WEBVTT

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And now it's time for the Daily Douchebag Pledge.

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Two douchebags and a microphone pledge. I, Joe,

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or Jane Listener. hereby promise to download

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every show. I, Joe or Jane Listener, hereby promise

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to grab family members' phones and download the

00:00:43.570 --> 00:00:47.909
show from there. I, Joe or Jane Listener, hereby

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promise to go to public computers and download

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the show from there. I, Joe or Jane Listener,

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hereby promise to laugh at all the unfunny jokes.

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I, Joe or Jane Listener, hereby promise to lie

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to all my friends and tell them how good the

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show is. And finally, I, Joe, or Jane Listener

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promise to visit Montrose, Missouri to take advantage

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of the power plant, campgrounds, and junkyard

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all within its quarter -mile radius. Here at

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Two Douchebags and a Microphone, we don't stand

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behind our journalistic integrity. Go ahead and

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assume we got the story wrong. At least we admit

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it. Not like all those other guys. We can and

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will lie if it makes the story better. Two dish

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bags and microphone is the only podcast available

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anywhere with gusto. That's right, I said gusto.

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Gusto is a magical ingredient in Schlitz beer

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that makes it so damn delicious. So enjoy a little

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gusto from your podcast today. So you want proof

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that we love you here at QD Spades and Microphone

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Central? Here's a proof right here. How about

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the drink of the week? Hey, sporty pants. How

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about a black currant margarita? 24 ounces of

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tequila. The best or wow good. 20 ounces of cream

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big cassé. 96 ounce big bucket margarita mixer.

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Garnished with lined wheels. Served in a tall

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pollens glass. Combine ingredients with Big Buffy.

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Stir, seal, and open the vent. Freeze and serve.

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Enjoy, poggers. Have at it. Yes, it's true. Mark

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is an old bastard. It's also true that Mark uses

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a lot of ibuprofen. But Mark would like to tell

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you, if you see any pictures of him roofing ibuprofen,

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it's obviously fake, and you're to take the pictures

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and tear them up immediately. Enough! Deep thoughts

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with Mark. If a person must eat bread dough while

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having a yeast infection, would the bread then

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rise in their body? I may never know. Hey, look.

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I think we found land. Oh, my God. I think we're

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safe. Oh, no. It's an island of horrible jokes.

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I'm afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered.

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Yo mama's so depressing, blues singers come to

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visit her when they got writer's block. It's

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been proven. A laugh track boosts an audience

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enjoyment of the show greatly. Sadly, we don't

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get many laughs here at Two Douchebags and a

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Microphone. Vlad Rad took the liberty of sneaking

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into a funny popular podcast and secretly recording

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them. You will hear them periodically throughout

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the show. We hope this works. Don't have too

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much fun. Two Douchebags and a Microphone. I'm

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Mark here in the Kansas City vicinity. My angle

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arm is Lake of the Ozarks. That is the best arm

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at Lake of the Ozarks. It's spring fed. It is

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beautiful. So if you go to Lake of the Ozarks.

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It's actually the getaway arm. It's the quieter

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arm. Yeah, the one up the stream there is the

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party one with all the party boats. One down

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there are the ones that people that just want

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to hang out and get away from all that other

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stuff. It's more families on this side. Yeah,

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yeah. That's what I like about it. So if you're

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into shenanigans, go up Creek a little bit. If

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you're not, go down there where Rob is, Camden

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Ten Area. Yeah, and go to a safe beach. Yeah,

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no, no, unless you want a bunch of excitement.

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Do they still have a heavy police patrol there

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now? They did for a long time. Oh, yeah, we always

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do, man. At all times, we have Camden City, Camden

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County, which is based right up here at the square

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in canton okay and we have highway patrol okay

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hey stay around here too and you also you all

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said and we also have water patrol which is part

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of highway that's what i was getting ready to

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say yeah water patrol highway uh highway patrol

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everywhere oh yeah Yeah, and in case anyone doesn't

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know, well, let me tell you about a little something

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that used to go on, okay? And you just reminded

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me of this, so I'm kind of going off of what

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I was going to start to talk about. We'll get

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into that in a minute. Okay. I used to go over

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to Grove, Oklahoma, okay? And that is the Buffalo

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River, maybe? Does that sound about right? It

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goes through Northern Lake. Or is that? I don't

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know. Yeah, yeah, Grand Lake. Yeah, that's what

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I'm talking about. The river that feeds into

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it, is it the Buffalo? I know it's not the White

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River. That's... I think it's not. Yeah, White

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River is down around Springfield, isn't it? Yeah,

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yeah, and then it goes down towards... Yeah,

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I think you're right. I think it is the Buffalo.

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Okay. Well, I know this for a fact because I've

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seen this done. All right. You go down the Buffalo

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River, you know, and the dam for... Grand Lake

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of the Cherokees is over a little ways away.

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So you're going down the actual river that made

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the lake, okay? And if you keep going that way,

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you're going to end up in Missouri, okay? Now,

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people that are fishing don't realize where they're

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at. There's no marker. And as soon as they cross

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over into Missouri, they get a huge fine because

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most of them do not have a Missouri fishing license.

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Wasn't that crazy? Right. Yeah, they sit out

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there. They sit out there and they know where

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the line is. Or they used to. I don't know if

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they still do. But I saw this done right in front

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of us. And we turned around real quick and said,

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no, we're going to stay in Oklahoma, aren't we?

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And also, Grove is in a dry county. So right

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there at the Missouri State line is a liquor

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store. Yep. And they have the craziest laws,

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too. You have to have a trunk, I believe, or

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I don't know if it's still like this, but you

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remember when you had to have a trunk? You had

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to put the alcohol in. It had to be closed. It

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could not be in the cab. Yeah, and it also couldn't

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be in the back of a pickup truck either. Did

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you know that? No, I did not know that. Okay,

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they may not enforce it anymore, but that was

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true because we had one of Oklahoma's finest

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tell us that. He said, yeah, he goes, technically.

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He said that you really couldn't have it in the

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bed of your truck either, although most of them

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probably don't go that far unless you're being

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a real dick to them. That's one of those things,

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like you have to be a real dick, and then they're

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like, all right, well, let's see what's in the

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bed of this guy. And then that's when you can

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enforce it. But it's hard to believe there's

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still dry counties, isn't there? Yeah, yeah,

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there is. But I understand a lot of it's religious.

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Yeah, yeah, and you get over that part of Oklahoma,

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it is pretty religious in a lot of areas. So

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it's pretty much the Bible Belt down there, too.

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So, yeah, they don't believe in the drinking

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shenanigans. You keep that devil water away from

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them, right? Right, right. It's just devil water,

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isn't it? Straight from Satan's asshole. That's

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right. All right. Well... I was looking for a

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certain cigar for the cruise. I know I'm talking

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about the cruise a lot. I apologize. I'm all

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jazzed up. And this led me to this right here,

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what I used to do. I just remembered it. So I

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was looking for a CAO Cameroon wrapper. It's

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a South African wrapper that they put around

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it. And it is just, to me, I love it. I don't

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think they make them anymore. But it reminded

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me of what I used to do because I had those on

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the very first cruise I went on. And I just thought

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they were fantastic. And now it kind of brings

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back memories and stuff if I can get them. But

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I don't think they make them anymore. So, you

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always hear about the power of suggestion, right?

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Yeah. Okay. Well, I believe it to be true because

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I tried it for real. And it also worked on me.

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And I'm positive it exists. I've been talking

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about the cruise we're going on soon. I went

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to Mexico for the first time maybe, I don't know,

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20 years ago or so. and I used to buy these alleged

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Cuban cigars in Mexico until I was informed by

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a captain of one of the Carnival ships how to

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get the real Cubans in Mexico. You know, I would

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really think the cigars I bought previously,

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the fake Cubans, were the best cigar ever. You

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know what I mean? You just all of a sudden, you

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think it's the best cigar ever, and I'm kind

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of like ashamed to admit that I fell for it.

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I'm like, oh my God, these are great cigars.

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Until Captain Descalas informed me. Because he

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used to have these smokeouts on the way back.

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I've been on a couple of ships that he was a

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captain on, okay. And he's a cigar smoker. And

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he said, attention everybody. Come up on the

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top deck. Smoke your Cubans with me. Final night.

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Get it out of your system. Smoke them now. Back

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to reality tomorrow. So I went up there and it

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was just me and him. So anyhow, he said, you

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know. I'll tell you how to get real Cuban cigars.

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And I'm like, what? These aren't? And he took

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a look at him. He goes, nah. He goes, you see

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that band? See how shiny that is? Yeah. He has

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a real heavy Italian accent, too. I can't really

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duplicate it. But he goes, you'll see this rapper.

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You'll see how shiny it is. And I know I'm not

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sounding anything like him. And I go, yeah. He

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goes. Cuba, they never invest in their equipment.

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It's all old equipment. The Castro's won't let

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them. I'm like, wow, okay. So he said, you get

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a band from Cuba. It is not shiny. It's old.

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It's old looking and it's dull because of their

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old equipment. I'm like, oh, okay. He said, that's

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the first one. He said, the second one. It does.

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And I was like, wow, I never even thought about

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that. And so I look at all my cigars. Yeah, and

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now it's Raul, but I hear he's just the same,

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if not worse. But yeah, he used to make them

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use their old equipment, okay? So he would sell

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the, so they'd sell these cigars that were alleged

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Cubans, and they would have somebody around there,

00:12:11.950 --> 00:12:14.370
Cozumel or whatever, they would have them make

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these bands that were fake. Only they didn't

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really put that much into it, because the average

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American consumer doesn't have any idea, including

00:12:23.049 --> 00:12:25.690
me at the time. that they don't look like that.

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They're not shiny. And they don't come in a pretty

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box with a plastic glass on the front of it and

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all that. They don't. They're in an old wooden

00:12:35.809 --> 00:12:40.289
box that is usually burnt, you know, what the...

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Yeah. Yeah. And so, and then he showed me something

00:12:44.129 --> 00:12:47.490
else. He said, you see the end of this? It's

00:12:47.490 --> 00:12:50.409
got a Cuban pigtail on it. You pop that pigtail

00:12:50.409 --> 00:12:51.870
off, and it's supposed to give you the best dry

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ever. He said, if you pop that pigtail off, this

00:12:54.639 --> 00:12:57.460
is if you buy a Cuban pigtail cigar. It's got

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a little tie end on the end of it where they

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tied the leaf together. And you rip that off.

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And if it's not one of the best straws you've

00:13:09.139 --> 00:13:11.940
ever had, it's fake, too. He said, no. He said,

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this is something that they could not teach when

00:13:16.139 --> 00:13:19.059
they went to Miami or wherever they went, the

00:13:19.059 --> 00:13:21.350
old Cubans that used to roll. They didn't know

00:13:21.350 --> 00:13:23.470
how to teach it to people. You know, it was just

00:13:23.470 --> 00:13:25.250
something like ingrained in them. You know, when

00:13:25.250 --> 00:13:26.789
they were like three, they were sitting on their

00:13:26.789 --> 00:13:29.490
grandpa's lap rolling these, you know. So he

00:13:29.490 --> 00:13:31.990
said, you know, you pop this off, you smoke it,

00:13:32.029 --> 00:13:34.149
and if that draws off a little bit, if it's not

00:13:34.149 --> 00:13:36.549
one of the best draws you've ever had, that is

00:13:36.549 --> 00:13:39.370
not a Cuban cigar either. I'm like, okay. And

00:13:39.370 --> 00:13:42.309
he said, and if you don't have a pigtail, look

00:13:42.309 --> 00:13:44.129
at the end of it. He said, you're going to see

00:13:44.129 --> 00:13:47.289
three wrappers bound together, but they're going

00:13:47.289 --> 00:13:53.289
to look like... because they wrap one way, one

00:13:53.289 --> 00:13:55.009
way, one way, one way. Does that make sense?

00:13:56.809 --> 00:14:00.570
Yeah. It does to me. It does to me. Okay. At

00:14:00.570 --> 00:14:02.129
the very end of the cigar, it should look like

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diamonds because they do something where they

00:14:04.990 --> 00:14:07.210
wrap them really, really tight and close together,

00:14:07.409 --> 00:14:10.909
and that helps to draw. So people that are not,

00:14:10.950 --> 00:14:14.309
like, out of Cuba don't know how to do this,

00:14:14.350 --> 00:14:19.490
but the people in Cuba still do. And so he said,

00:14:19.549 --> 00:14:22.169
here's what you do. He said, you go down to the

00:14:22.169 --> 00:14:24.250
Captain's Palace, I believe was the name of it,

00:14:24.269 --> 00:14:26.330
or the Captain's Room or something like that.

00:14:26.730 --> 00:14:30.169
It's a cigar house, and it's on the main drag

00:14:30.169 --> 00:14:34.110
in Cozumel. At the time, there was only two ports.

00:14:34.210 --> 00:14:37.029
Now there's 20. So I can't tell you exactly where

00:14:37.029 --> 00:14:41.269
it's at, but I'm sure if you get to Cozumel,

00:14:41.389 --> 00:14:43.970
you can ask them, hey, where is this cigar shop

00:14:43.970 --> 00:14:46.710
at near the port? And they could direct you there.

00:14:46.870 --> 00:14:49.529
But like I said, there's 20 ports now. All I

00:14:49.529 --> 00:14:52.750
know is it's near Senior Frog's One Half, right

00:14:52.750 --> 00:14:56.809
there on the beach. So you go there, and you

00:14:56.809 --> 00:14:59.029
walk in there, and the first thing they go, hey,

00:14:59.029 --> 00:15:01.230
amigo, hey, hey, como here, I got your cigars

00:15:01.230 --> 00:15:02.809
for you. You want Cubans? And you're like, yeah,

00:15:02.850 --> 00:15:06.049
of course I want Cubans. And then they get you

00:15:06.049 --> 00:15:08.850
these alleged Cubans. As soon as he does that,

00:15:08.870 --> 00:15:12.750
you go, no, uh -uh. I'm here for Captain Descalas

00:15:12.750 --> 00:15:18.070
cigars. Don't fuck around with me. Oh, oh, okay,

00:15:18.210 --> 00:15:22.240
okay. They take you to another room with the

00:15:22.240 --> 00:15:24.860
Cubans, the real Cubans. Oh, okay. Yeah. So I

00:15:24.860 --> 00:15:27.899
walk in there and hear, ta -da! The room lit

00:15:27.899 --> 00:15:30.639
up and angels sang. I'm like, wow, this is fucking

00:15:30.639 --> 00:15:33.059
cool. So I'm like a kid in a candy store. The

00:15:33.059 --> 00:15:35.500
only thing is they're extremely expensive like

00:15:35.500 --> 00:15:37.600
I thought they would be. Oh, yeah. And that's

00:15:37.600 --> 00:15:40.580
the other rule about Cubans. You do not get a

00:15:40.580 --> 00:15:45.100
Cuban cigar for $20. No. You might as well look

00:15:45.100 --> 00:15:49.259
$45 to $50 at the least. If you want a really

00:15:49.259 --> 00:15:51.000
good Cuban, that's what you're going to pay for

00:15:51.000 --> 00:15:53.200
it because they don't make that many and they're

00:15:53.200 --> 00:15:56.480
in high demand. And pretty much the wealthy people,

00:15:56.559 --> 00:15:59.299
they go over to Cuba or wherever and they grab

00:15:59.299 --> 00:16:02.000
as many as they can for themselves and there's

00:16:02.000 --> 00:16:04.740
not that many left. So I go in the back room

00:16:04.740 --> 00:16:08.720
and I get these Cubans. So I had this boss at

00:16:08.720 --> 00:16:11.340
the time who was a real dickhead at my old company

00:16:11.340 --> 00:16:16.980
that I always make fun of. And I come back from

00:16:16.980 --> 00:16:19.279
a trip. And he's like, hey, did you get me any

00:16:19.279 --> 00:16:21.360
Cubans? And I'm like thinking, I fucking hate

00:16:21.360 --> 00:16:25.200
you. Why would I get you Cubans? And I go, oh,

00:16:25.220 --> 00:16:29.019
yeah, yeah, I sure did. I forgot to bring them

00:16:29.019 --> 00:16:31.720
in today. Oh, okay, cool. Yeah, I'll bring them

00:16:31.720 --> 00:16:35.860
in tomorrow. So I took the bands off of the alleged,

00:16:36.120 --> 00:16:39.539
well, I took the real Cuban bands and I put them

00:16:39.539 --> 00:16:43.960
on the fake Cuban cigars. This is complete, horrible

00:16:43.960 --> 00:16:48.240
ditch weed. I put the bands on there. And I come

00:16:48.240 --> 00:16:50.480
in a couple days later. There he is. I go, hey,

00:16:50.539 --> 00:16:53.620
I got your Cuban scars. Oh, no shit? Yeah, yeah,

00:16:53.659 --> 00:16:55.960
yeah. How much do I owe you for it? Nothing,

00:16:56.059 --> 00:17:00.860
nothing. And I hated the guy. And I think he

00:17:00.860 --> 00:17:02.600
thought I liked him after that. Well, he was

00:17:02.600 --> 00:17:06.500
wrong. So he smokes them up one night. A couple

00:17:06.500 --> 00:17:08.359
weeks later, he comes in and goes, man, you got

00:17:08.359 --> 00:17:11.210
any more of those? No, I didn't have any more

00:17:11.210 --> 00:17:12.950
bands. Otherwise, I would have sold him one for

00:17:12.950 --> 00:17:17.470
50 bucks. But I'm like, no, I don't have any.

00:17:17.690 --> 00:17:19.470
He goes, man, that was the best cigar I ever

00:17:19.470 --> 00:17:22.750
had. I go, I know, man. Could you taste that

00:17:22.750 --> 00:17:25.089
kind of vanilla minty flavor? I just made all

00:17:25.089 --> 00:17:28.589
this shit up, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And when

00:17:28.589 --> 00:17:30.329
it puffed, could you see like maybe a little

00:17:30.329 --> 00:17:33.240
touch of gray in it? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I

00:17:33.240 --> 00:17:35.299
go, man, I don't know how to describe them. They're

00:17:35.299 --> 00:17:37.319
the best cigar ever, aren't they? Oh, yeah, they

00:17:37.319 --> 00:17:39.339
are. Oh, my gosh, man. Thank you so much, Mark.

00:17:39.500 --> 00:17:41.619
I really appreciate it. Yeah, no problem, guy.

00:17:42.099 --> 00:17:44.799
Next time I go to Mexico, I'll get you some more,

00:17:44.900 --> 00:17:49.900
man. Okay, thank you. And then I started getting

00:17:49.900 --> 00:17:52.740
them from Canada because I go and see my relatives.

00:17:52.819 --> 00:17:54.819
Before COVID, I went up every year, but that

00:17:54.819 --> 00:17:58.880
put a big chunk out of it now. So I would buy.

00:17:59.420 --> 00:18:01.259
Cuban cigars from there and then I bring him

00:18:01.259 --> 00:18:03.220
back and I put the wrapper on there so every

00:18:03.220 --> 00:18:05.220
now and then I bring him a fake Cuban and he

00:18:05.220 --> 00:18:07.980
would just be so thankful and I was just laughing

00:18:07.980 --> 00:18:11.079
my ass off because he thought he really did he

00:18:11.079 --> 00:18:13.200
thought these cigars were the best things ever

00:18:13.200 --> 00:18:18.799
and then he ended up getting fired and I still

00:18:18.799 --> 00:18:21.519
had his home number because we needed it whenever

00:18:21.519 --> 00:18:23.700
we went out of town or something to you know

00:18:24.170 --> 00:18:26.829
Because to communicate, like I'd be in one hotel

00:18:26.829 --> 00:18:29.609
room, he'd be in another. And he'd go, hey, we're

00:18:29.609 --> 00:18:32.930
going to get up about 6 and get down there about

00:18:32.930 --> 00:18:35.549
6 .30. You know, we had to have each other's

00:18:35.549 --> 00:18:38.210
number. So I waited a couple months, and I sent

00:18:38.210 --> 00:18:41.089
him a message. He'd go, those were not Cuban

00:18:41.089 --> 00:18:46.950
cigars, you stupid ass. Those were ditch weed

00:18:46.950 --> 00:18:51.289
with a Cuban band. You're a fucking idiot. He

00:18:51.289 --> 00:18:56.660
never did answer me back. I, I seen him one time

00:18:56.660 --> 00:19:00.559
at Price Chopper and we met eyes. He turned around

00:19:00.559 --> 00:19:02.880
and walked the other way. I was like, that's

00:19:02.880 --> 00:19:05.140
right, bitch. That's right. You've been had.

00:19:05.500 --> 00:19:09.519
So, um, anyhow, you know, um, I just thought

00:19:09.519 --> 00:19:13.180
it was funny. So I, it was fun brutalizing the

00:19:13.180 --> 00:19:16.619
knuckle dragger like that because, um, he not

00:19:16.619 --> 00:19:18.599
only was he a dickhead, but he didn't know his

00:19:18.599 --> 00:19:23.240
job either. So, you know, It always is a good

00:19:23.240 --> 00:19:44.640
time. Do you want to do that to somebody? Can

00:19:44.640 --> 00:19:46.019
you think of somebody you want to do that to?

00:19:47.279 --> 00:19:49.619
I'll say I don't know. anybody smokes cigars

00:19:49.619 --> 00:19:58.839
okay well you can't do it to me okay so I want

00:19:58.839 --> 00:20:01.599
to get to this this isn't an apology because

00:20:01.599 --> 00:20:05.319
well they kind of they kind of met their own

00:20:05.319 --> 00:20:07.779
fate by the way they did things as far as I'm

00:20:07.779 --> 00:20:10.440
concerned they're not all bad but a lot of them

00:20:10.440 --> 00:20:13.819
are anyhow okay You know, I've been bagging on

00:20:13.819 --> 00:20:16.940
baseball for some time now, and I can admit when

00:20:16.940 --> 00:20:19.559
I'm wrong about a few of them, right? And remember,

00:20:19.720 --> 00:20:21.900
we're not the biggest baseball fans because of

00:20:21.900 --> 00:20:26.640
certain things, right? Right. Yeah, you know,

00:20:26.640 --> 00:20:30.400
the way it's set up, your team can't hardly win

00:20:30.400 --> 00:20:33.740
if you're a smaller market. The strike, they're

00:20:33.740 --> 00:20:37.700
serving. Yeah, it's not like football. There's

00:20:37.700 --> 00:20:41.299
not a salary cap. Each team, whatever money you

00:20:41.299 --> 00:20:44.920
bring, Yeah. And I do not like that. I think

00:20:44.920 --> 00:20:47.980
there should be a sour cap. There should be,

00:20:48.039 --> 00:20:51.460
but their union is so strong. And look, I'm retired

00:20:51.460 --> 00:20:54.640
from a union, okay? But there's got to be something

00:20:54.640 --> 00:20:58.720
within reason. And the reason I say that is because

00:20:58.720 --> 00:21:02.460
don't you want a fair... All the expensive players

00:21:02.460 --> 00:21:05.660
go to big markets because the Kansas City Royals,

00:21:05.720 --> 00:21:09.099
they are not even worth the YES Network that

00:21:09.099 --> 00:21:12.410
is the New York Yankee Network. That network

00:21:12.410 --> 00:21:15.150
alone, the New York Yankee network, serves so

00:21:15.150 --> 00:21:18.549
many people that they generate more revenue than

00:21:18.549 --> 00:21:21.730
the entire Kansas City Royals franchise. So when

00:21:21.730 --> 00:21:26.369
that happens... They have been for years. Yankees

00:21:26.369 --> 00:21:30.529
have been top of the chain for years. Yes. And

00:21:30.529 --> 00:21:34.589
that's how come larger markets can buy a championship,

00:21:34.890 --> 00:21:39.109
and we cannot. It's not fair, in my opinion.

00:21:40.319 --> 00:21:43.299
I do not agree with it. No, I don't either. I

00:21:43.299 --> 00:21:45.720
think it's bullshit, and I think people saying

00:21:45.720 --> 00:21:48.640
that know it's bullshit, but they're just trying

00:21:48.640 --> 00:21:50.880
to get their cash or whatever. That's the way

00:21:50.880 --> 00:21:54.319
I feel. I feel that they know it's bullshit,

00:21:54.440 --> 00:21:56.559
but they don't care because they're getting theirs.

00:21:57.059 --> 00:22:00.079
So I have to admit when I'm wrong about a few

00:22:00.079 --> 00:22:02.339
of them, okay? For instance, Salvador Perez,

00:22:02.480 --> 00:22:06.420
he's a fantastic person. You know, there's quite

00:22:06.420 --> 00:22:09.660
a few really good guys in MLB. I know this because

00:22:09.660 --> 00:22:11.759
there's quite a few of them. They do things.

00:22:11.920 --> 00:22:15.079
They do charity work. People meet them on the

00:22:15.079 --> 00:22:16.900
street. They're nice to them. They sign stuff

00:22:16.900 --> 00:22:20.400
for them. There are some good ones. In Houston,

00:22:20.440 --> 00:22:23.039
a man accidentally grabbed a home run ball that

00:22:23.039 --> 00:22:25.779
Mike Trout could have caught for an out. The

00:22:25.779 --> 00:22:28.839
man was so distraught. Yeah, he was so distraught.

00:22:28.920 --> 00:22:30.779
Did you see the guy? He didn't know what to do.

00:22:30.859 --> 00:22:34.660
It was out of reflexes. Yeah, I would have done

00:22:34.660 --> 00:22:36.240
the same thing. Wouldn't you? You'd have been

00:22:36.240 --> 00:22:37.660
like, oh, fuck, the ball's coming out. I better

00:22:37.660 --> 00:22:42.079
catch it. And it wasn't a Steve Bartman, I think

00:22:42.079 --> 00:22:44.799
was his name, in Chicago where he stole the ball.

00:22:45.279 --> 00:22:48.799
Stole the ball from the guy in the playoffs.

00:22:50.259 --> 00:22:55.880
So, anyhow. So, the guy was like freaked out,

00:22:55.920 --> 00:22:57.619
you know. He was really distraught. He didn't

00:22:57.619 --> 00:23:02.519
mean to do that. And so. Nobody knew this, but

00:23:02.519 --> 00:23:06.440
Mike Trout took and had security go get him.

00:23:06.539 --> 00:23:08.940
And everybody thought that he was being removed

00:23:08.940 --> 00:23:12.900
because of interference. And they're like, oh,

00:23:12.900 --> 00:23:15.200
man, they're kicking the guy out. And his son,

00:23:15.279 --> 00:23:17.420
too. So everybody's kind of like up in arms going,

00:23:17.480 --> 00:23:22.779
what the hell? So Trout had him taken back to

00:23:22.779 --> 00:23:28.539
the inside, whatever, the tunnel, I guess. And

00:23:28.539 --> 00:23:30.380
he said he wanted to talk to his man and his

00:23:30.380 --> 00:23:33.720
son. And he gave them a signed baseball bat and

00:23:33.720 --> 00:23:36.240
a signed baseball. And he told the guy that he

00:23:36.240 --> 00:23:39.160
knew that he didn't mean, you know, that it was

00:23:39.160 --> 00:23:41.460
out of reflexes and he could see how sorry he

00:23:41.460 --> 00:23:43.099
was and how distraught he was. And he just wanted

00:23:43.099 --> 00:23:45.900
to let him know, hey, I'm not mad at you. I understand.

00:23:46.180 --> 00:23:48.640
I would have done the same thing. And he gave

00:23:48.640 --> 00:23:50.980
that kid the thrill of his life. That kid was

00:23:50.980 --> 00:23:53.299
just like so ecstatic because he got to meet

00:23:53.299 --> 00:23:56.640
his idol. You know, Trout is one of the better

00:23:56.640 --> 00:23:59.480
baseball players and very well could be a Hall

00:23:59.480 --> 00:24:03.400
of Famer. But it's really cool to see one of

00:24:03.400 --> 00:24:10.619
them being that real, that generous, that caring.

00:24:11.200 --> 00:24:15.059
Showmanship, yeah. Yeah, so I got to admit, man,

00:24:15.180 --> 00:24:18.839
Trout is a great person. Like I said, Perez is

00:24:18.839 --> 00:24:20.559
a great person. We had some really good people

00:24:20.559 --> 00:24:22.920
here come through Kansas City. And actually,

00:24:23.019 --> 00:24:27.220
like Alex Gordon, there's a lot more that I could

00:24:27.220 --> 00:24:30.400
go on. There's a lot more of them that were really

00:24:30.400 --> 00:24:33.420
good people. So, you know, I bag on baseball

00:24:33.420 --> 00:24:35.700
and so do you, but it's just because we care

00:24:35.700 --> 00:24:38.799
about, we care enough about it to not want it

00:24:38.799 --> 00:24:41.279
to be ruined, which it pretty much is, you know,

00:24:41.279 --> 00:24:46.460
so. And then finally, Rob, I listened to the

00:24:46.460 --> 00:24:50.400
last podcast, right? And you brought up the story

00:24:50.400 --> 00:24:53.400
about Russian forces having a battle with aliens,

00:24:53.579 --> 00:24:57.640
right? The aliens unleashed a weapon that turned

00:24:57.640 --> 00:25:02.119
the forces into stone, right? Yes. That's what

00:25:02.119 --> 00:25:07.759
the story said. Okay. The aliens became one and

00:25:07.759 --> 00:25:12.940
fired a weapon that turned these soldiers into

00:25:12.940 --> 00:25:18.940
stone. Okay. All right. Well, I was thinking

00:25:18.940 --> 00:25:22.579
this. Actually, I got to, you know, I was thinking

00:25:22.579 --> 00:25:29.250
stone is a mineral. Like salt. And there's a

00:25:29.250 --> 00:25:34.150
story in the Bible very much like that. And also,

00:25:34.230 --> 00:25:36.369
the other thing is, and this is just me being

00:25:36.369 --> 00:25:39.430
conspiracy, that's all. Okay. Probably nothing

00:25:39.430 --> 00:25:41.529
to it, but I'm going to get people, hopefully

00:25:41.529 --> 00:25:46.829
get people to chatter about it. There's going

00:25:46.829 --> 00:25:50.430
to be a leader comes along near a tribulation

00:25:50.430 --> 00:25:57.289
that had a head wound but lived. Hmm. Let's see.

00:25:57.450 --> 00:26:01.750
When did that happen? Oh, wait a minute. That

00:26:01.750 --> 00:26:04.890
was earlier this year, wasn't it? Just something

00:26:04.890 --> 00:26:12.509
to think about. Nothing else. So, Rob, we turn

00:26:12.509 --> 00:26:16.369
it to you. Okay, I'm going to go into a totally

00:26:16.369 --> 00:26:19.549
different direction. Good, you need to. Thank

00:26:19.549 --> 00:26:24.630
you. You see, I'm doing what I do. You're doing

00:26:24.630 --> 00:26:31.279
what you do. Yeah, yeah. Never heard before music

00:26:31.279 --> 00:26:35.640
from Patsy Cline was released on Saturday. What

00:26:35.640 --> 00:26:40.900
the fuck? Yeah. Okay. According to people, a

00:26:40.900 --> 00:26:45.799
limited edition 2LP set of new recordings is

00:26:45.799 --> 00:26:49.559
now available. The full collection, imagine that.

00:26:49.640 --> 00:26:56.619
The lost recordings. 1954 and 1963. also set

00:26:56.619 --> 00:27:02.079
to be released as a two -CD set, which is the

00:27:02.079 --> 00:27:05.180
same day that the digital download will be available.

00:27:05.700 --> 00:27:10.819
There are 48 tracks, all live performances, and

00:27:10.819 --> 00:27:18.680
they will feature 15 never -released songs. Included

00:27:18.680 --> 00:27:23.059
in the release are new renditions of Crazy, I

00:27:23.059 --> 00:27:29.370
Fall to Pieces, and Walking After Midnight. Whoa.

00:27:29.370 --> 00:27:39.089
Who found these? It's not saying who's actually

00:27:39.089 --> 00:27:43.910
released it. It's evidently whoever's legally

00:27:43.910 --> 00:27:47.309
available to release them. Okay, yeah, because

00:27:47.309 --> 00:27:50.049
there's something that happened not too long

00:27:50.049 --> 00:27:53.650
ago, kind of long the same. Go ahead. No, wait

00:27:53.650 --> 00:28:00.119
a second. Klein's Patsy's daughter. Okay. Okay,

00:28:01.500 --> 00:28:10.259
cool. Yes. Okay, that's cool. It's been more

00:28:10.259 --> 00:28:17.000
than 60 years. Since she was killed. Wow. Okay.

00:28:17.200 --> 00:28:25.220
Actually, March 5th, 1963. Wow. Which is my birthday

00:28:25.220 --> 00:28:30.220
six years ago. before I was born. Wow. Yeah.

00:28:30.519 --> 00:28:35.180
Pretty cool. Does it say how her daughter discovered

00:28:35.180 --> 00:28:37.400
this music? Because that interests me for some

00:28:37.400 --> 00:28:46.019
reason. No, it don't. But I guarantee you they've

00:28:46.019 --> 00:28:49.920
had it. I guarantee the family and everybody's

00:28:49.920 --> 00:28:53.519
had it. Yeah, that's what... It's been well protected.

00:28:53.539 --> 00:28:56.650
It was Patsy Cline. Come on. Yeah, that's what

00:28:56.650 --> 00:28:58.509
I was thinking too. And, you know, maybe they

00:28:58.509 --> 00:29:00.809
got to look into funds and bank accounts and

00:29:00.809 --> 00:29:02.450
was like, you know, we need to release that.

00:29:02.809 --> 00:29:06.829
What I found interesting was last year, I believe

00:29:06.829 --> 00:29:12.130
it was last year, Black Sabbath released a tune

00:29:12.130 --> 00:29:14.650
with Ronnie James Dio that had never been released

00:29:14.650 --> 00:29:17.589
before. Now, everyone would think that would

00:29:17.589 --> 00:29:20.990
come from Wendy Dio, his widow, or from Tony

00:29:20.990 --> 00:29:24.500
Iommi. Right? You know, the leader of Sabbath

00:29:24.500 --> 00:29:28.859
pretty much, especially during the Dio era. But

00:29:28.859 --> 00:29:32.519
it didn't. It came from Jeff Nichols' son. Do

00:29:32.519 --> 00:29:38.660
you know who Jeff Nichols is? He was their keyboard

00:29:38.660 --> 00:29:42.500
player. He was not visible for years. But then

00:29:42.500 --> 00:29:47.000
after everybody left, except for Iommi, he had

00:29:47.000 --> 00:29:51.829
Nichols come out because his... His singer, Tony

00:29:51.829 --> 00:29:53.990
Martin, was not very photogenic and didn't have

00:29:53.990 --> 00:29:57.970
a lot of charisma. So Tony Iommi, since the whole

00:29:57.970 --> 00:30:02.210
feature was him, he had to do center stage. He

00:30:02.210 --> 00:30:04.630
was very uncomfortable with it. So he said, you

00:30:04.630 --> 00:30:06.809
know what, let's bring out the keyboard guy and

00:30:06.809 --> 00:30:09.309
we're going to have Tony Martin over here next

00:30:09.309 --> 00:30:12.650
to me and the bassist to the right. That way

00:30:12.650 --> 00:30:15.089
he would be more comfortable with it from what

00:30:15.089 --> 00:30:19.549
I read, right? But Jeff Nichols' son... He wasn't

00:30:19.549 --> 00:30:21.210
a keyboard player all the way through Sabbath.

00:30:21.289 --> 00:30:24.950
He was there for maybe 10 years. His son got

00:30:24.950 --> 00:30:29.529
this track of Ronnie James Dio era Sabbath, and

00:30:29.529 --> 00:30:35.049
it's called Slapback. And I found that odd that

00:30:35.049 --> 00:30:38.190
it was Jeff Nichols' son, because you wouldn't

00:30:38.190 --> 00:30:39.970
even think that Jeff Nichols, a keyboard player,

00:30:40.049 --> 00:30:43.789
would have had the music, right? Yeah. You would

00:30:43.789 --> 00:30:45.630
have thought it would have been Wendy Dio or

00:30:45.630 --> 00:30:49.099
Iommi or something like that. Or even Geezer

00:30:49.099 --> 00:30:51.880
Butler or something. But I thought that was interesting

00:30:51.880 --> 00:30:55.420
stuff. So this is her daughter, so I get it.

00:30:56.019 --> 00:30:59.960
And also, real quick, Tribulation is what happens.

00:31:00.519 --> 00:31:05.059
Revelation is a book where I was speaking of

00:31:05.059 --> 00:31:08.279
some of that stuff I was earlier. So all you

00:31:08.279 --> 00:31:10.039
emailers that are going to come in and gouge

00:31:10.039 --> 00:31:14.160
me, you can't now. There you go. Oh, new email.

00:31:14.440 --> 00:31:19.990
Two douches. Live .com. I know it works because

00:31:19.990 --> 00:31:21.670
I'm going to get to them in the emails here in

00:31:21.670 --> 00:31:24.650
a minute. So, anyhow, you want to take our first

00:31:24.650 --> 00:31:28.390
break? Yeah, sounds good. That'll happen then.

00:31:36.569 --> 00:31:45.089
And now, Deep Thoughts with Mark. Hmm. If James

00:31:45.089 --> 00:31:47.769
Bond is the most famous spy, Wouldn't that also

00:31:47.769 --> 00:31:55.849
make him the worst spy? Hey there, fuckstick.

00:31:56.349 --> 00:31:58.630
You're just in time for brand new feature news

00:31:58.630 --> 00:32:02.170
nobody gives a shit about. A man in Spain has

00:32:02.170 --> 00:32:07.509
collected over 3 ,470 cell phones. Now it's time

00:32:07.509 --> 00:32:10.089
for pickup lines from a loser. Do you believe

00:32:10.089 --> 00:32:13.930
in love at first sight? Or should I walk by again?

00:32:18.149 --> 00:32:22.970
You watched the news. It looks grim. Is an apocalypse

00:32:22.970 --> 00:32:26.809
inevitable? We suggest you download all our podcasts

00:32:26.809 --> 00:32:29.950
beforehand and have multiple mobile chargers.

00:32:30.269 --> 00:32:37.130
We have the post -apocalypse. Homemade dye from

00:32:37.130 --> 00:32:40.190
plants are essential. The dyes can be used to

00:32:40.190 --> 00:32:42.829
mark locations on trees, even to color clothing

00:32:42.829 --> 00:32:45.980
or to be laid out. to where footprints or paw

00:32:45.980 --> 00:32:48.859
prints could be left. The dye can be placed on

00:32:48.859 --> 00:32:51.480
the ground around the perimeter of your dwelling,

00:32:51.619 --> 00:32:54.200
so if you have to leave, evidence will be present

00:32:54.200 --> 00:33:09.720
to assess the situation. To radiation. Watch

00:33:09.720 --> 00:33:14.440
him glow. Watch Rob Red jump up 25 feet and grab

00:33:14.440 --> 00:33:17.980
birds out of thin air with his mouth. With his

00:33:17.980 --> 00:33:22.099
mouth! Rob can now be a mentor for children's

00:33:22.099 --> 00:33:25.819
parties and bar mitzvahs. That's right. Come

00:33:25.819 --> 00:33:28.839
on and rent you a Rob today. That's right. Come

00:33:28.839 --> 00:33:34.700
by and rent Rob for a day. A day! A day! Watch

00:33:34.700 --> 00:33:37.619
Rob consume seven bottles of night cream and

00:33:37.619 --> 00:33:42.039
still break dance in New York. Watch Rob Redd

00:33:42.039 --> 00:33:46.799
fart down a building. Fart down a building! Rob

00:33:46.799 --> 00:33:49.359
Redd assumes no responsibility whatsoever. He

00:33:49.359 --> 00:33:51.259
is not a babysitter and he doesn't give one hell

00:33:51.259 --> 00:33:52.819
of a shit about your children. Please remember

00:33:52.819 --> 00:33:55.349
to corral every little bastard you have. Before

00:33:55.349 --> 00:33:57.509
Rob gets there, and Walt will not put up with

00:33:57.509 --> 00:33:59.809
any backtalk, he will promptly get them in the

00:33:59.809 --> 00:34:02.250
place. Rob Rehag assumes no responsibility for

00:34:02.250 --> 00:34:04.109
anything that could be stolen from his visit.

00:34:04.190 --> 00:34:06.549
Rob Rehag has no responsibility whatsoever in

00:34:06.549 --> 00:34:09.570
any help him of any situation. Read a Rob today.

00:34:10.030 --> 00:34:12.409
Harambe used to listen to our original show,

00:34:12.530 --> 00:34:14.869
Two Dipshits and Cheek Radio Shack Realistic

00:34:14.869 --> 00:34:18.070
Tape Recorder. Harambe does not listen to our

00:34:18.070 --> 00:34:20.570
original show, Two Dipshits and Cheek Radio Shack

00:34:20.570 --> 00:34:23.940
Realistic Tape Recorder anymore. You might ask

00:34:23.940 --> 00:34:26.519
why Harambe never listens to our original show,

00:34:26.659 --> 00:34:28.599
Too Dipshits, in a cheap Radio Shack realistic

00:34:28.599 --> 00:34:32.019
tape recorder. Well, it's because Harambe is

00:34:32.019 --> 00:34:34.679
dead. Senselessly murdered because some idiot

00:34:34.679 --> 00:34:36.760
did not watch her child properly while looking

00:34:36.760 --> 00:34:39.579
on her phone. Sadly, Harambe does not listen

00:34:39.579 --> 00:34:41.679
to our original show, Too Dipshits, in the cheap

00:34:41.679 --> 00:34:44.539
Radio Shack realistic tape recorder, or any other

00:34:44.539 --> 00:34:49.079
show. Anymore. Sorry, Harambe. Two douchebags

00:34:49.079 --> 00:34:52.260
and a microphone, as entertaining as a botulism

00:34:52.260 --> 00:34:55.199
burp. Have you ever wondered what something is

00:34:55.199 --> 00:34:57.360
about? Have you ever looked at something and

00:34:57.360 --> 00:34:59.659
said, hmm, I wonder what the origin of that is?

00:35:00.239 --> 00:35:03.920
Well, so have we. That's why we give you The

00:35:03.920 --> 00:35:08.150
Origin Of. The origin of smoke detectors. Different

00:35:08.150 --> 00:35:10.510
versions of smoke and heat detectors have been

00:35:10.510 --> 00:35:13.909
around since the late 1800s. But a key step in

00:35:13.909 --> 00:35:16.750
the invention's evolution came from a Swiss physicist

00:35:16.750 --> 00:35:20.489
named Walter Jaeger. The story goes that Jaeger

00:35:20.489 --> 00:35:22.449
was trying to create a device that would detect

00:35:22.449 --> 00:35:25.590
poisonous gas. It didn't work. One day he lit

00:35:25.590 --> 00:35:28.449
up a cigarette in Viola. His failed poison detector

00:35:28.449 --> 00:35:32.250
became itself an effective smoke detector. So

00:35:32.250 --> 00:35:37.150
there you go. Hi there. This is your ears. Why

00:35:37.150 --> 00:35:40.650
are you listening to this garbage? I thought

00:35:40.650 --> 00:35:44.190
we were friends. Two douchebags and microphone.

00:35:44.369 --> 00:35:48.010
This is Mark in the Kansas City chapter. And

00:35:48.010 --> 00:35:52.250
I am Rob at the beautiful triangle arm of Lake

00:35:52.250 --> 00:35:55.429
of the Ozarks. All right, awesome. I just got

00:35:55.429 --> 00:35:57.929
thinking while we were on break. Uh -huh. I'm

00:35:57.929 --> 00:36:05.059
going to go down to the bridge. You know what?

00:36:05.079 --> 00:36:07.679
Let's see how beautiful it is. It is. It's a

00:36:07.679 --> 00:36:10.699
beautiful lake. So, especially that area there.

00:36:10.900 --> 00:36:13.380
And then you start getting into the, is it the

00:36:13.380 --> 00:36:15.699
Mark Twain Forest behind you there just to the

00:36:15.699 --> 00:36:20.639
south, I think? No, Mark Twain is like east.

00:36:20.960 --> 00:36:24.460
Southwest. Southwest. Okay. Southeast. Southeast.

00:36:24.800 --> 00:36:28.079
That's right. Okay. It's more down around West

00:36:28.079 --> 00:36:33.889
Plains. Okay. Okay. You want to get into some

00:36:33.889 --> 00:36:38.250
emails? Yes. You know I always want emails. This

00:36:38.250 --> 00:36:41.829
is the best. Same here. I love them. The people

00:36:41.829 --> 00:36:44.429
that write us are insane, but very entertaining.

00:36:46.630 --> 00:36:51.550
Just like us, or we think. I tried the new email.

00:36:51.730 --> 00:36:55.530
Did you receive it? No name or nothing. Yeah.

00:36:56.150 --> 00:36:58.829
Whoever you are, I received it. That's because

00:36:58.829 --> 00:37:03.909
I just read it. No name on the address or nothing.

00:37:04.269 --> 00:37:07.070
I tried to do the email. Did you receive it?

00:37:08.110 --> 00:37:16.110
Yeah? There you go. We got it. Alright. Hey guys.

00:37:16.389 --> 00:37:19.730
I now have my own podcast. It's the Mitch and

00:37:19.730 --> 00:37:22.309
Clint show. One guy is clever and one guy is

00:37:22.309 --> 00:37:25.409
a mongoloid. It will be like the odd couple.

00:37:25.789 --> 00:37:33.940
Clint is a mongoloid. Mitch. be told, Mitch,

00:37:34.139 --> 00:37:37.659
you did not have to tell us that. We knew that

00:37:37.659 --> 00:37:40.480
part. Yeah, I know. Yeah, you're talking about

00:37:40.480 --> 00:37:43.340
overkill. We knew. We knew. We knew that Clint

00:37:43.340 --> 00:37:52.300
is a mongoloid. We knew. Mitch also sent us,

00:37:52.380 --> 00:37:54.940
I think he did another one here, too. You know

00:37:54.940 --> 00:37:57.519
what? Or maybe I didn't get that one yet. Okay.

00:37:58.159 --> 00:38:01.630
And it's signed. Mitch on his voice texting 5G

00:38:01.630 --> 00:38:04.170
going through the one house and the two lots

00:38:04.170 --> 00:38:10.030
known as Gun City. I know where Gun City is.

00:38:10.289 --> 00:38:13.469
Yeah, we discussed it, I think, one time. It's

00:38:13.469 --> 00:38:16.469
a burnt -down church, a burnt -down bar, like

00:38:16.469 --> 00:38:21.510
one house. You're talking about a town that had

00:38:21.510 --> 00:38:27.030
some fucking problems. Yeah, okay, well, I hope

00:38:27.030 --> 00:38:29.400
you had fun going through Gun City. I guess.

00:38:29.639 --> 00:38:32.800
I'm starting to wonder if they've turned down

00:38:32.800 --> 00:38:36.280
the Montrose. Our plant didn't get Mitch on the

00:38:36.280 --> 00:38:39.340
run. I'm thinking he started out Montrose. I'm

00:38:39.340 --> 00:38:42.659
pretty sure he did, too. He was going to supply

00:38:42.659 --> 00:38:49.440
us power with an extension cord. Remember? Yes.

00:38:49.440 --> 00:38:53.119
Oh, yeah. It was him. I think so. He's on the

00:38:53.119 --> 00:38:56.099
run now. Now that you've said that, I knew he

00:38:56.099 --> 00:39:00.119
was from somewhere before. He's on the run. That's

00:39:00.119 --> 00:39:03.880
funny. Well, he has a lake house and a beautiful,

00:39:04.559 --> 00:39:07.219
massive creek. It sounds like he's doing great

00:39:07.219 --> 00:39:10.039
for himself. Yeah, I mean, he has all these houses.

00:39:10.179 --> 00:39:15.599
I mean, shoot. Mitch, yeah, he's a man, man.

00:39:15.659 --> 00:39:18.599
He's everywhere, too. I mean, you know, shit,

00:39:18.679 --> 00:39:23.199
he's in Knoblick, Gun City, where else? Montrose.

00:39:23.460 --> 00:39:26.880
I mean, he's covering all the big tourist areas,

00:39:27.019 --> 00:39:32.960
right? Freeman Lake. Oh, how could I forget Freeman

00:39:32.960 --> 00:39:36.059
Lake? Huge tourist attraction. People come from

00:39:36.059 --> 00:39:38.219
all over the world for Freeman Lake Massey Creek

00:39:38.219 --> 00:39:44.119
Arm. They know about it. So, all right. Douches,

00:39:44.119 --> 00:39:47.480
I have now successfully moved and can listen

00:39:47.480 --> 00:39:50.139
more regularly. I'm really liking the Mitch dude.

00:39:50.480 --> 00:39:54.500
Is he a real emailer or is he a character? Ronnie

00:39:54.500 --> 00:39:57.199
and Tulsa, the Tulsa King. Just one question.

00:39:57.280 --> 00:40:00.099
Oh, I'll get to that here in a minute. Yeah,

00:40:00.099 --> 00:40:06.300
he's real. Ronnie, he's as real as you. That's

00:40:06.300 --> 00:40:10.320
the funny part. Yeah. This guy has been writing

00:40:10.320 --> 00:40:15.400
us from almost day one. I mean, he's, yeah, he's

00:40:15.400 --> 00:40:19.139
real. We got to get him on the show. We do. He

00:40:19.139 --> 00:40:24.440
promised, and so did Ronnie, and, oh, and Clint

00:40:24.440 --> 00:40:27.300
said he would, I could call him up, and him and

00:40:27.300 --> 00:40:32.070
I would have a debate. So we'll see how that

00:40:32.070 --> 00:40:37.269
goes. I don't know. Hey, hey, let's take that

00:40:37.269 --> 00:40:41.610
one up for a vote. Yeah, you know what? Who wants

00:40:41.610 --> 00:40:46.949
to hear Mark and Clint have a debate? You know

00:40:46.949 --> 00:40:52.110
what? I don't know how to speak Mongo, so maybe

00:40:52.110 --> 00:40:57.449
I shouldn't. Just one question today. This is

00:40:57.449 --> 00:41:00.570
still from Ronnie in Tulsa. Tulsa King. Just

00:41:00.570 --> 00:41:03.250
one question today. If you were to form a super

00:41:03.250 --> 00:41:06.030
group of four musicians, who would they be and

00:41:06.030 --> 00:41:08.769
why? You want to try that right now or you want

00:41:08.769 --> 00:41:12.409
to come back with it later? Sorry, I didn't.

00:41:13.449 --> 00:41:16.190
Yeah, let me. I'm going to have to give that

00:41:16.190 --> 00:41:20.269
what you thought. Me too. Four musicians. Four

00:41:20.269 --> 00:41:25.030
musicians only. Okay. And the super group and

00:41:25.030 --> 00:41:28.909
why you would pick those people. So, Ronnie Goodwin.

00:41:28.969 --> 00:41:35.050
Oh. Right back at you. So, all right. Sorry,

00:41:36.409 --> 00:41:40.130
I forgot. I usually try to prep you with a question

00:41:40.130 --> 00:41:42.090
like that. I'd forgotten all about that part

00:41:42.090 --> 00:41:45.590
of it. I just remember the part about him liking

00:41:45.590 --> 00:41:47.690
Mitch and thinking he wasn't real or something.

00:41:47.869 --> 00:41:50.809
So, anyhow. All right. Mark and Rob, what was

00:41:50.809 --> 00:41:53.949
better, Twilight Zone, Night Gallery, or the

00:41:53.949 --> 00:41:56.750
Night Stalker? Corn Bacon, Maryland Heights,

00:41:56.909 --> 00:42:00.500
Missouri. Or better yet, rate them from first

00:42:00.500 --> 00:42:06.460
to worst. I'm going to have to go Twilight Zone.

00:42:06.980 --> 00:42:10.500
I'm going to have to go Night Stalker. Then Twilight

00:42:10.500 --> 00:42:14.920
Zone. Yeah. Cold Shack, the Night Stalker to

00:42:14.920 --> 00:42:17.880
me, was like one of the perfect shows. It scared

00:42:17.880 --> 00:42:20.800
the hell out of me. But you know what? No, no,

00:42:20.800 --> 00:42:24.980
no, no. Actually, Twilight Zone. I was more the

00:42:24.980 --> 00:42:28.980
weird type. Actually, I'm going Twilight Zone,

00:42:29.019 --> 00:42:31.380
too, after I thought about it. But a close second

00:42:31.380 --> 00:42:36.219
would be, to me, Twilight Zone, Night Stalker,

00:42:36.320 --> 00:42:38.719
and then Night Gallery. What about you, Rob?

00:42:41.239 --> 00:42:44.059
I would put him in that same exact order, but

00:42:44.059 --> 00:42:49.119
I would have to put Twilight Zone a little further

00:42:49.119 --> 00:42:54.679
up than you. You know what? Actually, you know

00:42:54.679 --> 00:42:56.420
what? I watch it all the time. You're right.

00:42:57.039 --> 00:42:59.920
Rod Serling, I mean, the whole introduction,

00:43:00.179 --> 00:43:03.860
it was so weird and so odd. Yeah, it was so weird,

00:43:03.920 --> 00:43:06.760
and you really had to get into it to understand.

00:43:06.760 --> 00:43:10.019
It was extremely thought -provoking, and it was

00:43:10.019 --> 00:43:12.420
eerie, and it was scary. So, all right, I'm going

00:43:12.420 --> 00:43:15.039
to have to put Twilight Zone ahead of them by

00:43:15.039 --> 00:43:18.239
a good little margin. And then the Night Stalker

00:43:18.239 --> 00:43:22.340
was more scary, scary. Yeah, yeah, it was. It

00:43:22.340 --> 00:43:27.559
was. And Kolchak was the... big guy or the main

00:43:27.559 --> 00:43:30.280
character and he got himself in some pretty scary

00:43:30.280 --> 00:43:33.659
situations that I loved as a child probably still

00:43:33.659 --> 00:43:37.599
love him if I watched it and then Night Stalker

00:43:37.599 --> 00:43:43.500
or no no no Night Gallery um Night Gallery was

00:43:43.500 --> 00:43:46.239
good but I think the other two were far better

00:43:46.239 --> 00:43:53.460
what do you think yeah I I would keep it right

00:43:53.460 --> 00:44:02.980
like that Okay. All right. Cool. Corn Bake in

00:44:02.980 --> 00:44:07.800
Maryland Heights, Missouri. Okay. Thank you,

00:44:07.820 --> 00:44:11.699
Corn. I guess that'd be his first name. Mark,

00:44:11.840 --> 00:44:15.860
the transcripts are not that horrible. I'm not

00:44:15.860 --> 00:44:18.360
sure what that mailer was looking at. Terry in

00:44:18.360 --> 00:44:23.079
Wichita. They're really not. They miss some words,

00:44:23.179 --> 00:44:26.940
but man, I see typos and wrong words all the

00:44:26.940 --> 00:44:31.699
time on closed caption on TV. Exactly. Yeah,

00:44:31.739 --> 00:44:35.539
I think AI does that too. And AI does not get

00:44:35.539 --> 00:44:39.099
everything perfect, as we all know. And I think

00:44:39.099 --> 00:44:41.699
that just the fact that we can get somewhere

00:44:41.699 --> 00:44:45.519
in the ballpark for people that are... I've never

00:44:45.519 --> 00:44:48.800
been interested in transcripts. I mean, I...

00:44:48.969 --> 00:44:50.929
didn't want to read. You know, if I want to read

00:44:50.929 --> 00:44:55.050
a book, I'll read a book. Okay, I was just going

00:44:55.050 --> 00:44:59.130
to say, I don't read them either. No, I don't

00:44:59.130 --> 00:45:02.130
think they're that important. I listen to our

00:45:02.130 --> 00:45:07.110
recordings and that's it. Yeah, me too. I don't

00:45:07.110 --> 00:45:09.329
want to read it. I don't have time to read it.

00:45:11.250 --> 00:45:13.289
No, that's the same way I look at it too. I mean,

00:45:13.289 --> 00:45:15.070
if I wanted to read a book, I would read a book.

00:45:16.170 --> 00:45:19.809
Right. I mean, it's only been a couple people

00:45:19.809 --> 00:45:21.789
that bitched about him, honestly, to be fair.

00:45:22.090 --> 00:45:27.050
I know. And they're not that bad. So, yeah, you

00:45:27.050 --> 00:45:33.130
know what? I agree with you. Terry. Terry in

00:45:33.130 --> 00:45:36.849
Wichita. Thank you. All right. And Rob agrees

00:45:36.849 --> 00:45:38.849
with you, too. So that's a two for us. So there

00:45:38.849 --> 00:45:42.809
you go. It's two for Tuesday, right? Yep. All

00:45:42.809 --> 00:45:45.730
right. There we go. All right. Mark, I dream

00:45:45.730 --> 00:45:48.300
of kicking you right in the ass repeatedly. Josh

00:45:48.300 --> 00:45:51.699
in Huntington. I don't know where Huntington

00:45:51.699 --> 00:45:57.559
is, but anyhow. Josh, any day. Oh, go ahead.

00:45:57.619 --> 00:46:04.679
What? I'm on it. Okay. Thank you. Okay. You need

00:46:04.679 --> 00:46:08.420
to aim higher, Josh, or get a hobby. I'm thinking

00:46:08.420 --> 00:46:11.179
a good hobby for you would be a lead paint remover.

00:46:12.699 --> 00:46:19.179
That's a great hobby for you, Josh. So, okay.

00:46:22.860 --> 00:46:26.000
All right. I will donate the material. Okay,

00:46:26.000 --> 00:46:31.059
I found a Huntington in West Virginia, Ohio,

00:46:31.480 --> 00:46:34.260
Kentucky, where it's a point where they all meet.

00:46:34.639 --> 00:46:38.900
I'm going to say Ohio because it's probably Ruth

00:46:38.900 --> 00:46:44.320
Ann's neighbor. Oh, no, no, it's a point. Oh,

00:46:44.320 --> 00:46:47.039
a point? Okay, here it is. Here's one in Indiana.

00:46:47.519 --> 00:46:53.380
Okay. Or Township, Huntington, Long Island, New

00:46:53.380 --> 00:47:00.619
York. Oh, this could be anywhere. Yeah. Well,

00:47:00.719 --> 00:47:05.500
I would tell Josh to write us and let us know

00:47:05.500 --> 00:47:07.079
where he's at, but I don't think we necessarily

00:47:07.079 --> 00:47:11.000
give a shit, do we? No, not at that point. Okay.

00:47:11.300 --> 00:47:14.300
Maybe look it up. There's too many places he

00:47:14.300 --> 00:47:16.599
could be. Okay. I'd be following you all, though.

00:47:17.199 --> 00:47:20.360
Yeah, okay. Josh, we don't care enough to know

00:47:20.360 --> 00:47:23.619
where you're at. All right. Next one. I will

00:47:23.619 --> 00:47:25.860
donate the material for the Sgt. Pepper's outfit

00:47:25.860 --> 00:47:32.219
for Jeffy X. Stanley in Oak Lane, Florida. Thank

00:47:32.219 --> 00:47:36.280
you. There we go. Now you got material to work

00:47:36.280 --> 00:47:38.659
with. You see, Rob has been dishing out his own

00:47:38.659 --> 00:47:41.760
cash for all this material, and he's kind of

00:47:41.760 --> 00:47:48.530
disappointed. Oh, go ahead. seven duck. Wow.

00:47:48.630 --> 00:47:51.889
I managed to get three duck. Okay, Stanley, will

00:47:51.889 --> 00:47:54.550
you send him the rest of the material? Yeah,

00:47:54.869 --> 00:48:00.150
that would be great. Alright, Stanley, you can

00:48:00.150 --> 00:48:02.750
go to the Facebook page and get Rob's email there

00:48:02.750 --> 00:48:06.889
and let him know. Let him know where you can

00:48:06.889 --> 00:48:09.150
pick this material up or where you have to send

00:48:09.150 --> 00:48:13.429
it. So thank you, Stanley. Yeah, I would rather

00:48:13.429 --> 00:48:19.179
just have the material. There you go. You see,

00:48:19.239 --> 00:48:21.820
Rob is a true man on a mission. He just wants

00:48:21.820 --> 00:48:24.099
the material so he can make... Yeah, I just need

00:48:24.099 --> 00:48:27.019
the material. He needs to make these Sgt. Pepper

00:48:27.019 --> 00:48:30.119
outfits for our dear friend Jeffy X. He risks

00:48:30.119 --> 00:48:32.920
his life every time getting these products that

00:48:32.920 --> 00:48:35.000
didn't work out, and we appreciate it. Yeah,

00:48:35.000 --> 00:48:38.900
I'm going to be too short. Too outfit short.

00:48:39.300 --> 00:48:41.920
All right, so this is where Stanley comes in.

00:48:41.960 --> 00:48:45.300
Thank you, Stanley. Thank you. If anyone wants

00:48:45.300 --> 00:48:48.590
to donate beer or alcohol of any sort, We can

00:48:48.590 --> 00:48:55.730
arrange for that, too, right? We can. All right.

00:48:57.329 --> 00:49:01.789
Or cocaine or hookers. We can arrange to intercept

00:49:01.789 --> 00:49:05.150
any of those, too. That's if we broke the law,

00:49:05.210 --> 00:49:08.329
but we don't break the law, right? We don't.

00:49:08.329 --> 00:49:12.309
Okay. All right. Who was better, Kurt Cobain

00:49:12.309 --> 00:49:15.809
or Layne Staley? llama farmer owner Mitch at

00:49:15.809 --> 00:49:18.550
his llama farm guest house at the beautiful Massey

00:49:18.550 --> 00:49:24.769
Creek arm of Freeman Lake. I told you Mitch did

00:49:24.769 --> 00:49:26.769
two of them. I didn't know I had this one down.

00:49:26.889 --> 00:49:33.070
Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to say Lane Staley. Damn.

00:49:33.230 --> 00:49:37.230
He had a hard... I was edging towards Lane myself.

00:49:39.110 --> 00:49:43.579
Yeah. Yes. I like Lane's power. Much better than

00:49:43.579 --> 00:49:48.079
Cobain's. Cobain's was more angry, where Layne

00:49:48.079 --> 00:49:50.480
Staley had a very similar voice, but with more

00:49:50.480 --> 00:49:54.679
power behind it. And I think he was a better

00:49:54.679 --> 00:49:59.360
singer and could harmonize better. Yes. Yeah.

00:49:59.360 --> 00:50:02.760
Well put. Well put. Okay. Yeah, Layne Staley.

00:50:03.579 --> 00:50:08.719
All right. Rob, let's go to you. All right. Well,

00:50:08.880 --> 00:50:45.320
while we're talking about music. Cool. Fuck that.

00:51:19.809 --> 00:51:22.469
That's better. He didn't like Gene Simmons' bullshit

00:51:22.469 --> 00:51:24.309
about hauling around his equipment and paying

00:51:24.309 --> 00:51:33.409
$12 ,000. Yeah, I kind of like this because if

00:51:33.409 --> 00:51:35.329
you're that big a fan, you're going to do it.

00:51:35.369 --> 00:51:37.849
You're like, hey, I finally got to do this. You

00:51:37.849 --> 00:51:41.170
know, a huge Bon Jovi fan my whole life. They

00:51:41.170 --> 00:51:43.489
actually give you a little bang for your buck

00:51:43.489 --> 00:51:45.730
where Gene Simmons is probably going to be, in

00:51:45.730 --> 00:51:47.289
my opinion, probably going to be an asshole to

00:51:47.289 --> 00:51:49.900
you and take your $12 ,000. You're going to haul

00:51:49.900 --> 00:51:54.519
around his amps. Well, here's the part I like.

00:51:54.920 --> 00:52:01.780
It's at his own venue at his restaurant there

00:52:01.780 --> 00:52:06.860
in Nashville. Uh -huh. So it's a smaller venue,

00:52:07.059 --> 00:52:11.099
so it would be more intimate. Yeah. Yeah, I think

00:52:11.099 --> 00:52:13.480
that would be worth it. I think I agree with

00:52:13.480 --> 00:52:16.380
that. I think that's awesome. Yeah. If I was

00:52:16.380 --> 00:52:19.139
that big of a Bon Jovi fan. In quotation marks,

00:52:19.400 --> 00:52:24.980
special gift. I hear it's Bon Jovi's underwear.

00:52:28.559 --> 00:52:32.420
Hey, I could hang him up in the studio. Rob,

00:52:32.460 --> 00:52:36.699
you gotta go. You gotta get his hands. Can't

00:52:36.699 --> 00:52:45.489
wait to get your hands on his underwear. Let's

00:52:45.489 --> 00:52:47.349
see, where the hell was that? Is that it, Rob?

00:52:48.389 --> 00:52:51.789
Yeah, that's pretty much all I need to read on

00:52:51.789 --> 00:52:54.469
that one. I think they might bottle Bon Jovi's

00:52:54.469 --> 00:52:57.110
farts and give them to people as they're walking

00:52:57.110 --> 00:53:05.190
in. What do you think? No? I don't know. Maybe

00:53:05.190 --> 00:53:09.230
not. That's just me. It might be. It might be.

00:53:09.369 --> 00:53:12.980
It might be. It might be. Yeah, that'd be cool,

00:53:13.019 --> 00:53:15.739
you know. Hey, what's in the bottle? Bon Jovi's

00:53:15.739 --> 00:53:20.239
farts. Huh? Yeah, yeah. I went to Nashville at

00:53:20.239 --> 00:53:24.199
his place there, his venue, and, well, the special

00:53:24.199 --> 00:53:28.179
gift was a bottle of his farts. What? Yeah, he

00:53:28.179 --> 00:53:31.320
farted in this bottle. No shit? Yeah, yeah, this

00:53:31.320 --> 00:53:35.500
bottle right here. All right, and next. Oh, Loch

00:53:35.500 --> 00:53:38.800
Ness Monster camera deployed in 1970 is pulled

00:53:38.800 --> 00:53:42.539
up from water after 55 years with eerie photos

00:53:42.539 --> 00:53:46.480
revealed, Rob. Yep. We haven't heard about the

00:53:46.480 --> 00:53:50.860
Loch Ness Monster in a while, have we? Actually,

00:53:50.940 --> 00:53:54.880
I read something like last week and it was on

00:53:54.880 --> 00:53:57.940
my list and I never got around to it. Oh, okay.

00:53:58.099 --> 00:54:03.320
Okay. No, that's cool. These secrets have been

00:54:03.320 --> 00:54:06.719
locked away for over a half a century. An underwater

00:54:06.719 --> 00:54:09.539
camera deployed in 1970 in an attempt to capture

00:54:09.539 --> 00:54:12.079
images of the Loch Ness Monster was accidentally

00:54:12.079 --> 00:54:15.579
recovered. But it boasts some incredible photos.

00:54:16.440 --> 00:54:19.679
It is remarkable that the housing has kept the

00:54:19.679 --> 00:54:22.519
camera dry for the last 55 years. That is pretty

00:54:22.519 --> 00:54:25.760
good. Now, if that had been in the ocean, that

00:54:25.760 --> 00:54:27.179
would be a different story because of the salt.

00:54:27.320 --> 00:54:30.000
But it being in a deep lake, that's pretty good

00:54:30.000 --> 00:54:32.900
still. Adrian Shine of the Loch Ness Project,

00:54:33.260 --> 00:54:36.500
which has been hunting for Nessie since 1970s.

00:54:36.500 --> 00:54:38.800
That's what the cool kids call Loch Ness is Nessie,

00:54:38.800 --> 00:54:42.760
right? Right. We sit around looking dangerous.

00:54:42.860 --> 00:54:46.840
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's right. We smoke Marlboro

00:54:46.840 --> 00:54:49.539
Reds and talk about Nessie because we're cool.

00:54:49.820 --> 00:54:55.400
Oh, and I roll my jeans up too. They told the

00:54:55.400 --> 00:54:59.480
BBC after identifying the aquatic recorder. The

00:54:59.480 --> 00:55:02.199
gadget was one of six cameras sent down into

00:55:02.199 --> 00:55:06.880
a submersible known as Boaty McBoatface. I'm

00:55:06.880 --> 00:55:10.780
not kidding you. It is, but really nothing else.

00:55:12.619 --> 00:55:16.340
Honestly, I think there's six of them. Six of

00:55:16.340 --> 00:55:18.980
them? That makes sense. They're a family. Yeah.

00:55:19.380 --> 00:55:21.920
They're a family of Loch Ness's or whatever.

00:55:22.199 --> 00:55:26.239
Yeah. Particularly. I've had four kids. Yeah.

00:55:26.320 --> 00:55:32.400
Particularly. Let's take our second break. What?

00:55:32.719 --> 00:55:36.360
Yeah, take your second break. But heck, I'd still

00:55:36.360 --> 00:55:48.199
do that. Be right back. Introducing Rob Rad's

00:55:48.199 --> 00:55:51.559
new book, How to Track Your Enemy by Scent. That's

00:55:51.559 --> 00:55:53.940
right, smell your enemy before they get you.

00:55:54.119 --> 00:55:56.539
Order this gem now and get a free virtual tour

00:55:56.539 --> 00:55:58.760
of Rob's secret bunker in Camderton, Missouri.

00:55:59.400 --> 00:56:01.980
Also receive a free copy of his new book, How

00:56:01.980 --> 00:56:09.079
to Clean Raw Sewage for Food. Two bush bags and

00:56:09.079 --> 00:56:11.380
microphone in an effort to keep everything fresh.

00:56:12.039 --> 00:56:18.920
We offer you first world problems. Damn it. The

00:56:18.920 --> 00:56:23.659
city services website is down again. I can't

00:56:23.659 --> 00:56:25.719
believe this. I'm going to have to actually call

00:56:25.719 --> 00:56:28.519
and talk to someone to pay my damn trash bill.

00:56:29.360 --> 00:56:32.699
This is ridiculous. Now, from his underground

00:56:32.699 --> 00:56:35.679
bunker in Camden, Missouri, a stock full of dried

00:56:35.679 --> 00:56:38.219
goods, canned food, and a couple of vibrating

00:56:38.219 --> 00:56:42.519
toys, is Ramblings of a Madman featuring Rob

00:56:42.519 --> 00:56:47.820
Rad. When everything is coming your way, you're

00:56:47.820 --> 00:57:03.039
in the wrong line. in a box of Cheez -Its, we'll

00:57:03.039 --> 00:57:10.820
be right back. Hello, this is Satan. You might

00:57:10.820 --> 00:57:15.699
know me from my pet name, Inflation. I'm here

00:57:15.699 --> 00:57:18.719
to tell you that there's no better way to relax

00:57:18.719 --> 00:57:22.699
than listen to two douchebags in a microphone

00:57:22.699 --> 00:57:26.920
by a nice warm fire at night. I sit there and

00:57:26.920 --> 00:57:29.900
I reflect on all the souls I burned that day.

00:57:30.829 --> 00:58:27.150
Enjoy. There you go. Here we go again. Particularly.

00:58:28.909 --> 00:58:33.809
Particularly. Particularly. Particularly. Particularly.

00:58:35.230 --> 00:58:41.349
Ah, fuck it. Rob, we turn it to you. Are you

00:58:41.349 --> 00:58:52.880
serious? After that? Okay. Yes. Oh, something

00:58:52.880 --> 00:58:56.960
about her trip to space, right? Yes, yes, yes.

00:58:57.039 --> 00:59:01.420
I love this. Yeah, go ahead. Okay, Katy Perry

00:59:01.420 --> 00:59:04.579
took to social media after her return to Earth

00:59:04.579 --> 00:59:07.840
following the highly publicized Blue Origin space

00:59:07.840 --> 00:59:51.550
trip. Yeah, yeah, Jeff Bezos is the one that

00:59:51.550 --> 00:59:55.289
is sponsoring this, too, so I think he had to

00:59:55.289 --> 00:59:57.130
throw his girlfriend in there, you know. She's

00:59:57.130 --> 01:00:00.170
pretty hot, too, so. Yeah, yeah, well, this leg

01:00:00.170 --> 01:00:05.489
is funny. The trip took just 11 minutes, in which

01:00:05.489 --> 01:00:08.829
time the crew soared more than 60 miles high.

01:00:39.480 --> 01:00:44.639
The tweet has since raked in 30 .2 billion views,

01:00:45.019 --> 01:00:53.719
187 ,000 likes, and 6 ,100 comments. Not everyone

01:00:53.719 --> 01:00:58.400
was amused by her words. A critic pointed out,

01:00:58.539 --> 01:01:02.099
girl went to space for 11 minutes and came back

01:01:02.099 --> 01:01:44.380
acting like she escaped interstellar. Yeah, of

01:01:44.380 --> 01:01:47.719
all people, I agree with that. Of all people,

01:01:47.900 --> 01:01:51.679
how did Katy Perry get on that ship? That's what

01:01:51.679 --> 01:01:53.239
I'd like to know. That's what I said from the

01:01:53.239 --> 01:01:56.940
start. Who? You know, and Gayle King. Yeah, Katy

01:01:56.940 --> 01:02:00.960
Perry. At least Gayle King is a news person,

01:02:01.059 --> 01:02:04.659
you know. Yeah. And Jeff Bezos' girlfriend, well,

01:02:04.699 --> 01:02:07.179
we know why she's there, you know. Well, yeah,

01:02:07.340 --> 01:02:15.289
yeah. Nepotism, yeah. So, wow. Particularly.

01:02:18.030 --> 01:02:21.929
Yep. That's all I got on that one. I love the

01:02:21.929 --> 01:02:24.409
fact how her fans came after her, and a lot of

01:02:24.409 --> 01:02:26.809
them were fans, too. And they're like, oh, okay.

01:02:27.050 --> 01:02:33.010
Yeah. Like, who the hell are you? Yeah. Yeah,

01:02:33.010 --> 01:02:40.130
I agree with that. It's like, you know... And

01:02:40.130 --> 01:02:42.369
she did kind of get on her high horse, I think.

01:02:42.429 --> 01:02:46.809
What do you think? Yeah, and that's what they

01:02:46.809 --> 01:02:49.150
got on to her about, was getting on her high

01:02:49.150 --> 01:02:52.269
horse. Nothing like home. Well, what were you

01:02:52.269 --> 01:02:56.190
doing off this planet to begin with? Yeah, yeah,

01:02:56.230 --> 01:02:59.289
I agree. And the only reason she's there is because

01:02:59.289 --> 01:03:02.309
she's an entertainer and she has money. Not because

01:03:02.309 --> 01:03:06.869
she's a scientist. or some other value. It's

01:03:06.869 --> 01:03:09.230
just her own personal ha -ha getting out there

01:03:09.230 --> 01:03:11.989
in space. And then after she did this ha -ha,

01:03:12.070 --> 01:03:15.849
she had to let everybody know that she did this.

01:03:16.090 --> 01:03:21.349
And anyhow, the rest is explanatory. All right.

01:03:21.989 --> 01:03:27.170
Rob, are you familiar with the Chupacabra? Yes.

01:03:27.710 --> 01:03:31.980
Yeah. Yeah. The mystery creature resembling blood

01:03:31.980 --> 01:03:34.940
-sucking chupacabra shows up at a woman's house

01:03:34.940 --> 01:03:38.760
in freaky footage. It does, too. Rob, just look

01:03:38.760 --> 01:03:42.000
this up. Or anybody else, look it up. No one

01:03:42.000 --> 01:03:44.420
believed me. A Colorado woman was scared out

01:03:44.420 --> 01:03:47.320
of her wits after she was visited by a creepy

01:03:47.320 --> 01:03:50.980
critter that came in the night. A Facebook clip

01:03:50.980 --> 01:03:53.679
of the animal's baffling commentators, including

01:03:53.679 --> 01:03:56.599
wildlife officials with guesses ranging from

01:03:56.599 --> 01:03:59.920
a rabid wolverine to a blood -sucking chupacabra

01:03:59.920 --> 01:04:03.800
from Latin American folklore. I told everyone

01:04:03.800 --> 01:04:06.039
about it, and no one believed me. Immortified

01:04:06.039 --> 01:04:09.800
Jenny Lynn, 30, told Penn News of the baffling

01:04:09.800 --> 01:04:13.480
beast, which showed up outside of her home in

01:04:13.480 --> 01:04:18.179
Pueblo, Colorado, that is. Or Pueblo, I guess

01:04:18.179 --> 01:04:20.480
would probably be the way you say it. I first

01:04:20.480 --> 01:04:23.199
saw it last Monday. Pueblo is the way I voice

01:04:23.199 --> 01:04:27.070
it. Okay. Well, that. I first saw it last Monday

01:04:27.070 --> 01:04:29.829
during the afternoon. It was sitting in the road

01:04:29.829 --> 01:04:32.389
in front of my house, the Colorado, and recalled,

01:04:32.670 --> 01:04:35.409
it didn't run or act afraid of me, and it turned

01:04:35.409 --> 01:04:37.710
and it looked at me, and I got chills and ran

01:04:37.710 --> 01:04:40.429
back inside. Opened up my living room curtains,

01:04:40.610 --> 01:04:43.769
and it was there, recalled Lynn. She tried to

01:04:43.769 --> 01:04:46.369
shoo the prowler away, but it ignored her and

01:04:46.369 --> 01:04:50.789
started eating cat food. Hell yeah! The Chupacabra's

01:04:50.789 --> 01:04:52.530
like, fuck you, I'm the Chupacabra, and I'm going

01:04:52.530 --> 01:04:53.849
to eat your cat food, and there's not a damn

01:04:53.849 --> 01:04:55.320
thing you're going to do about it. Isn't that

01:04:55.320 --> 01:04:57.539
what he did? Hell yeah. Yeah, he gave her the

01:04:57.539 --> 01:05:00.900
double -barreled fingers. He's like, I'm here,

01:05:01.039 --> 01:05:03.199
you're there, and you're going to stay there

01:05:03.199 --> 01:05:07.239
while I'm here eating your cat food. I love that.

01:05:07.659 --> 01:05:10.579
I knew the Chupacabra had swag. I knew he had

01:05:10.579 --> 01:05:15.400
swagger, didn't you? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

01:05:15.519 --> 01:05:20.159
Yeah. He looks mangy, but he... Yeah, he's got

01:05:20.159 --> 01:05:22.320
some swagger to him. Yeah, he's got some swagger.

01:05:22.380 --> 01:05:24.199
He don't care. He's the Chupacabra. He'll do

01:05:24.199 --> 01:05:27.900
whatever the fuck he wants. So, there's more

01:05:27.900 --> 01:05:29.780
to this story, but I think, you know what, I

01:05:29.780 --> 01:05:32.400
mean, look it up. If you're really curious about

01:05:32.400 --> 01:05:36.239
it, look it up. It looks like real footage, and

01:05:36.239 --> 01:05:38.280
it looks like something that has been described

01:05:38.280 --> 01:05:42.000
as a Chupacabra for many years now. And if you

01:05:42.000 --> 01:05:45.019
ever know someone, well, usually, you know, they're

01:05:45.019 --> 01:05:48.159
of Latin American influence, they swear by him.

01:05:48.460 --> 01:05:50.619
Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, they're there. They're

01:05:50.619 --> 01:05:54.300
around. So, it all came from somewhere. That's

01:05:54.300 --> 01:05:56.219
what I got to say. It all came from somewhere.

01:05:56.360 --> 01:06:03.280
So, all right. Rob? I remember when I first started

01:06:03.280 --> 01:06:06.199
hearing about them. Uh -huh. They were, like,

01:06:06.300 --> 01:06:11.500
in, like, New Mexico, Texas. Uh -huh. And then

01:06:11.500 --> 01:06:15.019
they started moving up later, you know, later

01:06:15.019 --> 01:06:25.769
in time. I can, too. And also, they're kind of

01:06:25.769 --> 01:06:28.769
like the armadillo. The armadillo used to just

01:06:28.769 --> 01:06:34.130
be Texas. Then it was Oklahoma. Oh, you guys

01:06:34.130 --> 01:06:36.710
are infested with those bastards. They will dig

01:06:36.710 --> 01:06:39.469
up a lawn. They'll make a lawn and one night

01:06:39.469 --> 01:06:41.889
look like you plowed and disked it, getting ready

01:06:41.889 --> 01:06:50.369
to plant seeds. Seriously. Oh, a friend of mine,

01:06:50.449 --> 01:06:52.769
he lives down at Stockton Lake. You know where

01:06:52.769 --> 01:06:56.110
that's at. That's not real far from you. He said,

01:06:56.190 --> 01:07:00.949
I guess they get really pissed off. He saw one

01:07:00.949 --> 01:07:03.510
of them, and he went and he got his shotgun,

01:07:03.670 --> 01:07:07.510
and he shot him, but it hit his armor and peppered

01:07:07.510 --> 01:07:11.110
him on inside. He got mad and lunged at my friend

01:07:11.110 --> 01:07:15.000
and was making weird noises. He had to run inside

01:07:15.000 --> 01:07:16.739
the house because that armadillo was going to

01:07:16.739 --> 01:07:19.300
tear his face off, he thought. I didn't know

01:07:19.300 --> 01:07:25.079
they were that aggressive. I didn't either. Yeah.

01:07:25.820 --> 01:07:28.519
He's not a bullshitter. I believe this happened.

01:07:28.840 --> 01:07:31.699
He said it jumped in the air so high it was almost

01:07:31.699 --> 01:07:35.579
head high and was lunging at him. One of those

01:07:35.579 --> 01:07:41.409
little armadillos. But, you know, I mean, he

01:07:41.409 --> 01:07:43.349
did pepper them pretty good with buckshot there.

01:07:43.469 --> 01:07:45.030
I mean, you know, well, it probably wasn't buckshot.

01:07:45.050 --> 01:07:48.449
It probably really was a 12 -gauge load. But

01:07:48.449 --> 01:07:51.690
he tried to kill it because everybody knows that,

01:07:51.710 --> 01:07:55.969
like, there's tons of them, and they're all diseased,

01:07:55.989 --> 01:07:59.730
and you have to quell the herd. That's it. I

01:07:59.730 --> 01:08:02.670
mean, that's just, there's no other answer to

01:08:02.670 --> 01:08:05.920
it. so if you see one you probably should kill

01:08:05.920 --> 01:08:07.800
it because if not it's going to die a horrible

01:08:07.800 --> 01:08:09.760
death anyhow because there's so many of them

01:08:09.760 --> 01:08:12.179
they're diseased they also bring disease to people

01:08:12.179 --> 01:08:15.559
is it like leprosy or something and then uh maybe

01:08:15.559 --> 01:08:20.539
um oh shit there's something else it gives to

01:08:20.539 --> 01:08:26.300
um anyhow um yeah they're nasty little bastards

01:08:26.300 --> 01:08:30.140
uh but chubacabras i don't know man i kind of

01:08:30.140 --> 01:08:32.680
think they're there Too many people have seen

01:08:32.680 --> 01:08:38.539
him and swore by him. You, Rob? I, honestly,

01:08:38.840 --> 01:08:47.100
from the evidence I have seen, I believe they

01:08:47.100 --> 01:08:51.579
could exist. Just like I believe Bigfoot could

01:08:51.579 --> 01:08:55.800
exist. Yeah. Yep. You know, there's nothing proved

01:08:55.800 --> 01:08:59.869
they could. And, you know, there's... So many

01:08:59.869 --> 01:09:04.569
eyewitnesses. What is all this weird stuff? Yeah.

01:09:04.609 --> 01:09:12.550
Yeah. Yeah. I agree, Rob. Wow. Yeah. There's

01:09:12.550 --> 01:09:14.829
just too much evidence and too many people. I

01:09:14.829 --> 01:09:17.449
mean, if it was just like a lore, it wouldn't

01:09:17.449 --> 01:09:20.109
be that big and it wouldn't be that. People just

01:09:20.109 --> 01:09:23.270
openly talking about it, right? You know, you

01:09:23.270 --> 01:09:25.890
know, people that have seen them and they're

01:09:25.890 --> 01:09:28.079
just they. They just talk about, oh, yeah, yeah,

01:09:28.180 --> 01:09:30.380
yeah, I saw one the other night. It's not like,

01:09:30.420 --> 01:09:32.180
no, they're really there. They're just kind of

01:09:32.180 --> 01:09:34.760
like, yeah, they're there, we know it. They're

01:09:34.760 --> 01:09:36.979
not really interested in trying to convince anybody

01:09:36.979 --> 01:09:39.939
or nothing like that. They just know they exist,

01:09:40.220 --> 01:09:42.920
which is number one, makes me think that they're

01:09:42.920 --> 01:09:47.000
not full of shit. So, Rob. This is one of those

01:09:47.000 --> 01:09:50.460
conspiracy theories. Yeah, and which I admittedly

01:09:50.460 --> 01:09:52.479
love, and I think you do too. That we love. Yeah.

01:09:52.479 --> 01:09:55.600
Yeah, that we love. Yeah, I can't wait till Topher

01:09:55.600 --> 01:09:58.159
and I get to, I know I'm switching subjects here.

01:09:59.260 --> 01:10:01.760
I can't wait till Topher and I get around to

01:10:01.760 --> 01:10:06.039
doing the real story. There's some stuff that

01:10:06.039 --> 01:10:09.100
I want to cover. Yeah. And it could be stuff

01:10:09.100 --> 01:10:14.119
like Kennedy's assassination. It's kind of like

01:10:14.119 --> 01:10:16.600
a conspiracy theory, but to me, I like it better

01:10:16.600 --> 01:10:20.600
because we're going to do some digging and we're

01:10:20.600 --> 01:10:22.880
going to try to present to you what really happened.

01:10:23.850 --> 01:10:26.970
You can believe it or not, but we're going to

01:10:26.970 --> 01:10:33.590
give you a compelling case to a story that people

01:10:33.590 --> 01:10:35.909
don't really know what quite happened. Like Marilyn

01:10:35.909 --> 01:10:41.630
Monroe or something like that. Jane Mansfield.

01:10:42.529 --> 01:10:45.810
Jane Mansfield, I believe she was decapitated,

01:10:45.989 --> 01:10:51.689
right? Yeah. Okay, the fake. And the reason I

01:10:51.689 --> 01:10:53.689
say fake is because the real Satan worshippers

01:10:53.689 --> 01:10:56.350
kicked him out when they went over there to California.

01:10:57.090 --> 01:11:00.229
Anton LaVey, the high priest Satanist or whatever

01:11:00.229 --> 01:11:03.250
he was, he said that he was good friends with

01:11:03.250 --> 01:11:06.510
Jane Mansfield. And her boyfriend, I believe,

01:11:06.590 --> 01:11:09.470
or maybe husband, I'm not for sure, was real

01:11:09.470 --> 01:11:12.069
jealous of them hanging out. And he said that

01:11:12.069 --> 01:11:17.090
he was trying to do a spell on her boyfriend.

01:11:17.409 --> 01:11:20.909
And he accidentally cut her head off. And that's

01:11:20.909 --> 01:11:23.369
why that happened to her. He blamed himself by

01:11:23.369 --> 01:11:26.090
accident that that's why she was decapitated.

01:11:26.270 --> 01:11:31.470
So I really would like to know what really happened

01:11:31.470 --> 01:11:35.649
to Jane Mansfield. Or, as L .A. Gunn says, what

01:11:35.649 --> 01:11:37.550
happened to Jane. That's who they're talking

01:11:37.550 --> 01:11:40.590
about. Did you know that? Right, right. Yeah.

01:11:41.670 --> 01:11:43.810
Well, there's so many more. Those are just like

01:11:43.810 --> 01:11:46.369
the easy ones. There's so many other things that

01:11:46.369 --> 01:11:50.970
happened that you don't know. But Topher and

01:11:50.970 --> 01:11:53.010
I are going to do a lot of investigating. Each

01:11:53.010 --> 01:11:56.409
one of these shows are going to take a long time

01:11:56.409 --> 01:11:59.649
to produce and figure out because we're not just

01:11:59.649 --> 01:12:01.409
going to kind of do it. We're going to really

01:12:01.409 --> 01:12:03.609
get into the subjects, and we're going to really

01:12:03.609 --> 01:12:05.489
know what we're talking about, and we're going

01:12:05.489 --> 01:12:07.729
to present to you what we think happened, piecing

01:12:07.729 --> 01:12:09.649
it together, and I'm really excited about that.

01:12:09.729 --> 01:12:12.270
I think that that is going to be a fantastic

01:12:12.270 --> 01:12:16.729
show. Anyhow, Rob, go ahead if you've got something.

01:12:18.109 --> 01:12:21.149
Yeah, I do, actually. I have a conspiracy theory.

01:12:21.170 --> 01:12:23.250
Oh, and also, Rob, if you want to partake in

01:12:23.250 --> 01:12:27.909
this, we can do it. Well, no. I have this one

01:12:27.909 --> 01:12:30.649
in front of me. Okay. All right. Go ahead. Like

01:12:30.649 --> 01:12:37.489
you said, it's deeper into the story. That's

01:12:37.489 --> 01:12:42.569
what I like. Yeah. Have you ever wondered how

01:12:42.569 --> 01:12:47.130
Mark Simpson holds it together? With the chaos

01:12:47.130 --> 01:12:50.899
on that show? Yeah, that's true. I was always

01:12:50.899 --> 01:12:53.420
thinking like barbiturates, you know, drugs.

01:12:54.100 --> 01:13:00.039
Well, a lot of people wonder. Well, they're now

01:13:00.039 --> 01:13:05.899
going into their 36th season. Oh, wow. Yeah,

01:13:06.000 --> 01:13:08.600
yeah, yeah, their 36th season. They started in

01:13:08.600 --> 01:13:13.880
1988 on the Tracy Ullman show, I believe. Go

01:13:13.880 --> 01:13:17.840
ahead, I'm going to look it up. Well, The Simpsons

01:13:17.840 --> 01:13:49.510
have never shot. Oh, Homer. that reveals how

01:13:49.510 --> 01:13:52.510
she's been able to survive in Springfield for

01:13:52.510 --> 01:13:57.649
so long. 1987. She literally... Go ahead, I'm

01:13:57.649 --> 01:14:02.010
sorry. Go ahead. On Tracy Ullman. She literally

01:14:02.010 --> 01:14:06.250
has been burying her feelings with a slate of

01:14:06.250 --> 01:14:10.130
hate letters she's been writing for 35 years.

01:14:10.510 --> 01:14:18.380
Oh! Okay. Okay, this Fenton season... 36, episode

01:14:18.380 --> 01:14:26.020
14, is titled P .S. I Hate You. And has the rest

01:14:26.020 --> 01:14:29.920
of Springfield celebrating Marge's birthday and

01:14:29.920 --> 01:14:34.180
praising her as the nicest woman in town. When

01:14:34.180 --> 01:14:38.039
longtime rival Ellen Lovejoy gets under her skin,

01:14:38.420 --> 01:14:42.300
Marge heads into her room, furious, but emerges

01:14:42.300 --> 01:14:47.180
happier than ever. Is the murder happier than

01:14:47.180 --> 01:14:50.579
ever? Now that you said it, but I didn't before.

01:14:50.880 --> 01:14:54.039
Yeah, it shows. Uh -huh. Well, let's explain

01:14:54.039 --> 01:14:57.300
it. Okay. It's something Homer and the family

01:14:57.300 --> 01:15:01.159
notes that she mysteriously does every time she

01:15:01.159 --> 01:15:04.899
gets angry. But no one knows what she's actually

01:15:04.899 --> 01:15:09.579
doing. Okay. It's then explained that Marge has

01:15:09.579 --> 01:15:13.460
been secretly writing hate letters every time

01:15:13.460 --> 01:15:24.130
she's gotten angry at somebody. I love that.

01:15:25.750 --> 01:15:29.729
After seeing it as a tip in a magazine when she

01:15:29.729 --> 01:15:32.609
was a kid, Marge has been successfully writing

01:15:32.609 --> 01:15:36.529
these letters and keeping them a secret all this

01:15:36.529 --> 01:15:51.909
time. It's not until this... The rest of the

01:15:51.909 --> 01:15:54.850
town finds out how March actually feels about

01:15:54.850 --> 01:15:59.229
them, but she apologizes and reveals that she

01:15:59.229 --> 01:16:03.770
no longer will hold herself back anymore. It's

01:16:03.770 --> 01:16:06.609
something the rest of the town ultimately respects.

01:16:24.820 --> 01:16:28.060
Yeah, that's how she does it. She writes hate

01:16:28.060 --> 01:16:31.439
letters. I thought it was drugs. That's cool.

01:16:36.039 --> 01:16:41.119
I thought she had some sort of Jesus juice around

01:16:41.119 --> 01:16:44.579
the corner, right? It's like, I'll be right back.

01:16:44.659 --> 01:16:46.899
She comes back, hey, everything's cool. I don't

01:16:46.899 --> 01:16:48.920
know, you know, barbiturate, something like that.

01:16:49.079 --> 01:16:51.989
But, alright. Hate mail. Or hate letters. We

01:16:51.989 --> 01:16:54.529
can hate mail. She writes hate letters. Do what?

01:16:54.869 --> 01:16:56.649
I'm going to go ahead and say it the way she

01:16:56.649 --> 01:16:59.010
comes out and smiles. I thought it was masturbation.

01:16:59.550 --> 01:17:04.390
You know, it could be a part of it. But, you

01:17:04.390 --> 01:17:07.470
know, it's PG. So she had to, like, leave that

01:17:07.470 --> 01:17:10.689
out. I bet you that is a part of it. Yep. That's

01:17:10.689 --> 01:17:12.529
how come every time you can hear a buzzing sound

01:17:12.529 --> 01:17:16.850
from her bedroom. You know? Yeah, every time

01:17:16.850 --> 01:17:19.430
you hear it. I thought it was electric toothbrush.

01:17:19.689 --> 01:17:25.729
I guess not. Wow. All right. New wavy road lines

01:17:25.729 --> 01:17:28.949
to curb speeding in Pennsylvania Township perplexes

01:17:28.949 --> 01:17:31.810
residents. It felt like a roller coaster, someone

01:17:31.810 --> 01:17:35.350
said. A Pennsylvania town painted curved road

01:17:35.350 --> 01:17:38.649
lines down a residential street in a new traffic

01:17:38.649 --> 01:17:41.649
calming initiative officers hope will rein in

01:17:41.649 --> 01:17:44.609
reckless driving. but many residents were left

01:17:44.609 --> 01:17:47.229
wondering if police would think they were driving

01:17:47.229 --> 01:17:50.949
drunk if they followed the new pattern. Now,

01:17:51.010 --> 01:17:58.369
this is their answer? To curb fast driving is

01:17:58.369 --> 01:18:07.050
to paint wavy lines on the road? To me, that

01:18:07.050 --> 01:18:09.510
sounds like an accident waiting to happen to

01:18:09.510 --> 01:18:14.130
me. What do you think? Well, as long as you're

01:18:14.130 --> 01:18:15.930
paying attention to the lines, you should be

01:18:15.930 --> 01:18:18.609
good. Oh, you know what? Maybe it is. You know

01:18:18.609 --> 01:18:21.649
what, Ron? As long as the person on the other

01:18:21.649 --> 01:18:23.810
side is doing all right, your boat should be

01:18:23.810 --> 01:18:26.350
fine. Okay. Well, that's where the problem is.

01:18:26.529 --> 01:18:29.470
The other side. Just like that fucker that's

01:18:29.470 --> 01:18:31.729
looking at Facebook and won't go on a green light.

01:18:32.010 --> 01:18:34.409
Just like that bastard that's trying to grab

01:18:34.409 --> 01:18:36.609
his coffee and almost swerves into you and kills

01:18:36.609 --> 01:18:40.130
you. Yeah. Montgomery Township, just outside

01:18:40.130 --> 01:18:42.869
Philadelphia, has new curvy lines. down Gray

01:18:42.869 --> 01:18:46.510
Lane, complete with curb extensions. These traffic

01:18:46.510 --> 01:18:48.670
calming measures are being installed due to the

01:18:48.670 --> 01:18:51.050
numerous complaints and concerns we receive from

01:18:51.050 --> 01:18:54.750
residents about the speedway in parentheses Gray

01:18:54.750 --> 01:18:57.430
Lane has become, officials wrote in a statement

01:18:57.430 --> 01:19:00.229
on Facebook. Despite the town's good intentions,

01:19:00.550 --> 01:19:03.109
locals can't fathom their own community deciding

01:19:03.109 --> 01:19:07.250
this would be a good solution. This is not the

01:19:07.250 --> 01:19:09.840
design to go. There are other options out there,

01:19:09.880 --> 01:19:13.279
and I think they should have gone that way, resident

01:19:13.279 --> 01:19:17.260
Mike DiLorenzo told NBC News Philadelphia. I

01:19:17.260 --> 01:19:19.380
think speed bumps would have gone a lot further

01:19:19.380 --> 01:19:21.920
as far as slowing people down on this road in

01:19:21.920 --> 01:19:25.859
particular, local William King told the outlet.

01:19:26.300 --> 01:19:28.680
Many residents said that they are ignoring the

01:19:28.680 --> 01:19:31.300
lines entirely and driving down the road like

01:19:31.300 --> 01:19:33.500
they always have. Others joked that the crew

01:19:33.500 --> 01:19:35.439
must have been drunk when they painted the lines.

01:19:35.600 --> 01:19:38.619
Yeah, that's cool. One person wrote that they

01:19:38.619 --> 01:19:41.760
drove down the road to test it out while following

01:19:41.760 --> 01:19:43.920
the new lines, which felt like a roller coaster.

01:19:44.619 --> 01:19:47.680
Many people have complained and they're even

01:19:47.680 --> 01:19:52.479
taking up a petition to get these lines removed

01:19:52.479 --> 01:19:56.560
and to have regular lines installed. And the

01:19:56.560 --> 01:19:59.399
going thought is people just want speed bumps.

01:19:59.539 --> 01:20:05.060
They don't want curvy, wavy lines. Actually,

01:20:05.060 --> 01:20:07.479
after you said that, Rob, it may be a good idea.

01:20:07.800 --> 01:20:11.819
I mean, you really have to pay attention. I don't

01:20:11.819 --> 01:20:15.859
think so. You don't think it's a good idea? No,

01:20:15.859 --> 01:20:21.220
I do not agree with the derby lines. Oh, okay.

01:20:21.359 --> 01:20:23.819
I mean, with the speed bumps. I do not agree

01:20:23.819 --> 01:20:25.680
with speed bumps. No, that's what I'm saying,

01:20:25.720 --> 01:20:31.460
too. That does more damage to your front end

01:20:31.460 --> 01:20:38.020
of your vehicle. Yeah. Yeah. And I agree. I think

01:20:38.020 --> 01:20:40.600
the speed bumps aren't the answer either. And

01:20:40.600 --> 01:20:45.039
actually, I really do like, I think the wavy

01:20:45.039 --> 01:20:47.260
lines might be pretty cool, really. After I heard

01:20:47.260 --> 01:20:49.199
you talk about it, Rob, I think I kind of changed

01:20:49.199 --> 01:20:50.840
my opinion on the thing. At first, I thought

01:20:50.840 --> 01:20:55.060
it was stupid. But now, I think, to me, I think

01:20:55.060 --> 01:20:57.899
that I would find it like a game. Try to do as

01:20:57.899 --> 01:20:59.619
good as you could, you know, performance driver

01:20:59.619 --> 01:21:08.659
type of thing. Yeah. As long as everybody else

01:21:08.659 --> 01:21:11.539
is too? What's the difference? That's the wild

01:21:11.539 --> 01:21:15.100
card. It's like driving down the road going around

01:21:15.100 --> 01:21:18.899
a curve. Yeah, true. Hopefully the other person

01:21:18.899 --> 01:21:22.760
is paying attention. Okay. Rob, you got something?

01:21:25.859 --> 01:21:30.180
I'm looking here. I need to try to come up with

01:21:30.180 --> 01:21:36.340
one more. Okay. You got something to throw in

01:21:36.340 --> 01:21:45.800
real quick? Yeah, yes I do. Let's see here. Okay,

01:21:47.159 --> 01:21:50.859
I got a little something here. A local court

01:21:50.859 --> 01:21:55.340
last week sent Mikolaj Babelsnatch to a 14 -day

01:21:55.340 --> 01:21:57.979
judicial custody as he is set to appear again

01:21:57.979 --> 01:22:00.920
in the court on April 17. The charges carry a

01:22:00.920 --> 01:22:03.140
possible sentence of up to five years in prison

01:22:03.140 --> 01:22:07.720
and a fine. Indian authorities said that they

01:22:07.720 --> 01:22:09.760
have informed the U .S. Embassy about the case.

01:22:10.020 --> 01:22:12.340
Visitors are banned from traveling within three

01:22:12.340 --> 01:22:15.500
miles or five kilometers of this island, whose

01:22:15.500 --> 01:22:17.880
population has been isolated from the rest of

01:22:17.880 --> 01:22:20.340
the world for thousands of years. The inhabitants

01:22:20.340 --> 01:22:23.680
use spears and bows and arrows to hunt the animals

01:22:23.680 --> 01:22:26.039
that roam the small, heavily forested island.

01:22:26.939 --> 01:22:30.000
Deeply suspicious of outsiders, they attack anyone

01:22:30.000 --> 01:22:34.390
who lands on their beaches. A missionary who

01:22:34.390 --> 01:22:36.789
landed illegally on the beach was killed by North

01:22:36.789 --> 01:22:39.409
Sentinel Islanders who apparently shot him with

01:22:39.409 --> 01:22:41.369
arrows and then buried his body on the beach

01:22:41.369 --> 01:22:46.109
in 2006. The Sentinelese had killed two fishermen

01:22:46.109 --> 01:22:49.170
who had accidentally landed on the shore. These

01:22:49.170 --> 01:22:51.250
guys don't fuck around. I'm thinking I wouldn't

01:22:51.250 --> 01:22:53.390
be within 30 miles of that island, Rob. What

01:22:53.390 --> 01:22:58.489
do you think? I don't think so. No, but anyhow,

01:22:58.649 --> 01:23:00.449
I skipped some of the article because here's

01:23:00.449 --> 01:23:02.600
what happened. The guy landed on the island.

01:23:02.699 --> 01:23:05.460
He is a social influencer. They had a different

01:23:05.460 --> 01:23:07.300
way of saying it, but this is the gist of it.

01:23:07.880 --> 01:23:11.020
He is a social influencer, and he wanted to capture

01:23:11.020 --> 01:23:15.779
pictures and videos of this tribe that's on there.

01:23:16.239 --> 01:23:20.319
It's against the law because this island is somewhere

01:23:20.319 --> 01:23:22.319
off the coast of India, and it's against the

01:23:22.319 --> 01:23:25.619
law for you to do that. So he lived through that.

01:23:25.720 --> 01:23:27.579
They didn't catch him and kill him like everyone

01:23:27.579 --> 01:23:30.000
else, but now he's probably going to go to prison.

01:23:32.030 --> 01:23:34.590
So I think that he got the best part of that,

01:23:34.630 --> 01:23:37.430
don't you? Going to prison instead of being...

01:23:37.430 --> 01:23:41.010
Yeah, I think so. Yeah. Yeah. But that island,

01:23:41.189 --> 01:23:43.850
they want it preserved because these people don't

01:23:43.850 --> 01:23:46.329
want to be disturbed, obviously. And it's their

01:23:46.329 --> 01:23:48.550
land, it's their island, and they're observing

01:23:48.550 --> 01:23:51.489
it. They're like, hey, leave them alone. If you

01:23:51.489 --> 01:23:54.189
go there and you die, that's your own stupidity.

01:23:54.210 --> 01:23:55.689
You know what's going to happen if they catch

01:23:55.689 --> 01:23:59.869
you. So, hey, Rob, you got whatever you're looking

01:23:59.869 --> 01:24:05.449
for? Yeah, yeah, I came up with one. Okay. Michael

01:24:05.449 --> 01:24:09.890
Dietz was not shy about his alleged actions when

01:24:09.890 --> 01:24:13.449
Ohio cops asked him about the vandalism at the

01:24:13.449 --> 01:24:17.329
home of a woman with whom he was involved in

01:24:17.329 --> 01:24:23.609
a car crash over a year ago. Huh. I fucking spray

01:24:23.609 --> 01:24:27.130
-painted an asshole on her house, Dietz told

01:24:27.130 --> 01:24:31.010
Westlake cops. according to body camera video

01:24:31.010 --> 01:24:36.050
viewed by Law and Crime. Why ask the cop? Because

01:24:36.050 --> 01:24:43.270
she's an asshole, he retorted. The bitch is lucky

01:24:43.270 --> 01:24:46.869
I didn't go over with a .357 and start shooting

01:24:46.869 --> 01:24:51.270
the place up, he proclaimed. Now D -64 is facing

01:24:51.270 --> 01:24:55.050
charges of vandalism and aggravated menacing.

01:25:08.990 --> 01:26:08.800
Okay. Okay. It was misspelled, police said. After

01:26:08.800 --> 01:26:11.699
Nietzsche allegedly admitted to being the perpetrator,

01:26:11.920 --> 01:26:16.539
he told the cops he was not happy with how the

01:26:16.539 --> 01:26:20.720
crash was handled, and he intended to see the

01:26:20.720 --> 01:26:24.039
victim. He said he was still suffering from back

01:26:24.039 --> 01:26:40.390
pain. From how long ago? Okay, okay, okay. Yeah.

01:26:45.770 --> 01:26:52.890
And he misspelled asshole. I would love to see

01:26:52.890 --> 01:26:54.550
how he spelled that. I mean, I don't know how

01:26:54.550 --> 01:27:00.909
you can misspell that, honestly. I would, too.

01:27:04.289 --> 01:27:07.250
You know what? Truth is always stranger than

01:27:07.250 --> 01:27:15.420
fiction, isn't it? I see this happening. Yeah,

01:27:15.420 --> 01:27:19.279
me too. Alright, it is 9 .23. You want to put

01:27:19.279 --> 01:27:21.380
a bow on this bitch and call it good, or you

01:27:21.380 --> 01:27:24.720
want to keep going? Yeah, actually, I've got

01:27:24.720 --> 01:27:28.659
a long day. Alrighty. Thank you for joining us,

01:27:28.760 --> 01:27:31.119
Rob. Like always, you brought it again. You brought

01:27:31.119 --> 01:27:33.380
some cool shit to the plate. I appreciate it.

01:27:33.399 --> 01:27:36.420
Good stories, good solid stories are always good.

01:27:36.699 --> 01:27:39.560
So, anyhow, thank you guys for listening. Good

01:27:39.560 --> 01:27:45.819
night, assholes. Good night, assholes. Oh, no.

01:27:45.960 --> 01:27:49.199
Looks like the show's over, kids. Mark has explosive

01:27:49.199 --> 01:27:52.880
diarrhea and can't afford a wireless mic. Fear

01:27:52.880 --> 01:27:55.300
not, assholes. They'll be back invading your

01:27:55.300 --> 01:27:56.060
ear holes soon.