WEBVTT

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Hey, you fucking derelicts. It's time for the

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Daily Douchebag Pledge. I, Joe or Jane Listener,

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hereby promise to download the show. I, Joe or

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Jane Listener. Hereby promise to grab other people's

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phones, unattended computers, public computers,

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and all of my work computers as well, and download

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the show from there. I, Joe or Jane Listener,

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hereby promise to make other people listen. I,

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Joe or Jane Listener. will hereby lie to everyone

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about how quality the show is. I, Joe or Jane

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Listener, promise to make all my family members

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listen and recite the daily douchebag pledge.

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And finally, I, Joe or Jane Listener, hereby

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promise to make the trek to Knobloch, Missouri,

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just to have a selfie with the Knobloch sign.

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Here at Two Douchebags and a Microphone, we don't

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stand behind our journalistic integrity. Go ahead

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and assume we got the story wrong. At least we

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admit it. Not like all those other guys. We can

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and will lie if it makes the story better. Two

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douchebags and a microphone. Invisible ass paddlings,

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new douche flavors, and horrible pranks? The

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fuck is wrong with these guys? Introducing Rob

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Rad's new book, How to Track Your Enemy by Scent.

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That's right, smell your enemy before they get

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you. Order this gem now and get a free virtual

00:02:01.209 --> 00:02:03.769
tour of Rob's secret bunker in Camderton, Missouri.

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Also receive a free copy of his new book, How

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to Clean Raw Sewage for Food. So you want proof

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that we love you here at QD Spades and Microfilm

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Central? Here's a proof right here. How about

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the drink of the week? Hey, all you drunk belly

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dancers. This one's for you. This is a Butch

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Wacker. This is from Norwegian Cruise Line's

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Best Drinks. This is a chocolatey, delicious

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drink. Thick. You can make yourself. It starts

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out one ounce of rum, one half ounce of Chocono,

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chocolate -flavored liqueur, one half ounce of

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vodka, one half ounce of Bailey's Irish Creek,

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one half ounce of Kahula, and one half ounce

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of Amaretto. Shake all together. Put in a glass.

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And there you are. Delightful, chocolatey goodness.

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Enjoy. Two douchebags, a microphone, and an effort

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to keep everything fresh. We offer you first

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world problems. The ATM wants me to make a new

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PIN number for security purposes. I don't have

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an extra two minutes. I need my Starbucks. I'm

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having the worst day ever. Yes, it's true. Mark

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is an old bastard. It's also true that Mark uses

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a lot of ibuprofen. But Mark would like to tell

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you, if you see any pictures of improved ibuprofen,

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it's obviously fake, and you're to take the pictures

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and tear them up immediately. As much fun as

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an electric can opener to the scrotum, two douchebags

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and a microphone. Two douchebags and a microphone.

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I'm Mark in the Kansas City arm of this here

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program. And I am Rob at the beautiful Niagara

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Arm of Lake of the Ozarks. And trust me, it's

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beautiful this time of year. Oh, it is. It is.

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All the leaves are in full bloom. Oh, my God.

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Beautiful weekend, though. It was, wasn't it?

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Yeah. Middle of May. Yep, that's when it starts

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heating up. What, two weeks or three weeks away?

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Yeah, Memorial Day is when you figure out that

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the squirrels chewed up all your wires while

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you were gone. And Labor Day is the day you have

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to mow the lawn and shut everything down. You

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would get down before Memorial Day to find that

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out, before everybody, all your family gets there.

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I knew people that did that, and then I also

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knew people that went down there and was like,

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oh, shit, and figured it. Because by that time,

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everyone hired all the contractors in that area

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to come fix their shit. So you're on a waiting

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list. I'm telling you, the wildlife down here

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is vicious. Yeah, they are. Even the poor ladies.

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Yes. Oh, and also, let's see, there's been Chupacabra

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sightings down there. Do you know that? Have

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you seen that? No, I have not seen that. It's

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on one of the Ozark webpages. I'll look into

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it. There's like a photo sketch. I think that

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was around Lori. Yes, yes. Yeah, yeah, they have

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a picture, and it's a night picture, of course.

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But, I mean, it looks like something, I don't

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know what the hell it is, I can tell you that.

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Yeah, I read it a while back, and look at, like

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you said, look at the picture. I'm not so convinced.

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No, me neither. I mean, it could have been a

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lot of things. I think it may have been a rabbit

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dog, you know. That's kind of what I thought,

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too, or a coyote. Some dog. Yeah, because dogs

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can look pretty gnarly when they're not well

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kept at home. And also, it could have been a

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coyote. All that stuff. And mange will turn a

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dog's fur blue and different colors like that,

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too. So, I mean, you know what? But I'm all about

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the Chubacabra. I hope it's the Chubacabra. And

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I hope they catch it and they prove to everyone

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it exists. Right? Yeah, all right. Then we could

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have one at every zoo, right? Hey, while we're

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speaking around that location, I have an announcement.

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Okay. The Sealand Embassy will no longer be in

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Ashland, Missouri. Okay. The Sealand Embassy

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is moving to Sunrise Beach. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

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Yes. The Duke. The Duke is moving to Sunrise

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Beach right up the road. Okay, and let me describe

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this. I'm going to go next week to his new place.

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Let me describe this to everybody. A lot of people,

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you know, just pick up the program by chance

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and don't know its history. Okay, I had this

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story about Sealand. It's this little, basically

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like a platform off the coast of England, is

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it? Or somewhere like that. Okay. Somewhere,

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yeah. Well, Rob's brother, the Duke, applied

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to be a Duke for Sealand, and he's an official

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Duke. And I think Rob's getting ready to do it,

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too. Yeah, I am. Yeah. Rob Rad is about to become

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an official Duke of Sealand. Yeah, yeah. He's

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got to get the paperwork done. And we can't thank

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Rob's brother, the Duke, enough for that. And

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it's only $450. Yeah, yeah. So you want to be

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a Duke of this country. Call yourself a Duke.

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And you officially are. You officially are. It

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is its own sovereign nation. Yes, yes. And you

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are a Duke. You are official. Yeah. You need

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to request like something like a meeting with

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Congress or something for, I don't know, foreign

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aid or some shit. Say, hey, look, we need a couple

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of plants on our platform. You know, it looks

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kind of bad. You think like maybe the United

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States could front us like three or four ferns?

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You think I go over? Maybe? Oh, if they have

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room. All right. A couple of, you know, that's

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true. I wouldn't ask for margaritas just yet.

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I would ask for, I don't know, four or five ferns

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and then go from there. So, all right. It's like

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one yard. Oh, it is, isn't it? Okay, well. Yeah,

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it's only population one. It's supposed to be

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population two, but there ain't enough room for

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the brothers to live there. Yeah, that's right.

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How about a bonsai plant? It would probably survive.

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There we go. With the tropical weather, yeah,

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that might work. Oh, and also, two douchebags

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and a microphone, we are the official podcast

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of Sealand. Yes, the Duke has made that. Yes,

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so if the Duke says so, that's what it is. So

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we are the official podcast. If not, once I become

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a dude, I'll make sure of it. Oh, and also we

00:10:02.350 --> 00:10:06.110
are one step closer to becoming the sponsor of

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National Crappy Podcast Day, which I applied

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for. Right on. They sent me a return mail. And

00:10:14.830 --> 00:10:18.210
they are looking it over right now. So in case

00:10:18.210 --> 00:10:20.269
anyone didn't know, here's what happens. If you

00:10:20.269 --> 00:10:22.210
want a national day, every day is like, you know,

00:10:22.210 --> 00:10:25.250
national pancake day, national toenail fungus

00:10:25.250 --> 00:10:27.649
day. I don't know, national pick your nose day.

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All this bullshit, okay? So I found out that

00:10:31.330 --> 00:10:35.129
what you do is you apply for it online. And I

00:10:35.129 --> 00:10:38.309
don't even know who the hell they are. So you

00:10:38.309 --> 00:10:41.870
apply for it online. And I said, hey, you know,

00:10:41.950 --> 00:10:43.950
two douchebags, a microphone we'd like to sponsor.

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National Crappy Podcast Day, and they asked,

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okay, what is the purpose? The purpose is for

00:10:50.929 --> 00:10:53.850
crappy podcasts to be listened to on that day.

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You don't go to Joe Rogan or something like that,

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or Dr. Drew, or none of that. None of that. You

00:10:59.629 --> 00:11:02.169
go to something like this. People like us. Yeah.

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Yeah, the crappy podcasts. That's what the whole

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day is about. So they finally sent me a return

00:11:08.789 --> 00:11:10.850
email saying, hey, we're checking it out, because

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at first I thought they ignored us. Like, oh,

00:11:12.970 --> 00:11:16.240
they're joking. This isn't a joke. We want National

00:11:16.240 --> 00:11:21.179
Crappy Podcast Day. Read our name. Yeah. Now

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we're serious. Yeah. Two douchebags and microphone.

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How much crappier does it get than that? I don't

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know. Now we're serious. Who better to back that?

00:11:29.039 --> 00:11:33.019
Yeah. Yeah. And not only that, but I want to

00:11:33.019 --> 00:11:37.879
hear the news whenever they report it. Two douchebags

00:11:37.879 --> 00:11:40.779
and microphone. Sponsor National Crappy Podcast

00:11:40.779 --> 00:11:45.929
Day. Or I wonder if they do something like D

00:11:45.929 --> 00:11:49.850
-Bags. Two D -Bags and a microphone sponsored.

00:11:50.870 --> 00:11:54.149
Yeah, you know what? Yeah, they would probably

00:11:54.149 --> 00:11:58.090
have fake D -Bags. Yeah, yeah. To keep it cool,

00:11:58.210 --> 00:12:01.269
yeah. Yeah, you're right. That's cool. Everybody

00:12:01.269 --> 00:12:04.450
knows. Yeah, people will know. Yep, we are working

00:12:04.450 --> 00:12:06.889
on that. We want National Crappy Podcast Day,

00:12:07.029 --> 00:12:10.110
and not only for us, but all the other podcasters

00:12:10.110 --> 00:12:14.299
that are crappy out there. We deserve recognition.

00:12:14.779 --> 00:12:18.000
We deserve recognition. All right, I'm going

00:12:18.000 --> 00:12:19.940
to finish up some of the crew stuff here, and

00:12:19.940 --> 00:12:21.820
there's a little bit of it, so hang with me,

00:12:21.860 --> 00:12:24.320
please. And like always, like I said earlier,

00:12:24.480 --> 00:12:26.720
Rob, interject. You got a question, throw it

00:12:26.720 --> 00:12:29.000
in there. You want to make fun of me? Go right

00:12:29.000 --> 00:12:32.519
on ahead. All right. I think I'm going to let

00:12:32.519 --> 00:12:34.940
you make fun of yourself, like always. Okay,

00:12:35.039 --> 00:12:37.940
that's cool. And that's where I got some of the

00:12:37.940 --> 00:12:39.539
people that I grew up with when they gave me

00:12:39.539 --> 00:12:41.700
shit. Hey, you're making fun of us. I'm like,

00:12:41.799 --> 00:12:44.919
yeah. And I also make fun of myself. Listen to

00:12:44.919 --> 00:12:49.000
it. Okay. Yeah. That's what this podcast does.

00:12:49.200 --> 00:12:52.460
It's parody. It's humor. So, all right. I just

00:12:52.460 --> 00:12:54.740
boarded the cruise and around three miles out,

00:12:54.799 --> 00:12:56.679
I had to switch my phone to the internet number

00:12:56.679 --> 00:12:59.759
because there's no more phone service three miles

00:12:59.759 --> 00:13:03.460
out. The first thing that happens is I actually

00:13:03.460 --> 00:13:08.340
get a scam call, Rob. You okay? Oh, shit. What

00:13:08.340 --> 00:13:10.899
was that? I'm fine. Oh, okay. Out of my door.

00:13:11.370 --> 00:13:14.850
Oh, okay. Yeah. I thought that was a wheeze.

00:13:14.850 --> 00:13:16.950
I walked out of the studio for a second. Oh,

00:13:16.950 --> 00:13:20.230
okay. The door squeaked. Oh, keep squeaking it.

00:13:20.269 --> 00:13:22.669
I don't care. I just thought it was you. Okay.

00:13:23.289 --> 00:13:25.889
The first thing that happens is I actually get

00:13:25.889 --> 00:13:29.470
a scam call. A guy using a robot voice calls

00:13:29.470 --> 00:13:32.230
to tell me I won the publisher's clearinghouse,

00:13:32.389 --> 00:13:39.830
Rob. No joke. First off. I didn't even know.

00:13:39.970 --> 00:13:44.830
Have you been playing the game? No. No. When

00:13:44.830 --> 00:13:47.070
I got this internet number, I guess they figured

00:13:47.070 --> 00:13:50.309
it was a new number or something. Because my

00:13:50.309 --> 00:13:52.789
old number I lost, I don't have the number to

00:13:52.789 --> 00:13:56.529
it. I'd have to go way back to one of the podcasts

00:13:56.529 --> 00:13:59.070
where we announced that internet number. And

00:13:59.070 --> 00:14:03.330
I don't know which one it is. So he uses this

00:14:03.330 --> 00:14:06.769
robo voice. Sounds like a robot. Hello. Greetings.

00:14:06.830 --> 00:14:10.779
Good day. I am calling you to tell you that you

00:14:10.779 --> 00:14:14.720
won the publisher's clarion house. So the first

00:14:14.720 --> 00:14:16.960
thing I do is I ask him, I go, dude, what stage

00:14:16.960 --> 00:14:20.720
of throat cancer are you on? Are you okay? He

00:14:20.720 --> 00:14:23.620
doesn't say anything. He doesn't respond one

00:14:23.620 --> 00:14:26.940
bit. So he went on to tell me all about my winnings.

00:14:27.360 --> 00:14:29.980
So I started telling him about when I sent in

00:14:29.980 --> 00:14:33.019
the contest letter, which I didn't. I said I

00:14:33.019 --> 00:14:35.559
used my lucky llama spit in a jar to seal the

00:14:35.559 --> 00:14:40.159
envelope. Nothing. I just knew it was going to

00:14:40.159 --> 00:14:42.639
be a winner is what I exclaimed. He once again

00:14:42.639 --> 00:14:45.220
ignores what I just told him. So I told him I

00:14:45.220 --> 00:14:48.820
had a jar of lucky llama spit. Okay. And I use

00:14:48.820 --> 00:14:52.259
it to seal the envelope for luck. And that's

00:14:52.259 --> 00:14:54.899
why I won. And he absorbs all this, Rob. No questions.

00:14:55.379 --> 00:14:58.000
Okay. Like, okay. All right. No. Llama spit.

00:14:58.100 --> 00:15:00.659
Whatever. So I start on him again. But this time

00:15:00.659 --> 00:15:03.879
I pretend to answer the door, Rob. And now keep

00:15:03.879 --> 00:15:09.320
in mind. I'm in the middle of the boarding of

00:15:09.320 --> 00:15:12.179
the lobby of the ship because Val and I just

00:15:12.179 --> 00:15:13.879
started ordering drinks and we never made it

00:15:13.879 --> 00:15:17.820
all the way up, right? So, yeah, we're down there

00:15:17.820 --> 00:15:22.259
in the lobby. It's packed. People are everywhere.

00:15:22.480 --> 00:15:24.460
And there's people all around me like listening

00:15:24.460 --> 00:15:26.899
to this weird conversation I'm having with Robo

00:15:26.899 --> 00:15:30.960
Guy, right? Anyhow, I pretend to answer the door.

00:15:31.059 --> 00:15:33.679
I tell the idiot that the publisher's crew was

00:15:33.679 --> 00:15:35.480
already at my house. And they said there's no

00:15:35.480 --> 00:15:39.100
need for him any longer. And I start celebrating.

00:15:39.200 --> 00:15:41.379
Woo, woo, I won. Hell yeah, you know. And he

00:15:41.379 --> 00:15:44.539
keeps on yapping. I tell him, I go, dude, they're

00:15:44.539 --> 00:15:50.059
here. But thanks, I have to go. So I hang up.

00:15:50.360 --> 00:15:53.679
Okay. And then he calls me back. He goes, why

00:15:53.679 --> 00:15:56.279
did you hang up on me? And I go, look. I go,

00:15:56.360 --> 00:16:00.279
they're here. I don't need you anymore. You know,

00:16:00.279 --> 00:16:03.220
it's, you know, I said, I won. They're here.

00:16:03.559 --> 00:16:06.100
So thank you for letting me know. So now I'm

00:16:06.100 --> 00:16:08.539
going to talk to them and get my check. And he

00:16:08.539 --> 00:16:11.879
wouldn't, he, he, he just kept blabbing on and

00:16:11.879 --> 00:16:14.259
I just had to keep going. Woo woo. And then finally

00:16:14.259 --> 00:16:18.240
he hung up. I did not. I don't know. Yeah. I

00:16:18.240 --> 00:16:21.440
mean, it took a long time, but I don't know if

00:16:21.440 --> 00:16:23.419
he couldn't hear me very well because his internet

00:16:23.419 --> 00:16:28.040
number or what, but I thought like, okay. But

00:16:28.040 --> 00:16:30.139
all this stuff, you know, I knew it was going

00:16:30.139 --> 00:16:32.820
to win. I used my jar of llama spit, my lucky

00:16:32.820 --> 00:16:36.440
jar of llama spit. You know, all this stuff that

00:16:36.440 --> 00:16:38.179
I told him, okay? And I knew it was going to

00:16:38.179 --> 00:16:42.559
win. And he still just kept yakking. And I don't

00:16:42.559 --> 00:16:45.139
know. You know, maybe it was a robot. You know,

00:16:45.139 --> 00:16:47.159
maybe they have these robots, you know, trained

00:16:47.159 --> 00:16:52.460
to do these internet calls or something. But

00:16:52.460 --> 00:16:54.879
anyhow, it did get mad at me for, you know, I

00:16:54.879 --> 00:17:00.740
don't know. Anyhow, I started screaming. It was

00:17:00.740 --> 00:17:02.940
a good time. I started screaming, I'm going to

00:17:02.940 --> 00:17:06.460
Bora Bora in Kashmir. And then finally, finally

00:17:06.460 --> 00:17:10.000
he hangs up. So I'm rolling with laughter. I

00:17:10.000 --> 00:17:12.319
turn the tables on the idiot and it completely

00:17:12.319 --> 00:17:15.279
worked. Meanwhile, you know, we're at the main

00:17:15.279 --> 00:17:18.640
lobby bar, like I said. And there's some really

00:17:18.640 --> 00:17:21.420
very pleasant people we're talking to. But by

00:17:21.420 --> 00:17:24.710
the time I was done with that conversation. They

00:17:24.710 --> 00:17:26.569
kind of excused themselves pretty soon after

00:17:26.569 --> 00:17:32.109
that. It had to sound pretty bizarre. I mean,

00:17:32.130 --> 00:17:36.170
really. So, anyhow. Alright, I had a couple other

00:17:36.170 --> 00:17:38.450
pranks too, Rob. Can you believe that? Besides

00:17:38.450 --> 00:17:42.750
the publisher's clearinghouse one? Can you believe

00:17:42.750 --> 00:17:45.490
that? Yeah? Okay. Not very many people prank

00:17:45.490 --> 00:17:47.309
you because they know you're going to get the

00:17:47.309 --> 00:17:51.480
better of them. True. All right. Well, the first

00:17:51.480 --> 00:17:53.559
prank I did was simple, and I got my ass yelled

00:17:53.559 --> 00:17:56.759
at, so I never did it again. Okay, on most cruise

00:17:56.759 --> 00:17:59.339
ships, they now have a feature designed to save

00:17:59.339 --> 00:18:02.019
energy and money on the ship. When you walk into

00:18:02.019 --> 00:18:05.599
your cabin on the wall, on the left on the door,

00:18:05.759 --> 00:18:07.500
the left of the door when you open up the door,

00:18:07.619 --> 00:18:10.279
there's a slot. You have to put that card in

00:18:10.279 --> 00:18:12.279
the slot, and this is your key card, your room

00:18:12.279 --> 00:18:15.339
card, okay, to get power. If you don't put your

00:18:15.339 --> 00:18:18.140
room card in there, then you don't get power.

00:18:18.259 --> 00:18:20.220
And you need that room card to go purchase stuff

00:18:20.220 --> 00:18:22.460
and all that because the whole boat's cashless.

00:18:22.599 --> 00:18:24.519
It's the room card they give you at the first

00:18:24.519 --> 00:18:26.259
and everything's charged on there through the

00:18:26.259 --> 00:18:30.819
account that you make. Okay? So... Like a hotel

00:18:30.819 --> 00:18:35.140
key card. Yes. Yeah. So, if you don't put that

00:18:35.140 --> 00:18:38.059
hotel key card thing into the slot in the wall...

00:18:38.059 --> 00:18:41.750
You don't get electric. Yeah, yeah. So I was

00:18:41.750 --> 00:18:43.690
going to go get us coffees, me and Val, in the

00:18:43.690 --> 00:18:46.970
morning at the coffee house down on 5, and we're

00:18:46.970 --> 00:18:50.089
on 14, so it's a little bit of a chore. And I

00:18:50.089 --> 00:18:53.930
needed her room card to order her one, but then

00:18:53.930 --> 00:18:55.890
I remembered, like I did last time, you know,

00:18:55.890 --> 00:18:59.309
I left her card in there for, so she'd keep getting

00:18:59.309 --> 00:19:02.589
electricity. I go down there, I go, hey, me and

00:19:02.589 --> 00:19:07.680
Val's, you know, our... you know, accountants

00:19:07.680 --> 00:19:10.059
together. So just go ahead and they'll look up

00:19:10.059 --> 00:19:11.559
her numbers right there with mine, you know,

00:19:11.579 --> 00:19:14.579
when I give them my key card. So anyhow, I didn't

00:19:14.579 --> 00:19:16.059
need it. I was like, hey, you know, they always

00:19:16.059 --> 00:19:18.799
find your card. Well, guess what I did? I took

00:19:18.799 --> 00:19:25.160
her card anyhow. So she's in there watching TV

00:19:25.160 --> 00:19:34.559
or the lights on. Yes. So, yeah, yeah, I just.

00:19:36.089 --> 00:19:41.190
Oh, about 25 minutes. Yeah, she was pissed. Like

00:19:41.190 --> 00:19:45.930
I said, it happened once, never again. Once,

00:19:46.150 --> 00:19:48.789
and it will never happen again, will it, Mark?

00:19:48.809 --> 00:19:52.230
It will never happen again, no. But it was funny

00:19:52.230 --> 00:19:56.470
to do it once. Oh, hell yeah. I'll give you that

00:19:56.470 --> 00:20:00.210
one. Here I am going, hey, man, I can have them

00:20:00.210 --> 00:20:01.710
look up your number. I don't have to take your

00:20:01.710 --> 00:20:04.359
card. Then on the way out, I'm like, yeah, fuck

00:20:04.359 --> 00:20:11.920
it. I'm going to take her card. So, um, we booked

00:20:11.920 --> 00:20:15.240
the sunset cruise in Aruba and it's not till

00:20:15.240 --> 00:20:19.319
4 30 PM. So it's around 10 AM, something like

00:20:19.319 --> 00:20:21.940
that. The boat been docked since like 8 AM. And

00:20:21.940 --> 00:20:24.200
you know, like, um, like I went into the last

00:20:24.200 --> 00:20:26.480
show, I was sick and I could hardly move. Right.

00:20:26.559 --> 00:20:31.240
Because of my own doing. Um, We decide to try

00:20:31.240 --> 00:20:33.420
to leave the ship after all. You know, Aruba

00:20:33.420 --> 00:20:35.779
is one of our favorite stops ever. So Val helps

00:20:35.779 --> 00:20:38.079
me a ton, and, you know, I repay her with that

00:20:38.079 --> 00:20:42.380
rotten trick. Okay. I gingerly start my walk

00:20:42.380 --> 00:20:46.049
out of the gangway. We decided to get a taxi

00:20:46.049 --> 00:20:47.910
and we go to this place called Eagle's Beach,

00:20:48.190 --> 00:20:52.250
which it has deep turquoise waters. And it's

00:20:52.250 --> 00:20:55.509
really great for snorkeling, diving and swimming.

00:20:55.789 --> 00:20:58.990
And the ocean there is just amazing. I mean,

00:20:59.009 --> 00:21:03.009
if you don't know, take a look and take a look

00:21:03.009 --> 00:21:04.910
at like Eagle's Beach and the water and stuff.

00:21:04.910 --> 00:21:07.930
It's easy to find online or Aruba in general.

00:21:07.990 --> 00:21:10.569
I mean, it's just such a beautiful place. And

00:21:10.569 --> 00:21:13.750
get this. I didn't have to snorkel to see all

00:21:13.750 --> 00:21:16.329
this fish. That's how clear the water is there.

00:21:17.710 --> 00:21:21.410
Yeah, it's insane. I mean, I've seen like probably

00:21:21.410 --> 00:21:24.430
30 different species of fish without any snorkel

00:21:24.430 --> 00:21:26.849
on at all. Just like just, you know, standing

00:21:26.849 --> 00:21:30.769
in the ocean and looking down. And then we went

00:21:30.769 --> 00:21:32.329
on the sunset cruise a little bit later, but

00:21:32.329 --> 00:21:34.109
I'm feeling better by this time, so it's like

00:21:34.109 --> 00:21:37.269
no big deal. They had a full open bar, but I

00:21:37.269 --> 00:21:39.690
was really careful with this one, Rob. I only

00:21:39.690 --> 00:21:43.470
had beer. They had mojitos and some other stuff,

00:21:43.630 --> 00:21:45.789
some whiskey. I'm like, no, no, no, I'll just

00:21:45.789 --> 00:21:48.109
stick to beer tonight, and that's it. And it

00:21:48.109 --> 00:21:50.410
worked. They had some appetizers and stuff like

00:21:50.410 --> 00:21:54.950
that, but, you know, anyhow. Honestly, I've been

00:21:54.950 --> 00:21:59.250
a good boy lately myself. Oh, good. Good. You

00:21:59.250 --> 00:22:02.089
know what? After this, if you want to go into

00:22:02.089 --> 00:22:04.250
it, after this, if you want to talk about it,

00:22:04.269 --> 00:22:11.420
that'd be cool. Okay. Okay. Okay, so if you feel

00:22:11.420 --> 00:22:15.759
like it. We could go into that and end the story.

00:22:15.880 --> 00:22:19.220
Whatever. Go ahead. Okay. All right. Well, I

00:22:19.220 --> 00:22:21.099
want to finish this out because, like I said,

00:22:21.200 --> 00:22:23.039
I want to get all the crew stuff out of the way,

00:22:23.079 --> 00:22:25.900
and then we're going to go on to other stuff

00:22:25.900 --> 00:22:28.180
because, I mean, it's becoming old news now,

00:22:28.299 --> 00:22:30.299
and there's some stuff that I want to talk about

00:22:30.299 --> 00:22:35.140
real quick. All the appetizers they served was

00:22:35.140 --> 00:22:38.119
fantastic. They had pesto and mozzarella and

00:22:38.119 --> 00:22:40.880
all this stuff, right? Well, the finale was,

00:22:41.059 --> 00:22:45.079
it was like an empanada, a chicken empanada,

00:22:45.099 --> 00:22:49.759
and then some sort of mystery meat roll. Nobody

00:22:49.759 --> 00:22:52.500
could figure out what it was, but it was really

00:22:52.500 --> 00:22:56.000
good. So it kind of reminded me of something

00:22:56.000 --> 00:22:58.940
that me and my friend Steve did a long time ago.

00:23:01.409 --> 00:23:04.569
because the Mystery Meat reminded me of it. So

00:23:04.569 --> 00:23:10.730
Steve and I, we went to this Latin club on Southwest

00:23:10.730 --> 00:23:13.630
Boulevard called the Oasis. Were you around when

00:23:13.630 --> 00:23:18.190
that? Yeah. Okay. No, I know the story you mentioned.

00:23:18.670 --> 00:23:22.269
Oh. Yeah, I know the story you're going to tell.

00:23:22.289 --> 00:23:24.450
Go ahead. Okay, I didn't realize I told it already,

00:23:24.589 --> 00:23:28.170
but okay. Yeah, go ahead. Okay, speaking of Mystery

00:23:28.170 --> 00:23:31.309
Meat, like I said. So Steve and I go, we go to

00:23:31.309 --> 00:23:33.569
the Oasis and we, you know, we drink quite a

00:23:33.569 --> 00:23:36.569
bit. Steve thought I was going to drive and I

00:23:36.569 --> 00:23:40.410
thought he was going to drive. So, and the, the,

00:23:40.529 --> 00:23:44.210
the show that Steve is on, we didn't have the

00:23:44.210 --> 00:23:46.210
Bluetooth to the city market, but he went into

00:23:46.210 --> 00:23:49.789
this a little bit better about this story. So,

00:23:49.890 --> 00:23:53.630
and he's one that reminded me of it. So anyhow,

00:23:53.849 --> 00:23:56.700
we're. And we go in this part, you know, the

00:23:56.700 --> 00:23:59.420
Oasis is a nightclub. It's a Latin nightclub.

00:23:59.880 --> 00:24:03.579
And we're having a great time. And Steve throws

00:24:03.579 --> 00:24:05.579
me the keys when we get outside. I'm like, dude,

00:24:05.660 --> 00:24:07.160
I go, why are you throwing me the keys? He goes,

00:24:07.180 --> 00:24:10.539
you stayed sober. I go, no, I didn't. I thought

00:24:10.539 --> 00:24:13.859
it was your turn. No, no, no, it's your turn.

00:24:13.940 --> 00:24:15.599
We couldn't figure out whose turn it was. But

00:24:15.599 --> 00:24:18.400
the bottom line is we're both trashed and nobody's

00:24:18.400 --> 00:24:21.680
wanting, you know, to drive, especially Southwest

00:24:21.680 --> 00:24:24.630
Boulevard at that time of night. They see you

00:24:24.630 --> 00:24:27.289
leaving a bar and they're all over you. So, you

00:24:27.289 --> 00:24:30.210
know, we're like, hmm. So the first thing we

00:24:30.210 --> 00:24:33.809
did was there's this guy selling burritos out

00:24:33.809 --> 00:24:37.549
of a cooler at the corner there. And Steve's

00:24:37.549 --> 00:24:41.490
truck is around the corner. So we go to the guy's.

00:24:41.490 --> 00:24:45.470
Sorry, you got to laugh. Hey, I laugh now. And

00:24:45.470 --> 00:24:49.869
actually afterwards. I know the area. Yeah, okay.

00:24:50.210 --> 00:24:52.509
So Steve's truck's around the corner, and here's

00:24:52.509 --> 00:24:54.849
this guy with burritos and this really, really

00:24:54.849 --> 00:24:58.509
fucking mean hot sauce. I mean, this stuff is

00:24:58.509 --> 00:25:02.710
like the pit of hell hot sauce. So we figured,

00:25:02.809 --> 00:25:05.470
let's have a couple of these burritos with that

00:25:05.470 --> 00:25:08.369
hot sauce, and this will sober us up. And it

00:25:08.369 --> 00:25:13.210
did. We had a couple of burritos, and Steve and

00:25:13.210 --> 00:25:15.529
I get done eating, and we're walking to the truck,

00:25:15.589 --> 00:25:19.170
and I go, what kind of meat was that? I don't

00:25:19.170 --> 00:25:22.609
know. I don't know. I don't recall having it

00:25:22.609 --> 00:25:25.230
that is kind of porous and kind of, I don't know.

00:25:25.589 --> 00:25:28.529
It was nothing. It wasn't pork. It wasn't chicken.

00:25:28.589 --> 00:25:30.750
It wasn't beef. Him and I start looking at each

00:25:30.750 --> 00:25:33.609
other. You're concerned about the sauce. Yes.

00:25:34.150 --> 00:25:37.650
And I go, did you see that BB gun sitting in

00:25:37.650 --> 00:25:41.589
the alley? Yeah. And him and I looked at each

00:25:41.589 --> 00:25:46.589
other. Oh, no. It was either pigeon or cat burritos.

00:25:47.400 --> 00:25:56.259
We don't know which one. No, it's funny now.

00:25:56.339 --> 00:26:00.220
At the time, I'm like, fuck. This is the story

00:26:00.220 --> 00:26:06.079
I thought it was. Yep, yep. So, crazy shit. Hang

00:26:06.079 --> 00:26:08.000
on, I've got to turn down the recording volume

00:26:08.000 --> 00:26:10.900
just a bit. I'm starting to clip out a bit, and

00:26:10.900 --> 00:26:15.119
we don't want that at all. So... No, no, no,

00:26:15.259 --> 00:26:18.890
no, no. So, anyhow, you know, the guy, he got

00:26:18.890 --> 00:26:20.869
by on us. He sold us cat burritos or something

00:26:20.869 --> 00:26:27.269
like that. So, anyhow. And whatever. Yeah. Yeah.

00:26:28.150 --> 00:26:32.829
So. Well, at the end of you telling that story

00:26:32.829 --> 00:26:36.049
to begin with, is I was talking about this little

00:26:36.049 --> 00:26:39.289
Mexican restaurant I used to go to down there.

00:26:39.470 --> 00:26:43.250
Uh -huh. On Southwest, right by the bridge. It

00:26:43.250 --> 00:26:46.630
was called El Pequeño Guadalajara. I remember

00:26:46.630 --> 00:26:51.869
that one. Great food, man. Great food. Authentic.

00:26:52.150 --> 00:26:55.930
And that's why it's called the King of Guadalajara

00:26:55.930 --> 00:26:59.289
because the family was from Guadalajara. Okay.

00:27:00.230 --> 00:27:03.869
And we got talking about the pigeons around the

00:27:03.869 --> 00:27:06.789
bridge and you came up with that story. Yeah.

00:27:06.849 --> 00:27:10.750
It was probably pigeon then. Yeah, probably pigeon.

00:27:26.900 --> 00:27:30.339
Yeah, I'd take a chicken any day over any day.

00:27:30.599 --> 00:27:42.910
Yeah, I like pork too. We're having city chicken

00:27:42.910 --> 00:27:45.569
tonight. That man is going to go out and shoot

00:27:45.569 --> 00:27:48.089
a couple of pigeons, skin them, and char them.

00:27:48.970 --> 00:27:53.390
But speaking of charred meat, on Kokomo Beach

00:27:53.390 --> 00:27:57.950
in Curacao, there is a bar and grill. I learned

00:27:57.950 --> 00:28:00.809
it through the tour that they make charcoal out

00:28:00.809 --> 00:28:03.910
of this cactus -like plant. So I saw on the menu

00:28:03.910 --> 00:28:06.630
they have barbecue ribs, and we had to order

00:28:06.630 --> 00:28:09.900
some, you know, just to try their unique. brand

00:28:09.900 --> 00:28:11.700
of charcoal because that's all they have on the

00:28:11.700 --> 00:28:14.880
island okay they don't have hickory trees they

00:28:14.880 --> 00:28:17.099
don't have mesquite nothing all they have is

00:28:17.099 --> 00:28:19.519
cactuses except where it's developed and then

00:28:19.519 --> 00:28:24.819
there's palm trees so um this um this stuff that

00:28:24.819 --> 00:28:27.420
they get from this cactus i wanted to try i wanted

00:28:27.420 --> 00:28:29.420
to try it because you can't get anywhere else

00:28:29.420 --> 00:28:33.420
and i i can't say it was better than hickory

00:28:33.420 --> 00:28:37.859
and i can't say it was worse than hickory or

00:28:37.859 --> 00:28:40.779
or mesquite well i'm not a huge fan of mesquite

00:28:40.779 --> 00:28:44.200
but i can't say it's better or worse than any

00:28:44.200 --> 00:28:47.119
of them even cherry or apple or whatever it's

00:28:47.119 --> 00:28:50.059
just different and it's different enough to where

00:28:50.059 --> 00:28:51.960
i want to try to order it but you can't get it

00:28:51.960 --> 00:28:56.079
anywhere else they they do not export that so

00:28:56.079 --> 00:29:01.680
they just use it for their own charring so and

00:29:01.680 --> 00:29:04.579
anyhow I've got I've got another prank here Rob

00:29:04.579 --> 00:29:10.720
if you're ready for it okay so I must look bored

00:29:10.720 --> 00:29:13.559
you know had you know many opportunities to play

00:29:13.559 --> 00:29:15.420
pranks like this last one I'm getting ready to

00:29:15.420 --> 00:29:18.740
tell you about okay I was on the boat when I

00:29:18.740 --> 00:29:21.940
noticed that the resort I booked through a resort

00:29:21.940 --> 00:29:25.640
pass website was completely booked And I thought

00:29:25.640 --> 00:29:27.599
I booked it, right? So this is like the last

00:29:27.599 --> 00:29:28.759
day of the cruise. I'm starting to freak out.

00:29:28.819 --> 00:29:32.680
I'm like, oh, man, the flight doesn't leave until

00:29:32.680 --> 00:29:35.819
840. And we have no place to stay until then.

00:29:36.299 --> 00:29:41.279
Okay, it's hot. We have our luggage. So I emailed

00:29:41.279 --> 00:29:44.559
the chatbot feature on the site. And it suggested

00:29:44.559 --> 00:29:52.480
that I might just cold call hotels, right? You

00:29:52.480 --> 00:29:54.880
know, I go on that resort pass and daycation

00:29:54.880 --> 00:29:58.200
and all those, and they're all sold out. So that

00:29:58.200 --> 00:30:00.359
little chat bot, that little chat engine that

00:30:00.359 --> 00:30:05.059
they have, I said, hey, you know, how do I find

00:30:05.059 --> 00:30:07.819
out about any place? I was certain Miami's huge.

00:30:08.079 --> 00:30:11.079
There's got to be some resort that has some room,

00:30:11.200 --> 00:30:16.740
right? Well, it said cold call hotels and just

00:30:16.740 --> 00:30:19.930
ask them. Because sometimes, you know. People

00:30:19.930 --> 00:30:22.609
leave, they cancel, and you might be able to

00:30:22.609 --> 00:30:24.690
get a day room and you might be able to get a

00:30:24.690 --> 00:30:28.509
resort pass, right? So I'm calling these hotels,

00:30:28.890 --> 00:30:32.650
okay? And I guess I found this out later through

00:30:32.650 --> 00:30:36.750
someone I know that does bookings. I don't think

00:30:36.750 --> 00:30:39.710
he's going to want me to tell his name or what

00:30:39.710 --> 00:30:43.190
he does, but he does bookings for people, okay?

00:30:43.789 --> 00:30:46.589
And he told me. Whenever you go to book a day

00:30:46.589 --> 00:30:48.970
pass, because all these hotels, they hire an

00:30:48.970 --> 00:30:51.369
answering service because they're too busy to

00:30:51.369 --> 00:30:55.230
answer the phone. The answering service is commissioned.

00:30:56.210 --> 00:31:00.089
So how many rooms they sell, it's a percentage

00:31:00.089 --> 00:31:02.869
of that. Well, I guess the day passes and the

00:31:02.869 --> 00:31:05.950
resort passes, they make hardly anything. So

00:31:05.950 --> 00:31:08.849
I'm calling up there. I'm going, hey, yeah, do

00:31:08.849 --> 00:31:12.759
you have anything available for May 5th? Oh,

00:31:12.759 --> 00:31:16.400
okay. At night, you know. No, no, no, no. Not

00:31:16.400 --> 00:31:21.140
at night. A day pass. Click. Do it again. Click.

00:31:21.740 --> 00:31:25.200
Do it again. Click. I'm like, you motherfuckers.

00:31:25.420 --> 00:31:31.359
So, I call back. And I go, yeah, hey, I want

00:31:31.359 --> 00:31:33.579
to book three rooms tonight. So, automatically.

00:31:34.480 --> 00:31:36.599
Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. What's your name?

00:31:36.640 --> 00:31:39.279
And all this stuff, right? So, I'm giving them

00:31:39.279 --> 00:31:42.000
all this bullshit information. And then I start

00:31:42.000 --> 00:31:44.440
screwing with them because I'm pissed at this

00:31:44.440 --> 00:31:48.160
time, man. I probably called like five of them

00:31:48.160 --> 00:31:51.059
and got hung up on. I was fucking furious. So

00:31:51.059 --> 00:31:54.339
anyhow, this lady was like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:31:54.420 --> 00:31:56.759
Three rooms, sure. She's thinking she's going

00:31:56.759 --> 00:31:59.700
to get all this commission, right? So I start

00:31:59.700 --> 00:32:05.079
going over. I go, do you have a salad fork when

00:32:05.079 --> 00:32:11.640
you serve lunch? I'm not sure. And I go, I need

00:32:11.640 --> 00:32:14.099
a salad fork and a dinner fork. I can't use them

00:32:14.099 --> 00:32:19.119
on the both. You understand that, right? I can

00:32:19.119 --> 00:32:22.279
put in a request. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I go, what

00:32:22.279 --> 00:32:25.000
does the tile look like when you walk in the

00:32:25.000 --> 00:32:30.160
hotel? I don't know. I haven't been there. Well,

00:32:30.240 --> 00:32:35.220
if it's white tile, I can't go in. What? I just

00:32:35.220 --> 00:32:38.609
said it's white. Yeah. And I'm doing all this

00:32:38.609 --> 00:32:40.569
stuff and I go, what about the stairs? I go,

00:32:40.650 --> 00:32:43.250
do you know, are they over eight inch stairs?

00:32:43.789 --> 00:32:46.130
Cause my knee hurts and I can't go over these

00:32:46.130 --> 00:32:48.829
eight inch stairs. And it took her about 20 minutes

00:32:48.829 --> 00:32:51.910
to realize I was fucking with her. And she, she

00:32:51.910 --> 00:32:55.130
hung up on me. Then I called another guy back

00:32:55.130 --> 00:32:58.009
and I did half a much to him, but he hung up.

00:32:58.029 --> 00:33:00.509
He was a rather impatient and he was kind of

00:33:00.509 --> 00:33:02.569
a dick. So I ended up telling him, I go, dude,

00:33:02.569 --> 00:33:06.089
fuck you. It's an internet number. I don't care.

00:33:06.150 --> 00:33:08.849
It's off now. I shut it off. I told him to go

00:33:08.849 --> 00:33:13.309
fuck himself. And anyhow, the revenge was there.

00:33:13.369 --> 00:33:15.589
So I got him, you know, and I was doing all this

00:33:15.589 --> 00:33:18.049
stuff like, do you have allergen free carpets?

00:33:18.150 --> 00:33:21.589
What's that? Well, it's a special coating they

00:33:21.589 --> 00:33:24.170
put on the carpets. I have horrible allergies

00:33:24.170 --> 00:33:27.230
and it makes me sneeze all the time. And I scratch

00:33:27.230 --> 00:33:32.210
my ears and they bleed. Shit like that. No, honestly,

00:33:32.430 --> 00:33:35.049
that is something to think about. Allergies.

00:33:35.869 --> 00:33:41.089
You know, they have people from everywhere. You

00:33:41.089 --> 00:33:43.789
know, I'm sure... They do have allergies. They

00:33:43.789 --> 00:33:46.150
should think about stuff like that, to be honest.

00:33:46.410 --> 00:33:48.130
You know what? I'm sure that that... I bet you

00:33:48.130 --> 00:33:51.990
mentioned it. I bet it is a thing, Rob. I was

00:33:51.990 --> 00:33:55.950
just screwing with him. The problem is, the problem

00:33:55.950 --> 00:33:58.880
is they probably don't... I mean, yeah, they

00:33:58.880 --> 00:34:02.900
have their chemicals they clean with. You know,

00:34:02.900 --> 00:34:05.859
your carpet. What's your carpet made of? What's

00:34:05.859 --> 00:34:09.739
your bed linen made of? Yeah. You know? Well,

00:34:09.820 --> 00:34:13.320
one of the best ones I did was I asked the lady

00:34:13.320 --> 00:34:16.179
that I talked to first. I said, do you serve

00:34:16.179 --> 00:34:20.539
ice cream in the main dining room? And I go,

00:34:20.639 --> 00:34:24.079
I can't have regular ice cream. I'm lactose intolerant.

00:34:24.199 --> 00:34:26.619
Could you see if they have the new mustard -based

00:34:26.619 --> 00:34:31.320
ice cream? She's like, what? Yeah, and she still

00:34:31.320 --> 00:34:33.760
didn't get it. I'm just throwing all this stupid

00:34:33.760 --> 00:34:36.599
shit out at her, and I mean... Well, she don't

00:34:36.599 --> 00:34:39.539
know you. I caught you right there. Yeah, mustard

00:34:39.539 --> 00:34:42.260
-based... Yeah, I would have heard that and been

00:34:42.260 --> 00:34:45.579
like, dude, you're fucked, you know? And then

00:34:45.579 --> 00:34:49.780
we get to this... It was at Hilton Garden Inn,

00:34:49.860 --> 00:34:54.139
and it was right next to South Beach. So we need

00:34:54.139 --> 00:34:56.619
to have an extra couple hours, because I noticed...

00:34:57.320 --> 00:34:59.800
When I booked it, I had no idea that it was till

00:34:59.800 --> 00:35:03.260
four and we needed till 630 and then we leave,

00:35:03.300 --> 00:35:06.679
you know, leave for a plane back. So I'm sitting

00:35:06.679 --> 00:35:09.260
there and I'm wondering and I see she's dealing

00:35:09.260 --> 00:35:11.460
with some other people on vacation deal too,

00:35:11.619 --> 00:35:14.300
right? And only they hooked, you know, they did

00:35:14.300 --> 00:35:18.860
theirs online. So I come up there and it seems

00:35:18.860 --> 00:35:21.800
like they have no information at all. And so

00:35:21.800 --> 00:35:23.860
the first thing she says is she goes, did you

00:35:23.860 --> 00:35:27.730
book online or direct? So I'm like, hmm. Oh,

00:35:27.730 --> 00:35:31.269
I booked online. Okay. So she's like, all right,

00:35:31.309 --> 00:35:33.389
okay, cool. And then she's looking through it,

00:35:33.409 --> 00:35:35.289
and she goes, do you have a confirmation number?

00:35:35.429 --> 00:35:38.670
Read it off to her. Yeah. So I was needing these

00:35:38.670 --> 00:35:41.449
extra couple hours, and if they would let me

00:35:41.449 --> 00:35:43.730
have it, because their cleaners all go home at

00:35:43.730 --> 00:35:46.030
a certain time, right? And I have a feeling it's

00:35:46.030 --> 00:35:48.210
4 o 'clock. That's why they want to kick you

00:35:48.210 --> 00:35:53.539
out at 4. So I'm like, damn. I go up there and

00:35:53.539 --> 00:35:55.079
I'm like, yeah, I booked online. And she's like,

00:35:55.179 --> 00:35:57.219
okay. And she's looking everywhere. She doesn't

00:35:57.219 --> 00:35:59.239
have any information, right? Because I know this.

00:35:59.980 --> 00:36:04.119
So I go, when we're getting ready to leave, I

00:36:04.119 --> 00:36:08.199
go, where do we get our beach chairs at? What?

00:36:09.639 --> 00:36:12.360
Our beach chairs. It says we get a beach chair

00:36:12.360 --> 00:36:16.159
and umbrella, each of us, including in the deal.

00:36:16.239 --> 00:36:18.500
We don't have any here. You can rent them over

00:36:18.500 --> 00:36:21.820
there. I go, well, the website said that. And

00:36:21.820 --> 00:36:26.460
she's like, I don't know. So then I go, what

00:36:26.460 --> 00:36:28.800
about the free lunch? I go, it said that you

00:36:28.800 --> 00:36:30.980
have a free lunch. Is that the main dining room?

00:36:31.039 --> 00:36:32.460
I'm going to go get my lunch. I'm kind of hungry.

00:36:32.539 --> 00:36:38.460
What? The website said we get a free lunch. And

00:36:38.460 --> 00:36:40.320
she's like, I don't know anything about it. Oh,

00:36:40.440 --> 00:36:42.800
I can't believe it. They're taking it back already.

00:36:43.340 --> 00:36:47.119
And then finally I go, you know what? I go, at

00:36:47.119 --> 00:36:49.719
least, you know what? I mean, we booked till

00:36:49.719 --> 00:36:53.179
six o 'clock. is that at least on there and she

00:36:53.179 --> 00:36:55.840
goes no but you can stay you can stay till 6

00:36:55.840 --> 00:37:01.139
6 30 i don't care it's fine she just it worked

00:37:01.139 --> 00:37:04.619
because i i i took a nudge to poke at her and

00:37:04.619 --> 00:37:09.460
everything well she do whatever you want she

00:37:09.460 --> 00:37:11.579
thought that this website she thought that this

00:37:11.579 --> 00:37:13.719
website offered all that stuff because she did

00:37:13.719 --> 00:37:17.760
not communicate with them right and so So by

00:37:17.760 --> 00:37:19.619
that time, she's thinking I'm very disgruntled

00:37:19.619 --> 00:37:21.780
and probably going to go to the Internet and

00:37:21.780 --> 00:37:23.699
motherfuck them and all that stuff. So when I

00:37:23.699 --> 00:37:27.219
suggested we have an extra couple of hours, she's

00:37:27.219 --> 00:37:31.099
like, sure, sure. Yeah. So that's how it worked.

00:37:31.420 --> 00:37:36.019
Pretty much. Pretty much. Have your couple hours.

00:37:36.519 --> 00:37:42.559
Get the hell out of my face. So anyhow. All right.

00:37:42.599 --> 00:37:45.550
I am. Caught up on the crew stuff finally, so

00:37:45.550 --> 00:37:51.710
Rob, we turn it over to you. Okay, well, you

00:37:51.710 --> 00:37:57.969
know how I'm known to do, like, recalls and stuff?

00:37:58.329 --> 00:38:02.510
Uh -huh. Okay, well, I have a Food and Drug Administration

00:38:02.510 --> 00:38:09.110
warning. Oh, the FDA. And this is one that I

00:38:09.110 --> 00:38:14.320
read it, and I believe it. needs to be taken

00:38:14.320 --> 00:38:19.159
care of. Very well, yeah. It seems like it's

00:38:19.159 --> 00:38:24.119
aimed towards younger people. Okay. Okay. And

00:38:24.119 --> 00:38:30.099
this is off CNN. Okay. The U .S. Food and Drug

00:38:30.099 --> 00:38:33.400
Administration is sounding the alarm on a dangerous

00:38:33.400 --> 00:38:35.940
and growing health trend that could seriously

00:38:35.940 --> 00:38:41.250
harm you. The FDA... Issued a warning Thursday

00:38:41.250 --> 00:38:47.989
against the use of gas station heroin, known

00:38:47.989 --> 00:38:53.869
as tioneptin. Gas station heroin? That's the

00:38:53.869 --> 00:38:58.510
nickname. Okay. Or this chemical that they put

00:38:58.510 --> 00:39:02.070
in. Kind of like Bud Hash. There's a Jenga or

00:39:02.070 --> 00:39:04.929
something like that. They come up with nicknames.

00:39:04.949 --> 00:39:09.480
Okay. Okay, products containing a chemical are

00:39:09.480 --> 00:39:15.920
available at gas stores, convenience stores,

00:39:16.320 --> 00:39:20.739
gas stations, vape shops, and online retailers.

00:39:21.199 --> 00:39:26.539
But the FDA has not approved TNeptune for any

00:39:26.539 --> 00:39:31.320
use. The FDA said daily use poses a major risk

00:39:31.320 --> 00:39:34.679
to young people's health. Some of the symptoms

00:39:34.679 --> 00:39:40.360
of ingesting the product include agitation, coma,

00:39:40.699 --> 00:39:46.300
confusion, nausea, vomiting, and even death.

00:39:46.639 --> 00:39:50.500
The FDA has taken steps to protect the public

00:39:50.500 --> 00:39:53.340
by sending warning letters to companies that

00:39:53.340 --> 00:40:00.659
sell TNeptin products. Is this like packaged

00:40:00.659 --> 00:40:07.559
stuff? Yeah, I'm thinking it's like, you know

00:40:07.559 --> 00:40:10.739
how you buy the speed pills and get the package

00:40:10.739 --> 00:40:15.679
or the gas? You've got to watch the chemicals

00:40:15.679 --> 00:40:19.820
in it. And this TNF has now been nicknamed gas

00:40:19.820 --> 00:40:23.659
station heroin. Okay, well, you see, I thought

00:40:23.659 --> 00:40:25.300
you were going completely different. I thought

00:40:25.300 --> 00:40:28.239
they were making a drug with something at the

00:40:28.239 --> 00:40:31.840
gas pump. Okay, wow. No, no, no, no, no, no.

00:40:32.429 --> 00:40:37.210
It's bought in a package. You know how you get

00:40:37.210 --> 00:40:42.250
your, what the hell are they? Any of it, your

00:40:42.250 --> 00:40:45.449
energy pills, whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah, the

00:40:45.449 --> 00:40:50.409
truck stop speed. Yeah, yeah, yep, they come

00:40:50.409 --> 00:40:51.789
in a little foil package. Got to watch what's

00:40:51.789 --> 00:40:56.869
in it. And evidently, this is becoming a thing,

00:40:57.150 --> 00:41:00.929
and I'm taking it towards the younger generation.

00:41:01.550 --> 00:41:04.530
Does it say what it does besides coma and all

00:41:04.530 --> 00:41:10.250
that? Is it like it does? It doesn't give the

00:41:10.250 --> 00:41:15.030
euphoria, but it does say symptoms include agitation,

00:41:15.250 --> 00:41:20.010
confusion, nausea. But that could be if you take

00:41:20.010 --> 00:41:23.369
too much. I don't know. I have not looked into

00:41:23.369 --> 00:41:28.050
it that far. Well, you know what? I think I'm

00:41:28.050 --> 00:41:31.460
going to. Well, I may have that on the next one.

00:41:31.900 --> 00:41:35.659
You know what? Rob, thank you, because you don't

00:41:35.659 --> 00:41:40.599
want to... I just ran across this wall ago. Gas

00:41:40.599 --> 00:41:44.119
Stop Heroin. Okay. You guys want to... What is

00:41:44.119 --> 00:41:47.059
the name of that? Gas Station Heroin. And the

00:41:47.059 --> 00:41:51.119
actual name is Tianectin. Tianectin. T -I -A

00:41:51.119 --> 00:41:59.789
-N -E -T -I -N -E. And in that picture above,

00:42:00.349 --> 00:42:08.369
they show this energy shot bottle that says Neptune

00:42:08.369 --> 00:42:15.949
6. Okay. I'm guessing it's maybe in the liquid

00:42:15.949 --> 00:42:20.989
energy shot. I don't know. I am going to do further

00:42:20.989 --> 00:42:23.670
research on this. Because we don't need our kids

00:42:23.670 --> 00:42:37.619
on this shit. Hell no. Yeah, I know. Wow, thank

00:42:37.619 --> 00:42:42.800
you, Rob. Do you want to go... Well, we're going

00:42:42.800 --> 00:42:44.440
to have to take our first break. We're way late.

00:42:44.500 --> 00:42:47.340
Big surprise. And then do you want to go to emails?

00:42:52.440 --> 00:42:54.159
We've got a couple other big things we've got

00:42:54.159 --> 00:42:56.219
to get to. Yes, we'll get to them right after

00:42:56.219 --> 00:42:59.539
the email. Does that sound like a plan? And now,

00:42:59.739 --> 00:43:08.340
Deep Thoughts with Mark. So, if I have a glass

00:43:08.340 --> 00:43:12.880
of ice water and the ice melts into the water,

00:43:13.059 --> 00:43:19.860
is my water then watered down? Hmm. I may never

00:43:19.860 --> 00:43:28.789
know. Your mama's so fat, when she was floating

00:43:28.789 --> 00:43:31.929
in the ocean, Spain claimed her as their new

00:43:31.929 --> 00:43:35.610
territory. Harambe used to listen to our original

00:43:35.610 --> 00:43:38.369
show, Two Dipshits and Cheek Radio Shack Realistic

00:43:38.369 --> 00:43:41.590
Tape Recorder. Harambe does not listen to our

00:43:41.590 --> 00:43:44.090
original show, Two Dipshits and Cheek Radio Shack

00:43:44.090 --> 00:43:47.460
Realistic Tape Recorder anymore. You might ask

00:43:47.460 --> 00:43:50.039
why Harambe never listens to our original show,

00:43:50.179 --> 00:43:52.119
Too Gypsious, in a cheap Radio Shack realistic

00:43:52.119 --> 00:43:55.539
tape recorder. Well, it's because Harambe is

00:43:55.539 --> 00:43:58.199
dead. Senselessly murdered because some idiot

00:43:58.199 --> 00:44:00.280
did not watch her child properly while looking

00:44:00.280 --> 00:44:03.099
on her phone. Sadly, Harambe does not listen

00:44:03.099 --> 00:44:05.199
to our original show, Too Gypsious, in the cheap

00:44:05.199 --> 00:44:08.059
Radio Shack realistic tape recorder, or any other

00:44:08.059 --> 00:44:12.699
show. Anymore. Sorry, Harambe. Origin of April

00:44:12.699 --> 00:44:16.340
Fools. Religious holdouts in the 16th century

00:44:16.340 --> 00:44:18.699
refused to celebrate the re -established New

00:44:18.699 --> 00:44:22.559
Year's date on January 1st, preferent the end

00:44:22.559 --> 00:44:25.559
of the Holy Week in April, making them April

00:44:25.559 --> 00:44:30.760
fools. Next up, things overheard in hell. John

00:44:30.760 --> 00:44:35.860
Wayne Gacy is in charge of human resources. Two

00:44:35.860 --> 00:44:38.900
douchebags and a microphone as entertaining as

00:44:38.900 --> 00:44:57.800
a botulism burp. Two douchebags and microphone.

00:44:58.019 --> 00:45:02.360
I'm Mark in the Kansas City chapter. And I am

00:45:02.360 --> 00:45:05.519
Rob at the beautiful angle arm of Lake of the

00:45:05.519 --> 00:45:10.679
Ozarks. All right. Thank you, Rob. Okay. We got

00:45:10.679 --> 00:45:14.920
some emails. Hey, guys. I'm convinced that you,

00:45:14.940 --> 00:45:17.360
too, could start a network of shows just like

00:45:17.360 --> 00:45:20.199
the douchebags. People more than ever need this

00:45:20.199 --> 00:45:21.900
type of show with everything going on in the

00:45:21.900 --> 00:45:26.909
world today. Jamie in New Hampshire. Let us get

00:45:26.909 --> 00:45:34.110
on YouTube first, please. Right? Yes. All the

00:45:34.110 --> 00:45:37.070
logistics and starting an internet radio station

00:45:37.070 --> 00:45:41.690
or whatever, or a live streaming loop, that would

00:45:41.690 --> 00:45:43.469
have to go after. We've got to get on YouTube

00:45:43.469 --> 00:45:46.289
first. I mean, and also the monetary aspect of

00:45:46.289 --> 00:45:48.030
it. You know, if we could get a little bit of

00:45:48.030 --> 00:45:49.809
money coming in, then we could have a little

00:45:49.809 --> 00:45:53.170
bit of revenue. Yeah, it could help our equipment

00:45:53.170 --> 00:45:58.980
issue. Yes. Yeah, so I'm not opposed to it. It's

00:45:58.980 --> 00:46:01.940
just down the road, Jamie, and thank you. That's

00:46:01.940 --> 00:46:04.260
a really good question. I want to say thank you,

00:46:04.260 --> 00:46:09.639
Jamie, because that tells us we're doing exactly

00:46:09.639 --> 00:46:13.960
what we set out to do. Exactly. You don't want

00:46:13.960 --> 00:46:17.659
to be like everybody else. And like Jamie said,

00:46:17.980 --> 00:46:20.519
I don't know if it's a he or she, Jamie said

00:46:20.519 --> 00:46:25.269
that they need people like us. Yeah. And that's

00:46:25.269 --> 00:46:29.010
what we want. Thank you. And I do know some people.

00:46:29.070 --> 00:46:31.369
That makes me feel good. That makes me feel good.

00:46:31.570 --> 00:46:34.909
I know some naturally hilarious people that would

00:46:34.909 --> 00:46:39.869
probably do a great show as well. Yeah. And one

00:46:39.869 --> 00:46:41.809
of them is Steve, the guy I just spoke about.

00:46:41.889 --> 00:46:43.469
You know, we're eating those pigeon burritos

00:46:43.469 --> 00:46:45.730
or whatever. He would be a guy I'd love to have

00:46:45.730 --> 00:46:48.730
a show. He's a very interesting guy, to say the

00:46:48.730 --> 00:46:53.110
least. Oh, dude. Davey. Oh, Davey. Well, Davey,

00:46:53.110 --> 00:46:55.639
you got to get him to do it. Love the guy, but

00:46:55.639 --> 00:47:00.320
geez. Yeah, he, yeah. You know, you can go down

00:47:00.320 --> 00:47:02.739
there and see him all day long. He's happy. He's

00:47:02.739 --> 00:47:05.840
chipper, everything. But getting him to do anything,

00:47:05.960 --> 00:47:09.539
coming over to your house to visit, I mean, I

00:47:09.539 --> 00:47:14.039
barely got him to go see Wasp, you know. I barely

00:47:14.039 --> 00:47:19.059
got him to go see the Dead Daisies with Glenn

00:47:19.059 --> 00:47:22.260
Hughes, you know. Really? Yeah, in Nashville.

00:47:25.619 --> 00:47:33.400
He's just such a homebody. He's always been elusive.

00:47:34.539 --> 00:47:40.360
He's always been home -based. Even back when

00:47:40.360 --> 00:47:45.039
he was a teenager. He was home -based. Well,

00:47:45.059 --> 00:47:47.260
the last time I talked to him about the podcast

00:47:47.260 --> 00:47:49.340
is I told him how much I love it and how you

00:47:49.340 --> 00:47:52.250
and I just have a blast. And he said, believe

00:47:52.250 --> 00:47:56.050
me, Mark, he said, if I got on the podcast, I

00:47:56.050 --> 00:48:00.190
would get the thing shut down. And I'm like,

00:48:00.230 --> 00:48:02.630
I'm like, I think it's kind of impossible, isn't

00:48:02.630 --> 00:48:04.730
it? And then I got to think about it. Maybe not.

00:48:06.210 --> 00:48:12.570
Yeah. I think I don't think he meant that in

00:48:12.570 --> 00:48:14.630
a good way either. And he wasn't. No, no, no.

00:48:14.650 --> 00:48:16.670
He's happy we have a podcast. He doesn't want

00:48:16.670 --> 00:48:19.170
to shut down or nothing. I think he's just got

00:48:19.170 --> 00:48:21.760
a lot of stuff he'd like to get out. So, anyhow,

00:48:21.980 --> 00:48:24.960
if it ever progresses. Yeah, it'd be an open

00:48:24.960 --> 00:48:29.639
board. Yeah, and the way he said it tells me

00:48:29.639 --> 00:48:34.099
that he was not joking. So, all right. Mark,

00:48:34.139 --> 00:48:36.199
I'd love to talk to you one -on -one about current

00:48:36.199 --> 00:48:38.900
issues here in the Kansas City area. I think

00:48:38.900 --> 00:48:41.079
we would have some good ideas on ways to improve

00:48:41.079 --> 00:48:46.239
the community. Randy. Okay, hang on, Randy. I

00:48:46.239 --> 00:48:49.619
got a couple things to say here. Okay. I would

00:48:49.619 --> 00:48:54.619
love to. I would love to do that. But if we did

00:48:54.619 --> 00:48:56.400
something like that, I think you're talking about

00:48:56.400 --> 00:48:59.360
a podcast talking, you know, talk one on one.

00:48:59.400 --> 00:49:02.519
I think you're talking about a podcast. OK, I

00:49:02.519 --> 00:49:05.079
would not want that to be under the two douchebags

00:49:05.079 --> 00:49:08.320
and microphone umbrella. I would want to start

00:49:08.320 --> 00:49:10.980
another feed, another RSS or whatever it's on

00:49:10.980 --> 00:49:14.599
and be a serious podcast like that, you know,

00:49:14.599 --> 00:49:16.980
and. And have things, you know, talk about the

00:49:16.980 --> 00:49:20.119
community or whatever, you know, whatever you

00:49:20.119 --> 00:49:23.860
think is important to help people. I'd love to.

00:49:23.960 --> 00:49:26.340
But then again, like the first one to Jamie.

00:49:26.340 --> 00:49:29.719
You and I have talked about doing something.

00:49:29.980 --> 00:49:33.340
We are seriously thinking about possibly doing

00:49:33.340 --> 00:49:39.619
a political show. It would be different than

00:49:39.619 --> 00:49:43.159
this one. Kind of like so Burnmark did. Yeah,

00:49:43.280 --> 00:49:45.780
and it won't be under the douchebags realm. It

00:49:45.780 --> 00:49:47.739
will not. It'll be something completely different.

00:49:48.000 --> 00:49:51.940
And I think I'm going to use a stage name. Honestly,

00:49:52.440 --> 00:49:55.440
there is. Yeah. Yeah, me too. Because there is

00:49:55.440 --> 00:49:59.579
so much going on right now. Yeah. There's a lot

00:49:59.579 --> 00:50:02.619
to talk about. And that's mainly with my phone.

00:50:02.760 --> 00:50:04.800
That's why I'm having a hard time with my stories.

00:50:04.940 --> 00:50:07.320
But I just come with it. You're doing good ones.

00:50:07.769 --> 00:50:10.809
So it is so polarized, American politics, that

00:50:10.809 --> 00:50:12.929
I would not be comfortable putting my name behind

00:50:12.929 --> 00:50:16.269
anything on either side. Yeah. And so it would

00:50:16.269 --> 00:50:18.869
be a stage name. And now it's world politics.

00:50:18.929 --> 00:50:22.389
It's not this. Yes. But I come up with a stage

00:50:22.389 --> 00:50:25.469
name. Tell me if you think it's good or not.

00:50:25.909 --> 00:50:32.730
Jim Dandy. That's awesome. That's awesome. That's

00:50:32.730 --> 00:50:34.530
the lead singer of Black Oak, Arkansas, dude.

00:50:35.849 --> 00:50:38.550
Exactly. Exactly. I know exactly who you're talking

00:50:38.550 --> 00:50:44.829
about. All right. Hey, Deucebags. I'm getting

00:50:44.829 --> 00:50:46.650
ready to be a featured guest on the Fuckhammer

00:50:46.650 --> 00:50:51.010
podcast. Should I give your show a plug? You

00:50:51.010 --> 00:50:56.050
got a podcast? Fuckhammer podcast, he said. Gotta

00:50:56.050 --> 00:50:59.349
look that up. Mitch on the beautiful crystal

00:50:59.349 --> 00:51:01.869
blue waters of the Massey Creek arm of Lake Freeman.

00:51:04.360 --> 00:51:06.579
I can't wait to hear the Fuckhammer podcast.

00:51:06.699 --> 00:51:08.940
And yeah, have them plug us. I'm sure they're

00:51:08.940 --> 00:51:11.079
much bigger than us. I mean, it is Fuckhammer.

00:51:11.179 --> 00:51:13.280
I mean, you know, one of the greatest bands ever.

00:51:13.360 --> 00:51:15.480
We plugged them. You're talking about them now.

00:51:15.699 --> 00:51:18.480
Yeah, yeah. So yeah, Fuckhammer, talk about us.

00:51:19.659 --> 00:51:24.780
Which leads us to this next email, Rob. Idiots.

00:51:25.960 --> 00:51:29.199
Massey Creek runs just north of Cleveland. Holmes

00:51:29.199 --> 00:51:33.019
Road runs over it. The South Grand River is Freeman.

00:51:33.530 --> 00:51:36.590
Two highway runs over it. It is just east of

00:51:36.590 --> 00:51:38.929
Freeman, and it's signed you know who. No, I

00:51:38.929 --> 00:51:42.550
don't know who. Okay, okay, I know South Creek.

00:51:42.630 --> 00:51:46.530
Yeah, that's down by my family. Okay. Is that

00:51:46.530 --> 00:51:52.829
true? I don't know where Freeman Lake is. It's

00:51:52.829 --> 00:51:55.010
south of Freeman, but I was thinking that Massey

00:51:55.010 --> 00:51:59.269
Creek went that way. Well, my grandparents' farm

00:51:59.269 --> 00:52:05.460
was off D .D. Yeah, I know where that's at. Huh.

00:52:05.760 --> 00:52:14.880
Used to call it Double D's. Maybe this guy's

00:52:14.880 --> 00:52:19.559
right, Mr. You -Know -Who. You know, I know someone

00:52:19.559 --> 00:52:21.420
I can talk to. I'm going to get an affirmative

00:52:21.420 --> 00:52:24.760
yes or no. I'm going to get an affirmative yes

00:52:24.760 --> 00:52:28.179
or no on that. Okay, You -Know -Who, you might

00:52:28.179 --> 00:52:30.800
be right. And if you're right, then we will get

00:52:30.800 --> 00:52:36.920
with Mitch and have Miss... So you think this

00:52:36.920 --> 00:52:46.000
guy's right? We'll find out. Okay. I was thinking

00:52:46.000 --> 00:52:48.159
that, like, the Freeman Lake had a couple of

00:52:48.159 --> 00:52:52.039
arms, but I don't know. Okay. All right, cool.

00:52:54.440 --> 00:52:59.219
Okay, this next one, I mean, I understand what

00:52:59.219 --> 00:53:01.639
he's saying, and I'm going along with it because

00:53:01.639 --> 00:53:04.960
we love him. Hey, friends. I am just wanting

00:53:04.960 --> 00:53:07.519
to hear your answers. I will try to explain.

00:53:07.780 --> 00:53:10.900
I feel your podcast is hilarious without my participation.

00:53:11.559 --> 00:53:13.920
Although I do appreciate the involvement you

00:53:13.920 --> 00:53:17.380
would like me to have in the show, please let

00:53:17.380 --> 00:53:19.980
me enjoy it. I want to hear your answers and

00:53:19.980 --> 00:53:22.460
not mine. This is not being hostile or angry.

00:53:22.599 --> 00:53:28.659
I just feel you guys need to not talk to me.

00:53:29.280 --> 00:53:32.460
Ronnie, I'm sorry. I think you have a typo here.

00:53:33.449 --> 00:53:36.889
I just, I really don't feel like talking, I guess

00:53:36.889 --> 00:53:39.590
is what he's saying. And I just love the show.

00:53:39.809 --> 00:53:44.510
Ronnie and Tulsa, the Tulsa King. Okay, I guess

00:53:44.510 --> 00:53:49.110
we won't do right back at you then, right? Okay.

00:53:52.670 --> 00:53:56.110
Keep sending the lists in, Ronnie. We love them.

00:53:56.909 --> 00:54:00.309
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I mean, you are an entertaining

00:54:00.309 --> 00:54:03.630
guy. And that's why we tried to incorporate you

00:54:03.630 --> 00:54:07.070
more in the program. That's all. It is because

00:54:07.070 --> 00:54:09.349
you come up with great questions and you always

00:54:09.349 --> 00:54:11.449
get the zingers. You know, you're kind of like

00:54:11.449 --> 00:54:14.329
Mitch. You're like a stapless program. I had

00:54:14.329 --> 00:54:18.150
no idea you were uncomfortable doing all the

00:54:18.150 --> 00:54:20.010
lists and stuff. So, all right. Good enough.

00:54:20.329 --> 00:54:22.789
Can we agree to say, all right, Ronnie, keep

00:54:22.789 --> 00:54:25.610
sending in your emails and you don't have to

00:54:25.610 --> 00:54:28.989
answer anything. Is that good? Yeah. Okay. Sounds

00:54:28.989 --> 00:54:33.289
great. All right. Ronnie, thank you. We will

00:54:33.289 --> 00:54:38.949
do that. Rob, can a person put chocolate ice

00:54:38.949 --> 00:54:41.050
cream over hot apple pie if you're out of vanilla?

00:54:41.590 --> 00:54:44.570
Sweet Pea in Davenport. I think that's Iowa.

00:54:48.230 --> 00:54:52.309
Oh, no. Chocolate goes with everything. So you

00:54:52.309 --> 00:54:56.230
can put chocolate ice cream on apple pie? Yes.

00:54:57.090 --> 00:55:03.539
Sweet Pea, there you go. The ruling is yes. All

00:55:03.539 --> 00:55:13.340
right. There you go. I think I agree with it.

00:55:13.360 --> 00:55:16.199
And finally, hey there. I'm dropping a comment.

00:55:16.219 --> 00:55:18.699
I normally do not email any podcast or show.

00:55:18.800 --> 00:55:21.380
And thank you. That is a great, great, great

00:55:21.380 --> 00:55:26.199
compliment. Never emails any podcast or show

00:55:26.199 --> 00:55:32.900
but us. We feel privileged here. We feel special.

00:55:32.960 --> 00:55:36.039
Thank you. Richard is the name. I just would

00:55:36.039 --> 00:55:38.980
like to show my support for the new Drink of

00:55:38.980 --> 00:55:44.179
the Week segment. Bravo, guys. Richard. Good.

00:55:44.239 --> 00:55:46.460
I'm glad you like it. Rob, what was your verdict

00:55:46.460 --> 00:55:53.380
on it? Do you like it? Okay. Repeat that. I was

00:55:53.380 --> 00:55:57.679
reading something. Okay. I got Matthew Creek

00:55:57.679 --> 00:56:00.360
pulled up. No, that's cool. That's cool, Rob.

00:56:00.519 --> 00:56:05.320
Okay, basically in a nutshell is Richard wrote,

00:56:05.500 --> 00:56:09.619
he never writes shows, he wrote us. And he said

00:56:09.619 --> 00:56:12.400
that he really enjoys this show and he is really...

00:56:12.400 --> 00:56:18.400
You're privileged. Me too. And he loves the new

00:56:18.400 --> 00:56:20.440
segment. He wanted to express how much he likes

00:56:20.440 --> 00:56:24.269
it, the Drink of the Week segment. Yes. Yeah.

00:56:24.329 --> 00:56:26.769
So, Rob, do you like that, too? Do you think

00:56:26.769 --> 00:56:29.090
it's a good segment? Yes. Yeah, I like that.

00:56:29.130 --> 00:56:31.469
I like that segment, too. Well, I was kind of

00:56:31.469 --> 00:56:33.550
worried about it because it's kind of, you know,

00:56:33.570 --> 00:56:37.389
I don't know. You know what? It is a good segment.

00:56:37.510 --> 00:56:41.570
All right. All right. And I've got a featured

00:56:41.570 --> 00:56:43.130
email, but we're going to do it later because

00:56:43.130 --> 00:56:46.389
we're running out of time. And also, I don't

00:56:46.389 --> 00:56:49.469
feel like going into it. It's something that's

00:56:49.469 --> 00:56:53.090
been going on for a while. So, anyhow. Okay.

00:56:53.559 --> 00:56:56.780
Well, I've got to bring this up since we're talking

00:56:56.780 --> 00:57:03.159
about Massey Creek. Okay. Massey Creek is in

00:57:03.159 --> 00:57:10.000
the Westline area. That's right. That's right.

00:57:11.900 --> 00:57:18.119
It is not. Yeah. South Grand Rapids. Yeah. Yeah.

00:57:18.179 --> 00:57:24.119
Our emailer was correct. It is not. Part of Freeman

00:57:24.119 --> 00:57:26.480
Lake. What was the guy's name? It's a creek.

00:57:27.079 --> 00:57:31.659
Hang on. Oh, you know who. We don't know who

00:57:31.659 --> 00:57:36.239
it is. Yeah, you know who. Yeah. It was correct.

00:57:37.260 --> 00:57:44.239
Thank you. Okay, Mitch. Wait a minute. Wait a

00:57:44.239 --> 00:57:47.739
minute. Yeah, it's just a creek. It's not part

00:57:47.739 --> 00:57:50.980
of Freeman Lake. It doesn't go into there at

00:57:50.980 --> 00:58:02.070
all? Well, you can call it down. All right. Okay.

00:58:02.369 --> 00:58:09.090
Well, actually, actually, Massey Creek and East

00:58:09.090 --> 00:58:15.190
Creek tie into the South Grand River. Okay. Mitch,

00:58:15.449 --> 00:58:19.769
you're right then. At the same time. They wind

00:58:19.769 --> 00:58:24.750
into the South Grand. Mitch is correct then,

00:58:24.769 --> 00:58:37.679
right? Cleveland Avenue, South Grove Road, 254,

00:58:37.880 --> 00:58:45.539
255th. Mm -hmm. Yeah, just, I'd say about 250th,

00:58:45.559 --> 00:58:50.840
245th, 250th is where they tie into the South

00:58:50.840 --> 00:58:59.239
Grand. Okay. All right, here's what. It's in

00:58:59.239 --> 00:59:02.500
the... It's in the area, and Mitch seems to know

00:59:02.500 --> 00:59:05.059
that area really well. So I think I'm going to

00:59:05.059 --> 00:59:07.320
take Mitch's word if that's Massey Creek Arm,

00:59:07.440 --> 00:59:10.199
you know, or maybe that's what they think around

00:59:10.199 --> 00:59:11.820
there, or maybe that's what they call it. So

00:59:11.820 --> 00:59:15.119
I think we give Mitch the benefit of the doubt.

00:59:16.519 --> 00:59:19.719
I didn't even see Greenland Lake on the map.

00:59:20.519 --> 00:59:26.139
It's not very big. But then again, think of it

00:59:26.139 --> 00:59:30.079
like this, Rob. Maybe he's doing that tongue

00:59:30.079 --> 00:59:32.139
-in -cheek and he knows there's not a Massey

00:59:32.139 --> 00:59:36.800
Creek arm. Okay, well, let me read you this part.

00:59:37.199 --> 00:59:42.780
Okay. Massey Creek is listed in the streams category

00:59:42.780 --> 00:59:49.880
of Cass County. It's not even a river. Streams.

00:59:50.920 --> 01:00:03.800
Okay. Okay. All right. Okay. Massey Creek Farm

01:00:03.800 --> 01:00:10.539
and Timber. You know that? No, I didn't know

01:00:10.539 --> 01:00:15.460
that. Yeah. Okay. That's where they get the,

01:00:15.480 --> 01:00:36.219
yeah. Timber and all that. Huh. Okay. Okay. All

01:00:36.219 --> 01:00:43.559
right. Okay, Rob, I'm with Mitch. What about

01:00:43.559 --> 01:00:53.079
you? I'm not giving this to Mitch. Okay. Rocky

01:00:53.079 --> 01:00:59.539
Creek is not part of Bremen Lake. Okay. All right.

01:01:01.159 --> 01:01:04.019
Okay. All right. Mitch, I want your rebuttal,

01:01:04.019 --> 01:01:13.320
obviously. Send in an email. Put down that Fuckhammer

01:01:13.320 --> 01:01:18.860
8 -track tape and break us off an email. All

01:01:18.860 --> 01:01:21.739
right. We have some business to get to, Rob.

01:01:23.860 --> 01:01:27.000
Yes, we do. All right. Do you want to start off

01:01:27.000 --> 01:01:31.420
with the top seven per Ronnie and Tulsa, the

01:01:31.420 --> 01:01:35.619
Tulsa King, Ass Cheek Bite, Nipple Yank, and

01:01:35.619 --> 01:01:39.679
Nut Flick? And go, Rob. Your top seven. This

01:01:39.679 --> 01:01:45.000
is top seven each category. Oh, and why? And

01:01:45.000 --> 01:01:47.760
why? He wants to know why, too. Did you put that

01:01:47.760 --> 01:01:55.219
in there, too? Yeah, I'll make it up as I go.

01:01:55.280 --> 01:01:58.300
Okay, good. Yeah, I have my top seven in each

01:01:58.300 --> 01:02:06.440
category. Okay, cool. I do, too. Okay. We're

01:02:06.440 --> 01:02:12.679
going to start out with the Netflix. Okay. Number

01:02:12.679 --> 01:02:17.590
seven, I have John Goodman. I would like to see

01:02:17.590 --> 01:02:21.789
his face. He's tall, he's old, he'd look like

01:02:21.789 --> 01:02:25.949
a speed bag I could hit quick to get out. Sounds

01:02:25.949 --> 01:02:34.250
good. Number six, Sebastian Bach. Okay. I want

01:02:34.250 --> 01:02:39.809
him to hit the notes like Lizzie Ailes. He probably

01:02:39.809 --> 01:02:48.199
will. Number five, Shaquille O 'Neal. Oh. Okay.

01:02:49.480 --> 01:02:52.239
He'd be a good target. I could run underneath

01:02:52.239 --> 01:02:54.659
his legs, and with his personality, he'd have

01:02:54.659 --> 01:03:00.139
a great crash. He probably would. Oh, you little

01:03:00.139 --> 01:03:06.780
trickster. He'd be laughing his ass off. You're

01:03:06.780 --> 01:03:13.420
just a real stinker. Number four. Joe Biden.

01:03:14.019 --> 01:03:18.409
Oh. All right. With a clothespin on your nose?

01:03:18.789 --> 01:03:21.849
I just think it'd be funny as shit. It would

01:03:21.849 --> 01:03:25.250
be. He probably wouldn't even notice. Yeah, I

01:03:25.250 --> 01:03:31.170
got to stay with it. Number three. Jim Carrey.

01:03:32.429 --> 01:03:36.429
Oh, man, I didn't get that one. I love that one.

01:03:37.570 --> 01:03:44.230
Yes. He would be great. He would have a great

01:03:44.230 --> 01:03:54.739
reaction. I agree. Number two? Sam Kinison. Oh,

01:03:54.739 --> 01:04:03.099
oh, oh! Gotta hear it. Gotta hear it. And number

01:04:03.099 --> 01:04:07.239
one, I still want to know the truth. Goes to

01:04:07.239 --> 01:04:16.440
Caitlyn Jenner. Another great one. Oh, I like

01:04:16.440 --> 01:04:20.980
that a lot. Rob, you brought it. Okay, I guess...

01:04:20.980 --> 01:04:23.480
Are you going to go to your Netflix or do you

01:04:23.480 --> 01:04:27.300
want... Yeah, yeah, let's go back and forth.

01:04:27.400 --> 01:04:31.539
Yeah, that'll work best probably. Okay, my Netflix.

01:04:32.139 --> 01:04:36.820
Number seven, George W. Bush. Just because it

01:04:36.820 --> 01:04:39.380
would be a legend, it would be reported everywhere

01:04:39.380 --> 01:04:41.539
that he got flicked in the nuts by some unknown

01:04:41.539 --> 01:04:43.510
assailant. That would be great, wouldn't it?

01:04:43.570 --> 01:04:47.550
And how would they describe that? Former President

01:04:47.550 --> 01:04:50.130
George W. Bush seemed to have been assaulted

01:04:50.130 --> 01:04:56.789
by a strange man, and he seemed to have got tapped

01:04:56.789 --> 01:05:00.369
in the groin. It was very painful. He was last

01:05:00.369 --> 01:05:02.829
seen on the ground screaming, and Secret Service

01:05:02.829 --> 01:05:05.710
came by and iced his balls. Is that what they'd

01:05:05.710 --> 01:05:11.489
say? You mentioned George Bush. That was my question.

01:05:12.650 --> 01:05:18.269
Does he still have Secret Service? You know what?

01:05:18.309 --> 01:05:20.630
That's a good way to find out, isn't it? I'm

01:05:20.630 --> 01:05:24.010
thinking I read something. They had gotten pulled.

01:05:24.489 --> 01:05:27.670
Oh, so his nuts are free game. I don't know.

01:05:27.889 --> 01:05:31.309
I don't know. His nuts are free game. Somebody's

01:05:31.309 --> 01:05:35.010
got pulled. A couple people's got pulled. Okay.

01:05:35.190 --> 01:05:44.190
Yeah. Do what? Oh, yeah. Oh, hell yeah. Number

01:05:44.190 --> 01:05:48.429
six, Mickey Rourke. He really needed it for years.

01:05:48.829 --> 01:05:55.170
So now he gets it. Dude, he played in a wrestler.

01:05:55.329 --> 01:06:01.070
He beat your ass. Yeah. But I'll still be the

01:06:01.070 --> 01:06:04.789
guy that flicked Mickey Rourke's nuts. I'll go

01:06:04.789 --> 01:06:10.309
down in infamy. You'd be in history. Yes. Number

01:06:10.309 --> 01:06:14.090
five. Simon Cowell. I haven't seen him angry

01:06:14.090 --> 01:06:17.670
in a while, so I want to see that again. All

01:06:17.670 --> 01:06:22.090
right. You little bastard. I don't know, however

01:06:22.090 --> 01:06:26.809
English people talk. Number four, Vince Neil

01:06:26.809 --> 01:06:31.369
because his fat ass couldn't catch me. Awesome.

01:06:32.269 --> 01:06:36.289
Yep. And I think not just a nut flick, but maybe

01:06:36.289 --> 01:06:38.429
like a fucking yank, too. What do you think?

01:06:38.489 --> 01:06:43.739
Just like a fucking yank. Just for that. Yeah,

01:06:43.760 --> 01:06:48.059
yeah, yeah. Yeah, just give it a little yank.

01:06:48.059 --> 01:06:50.599
Yeah, yeah, a little pinch. The pinch. There

01:06:50.599 --> 01:06:53.659
we go, the pinch. We got nipple yank. It's a

01:06:53.659 --> 01:07:01.239
pinch. Number three, Vladimir Putin because he's

01:07:01.239 --> 01:07:14.030
a short little pussy ass. Yep. And number two,

01:07:14.210 --> 01:07:21.110
Kim Jong -un, for the same reason. He would be

01:07:21.110 --> 01:07:23.789
fun. Yeah, that would be fun. Oh, yeah. I mean,

01:07:23.789 --> 01:07:25.789
if he couldn't, like, feed me to starving dogs

01:07:25.789 --> 01:07:28.670
or something, it'd be fantastic. Or if I could...

01:07:28.670 --> 01:07:30.989
He'd just look around like, what, what, what?

01:07:31.769 --> 01:07:37.630
And number one, I hope you remember this guy.

01:07:37.789 --> 01:07:41.199
He does Ford truck commercials now locally. I

01:07:41.199 --> 01:07:44.199
think for Lewisburg Ford or something. Toby Tobin.

01:07:44.780 --> 01:07:47.599
Just because he looks like he needs a Netflix.

01:07:47.980 --> 01:07:50.440
Oh, Toby. God, I have not heard that name in

01:07:50.440 --> 01:07:53.619
years. Yeah, he looks like he needs a Netflix.

01:07:54.940 --> 01:08:01.940
Lovingly, playful. That is my seven Netflix.

01:08:02.179 --> 01:08:05.280
Yeah, he used to be on the radio, the TV. Yeah,

01:08:05.280 --> 01:08:07.739
he used to be on a lot of different avenues like

01:08:07.739 --> 01:08:10.340
that, and he has always looked to me like someone

01:08:10.340 --> 01:08:14.719
that needed a nut tap. He was, what, a gardener

01:08:14.719 --> 01:08:19.300
or something? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What? Yeah, yeah,

01:08:19.340 --> 01:08:22.720
he was like a... Like weather report, yeah. Yep.

01:08:24.300 --> 01:08:27.819
Also, I think he did turf. I don't know if it

01:08:27.819 --> 01:08:30.800
was arrowhead or royals or both or something

01:08:30.800 --> 01:08:33.859
like that. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, he was like a turf

01:08:33.859 --> 01:08:40.020
guy. All right, Rob, next. Okay, we're going

01:08:40.020 --> 01:08:42.739
to move on to the ass cheek bite. Sounds good

01:08:42.739 --> 01:08:51.899
to me. Number seven, Elton John. Oh, okay. He's

01:08:51.899 --> 01:08:53.359
going blind. He ain't going to see each other.

01:08:56.859 --> 01:08:59.800
Number six, I had to bump down the list because

01:08:59.800 --> 01:09:11.640
I got to look at it five times. Okay. Okay. I

01:09:11.640 --> 01:09:23.699
think that's awesome. All right. Be bony, but

01:09:23.699 --> 01:09:30.479
yeah. He's doing the chicken dance. You're right.

01:09:31.510 --> 01:09:37.130
Yeah, yeah. And by the way, this is kind of like

01:09:37.130 --> 01:09:40.390
my greatest of, because I went through all my

01:09:40.390 --> 01:09:43.930
other lists to pick out my favorites. I'd come

01:09:43.930 --> 01:09:46.069
up with a couple of new names, but I did recycle

01:09:46.069 --> 01:09:48.430
some of them that I did before, yes. Yeah, yeah.

01:09:49.909 --> 01:09:56.350
Number four, Rikishi, the WWE wrestler. Oh, okay.

01:09:56.890 --> 01:10:02.719
Yeah, I think once he hit that button. That'd

01:10:02.719 --> 01:10:05.739
be my best chance. You just get in there and

01:10:05.739 --> 01:10:13.260
bite. All right. I like that. Number three. I'm

01:10:13.260 --> 01:10:17.239
going with Uncle Cy Robertson from Duck Dynasty.

01:10:21.000 --> 01:10:23.140
I would love to see his reaction. I don't know

01:10:23.140 --> 01:10:28.439
what that dude would do. I got like ten things.

01:10:28.800 --> 01:10:32.680
Jump for one. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. For one, he'd

01:10:32.680 --> 01:10:37.300
be like... And he'd be all over the place. Oh,

01:10:37.500 --> 01:10:39.819
shit. Yeah, just don't let him go for his shotgun.

01:10:44.859 --> 01:10:47.579
That's why I'm moving on number two. Oh, okay.

01:10:49.539 --> 01:11:01.500
Ronnie Dangerfield. That would be classic. I

01:11:01.500 --> 01:11:03.039
tell you, I tell you, I don't get any respect.

01:11:03.220 --> 01:11:06.140
I don't get no respect. I get nut flaked or,

01:11:06.180 --> 01:11:09.199
no, no, no, ass cheek bit. I can see that right

01:11:09.199 --> 01:11:17.420
now. And my number one goes to Tasmanian Devil.

01:11:19.819 --> 01:11:23.539
Can you catch the little bastard? What? Well,

01:11:23.859 --> 01:11:26.720
Tasmanian Devil is pretty calm until you get

01:11:26.720 --> 01:11:30.020
him wound up, but what we get him wound up. Yeah.

01:11:30.020 --> 01:11:34.140
Biting him in the ass would do it. Alright. Sounds

01:11:34.140 --> 01:11:39.100
good to me, Rob. I like that list. Alright. Ass

01:11:39.100 --> 01:11:43.779
cheek bite for me. Number seven. Gary Busey.

01:11:45.300 --> 01:11:50.899
I just want to see his reaction. Oh, it'd be

01:11:50.899 --> 01:11:57.439
classic. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Number six. Axl Rose.

01:11:59.230 --> 01:12:01.850
Because he's always pissed off and angry. Why

01:12:01.850 --> 01:12:08.229
not do it? Make him angry again. Number five,

01:12:08.470 --> 01:12:15.869
Al Michaels, just because I love the guy. Number

01:12:15.869 --> 01:12:21.609
four, per guy, he's probably on blood thinners.

01:12:21.810 --> 01:12:26.130
He's probably on blood thinners and he'll bleed

01:12:26.130 --> 01:12:30.970
to death after I fang him. on his ass um number

01:12:30.970 --> 01:12:35.270
three morgan freeman just to hear his voice go

01:12:35.270 --> 01:12:41.649
what in the yep number two when i have no idea

01:12:41.649 --> 01:12:44.250
what she looks like these days but i've i've

01:12:44.250 --> 01:12:47.010
thought about it janet jackson just to see what

01:12:47.010 --> 01:12:50.770
it really looks like under there still not bad

01:12:50.770 --> 01:12:57.699
okay well hey we still have our nipple yet Oh,

01:12:59.399 --> 01:13:02.199
another nipple gate. Anyway, go ahead. All right,

01:13:02.220 --> 01:13:07.000
number one, Ben Stiller. Just because. Why not?

01:13:08.699 --> 01:13:16.819
I'm Ben Stiller. I would have considered him

01:13:16.819 --> 01:13:19.899
for a nipple yank. He'd be a great nipple yank,

01:13:19.939 --> 01:13:29.430
too. I think it would. I will give you that one.

01:13:29.529 --> 01:13:32.250
He's pretty animated. So, yeah, I think so. Yes,

01:13:32.250 --> 01:13:38.789
he is. Yeah. All right. We turn it over to Nipple

01:13:38.789 --> 01:13:45.829
Yank. Now we go to Nipple Yank. Yep. Number seven,

01:13:46.090 --> 01:13:51.430
Alanis Morissette. So she can write a whole album?

01:13:51.550 --> 01:13:58.789
I don't know how she's going to take it. wanted

01:13:58.789 --> 01:14:04.529
to. Or write an album about you. Hey, that'd

01:14:04.529 --> 01:14:07.909
be cool too. Then I'd get royalties. Oh no, Dave

01:14:07.909 --> 01:14:10.630
Coulier don't get any royalties, but anyhow.

01:14:11.189 --> 01:14:15.710
Yeah, you got a good point. I'm a nobody. Yeah.

01:14:17.010 --> 01:14:24.409
Okay, number six. Dr. Phil. I love that. You

01:14:24.409 --> 01:14:29.430
did last time too. Yep. Yeah, just watch him

01:14:29.430 --> 01:14:33.649
analyze me. I don't know why someone would do

01:14:33.649 --> 01:14:40.050
that. And I'm already out of the building. And

01:14:40.050 --> 01:14:43.010
number five, I'm going to go with Jakey Lee.

01:14:45.630 --> 01:14:48.090
When he's playing guitar or when he's just walking

01:14:48.090 --> 01:14:51.890
around? When he's walking around. All right.

01:15:05.570 --> 01:15:12.069
I could see him kind of like loving that in a

01:15:12.069 --> 01:15:25.109
way. Oh, yeah. That'd be a lot of subject line.

01:15:27.810 --> 01:15:35.560
Love it. stick with the man. I gotta try Travis

01:15:35.560 --> 01:15:40.819
Chelsea. I bet he has big, meaty nipples. What

01:15:40.819 --> 01:15:44.859
do you think? I think he's starting to get back

01:15:44.859 --> 01:15:48.460
in shape a little bit, so I might have my work

01:15:48.460 --> 01:15:51.560
cut out for me, but I'd still get a shot. Yeah,

01:15:51.560 --> 01:15:56.100
you know, I mean, just make sure there's a door

01:15:56.100 --> 01:15:58.220
that you can get behind and lock afterwards.

01:16:00.840 --> 01:16:05.380
I mean... Yeah, within spitting distance. I mean,

01:16:05.399 --> 01:16:08.479
he runs for a living. I don't know. Well, good

01:16:08.479 --> 01:16:16.060
luck on that one. Oh, you know what? You're right.

01:16:17.239 --> 01:16:21.619
You're right. I like that. Yeah, okay. I think

01:16:21.619 --> 01:16:31.979
that's a good one. You're a trooper, Rob. Crybaby

01:16:31.979 --> 01:16:44.359
Jeff Gordon. Yeah. Perfect. And, of course, number

01:16:44.359 --> 01:16:55.500
one, Elvira. Understandably. Understandably.

01:16:57.079 --> 01:17:01.630
All right. I love that list, Rob. My nipple yank.

01:17:03.289 --> 01:17:06.869
Number seven, Roger Daltrey. Because he couldn't

01:17:06.869 --> 01:17:11.390
see me or hear me. Right. Good point. Good point.

01:17:11.609 --> 01:17:17.189
Yeah, and I couldn't see me or hear me. I can't

01:17:17.189 --> 01:17:22.210
even do it. Okay. Number six, David Lee Roth.

01:17:22.630 --> 01:17:25.390
Just to see how far his nipples will stretch.

01:17:36.090 --> 01:17:38.689
You know he's coming by grinders in Kansas City?

01:17:40.210 --> 01:17:44.229
Really? Yeah, I saw the ad the other day. But,

01:17:44.270 --> 01:17:46.750
man, the tickets are a little pricey, but I don't

01:17:46.750 --> 01:17:48.569
know. It'll be the last time you ever get to

01:17:48.569 --> 01:17:51.770
see the guy, too. I'm considering it. Anyhow.

01:17:52.170 --> 01:17:56.750
He is a tourer. Yeah. I don't know how he got

01:17:56.750 --> 01:18:00.590
his voice back, but he did somehow. Yeah. When

01:18:00.590 --> 01:18:02.930
he opened up for Kiss, he had to step down because

01:18:02.930 --> 01:18:06.729
his voice was so bad. So, I don't know. All right.

01:18:07.229 --> 01:18:11.250
Number five, Eminem. So, he has new angry material

01:18:11.250 --> 01:18:15.949
to sing about. Awesome. Awesome. I love that.

01:18:15.970 --> 01:18:20.989
I don't know. Something like that. Okay. Number

01:18:20.989 --> 01:18:25.189
four, Willie Nelson. So, I can just say I did

01:18:25.189 --> 01:18:33.409
that to a legend. No, hell no. No, I'd be out

01:18:33.409 --> 01:18:40.149
of there. Yeah. Now, he is a redneck. He might

01:18:40.149 --> 01:18:44.350
shoot you. That's, yeah. Okay, maybe I'll pay

01:18:44.350 --> 01:18:48.010
someone to do it. If they get shot, well, it's

01:18:48.010 --> 01:18:53.829
not me, right? That'd be the best bet. All right,

01:18:53.890 --> 01:18:59.289
number three, Christopher Walken. That would

01:18:59.289 --> 01:19:02.319
be good. It would. I don't know why you would

01:19:02.319 --> 01:19:05.859
do that to me. My nipples now hurt. I can't do

01:19:05.859 --> 01:19:10.479
them. All right. Number two. Reba McIntyre. Just

01:19:10.479 --> 01:19:12.899
to see if her nipples really do feel like leather.

01:19:14.140 --> 01:19:18.819
Oh. Oh. Rob, you're going to love my number one.

01:19:20.680 --> 01:19:23.399
I love your number two. That was a good one.

01:19:23.500 --> 01:19:26.560
Oh, yeah. Reba getting old nipple stretch. Yep.

01:19:26.720 --> 01:19:31.789
All right. Number one. Brutus the Barber Beefcake.

01:19:32.229 --> 01:19:37.270
Just think about it. Hell yeah. Yeah. Hell yeah.

01:19:37.789 --> 01:19:42.989
His nipples used to get hard as hell. Yeah, it

01:19:42.989 --> 01:19:44.850
would be fun. I remember seeing him in the ring.

01:19:45.329 --> 01:19:49.529
Yep. Yeah, they stuck out there. They'd be an

01:19:49.529 --> 01:19:54.909
easy target. Yep. Yeah, that'd be another one.

01:19:54.909 --> 01:20:00.319
You do not want to get caught. Yep. That would

01:20:00.319 --> 01:20:04.279
be one. If I had a time machine or something,

01:20:04.340 --> 01:20:06.760
I'd go back in time in his prime, and I'd have

01:20:06.760 --> 01:20:08.279
the time machine right there. That way I could

01:20:08.279 --> 01:20:10.840
yank his nipple and then tear. And then I could

01:20:10.840 --> 01:20:12.880
watch the old footage of it when I get back to

01:20:12.880 --> 01:20:17.720
current time. Yeah. Yeah. You made history. Mm

01:20:17.720 --> 01:20:22.500
-hmm. Do it during a WrestleMania match or something.

01:20:22.859 --> 01:20:28.529
Nipple yank gate. I swallowed a piece of ice

01:20:28.529 --> 01:20:31.630
wrong. Why don't we take our second break while

01:20:31.630 --> 01:20:34.170
I try to live through this. Yeah, let's do that.

01:20:34.390 --> 01:20:44.430
All right. Be right back. Hey there, fuckstick.

01:20:45.029 --> 01:20:47.229
You're just in time for brand new feature news

01:20:47.229 --> 01:20:50.810
nobody gives a shit about. Every Model T that

01:20:50.810 --> 01:20:53.710
was ever manufactured was in the color black.

01:20:54.289 --> 01:20:58.920
Oh, shit. What's that over there? Oh, no. It's

01:20:58.920 --> 01:21:06.260
the island of horrible jokes. Did you know? French

01:21:06.260 --> 01:21:09.119
fries are not cooked in France. They're cooked

01:21:09.119 --> 01:22:01.250
in Greece. double mocha latte remember to not

01:22:01.250 --> 01:22:04.390
get your genitals caught in the grinder it really

01:22:04.390 --> 01:22:08.310
hurts and who can afford plastic surgery stay

01:22:08.310 --> 01:22:13.449
safe everyone next up things overheard in hell

01:22:13.449 --> 01:22:17.050
dishwater has the top 10 spots on double top

01:22:17.050 --> 01:22:25.449
100 jam x what the hell happened you were the

01:22:25.449 --> 01:22:37.329
generation of change for you fuck the man fuck

01:22:37.329 --> 01:22:42.270
the system what the hell happened the generation

01:22:42.270 --> 01:22:47.069
of angst the generation of non -compliance is

01:22:47.069 --> 01:22:50.670
now buying a boat you're really fed up to kill

01:22:50.670 --> 01:22:54.789
someone dangled a dollar near you great job xers

01:22:54.789 --> 01:23:06.699
everything's ruined Nob Lick is an unincorporated

01:23:06.699 --> 01:23:09.000
community in southern St. Francis County, Missouri,

01:23:09.260 --> 01:23:11.920
United States. It is located on Missouri Route

01:23:11.920 --> 01:23:15.380
DD, just east of U .S. Route 67, approximately

01:23:15.380 --> 01:23:18.159
8 miles south of Farmington, Missouri. Nob Lick

01:23:18.159 --> 01:23:21.560
has a post office with the zip code 63651, which

01:23:21.560 --> 01:23:24.840
has been in operation since 1870. The community

01:23:24.840 --> 01:23:27.079
takes its name from nearby Nob Lick Mountain.

01:23:27.319 --> 01:23:29.800
In the Ozarks, Nob typically refers to an isolated

01:23:29.800 --> 01:23:33.359
summit, and Wick is a natural salt lick or salt

01:23:33.359 --> 01:23:37.229
spring. The mountain runs across U .S. 67. Approximately

01:23:37.229 --> 01:23:39.810
80 acres of the summit are protected by the Missouri

01:23:39.810 --> 01:23:42.409
Department of Conservation. A gravel road leads

01:23:42.409 --> 01:23:44.609
to the conservation area, which includes a granite

01:23:44.609 --> 01:23:47.369
glade, picnic facilities, and a closed -fire

01:23:47.369 --> 01:23:50.989
lookout tower. 147 was the population reported

01:23:50.989 --> 01:23:55.329
in 2020. Your mama's so old, she was a waitress

01:23:55.329 --> 01:24:15.060
at the last supper. bags and a microphone. I'm

01:24:15.060 --> 01:24:19.300
Mark in the Kansas City area. And I am Robert.

01:24:19.579 --> 01:24:22.520
Beautiful. I am along the lake of the ocean.

01:24:22.960 --> 01:24:29.920
All right. I'm still having problems with that

01:24:29.920 --> 01:24:34.539
piece of ice. You want to go in? That is getting

01:24:34.539 --> 01:24:40.640
too easy. Do you want to go into our spice war

01:24:40.640 --> 01:24:45.720
that someone wrote in about? It was an email

01:24:45.720 --> 01:24:49.359
we had on the last podcast, and it was from Bev.

01:24:50.239 --> 01:24:55.659
Yep. All she gave was Bev. Yep. No. And it was

01:24:55.659 --> 01:25:01.680
a seven -spice battle. Mark came up with seven

01:25:01.680 --> 01:25:04.960
spices. I came up with seven spices. We're going

01:25:04.960 --> 01:25:07.039
to battle them against each other. And I'm just

01:25:07.039 --> 01:25:08.840
going to go down the order that I have them written

01:25:08.840 --> 01:25:16.699
down, okay? Yeah, well. First one I'd like to

01:25:16.699 --> 01:25:21.739
introduce at 275 pounds from Nashville, Georgia.

01:25:22.699 --> 01:25:37.180
Cayenne Pepper. Okay. Well, mine's coming from

01:25:37.180 --> 01:25:48.640
the Orient. Okay. Shezwan peppers, ooh. I think

01:25:48.640 --> 01:25:52.380
Shezwan's going to win that one, Rob. That shit

01:25:52.380 --> 01:26:01.819
is much hotter. Yep. All right, Shezwan it is.

01:26:02.020 --> 01:26:07.079
Yeah, that shit about killed me one time. Oh,

01:26:07.079 --> 01:26:11.609
that stuff, yeah. It's lethal. Coming in at a

01:26:11.609 --> 01:26:16.430
paltry 125 pounds, the all -time ultra -lightweight

01:26:16.430 --> 01:26:21.689
champion of the world from Cleveland, Tennessee.

01:26:23.649 --> 01:26:35.090
Garlic salt. Tennessee. Cleveland, Tennessee.

01:26:47.070 --> 01:26:51.229
Well... Well, table salt. Okay. Garlic salt.

01:26:51.829 --> 01:26:54.550
Salt is a part of garlic salt, but then you have

01:26:54.550 --> 01:26:58.170
garlic, too, which has a little zing to it, so

01:26:58.170 --> 01:26:59.909
I'm going to have to go with garlic salt on this

01:26:59.909 --> 01:27:07.430
one. Well, you add salt, you tame down the garlic.

01:27:08.350 --> 01:27:15.109
Hmm. Yeah. Okay. Regular salt one. Salt, it becomes

01:27:15.109 --> 01:27:19.279
salt. Okay. All right. I forgot to switch around.

01:27:19.380 --> 01:27:24.479
You're next. Sorry. That's all right. I'm kind

01:27:24.479 --> 01:27:29.899
of liking you taking the lead. Oh, yeah. Go ahead.

01:27:31.060 --> 01:27:39.420
Okay. I'm going to jump in with cinnamon. All

01:27:39.420 --> 01:27:43.619
right. Well, I'm going to go with sage. I'm going

01:27:43.619 --> 01:27:46.560
to go easy on this one. All right. Well, where

01:27:46.560 --> 01:27:48.859
is cinnamon from and how much does cinnamon weigh?

01:27:49.840 --> 01:27:56.579
I don't know. Okay. We'll say cinnamon is about

01:27:56.579 --> 01:28:05.960
$1 .45 from Lake of the Ozarks. Okay. I would

01:28:05.960 --> 01:28:12.420
like to introduce 6 '4", 325 pound, nothing but

01:28:12.420 --> 01:28:23.270
muscle from Neosho, Missouri. Sage! Okay, okay.

01:28:23.770 --> 01:28:27.649
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sage is a pretty mean little

01:28:27.649 --> 01:28:32.550
guy here. I'm going to have to go with Sage.

01:28:35.210 --> 01:28:41.569
Wow. Cinnamon's got that bone sensation. Yeah,

01:28:41.569 --> 01:28:46.720
but so does Sage. Oh, that's true. yeah yeah

01:28:46.720 --> 01:28:52.319
sage it's more yeah yeah it's more grab your

01:28:52.319 --> 01:28:59.640
screw yeah yep uh okay sage wins um next or no

01:28:59.640 --> 01:29:06.340
no it's my turn okay sorry um coming in at 224

01:29:06.340 --> 01:29:12.779
in um spandex and a headband doing his world

01:29:12.779 --> 01:29:18.399
-famous karate chop in the air. He is from Montreal,

01:29:18.560 --> 01:29:27.939
Canada, and his name is Lemon Pepper. Okay, well,

01:29:28.039 --> 01:29:38.800
coming in at a measly 135. Mm -hmm. From the

01:29:38.800 --> 01:29:54.880
hashtag. Or world. Okay. Cumin. Oh. Cumin is

01:29:54.880 --> 01:30:01.939
kind of bland, though, isn't it? Yeah, but the

01:30:01.939 --> 01:30:07.239
taste is overpowering. Okay. Lemon pepper tastes

01:30:07.239 --> 01:30:11.520
good and is kind of nice. Okay. Well, yeah, yeah.

01:30:11.840 --> 01:30:16.819
I don't know. I mean, if you think about it.

01:30:16.880 --> 01:30:27.300
Should we consult Topher? I mean, cumin is used

01:30:27.300 --> 01:30:32.979
in Mexican food, Indian food. Okay. All right.

01:30:33.020 --> 01:30:35.220
Lemon pepper is good on steaks, and I don't know

01:30:35.220 --> 01:30:40.359
what else. Okay. All right. Cumin wins. Indian

01:30:40.359 --> 01:30:44.180
food is some of the hottest there is. Yeah, it

01:30:44.180 --> 01:30:59.300
is. All right. All right. I'm coming in from

01:30:59.300 --> 01:31:06.319
good old Dixie. I'm going to go with Carolina

01:31:06.319 --> 01:31:17.020
Reaper Chili Powder. Oh. Coming in at 190 pounds,

01:31:17.140 --> 01:31:26.260
wearing a loincloth and a face mask. He is originally

01:31:26.260 --> 01:31:32.659
from, damn it, I'm trying to think of the name,

01:31:32.760 --> 01:31:45.589
Bodark, Missouri. And his name is Paprika. Yeah,

01:31:45.589 --> 01:31:49.930
cayenne. Or not cayenne, but Carolina Reaper.

01:31:51.770 --> 01:31:57.930
Yeah. I mean, paprika couldn't even get near

01:31:57.930 --> 01:32:02.390
Carolina Reaper. It would just melt, so. All

01:32:02.390 --> 01:32:11.710
right. All I have left here is coming in at...

01:32:11.710 --> 01:32:15.239
Yeah, I got two of them. Oh, you do? What did

01:32:15.239 --> 01:32:23.279
I not use here? You used sage, lemon pepper,

01:32:23.560 --> 01:32:28.220
paprika, cayenne pepper, and garlic salt. Oh,

01:32:28.220 --> 01:32:31.079
okay. You're right. You're right. Okay. Coming

01:32:31.079 --> 01:32:38.619
in at 324 pounds, he likes walks on the beach.

01:32:39.020 --> 01:32:42.079
He likes surprise presents and pop -up bars.

01:32:42.720 --> 01:32:53.319
His name is Black Pepper. Okay. Well, coming

01:32:53.319 --> 01:33:01.300
in at 254 pounds for his second round in this

01:33:01.300 --> 01:33:09.619
competition, I'm going with Cayenne Pepper. He

01:33:09.619 --> 01:33:13.310
was on my list. Okay. No, that's cool. I get

01:33:13.310 --> 01:33:19.250
it. I think Cayenne's got to win that one. And

01:33:19.250 --> 01:33:30.350
who was he facing? Onion powder. Yeah. Okay.

01:33:31.369 --> 01:33:36.890
All right. Coming in at... Wait a minute. Did

01:33:36.890 --> 01:33:41.630
I do the last one? I lost track here. Okay. It's

01:33:41.630 --> 01:33:47.630
my turn. Okay. Okay, and for our final round.

01:33:47.909 --> 01:33:58.270
Okay. I'm bringing in a bad boy from overseas.

01:33:58.890 --> 01:34:08.289
Uh -oh. Jamaican jerk. Ooh, nice. Nice, nice,

01:34:08.310 --> 01:34:18.609
nice. Coming in at 425 pounds, 6 '7". He likes

01:34:18.609 --> 01:34:22.770
to wear muscle shirts, and he likes to wear leather

01:34:22.770 --> 01:34:25.770
gloves, so when he chokes you, he won't leave

01:34:25.770 --> 01:34:29.909
fingerprints. And his name is Ghost Pepper. Okay,

01:34:29.909 --> 01:34:37.869
Samson, don't count. Sorry. That's fine. He's

01:34:37.869 --> 01:34:40.130
from Houston, Texas, and he don't take any shit.

01:34:40.170 --> 01:34:50.369
His name is Ghost Pepper. Oh. I'm going to have

01:34:50.369 --> 01:34:56.909
to go with Ghost. Actually, I think I am going

01:34:56.909 --> 01:34:59.850
to have to go with Ghost. Because at one point,

01:34:59.949 --> 01:35:04.000
Ghost was the hottest. Until Carolina Reaper

01:35:04.000 --> 01:35:10.079
took it over. Yeah, right. All right. You know

01:35:10.079 --> 01:35:13.119
what? Ronnie and Tulsa, thank you. That was pretty

01:35:13.119 --> 01:35:15.380
cool, wasn't it? That was Bev. Oh, that was Bev.

01:35:15.439 --> 01:35:19.560
Sorry. I'm out of it tonight. I'm sorry. Okay.

01:35:19.640 --> 01:35:22.140
I think I still have a hangover from the cruise.

01:35:22.239 --> 01:35:27.180
I'm not for sure. Sorry about that. Jet lag.

01:35:27.560 --> 01:35:30.720
Jet lag. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh. Speaking of jet

01:35:30.720 --> 01:35:32.539
lag, you want to hear something here real quick?

01:35:32.600 --> 01:35:36.979
And this is the truth, okay? I time traveled

01:35:36.979 --> 01:35:39.979
the other night, Rob, on a plane. You know why?

01:35:41.539 --> 01:35:44.380
Why? When we left Miami, it was close to 10 at

01:35:44.380 --> 01:35:47.260
night. I was looking over the flight time at

01:35:47.260 --> 01:35:49.840
500 miles per hour, and that put us in extreme

01:35:49.840 --> 01:35:53.560
eastern Tennessee at midnight. Soon after, we

01:35:53.560 --> 01:35:56.420
flew into central time, and then right before

01:35:56.420 --> 01:35:59.619
we landed at KCI, it turned midnight. Therefore,

01:35:59.819 --> 01:36:04.760
we did two different days. We time traveled backwards

01:36:04.760 --> 01:36:08.279
to Kansas City. When we celebrated in eastern

01:36:08.279 --> 01:36:11.239
Tennessee, we celebrated midnight and the next

01:36:11.239 --> 01:36:14.579
day. Then we went back to the day before when

01:36:14.579 --> 01:36:17.760
we hit central time. And then we went back to

01:36:17.760 --> 01:36:20.560
the current day after midnight when we landed.

01:36:21.119 --> 01:36:27.140
So that means we officially time traveled. Yeah.

01:36:27.340 --> 01:36:31.140
There you go. Yeah. Yep. I'm proud of myself.

01:36:31.460 --> 01:36:33.500
I said one day I wanted to time travel, and I

01:36:33.500 --> 01:36:36.539
did. When there's a will, there's a way, Rob.

01:36:36.680 --> 01:36:39.180
When there's a will, there's a way. Always. Yes.

01:36:39.619 --> 01:36:44.939
All right, Rob, we turn it back to you. Okay,

01:36:44.979 --> 01:36:48.199
I've got one of my crazy office stories. Love

01:36:48.199 --> 01:36:56.619
them. Okay. The brother of a South Carolina petting

01:36:56.619 --> 01:36:59.859
zoo owner was apparently... beaten to death by

01:36:59.859 --> 01:37:04.460
a kangaroo after possibly going into the Aussie

01:37:04.460 --> 01:37:08.680
animal pen to roughhouse with it, authorities

01:37:08.680 --> 01:37:14.779
said. I think he lost. I think he lost. Eric

01:37:14.779 --> 01:37:20.100
Schleich's body was discovered inside the facility

01:37:20.100 --> 01:37:23.680
just before midnight on Friday night at Five

01:37:23.680 --> 01:37:27.760
Star Farm near Loras. about 30 miles north of

01:37:27.760 --> 01:37:32.979
Muggle Beach. Flight 52 had a history of stepping

01:37:32.979 --> 01:37:36.920
into the kangaroo enclosure and roughhousing

01:37:36.920 --> 01:37:41.880
with it, which is what was happening at the time

01:37:41.880 --> 01:37:51.119
of his death. It just went south, he said. And

01:37:51.119 --> 01:37:56.000
this is the brother speaking. The kangaroo was

01:37:56.000 --> 01:37:59.079
still in the enclosure at the family -owned farm

01:37:59.079 --> 01:38:02.439
when Slate's body was found. The farm recently

01:38:02.439 --> 01:38:05.880
posted a picture of a large red kangaroo named

01:38:05.880 --> 01:38:10.500
Mr. Jack, adding he loves neck scratches and

01:38:10.500 --> 01:38:17.159
will take treats from your hands. It's not clear

01:38:17.159 --> 01:38:20.800
which animal killed Slate, but he was found with

01:38:20.800 --> 01:38:26.539
multiple blunt force injuries. Adult male red

01:38:26.539 --> 01:38:30.500
-caged roos can weigh nearly 200 pounds and grow

01:38:30.500 --> 01:38:34.479
up to 5 foot 11 inches with powerful feet for

01:38:34.479 --> 01:38:39.560
kicking. In 2022, an elderly man was killed by

01:38:39.560 --> 01:38:43.000
his pet kangaroo in West Australia, but that

01:38:43.000 --> 01:38:47.060
was believed to be the first time a roo killed

01:38:47.060 --> 01:38:54.779
a person in 90 years in the country. Wow. Okay.

01:38:54.920 --> 01:38:58.979
Okay. Anybody who knows anything about kangaroos,

01:38:59.060 --> 01:39:01.960
you know they are badasses. Yes. Why would you

01:39:01.960 --> 01:39:04.699
fuck with them? Okay, okay, that's what I was

01:39:04.699 --> 01:39:06.760
going to ask. It said he was rough -assing with

01:39:06.760 --> 01:39:10.560
it. Yeah, yeah, he was rough -housing. Okay,

01:39:10.579 --> 01:39:12.779
well then, you know what, I mean... I can't say

01:39:12.779 --> 01:39:17.659
that. My ex -mother -in -law had a cat. Uh -huh.

01:39:17.720 --> 01:39:20.760
It weighed about 500 pounds. I'd go out to the

01:39:20.760 --> 01:39:23.500
farmhouse and wrestle with it. Well, here's...

01:39:23.500 --> 01:39:27.239
Goddamn kangaroo, that's something to beat you

01:39:27.239 --> 01:39:30.680
to death. Yeah, that was a dumb idea, and it

01:39:30.680 --> 01:39:32.420
cost him his life. But here's what I'm saying

01:39:32.420 --> 01:39:34.500
is, the animal probably didn't even try to kill

01:39:34.500 --> 01:39:37.060
him. They have so much power in their legs and

01:39:37.060 --> 01:39:39.880
their fists. You know, if he's over there smacking

01:39:39.880 --> 01:39:42.279
it around, and it probably played back, but,

01:39:42.300 --> 01:39:44.000
you know, it doesn't know its strength. It's

01:39:44.000 --> 01:39:49.220
a kangaroo. Well, what I'm thinking is, it's

01:39:49.220 --> 01:39:52.380
leading there was multiple kangaroos in here.

01:39:53.159 --> 01:39:57.100
I'm wondering if he was mistakenly thinking he

01:39:57.100 --> 01:39:59.579
was with one kangaroo and he was with the other.

01:40:00.920 --> 01:40:06.520
Could be. Well, I mean, we're not going to know,

01:40:06.640 --> 01:40:09.939
but I mean, I do think, don't you think that

01:40:09.939 --> 01:40:12.000
the kangaroos probably did not try to kill him?

01:40:12.039 --> 01:40:17.260
It just happened? Yeah, I think he just died

01:40:17.260 --> 01:40:25.710
of a heart attack. Okay. All right, cool. Very

01:40:25.710 --> 01:40:30.590
cool. Very cool. Do you want to shut this shit

01:40:30.590 --> 01:40:36.649
show down or you want to keep going? Okay, cool.

01:40:38.090 --> 01:40:43.550
I've got a pretty little article here, Rob. Okay,

01:40:43.609 --> 01:40:47.210
this is how to tell if someone's a liar. This

01:40:47.210 --> 01:40:49.550
one word will tell you for sure, according to

01:40:49.550 --> 01:40:53.850
a trial lawyer. Hearing someone say one word

01:40:53.850 --> 01:40:56.369
will help you determine if you can trust what

01:40:56.369 --> 01:41:00.390
they're saying or not. Now, this is a trial lawyer,

01:41:00.670 --> 01:41:07.350
if I can say that right, lawyer, that he would

01:41:07.350 --> 01:41:10.069
know about body language and words and stuff

01:41:10.069 --> 01:41:12.949
like that, right? So, on a recent episode of

01:41:12.949 --> 01:41:17.770
the podcast Diary of a CEO, which sounds boring

01:41:17.770 --> 01:41:22.520
as hell to me, but whatever, Trial lawyer Jefferson

01:41:22.520 --> 01:41:26.960
Fisher revealed one -word liars that often use

01:41:26.960 --> 01:41:31.159
this word, and he calls it a dead giveaway, and

01:41:31.159 --> 01:41:36.239
the tactic to get them confessed. The top debater

01:41:36.239 --> 01:41:38.779
shared that when people are trying to hide the

01:41:38.779 --> 01:41:42.000
truth, they often rely on absolutes like never

01:41:42.000 --> 01:41:46.340
or always. Liars are sneaky, but knowing to listen

01:41:46.340 --> 01:41:48.380
for this one word will help you determine if

01:41:48.380 --> 01:41:50.949
someone is being truthful or not. To demonstrate

01:41:50.949 --> 01:41:53.090
his point, Jefferson walked listeners through

01:41:53.090 --> 01:41:56.270
a scenario. When he asked Stephen to pose the

01:41:56.270 --> 01:42:00.470
question, were you texting while you were driving

01:42:00.470 --> 01:42:03.409
that day? Jefferson responded, no, I never text.

01:42:03.489 --> 01:42:07.010
Never text when I drive. Notice I said a big

01:42:07.010 --> 01:42:11.449
word. I said never. Never is an extreme. Extremes

01:42:11.449 --> 01:42:13.350
are a dead giveaway because they're usually not

01:42:13.350 --> 01:42:16.250
telling the truth, Jefferson said. Everybody

01:42:16.250 --> 01:42:18.630
texts when they drive at some point in time,

01:42:18.710 --> 01:42:21.500
and I agree with that. even in your car, never

01:42:21.500 --> 01:42:27.199
and always, it's always or never true. And that

01:42:27.199 --> 01:42:29.619
is one of the biggest ones he could say. He also

01:42:29.619 --> 01:42:32.279
said that liars often respond to questions really

01:42:32.279 --> 01:42:34.619
quickly, which shows that they didn't actually

01:42:34.619 --> 01:42:37.979
contemplate the question that they were asked

01:42:37.979 --> 01:42:41.779
to and to remember something. To catch a liar,

01:42:41.939 --> 01:42:44.500
Jefferson advises people to slowly repeat the

01:42:44.500 --> 01:42:46.899
question they're asking, because most likely

01:42:46.899 --> 01:42:49.239
the person will retract their original statement.

01:42:49.600 --> 01:42:51.819
And I've done that before, and I think you probably

01:42:51.819 --> 01:42:56.020
have too, right? Yeah. Okay. They'll say, well,

01:42:56.140 --> 01:42:59.100
I mean sometimes I do, or because now they hinge

01:42:59.100 --> 01:43:01.819
on that word never, Jefferson said, which is

01:43:01.819 --> 01:43:04.760
an absolute. And it turns out that lying could

01:43:04.760 --> 01:43:07.600
affect your mental health. A study online was

01:43:07.600 --> 01:43:10.140
conducted by researchers at the University of

01:43:10.140 --> 01:43:13.899
the Netherlands. The team asked participants

01:43:13.899 --> 01:43:16.500
to keep track of their lie -in for a day. The

01:43:16.500 --> 01:43:18.939
findings revealed that 22 % of people told a

01:43:18.939 --> 01:43:21.979
self -centered lie, 8 % told a lie to protect

01:43:21.979 --> 01:43:26.479
another person, and 69 % reported not lying that

01:43:26.479 --> 01:43:29.500
day. The researchers discovered that the lying

01:43:29.500 --> 01:43:32.239
participants had lower self -esteem compared

01:43:32.239 --> 01:43:36.119
to those who told the truth. Participants who

01:43:36.119 --> 01:43:38.899
were asked to recall a situation in which they

01:43:38.899 --> 01:43:42.140
lied reported to have experienced lower self

01:43:42.140 --> 01:43:44.640
-esteem after the situation compared with participants

01:43:44.640 --> 01:43:47.399
who asked to recall a situation in which they

01:43:47.399 --> 01:43:51.979
did not lie that the team reported. Yeah, of

01:43:51.979 --> 01:43:58.979
course. I think lying and low self -esteem and

01:43:58.979 --> 01:44:02.460
all of that go together. Because I think that

01:44:02.460 --> 01:44:05.279
a lot of times people lie. I think this guy's

01:44:05.279 --> 01:44:09.180
dead on. A lot of times people lie is to make

01:44:09.180 --> 01:44:13.020
themselves look better, right? I will agree with

01:44:13.020 --> 01:44:15.979
you on that. I will. And why would you want to

01:44:15.979 --> 01:44:17.699
make yourself look better? Because you don't

01:44:17.699 --> 01:44:22.399
feel adequate. So I think that that guy is extremely

01:44:22.399 --> 01:44:32.020
right. So, Rob, we turn to you. A Cybertruck

01:44:32.020 --> 01:44:35.060
owner says that the 10 -year -old kid at his

01:44:35.060 --> 01:44:38.619
son's baseball practice initially thought his

01:44:38.619 --> 01:44:42.239
Cybertruck was the coolest vehicle. However,

01:44:42.260 --> 01:44:45.199
their excitement faded and they started to point

01:44:45.199 --> 01:44:48.039
and laugh after the Cybertruck had to be towed

01:44:48.039 --> 01:44:55.819
on a flatbed. Ernest was in a calling. A Cybertruck

01:44:55.819 --> 01:45:00.680
owner from Ohio. States that 28 children laughed

01:45:00.680 --> 01:45:03.680
at a Cybertruck after a minor problem resulted

01:45:03.680 --> 01:45:07.500
in it being towed on a flatbed. The owner says

01:45:07.500 --> 01:45:10.699
the children were initially cheering the Cybertruck,

01:45:10.819 --> 01:45:15.439
but their enthusiasm turned to skepticism when

01:45:15.439 --> 01:45:18.039
the truck experienced an issue that rendered

01:45:18.039 --> 01:45:23.180
it undriveable. Yeah, you got to hear what happened.

01:45:23.340 --> 01:45:27.359
Okay. The issue began when Ernest drove his 10

01:45:27.359 --> 01:45:31.060
-year -old son to a baseball match in a Cybertruck.

01:45:31.520 --> 01:45:35.239
Ernie placed his son's baseball gear in the front

01:45:35.239 --> 01:45:42.539
trunk, which they call the frunk. However, they

01:45:42.539 --> 01:45:47.020
arrived at the field and the frunk wouldn't open.

01:45:50.600 --> 01:45:53.779
This is quite frustrating. However, the Cybertruck

01:45:53.779 --> 01:45:57.140
owner and father stated he was prepared to drive

01:45:57.140 --> 01:46:01.000
40 minutes back home to fetch a replacement glove

01:46:01.000 --> 01:46:05.680
for his son. Regrettably, despite his willingness

01:46:05.680 --> 01:46:11.100
to make the sacrifice to support his child, Ernest

01:46:11.100 --> 01:46:14.739
states that the Cybertruck detected an issue

01:46:14.739 --> 01:46:21.039
with the front and went into limp mode. Oh boy.

01:46:21.840 --> 01:46:25.159
This is where the truck limits the top speed

01:46:25.159 --> 01:46:31.060
at 15 miles an hour. And besides repositioning

01:46:31.060 --> 01:46:34.479
the vehicle to be towed, there is nothing the

01:46:34.479 --> 01:46:40.239
owner can really do. Yeah. At this point, Ernest

01:46:40.239 --> 01:46:43.260
says he was so frustrated that he briefly considered

01:46:43.260 --> 01:46:47.180
tying a rope around the trunk to make it into

01:46:47.180 --> 01:46:53.579
a tree and yanking the trunk open. Wow. Yeah,

01:46:53.819 --> 01:47:00.319
that's all it took. You cannot get the Trump

01:47:00.319 --> 01:47:10.380
door open. So it pretty much shuts it down. Wow.

01:47:11.319 --> 01:47:14.439
I've heard of other stories. I've heard other

01:47:14.439 --> 01:47:18.220
stories like that too, Rob. I mean... And whenever

01:47:18.220 --> 01:47:21.300
it deems itself no longer relevant, I guess,

01:47:21.340 --> 01:47:24.979
or outdated, it drives itself to a junkyard?

01:47:27.439 --> 01:47:32.939
I'm not kidding. Yeah. I wouldn't own one. Would

01:47:32.939 --> 01:47:39.380
you? Yeah. Yep. Besides, I don't like the Cybertrucks

01:47:39.380 --> 01:47:42.739
anyhow. I think they're ugly as sin on a Sunday.

01:47:44.220 --> 01:47:49.039
So. Yeah, I mean, come on. The only color they

01:47:49.039 --> 01:47:53.699
come stainless. Yeah, yep. I have never seen

01:47:53.699 --> 01:47:57.060
a color on one. I don't think they do colors

01:47:57.060 --> 01:47:58.399
on them. I think that's why they're all that

01:47:58.399 --> 01:48:00.619
ugly gray stainless kind of look. Yeah, they're

01:48:00.619 --> 01:48:09.180
stainless. Yeah, wow. We have one here in town.

01:48:12.170 --> 01:48:14.369
You know what? I mean, not my flavor, but a lot

01:48:14.369 --> 01:48:19.050
of people like them. So, okay, whatever. I know.

01:48:19.390 --> 01:48:28.729
I mean, to me, if you have a Cybertruck, I think

01:48:28.729 --> 01:48:32.770
it is something that you want to show off and

01:48:32.770 --> 01:48:35.909
not necessarily a practical vehicle. You're not

01:48:35.909 --> 01:48:38.210
looking at it like, hey, I can save gas money

01:48:38.210 --> 01:48:41.300
because I own this. You have it just so you can

01:48:41.300 --> 01:48:44.100
go around and go, hey, look at my Cybertruck.

01:48:44.220 --> 01:48:49.340
Isn't that cool? Wow. Yeah. I mean, I don't think

01:48:49.340 --> 01:48:52.359
they're doing it to help the environment. So

01:48:52.359 --> 01:48:54.600
anyone that owns it, I mean, maybe there are

01:48:54.600 --> 01:48:57.359
some people, but I would say generally it's for

01:48:57.359 --> 01:49:09.979
bragging rights. All right. Rob, it is 948. And

01:49:09.979 --> 01:49:12.640
I'm still on overtime, so I'm going to be getting

01:49:12.640 --> 01:49:15.659
up early. All righty. Rob, thank you for joining

01:49:15.659 --> 01:49:19.239
us once again. Thank you, assholes, for listening.

01:49:19.319 --> 01:49:22.859
We really appreciate it. You guys have been tuning

01:49:22.859 --> 01:49:25.100
in pretty damn good and pretty solid. We have

01:49:25.100 --> 01:49:27.899
a really good bass that always tunes in, and

01:49:27.899 --> 01:49:31.180
then we have people that check in. But our bass

01:49:31.180 --> 01:49:34.199
is growing, and that's what we want to do. You

01:49:34.199 --> 01:49:37.319
want your bass listeners to keep listening. Every

01:49:37.319 --> 01:49:39.560
time you put one out like they do, they download

01:49:39.560 --> 01:49:42.460
it, they have it sent to their inbox or whatever.

01:49:42.840 --> 01:49:45.119
We have a pretty good number of people that are

01:49:45.119 --> 01:49:47.920
our base listeners. And we're all the time reaching

01:49:47.920 --> 01:49:50.260
out in extreme areas and getting other people.

01:49:50.359 --> 01:49:53.579
So if a couple of them stick, our base just keeps

01:49:53.579 --> 01:49:56.000
growing. And we appreciate you guys and thank

01:49:56.000 --> 01:49:58.159
you for listening. And good night, assholes.

01:50:03.020 --> 01:50:06.539
Oh, no. Looks like the show's over, kids. Mark

01:50:06.539 --> 01:50:09.600
has explosive diarrhea and can't afford a wireless

01:50:09.600 --> 01:50:13.239
mic. Fear not, assholes. They'll be back invading

01:50:13.239 --> 01:50:14.180
your ear holes soon.