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Here at Two Douchebags and a Microphone, we don't
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and assume we got the story wrong. At least we
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This led to the adoption of fingerprint identification.
Jam X. What the hell happened? You were the generation
of change. You never wanted to be one of them.
Apathy spoke for you. Fuck the man. Fuck the
system. What the hell happened? The generation
of angst? The generation of non -compliance?
Is now buying a boat? You're really fed up to
kill someone who dangled a dollar near you? Great
job, Xers. Everything's ruined. Your mama's so
fat, she makes Godzilla look like an etching
figure. Hey there, fuckstick. You're just in
time for brand new feature news nobody gives
a shit about. A woman in California attempted
to steal a truck in front of the CVS store. She
jumped in the truck and tried to operate a manual
transmission. She couldn't figure out how, so
all she did was tie up traffic and get herself
caught. Somewhere in the heavens, your great
Grammy Gertrude is crying because her little
Bebo is listening to this film. To Douchebag's
microphone, I am in the Kansas City edition of
this program, and my name is Mark. What the hell
happened? How come you're not so beautiful now?
I mean, every other time it's the beautiful Niangua
arm of Lake of the Ozarks. So what happened?
I don't know if anybody's read on the news or
anything, but we had a tornado go through here
earlier today. Well, I actually knew it. I saw
it. And that was the first thing I said to you.
I knew you knew. Well, we were wondering up here
about the weather, too, because we were right
on the edge of it. And they were like, you know,
we don't think anything's going to happen, but
it could. You know, it just depended on where
that warm front was going to set camp. But we
were lucky it set camp just to the south of us,
but not so lucky for you guys. So you got the
brunt of it. No, I was talking about the one
to the north hit Columbia, Missouri. They thought
it was going to hit Jeff City. Oh, that one would
have been up around the Duke. Oh, you might ask
the Duke about it because it was headed for Jeff
City and then it took a turn to the north instead
of more to the east. He's up in Ashland, which
is like four or five miles south of Columbia.
Oh, he was right in the path of it. Well, I think
you need to talk to the Duke when we get off
of here. I will. Well, it'll be too late. He
has a new grandbaby, by the way. Oh, congratulations,
the Duke. The Duke had a new grandbaby born this
week. Cool. Very cool. Congratulations, Callie,
my niece. Awesome. Awesome. Go ahead. And you
see this massive tornado going across, literally
back behind the building. Yeah, they were saying
it was a pretty good -sized one. This tornado
appeared to be tracking across the northern part
of Ha Ha Tonka State Park. Wow, that's so close
to you. Yeah, yeah. I mean, right. Yeah, that
thing could have easily come over me. Yeah, wow.
You know, this thrift store. Wow. Wow. Was it
tense, or did you know what was going on when
it was going on? No, actually, the sirens went
off. I heard the sirens. I had my front door
open. But then I called my daughter, and she
was out by Honolulu Tonka at church this morning.
And they drove through this, coming back home.
I'm glad they made it okay, geez. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, they let the boys go home, get a sugar
rush, and they all took naps. Yeah, I bet you're
glad you're in a bunker. Oh, yeah, you're just
like, hey, I'm in a bunker, let it run. He's
still in the living room. Oh, right. That's cool.
No, actually, the storm that we got later this
afternoon ended up being worse. Yeah. Yeah, in
front of the line of the storms, the squall line
or whatever, if you will, where the actual front
is, were supercells that were developing out
in front of it. And that's what the tornado was
spawned out of, from what I understand. I was
watching Fox Weather Channel quite a bit and
watching some of the information come across
on it because I knew it was down there near you
when I went online. I have this thing that informs
me about inclement weather, and it said it was
down in the Camden County area. And I said, oh,
shit, Camden County is, yeah, Camden. Yeah. So
we actually got tornado warnings over our phones.
Yeah, you're supposed to. It's by rotation. But
by the time this picture was taken, it was full
-fledged. Yeah, there's different... All through
the day, I've seen different pictures of it.
And it actually, I guess, touched down in Osage
Beach at one point from what I hear. I don't
know. Yeah, it's nice up here, too. That's the
way it always goes. Well, my friend... Wow. Well,
we just got some thunderstorms. Okay. Wow. Well,
I'm glad everything is good down there. You know,
real quick, I got a story. I got a story about
this. Like you said, everything was all nice
and everything. My friend Dave, and he may listen.
I think I saw a hit or two from Stockton, Missouri,
where he lives. I used to work with him. I know
him a long time. Really good guy. And he lived
in Freeman, Missouri at the time. And his girlfriend,
he was just dating her at the time, and she lived
in New York City. She called him up and said,
Dave, there's a tornado right on you. Take cover.
What? It's sunny outside. And there was. It hit
the oil tanks. Do you remember when that tornado
hit the oil tanks back in the early 2000s? Yeah,
I do. Yeah, I do. He lives just to the east of
them, not even a mile to the east of them, on
a gravel road. At the time he did. Now he lives
in Stockton. He looks outside. Everything's clear.
And he's like, I don't think so. Are you sure
they said Freeman, Missouri? She said, yes. It
went through Freeman, Missouri, and then he got
out. He looked around. He saw the oil tanks all
dented up. And he's like, you know what? You
were correct. He didn't even know it. He had
no idea there. You know, there aren't any sirens
outside of town there because that's just outside
of town. He couldn't you know, he couldn't hear
him out there and out in the country. There's
no sirens. I mean, so, yeah, that's kind of like
the same thing. And I know a lot of other people
like another friend of mine I worked at. He was
in Pleasant Hill working another place when he
was a lot younger. And it come by, and it took
the top off a steel company. He said they're
in there welding. He said all of a sudden, everything
got real bright. They looked up, and they could
see sunshine. The tornado took the roof off of
that building while they were working. Honestly,
honestly, that could happen where I work, because
we work in what they call Tornado Alley. There's
a stretch that cuts across. runs up just south
of 54 highway kind of like they're known for
run along like i -70 or 50 yeah they like i -44
i -44 is a big hub for them they run off and
it's weird a lot of tornadoes run off the sides
of highways yes but which is where i live is
54 well where i worked just a few years well
about Mm -hmm. I remember that. Yeah. Wow. Well,
I mean... Anyone that lives in the parts that
get tornadoes regularly, like South Central Missouri
does, tornadoes end up here, too. They take certain
tracks. They repeat themselves. They like certain
paths. It's like one of them carves a path and
the rest of them follows it. And if you're in
a path, you're probably certainly going to get
another one. It's just a matter of time. And
that's just the way they travel. Something has
to do with... the contour of the land, a bunch
of things, because tornadoes need to get their
energy from not being broke up by mountains or
hills. Right, right, right. Like you said, okay,
I mentioned that tornado alley, what I call south
of me, I don't know what the hell it is. You
and I both know what it is. Compasses don't even
know where they're at. Yeah, because the lake
has got so much shoreline. Who the hell knows?
But you also mentioned one to the north of me.
Mm -hmm. Upper, like, Sunrise Beach, Versailles.
That's another tornado alley. Yeah, one hit Columbia.
One hit Columbia. That's what I was talking about.
There's one to your south and one to the north.
You didn't know about the north one, but I did.
Okay, north was further up, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Columbia was... Okay. Everything you just mentioned,
that tornado was like going through Versailles,
that whole area in there and up towards Columbia.
So, and that's where the Duke lives and we're
certain that the Duke is okay. Yeah. Okay. Well,
we hope he didn't get any damage or anything
and everybody's intact and good. So we, you know,
we love the Duke here. The Duke is our number
one favorite person in the whole world to do
specs. Actually, make sure they're okay. That
would be a good idea. Yes. So, you know, this
just reminds me of something, Rob. Okay. Did
you ever have this happen as a child? Okay. Tornado
warnings. And they tell you to get in the basement.
I'm talking about your mom and dad, right? You
get in the basement, and then they never do.
We didn't have a basement. Oh. We didn't have
a basement. Okay. Well, we did. All our childhood
homes pretty much had basements. And my parents
would go, get in the basement so i get in the
basement and they would stay upstairs and i'm
like like i kept going up there and peeking my
head out and i and i go you guys want me a fucking
orphan you want me to be an orphan is that it
you know i'm like i'm down here how come you
guys aren't down shut up get back in the basement
yes we can look at this thing you can't you'll
probably do something stupid like you'll go outside
Yeah, that was it. I told you so, and that's
it. You can't argue with that. Oh, no. You did
not argue with that. If you did, you got your
ass beat. Oh, I almost got my ass beat because
I looked at my, and I didn't even mean to cuss.
I was pretty young. I go, do you want me to be
a fucking orphan? And they both turn around,
you know, head snap. I'm like, oh, shit. I'll
be in the basement if anyone needs me. Got back
down there. So I have some bad news. You cannot
record podcasts on cruise ships anymore. Oh,
really? Yes. They're getting tired of people
getting footage of things going on because most
podcasts are videocasts now. People are going
in there and they're getting secret footage of
things that happens and stuff like that. So if
they catch you podcasting, they kick you off
at the next port. But in the meantime, you sit
in their jail. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Update. I just
got a text from the Duke. Yep. We had questionable
weather, but no tornado. I think all the real
bad stuff hit northeast of us. Okay, good. Good.
Yeah. That's good to hear. Okay. Yeah, that's
good to hear. Yeah. Back to the podcast. Okay.
All right. I got a few things I want to go over
here real quick. Hang on a minute. i dropped
my glasses which is never good um okay uh ky102
has a time capsule buried did you know that yes
oh you did know that okay you're on their fan
page right so you knew that okay at the boulevard
drive -in evidently no one that used to work
at ky knew about this but the the drive -in had
a record of it and it's going to be open april
26th I can't wait to see what's inside it. Can
you? I mean, that's going to be something else.
There's going to be like, I think it's from 1976.
Is that what it said? Something like that? Was
it that old? I thought. I thought I remembered.
I think I remember listening. You're an invariant.
I might have, you know, I can't say whether I
did or not. Yeah, I know it's old. Well, of course
it's old. Okay, I thought it said 19, I thought
someone made the comment, yeah, it was from 1986.
If I'm wrong, forgive me. 76, 76. Okay. 76. I
thought you originally said 76. I think KY became
in existence in 74, maybe. I thought. Yeah. Okay.
I thought it was like 86. It might have been
86 because I don't see two years after their
startup in their existence, them going to a time
capsule. So I bet you it was 86. Either way,
it's going to be really neat to see the footage
that's on there. Who was the DJs? There's so
many of them that we forgot about, you know,
I mean. So many of them went through there. Some
of them ended up at the Fox. Some of them didn't.
A lot of them retired, like Max. All those guys
are retired. It's going to be interesting to
see what was going on, what was the big cheese
around town, what they were goofing on. There's
always something around town. Remember Carol
Coe, the old councilwoman that they used to fight
with all the time? Yeah, you know, stuff like
that was going on constantly. Oh, you know, they're
doing stuff like, I don't know, like maybe a
fish fry down at the Brush Creek, which is known
here in Kansas City, as you would know, Rob,
as Flush Creek. Because the houses over there
in Mission Hills is grandfathered in. From what
I understand, if it's correct, from what I understand,
their sewage can go into there and there's nothing
the city can do about it because it's grandfathered
in. Whether that's true or not, that's what I
understood. If I'm not right, forgive me. You
heard the disclaimer at the first. We'll make
shit up if it sounds good. So if it's wrong,
I'm sorry. They did stuff like that. Went down
there goofing on the plaza and stuff. It's going
to be neat to see exactly what they were doing.
Maybe some concert tickets they were giving away
to Madonna. No, no, it wouldn't be Madonna. This
is KY. What am I saying? That'd be in Q104. Oh,
no, the REO. Try it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Or one
of the summer jams that they used to have. So
anyhow, it's going to be really cool. And they
said, you know, ticket stubs, concert posters,
DJs and fans from many years of KY in existence.
So that's going to be pretty cool. I can't wait
for it. And we will have a full report on it,
too, because we love KY. We wish they were still
around. I still wish KCI was around. That was
a great station, 1065 KCI. That was another good
one. Yes, it was. Yeah, we had many really good
stations. I forgot about that station. Did you?
That's where Randy Miller originated. That is
where Randy Miller came from. Yes, I remember
hearing him on there, and that's when he did
the Mission Hillbillies and all that stuff, all
that. all that stuff that he pretty much started
here in Kansas City. It was just, it was amazing
radio. He would go, the Plaza Patrol, he would
go goof on those guys. Remember, they drove around
in bicycles and they're wannabe cops. And I mean,
he was like, he was like an expert goofer. He
could goof on anybody and get under their skin.
Didn't he like send a bunch of bugs to the serial
killer Bob Berdella or some shit like that? I
think so. Yeah, it's like bugs for Bob because
he was, if I remember correctly, I believe this...
He did some wacky shit before he got on. Yeah,
and he also got fired a lot, too. Because...
Before he got on, he did pretty good on 104 Country.
Yeah, yeah. He did pretty good on everywhere
that he went. I think he went up to Minneapolis.
And I don't know if Kansas City gave more money
or they just didn't think it was funny because
quite often other... Other markets, you know,
they're like, oh, that's not funny. And us here
in Kansas City are laughing our ass off. You
know, markets are weird. You know, some of them,
there's like big Bob and Tom hubs. They came
here to Kansas City and did nothing. They're
off within a month and a half. You know, it's
just different types of humor for different areas.
But I believe he did that Bugs for Bridella because
Bob Bridella, the serial killer that did horrible
things to men. Like electrified their genitals.
All different kinds of stuff. Hung them upside
down. I'm not joking on this. I wish I was. No,
he's not. I remember this. Yeah, he did all this
horrible shit to people. And he was complaining
when he went to prison. He was complaining about
bugs. And I believe it was Randy Miller that
had bugs for Berdella. I believe it was him.
Yes, yes, it was. It was Randy Miller that had
bugs for Berdella. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If not,
I don't think, I don't think man cow was working
for him quite yet, but if it was, if it was him,
then I apologize. It was him, but I believe there's
some death threats sent out from prison. Another
thing he did remember when he told him he got
on the air and he said that a deer hunting was
going to be allowed at KCI because there's so
many deer, they needed to call the herd. All
these hunters show up at the airport. These are
some classic moments, but none of them will be
on KY because Randy Miller, he never worked for
KY. Max Tana and Moffat and Dick and Jay. What
was the other one? Rob and Tom and Rob or something
like that. I don't know. In between there. They
had some. Yeah. Yeah. Anyhow, it's going to be
really cool. Can't wait to see that. And we will
give a full report. But in other news, a burglar
in Massachusetts gave himself syphilis and several
forms of herpes after inhaling five grams of
dried semen that he mistook for meth. That is
not a good way to... We might as well call the
show right now because I cannot stop that. It's
done. It's done. He got STDDs the non -fun way.
What a fucking idiot. And also, you know, I spoke
about tinnitus quite a bit. I think anyone that's
listened to this thing often would know that
I have tinnitus, which is ringing in my ears.
I know that is such a funny story. Oh, hey, that's
got to be meth. Look. He gave himself. syphilis
and several forms of herpes. If I was the judge,
I'd say, you're not... Get out of here. Okay.
I have a tinnitus update. I don't know how we're
going to carry on. Shit. I know. I keep that.
When I was printing that off, I was fucking laughing.
I couldn't stop. I'm like, what a dipshit. How
can a judge sentence him anymore? A judge would
be like, you know what? You're gonna end up killing
yourself because you're too stupid. So just go
do it go do it go do the Darwin go get out of
here Yeah, okay Yeah, just go yeah, you're gonna
do something you're gonna try to fucking bite
off a car offender while it's driving or something
You're just too stupid to live obviously Darwinism
will take over and it's just going to be the
natural selection. You were too dumb to live.
You were the slow gazelle, whatever you want
to count it to. But that guy is too dumb to live.
And if I was a judge, I'd say, go live. You're
going to kill yourself somehow. So I have a tinnitus
update. I finished my six week run. Okay, I got
to get that whole thing off of my mind there
because that just fucking kills me. Okay, I finished
my six -week run. The treatment was turn on a
fan, then turn on an FM. It had to be an FM transmitter.
I believe that the tone is lower. And tune into
static. Once a week, you turn down your volume
slightly for six weeks. Is the ringing still
there? Yes. But it works on a different level
than what I was thinking. The ear ringing, it's
still there. It's the same volume. The difference
is you've taught yourself to not hear the noise
unless you think about it. Does that make any
kind of sense at all? Yes, it does. Okay. I didn't
know if that was something you had to live through
to know or if that's something you could catch
on to. yeah you have to think about and go oh
yeah my ears are ringing but other than that
i don't think about it i see what i see what
it works now i think your mind concentrates on
this other noise and it gets used to okay this
noise is there but you don't notice it because
there's this other noise going on it's something
subliminal like that obviously but um you know
it it worked but the ear ringing's not gone But
if I don't think about it, I don't notice it
anymore. So, yeah, I guess it did work. And it
just doesn't take away the ringing. I'm still
holding out for my Vionic eardrums. They've got
to be coming, don't they? Actually, I think they
do have them. Didn't Roger Daltrey get them?
Or one of the... Shit. I'll have to look that
up. But I believe one of the rockers from...
a longtime rocker, got him quite a few years
ago, Bionic Eardrums. Could have been Pete Townsend.
I think it might have been Pete Townsend got
him. You remember anything about that? No. Oh,
go ahead. Oh, shit. I don't know. I've got a
story about Roger Daltrey. Yeah, yeah. And his
hearing. Yeah, yeah. You know where I'm going
with that. Yeah, I do. I think it was too. I'll
look it up a little bit later. I will look it
up when you're doing one of your stories when
I have a minute. But I think it was Pete Towns
that I really do. I think he got bionic eardrums.
So evidently they're out there. I just probably
don't have enough money to cover it. I'm pretty
sure my insurance is... Oh, that would explain
my story. Oh, by the way, this is the only podcast
with fair tariff. We have a fair tariff policy
here. Just an FYI, we trade our podcasts with
countries that only promote a fair trade balance.
Isn't that right, Rob? Rob does all the searching,
and he does all the negotiating and the buying
and all that. And anyhow, when we get done, Rob
makes sure that we have an even playing field.
So thank you, Rob. So when we buy our pencil
shavings from Indonesia, and then they buy Rob's
toenail clippings. We don't know why, but neither
one of them have tax on them because we have...
Oh, geez. Well, you know what? Do you have any
clippings or are you waiting for them to grow
back? Oh, geez. You know what? I'll send Indonesia
an email. Okay, I could get some of my Italians.
I'm going to start up my own company here. There
we go. I mean, I hear they can make great things
out of them. Yeah. Yeah, all right. That's murdering.
True, true. I heard they make bionic ears. Jeffy
X, he'll find out. I hear they make bionic eardrums
out of toenail clippings. Isn't that true? Cool.
Yeah, all right. I don't know. All right, I've
been dealing with my dentist. I just sell them.
Oh, go ahead. I just sell them. Okay. I don't
know what they do with them. You're like one
of those chicks that sells their hair. They have
no idea what they do with them, but they sell
it. Yeah. Okay, all right. You're just the sharecropper,
right? You grow the crop, and then you set them
up. Okay. I've been dealing with my dentist a
lot lately. The last couple of years, they have
had this answering service. And they answer the
phones at peak times instead of them. Okay, so
like they're really busy. And it'll ring like,
I don't know, five times and go to hold. Ring
five times, go to hold. And then the third time
it rings five times, it goes to the answering
machine so you don't have to wait anymore. So
I noticed the hold music was always Leonard Skinner,
Tuesday's Gone With The Wind. It's like they
only have one song on their hold. I've called
this place many times. And this is the answer
machine that works for my dentist. So the last
time, last week when I had to call to change
my appointment because of my vacation coming
up Friday, I had to switch my days off to accommodate
it. And one of them was on the days I was supposed
to go in there. And I talked to the lady. I said,
you know, I said, do you know that you guys run
the same song constantly? And she goes, no. I
know nothing about the hold music. I said, yeah,
it's Leonard Skinner, Tuesday's Gone With The
Wind. And she goes, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
that's a pretty good song. And then I go, yeah.
I go, after I get done setting my appointment,
yeah, I do too. I had her send me back to hold
so I could hear the rest of it, and she did.
Pretty nice of her. Right. The very first ad
that appeared on the email page is a Groupon
tour of Miami Beach Millionaire Row from a luxury
catamaran, if I could talk, and a tour of Miami's
incredible skyline. Yeah, I never knew about
this. Many times I've been down there for cruises
or just whatever. I never knew about this. So
our new email to douchebags at mail .com, the
very first advertisement. they sent me to was
this Miami tour that I'd never known anything
about as a Groupon of them. I was like, oh my
God, this email service is fantastic because,
you know, like Hotmail is trying to like sell
me, upgrade the service for 10 bucks a month.
And then, oh, Yahoo is, you know, trying to sell
me, I don't know, jewelry or some shit. Mail
.com came in right in and they figured out what
I liked. And they sent me that. And I was like,
wow, that's pretty impressive. You know, I just
set it up, and then all of a sudden it figures
out. Either that or, I don't know, man, they
spy on me a little too much maybe. I don't know.
But I was like, wow, that's cool. They hit it
right there. I was like, cool. And let's see.
Last Wednesday, and finally, Rob, you saw this,
and I sent you a link on it. Last Wednesday was
April 16, 2025. It was National Pathway Day,
National Calendar Day, National Bean Counter
Day, National Healthcare Decisions Day, National
Orchid Day, National Banana Day, National Wear
Your Own PJs to Work Day, and newly appointed
National Dueling Dinosaurs Day. So, I mean, number
one, don't you think there should be a limit
on all the days they could have? I mean... You
didn't mention the day I read. Well... this is
still pending um i i applied in the name of two
douchebags and microphone for national crappy
podcast day and the criteria is okay it wanted
an emblem so i came up with that emblem right
yes i sent you the emblem national crappy podcast
day okay they wanted to know why And what you're
supposed to do to celebrate it that day. So I
said, why is there's a bunch of struggling podcasters
out there and they're all crappy and they all
would like their stuff observed. And I said,
the national day of podcasting is simply you
take that day to find horrible podcasts and listen
to them all day to salute all the hardworking
men and women of America or the world coming
up with these crappy podcasts. Isn't that great?
Yeah, people like us. So it is... No, unfortunately,
it goes through a process, but I don't know why
we couldn't make it. I mean... No, no, no, I
sent... Oh, well. Okay. Okay, the national, how
you apply for it. Okay, I mean, they have national
dueling dinosaur days, for God's sakes. crappy
podcast should be a winner yeah that should be
a no -brainer going right through but it takes
you know they have so many of them i'm sure it's
going to take a while so i'm waiting for the
response back so and this is a criteria for applying
for a national day You have to go to the National
Day website. You can Google it. Fill out a lengthy
form. I mean, it's a long form. You have to make
a logo, which I did. And you have to submit it
on whose behalf. Explain why you would like this
day and how one should celebrate the day. So,
we will see if it works. I hope so. Yeah. So,
Rob, that's all I'm going to go into for right
now. I have some other shit, but that's what
it is. It's shit, so go ahead. on this story
all week, and you and I kind of touched on it
just a minute ago. Yeah. Well, I'm just going
to read this story I pulled up. Okay. Who had
reversed course and rehired longtime drummer
Zach Starkey days after firing him following
a round of concerts at London's Royal Albert
Hall? Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm. And their drummer for
nearly three decades over apparent issues with
the drumming that occurred during the band's
concerts at Royal Albert Hall, Starkey subsequently
confirmed the news in a statement to Rolling
Stone saying he was surprised and saddened by
the band's decision. In his lengthy statement,
Townsend provided a behind -the -scenes account
of what led to Starkey's initial ouster. and
why the band ultimately changed its mind. Roger
and I would like Zach to tighten up his latest
evolved drumming style and accommodate our non
-orchestral lineup, and he has readily agreed,
Townsend noted. I take responsibility for some
of the confusion. completely from having complete
knee replacement. Why did I ever think I could
land on my knees? Wrong. No, it was, I guess
it was a communication. It was actually Roger
Daltrey started this. I'm going to go into the
stories I've followed all week. I'm just going
to combine everything. Well, yeah, yeah, I mean,
well, go ahead. What happened was they were playing
a concert and Roger Daltrey started complaining.
Yeah. Roger Daltrey's, what, 81? Yeah, I think
81 is what I read. Yeah, it is very sharp. Yeah,
and also he's going blind. So, I mean, Father
Time is... Well, yeah, I read that story a week
or two ago about he, in an interview, he mentioned
that he's becoming... Yeah, that's right. He
did say that. I forgot. That's a dumb. Yeah,
yep. Yeah. Well, he's going deaf to blind. That
deaf dumb, was it fat kid? He just needs to know.
Yeah, I thought that was pretty cool, but I'm
glad that Ringo Starr's son is back in the band
and all that, because it sounds, like you said,
it was an unfortunate turn of events. He was
a really good fit in with them, I think. Yeah.
I like him. Yeah, yeah. And I have no idea who
the bassist is. John Etwistle, he passed away
doing a bunch of cocaine with hookers, which
I salute him. He passed away being a rock star.
Yeah. So, anyhow, I don't know. I just don't
know that much about the band anymore. I know
Roger Daltrey and Pete Townsend, and that was
about it. Oh, go ahead. Let's go to break. Okay.
We're over. Yeah. Well over. Yeah, well over.
And when we come back, I'll have the answer to
who Space Player is. Okay. Then I have some emails.
Sound good? Sounds good. That's the plan. We'll
be back. And now, Deep Thoughts with Mark. Why
can't I just buy a can of thin paint? Why do
I always have to go buy paint thinner? I may
never know. Now it's time for pickup lines from
a loser. If I had a nickel for every time I saw
someone as beautiful as you, I would have a whole
five cents. This is a voice guide from your favorite
podcast, Two Douchebags and a Microphone. People
often ask us how they can find us when doing
a remote broadcast. One, smell. Go to the city
market and start sniffing. Our aroma has been
described as a mixture of flea powder for goats,
Tabasco sauce, and old sock with dark fuzzy urine.
Two, look for the spot absent of patrons. Three,
the most telling sign is a crowd of patrons vomiting
uncontrollably. 4. Just call us at 816 -512 -7717.
Have you ever wondered what something is about?
Have you ever looked at something and said, Hey,
I wonder what the origin of that is? Well, so
have we. That's why we give you The Origin of
The Origin of the Middle Finger. The origin of
the middle finger gesture is an insult, is debated.
but it's widely believed to have roots in ancient
greece and rome specifically a slave to phallic
symbolism and used as a way to express insults
taunt or even ward off evil though specific origins
are unclear the middle finger has been documented
as a gesture of disrespected anger for over two
millennia So you want proof that we love you
here at QD Spades and Microphone Central? Here's
a proof right here. How about the drink of the
week? Hey, all you drunk belly dancers. This
one's for you. This is a Butch Wacker. This is
from Norwegian Cruise Line's Best Drinks. This
is a chocolatey, delicious drink. Thick. You
can make yourself. It starts out one ounce of
rum, one half ounce chocono, chocolate flavor
mucor. One half ounce of vodka. 1 1⁄2 ounce of
Bailey's Iris Creek, 1 1⁄2 ounce of Kahula, and
1 1⁄2 ounce of Amaretto. Shake all together,
put in a glass, and there you are. Delightful,
chalkwoody goodness. Enjoy. Two douchebags and
microphone in an effort to keep everything fresh.
We offer you First World Problems. My driver's
license picture makes me look older. I'm calling
a lawyer. And this is Rob in the Duck Planet
studio in the beautiful Aguilar Arm of Wakerdilton.
Thank you, Rob. Even after a tornado. Yeah. You
have the answer? Okay, so they had someone in
between, I guess. Okay, all right. Thank you,
Rob. Well, like I said, we have some emails.
Are you ready for them? Yes. All right. You know,
it's my favorite. We can't beat them. I mean,
these guys are, like I said, they should have
their own podcast. They are good. All right.
What the fuck is this Babble Touch thing about,
Jeremy? It's not Babble... Snatch. Yes. Babble
Touch. I listen to every one of our podcasts.
It does not sound like Babble Touch. I don't
know where he got that from. Okay, Touch, Snatch.
You know what? He probably just got it. Okay.
All right, Jeremy, I'm sorry. It doesn't say
where you're from. No, it's Babble Snatch, and
it came from the Babble Snatch gum story. And
I'm not going to go into that again. I've told
it enough times. I got to find the original one
and then just like repurpose it and put it into
some of these, some of these podcasts. Yeah.
Make a promo out of it or something. Yeah. So
it was about the Babble Snatch story. So whenever
we can't pronounce something, which is often,
we don't claim to be that smart book -wise. So
we say Babble Snatch instead. So if it's like
some long name. Like the name that Fudo said
that I did the other day. It is Babble Snatch.
So we just go, yeah, yeah, yeah, Babble Snatch.
Or if it's a name you can't pronounce, I know
it's French or something, you go Babble Snatch.
That's all that is. It's a substitute name, and
the people that heard it, know it, and the people
that don't are going, what's Babble Touch? So,
all right, Jeremy. And if you're not worried
about that name, look up the article. Yeah. Yeah,
that's right. Simple. Simple. Let's see if you
can pronounce it. Yeah. All right. Four musicians
in a super group. And this is, of course, Ronnie
and Tulsa, the Tulsa King. And I texted you about
that earlier. Yeah, yeah. We'll do ours next
week. That's fine. He just sent me this. will
be Tuesday night. This is Easter Sunday night.
Yeah, we've been busy. Oh, yeah, this is Easter,
so happy Easter, everybody, even though when
you hear it, it will not be Easter. So, all right.
Oh, and also, I've been saying Tulsa King. He
reminded me. It's Ronnie and Tulsa, the Tulsa
King. Tulsa King. Yeah. Okay, I guess I've just
been saying Tulsa King. So, all right. Oh, yeah,
we could, sure. Okay, no, it's the... Yeah, we
got to get it right. He's joking around, but
we're still going to honor it. So, all right.
His super group is John Lennon. Of course, we
know he's a huge Beatle buff. I kind of figured
John Lennon would be in there because John Lennon's
like his idol. Jeff Lynn, which I think is a
great pick. Yeah, yeah. A little ELO action there.
The brain, the master behind ELO. He'd have to
come back. would be good. Jeff Lynn's alive.
He just finished his last tour. I thought he
passed away. No, he finished his last tour last
year. They're coming by St. Louis. Yeah, they
were down here at Ozark Amphitheater last year.
Yeah. And I thought, okay, maybe I heard wrong.
I hope not. Maybe he had just retired after that.
I believe it. Okay, I don't think he passed away,
but no, I wanted to see him once, just once,
but I could not pull off the trip to St. Louis.
I could not. There was no way. I didn't have
vacation time, all this stuff, so. I should have
seen him here, but I didn't. Oh, man, and I didn't
know he was coming there. That would have been
an even easier drive, but it doesn't matter,
and I don't know if it was on a day I could get
there. Who knows? Okay, so John Lennon, Jeff
Lynn, Ginger Baker. Good pick. Good pick. Ginger,
really interesting drummer. Really different.
I believe, isn't he like a jazz style kind of?
I mean, I know he's in Cream and stuff like that,
but okay. Anyhow, Ginger Baker, great, great
pick. And then the great Billy Sheehan. Oh, damn.
Yeah. Billy Sheehan, bassist extraordinaire.
Great guy. Great guy. Yes. Yeah. So, and he wants
us, but first we're going to do the super group.
And then after that, or we can do them both on
the next one. You just text me if we're going
to do both of them. List the top, your top seven
favorite barbecue sauces of all time. Okay. So,
and I haven't even started working on that yet
either. So we're even. So. All right. We'll see
when that one comes out. I think I already...
We'll see. Okay. I think that one's pretty easy
for me. I know my best, my favorites, and I know
the ones that are okay and the ones that are
horrible. So, anyhow. All right. Hey, guys. I'm
over here in Gun City passing out Fuckhammer
flyers. I get backstage passes for passing them
out. Mitch, president and CEO of Buckhammer Band
of North America slash Division 3. Mitch. Mitch
is a true fan. We owe you a check. We owe you
a check. Gosh. I may have to make him a Batsuit.
Mitch, you got a Batsuit coming up. Maybe, yeah.
Yeah. Let's plan Christmas. There we go. Yeah.
Let's see. Let's go over that again. Mitch, president
and CEO of Fuckhammer Band of North America slash
Division 3. He is a man of the world. And Gun
City is pretty easy. Pass him out there. What
is it? One house? And a burned down church and
a burned down bar? Mitch, thank you for going
to extreme depths to get more fans for Fuckhammer.
And if you don't know, it's on one of the podcasts,
and it's not that long ago. So it was a trick
that I played on a lot of people in Westport.
Because Trip Hammer was a band that I couldn't
stand that was playing everywhere. And so I came
up with a band that sounded like them called
Fuck Hammer that didn't exist. And I got Legs
Diamond. I was reminded of was the name of the
ugly glam metal band from like the early eighties.
They were just disgusting looking and he had
all this makeup on. And I mean, they look like
horrible looking like bad drag Queens. And I
put their face on it and I called him fuck hammer.
I passed him all around Westport and people are
trying to go to this concert because of the way
they looked. But of course it never worked. It
never was true. So, all right. Hey guys, how
about a fucked up word of the week? Kind of that
one word that meant fear of long words. Just
a thought. Barkley in South Carolina. Yeah. Yeah.
You know what? I kind of like that. And I kind
of got an idea. I'll tell you outside the podcast.
I kind of got an idea on how to do it, too. I
think I know how to give a little edge to it.
And I like that idea. All right. Thank you, Barkley.
Yeah. All right. Barkley, thank you. South Carolina,
I don't know where, but thank you for listening.
You're an awesome person, whoever you are. I
don't know your male, female, Barkley. Is that
a male or a female name, or is that a last name?
I'll bet you it's a last name. Oh, well. I don't
know, but I have a niece in South Carolina. Oh,
is that you? Are you Barkley? Are you undercover?
No. Okay, no. Okay. She'd give her name straight
up. Okay. Rob's niece. Okay. All right. Well,
Barkley, thank you. And if you run into Rob's
niece, tell her hello, right? Yep. All right.
Rob, you ever think of wearing a top hat like
Abe Lincoln or Slash? Becky in Fort Collins.
Fort Collins would probably be Colorado, and
that is home of New Belgium Brewery. I've been
there. I love that place. It's beautiful land,
beautiful country there. Rob? She's had to look
at the picture. She's had to look at a picture
of me because I do have a mustache and a goatee.
Oh, that's why. I was wondering. Okay. She's
had to look at a picture to know that. Okay.
I'm just calling her out on that one. Sorry.
Becky, have you been creeping on Rob? Is that
what's going on? You've been creeping on Rob,
huh? Well, get in line. They all creep on Rob.
in a microphone t -shirt and the famous what
is it mark duck blind studio no oh what am i
wearing underneath down below oh oh yeah yeah
the famous loincloth yes yes tonight is easter
i'm in the two douchebags t -shirt and the loincloth
okay yeah uh rob are you gonna wear the loincloth
and the top hat Okay. We're going to go around
some thrift stores, and we're going to find him
a top hat, and he's going to wear that and the
loincloth and two douchebags and microphone t
-shirt. Becky, thank you. Fort Collins, Colorado,
beautiful place. You ever get a chance to visit
it, do it. New Belgium Brewery is gorgeous. It's
half inside, half outside. They have a huge playground.
It's a huge playground of beer drinking out there.
You just have to go there and see it, like large
chairs, outdoor tilting, recliners, let's see,
Jenga, life -size Jenga, all this stuff. It's
just a cool place. That would be cool. Oh, it
is. I got pictures of it somewhere, but anyhow.
All right. Mark, should I get a tattoo on my
forearm that says Mudda? Vincent and KCK. No.
No. Get one on your forehead or you're a pussy.
Vincent, get one on your forehead or you're a
little girl. No. Fuck that forearm shit. No.
On your forehead and send pics to prove it. Otherwise,
it didn't happen. Next one. Has that fireplace
been destroyed yet? Asking for a friend. Phil
in Cass County. It hasn't been. I haven't been
by it in so long. Not that I know of. Not that
I know of either. I mean, it is right next to
the jail. It's right next to the Justice Center.
Yeah, see, that's what scares everybody right
there. It's after jail. So, yeah. I'm sure many
people went there with that intent, and then
they saw, you know, probably... A couple of cameras
and stuff are in the jail right behind them.
They're like, you know what? I guess it's going
to stay another day. So, yeah, it's kind of protected.
That's why they put it there. Yeah, they knew
that everyone else would tear that thing. They
knew nobody would touch it. Yep. So I'm guessing
it's going to stay there until something else.
So, all right. Maybe an earthquake. Who knows?
All right. I'm sending you an article about podcast
popularity. Also, the incredible numbers that
it generates. I thought you would like to know.
Rodney Delmar Estates. Delmar Estates. Okay.
Well, wherever that is, thank you, Rodney. Housing
edition. I guess. I don't know. I guess it's
a housing edition. Rodney, thank you. I did.
It took a couple of days, but I did get it. I
got it yesterday, actually. And I, um, to be
honest, I read the article already, but thank
you. I appreciate your interest in it. And yeah,
I know podcasts are it. People download a bunch
of them. They go on trips, they go back and forth
to work. Um, that's how come a lot of live radio
is dying off is because people find exactly what
they like. Like if you like sick, demented humor,
you probably turn tune into us. So, um, yeah,
yeah. the new old technology of the future. So,
and thank you, Rodney. Appreciate it. Rob, we
turn to you. All right. The King of the Hill
revival has been in the works for quite some
time. Didn't Boomhammer die? Yeah, King of the
Hill. Yeah, Boomhammer died though, right? The
guy that done Boomhauer? You reported it, I believe.
Was it Boomhauer? No, I think it was... Dale?
I can't remember his name. I don't know who.
I think it was Batmobile. Oh, well. One of them
died. I'm looking at a picture of the four of
them standing next to the fence holding a beer
and talking. I can't remember his name. I think
it was... What was the guy, the fat one? Yeah,
the fat bald dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shit, let's
see. I think he was... Anyway. Go ahead with
the article. I'm going to try to look it up.
If I'm going to be able to see Hank, Peggy, Bobby,
and the rest of the citizens in Arlen, Texas,
return to Hulu. Bill! Bill! Very cool. The new
batch of episodes will represent the first original
King of the Hill content aired since 2009. While
a specific release date hasn't been confirmed,
our fans won't be waiting long to see the Hills
make their grand comeback. Nice. Bill is who
we was thinking of. Bill. Yeah, I looked it up.
It's Bill. They had a picture of him as Bill.
That's going to be cool. Probably so. Cool. Very,
very cool. I'm waiting for it then. And what's
it on, Netflix? Oh, Hulu. Okay. All right. Thank
you. All right. Thank you, Rob. Appreciate that.
And I can't wait for that. Yeah, I love King
of Hill. Yeah, I do, too. I mean, I watch about
every family guy there is. I've been tired of
The Simpsons forever. I needed a new, fresh one.
Well, if it's new episodes, Beavis and Butthead's
reboot was good. And especially when he's showing
them older. It was really good. But anyhow, King
of the Hill should be great. All right. The hottest
new reality TV drama is a live stream of migrating
Arctic moose. And millions are tuning in from
all over the world. Not kidding you. A majestic
herd of moose is captivating millions across
the globe thanks to Sweden's non... no, not now,
now iconic live stream, The Great Moose Migration.
Dubbed reality TV at its finest, the sublime
broadcast returned April 15th, a full week early
after an unusually warm spring, jump -started
the annual inland trek of the country's largest
land mammals. The show, locally known as Dinstora
Gardinia, whatever the hell that means, has been
described, oh, wait a minute, babble snatch,
been described as hypnotic, meditative, and even
a little addictive. With more than 30 cameras
capturing uninterrupted footage of wild moose
crossings, rivers, and snow -dusted forests,
the 24 -7 stream offers viewers all the drama
of the great outdoors at a glacial pace. So that's
cool. I mean, wouldn't it be cool to sneak in
there and maybe put some moose pheromones on
the camera? And then the moose would come up
and try to fuck the camera? All you see is moose
penis and balls. Wouldn't that be funny? People
are watching it. Yeah, yeah. And all of a sudden
the moose is like, come running over there trying
to hump the camera. I mean, if you put the pheromones
on it, you know, like they do to deer, which
I am really against. You know, the deer thinks
it's going to get some ass instead it gets killed.
But yeah, yeah. Put a little moose pheromone
on there and then the moose will come over there
and try to bang it. I think that's great. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah, hell yeah. You talk about reality
TV. Now, stay tuned for the next, you know, this
show would come on, the store of Babble Snatch.
And then it'd be, stay tuned for Moose Fucking.
Yeah. Yeah, that's it. The world would watch.
All right, let's take our second break. And we'll
come right back with something Rob wants to talk
about. Me? I'm a simple man. I talk about moose
penis. What were you saying? That sounds good.
All right. We will be right back. Next up, things
overheard in hell. Gary Glitter has been named
the lead singer in the boys' choir of hell. Rob
consumed small doses of radiation for 30 years.
Rob is immune to radiation. Watch him glow. Watch
Rob Red jump up 25 feet and grab birds out of
thin air with his mouth. With his mouth. Rob
can now be a mentor for children's parties and
bar mitzvahs. That's right. Come on and rent
you a Rob today. That's right. Come by and rent
Rob for a day. A day. A day. Watch Rob consume
seven bottles a night and still break dance and
moonwalk. Watch Rob Red. Fart down a building.
Fart down a building. Rob Red assumes no responsibility
whatsoever. He is not a babysitter and he doesn't
give one house a shit about your children. Please
remember to corral every little bastard you have.
Everybody knows Mark is a fucking idiot. But
Mark would like to take this moment to remind
you, you're listening to this fucking idiot.
Next time you take a dump, listen to two douchebags
and a microphone. It's been proven in laboratory
rats to relax your anal canal. Get in cover.
Introducing Rob Rad's new book, How to Track
Your Enemy by Scent. That's right, smell your
enemy before they get you. Order this gem now
and get a free virtual tour of Rob's secret bunker
in Camderton, Missouri. Also receive a free copy
of his new book, How to Clean Raw Sewage for
Food. Have you ever wondered where something
came from? Have you ever looked at something
and said, Hey, I wonder what the origin of that
is? Well, so have we. That's why we give you
The Origin Of. This is the story of Dr. Pepper.
Originally made in Morrison's Old Corner Drugstore
in Waco, Texas, the drink's unique flavor was
a hit when it was first sold in 1885. Wade Morrison,
the drugstore owner, named it Dr. Pepper after
Dr. Charles Pepper. a Virginia doctor who the
father of a girl, Morrison, he was once in love
with. You can still go to the Dr. Pepper Museum
and still purchase the original formula with
pure artesian well water and pure cane sugar.
It's quite a treat if you're into Dr. Pepper.
Harambe does not listen to our original show,
Two Dipshits and a Cheap Radio Shack Realistic
Tape Recorder anymore. You might ask why Harambe
never listens to our original show, Two Dipshits
and a Cheap Radio Shack Realistic Tape Recorder.
Well, it's because Harambe is dead. Senselessly
murdered because some idiot did not watch her
child properly while looking on her phone. Sadly,
Harambe does not listen to our original show,
Two Dipshits and a Cheap Radio Shack Realistic
Tape Recorder or any other show. Sorry, Harambe.
Yes, it's true. Mark is an old bastard. It's
also true that Mark uses a lot of ibuprofen.
But Mark would like to tell you, if you see any
pictures of him roofing ibuprofen, it's obviously
fake, and you're to take the pictures and tear
them up immediately. The microphone, I'm Mark,
and this is the legend behind the National Crappy
Podcast Day, operating here from the South Kansas
City Metroplex chapter. And I am Rob from the
recovering angler arm of Lake Edition. Yes, if
you heard the first part, you know why they're
recovering. Nader. What? Oh, Nader. Nader. Nader.
Yep, nadir come down. It destroyed 30 miles of
buildings, tore up the dam, and now the dam's
compromised, and it's getting ready to flood
everybody that's below the hill. It's horrible.
Just horrible. Not really. Go ahead, Rob. Seriously,
it's not that bad. No. No. Luckily, it doesn't
sound like there's much damage, and it doesn't
sound like anybody was hurt. So. From what I've
heard so far. Yeah, from what I've heard so far,
too. And the dam was not hit, and it was not
compromised. No, we still have a lake. Yes. Now,
is that, to be honest, is that dam ever not blown?
Oh, shit. Bagnell Dam? This whole area would
be, yeah, we'd go under. Nobody would come here.
We would starve. There would be nothing here.
Yeah. Yeah, it would be wiped away. So, okay,
Rob. Okay, yes. We all of a sudden, we both just
quit talking there. I think we realized that,
like, we got really dark. Rob, go ahead. Anyhow,
go ahead. Yes. I'm going to have to move your
Bluetooth. It's going to sound a little bit different
probably, but it's about ready to die because
I forgot to charge it up. So, Rob, go ahead and
start with something you want to talk about.
I'm going to try to get this here thing charged
up a little bit so it doesn't die on us. All
right. There we go. Wildlife piracy sounds a
lot cooler than it is. It's a serious crime,
a reality to Belgian teenagers who are facing
firsthand after trying to traffic by. hmm lorne
david and babble snatch you tonight i'm not even
sappy something i'm not even trying rob it works
great you say babble snatch and it's funnier
than hell i love the way we're doing this Mm
-hmm. Uh -huh. service called it what it is,
that to trafficking. It's not just elephants
and rhinos anymore these days. Even insects are
getting black marketed along with high -value
food products like Asian cheese. As it wasn't
obvious, though, that these kids were not just
collecting ants to hobby on the same day. In
the same courtroom, two other guys were also
charged with attempting to smuggle ants. A couple
of Vietnamese guys. They had like 400 ants. They
were trying to smuggle them out of Nairobi. Oh,
yeah. Wow. Shillings. That's interesting. Okay.
I thought shillings might have also been a British
coin also. But anyhow, wow. Okay. Huh. Yeah,
they all cut them off. Okay. Wow, seven grand.
Well, I'm glad they caught them because, I mean,
you know, this is how, like, Asian carps came
around and destroyed all our eco -life. You know,
they brought over algae eaters, and then people
started flushing down the stool. They got in
the sewer systems. They adapted, and now they
chew up everything in our ecosystems and lakes
and rivers, and they're horrible. and they're
hard to kill, they're hard to get rid of, they
don't have any natural predators, and the ants
would probably end up like that too, wouldn't
they? Yeah. Well, thank you, Rob. You're welcome.
All right. There's a guy that he discovered a
torture dungeon of hidden rooms and passages
underneath his house. Now, we know Rob doesn't
have that because Rob has a bunker and he has
passageways that goes underneath. How far down
under the earth are these passageways, Rob? Oh,
at least three stories. Yeah, yeah. And then
you have, what, a living room? You have an entertainment
center? Oh, no, I have a... Yeah, I have a...
Oh, down there? Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's fully set
up. Yep. And... He has a really good sex room.
It's just that you've got to bring out food.
Yeah, yeah, yep. And he has a really good sex
room there, too. Yeah. Yeah, I've heard about
it. Ball gags, everything. All right. A guy discovered
a torture dungeon and hidden rooms and passages
underneath his house. Was it the Chamber of Secrets?
A homeowner was floored after detailing how he
discovered an Indiana Jones -esque labyrinth
of hidden chambers and tunnels underneath his
home. He found a network of tunnels and rooms
underneath my house, the gobsmacked fellow wrote
in a viral Reddit post alongside screenshots
of his spine -tingling fine. The photos depict
stairs leading down into a basement, various
dark passageways, a maze -like area with multiple
doorways. Also shown are some very macabre -like
quarters, including a dingy cell -like room with
a grate on the floor and a shaft of light poking
through the ceiling. A grate on the floor, Rob.
Another chamber features exposed piping and single
LED light illuminating the symbolic, shambolic
surroundings. The tunnels just keep going, exclaimed
the Redditor. or the guy that was on Reddit,
who estimated there were five rooms in total,
some of which featured running water while others
had power. The purpose of these subterranean
chambers is unclear, but he pointed out there
were many stained blankets with perhaps blood
in many of these chamber rooms. This isn't the
first time that someone has discovered passageways
like this underneath their home. So evidently
there are some weird fucking people out there.
And when they leave their houses, they leave
these things intact, I guess. In 2023, a woman
sent shivers down the internet's collective spine
after unloading a video of a creepy hidden room
behind her basement cupboard, which had children's
handprints on the walls and locked from the inside.
That's children's handprints on the walls. And
it was locked from the inside. This hidden chamber
in 2023. A woman found it. Yeah. Yeah. Creepy
as hell. What it was for. Oh, shit. What? Oh,
damn it. My old mic. I just kicked the shit.
I just kicked the shit out of it. I got a new
mic and we're going to see how well it works.
Well, it's a new old mic. I just found it again.
It's a lot stronger mic. And let me try to get
the old one back. Because there we go. Oh, and
I need to tell everybody the bad news, Rob, because
we're talking about it off the podcast. I will
not be able to podcast on the cruise. There are
rules now because people have been going in there
and doing video casts because most podcasts are
video casts. And they've been like doing stuff
that. These cruise lines, they've been filming
stuff that the cruise lines don't want them to
see. So just a couple of weeks ago, a couple
of famous podcasters were kicked off at the port
and are never allowed on a cruise ship again
because they podcasted. So I'm not going to be
able to do that. So, I mean, you just got to
wait till we get back and we'll throw out some
more good stuff. So, Rob, we turn to you. Because
we are not video. We're just, we record for audio.
I know, I know. And here's the deal. Why could
not, may not? Well, I guess one podcast or another
podcast. Yeah, I get it. Okay, let's say I could
get away with it, but let's say I couldn't. I'm
kicked off of the ship at the nearest port, and
I got to find a way home, which will cost thousands
of dollars. And I miss the rest of my cruise.
Yeah, what I might do is, like I did with Topher
a few years back, is I'll call in to the No Filter
studio and do a podcast from there. And if Rob
wants to join, I might be able to do a Bluetooth.
I don't know. I don't know how the internet phone
works. I'll check into that. If you want to do
a three -way on that, I'll try to check into
it and see if I can get it done. Anyhow, Rob,
you got something you want to go into? You know
my time schedule. No, no, that's what I'm saying.
It'll be in there somewhere. All right, all right,
all right. Yeah, just let me know on that. I
will definitely do that. I'll be part of that.
It would be cool. The last one turned out so
well. I mean, I called in from the... from the
back deck. We had the very back of the ship on
the aft, and it was a private balcony, and I
was sitting there watching the ocean go by, talking
to Topher for an hour and a half. It was fantastic.
It was a lot of fun, and it turned out really
good. It sounded great, and we had a really good
podcast, so hopefully we do that again. Anyhow,
Rob, we turn to you. Okay. shooting lasers directly
into your eye. Do not try this at home, by the
way. I wasn't gonna. Researchers claim it's possible
to experience a color never previously experienced.
The five people who have seen the color, which
the team calls OLO, O -L -O, the name of the
color, say that it's a blue -green hue. but more
saturated than any blue -green that's ever seen
before. Okay. As reported by The Guardian, a
team at the University of California, Berkeley,
has published a new paper outlining a method
for using a laser to stimulate individual cells
in the retina in order to create stimulus that
natural light couldn't otherwise produce. The
color -sensitive eye cells, known as tones, are
sensitive to long, medium, and short wavelengths
of light. Laser in the USC Berkeley experiment
stimulates just the medium tones, which are otherwise
never stimulated as isolation. The result of
the targeted laser stimulation is a patch of
color. And the recipient's vision that cannot
be produced under any natural lighting conditions.
Uh -huh. It was jaw -dropping. It's incredibly
saturated. It said, do you see Berkeley electrical
engineer Ren NG? Mm -hmm. A vision expert consulted
by the Guardian said that OLO is not a new color.
It was instead simply a more saturated green.
Interesting. It sounds like the green hue that
you get on sunsets when you flash a camera right
when the sun is going to go down off the horizon.
Are you familiar with what I'm talking about?
Yes, yes. Yeah, that's exactly what I thought
when it was explained. It sounded just like that.
Huh, interesting. Go ahead, do you have more
or not? Well, yeah, of course the story goes
on, but that's all I had. I'm like you. Like
the story said, they just tried it on one setting,
the medium. Yeah. Okay, what about the other
two? Yeah. Short and long. Yeah, yeah, I'd like
to know that too. It's interesting because, you
know, I found this out the other day. I've been
chasing the northern lights for a long time.
I've tried to go see them and failed several
times, occasionally because of the geometrical
storms. If they're past a G3, I believe, you
can usually pick them up in northern Missouri
and maybe where we're at, but probably not where
Rob's at. He's two and a half hours to the south
and east. So I went out of town to go look at
the northern lights. And it was the type that
you had to, you could only see with your cell
phone. You'd have to put it on long exposure
and hold it still or put it on a tripod and it
will capture the lights for you. Okay, you can
have them on video or you can have them on picture.
Now I found out that there's ones that you can
see with your naked eye down here, but it has
to be a particular type and strong enough of
a geometrical sunstorm on the sun, on the surface
of the sun. Did you know that? Yeah. That's pretty
interesting because I thought that all of them
you had to like have the tripod and all that.
But now I guess there's ones that you can see
with your naked eye and you can film them with
your camera at the same time. But those don't
happen nearly as often as the, I guess, the lesser
concentrated strength or whatever of the geometrical
storm. So interesting stuff. So, Rob, we are
at 930. You want to go on or you want to wrap
it up? Okay. I come across another story I want
to touch on, but it's longer than what I thought.
Oh, okay. I mean, if you think you can go through
it quickly, go ahead. No, no, no, no. Okay. Well,
I'll just give a teaser for the next podcast.
Cows have best friends. And a 92 -year -old woman
did something. A 92 -year -old Chinese woman
did something amazing. And a man had a very bad
accident because he supposedly was wearing Crocs.
All of that and more garbage coming at you on
the next podcast. Thank you, everybody. Oh, yeah,
that's right. Okay, I'm going to amend mine.
I'm going to amend mine. You got it. All righty.
Yeah, yeah. Now, if I can call into Topher, and
this is next Tuesday because I'll be on the ship.
Oh, that's all right. You're good. Yeah, well,
I'll talk to you tonight. Let's see. I'm leaving
Friday. Do you think you want to pull one off
Thursday night? Yeah, we can. Okay. All right.
Same time, everything. All right. Tuesday night,
let's do one Thursday night. There you go. And
hopefully I can get one or two in with Topher,
and hopefully Rob can be present. But I've got
to figure out that whole Internet phone number
thing. If I can figure out, I'm pretty sure they
have a feature where you can add a call. I've
just got to find out how to do it. I'm going
to Google it when we get off and figure it out
from there. So hopefully we can all have a three
-way like we used to do down at the city market.
Remember when we used to be able to do them on
the weekends and you'd call in? I was just doing
call -ins. Yeah, yep. Yep, and look what it's
led to. A certified co -host on the trashiest
podcast around, but the podcast that came up
with National Crappy Podcast Day. That's us.
Us. Yeah. So now, whenever you hear it on the
news, you'll have to go, two douchebags are microphone
-sponsored National Crappy Podcast Day. I think
they have to. You know what? I don't know. I'll
have to check into that. I hope so. Anyhow, everybody,
thank you for listening. Good night, assholes.
Good night, assholes. Oh, no. Looks like the
show's over, kids. Mark has explosive diarrhea
and can't afford a wireless mic. Fear not, assholes.
They'll be back invading your ear holes soon.