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drink of the week. Hey, sporty pants. How about
a black currant margarita? 24 ounces of tequila.
The best or what good? 20 ounces of cream big
cassé. 96 ounce big bucket margarita mixer. Garnish
with lined wheels. Served in a tall pollens glass.
Combine ingredients with Big Buffy. Stir, seal,
and open the vent. Freeze and serve. Enjoy, poggers.
Have at it. Strange, but true. When Howard Schnitzer
had a heart attack at a grocery store in Rubel,
Minnesota in 2011, 20 people lined up and performed
CPR on him for over an hour and a half until
paramedics arrived. When the paramedics arrived
via helicopter, they witnessed an astonishing
scene. Mary Sadova, a Mayo Clinic flight nurse
who flew in on the emergency helicopter saying,
it was unbelievable. There were probably 20 in
line. Waited their turn to do CPR. They just
kept slide -climbing through. Thankfully, 54
-year -old Schnitzer survived the ordeal. And
now, Deep Thoughts with Mark. If you melt dry
ice in a pool, can you swim without getting wet?
Hmm. I may never know. Two Dishbags and Microphone
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podcast today. Two douchebags and microphone.
I am Mark here in the Kansas City chapter. And
I am Rob at the beautiful Ion War Arm of Lake
of the Osa. That sounded awesome, Rob. It was
music to my ears. You see the Ion War Arm is
the spring -fed arm, so it would naturally be
more beautiful, right? So there. Yes, it is.
I mean, the Osa job, you know. Let's see, which
arm is it that comes down? There's one that comes
down from Truman. That's the Osage arm. Yeah,
the Osage. And that's a muddy river. It's a lot
like the Missouri River. Oh, my God. Yeah, that's
why we always have that little gag at the first.
The people that live around here know, or the
people from here that live somewhere else that
listen, they know. The Missouri River is muddy
and nasty, and that's why we always say the beautiful
crystal clear. Blue waters of the Missouri River.
So some people may not get it, but most people
do. We do really well around these parts. So,
you know, I'd like to see our numbers in Cass
County, dude. I tell you, I mean, I make fun
of those fuckers all the time, but they still
listen. What the hell? Well, that's because we're
from Cass County. No, I know. You know what?
A lot of them know me and they know I'm just
joking around, you know, so. But anyhow, you
know, I make fun of myself just as much. And
so do you. Right. All right. All right. I got
something for you here, Rob. You ever think of
things people say, you know, whenever they say
something, you take it literally like someone
goes, I'd like to pick your brain. And the first
thing I think of is a water pick or an ice pick.
They both sound pretty bad, right? Yeah. Okay.
Yeah. You know, and I have a bad habit of doing
that. I imagine it because I got a crazy imagination.
Someone goes, I'd like to pick your brain. And
automatically I'm wincing. And they're like,
what? You don't want to talk? I'm like, forget
it. Go on. You know, so, you know, if my thoughts
were for sale, you know, I'd be insulted if someone
gave me a penny, you know, because a good old
penny for your thoughts. It's like, no, no, no,
no. If I'm going to tell you anything, I at least
want a buck, right? I mean, wouldn't you demand,
yeah, you'd demand more money. You'd be like,
no, I ain't going to tell you anything for one
cent. Fuck off. Get out of here. You're not worth
even talking to. So. I'm running if someone says
I'm beating around the bush. What about you?
Yeah. Yeah, yeah. They say I'm beating around
the bush. I'm like, hmm. Okay, that's my cue.
I've got something to do. Have a good day. Get
the hell out of there. Maybe call the cops. Sorry
to bother you. Yeah, yeah. Sorry to bother you.
Have a good day. How about under the weather?
Aren't we all under the weather? I mean, the
weather is usually above us, like rain, sunshine,
clouds, right? We're all under the weather, right?
Okay. All right. Just checking. Just checking.
Did you know that most vasectomies are scheduled
during March Madness? Actually, I have heard
that. Yes. I have heard that. And the reason
is because a guy wants to sit at home. Yeah,
they can lay around and watch basketball, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, they don't care if they got an ice
pack on their fucking nutsack. They're watching
basketball, and they get to stay there the whole
time and watch basketball. They have an excuse
to stay in their recorder. Yeah, uninterrupted.
So, you know, around March Madness time, anyone
that can get in that's going to have a bisectomy
does if they're a big, you know, college basketball
fan. How about a service? I get it. I do, too.
When I first read that, I'm like, that is brilliant.
It really is. I mean, I wonder who came up with
that. How can I say? I've actually heard that
for a few years now. I have, too. I have, too.
And I think it's brilliant. You talk about a
diehard fan. Yeah, I'll have my nutsack cut so
I can watch fucking basketball. But that is a
guy. That's a guy's guy right there. You know?
that's that's a guy's guy it's like so uh you
love basketball huh yeah i love basketball so
much i have my nuts cut just to watch him oh
you won you won so um how about a service that
delivers uh beer and mixed drinks to well you
know guys nursing their cut up nut sacks watching
basketball wouldn't that be a great idea possibly
like a consent waiver yeah Yeah, that would be
a good idea, but they would have to bring it
in the door. Mm -hmm. Because you would not be
able to get up and walk out to the door, walk
to the door to get it. Well, I mean, you know,
if they tip really good, yeah, you know, all
right, okay, I'm going to be at a glimpse of
someone, you know, fucking nursing their nutsack,
but you know what? Maybe it's not that bad if
you hand me an extra 20, right? You go, okay,
here's your stuff. Most guys would put a blanket
over themselves, whatever. Yeah, you know, most
of them would because, you know, no one wants
to see Frank and Nut there sitting there watching
basketball. So, yeah. You know, I think that'd
be good, but you'd have to have like a consent
waiver, don't you think? I will not slam painkillers
during drinking time, the strengths that you're
giving me. I will not slam any painkillers. And
if I do, you're not liable because I told you
I would not. Or something like that. Don't even
mention it. Don't even mention it. Yeah. How
about something like a gamer bundle? You can
have like a gamer bundle, which is like a 12
-pack of your favorite beer, a couple of Jack
and Cokes for when your team gets beat, Flamin'
Hot Cheetos and Raspberry Zingers. Wouldn't that
be awesome? Fucking Flamin' Hot Cheetos and Raspberry
Zingers and Jack and Cokes. Just, you know, ding
dong. Hey, I'm in here nursing my nutsack. Come
on in. Okay. Here's your two Jack and Cokes right
here, okay? Here's your Flamin' Hot Cheetos.
Here's your Raspberry Zingers. Here's your cheeseburger.
All right, you're all good to go. All right,
over there on the counter, there's a 20. Go ahead
and grab it, sir. Thank you. Have a great day.
Sounds great to me. Yeah, me too. Or maybe a
premium bundle that would be something like a
case of beer, fresh ice packs for your balls,
a wristwatch mute button when the play -by -play
guys drone on about free throws, a bag of taco
-flavored burritos, Southwestern -style cheese
dip, three zebra cakes, and a pack of strawberry
Pop -Tarts already heated in a heat pack. So
your Pop -Tarts are in a heat pack already heated,
and they're nice and gooey, and you just pull
them out of the heat pack and eat them right
there. You don't have to get off of your couch.
You were hungry when you wrote this out, didn't
you? Yes, and I wasn't even on Perks. This is
my natural stuff. I'm kind of almost embarrassed.
You keep talking about food, Bob, out of your
nut sack. Oh, well, I'm actually really fucking
stuffed right now. Hula hands, you know hula
hands, the chain hula hands? Yeah, yeah. Okay,
well, there's one not too far from us over in
Leawood. And I took Val to her appointment today,
her medical appointment. And Houlihan's is right
on the way back, and they're having happy hour.
So we go by there, and we're getting these prime
rib egg rolls and lettuce wraps and a cheeseburger
and a couple of giant yinlings. And, oh, my gosh,
man, I mean, I'm like full. So when I wrote that,
I must have been hungry. Because even that right
there didn't sound really like. crazy good. It
sounded good, but not like hungry good. You know
what I mean? Where you're going, gosh, that sounds
great. So, um, anyhow, um, the very last douchebag
episode I did out of sync. I doubled up again.
This time I caught it this morning and I was
able to take it down and fix the problem. Like
I told you last time, I'm not, I'm still not
sure about what's making it double track like
that. I just need to remember to check the recording
before posting it. You know, um, I've gotten
really good at splitting the stereo tracks. And
I went to YouTube to figure out how to do that.
Because I'm like, man, there's got to be a way
to clean this up. Because remember the first
one I couldn't fix? Right. Well, I had no idea
about this. But by the time I went back to it,
it was already... I don't have the master recording.
It was already sliced up. So I couldn't go back
to it. So if I have the recording on a scan disc...
then i could take the that's what i'm starting
to do now so like when i'm talking to you when
we're getting ready to get off the phone i put
it on and i put it on a scan disc i put that
on there and that's the master recording and
then i put it back on my computer with that scan
disc you see what i mean and then i butcher it
up so now i have the original recording so i
can um I can go back to that if I need to, or
I can split up the stereo tracks and take off
the bottom, the second half, so it's mono, which
doesn't matter because it's a podcast. So I'm
starting to learn how to do this stuff better,
so bear with me, everybody, and eventually we'll
be on YouTube like we said. Anyhow, I've got
a question for you, Rob. Do you like the Drink
of the Week segment, the Drink of the Week? Yes,
I do. Okay, it's going to get better. Because
what I did was, Norwegian Cruise Line has the
best drinks on the high seas. Everybody knows
this, that cruises a lot. Because they give you
a free open bar with it. And they have bars all
over the place. And it's more of like the drinking
cruise. If you want to go there and get hammered,
you go Norwegian. Because it's unlimited. Unlimited
everything. And they have the best drinks too.
So what I did was I found out the mock recipes
of these, like the Bushwhacker, which is a fantastic
drink. I've got the mock recipe to that, how
to make that actually at home. And I've got like
some other ones. I'm also going to do famous
shots, including the alien brain hemorrhage shot.
Have you ever had an alien brain hemorrhage?
I've never even heard of it. Oh. Only on sci
-fi movies. No, this is the thing. Look it up
on the Internet. It's true. I first had one in
Canada. My cousin and his wife turned me on to
this shot. It does look like a brain that could
have hemorrhaged, and it is an odd green color
as well. So actually, you know, I looked that
up, and I was like, you know, I thought that
was only around maybe Canada type of thing. No,
it's on the Internet, the alien brain hemorrhage,
how to make one and make it look just like that
brain that hemorrhaged. in your shot glass you
see so when they they pour these different alcohols
in it but when they pour the last one in it that's
when the what they first put in it uh coagulates
and looks like a brain that's been hemorrhaged
it looks horrible but it tastes okay but i mean
at first you're like i'm not drinking this shit
and you're like okay well you know I paid that
much for alcohol. I'm drinking it. Yeah, no,
no, no. Yeah, I agree. And also, just for the
fact that I go, yeah, I drank an alien brain
hemorrhage. Why? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bragging rights.
Yeah, yeah. So if anyone says that, I go, yeah,
I tried one. What? You did? Yeah, up in Camden.
Relatives bought it for me. It doesn't taste
that bad, but it tells you how to make that.
And it shows you making it on YouTube even. And
when you put the last liquor in there, it turns
into that coagulated looking brain hemorrhage.
And I'm like, cool. So that one's coming up.
And also drinks that are smoked. You take a smoke
gun and pepper it with smoke. The smoked peach
and charred pineapple margaritas are insanely
good. And also, smoke guns are relatively inexpensive,
so buying one won't take up rent money. One of
the things that you do is you soak the pineapple
ring in vodka and take it out and you light it
on fire. It'll go out quickly, but it won't go
out until it chars the pineapple ring. The charring
of the pineapple ring is amazing. The taste goes
with the drink so well. So, have you ever had,
like, charred pineapple? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's
really good, right? Usually on hand. Yeah. Yeah.
Well, I'll tell you what. In a charred pineapple
margarita, it's even better. And you put the
ring on the edge. Oh, it's very good. Very good.
I found that recipe, too. So that's going to
be in there, too. So, anyhow, those are stuff
that are coming up that I just wanted to mention
here and let people know that these are coming
up. And I'm really proud of these things. I think
this is pretty neat where you tell people how
to make these drinks that are really, you know,
kind of niche and they can do them at home if
they want to. So I'm going to try some of these.
So, and anyhow, so. I mean, we are all, most
of us are adults here. So yeah, we can talk about
that. Yeah, yeah. Well, it does say that we have
explicit content on every podcast. So that means
that under 21 probably should not be listening
to it. And we don't encourage any minors to listen
to this. This is not for their humor. I mean,
even though they hear stuff worse than that in
school, I'm sure. But we don't encourage any
minor to listen to this. This is pure filth that
you shouldn't listen to. And so tomorrow I've
got to go back in for another gum surgery, right?
It sucks because... I told you about that, you
know, my tooth broke off, you know. Yeah, you
told me about that. Yeah, it fucking sucks. So,
anyhow, the crown broke off with the gum line
for no apparent reason, and then they had to
dig it out, and they have to put in an implant,
because I'm not going to go around looking like
a fucking jack -o' -lantern, right? So, all of
this, and then the first one they put in, the
bone broke off when they screwed the tooth in.
Then they had to do it again. And then the last
time they put so much of that material for the
bone to grow over that too much bone grew over
it. So then they had to dig it out more, but
it was so much bone that they decided to split
it into two diggings, two surgeries. So I got
to go back tomorrow and get the second surgery.
And then after that, hopefully they can scan
it and get my tooth in. But the problem is, is
I think on this cruise, I'm going to be wearing
a flipper tooth and I'm going to be drinking
a lot. I sure as fuck, I hope I don't lose that
bastard. You know? I hope you don't either. Yeah,
no, I once had a friend of mine. Her mom was
a lush, and she lost her false teeth from puking
out in the yard from drinking. I'm not kidding
you. She had everybody in the yard looking for
her false teeth the next day. Our best recollection
is a dog came up, smelled the puke, thought it
tasted like something, and ate her false teeth.
We don't know. But they weren't out there. But
not a pretty sight. I think one of the neighbors
was watching. They went out there and stole her
teeth. One of the old ladies next door knew who
said she didn't have them. Hey, this one got
drunk. Oh, there they are! Clackers is what a
guy called him that we used to work with. He
called him Clackers. And he used to come in and
go, I don't have my teeth in today. He said,
it's my dad's turn to use them. We think he was
joking. We're not for sure. We hoped. We hoped.
I remember that. We hoped. Yeah, we go, I ain't
got my clackers in. We never, we never questioned
it. No, no. Just like, okay, all right, fair
enough. You know what? You and your dad can share
teeth. You guys have the same DNA. I remember
that. Yeah. And he called them clackers. I ain't
got my clackers. I ain't got my clackers in today.
Oh, and I failed to tell the llama story. Do
you notice that on the last one? Yes, I did.
I listened this morning to our last one. I'm
like, that's the llama story. I've got to remind
him tonight. Okay, here's the deal. Yeah, it's
on the list. Go ahead and tell it. Get over with
it. Okay, all right. Okay, and then we'll go
to your story. All right, well. Me and Davey
used to drive down the gravel roads and have
a couple drinks, right? You know, state line,
right? State line gravel road out here or out
there, not out here. So out there near Cass County,
Miami County, it is a gravel road state line.
So we used to go there and have a couple of beers
because if you went down Holmes Road, there was
too many Cass Counties and, you know, Feltons
if you get far enough down there, you know. And
state line is a gravel road, and there usually
wasn't cops on there because it was a divided
road. One half was Missouri and one half was
state line, right? So there's like some confusion
about whose jurisdiction it was. So it was a
pretty easy road to go down. And honestly, not
to interrupt, but honestly, who's going to argue
over a gravel road? So we took advantage of it.
Yes. Yeah. Well, you were along with us a lot.
That's right. You know that gravel road well.
Yeah. Very well. I remember one night, there
was this arena, and I'll go to the llama story
here in a second. I'm coming home from BJ's house.
Remember BJ's house we all used to hang out at?
Mm -hmm. Okay. Well, I was coming home from there,
and I was fairly lit. And I'm driving down State
Line, and all of a sudden, there's this traffic
jam. I'm like, what the fuck? And there's somebody
out there with a light wave, and people are like,
oh, shit. This must be like a, you know, I was
kind of lit, and I'm like thinking, this must
be a road stop. This is a sobriety checkpoint,
and I'm fucking toast. But what it is is out
in the middle of, let's see, probably about 199th,
199th and State Line, just to the south of that,
there's this huge rodeo arena out in the middle
of nowhere that I knew nothing about. And everybody
was getting out of that rodeo while I was driving
home. And I'm I top that hill and I just see
a line of cars and people with that blue light,
you know, telling the cars to go on. And I'm
like, oh, fuck. And it's like, oh, too late now.
So I'm already in there and cars are behind me,
cars in front of me. And then I realized what
was going on. It is a huge arena out there. There's
a small sign over there that you can see that
says rodeo tonight. And then I found out through
other people there's like a 2 ,000 head arena
out there. I guess they have seats too or bleachers.
A 2 ,000 head arena out there where they have
rodeos every Saturday night. And I didn't know
it until I went through there. You know, usually
if you see one car, it's a miracle, right? About,
you know, 1 o 'clock on a Saturday night on State
Line. Yeah. Yeah. So, but okay, to the llama
story. Every day, Davey and I were driving down
the gravel road, having a drink. Not every day,
but every time. There was this llama farm at
the corner. And we kept looking at them, and
they'd look at us. So one day we stopped, and
we're like, hey, let's see if we can get the
llamas pissed off. So we started making all these
noises. Davey lets out this shrill scream that
lasted about a minute. And all of a sudden, all
the llamas looked up and came at us. They started
charging us. We had to fucking jump that fence,
tore our jeans and shit. And so we tell our friend
Johnny in Overland Park. His name's not Johnny.
He goes by that. But anyhow, we told him about
this. Oh, okay. Okay. So he goes, oh, bullshit.
You guys did not. That's a lie. We're like, okay.
All right. We'll come with us. So Davey's trying
to duplicate this noise. We're out there for
20 minutes. And Davey's doing every noise he
can do. I'm trying noises. And the guy's like,
yeah, I knew it was a lie. Finally, Davey does
one last yell. And he's like. The llamas all
look up and start charging us. Johnny, as we
call him, about tore his fucking nutsack off.
Ever since then, he always said, I will never
doubt you guys again. I believe you 100%. If
you tell me that you fucking hijacked a train,
I believe you. That's the llama story. And that's
why he sent me an email just simply saying llama.
And that's it. Okay. Okay. I want to go into
another story. Oh, cool. It was out on the gravel
roads. Okay. Something I just thought of, because
you were talking about the gravel roads around
State Line. Yes. And I thought about another
story. Okay. Me and John were out one night.
Imagine that. Do you remember the Devil Worshipping
Dome House? Yes, yes. It was off of the road
that would come off of 58 Highway there from
Snooze. Yeah, yeah. It was... It was on a gravel
road. Yes, yes, there's a cemetery cat -a -corner
to it. Yeah, and do you remember the night we
were pulled up in the driveway and the fucking
lights come on and they come out with guns and
shit and chase us the hell out of there? Hell
yeah, I remember that. Oh my God! Yeah, you were
talking about... Yeah, and there was like a pentagram
on the very top. But someone said it was like
a Masonic symbol or something like that, and
it could have been. But we were teenagers, and
we looked at, oh, that's a pentagram or a devil
worshiper. All we knew was devil. But they chased
us out of there one night. Yes. And at the time,
I thought, well, that proves they're devil worshipers.
And I got to think about it. I'll bet you every
kid around that, every kid in a 20 -mile radius
probably went up their driveway looking at their
house. I know for a fact everybody from Belton
knew that house was a devil worshiper. Yeah,
oh, do you think it really was a devil -worshipping
house? I don't know. That's the myth. I don't
know. You see, I always thought it came from
the top of it. It was just a weird house. Yeah.
It almost had like a steeple on it, remember?
And they did not like people around. No, no,
no, no. No, they had shotguns going on. Yeah,
they chased us off with shotguns that night.
You talk about a few kids pissing their pants
on the way out. That was us. Fuck, yeah. Oh,
yeah. No, I thought, you know, I had a long talk
with the Lord that night. Yeah. We all did. Yeah.
Wow. What a great story. I forgot all about that,
Rob. Yeah. Yeah. It was a lot. It looked like
one of them, like, building block cubes that,
you know, you got the different shapes, you stick
them in. Yeah. That's the way the house was built.
Yeah. On the outside, it was like an octagon.
Yeah, yeah. Here's why I thought it was a devil
-worshipping house. Here's why I thought it got
its name like this, but evidently it must have
been something else. At the very top. A lot of
people, everybody in our area knew it as a devil
-worshipping house. Well, I think it might have
came from somewhere. We didn't have no proof,
but that's what we called it. Well, the top of
it had like a pentagram -looking thing, and then
later on someone told me it was a Masonic symbol.
I don't know if that's true or not. I guess I
can look it up. That very well could be. But
we thought it was a pentagram, and I thought
that's how it got its reputation. But if everybody
knew it around that area, then maybe it was something
else that made people think that. Maybe they
saw them burning something. Like you said, we
were a bunch of teenagers. Yeah. But it sure
was fun to go there and fuck around until we
got lights and guns thrown on us. Until you get
shotguns pulled on you, yeah. Yeah. Who was driving
that? And I know quite a few people. Oh, no,
it was John that night. Okay, good, good. He
was more of an aggressive driver. I'm glad he
got us out of there. Yeah, especially when he
was scared. Yes. Oh, he got us out of there quick.
And all you and I had to do was duck down. Yeah,
yeah. We're like, John, we're saying a prayer
for you, but we're not getting hit. He had to
have his head up. He was driving. He had to.
Yeah, he had to. But I really think... He could
barely see over the steering wheel, so it worked
perfect. I know. I really don't think they're
going to shoot us, though, because they had an
opportunity to us, for sure, when they looked
down the lights and had the guns on us. At one
point, they did. We were sitting ducks. But you
don't ask those questions when someone's got
guns on you. You go, okay, I'm sorry. This is
me leaving. No problems here. Wow. Thank you,
Rob. That was cool. I guess we can go into your
story now. Go ahead. I mean, not this one, but
you have a story that you want to get to. Yeah,
yeah, my original one, yeah. Yeah, yeah, your
original one. Okay, well, on the last episode,
I went into... how they're trying to de -extinct
the dodo bird. Yeah. Somebody supposedly beat
him to de -extinction. No shit. Yeah. There is
a magnificent snow white wolf on the cover of
Time Magazine today. Accompanied by a headline
announcing the return of the dire wolf. So that
was extinct? Yes. This now extinct species is
possibly most famous for its fictional role on
Game of Thrones, but did exist more than 10 ,000
years ago when it roamed across the Americas.
Wow. It was an actual wolf, and it went extinct.
So they got its DNA from a fossil and made one.
Here we go. Okay. Okay, now, if you remember
right, on the last episode, I was talking about
the dodo bird, and they said they were the first
one to do that. Yeah. To make something. Okay.
According to this, and from what I'm reading,
they technically are not. And I'll get into that
after this story. Okay. Okay, the company Colossal
Biosciences is behind today's headlines. It announced
that it used deaf genetic engineering and ancient
DNA to breed three dire wolf puppies. and to
de -extinct the species. These puppies have been
born. Wow. Okay? Uh -huh. But while the young
wolves, Ronliss, Remus, and Colise, we'll say,
represent an impressive technological breakthrough,
Independent experts say they are not actually
dire wolves. Oh. Zoologist Philip Sedan from
the University of Otago in New Zealand explained
they are genetically modified gray wolves. Uh
-huh. Also, it describes itself as the world's
first and only The Extension Company. That's
where I had my problem with my last one. Anyway,
it has publicized its efforts to use similar
cutting -edge genetic techniques in its plan
to bring back extinct animals, including the
woolly mammoth and the Tasmanian tiger. Oh, wow.
You know, this is... Now, now, now, now. Can
you say Jurassic Park? Yeah, yeah. Well, we were
discussing that last week, right? Yeah, yeah,
yeah. Well, no, it was two nights ago. Okay.
Yeah, yeah, two nights ago. That's right. Wow.
Because I brought up about the dodo bird. We
were talking about how they're playing God and
stuff. And... mentioned Jurassic Park, and now
this article says that, and this is a totally
different company. Here's where I want to get
into this. Okay, the dodo bird story said they
did it first. Well, see, here's the problem.
They've injected the eggs. They're waiting for
the eggs to hatch. So, therefore, they have not
produced the animal yet. This company has. Okay.
This technically makes Colossal the first World's
Day station. Okay. But they're not technically
old -blooded dire wolves. They're modified gray
wolves. So who's right here? I agree with you.
I think they need to quit playing God. Yeah,
it's really scary when they get into stuff like
that. At least to me. Especially when they start
talking about bringing back fully mammoths and
Tasmanian tigers. Come on. Jurassic Park. Wow.
That's incredible. Like you said, then we got
AI with... Yep. It's coming. It is. Wow. Okay.
Okay. Thank you, Rob. I was shocked where I crossed
that one. Okay. Thank you, Rob. We don't have
any emails this week because my email is on the
blink again. So I apologize. That's how come
I didn't get anything from Ronnie or anything.
So I got to get back into it and try to salvage
whatever emails came through. Hopefully next
podcast I'll have some. Well, that's fine. We'll
get back from break. We have a couple of lists
we need to get to. Yes, we do. And we will do
that right after break. Yep. We've got our concert
list and we have our sauces list. Yes. All right.
Sounds good. All right, Rob. Everybody. All aware
of the Amber Alert, right? Well, get rid of your
disinfectants and rubber bedspreads, kids. It's
the all -new Amber Herd Alert System. This fantastic
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Renusic cartridge. Oh shit, what's that over
there? Oh, no. This island of horrible jokes.
I can't take my dog to the lake. The ducks keep
attacking him. That's what I get for having a
purebred dog. Next up. Things Overheard in Hell.
The brand new Charles in Charge reboot is the
only show available all week. Two douchebags,
a microphone, and an effort to keep everything
fresh. We offer you first world problems. The
ATM wants me to make a new PIN number for security
purposes. I don't have an extra two minutes.
I need my Starbucks. I'm having the worst day
ever. Next time you take a dump, listen to two
douchebags and a microphone. It's been proven
in laboratory rats to relax your anal canal.
Get in cover. Jam X. What the hell happened?
You were the generation of change. You never
wanted to be one of them. Apathy spoke for you.
Fuck the man. Fuck the system. What the hell
happened? The generation of angst? The generation
of non -compliance? Is now buying a boat? You're
really fed up to kill someone dangled a dollar
near you? Great job, Xers. Everything's ruined.
You watch the news. It looks grim. Is an apocalypse
inevitable? We suggest you download all our podcasts
beforehand and have multiple mobile chargers.
We have the post -apocalypse test. Remember,
post -apocalypse, to have a sewage bit. Sewage,
untreated, can result in serious illness and
other obstacles for your family to live well.
You also should have some chemicals stocked up.
Maybe bags of chlorine or something of such to
sanitize the sewage per week. Don't you think
so? I'm fine. Yeah, you're doing fine. You got
some lists you want to get to. Go ahead. Which
one are you going to do first? the concerts we
were supposed to do on Sunday night. That's right.
Okay, that sounds good. Okay, and mine isn't
necessarily in order. And like I told you before
we went on the air, there was other concerts
that I'd much rather add on this list. I just
couldn't remember who all was there. I remember
a couple of them, you know, but there was like
four people. Or band concerts, you know. Oh,
yeah. But this is a list I came up with. Okay.
I'm going to start out with Hank Williams Jr.
at Sandstone in 1992. Oh, I bet that was good.
There was something special about that concert.
Back in the 80s, Hank Williams Jr. was supposed
to appear in concert in Kansas City. Well, he
went out partying with the Chiefs, some of the
Chiefs, before the concert. He come in, got on
stage, sat on a stool, drunk. In the middle of
his first song, he got up and he said, fuck you,
Kansas City, and he walked off stage. Well, Kansas
City swore they would never have him back. In
1992, Hank Williams Jr. was at Sandstone for
the very first time after that. And I was at
that concert. Okay, cool. That was a good concert,
man. I believe it. Okay, and then the next one
on my list. It was a little concert. It was Kansas
City's very... Shooting Star. And they were at
a bar called Bollies in St. Joe, Missouri. And
it was a Bollies bar. And their song, Last Chance,
which is my favorite song by them. But he could
tell, you know. Fucking awesome. Yeah. Okay.
Next up, I'm going to go with another shooting
star concert. Okay. Yes. Yeah. It's Kansas City,
Kansas, downtown Kansas City, Kansas. It's off
of Minnesota Avenue a couple of blocks. Right,
right, right, right. Well, the reason why I picked
this one is because they had a great opening
act. Okay. Brewer and Shipley. Oh, I remember
them. Yeah, their big country act. 70, yeah,
they were great. Oh, they were kind of like maybe
Chris Stapleton or something like that, maybe?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. They were like, oh,
shit, like America. Oh, okay, okay. Georgia.
Okay, I got what you're saying. All right, go
ahead. I'm sorry. jealous jealous yeah me and
a buddy of mine Curtis not a Curtis you know
okay went to that one dude it was awesome very
cool yeah doing acid and they floated that damn
hologram pig over us we flipped the fuck out
dude it was funny It was funny. Okay, and...
Okay, I'm going to go with that one. Okay, I'm
going to go with Sticks, Ted Nugent, and Night
Ranger at Sandstone. I can't remember what year.
Okay. um i don't remember what does that make
up oh damn yankees yes oh is that when they formed
or go ahead well no Tommy Shaw came out, Ted
Dugan came out, and the members of Night Granger
came out. They made up Damn Yankees, and they
played the Damn Yankees song. It was badass.
That is cooler than hell. Yeah, yeah. Wow, that
would have been a real treat. Oh, it was, it
was. Okay, and then my next... which is going
to throw you off a little bit. That's okay. You'll
understand, but you'll understand when I get
back. It was 1986. Actually, March 21st, 1986.
I looked it up. Okay. It was Loverboy and the
Hooters at Municipal Auditorium in Kansas City.
That does throw me off, Ron. No, we were working
at Justin Jim's, dude. Oh, really? Okay. Yeah.
It was actually supposed to be me and Clint.
Big Clint. Yeah, yeah. Blonde hair, big Clint.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, he got grounded. So I
ended up going by myself without my parents knowing.
They said the only way I could go was if I took
a friend, and they liked Clint because he was
big, you know. Yeah, yeah. And he was great.
Very nice guy, you know. Yeah. And, well, he
got grounded. I just didn't let my parents know,
so I went to that concert by myself. Cool. It
was a very good night. I'll just put it that
way. But, no, the reason why this concert is
on my list is because of Loverboy's drummer,
Matt Brentman. I don't know how you pronounce
his last name. Okay. Loverboy's drummer that
night at Municipal Auditorium played Wipeout
three times flat to flat. Wow. Dude. And they
only gave him like maybe a 10 -minute break after
that where everybody else, yeah, he was, he gave
everybody, I don't know anybody that's ever done
that. But I actually, I lived with that person.
Very cool. Okay, and for my final one. August
25th, year 2000 at Sandstone. Kiss farewell to
her. Cool. Uh -huh. We were 23 seats from that
stand where he went. Very cool. Yeah, and my
stepson will always remember that costume. Oh,
yeah, of course. I still have the T -shirt. Cool.
All right, Mark. All right. I love that list,
Rob. Man, you had a... The cool thing is you
have such a vivid memory of all of them. Yeah,
like I told you before, there's others. There
was multiple bands I just couldn't take to the
top, so I went with these. And a lot of these
I have good memories of, you know what I mean?
Very cool. I get it. I get it. Okay, mine aren't
in any order except for the last two. The last
two were solidly the first two. Solidly head
and tail above all the rest. Guns N' Roses, Metallica,
Body Count at Arrowhead Stadium. I believe it
was 1992? No, I think it was probably... Ah,
shit. Use your illusion. I bet you it was 1994.
1994. And the whole concert kicked ass. GNR was
headlining it because they alternated in Kansas
City they were headlining. And Metallica was
the first band to go on. But Body Count was the
opener. Okay, so Body Count goes on. And it was
nuts. It was insane. Because there's a lot of
metalheads and a lot of African American metalheads
there. Which I didn't know existed until then.
And they're all going nuts. And it was cool because
I thought I was kind of afraid of it. I was thinking
there's going to be fights, right? I'm like,
okay, there's going to be some fucking bonehead
that does something stupid and starts everybody
to fighting. But everybody was just happy to
be there, you know, because the body count fans,
you know, a lot of them were also rap fans, you
know, and there's a lot of metalhead fans that
crossed over into rap music. And I learned something
that day. I'm like, wow, okay. Don't judge a
book by its cover. Don't think that this person
is... Oh, go ahead. Look at your new friend down
at the river market. Oh, yeah, yeah, Clint. Clint
Wyatt. Yeah, yeah, Wyatt. Yeah, I saw him. I
saw him today, but he's in a hurry. But I hope
to talk to him again because I told him, I said,
hey, I said, you want to talk to us some more?
He said, I sure will. But I think he's kind of
having a bad day. He had a stroke, and he's in
a walker, and he's kind of grimacing. Oh, shit,
really? Well, I understand that. After I asked
him, I noticed he was grimacing. So I got out
of there. I go, all right. I go, hey, do you
need anything, Wyatt? He goes, no, no, no. He
goes, thank you, though. He goes, I'm fine. I
just need to get home. I'm like, all right. So
I got out. Hopefully we get to hear from him
again. I hope so. He is such a charming guy,
just a nice guy. And, oh, my God, you ought to
see him on Women Walking By. He is so animated.
He fucking puts down his shades, and he gets
his eyes really big. He's like, ooh. And I'm
like, dude, it's funnier than hell. He's awesome.
That's where we need a video camera, someone
like Wyatt. So, okay. So Guns N' Roses, Body
Count, and Metallica in the middle. But here
was the other part of the story. They got concerts
shut down for a while at Arrowhead. And Guns
N' Roses and Metallica, they tried to put them
up on charges. But here's what happened. Intermission
between Metallica and Guns N' Roses. Someone,
they had a cameraman go around and prompt chicks
to show them their tits. Started doing that.
Well, then it progressed into fucking vagina
shots. women were like bending over they're bending
over pulling their stuff down and putting aside
their panties and fucking they were showing close
up of their vaginas and this went on the whole
halftime and as a matter of fact when Guns N'
Roses come out people are like boo boo we want
to see more vagina and it was just insane Back
then, we probably knew some of them. Probably,
probably. And I was just like, that whole concert
was an awakening on so many levels. They can
do that for real? Yes, they can, and they did.
And then City Council was all over because I
guess somebody from City Council's daughter was
up on the big screen. And that was the start
of a bunch of shit. I'll try to look that up.
I would love to tell that on the Music Creeps,
because I happen to be there, and I happen to
witness a lot of shit go down. Yeah, yeah. Anyhow,
it was fantastic, but the show itself was great.
Axl Rose. That would make a good segment on Music
Creeps, just saying. Yes, it would. And Axl Rose
was on his game that night. He could sing good,
and he came in there on time because he was notorious
for showing up a couple hours late and starting
riots. But that time, they came out on time.
As a matter of fact, they came out too quick
because the show before was pretty fucking good.
So, anyhow, so that was great. So then my next
one would probably be, and like I said, this
stuff isn't in order until the last two. Motley
Crue and Whitesnake, the Girls, Girls, Girls
Tour. And that was one of the best concerts ever
because women were like jumping on your back
and fucking flipping out their tits and stuff
and walking up and fucking grabbing you and shit.
They were just going insane over Motley Crue.
And anybody with long hair was free game. Any
guy with long hair. And we were just having a
fucking blast. And Whitesnake came out at first
and just blew everybody away. They had a great
show. And Motley Crue came out and kicked ass,
too. This is when Vince was on his game. He was
skinny, blonde. And these women, I mean, it was
just like a panty melter. I mean, these women
were just going insane over Motley Crue. And
it was great. It was great to be there and great
to witness that, just like the GNR Metallica.
So I feel very privileged. Was that the concert?
That me, you, and John were at the record store
at Bastion Mall when Bon Jovi and Richie Samboro
walked in. No, no, that concert. And we had traded
Bon Jovi tickets for Motley Crue. Yes, okay,
no, no, no. Was it that one? No, that was not
it, no. That was later. This was earlier. This
was the girls' tour. That would have been about
86? 87? Yeah, yeah. Well, I did go to that concert
with you guys. I just, I was so fucked up. I
can't remember. Well, I was alone because I got
way in there because some chick had like great
seats and grabbed me and said, come on. And I
was like, man, okay. And so we got down there
and she had two tickets. So I got like third
row to that place. Like I said, just because
I have long hair. It was fantastic. All I know
is I made it home with you two. I was all right.
Well, we found each other somewhere in the lobby.
Well, I probably, I'm thinking I stayed with
John. Yeah, I think you did. And the only reason
I did is because I got picked to go up front
by somebody. Otherwise, I would have been with
you guys. I don't remember. But no, she had third
row. And I thought what she was doing was, I
was like, oh, we're going to get kicked out.
She's going to go up there and try to charm them,
and then they're going to see me. I'm talking
about the bouncers. They're going to see me and
throw me out and keep her. But no, she actually
had tickets third row. So I was like, okay, this
is even better. So because when she went up to,
like, the bouncer stopped us, I was like, oh,
shit, here we go. She's getting up front, and
I'm going home. But no, no, she had. Third row
tickets so that was a great concert not just
because of that but because of everything all
the shenanigans going on everything it was just
crazy and Vince is just like in his panty dropping
mode all these chicks are just going insane over
him and it's fantastic so Okay, then the next
one would have to be Ozzy with Metallica Master
of Puppets tour opening up for Ozzy And this
is the one where I got on the actual live video
of Bark at the Moon and I'm howling. Remember
that? Yeah. Yeah, I'm at Bark at the Moon and
I'm howling because that's what they directed
us to do. We were over there in one section and
all of a sudden this director lady comes out
and she starts dividing everybody up. She divided
me on the side that stayed there. And she divided
other people on the other side. And I'm like,
what is this bitch doing? And then the chick
on the shot in the dark video, they brought her
out and it looked like she was tied up. And they
had people that were hired over there looking
like concert goers passing her around. You know,
kind of body surfing her, but she's laying flat.
And they're passing her around and they're filming
that. And they made it look like concert goers
were doing this. And then they were filming us.
and telling us how, go crazy, and all this stuff.
So I got on there. It's briefly, and that was
a great concert just because, you know, it was
like they came out and directed the fucking thing,
and it was pretty neat. But it was a great concert.
Metallica was really good at that time, really.
I really enjoyed them at that time. Oh, they
were. Yeah, later on, I don't like their stuff
at all. The Black Album, to me, was starting
to dissension down. The Black Album was really
good. See, I like the Black Album. A lot of people
do. There was nothing. Load, Reload, all that
stuff is garbage to me. And that's my opinion.
Yeah, Roy, all that stuff. St. Anger, it's bullshit
to me. I don't think they... care about writing
music anymore, in my opinion. But I think a lot
of it was Cliff Burton's influence on the band
also. Very well could be. Very easily could be.
My next one would be Wasp opening for Kiss on
the Animal Eyes tour in Municipal Auditorium.
And Wasp blew Kiss off the stage. It wasn't three
shows later and Kiss dropped him. Because Blackie
Law has come out there and Chris Holmes and I
believe it was Randy Piper still on guitar. And
they came out and they're already all tall. Blackie
Law is like 6 '4". They came out on these fucking
stiletto stilts. Yeah. And they look like they're
8 foot tall. And Blackie had this stand on his
mic stand, a foot stand. He would jump up on
there in stilettos and he would leer over the
audience. He would leer his whole body and just
look at people. He'd be like a foot away from
them. And then he went on to say, I used to be
a major league pitcher for the Texas Rangers.
And he goes, you motherfuckers up there in the
top row, you think I can't hit you? I can. I'll
hit you in a New York second. He said, all you
got to do is go crazy. And he started nailing
people with posters. And it was insane. They
had women on torture racks. They were throwing
raw meat at the audience. I got smacked in the
back of the head. It was just insane. And then
when Kiss came on, people were going, it was
kind of boring. What the fuck is this? Yeah,
it's like, oh, man, fuck. Here comes Paul Stanley
out wincing and fucking mincing. Hey, Gene, that
lady said she had a baby with Gene. And Gene's
over there going, no, no, no, no, no. And then
he's going, yeah. And then he goes, that baby
had the longest fucking tongue I ever seen. And
everyone's going, bring Wasp back on. So anyhow.
All right. So that was fantastic. The next one
is the Dead Daisies in Nashville at the Music
Hatch on Cannery Row. That thing. You keep talking
about that. That thing was so good because Glenn
Hughes is so good. Me and Davey watched that
guy at 70 years old hit falsetto perfectly. He
was the epitome of a rock star. He was dressed
up to the T's. He had this multicolored flare
shirt on and really tight striped pants, boots,
bracelets. Necklaces, he had his fingernails
painted different colors perfectly, and he sang
everything perfectly. I mean, just couldn't have
done better. He was such a consummate, talented
professional. It wasn't a crazy concert. It was
a concert where you just sat there and awed over
somebody's talent. And he could play bass, like,
with the best. And he's a pick bassist, so he's,
you know, heavier. He uses a pick. So that was
really good because of that, just seeing him.
The rest of the band was fantastic. Tommy Clefetos
is one of my favorite drummers. He was just killing
it. Doug Altrich is a very, very good guitarist.
He's great. And then the guy that finances it,
the billionaire guy, I forgot his name, but he
was playing rhythm guitar. And he's not bad either
for being a billionaire that made his money off
of software and is financing a band just to be
in it. He was pretty good. So, number two, Zach
Sabbath at the waiting room in Omaha, Nebraska.
That thing was insane. Val went with me, and
she didn't really, she liked Ozzy and Zach and
all that stuff, but didn't love them. But her
back was hurting, so she went over to the corner
of the stage, they let her right next to the
stage, and she got to slap... Zach's back probably
30 times. Every time he came through, he came
on her side. She gave him a slap on the back,
and he liked giving her the thumbs up, and she
had such a fucking blast. But Zach went out in
the front, the front of the waiting room, went
up and down the sidewalk playing. He went to
the bar in back, jumped up on top of the bar
stand, and started running around there. It's
in a big U circle. He ran all the way around
there in back playing guitar. He ran through
every section of the crowd. He went in the bathroom
playing guitar. He played guitar every fucking
where. And he was doing everything, playing it
above his head, behind his back, with his teeth.
I mean, and he never missed anything. It was
insane because of his talent. And he sang, too.
And he's playing old Black Sabbath tunes, Aussie
tunes, like Wall of Doom, Snowblind, Paranoid,
War Pigs. He played all of that stuff. But in
Zach Wilde's style. And I'll never forget that
show. I got to slap his back a couple of times.
He was just so good. So good. And then number
one is Ozzy and Lampy, Missouri at the then Swiss
Villa Amphitheater. I knew you were going to
say that. And I described that, I think, last
podcast. And simply, I could not watch the show.
And my friend Melissa couldn't either because
of the damn hill rods fucking jumping off of
the cliff to get to the premium seats. Like I
said, the first three or four made it. We thought
they were going to kill themselves. Dude, I think
that probably was the top concert ever. It was.
The way you describe it. And then the guy screaming
at his girlfriend out there on that winding road.
You know, one side is a cliff that goes down
straight down to the lake with a bunch of trees
in between. And then the other side is a big
cliff going way up there. And he's in the middle
of this road, and people are trying to get, you
know, get back up to 13 Highway, I believe it
is. And they're right in the road screaming at
each other. He's going, you fucking bitch. I'm
going to smack your stupid head. You don't talk
to that motherfucker anymore. I'm calling him
right now. You motherfucker. I'm going to get
you. I'm going to have him come down here. I
mean, we're just like going, what the fuck is
going on here? You know? Actually, I think it's
83 Highway. It is 83, but it goes up to 13, doesn't
it? You're right, it is 83. Yeah, 13 goes north
and south. 83 goes east and west, and that's
where the amphitheater is. But 83 goes up to
13, and everybody was going up to 13 to get out
of there. And on 83 Highway, on those winding
hills, they were in the middle of it, dodging
in and out of cars, screaming at each other.
And we're just like, what the fuck is going on?
Between that and the hill rods fucking jumping
off of the 50 -foot cliff from the terrace section
onto the premium seats, four or five of them
made it, and the rest of them ended up in stretchers.
I got why they were fighting. Why? She stopped
him from jumping. Probably. He was pissed. You
damn bitch, I would have got front row if it
wasn't for you. It was fucking insane. I'll never
forget that concert. And Alice in Chains opened
up for him. So that was even more of a bonus.
That's just, I think, pretty much when Man in
the Box came out. And fucking Jerry Cantrell
was an animal. I mean, Lane Staley was still
not too drugged out. He sounded fucking spot
on. Jerry Cantrell was just fucking killing it
up there. I mean, that crunchy stuff. And then
Ozzy came out, and Ozzy did really good. It's
just I really didn't get to watch it that much
because of the show going on behind us. And like
I said, four, five, six of them made it. All
the rest of them did not. They went home from
the hospital because they all ended up in stretchers.
I wished I had a way to video that. I wish there
was video. I tried looking it up. There's no
video. It was too early in the video stuff. There's
no phones like that. There weren't even really
cell phones per se yet. They were, but they were
huge and very expensive. I'm sure. I'm positive.
One of the bands has video of it. I'm sure they
do, and I would love to see that because that
would be so entertaining. They need to release
that. Yes, they do. And that could be a one -off.
They could go, the Hill Rods fucking jumping
off of a cliff at Lampy, Missouri or something,
and it would sell more than the Ozzy and Alice
in Chains would. Anyhow, that is my list, and
let's take our second break and come back with
our sauces. Does that sound like something you
want to do? Yeah, that sounds good. All right,
and we're going way over, but who cares? We're
having fun. We'll be right back. Yeah, we are.
The apocalypse just happened. You don't know
what to do. You don't know where to go. But we
can tell you what you can eat. Garlic mustard
could and should be a go -to food during an apocalypse.
Garlic mustard is plentiful everywhere. It is
actually an invasive weed, but it can be very
delicious and easily taken from about any pasture.
Garlic mustard can be stewed or even pan fried
for delicious taste. It can also be added to
other ingredients, whether it's a salad or any
other type of food to enhance it. Garlic mustard
should be a go -to staple during the apocalypse.
Rob can now be a mentor for children's parties
and bar mitzvahs. That's right. Come on and rent
you a Rob today. That's right. Come by and rent
Rob for a day. A day. A day. Watch Rob consume
seven bottles a night and still break dance and
moonwalk. Watch Rob Red. Fart down a building.
Fart down a building. Rob Red. who assumes no
responsibility whatsoever. He is not a babysitter,
and he doesn't give one hell of a shit about
your children. Please remember to corral every
little bastard you have before Rob gets there,
and Wal will not put up with any backtalk. He
will promptly get them in the place. Rob Bragg
assumes no responsibility for anything that could
be stolen from his visit. Rob Bragg has no responsibility
whatsoever in any help him of any situation.
Read a Rob today. by a parakeet. That's right,
I said a parakeet. We will keep you informed
as new developments come in. Until then, Rob
Red is lying on the ground screaming like a little
girl. Hi, all. This is Chicago. I am the most
dangerous city in North America. You can't touch
me. Oh, yeah? This is Kansas City here. Hold
my beer, bitch. Yes, it's true. Mark is an old
bastard. It's also true that Mark uses a lot
of ibuprofen. But Mark would like to tell you,
if you see any pictures of him roofing ibuprofen,
it's obviously fake, and you're to take the pictures
and tear them up immediately. A constant pursuit
for a real knee slapper. It's strange insults
from an alien. Real hilarity. May, your five
-year -old neighbor have all their violin lessons
during all of your hangovers. Two douchebags
and a microphone that's getting ready to go on
a trip. A market. Kansas City chapter. And I
am Rob, who is keeping his ass at home at beautiful
Nine Wall Arm of Lake of the Ozarks. Rob, thanks
for making me feel bad. You got a list to go
to, so I don't know what else to say. Okay, and
this is Tulsa King's request of our... Seven
favorite sauces? Oh, I think he likes to be known
as Ronnie and Tulsa, Tulsa King. That's the way
he signs everything. Okay, well, I'm normally
the one that announces things. Unless he says
different. I just sign Tulsa King. Okay, no,
that's the way he signs every one of them at
the bottom. Ronnie and Tulsa, Tulsa King. Anyhow,
go ahead. Okay, okay. Well, once again, this
one is not. Any certain order. Okay. I've had
a busy week. Lucky I came up a few times. Yeah,
you're a fucking player. Okay, I'm going to throw
out there my first, one of my favorites, yum
yum sauce. Oh, yeah. It's like a thousand island,
man. It's great. Yeah. I like yum yum. Yum Yum
Sauce is perfect. Go ahead. What were you saying?
I said Yum Yum Sauce is perfect. I love it. Anyhow,
go ahead. Yes. Okay. And for my favorite barbecue
sauce, you know this one. Uh -huh. I'm going
to have to go with Farrelly's Jack Stack Barbecue
Original. Yeah. I can buy it at Walmart down
here. That's excellent. Everybody try it. You'll
know what we're talking about when we talk about
Jack Stack. Well, yeah, there's been a lot of
sauces that have been done differently since,
but the Old Faithful is still the best. Okay,
next. Yeah. Yep. Yeah, that's good sauce. Perfect
on roast. Do you have any favorite, is it Lee
and Perrins, or do you have any favorite brand?
Normally I go Lee and Perrins. Yeah, me too.
I'll take what I get. When it comes at it, it
all pretty much tastes the same. Yeah, I think
I like Lee and Perrins a little bit more, and
that's because they got a better consistency
to me. But anyhow, go ahead. Oh, yeah. Mm -hmm.
Oh, that sounds good. Understand. You know, if
you don't have any sour cream. Uh -huh. Some
people are known to use ranch dressing on their
bacon, too. Oh, I've done that. If you add the
bacon ranch, that's the bomb. It is good. Okay,
and next, for, like, pork, I've got to go with
57 sauce. Okay. This is my number one go -to
right here. Okay. Ketchup. Yeah, yeah, yep. Ketchup
goes with everything. Ketchup is perfect. Yeah.
I even put ketchup on my eggs. Oh, I do too.
I love them on my eggs, especially normally.
My dad taught me that. Yeah, my dad taught me
that. Yeah. I would agree with that 100%. Mine
are in order. So, that was it, right? Yeah. Okay.
Mine are in order. My seventh is Smack Your Mama
Sauce. If you've had it, you know what I mean.
It's quite a title, but it has a pretty damn
good punch to it. And it's called Smack Your
Mama Sauce, and you can get it online. And specialty
stores used to carry it. I don't know if they
still do. What does it go on? It goes on about
anything. It's kind of a really, it's not crazy
hot, but it's hot with almost a sweet vinegar
aftertaste. It's a hot sauce that isn't crazy
heat. Okay, okay. But it has a really good kind
of a vinegar, maybe even somewhat of a citrus
taste. It's really good. My next one would be
Texas Pete's Smoking Hot Sauce. That thing is
an ass burner. I mean, you can eat it and you
can survive, but the next day you are in hell
when it exits your body. But it is good. It is
really good. It's got a real heavy smoke flavor
in it. I don't know what they smoke it with.
It's a different type of a smoke than something
that you use on beef. And it's got a really,
really hot base to it. But it's not so hot that
you can't stand it. And it's really good for
accenting vegetables. It's really good on vegetables.
Chili, it is fantastic in chili. And it pops
your chili right out of there. I mean, it's good
stuff. All right. My next one is good old Crystal
Hot Sauce. That stuff is fantastic. Have you
ever had it? I've never had it. It's excellent.
I love it. It's just Crystal Hot Sauce. I believe
it's from Louisiana also. It's great stuff. Yeah,
yeah, yeah. I was always a big fan of Louisiana.
I'll go into that when you're done. If you get
a chance, Crystal, it's great hot sauce. My next
one would be, and I don't think I sell it anymore.
I have not seen it in a long time, but it's Cascone
Lemon Pepper Alfredo. Cascone is a local, you
know, Italian restaurant. Yeah. And at least
for a while, they sold a Lemon Pepper Alfredo
that was insane. It was so good. And I hope...
they still sell it but i don't know um i've looked
around and i have not been able to find it maybe
i can find it online um that would be my number
five or no let's see four that's my number four
um number three would be what a burger spicy
ketchup oh man that stuff is the bomb um When
you come up? Yeah, I've been to Whataburger one
time. Okay. I think I used a regular ketchup.
Okay. Well, you don't notice it necessarily at
first like I didn't. And the only way I knew
they had it was they sold it in plastic bottles
at Price Chopper. And I was like, what? I'm like,
I didn't recall seeing that the next time I look
up there. On the ketchup section, it says regular
or spicy. I'm like, okay, they do have it here.
So it's great stuff. When we go there, you'll
see it. I mean, the next one is Dave's Hot Chicken
Sauce. Oh, that stuff is fantastic. Only reason
why that is not on my list is I ain't been there
yet. I'm on my way, brother. It will be on your
list. I'm trying to plan the weekend to come
up. Okay. Dave's Hot Chicken Sauce is the bomb,
dude. The bomb. And Saturday night, that Saturday
night I come up, we all are doing a side -by
-side podcast. That sounds good to me. All right.
You got it. Because I got to be back home Sunday.
Okay. That'll work. We'll make it Saturday night.
Saturday night, side to side. Maybe I get told
for dinner. And you're going to have to take
day off because we're going to Jess and Jeff's
for dinner beforehand. Okay. All right. Sounds
good to me. All right. The next one after that
is garlic expressions, which I'm going to introduce
you to also. It is a relatively famous sauce
now. It's a roasted garlic sauce. It's kind of
like a dressing, but it's also a marinade. And
that stuff is just out of this world. That roasted
garlic, however they do it, is just fantastic.
And then my number one would have to be A1 sauce
to this day. Love this stuff. Can't get enough
of it. There you go. Yeah. That's it right there.
So, Rob, you got something you want to go into?
Yeah, I do. Unforgettable scene in a Hollywood
classic, The Godfather, was an unplanned moment
that was captured on camera. Okay. Remember the,
okay, despite the movie being released in 1972,
it is still enduring popular with fans regularly.
Hoisting theories and facts about... crime drama,
including the fact that one word isn't used throughout
the duration of the movie. Yeah. You know the
movie I'm talking about, the original Godfather
movie? Yes, yeah. Yep, I do know. With Marlon
Brando. Okay. The renowned scene is fondly remembered
by fans of the film with many sightings. is as
one of the most memorable moments in the movie,
which director Francis Ford Coppola could soon
be updated. However, the filming of the scene
was spontaneous and not even lead actor Mullen
Brando. in the film is recording as the one greatest
in history with Brando's legitimate fury towards
the co -star even featuring an unscripted scene.
And while there was numerous moments that showcased
his exceptional acting prowess, this part of
the film seemed to be a completely random occurrence.
Okay. wasn't supposed to be there. Apparently,
a stray had meandered onto the set and eventually
found itself featured in one of the biggest movies
in Hollywood history. That's cool. Coppola recounted
the moment he decided to incorporate the cat
into the scene and his disastrous results in
the filming of the cat for the first time. He
remarked, the cat in Marlon's hands was not planned
for. I saw the cat running around the studio.
Okay. And took it and put it in his hands without
a word. The filming crew and insider know that
during the scene, they couldn't hear a word Brando
uttered because the cat was purring so loudly.
Was not supposed to be in that scene. I know
that scene also. And look how iconic it is. I
know. He's sitting there patting a cat in the
flat. Wow. That's awesome. It took me this many
years to run across that story. That is cool.
I've never known that. That is so cool. That
is really neat. That is a cool piece of history.
A lot of people don't know. Wow. Yeah, it was
a stray cat on the set that they grabbed and
put in his hand. Actually, Francis Ford Coppola
just walked up and put it in his hand. Wow. And
Marlon Brando did what he did with it. And it
worked out perfectly. Marlon Brando was so good
when he was barking out his stuff and he was
just stroking that cat. It was iconic. He's like
this big mob guy, big guy, the biggest. Which
is something my mobster would do. Yeah, yeah.
He'd be there petting a cat and going, good kitty,
I want you to kill every one of them. Aw, kitty,
kitty. You know, it's just, yeah. I've got one
along the mob thing. The Sopranos co -stars Michael
Imperioli, who was Christopher Moltisanti, one
of the biggest characters, and Steve Sciarippa,
who was Bobby Bacliari, have come together for
one last job. In a remote container yard, they
find a mysterious note. With love, Italy. It
reads, A dubious Sciarippa asks Imperioli, Do
you think this is some kind of message? But despite
their gangster characters, Nefarious Pass, there's
nothing sinister about this message, which comes
from Nestle Sparkling Water San Pellegrino. In
a video series called The Nice Guys, Imperioli
and Sciarippa set out on a mission to bring the
brand's newest Italian creation stateside. Created
by agency Ogilvy, The Nice Guys promotes San
Pellegrino's Ciao, a line of flavored sparkling
waters. launched in February. The ads with the
Sopranos duo are a fresh direction for the brand,
leaning into nostalgia and humor while playing
homage to its Italian roots. This should do very
well. The ad is already getting noticed, and
that's what Nestle was banking on. I'll have
to try their flavored sparkling waters. The regular
San Pellegrino is pretty crisp and refreshing,
and those are my words. I like San Pellegrino.
It's a very good product. And I can't wait to
try their chow series because I'll bet you it
will have that same mineral water taste that
comes from Italy, only with flavors in it and
probably steeped or the essence of these flavors.
So I think it's going to be really good. All
right, Rob, you got anything? It's 9 .30, though.
Yeah, yeah, I got one more. Okay, go ahead. This
is one I found. Seven driving laws that make
zero sense. Okay, sounds good. It's actually
some of them, you know, I can see. Okay. A lot
of these are older laws, too. Got to keep that
in mind. Okay. The first one, no driving without
shoes. I actually knew that. In many states,
it's a common myth that driving barefoot is illegal,
but in most places... It's perfectly legal. I
think there's two states where it's illegal.
Yeah. Oddly enough, some local laws still imply
or suggest that shoes are required. Okay. In
other words, just check out where you're at.
Yeah, yeah. And that would be local ones like...
Or just don't get stupid. Don't get pulled over.
That's what you do right there, Rob. Don't get
stupid. Don't get pulled over. Cool. The second
one, no eating while driving. And this, okay,
some jurisdictions have rules that penalize eating
while behind the wheel. Logic is to reduce distracted
driving. Okay. Okay. So, yeah, that goes back
to distracted driving. It's one of those laws
that cops really got to be having a bad day.
Well, if you come at them all flippant, that's
one of the cards they pull. This is just from
experience being around people. When they get
flippant, they're like, all right, well, if you
want to be a pain in the ass, watch me. I'll
be more of a pain in the ass. Oh, you're not
wearing shoes, I see. Okay. Or, oh, you have
a cheeseburger in your hand. Okay. You know.
This is stuff. It's like the good old taillight
out. How can you prove it? You know, well, it's
working now. Well, it wasn't working when I saw
you. Go ahead. No, I said, that's what they say.
They go, well, it wasn't working when I pulled
you over. And then you go, well, it's working
now. What do you do now where I got you pulled
over? So go ahead. I'm sorry. Well, well, one
thing I should have mentioned about this article,
it also says how the laws, vague. You know, because
it's like sipping a coffee while at a red light
illegal. What about eating a protein bar on a
long trip? You know, stuff like that. True. Okay?
Yeah. The next law. Can you get a DUI? It's a
movie. I don't know. It doesn't have a motor.
Go ahead. I have the answer. Okay. You could
be charged with a DUI while riding a horse or
even a bicycle in many places in the United States.
Okay. While operating any vehicle while in Texas,
it is dangerous. Many feel the horse scenario
is a stretch. Horses often know their way home
better than their riders. Okay. Like I said,
yeah, some of these laws, they're older laws,
but it's a stretch. Uh -huh. Law enforcement
argues it's still a public safety issue. Yeah.
I can see that. Okay, next up. Headlights are
required in daylight, even in good weather. Some
states require drivers to use headlights during
certain hours or weather conditions, which is
the state of Missouri. Even when visibility is
perfectly fine, which is not Missouri. Yeah.
This can help with visibility in fog or rain.
Applying the rule in broad daylight on a clear
day seems excessive. Drivers often forget to
end up, and they end up taking it for something
they didn't actually impact safety. Now, why
would you need headlights during the day, bright
sunny day? But in some states, they can ticket
you for that. That's another one of those ones
that's vague. Yeah. Those are one of the laws
that I have a problem with, if you got a second.
Do you have a second? Yeah, I got one, two, three
more, but go ahead. Okay. To me, that's a gateway
law to where if they just don't like your looks,
they can stop you for that legally. And I don't
like that because to me that is kind of infringing
on a person's rights. You know, I mean, in a
different way. I find it easy to be manipulated,
that kind of a law. So anyhow, go ahead. I just
wanted to say that real quick. Okay. Yeah, I'm
kind of liking these actions too. Okay. Number
five, no honking in certain situations. Wow.
Okay. Got me? Okay. Honking your horn in a non
-emergency can get you fined in certain cities.
Unnecessary honking is annoying. Enforcing silence
in high traffic or confusing intersections seems
counterproductive. Horns are meant to alert,
not just in emergencies, but in moments of unnecessary.
Taking that tool away in non -threatening situations.
It doesn't make sense. It's like banning someone
from saying excuse me in a crowded room. Uh -huh.
I see that. I agree with that, but you know,
I've done a lot of work on the Northeast, right?
I've told you about that numerous times, and
we all know this. Okay. Up there, they honk a
lot when they're passing you on the freeway.
If you read the Missouri Motor Manual to pass
your driver's test, you're supposed to. Okay.
They do it all over the place up there. I'd be
going up I -95 and someone honking at me. I'm
like, what? I'm in a rental. The light's not
working. It'd scare the hell out of you. Okay.
Neat. Okay. Yeah, so anyhow, go ahead, Rob. I
just wanted to state that because I really thought
it was excessive. Right, right. No, I understand
that. But no, I agree. In the Missouri Motor
Manual, I don't know if it still says it, but
for years it said that when you're passing somebody,
you were supposed to honk to let them know you're
next to them. Well, they go by the letter of
the law up there, then. I found it fucking annoying,
but okay. Okay, number six, turning left across
a double line, yellow line. Okay. You know, the
double yellow line in the middle? Yeah, yeah.
Uh -huh. Okay, in certain states, it's technically
illegal to make a left turn across a double yellow
line, even into your own driveway. While the
intent may be to regulate traffic flow, it creates
awkward and impractical restrictions for rural
and suburban drivers. This forces drivers to
go far out of the way for what should be a simple
turn. Yeah, so they have to come around and go
back the other way, right? That's what you're
saying? Right. Okay, go ahead. Wow. Ironically...
it may cause more confusion and frustration than
just allowing the turn. I agree. Okay, so it
doesn't have to say no turn on left. Just a double
yellow line in some states is a no -no. Yeah,
in the middle of the two lanes, if there's a
double yellow line, you are not allowed to turn
left. You're not allowed to cross those lines.
Okay. It's just like passing somebody on a double
yellow. You're not allowed to turn into a damn
driveway. That's fucked up. On the other side
of the road. Yeah, you got to go down and around
and come back. Wow. And that's a law. That's
a law in some states. Now, none of this tells
me what states. everybody look up your laws and
it's that big a deal. Okay, and finally, mandatory
headlight flashing bans. Okay. Some states have
laws that prohibit flashing your headlights to
warn other drivers about... the point of speed
enforcement to encourage safer driving. If flashing
headlights get someone to slow down, it's arguably
helping road safety. I agree. Yeah, I agree too.
Analyzing a warning system that promotes cautious
driving feels backward. It turns a friendly gesture
into a finable offense. say more about control
than actual safety outcomes. And I agree with
you. I totally disagree with this one because
you might come up on an accident and you get
by it. So you go off the road, there's cars coming.
I understand the hazard flashing. Yeah. But actually,
you could get pulled over and get a ticket for
that. Wow. They're doing their job because they
should have officers up the road tell people.
You know? You see it? No. Yeah, no, I get that,
and I agree with you, Rob. That does make sense.
And, yeah. Yeah, of course. I would agree, definitely.
And there's different ways to do it, too. I think
there's a way that you can do a headlight or
a blinker, a directional. You tap it two times
and it's not so obvious. But I don't think that's
as well known. It's kind of like a Morse code
thing. It came from a Morse code thing. I'll
look it up and I'll go and I'm pretty sure that
that was going around at least for a while there.
Because that's when the cops were like really,
you know, hammering down on people doing that.
So, but they still can't get CBs, you know. It's
free radio. I mean, Citizens Band, they can say
whatever they want on there. It's not against
the law to say, hey, there's a speed trap here
or there. But not a lot of people have CBs anymore,
so. Right. It's kind of almost going the way
of shortwave, where it's like you just don't
see them anymore. Yeah. That was a really good
article, Rob. Thank you. You're welcome. All
right. You want to wrap this bitch up? It's a
quarter to ten. Yeah, it's time to wrap it up,
brother. All right, brother. I think tonight
is going to be a great show, but we'll see, like
always. All right, Rob, have a fantastic evening.
Thank you for joining us, everybody, and Rob,
too. Good night, assholes. Good night, assholes.
Oh, no. Looks like the show's over, kids. Mark
has explosive diarrhea and can't afford a wireless
mic. Fear not, assholes. They'll be back invading
your ear holes soon.