Hey, you fucking derelicts. It's time for the
Daily Douchebag Pledge. I, Joe or Jane Listener,
hereby promise to download the show. I, Joe or
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phones, unattended computers, public computers,
and all of my work computers as well, and download
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hereby promise to make other people listen. I,
Joe or Jane Listener. will hereby lie to everyone
about how quality the show is. I, Joe or Jane
Listener, promise to make all my family members
listen and recite the daily douchebag pledge.
And finally, I, Joe or Jane Listener, hereby
promise to make the trek to Knobloch, Missouri,
just to have a selfie with the Knobloch sign.
Here at Two Douchebags and a Microphone, we don't
stand behind our journalistic integrity. Go ahead
and assume we got the story wrong. At least we
admit it. Not like all those other guys. We can
and will lie if it makes the story better. Two
douchebags and a microphone. We talk. Is this...
Have you ever wondered what something came about?
Have you ever looked at something and said, Hey,
I wonder what the origin of that is? Well, so
have we. That's why we give you... the origin
of the origin of the middle finger the origin
of the middle finger gesture is an insult is
debated but it's widely believed gap roots in
ancient greece and rome specifically asleep to
phallic symbolism and used as a way to express
insults taunt or even more people the specific
origins are unclear the middle finger has been
documented as a gesture of disrespected anger
for over two millennia strange but true When
Howard Schnitzer had a heart attack at a grocery
store in Rubel, Minnesota in 2011, 20 people
lined up and performed CPR on him for over an
hour and a half until paramedics arrived. When
the paramedics arrived via helicopter, they witnessed
an astonishing scene. Mary Sadova, a Mayo Clinic
flight nurse who flew in on the emergency helicopter
saying, it was unbelievable. There were probably
20 in line. Waited their turn to do CPR. They
just kept slide -climbing through. Thankfully,
54 -year -old Schnitzer survived the ordeal.
And now, Deep Thoughts with Mark. Why do they
call it quicksand if it takes so slow to sink?
Hmm. I may never know. Your mama's so fat, she
makes Godzilla look like an etching figure. Two
douchebags and a microphone. My name is Mark
here in the Kansas City area. And my name is
Rob in the beautiful, nightly warm Lake of the
Ozarks. Hell yeah, that's right. It is beautiful
and is soon to be full of boats. Oh my God, today
is gorgeous. Oh, it was almost 90 up here. The
water is beautiful today. Oh, I bet it is. I
bet it is. I can't wait to get down there somewhere,
either there or... eureka springs or uh table
rock or somewhere we'll see where where this
summer takes us we'll see it's that time of year
it it is very much and um love that whole area
down there it's such a great retreat so i mean
for me because i live up here but you're there
all the time so uh but it sounds like you still
enjoy it so that's good oh i love it here that's
great good That's really good. Well, Rob, I was
rearranging the Talk is Cheap studio, and I'm
trying to add a couple of things in here and
get things moved around a little bit, because
eventually we do want to go to video, and it's
going to take some doing, a little trickery and
a little this and that and what have you, and
I've got to have some new storage spaces to get
some things out of the way here. I mean, I don't
want to call my stuff junk, but... I mean, to
a lot of people would be, you know, I have all
this stuff here that is important to me and probably
nobody else. So I got to find a central place
to get the little knickknacks and stuff that
I don't want to get rid of that I love, but other
people don't necessarily want to look at, right?
So when I was rearranging the studio, I found
an old rubber stamp set. Do you remember those?
It's used for legal documents and office papers.
Okay. So I can arrange the letters to make any
word or any sentence. It looks really official.
So that coordinated with I finally fully unpacked
from the cruise and I found 10 Carnival Cruise
Line envelopes. The envelopes are designed for
you to, you know, give people tips that help
you out a lot. You know, you put them in the
envelope, put their name on it and either turn
it into somebody that's in that area because
they're not always there. or find them and give
it to them personally. And the envelopes are
cool looking. They have the Carnival logo on
it in color. So what I'm thinking about doing
here, Rob, and, you know, you got to play the
grown -up like always, okay? You know, you're
always the guy who's like, you know, Mark, maybe
that's not a good idea. Well, this is one of
those ones where I'm either going to need to
go, ha -ha, that's fucking great, or... No, Mark,
that's a good way to get in trouble. So just
hear me out here, and I want your opinion. Okay,
like I said, the Carnival envelopes are really
cool looking, and the logo and the color, and
it looks official. So I'm thinking about stamping
out a few free cruises to some unsuspecting victims.
I'll give them Carnival's real number. And the
stamp set... I could stamp in cursive or print
and add numbers as well. So what do you think?
I mean, could they catch me maybe if I did this?
I mean, is there a way to catch me? Is there
a law against this? There's a few people that
need a trick like this. I don't know. I don't
know. Do you like the trick like me? Yeah. Yeah.
Yes, I do. Yeah. Yeah, well, I mean. Our humor,
yeah. Yeah, yeah, it is our humor, and it's really
mean. And it's calculated. It's going to really
piss somebody off. So that means we want to do
it. And this is in tandem with the publishers
clearing house, you know, when I was on the cruise
telling me that I won when it was obviously bullshit,
you know. So I'm thinking about doing this. I
think I'm going to look around on the Internet
a little bit first and make sure there isn't
something like if I do this. and they catch me,
I owe them a cruise or something. You see what
I'm saying? Yeah? Yeah. So I'm going to look
around, but if this does work, a few people I
know are going to get this free cruise, supposedly,
and they're going to be calling up Carnival Demand
in their cruise, and it's going to be really
funny. I may not ever hear exactly what happened,
or I might, and I think it's awesome. So I will
let everybody know. And Mitch, this is for you.
Some idiot from Oak... Oh, no, no, no. Mitch,
I love Mitch. We both love Mitch. He's awesome.
So this is for you, Mitch. Some idiot from Oak
Grove is trying to impersonate you. So what I'm
going to do is I'm going to email you a special
code. And when you email us in the subject line,
I want you to put in the code I sent you. All
others will be deleted immediately. You know,
if that idiot that's trying to do this. We have
ran across this before. Yes. But we busted him.
Yeah, and this guy's busted again. So, you know,
there's IP addresses and all kinds of shit. So,
and also, Mitch, what I'm going to do is, like
I said, I am going to put a special code in the
subject line of the email I sent you. And then
I want you in the subject line to put that code
in so I know it's you. And if it's anyone else
that says they're Mitch, it's going to be deleted
immediately without reading it. You know, if
that idiot that's trying to impersonate you,
if he was a car, he would have a salvage title,
right? I bet I know who it is. You do. You do.
I bet it's Clint. I don't think it's Clint. It's
the other guy. The guy from Oak Grove that wants
to smack me in the face with a microphone. Oh,
yes. Okay. Yeah, that idiot. I think his name
is Richard. Fuck, I don't remember. Well, I haven't
been speaking about this very much because he
periodically tries to harass me, and I periodically
tell him to go fuck himself. So it hasn't been
a big deal. But then when he tries to take a
good person, a good listener like Mitch, you
know, try to trick me into thinking that they
hate us or saying bad stuff. That really pisses
me off because Mitch is a great listener and
we love him. And so this idiot, he's not going
to know the code. So go ahead and keep breaking
them off. You're not going to know the code.
And when you send it in, I know it's not Mitch.
So you can eat a bowl of shit flakes unsweetened
with milk. All right, Rob, I hear angels and
harps. Good. I need that in my life today. I
know, after the day you had, and also the day
I had. Yeah, both of us. Yeah. Everything's fine,
but I mean, I just... Everything just backfired
today. So, okay. I hear angels and harps, and
you might ask why. Well, here it is. Yeah, why?
Ice cream Pop -Tarts. Okay, I'll erase that one.
Ice cream Pop -Tarts. Yeah. It was one of my
bottom ones anyway. Don't worry about it. Oh,
you got it. Sorry, Rob. I have that one. Sorry.
Go ahead. Go ahead. Okay, well, it said right
now they're available in chocolate, strawberry,
ice lemon, and a couple of surprise flavors.
What else did you read? Is that the flavors you
have, or do you have some other ones? Because
I heard there's other ones, too. No, that's pretty
much what I have. That's pretty much what you
had? Okay. Yeah. Okay. Very cool. So I'm outside
cleaning off the pool cover and getting ready
to get it cranked up for the summer season. It
hit 90 today in areas just south of us and over
in Kansas. We were a solid 88 and pretty humid.
So like always, you know, it was 55 one week
ago, the high temperature, and bam, 90 degrees
just like that. So I'm cleaning off the cover
with my headphones cranked, cranking a music
service. And, you know, I'm listening to my usual
favorite songs and stuff like that. And then
a Wells Fargo commercial comes on, right? And
it said earning 2 % back is such a great deal
that people will jump in front of you at a restaurant
and pay for your meal because they want to get
that 2 % back, right, Rob? Yeah. Okay. Well,
here's my plan, okay? My plan is to get all my
friends I do dinner with to get them signed up
to this 2 % card. You'll never have to pay for
tacos again, Rob. Yeah, they're going to have
that 2%. They're going to go, bam, here, I got
it. I'm getting 2 % back, bitch, and you're not.
Okay, well, I guess you're going to pay for my
tacos. Cool. So that's my plan. Everybody I know
that I go out with and have dinner with, they're
going to have that 2 % card, and they're going
to jump in front of me to pay. So I'm going to
go out to eat a lot more. What about you? Honestly,
I've been eating out probably too much lately.
Pretty much every meal, even lunch. Yeah, same
here. Same here. I've been more important lately.
Come on. You know what? You know what, Rob? I
spoil myself. You've got to spoil yourself. You
work your ass off. I mean, you handle heavy steel
every day. I could not do that anymore. I could
not do that. I'm glad I'm out of that industry.
And you're getting up there to the age I was
when I got out of it. I'm right there. Yeah,
I'm telling you. And then the bad thing, or just
to give you the good news after that, is this
right here. As you go and do other types of work,
you're going to start noticing your body fucked
up. Oh, I know. I already know. But it's going
to get worse. There's something about doing lighter
work, and you start noticing what happened to
you when you're doing that heavy work. But you
know what? It is what it is. You know what? I
made a good living. You're doing fine. So anyhow,
you know what? But back to this card again. Better
yet, here's what I want to do. I have a hernia
surgery coming up at the end of October. You
know what? 2 % of 80 ,000 is Rob. 2 % of 80 ,000.
That's a lot of fucking toasters. So here's what
I do. I sign everybody up. I know up with that
2 % card. And then I'm going to suggest I got
an $80 ,000 surgery coming up. Someone will jump
in front of another person to pay for it to get
that 2%, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So there we
go. So there's a black bear tooling around Grandview,
Rob. Oh, no shit. Yeah, it's a good size one,
too. It's a really good size one, too, dude.
And they have it on. We get them swimming in
the lake down here from time to time. People
catch them on video. I have seen. You watch on
Lake Area happening. Yeah, I've seen that on
there. And so they saw one in Pleasant Hill a
couple of years ago, and people just thought
it was random. Well, now one is running around
Grandview, which is not very far from where I
live. It's only a few miles. Yeah, right there.
Yeah, people have been catching this. This guy,
they've been catching them on their ring cameras.
So the last I knew, they were in Bates and Henry
County, right? And they weren't up here yet.
So now they're up here, but they've had a lot
of confirmed sightings in Bates and Henry County.
But I guess they went through Cass County real
quick and made it up to here. So this right here
shows you, Rob. This shows you right here that
meth is a gateway drug because it's now looking
for crack. And the bear slipped right through
the gate. Yes. So he was down in Bates, Henry
County, you know. Now he's up here in the crack.
Oh, no. You said they went right past. Right
through Cass County. They had nothing to do.
It went through there and said, no. Hey, Cass
County's my home. Come on. I got to do this shit.
Listen, I talk to people there regularly. And
they know I constantly badger them. But like
I said, I said, I badger myself. It's a joke.
And most of them realize it except for a couple
of them. But those couple of people, if they
even listen to this at all, I don't give a fuck.
You're an idiot. And the people in those areas
that do listen to us, tell them the truth. Yeah,
I mean, like Mitch, he's always, always making
parody of, well, besides Fuckhammer, but Freeman
Lake and all this stuff. So, I mean, to me, to
me, it's like this. He knows what's going on
in that area. He knows the local news. Yeah,
a lot of our listeners do. They know we're telling
the truth. Yeah, yes. And Mitch knows it. And
I kind of think of it like this, is this right
here. The intelligent ones know it and laugh
about it. The non -intelligent ones get offended.
And that's because they know that I'm probably
talking about them. See what I'm saying? But
any normal human being that lives down there
is kind of like, ha -ha, yep, oh, you got us.
You know, he could say whatever about me. And
if it was somewhat truthful or a little bit,
I'd be like, ha -ha, okay, you got me. And I
think only the people that are not that savvy
or intelligent are the ones that are like, you
know, get offended by it. Do you think that's
probably correct? Yeah, yeah, yeah, all the way.
Yeah, I mean, I think intelligent people see
parody and they see humor really well. I think
non -intelligent people don't. I think they take
it personally and I think they get all huffy
and puffy and their little bird chest, you know,
and their little bitty fists in the air and stuff
like that. So that's kind of what I put it. Anyone
down there that has a problem with this, that's
kind of the way I view them. And I don't necessarily
care what you think. So, all right. Some dumbass
is on our ass about doing the drink of the week.
Just because they're a recovering alcoholic,
this person thinks he has to alter everybody's
life to fit them. And this guy sent me several
emails, and he said that, you know, the drink
of the week is promoting alcoholism. Do you believe
that? I wish I was joking. Let me know when I
can freely speak. Speak. I've been fighting alcoholism
for years. That's how I fight it. I joke about
it. We talk about it. That's how you fight it.
That's how you fight any addiction. You gotta
talk about it and deal with it. You can't ignore
it. Rob, thank you. That's all I got to say.
Okay. Any addition. Okay. All right. Well, thank
you, Rob. This shows me that I'm not, I didn't
think so anyhow, but this really shows me, this
truly illustrates that I'm not doing anything
bad by this. This is entertainment. No, you're
not, dude. Yeah, dude, I love it. I thought it
was a great segment, too. Just because a person
has an addiction doesn't matter. mean that it
does not exist in the world. Dude, last time
I quit drinking for three years, I also DJed
in bars at the same time. I fought it. Just saying.
Rob, you just said some powerful things. I don't
know if you realize how powerful it was. Yeah,
yeah, I do. No, I do. I mean it. I know you do.
I can tell by your voice. Go ahead. Go ahead,
Rob. No, no. That's all I got. Oh, okay. I'm
done. Okay. All right. And, Rob, you know if
you ever need any support at all, all jokes aside,
everything aside, I'm always here. Honestly,
Mark, I have the support I need right now. Okay.
Okay. Okay. And it's working. God bless. Awesome.
Yeah. Good. All right. You know, and here's one
more thing about it, and then we'll get to you
and what you want to talk about. You know, I
see people that smoke every day, and I smoke
a cigar here and there, right? This does not
want me to go smoke at Thorpe. I'm up two cash
today. Still a year later. Oh, okay. Yeah. Well,
I want to quit. Okay. My next battle. You know
what? Yeah, I don't think you want to do them
both at once. Well, no, I've already quit the
chewing. Oh, I know. That's what I'm saying.
I'm talking about alcoholism and smoking. Oh,
yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, Rob, you'll do it.
I'll figure it out along the way. I know what
kind of person you are. I know what kind of man
you are. You'll get it done. You'll get it done.
You know, maybe I was thinking of this, and you
tell me if you think this is stupid or not, I
will take your word on it. Should I mix in maybe
a virgin cocktail every now and then on a few
shows? Yeah, that might be a good idea. Okay.
Yeah, that way we don't send anything. Okay.
I get the email. It could be offensive. If you
want to read it, if you think maybe you could...
Help this person? I can forward it to you. Yeah,
forward it to me. I'll look it over. Okay. I
mean, it's something I'm battling right now,
so it's something I could use help with. I'm
saying I have the backup I need now. I have Shannon.
That's great. Shannon, I've never met you, but
I already like you. Well, she's getting to be
like Val. Cool. Cool. Keeping you in line? No.
She don't want to listen to the show. Fair enough.
And keeping me in line. Yeah. Okay, this tells
me we're on the right track of what we're trying
to do. What we're trying to do makes women vomit
and makes men chuckle. But some of our biggest
listeners are women. It's just the women that
live with us. I know. I like to make a joke.
We are or we should be by our subjects and how
we talk a male skewing show, but I've always
thought that's very misleading because a lot
of the morning shows that we all used to listen
to and grew up with had a lot of female listeners.
It's very deceiving. I think men are more vocal
about listening to it, and I think women are
more like, I'm going to catch a little bit of
it, but I'm not going to tell anybody I'm listening
to it because that's vulgar or whatever, right?
I think there's a lot of that going on. Now it
can't really be hid because they have the new
Nelson ratings and they do it differently. They
just call it in and going, Hey, who do you listen
to? You know, and they found out that a lot of
people bullshit and try to sound cooler and whoever
the big fucking rocking dog is in town, the ones
that are listening to. K -U -D -L or whatever
the fuck, or Mix 93 or something, right? The
ones that are listening to that, you always go,
yeah, I'm listening to that rock station trying
to sound cool. And actually, I was a lie. They're
listening to some easy listening station. They
found that there was a lot of that going on for
people to try to look cooler. So the Nelson ratings,
they actually give monitors to people and they
check out their listening habits. So it's a little
bit more accurate. So anyhow, I didn't want to
get into any of that. Rob, we turn it to you.
All righty. Okay. Yeah, we were talking about
Gene Simmons and his 12 ,000 -something a night
to be his roadie. Yep. We have a winner. Ding,
ding. Okay, I'm ready for it. There's a reason
why this was even mentioned. I kind of like the
story. Well, back in March, Gene Simmons revealed
that he was offering the opportunity to be his
roadie for a night. The kid's bassist and co
-lead singer 75 dubbed it the ultimate Gene Simmons
experience before slapping him with a $12 ,495.
$1 ,000 price tag. Dwayne Rosado, a retired corrections
sergeant, and his 13 -year -old son, Zach, paid
the fee and got to go live out their roadie dreams
while the Gene Simmons Band played on Monday,
May 5th at the Count Basie Center. for the arts
in Red Bank, New Jersey. Speaking with the New
York Times in an interview published on Monday,
May 12th, Rosado, 52, was diagnosed with multiple
sclerosis a year and a half ago. Uh -huh. Wow.
It was about the once -in -a -lifetime experience.
You only live once. I want to experience life,
he told the publication. I'm not going to die
with a lot of money. I'm going to die happy.
Ahead of the concert, the trio dined on takeout
from a local Italian place where Simmons shared
tidbits from his eccentric life including losing
his virginity at the age of 13 or 14 to a married
woman. On his newspaper delivery route. Solid.
Yeah. Solid. Some people paying $12 ,495 would
be out of the question. But according to Rosado,
it was absolutely worth it. Dude, I get it. I
get it. And I was kind of questioning that when
we were giving shit about it. There would be
somebody probably terminally ill or something.
It would make... I understand what you're saying.
Why doesn't Gene Simmons do that and not charge
people? Why doesn't he go to children's hospitals?
I do go there. I do go there. And that's why
I said that, is because... Yes. I'm glad the
guy got to do it. I'm glad it made his life and
everything, but I still view it as a ripoff,
in my opinion. It disgusts me. This is all my
opinion. I think that if you're in that position
and have that kind of capital, and that kind
of fame that you should maybe use it for something
else besides self -profit. If he was doing that
and sending it to a charity, I'd be like, man,
Gene, you're fucking awesome. But the fact is,
it looks like he's pocketing it. So therefore,
I have to say, I think that that is a piece of
shit move, in my opinion. And I don't think I'm
ever going to... No, you're right. Yeah, it is
a piece of shit move. But the reason why I brought
it is... No, no, no. I love that. What he did
for the fans. But yeah, Gene Simmons, you're
a piece of shit, dude. Yep. Just saying. In our
opinions. All right, do you want to take our
first break and come back with some emails? We
got some interesting ones again. Shit, I thought
we already went through emails. Kind of. Okay.
Let's go through emails. Okay, we'll be right
back. We found land! Oh my god, I think we're
safe! Oh no! It's the island of horrible jokes!
What did the zero say to the eight? That belt
looks good on you. You watch the news. It looks
grim. Is an apocalypse inevitable? We suggest
you download all our podcasts beforehand and
have multiple mobile chargers. We have the post
-apocalypse. Norse code is an essential must
-know post -apocalypse. Go to a library or look
it up online. Learn Norse code. This code could
save your life. Many survivalists have learned
Norse code to alert other dwellers of possible
danger or where there could be clean water or
their whereabouts. Next up, Things Overheard
in Hell. Man, Axl Rose is such a great childhood
therapist. I hope he writes more books. Hi, all.
This is Chicago. I am the most dangerous city
in North America. You can't touch me. Oh, yeah?
This is Kansas City here. Hold my beer, bitch.
Harambe used to listen to our original show,
Two Dipshits and Cheap Radio Shack Realistic
Tape Recorder. Harambe does not listen to our
original show, Two Dipshits and a Cheap Radio
Shack Realistic Tape Recorder anymore. You might
ask why Harambe never listens to our original
show, Two Dipshits and a Cheap Radio Shack Realistic
Tape Recorder. Well, it's because Harambe is
dead. Senselessly murdered because some idiot
did not watch her child properly while looking
on her phone. Sadly, Arambe does not listen to
our original show, Two Gibshits and the Cheap
Radio Shedack Realistic Dig Recorder, or any
other show. Anymore. Sorry, Arambe. Strange,
but true. In 1962, President John F. Kennedy
ordered 1 ,200 Cuban cigars right before he made
them illegal. Your mama's so stupid, she thought
lightsabers were less calories. So you want proof
that we love you here at QD Spades and Microphone
Central? Here's a proof right here. How about
the drink of the week? Hey, sporty pants. How
about a black currant margarita? 24 ounces tequila.
The best or wow good. 20 ounces cream big cassay.
96 ounce big bucket margarita mixer. Garnished
with lined wheels. Served in a tall pollens glass.
Combining ingredients with Big Buffy. Stir, seal,
and open the vent. Freeze and serve. Enjoy, Pokers.
Have at it. Phone, I'm Mark here in the Kansas
City vicinity. And I am Rob in the beautiful
Anglarmo. What's the deal, sir? All right. Well,
Rob, should we get to set emails? Yes, let's
do. All right. Mark, what would be a great random
thing to do to mess with someone's head? This
guy keeps parking so close to me and making me
have to get in the passenger side of my car.
I've had that happen to the city market a lot.
It pisses me off. They have narrow parking spaces
and some idiots don't know how to drive. And
they will literally block you in and you have
to get in through the back of your Jeep or some
shit. And you know what? I want to take a fucking
hammer to their car. I passed by this idiot in
my works building. This guy doesn't know I know
he is the one that's doing this. I had a security
friend roll surveillance tape on him. Rob in
Fort Worth. Sounds like you know his habits.
Let's see. I know what you do. Okay. When you're
walking by him one day, smile and say, That would
suck if someone stole the battery out of your
car and then just walk off. What do you think,
Rob? My opinion, well, he asked your opinion,
but my opinion. No, go ahead. Move to the stick.
Move what? Don't have, move to the sticks. You
don't have all the traffic. You don't have the
parking problems. Well, I mean, this is like
his, sounds like his work. Yeah, my work's building.
Oh, my work's building? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It sounds like it's an office building and there's
different people at work there. He said he passes
by the dick every day. So, I don't know. I mean,
I do something like that. I go, just look at
him and he doesn't know you and he doesn't know
that you're the one that drives that car that
he keeps boxing in. Just go, man, that would
suck if someone stole the battery out of your
car. Then just walk off. Wouldn't that fuck you
up? I'd be like, huh, what? I mean, he'd be paranoid,
and I don't think he'd be barking. He wouldn't
be parking near anybody. Okay, what is it? Oh,
I like that better. I like that better. Thank
you, Rob. Okay, there. Wait till he pulls in.
Take the day off. Whatever you got to do. Come
in late. Let him pull in first. And then you
box him in. Just a minute or two late. Just be
a minute or two late or normal. Yeah. Rob, you
are a certified fucking genius. You are a genius.
There we go. Okay, forget battery out of your
car. Do that. Yeah, I could. Well, no. Then the
law gets involved for tampering with a motor
vehicle. Oh, no, I'm not talking about really
stealing his battery. I'm talking about saying
that. Oh, see, back then we really would have
took his battery. Yeah, yeah, I'm not talking
about that. What I'm talking about is just suggesting
that to him and making him paranoid. And he'd
be like, what? Why would someone steal my battery?
And then, in my opinion, I don't think he'd be
parking near people anymore. He would be parking
away from everybody. But I like your idea better.
I would do that anyway. I would do, yeah. I like
your idea. Just, you know, give him a dose of
his own medicine. There you go. Rob in Fort Worth.
You should ask Rob in Camdenton. Rob in Camdenton
has much better advice than Mark in Kansas City
does. So remember that. Two years is so off the
wall. We love it. I had to come up with something
really quick because I didn't really read these
things. I was in a hurry when I got out of doing
the pool and everything. So, anyhow. All right.
Rob, could you embroider a Fuckhammer sweater
for myself and the guys? And also, we could also
use a fender for a 1983 Chevy van. Please and
thank you. Mitch on Fucker Hammer's houseboat
floating on the beautiful Massey Creek arm of
Lake Freeman. Rob? Mitch, for you, yes, I will.
I will embroider it, but for the guys, no. Mitch
only. Okay, but what about the fender? What was
it? Fuck. Here we go, like Montrose. Is he originally
from Montrose? I thought, didn't we get it? We
did get a Mitch. We did get a Mitch from Montrose.
What was it? Okay. We could also use a fender
for a 1983 Chevy van. Please and thank you. Okay.
Oh, look. Okay, there you go. He's going to look
into it, Mitch. And enjoy Fuckhammer's houseboat.
I hear it's amazing. All right. Rob and Mark,
I just got four people in my gym to listen to
the show. Love you guys. Ronnie and Tulsa, the
Tulsa King. Thank you. Love you, Tulsa King.
Thank you. Thank you, Ronnie. You are the best.
And I mean that. And so is Mitch. You guys are...
The two ones that clearly stand out. Next one.
Rob, now that you have a girlfriend, does that
mean no loincloth pictures? Jen and Madison.
Oh, no. She likes a loincloth, too. There you
go. There you go, Jen. She don't mind. She don't
mind. Okay, you still get loincloth photos from
Rob. So there you go, you can't beat that one.
As long as she's present when they're taken.
That's the only... No Marilyn Monroe for you
where you're standing on a vent? Yeah, no air
blowing it up. None of that. You don't get any
of that, you just get the loincloth. Are you
going to dress up like the Village People Indian
guy with, like, the war paint on your face? I
could. Yeah, I think that'd be great. I think
you need to do that. Oh, dude. Okay, yeah, I'm
switching my next story just because of that.
Oh, no. I don't know what we just did, but I
kind of feel bad about it already. Next one.
Where the fuck was I? Okay. Mark, you being a
cruise aficionado, do you have an opinion on
Virgin Cruises? Mickey in Illinois. Okay. Virgin
is a pamper. It's adult only and it's a pamper
line. That's where you go in there to relax.
You're not going to have a bunch of people from
what I understand. Well, there are decks, I think,
that party quite a bit. But it depends on what
you want on a cruise. I mean, do you have a family?
If you want a family, you're not going to take
them on Virgin because it's only adults. Now,
from what I understand, they pamper you really
good. It's a very high -end cruise. I don't know,
since it's adult only, if it's kind of like adult
oriented, like there might be a bunch of swingers
on there or something. I don't know. I've never
been on Virgin and I never had the inkling to.
To me, I just don't like the whole setup of it.
But from what I've seen, the boats are immaculate.
But my suggestion is this right here. Call Wendy
Whitbeck of Travel Masters. Look her up. Call
her up and ask her. Ask her about Virgin. She's
been on all of them. She knows what she's doing.
She is the best around. She's my travel agent.
And I got everybody at work on her too. And she
is the best. She's been everywhere. She can tell
you the hotels to stay at. She can tell you what
airline is the cheapest. All this. She is amazing.
I remember Southwest took and deleted my airline
one night because I tried to advance to business
class. And I guess the card didn't go through.
But instead of giving me my original Reservations,
they canceled them all. And she helped me find
something at 1 in the morning. I was supposed
to leave at 5 in the morning to KCI. She found
me a flight 1 in the morning. So, Mickey. Mickey
in Illinois. Call her. Text her. Ask her. She
would be able to tell you more about it. Hey,
Mark. I just had an idea. It's up to you whether
you want to or not. Okay. But why don't you ask
Wendy if we could start calling her the travel
queen? I will. I will. I think it'd be good.
The travel queen. Okay. All right. And you know
what? I will also ask her for, I'm going to start
giving out her phone number and also her email
and her messenger. With her permission. Yeah,
I've got to have her permission first, but I'm
pretty sure she won't mind it. So, all right.
Wendy Whitbeck, the best. I'm not joking you.
You will write me back and thank me once you
use her. So. All right. Next one. Where the hell
was I? Man, I'm all just all about the place.
I hate it whenever I come in and I download everything
at once because I'm running behind and then I
got to like, yeah. Oh, anyhow. All right. We
were both around close tonight. Yeah, we were.
Hey, I think Mark is the self -confessed sugar
snob. Oh, you put if two times. Hang on. Sorry
if I'm wrong. What is your second favorite real
sugar drink? We all know Mexican Coke is your
all -time favorite. Saul from Long Island. What
would be my second favorite? That's a fair enough
question. That's a good question. I like it.
I would say 7 -Up in the bottle. that looks like
the old -fashioned bottle. They sell it at the
specialty stores like KC Soda Company and places
like that. It's real sugar 7 -Up. It's in a green
bottle, and it has the same logo it did back
in the 70s and early 80s. And I remember when
I was going on field trips, my mom would always
pack me a couple of those bottles and give me
a bottle opener to open it up. And that was only
for field trips. Other than that, I didn't get
soda pop unless we're going to the lake. And
to me, that just holds a special thing in my
heart. You know, I remember it very well, and
I'm very fond of those memories. And I also like
the taste of it, too. So I would say Real Sugar
7 -Up in a green bottle and the retro logo, which
they do sell. So you just got to find it because
it's kind of hard to find. So that is, I think
that's, hang on, there's something stuck to it.
Okay, that's all the emails. Oh, no, no. I got
one featured one. We might go into it a little
bit later, but I'm kind of tired of the subject.
We'll see. We'll see how we're doing on time.
So, Rob, go ahead. Well, now you got my interest,
Pete. Well, here... Okay. No, no, no. Okay. No,
I wasn't going to go into it. I was laughing
about the village people. Uh -huh. Okay. The
Eleazar's Amphitheater, right here in Campton,
Missouri. Uh -huh. Announce that it will be hosting
KC and the Sunshine Band this summer. Yay! KC
and the Sunshine Band will perform in Campton
on Saturday, August 9th, starting at 7 p .m.
They are known for hits such as That's the Way
I Like It, Shake, Shake, Shake Your Booty, and
more. The band will be joined by the musical
group Village People. That's why I started laughing,
dude. Didn't know that for a while. Yeah. This
was just announced today. Nice. This concert
was just announced today. Pre -sale tickets.
go live on Thursday, May 15th at 10 a .m. And
general tickets will go on sale Friday at 10
a .m. Cool. You were talking about this. It was
in my lineup for the night anyway. And at first
I destroyed your Pop -Tarts. But you midget village
people, boom, here we go. That sounds like a
great lineup. Are you going to go to that? Okay.
All right. To me, that sounds like a fun concert.
You know, that thing's going to sell out, too,
because everybody's going to be down there at
the lake having fun, partying. They're going
to be at a... Is there still Four Seasons down
there? And then Tantera is now Margaritaville.
Okay. Yeah, Margaritaville, yeah. Yeah, people
are going to be there. Yeah, the Darius Rutgers,
July 26th. That is going to be a party. There's
going to be a lot of people down there just having
a blast. And I did Google to find out. I was
just curious. I did Google to see if he did Hootie
and the Blowfish songs during his concerts. He
does. He does like three or four Hootie songs.
That's good because he had some songs. I'm glad
Sam talked me into buying the tickets. There
you go, Sam. Good job. All right. Do you want
to take a break first, or do you want to go to
our top seven if I won the lottery of $22 million,
courtesy of Ronnie and Tulsa, the Tulsa King?
You told me $30 million, man. You just cut me
out at $8 million. $30 million. That might cut
me close. I did that by memory. It probably was
$30 million. So I didn't look at the original
email. I was just like, 22 million. Okay. Now
let's go into it. Okay. Rob, be my guest. Okay.
The first thing I got to mention, and it will
not cost, so it does not go on this list, I would
retire. Yeah. It does not go on this list. Yeah.
And then... The first thing I would do, I would
book me a month -long cruise. Oh, yeah. Month
-long. Yeah. And then I would come home. I would
buy me an RV with, like, one of them toy haulers
in the back. Mm -hmm. The big, long RVs and,
you know, how you haul your dirt bikes, dune
buggies, whatever in the back. Uh -huh. I think
I could fit my Nissan Frontier in one. Cool.
It would have to have the toy haul. That way
I wouldn't have to tow it, you know. Yeah. No
rocks kicking up, breaking the windshield. Cool.
Are you going to have your work make that? Dude,
I have $40 million. Okay, you're going to go
to... All right, there you go. No, I was saying,
would you give them the work? Would you have
them do a custom? Oh, no, no. They could not
do an RV. Okay. Well, we don't have the fabric
and stuff to do the beds. Oh, okay, gotcha. Okay.
If it was just a trailer, yeah. Okay. Okay, and
then I would buy some property in the Rockies.
Good one. In the Rocky Mountains. And I would
put one, two... Four houses on it. Very cool.
What are the four houses for? Me and kids. Oh,
cool. Very cool. And we'll be in Iraq. He's away
from all the bullshit. Yep. Okay. Next. I would
donate $10 ,000 to the Sealand Embassy, Missouri
chapter. Hell yeah. Hey, he's moving into the
new house this weekend. He's going to need help
with the embassy. That's true. I'd donate $10
,000. Yeah. Good point. I'm glad you're thinking
of him, and I'm sure he is, too. He's going to
have to put a new flagpole up, you know, put
a new building out there. Yeah. You know what
we need to do is we need to make a Sealand Facebook
page. I think they have one. Oh, there is one?
Oh, okay. I think. Hell, I don't know. They probably
do. I just haven't looked. I would buy a small
internet service. Okay. For the Rockies? I'd
get internet for free. There you go. And if I
buy an RV, what do you think I'm going to be
doing retired? Traveling. Traveling and you'll
have internet. Good idea. And next... You're
going to love this one. Okay. I'm going to build
a home for Mitch so he can keep his ass at one
spot. Can Fuckhammer live with him, or are they
forbidden? I don't give a shit. All right, Mitch.
I'm tired of bouncing. Well, I know he's been
on Massey Creek for a while. Yeah, yeah, and
you notice he didn't... He's standing with Massey
Creek. He's not sitting in South Grand. I noticed
that right off. Well, I'll build him a nicer
home there to keep him there. How's that? There
you go. I love that, Rob. And lastly, and lastly,
you're going to love this one, too. Okay. I'm
going to build Knob Lake a power plant. Oh, man.
And what about Montrose? I said I'm going to
build my own power plant. Montrose, you're shit
out of luck. My back is turned on Montrose. There
you go, Montrose. That's what you get for lying
to us. Acting like you still had a power plant.
Yep. All right, Rob. Yours? I'll look into your
83 Chevy favor. Okay? All right, there you go,
Mitch. You can't be happier than that. Come on.
All right. And a new house. Well, after you said
that about Gene Simmons, it didn't sway my mind
any. So, number seven, I have a buy a Gene Simmons
12 ,000 pass and wear an Ace Frehley rules shirt
and Gene Simmons is a greasy fat bitch shirt
on the back. Because that's the way I feel about
it. I'm glad that guy had a good time and I understand
he's dying and all that. But I still feel about
that, you know, that way. That is my opinion
about it. So, number six. A home that's all skylight
ceilings. And this is interesting. In the Rockies.
Like where you wanted to build your house. Your
houses. Number six. No, no, no. Number five.
A regular home. And this would be at an undetermined
location. Somewhere around here because family's
around here. But I'm not sure where exactly.
I have my mind on a couple of places. But in
this home is going to be a pinball room. Complete
with 12 vintage pinball games. Elvira. Kiss.
Empire Strikes Back. Old Chicago. An Old Midway
Funhouse Clown Pinball Machine. I forgot what
the name of it is. Black Sabbath Pinball Machine.
Prohibition Whiskey Barrel from Williams. Forgot
that name too, but you'd know it if you'd seen
it. The Carpenters Pinball. Wolfman Jack Pinball.
James Bond Roger Moore Edition Pinball. A Led
Zeppelin Pinball Machine. a Godzilla pinball
machine as well. Number four, a home in Curacao.
Number three, a suit of armor, number eight,
polished stainless, 12 foot tall. Two, a new
Ford Bronco fleet of them. And number one, a
financial advisor. Rob, let's take our break.
Are you there? We're taking our break. I don't
know where Rob is. I can't hear you. Oh, okay.
Okay. All right, we're getting ready to take
our break. We'll be right back. All right. Invisible
ass paddlings, new douche flavors, and horrible
pranks? The fuck is wrong with these guys? Why,
Whataburger, you say? Well, because what a deep
-fried crispy chicken nugget just didn't have
the right ring. Hey there, fuckstick. You're
just in time for brand new feature news nobody
gives a shit about. In a remote area in France...
An armadillo was found alive and no one knows
how it got there. Our constant pursuit for a
real knee slapper. It's strange insults from
an alien. Real hilarity. You are dressed like
an assistant debate coach at an Ohio State middle
school. Now it's time for pick up lines from
a loser. You're pretty and I'm cute. Together
we could be. Pretty cute. Have you ever wondered
what something came about? Have you ever looked
at something and said, Hey, I wonder what the
origin of that is? Well, so have we. That's why
we give you the origin of... The origin of the
nose ring. The middle east is the birthplace
of the nostril ring, piercing, tracking back
4 ,000 years. Nostrils... were held as a status
of upper class if they were pierced with a ring.
Rob can now be rented for children's parties
and bar mitzvahs. That's right. Come on and rent
you a Rob today. That's right. Come by and rent
Rob for a day. A day! A day! Watch Rob consume
seven bottles a night and still break dance and
moonwalk. Watch Rob Red fart down a building.
Fart down a building! Rob Red. who assumes no
responsibility whatsoever. He is not a babysitter,
and he doesn't give one hell of a shit about
your children. Please remember to corral every
little bastard you have before Rob gets there,
and while we'll not put up with any backtalk,
we will promptly get them in the place. Rob Rehag
assumes no responsibility for anything that could
be stolen from his visit. Rob Rehag has no responsibility
whatsoever in any outcome of any situation. Read
a Rob today. The apocalypse just happened. You
don't know what to do. You don't know where to
go. We can tell you what you can eat. Garlic
mustard could and should be a go -to food during
an apocalypse. Garlic mustard is plentiful everywhere.
It is actually an invasive weed, but it can be
very delicious and easily taken from about any
pasture. Garlic mustard can be stewed or even
pan -fried. for delicious taste. It can also
be added to other ingredients, whether it's a
salad or any other type of food to enhance it.
Garlic mustard should be a go -to staple during
the apocalypse. Yes, it's true. Mark is an old
bastard. It's also true that Mark uses a lot
of ibuprofen. But Mark would like to tell you,
if you see any pictures of him roofing ibuprofen.
It's obviously fake, and you're to take the pictures
and tear them up immediately. Jam X. What the
hell happened? You were the generation of change.
You never wanted to be one of them. Apathy spoke
for you. Fuck the man. Fuck the system. What
the hell happened? The generation of angst? The
generation of non -compliance? Is now buying
a boat? You're really fed up if you kill someone
dangled a dollar near you? Great job, Xers. Everything's
ruined. Two douchebags, a microphone. My name
is Mark here at the Kansas City Chapter. And
I am Rob at the beautiful Niagara Arm of Lake
of the Ozarks. Right on. Rob, you got something
you want to go into? Yes, I do. Feel free, my
friend. I'm going to switch it up. This is a
new product that's coming out. Okay. And I figured
you... You would be interested. Anybody in construction
would be interested. Okay. A biotech startup
from the U .S. is aiming to reshape the construction
industry with the launch of a groundbreaking
new material that mimics the look and feel of
natural wood while outperforming high -grade
steel in strength and durability. Oh, interested?
You heard me right. Wow. Maryland -based firm
Inventwood revealed that their engineering wood
product called Superwood is a result of molecular
-level transformation that turns natural wood
into a material up to a dozen times stronger
and ten times tougher than its original form.
According to the company, which recently closed
a $15 million Series 8 funding round to begin
commercial shipments from its production facility
in Frederick. I don't know where that's at. Between
July and September of 2025, the material boasts
a strength -to -weight ratio nearly 10 times
greater than steel. Wow. Wow. at the University
of Maryland, whose former work focused on carbon
nanotube innovation. Wow. Dude, this shit sounds
badass. That, I tell you what, if you can invest
in that, I would jump on that in a hot second.
Now that you mention that, I just might. Okay.
Yeah. I'll talk to my financial advisor. Yeah.
That right there, I'm going to talk to mine,
too. That right there has... That's going somewhere.
Hopefully, it's not too late to jump on it. So,
wow. Yeah. All right. Right here, I have... Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Okay. without getting up to use the
restroom. It's become viral travel, and it's
a trend on TikTok, where people share videos
of themselves raw -dogging flights as a way to
challenge themselves to show off their resilience.
The term raw -dogging originally referred to
having sex without a condom. However, it has
expanded to mean during something without unusual
protection, preparation, or comfort. And that
term, being used like that, has been around quite
a while. So, in the context of travel, raw dogging
a flight means sitting in silence, staring ahead,
often on an in -flight map, and avoiding any
distractions or comforts like music, movies,
food, or drink. And here's why people do it.
Some see it as a way to challenge themselves
mentally and physically, while others find it
a form of meditation. or a dopamine detox. It's
also been suggested that the trend can be a way
to demonstrate masculinity online. However, I
don't know how that parlays into it, but okay.
While some find it appealing, experts caution
that raw dogging can be detrimental to physical
health. It can even be deadly. Dehydration, blood
clots, and fatigue are some of the risks associated
with extreme versions of this trend, and that
would go into the other parts of it besides travel.
The trend has been popular on TikTok where users
document their raw dogging experiences and share
their challenges with staying awake, eating and
drinking and using the restroom. Sounds like
hell to me. Raw dogging a flight, there's a strange
travel trend that's been going along, says Dr.
Humphrey Seberg. He warns people that it may
sound cute, but it actually can be very detrimental
on a lot of levels. He says he would suggest
not doing it. But, you know, I mean, that's extreme
cases, too. I could go on, but I'm not going
to. I think everyone's got the gist of what I
just said. You can think that's great or you
can hate it to me. I think you can do it. Yeah,
that's fine. There's nothing wrong with it. But
just don't take it to extremes. Agreed, Rob?
Yeah. Yeah. Just don't take it to extremes. Yeah.
So. Rob, you got something. Oh, yeah, I do. Recently
reached footage by authorities shows a tense,
bizarre footage between two New Mexico boys,
ages seven and nine, and police. Despite the
potentially dangerous or even fatal incident,
authorities have decided not to arrest or charge
the youngsters. According to Fox News, the incident
took place on February 16, 2025. However, the
incident gained notoriety on Thursday, May 8,
after the... The Mello County Sheriff's Office
posted footage recorded by drones. Dressed in
Minecraft and Star Wars pajamas, the two young
boys were seen standing behind a covered air
conditioning unit. They were seen... in possession
of a handgun, which they took turns holding.
The six -minute footage shows the kids looking
around as if they were trying to remain undetected.
However, police arrived at the scene and attempted
to de -escalate the situation. According to Bernanello
County Sheriff John Allen, The sheriff's office
knew the boys. Reportedly, they had received
dozens of calls in connection with them and their
families. Put it down, babe, one officer told
one of the boys, according to the U .S. sign.
You're not in trouble, but you have to put it
down and come and talk to us. So it got de -escalated.
That's the good part. That's really good. Yeah,
that could have led to a lot of trouble. I'm
glad they got it figured out. I'm not sure what's
going to happen with the parents yet. That's
what I want to hear. So if you could, like, maybe
keep a track on that, I want to hear what happens
with that. And it could be a ways away, probably,
but I would like to know the answer to that,
please. Yeah, I mean, actually, the very last
line of it says, no information on how the children
got a hold of the gun is available. Okay. All
right. I mean, you know. You can't watch your
kids all the time, so I am accepting of it just
being a complete fluke accident. But we also
know that sometimes people do stupid shit and
leave guns around for children. So I think they
need to unravel it, figure out what happened,
and then take the actions according to that.
Right before that, it does say the gun involved
in the incident was seized by police, which we
figured. It is unclear if authorities plan to
charge the kids' parents, but they reportedly
have not been removed from their home. I think
all that's going to be contingent on the investigation,
don't you? Yeah, yeah. Well, yeah, they got to
investigate the gun. They may have found it elsewhere.
That's what I'm saying. They may have found it
laying on the sidewalk. Listen, we used to have
billy clubs in the woods, playboys, all this
stuff that we weren't supposed to have. We had
hidden in the woods, and our parents had no idea.
We were all just going at it. you know, going
out for a hike. We have beer out there. Some
of us have weed. You know what I mean? We were
all like that when we were children. You know,
we were hiding stuff and doing stuff like that
because that's what children do. You sit there
and you test the limits of everything. You test
the boundaries of everything because that's what
you do as a child, you know? And then that might
include to nowadays with a gun. I mean, you know,
I was, I grew up around guns. and I respected
them, but not all kids have, and I think you
probably have too, haven't you? Didn't you grow
up around guns? Yeah, yes, I did. You learned
to respect them. Yeah, you know what they could
do. So there's a lot of children that didn't
have that happen to them when they were younger,
so they probably don't really know how dangerous
they really are. So, can a sound wave? Help you
lose weight, Rob, do you think? Just a quick
scientific thought. Yeah, I think it could. You
are correct. Can sound waves help you lose weight?
The technique may trick fat cells. This is what
they're saying. This is what they're saying.
Forget fat diets and sketchy supplements. Your
favorite song might be the key to staying thin.
In a new study, Japanese researchers found that
acoustic sound waves can influence how our cells
behave, including halting fat development. I
want to take this a second further. If they can
trick your cells, into behaving and halting fat
development can they trick it out of cancer think
about that just let that settle for a minute
okay yeah that might be pushing it i don't know
so it's just something i thought of really quick
Since sound is non -material, acoustic stimulation
is a tool that is non -evasive, safe, and immediate,
and will likely benefit medicine and health care,
corresponding with Marcio Katoume, said in a
statement. Or I could just say babble snatch.
Sound is more than just noise. It's made up of
mechanical waves that create tiny vibrations
traveling through the air. water or even tissue.
We've long known that animals use vibrations
in their bones to communicate and gather important
information and their surroundings and so do
trees and bushes. They do the same thing. It's
vibrations. But scientists are now, and there's
also more that you can go into, like the string
theory and all that. I mean, if you really want
to really get into it. But scientists are only
now beginning to understand how sound affects
us on a deeper cellular level. The new research
builds on a 2018 study by Kumeta and his team.
Okay, it said a different... Okay, they spelled
it different. His name is Kumeta. Anyhow, Kumeta
and his team that found the sound waves can influence
genes involved in bone formation and wound healing.
To investigate the effect of a sound on a cellular
activity, we designed a system to bathe cultured
cells in acoustic waves, Kumeta said. They tested
three sounds on muscle cells taken from mice.
White noise, a 440 tone. and an A tone on a piano
and a high -pitched 14 kilohertz tone close to
the highest pitch. So, you know, most people
can hear. The results were striking. After just
two hours of sound exposure, 42 genes had changed.
42 after two hours. After 24 hours, an impressive
145 genes showed alter activity. So your brain
can also have more to do with weight loss than
you think. Your brain actually talks to your
fat cells that could be the secret to lasting
weight loss. The way the cells responded depended
on frequency, intensity, and pattern of the sound
wave. The response also variated based on the
type of cell. The most significant finding of
the study was that the sound waves stopped differentiation
between the cells. And I think what that means
is the cells were more uniform, so they didn't
have adding on fat or whatever. When exposed
to the sound vibrations, the research found that
many cells didn't mature into fat cells. That's
right, that's what it did. Didn't mature into
fat cells as expected. There is more, but I'm
not going to go into it. The gist of this thing
is They believe that sound can train your cells
into not generating fat, and who knows what else.
They're talking about health care with it. I
know some of that is losing weight, but not all
of it. So this is going to be an interesting
study to keep up on, and I'm going to keep up
on it. And if there's anything new coming in,
I'll let you know. Rob, you got something? Yeah,
I do. All righty. In March of this year, Tanya
Dubs of Pocahontas, Virginia, was about to witness
one herself a little bit. She knew that her mama
dog, Namine, would end up making headlines of
the U .S. most popular news. Mm -hmm. Her two
-year -old Great Dane ended up giving birth to
an unbelievable 21 puppies over the course of
27 hours. Okay. Think about that, dude. Yeah,
I am. 21 Great Dane puppies. Wow. Yeah. Okay.
I had a great day growing up. I know. Oh, my
God. Tanya and her family were quite shocked
when they realized the mine's litter was exceeding
all the expectations. But one of the tallest
dog breeds in the world, Tanya naturally expected
a larger litter around 13, 14 pups maximum. Even
when they got up to number 16, she and her family
didn't believe that the total number would exceed
two dozen. labor, it happened. Almost all of
them weighed over a pound when they were first
born, except two that were slightly under one.
And another one, one 94 ounces, and another one
98 ounces. Wow. As there's now a slight logistical
problem with mama's milk, Tonya makes sure all
puppies are fed properly. And if some of them
don't get enough food the natural way, she supplies
them with a bottle. That's what everybody would.
Yeah. But yeah, that's cool, dude. I agree. And
then mine is a beautiful dog. She's a brindle.
Great Dane? Uh -huh. She's beautiful. That's
cool. 21 puppies. That poor girl. Oh, jeez. Yeah,
a 21. Oh. Great Dane puppies. That's that. Oh.
Great Danes are awesome. The biggest problem
with them is they don't live long enough. It
sucks. Exactly. Yeah, we lost ours. He was like
11. That's a long life. He started getting hip
dysplasia. Yeah, that happens with him a lot.
And he was going blind, you know. That's actually
old for a Great Dane. A lot of Great Danes pass
7, 8, 9 years old. It sucks. That's why I won't
own one. I love the dogs. They're beautiful animals.
They're sweet as hell. And they're great dogs.
They're great family dogs. I agree. You will
never have a dog that will lay with your children
and protect them more than a Great Dane. Labradors
are too. Labradors are great too. But, yeah.
So the only reason I wouldn't own one is because
I don't want to deal with it after seven, eight
years. I don't want them dying. You know, sucks.
You got another couple of minutes or you want
to shut this thing down, Rob? I'll leave it up
to you. No, we got one. Okay. A flight attendant,
you know that flight attendants judge you by
what you drink on a flight? Yes. They say that
people that drink Coke are normally well -adjusted
people. Coke or Pepsi, you know, something like
that. Dr. Pepper is also included in this, a
dark or cola type of drink. They said that they
are usually the normal ones. They say people
that order ginger ale are kind of odd. And they
say that people that order coffee are sketchy
as hell. And people that are decaffeinated cannot
be trusted. And this is like a little thing that
they do, flight attendants, judging people. I
guess they see people come in, and they're going
to guess what they order. And I thought this
was just a neat little article. But I did notice
something, Rob. You know the only time I like
ginger ale is on a flight? I don't like it down
here. I like it up in the air for some reason.
I don't like Coke up there. I don't like Pepsi
up there. I don't like... Orange juice, cranberry
juice. I like ginger ale up there, and I can't
describe it. So, I thought that was worth mentioning.
It's just worthless bullshit that I come across.
So, Rob, we turn it to you. Okay. What a poetic
twist of fate. South Carolina has introduced
a firing squad this year. Cool. Okay. When you're
on death row in South Carolina, you can choose
between death by lethal injection, electric chair,
or three prison guards shooting you in the heart.
This reporter blogged about it. a different Carolina's
firing squad execution back in March. When he
decided a firing squad, he decided a long history
of box lethal injections on electric chairs that
resulted in a slow, painful death. Okay. Luckily
for that guy, the firing squad shot him right
in the heart. Okay, that was the first guy that
died by shoot. By gunshot or a firing squad.
Firing squad, yeah. Okay. But the next guy, Mikel
Mane, who was on death row for a triple murder
involving a cop who he shot eight times and then
sat on fire, wasn't so lucky. Good. Good. Can
you say it, Carmen? Yes. Yes. Today didn't offer
an explanation for why he opted for firing squad,
but I have to imagine it was a similar reason.
If that's the case, tough break for my guy. Better
luck next time. Oh, I hope he's... That's what
this blogger said. I really don't get why our
country has to complicate the death penalty so
much. I agree. If you're going to use it, just
make it simple. But anyway, what happened? Yeah,
this story goes on and on. What ended up happening
is the three guys, the guys in the firing squad,
Missy. At first. I had three bullets. Only two
bullets. There was only two bullet wounds. And
one of them fired a bullet into the wall. Yeah,
you're supposed to be... But... Yeah, like I
said, it's a long story, and there is a part
of the story talking about being one of the guys
doing the shooting. That's why they put more
than one. That way nobody knows who fires a lethal
shot. But still. Well, here's what I kind of
like, and I'm kind of like this too. People that
do something like murder somebody, shoot them
eight times and burn their body. I think I would
be okay with them suffering for a few minutes
before they were killed. I think something like
that. I mean like getting wounded and sitting
there bleeding, but not dead yet, is what I mean.
He suffered for 30 to 60 seconds of excruciating
conscious pain and suffering. Okay, okay. I mean,
I'd like it a little bit more than that, but
okay. Yeah, and there was another reference to
the movie Green Mile. The box Percy death? Uh
-huh. There's a reference to that. Okay. Yeah,
I mean, well, you get what you ask for. That's
all I got to say. You get what you ask for. Yeah,
I mean, you told the universe that you were a
sadistic, piece of shit with absolutely no emotion
at all. Um, that, that is, uh, just, I mean,
just a vile, vile, vile piece of garbage on this
earth. And I think that the universe listened
and said, you know what? Not only are you going
to die, but you're going to do it very painfully
for as long as we can. And I'm okay with that.
I think that's fine. You want to pick three guys
you don't know to shoot you? I'd rather pick
some of my buddies that I know that could do
the job, you know, personally. I don't think
I'd get that option. I mean, what were the other
ones? Was it like gas chamber and... Yeah, it
was gas chamber and lethal injection. Okay. Or
a firing squad. And he chose firing squad. He
probably chose it because he probably heard that
that was the quickest way to die. But it didn't
happen. That's what the first guy in that state
did. Okay, so, you know... And he said it, but
this guy didn't say why. But still, this guy...
This guy wanted mercy, but offered no mercy to
that person that he killed and set on fire. Exactly,
exactly. So, to me, that's the way the ball bounces,
asshole. Enjoy hell. you want to cut this shit
show down Rob yeah I'm about ready for tonight
brother alrighty thank you all for listening
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too that's for sure thank you goodnight assholes
Thank you and good night assholes. Oh no, looks
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