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Here at Two Douchebags and a Microphone, we don't
stand behind our journalistic integrity. Go ahead
and assume we got the story wrong. At least we
admit it. Not like all those other guys, we can
and will lie if it makes the story better. Two
Douchebags and a Microphone. Oh Lord, that man
just sawed a puppy in half. Hey there, don't
worry. I have a clown nose. Oh no! That drunk
guy just hit my child! It's okay. I have a clown
nose. Clown nose. Just put one on and you can
do anything. Want to run for office? Murder people
in public? Just grab a clown nose and bam, everyone
laughs. Clown noses are sold at gag stores online
and pedophile conventions. Grab one today and
make magic happen. Have you ever wondered what
something is or not? Have you ever looked at
something and said, hmm, I wonder what the origin
of that is? Well, so have we. That's why we give
you the origin of the origin of knee -high soft
drinks. Claude Hatcher overheard a route salesman
enter the plant one day and described the competitor's
tall bottle as being knee -high. Knee -high originated
with the Cherro Cola Company in Columbus, Georgia
by Claude A. Hatcher in 1912. When everything
is coming your way, you're in the wrong line.
Hi, all. This is Chicago. I am the most dangerous
city in North America. You can't touch me. Oh,
yeah? This is Kansas City here. Hold my beer,
bitch. Oh, hey, look at the time. It's time for
the crazy -ass word of the day. Hey everybody,
this is Uncle Rob. I'm going to give you some
tips for life. This is Uncle Rob's rules to dick
pics. Rule number one. Type of a pic in someone
else's name. So if you get busted, it's all yours.
Two douchebags and microphone. I'm Mark, here
in the Kansas City vicinity. And I am Rob at
the beautiful angle arm of Lake Avila. That's
right. It is beautiful, and it's getting ready
to be even more full of boats, isn't it? Memorial
Weekend is rapidly approaching. Oh, that Memorial
Day weekend is when hell breaks loose down here.
Oh, yeah. Yep, hang on. I'm trying to get the
levels just right. I think that's about right
there. So if I sounded preoccupied for a second,
that was going on. But Rob, we need a moment
of silence, please. I had an old friend message
me and inform me that Big and the Ball Biter
has left this earth. I wanted to have him on
here. I seriously wanted to interview him. From
my understanding is he had a short bout with
some sort of viral meningitis, and it smoked
him quickly. I'm sorry to hear that. Well, I
wasn't really fond of the guy, but I didn't want
him dead. I mean, you know. You're right, you're
right. Yeah. So, Biggin, don't be chewing on
someone's bag in the great sky. I'm pretty sure
that would be forbidden. Don't you think, Rob?
They might get a kick out of it. They probably
all got together and said, You've got to break
the monochrome. They'll go, Hey, come here. Is
that the ball -biter guy? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's
him right there. Oh, wow. He looks different
than I thought. I can see that. Go bite Moses.
Go bite Moses. Oh, yeah, yeah. There we go. On
a more pleasant note, I cleaned the pool area
off and am adding water as I write this out.
The Long Ranger isn't quite as hot and humid
as it's been, but I'm sick of getting caught
off guard and having it ready mid -July, only
to be shut down a month and a half later. So,
we got the pool almost all ready. So, I have
all the water in it and everything. Getting smarter
about this, right? So, all I got to do after
that is add the chemicals and turn the pump on
and go. I mean, you know, a lot of times stuff
doesn't happen just like you think it does. But
as far as I'm concerned, hopefully that is what
happens. So I think I'm ahead of the game on
that. My fingers are crossed for you, buddy.
Thank you. Thank you. I have a question, Rob.
Hopefully you have an answer. Okay. Well, we'll
see. I've informed you of all the listeners about
the resort pass, right? Right. Okay. I'm browsing
different areas, and Val and I was thinking about
a stint at Lake of the Ozarks would be pretty
nice here, I don't know, in about a month maybe,
something around that timeline. And I told you
that the people that own Val's old lake house
gave us an open invite to stay there at their
lake house. It's right on the water, and it's...
I forgot the mile marker, but anyhow. So I was
thinking about getting a couple of day passes
to maybe Four Seasons or Margaritaville or the
resort at Lake of the Ozarks where we went last
year. And I know there's others, but, you know,
I'm not familiar with the other ones. I cannot
seem to get any day passes to any of the resorts
around the lake. You know, we have a lot of downloads
in that area. So if anyone knows, you know, and
I'm just not finding them. Please let me know.
I mean... I'm not into the resorts around here.
So, yeah, I really don't know. I can look into
it. Okay, because I don't understand. You know,
resort pass and daycation and all these websites
that I've told you about. You go to Lake of the
Ozarks and you can't find one day pass. And I
don't know what the deal is. Do they just not
do it there? Yeah, yeah. I'm thinking like Margaritaville.
Uh -huh. Just go in. Oh, that's it? You just
walk in? Go in. I think so. Maybe that's the
deal. And then maybe Four Seasons. Yeah, me and
my cousin did. Oh, okay. Okay, then that's it.
Okay, thanks. Because I, well, Margaritaville
used to be a place called Tantara. Yes. And they
had a water park. They had an indoor water park.
And I know a lot of locals that would just go
up and use the water park, you know. Okay, you
go in, you pay a fee, and then you're at the
water park, right? Yeah, yeah. Okay, all right,
then I guess that's what it is, and that's why
I couldn't find a day pass anywhere. Yeah, because
you've got a land shark bar down there. Uh -huh.
You shouldn't have to have a pass to go to the
bar, you know. Yeah, that's true. You got to
go all the way back to the property, so you're
on the property. And if anyone wonders if they've
heard the name Landshark Bar before, you probably
have. It was a notorious bar during COVID that
had like 600 people crammed in their pool, their
outdoor pool. Yes, that was Landshark Bar. Okay,
okay, cool, cool. Then that's what we'll do.
So what I'm going to do, Rob, is I'm going to
bring equipment to the house and we could maybe
do a podcast there to where we can actually look
at each other and, I don't know, flip each other
off and see it or something, right? Sounds good.
Okay, cool. Yeah, whatever. Yeah. Yep. Maybe
we'll catch a couple of carp and have it live
on the program or whatever. Yeah. All right.
Yeah, we have talking carp in this place. Talking
carp? Mm -hmm. Okay. All right. 101 the Fox here
in the KC area, they're giving away concert tickets
to shows at the Ozark Amphitheater. Did you hear
that? Did you know that? Yeah. No, I did not
know that. That's cool. Yeah, they're giving
away a lot of them. I forgot the names of the
bands. There's three bands that I heard that
they're giving away tickets to to the Ozark Amphitheater.
Oh, yeah, they just added Steve Miller. Oh, it
was Steve Miller was one of them. Steve Miller
was one of them. And then there's a couple other
ones. And me and Shannon are going to see Darius
Rucker. Yeah, that ought to be pretty good. And
he's going to do some Hootie songs, you said?
Oh, yeah, he's going to do some Hootie songs.
Okay. Ozark Mountain Daredevil's final tour is
going to be, we're on their final tour. Oh, I
would figure that. Okay, that's cool. I really
wanted to go to that one, but Shannon stopped
me at the movie. So, you're not going to go to
the Daredevils final? God, I might. I want to
see what I can do. I would love to, man. I would
love to. You see, I thought they retired a long
time ago. I had no idea they were still around.
No, I... Oh, I'll have to do that then. Okay.
Oh. Oh, that's too bad. Is the concert still
going on then? They just probably got a replacement,
I guess? Okay. Well, that's good. I wouldn't
think they would because they have a significant
amount of different players from their original
lineup. So I would figure it's plug and play
like the rest of them. You look at Foreigner,
there's not even one original member there. Chicago,
all of these bands have a lot of replacement
players. None of them have all the originals
or even mostly originals. So I would expect that.
Also, I was listening to the Fox and heard about
these concerts they're giving away. There are
the tickets. I also heard that Fox's 40th anniversary
is coming up this summer. Oh, damn. That's hard
to believe, isn't it? 40 years. Yeah, yeah. Makes
us feel old. Yeah, yeah. I am lucky I still get
boners. So, anyhow. It's hard to believe that,
you know, and they were one of the first stations,
if you remember, to play in all classic rock
format in all of America. Right. Yeah, they were
one of the very first stations to say, hey, we're
not playing anything else except classic rock.
So almost all of those songs played under the
classic rock umbrella format at that time are
now considered golden oldies. Where now a majority
of their playlists doesn't even reach back too
much before 77 or so. Rarely does it go back
there. The meat and potatoes of their song list
now is 80s and 90s. Isn't that something? Classic
is considered 25 years or older. That's considered
classic in music and cars and everything. And
I updated a list the first of the year. Remember
what's classic and what's not now? Well, there's
a new list out. There's a new list out of what
all classic rock stations can play now because
the music is 25 years old. And it's astonishing.
It's bands that you just like. It's almost like
New Kids on the Block. They're almost classic
rock, dude. Almost. Damn. But while we're on
the KC radio, I saw that the time capsule from
KY -102 was a dud. The problem was, I guess,
yeah, it wasn't wrapped good enough, so most
artifacts have disintegrated. Oh, God. Yeah,
it sucks, because I was really looking forward
to that. You know there's some really good stuff
in there, right? There are great memories and
probably a lot. Oh, yes. Yeah, no telling. Yeah.
Oh, my God. And some of the stunts and little
little secret Iggy's and shit that they had going
on, you know, and, you know, it's a lot of stuff
that you'd only remember if you read that and
go, oh, yeah, I remember that. That was the song
of the day gag or something, you know, just stuff
like that. So I'm hoping there might be a couple
other time capsules somewhere besides, you know,
the boulevard drive in. But that one wasn't wrapped
good enough, apparently. So, you know, that kind
of sucks. Because I was ready. I mean, to me,
that stuff is so cool. And to see those old pictures.
Can you imagine the old pictures that were in
there? Oh, my God. Yeah, on their Facebook group,
some of the old pictures they show, I'm like,
oh, my God. That brings back so many memories.
Yeah. Yeah, I know. And it's really cool because,
you see, A lot of the people, it's the way you
remembered them in your head, and then you see
the old picture of them and go, wow, that doesn't
look anything like what I remembered them. You
do the same thing like me? Yeah, yeah. Yeah,
it's an odd thing. But anyhow, with all the bear
sightings around this area, how about we train
a bear to knock down that ridiculous fireplace
monument? Yeah, they couldn't do anything to
a bear. A bear just come up there and just kind
of lingered around and knocked it down. Or, hey,
hey, hey, hey, I got it. How about put some bear
pheromones, pheromones, not pheromones, pheromones
sent on the fireplace so a bear just might, it
might just fuck the damn thing down, Rob. Hell
yeah. What are they going to do? Take the bear?
Yeah, it's natural. The bear took a liking to
the fireplace and it fucked it down. Let someone
go out there and argue with a bear. Hey, forget
it. Just keep doing what you're doing. Maybe
the bears are listening to us and they're migrating
that way. I bet they are. That might be. I bet
they are. Yeah, I mean, that'd be great. And
you can imagine, hey, what happened to that Burke
District statue? It's no big deal. No, what happened
to it? A bear fucked it down. What? A bear fucked
it down. What? A bear fucked it down. A bear
came up and fucked it down. I got it. So, okay,
anyhow, the visual on that. Taking back on some
of our emails, I think we have a lot of listeners
applauding right now. I think so, too. I think
so, too, because I'm telling you, just one time
we mentioned that fireplace and how ridiculous
it is, and people will not drop it. All of my
emails come out of the woodwork. That was crazy.
The heat for that thing is incredible. So, you
know, now they're thinking there's four different
bears roaming in the Kansas City area. Four different
ones. I would not doubt it. I wouldn't either.
I mean, you know, the Blue River is less than
a mile away from us. They are probably all over
that thing. Why wouldn't they, you know? They
have all their food and they're secluded. We've
had bears around here for a while and they've
been... They've been all migrating north because
they all used to be down around the Arkansas
-Missouri line. But they've been, over the past
few years, they've been migrating north and they've
been around here. So, yeah, they're just going
to keep going. And you guys are straight over
that way, you know. You never really seen them
past Table Rock Lake, really, before. Before.
But then they made them up there. Well, they've
been coming up 49. Well, I mean, they're kind
of like the armadillos. The armadillos are up
here now, but they didn't for a long, long time,
but they just kept migrating north. So, anyhow,
the bears, I mean, you know, it is what it is.
I mean, you know, they're here, and I'm glad
they have places that they can go to hide out.
I mean, you know, because a bear in the city
is not a good thing, generally, because they
usually get hit. I think a lot of them. Yeah,
they should love, they really should love it
down. Along the Blue River, to be honest. Yeah,
I would think that there's probably... If they
saw four of them, I would bet there's a lot more
of them in there because that is a parkway and
no one can touch it. And it's beautiful. I mean,
it's very scenic and it's woods and it's bluffs
and hills. It's perfect for them. So, that's
cool. So, I got one for you, Rob. Do you remember
when you could poke someone on Facebook? Yeah,
you still can. Oh, you can? Oh. I help people
do it from time to time. Oh, okay. You got to
go into your actual profile and down where your
groups and friends and all that. Yeah, down in
there somewhere. Okay, I must have took it away
because I was so sick of it, you know. So, yeah,
I was tired of being on poke alert all the time
because, I hated it, you know. It was like someone
would poke you, and then you'd feel obligated
to poke them back, right? And then, you know.
Right. Yeah, so. I always ignored them. I started
doing that. I started doing that. Maybe that's
why I quit getting poked, which is fine with
me. And I'll tell you the worst one is, did you
ever have a dude poke you? Dude, that feels so
awkward. Yeah, I like. It does, it feels awkward.
Why would you poke another dude? Yeah. That's
weird. It's not funny. It's not cute. Listen,
if you're gay, that's fine. That's fine. You
can poke another dude on Facebook. We're talking
about Facebook, okay? Don't be poking me. Yeah,
but don't be poking me. You know, everyone knows
I'm not gay. I don't want to be poked by a dude.
Actually, I don't want to be poked by anybody
because I hate the responsibility of having to
react back because I think it's so... so fucking
ridiculous that someone pokes you. And it's like,
it's like, okay, what did that mean? Did you
want something? Did you want to say something?
You know, do you want, do you got a question
for me? Why did you suddenly... Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, hey, I got this. I'm kind of wondering about
this or that. Or, hey, I remember this story
or something. Don't just poke me. And then all
of a sudden, I'm like, okay, let me see. Where
is that? Okay, there's a poke back thing. Okay,
you know. All right, got him back. It's ridiculous.
I guess it probably originated as, hey, I'm thinking
of you. Well, if you're going to do that. Tell
me you're thinking that. Yeah, send me a message.
Hey, what's up? You know, don't fucking poke
me on Facebook. I had no idea it was still around
though, Rob. Thanks for letting me know. Yeah,
it is. I had somebody poke me like, I think it
was like two, three weeks ago. I'm like, I didn't
think it was still around either, but yeah, it
is. Hmm, okay. I went on a poison ivy mission,
killing as much as I could, and I'm proud of
myself. I only got one little dot on my wrist,
and it seems to be going away. Congratulations.
Thank you. It has tortured me for years. Are
you affected by poison ivy, oak, or sumac, or
any of the poison whatever vines? Okay. When
I was a kid, if I got within a mile of it, I
would... to be truthful I don't know if I am
these days because I haven't had it a long time
I don't know if it's just because I haven't been
around it or if I got a mute to it and you don't
you don't want to find out the bad way so yeah
no I do not oh my gosh I remember those days
And another thing is, did this happen to you
when you got poison ivy? I was the opposite,
by the way. When I was younger, I didn't get
it, and then later on I got it, and I started
getting it in life, and it sucks. But every time
I would get poison ivy, somewhere in there I
would have to take a piss, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah,
and you'd get on your fucking nuts and dick,
and it sucked. Yeah. Yeah, and good luck scratching
down there. Not a lot of fun, so. Yep, so anyhow.
I always found the best way to do it is to grab
a horse rack and take a leak. Hold it with a
horse rack. Yeah, yeah. I even took some bleach
one time. And it kind of hurt. I don't know.
Well, it knocked down. To kill it, yeah. To kill
it, yeah. It knocked it down quite a bit. This
is before I knew that you could go to the doctor
and get steroids. I can imagine. The biggest
problem with going to the doctor and getting
steroids is the doctor has to look at it to make
sure you didn't scratch it and it's getting infected
or nothing. So it's kind of embarrassing. It's
like, Mark, I'm sorry. I have to see it. Huh?
Yeah, yeah. I have to see it. Fuck. Okay. Well,
they need to make sure it's not some type of
DD or anything. They didn't say that. There's
something they really don't want to say, but
I don't think about it. I'm sure you're right.
Mark, you didn't say you're leaking there a little
bit. Just treat the poison ivy. Have you seen
the chief schedule was released? I see it was
released. I have not looked at it yet. Well,
we have seven night games. Seven. We have two
out -of -the -country games. And our quarterback's
opponents, Justin Herbert two times, Jalen Hurts,
Lamar Jackson, Jaden Daniels, Jared Goff, Bo
Nix twice, Geno Smith twice, Josh Allen, and
C .J. Stroud. The Chiefs are in Brazil. I know,
that's one hell of a schedule there. They want
to make sure. Yeah, they're going to try to make
it tough on them this year. Well, we knew they
were. They've been in there too much. They're
going to do what they can to try to stop them.
The Chiefs are in Brazil for their season opener
versus the Chargers. Monday night showdown with
Jaden Daniels and the Commanders. Christmas Day
versus the Broncos. They face eight playoff teams
from the last season with a faceoff two times
for the Broncos and the Chargers. All that together,
eight different teams, eight different playoff
teams they face. I'm still thinking the Chiefs
are still going to get 12 wins. I still have
not seen all the schedules for the top contenders,
but I would bet that the Chiefs are not the only
ones that got their ass kicked by the schedule.
Because I got this feeling like the NFL, as much
as it loves superstars like Mahomes and Jackson
and Allen and Hurts and all that, as much as
they love them, they still want more parity.
They want more teams bumping up just enough to
get into the playoffs. I mean, they'd love for
Chicago Bears to get good enough to get 9 -7
and inch back their way into the playoffs or
something like that, or like a Carolina to surprise
everybody and Bryce Young start throwing lights
out. They want that so bad. Yeah, more competition.
Yeah, and it makes more interest. So we'll see.
I'm still, like I said. Me, I'm still with the
Chiefs until further notice, and not just because
I'm a Chiefs fan. I'm not being a homer on this.
They start showing me any different, and I'm
going to say different, but they have not shown
me any different, so I'm sticking with them right
now. Well, the way I look at it, it sounds like
this year with this schedule, truth will be told.
Are they for real? Yes, exactly. That's what
it sounds to me. I'll tell you what, if they
get 12 wins this year, I think that's going to
be quite an achievement. Well, last year I thought
they were going to get 11 wins because their
schedule was so tough, but they really essentially
lost one with the starters. Yeah. Anyhow, that's
all I got on the first part of this. What do
you got, Rob? All right. Well, I have a little
bit of upbeat news. This is a wife of the Ozark
Pace. Okay, cool. We love that. Did you remember
the story about Officer Felicia Carson, the police
officer that was in hot pursuit, wrecked and
died? Yes. Right, like three days after the new
law went in where you run to the police, it's
a felony type thing. Uh -huh. The Grand Glade
Bridge will soon bear the name of police officer
Felicia Carson honoring her service and sacrifice.
Good. Yes. The Grand Glade Bridge, the one in
Osage Beach. Oh, okay. The Missouri General Assembly
has passed legislation designating the structure
as the police officer Felicia Carson Memorial
Bridge. The measure was included in SB 348 and
is set to take effect on August 28, 2025. Once
signed by Governor Mike Kehoe, the Missouri Department
of Transportation will cover the cost of signage.
That's cool. That's cool right there. That's
very cool. Representative Jeff Berente. who helped
push the measure through, called it an honor
to support the designation for Officer Carson
and her family. We know the signs will go up
in the fall with a formal dedication ceremony
to be announced later. I think that's cool. I
think that's excellent. They needed to honor
her. Yes. So tragic that some idiot was running
from the police. And then to have her young life
lost, you know, serving her community. Yeah.
Mother, wife, and mother of like three or four
children. Yeah, three or four children will not
get to see their mom ever. Well, I mean, maybe
in the afterlife, but not in this life. Because
some idiot chose to do that. She was well -known
in the community, too. Yeah, that's what I read
and what you were telling me. Yeah. That is just
tragic. Well, at least people can go by and see
her name on the bridge, which she greatly deserves.
As far as I'm concerned, they could build a statue
of her and any other officer that died in the
line of duty. So, anyhow. That would be it. Something
at the police station. I would love nothing more.
That would be excellent. Really would. Okay.
Thank you, Rob. Should we take our first break
and come back with some emails? Sure. Sounds
great. All right. Be right back. When taking
a shower, remember to scrub your asshole with
soapy water because nobody likes a stinky asshole.
You watch the news. It looks grim. Is an apocalypse
inevitable? We suggest you download all our podcasts
beforehand and have multiple mobile chargers.
We have the post -apocalypse. Remember, post
-apocalypse to have a sewage bit. Sewage untreated
can result in serious illness. and other obstacles
for your family to live well. You also should
have some chemicals stocked up, maybe bags of
chlorine or something of such, to sanitize the
sewage per week. And now, Deep Thoughts with
Mark. Hmm. How do you tell when you're out of
invisible ink? Huh. I may never know. Our constant
pursuit for a real knee slapper. It's strange
insults from an alien. Real hilarity. Please
remember to go to Cole's dressing room, wait
five minutes, and scream, Hey, there's no toilet
paper in here! So you want proof that we love
you here at QD Spades and Microfilm Central?
Here's a proof right here. How about the drink
of the week? Hey, my little bacon bits. Didn't
you need to get to Smashville pronto? Did your
friends start without you? We have your solution.
Adios, motherfuckers. Adios, motherfuckers is
one stiff drink. It should be used with caution.
One half ounce of vodka. One half ounce of rum.
One half ounce of tequila. 1 1⁄2 ounce of gin,
1 1⁄2 ounce of blue curacao, 2 ounces of sweet
and sour mix, Sprite or 7 -Up, use a lemon wedge
as a garnish, and put in a highball glass. Bam!
There you go. He's on microphone. My name is
Mark, and I am here in the Kansas City area.
My name is Rob. Beautiful. Angler Arm of Lake
Avila. All right, and it is. Soon to be boat
filled and people blasted. Oh, God. All kinds
of crazy shit because... Oh, go ahead, what?
Yeah, I'm here in Camden, and I can hear boats
going by up and down Mount Angler. Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I know. I've been around. I've heard them.
They get pretty loud. And then at night, even.
At night, you hear them running all night, too,
man. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. There's no curfew on
the lake, so. I got some emails. Want to go to
them? Sounds great. All righty. I have a brand
new Fuckhammer pajamas. They're pretty sleek.
The PJs have a hammer that looks like a penis
with lightning bolts down the sides. I also have
a matching tank top. I can order you guys one
if you would like. Ball caps are coming soon
with Fuckhammer panties and boxers. P .S. I've
typed the name of Fuckhammer so much it auto
-fills when I type an F. Just saying. Mitch in
the hilltops of the Amarugi campgrounds and Hedge
Apple Farm. Amarugi. Hedge Apple Farm. Hedge
Apple Farm. Amarugi. Amarugi is. There's hedge
apples all over there and they are so fun to
hit someone in the head with too. Oh, man. I
mean, you could knock someone's fucking ass in
the dirt with those. I mean, we used to. They
will take out a windshield, too. Oh, they'll
take out a windshield? Yeah, they'll smash somebody
so bad it'll give them a concussion. Those things
are pretty vicious. And then, when they hit you
really hard, then you get the good news that
that sappy milk stuff goes all over you, too.
Yeah. It's some sort of... Oh, go ahead, what?
Yeah, you use gas or... turpentine or something
to get it off. It is nasty. Whatever that stuff
is inside a hedge apple, it squeezes out when
it hits you. Because I know, I used to be in
a lot of hedge apple fights with friends and
non -friends. What about you? Oh, yeah. When
we were kids, that was one of the games. There's
nothing more fun than cracking someone in the
head with a hedge apple as hard as you could.
Oh, yeah. Oh, good times. Good times. Is it either
if you hit your baseball over your neighbor's
fence and you knew you couldn't go get it, grab
a hedge apple, get another baseball. Yes. Yep.
Start batting those over the fence, too. Until
you smack it and bust it open and all that juice
hits you in the face. Oh, I've had that happen,
too. Yeah. Or the pitcher's a little wild and
smacks you with it. Yeah. Yeah, that sucks, too.
The bitches will knock you out. They will. Amaruji,
it's spelt like this if someone wants to look
it up. It is an area in Cass County. And Amaruji
is a Cass County term. I think it's really supposed
to be pronounced the Amaruja. But they call it
Amaruji. And it's A -M -A -R -U -G -I -A. And
it is pretty much, what is it, like hilltops,
like three or four hilltops? Just an area, a
conservation area. It's a conservation area.
Well, my grandpa's farm was just up on D .D.
right there. So me and grandpa would go down
in there all the time. We'd go down there turkey
hunting. Yeah, it's a set of odd -looking hills.
Yeah, it is right down the road. They say there's
coal in the hills and that's why they're so oddly
shaped. But it's a very unique area of Cass County.
It doesn't look like any other area in Cass County.
And it's called the Amaru G's is what they call
it around there. When I was younger, I also heard
that they were Indian burial grounds. I've heard
that too. You know, I'll have to look that up
sometime. I don't know if that's true or not.
But anyhow, I guess Mitch is there camping. That's
true. That's true. I'll have to look that up.
That would not surprise me at all because, like
you said, they watch over that really close,
and that would be a reason. Anyhow, I'm glad
Mitch is camping there because I didn't think
they allowed camping. Thanks, Mitch. This next
one is, I've heard this before and I found out
what happened because I bitched about it too.
Hey guys, I went to download a few shows because
I'm taking a long trip. I kept getting a subscription
wall for your shows on my main service Amazon.
I'm wondering why this could be. I know you guys
don't charge for your podcast. Ronnie in Tulsa,
the Tulsa King. He's going to give us more lists.
He's going on a couple of trips first. He let
me know. Okay. Here's what happened with me.
I somehow logged out on the device I was using
of Amazon, and it didn't recognize me as me.
I had to log back in. Once I logged back in,
I got my... I got my subscription. I could listen
to our show on Amazon. It didn't try to charge
me. Ronnie, I think that's probably what's happening
with you because you said that's your main service.
If that's your main service, then you're a Prime
member. So the Prime members get that. So whatever
device you're on, I simply think it didn't recognize
it was you and you need to log back on into it
probably. So that is probably most likely the
cause. And anyone else, if that happens. All
right, next one. Mark, what kind of elbow cream
do you use? My elbows are rough and dry. Thanks.
Rita in Foxborough. Butter. That's a very good
question. It really is. It is. I suffer from
dry elbows. Everybody in the world knows this.
I've been tortured. by this my whole life. It's
tragic. I've had healing people come over and
put their hands on it. I've had people come over
and give me new treatments. I went around the
world to new doctors and stem cells, but nothing
could reverse my dry elbows until I discovered
butter. Butter is what you use. Take as much
butter as you can and slather it all over your
elbows. And your elbows will be fine. Rob does
it too, don't you? Honestly, I'm thinking I remember
my grandpa doing that. Oh, I just made that shit
up. Okay. Okay, then butter. Seriously. Hell,
I don't know. I might be dreaming. I don't know.
Look, obviously someone's having a little fun
with me. So I had a little fun back. Yeah, butter.
Oh, this next one I really love. Hey, guys, I'm
sorry for screwing with you constantly. It's
a result of being very angry over my condition
since a toddler. Micropenis syndrome is uncurable.
I'm sorry again. I'm just angry that you guys
and all the other listeners have regular genitals,
and I have to have this tiny meat thimble. Clint
in Clarksville. We knew this, didn't we, Rob?
He admitted. He finally admitted. We knew you
had a tiny meat thimble. We knew this, and we
knew that's why you're angry and why you're angry
at us, because we have regular -sized man's penises,
and you don't. I mean, thank you for admitting
it, Clint. I mean, Rob, do you have anything
to say to Clint? We know about his condition,
and we feel horrible, don't we? Yeah, buddy.
It's not your fault that my four -year -old grandson
has a penis. Yes, Clint. Yeah, don't feel bad.
I'm sure there's maybe one or two other men in
the whole world that have as small a penis as
you. Don't worry about it. It's okay. Yeah, and
women don't care either. That's just a lie. That's
just a lie. They don't care. They don't care
that they can't feel your little meat button.
They don't care. It's fine. They like you for
you. Right, Rob? Yep. Because Clint has such
a great personality. He attracts women. All he's
got to do is walk in. Yeah, and spare dogs and
badgers. All right. I just advise them to keep
Narcan on hand. I did hide all the Narcan. I'll
let him have it back, Clint, because we like
you riding in. All right. Mark, do you ever think
you might do another podcast as a guest? We would
love to host you for a show. Thanks, Tony. The
Wasted Time Podcast. I looked them up. They look
pretty good. Not only me, but I suggest you get
Rob, too. Rob is a very interesting guest. Remember,
he started out just calling the show. Wasted
Time. Wasted Time Podcast. It was interesting.
I liked it. I would do it. I thank you all. I
got checked email, but I think you already sent
me something about it. So yeah, I would definitely
do it. And I suggest you have, I suggest you
have Rob on there too. So you can have us both
on at the same time or different episodes, whatever,
probably different episodes. So, okay. We're,
we're game wasted time podcast. Anyone out there
listen to it. It's pretty good. I'll listen to
it. They have a lot of different, you know what?
Just listen to it. It's different. I like it
because it's different. All right. Rob, you never
mentioned the fishing guided tours like you said
you would. I've listened to every show. I'm wanting
to book one soon before it's all sold out. Thanks
in advance, Mikey. Okay, okay. Sorry, Mikey.
I've been working overtime the last few weeks.
I've been really busy. You're just slowing up
a little bit. I will get on that this week. I
promise. I promise. And there's two different
people that asked for guided tour recommendations.
Mikey was one of them. I look back, and then
there's another one. But the other one was first,
and then Mikey was the second one. So there's
two people asking for it. Yeah, for fishing tours.
So he will get back with you guys. He's been
really busy. So thank you, Mikey. And I forgot
the other person's name, but he's getting on
it. Yes, yes. Not my fault. My boss is asleep.
See? And people like us are buying boats. Yes,
a lot of people buying boats. And they're all
Generation Xers. Yep. All right. Rob, let's turn
it over to you. All right, this is another Canyon
County story. Have you heard of the Ballparks
National? It's a huge ballpark place down here
outside Max Creek, or in Max Creek. I think I
have. National championships and all kinds of
stuff there. I believe I've heard of it, yes.
Okay. It just opened up just a few years ago.
Yeah, they have major championships there, all
kinds of stuff. Well, there was a man, oh God,
a man accused of assaulting a sheriff's deputy.
While the man was serving as an umpire at a children's
baseball game, has filed a lawsuit against the
Cambie County Sheriff and the deputy. Oh, wow.
Okay, yeah, the umpire got into an argument.
Okay. Anyway, on May 13, 2023, Cambie County
deputies were called to Ballpark National in
Max Creek for a report of a fight. Wow. Wow.
with assault of a special victim and resisting
arrest. On April 25, 2025, Sidebottom filed a
lawsuit against Sheriff Tony Helms, who's no
longer sheriff, and Deputy Cole Downing. The
lawsuit claims that Sidebottom's Fourth Amendment
rights against unreasonable search and seizure
were denied. Claims that Sidebottom was arrested
without cause or suspicion and with intricate
bias. What do you mean without cause or suspicion?
You put the damn cop on the telephone. I can't,
I don't understand how come... There was witnesses.
He is suing... Oh, here we go. Okay. Here we
go, it gets a little better. Okay. Sidebottom
claims that the arrest and ensuing news coverage
permanently damages career as a registered nurse
and a Division II college umpire. The lawsuit
states that Sidebottom suffered $350 ,000 in
financial damage. Um, okay. Dude, don't be a
dick and that won't happen, right? I don't know
what else to say. Don't be a dick. Geez. I'm
sure that lawsuit's going to get struck down
soon. I mean, I just don't see judges as unpredictable
and as far off as they can be. And that's it
for assaulting an officer. Okay. Oh, and a woman,
too. The fight started out with a female parent,
and he shoved the female parent, and that's when
the officer walked up, and he ended up putting
the officer in a chokehold. Wow. Now he's trying
to see, yeah, and the new sheriff is saying no
comment. You know what? Let it go to the court.
Let it go to the court because I'm pretty sure
that this officer will be acquitted and there
won't be any money handed out to the idiot, I'm
pretty sure. In my opinion. Allegedly. Okay.
But, you know, that sheriff had nothing to do
with it. He wasn't even on the scene. Oh, yeah.
No, he just came in and this is kind of on his
plate. That's how you sue the county, I guess.
You sue the sheriff. Oh. Oh, okay. Well, all
right. I don't have a clue. Oh, well, you know
what? Keep... Keep an eye on that story, will
you? I want to see how it ends. I think I know
how it's going to end, but it would be nice to...
I'll tell you, a lot of people are down here
to keep an eye on the story. Yeah, yeah, because
that's bullshit. All right, you want to take
our second break, and we'll have some more stories
coming back? Sounds good. Sounds good to me.
We'll be right back. Hey, fellas, remember to
wipe away from the twins. Stay fresh ideas from
the douchebags. Two douchebags and microphone
in an effort to keep everything fresh. We offer
you first world problems. Damn it. I can't decide
between nachos, chili, or wings for the game
tonight. This is bullshit. I should not have
to make decisions like this. The apocalypse just
happened. You don't know what to do. You don't
know where to go. But we can tell you what you
can eat. During an apocalypse, don't forget the
nuts. Hickory nuts, that is. Yeah, we know. Hickory
wood gets all the glory and all the love. Everyone
loves hickory trees. They cut them down and they...
Make great sandwiches out of barbecue and meats.
They smoke them, and it's a fantastic deal. But
little does anyone know about the hickory nuts.
During an apocalypse, hickory nuts could be the
best thing you could find. Hickory nuts can be
eaten raw, toasted, or added to various recipes.
Their rich, buttery flavor and crunchy texture
make them an ideal ingredient for both sweet
and savory dishes. You can use hickory nuts to
make nut butter, pesto, or even a unique hickory
nut milk. There are five types of hickory nuts.
Bitter nut hickory, shag bark hickory, pig nut
hickory, mocker nut hickory, and smooth bark
hickory. Hickory trees are considered part of
the walnut species and are plentiful, at least
around Missouri and surrounding areas. So, during
an apocalypse, don't forget to grab your nuts.
Oh, shit. What's that over there? Oh, no. It's
the island of horrible jokes. Well, I just saw
two red -breasted birds sunning on a limb. They
must be basking robins. Rob ran. A man is still
in there. Rob consumed small doses of radiation
for 30 years. Rob is immune. To radiation. Watch
him glow. Watch Rob Red jump up 25 feet and grab
birds out of thin air with his mouth. With his
mouth! Rob can now be rented for children's parties
and bar mitzvahs. That's right. Come on and rent
you a Rob today. That's right. Come by and rent
Rob for a day. A day! Watch Rob consume seven
bottles of night cream and still break dance
in New York. Watch Rob Redd fart down a building.
Fart down a building! Rob Redd assumes no responsibility
whatsoever. He is not a babysitter and he doesn't
give one hell of a shit about your children.
Please remember to corral every little bastard
you have. Before Rob gets there, and Walt will
not put up with any backtalk, he will promptly
get them in the place. Rob Rehag assumes no responsibility
for anything that could be stolen from his visit.
Rob Rehag has no responsibility whatsoever in
any help him of any situation. Read a Rob today.
Strange, but true. In 1903, two unrelated men
named Will and William West, identical in appearance,
were both sent to Leavenworth Prison, causing
confusion. This led to the adoption of fingerprint
identification. Jam X. What the hell happened?
You were the generation of change. You never
wanted to be one of them. Apathy spoke for you.
Fuck the man. Fuck the system. What the hell
happened? The generation of angst. A generation
of non -compliance is now buying a boat? You're
really fed up if you kill someone dangled a dollar
near you. Great job, Xers. Everything's ruined.
These guys are inviting as a used hypodermic
needle. Two douchebags microphone. My name's
Mark here in the Kansas City area. And my name
is Rob. It's a beautiful hang bar on Lake of
the Ozarks. All right. Thank you, Rob. Two douchebags
microphone celebrating their 30th year in podcasting.
Oh, oh, oh, maybe not. Maybe not. Maybe not.
I'm sorry. I read that wrong. I read that wrong.
All right. There's a terrifying attraction that
lets tourists sleep while they're suspended over
a 320 -foot cliff, Rob. Does that sound like
something you'd like to go to sleep over? Definitely
not. Me neither. This unique lodging experience
might seem like a nightmare to some. Hopefully
they don't fall asleep. They wrote that, not
me. A cliffhanger attraction in China is taking
relaxing to new heights by allowing lazy daredevils
to lounge in a bed situation on the edge of an
over 320 -foot cliff as seen in a viral video.
And if you get a chance, look it up. It's nuts.
Located in Manchang... I see it on Facebook.
Oh, you did? Okay. Yeah, it's crazy. Located
in Manchang, China, Forest Park in Shenzhou,
The cliffbed experience was launched to somewhat
paradoxically relax and forget about the world,
Jam Press reported. I don't know about that,
but I think I'd be on red alert. What about you,
Rob? Oh, definitely. In accordance to a veranda
-like platform, which has debuted as part of
the Scenic Spots Outdoor Adventure Package, features
wooden slats, a small double air mattress, A
duvet pillow, the Global Times, and a pillow,
a duvet and a pillow, not a duvet pillow. In
viral footage, a shockingly serene woman can
be seen stretching her arms as the camera pans
to the panoramic alpine surroundings in the background.
There's even space on this literal bedrock to
place her cup and shoes behind the mattress.
Out of this attraction was born an even scarier
experience. It's called... surviving a night
sleeping in Kansas City. It is the most terrifying
one of all. And the most dangerous. A lot more
than... A lot more. A lot more than sleeping
on a 320 -foot cliff. Rob, we turn to you. Yeah,
I've been reading the news. I've been reading
the news. I know what you're talking about. We're
not going to go into it. It's not good. No, it's
not. Okay, I want to move into the music a little.
Sounds good to me. And this is another uplifting
one. Def Leppard guitarist Vivian Campbell made
an epic comeback during the band's Thursday,
May 15th performance at the Palacio de Puerto
Rico Jose Miguel. Niagara in San Juan. I hope
I got that right. Sounds perfect to me, Rob.
He is battling cancer. Is that it? Yes. Campbell,
who was diagnosed with Hopkins lymphoma in 2013,
played his first show with the UK Rockers since
undergoing a bone marrow transplant eight months
ago. Wow. Campbell came in decades later. The
guitarist is an integral part of the band's sound.
He worked on key albums like Adrenaline, Slang,
Victoria, X, Song of the Sparkle Lounge, Black
Leopard, and Diamond Star Halos. He took over...
Oh, go ahead. Yeah, go ahead. He took over for
Steve Clark. Yes. When Steve Clark passed away.
And he's actually been in the band a long, long
time. And he's had Hodgkin's lymphoma, non -Hodgkin's,
isn't it, lymphoma, for how many years now? I
would say 25. It said Hodgkin's. Oh, it is Hodgkin's.
Okay, Hodgkin's lymphoma for over 25 years, I
believe. He's had it a long time. It's one of
those ones that they can control, but they can't
cure, I believe. what you gather? Yeah, he's
been battling it. Yeah, he has. Despite his ongoing
health struggles, Campbell finds solace in music.
Even at the worst of my cancer, when I was doing
very hardcore chemotherapy. I still managed to
go on tour with Def Leppard, who sold Ultimate
Guitar in a 2019 interview. I had a hard time
convincing Def Leppard, and in particular the
Def Leppard management, that that was the best
thing for me to do. Campbell continued, I think
that they really wanted me to stay at home and
just concentrate on my treatments. Whereas for
me, I agree with him. Nice. That's a pretty good
bill there, too. That's a good bill. I don't
think they're coming by Kansas City, but I will
take a look. That's cool. You know, I'm glad
he's back and I'm glad he is playing again because
I agree with him. That's the best thing you can
do. You don't let it control your life. That
was the part of the story that made me really
want to read this story tonight. The way he looks
at it. It's what you do that keeps you going.
If you give up doing that, you're done. Yeah,
yeah. Like me and my job. If I gave up my job
and quit, you know, an easier job, my body would
go downhill quick. You know, Rob, there's a lot
to be said for that. I don't do nearly as physical
a job as I used to. And I'm telling you what,
your body adjusts in a bad way. Yeah, it does.
You slow down, so does your body. Yeah, it's
kind of like a, oh, you put the foot off the
gas? All right, well, watch this. I'm not like
in horrible shape, but I've noticed a very comparable
difference. And I do believe it's because I don't
do the same type of... heavy strenuous workout
regimen, if you will, you know, of my old. So,
but on the same token, I wouldn't have been able
to keep doing that job either. Right now, if
you handed me a big piece of glass and some hand
railing or something, I couldn't do it. I mean,
I could, but it would be very painful and would
destroy my body, like, quickly. So, you know,
Rob, you're right. But at the same time, sooner
or later, you're going to have to make compensations
and you're going to have to stop doing that heavy
of work. Whether it means having other people
lift the stuff for you and bring it to you or
whatever, I don't know. That's up to you and
your work. But at some point in life, you have
to quit doing that. You know, I did. Oh, I got
you. And nobody trained to do my job. Nobody
wants to do my job. I work too hard and everybody
sees it. Everybody knows it. I'm not bragging.
I'm not bragging a bit. No, I know that. It's
a known fact. You're stating the truth is what
you're doing, Rob. Yeah, I mean, I mentioned
I need help, and people start cringing, walking
the other way, you know? Oh, yeah. Well, I can
tell you this, Rob, and this did happen to me.
In my opinion, my old job... had this thing that,
like, if you're over a certain age and they think
they got the best years out of you, they unceremoniously
let you go. This is my opinion. I don't know
for sure. But to me, it sure looks like it. Well,
today, the company has the main boss. He keeps
guaranteeing me. When I do, because we all, even
he knows, the day's coming, I'm not going to
be able to do that job. But he has reassured
me that they will find a place for me. Oh, that
place I have no doubt. But what I was getting
at is this right here. The next day, when different
companies that did the same thing that we did
there found out I was no longer working there,
I was offered three jobs in the same field. for
more money. And I turned it down because I knew
there's no way I could keep doing this. As a
matter of fact, when I was let go, I was relieved.
I was like, you know what? I didn't have enough
guts to pull the trigger myself and leave. They
did it for me. And I was relieved. I'm like,
good. I have to leave now. I have to do something
else. I don't have a choice. So, I mean, in all
their evilness and their selfishness, They had
no idea they were doing me such a favor, but
they did. And I'll never like those people ever
again, no. But I can't deny what they did to
me was the best thing that happened to me in
a long, long time. Even though they didn't give
a shit what happened to me. And also, another
thing I'd like to add is they did God's plan
whether they realized it or not. I'm where I'm
supposed to be. And if their selfishness was
used, that was probably what happened. But it
was used for me, even though it seemed to be
used against me, if that makes any sense at all.
But, you know, Rob, I have no doubt your company
sounds like it has integrity, unlike my old one.
Not the one I'm at now. The one I'm at now is
great. They had no integrity. And like I was
telling a good friend of mine, I said, I got
tired of working for a place that if one of the
owners wanted to get a kitchen and bath remodel,
you didn't get a raise. You know, and that's
just kind of the vibe they had going there. And
that's exactly what they did. It's like, ah,
this is our money and we got something else to
do with it this year. So you're not getting dick,
you know, and there's nothing you can do about
it. You know, there, you know, what do you do?
We have a gentleman that's worked for the company
for 42 years. Wow, that's really good. He has
a year and a half in every time. He's worked
there since, like, out of school. It was like
his first job. Wow. Bo is a great guy. That's
excellent. Good. Yeah. That type of loyalty.
That type of loyalty is almost unheard of in
today's business. And I commend it. What is the
name of the place again? There you go. There
you go. That is a good place, guys. That is a
good place. What was I going to go into? Go ahead,
Rob. You got something? Okay. A 97 -year -old
care resident known for her mischievous streak
was placed under arrest on her birthday as part
of a surprise planned by staff. Maggie Clark,
a former children's nurse and resident of Elizabeth
Lodge in Enfield, London, had joked with staff
that she had always wondered what it would be
like to be arrested. Mrs. Clark's birthday, the
care home team got in touch with local metropolitan
police officers who volunteered to take part
in the surprise. On the morning of her birthday,
officers from Wood Green Police Station arrived
at Elizabeth Lodge and they set up handcuffs
and they spooked a restaurant. Mrs. Clark gleefully
put her hands together and smiled to the camera.
A D .C. Benjamin Flint arrest letter. She was
charged on the grounds of consistent speeding
in her wheelchair. I have been too good for too
long. I think it was definitely on my bucket
list to be arrested by an anthem policeman. My
bucket list, my list is complete. I loved it.
Oh, that is such a great story. That is. Man,
you're doing some uplifting stuff tonight, Rob.
I kind of needed it personally, so yeah. Very
cool. Is that it? Yeah, that was it on that.
Okay, I got one. Employee compared to Darth Vader
at work wins $40 ,000 in compensation. Yeah,
they could call me Darth Vader all day long if
they wanted to give me $40 ,000, right? She kicked
the Darth haters to the curb. A grieved UK worker,
Lorna Roque, was awarded almost $40 ,000 in compensation
after being compared to Darth Vader, an analogy
that litigators deemed upsetting. Darth Vader,
I bet she wasn't upset after she got that check
cut. Darth Vader is a legendary... Yeah, Darth
Vader is a legendary villain of the Star Wars
series, as we all know, and being aligned with
his personality is insulting. Employment Judge
Katherine Ramson declared during the Employment
Tribunal, which took place in London, the Guardian
reported, litigators deemed it harmful to be
compared to the half -machine, half -human Star
Wars baddie, was known in the film for force
-choking underlings who failed to carry out his
orders. Well, they deserved it. They didn't carry
out his orders, right, Rob? Right. Yeah. So that's
what you get. You do what Doris says, or he will
move his hands and not touch you, but it will
choke you. That's how good he is. The Office
Space Opera broke out in 2021 after... Rourke,
who worked for the National Health Service's
blood and transplant sector and a training and
practice supervisor, was asked to take a Star
Wars -themed psychological test as a team -building
exercise, while depicted in the films described
in the quiz as a very focused individual who
could accelerate team synergy. Now, I changed
my mind, Rob. They had a team -building exercise
and a Star Wars theme. They deserve to get sued.
What do you think? Yeah. Yeah. You do that, you
get what's coming to you. Don't ever do that.
Don't ever do a team -building exercise and have
it Star Wars -themed. That's idiotic. So, I could
go on, but I'm not going to. I think everyone
gets what I'm saying here, and we can move to
you. Since Memorial Day is coming up and a lot
of people are coming to play, I need to get this
out there now so people will know. Okay. If you're
planning to hit one of the traditional Lake Area
venues, take in Memorial Day weekend fireworks,
then you'll need to plan on going somewhere other
than Lodge of the Four Seasons and Margaritaville.
Okay. Both the Lodge and Margaritaville confirmed
that the Memorial Day fireworks will not happen
this year. Wow. Which indicate the longtime displays,
which have been funded over the years out of
at least some of the revenue generated by the
lodging tax, were pulled off the calendar after
lodging tax was declared unconstitutional by
the Missouri Supreme Court. So what they were
doing is they were using part of that lodging
tax to pay for that Memorial Day fireworks. Personally,
I love that the lodging tax was removed. Which,
yeah, I mean, that's what that lodging tax was
for, for celebrations like that, instead of taking
it out of the lodger's pocket. Okay, the lodging
tax always pissed me off because of this right
here. You get on there, whether it's PricelineBooking
.com or their homepage, whatever. You get on
there, and it would say, okay, $140 a night.
That's not bad. And then you get tax, and then
you get a lodging tax. The lodging tax is usually
at least $25, $30. So by the time it was said
and done, this $130 room was $170. And you're
like, what? There couldn't be that much tax.
And then they also add on cleaning fees now,
which pisses me off. Cleaning fees used to be
added into it. It's like, all right, you guys
have a cleaner hired, and that's added into it.
We got a bunch of bullshittery that these guys
do anymore, and the lodging tax is one of them.
But I do know this. I'm not stupid. They're just
going to find a way to get that price in there
somehow, and it's not going to be a lodging tax.
It's just going to be a higher price when you
buy it. It's also misleading to whenever they
have lodging taxes and cleaning fees and all
that, because you get ready to book this thing.
You think it's 120 a night. You're like, OK,
that's not a bad price. Then when you get done,
it's 180. That's bullshit because you just wasted
all this time trying to book something. And then
all of a sudden you look at it and go, wait a
minute. How come it's this high? It's a complete
waste of time because once I see it's that high,
I cancel it. I'm like, no. They lied to me, whether
I wanted to be there or not. If they lie to me
like that, I'm never doing business with them.
It's just, to me, it's outright lying. Yeah.
Anyhow, so the lodging tax... Was all of that
used for celebrations or just part of it? Well,
it was part of it. You know, they used it just
like the Raja Four Seasons at Margaritaville.
Uh -huh. Tantara used to do the same thing. Mm
-hmm. Memorial Day, Labor Day, every Fourth of
July, they would put off big fireworks displays.
Yeah. You know, you... Pull up on your boat on
the lake, sit and watch it, whatever, you know.
And it's always a big thing down here. It's like
celebration down here at Fireworks. All of the
lakes. All of the lakes. Stockton, Taneycomo,
Truman. Well, Truman's a reservoir. Target Air
has one. Yes. Table Rock has a few. Beaver Lake
has a big one. Yeah. They all have fireworks
displays, and these are all from these resorts
that are down there on the lake. And it's traditional,
like you said, all these lakes, people get in
there, they find their best spot that they can,
they know where the fireworks are going off,
and they anchor there, and they sit there, and
they watch the fireworks. I've done it many times.
It's a lot of fun. Or you can go by car, pull
up, set your lawn chairs and walk. True. Yep.
Yeah, that was fun, too. Is Camdenton having
any fireworks at all around it, or do you know?
Let's see. What's the name of that place? Oh,
I can't think of it right now. And usually, 4th
of July, there's fireworks everywhere. Oh, yeah.
All the lakes, and even the lakes up here. Longview
has one. Giacomo has one. Smithville has one.
So, that's okay, you know. I can't think of the
name of this one, right? Actually, it's on the
nine wall. Okay, the beautiful. Oh, shit, I can't
think of it. The beautiful. Oh, okay. Hmm, okay.
That's pretty cool. Okay, alright. That's cool.
All right, Rob, do you want to keep going or
do you want to end this? I've got to do one more.
All right. Let's see here. Okay. There's a guy
that didn't sit down for five days. Why, you
might ask? Well, here we go. Researchers recommend
standing for at least two to four hours during
the workday to reduce the health risks associated
with prolonged sitting. YouTuber, of course,
Lucas Ball, who goes by Pygmy, took that advice
to the extreme and decided not to sit for a week.
The rules of the experiment were clear. Ball
would lie down for exactly eight hours at night,
but he had to be upright the rest of the time.
That means in the bathroom he squatted over the
toilet and in the car he didn't let his bottom
touch the back seat. Prolonged sitting and lack
of physical activity have been correlated with
obesity and a cluster of obesity -related conditions,
Ball 34 said while kicking off his feet two years
ago. Sitting for such prolonged amounts of time
can result in back pain, spinal dysfunction,
joint degeneration, poor posture in the upper
back, neck and shoulders, as well as vascular
problems in the legs. Though he appreciated that
he could do the challenge alone and without pricey
equipment, he did purchase a bamboo standing
desk to ease the transition. That turned out
to be a good move. Ball found he was more productive
standing to work. He didn't have time to take
a breather and then get distracted. So he did
all this as a YouTube stunt, and he got a lot
of hits, and he got paid for it, you know. So,
I mean, he did what he set out to do. Outside
of the workday, he tried to stay moving to distract
himself from the fatigue that crept into his
legs and feet. He watched TV and ate dinner standing
up. He also ran errands by walking instead of
driving and tried to work out without sitting.
Day three is when things took a turn. It really
hit me in the lower legs and feet. I felt very
sore and tired, and I felt like my posture while
standing was starting to slack, Ball shared.
On top of this, I was also extremely hungry.
Maybe I was hungry from burning extra calories,
but one thing I noticed is that when I was eating,
it took my mind off of standing up, he added.
And particularly for this reason, I constantly
ate throughout the entire day. He couldn't wait
to lie down for his allotted eight hours. Eventually,
his sleep worsened because his legs felt so uncomfortable.
He spent hours tossing and turning while trying
to stretch them. Ball cut the challenge short
on day five and took stock of where he stood.
He noticed that he was slouching, his upper back
was rounded, and his butt popped more. It looks
like I'm starting to really form this slouched
over position, especially in the upper back.
So he cut all of this short, but he still did
five days. And the whole thing is, I know what
he's talking about, like, you know, the legs
keep moving and you feel like they're clotting
up and you get this tingly, it's kind of like
anxiety legs. And I think you have too, Rob.
You ever work like, I've done this before. I've
worked 15 hours in a row at my old job. Actually,
16 one time. When I got back to the hotel, I
couldn't stop moving my legs, even when I was
in bed. It's like something about your leg fatiguing.
It makes you move them. You can't really make
them stop. It took me a lot of the night to get
to sleep and have them quit moving. It was crazy.
They were tingly. They were jittery. Do you know
what I mean? Has that happened to you? Well,
yes. To me, it's more like they're falling asleep.
My legs, they fall asleep. I mean, I have poor
circulation, too. Okay. Well, mine was this.
When I sit down at night, yeah, my legs fall
asleep. I go to get up, and then they fall to
the floor because I can't support myself. Okay.
I think we do something. You're different than
me because if I'm up that long. but they will
sit there and like shake okay yeah now you're
getting where okay you're getting to what i am
it's just it's like the blood circulation's cut
off and also do you have this thing where they
kick it your feet would kick out just for no
reason you didn't control it it would just kick
out every now and then okay yeah okay um I don't
know what that's about, but I know what this
guy is talking about. I've never bothered to
look it up. But it only happens to me like if
I'm on my feet an excessive amount of time, you
know, more than eight hours, more than 10 hours.
You get more on to like the 12 and 13 hours.
And it does that. My feet will kick out on their
own when I'm laying down. You know, it'll be
like I'm kicking something, but I didn't try
to. And jittery, like you said. I consider it
like a muscle spasm. That's probably what it
is, Rob, actually. But it's not a lot of fun.
So I imagine this guy, he had a lot of rehab
after he did that. He still rehabbed a little
bit, and this is a couple years ago. So it really
screwed him up. And I can believe it. So that's
pretty much the end of that story. I could go
on, but I think we pretty much covered everything
that I wanted to on it. So, Rob, do you want
to keep going? Yeah, I got one final one here.
Okay. On Friday, May 9th, 2025, heavy metal icon
Lemmy Tillmister was immortalized in his hometown
of Mercer, Stoke -on -Trent, England. Yay. A
stunning new statue unveiled during the Lemmy
Forever Ceremony. Good. The emotional and celebrant...
celebratory event saw Motorhead guitarist Phil
Campbell personally place Lenny's ashes inside
the monument. Created by faith sculptor and lifelong
Motorhead fan Andy Edwards, the moment served
as a powerful tribute to the legendary Trump
fan nearly a decade after his death. Fans began
gathering in Ursuline Town Center around 4 p
.m. and were encouraged to make a day of it,
enjoying free victories at local pubs like the
Old Post Office Bar and Ale House, along with
big offerings such as a Motorhead Roast of the
Day at the Marketplace Cafe. The statues unveiling
was part of a full -scale community celebration.
Awesome. Yes, he does. Very cool, Rob. Very cool.
Thank you. That was a great story. All right.
All right. I guess we're going to wrap this up.
So, everybody, thank you for listening. Have
a good night, assholes. Good night, assholes.
Oh, no. Looks like the show's over, kids. Mark
has explosive diarrhea and can't afford a wireless
mic. Fear not, assholes. They'll be back invading
your ear holes soon.