The Sports Bastards. The only sports show with
gusto. That's right. I said gusto. Just like
Schlitz beer. Google it. Well, since the sports
show can't be called two douchebags with a microphone,
maybe we could just call them the Sports Bastards.
Your mom is so ugly. Her portraits have hanged
themselves. I have to readjust the gain here.
I was dinking with it. I think it'll be alright.
We'll just go along and I'll adjust the level
as we go. I'll blow out some people's ears along
the way. You know what I just realized? What's
that? I didn't bring all my papers with me. I'll
have the music keep stuff. Well, you know what?
I'll try to just... I'll figure it out. We'll
add lip. We'll make it work. Alright, we're doing
sports barstids first? Yes. Alrighty. We'll leave
the condom on the microphone there because we've
got a little bit of wind. A little bit of wind.
Yeah. So, let me turn up our headphones, Ted.
I'm recording all this so you can clip it out
if you want to later. I don't care. Okay, that's
cool. No big deal. You know what? I mean, I'll
probably just leave it in because that's what
we do. It's just kind of au naturel. Yeah, yep.
So, we're not wearing makeup today. Yes. I took
out the piercings that don't show. Yes. Now there's
just a hole there. Yes. So, let's see here. We
have a lot of scheduling that's out. Yeah, we
do. The whole schedule comes out tonight. Yeah,
yeah. But these are the highlights. They do like
they always do. The NFL gives you a little teaser
of the highlights, like the international games.
You can move the mic more towards you because
I'm louder. Oh, okay. That's probably a good
thing. Yeah. But yeah, the international games
are always good to find out where that's going
to be. And then they tell you who your opponents
are going to be. Then they tell you your home
and away opponents. And then they actually give
you the weekends and the dates so you can start
planning your out -of -town trips to see your
team. Yeah. Okay, the Chargers will begin the
2025 International Games during week one in Sao
Paulo, Brazil at the Corinthians Arena. The opponent
for this game will be announced on May 14th,
but we already know it's the Chiefs. Oh, I didn't
know that. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I had seen that.
It said opponent to be determined, time to be
determined, date to be determined, etc., etc.,
but it's on YouTube for free. Yes. Yeah, so all
you've got to do is, you know, I mean, you'll
need a smart TV, of course. Yeah. If you've got
a smart TV, download YouTube and get it on there.
Yeah. YouTube is starting to get into the business
of football because they're really getting into
the business of television. Yeah, yeah. And they're
going to have to put the – either they have or
they're going to put the money into their infrastructure
so they don't have games crapping out like –
Was it last year YouTube had trouble and so did
Amazon Prime? Yeah. With the games they were
carrying, there was a lot of stuttering and glitches.
So that's not going to fly with a lot of people.
No. And as far as charging, I don't think Netflix
is charging this year either. As long as you
have Netflix, yeah. Well, yeah, if you have Netflix,
you've got to have it. At least YouTube is free
from the get -go. Free to download, free to watch.
You've just got to put up with the ads and the
interruptions. But like Netflix, Amazon Prime
Video, Hulu, those are ones you start with a
monthly fee. Yeah. Whoa. Oh, that pigeon was
dive -bombing. Got strafed there. Whoa. Oh, another
one. Here comes his wingman. Or, I'm sorry, wing
person. Wing person, yeah. Bad. Toxic male talk
right there. Yeah, I'm misgendered and a bird.
Okay. Let's see. I'm just going to go through
these here. All right. The Black Friday game,
a Saturday doubleheader, a Christmas Day showcase,
and an international game slate unveiling. Wednesday
will reveal the remainder of the 272 regular
season games with the official release set for
8 p .m. Eastern time on Wednesday. And that's
today, but it's not released yet. It's in the
morning here. All right, and the official release
is going to come at 8 p .m., 7 p .m. our time
tonight. That's when all of it comes out. Like
usual, you hear a lot of leaks and stuff coming
out. They do that on purpose. Okay, so here are
the latest rumors, leaks, and updates about the
NFL 2025 schedule. Okay, NFL schedule leaks.
Falcons and Bucs are to meet in week one. Nice.
The source is Zach Klein at WSB. I guess that's
a radio station. No, it might be a TV station.
Yeah. Washington State Broadcasting. There you
go. Just made that up. Okay, sounds great. We'll
go with that until we get corrected. Yeah. And
believe me, someone will if they know better.
Yes. All right. The Atlanta Falcons will host
the Tampa Bay Buccaneers on their Cesar opening,
according to Sports Director Zach Klein of Atlanta's
ABC affiliate, WSB -TV. I like how they're putting
division rivals in opening week. I like that.
Especially since you can't do much in preseason.
It really puts a lot on the line. It does. And
also another thing that has a lot of beauty about
it is one team is automatically in the hole and
one team is automatically in first place. Yes.
That's a smart move. Division standings matter
from the very first week. Yes, I love that. That's
smart. That's smart business right there. Yeah,
that is. All right, the next one here. We're
going to have to run a low -pass filter on our
high -pass filter to get all these low rumbles
out of this. Seems like everybody with bass frequencies
is stopping by to rumble our microphone. At least
that one earlier is no longer here. Yeah. Oh,
my gosh. All right. The Giants, they said they're
having a pretty bad opening stretch here. We're
sensing a theme developing in week one on the
heels of the interdivision Eagles -Cowboys battle
of the season opener Thursday night. That'll
be fun. Yes. Green Bay Packers will host Detroit
Lions on Sunday, September 7th, the opening week.
So we have Thursday night's game, which is going
to be the Eagles and Cowboys. Yeah, I'll actually
watch that. I will too. I usually don't watch
Cowboy games, but I'm going to watch that. Yeah,
the Chiefs are going to be playing the Cowboys
on Thanksgiving Day at AT &T Stadium, so that
ought to be good. I always like Chiefs and Cowboys
because we both started out as Dallas teams.
As Dallas teams. Yeah. And it's funny, I guess
they're still there, but there used to be at
the old stadium, Irving, Texas, I forgot the
name of it, Cowboys Stadium or whatever. I don't
remember either. There used to be people with
Chiefs uniforms on because they were Texans fans
and they moved. Yeah. All right, let's see here
what's next. The Packers in Detroit, like I said,
September 7th. So right there, you're going to
have a really good matchup. Yeah. If the Packers
want to pound their chest and say we're there,
they need to come out open and win. True, true.
And if Detroit says we don't care, we're the
number one, we had a little hiccup last year.
and the year before but this is a year we're
going to go all the way then they're going to
have to come out and you know put a foot on somebody's
got to make a big statement in that game and
that's going to be week one so uh washington
commanders in week one the dallas cowboys uh
in week two and this is a giant schedule uh a
home opener against the kansas city chiefs in
week three and a class for the Los Angeles Chargers
in week four. That's not so easy. No, the Giants
are looking at another great draft pick, I'm
saying. Yeah, unfortunately. Sorry, Giants fan.
You know what, I don't think they're expecting
much anyhow. And really, shouldn't they be rebuilding
and retooling and changing things? I spoke with
a few Giants fans. There's a lot of New Yorkers
on the boat. Yeah. And they all feel like they
are so far away that they're not even keeping
track. Yeah, I remember being there with the
Chiefs. Yeah, I do too. They don't really have
any hope in the team doing much better than 500
at best. Yeah. And that's all they're looking
at. There were some years back there in the late
70s, early 80s, where the Chiefs were so bad,
I would actively root against them. making the
playoffs because I thought playoffs? They don't
deserve it. They're going to get eliminated in
the first round. They have no chance. And I don't
want them feeling that good about themselves.
Hey, we made it to the postseason. No, you're
not good enough. I want you to go into the postseason
thinking we need to get a shit ton better. I
remember the Chiefs used to do that too. They
backed their way into the postseason and really
thought that was something. And then the front
office would think, okay, we're on the right
track. Let's not change anything. And I would
get so frustrated. It's like, you're damn right
you didn't. You didn't change anything at all,
and that's a problem. Yeah. Anyway, sidetracked.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. We got sidetracked. We
always do that, don't we? It's fun. All right.
NFL International Games announced. The league
announced seven international games across five
countries in 2025. Games will be played across
Europe. in Dublin, Ireland, London, United Kingdom,
Berlin, Germany, and Madrid, Spain. So they are
going all over the place on here. I still think
they're missing the boat and not putting a lot
of games in Mexico City. I think you're right,
too. They did that with the Chiefs one time.
One time, yeah. That was it. I guess that scared
the NFL enough. Something must have happened
security -wise that they weren't happy about,
and they just decided not to go back. But I still
think that's an enormous untapped market. It
is. I agree. Okay, so the... I've got a list
of the international games we like to go through.
The Eagles and Packers face off in Week 10 on
a Monday Night Football clash. Let's see. Anyhow,
my notes here somehow got jumbled up pretty bad.
You have some of this, don't you? Yeah, yeah.
For the international games, you mentioned the
Chargers against the presumably Chiefs. Uh -huh.
For the rest of the games, all of them are going
to be at 9 .30 a .m. Eastern and on the NFL Network
and NFL Plus. Okay. So in week four, September
28th, we have Minnesota versus Pittsburgh at
Croke Park in Dublin, Ireland. And then Minnesota
hangs out for a week. And they play again there?
And play again. They play versus Cleveland, only
they move to Tottenham's. Hotspur Stadium in
London, UK in week five. So they go to Ireland
to London, UK. First they play Pittsburgh, then
Cleveland. So apparently the NFC North is playing
the AFC North this year. Okay. Next game on week
six. So we got four, five, six. October 12th.
No. Yeah, October 12th. It's Denver versus the
Jets, also at Tottenham Hotspur Stadium in UK,
London, UK. Very next week, the Los Angeles Rams
versus Jacksonville at Wembley Stadium, London,
UK. That's October 19th. I find it interesting
that they're still promoting Jacksonville so
much. Yeah. It's a terrible football market.
They were there twice last year, wasn't there?
Yeah. It's a terrible football market, and they're
a terrible team. I don't get the rah -rah, but
anyhow. Yeah. They do seem to be taking a fair
number of East Coast teams, which lessens the
jet lag by a little bit. Uh -huh. But then in
Week 7, okay, we got Week 7. And then they skip
to Week 10, Atlanta versus Indianapolis in Olympic
Stadium, Berlin, Germany, November 9th. And then
the final. International game is Washington versus
Miami in Santiago Bernabeu Stadium, Madrid, Spain,
week 11, November 16th. Oh, okay. So some interesting
matchups. Yeah. And the article that I was looking
at was making a big deal about how Minnesota
was getting a twofer. And I thought, well, so
did Jacksonville last year. They didn't say a
thing about that. But this year, it's a big deal.
It's being promoted as special. Okay. Interesting.
And Minnesota's one of those teams that I could
see going either way this year. Let's move this
over for a windbreak. Yeah, they could definitely
take a step back and nobody would be surprised.
Yeah. I think that they overachieved last year,
which is going to make them look worse this year.
Yeah. So we'll see what happens. So I have...
Some NFL rules that are odd, unusual, or sometimes
difficult to understand, but they're still in
the books. Okay, sounds good. And I've got the
perspective list for Offensive Rookie of the
Year and Defensive Rookie of the Year from ESPN.
Okay. And I have each NFL team's biggest current
need, their most improved area, and where they
stand in the power rankings as of the end of
pre -agency. Okay. So which one would you like?
Power rankings and free agency. All right. Power
rankings. Oh, right at the top it says Derek
Carr retires at age 34. Oh, yeah, that's right.
Who was surprised by that? Nobody. Nobody. All
right, here we go. Starting off with Buffalo.
This is according to ESPN. Their most improved
area. is the D -line. Their biggest need right
now is outside wide receiver, I guess, as opposed
to a slot receiver. I guess, okay. And as of
post -free agency, they're ranked number four.
So they did pretty good. We knew they needed
receivers. Yeah, we did. Next up, we have Miami.
Their biggest need right now is a slot receiver.
And their most improved area is defensive tackle.
And they're currently ranked 18th. Okay. I can
kind of see that. Yeah, I do too. I guess they
made some improvements to O -line because I would
have thought they need to concern themselves
there. That's what I thought too. Protecting
the quarterback should be a high priority. But
I guess they've already addressed that. I guess
so. Okay. All right, next up, New England. Their
biggest need is depth at corner. So they got
two good starters, but that's it. Okay. Their
most improved area, D -tackle, and their ranking
is 24th. Okay. Is May still their quarterback?
Yeah. Okay. Drake May, I think. Drake May, that's
it. I keep trying to call him Derek May. I do
too. Drake May, yeah. Okay, Drake May looked
okay. Yeah. He looked teachable. He looked teachable,
yeah. Yeah, he didn't look lost. He looked like
he needed a little help. I can believe that.
That sounds pretty much on par with probably
what I was thinking. What about you? Yeah, I'd
say so. They were having a lot of defensive issues
last year, and they lost. Every team loses players
during the offseason. There are a number of teams
on this list that need depth at corner, so they're
all going to be fighting each other. Yep. Yeah.
Next up, we have the Jets. Their biggest need,
quarterback. We knew that. Yeah. But on the plus
side, their biggest improvement has been at O
-line. So when they get the quarterback, chances
are he's going to get hurt. Yeah. And currently
they're ranked 27th. out of 32 is power ranking.
That's about right. Baltimore, their biggest
need is left guard. Left guard specifically.
Left guard specifically. I thought they re -signed
their left guard. Maybe they didn't. I don't
think so. Was it Tunsell? Yeah, I think so. Didn't
he go? Yeah, Tunsell went somewhere. Oh, okay.
Okay, I thought, yeah. All right, well then,
yeah. And their most improved area is their pass
defense as a whole. Okay. Their power ranking
is number five. So they're right up there still.
Yeah. Get them a left guard and they're good
to go. Okay, there we go. Yeah. Did they say
anything about the draft? Did they address it
in the draft possibly? I'd have to look up their
draft. This is supposedly factoring in retirements,
free agency, and draft. Okay. And then coming
up with where they sit right now. Okay. Cincinnati,
their biggest need is safety. No, their biggest
need is safety. Most improved area is running
back. And they're listed as number seven in the
power rankings. That surprised me. That surprised
me. They are up a little high, especially with
their linebacker holding out and pissed off.
Hendrickson. Hendrickson, yes. Yeah, he says,
I'm not playing under this current deal. Yeah.
That right there kind of takes them down because
they don't know if he's going to play. If he
doesn't play, that's a significant change. That's
a big hole. Yeah. That's a very big hole. Yeah,
so. I think ranking them number seven is a little
high myself, too. Yeah, I would, too. Look at
their performance last year. I mean, I know they
finished strong, but it doesn't matter. Yeah,
that was last year. Yeah, that was last year,
yeah. So, but apparently they really think they've
got it sealed up at running back. So, we'll see
what their stable of running backs can do. I
think it's high, but okay. Next up, Cleveland.
Biggest need, wide receiver. Most improved area,
running back. They're ranked number 30. I guess
number 30 out of 32 teams sounds about right.
Yeah. And their biggest need is a running back?
No, the most improved area is running back. Oh,
running back. Biggest need is wide receiver.
Just across the board, they need receivers. What
about quarterback? They got Shadur Sanders. I
think they're counting on him to be all exciting.
I think they realistically have to let him start
his rookie season if he looks decent preseason.
Oh, yeah, absolutely. I think the fans, the fan
base, and everybody's just like, yeah, you've
got to put this guy in. He's guaranteed ratings,
and let's see what he can do. And imagine all
the times they're going to get to cut up to the
sideline or the press box and show Dad beaming
proudly or throwing his hands up. I mean, it's
amazingly great television. And what a good way
to get kind of like back in the good graces of
the Joe fan. Yeah, instead of Taylor Swift up
there in the press box, it's primetime. So Joe
Sixpack will be all on board with that. Yeah,
and they need a switch -up. They need a switch
-up from that. I mean, it was just getting stale.
Of course, Deion's got his own head coaching
job he's going to be doing on Saturdays, but
on Sundays he'll probably be there watching his
son play. yeah yep i would hope so and that would
be like you said a great marketing tool absolutely
neon dion out there neon junior neon junior thankfully
no one is calling him that yet if i was him i
would stay away from all cliche nicknames right
now i would be all business yep yeah so yeah
it was pretty awful when patrick mohomes dubbed
himself showtime oh i know cringe finally they
kind of like Did away with that somehow. Yeah.
But he doesn't need a nickname. No. He doesn't
need one. No, he did not need one. All right.
Pittsburgh Steelers. Their biggest need right
now is quarterback. Yeah. Trying to figure that.
This is as of Aaron Rodgers still not deciding
what he's going to do. I still think that he's
holding out to not have to go to all the mini
camps. And the training. And the training and
all that. I agree. I think it's just a show.
People already think he's like a prima donna
anyhow. Yeah. So, I mean, he's probably like,
you know what, I don't want to go to any of these
camps, but I don't want people to, you know,
I want to kind of disguise it. I don't want to
sign and hold out. I just want to pretend I haven't
signed yet. Yeah. So I'm still mulling it over,
you know, and I might very well go there or I
might not. So I think later on you're going to
see him come up and go, ah, okay, I guess I'll
play one more year. Yeah. Like he's doing them
a favor. Yeah, yes. That's just my opinion on
it. Yeah. Pittsburgh's most improved area is
the defensive line, and they're ranked 17 in
the power rankings. Midway, that's not bad for
needing a quarterback. No, it's not bad for needing
a quarterback. And also, didn't they make the
playoffs last year? Yes, I believe they did.
Oh, the Chiefs. No, no, no. Was it Baltimore?
Yeah, I think so. I think Baltimore played it.
Yeah. So, I mean, I think 17 is probably true
without a quarterback. If they get a quarterback,
they'll probably raise quite a bit. Yeah, I would
say. Yeah. All right, next up we have the Houston
Texans. Their biggest need is guard, both sides,
both guards. They need them. So they're going
to be fighting with who else? Baltimore needs
a left guard, so Texans are going to be fighting
with them on the guards. On the guards. Houston's
most improved area is the entire secondary. They
listed it as a group, the whole secondary. Corners,
safeties, everybody. That's their most improved
area. That's kind of scary in a way. That is
kind of scary. And they're ranked at 13 in the
power rankings. So higher than Pittsburgh. I
think they should be even higher than that. I
think they should probably be ahead of Cincinnati.
I would think so. They're ahead of Miami, which
is right. Which is right. But, yeah, I think
Houston could definitely do better than Cincinnati
this season. Yeah, I mean, C .J. Stroud is learning
more as he goes. He's not a bad quarterback.
He looks like he has a lot of upside. And then
you have a really good defense combined with
a very well -balanced offense. Yeah. And we'll
see what the relocation thing is, if that's a
distraction in Cincinnati. Are they going to
move to Chicago? Are they going to move to St.
Louis? Are they getting a new stadium? The last
thing I heard was that the stadium had made some
concessions on some improvements and upgrades,
but that still doesn't mean they're staying.
No, that's true. But they're not talking about
it anymore. Which is concerning. If I was a Natty
fan and wanted to be Natty, then I would be very
concerned about this because it's just kind of
like they threw up their hair and said, whatever,
and then they're going to. Yeah, I mean, here
in Kansas City, we get. At least once a week
there's some story about the Chiefs and the Royals.
Will they play here? Will they play downtown?
Will they cross the state line to Wyandotte County
or Jackson County? Yeah. We still hear about
it, but nationally I'm not hearing anything on
Cincinnati anymore. Yeah, and also you hear about
the push for the Missouri legislator to come
up with money and all this and different financial
plans to fund the stadiums. Yeah. Because they're
going to Missouri now going, hey, St. Louis.
doesn't have a football team. You know, we need
one in Missouri. You want to keep us in Missouri.
Yeah. So we'll see what happens with that. You
don't want to be a state without a football team.
You really don't. I mean, then you're in Iowa
and Nebraska territory. Yeah, Oklahoma. Oklahoma,
yeah. Nevada. Oh, wait, they have the Raiders,
but that almost doesn't count. That doesn't count.
Actually, we can't bash on the Raiders anymore
like that because they've improved remarkably.
They got Pete Carroll. And a really good draft.
And Tom Brady. Tom Brady hovering around somewhere.
They got rid of Gardner Minshew. Yeah, they did.
We got him. We got him, yeah. But, you know,
as far as a backup, I like him as a backup. I
do, too. He's a guy that can come in and win
you a game or two, and then, you know, and then
you go, hopefully, oh, this is bad. Yeah. He's
like the relief pilot that can keep you on course
and isn't going to crash you until the real pilot
comes back. He's like the guy when you're trying
to back your trailer into your driveway. Yes,
yes. Yeah, and then, you know, you realize you
can't do it, then he comes in and jumps in. That's
Gardner Minshew, and actually he was on one of
those commercials, wasn't he? I think he was,
yeah. I think he was, too. Okay. Like the pilot
when you bring your ship into port. The captain
of the ship stands aside, and the pilot comes,
who's completely familiar with the harbor and
the port and everything, and he's the one who
drives your boat in because he knows more than
the captain does. It's not exactly Gardner Minshew,
but you kind of get the idea. Yeah, but a lot
of people don't know that that's what a pilot
boat is for. Yeah, yeah. They're not guiding
the ship. They're taking it. So, anyhow. I learned
that when I watched... the miniseries Shogun,
and they kept calling the guy Pilot. Partly it's
because they couldn't pronounce his name Blackthorn.
They referred to him as the man with the impossible
name. Fair enough. But they called him Pilot
because I think that was what he used to do.
Pilot ships in the last, you know, whatever.
Okay. I have to watch that show again. There's
a remake of Shogun. Really? Yeah. Okay. The book
was pretty brutal. Anyway, back to football.
Let's go to Indianapolis. Their biggest need
is center. It's interesting how they get so specific.
Yeah. I know. That's what I'm thinking, too.
I mean, I would think quarterback would run among
there, too. I mean, I don't know. I guess they
need centers worse. They still have Richardson
or Richard or whatever. Richardson, yeah. Richardson,
yeah. Is that their main guy? I guess by default,
but people are still talking about how he quit
on them last season. Yeah. He ran around and
got tired and took himself out. Yeah. I thought
that that would be the end of him doing that.
I thought so, too, but oh, well. Okay. All right,
a center to protect someone that doesn't want
to play when things get tough. Yeah. Okay. Indy's
most improved area is tight end. I'll have to
look up and see who they signed. They're ranked
23rd overall. Behind Miami. Yeah, I think I'd
agree with that. Because they were a team hovering
around 500. Yeah. Next up, Jacksonville. They
need depth at edge rushers. I guess they have
one or two, but they need more. Okay. Because
you're going to wear guys out. They're going
to get injured, et cetera, et cetera. Their most
improved area is the offensive line, which is
good news for Captain Hippie there in Jacksonville.
Trevor Lawrence. Trevor Lawrence, yeah. I do
like his hair. He's got cool hair. You know,
he looks like a fun guy to hang around. He probably
is. But I wouldn't want him being my quarterback.
No, no. They're ranked 28th in the power rankings,
pretty low. Yeah, they probably should be too.
Yeah, I think part of that is because Lawrence
is coming back from a season -ending injury to
his head. Yeah, which that guy should have went
to jail. Absolutely. So, you know, who knows
what kind of guy Trevor Lawrence is going to
be this season after that head injury. I mean,
he already wasn't what they thought he was going
to be. Yeah, the word on him was he really hasn't
gotten any better than he was in college. He's
kind of the same guy. Yeah. We'll see. We'll
see how it works. Tennessee, their biggest need
is inside linebacker. Their most improved area
is offensive line. But see, they had Will Levis
last year, but now they have Cam Ward too. Is
Will Levis a guy that you want Cam Ward to learn
from? Or do you just take him out and put in
Cam Ward? I think what I would do. I would let
Will Levis continue to start, but not be the
mentor. Okay. I don't think he's been in the
league long enough to do any kind of mentoring
at all. Yeah. And I would put Cam Ward in as
soon as possible this season. I agree. Like week
three, week four. I think that's probably about
right. Yeah. Yeah. They're ranked 31st in the
power ranking, so they've got pretty much nowhere
to go but up. They've got a vastly improved offensive
line. It's a good time to put in a rookie quarterback.
Yeah. That's what I'd do. I think that's probably
about right because you don't want to throw him
in early and ruin him. Yeah. But at the same
point, you know, it would be good to see him
get in there and earn it by having great practices
and learning the defenses and all that. So then
it would be like, well, we didn't just throw
him in there. He earned it. I mean, he's over
there doing everything right while Levis is just
being kind of Levis. That's what I'd like to
see happen in Cleveland, too. I would, too. Have
Sanders clearly win the starting job in preseason
and exhibition football. They don't like it when
you call it exhibition. They like preseason football.
They like preseason. That's how they can charge
you for it. When is Deshaun Watson coming back
officially? Because I believe he is canned. From
what everybody's saying. Yeah. He's gone. They're
probably waiting for his injury to clear up,
and then they'll make it official. There's probably
some reason not to do it while he's injured.
Yeah. And then, let's see, there was another
– there was a running back, I think for the Giants
maybe, but he got injured last season. He's going
to miss all this season too. Okay. I'll have
to look that up. But that's kind of odd to think
that you – We've just finished free agency, and
there's somebody who's already out for the season.
Oops. Okay. All right, Denver. They need a number
two wide receiver. Yeah, they do. Yeah. Bo Nix
looks great, but he's going to look even better
with another wide receiver to open up that offense
a little bit more. They have some of a running
game. I mean, yeah, I agree with them. Yeah.
They say their most improved area is the entire
secondary. Again, scary for the Chiefs. Again.
And they rank them number 12 in the power rankings.
That sounds about right. Yeah. I mean, they're
a team ascending. They're not descending. Yeah,
definitely on the way up. All right, Kansas City.
Biggest need is left guard still. Yeah. I guess
we've taken care of the tackle position to at
least some degree. To some degree. Now, the left
guard, I mean, you know, not only did we draft.
But also, I think they had a supplementary draft
where they got another guy, and they signed a
couple other people too. They're hedging their
bet on a variety of people so they could just
put them in if one doesn't work or if one isn't
ready. Yeah, we've got some unknowns right now,
which is why it's still listed as a position
of need. It's not as if they haven't addressed
it. We just don't know how it's going to work
out yet. I agree with that, too. And we still
have people from last year that could come in
and plug in if they're getting better. Yeah,
yeah. And I think the whole object is they want
an offensive line that doesn't cost as much but
is effective. Yeah, yeah. And the only way you
can do that is build through the draft, which
they have the last two years. True. Yeah. The
most improved area for the Chiefs is listed as
wide receiver. Yes. I'd say so. And that's not
even necessarily anything they've done this year.
Well, Royals. Yeah, and Rice coming back. And
Rice coming back. Yeah. Yeah, and that's what
I meant by not necessarily everything they've
done this year because Rice is going to be hopefully
back and not injured in the same way with Hollywood.
Yeah. Brown, so. And Worthy. Yeah. Yeah, having
him show throughout the season, he learned to
tell where he was in relation to the sideline.
Uh -huh. There were a couple of times that he
prioritized getting his feet down rather than
catching the ball. Once he started learning that,
he started getting much better. Yeah, he improved
and improved and improved. It was nice. I read
an article about Kelsey, Travis Kelsey. He lost
30 pounds. Whoa. I thought he was looking slimmer.
He is on a mission. he's going to be faster and
he's not going to hurt as much because his body
is not having to move around that extra 30 pounds.
Yeah, so he's going to be faster, slimmer, and
he's probably going to get over 1 ,000 yards
again. Oh, that'd be nice. I mean, he hasn't
the last couple of years, but I see him having
to come back here for his final year. Yeah, yeah.
And another Super Bowl run for his final year.
Hopefully a ring. Yeah, hopefully a ring. Of
course, we always want a ring here in KC. Yeah.
I mean, we're greedy. Of course. Yeah. We've
been without for a long time, and after this
run, we're going to be without again. For a long
time, so yeah. We're going to enjoy the snot
out of this, no matter what people say. Ask New
England right now. Yeah. Ask how they feel. Uh
-huh. Dallas used to be a big powerhouse every
year. Yeah, Dallas is. Yep. So. Dallas can't.
We come and we go. Yes. Dallas can't get out
of their own way, and that's because Jerry Jones.
Yep. So, I mean. Hiring Brian Schottenheimer.
He wanted a hand puppet. He got it. You got a
guy that wouldn't have a job in football unless
he kisses Jones' ass and does everything he says.
Yeah. Yikes. Next up, we have Las Vegas Raiders.
Their biggest need is outside linebacker. Their
most improved area quarterback. Big Geno Smith.
You keep asking these questions that I don't
know. I'm sorry. I think they got Geno Smith.
I think so, too. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, Pete Carroll
likes him. Yeah, that's true. And done well with
him. They're still ranked 26 overall. But I think
that's going to change. Or I think they're going
to finish a lot better than 26. I think so, too.
Yeah. I understand why they put him there, though.
Because... Their team is still freshly in that
losing mode. Yeah, it is. It's going to take
a while to get out of that culture by an abundance
of other people besides who they have. So, yeah,
I get it. But I think there will probably be
more middle of the pack by the time it's over.
Yeah, I think so. Yeah, they're going to have
some games where people are going to go, wow,
Raiders are back. They're going to have some
games like, no, they're not. Yeah, that's true.
Yeah. No, that's true. I think so. I think you're
right. Next up, we have the Chargers. Their biggest
need is center. Okay. I'm seeing a lot of linemen
needed in this biggest improvement running back,
and they're ranked 11th. We've got a tough division
here. Yeah, we do. I was just thinking that.
I'm like, geez, if we go 600 in the division,
I'm going to consider that a very good season.
Yeah. If we only lose like two games out of the
six, I'll be happy with that. What about you?
Yeah. Yeah, I think those road games are going
to be tough. Yeah. Well, I mean, look at them.
I think I've mentioned this before, but look
at all of the money spent to counteract Reed
and Mahomes. Yeah. I mean, Pete Carroll, Super
Bowl winner. Yeah. Tried and true. Yeah. Sean.
Peyton, Super Bowl winner. Tom Brady, multiple,
multiple Super Bowl winners. Multiple, multiple.
And then we go to Jim Harbaugh, who was in the
Super Bowl and is really excellent at working
quarterbacks. So this whole division. spent a
lot of money and put a lot of big names in key
places to try to counteract our formula. So it's
going to work to a degree, maybe not all the
way, but I expect the Chiefs to lose a couple
this year in our division. Yeah, yeah. What was
the last year was 15 -2? Yeah. Yeah, we're not
getting close to that again. And besides that,
I see every division like that now. Every division's
stacked up because they're... Until they show
us, you know, because... There's going to be
somebody by week six, you're like, oh, look how
crappy they're playing. Yeah, and it could be
anybody. I mean, last year it was Cincinnati.
And New Orleans fell off the shelf last year.
Yeah, New Orleans did. Okay. Next up, Cowboys.
Biggest need is depth at corner. Okay. So, words
out there, you can pass on Dallas. Yeah. Most
improved at edge rusher, and they're ranked 21st
in the league. 21st sounds about right. It does
sound about right. And they got Dak Prescott
back, so. I'm sorry, Dak, even before he was
injured last year, he's lost some. He does look
different now. Yeah. Yeah, I think the spark
is gone maybe or the trust or something. Yeah,
I think that he doesn't believe in himself anymore
or something. I don't know. Or doesn't believe
in the team, which is very possible. He has the
look of somebody who needs a fresh start somewhere.
I think he really does. Yeah, I think so. Okay.
Okay, the New York football giants. Biggest need
is tight end. That's a pretty important position.
Yeah, it is very important. Yeah. I can believe
that, too. The most improved area is quarterback.
They drafted Jackson Dart. Yeah. But they are
still ranked 32, dead last. Well, I can see that.
I could, too. Cam Ward was supposed to be the
prize out of this draft. But that didn't always
work out. I mean, ask Chicago. Yeah. Yeah, I
mean, starting with Trubisky and leaving Mahomes
on the board. Yeah. But. Someone picked Deshaun
Watson before, you know. Yeah. And they didn't
pick Shador Sanders because he and his dad had
already said, we're not playing for the Giants
over and over and over. So everyone's like, oh,
they passed on him. Well, of course they passed
on him. Yeah, the guy said he's not going to
play for you. Why in the hell would you? I would
question the Giants' sanity if they drafted him.
No kidding. Yeah. Because then you're going to
be like San Diego back in the day with Ryan Leaf
and all the Peyton Manning and all of that. Was
it Peyton Manning? No, no, no. It was Eli Manning.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and they dealt Eli to New York
because Eli said, I'm not playing for the Chargers.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that was the year Peyton Manning
went number one to click to Indy. Yeah. And Ryan
Leaf went number two to... Chargers. Yeah, that's
right. So to avoid a big hubbub like that, you
don't draft him. You're like, okay. Drama. All
right, next up, Philadelphia. Their biggest need
is a number three wide receiver. Wow. That's
not bad if that's your biggest need. Just somebody
to spell the number one and number two guys.
He's not even a slot receiver. He's just the
guy to spell. Damn. Their most improved is their
linebacking core. Apparently all across the board.
And they're ranked number two in the league right
behind the Chiefs. And there's a lot of people
who are going to say Philadelphia should be one
and Chiefs should be two or less. They lost a
lot of defense. The Eagles lost a lot of defensive
help. Yeah. So I can see them putting them on
two, so I kind of agree with that. Yeah. To me,
the teams are dead even right now. Pretty close,
yeah. We'll see. Yeah. I think ranking them that
high is definitely what should have been. Yeah.
I'm not surprised at the result. No, I'm not
either. This next one I'm a little surprised
at. Washington Commanders, their biggest need
is depth at linebacker. Yeah. Most improved is
the offensive line. Great news for Jayden Daniels.
Yeah. And they're ranked number six. That's pretty
high. I think they're going to take a step back.
I do too. I don't think they're going to finish
at number six. No. They're assuming Jaden Daniels
is going to continue on the path that he did.
Yeah, but there's always that sophomore jinx.
Yep. Only the greatest of the greats do keep
doing that on the sophomore jinx. That would
be like Mahomes or, you know. I mean, even Brady,
his sophomore, was kind of, okay, I guess he's
good enough to stay in there. We'll see. I think
they're more like probably 12. But that's okay.
I would love to see it because Dan Snyder no
longer owns the team. Yeah, I want them to have
lots of success that was denied to Dan Snyder
because he's such an awful human being. I think
that's awesome. Good little slap in the face.
Yes. Next up, Chicago. Their biggest need also
is depth at linebacker. Their biggest improvement
is offensive line. Good news for Caleb Williams.
Yeah. And they're ranked 22nd out of the league.
That's about where I would put them. I think
that's pretty close. Yeah, just under half. Yeah.
Just a little lower than halfway. Okay. This
next one surprises me a little bit. Detroit.
Their biggest need is depth at edge rusher. Yeah.
Most improved is the O -line. And they're ranked
number three right behind Philly. I don't agree
with that at all. I don't either. I don't think
that's quite it. They're still a pretty young
team and a pretty young coach. That loss last
year and the year before wasn't a fluke. Yeah.
There are some key areas that need to be addressed.
And one of them is quarterback. Yeah. Jared Goff
is not that guy. He can win you a lot of regular
season games. But when you get into when it really
matters, he's not there. Yeah. And that's because
they rush him so bad that he is prone to throwing
mistakes. He is, yeah. And it's funny, this ranking
and the listing, they're only talking about players
and not coaching because when the Lions got blown
out in the playoffs last year, that was coaching.
Yes. That's a deficiency in coaching. It's a
shame that they don't. factor that in. Dan Campbell
is a hell of a coordinator, but I don't know
about being a head coach. Yeah, if he delegates
enough to make the system work, then he's not
really head coach anymore because he's delegated
it all away. He's got to delegate most of his
job away and just do what he's good at. Andy
Reid's offense is Andy Reid's offense. He doesn't
give too much to Matt Nagy and he didn't give
too much to the enemy. But defense, have at it.
And that's because he knows his strengths, he
stays with him, and he doesn't know defense,
so he gets someone that does. Dan Campbell, I
think, might have a little bit too much influence
over the whole team, and I think that maybe he
needs to give up some of his thoughts and ways
to people. He needs to bring in like a Spagnuolo
or something like that, someone that's got a
definite path of winning and is considered one
of the top in the defenses. And offenses, but
especially offense, because I don't know if you
can get Jared Goff on the right track ever to
win a Super Bowl. Right. But you can have this
guy draft the guy. You can say, hey, we want
you to identify the guy. We're going to move
up or whatever. Yeah. And we want that guy. What
would you think about them bringing in an advisor,
someone that Campbell respects and will take
advice from? Yeah. Kind of like Brady's advising
the Raiders along that line. And I've heard of
other instances where they bring an advisor in.
Bill Belichick may not have a job here. Oh, yeah,
that's right. He may not. Yeah. Boy, that went
the hell quick, didn't it? Yeah, let's sideline
for a moment and talk about that. That sounds
good. It started with that disastrous interview
for CBS where his girlfriend kept butting in
and saying, we're not answering that question,
you know, move on to something else. They only
aired one of her interruptions, but they said
she interrupted multiple times. Of course, Belichick
denies it because, you know, he wants to keep
screwing her. She also was on the field for the
spring practice. Not just in the stands watching
or in the press, on the field. Who else gets
to bring their girlfriend to spring practice?
He already tarnished his legacy by getting rid
of Brady. His own doing. He wanted to get the
next guy. He never could find the next guy. So
he isn't quite the wizard that people thought
he was. And also, I think it's going to be looked
at later on, too, is they're going to be like,
well, Andy Reid, he was winning before. He won
with all sorts of quarterbacks. Yeah, with all
sorts. Donovan McNabb. Belichick has only ever
won with Brady. So I think Andy Reid should be
ahead of Belichick. I would say so, yeah. And
this stuff right here is really hurting it even
more. It's like, not only did that guy probably
not have as much to do with the winning and the
dynasty as people thought, but also, he doesn't
make good judgments in real life. Yeah, he's
coming off as a pathetic old man who... All he
wants to do is put his wiener in this 24 -year
-old, and he's willing to do anything to do it.
Anything for it. And that's the problem right
there. He should have a little bit more self
-respect than that. I'm kidding. He'd be like,
I'm not going to do that. The University of North
Carolina has hired a PR consultant in media relations,
go -between, for Bill Belichick. Belichick didn't
get to hire him. The university hired him and
said, Belichick, everything you say and do goes
through this guy. That's what they did to Rachel
Segler when she was trashing Snow White. Disney
went out and put somebody in as a buffer and
say, you don't talk directly to anybody. You
run it through this person first. That's what
they've done with Bill Belichick. Now they don't
trust him to say or do the right thing anymore.
I agree. Yikes. And June 1st is a big day. Up
until then... it'll cost the UNC $10 million
to buy out Bill Belichick from his contract.
After June 1st, it drops to $1 million. So the
article I read this morning said there is a significant
number of people who fully expect on June 1st
to read that Bill Belichick has been bought out
of his contract and he's no longer coach at UNC.
I don't know how you couldn't do that, honestly.
And wouldn't that be amazing? He gets fired before
he's coached his first game. That would be so
fucking funny. Okay, I got a question after that.
Yeah. Then what? I don't think there's many people
that would touch him. I don't either. Especially
as long as he's still hooked up with that girl.
And let me make it clear, I'm not blaming Jordan,
whatever her name is, because Bill Belichick
is letting all this happen. It's all his choice.
He's responsible for letting all this happen.
So I'm not blaming her. No, me neither. I'm blaming
Bill because he's the one in charge of how he
acts. And another thing is his image as a person
is greatly diminished. He looks like a horny
old man with his dick in his hands. Yes, exactly.
Exactly. Instead of that tough guy, Mr. No Nonsense.
Yeah. You know, didn't put up with crap from
the interviewers, the reporters in the postgame.
So we talked monotone. Yeah. Yeah, we got everything
done we needed to. Yeah. But now he just totally
surrenders to this girl. Yeah. That strong personality,
where did it go? It's not working out well for
you, Bill. No. It's not. That strong personality,
where did it go? Where did it go? You know? It
disappears when his wiener gets hard. Yes. Yep.
And I mean, yeah, I mean. He's lucky there's
Viagra and Cialis, right? He's lucky he has money
because nobody, I think, would touch an old curmudgeon
like him if he wasn't wealthy. Oh, hell no. That
old piece of fucking leather. Anyhow. All right,
next up, Green Bay. They need an edge rusher.
Not that, they just need one. Yes, man. I would
agree. I bet they would have probably spent the
farm to get Chris Jones or George Karloftis from
us if they could have. Oh, hang on. Too bad.
Hang on. Hang on. All right. Had a little delay
there. I got a mower coming back from the shop,
and my grass is a little tall, so I had to answer
it. I think we were doing Green Bay. If not,
they're going to hear it again. Yeah. All right.
Well, Green Bay, they need an edge rusher. Yeah.
Most improved area is wide receiver. I forget
who they added, but they're ranked number nine
in the league in power. A lot of that stuff was
on my notes that I left at home. Yeah. I was
describing to Topher I had kind of a rough evening
last night. First off, you know, I had to take
my mom to the doctors, and then the mower came
back. I mowed half of the lawn, and it tore up
on me again, and then I had to have them come
back two hours after they delivered it. And then
the big dresser fiasco that I got from Amazon
that was missing three parts, and they were the
last parts I needed put together. Yeah. So, anyhow.
All right. So, all that parlayed into me leaving
most of my notes, except the ones I printed off
this morning, at home. Yeah. So, anyhow, Topher
is good enough to keep us going on this. All
right. Let's see. Up next, Minnesota. Their biggest
need is corner. I can see that. Yeah, I can see
that, too. They give them. Most improved interior
O -line. So, good protection for Sam Darnold
or whoever else. Oh, no, it's not Sam Darnold.
Oh, that's right. They dumped him. Yeah. Sam
Darnold went to Seattle, I believe. That sounds
right, yeah. The guy that they wanted last year.
but got injured and then put Sam Darnold in there.
Darnold was going to be the backup, from what
I understand. He never did win the starting job.
They're ranked number 10, just behind Green Bay.
I think that's a little high, but we'll see.
I think so, too. Atlanta, their biggest need
is defensive line. Now, they run a 3 -4, so it's
only three guys. But still, the entire defensive
line. I mean, in all fairness, they didn't look
half bad. I mean, I watched them against the
Chiefs. But I'm guessing they're taking into
account who they lost during the offseason, which
I didn't keep track of. Yeah, me neither. Believe
it or not, the Atlanta Falcons are not on my
first to worry about list. No, they're not. Yeah,
so. Their most improved area is edge rusher.
Okay. And they're ranked 19th. Yeah, yeah, I
think 19th sounds about right. Yeah. Okay. Carolina,
their biggest need is corner. So I guess they've
got a pretty mediocre stable of corners. Yeah.
And here's the worst part. Their biggest improvement,
their D front. All their linemen and edge rushers,
that's their most improved. So Carolina's not
going to be the pushover anymore. No, you know
what? And I kind of figured they were going to
do that anyhow. I mean, you know, they got Bryce
Young. Yeah. And at first they thought he was
a dud, but he's shown a lot of improvement. Especially
for as little effort as he was getting last year.
Yes, that's what I'm talking about. From the
rest of the team and the coaches and the front
office. Yeah. Yeah. So, last year I really looked
like Carolina was just phoning it in and just
taking the profits and didn't care. But they
went out and they improved their whole defensive
front. Yes. So. I guess they're taking it seriously
now. Taking it seriously, yep. All righty, for
the Saints, their biggest need is edge rusher.
Biggest improvement is offensive line, which
is good. They're ranked 29th. And with Derek
Carr retiring, they've got a new quarterback,
so he's going to appreciate that O -line. Yeah.
I would, yeah. And what are they, what? 29th.
29. Okay. Pretty low. I think that's a little
low, but I also... That puts them just behind
Jacksonville. No, I think they're better than
that. They're better than that, too. Next up,
we have Tampa Bay. Okay. Biggest need is inside
linebacker. I'm not sure if they run a 3 -4 or
4 -3. 4 -3, I think. Yeah, I'm pretty sure. So
that'd just be the one guy. Yeah. Okay. I'm sorry,
the one person. I don't want to misgender the
linebacker. It could be a female. We don't know.
That never gets unfunny. No, it doesn't. They
need edge rusher. Best improvement was O -line.
So that's good news for their new quarterback.
Oh, wait, I was talking Tampa Bay. Yeah, Tampa
Bay. All right, back to Saints. Okay, inside
linebackers when they need. Their most improved
is pass rush. Okay. Well, the Saints. Or looking
at mediocrity anyhow. Yeah. So... Tampa Bay is
now ranked 14th. Okay. Over halfway. So they
should be able to beat up on the Saints. I think
so. I think so, yeah. And the Falcons. Yeah.
Probably the Panthers. They made the playoffs
last year. They did? So the pass rush, that would
be your edge rushers and then your rushing linebackers.
You know, because you put some guys in there
because they're good on the pass and they're
good for run stop, but there's guys you put in
specifically to rush the passer. Who beat them
in the playoffs last year? The Tampa Bay? Yeah,
was it Washington? Yeah, I think it was. Yeah,
Detroit got the bye. Yeah, and I don't think
Minnesota played them. Okay. Yeah, anyway. Next
up, we have Arizona. They need an inside linebacker
as well. Their most improved is their defensive
front. Just like Carolina, the entire defensive
front has improved. That's their biggest improvement.
It doesn't mean they're greatly improved. It
just means that's the one that improved the most.
This describes why I love football so much. It's
because you don't see this in baseball. You see
this in football because people can... Because
of the structure, you can afford to do that.
So these teams that have nots can suddenly become
a half if they do things right. You know, there
are teams that overspend on the wrong people,
and there's teams that let the right people come
to them. There's one more complication in baseball
is because you can change the lineup. You know,
you have your starters just like you do in football,
but football doesn't change the lineup. So today
you're going to be quarterback. Today you're
going to be left corner. It doesn't happen that
way. No, it does not. And another thing that's
happening in baseball that I find really unique
now, and, I mean, I'm still not, like, crazy
about it like I used to be, but I like it still
enough to watch a little of it but not a whole
lot. So the way they're putting in in playoffs
and stuff like that, they put in the relief pitchers
first. Wow. They've been doing that. Or second.
Early in the game? Yeah, they'll do like splitting
it up three innings, three innings, three innings.
Funny. Yeah, I mean, it really makes sense. Why
not try it? Well, you got a guy that can throw
for a couple of innings, can throw lights out
and pull anybody. Why not throw them in there?
Put them in before you get in the hole. Yeah,
yeah. Wow, that makes a lot of sense. That's
where the idea came from is, hey. We think the
hitters are going to come up with at least a
couple of runs first. So we think we can be 3
-0 when we get to the seventh inning, 3 -0. You
know, sometimes football teams do that. They'll
start the game in the no -huddle offense. Yes.
Very rarely did they used to start the game with
an onside kick. That doesn't really happen anymore,
especially with the new rules. But I have seen
that in the past. They start the game with an
onside kick. We saw it a couple years ago. I
can't remember who did that. But, I mean, the
Thursday night team was like, huh? Yeah. And
it's against the Chiefs. Yeah, it was. I can't
remember who it was, but it failed. Yeah. Anyhow.
All right, next up we have the Rams. It's ironic.
Their most improved area is wide receiver, but
their area of biggest need is a number three
wide receiver. You know, because they dumped
Cooper Cup. Yeah. So I guess they have their
two starters. They need somebody to dispel them.
They drafted a couple also, I do believe. So
we'll see. The Cooper Cup thing, I agree with
100%. The guy was not producing as according
to the money that he was trying to command. Yeah.
And he's on the backside of his career. So I
agree with that 100%. I think he went to Seattle,
didn't he, Cup? Yes. So I could believe wide
receiver. And it's kind of ironic. They really
never came out and said it, but it was basically
Cooper Cup was going to cost too much money.
But the person they replaced him with cost pretty
much the same money. Yeah. So that was them saying
Cooper Cup was not as good as this guy, which
is kind of the implication there. So I wouldn't
see. You see, I agree. Cooper Cup ever having
a nice thing to say about the Rams again? No,
me neither. Or ever wanting to play there again?
Okay, I've said Cooper Cup enough times for one
day. Okay. You can say CK. Yeah, there we go.
Up next, 49ers. Their biggest need right now
is outside linebacker. So you can run around
the end on them. I want to know the McCaffrey
status. I do too. They're being really quiet
about it. Look, he had a career -altering injury,
and he's in his, what, 32 maybe, something like
that? Yeah. Chances are, I mean, really, as good
of an athlete as he is, he's not the same. He's
not going to be the same. Yeah. When he was diagnosed,
they came out and told everybody the way this
disease works is it never gets better. It just
gets worse over time. So how good you are now
is the best you'll ever be. And tomorrow you'll
be a little worse. But that's still the best
he'll be from now on. And that's the same with
his program. Yeah, that's pretty much. Tomorrow
we're going to be worse. Day after that we're
going to be worse. But, yeah, are you going to
make that guy your number one running back? I
don't think you can. And they lost Mitchell to
us. I know Mitchell was injured a lot. But if
he can stay healthy, that's a 1 ,000 -yard runner
right there. Yeah. And the Chiefs have the luxury
of being able to use the running game as a changeup.
Yes. Instead of, well, we pound the football,
we run on every down, so your running back is
going to get hammered. And with those receivers
that the Chiefs have, and if they're all healthy,
in the middle that you have with Bray and Kelsey,
you're going to be doing the pass to set up the
run a lot. Yeah. Instead of the other way around.
Yeah, absolutely. Niners' most improved area
is the defensive line, and they're ranked 15th.
I think that's about right. I think so. Yeah.
Seattle, their biggest need is center. Their
biggest improvement is quarterback. Sam Darnold?
Apparently they think he's a lot better than
Geno was. Okay. And they're ranked 16th. Okay.
But that's how ironic that... I think they might
have let Geno go. Didn't he get a little cocky
last year and make some statements? And they're
kind of like, ah. I thought it was ironic that
the guy who's going to be under center is your
most improved player, but now you need a center.
Yeah. Yeah, which, what, you know. Just a little
strange. Yeah. All right. Let me put this stuff
back in order. Okay. So I think DoorDash, we're
talking a little bit here off the program. I
think, you know, we used to order pizza when
I was a teenager and worked Jack's Dad. Oh, yeah.
And they used to come in there and be like, did
you guys want the pizza? We're like, yeah, we
wanted the pizza. And then we used to trade with
them, too. Like, hey, you guys got a few pizzas
left over? Yeah. Oh, we got some barbecue meat
and some, you know, this and that hanging out,
you know, and we just switched. Yep, yep. I never
worked at a fast food place that did that, but
I've heard of a lot that, you know, they'll swap
food with somebody else. You just got to come
in and out the back door. Yeah, yep. And it was
a little perk that all the managers were just
kind of like, let them do it. Yep. Here's the
weird thing. The other day I was getting my car
worked on and they needed a part they didn't
have. It was delivered by DoorDash. Why wouldn't
they do that? Yeah, it made perfect sense. I
remember auto parts stores and companies having
their own delivery service. Yeah. Well, the truck
will be here at 10. Napa used to have their own
trucks, remember? Yeah. They had that little
light on the top of them that said Napa. Yeah.
It's all DoorDash. All DoorDash. That makes so
much sense. It does. Yeah. Cool. So that's why
the auto part arrived smelling like french fries.
Yeah. Hey, I'm all for that. No kidding. As long
as they save me a couple. I've got some interesting
rules from the NFL rules that all but one are
still in effect. And they're either kind of hard
to understand or rarely come up. So I thought
I'd pass that along. Sounds good to me. Our microphone
condom needs to step up its game a little bit
here. I might have to double layer it. There
we go. Okay, we got the condom back on. We doubled
up because we think this is a dirty leg here.
Still has its reservoir tip so we can practice
safe podcasting. Yep. Alright. Oh yeah, there
was a big gust right there. I didn't hear a damn
thing. That did work then. That did work. Alright,
first we got some of these NFL rules. The first
one is the one that's been repealed. And it is
the tuck rule. Oh yeah. It... Got its claim to
fame in 1999 when it was the Patriots and the
Raiders in a very snowy game. The Raiders referred
to it as a snow job game. Oh, yeah. The rule
basically states that if a quarterback is trying
to tuck the ball away in the judgment of the
official, then anything he does. Even if it looks
like a forward pass, even if the ball gets knocked
out, no matter what happens, as long as the official
thinks, okay, he's tucking the ball away, can't
be a fumble. It's an incomplete pass if the ball
comes out. Okay. Which is really weird because
it depends on the quarterback deciding, I'm not
going to pass, I'm going to tuck the ball away.
But then if the ball comes out, it's an incomplete
pass. What a weird -ass rule. I know. I'm glad
they repealed it. Yes. But on the replay, they
showed his arm moving forward like he was passing
it. And the official said, see, that proves it
was a tuck. Because his arm was moving forward
like he's tucking the ball away. Yeah. I'm glad
it's repealed. 14 more years we had to suffer
with that piece of shit. Yeah, it was a worthless
rule that just got in the way at certain times.
Get rid of it. It seemed like it was basically
there to make sure the officials could alter
the flow of the game if needed. Yeah. Just make
up some crap and say, yeah, whatever. Those are
the rules that I hate is the ones that are just
kind of up to the viewer, the ref, you know,
going, well, I think it's this. I don't want
any, well, I think it's this. I want a definite.
That's allowed or not. Yeah. Well, this next
rule kind of falls in that category, too. It's
called the palpably unfair act rule. Interesting.
Okay. And this came up last year when Philly
was trying to score at the goal line and Washington
kept jumping the snap over and over and over.
And the official said, look, do that one more
time or we're just going to give Philly the touchdown
because what you're doing is blatantly unfair.
And that's what the rule is about. If a team
or a player is violating a rule in such a way
that the Zebra believes it is specifically to
prevent a score or any other significant play,
then the official can award what they believe
the result of the play would have been without
that unfair act. I agree because that was bullshit.
That was a complete waste of time. Yep. And it
was like just, yeah. I'm recalling a game in
the 80s, possibly 90s, where a player was running
down the sideline with the ball and was going
to score a touchdown. And one of the players
on the sideline stepped out and tripped it. And
all it was was 15 yards from that spot. Wow,
okay. He actually provably prevented the touchdown.
Why wouldn't a player do that every single time?
Yeah, exactly. You're preventing a touchdown,
and the penalty is just 15 yards. Do it every
time. Do it every time, yeah. So I think the
unfair act rule is to counteract something like
that. I love that. Yeah. Because that happens
all the damn time. Yeah. What's that? Helpfully
unfair act. The holy roller. We were talking
about this on the way down. The rule got its
name in an Oakland Raiders game where the ball
was fumbled forward, and then another player
kicked and swatted it forward, and then a third
player kicked and swatted it into the end zone
and fell on it for a touchdown. So they came
up with this rule that a fumble, if it occurs
in the last two and a half minutes of game, or
at any time on fourth down, the fumble cannot
be recovered by a teammate. If you fumble it,
you've got to recover it, and then you can advance
it. If your teammate recovers it, it goes back
to the spot where you fumbled. If it goes out
of bounds, it goes to the spot where it went
out of bounds or where you fumbled, whichever
is farther back. Yep. That's pretty cool. So
that came into play in 1978 was when the Raiders
did that Holy Roller play. Wow, 1978. Okay. I
was a junior in high school. Actually, that would
have been the football season of 78, so that
would have been my senior year because the following
spring would have been 79. Yeah, I was still
in grade school. I was listening to Pink Floyd.
I was trying to listen to Pink Floyd and Kiss
and all these bands. But, you know, of course,
the parents knew that they were all devil worshippers
and were trying to indoctrinate us into that
lifestyle. I think Pink Floyd Animals had recently
come out, and The Wall wasn't quite there yet.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, The Wall, yeah. Yeah, The Wall,
they... That's a no -no list for parents. Yeah.
So... All right, next rule is the illegal forward
pass rule. There's a couple of... parts of this
that most people don't quite remember sometimes
um only one forward pass per play so if the ball
is pitched forward at any time that counts as
a forward pass um let's see the quarterback has
to be behind the line of scrimmage But as long
as he has even one toe behind the line of scrimmage,
the rest of him can be over it and it's still
okay. Yeah. He has to be completely over the
line. But another thing that occasionally crops
up is if he completely crosses the line and then
scampers back behind the line, uh -uh, can't
throw the ball. Once you cross that line, it's
a no going back kind of thing. There will be
no pass. Okay. So that doesn't always come up,
but I have seen quarterbacks run over the line
and then run back and throw the ball. Yeah, I
have too. Doesn't work. Okay. So one pass per
play. I think that's a pretty reasonable rule.
All right. Next up, the goalpost doink rule.
Oh, I didn't know anything about this. Yeah.
Go ahead. Hitting the goalpost and going in counts
as the score. Hitting any goalpost and going
back out does not score. I think it was last
season, Chicago had a double doink. Oh, that's
right. They did an upright, then the crossbar,
and then came out. And they really needed that
three points. They did, yeah. They lost the game
because of it, I guess. Yeah, I think so. But
here's the second part of that rule. If the ball
hits anything else, like cables or a camera or
the screen or anything, it's a do -over. All
of that is considered interference and a do -over.
Well, I don't know if you saw this last year.
I think I told you about it actually on the show.
A snowball came really close to nailing a football
being kicked through the uprights in Buffalo.
Oh, wow. It was within inches. Wow, like ballistic
missile technology. Shoot down the enemy missile.
Yes. That's awesome. So before that may not have
been deemed as interference. Now that can be
deemed as interference. Now that would be considered
interference. I'm sure it's on YouTube. Give
it a look. I mean, that snowball is just like
inches away from the football. That could even
come under the palpably unfair act. That's another
one, too. They could just award the kick. Yeah.
I think that would be the smarter way to do it.
That would discourage the fans. It's like, oh,
okay, you're going to do that? We're just going
to give them the points. The funny thing is nobody
said anything about it. They don't want to advertise
it. Because they're going to start doing it more
often. Every stadium is going to come in with
something they can throw. It was plain sight
right there. Damn. Wow. Yeah. Well, here's one
rule that I did not know. It's the lost helmet
rule. If any player... Oh, Mike Mahomes couldn't
find his helmet, remember? This is during a play.
Oh, during a play? Yeah. If a player loses his
helmet during a play and he's not the ball carrier...
the play is dead instantly at that point. Any
player, anywhere on the field, loses his helmet.
For safety reasons, yes. Blown dead immediately.
Yeah. Now, if a player takes his helmet off,
that's a different matter. Yeah, no, you can't
do that. If they take it off, that should be
unsportsmanlike conduct like they do anywhere
in 15 yards. And I have seen an instance where,
this is in college, where a player put his helmet
on in such a way that it was going to get pushed
off every single time. And they stopped play,
stopped play, and stopped. Finally, they told
the kid to go to the sideline and fix it, or
he couldn't play anymore. But I didn't know in
the NFL that if anybody loses a helmet during
the play, the play's dead unless you've got the
ball in your hands. It also leads to ball biting.
That is true. Biggin is rolling over in his tar
pit or wherever he is. Yeah, probably in prison,
I'd imagine. Hopefully in solitary. Oh, yeah.
You know, we couldn't afford our own helmets.
So by the time we got the hand -me -downs, they
were already shaped like somebody else's head.
And every time they'd hit us, our helmets would
pop off. No give left in those things. Oh, yeah.
You know, they're all like going, ha -ha. So,
anyhow, yeah, we were praying for white helmets.
All we had to do was put that little Viking.
oh yeah now if they're like a different colored
helmet it'd be like we spray painted yeah so
yeah this is a small school in the country guys
yeah can't buy new helmets every year nope all
right we have an inadvertent whistle rule during
the play if any official blows their whistle
for any reason even if it's a mistake plays over
no going back no no i don't like that no do over
because That's happened so many times. You can
manipulate a game really easy like that. And
you can pay an official to blow their whistle.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying. There was a game
recently between the Patriots and the Bills.
Well, not too recently because Brady was still
the quarterback back then. Brady was scrambling,
and he was still looking to throw the ball downfield.
And there was a Bills player bearing down on
him trying to sack him. The official blew the
whistle claiming, oh, I thought Brady stepped
out of bounds and he was going to get sacked
anyway. So I just blew the whistle to end the
play. Brady was pissed and the whole rest of
the Patriots were because he said, I had someone
down field and I was about to throw the damn
thing. The Bills were pissed because the player
was like, I had him. I was going to get that
sack and I need that for my incentive bonuses.
The officials stopped the play through that interversion
whistle, and both teams were pissed. I remember
that, too. That's pretty awesome. I know. I remember
that, too. When you're going to make a mistake,
make it big. Yeah, they were all looking at different
things. They were going, I could have done this,
I could have done that. Then the officials in
the middle went. Yeah, but there's no way out
of it. It's like, hey, once I blow the whistle,
that's it. And I would not be surprised if somebody
smuggles a whistle on the field and starts blowing
it. And the players just kind of stop. And then
they keep the ones that weren't. Oh, that wasn't
an official whistle. What? Sorry? Oh, I said
no. What they're doing is they'd be going around
going, did you blow it? Did you blow it? Yeah.
I thought you were pointing to somebody over
there. Oh, no, no, no. I'm sorry. Yeah, yeah.
Or somebody in the stands blows a whistle. Yeah,
that's what I'm saying is, and then the team
that, like, quit, they heard the, and then the
other team knew that someone had the whistle.
They run in that zone, and then the other team's
going, well, who blew the whistle? And they all
go, I didn't. What a mess that would be. That
would be a mess. Then they would have to put,
like, a chip in the whistle that would register
as an official whistle blow, and then the light
would pop. Oh, they'll have something. Yeah.
Okay, up. Next is the fair catch kick rule. Okay.
Any team that fair catches a punt or a free kick,
not a kickoff, it has to be a punt or a free
kick. Okay. Free kick is what they do after a
safety. Yeah. If there's any time left on the
clock, you can fair catch it. You've got the
ball right there. Uh -huh. And then you can immediately
try an uncontested field goal. The other team
has to stand back 10 yards. Oh, I get one. And
the way you kick it is you drop it to the ground.
It hits the ground, bounces up, then you kick
it. You can't use a tee. So your choice is the
drop kick or somebody spots the ball directly
on the dirt instead of a kicking tee, and you
try it that way. Wow. But that is the way if
you're down by three points or fewer. And the
other team does a crap punt. and you fielded
it like you're 35, and there's two seconds left,
fair catch it. Bring your field goal kicker out.
The other team can interfere. They have to sit
back and watch it happen. Yeah. But, you know,
the last player to do that was was Doug Flutie.
That's how far back it was. Wow. All five foot
six of them. Yep. So, it's, yeah, it's always
three points because it's a field goal. I was
getting confused with the last one, which is
the dropkick rule. Can you do a fake field goal?
I don't think so. I think it has to be a fair
catch type of kick. Yeah, because everybody's
10 yards back. Yeah. Yeah, you know, you're right.
Okay. All right, now we have a dropkick rule.
It is currently legal that at any time, any player...
can drop kick that ball through the goal post
and get three points. No matter what, as long
as a play is running, you have the ball, you
can drop kick it through the goal post for three
points. Wow. And almost no one ever does it because
you have to do a drop kick, which means hits
the ground, bounces up, then you kick it. It's
kind of tough to do. College used to do it fairly
often. You can also do it for an extra point.
I actually, I like doing that. I do too. I wish
more teams would do it. You've got this guy,
he's running down the field and there's like
six guys in front of him going to keep him from
scoring. He just calls up and kicks it through
the goal post and sends it into overtime. Why
not? That would be cool. Can you imagine the
outsers? It's going down to 20. Oh, hey, he's
kicking. I imagine probably 75 % of current NFL
players don't even know that's a rule. They probably
don't even know. Well, I mean, look at the Super
Bowl two years ago. Yeah, they didn't know the
overtime rule. Yeah, and a lot of people said
that Shanahan, I think something like that is
actually the players. Absolutely. How could you
not know that? Shanahan doesn't need that on
his plate. Is he going to have to teach them
about not jumping off sides? Yeah, exactly. Yeah,
it's ridiculous. They should have known. Yeah,
and to be fair, I'm not even sure if Nicole Hardman
knew. Yeah, I don't think he did. He said he
didn't know they'd won until Mahomes came running
in and jumped on them and said, we won, we won.
He's like, oh, that was it? Oh, okay. And I can't
wait until, who hired him? Minnesota? No, no,
no. Someone. Offered him a contract. He signed
a contract with another team. That's right. I
heard that the other day. You know what's cool
is? He'll be back probably mid -season. Probably
so. When they drop him. Yeah. We'll grab him.
If he doesn't make the roster, yeah, Chiefs are
going to keep an eye open, definitely. I mean,
I like him. He never was the poor man's Tyreek
Hill like they thought. Yeah. But he has been
a very good player. Dynamic. Different dynamics,
yeah. He's not the everyday guy. He's a guy that
you go in there here and there, and a lot of
times he'll pull something out of his ass. Yeah.
And another thing that's very underrated about
that final play of the Super Bowl before, the
one against the 49ers, is... McCall Hardman and
Patrick Mahomes' bluff. Yes. They looked like
they were just there strictly just to be there.
He's like, you know, the ball's getting handed
off. We're going to run it up the gut. And McCall
Hardman's over there just kind of looking like,
I'm just going to run up there and see what I
can do. Yep. No one even thought about it. So
it was a great bluff. The guy does have some
stuff, but he is getting older. And I understand
why they didn't re -sign him. Yeah, I get it.
Well, I have a list of predicted Offensive Rookie
of the Year and Defensive Rookie of the Year.
Okay. Want to take a look at that? Yeah. Number
one on the list is quarterback Cam Ward, who's
now playing for the Titans. I can see that kind
of being the hands -down favorite right now for
Offensive Rookie of the Year. Receivers would
really like to get that one of these years. They
just don't seem to. What do they say? In 2023,
C .J. Stroud won the award over Puka Nakua, despite
the fact that the wide receiver set rookie records
in both receptions with 105 and yardage with
1486. I was on board with C .J. Stroud getting
it, but then after I read that, that article
came out a couple of weeks before or two after
C .J. Stroud won it. And I thought the same thing.
I was unaware of his statistics. Yeah. I mean,
honestly, C .J. Stroud had a great year, and
I think the reason that he won is because they
went to the playoffs. Playoffs. And won. And
won one. It's odd because that brings up the
point is they tend to vote this as partially
most valuable player. Yes. But it's not. It's
not, I know. It's what the individual's achievements,
regardless of how the team did. Yeah, so I think
they missed that one, but you know what? It's
a really great story when you see C .J. Stroud
out there in the playoffs, and it makes a great
marquee game. The youngsters, C .J. Stroud against
the elder or Patrick Mahomes or whoever, or Aaron
Rodgers or somebody. It's the thing they've been
doing forever in the NFL is promoting things
so well, like the battle of the young and the
old. He's going to take the belt. Or if they
both played for the same college or for rival
colleges is even better. So I see how come C
.J. Stroud is a better, for the NFL, a better
rookie of the year. Then in 2024, Jaden Daniels
won the award for Offensive Rookie of the Year
over tight end Brock Bowers, who broke Nakua's...
previous rookie receptions records with 112.
And he broke Mike Ditka's mark for most receiving
yards by a rookie tied in with 1 ,194, a record
that had stood since 1961. And he still didn't
get the award. And they're again getting the
MVP mixed up with this. Yeah, because they said
Stroud got 48 of a possible 50 first place votes.
and Daniels the next day got 49 out of a possible
50. So the voters were going that way. Another
reason is because of the come -from -behind wins
that each team had. Yeah, that's true. But I
still— But he's throwing them to somebody, isn't
he? Yes, yes. I'm going to stir the pot a little
bit. Yeah, but you know what? I'll put it like
this. I don't necessarily disagree that those
guys didn't deserve an award like that, but I
also think that the other—the receivers— Had
a better case for it. Yeah. I think if a rookie
receiver breaks the 2 ,000 -yard mark in his
rookie year, I think he'll get it. I think he'll
get it. Okay, number two on the possible list,
Ashton Babelsnatch. G, G, G -N -T, Jaunty. It's
J -E -A -N -T -Y. If it were S -E -A -N, I think
it was pronounced Sean. Yeah. So I'm going to
pronounce it Jaunty. Jaunty sounds fine. Until
somebody corrects me. Running back for the Raiders.
Yeah, Mr. Babelstach. Okay, so he's predicted
to maybe win. He's number two in the possibles
for offensive rookie of the year. I can see him
having a big year there and having them run the
ball quite a bit. I could too. Yeah. Number three,
Omari and Hampton running back for the Chargers.
That guy's been under my radar. I haven't seen
him at all. I don't have the clue. I guess he's
highly rated, okay. Yeah, we'll see him twice
this year. Yeah. At least. At least. Okay, the
next one. I'm going to try this babble snatch.
Number four, Ted DiAroa, McMillan, wide receiver
for the Panthers. Yeah. That was like G -Hawk
Campbell. Yes. That's what he was talking about.
Yes, he's coming up. So wide receiver Panthers,
I could see him having a big year with Bryce
Young throwing him the ball. Yeah, I could too.
And the row lines improved. Okay, yeah. I see
the logic in that. Number five, Tyler, let's
see, S -H -O -U -G -H. Could you pronounce like
cough or tough or bow or through? How do you
pronounce that? Yeah, so I'll say Tyler Schuff.
Okay, there we go. Until corrected. Quarterback
for the Saints. I could see him having a big
year. Yeah, I could see Babel Snatch doing good.
Definitely, definitely. Number six, Travis Hunter,
wide receiver for the Jaguars. I don't know.
Trevor Lawrence is going to have to have a good
year. He's going to have to develop a rapport
with him that he's never developed with any receiver.
Yeah, I think in this case the quarterback is
holding him back. Yes. Have you noticed he's
never had a go -to guy that he developed rapport
to? You're right. Well, I think a lot of that's
on him. Yeah. I don't think he has that, come
here, let's figure this out, come on, and have
that timing down. Yeah. Number seven, Matthew
Golden, wide receiver, Green Bay. Number eight,
Amika Egbuka, wide receiver, Tampa Bay. Okay.
Number nine, Quinshawn Judkins, running back
Cleveland. I think a running back in Cleveland
could have a big, big season. I think he should
be a little bit higher on the list just because
the dynamic of being in Cleveland. And whoever
they have a quarterback is going to be young,
so they're going to depend on a running game
to take some pressure off them. Probably eventually
be Shador, but we'll see. Yeah, I guess. Number
11, Jackson Dark, QB for the Giants. The O -line
is going to hold him back. The coaching is going
to hold him back. The guy's got all the talent
in the world. Is he even going to play at first?
True, true. Yeah, you're presuming they're going
to start. I mean, I like Dart. I think he's a
pretty good prospect. But the problem is I don't
like New York. Yeah. That's a shitty team. And
the coaching, I think, is fair at best. Yeah,
and they really seem to have been just not caring
for quite a while. Yeah. Number 12, R .J. Harvey,
running back, Denver Broncos. We'll see him twice
this year. Okay. Number 13, Caleb Johnson, running
back, Pittsburgh Steelers. A lot of running backs
on this list. 14, Colston Loveland, tight end,
Chicago Bears. I can see that because if Caleb
Williams snaps back to a decent level of confidence
and swagger. and assurance and gets some protection,
I could see him throwing a lot to the tight end.
I could too. I think that one of the number one
things that Chicago's going to do is get Caleb
Williams to trust his arm. Yeah. Because last
year he didn't throw it as much as he could have
because he's afraid of making mistakes. I think
the next step is wing that thing downfield, man.
Trust your arm. Your arm's great. Yeah, let them
know that if you throw an interception, we're
not benching you. We don't care. We're not taking
you out. Exactly. It's your team, your game.
Work through it. I mean, if they don't do it
this year, this guy's ruined too. Yeah. They
have to get on it and say, whiz it downfield.
Whiz it downfield. You make a couple mistakes,
we don't care. We're not looking at winning the
Super Bowl this year and probably next year.
You're going to be three years from now. We want
you to be able to throw it downfield with no
problems, so you've got to start right now. I
could see after Andy Reid retires, he has a second
career as a quarterback whisperer. Teams hire
him to come in and restore their quarterback's
confidence and tell him what he needs to hear
so he can actually do something. Yeah, we don't
have enough time, but I would love to name all
the quarterbacks he had some sort of an influence
on one way or another throughout his career.
And it's crazy some of the people that he was
behind. Oh, yeah, a lot of those names. You just
forget that he was there. Yeah. All right, let's
see. Number 14, Colston Loveland, tied in Chicago.
Mentioned that. Number 15, Tyler Warren, tied
in for the Colts. Depends on who their quarterback
is, too. Yeah. 16, Will Howard, quarterback,
Pittsburgh Steelers. There again, presuming he
starts. Yeah. And then 17, I think this should
be higher. Shadur Sanders, quarterback, Cleveland
Browns. I think so, too. I think they should
be up there five. Five, yeah. On number five,
probably, because, man, I'm going to be so disappointed
if he's not starting quarterback day one. That's
going to be disappointing. I think that he will
because it's Cleveland, and what else do they
have to do? But, you know, what's ironic is number
18, Dylan Gabriel, quarterback, Cleveland Browns.
The guy drafted ahead of him. Funny. Yeah, it
is. So they hedged their bet with Shador, and
that's not their bet. Yeah, they drafted Dylan
Gabriel in the fourth round. Or third. I think
it was the fourth round, but it was ahead of
Shador. And then the fifth round, Shador was
still there, and they're like, psh, got to take
it. Yeah, what if our guy doesn't work out? Yeah.
We're going to go ahead. The thing that bothers
me is Shador wasn't the first pick. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. So. I wouldn't expect him to re -sign in
Cleveland once his rookie contract is up. No,
I wouldn't either. Because he wasn't your number
one pick. No, I wouldn't either. Well, he wasn't
your first choice of quarterback, let's put it
that way. The funny thing, when it's the fifth
round, there wasn't shit he said either. Yeah.
If that happened in the first round, do you think
he would have went to Cleveland? No. No? He'd
be like, no, that's not good enough. All right,
we've got defensive rookie of the year list.
Okay. First up is Michael Williams, edge rusher
for the Niners. Okay. Number two, Jalen Walker,
edge rusher, Atlanta Falcons. You're going to
notice a trend here. Number three, Abdul Carter,
edge rusher, New York Giants. Wow. Okay. Number
four, Shamar Stewart, edge rusher, Cincinnati
Bengals. What the hell? The top four. Four rookie
edge rushers. They think they're going to win.
This is ESPN, by the way. Okay. Number five,
Maxwell Hairston, corner, Buffalo Bills. Okay.
I can see him making a big impact there. He's
going to have to have some pretty spectacular
interceptions and runbacks to get rookie of the
year. Well. Or, yeah, I would say. I mean, okay.
Go and do this just a little bit, but not all
the way, because we're on a different subject.
Okay, Buffalo is not thinking their offense is
faulty by losing all these times to the Chiefs
in the playoffs. Yeah, they think it's their
defense. Yeah, so it makes sense. It does. And
they also added a couple of fast third or fourth
receivers. Yeah. So I think their thought process
is right. If it pans out, they're going to once
again be Buffalo, and they're going to be very
tough to beat. Yeah, and they've got one of the
best home field advantages there is currently
in the NFL. Yeah, which makes it even more spectacular.
A couple of years ago when the Chiefs went in
there and held them to 14 points. That was quite
an accomplishment. That has not been talked about
enough. Yeah, I remember that year the radio
people were saying that They weren't so worried
about Buffalo, but they were worried about the
one before, which I think was Cincinnati. Yeah,
that's right. And I thought, really? And then
we went to Buffalo and just clobbered them. It
was like, oh, okay, I guess I knew what they
were talking about. No, I thought the same thing,
too. Yeah. But if nothing else, revenge. Yeah,
true. A lot of shit has happened at our, you
know, their blood is on our hands everywhere.
Yeah, yeah. Well, let's see, number six. Carson
Schlesinger, linebacker, Cleveland. Yeah, Dr.
Laura is his mom. Oh, okay. No, I think hers
is Schlesinger. Or maybe it's Dr. Ruth is his
mom. That's it. Okay, number seven is really
interesting. You've heard this name before. Travis
Hunter. Yeah. Cornerback Jacksonville. Before,
we heard him as Travis Hunter wide receiver Jacksonville,
who's number six on the offensive rookie list.
Here he is at number seven on the defensive rookie
list, Travis Hunter, because he wants to play
both. And he insists he's going to play both
wide receiver and quarterback. Oh, that's right.
I forgot. He did say that. He said he's playing
both. That's it? Yep. So that'll be interesting.
He's on both lists as rookie of the year candidate.
He must be good then if he's on both lists. Each
one. He is. But playing every snap is, no, can't
do it. So he's going to be a situational guy
on offense and defense. Yes. And really, is that
the best use of this high ground draft pick?
I don't think so. He's got to be more one than
the other to make sense for the team. Oh, I agree.
I agree. The days of the slash. Yeah. The quarterback
has been combined into the slash. Naturally,
Josh Allen, even Patrick Mahomes. They want to
throw first. That's their primary. But if not,
they can scramble and they can run. The slash
thing doesn't necessarily work out so well because
of the overuse of the person. Yeah, and the extra
wear and tear. By the fourth quarter, the guy
who's been half running back, half quarterback
is exhausted. That's just putting extra... I
mean, you're making it harder for the guy to
win the game for you. I agree, yeah. That's kind
of what it boils down to. Well, we'll see how
that works out. My prediction is he's not going
to win either one of them if he's playing both.
No, I don't think so. Number eight, Mason Graham,
D -tackle Cleveland. Okay. So Cleveland's well
represented here. Number nine, James Pierce Jr.,
edge rusher Falcons. Ten, Walter Nolan, D -tackle
Arizona. Okay. Not going to be hard to have a
standout year in Arizona. No, no, no. Yeah, he's
going to do all right there. Number 11, Kenneth
Grant, D -tackle Miami Dolphins. Number 12, Jihad
Campbell. I love that name. Linebacker, Philadelphia
Eagles. Holy War Campbell. Holy War Campbell.
I love that. My God, that's funny. You know,
other people are going to catch on that, too.
He might as well use that in his personal marketing,
bringing the holy war. He might have to drop
the word holy. Probably war. But just, you know,
yeah. You're right. No, he would have to drop
it. Yeah, they'll find some slightly different
translation where it's not quite so... The implications
behind that is too much. Yeah, it's too much.
God says, I have to kill you now. Yeah. Too many
people have heard that throughout history. See
that right there? You know that one guy over
there? That Holy War guy? I heard that he's a
Muslim that worships Satan. Watch out for that
boy. He'll have to be careful. I'm sure somebody
will find the right path for his marketing. Number
13, Jade Baron, cornerback. Denver Broncos, if
I'm pronouncing it Ja Day correctly, sorry. Okay,
Babelsnatch? Yeah, J -A -H -D -A -E. If it was
B -A -E, it would be Bae. I think you're right,
yeah. So, and J -A -J is Ja? Ja. Or maybe it's
Ja Day. It could be Ja Day, depending on what
the origin of it is. So, okay. I'm going to say
Ja Day, because the Germans pronounce the J with
a Y sound, and I don't think it's German. Yeah,
I think Ja Day is it, yeah. Okay. Number 14,
Derek Harmon, de -tackled Pittsburgh Steelers.
Number 15, Tyleek Williams, de -tackled Detroit
Lions. Number 16, Malachi Starks, safety Baltimore
Ravens. I always find the name Malachi so interesting.
It always sounds ominous to me for some reason.
It kind of strikes fear. It's got that Old Testament
sound. I'm sure it is an Old Testament name.
I met some people the other day. Their little
son was named Malachi. And I'm like, any special
reason? They said, no, we just like the name.
There's been several versions of Stephen King's
Children of the Corn. The one I remember seeing
on cable TV back in the 80s. one of the main
bad guys' name was Malachi. Malachi, I think
that's probably what a lot of it came from. Even
in my head, I was trying to figure out how come
that... Yeah, children of the corn. Yeah, it's
on the set, it's right there. That name got well
known as a villain, and now it's kind of like
they're a villain. And it was either that or
some other... Similar show that Betty Davis was
like a main villain, too. It might have been
Children of the Corn as well. I think it was,
yeah. Betty Davis, yeah. Yeah, and that was at
the end of her career. She still looked crazy
as hell. Oh, I know. Kim Carnes got a pretty
good career off of that. Yeah, that's true. And
then after that, everybody was known as, oh,
they have Betty Davis eyes. Nobody knew about
that before. Yeah. Until Kim Carnes made it official
with a song. Yeah. All the boys think she's a
spy because she's got Betty Davis eyes. They
had nothing else to write on that song. They
had no lyrics at all. But they snuck some words
past the censor because there's a repeating line
that says, she snows you when she blows you.
Blows you, yes. Yeah. And the intention was she
gets you coked up and then has sex with you.
Yes. But they said, oh, no, no. She lies to you
when she blows you off. They got it past the
censors somehow. Yeah, somehow. Yeah, we knew
what you were talking about. Well, it's just
like the who. Who the fuck are you? Yeah. Plain
as day. Yep. And let us stop talking bullshit
now. Yes. With hours getting late. Yep. There
are ones that people know are there, but they
don't recognize. Yep. Yeah. I know when I was
in a cover band, we would do Get the Funk Out
by Xtreme, and I was doing backing vocals in
addition to the drumming. And, you know, when
we would sing Get the Funk Out... most of the
time I was singing get the fuck out and that's
what extreme did in it too yeah and people didn't
know it in there is get the fuck out over and
over and over and everyone's like oh no that's
not it it's a song get the fuck out every time
I played it it was in there Yes. I put it in
there. And you couldn't notice either. You thought
it was punk. Yeah. And if anyone complained,
we're like, no, let's get the funk out. See,
it's written down that way. Just look at our
set list. It's a funky song, too. It is. So I
could get that. Al, that's fun to play. Oh, I
bet it is. So much fun. We had a version where
we would, partway through the song, we'd kick
it into at least. double speed, if not faster.
And we would just burn through the rest of the
songs absolutely as fast as we possibly could
while not missing a note. That was tough, but
it was a lot of fun. How about the guitarist
having to keep up with Nuno? Yeah, he eventually
told us, this is too fast, slow down, I can't
hit all those notes. Nuno's a great singer, too.
I told you, I saw him in Generation X. He sang...
Damn it. Well, he's the second vocal on More
Than Words. Yeah, yeah. He's almost doing a second
lead with Gary Cherone. He did that one, and
he sounded like the song. Yeah. And that would
make sense. He's almost like a Glenn Hughes.
Well, Glenn Hughes is a lead singer now, but
for a long time he was the backup singer of Deep
Purple. He sang verses of the songs in that lineup.
You know, him and David Coverdell switched back
and forth. Isn't it funny how we've seamlessly
transitioned into the music creeps without stopping
the sports bastards first? This is bonus music
creep. We're going to have to shut this down
and start over. Okay, let's just go into the
music creeps, I guess, then. All right. Tell
everybody. Hey, everybody, thank you guys for
listening. We really appreciate you, and you
guys are amazing. You're listening, a lot of
people are listening, and go fuck yourself. Oh,
no. Looks like the show's over, kids. Mark has
explosive diarrhea and can't afford a wireless
mic. Fear not, assholes. They'll be back invading
your ear holes soon.