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douchebags and a microphone? Deep thoughts with
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until your mama got on it. Two douchebags and
a microphone. I'm Mark in the Kansas City vicinity.
Well, we are recording this a day late, and that's
because I had a two -day hospital stint, and
I thought it was heart disease, which I do have.
I have a couple of forms of it. That isn't an
issue so much right now, but it's going to be
an issue later. Right now, they think the culprit
is probably GERD or acid reflux. heart attack
-like symptoms yesterday morning, and all the
stuff that they told me at my cardiologist to
look for. And they said, if this happens, don't
fuck around. Call 911. Let us figure it out.
So I had Val call 911, and an ambulance came
and got me. And I went to St. Luke's South, which
is a fantastic hospital. They could not have
been better on any level. I mean, except for
the hospital food. It was not bad for hospital
food. I was just glad I got to eat because at
first they have on a liquid diet. I'm like, oh
man. But then they decided I could eat, which
was fine. So today I was spent doing tests like
an echocardiogram and a stress test. And yeah,
like I said, I have heart issues. And eventually
we're going to have to address them. I have heart
valve disease. I have no problems with saying
this because... It's true, and I really don't
have anything to hide. It sucks, but you know
what? Because of modern technology, I'm able
to probably live a pretty normal life in a lot
longer than I would have been able to before
because they have such advancements in all of
this level, from heart valve disease to basic
coronary blockage and all of that. and they've
gotten really good at this, and they've extended
lives, many lives for a long time, which I'm
going to go into a little bit of this right now.
This is a new kind of monologue that I came up
with because of my hospital stay, and this is
something I truly believe in. I thought about
it before, but now after witnessing it firsthand,
I think it really needs to be talked about. So,
Rob, are you ready? I want you to interject too,
Rob, okay? No, I want to say... Okay. Come on,
man. All right. Okay. Like I said, I pushed back
and chucked this monologue with, you know, usually
Rob set me straight, you know, whenever I got
something. So, you know, so Rob, if you think
I'm offline, like always, set me straight. So
I got out of the hospital and, you know, like
I said, I have a variety of heart issues. Dems,
I'm giving this one to you a little bit here,
a little bit to the Democrats, because it isn't
all, you know, like a Democrat push here. There
are independent people. There are also Republican
people and conservative people that are on my
bandwagon like this, too. I've heard from a little
bit of everybody and listened to a little bit
of everybody on this. So, you know, I have some
fantastic specialists. That are pretty much saving
my life and definitely prolonging it. Some specialists
are from other countries. From India. Impoverished
countries. Countries that do not have the educational
system that we have here. They have no way of
reaching their full potential. Because they don't
have the resources like we do over here. I understand
the government is wasteful. I understand that...
We need to cut all this stuff back, and we need
to watch where money's going. I understand people
are stealing us blind, and I understand people
in government are stealing us blind, but what
I'm saying is here, we have to be careful on
some of this stuff. Some of these specialists
that I met with and I talked to personally, they
came from meager backgrounds. These people...
are not people that you can just pick out and
say, hey, I want you to be a heart specialist.
Hey, I want you to be a brain cancer specialist.
Hey, I want you to do this. These are the only
people in the world that can do that type of
job. So if you go around cutting their funding
and they can't come over here and do that. You're
not going to have people helping people like
you do right now. You're not going to have the
people that are saving my life and prolonging
it. You're not going to have the people that
are helping people with cancer, muscular dystrophy,
multiple sclerosis. You're not going to have
these people because a lot of these people are
coming from other impoverished countries and
they do not have the resources to do this there.
And that's where we have to come in. And we have
to be able to identify these people and not cut
off funding blindly. We have to look. We have
to observe. We have to take a step back. We have
to look at what we're doing. We have to figure
out what we're doing. And I think on stuff like
this, if you have someone insider trading in
the government, go after them. They're pieces
of shit. They need to go to jail. But something
like this. You really need to watch what you're
doing. Because this right here affects everybody.
And not just in the United States, but everywhere
in the world. These people that can do this job
are the only people that can do this job. And
they're the only people gifted enough. And quite
frankly, a lot of them are not from here. I would
say a good percentage of them are from other
countries. And a lot of them are impoverished
and they have no way of fulfilling their true
destiny. without us. And that is all in my soapbox
that I wanted to put there. And that's what I
wanted to say and get my point across on. Please,
everybody, I understand all the ripoffs. I understand
the government. I understand the swamp. Drain
it all you want. But please be careful about
what you cut funding to. Because some of this
stuff is not only very important to me, but you
wait until someone in your family or yourself
has some sort of a health crisis. And there's
nobody there to help you. And the reason there's
nobody there to help you is because funding got
cut for it. We have to be very careful. And this
is not directed at anybody in general. I'm saying
this for all the government and everybody. We
can't blindly cut everything. We have to be careful.
So I'll go ahead and do some other stuff, Rob,
if that's okay. Go for it. Okay. How was your
weather Monday night? Oh, fine for me. Oh, really?
I mean, up to the northwest. I think it may have
rained overnight. So you didn't get any big storms?
No, no. Yeah, I heard there was a bunch of tornadoes
and stuff. No, it did not affect me. I know it
didn't. It was up... Tightwad got hit. One of
our favorite little places. Yeah, Taiwan got,
they didn't get smoked, but they got a good little
jolting there just on the edge of town. They
had an EF -1 go through there and do some damage.
They have some footage of some people that were
trying to go down, is that 7 or 13? No, 7 Highway.
And they almost got smoked by the tornado. So,
anyhow. Yeah, yeah, that area right there. Anyhow,
I had to go into work early. I got called in
early. I was supposed to get off at 6 .30. I
got off at 4 .30 because I had to go in two hours
early. So I was like, okay, I'm going to beat
the forecasted evening storms on the way home.
Well, they missed the evening part by a few hours,
and it was one hell of a drive home. I mean,
I was literally watching debris fly through the
air everywhere. I saw that many wind gusts were
75 to 80 mile per hour. The rain was so heavy
that the water was naturally pooling up on flat
surfaces. So, anyhow, Val's... Val's Jeep, mine
did not get any dents in it because I was at
work and the storm was bad, but not as bad as
it was here. Here, it could have been maybe a
small tornado very easily by some of the damage
that we could see. We had a lot of limbs and
big pieces of tree come down. It dented up Val's
Renegade a little bit, not as bad as it could
have. And my car was spared, my Jeep, because
I was at work. So, I'm coming home and there's
a lot of damage. You know Rock Hill Road, right?
And over there near UMKC? Yeah. Okay. Okay. Well,
there's a lot of trees, big trees in that area.
And there were a lot of trees down in that area.
And it just, I had to wait until it quit storming.
You know, I had to sit there and let it all calm
down because there's no way. that I could go
home in that with everybody else trying to get
home and the debris in the air and the hail and
the huge wind gusts and that whole thing. It
was just like, no, I'm going to sit here, and
I'm going to wait until it's done, and that's
what I did. So I'm coming home, and then I started
getting to my part of town, which is the extreme
southern edge of Kansas City vicinity, the metro
plaques. We are on the very edge of it. I started
noticing all the way through the city, nobody
was out there. All their trees are everywhere.
Nobody's out there. I get down here where there
are bigger lots and more of country folk. And
the storm hadn't cleared but like maybe 10 minutes,
15 minutes at the most. And they were already
cutting their trees up. They were already cutting
their debris up. That's country folk. They were
already out there with their chainsaws, cutting
everything up and getting it out of the way.
You know what I mean, Rob? You grew up in the
sticks, right? Yeah. As soon as that last lightning
bolt hits, you're out there cleaning it up, right?
You got the chainsaw out there, you got the rakes,
and you're taking care of it. And I was coming
down to my part of town, I'm like, yeah, yep,
this makes a lot of sense right here. You get
down here, and all of them were like, they couldn't
wait to have their chainsaw out there cleaning
up their lawn. I mean, you could tell that it
was like, all right, yeah, we... We have a little
bit more of a country flavor down in this part
of town. I thought that was pretty cool. Topher
and I are doing extra shows. We couldn't this
week because of my obvious issues. We're getting
emails from listeners and everything, and this
is about the music creeps and the sports bastards.
And I played you the other night. I played you
the new music news segment that I got going on,
right? Yes, you did. Okay. I loved it. I loved
it. Okay, good. Well, I'm going to start doing
some of that stuff, and I'm also going to start
doing some stuff like that on this program. I
don't know if it's going to be music news, but
I'm thinking about music news, but maybe not
quite the same in depth. that the music creeps,
because that's a music show. But, you know, that
is a music show for people that like music, and
it's usually our kind of music. We generally
talk about rock, classic rock, and hard rock.
We'll talk some country, and usually if anyone
talks country, we have Rob do it for us. Yeah,
yeah. Yeah, so if Rob's on, we talk country.
If not, we basically talk classic rock and hard
rock and rock. So, anyhow, we got a lot of emails
about people wanting us to do more produce segments
because those shows are recorded live up at the
city market. I mean live as in we're recording
them there and people are walking by. I don't
mean live as in we're like on the internet live
when we do it. Because that's another thing that
people got after us about is like, where are
you guys at? And it's like, well, this happened
two days ago. Well, you said you're live. Well,
what we meant by live is we meant we're up there
and people are walking by. That's what we meant
by live, you know. Yeah, yeah. I mean, come on.
You guys know us by now. We've been on the air
how long? Yeah. Yeah, so. Yeah, yeah. Well, they
haven't been doing this very much, but every
now and then I'll get a, hey, you know, I look
for you guys. But, okay. I'm going to do some
of that. I'm going to do some music news. I'm
thinking about doing a little sports news segment,
too. Maybe some roster moves, maybe some stuff
that we don't really discuss that much on the
regular show where, you know, Topher and I are
doing, you know, different stuff, talking about
other things. We're actually going to kind of
go into not stats, but, you know, actually talking
about how we think the teams are going to do,
how they're going to match up and, you know,
stuff like that. Sometimes we talk about the
betting lines. So I'm going to do something like
sports. Some sort of a, I don't know, sports
information of somehow, but I'm not quite sure.
And also, I want you to tell me what you think,
if we should do music news on this program, or
if we should do something else as a regular segment.
Okay, well, first up, before I forget. Okay.
You were talking about sports. Yes. I want to
know everybody's bet on where Aaron Rodgers goes.
Oh, you know, that's a good one. I want to start
taking bets. Come on, man. Okay. He's everywhere.
You want to hear my bet? I tell you, you'll end
up in Pittsburgh. I do, too, and here's what
I think. And you can tell me what you think.
Okay. He does not want to do mini camp. He doesn't
want to do training camp. He's old. He hurts.
He's 40. Been there, done that. You know, he's
in good shape. Do some more mushrooms, you'll
feel fine, Aaron. Yeah. And ayahuasca. Ayahuasca.
Whatever. Mushrooms, whatever you do, do it,
you'll feel better. Hey, I'm not an hallucinogenic
guy, but ayahuasca's got my eye. I'm like, man,
that stuff sounds pretty damn cool. But I think
he's going to Pittsburgh, and I think that they
have a deal set already. I think that they know
he's going to Pittsburgh. Yeah, I think they've
been heightened. Yeah, I think that they don't.
I think they're going to keep it up that low,
in my opinion. In my opinion, Aaron has such
a bad rap that I think he went to Pittsburgh
and said, I don't need any more bad publicity.
So how about if we not get the actual contract
cashed out until right before the regular season?
Yeah. Yeah, let's keep everybody's gas in. Yeah.
Yeah, that's what I think. Me, personally, if
I had to bet money, if someone told me, hey,
here's $300. You have to bet money on this. That's
what I would bet. That would be my bet. Aaron's
going to Pittsburgh. And I think it's because
he does not want to do mini camp or training
camp. And I think he already talked to them about
it and said, I don't need any more bad publicity,
so let's do it like this. And Pittsburgh said,
of course. So, Rob, what are you thinking? Oh,
just what I said. He's going to go with Pittsburgh.
I really do. Yeah, he may be looking at New Orleans,
and New Orleans would probably love to pick him
up. I think he's going to go with Pittsburgh.
I think the reason Pittsburgh... I think it's
been a done deal for a while. They're just keeping
it quiet to keep people guessing. Rob, I agree
with that. I also think that New Orleans is not
quite there. Rogers is 40 years old. Pittsburgh
was a playoff team. Why would he want to go to
a southern state where the weather is different?
That's another thing, too. That's a good point.
Actually, he'd be in a dome then. Yeah. He's
not used to that. He'd be in whatever they call
it now. It used to be the Superdome. Okay, I
think that New Orleans is not close to being
an actual Super Bowl contender. The Steelers
were a playoff team last year without really
a quarterback. Russell Wilson was on his last
leg. They had Fields. Justin Fields is not that
good. And I think with Aaron Rodgers, they could
actually become somewhat of a contender. And
I think that's what Rodgers is looking at. He
doesn't want to go waste his time spinning his
wheels in a team that's going to be 9 -7. Or
9 -8. He still has high hopes of himself. What
happens if he comes out first game again and
gets taken out for the year again? I would look
for him to... He's an old man. First off, I look
for him to cash his checks. When you get hurt,
you're going to stay hurt for a while. Yes. I
agree. We know this. I also think that he would
cash his checks and he would promptly retire.
After all those checks were cashed, he would
step down and retire. So, I think we're on the
same page then, right? We both think he's going
to go to Pittsburgh and pretty much for the same
reasons, right? Yeah, if he goes to Pittsburgh,
you know, it's to bring back his name, whatever,
in the northern states. And if he gets hurt,
Makes money. Yeah, yeah. Yep. Yep. I agree. All
right, cool. Rob, that's all I got for right
now. I got a bunch of other stuff, but it really
doesn't match up what I've been doing here and
the stuff I've been talking about. So, Rob, go
ahead. We'll go to you. Okay, I got one, and
we'll go to break, and then how about doing some
emails? That sounds good. Okay. of workers who
don't have any more sick days and risk losing
their job if they take off anyway. Perhaps you've
been in one of these situations yourself. A FedEx
worker in Alabama had to unfortunately experience
this when she thought... That's okay. I'm a little
off my game too, buddy. I think I got a little
cold in the hospital, too. Okay. No. Mm -hmm.
Babble snatch. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Uh -huh. Uh
-huh. No, Rob. You know why. Yeah, I do know
why, and also me, too, from what I just went
through. I mean, people at my job are afraid
to take off on day six, even though we are now
qualified. We have to work 30 hours for one hour,
basically. Thanks to the state of Missouri for
passing that law. Yeah, they just passed that
law earlier this year. I used to be that guy.
It should have taken me 240 hours to get one
day, particularly. Mm -hmm. Which is what, three
months, roughly? Yeah. You know, it's like this.
I use my vacation. I don't care. Okay, I'll put
it like this, Rob, and I feel like this truly
now. And you can tell me what you think or if
you agree with it. Okay. A place that really
cares about you will take care of you. Whether
they pay you or not is a different story. But
if you really do need that time off, they will
grant it to you whether you have it or not because
they care about you. Yeah, my company will. Yes.
If you're up there on the food chain, they will
take care of you. Yeah. You know, one of the
problems I have with my old job, the one that
I had for over 16 years there, and the reason
I feel so violated and feel so bitter about them
is because, to me, in my opinion, to me, in my
opinion, they acted like they were those people,
but they were not. You see what I'm saying? Oh,
yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, hey, how's your mom doing?
Hey, yeah, hey, how's that dog you pet? You know,
all this stuff. But when it comes down to it,
their wallet is much more important than you
have ever been. And you are not family. You're
simply pretty much their property. This is my
opinion. This is how I feel about that place.
I've never mentioned their name. I could, and
I could say my opinion, and I could do it all
day long. But I choose not to. They know who
they are, and if they hear this, I think they
would know exactly what I'm talking about and
exactly what you're saying, Rob. If the place
is the right place, if they give a shit about
you at all, they will honor you. They'll be like,
you know what? Well, like I said, with the new
state law, sick time, little companies like I
work for, whether they want to or not, they have
to supply it. Yes. I mean, you know, we get health,
we get dental, we get vision, we got an IRA.
You got to give us a sick time. I mean, you know,
we have kids that we take care of. You know,
we as humans get sick. You got to allow us off
without holding against us. I mean, we do. Because
my dad was a union steward for 20 -some years.
And I know you, if you are sick, a company cannot
hold it against you. Little companies that rule
USA do. Yeah, and here's the reason. They can
find a million different reasons. They can find
a million different reasons. You can come in
one minute late. Because the true fact in Missouri
is a company can fire you for any reason. And
it doesn't matter. That's just the law. They
can come up and go, you know, I don't like your
haircut. I watched a guy get fired because the
kid was in the ICU. That's fucked. And he had
his choice. No, he had his choice. Either stay
at work or leave. If you leave, you get fired.
Of course he left. I would have, too. And on
my way out, I probably would have had something
with somebody. And I ain't gonna say what company
that was with. You know what? Fuck them. But
still. Yeah. I mean, yeah. Yeah, there's companies
like that. Yeah. Yeah. Yes, there is. There's
a lot of companies like that. But then there's
good companies like I work for that actually
care about their employees. The company that
I work for, and I choose not to mention them
either because I don't know what their policies
are on... speaking about them. So I just won't.
But I love the company I work for now. They do
care about you. They care about their employees
deeply. And they treat us very well. Not only
with insurance, but compensating. Yeah, you do.
No, I mean, I probably could. I don't say anything
bad about them. I have nothing to say bad about
them, actually. But if I did, I still wouldn't.
Anything you say is good. Yeah, you know, the
old place when they let me go, they didn't know
they were doing me a favor. They were doing themselves
a favor. But it actually turned out to be the
best thing that happened to me in a long time.
And, I mean, things work out for a reason. And
that is classic. Classic. God had me. They did
not. But it worked out in my favor. Anyhow, you
know what? Let's take our first break. We're
going to come back with some emails because I
know you have something you need to talk about,
Rob. Yes, I do. All right. I've got to settle
something. Yeah, you do. Yeah, you do. We had
a little bit of banter and a little bit of people
jabbing. I thought everybody could rest tonight.
Yes, yes. This is finally going to get resolved
tonight. Hey there, slap nuts. It's time for
the Creeps Music News. Drummer Josh Freese has
been fired from the Foo Fighters. He said there
was no reason given, no names for a replacement
as of yet. The inventor of heavy metal guitarist
Tony Aomi has another recording with his dear
friend and former work partner Glenn Hughes.
They are both featured on British rocker Robbie
Williams' new single. Hard rock's ash metal band,
Kings of Thrash. Featuring former Megadeth members
Dave Ellison, Jeff Young, and Chris Polen recently
released a new single called Lockdown. This marks
a new project by these former Megadeth members.
Richie Cawson and John 5 announced a fall tour
of the U .S. John 5 also announces more details
about his highly anticipated new album scheduled
for release October 10th and led by his first
track, Flend, featuring Kenny Arnoff. Happy birthday
to Cher and Joe Conker on May 20th. They're both
300 years old. John Dalton of the Kinks, May
21st. He's really fucking old, too. And Morrissey,
May 22nd. He started Social Security last year
and expects to continue it. May 16th marks the
15th year since Ronnie James Dio lost his battle
with stomach cancer. Remember to give them the
loy corns, too. A passerby just for Ronnie. Ronnie,
us here at the Creeps and all your fans miss
you greatly. Your hologram captured your image,
but never your spirit. So you want proof that
we love you here at QD Spades and Microphone
Central? Here's a proof right here. How about
the drink of the week? Hey, all you drunk belly
dancers. This one's for you. This is a Butch
Wacker. This is from Norwegian Cruise Line's
Best Drinks. This is a chocolatey, delicious
drink. Thick. You can make yourself. It starts
out one ounce of rum. One half ounce Chocono.
Chocolate flavor liqueur. One half ounce of vodka.
One half ounce of Bailey's Iris Creek, one half
ounce of Kahula, and one half ounce of Amaretto.
Shake all together, put in a glass, and there
you are. Delightful, chalk woody goodness. Enjoy.
Hey there, fuckstick. You're just in time for
brand new feature news nobody gives a shit about.
A pet turtle named Sashi is thought to be the
oldest one in captivity at 120 years old. Why,
Whataburger, you say? Well, because what a deep
-fried crispy chicken nugget just didn't have
the right ring. Hi, all. This is Chicago. I am
the most dangerous city in North America. You
can't touch me. Oh, yeah? This is Kansas City
here. Hold my beer, bitch. Here in the Kansas
City vicinity. Oh, I'm sure it is. I can't wait
to get down there. The water is beautiful right
now. Oh, yeah. I will be down there eventually,
and we will do a podcast. Yeah, I'm getting ready.
I'm getting ready. Cool. And I'll bring some
equipment down there, and we'll do a podcast
right on the dock. How's that sound? Well, you
better bring a traveling. I do. I got one. I
got one. You got one we can go to? Okay. Well,
then we can do it anywhere. Hell, I could. Yeah.
I could get us in a business right here. That'd
be cool. All right. Give us some room. All right.
I'd love it. Yeah, I'd like to do some, I don't
know, restaurant or a coffee shop there. Just
go in there and do the podcast and do like we
do at the city market. Just have people come
up and talk. Oh, if nothing else, everybody up
here at Dollar General knows me. We'll go up
here at Dollar General. I think that sounds awesome.
Hell yeah. Two deuce bags of Micron live at Dollar
General. I love that. What's up? Right down the
street from Ozark Tampa Theater. Yes. I like
that idea for real. It sounds good. It really
sounds good. I like it. Okay, Rob. Other than
at Dollar General. All right. What's up? Rob,
you go ahead and go to yours first. We've had
a lot of requests for it, so please go ahead.
Okay. Well, now, I have had a lot of requests
for fishing guide services around Lake of the
Ozarks. Hello, guys. I'm with you. Well, I made
up a list, and I kept it in Tulsa King fashion.
I came up with seven. Awesome. Okay. I should
not have to fucking do this. Okay. I Googled
it. Oh, okay. Here's what I found on Google.
Okay. But I do have to admit, I did find my old
buddy Jack, and he is on the list. Oh, good.
Good. Lake of the Ozarks guy based out of Lake
Ozark. Cool. Lake Ozark. Okay, you have Camden,
you have the state beach, you have Lake Ozark,
Lake Ozark is a town. And actually it's in Miller
County, not Camden County. Okay. And it has a
five -star rating. Cool. Very cool. Then you
have my old neighbor, my old buddy, Jack, guide
service out of Osage Beach. And Jack does his
naked. He does it naked. He does his tour naked.
Right? No. Oh, he doesn't? Oh, I'm sorry. I stand
corrected. No, he ain't. Okay, okay. I'm sorry.
I heard wrong. On Google, he has a five -star
rating. Clothed. With a report of very knowledgeable
and willing to teach many aspects of fishing.
With clothing on. Yeah, with clothing on. Yeah,
he's not that kind of guy. Okay. Now, if I was
a fishing guide, it'd be a different story. Yeah,
yeah, you'd be naked. Or in a loincloth. You'd
be in a loincloth. No, you don't. Definitely
one call. Yeah. Which, by the way, is at the
dry cleaner right now. Oh, you dry clean it.
All right, good, good. Yeah, I don't want to
ruin it. Yes. Okay, next. We have Big Ed's Guide
Service out of Lake Ozark, and they have a five
-star rating. There used to be a Big Ed's at
Pomme de Tarre also. I wonder if that's the same
guy. You're right. There was. Yeah, there was
in Palme d 'Itar. I remember that. Hmm. He's
probably too old by now. Yeah, you know what?
You're right. Because that guy was around a lot.
This one is recent. You know what? You're right.
It'd be a different guy. Oh, and just so everybody
knows, everybody on this list has their captain
license. Good. They are registered, everything?
Yeah. Okay, next. We have Mike Dahl Fishing Guide
and Charter out of Eldon, Missouri. Okay. He
scored a five -star. Nice. Then we have Catchy
Ozark's Fishing Guide, Lake Ozark. They scored
a 4 .9 -star. Cool. And then finally, at number
seven, I had to say this one because this one's
an extra special. It's Lake of the Ozark, LOZ,
Faux Fishing and Adventure Charters. You're not
just fishing. You're boat fishing and different
types of fishing. Uh -huh. And they scored a
4 .9. Very nice. Okay. On Google. Like I said,
come on, guys, Google. Why do I have to do your
own work? Okay, here's what I think. I love you
guys a bit now. Rob, here's what it was. They
trust you because you live down there, and you've
lived down there for a while. I get it. I get
why they asked you. I would, too. I wouldn't
Google. Okay, that's good. Yeah, if I was going
to go down there... Okay. Cool. Very cool. You
want me to get to some emails? Okay. First one.
There's none of them that have to do with fishy
jerks. Nope, none of them. No, all of those.
I'll get the answer now. Yeah. The one that I
did, I told you already, got rid of because you're
answering it tonight. So, all right. Thank you.
Yep. Hey, guys. I have the new Fuckhammer cigars
with a cool Fuckhammer Zippo to boot. Would you
like to have the Fuckhammer podcast sent to your
email? Okay, I have to get back to sound check
here at Freeman Lake Jam 2025. Mitch, live at
the Freeman Lake Jam Festival featuring Fuckhammer.
Massey Creek Arm. Mitch, we love you. How much
further can he take this Fuckhammer thing? I
don't know. That's your thing. Hey. I'm like,
okay. Listen, it's funny, but I'm getting tired
of hearing the name, actually. Mitch, thank you.
We love you. Keep it up. Keep it up. We love
you. All right. Hey, guys, how about your seven
best guitar solos? Ronnie and Tulsa, the Tulsa
King. Next, I guess, next podcast. Sorry, I've
been in the hospital. I have not had a chance
to do much with these. All right. Okay. The seven
best guitar sellers. I'll take it. I'll take
it. Okay. Ronnie, thank you. We will have them
next podcast. All right. Mark, you talked about
the union and trade school a few times. How would
one get a try at the apprenticeship? I'm asking
for my son. He needs a good career to get the
hell off of my tit. Louie in Tennessee. I understand
you, Louie. Okay, look up whoever in Tennessee
around Kansas City is sheet metal number two.
It doesn't have to be sheet metal. You can probably
do the same with pipe fitters. You can probably
do the same with electrical. Call up. Ask him.
that your son wants to take the test and apply
to be in the union. They will teach him and pay
him at the same time and also provide him with
work afterwards. Yeah, I think that's a great
idea for him. It just depends on which one he
takes to. You know, I like the idea of sheet
metal. I like the idea of doing that and the
welding and all that stuff. He may like something
else. So, I would find out ironworkers are always
taking people because people don't like doing
that heavy of work. I mean, I used to do a lot
of ironworker work, and it is very taxing on
the body. And ironworkers, the last I knew...
Boilermakers, too. Boilermakers, as well. They'll
take you on the spot. I've known that. I've seen
that happen. As a matter of fact, I could have
joined them. You better be stout. You better
be ready to work. I could have joined the Boilermakers,
but you've got to be inside those boilers, and
all of that dust and the coal dust is horrible
for you. You can't be no punk. No. No, no, no.
Those guys shit muscles, I swear. And also, like
I said. I knew one. It's horrible on your body,
and it's very taxing. And for a lot of different
reasons, not only just lungs, but everything
else, because that coal dust. It's terrible for
you to breathe in. And a lot of times you cannot
wear a respirator. And also those little respirators
don't do much when you're inside a boiler working
on it. So tell your son to figure out what he
wants to do. Go to that union, apply, tell him
you're ready to learn. And I think he'd probably
get right in. All right, next one. Rob, what
is the material you use for your loincloth? I
want to wear one while I listen. Georgie in Oklahoma
City. Well, to be honest, I really couldn't tell
you. I special ordered it out of Africa. Okay.
I paid good money for it. Yeah, I mean, I paid
good money for my own cloth. They come straight
out of Africa. I hear it's Bengal tiger scrotum.
It's supposed to be like a Tarzan replica. Yeah,
I paid well over $1 ,000 for it. I mean, it's...
And Rob has such a huge penis, he had to have
extra. Yeah, he had to have extra material. I
don't know. You might be able to go to... Like
a... Somebody that makes a cow or sheep or something.
I don't know. Well, I think yours is Bengal tiger
scrotum, isn't it? Something like that. Something
like that, yeah. Or maybe Bengal tiger asshole
or something like that, yeah. But Rob had to
have extra long because he has a huge penis.
Oh, definitely. Yeah, the regular loincloth would
not hide it. Shannon will attach to that. Yes.
So, all right. All right. Greetings, gentlemen.
I'm waiting to maybe use some of your podcast.
You said too much time and not. I did. I know.
I know. I'm just trying to follow through. I
got a little bit of a cold, too. I caught it
from somebody. All right. Greetings, gentlemen.
I'm wanting to maybe use some of your podcast
to incorporate into my comedy channel, Internet
Station. I've enclosed information you will need.
Thank you for your time, Gerald Williams. Gerald,
yes. And Rob, I'll talk to you about it later.
Yeah, have you looked into it? Yeah, there's
a couple of wordings there that I don't like,
and I've got to go over with them, and I'll...
Okay, get with me later. Yeah, I will. It looks
good on... Well, thank you for your acknowledgement,
Gerald. Yes. We'll take it into consideration.
Yeah, if we don't do business with you, thank
you. But there's this stuff about... Your material.
Yeah. I did read in there where you have access
to our material. You know what? Forget it. We'll
talk about it later, Rob. And Gerald, thank you.
We will be in discussion with you. We do have
a third person that we have taken into consideration.
That's the other thing, too. I've got to talk
to Topher about it, too. There's two. We're three.
I sent Gerald a response, so we'll go from there.
Okay. Mark, I hear your coffee cake recipe is
off the hook. Please share. Bernie in Wichita.
Yeah, okay. It is called Little Debbie. You go
over there, and here is the best way to do it.
It's the best. Yeah. It's the best. You go there
to the store and you find the little Debbie section
of snack cakes. One of them will be coffee cakes.
What you do is you go up there and you purchase
them. And when you get home, now here's the real
trick, okay? Rob, you know this too, right? Open
the end up. Open the end up very carefully so
you don't hurt any of the packages or smash them.
Okay? And make sure you put them on top of your
bag of groceries. You have to make sure you do
not smash them. And then you open them up, and
you take the bags of them. They usually have
two of them in a bag, and there's like four or
five of them in a box. You put them in the refrigerator
on top of stuff to where they don't get smashed
either. Another very important tip. You take
them, and when you open up the package, be careful
not to smash them again. You eat them, and that's
it. Rob, you got anything else to add to that?
Yeah, I have something to add to that. Okay.
Like a late night snack. Mm -hmm. Open that little
wrapper. Put it on a little plate. And throw
it in your microwave for like 20, 25 seconds.
And add butter on top. Rob for the win. Rob for
the win. Yes. Just smear a little butter on top.
Take your microwave for 20, 25 seconds. You have
yourself one hell of a night time snack. Why
do people even ask me? Just ask Rob. I don't
know. I'm telling you. Just ask Rob. You'll get
a better answer. Trust me. My time smash is my
kind of deal, dude. See? No. Hey, how... Oh,
okay. And here's the last one. And I got it.
I call bullshit. We can go to one of your stories
and I'll come back and do the I call bullshit.
And then we have a Jeffy X a little bit later
if we have time to get into it. Okay. I don't
know how you feel about this, Rob. I went ahead
and put it in here. It says, Rob, do you drink
whiskey ever? Terry in New Park, Nevada. I don't
know why he didn't ask why he asked that. I don't
know why he needs to know that. know I'm a drinker.
Even though I am watching, I'm not what I used
to be. Okay, that's good. I think the show proves
that. Honestly, not really. Okay, when I was
younger, I used to drink a hell of a whiskey.
At one point, In my 20s, I was drinking a case
of Bud Long Neck and a half pint or a pint of
Jack at night. Every night. I was on a work night,
too. Oh, okay. I was young, I was single, I was
burning it up. I was working my ass off, yeah.
I had money. I was living it up, party. But now
that I'm... Of course, we all do. Oh, yeah, yeah,
yeah. No, when I was younger, I was a whiskey
drinker. Now, if I drink anything hard now, like
if I was stopped by a gas station and by a shot
or something, I would go with the pickle vodka
shot. Cool. It tastes like pickle juice. That
does sound delicious. Yeah, and like down here,
I don't know about up there, but down here, all
the gas stations sell them. They're just like
the little airplane bottles of pickle vodka,
and then they'll have the spicy vodka. Yeah,
that sounds good. That actually, you know. Yeah,
yeah, and it gives a little kick. Cool. That's
about as hard as I get. Other than that, I'm
kind of weaning myself off Natty Light. I'll
have some beer. I've actually been drinking Chiladas.
Budweiser, Chilada, All Boys, you know, the Pente.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, the Pente. I like that
bite. Yeah. I've been drinking two or three a
night. All is good. So that's four to six beers
a night. I actually think I'm doing good. Good.
And things I'm doing all right. Okay. Even though
she'd like to see me better, but my girlfriend
wouldn't. Yeah, yeah, yep. So I'd like to see
myself better. But since I'm down to, instead
of 12, 15 nannies a night, I'm down to three
or four. four geladas. That's pretty damn good,
dude. That is good. Good. Good, Rob. I'm glad
to hear that. Okay, do you want to do an I Call
Bullshit here real quick, or what do you want
to do? I love it. I love it. Okay, alrighty.
Here I go. I'm getting ready to go to an I Call
Bullshit. Oh no, it looks like someone's on their
high horse again. It's another episode of I call
bullshit. Bullshit. Okay, now, we talked about
this before the show, everybody. Uh -huh. He's
not going to go over the line. No, I'm telling
you why I'm calling bullshit. Yeah, this is my
personal opinion about it, and you're welcome
to think different. Okay. I have to take a minute
to call out politics today and how much bullshit
it really is. So, Joe Joe Biden has stage four
prostate cancer. You mean to tell me that the
powers that be didn't know this? With the constant
health tests they're required to have? Plus,
even more so, that guy could have been president
if he didn't obviously have some sort of confusion
and diminished mental capacity that he was dealing
with during the debates. So, yeah, go ahead.
Okay. Okay. They obviously had to have known
this. In my opinion, I don't know how they could
have not known this. They hid it, just like the
diminished mental capacities that he had. And
listen, I'm not saying anything bad about Joe
Biden. He's old. We all are going to get like
that one day if we live long enough. We're going
to have confusion and not be sharp and miss things
and forget things. It's natural. Your body breaks
down. I believe I have answers. Okay. So to me,
the win is more important than the security of
our nation. I'm calling bullshit on the Democratic
Party because of this. Rob, go ahead. Okay, well.
I mean, today and yesterday, I've been reading
reports about exactly what you talk about, about
Joe Biden's health. Yep. And he supposedly got
cancer, blah, blah, blah. Well, Mr. Donald Trump
is bringing it up. And other, I don't know, there
might be some Democrats involved, too. Joe Biden's
wife should have known this shit when he was
in office. For a late delay. They're calling
it a late delay. Yeah. He should have been diagnosed
with this shit a long time ago. But it's like
at the cover up. Yeah. We don't normally go into
politics. This one was so obvious. I want to
get into a politics show. We will. We will. We're
going to have to. Yeah. I mean, if this is correct,
Joe Biden with his wife was hiding his medical
records while he was in office. That is horrible.
That's horrible. Yep. Horrible. I mean, I don't
know how he could have been. Yep. Yeah, my opinion
too. And look, we're not taking a stance on either
side. I'm telling you exactly how I see this.
And I call bullshit on it. You can disagree with
it all day long. Isn't that America? Okay. All
right. Thank you, brother. All right. You want
to take our second break? You want to come back
with a story? And then I got Jeffy X. Sounds
good. All right. We'll be right back. Harambe
used to listen to our original show, Two Dipshits
and Cheek Radio Shack Realistic Tape Recorder.
Harambe does not listen to our original show,
Two Dipshits and Cheek Radio Shack Realistic
Tape Recorder anymore. You might ask why Harambe
never listens to our original show, Too Dipshits,
in a cheap Radio Shack realistic tape recorder.
Well, it's because Harambe is dead. Senselessly
murdered because some idiot did not watch her
child properly while looking on her phone. Sadly,
Harambe does not listen to our original show,
Too Dipshits, in the cheap Radio Shack realistic
tape recorder, or any other show. Anymore. Sorry,
Harambe. Oh, shit. What's that over there? It's
the island of horrible jokes. I asked my date
to meet me at the gym. She didn't show up. I
guess we're not going to work out. Yes, it's
true. Mark is an old bastard. It's also true
that Mark uses a lot of ibuprofen. But Mark would
like to tell you, if you see any pictures of
him roofing ibuprofen, it's obviously fake, and
you're to take the pictures and tear them up
immediately. Our constant pursuit for a real
knee slapper. It's strange insults from an alien.
Real hilarity. If you were a spice, you would
be flour. Please remember to go to Cole's dressing
room, wait five minutes, and scream, Hey, there's
no toilet paper in here! Two douchebags and microphone
in an effort to keep everything fresh. We offer
you... First world problems. Damn it. I can't
decide between nachos, chili... Or wings for
the game tonight. This is bullshit. I should
not have to make decisions like this. Have you
ever wondered what something is or not? Have
you ever looked at something and said, Hey, I
wonder what the origin of that is? Well, so have
we. That's why we give you The Origin of. This
is the origin of the Big Mac. The original Big
Mac sauce was created in 1968 at a McDonald's
in Pittsburgh by a franchise owner named Jim.
Delicati, to serve with the Big Mac itself. The
sauce first came in two different flavors, but
then they were ultimately combined by McDonald's
head honcho Ray Kroc in 1972 in order to ensure
consistency. Now it's time for pickup lines from
a loser. Hey girl, are you a beaver? Cause damn.
The apocalypse just happened. You don't know
what to do. You don't know where to go. But we
can tell you what you can eat. Dandelion can
be stewed with wild mustard and wild garlic for
a very tasty stew. You could even introduce our
old friend the hickory nut for a bit of smoky
flavor. Once again, it's time for Ramblings of
a Madman. I believe Congress needs to synchronize
tap dance for 20 minutes before each session.
That needs to happen. Two douchebags and microphone
on Mark on the extreme southern edge of the Kansas
City metroplex. And I am Rob on the beautiful,
nightly arm of Lake of the Ozarks, and this is
about to become Memorial Day weekend, and I want
to remind everybody, be safe. Yes, don't do like
you normally do. It's Memorial Day weekend, cops
are out, watch yourselves. Yes, yes. Rob speaks
the truth. He lives down there. He sees this
shit. Especially if you're on the water. Yep.
We have many boat wrecks. We have all kinds.
A lot of things I don't report about because
I don't want to get that kind of English. That's
cool. Yeah, that's good. That's good, Rob. I
understand that. All right, Rob, you got something
you want to go into? Yeah, I do. A Missouri man
who was wrongfully arrested for a DWI was, while
he was exhibiting symptoms of a stroke, is suing
Sheriff's Office for not getting him to medical
treatment he needed. Okay. In a complaint filed
in federal court in April, Paul Espinoza, 54,
Planned that while he was arriving at the parking
lot of an Amazon warehouse in Republic, Missouri,
where he worked, he was pulled over by Greek
County Sheriff's deputy. I'm not going to mention
the name. Okay. Planned that Espinosa's car was
weaving, and the deputy suspected him he was
driving while intoxicated. Espinoza agreed to
a built sobriety test, including a brutalizer
test, which yielded a reading of 0 .000%, indicating
there was no trace of alcohol in the system.
However, Espinoza showed signs of swaying during
other parts of the test. The officer arrested
Espinosa on suspicion of DWI. Okay, I get it.
Yeah. It's not being legal now. I get it. I do
too. Espinosa. Okay, so this is the story. Okay.
Espinosa was put in the back of the patrol vehicle.
Uh -huh. Uh -huh. Condition continued to deteriorate
according to the complaint. A minute after his
arrival, Espinoza began to lose his balance,
his speech, and began to slur, and he became
confused with simple instructions. According
to the lawsuit, all these symptoms became more
pronounced. Espinoza was brought to a healing
cell. where he remained until two officers noticed
he was slumped over. A nurse was called in and
asked Benoza if he knew what was happening, and
he allegedly replied no. She took his blood pressure
and heart rate and reported his pupils were sluggish
and non -reactive, according to the complaint.
Benoza was then left alone in the holding cell.
Wow. Okay. He remained at the jail for a total
of seven and a half hours until 2 a .m. when
he was escorted by a courtesy car driven by a
booking officer to a nearby hospital for unstable
health conditions. When Espinoza arrived at the
hospital, the booking officer allegedly lied
to the hospital staff. Saying the police found
Espinoza in his car in a parking lot. And the
police did not feel that he looked right and
was having trouble speaking when they tried to
talk to him. I spelled staff diagnosed Espinoza
with a cerebral stroke. You heard me. He was
not drunk. He was not on drugs. Uh -huh. Caused
by the intentional denial of the part of the
Green County Sheriff's Department, I hate to
say it, Southern Missouri. Okay, I know where
that's at. Suing the sheriff's office for medical
negligence and deliberate indifference. His wife
are asking for a jury trial and punitive damages.
Okay, I get it. I get it. I get it. I do, too.
This guy's having a damn stroke. They're accusing
him of a DWI, even though he blew a 0 .000. Uh
-huh. And then his conditions over seven and
a half hours kept deteriorating. That's the thing
that got me. Seven and a half hours, and he's
getting worse, and he's sweating profusely. Don't
you think they would have at least had... like
some sort of a medical technician, check him
out. I think I agree with him 100%. You tell
me, being the police, they couldn't call an EMT
over there and go, hey, we think we got a guy.
He may have a medical problem. Can you just come
check him out and evaluate him? They would have
done that completely different. Yeah, whatever,
but... That's why they're sweating and he's saying,
you know, hey, I got a medical condition here.
That's why they should have did things properly,
but they did not. So I think they opened him
up, sir, and lost him. Wow. To me, that's kind
of unforgivable. I know. I know. It's going to
be interesting to listen to this back. But you
know what? Sometimes you've got to get a little
real, right? Let's lighten it up with the Jeffy
X. We can do that every now and then. You know,
we're not all dick jokes. We are grown -ups sometimes.
Yes. No, there's something else going on. To
me, there's no excuse for him. I agree. There's
no excuse for them not getting a medical technician
out there to check him out. No excuse. All right,
let's lighten this up, Rob. Yeah, let's do that.
Okay, we got a Jeffy X. I have a Jeffy X here,
but it's going to be a company. That should do
it. That should do it. Yeah, Jeffy X is on the
backside of this story that I have here, and
this is why he come up with his list. A couple's
gone viral for their unique wedding invitations,
and people are eating it up. When Jasmine Reyes
and her fiancé Miguel Soto were wedding planning,
they knew they wanted to do something novel for
their invitations. I wanted the experience of
a wedding to start with the invites, and we wanted
something more unique than just paper, Reyes
shared on TikTok. I would get invitations that
are paper, and I would kind of toss them out
and forget about them, and I feel like it's such
a waste of resources. So with the help of design
company Bridal Brand Book, the couple sent their
guests loaves of bread with daniel bakery and
manila as their wedding invite and the designer
really rose to the occasion each invite was a
tall loaf of white bread stamped with a couple's
wedding logo on the side and wrapped in plastic
so the logo was visible each invite was a tall
loaf of white bread stamped with a couple's wedding
logo on the side and wrapped in plastic to where
the logo was visible. Like I said, it repeated
it here. The wedding information typically included
an invite, such as date, venue, dress code, and
how to RSVP and a QR code to the website. We
were printed on the cardboard component of the
package. This went over really well. People loved
it, which leads to Jeffy X's list here. Well,
Jeffy X heard about this list and, well, He came
up with a list of edible failures. Can you believe
that, Rob? Edible failures? Yeah, because...
It should be good. Yeah, this edible worked.
You know, the edible bread and the wedding invite,
it worked. But there were a lot of ones through
trial and error that did not work. So I'll get
right to it. Edible hand grenades. Was it dud?
I bet it would be. I bet it would not be a dud.
Yes, exactly. Yeah, it failed. I'm not sure how
many people survived, but the survivors said,
no, we don't like them. So they turned it down.
If there was any, that's why they turned it down.
Yeah, but should I give the story of Jeffy X
first? If you think you have to, go for it. All
right. Jeff the X is our sleuth. He goes into
companies, and he finds failures. He finds they
do these focus panels and tests, and he finds
stuff that failed, like this. He's done this
for us for a long time. He's risked his life
for us. He's been shot at. He's been thrown in
prison, everything. And we love the guy, and
he will not quit. He will go to no end to find
these lists that people have thrown away and
did not want people to see. So Jeffy X is our
buddy, which led Rob to... And thank you, Jeffy.
No, I'm just saying. Right out of the gate. Thank
you, Jeffy. You're keeping my life busy right
now. You know what? You know what? In it, we're
sure that Jeffy X doesn't need it, but Rob cares
about him so much, he put in a pouch on the inside
of the underwear where you could put a sock and
maybe look a little bit, you know, beefier to,
you know, women and maybe some gay males might
like that too, whatever, you know. And he did
that for him, but we're sure that Jeffy X doesn't
need any help down there. And it's called a Steven
Pearcy pouch because supposedly Steven Pearcy
of the glam band Rat used to have a pouch on
the inside of his spandex pants that he would
fill in full for the audiences. You know, a couple
of socks. He walks out there. Hey, hey, hey,
look at me. Look what I got. Okay. So then he
also, Rob made him a flying bat suit, which he
loves. But the main thing is a Sergeant Pepper's
outfit, the white outfits on Sergeant Pepper's
album. And Jeffy X is the biggest Beatles fan.
And the problem is that he will not take off
that white suit. He loves it so much. He puts
a flying bat suit over it when he's in disguise
to get into these companies. He wears it, but
he puts something over it as a disguise. He will
not take it off. And it's just horrible. It smells
horrible. It's all black now. And Rob is making
him some new ones in hopes that he can get him
to take off that Sgt. Pepper's outfit. Seven
outfits. One for each day of the week. Which
is pissing Shannon off because it's taking up
all my time. Yeah, I remember you telling me
about that. It's causing a little bit of flack,
but you feel that Jeffy X is such an asset and
such a good friend of ours that you have to do
it. She understands. She is part of the podcast.
She knows it means a lot to me. Yes, yep. Damn
it, Jeffy. Come on, man. I'm giving you one a
week. Not one a week. One a day or a week. You
got to change them. You got to change them, man.
Just being a friend. Just being a friend. There
you go. So, the second one was... Pacemakers.
Edible pacemakers failed big times. It turns
out that after I ate the pacemakers, you know,
they still needed one. And, you know, their heart
was having some problems. And, well, they ate
their pacemakers. That didn't go over so well.
I think I can see a lot of them. Anthony Hopkins.
Yeah, yes, he would love it. So, the next one
was edible dentures. Well, you know, after they
ate their teeth, that left them toothless, so
they couldn't eat anything else. So that one,
of course, failed, and I can see logic in that.
What about you, Rob? Do you agree with that?
Yeah, just make them like candy necklaces. Yeah,
there you go. Just eat them. Yes, but have a
backup. That way you're not, you know, without
dentures. The next one is edible pot. in insurance,
but hey. There's that. Edible Podcasts. They
tried our show and vomited for hours. I didn't
write this, Rob. Okay, maybe I did. I never listened
to Apple Podcasts, so I can't tell you. No, I'm
talking about our podcast. I said Edible Podcasts.
They tried our show and vomited for hours. Rob,
I'm sorry. I haven't vomited. Me neither. But,
you know, that's what they say. The next one.
Yeah, me too. I got a little dizzy and got a
little, you know, a little woozy feeling. But
I've never actually vomited during our podcast.
And I'm very proud of that. I did on a cruise,
but not on a podcast. All right. Edible footballs.
Yeah, that's different. Edible footballs. The
offensive lineman kept eating the ball before
it was hiked. I think I can see that. I can see
that. Yeah, I can see that. My boys are hungry.
Yeah, yeah. I mean, they're big guys. They need
to. I mean, you know, I'm sure Biggin, we salute
you Biggin in the sky now in the great beyond,
Biggin. You probably ate a few footballs yourself
after you bet someone's nuts, right? May you
rest in peace, Biggin. Even though I did not
know you, I hear so much about you. Biggin, you
are a legend around this podcast. You are a legend
around this podcast. That meningitis is bad shit.
All right. The next one is edible Facebook profiles.
Everyone was taking their selfies of them eating
their Facebook profiles. So, I think I get that.
Yeah, they're sitting there. Everybody takes
pictures of their food. So, yeah, I guess they
take a picture of me in their profile. Yeah,
I got it. Next one is edible coffee mugs. The
coffee kept scald in the eater's mouth. So, I
get that. I get that. Edible wall paint. Did
not go over well. Blue paint was the tastiest.
Oh, come on. I don't make these. Jeffy X, you
can talk to him. He's the one that's got these.
So, I guess blue. Come on, if you can sniff paint,
you can eat paint. Come on. I agree, Rob. I agree
100%. But, you know, these focus panels, we don't
know who they are. You know, I mean, they might
have got a bunch of misfits. We don't know. Actually,
they're probably higher up on the food chain
than we are. That's very possible. It doesn't
take a whole lot sometimes. So, all right. Well,
the edible paint, blue paint, was the tastiest,
so they kept running out of blue, so they decided
to scrap it. Blue paint sounds great, doesn't
it? All right. Edible mousetraps. It left a lot
of sore tongues. I think so, too. I think I agree
with that 100%. I don't think I would want to
eat my mousetrap. Especially not if it's loaded.
Okay. And then finally, edible microphones. Jelly
Roll kept running out of mics. Sorry, buddy.
I can see that. I can see that. Sorry. Sorry,
Jelly Roll. I love you, Jelly Roll, but I can
see that. Yep. Anyhow, Rob, we turn it to you.
awfully light -headed. I didn't get a lot of
sleep. I could see where you started singing.
It looks like a bear call. Yeah. Yep. I guess
he had a lot of microphone -looking cakes. Let's
move on. Yeah, we'll move on. With 15 years of
experience rocking out on stage in front of fat
crowds, The members of Iron Maiden have dealt
with all kinds of disruptive audience behavior
during concerts. But there's one thing they're
apparently not willing to deal with anymore.
So if you're going to an Iron Maiden concert,
get ready. Okay. In a statement shared to X on
Tuesday, May 20th, Iron Maiden's manager, Rod,
Good. Uh -huh. The amount of phone use nowadays
dimensions enjoyment, particularly for the band
who are on stage looking at the rows of phones,
but also for other concert goers. We feel that
the passion and involvement of our fans at shows
really makes them special. But the phone obsession
has now gotten so out of hand. It has become
unnecessarily distracting, especially to the
band. Fans understand this and will be sensible
in severely limiting the use of their phone cameras
out of respect to the band and their fellow fans.
Smallwood went on to say that the band would
very much like fans to be in the moment and not
in... Enjoy each and every one of these classic
songs in spirit. And man, they were first played.
Cool. I agree, man. I do too, 100%. I wish more
bands... People are taking pictures on the phone.
People are recording the concert, which is illegal,
by the way. Yeah, it is. You're right. So it
distracts the band. I see it. What I hate is
you're sitting there in the crowd, and some idiot
has their phone way above him, and all you can
see is their fucking phone recording the artist.
And it's like, dude, get that fucking thing down
so I can see. I don't want to see your phone.
I paid to see them in person, not on a fucking
phone. I take like three, four, five pictures
at first, three or four or five pictures in the
middle, three or four or five pictures in the
end, and that's it. The rest of the time it stays
in my pocket. Yeah. And also you have some memories,
you know, look through them later. But yeah,
that's what I do too. Yeah, the rest is my memory
at the time. Mm -hmm, exactly. And that's uninterrupted
memory, not constantly grabbing your phone because
you like the song or the lights going off or
something, you know. The only reason why I grab
my phone is because that way I know where it's
at, you know. Me too. It's still in my pocket.
Yep, same here. I didn't lose it. I do that,
too. I do a wallet. I got to have a podcast.
I can't lose my phone. Can't lose it. I check
my wallet and I check my phone at concerts because
too many people are close together. Yes. Yes.
All right. Well, Rob, you know what? I am really
worn down. Like I said, you know, I've been in
the hospital. Yes. I think I'm ready to call
this quits if you're cool with that. No, I'm
good. Yeah, I got to work tomorrow. Okay. And
I don't blame you. We will come back this Sunday
with a brand new podcast and a lot more stuff.
And hopefully we will have Ronnie and Tulsa,
the Tulsa Kings list of seven of the best guitar
sellers. But one thing, Rob, I got a question.
Didn't he ask us that before or not? Am I wrong?
Okay, okay, okay. I'm glad you brought that up.
Because I almost bet I could go through my notebooks
and find that. That's what I thought. I know
we've done that. I know we have done that. Okay,
yeah. If you want to. Okay, yeah, let's just
do some new ones. I'm glad that you felt the
same way. I do remember that. I do remember us.
Yeah, I mean, it was when we were getting into
our music thing. Yeah, that's what I thought.
Maybe he just forgot. But anyhow. We did solo.
Yeah, we did everything. That's what I thought.
You know what? We'll do it again. We'll do it
again. Let's do it again like that. Yeah. Well,
in Ronnie's defense, he's had a lot of stuff
going on. And I think he's just trying to come
up with... I understand, brother. Yeah, I mean,
and he's in the middle of like three... My life
is going out to sell. He has three really big
trips. He doesn't want me to tell his stuff,
of course, and I'm not going to. I love the guy.
No, no, no. I can tell this much. He's had three
big trips in a row, and he's got another one
coming up, and it's been distracting his time.
I understand. So, anyhow, Ronnie, if you did
have us do that before like we thought, we're
going to do it again. No big deal. We love you.
Actually, I think it was one of our own lists.
Oh, we did it. Ronnie, I'm sorry. It was that.
It was like when we first started going. Okay,
then he probably didn't even hear it, so I apologize,
Ronnie. I apologize 100%. Oh, no, no. That gives
us a chance to revamp it. I love it. Okay, good.
All right. Because I have some new ones. All
right. Ronnie, I'm sorry that I ever thought
that you'd send us the same list twice. So, all
right. Everybody, I have got to get off here.
Love y 'all. Thank you for listening. Our numbers
are way, way up, dude. I cannot believe. Suddenly
we've got a whole bunch of... I have not even
looked. We've got a shit ton of new listeners.
I just want to keep doing it. Me too. I don't
care. California... Kansas City has always been
a huge market for us, you know, our hometown.
But California is going berserk right now. I
don't know why we suddenly started hitting there.
I know we did... We made the front page of iHeart
and another service. Maybe Stitcher or something.
Odyssey. Oh, Odyssey. Okay. We made the front
page of a couple of them, and I think that really
helped, but it really boosted our California
numbers, so thank you. L .A., Fremont, Anaheim.
A couple in NorCal. So, thank you guys. So, all
right. I got to get off here. I got a buddy in
SoCal. Okay. All right. Everybody, thank you
for listening. We appreciate you. Good night,
assholes. Good night, assholes. Oh, no. Looks
like the show's over, kids. Mark has explosive
diarrhea and can't afford a wireless mic. Fear
not, assholes. They'll be back invading your
ear holes soon.