Hey, you fucking derelicts. It's time for the
Daily Douchebag Pledge. I, Joe or Jane Listener,
hereby promise to download the show. I, Joe or
Jane Listener. Hereby promise to grab other people's
phones, unattended computers, public computers,
and all of my work computers as well, and download
the show from there. I, Joe or Jane Listener,
hereby promise to make other people listen. I,
Joe or Jane Listener. will hereby lie to everyone
about how quality the show is. I, Joe or Jane
Listener, promise to make all my family members
listen and recite the daily douchebag pledge.
And finally, I, Joe or Jane Listener, hereby
promise to make the trek to Knobloch, Missouri,
just to have a selfie with the Knobloch sign.
Here at Two Douchebags and a Microphone, we don't
stand behind our journalistic integrity. Go ahead
and assume we got the story wrong. At least we
admit it. Not like all those other guys, we can
and will lie if it makes the story better. Two
douchebags and a microphone? So you want proof
that we love you here at QD Spades and Microphone
Central? Here's a proof right here. How about
the drink of the week? How to make the famous
Carnival Cruise Line Miami Vice frozen drink.
Two ounces Bacardi one, seven ounces frozen pina
colada mix, three ounces strawberry daiquiri
mix, half a hurricane glass of ice. Blend it
all together and serve with a slice of pineapple
and a maraschino cherry on top. Bam, there you
go. Miami Vice, carnival style. Oh, hey, look
at the time. It's time for the crazy -ass word
of the day. And now, Deep Thoughts with Mark.
So, if I have a glass of ice water, and the ice
melts into the water, is my water then watered
down? Hmm. I may never know. These guys are inviting
as a used hypodermic needle. Strange, but true.
In 2003, a 25 -year -old Japanese woman was found
to have a tetaroma, a rare tumor that can grow
body parts. This tumor was extraordinarily unusual.
It had limbs, ears, teeth, bones, blood vessels,
and internal organs, resembling a malfunctioned
human figure. It even had a brain, though too
underdeveloped to function, encased in a thin
skull with a patch of hair. Hey, you greasy wankers,
it's time for the Midwest concert calendar. Want
a tool to Wichita? Static X with gore and dope
at the Cotillion on May 26th. Marshall Tucker
Band at the Temple Live, Wichita, May 29th. Alice
Cooper and Judas Priest in Trust Arena, October
8th. Diggly Rock, just up the road in Kansas
City at Grindr's, August 13th. Jerry Cantrell
supports a solo album, I Want Blood. He will
be live at Tub Camp Theater in Kansas City, September
14th. Black Oak Amphitheater, Landon, Missouri,
May 31st. Bob Cherry and Hinder. How about Tulsa?
Go see the Toadies at Kane's Ballroom, August
27th. Or how about the Melvins? Thursday, October
14th, Canes Ballroom also. Keep listening for
more updates coming soon. Two douchebags and
microphone. I'm Mark here in the Kansas City
area. Yeah, yeah, you guys got dumped on down
there, didn't you? Well, it's not a heavy rain.
It's a light. Oh. Barely a mist. I mean, it's
great for the vegetation. Yeah, not so great
for water skiing. Yeah, exactly. I don't know.
It's that light. You may not even feel it. I'm
talking about the coldness of the lake. We've
not had that. Yeah. You guys or us up here either
have not had any warm days in a row to warm the
water up. The reason I know this is because I
got the pool cover off with some help from some
friends, and I took my finger in there. Oh, it
is freezing. Yeah, well, by the weekend, we're
supposed to get back up in the 80s. Yeah, 85,
86 is what I saw. That's good with me. I'll take
it. Personally, I don't get into water, whether
it's a lake, lake or swimming pool, unless it's
heated, until about Fourth of July. Water is
just too cold for me. Usually when I start to
pull up, the first couple of weeks is just getting
in there just enough to vacuum it and then getting
the hell out of there. And then usually it really
doesn't kick in very well until probably mid
-June or around June 20th is usually when it
starts warming up enough. But anyhow. So, Rob,
did you hear? I just had around the 4th of July.
Yeah, you're right. You're right. June 20th,
you are going to hear fireworks, so that is actually
fireworks season, the 4th of July, so you're
right. Have you listened to the new podcast that
I put up? Unfortunately, no, I have not. I have
not. Okay. I have had a busy Memorial Day weekend.
Okay. Well, I want some feedback because there
are some surprises on there that I think you're
going to love. I will listen to it in the morning
and I will get back with you. Okay. Do so. I'm
telling you. I promise. Okay. Okay. I've been
everything from going to Oklahoma and back to
Fairgrove and back to babysitting my son's dog,
to cleaning my carpets. Yeah. I've been busy
for three days. Now I'm back to work. Okay. All
right. No, I get it. I know. I get the busy thing,
too. So I hear what you're saying. And no, I
was just wondering if you heard it, because I
want a little feedback from you. Yeah, and like
I said, normally I could, but tonight I can't,
brother. No, that's fine. I get too busy. Do
it in the morning. That's cool. You know the
feeling. You know the feeling. How did you like
that fuckhammer flyer? Oh, I love that. Oh, God.
He has another one that later on we produced
better ones. That was the first one we ever came
up with. And I remember now really well, the
owner of the Lone Star, or actually the bouncer.
You're going to cost me to get one. What? I'll
give you one. I'll print it off. Yeah, I want
one, man. I remember very well now, Lone Star
used to have a huge bouncer there, and he didn't
give a shit. That is a fake show. People come
up there and go, hey, is Fuckhammer playing?
No, get the fuck out of here, dumbass. You know,
he didn't care. The Hurricane, whenever I put
their name on the bill, they were the ones that
were outraged. They were pissed off. They didn't
want people walking up to them asking for Fuckhammer.
I remember, yeah, the Hurricane. I don't think
they're there anymore. I'm not for sure. Well,
the Lone Star isn't either. But anyhow, I remember
those were the guys that were out to get us.
They're like, yeah, you see those guys, you fucking
bring them here. Yeah, see, I remember when Lone
Star opened. I was going to Lone Star when it
first opened. Yeah, I loved that bar, too. It
was great. Oh, my God, it took forever to get
to it because it was packed all the time. Oh,
I know. To get to the damn crapper, it'd take
10 minutes, and it wasn't that big of a bar.
Yeah, and if there was a line, it was another
20 minutes. Yeah, oh, yeah, yeah. I remember
the one time I walked in there, and I seen the
guy laying on the ground with half of his face
in the urinal. Because, remember, they're the
stand -up urinals, almost life -size, goes from
the ground all the way up. I just, like, grabbed
the top of his... actually the bottom of his
jeans and pulled him back a little bit, but I
wasn't touching him. He was just fucking covered
in piss. I just, I just pulled him out enough
to where he wouldn't drown. And I told somebody
up front, I think I told Gilligan, I think a
guy's name was Gilligan. Um, that, that like,
It was like the house guy that ran around doing
everything. And I was like, hey, Gilligan, the
guy in there laying on the ground doesn't look
too good. Maybe you might go in there and see
what you can do. So anyhow, it's okay. Rob, did
you know that there's a number of people donating
their body to science? It has skyrocketed in
the past few years. Okay, I think... I believe
it. Okay. Well, I guess... There is no... There
is no... I believe it. Okay. It is because of
the high funeral prices. The research companies
will usually, after they're done, cremate you
and box your ashes up and give it back to your
family at no charge. So people are doing this
because they can't afford it. Yes. Okay. No,
I get exactly what you're saying. I do. Yeah.
I know a lot of people that are doing it. Rob,
I dare you to mess with your kids and tell them
that due to high funeral costs, you're donating
your body to a taxidermy outfit. Like, tell them
this. Hey, they're going to stuff my head, but
you'll have the rest of my body cremated and
sent to them in a nice decorative box. Okay,
well, it's a little late, man. Why? Oh, y 'all
ready? Two weeks ago, I told them I was buying
a couple funeral plots over on the tear. Oh,
damn it. Tell them you changed your mind. I do
it myself, but nobody believed me. They just
feel like, get out of here. Go, you know. And
then I'd be like, you know, all dejected, going,
no one believes me. And then I'd think, well,
I wouldn't believe me. I don't want to be on
a fireplace. I don't want to be in the ground,
you know. I'm, you know. I don't know. It's a
toss -up, you know? Yeah, I mean, it's everybody's
personal preference. We get that. Yeah, but think
about it. I would rather be 650 whole. I don't
want to be cremated. I want to be buried. But
if you told them a taxidermy, you could say,
hey, they're going to stuff my head, and you
can come visit me any time, Monday through Friday,
6 to 8. No, I've already warned my kids. seriously
thought of. Yeah, taxidermy. I think it's illegal.
One of my kids is going to stand me up in the
corner in their living room. Oh my gosh. I will
haunt them forever. It's kind of like, yeah,
it's kind of like stand me up next to the jukebox
when I die, the old country song. I remember
that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hell yeah. Leave me there.
I'll be good. Only play cool songs. Play cool
songs. That's it. That's all I ask. Tommy Lee
and his wife of six years, Brittany Furlan, have
reportedly split up. The split is rumored to
be over his excessive drinking. So, I gotta say
this. Glass houses, asshole. And I'm talking
about Tommy Lee. Now, if someone gets their little
ruffles feathered, because I'm not defending
the president. I'm just saying, what a hypocrite
Tommy Lee is. But if you get your little feathers
ruffled, so be it, okay? Go fucking suck it up,
look in the mirror and go, I can get through
this, okay? So anyhow, I'm not defending the
president or supporting whatever or anything
like that, all that fucking good shit because
people can't take anything anymore. Get their
little feelings hurt. Tommy Lee had a statement
a year ago and it was to President Trump. It
was, dude, what the fuck is wrong with you? Well
then, Mr. Music Performer, stay in your own fucking
lane. Shut up and play. It's all backtracking
now anyhow, so he's not even fucking playing
on the stage. They show it on YouTube all the
time. You've probably ruined your only talent
in life. You know, he was a great drummer, but
I'm pretty sure it's probably ruined now. He's
probably because he's a fucking idiot, in my
opinion. So, you know, Trump should repost that
article on X. You know, Tommy Lee is such a lowbrow
moron, you know. So, anyhow. Oh, yeah. I mean,
really. Brian's been made up with drugs. Yeah,
yep. Okay, you see what I mean, though? He comes
out with a statement. Like that, against the
President of the United States. And, I mean...
Yeah, you're stupid for doing that to begin with.
Yes, yes. Because then you open yourself up to
criticism, so now people are seeing this and
going, hey, wait a minute, wait a minute, hang
on, Tommy, hang on, hang on a second. You were
saying, what the fuck is wrong with you? Well,
we're kind of wondering what the fuck is wrong
with you. So... Yeah. Yeah, so I'm saying glass
houses, and this is what I'm saying, and I say
it to all the musicians. Shut your fucking mouth
and play. And if you can't do that, then go somewhere.
Get out. Go. I don't want to hear your political
opinion ever. Ever. It doesn't mean anything
to me. I don't think you're smart enough to have
one. You fucking play an instrument. Shut up
and get the fuck out of here. Either play or
don't. But don't try to tell me how I need to
feel like the Bonos of the world and the Eddie
Vedders and all those fucks. I don't care what
you think. I don't care what you think we need
to do. So, anyhow, Rob, you got anything to add
to that? I'm done with it now. I can't add anything
to that. Yeah, I mean... No, no, no, but honestly,
you said it the way it should be said. I mean,
these artists come in and try to tell us how
we need to live and how things... Who the fuck
are you? Yeah, it burns my ass. It's like because
people want to hear your music, you think they
want to hear your... All you're going to do is
try to write a hit song about it if you can change
the world. Yes. So far, nobody's changed the
world yet. Yeah, while you're going from city
to city in your jet, your jet, your fucking private
jet. Right? Yeah. Private jet that takes more
fuel than my car will in one week than my car
will in probably 20 years. More pollution, too.
While you're sitting there complaining about
emissions. Yes. Yeah. I don't want to hear it.
Self -righteous. Yeah, we're not going to mention
any names on that one. No. Everybody knows who's
been in the end. Everybody knows. So, you know
what? I mean, they're self -righteous assholes.
And that's why a great reason that, I mean, I
love old music and stuff like that, but a lot
of the newer stuff, like the newer Motley Crue
stuff, Nikki Sixx is an idiot too, in my opinion.
Him and Tommy Lee are both morons, in my opinion.
And Vince Neil is just a fucking beach ball,
you know? But Vince Neil is smart enough to not
say anything. Those two always got their mouth
open. He's been a beach ball. What the hell are
you talking about? Well, he used to be a skinny
beach ball. Now he's not. That's a good point.
Yes. Now he's a blown up beach ball. Yeah. And
I thought Jim Dandy aged horrible. I don't know.
I don't know. Maxwell Rose looks like Mickey
Rourke. Are you kidding me? He does. He also
looks like Buster Brown and the Dutch boy paint
guy. It depends on what haircut he's wearing
that day. more Mickey Rourke. He does look like
Mickey Rourke. With the wrinkles and shit. Yes.
There's an online petition, you can look this
up, that is demanding he grows his hair. They're
like, dude, you cannot look like Mickey Rourke.
Stop it. Oh, okay. Hey, Rob, you remember Cosmax?
The McDonald's thing? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
we've talked about them. Yeah, we've talked about
them several times. I've never seen one. Well,
there's a good reason. They were the new McDonald's,
in case someone doesn't know, they're the new
McDonald's evolution into Gen Zers. Well, it
appears that all the Mac stores, CosMac stores
are closing, Rob. All five of them. Five of them.
Five of them. It's been out, what, four years?
And there's only five CosMac stores, and every
one of them. It's been 40 years, man. We just
reported on it like last year. Oh, you know what?
You're right. Okay, five stores, and they're
all closing. Four in Texas, and then one, I think,
in Illinois. Every one of them are closing. You
know, I'm guessing their gimmick snack and coffee
thing was, it was so outrageously priced. And
we all know Gen Z. And their weird -ass sandwiches.
Yeah, yeah, those didn't. Yeah. Even a Gen Zer
would think that looked gross. Pretty sure. I
would rather go to McDonald's and get a breakfast
burrito. Yeah, me too. If I was going to go McDonald's
route, I would too. I agree with you, Rob. This
stuff, no. You know, and everybody knows Gen
Zer's extra capital all goes to Starbucks only.
That's it. Any extra money, they go, it goes
to Starbucks. We all know this. So, McD's, get
off the tip. You're not a Gen Zer food. I don't
know. I don't know. Scooters is going to be a
big thing. Oh, I love Scooters. Oh, Scooters
is great coffee. We have one here, too. Oh, hell,
that's the only place Shannon goes. Scooters
is awesome. Do you know what she likes there?
They have a peanut butter one. Now, this is if
I'm in the mood for a shake, not a real coffee.
Okay. No, she goes for the coffee. Yeah, I like
their coffee. I like their brewed coffee and
their iced coffee really well. Yeah, they have
exploded everywhere. They're all over the city,
too, now. And they're doing very well. They're
battling Starbucks very well. And they have that
neat drive -thru. You know, they're all drive
-thrus. And they're really easy to get in and
out. Our problem with Starbucks is, to get to
Starbucks, we have to go clear to the far side
of Osage Beach. There's only one? It's like a
20 -minute drive from here. Yeah, one Starbucks.
Go to Scooters. I like Scooters better anyhow.
Yeah, Scooters is right here in Campton. Scooters
is smart. Yeah. They're getting all of Campton's
business. It's like five minutes from here. That's
good. Cool. Hey, you remember that internet comedy
channel that wanted to use some of our material?
Yes. Okay, well, here's a little update on it.
I called the most helpful attorney that I've
used ever, Rich. He said if I sent him a copy
of the contract, he would have to bill me, but
I could read it to him over the phone and he'd
give me advice on it at no charge. So that's
what I did. First off, he said that the contract
looked like a fifth grader wrote it up. And he
also said consent to waiving ad revenue with
no limits placed. is complete idiocy. The guy
could take our revenue at any time anyway, the
way it's written. Okay, so I called the channel
guy back and told him what was up. He got real
angry. He said he was trying to help the little
guy. He was outraged. We were questioning him
and he was doing us a favor and all this stuff.
So I said, hang on a minute, hang on a minute.
I go, how many listeners do you have? You don't
download like we do because it's a continuous
stream. How many listeners do you have? He wouldn't
answer me. And I go, how do you know we're the
little guy? I think you might be the little guy
and you need us more than you need us. You need
us more than we need you. We have emails from
Brussels. Yeah, I ended up telling him to go
fuck himself. I mean, you know, that shit about
getting mad, you know, I was going to cross -promote
his channel, but not now. Not us getting a big
hit. Well, man, like Rich, my attorney, pointed
out, he said there's no limits to it. He said
it's like a fifth grader wrote it. So, you know,
we signed that, and he could do about anything.
With ad revenue, potential ad revenue. And that
is not what we want. No. And, you know, you know
what? Screw him. He's an idiot, you know. And
the fact that he got so pissed off about it tells
me something there, you know. He should have
been like, hey, good luck, guys. You know, you
want to cross promote? That's what I was going
to ask him. I was going to say, hey, we'll mention
you all the time on us. And you mention us all
the time on you. Yeah, like we've done a couple
different people. Yeah, and I was like, I was
going to do that, and then he got all stupid
on me. I was like, you know what? No, I don't
want anything to do with this guy. So... And
anyhow, his... I've had nothing to do with him,
and I'm not even interested. Well, his stream...
Not at that. His stream is down all the time,
anyhow. He's going to end up just... He's going
to shut it down. He can't ever... His stream's
down? He doesn't have the personnel, is my opinion.
He doesn't have the personnel to keep it going.
I know. So, anyhow, I think he needed us more
than we needed him, honestly. Yeah. Yeah, if
we're down, it's because of us. Yeah, and then
he acted like he was doing us a favor. Nah. Yeah.
Yeah. I don't think so, brother. Nope. I'm glad
you feel the same way, and I didn't have time
to text you because you were at work. It happened
really quick, though. No, no, no, that's fine.
That's fine. I totally appreciate it. I mean,
I didn't know he was going to get all stupid
on me. Like I said, I'm in total agreement. Yeah.
We're not just being douchebags. We're business.
Yeah, we're talking about a long time. We don't
want people to steal our shit. No. No, and you
know what? I mean, he may have not meant anything
like that at all, but the fact is, is it could
work out like that. Yeah, at any given point,
he could take it. What if he sold it? We're not
doing it. What if he sold it? All it would take,
yeah, that's what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah. All
it would take would be us having a bad word with
him, and we're fucking after right here where
we are. Well, he obviously has a temper, so anyhow.
You know, I'm glad we're done with that. I don't
want to deal with it. No, our stuff is not going
to be on his platform ever. Akron, Ohio had a
first, Rob. I've been out in the yard all day.
I've got allergies. Yeah, a raccoon smoking meth
in the front seat of a vehicle. Did you see that?
This happened probably about a week ago, but
I just now got to it. Chewy the pet raccoon was
obviously a victim of bad parenting. Chewy got
into his mom's stash while she was busy dealing
with an arrest warrant situation. I hope Chewy
goes up for adoption, don't you? He needs to
go to Hollywood. Yeah, he does. He needs to go
star in movies. Well, she was dealing with an
arrest warrant. What happened? He's going through
her purse and grabbing her meth and smoking it.
Yeah, and they actually showed they have him
on videos with the meth pipe in his mouth. Oh,
my God. You know, that's hilarious. You know,
you always say you can't write this shit. That's
what they're referring to. That right there.
Oh, dude. No, I have three or four different
stories saved about that same thing. Yeah, that
ain't no made -up shit there. No, I agree. I
agree. Yeah, there's no way in a million years
I thought a raccoon would... imitate a woman
smoking meth by watching her but you know every
day you learn something so um don't masturbate
around raccoons that's what i learned no no no
no that would be great that would be funny to
watch little fucking arms is going No, no, you
do need to. You do need to masturbate around
raccoons. Yeah, we need that kind of entertainment
in our lives these days. And then you can just,
let's say you're sitting in an office of some
sort. You got to get a title or something. And
all of a sudden you go, you know, have you heard
about those raccoons walking around masturbating?
Yeah, I know, man. What the hell? How'd they
learn that shit? And I'm over there in the corner.
Then I'll chime in, yeah, isn't that weird? So,
anyhow. Holly LaFavors, LaFavors, not Flavors.
Gosh, my allergies. I apologize. I don't have
the cough button. We're cheap here. Holly LaFavors
of Lexican, Kentucky. I do. I know you do. Yeah,
I have a cough button. Well, I could, but it
would shut the whole shit show down. For now.
Okay. Later on when I get better equipment, I'm
sure I can do something, rig something up to
have some sort of a cough button. But until then,
you're going to hear me cough. Holly LaFavors
of Lexington, Kentucky tried to cancel an Amazon
order her son placed when he got hot on her phone.
Liam, her second grade son, ordered 30 large
cases of Dum Dum Suckers. You know, I'm thinking
the only dum -dum there is the mom. You let a
second grader get on your phone? 4 ,000 worth
of lollipops. 2 ,340 suckers per box. That's
one big sucker. The mom. Her son said he was
ordering for his carnival he planned on having.
He had big plans. Yes, he had big plans. He's
going to have his carnival. Well, at least he
didn't get Harambe killed. You know? Yeah, I'm
sorry. I got to put that promo in. I haven't
done it in a couple of shows. I apologize. We
need to constantly remember Harambe. And we also
need to honor the heritage, Dicks Out for Harambe.
Did you know about that? Did you ever hear about,
okay, yeah. I think it's like the weather channels
down there filming a hurricane and a bunch of
college guys come running by naked and screaming
Dicks Out for Harambe. So that's pretty much
how all this Harambe stuff started. Okay, anyhow,
Amazon gave a full refund. I was hoping they
wouldn't. Then she would really have to beat
the little shit's ass. You know, make him eat
suckers every night for dinner and save his meal
money up to recoup the loss, right? Yeah, there
you are having some really delicious pot roast.
Okay, go ahead. Okay. Oh, he'd love that, actually.
Okay. Yeah, and then you get in trouble for being
a bad parent. Yeah, and actually, really, it's
not his fault. You give your kid your phone.
No, it's your fault for not watching your damn
credit card. Yes, yes, yeah. Especially when
you have everything attached to Google or Apple,
you know. All your numbers are in there. Yeah,
so. Anyhow, I need to get one of those wallets
that you can't. the magnetic strip can't penetrate
through because there's been a lot of instances
where people just walk by and you know, the tap,
it will tap their credit card for something and
you'll pay for someone else's stuff. So yeah.
And the thing don't even leave your pocket. Yeah,
exactly. Yeah. Yeah. They make like the metal
wallets now. Yeah. I need to get one of them.
So I think I'm going to too. Cool. Anyhow, that's
all I've got for this segment. So, Rob, we turn
to you. Okay, I'm going to go to a sad day. I'm
going to bring us there. I know, I know, I know.
I thought of you when I read the news. You know
exactly where I'm going. Yeah. Okay, while the
original Duck Dynasty aired its final episode
in 2000... the Robertsons are back in Duck Dynasty
The Revival, premiering on June 1st on A &E.
The new series will focus on Duck Commander CEO
Willie Robertson, as well as his business partner
and wife, Corey, and their family. Unfortunately,
just ahead of the series premiere, the Robertsons
have suffered a major loss The coolest one. Family
patriarch, the founder of Duck Commander, the
dad. Yep. The news was shared via social media
on Sunday, May 25th, about half an hour after
it was announced he'd been diagnosed with Alzheimer's
disease. Or half a year, not half an hour. Okay.
At least he wouldn't remember dying, right? Too
soon? Okay. He lived a decent life. Okay. I'm
sorry. I'm sorry, Rob. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm done. I'm done. I'm sorry. Go ahead, Rob.
Too soon. season was filming ahead of Phil Roberts'
death and was likely feature appearances from
many members of the family. Good news for fans
who have been missing Duck Dynasty. Well, also
in this article, it gives the Duck Dynasty members
net worth. Okay. Okay, Willie's son, John Luke.
Mm -hmm. His net worth is $800 ,000. Okay. He's
nearly 30 years old, and he still married his
wife, Mary Kate, that he married in 2015 on the
show. I mean, $800 ,000 is not that much. He's
living pretty meager. Oh, shit. Now he's got
three kids. Yeah. Yeah, he's really... Lower
middle class, probably. Anyhow, go ahead. Okay,
and Sadie Robertson Huff, which is Willie's daughter,
John Luke's sister. She's in her late 20s, married
to Christian Huff, and the pair have two children.
She's been on Dancing with the Stars and recorded
a duet with country artist Alison Krauss. I did
not know that. I didn't know that either. She's
doing all that stuff with Robert Plant. I had
no idea she did that with her. Okay, well, Sadie's
network is one million. Okay, that's a little
bit better. But still not like I thought. Willie's
brother, Jace, and his wife, Missy, who have
the kids, Reed, Cole, and Mia, earn at work $8
million. Wow. Okay. Now, why does it say why
that is? Well, he works on the manufacturing
side. I don't know. Okay. All right, maybe he
had good investments. Who knows? Oh, he restored
a 19th century building to use as an event venue.
Oh, okay. Yeah, see, there may be work more,
but they keep investing. Yeah, yeah, that makes
sense. Yeah, and his wife, Missy, is written.
Multiple books. Yeah, that's true. Okay. Okay.
I see it now. I see it now. Okay. Oh, here we
go. Uncle Si. Mm -hmm. Eight million. Pretty
solid. Okay. Okay. Right here. Right here. Okay.
I have something up with this report. Okay. You
heard Jace. They're both worth $8 million, right?
Yes. Next one is Jeff and Jessica Robertson.
The younger brother. Okay. That worth $8 million.
He did good, too. All three of them worth $8
million. Wow. That's weird. It is, isn't it?
and Kay Robertson. $25 million. Okay. God rest
his soul. Yep. I think I know why, because the
brainchild of that was him, wasn't it, of the
show? Yeah, he started the company. Well, he
started the company, Duck Commander. Yeah, that's
what I thought. Out of the shed. I mean, if you
watch the shows. He started it out of a shed.
Out of a shed, yeah, that's right. Well, you
know what? He deserved all that money, and now,
you know what? The lower end of the kids, the
$800 ,000s, it just bumped up to $2 million.
Right? Okay, and now... Yeah? We get to Willie
and Corey Robertson. Okay. The now CEO of Duck
Commander's son. 5 million. Ooh. Wow. Yeah. Because
he's the CEO? Well, he's CEO, but you gotta realize,
yeah, they work by the hour like everybody else.
Uh -huh. But a lot of their stuff comes from
merchandise. Yes, that's true. Good point. All
the duck commander merchandise. Mm -hmm. Yep.
And they all are in contracts to receive so much
of. You know what I mean? So, yeah, it fills
them up. Okay, that makes a lot of sense, Rob.
Makes a lot of sense. That's sad. Wally Roberts'
sons work more than me, and I'm 56 years old.
That's the way it happens. All right. Thank you,
Rob. Is that all of them? Yeah, that's all I
had on that. Okay. You want to go to emails after
we take a break? Sounds good. All right. We'll
be right back. First world problems. What in
the devil? My bank is really out of calendars.
What do they expect me to do? Go to Walmart and
buy a $3 calendar? This is complete bullshit.
I am outraged. Ms. Gulkenstein was tired of Mark
and Toe for making sport of her. Little did the
douchebags know Ms. Gulkenstein was a voodoo
high priestess when she was younger. She grew
angry and cast a spell on Rob, changing Rob into
a capuchin monkey. Mark took Rob to a local zoo
so we could be with the other monkeys. Here are
the adventures of Rob, the capuchin monkey. Shh,
be very quiet. We're going to listen in as Rob,
the capuchin monkey, tries to sell the rest of
the capuchin monkeys Amway. Rob has always dreamed
of becoming a diamond status Amway as a capuchin
monkey. Little did our hero Rob know. All the
great apes owned stock in Sam's Club and became
violently pissed off when he tried to infringe
on their territory. They promptly grabbed switches
and beat his ass for three days straight. Rob
could not sit down. Have you ever wondered what
something is or not? Have you ever looked at
something and said, I wonder what the origin
of that is? Well, so have we. That's why we give
you The Origin Of. This is The Origin of Ketchup
and Katsup. There's no actual difference between
ketchup and catsup. There are both two different
spellings for the same tomato -based condiment.
The term ketchup is more commonly and widely
accepted, while catsup is still used in some
regions, particularly in the south and midwest
of the United States. Most spellings are correct
and refer to the same sweet -sour condiment typically
made with tomatoes, mangoes, sugar, and spices.
The word ketchup likely originated from the Chinese
term qi jia se, a fermented fish sauce. Over
time, variations like ketchup spell both ways.
emerged as the condiment was adapted with Western
ingredients, including tomatoes. Knob Lake is
an unincorporated community in southern St. Francis
County, Missouri, United States. It is located
on Missouri Route DD, just east of U .S. Route
67, approximately 8 miles south of Farmington,
Missouri. Knoblick has a post office with the
zip code 63651, which has been in operation since
1870. The community takes its name from nearby
Knoblick Mountain. In the Ozarks, Knob typically
refers to an isolated summit, and Wick is a natural
salt lick or salt spring. The mountain runs across
U .S. 67. Approximately 80 acres of the summit
are protected by the Missouri Department of Conservation.
A gravel road leads to the conservation area,
which includes a granite clade. picnic facilities,
and a closed fire lookout tower. 147 was the
population reported in 2020. You watched the
news. It looks grim. Is an apocalypse inevitable?
We suggest you download all our podcasts beforehand
and have multiple mobile chargers. We have the
post -apocalypse. Remember, post -apocalypse
to have a sewage bit. Sewage untreated can result
in serious illness and other obstacles for your
family to live well. You also should have some
chemicals stocked up, maybe bags of chlorine
or something of such, to sanitize the sewage
per week. And now, Deep Thoughts with Mark. Does
a straw have one hole? Or does it have two? I
may never know. To Douchebags and Microphone,
I'm Mark here in the Kansas City area. Lake of
the Ozarks. Yeah, Niagara Arm, I'm sorry. I was
laughing at my next story, dude. Yes, I did.
Oh, no, no. I said those will be Sunday. Okay,
good. Just so everybody knows, after we got done
the other night, I had this idea of another list.
Our top seven angry songs. Yeah. Songs that were
angry. I love that. Now, Mark, this could be
songs that keep you fueled up, or it could be
songs that bring you down. You see, I took it
as a fuel up like... Like you're mad. Okay. You
know what? I'll rethink it again. I have a list,
but I've been rethinking it. Okay. Yeah, I got
what you're saying. Okay. All right. I mean,
there's so many to go through, and the solos
was not easy either. The solos was hard to do
again. You know how we thought we had done solos,
and I swear to God we did. Yeah, I thought so,
too. I went through all four of my notebooks,
and I could not find solos. I guess we didn't
do them. We just thought we did. I found the
riffs. I found everything else. But I could have
swore we did solos. That's all right. That's
all right. Tulsa King will never doubt you again.
When I update mine. All right. When I update
mine. Okay, cool. Well, I love it. I can't believe
we didn't do it already. I thought we did, but
I love it. So I had fun doing it. So, all right.
Actually, it was kind of like a deja vu. Yeah,
I could have swore we'd done it. Yeah. Oh, well,
all right. I'm glad we didn't. All right. Hey,
guys, I'm getting together a GoFundMe for the
W Highway Little Grand Bridge. This is an old
stone bridge that's caving in. We're also trying
to get a Starbucks for the beautiful Lake Freeman
Massey Creek arm. Mitch on his Blackberry over
the W Highway Bridge, South Freeman. P .S. The
Creek to Freeman South is actually Little Grand,
not South Grand. Is it? Anyhow, alright Mitch,
I hope you get some money for the W Highway Bridge.
I know it's horrible. And that's a great idea.
We'll see what we can do. Yeah, yeah, we'll see.
So we hope that you get that. Depends on how
much of a paying ass you are. Well, he finally
dropped fuck hammers, it seems like. So until
we post the flyer up and then he'll probably
go at it again. So, all right. And then. Little
Grand? Okay, I guess I can believe that. It's
Little Grand, not the South Grand. Okay, well,
I'm still saying, you might as well come down
and spend a weekend with me and see the 9 -1.
That's right. That's right. Yeah. All right,
next one. Hey, I'm not trying to be a dick or
take a dump on you guys, but honestly, your intro
to Drink of the Week said... I love these. But
honestly... Your intro to Drink of the Week segment
is terrible. You guys can do better. Love the
podcast. Lenny the Brick Eagle. Whatever the
fuck that is. My first incline was to tell him
to fuck off. But then, he's right. It is horrible.
I need to revamp that. Okay, well, he's right.
I did wonder. No, no, no. I mean, like I said,
my first thing was to snap at him, and then I
took a seat, and I was like, wait a minute, hang
on. Let's make sure there's not some truth to
it. And actually, he's right. It's horrible.
I did it in a hurry, and I never thought about
it again. So I will do that. It will be changed.
Okay. Rob, I'm looking for an AMC Gremlin dashboard
in good condition. Thanks in advance, Willie.
They're not going to let you go. Willie. Yeah.
Is this Willie from Montrose is what I want to
know. AMC dashboard. Yes. He did not give it
here. To a note I just found a while ago, and
I'm sorry, Mitch. I forgot about your fender
for an 83 Chevy van. I just found that note.
Mitch, he's getting on it. He's very sorry. He's
been busy. Yes, I'm sorry. Well, no, I just ran
across the note, I believe. And Willie, he's
going to check on that Gremlin dashboard, but
you did not give us a year. Wait, all the Gremlins
were alike. It didn't matter the year, right?
It didn't matter the year? The year really shouldn't
matter. That's why he didn't put a year down.
Okay. I'll do some research if I will re -ask.
Yeah, Willie, we may ask for a year, but hopefully
we can help you with that because those Gremlins
are terrific cars. They're runners. Yes. My mom
and dad had one. I have one. Like 73 when they
first came out. Brand new. Wow. Okay, mine was
old when I bought it. It wasn't brand new, so.
Yeah. Rob, how about a recipe calendar? You could
post for each month in your loincloth with a
home cooking recipe. Lola in Colorado. To be
honest, I don't know how to answer this because
Shannon may listen. Oh. Oh, no, I know how you
answer this. I doubt she's going to be like Val.
Okay, doesn't listen. Okay. That's your thing.
You go for it. Yep, yeah, yeah. That's pretty
much Val's stance. If I can get away with it,
I will do it. Okay, there you go. All right.
And I'll be on sale for $25 .99 a week. Thank
you for the show. Yes. Yes. Come on. We need,
you know, we need stationary, people. That costs
a lot of money. It's out of our money. Yeah.
Yep. All right. Mark, I love this one. Mark,
is the drink adios motherfuckers real? Sounds
like a bad headache and night sweats to me. Ronnie
and Tulsa, the Tulsa King. P .S. How about your
top seven scary slash horror slack? I can't talk
today. Slash movies. Slash movies, hack and slash
movies, B -movies, yes. Oh, fuck, okay, Ronnie.
Okay, the Adios Motherfuckers drink is real,
and that's the real ingredients, and they have
them on cruise ships, and they have them in bars.
They're designed to get you, bullet train you
to being fucked up. That's how come they have
the different liquors in them, so many different
ones. It's true. I'm not kidding, Ronnie. You
can look it up yourself. Google it. It's an actual
drink. Anyhow, and it does sound like a bad headache
and night sweats to me. All right. Sunday or
next Tuesday for the top seven scary horror hack
and slash B movies. Yep. Which one? Sunday or
Tuesday? Tuesday because Sunday we're going to
have another list. Yeah, let's go with it Tuesday.
Okay, there you go, Ronnie. A week from today.
We have our list coming up Sunday. Yes. Okay,
there you go, Ronnie. Thank you. And it is a
real drink. Yes. Oh, go ahead. What? Nothing.
Oh, okay. All right. Hey, dudes. Ricky from Dodge
City, Kansas. I'm just checking in and saying
hello. Everything is fine here except needing
a little rain. Take care, guys. We still listen.
I know, this was great. We still listen, even
the sports and music shows. I'm still waiting
for the real story podcast. Wow, he remembered
that. We're going to do one, or we're going to
do a series of them. Topher and Mark are wanting
to do. He remembered that. Remember me and Topher
talking about doing the real story of what happened?
He remembered that. So I think there's... I think
there's going to be a lot of interest in it.
And we're going to tackle some subjects that
nobody's even thought about. But we're going
to uncover the real story. Everyone thinks they
know what happened, but we're going to uncover
the truth. Mark, I did a term paper on odd occurrences.
I'm certain you can use most of these for your
strange but true section. I'm attaching the file.
Love you guys. Milton in Iowa. Milton, resend
it. I could not find a file anywhere on that
email. So please resend it. It sounds good to
me. I'll use them if they're good. I'll give
you credit too. So please resend it. And I've
got a featured email, but we're going to do that
a little bit later. It's kind of long, but it's
pretty intriguing. So Rob, we turn it to you.
Oh shit. Oh, okay. Okay, I'm done. Okay, yeah,
this is a good one. Alright. That's a weird one.
A combat veteran who once warned that he was
trained to eliminate his enemies. allegedly barricade
himself inside the California home of the Beanie
Babies CEO. Yes, you heard me right. Although
Maxwell Faye, 43, was taken into custody by authorities
after a standoff with law enforcement on May
24th, according to a release from the Santa Barbara
County Sheriff's Office Police said the deputies
responded to a call from the Montecito home of
reclusive billionaire Ty Warner, 80, the CEO
of Beattie Babies. Upon their arrival, deputies
came upon a gravely injured woman inside the
home and determined that all... After a crisis
intervention train, deputy attempted to talk
Faye out of the bathroom. The suspect attempted
to escape out the room's second story window.
He was caught outside the home with the help
of a canine team and taken into custody. Fido
got him. Okay. Uh -huh. Oh. Okay, went from a
funny story to something really bad real quick.
Okay. Yeah, and I think I'm going to stop it
right there. Yeah, he broke into his house, beat
his woman. And actually, it goes on to where
they're on mental. They're going to try to get
him out on mental. I hope not. I hope not. I
mean, I don't care if it is mental. You do that
to someone, you should knock it out. Bottom line.
He is currently being held in jail on a $1 million
bond. Okay, good. After being charged with attempted
murder, burglary, kidnapping, assault, and resisting
physical assault. Trying to get him on mental
and he did all that. Uh -huh. Okay, bullshit.
Yeah. If there's a fucking judge out there that
grants him mental, they need to take that judge
into the mental hospital. Well, he... He may
have a fight because he was a teacher in a 2014
article in the San Francisco Chronicle. Yeah,
he was having mental issues and sounded crazy
then. Okay. All right. Well, all right. Thank
you, Rob. And he has a better one. army which
would be oh okay all right yeah this is me backing
off all right yeah i'm gonna wait i'm gonna wait
okay thank you rob is that it yeah that's it
okay all right i've got this uh email that i'm
gonna go ahead and tackle then we'll go into
break and come back with some of your stuff that
sound okay yeah we're gonna go into the guitar
solos Oh, shit, yeah. Oh, hey, let's do that
for... I'm sorry. Forgot all about that. Can
we do that before we... Yeah, that's a good idea.
Yep, let's do it. And then when we come back,
I'll go into... Sorry, Ronnie. Sorry, Ronnie.
I'm off it tonight. I'm sorry. I had my new tooth
put in, and I was under anesthesia. It's a busy
week for all of us. Yeah, yeah. So, anyhow, go
ahead, Rob. Okay. My top seven... Best guitar
solos. Number seven, and I hate to put them down
this far, Freebird by Leonard Skinner. That's
a great one. But they're on the top seven. Yeah.
So that shows something to come. That's pretty
good. That's solid. Number six, I'm going to
go with All Along the Watchtower by Jimi Hendrix.
Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's a fantastic solo. Oh.
Oh, yeah, definitely. Number five, because he
was ahead of his time, and I think you will agree
with this one. Johnny Be Good by Chuck Berry.
Oh, yeah. Yes. He was ahead of his time. Yes,
he was. I agree. If you don't believe us, watch
Back to the Future. Michael J. Fox will show
you everything, how it happened. That's right.
His cousin was doing a gig, and Michael J. Fox
came up and said, it's going to be good. And
his cousin called Chuck Hurd, and that's how
he made it. It's going to be good. Well -documented
in history books, yes. Thanks to Hollywood. Yes.
Okay, number four. And honestly, this is the
first time this guitarist has been on one of
my lists. Okay. I've got to go with Eruption
by Eddie Van Halen. Okay, I know people... Sorry,
there's something about Eddie... He went... No,
no, no. He would have made it on mine, but I
don't consider eruption a solo. It's a piece
by itself. But, I mean, I guess you can consider
it a solo. A lot of people do. A lot of people
think it's one of the best solos ever. I didn't
put it on mine. A lot of people do, yeah. If
I considered it a solo, and I'm not arguing the
point or nothing, that's fine. If I considered
it a solo, it would have been on there. So I
agree with you. It's the parts of it that's a
solo. with no drums, nobody else. That's the
way I went. Okay, no, that's cool. Hey, it's
a great piece, and I can see why you put it there.
Number three, and this is another sad one. It's
got to be down a slow, but it's got to be. I've
got to go with Randy Rhodes for Crazy Train.
Yeah. I wish I could have him in two or one,
but... Not on this list. No, that's fine, but
that's pretty solid. Number two, I'm going with
another Jimi Hendrix. You can't go wrong. And
it is the great Star Spangled Banner at Woodstock.
Wow. I guess I caught it. Okay, got it. It is
iconic, and it started a lot of things. That
piece that he did right there started the improvising
a song and making it your own while you know
what the song is. He did it masterfully. Exactly.
And he did it live at Woodstock. Yeah. Yep. Ahead
of his time, too. Jimi Hendrix was. Okay. And
my number one and will always be my favorite
guitar solo. Okay. When My Guitar Gently Weeps
by George Harrison. Man. Yes. Even the melody,
everything on that song. George Harrison. I always
heard people dogging George Harrison. Oh, he's
not that great at guitars. Bullshit. Bullshit.
Listen to that song. He's not flashy. Yeah, he
is such a songwriter. Oh, he's one of the best.
Thank you, Rob. That's a great list. Well thought
of. I appreciated that list. Me, number seven,
I have to go with In the Evening, Led Zeppelin.
And let me explain this. Okay. Jimmy Page did
what he felt the song should have and not what
anyone would think would be in there. The solo
starts off with him. It sounds like he throws
his guitar on the ground. And then it goes into
a couple other pieces. But the whole description
of that solo was masterful chaos. It was beautiful.
What he was saying there was easy to read. Everything's
insane, but it's in control. I think it's one
of the most masterful solos ever. The way that
he just put that in there because it needed to
be in there and not because a bunch of people
would be like, what did he do? He dropped the
guitar? He knew people were going to do that.
He knew that real people would go, man, that's
fucking brilliant. So, number six. This one I
reached and I had to think about it. I actually
read it on a Reddit post and I was like, my God,
they're right. Lonely is the World by Black Sabbath.
And this is from Dio and it's the side two of
Heaven and Hell, I believe. And that solo on
there is just, it's gut -wrenching. The song
is Lonely is the World. The solo. Is lonely in
the world. Masterful. Some of Tony Iommi's best
work ever. And man. That guy's got a lot of great
work. Yeah. Just insanely good. I probably could
have went lower. But I didn't. Number five. Deep
Purple Burn. I almost went with Highway Star.
Because that solo. Is just awesome. But I went
ahead and went with Burn. Richie Blackmore. You
don't have to say any more of that dude. Jeez.
I know. I really want him on this one, dude.
I put him on. I could have had him two or three
times. The one on Perfect Strangers could go
on there, too. The guy's working. Yeah, I forgot
about that one. I mean, the guy's body of work
is just so good. I mean, it's kind of like Tony
Iommi. It's like... Oh, that's my favorite. Oh,
no, no, no. No, that's my favorite. Oh, no, wait
a minute. You know, you just can't really pick
because they're all so good. They just have a
knack for songwriting that no other has. So,
number four, No More Tears. Ozzy, of course.
Zach Wild. That is one of the best solos ever.
Okay. He's describing a psychopath. And the song's
panning back and forth. Zack comes in there with
this tone that's insane. This tone let you inside
this psychopath's head. This tone is what that
psychopath is feeling. And then he pans back
and forth with the guitar, the way that he plays
it, and the way he does everything. He puts everything
together, explained everything you needed to
know. If you just heard that solo, you knew what
it was about. You didn't have to read the song
title. Sax Masterful. He pulled that off excellent.
Number three, one of the biggest underrated guitarist
ever, and he'll never get the credit he deserves,
Mr. Kim Thall of Soundgarden. Slaves and Bulldozers.
That fucking solo. If you have the headphones
on... God, it's been years since I've heard that.
That's why I forgot about that. That thing is
so good. Kim Tho will never get the credit he
deserves. He wasn't flashy. He put what needed
to be in there. I mean, like Room a Thousand
Years Wide is just notes, high notes that describe
the song. It's just masterful. Number two, because
this guy started a lot of this stuff, especially
with the distortion and the wah -wah and the
wangy and everything. Sunshine of Your Love,
Cream. Of course, Eric Clapton. Yes. Hearing
that solo on there made people want to rock.
Because you're just coming off a lot of the British
stuff. And of course, they're British. But they
had the ditties and all that. The Stones had
their stuff going. The Who had their stuff going.
And Cream was like, nah, we're going to take
your psychedelic rock, guys. We're going to go
heavy psychedelic rock, and it's going to blow
your mind. And so it did. Number one, Mr. Crowley
by Ozzy and no other than Randy Rhoades. Mr.
Crowley, that solo is written so masterfully.
I tell anyone to go back and re -listen to it
if you've forgotten it, and you'll go, wow, I
forgot all about that. So, there you go. I'm
going to try to clear my sinuses a little bit.
And we'll be right back. And I'm going to do
this one email because I like what the guy questioned
some things. And I like where he went with it.
So we'll be right back. Jam X. What the hell
happened? You were the generation of change.
You never wanted to be one of them. Apathy. Spoke
for you. Fuck the man. Fuck the system. What
the hell happened? The generation of angst? The
generation of non -compliance? Is now buying
a boat? You're really fed up to kill someone
who dangled a dollar near you? Great job, Xers.
Everything's ruined. Next up, Things Overheard
in Hell. The brand new Charles in Charge reboot
is the only show available all week. Oh, shit.
What's that over there? Oh, no. It's the island
of horrible jokes. I can't take my dog to the
lake. The ducks keep attacking him. That's what
I get for having a purebred dog. Have you ever
wondered what something came about? Have you
ever looked at something and said, hmm, I wonder
what the origin of that is? Well, so have we.
That's why we give you the origin of... The origin
of the middle finger. The origin of the middle
finger gesture as an insult is debated, but it's
widely believed to have roots in ancient Greece
and Rome, specifically asleep to phallic symbolism
and used as a way to express insults, taunt,
or even mourn off evil. Though specific origins
are unclear, the middle finger has been documented
as a gesture of disrespected anger for over two
millennia. Your mama's so fat. She makes Godzilla
look like an etching figure. Hey there, slap
nuts. It's time for The Creeps Music News. Hey,
my little pumpkin seeds. This is Johnny Rohypnol
with your music news. The rock documentary Becoming
Led Zeppelin finally gets a long -anticipated
release date. Becoming Led Zeppelin will make
its debut Saturday, June 7th on Netflix. Kim
Thal. Guitars for Soundgarden was speaking about
their coming appearance at the 2025 Rock and
Roll Hall of Fame as a new inductee. Kim said
it was probable that they could play with a couple
of guest singers. I hope they pick well. Chris
Cornell had one unique voice. Rick Derringer,
guitar journeyman behind rock and roll Hoochie
Coo, passed away June 26. Derringer played with
Steely Gann, Sidney Lauper, and Alice Cooper.
He also produced six albums for Weird Al Yankovic.
He also enjoyed a prolific solo career. He was
77. Zach Starkey, former drummer of The Who and
Ringo Starr's son, says he was retired, not fired
from The Who, according to Roger Gultry. The
drummer was asked and confirmed they are on good
terms and great friends, and we always will be.
Today, May 27th, is the birthday of several noble
rock musicians. Sean Kinney, drummer of Alice
and James, he turns 58. And Eddie Harsh, former
drummer of the Pixies, is also celebrating a
birthday, turning 58 as well. The lead singer
of Susie and the Banshees is also turning 57
today. This is Johnny Rohypnol. That was your
music news. And remember, bar chords are bullshit.
Two douchebags and a microphone. I'm Mark in
Kansas City. beautiful and solidly diagonal arm
of Lake of the Oaks. Awesome. I have this email
here. It's a featured email, and we do featured
emails time to time, especially when it's something
that I really want to accentuate. And this guy,
Mark in Marshfield, probably Missouri, I would
think, down near Springfield. I would say, yeah.
I was just in Fair Grove the other day. Oh, hey,
he was right by you there. He was right next
door to you. Well, that was Saturday, but Saturday
I ran to Oklahoma, so I went further that way.
Yeah, yeah. So, Mark, get a lookout for that
Nissan Frontier. Frontier. Yeah. All right. White.
White. Big duck in there and a guy in his loincloth.
He has a big duck, a stuffed duck, hanging from
the ceiling of the truck. It's a huge duck. It's
a stuffed duck, and he's wearing a loincloth.
That's him. All right. I get pulled over quite
often because of the stuffed duck. Yeah, they
get pretty mad about that. But I just pull it
over so they can see. Yeah, they can see. I can
see out. Yeah. Rob has a skimmick, though. He
kind of gets his loincloth caught on the truck.
just so he can flash them, and they can't prove
anything. He's like, oh, man, that damn loincloth.
I'm sorry, guys. I didn't mean for you to see
that. So, anyhow. That's when they pulled me
out of the truck, because he does. Yes. All right,
Mark, do you still believe Johnny Dare will end
up at Fox, at the Fox? He said Fox, at the Fox,
101 to Fox. Haven't heard you comment on Rock
or Laszlo Mournings in a while. Just curious,
Mark in Marshfield. Okay, I'm thinking a little
bit different these days. I've listened to Laszlo
in the morning, and it made me chuckle a couple
of times. Anymore, that's all I can wish for.
Either the talent isn't there, or the parent
corporation doesn't like too much funny because
it offends little pussies, and then they go bitch.
They go to the advertiser. They hurt my feelings.
That can never happen. I can never have my feelings
hurt, ever. I'm a soft little bitch. Okay? So,
yeah. So, making me chuckle a couple of times
is about as good as it gets anymore because people,
you just can't have a cutting edge show except
maybe on the internet. Other than that, you're
not doing a lot of that stuff and that's how
corporations steered away from it is because
of that. So, I think that The Rock is not looking
for a top five or maybe even a top ten morning.
I think if they steady out in a three share or
a little bit better, they're good. And then,
you know, I think with a 3 .5 or something like
that, they could probably sell enough advertising
to make a little bit of money. And I think that's
probably all they're looking at, in my opinion.
But who am I? So I think that Laszlo and SlimFast
or whatever his name is, whatever they call him
nowadays, are doing okay. I think they're holding
their own. There's a lot of people that are like,
pissed at them because, you know, they got rid
of Johnny. But don't be mad at Laszlo. They need
a job, too. They need a job. Yeah, Laszlo's just
a guy like us. Yeah, yeah. Hell yeah, anyone
would take that job. So I think they're doing
well. He's changed his program around quite a
bit since it was on the buzz, which he needed
to. And it seems to me like they're getting better
and kind of growing with it. And we'll see what
happens. So, now, as for Johnny, I no longer
think he'll get the mornings over at the Fox.
Sparks and Jordan or whoever they are, I forgot.
One of them is Sparks. I know that. And whoever
the other one is. Yeah, Sparks is a guy. Yeah,
and then Jordan's a girl. Jordan's a girl. Okay.
Whatever it is, I think it's doing good. I think
it's probably maybe top seven, six. Yeah, yeah,
that's right. And then they teamed him with this
lady. You know, they seem to be doing pretty
good. People seem to like them, and they seem
to have enough advertisers and listenership,
and that's all they want. I now think it could
be a couple more years if Johnny's still around
KC and, you know, assuming he doesn't move or
take a job somewhere else or something. I think
if he's still around KC, he could land maybe
Doug Medlock's. You know, he might be looking
at hanging it up here in a couple of years. You
know, then in true one -on -one fashion, they
would hire Johnny only and put him there and,
you know, possibility as a backup if something
was to happen to the morning shift. So you're
looking at that. Doug Medlock is not getting
any younger. He's an old veteran. I mean, he's
still really good, but he's not going to want
to do that forever. And Johnny Deere would be
great in the afternoon, and they don't want his
whole morning crew. I can tell you that right
now. They don't want that expense. They want
the guy, the guy that everybody knows his name,
the guy that, you know, everyone sees with the
talent, you know, that's it. And that's what
they would do, and if Johnny wanted to go there,
then he could, but I'm pretty sure it would be
just Johnny in the afternoons. Or you're also
looking at Chuck Nasty. He's 70 -something. He's
about ready to retire. Yeah, I mean, look, they
both had great careers, but they're getting older.
Skid Rowdy hung it up. They don't want to do
this forever. They want to go enjoy their life.
I know they probably love what they're doing,
but still, you have to do it every day, and you
have to be around, and you have to prepare for
it. There's a certain amount of things that you
have to do. So I'm thinking... One thing to keep
in mind, Johnny is about our age. Yes. He's a
little bit younger and he could finish off another
15 years or so at the Fox. And like I said, the
Fox doesn't look at hiring a shitload of everybody
from a program. They're looking at hiring the
one guy that everybody knows. And that's what
they do. That's been their MO for a long, long
time. Cherry picking KY. All of that. That's
what I think is going on. I could be full of
shit, and I probably am. So, Mark in Marshfield,
thank you. And also, honestly, I got one more
thing I got to say here, and then we'll go to
you, Rob. Sorry. Okay. I think that Johnny needed
a reset anyhow. I still like this show. I still
enjoyed it. But I think that they kind of got
maybe a little stale. And I'm not dogging them.
They were still entertaining. But I think they
were kind of stuck a little bit, and I think
maybe they... Go ahead. So he was getting a little
burnt out, is what you're saying? Possibly, possibly.
And like I said, I could be full of shit, and
I probably am, but I think maybe the reset will
do him good, too. Go out, have a little fun,
don't worry about anything, then come back in
a year or so, and be energized, ready to go.
Yeah. Plan a different show, you know? Go, hey,
you know what? I'm going to go in this direction
now. I'm getting older, you know? Maybe not so
many dick jokes. You know, whatever. Whatever,
you know, I think it would be exciting to figure
this out and try to crack the code of Kansas
City Radio like he did for so long. So, that's
it. Rob, we turn to you. Alrighty. I'm going
to go into Mrs. Mary Lou Retton. Okay. Remember
her? Yeah, I sure do. Yeah, gymnast. Red hair,
I believe, right? Or reddish? Yeah. Yeah, yeah,
yep. Hot. Crazy hot. Olympic gold medalist Mary
Lou Retton was arrested earlier this month for
DUI in West Virginia. The former Olympian was
arrested in Marion County, West Virginia on May
17th for driving under the influence of alcohol.
controlled substances or drugs. According to
records posted online by the West Virginia Magistrate
Court System, Renton 57 is facing one misdemeanor
count DUI, and she has posted a $1 ,500 bond
on the same day of her arrest. Uh -huh. The gymnast
made headlines in 2023 when her daughters announced
Bretton had been battling a rare form of pneumonia.
They had the Olympic great fighting for her life
in a hospital ICU. Do you remember I reported
about? Yes, I do remember that. Yes. Bretton's
family asked for donations to a crowdfunding
site which raised $200 ,000 in a day. She was
eventually released from the hospital, and in
an interview on today, January 2024, she opened
up about the head scare. I am so grateful to
be here. I am blessed to be here because there
was a time when they were about to put me on
life support. She said in the interview. Wow.
And then it just goes on to how she's a household
name about the Olympics. Okay, well, if you're
grateful to be here, why are you getting pulled
over for a DUI and controlled substance? You
know, well, that's the whole thing right there.
Controlled substance. She wasn't in her right
mind. Especially Mary Lou Ray. I mean, evidently
that messed her up. Yeah, I mean, yeah. That
was Mary Lou Rett. She was like America, you
know. Oh, yeah, yeah. Well, a lot of the gymnasts,
I mean, and skaters like Nancy Kerrigan ended
up not having that good of a time. Tonya Harding
was a nutbag. Let's see. Yeah, Tonya Harding.
Yeah, Oksana Bayou was, had, I believe, a couple
DUIs and some, problems too i think a lot of
pressure is on them when they're younger and
it affects them later on in life like so many
things do like me and my general doctor were
talking about this morning your childhood affects
everything you do in life the way you grow up
i had a really good discussion with her and it's
true it's true a lot of stuff you do is based
on instinct that you learned when you were a
child whether it's cover up and Let them hit
you or hit them as hard as you can or run or
whatever. Everyone has their thing that they
had to do to survive. And we always go back to
it. You can break the cycle, but it's not easy.
Okay, Rob, was that it on the Mary Lou Red? Yeah,
that is it on Mary Lou. Okay. If I find out anymore,
I'll let you know. Okay, sounds good. Thank you,
Rob. This is entitled Trouble Brewing. Chat GPT
can perform many impressive tasks, sometimes
with amusing results, but it may need to stay
out of, they call it, tasiography. I don't know
if they made that word up or not, and you'll
see where I'm going with this. Greek City Times
reported, and that's where the tasiography comes
from, that would be a Greek word mixed with graphy.
I don't know if that's what they're trying to
do, if that's an actual word, look it up, whatever.
Greek City Times reported on April 26th that
a Greek woman recently filed for divorce from
her husband after the open AI chatbot asserted
that the man was having an affair and that his
mistress was intent on destroying their home.
A conclusion the bot came up with upon reading,
coffee grounds in the couple's mugs in a photo
okay greek coffee they leave the they leave the
grounds in the bottom and they're very superstitious
and they take this shit seriously okay um so
anyhow um he laughed it off as nonsense but she
took it seriously she asked me to leave told
our kids we were getting divorced and then i
got a call from a lawyer That's when I realized
this wasn't just a phase. The husband lawyer
maintains that the chat GPT claims have no legal
standing. I would think so. So, okay. As you
all know, I am the official Greek ambassador
for this program, right? Yeah. Okay. Greeks have
a superstition of reading your coffee grounds.
It goes back thousands of years. And like I said,
Greek coffee, if you ever get a real one, You
go to Tarpon Springs or New York or Chicago or
the places where they have concentrated Greeks
in one area, you know, Greek town of some sort.
You will get the real coffee that they serve.
I'm personally not a fan of it. It's really bitter
and they leave the grounds in the bottom of the
cup. Now their superstition is they can read
your future by this cup. They'll look at your
coffee grounds and go, oh, yeah, yeah, I see
you building a house. I see you getting married
and all this stuff. It goes back thousands of
years. It's a tradition of theirs. I think a
lot of them probably believe it. I don't know.
But anyhow, that's where this came from. And
I feel sorry for the guy. A fucking chat GPT
looked in his coffee and said all this, and the
woman believed it. Maybe he's better off without
her. You think? Yeah. Yeah? Yeah. Okay. All right.
Rob, we turn to you. That's all I got on that.
I don't know what else to say. Ridiculous. Okay,
well, I'm going to go back to the movie Rush
shooting. Okay. Another update on it. Okay. Anna
Gutierrez Reed, the armorer who was working on
the Western movie Rush, when the film's center
photographer, Elena Hutchins, was killed in an
on -set shooting in May 2021, was released from
prison for 13 months after a voluntary manslaughter
conviction, the Mexico official said. Uh -huh.
Is that time? Yeah, our time is up, dude. I believe
it. Go ahead, I'm sorry. In March 2024, Tara
Shreed was found guilty of involuntary manslaughter
in connection to Hutchins' death and sentenced
to 18 months. So she served 13. Uh -huh. Yeah,
that's about right, man. That's about right.
At the time, she was acquitted of a second charge
of evidence tampering. The parole board... Oh,
wow. Mm -hmm. And either getting a job or enrolling
in school. Okay. She done her time. Okay. Yeah,
she done her time. But who's going to hire her?
That's a good... I wouldn't. Would you? And getting...
She might have a chance in school, but... Still
with a... No, I know. Well, you know, okay, here's
what I think. I think someone will take a chance
on her just to say they rehabbed her, even though
she probably didn't really need rehabbing because
it was a horrible accident. I think someone will
give her a chance. I think someone will give
her a chance. Oh. All right. Thanks for the follow
-up. You said you're going to do a follow -up,
and I appreciate you doing that. Thank you. Yeah.
Okay. A lady said, I love Red Bull so much I
got a barcode tattoo. It even scans at the grocery
checkout. A Swiss woman is such a fan of Red
Bull that she reportedly got the energy drink
scan barcode tattooed on her skin, and it amazingly
works at self -checkout. A video of her utilizing
this functional body art has racked over 7 .9
million views on TikTok because people are idiots.
I was thinking about getting a barcode. I'm sorry,
I had to laugh. No, no, no, seriously. Yep, they
are. Yep, they're idiots. 7 .9 million views,
Rob, because a lady put a barcode of Red Bull
on her body. So, I think that, you know, I probably
didn't need to say that, but I did. So, okay.
I think people come to their own conclusion.
Like, people that, like, look at this are probably
not the sharpest tools. So, I was thinking about
getting a barcode tattoo for some time. The woman
named Dew told Jam Press of her drink -inspired
ink job. Coincidentally, the content creator
who goes by Mike Cringe. on social media was
initially thinking of getting a tat of broccoli
or something silly. Okay, but then decided on
Red Bull after thinking energy. Do reportedly
drop the equivalent of over $600 on the tattoo,
which features a barcode being chomped by a worm.
Okay, even more stupid. A barcode, but not just
a barcode Red Bull. A barcode being chomped by
a worm. I then added the worm, which is chomping
it up based on a little drawing my sister did.
Do explain to the body art, which invokes the
barcode -themed skull tattoo from the Hitman
games. You know, Tommy Lee was going to get a
barcode of heroin, but heroin doesn't have a
barcode. Yeah, it doesn't have a barcode, so,
yeah, allegedly. Hey, Hal, that's all I got on
that one. You want to keep going, or you got
something, or you want to shut down? That's about
all I have for tonight, brother. All righty.
Okay, everybody, thank you for listening. Ricky,
thanks for checking in. We appreciate that. I'm
glad everybody's doing well. Yes, thank you,
Ricky. Good to hear from you guys. Yeah, thanks
for sending us an email. I was thinking about
them the other day, too. I'm like, man, I wonder
if they're okay. It's good. I'm always thinking
about them. I'm glad they're fine. All of us.
Yeah. Yeah. Yep. So thank you, Ricky and Jimmy.
We hope you're doing okay, too. Hopefully you're
still listening and well. Yes. So I hope you
guys get some rain. And Grandma Opal. Yeah, Grandma
Opal is the best. We got to announce them. We
announced them lately. Oh, yeah, yeah. Grandma
Opal, we love you more than anything. You're
awesome. And Ricky, we love you more than anything
because you introduced your sweet grandma to
us. Thank you. And Jimmy, you're cool just because
you're in Dodge City and you listen to us. So,
everybody, thank you for listening. Good night,
assholes. Good night, assholes. Oh, no. Looks
like the show's over, kids. Mark has explosive
diarrhea and can't afford a wireless mic. Fear
not, assholes. They'll be back invading your
ear holes soon.