WEBVTT

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The music creeps. The greatest podcast ever in

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the history of mankind. Just kidding. Your mama's

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so fat, she uses Google Earth to take a selfie.

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Yay, it's working. All right. Slow computer stuff.

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We're going. All right. Wait. Okay, all right.

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One of these days I'm going to hit my head. Well,

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I see you pick that up. I'm like, oh, he did

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figure out something. You know, one of these

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days you're going to run out of stuff. I am.

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So I'll just start hitting myself. Hey, I like

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a buzzer. Get like little noises on your phone.

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Oh, I like to do that, yeah. A little bass. The

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more annoying, the better. Yeah, yes. I got access

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to that, no problem. All right. See, put my readers

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on on you. All right, we are the Music Creeps,

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like we said. Yes, we is. So while we were not

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doing a Music Creeps, we got together and discussed

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about bands' names, if you mismatched their names,

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and what you came up with. And we have some interesting

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ones. You want to start off, Topher? Yeah. Oh,

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I remembered one that I forgot to write down.

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That's probably me. I like had them all typed

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up and then I got all this handwriting too. It's

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like, oh yeah. So anyway, the first one I've

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got is, it's my favorite. It's the one my wife

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came up with. Oh. Corn bread. I love that. Is

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it spelled with a K? Corn with a K. Corn bread.

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Corn bread. I love that. Oh. I can't stop laughing

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about that one. I would love to see, like, you

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know one of those tribute bands for corn? Come

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up with cornbread. Or corn -ee. Corn -pone. Oh,

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okay. Or like, I think in Nebraska there's a

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place called Corn Palace. Oh, that's in, yeah,

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South Dakota. Oh, South Dakota, yeah. Mitchell,

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South Dakota has the Corn Palace. Yeah, yeah,

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or they could call themselves Corn Palace, unless

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there's a copyright. Yeah, yeah, that's true.

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All right. Okay, my first one was Cheap Theater.

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I like that one. Yes, I do too. Because, of course,

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Dream Theater and Cheap Trick. Yeah, Cheap Trick

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would lend itself well to that. Yes, it would.

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I came up with Limp Floyd. That one is really

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good. Per Floyd. He gets exploited. He needs

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a little blue pill. Yes, he does. My next one

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is, how about guns and pilots? Now that's a combo

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you don't want to be flying with. No, no, no.

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You don't want them to open up for you. For a

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band name, that'd be awesome. You do not want

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them to open up for you. Or open up on you. Or

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open up, yeah. Both. Well, we had Limp Floyd,

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so let's go the other way and have Pink Biscuit.

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Imagine what the album cover is gonna look like

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if your band is called paint biscuit Yeah, okay

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Whatever it looks like it's gonna have a bunch

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of singles stuffed in it. Yeah You that's why

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I don't like touching $1 bills. No, I know what

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guys use them for. Yes Okay One of the things

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up in Canada, they call them peelers, and I used

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to go to Canada all the time until COVID interrupted

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it. I have relatives up there. You put the dollar

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bill in your mouth so the stripper will come

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over and take it, but not with her mouth. Take

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it out of your mouth. With her butt cheeks? Yes.

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Oh. Yes. So, all right. Moving right along there.

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My next one is living white snake. As opposed

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to a dead one. So living color and white snake?

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Yes. But, oh, the whole point of that last one

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was it's not that they take the dollar out of

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your mouth. The dollar's in your mouth. Yeah.

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That's the whole point. Yeah. And also you have

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an ass cheek in your face. Yeah, I guess if you're

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willing to have some stranger's ass cheeks in

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your face, then you probably don't care about

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putting a filthy dollar bill in your mouth anyway.

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Probably not. And also I want it known. I did

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not partake in this. I witnessed people partaking

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in this. Now that would be the fun part is to

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watch other people do it and go, eww. Too bad

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we didn't have video phones back then. I'd have

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a lot of material. I remember it was a band I

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was in in the 90s. I won't say because I don't

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want to get anyone in trouble. But there was

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a local nightclub. It was back when they had

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the topless. Juice bars. Yeah, yeah, I remember.

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Yeah, you'd get orange juice or soda. Yeah, the

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girls are naked or whatever. So the event was

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some chick who was currently big in porn was

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going to be there, and she was going to lay naked

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on this table, and her boyfriend was spreading

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ice cream all over her. And for $20, they'd give

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you one of those little tiny Baskin -Robbins

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spoons. And you can go up and scoop one little

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spoonful of ice cream off of her anywhere you

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want and eat it. And the singer of the band I

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was in at the time went and got in line three

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times. And he said just about everybody was scooping

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the ice cream off of her vagina. That would be,

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she's a porn star. Yeah. That would be the last

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place I would take. I wouldn't do it in the first

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place. But second. The wear and tear and the

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stuff that went in there, no way. He said he

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saw guys digging their spoon in there and they're

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just licking, licking, licking, licking all over

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him. Okay. You know, the husband's like, yeah,

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I know what you're digging in. Yeah. He said

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that guy was there just, you know, digging out

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the ice cream and slapping it down. Sure. Sure.

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You ever hear the term eat my fuck? Yeah, there

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you go. That was pretty close to it. Yes. Oh,

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nasty. Yeah, I don't know what else to say. Your

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next one. Okay. Deep Heap. Deep Purple and Uriah

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Heap. Uriah Heap. Which actually would be a pretty

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good combo. Let's get ready to say them. I'd

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love to hear that band together. Yeah, but Deep

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Heap. That's not going to sell too many. This

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next one might be my favorite of mine. i don't

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know but five finger tool that you can take a

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lot of different places wow i like that i do

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too well i i had that same band only i came up

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with stone temple death punch now that's mean

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you want me to give you The Stone Temple Death

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Punch. And then the WF crowd, WWE crowd goes

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crazy. He's getting ready to do the Stone Temple

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Death Punch. What? Oh, shit. Hang on, hang on.

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Hang on, I'm getting popcorn. I'll be right there.

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Freeze it. That's where you get. Well, I don't

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even know any Five Feet and the Death Punch songs,

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so I can't really make that up. They did a remake.

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That's about the only one I know. I don't even

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know that. Didn't they do a remake of Bad Company?

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Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So they come out like

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Bad Plush. Yeah. Or Creep Company. Creep Company.

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There we go. Yeah, that was on that video. It

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said, you know, 10 songs that you don't know

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are actually covers. Well, I knew all of them

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because I'm old. I was around when the originals

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came out. That's what I always thought, too.

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I'm like, you didn't know, and then I think about

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it and go. The same reason you tell people to

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Google what you're saying. Yeah. It's like, look,

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a lot of you people will not get it. Google it.

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You'll get it. So, all right. The next one I

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have is. Morbid Ministry. Don't ask what that

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ministry does. Yeah. But it's not good. Here's

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one that's fun. Foo Crew. Dave Grohl and Mick

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Mars. Foo Crew. Oh, that would be cool. That's

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another one I like. I introduced you to the song

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that Dave Grohl and Tony Iommi did, right? It's

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a good song, right? Goodbye Lament, very good

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song. It was overlooked because of the time that

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it came out. This would be one of those deals

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where the people that were like, oh yeah, they

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would like it and everyone else wouldn't even

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know about it. So the next one I got is Deep

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Cinderella. Don't ask her how she got the deep

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name. I'm not going to go there. I don't know.

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How about Elton and the Blowfish? No wonder Elton

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toured with him. Yeah. I did see an article yesterday

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about Elton John, and the headline tried to make

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it sound like he's on his deathbed. Oh, yeah,

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one of those clickbaits. Yeah, it said, Elton

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John admits he's nearing the end of his life

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and makes decisions about, well. you read the

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article and it's like, yeah, I know I'm old and

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I'm closer to the end of my life than the beginning

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and it's time to start doing some of these things.

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I've given up touring. So the whole thing is

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trying to make you think he's about to die. Yeah,

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when actually he's just old. What smart people

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do. Yeah, he's planning for his eventual death.

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Yeah. So now that he doesn't buy $30 ,000 worth

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of flowers anymore a day, he's financially okay.

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Yeah. The next one I got is, Lamb roses. Now,

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what are lamb roses? I don't know, but we have

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them right here. Yeah, so here, get your lamb

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roses here. Three for a buck. Three for a buck,

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lamb roses. How about pearl pumpkins? That's

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about the same thing. Eddie Vedder and Billy

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Corgan. Oh. You get Marble Mouth, Eddie Vedder

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singing in his Marble Mouth. I see Billy Corgan

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beating the shit out of him the second day. Pompous

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little bitch. He'd like throat punch him, throw

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him on the ground, and then turn his head around

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and curb stomp him. From all the things I've

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heard, Eddie Vedder is just kind of your average,

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typical guy, and he's not really all that nice

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a guy. But he maintains the image of the tortured

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poet with the social conscience on it. It's image.

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It's all image to sell. And most of those people

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are blowhards anyhow. But also, what else happened

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is, he got an oil check administered too. Yeah,

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Eddie better got an oil check administered after

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the throat punch, the curb stomp. Then he got

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his oil checked by Billy Corgan. What a day.

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Wow. Man, you look a little beat up there, Eddie.

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What happened? I don't want to talk about it.

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Why are you walking funny? You chafed. I don't

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want to talk about it. Okay, Eddie. Go take your

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shower. All right, next one. I already said this

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one to you personally. Black foreigner. That

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is so good. That is horrible. That's just such

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a wrong name. It is. You can see like a whole

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southern woman. Watch out for that black foreigner

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over there. That reminds me. When I worked at

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the Postal Service, whenever there would be icy

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conditions, they would say, you know, everybody

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watch out for black ice. And we had one carrier.

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I can see where that could go. He was Jamaican,

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and he didn't quite understand. He's like, why

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do they keep telling us to watch out for black

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guys? He's like. Why are you telling, what's

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wrong with black guys? No, black ice. I want

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someone to jump up and go, no, that's African

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American ice. I actually did that. The guy who

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was casing next to me, Hugh, he was also Jamaican,

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but he completely lost his accent. Oh, wow. And

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the bosses started talking about, everybody watch

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out for black ice. And I'd just lean over to

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Hugh and say, how come it's got to be black?

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And he'd go, yeah, why's it got to be black ice,

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man? Did he do that? He did. Top of his lungs.

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Same thing with Black Friday. I said, hey, Hugh,

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how come it's going to be black? Yeah, why is

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it going to be Black Friday? Because this is

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the day people stalk people to death. That's

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why. Anytime anybody in management said the word

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black, I would prompt Hugh and he'd stand up

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and yell. I love it. And then we'd both laugh

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our asses off. Yeah. It shows you how absurd

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some things are. I mean, you know, it's so. Well,

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watch out for black guys. I've never even thought

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about that. Someone who didn't understand the

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language that much would be like, what the fuck

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did we do? And he's like looking around at all

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the other black carriers like, how come you're

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not offended by this? You guys don't care. That

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poor guy. I'm glad you were there to explain

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it. And you know, it's not even black ice. It's

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clear. Yeah, it is. There's nothing black about

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it. It's on black top. That's why they call it

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that, and you can't see it. People use the term

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black to mean mysterious or unknown, and then

00:14:05.009 --> 00:14:06.970
everyone presumes that means, oh, it's colored

00:14:06.970 --> 00:14:10.610
black. No, you're not going to see it, but it

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should be called clear or transparent ice or

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something. Unnoticeable, undetectable ice until

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you're on it. Yeah, stealth ice. Stealth ice,

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yeah, there we go, that's it. Cliff Burton ice.

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No, it's not. No, that's still that taste. Next

00:14:29.019 --> 00:14:32.820
band I have is the Radiohead Chili Peppers. That

00:14:32.820 --> 00:14:40.419
is good. They could keep the same initials. R

00:14:40.419 --> 00:14:47.059
-H -C -P. Radiohead Chili Peppers. I would love

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for a band just to come out. Maybe just for one

00:14:49.139 --> 00:14:58.100
day with that name. Yeah. Who was it? The Radiohead

00:14:58.100 --> 00:15:04.539
Chili Peppers. All right. Next one. Lead cars.

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And that would suck. That would. Everyone's getting

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sick in their car. Oh, man. Gosh. Or like the

00:15:14.080 --> 00:15:16.559
old union rule, if you had what they call lead

00:15:16.559 --> 00:15:19.559
fever, and that's where, you know, it's in brass,

00:15:19.740 --> 00:15:21.559
you're working with brass, and you get to feeling

00:15:21.559 --> 00:15:24.100
sickly and like you have to puke and run down.

00:15:24.440 --> 00:15:26.539
That's lead fever is what they call it. They

00:15:26.539 --> 00:15:29.419
have to offer you a glass of milk. So, you know,

00:15:29.419 --> 00:15:31.240
someone gets in a lead car and they're like,

00:15:31.340 --> 00:15:33.200
oh my God, I don't feel so good. Hang on, hang

00:15:33.200 --> 00:15:34.960
on, let me get you your glass of milk. Yeah.

00:15:35.620 --> 00:15:38.120
I don't know what milk does. They probably have

00:15:38.120 --> 00:15:41.259
to use lead gasoline too. Oh, I guess so, yeah.

00:15:41.360 --> 00:15:46.720
That's right. All right. I've got puddle of cream.

00:15:47.080 --> 00:15:55.500
Oh! Oh, I love that. Oh, Wes Gantlin went to

00:15:55.500 --> 00:15:58.240
jail again for some sort of domestic violence.

00:15:58.600 --> 00:16:01.000
Yeah, that guy can't keep out of trouble. No,

00:16:01.019 --> 00:16:04.799
no, no. Puddle of Cream, that's about what they

00:16:04.799 --> 00:16:09.279
sound like, too. Yeah. Muddle of Pud is one of

00:16:09.279 --> 00:16:11.039
my favorites. I heard that, and I've never quit

00:16:11.039 --> 00:16:13.820
calling them that. There was a time in the 90s

00:16:13.820 --> 00:16:16.519
where Puddle of Mud was playing all over town,

00:16:16.639 --> 00:16:19.460
and for some reason, my band just seemed to follow

00:16:19.460 --> 00:16:22.480
them. It's like every week, people tell us, oh,

00:16:22.519 --> 00:16:24.259
yeah, Puddle of Mud was here last week. It's

00:16:24.259 --> 00:16:27.019
like, okay, somehow we got booked right after

00:16:27.019 --> 00:16:30.759
them for like four dates in a row. Oh. And that

00:16:30.759 --> 00:16:32.679
would suck because they're huge in Kansas City.

00:16:32.799 --> 00:16:35.059
I mean, they did have a good career, but actually

00:16:35.059 --> 00:16:37.639
it was only West Gatlin. Yeah. The record company

00:16:37.639 --> 00:16:39.960
made them get rid of everybody else. Yeah, they

00:16:39.960 --> 00:16:42.779
all went out to California and then... Only one

00:16:42.779 --> 00:16:44.460
stayed. Only one stayed. The rest of them came

00:16:44.460 --> 00:16:48.120
back. So that's the story, at least. They said

00:16:48.120 --> 00:16:50.980
it's the record company. Who knows what happened.

00:16:51.100 --> 00:16:57.799
So, all right. How about Lizzie Van Halen? I

00:16:57.799 --> 00:17:01.019
like that. See, Lizzie Borden come out in high

00:17:01.019 --> 00:17:03.100
kick. That's if you're doing Lizzie, or you could

00:17:03.100 --> 00:17:05.359
do Lizzie Hale, too, because she is a solo artist

00:17:05.359 --> 00:17:08.079
also. That's true. Or you could do Izzy Van Halen,

00:17:08.119 --> 00:17:10.859
and that's Izzy Stradlin coming out high kick

00:17:10.859 --> 00:17:14.660
and going, you might as well jump. Jump. Go ahead

00:17:14.660 --> 00:17:19.160
and jump. Oh, hey, who is that? Hey, how you

00:17:19.160 --> 00:17:24.619
been? Okay, go ahead. Excuse me. Let me just

00:17:24.619 --> 00:17:28.200
check that off. The last one I have. Four non

00:17:28.200 --> 00:17:33.299
-shares. Which everyone's pretty thankful for.

00:17:33.599 --> 00:17:36.720
Yeah. I've got a bunch more, so. Hit me. I went

00:17:36.720 --> 00:17:41.299
nuts on them. Next one I have is Ice Cream. That's

00:17:41.299 --> 00:17:44.339
good. Their logo could be like the Curly Q, the

00:17:44.339 --> 00:17:46.819
old Dairy Queen Curly Q. Remember when they used

00:17:46.819 --> 00:17:48.299
to do the ice cream cones and they'd have to

00:17:48.299 --> 00:17:50.099
do the Curly Q, otherwise they'd throw it away

00:17:50.099 --> 00:17:53.380
or give it to someone? Yeah. So, yeah, they could

00:17:53.380 --> 00:17:57.279
be the Curly Q. The next one would be Vanilla

00:17:57.279 --> 00:18:01.180
Cream. Oh, yeah. Vanilla Cream. Yeah. Boy, Cream

00:18:01.180 --> 00:18:04.000
is good. That lends itself really well. Yeah,

00:18:04.019 --> 00:18:07.440
it lends it. Yeah. The next one would be the

00:18:07.440 --> 00:18:10.319
very odd band that formed for Low Island and

00:18:10.319 --> 00:18:17.359
went nowhere, Ronnie James Priest. Wow, that

00:18:17.359 --> 00:18:20.079
would be bad. Yeah, you know, the thing is he

00:18:20.079 --> 00:18:22.920
fucked up on Holy Diver. The priest part of it

00:18:22.920 --> 00:18:25.299
really hated it. They're like, man, I don't know

00:18:25.299 --> 00:18:28.059
about that. You're throwing me in a lake with

00:18:28.059 --> 00:18:33.000
chains on. I don't know about that. It's a metaphor.

00:18:33.579 --> 00:18:36.799
I don't know. Get a lot of hostility, man. I

00:18:36.799 --> 00:18:38.599
don't like it. I don't care if it's a metaphor.

00:18:38.880 --> 00:18:41.950
I don't like it. What is a metaphor? Yeah, yeah.

00:18:42.029 --> 00:18:44.569
I don't know what a meta is for. I know what

00:18:44.569 --> 00:18:47.569
a meta is, and it kind of sucks. Yeah, isn't

00:18:47.569 --> 00:18:49.690
that Zuckerberg's thing? Yeah, four of them.

00:18:49.750 --> 00:18:51.930
I don't know. I don't like it. Get out of here.

00:18:52.009 --> 00:18:54.150
Get out of here. All right, the next one would

00:18:54.150 --> 00:19:00.150
be Black Fudge. That's good. Yeah, yeah, another

00:19:00.150 --> 00:19:03.710
one. The cool thing is with Black Sabbath, you

00:19:03.710 --> 00:19:06.269
can take it, or Black Flag, you can take that

00:19:06.269 --> 00:19:08.589
in a lot of different places. That's true. That's

00:19:08.589 --> 00:19:11.859
true. And the next one. And this is also the

00:19:11.859 --> 00:19:16.460
same deep purple you can use in deep fudge. You

00:19:16.460 --> 00:19:18.700
can take that however you want. I'm not going

00:19:18.700 --> 00:19:25.759
to. And after that, who doesn't love a good Boston

00:19:25.759 --> 00:19:29.880
cream? Oh, that's a good one. Oh, that's a perfect

00:19:29.880 --> 00:19:32.819
one. Oh, yeah. A big keg of deliciousness there.

00:19:34.299 --> 00:19:41.950
But let's not forget the Red Hot Elvis's. That's

00:19:41.950 --> 00:19:49.589
pretty good. Chili pepper. Elvis with a funk

00:19:49.589 --> 00:19:53.970
beat. That would be odd. See Flea over there

00:19:53.970 --> 00:20:03.269
in his fucking whitey tights. Now there is Dread

00:20:03.269 --> 00:20:05.619
Zeppelin. You heard of them? Yes, yes, yes. I

00:20:05.619 --> 00:20:07.519
love them, actually. They do Led Zeppelin songs

00:20:07.519 --> 00:20:10.200
in a reggae style, and their singer is an Elvis

00:20:10.200 --> 00:20:13.359
impersonator. I know. I don't think they're around

00:20:13.359 --> 00:20:15.420
anymore, but they were really, really unique.

00:20:15.579 --> 00:20:17.140
That was something else. I mean, is there one

00:20:17.140 --> 00:20:20.500
band that people go, oh, Gwar or them? Gwar,

00:20:20.519 --> 00:20:23.279
yeah. Yeah, Gwar. Or Green Jello. Yeah, they're

00:20:23.279 --> 00:20:25.400
still around. Green Jello, yeah. They have to

00:20:25.400 --> 00:20:27.240
call themselves Green Jelly because the people

00:20:27.240 --> 00:20:29.759
who own the brand named Jello got pissy about

00:20:29.759 --> 00:20:34.799
it. No, it's called Jelly. So if you have one

00:20:34.799 --> 00:20:37.539
of the old albums, it's worth $2 instead of $0

00:20:37.539 --> 00:20:39.599
.50. What they should have done is misspelled

00:20:39.599 --> 00:20:42.240
the word jello. Yeah. That way it wouldn't have

00:20:42.240 --> 00:20:44.660
been a trademark. Yeah, like Disney does with

00:20:44.660 --> 00:20:50.380
the flags. Yes. All right. The next one, you

00:20:50.380 --> 00:20:58.900
be rancid. That right there, you could use in

00:20:58.900 --> 00:21:02.079
a lot of different forms to really disturb people.

00:21:02.700 --> 00:21:08.079
Do you know what a UB40 is? No. Contraceptive,

00:21:08.079 --> 00:21:11.599
isn't it? No, it's a form you fill out for unemployment

00:21:11.599 --> 00:21:15.240
benefits. Oh, okay, I didn't know that. There's

00:21:15.240 --> 00:21:17.640
a song by the Bengals going down to Liverpool.

00:21:18.039 --> 00:21:20.299
It's like, hey, where are you going with that

00:21:20.299 --> 00:21:23.880
UB40 in your hand? Oh, okay. I'm going down to

00:21:23.880 --> 00:21:26.380
Liverpool and do nothing. Because he's going

00:21:26.380 --> 00:21:34.480
on welfare. Or as Geezer Butler put it in his

00:21:34.480 --> 00:21:36.559
book, because he's a musician, he used to have

00:21:36.559 --> 00:21:41.259
to go on the dole. Yeah. All right, next one.

00:21:41.259 --> 00:21:44.559
That's not Bob Dole. No, no. Bob Dole is the

00:21:44.559 --> 00:21:47.039
ones that they put on the bananas. Yes. Yeah.

00:21:47.380 --> 00:21:50.160
He owns all the banana, or he owned all the banana

00:21:50.160 --> 00:21:52.440
plantations in the world. And pineapple. And

00:21:52.440 --> 00:21:55.240
pineapple, too. But no upside -down ones. No.

00:21:55.390 --> 00:22:01.269
Not that guy. No. All right. Next one. Rolling

00:22:01.269 --> 00:22:05.750
Alice. Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Kick the shit out

00:22:05.750 --> 00:22:09.069
of her. I don't know. I mean, rolling her, taking

00:22:09.069 --> 00:22:10.890
her wallet. I mean, why would you want to do

00:22:10.890 --> 00:22:14.549
that? I mean, what the hell? What did Alice do

00:22:14.549 --> 00:22:17.009
to you? I guess she's drunk. You know, you roll

00:22:17.009 --> 00:22:20.609
the drunk. Yeah, that's true. There we go. All

00:22:20.609 --> 00:22:23.029
right. The next one would be the dead pumpkins.

00:22:24.670 --> 00:22:27.509
Oh, I like that one. And that would be Halloween,

00:22:27.849 --> 00:22:29.130
right? Oh, perfect Halloween, yeah. Look at all

00:22:29.130 --> 00:22:33.849
those dead pumpkins everywhere. So, and then

00:22:33.849 --> 00:22:37.309
I have two more. Next one would be counting beetles.

00:22:38.410 --> 00:22:43.289
I count two. I only count two now. That is good.

00:22:43.609 --> 00:22:47.670
Because it's spelled B -E -A, not B -E -E. So,

00:22:47.670 --> 00:22:50.069
therefore, I count two of them. What about you?

00:22:50.950 --> 00:22:58.160
I saw one, and it was a dung beetle. Okay. He's

00:22:58.160 --> 00:23:00.259
rolling his little ball of poop. Yeah, I mean,

00:23:00.259 --> 00:23:02.460
the Egyptians, you know, that's where they got

00:23:02.460 --> 00:23:06.920
reincarnation from. Yep. I almost said carnation

00:23:06.920 --> 00:23:11.200
milk. Carnation milk, yeah. Do you know how dung

00:23:11.200 --> 00:23:14.779
beetles navigate? Uh -uh. Because they use their

00:23:14.779 --> 00:23:17.059
hind legs to roll the ball of poop. Uh -huh.

00:23:17.059 --> 00:23:19.519
So they're going backwards the whole time. It's

00:23:19.519 --> 00:23:21.759
dark enough where they live that they look up

00:23:21.759 --> 00:23:24.700
at the Milky Way. and they see the spine of the

00:23:24.700 --> 00:23:26.779
Milky Way overhead, and they navigate by that.

00:23:27.099 --> 00:23:29.039
Really? Yep. They look at the stars. And then

00:23:29.039 --> 00:23:31.339
they roll themselves in shit and hibernate for

00:23:31.339 --> 00:23:32.700
a little while, and then come out. They roll

00:23:32.700 --> 00:23:35.880
that ball of poop back to their nest and feed

00:23:35.880 --> 00:23:40.200
their babies with it. They navigate by the galaxy.

00:23:40.559 --> 00:23:43.160
Yes. Wow. Who would have thought something that

00:23:43.160 --> 00:23:47.200
simple? They realize that on cloudy nights, dung

00:23:47.200 --> 00:23:50.519
beetles lose their way. Wow. Oh, I have an interesting

00:23:50.519 --> 00:23:52.220
thing to tell you about the galaxy after you

00:23:52.220 --> 00:23:55.380
give me your last one. And then finally, run

00:23:55.380 --> 00:23:59.480
you too. I don't know what they're running from,

00:23:59.539 --> 00:24:02.980
but they're kind of afraid of it. Probably running

00:24:02.980 --> 00:24:05.519
from Bono because he's a giant turd. That's it.

00:24:06.599 --> 00:24:08.500
He's going to preach to them. Everybody get out

00:24:08.500 --> 00:24:11.039
of here. Bono's going to preach to us. Oh, shit.

00:24:11.039 --> 00:24:13.460
Let's go. He's going to stand up and get indignant

00:24:13.460 --> 00:24:15.480
and tell us how we're doing it all wrong. Yep.

00:24:15.759 --> 00:24:20.650
Yep. You filthy. Pedestrians, I don't know. Filthy,

00:24:20.650 --> 00:24:22.990
horrible, peasant, heathen Americans, and you're

00:24:22.990 --> 00:24:25.089
all awful and evil, and you'd be giving all your

00:24:25.089 --> 00:24:27.950
money to help the world, except Bono keeps all

00:24:27.950 --> 00:24:30.690
of his money. Yes, and he flies and jet airplanes

00:24:30.690 --> 00:24:32.950
everywhere. So he's the kind of guy who tells

00:24:32.950 --> 00:24:35.789
everyone else what to do to be ethical and nice,

00:24:35.869 --> 00:24:37.390
but he doesn't do it himself. He's one of these

00:24:37.390 --> 00:24:39.390
people that I've always said, if you hate America

00:24:39.390 --> 00:24:42.769
so much, give up your fortune and pay off the

00:24:42.769 --> 00:24:45.740
national debt. Do something about it. Yeah, quit

00:24:45.740 --> 00:24:47.920
coming over here and touring and taking our money

00:24:47.920 --> 00:24:50.039
if you hate us so much. Yeah, if you love America

00:24:50.039 --> 00:24:54.519
enough to hate us, then you do that. So until

00:24:54.519 --> 00:24:57.140
then, shut the fuck up. Yeah, he just realized

00:24:57.140 --> 00:24:59.859
he could get a lot of mileage out of pretending

00:24:59.859 --> 00:25:02.619
to be concerned about the things he thought the

00:25:02.619 --> 00:25:04.700
audience was probably concerned about, so he

00:25:04.700 --> 00:25:06.579
pandered to whatever they wanted to hear. Yeah,

00:25:06.579 --> 00:25:09.059
and they ate it up like baby birds. And he cashed

00:25:09.059 --> 00:25:10.880
the checks, and he probably doesn't believe in

00:25:10.880 --> 00:25:14.940
anything. I bet. From my experience, all the

00:25:14.940 --> 00:25:17.259
blowhards like that, that's what they are. It's

00:25:17.259 --> 00:25:21.079
kind of like a politician. Whatever's hot, they're

00:25:21.079 --> 00:25:22.819
going to navigate to. Like if it's an abortion

00:25:22.819 --> 00:25:25.319
issue, they're going to navigate to that. If

00:25:25.319 --> 00:25:27.339
it's like, I don't know, the deportation issue

00:25:27.339 --> 00:25:30.799
now, they all are navigating to that. Oh, the

00:25:30.799 --> 00:25:34.859
trade. the trade wars going on, you know, the

00:25:34.859 --> 00:25:37.119
tariffs. They're all navigating that. God put

00:25:37.119 --> 00:25:39.700
in their two cents to make everyone polarized.

00:25:39.700 --> 00:25:41.599
Kind of makes you wonder what they're distracting

00:25:41.599 --> 00:25:44.420
us from. Yeah. What is going on that they're

00:25:44.420 --> 00:25:46.980
shoving this in our face so we won't look elsewhere?

00:25:47.119 --> 00:25:49.240
My experience is that's the only reason they

00:25:49.240 --> 00:25:51.380
create a distraction is because they're getting

00:25:51.380 --> 00:25:53.119
ready to pass something that's going to fuck

00:25:53.119 --> 00:25:55.500
us. And they don't want any opposition at all.

00:25:55.559 --> 00:25:57.880
So the media is like, hey, we have something

00:25:57.880 --> 00:26:00.740
for you to do while we do this. Oh, okay, sure.

00:26:01.279 --> 00:26:05.799
Any decent magician worth his paycheck will figure

00:26:05.799 --> 00:26:08.079
out a way to distract you so you won't see him

00:26:08.079 --> 00:26:10.359
doing the trick. Oh, yeah. All the time it's

00:26:10.359 --> 00:26:12.200
like whether they fumble with something or they

00:26:12.200 --> 00:26:15.380
explain something and they go, yeah, the reason

00:26:15.380 --> 00:26:17.460
I'm doing this is because I've got this weird

00:26:17.460 --> 00:26:20.119
tick. But really they're doing something while

00:26:20.119 --> 00:26:21.680
they're telling you that and everyone's looking

00:26:21.680 --> 00:26:23.440
at their hand talking about their weird tick,

00:26:23.579 --> 00:26:25.660
which they don't have but they're pretending

00:26:25.660 --> 00:26:30.160
to have. Just like Joe Cocker. Yes. Google it.

00:26:30.670 --> 00:26:34.829
Hello. You were saying something. Oh, yeah. I'm

00:26:34.829 --> 00:26:37.849
getting ready to go to something. The closest

00:26:37.849 --> 00:26:43.890
galaxy to ours is the Andromeda Galaxy. And for

00:26:43.890 --> 00:26:47.109
pretty much my lifetime, I've been told it's

00:26:47.109 --> 00:26:52.349
this many light years away, but we're on a collision

00:26:52.349 --> 00:26:54.789
course, and eventually the two galaxies will

00:26:54.789 --> 00:26:59.809
collide. It's already happening. It has already

00:26:59.809 --> 00:27:03.240
started. There are stars from the Andromeda Galaxy

00:27:03.240 --> 00:27:06.500
that are already in the Milky Way and vice versa.

00:27:06.660 --> 00:27:10.779
So the galaxies are already touching. Wow. So

00:27:10.779 --> 00:27:14.339
the collision and the merging has begun. Now,

00:27:14.420 --> 00:27:17.000
bad news for the Milky Way, the Andromeda Galaxy

00:27:17.000 --> 00:27:19.599
is about a thousand times bigger than us. Oh,

00:27:19.619 --> 00:27:21.680
my God. So we're going to get sucked up and absorbed.

00:27:21.799 --> 00:27:23.559
Hang on, hang on. Have you ever seen the movie

00:27:23.559 --> 00:27:26.880
300? Yes. Okay, it's an actual story. For real.

00:27:27.400 --> 00:27:29.640
Okay. That's true. You never know. We could nut

00:27:29.640 --> 00:27:32.200
up and beat them. That's possible. We could trick

00:27:32.200 --> 00:27:35.759
them. Now, I have seen simulations of how it's

00:27:35.759 --> 00:27:39.220
going to happen when the two galaxies fully collide.

00:27:40.759 --> 00:27:43.019
No stars are going to hit each other. They're

00:27:43.019 --> 00:27:45.880
just too far apart. Okay. It's like... Just going

00:27:45.880 --> 00:27:48.200
to be planets? Yeah. It's like one guy running

00:27:48.200 --> 00:27:50.839
across the football field at the 40 -yard line

00:27:50.839 --> 00:27:52.740
and the other person running across the field

00:27:52.740 --> 00:27:55.599
at the 50 -yard line. They're not going to touch.

00:27:55.720 --> 00:27:58.359
There's just too much space. However, gravity

00:27:58.359 --> 00:28:00.380
is going to have an effect. Oh, that's going

00:28:00.380 --> 00:28:03.460
to be cool. Here's the deal. What's so cool is

00:28:03.460 --> 00:28:05.779
we're not going to be here because we already

00:28:05.779 --> 00:28:07.819
destroyed ourselves. Yeah, this is going to be

00:28:07.819 --> 00:28:09.680
millions and millions of years in the making.

00:28:09.839 --> 00:28:11.740
It's going to take millions of years for the

00:28:11.740 --> 00:28:14.420
two galaxies to collide and settle down. Yeah,

00:28:14.519 --> 00:28:16.119
we're going to be nowhere to be found because

00:28:16.119 --> 00:28:19.960
we're too stupid to survive long term. That is

00:28:19.960 --> 00:28:22.240
pretty cool, though. In the simulation, it looked

00:28:22.240 --> 00:28:25.579
like the... World's biggest giant splash. When

00:28:25.579 --> 00:28:27.819
the two galaxies collide, the stars go flying

00:28:27.819 --> 00:28:31.859
everywhere. And about 10 to 12 % of the stars

00:28:31.859 --> 00:28:34.279
are going to get thrown completely out and just

00:28:34.279 --> 00:28:37.380
won't be part of any galaxy anymore. Wow. They're

00:28:37.380 --> 00:28:40.180
just sailing along through space all by themselves.

00:28:40.539 --> 00:28:43.660
They get thrown out of the club. Yep. You, out.

00:28:43.920 --> 00:28:47.930
Yep. I just ordered it. No, out. So our solar

00:28:47.930 --> 00:28:50.750
system might wind up getting thrown out of the

00:28:50.750 --> 00:28:53.650
new galaxy just by the gravitational forces,

00:28:53.789 --> 00:28:56.930
and we go flying off in a random direction at

00:28:56.930 --> 00:29:00.029
a very, very high rate of speed. You won't be

00:29:00.029 --> 00:29:03.170
needing this anymore. Now, all the planets will

00:29:03.170 --> 00:29:07.869
get dragged along with it. Yeah. And every single

00:29:07.869 --> 00:29:10.890
constellation you know is going to change. They

00:29:10.890 --> 00:29:14.329
will all change. So what is astrology going to

00:29:14.329 --> 00:29:16.980
do then? Well, it won't be around because no

00:29:16.980 --> 00:29:20.079
one's going to be observing it. But I thought

00:29:20.079 --> 00:29:21.819
that was interesting is the Andromeda Galaxy

00:29:21.819 --> 00:29:25.200
and the Milky Way Galaxy are already colliding.

00:29:25.400 --> 00:29:28.680
Wow. That is interesting because I've always

00:29:28.680 --> 00:29:30.660
heard that too, but I thought it was forever

00:29:30.660 --> 00:29:34.099
and ever, not right now. I did too, but technology

00:29:34.099 --> 00:29:37.140
for detecting these stars at the edges of the

00:29:37.140 --> 00:29:39.380
galaxy has gotten a lot better, and we realize

00:29:39.380 --> 00:29:41.759
the galaxy sticks out a lot farther than they

00:29:41.759 --> 00:29:44.460
thought. So, yeah, they're touching. They're

00:29:44.460 --> 00:29:47.339
past. Some dumbass. We're already merging. He

00:29:47.339 --> 00:29:50.119
put it in reverse. Now he's going forward. He

00:29:50.119 --> 00:29:52.619
did this two times. Can't figure out where to

00:29:52.619 --> 00:29:54.839
park? I don't know. I couldn't figure out what

00:29:54.839 --> 00:29:57.559
he was doing. Sorry. A little distracting. What

00:29:57.559 --> 00:30:01.720
a dumbass. What a weirdo. You know, Richie Blackmore,

00:30:01.779 --> 00:30:04.319
he suffered a heart attack. I heard that. Yeah.

00:30:04.380 --> 00:30:06.859
They just came out with the news. It was about

00:30:06.859 --> 00:30:10.339
a year and a half ago. He's got six stints, his

00:30:10.339 --> 00:30:13.049
wife said. Candice Knight, who's been married

00:30:13.049 --> 00:30:15.430
to Richie Blackmore for 17 years, but has been

00:30:15.430 --> 00:30:17.970
together with the legendary Deep Purple and Rainbow

00:30:17.970 --> 00:30:21.869
guitarist for 36, spoke to Don Osborne at Total

00:30:21.869 --> 00:30:24.230
Rock about the possibility of Richie returning

00:30:24.230 --> 00:30:27.549
to Europe in the not -too -distant future for

00:30:27.549 --> 00:30:29.490
live shows with their long -running project,

00:30:29.690 --> 00:30:33.670
Blackmore's Night. He says, as transcribed by

00:30:33.670 --> 00:30:36.089
Blabbermouth .net, as far as flying anywhere

00:30:36.089 --> 00:30:38.509
right now, Richie has actually been told by his

00:30:38.509 --> 00:30:41.490
cardiologist not to get in a plane. He's had

00:30:41.490 --> 00:30:44.069
a heart attack about a year and a half ago. He's

00:30:44.069 --> 00:30:46.029
got six stents, and I can't believe he's going

00:30:46.029 --> 00:30:49.309
to be 80 on April 14th, which is crazy because

00:30:49.309 --> 00:30:52.009
he doesn't look it, he still doesn't act it,

00:30:52.029 --> 00:30:54.390
but eventually medical things will wind up catching

00:30:54.390 --> 00:30:58.029
up with you. That's true. That's true. So we've

00:30:58.029 --> 00:31:00.410
got to keep him happy and healthy, but as of

00:31:00.410 --> 00:31:02.890
right now, he lives up in the Northeast, and

00:31:02.890 --> 00:31:05.670
that is where they live, and that's how come

00:31:05.670 --> 00:31:07.910
every now and then Blackmore's Night, his group

00:31:07.910 --> 00:31:13.519
now, who does Celtic music, They perform up there

00:31:13.519 --> 00:31:16.640
a couple of times a year maybe. And I was always

00:31:16.640 --> 00:31:18.440
wondering how come he always goes to New Jersey.

00:31:18.519 --> 00:31:21.039
Well, this has been in the last year and a half

00:31:21.039 --> 00:31:25.359
since he's toured a little bit since COVID. He

00:31:25.359 --> 00:31:28.599
was just recently at his cardiologist. She said

00:31:28.599 --> 00:31:31.500
that puts traveling by plane on hold. So hopefully

00:31:31.500 --> 00:31:33.759
we'll get all that straightened out and it'll

00:31:33.759 --> 00:31:36.759
change. But I'll let you guys know if it does.

00:31:37.669 --> 00:31:41.430
That's another clickbait I saw yesterday. I already

00:31:41.430 --> 00:31:45.910
knew Blackmore had a heart attack. But one story

00:31:45.910 --> 00:31:48.910
yesterday was doing everything possible to make

00:31:48.910 --> 00:31:53.089
it seem like it was happening right now. Some

00:31:53.089 --> 00:31:57.069
big gushy headline showing Blackmore with a pained

00:31:57.069 --> 00:31:59.970
expression on his face. Richie Blackmore suffers

00:31:59.970 --> 00:32:03.269
a major massive heart attack. Everyone concerned.

00:32:03.329 --> 00:32:06.759
I clicked on a different one though. So then

00:32:06.759 --> 00:32:08.759
you click on it, and it's like, oh, well, this

00:32:08.759 --> 00:32:10.859
was a long time ago, and it was the same one

00:32:10.859 --> 00:32:14.539
I'd already heard about. Yeah. Yeah. So you've

00:32:14.539 --> 00:32:18.039
got to be careful, because whatever you click

00:32:18.039 --> 00:32:21.099
on, the AI is going to find more things just

00:32:21.099 --> 00:32:23.160
like that for you, and most of them aren't going

00:32:23.160 --> 00:32:26.019
to be true. Yeah, it'll duplicate bullshit. It'll

00:32:26.019 --> 00:32:28.019
just come up with something. Man, I've got to

00:32:28.019 --> 00:32:31.160
piss again. So the former Motley Crue and current

00:32:31.160 --> 00:32:34.839
Dead Daisies frontman, John Karabi. who released

00:32:34.839 --> 00:32:37.279
two standalone singles in the last four years.

00:32:38.859 --> 00:32:45.180
He came out with 2021, Casa Bella, and then 2022,

00:32:45.740 --> 00:32:47.700
Your Own Morstanomy, which is a pretty good song,

00:32:47.779 --> 00:32:50.140
I've heard that one. Okay, he confirmed plans

00:32:50.140 --> 00:32:52.940
to put out more solo music in the not -too -distant

00:32:52.940 --> 00:32:56.220
future. I just signed another deal to do another

00:32:56.220 --> 00:32:58.480
solo record, and he told, okay, it's one, I thought

00:32:58.480 --> 00:33:01.160
it was two. He told The Rock Pit in a new interview,

00:33:01.259 --> 00:33:03.559
and so my manager and I were talking about it.

00:33:03.869 --> 00:33:06.130
And we were reminiscing and recapping. And it's

00:33:06.130 --> 00:33:08.569
funny. We were kind of going through this list

00:33:08.569 --> 00:33:11.910
on how many records I've done. I was just sitting

00:33:11.910 --> 00:33:13.890
there going, fuck, I was looking at the records.

00:33:13.950 --> 00:33:18.849
I just did with the Dead Daisies since 15. And

00:33:18.849 --> 00:33:22.049
he's done four or five of them with him. And

00:33:22.049 --> 00:33:24.269
then he had seven records before. So altogether,

00:33:24.609 --> 00:33:28.230
he's done 20 records. And he said it didn't seem

00:33:28.230 --> 00:33:29.869
like it. He thought he'd done like seven or eight

00:33:29.869 --> 00:33:32.069
records. Yeah. How many records has Motley Crue

00:33:32.069 --> 00:33:36.329
done? oh okay we're talking about like real music

00:33:36.329 --> 00:33:42.930
like real uh -huh let's see okay um okay motley

00:33:42.930 --> 00:33:46.529
crue too fast for love shout at the devil theater

00:33:46.529 --> 00:33:49.910
of pain the theater of pain girls girls girls

00:33:49.910 --> 00:33:55.589
doctor feel good doctor feel good um i forgot

00:33:55.589 --> 00:34:00.529
the name of the next one um okay and then there

00:34:00.529 --> 00:34:04.309
was uh saints of los angeles Hang on, I'll figure

00:34:04.309 --> 00:34:06.230
this out. I'm just trying to figure out, did

00:34:06.230 --> 00:34:08.690
Karabi have more albums than they do now? Oh,

00:34:08.690 --> 00:34:10.690
I'm sure. Yeah, because I don't think Cruise

00:34:10.690 --> 00:34:13.829
put out 20 albums. No, and I can tell you by

00:34:13.829 --> 00:34:16.010
reading them how many it has changed. Discography.

00:34:16.949 --> 00:34:19.469
Wow, there was something major cruising by just

00:34:19.469 --> 00:34:30.230
then. Mötley Crüe discography. Okay, so... I'm

00:34:30.230 --> 00:34:32.829
going to guess they have 13. You're probably

00:34:32.829 --> 00:34:35.150
right, but it's not all. I'm going by new material

00:34:35.150 --> 00:34:36.889
because that's what we got. Yeah, no greatest

00:34:36.889 --> 00:34:39.909
hits, no live. Okay, studio albums, they have

00:34:39.909 --> 00:34:44.010
nine. EPs, they have three. Live albums, three.

00:34:44.090 --> 00:34:46.829
Compilation, eight. Singles, 31. Video albums,

00:34:46.969 --> 00:34:51.909
nine. Music videos, 32. Yeah. Okay, here's the

00:34:51.909 --> 00:34:55.309
studio albums. Too Fast for Love, Shout at the

00:34:55.309 --> 00:34:57.369
Devil, Theater of Pain, Girls, Girls, Girls,

00:34:57.650 --> 00:35:03.119
Dr. Feelgood. Motley Crue. Oh, it's a re -release.

00:35:05.539 --> 00:35:07.780
Generation Swine. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Motley

00:35:07.780 --> 00:35:09.940
Crue. It's the Karabi one. Yeah, the Karabi one.

00:35:10.380 --> 00:35:14.280
Generation Swine. Their worst one. Yes. New Tattoo

00:35:14.280 --> 00:35:15.539
was the one I couldn't think of. New Tattoo,

00:35:15.539 --> 00:35:19.539
yeah. Saints of Los Angeles was their last studio

00:35:19.539 --> 00:35:22.519
album. And that was, jeez, 15 years ago maybe?

00:35:22.559 --> 00:35:30.389
Yeah. That was 2008. So. So let's see just the

00:35:30.389 --> 00:35:34.010
studio new material here. It's one, two, three,

00:35:34.130 --> 00:35:41.389
four, five, six, seven, eight, nine. Nine actual

00:35:41.389 --> 00:35:44.329
new material. So if you look at new material,

00:35:44.429 --> 00:35:48.690
Karabi has done over twice the amount. Yeah.

00:35:49.940 --> 00:35:52.460
I'm thinking at last count, Alice Cooper put

00:35:52.460 --> 00:35:56.139
out 27 studio albums. Oh, I can believe that.

00:35:56.199 --> 00:35:59.039
He's got a lot. He put out one last year called

00:35:59.039 --> 00:36:02.460
Road, and he's working on another one right now.

00:36:03.119 --> 00:36:07.280
Okay. He's 77 years old, and he's still putting

00:36:07.280 --> 00:36:10.920
out new material and touring with it. Wow. Here

00:36:10.920 --> 00:36:14.219
comes that giant piece of shit again. Yep. Wow,

00:36:14.320 --> 00:36:16.280
that's got to be hearing damage for the guy playing

00:36:16.280 --> 00:36:19.139
it. God, I would think so. Just the guy pulling

00:36:19.139 --> 00:36:21.199
it's got to be deaf after half an hour. Oh, shit,

00:36:21.320 --> 00:36:26.639
yeah. Loud. Yeah. That's what you get when you

00:36:26.639 --> 00:36:28.880
go out into a live location in public and do

00:36:28.880 --> 00:36:30.159
your podcast. That's right. I know. I was going

00:36:30.159 --> 00:36:32.800
to say, you wouldn't have it any other way. Oh,

00:36:32.840 --> 00:36:36.400
the benefits far outweigh the noise. Yeah. So,

00:36:36.539 --> 00:36:38.940
anyhow, and you talk about quality material.

00:36:40.159 --> 00:36:43.699
I would say probably six of those albums are

00:36:43.699 --> 00:36:46.400
quality, six or seven, and the rest are garbage.

00:36:47.049 --> 00:36:49.550
Yeah. I mean, because New Tattoo was garbage.

00:36:49.989 --> 00:36:53.630
Saints of Los Angeles was okay. Generation Swine

00:36:53.630 --> 00:36:59.570
was crap. Yeah. Really, anything after Karabi

00:36:59.570 --> 00:37:03.550
was garbage. Yeah. Yeah, pretty much. Yeah. So,

00:37:03.610 --> 00:37:08.230
you know, let's face it. If it wasn't for the

00:37:08.230 --> 00:37:10.050
record company, they would have stuck with Karabi

00:37:10.050 --> 00:37:13.489
because they loved him, just loved him. I think

00:37:13.489 --> 00:37:15.869
he was a really good songwriter, too. Yeah, he

00:37:15.869 --> 00:37:18.550
was. Yeah, and he fit really good with the band

00:37:18.550 --> 00:37:24.449
because his guitar accompanying Mick Mars was

00:37:24.449 --> 00:37:27.170
a really good sound. Yeah, they'd never had a

00:37:27.170 --> 00:37:28.929
rhythm guitarist in the band before, had they?

00:37:29.070 --> 00:37:32.010
No, uh -uh. And I'm not so sure that Mick didn't

00:37:32.010 --> 00:37:34.489
get a lot of rhythm on that either. I mean, because

00:37:34.489 --> 00:37:36.869
he is, basically. He is a really good rhythm.

00:37:38.349 --> 00:37:45.039
Okay. The fish story from Led Zeppelin. Oh. We've

00:37:45.039 --> 00:37:49.519
all heard about that. Yep. Okay. This is what

00:37:49.519 --> 00:37:51.320
I got here. Yes, the fish story involving Led

00:37:51.320 --> 00:37:53.320
Zeppelin, a mud shark, and a groupie is well

00:37:53.320 --> 00:37:58.059
known. Although controversial tale. And it's

00:37:58.059 --> 00:38:00.639
generally accepted that it happened, though the

00:38:00.639 --> 00:38:03.340
details vary. Yeah. Here's a breakdown of the

00:38:03.340 --> 00:38:07.199
story. The incident. In 1969, during a tour with

00:38:07.199 --> 00:38:09.639
Vanilla Fudge, Led Zeppelin and Vanilla Fudge

00:38:09.639 --> 00:38:15.039
roads managers, Cole. Richard Cole from Led Zeppelin

00:38:15.039 --> 00:38:17.699
and Bruce Wayne, I'm not kidding you, from the

00:38:17.699 --> 00:38:21.320
Hell of Fudge, caught mud sharks and red snappers

00:38:21.320 --> 00:38:23.400
while fishing from the waterfront room at the

00:38:23.400 --> 00:38:26.119
Edgewater Inn Hotel in Seattle, which is actually

00:38:26.119 --> 00:38:29.500
on the ocean. The Beatles were staying there

00:38:29.500 --> 00:38:31.880
because the groupies could get to them and they

00:38:31.880 --> 00:38:37.679
all took boats. The groupie, a 17 -year -old

00:38:37.679 --> 00:38:40.079
groupie named Jackie, was present in John Paul

00:38:40.079 --> 00:38:43.420
Jones' room. where the fish were brought, along

00:38:43.420 --> 00:38:47.360
with Carmine Apice, you don't go by Apice, Vanilla

00:38:47.360 --> 00:38:50.079
Fudge Drummer, and others. The allegents then,

00:38:50.099 --> 00:38:52.619
according to the New York Post, the groupie was

00:38:52.619 --> 00:38:55.360
allegedly molested with a fish, though details

00:38:55.360 --> 00:38:58.099
are controversial and the story has evolved over

00:38:58.099 --> 00:39:01.719
time. The variations in the story are this. Some

00:39:01.719 --> 00:39:03.820
accounts suggest that only Vanilla Fudge members

00:39:03.820 --> 00:39:06.559
were involved, while others claim that John Bonham,

00:39:06.659 --> 00:39:09.760
who ends up with Drummer, was also present, though

00:39:09.760 --> 00:39:12.489
his involvement... is questionable the aftermath

00:39:12.489 --> 00:39:15.570
the band was banned from the edgewater hotel

00:39:15.570 --> 00:39:18.670
after the incident the hotel was destroyed by

00:39:18.670 --> 00:39:21.590
the band it's still there though yeah they rebuilt

00:39:21.590 --> 00:39:25.809
it the aftermath uh the band was uh the band

00:39:25.809 --> 00:39:30.320
was banned from ed watch Ed's Water Hotel, Carmine

00:39:30.320 --> 00:39:34.019
Apice's account, or Apice, Carmine Apice, drummer

00:39:34.019 --> 00:39:36.460
for Vanilla Fudge, has written about the incident

00:39:36.460 --> 00:39:38.619
in his book, and he claims that the girl in question

00:39:38.619 --> 00:39:40.960
was a groupie who had tagged along with him.

00:39:41.719 --> 00:39:45.340
Mark Stein's role, the keyboardist for Vanilla

00:39:45.340 --> 00:39:47.780
Fudge, claimed to have filmed the encounter,

00:39:47.960 --> 00:39:50.800
but he said the film has said it had been lost

00:39:50.800 --> 00:39:53.480
or destroyed. I bet. It was probably incriminating

00:39:53.480 --> 00:39:59.039
as hell. I bet. Redemptive postscript. A piece

00:39:59.039 --> 00:40:03.420
has stated that he later heard from the woman

00:40:03.420 --> 00:40:05.840
who claimed to have moved to Alaska, raised a

00:40:05.840 --> 00:40:07.900
family, and lived happily ever after, which sounds

00:40:07.900 --> 00:40:10.820
like a story to me. She's probably ruined and

00:40:10.820 --> 00:40:13.500
ended up on Skid Row fucking Jack and Heroin.

00:40:13.559 --> 00:40:17.599
I remember Frank Zapper wrote a song called Mud

00:40:17.599 --> 00:40:20.639
Shark, and he mentions Vanilla Fudge, but he

00:40:20.639 --> 00:40:25.170
doesn't mention Led Zeppelin. Yeah, so Zappa

00:40:25.170 --> 00:40:28.050
knows all about it, or knew all about it, and

00:40:28.050 --> 00:40:31.969
wrote a sarcastic song about mud sharks. Well,

00:40:32.010 --> 00:40:33.710
I mean, it's a well -known incident. I mean,

00:40:33.750 --> 00:40:38.389
it really is. It's like, it's common knowledge,

00:40:38.449 --> 00:40:40.070
but it sounds to me like Zeppelin didn't have

00:40:40.070 --> 00:40:42.289
anything to do with it. I think it was all vanilla

00:40:42.289 --> 00:40:44.809
fudge, yeah. Yeah, but Zeppelin got the, well,

00:40:44.849 --> 00:40:48.010
Zeppelin was the more controversial band, so

00:40:48.010 --> 00:40:50.199
I'm pretty sure they're like... Led Zeppelin

00:40:50.199 --> 00:40:52.780
did this. Yeah, I think Vanilla Fudge is the

00:40:52.780 --> 00:40:55.800
one that inserted the fish into this poor young

00:40:55.800 --> 00:40:59.960
woman in various orifices of her body, but Led

00:40:59.960 --> 00:41:01.900
Zeppelin's the one that trashed the hotel afterwards.

00:41:02.400 --> 00:41:05.360
Yeah, so Led Zeppelin got the whole... They got

00:41:05.360 --> 00:41:07.780
the whole load, but Vanilla Fudge is the creeps

00:41:07.780 --> 00:41:09.539
that wanted to stick a fish in this poor young

00:41:09.539 --> 00:41:14.139
girl. How about the young girl is like, sure.

00:41:16.769 --> 00:41:18.989
And, you know, the waters right off the coast

00:41:18.989 --> 00:41:21.989
in Seattle, they ain't all that clean. No, no.

00:41:21.989 --> 00:41:24.170
So you're taking this nasty, dirty, diseased

00:41:24.170 --> 00:41:27.389
fish and you're inserting it? Yeah, I know. Oh,

00:41:27.530 --> 00:41:30.909
that's nasty. Yeah, that's, yeah. You know, I

00:41:30.909 --> 00:41:33.969
hope I am never that bored that I have to resort

00:41:33.969 --> 00:41:36.010
to something like that just to entertain myself.

00:41:36.349 --> 00:41:38.329
Yeah, I agree. I hope to God I'm never that bored.

00:41:39.590 --> 00:41:47.719
That's just bad. That's all I've had. I didn't

00:41:47.719 --> 00:41:50.460
have much time with music creeps this week. Yep.

00:41:50.599 --> 00:41:54.280
You got anything you want to go into? I'm trying

00:41:54.280 --> 00:41:56.219
to remember if I've read up on anything or heard

00:41:56.219 --> 00:42:03.199
anything as of late, but I'm blanking. Okay,

00:42:03.260 --> 00:42:06.260
let me see if I can go to something here. Let

00:42:06.260 --> 00:42:10.260
me go to the good old intranets. The wrong tronet.

00:42:10.760 --> 00:42:18.139
Yeah, yeah. Liarnet. What's new in rock music?

00:42:19.800 --> 00:42:30.280
Let's see what we have. What's new in rock music?

00:42:34.860 --> 00:42:39.300
Okay, hey, modern rock. This is a common commercial

00:42:39.300 --> 00:42:42.000
radio format that focuses on alternative rock

00:42:42.000 --> 00:42:45.400
music, often stating that hardcore punk with

00:42:45.400 --> 00:42:48.119
hardcore punk and expanding to include alternative

00:42:48.119 --> 00:42:51.519
rock since the 1980s. An alternative rock station.

00:42:51.980 --> 00:42:54.780
This genre is characterized by its departure

00:42:54.780 --> 00:42:57.519
from the mainstream rock sound, often incorporating

00:42:57.519 --> 00:43:01.539
elements of punk, grunge, and other sub -genres.

00:43:02.659 --> 00:43:06.280
Indie rock. This genre is known for its DIY...

00:43:08.240 --> 00:43:13.099
ethos, and often features bands that are not

00:43:13.099 --> 00:43:16.519
signed to major record labels. So independent.

00:43:17.199 --> 00:43:20.199
Hard rock. This genre is characterized by its

00:43:20.199 --> 00:43:22.900
heavier, more aggressive sound, often featuring

00:43:22.900 --> 00:43:26.500
distorted guitars and powerful vocals. Okay,

00:43:26.619 --> 00:43:30.099
examples of new rock artists. Greta Van Fleet,

00:43:30.260 --> 00:43:35.400
The 1975, Royal Blood, Foals, F -O -A -L -S,

00:43:36.320 --> 00:43:40.300
Don Rocco. Wet Leg. I don't know any of these.

00:43:40.980 --> 00:43:44.500
Inhaler. The Lathams. Machine Gun Kelly. The

00:43:44.500 --> 00:43:51.360
Bobitos. Sea Girls. Dorothy. Meet Me at the After.

00:43:51.780 --> 00:43:55.059
And Aaron Jones. Aaron Jones. Aaron Jones is

00:43:55.059 --> 00:44:00.039
good. I like him a lot. He's heavy. Songs in

00:44:00.039 --> 00:44:03.840
New Rock. The Caught Casualty by the Dead Pioneers.

00:44:04.530 --> 00:44:08.869
Fantasy by Scowl. Scowl, that's a good name.

00:44:09.110 --> 00:44:12.409
I know, isn't it? Blockage by Pigs, Pigs, Pigs,

00:44:12.409 --> 00:44:17.590
Pigs, Pigs, Pigs, Pigs. New World Julie from

00:44:17.590 --> 00:44:21.949
Dean Warnham. Freefall by Daughtry. That would

00:44:21.949 --> 00:44:29.349
be Chris Daughtry of American Idol, maybe. Coherence

00:44:29.349 --> 00:44:35.000
by Santana. Okay. People Watching by Sam Fender.

00:44:35.159 --> 00:44:38.760
It's Amaze Me Young by The Fountains, D .C. Gods

00:44:38.760 --> 00:44:40.960
of Rock and Roll by Billy Morrison, who works

00:44:40.960 --> 00:44:46.860
with Ozzy a lot. Your House Inhaler, 365 by Shinedown.

00:44:47.420 --> 00:44:51.860
Model Train Town by Petty USA. Even If It Kills

00:44:51.860 --> 00:44:55.679
Me, Papa Roach. Mayday, Three Days Grace. Perfect

00:44:55.679 --> 00:44:59.659
Soul, Spirit Box. New Way Out, Poppy. Good Things

00:44:59.659 --> 00:45:05.610
to Come, Linkin Park. Linkin Park. Over each

00:45:05.610 --> 00:45:09.550
other, Linkin Park and stained Linkin Park. So

00:45:09.550 --> 00:45:13.170
Linkin Park had a bunch out. Yeah. You got anything

00:45:13.170 --> 00:45:17.210
you come up with? I heard that the lawsuit between

00:45:17.210 --> 00:45:21.809
Gibson guitars and Dean guitars is back on. Dean

00:45:21.809 --> 00:45:25.320
has been copying some Gibson body styles. for

00:45:25.320 --> 00:45:27.159
years and years, and Gibson has been telling

00:45:27.159 --> 00:45:29.260
him to knock it off. They've been going back

00:45:29.260 --> 00:45:30.960
and forth, been kind of reaching agreements,

00:45:31.199 --> 00:45:34.719
but apparently the lawsuit is back on. And the

00:45:34.719 --> 00:45:36.940
last thing I saw yesterday said that Gibson had

00:45:36.940 --> 00:45:40.440
won. Really, they did? Dean Guitars is going

00:45:40.440 --> 00:45:43.320
to get a cease and desist to stop making guitars

00:45:43.320 --> 00:45:46.519
that look like Gibson's, like Les Pauls and SG's

00:45:46.519 --> 00:45:49.679
and Flying B's. Isn't a lot of the damage done,

00:45:49.800 --> 00:45:52.369
though? Yeah. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It

00:45:52.369 --> 00:45:54.469
took so long. They already got to produce so

00:45:54.469 --> 00:45:58.289
many of them. Now, do they have to pay damages

00:45:58.289 --> 00:46:00.570
at all? I don't know. I'll have to hear about

00:46:00.570 --> 00:46:04.610
that. I'm thinking one of the incentives for

00:46:04.610 --> 00:46:07.250
Gibson to go ahead and get this settled is that

00:46:07.250 --> 00:46:09.530
other guitar manufacturers were going to start

00:46:09.530 --> 00:46:12.150
copying as well because they're thinking if you're

00:46:12.150 --> 00:46:13.130
not going to stop being, you're not going to

00:46:13.130 --> 00:46:13.769
stop us. You know, you're right. It's not so

00:46:13.769 --> 00:46:16.150
much what happened as what could happen in the

00:46:16.150 --> 00:46:22.219
future. Well, Gibson is, who owns them now? God,

00:46:22.460 --> 00:46:24.320
I can't remember who owns the Gibson brand now,

00:46:24.400 --> 00:46:26.179
but I know that they own a lot of other brands.

00:46:27.380 --> 00:46:33.460
Okay. Gibson owns Kramer and Mesa Boogie. Okay.

00:46:33.659 --> 00:46:37.679
And Epiphone. Uh -huh. And KRK, which makes,

00:46:37.679 --> 00:46:43.480
like, studio monitors and things. There's another

00:46:43.480 --> 00:46:47.960
that they own. I can't think of right off the

00:46:47.960 --> 00:46:52.159
top of my head, but those are all Gibson family

00:46:52.159 --> 00:46:56.500
brands. Orville Gibson, the guy who started the

00:46:56.500 --> 00:46:59.119
company, he died a long time ago, and I really

00:46:59.119 --> 00:47:01.099
don't think the Gibson family has much in the

00:47:01.099 --> 00:47:03.079
way of direction of the company. I don't think

00:47:03.079 --> 00:47:08.559
they give a shit at all. So we'll see how Dean

00:47:08.559 --> 00:47:14.199
has to change. In a lot of ways, Dean was making

00:47:14.199 --> 00:47:16.800
affordable versions of Gibson. Yeah, they were,

00:47:16.920 --> 00:47:19.719
and I enjoyed them because they were affordable

00:47:19.719 --> 00:47:22.539
versions of Gibson that were decent, good guitars

00:47:22.539 --> 00:47:25.380
for not nearly as much money. Yeah. So I think

00:47:25.380 --> 00:47:27.380
that was a good market for them to have, but

00:47:27.380 --> 00:47:29.900
I guess that's going to be over now. Yeah, yeah,

00:47:30.019 --> 00:47:33.059
yeah. When I look over the Gibson website and

00:47:33.059 --> 00:47:35.179
I pick out a guitar that I think I'd like to

00:47:35.179 --> 00:47:37.719
have, it's usually around the $2 ,500 range.

00:47:38.039 --> 00:47:40.699
Uh -huh. You can get a Dean for less than $1

00:47:40.699 --> 00:47:44.239
,000 that's every bit as good. The Gibson will

00:47:44.239 --> 00:47:46.239
be U .S. made. The Dean will probably be Chinese

00:47:46.239 --> 00:47:48.880
made. But there are Chinese factories that are

00:47:48.880 --> 00:47:51.760
making really good guitars now. No, I know they

00:47:51.760 --> 00:47:54.360
are. Well, the Taurus, though. We'll see what

00:47:54.360 --> 00:47:55.960
happens with the Taurus. That's true. That's

00:47:55.960 --> 00:48:00.679
true. I'll have to check on that. Look, they're

00:48:00.679 --> 00:48:02.699
going to get solved. Yeah. They're going to get

00:48:02.699 --> 00:48:04.940
solved because each country needs each other

00:48:04.940 --> 00:48:07.440
too much, whether they admit it or not. At the

00:48:07.440 --> 00:48:10.019
end of everything, we all share this planet.

00:48:10.320 --> 00:48:13.139
Yes. And they're going to get solved. And whether

00:48:13.139 --> 00:48:15.300
you agree with what we're getting ripped off

00:48:15.300 --> 00:48:17.960
or not, it's going to get solved. Keep in mind

00:48:17.960 --> 00:48:20.039
everything's temporary. Yep. Because I could

00:48:20.039 --> 00:48:22.400
tell you stories from 30, 40 years ago that everybody

00:48:22.400 --> 00:48:24.239
said was going to be the end of the world and

00:48:24.239 --> 00:48:26.380
the end of American civilization and the end

00:48:26.380 --> 00:48:28.579
of our influence and blah. Eh, it didn't work.

00:48:28.820 --> 00:48:30.380
It didn't, yeah. They were completely wrong.

00:48:30.659 --> 00:48:32.559
Yeah, you're going to get all sorts of doomsayers.

00:48:32.800 --> 00:48:35.760
Yeah. So keep that in mind. Yeah. You know, I

00:48:35.760 --> 00:48:40.800
mean, and also what sells. Yeah, true. Yeah,

00:48:40.820 --> 00:48:43.760
so. I've got something different here. Okay.

00:48:44.000 --> 00:48:45.980
I was going to do this on the douches, but here

00:48:45.980 --> 00:48:49.860
we go. Now, I have food wars every now and then.

00:48:49.940 --> 00:48:52.820
Like, I was walking through Costco, and I was

00:48:52.820 --> 00:48:54.320
walking through the produce section. I thought,

00:48:54.360 --> 00:48:56.599
what would happen if that grape jumped up and

00:48:56.599 --> 00:48:58.719
started trying to kick the shit out of that banana?

00:48:58.840 --> 00:49:02.360
Who would win? So we called that food wars. Well,

00:49:02.420 --> 00:49:04.199
I expanded it a little bit into other things.

00:49:04.619 --> 00:49:07.460
So who would win between Bugs Bunny and Woody

00:49:07.460 --> 00:49:11.719
Woodpecker? Oh, I think Bugs is smarter. You

00:49:11.719 --> 00:49:13.420
think so? You think he'd outsmart him? He could

00:49:13.420 --> 00:49:15.679
stay away from Woody Woodpecker pecking his head?

00:49:16.619 --> 00:49:19.179
Yeah, I think Bugs Bunny could outsmart him.

00:49:19.500 --> 00:49:23.699
Okay. Woody would have to be pretty fast to get

00:49:23.699 --> 00:49:25.820
Bugs. Bugs would probably figure out something

00:49:25.820 --> 00:49:29.780
to get him, yeah. Yeah. Okay. How about Fred

00:49:29.780 --> 00:49:34.079
Flintstone versus Peter Griffin? Fred. Fred?

00:49:34.219 --> 00:49:36.710
Yeah. You think so? A club? Yeah. He would have

00:49:36.710 --> 00:49:38.610
a club and he would smack the shit out of Peter

00:49:38.610 --> 00:49:41.349
Griffin. Stick his dinosaur on him. Yeah, Dino.

00:49:41.570 --> 00:49:44.329
Dino the dinosaur. Or hell, he could have his

00:49:44.329 --> 00:49:47.030
neighbor's son, Bam Bam, come over and pick Peter

00:49:47.030 --> 00:49:49.510
Griffin up and throw him into Oklahoma. He'd

00:49:49.510 --> 00:49:52.429
go, hey, Bam Bam, come here. He'd go, Bam Bam,

00:49:52.510 --> 00:49:54.750
and knock the shit out of Peter Griffin. Go throw

00:49:54.750 --> 00:49:59.610
this guy into orbit, will you? Good point. Okay,

00:49:59.710 --> 00:50:02.849
so Peter Griffin's toast on that. How about a

00:50:02.849 --> 00:50:07.010
palm tree versus an elm? tree see i think an

00:50:07.010 --> 00:50:10.090
elm tree is a white trash tree yeah it would

00:50:10.090 --> 00:50:11.730
pick up something to beat the shit out of the

00:50:11.730 --> 00:50:14.929
palm tree it would find like a rock a big rock

00:50:14.929 --> 00:50:17.130
in the middle of the yard yeah it would smack

00:50:17.130 --> 00:50:20.429
the palm tree in the head and kill it yeah elm

00:50:20.429 --> 00:50:23.210
trees are like crackhead strong yeah yeah yeah

00:50:23.210 --> 00:50:26.269
there are two kinds of elm trees The ones that

00:50:26.269 --> 00:50:29.070
are dying of Dutch elms disease and ones that

00:50:29.070 --> 00:50:31.429
are going to die of Dutch elms disease. Yes.

00:50:31.889 --> 00:50:33.510
That's pretty much the only kind of elm tree.

00:50:33.570 --> 00:50:35.230
So they're already sick. They're already dying.

00:50:35.309 --> 00:50:37.670
Don't have much to lose. Yeah, they'll pick up

00:50:37.670 --> 00:50:39.690
a rock and just beat the hell out of the palm

00:50:39.690 --> 00:50:42.889
tree. Besides that, palm trees are kind of snooty

00:50:42.889 --> 00:50:45.570
anyhow. That's true. You know, yeah, they drink

00:50:45.570 --> 00:50:48.489
Chardonnay and, you know. Did you know that all

00:50:48.489 --> 00:50:50.989
of the palm trees in California are immigrants?

00:50:52.199 --> 00:50:54.699
Yeah, actually I did know that. Yeah, palm trees

00:50:54.699 --> 00:50:57.619
don't naturally grow there. They're all transplanted

00:50:57.619 --> 00:51:00.659
from elsewhere. Yes, and they had to do desert

00:51:00.659 --> 00:51:02.820
palms. They couldn't do real palms. Yeah, my

00:51:02.820 --> 00:51:05.360
grandparents lived in Florida, and they're very

00:51:05.360 --> 00:51:07.960
proud that they had actual native palms that

00:51:07.960 --> 00:51:09.639
actually grew there because it was the right

00:51:09.639 --> 00:51:12.219
climate instead of all the posers out in California.

00:51:15.420 --> 00:51:18.820
How about Henry Blake versus Colonel Potter?

00:51:20.039 --> 00:51:22.119
Oh, Potter would kick his ass. Potter would.

00:51:22.219 --> 00:51:25.360
He'd go, come here, you lip son of a bitch. He'd

00:51:25.360 --> 00:51:27.960
smack the piss out of him. Henry Blake also described

00:51:27.960 --> 00:51:32.480
himself as pear -shaped. Yes. Colonel Potter

00:51:32.480 --> 00:51:34.840
would fucking piss on him after he beat his ass.

00:51:35.000 --> 00:51:37.460
Yeah. He'd be like, take this, you piece of crap.

00:51:38.659 --> 00:51:41.380
And also, Henry Blake would start it, and Colonel

00:51:41.380 --> 00:51:43.800
Potter would just beat the shit out of him. So,

00:51:43.820 --> 00:51:46.619
how about Joanie from Happy Days versus Laverne

00:51:46.619 --> 00:51:50.139
from Laverne and Shirley? Laverne. Laverne, yeah,

00:51:50.239 --> 00:51:53.340
she's straight tough. Yeah, yeah. I think she'd

00:51:53.340 --> 00:51:55.780
probably chew tobacco as a statement. As soon

00:51:55.780 --> 00:51:57.280
as they get ready to fight, she'd take a big

00:51:57.280 --> 00:52:01.619
wad of Redman and just start fucking chewing

00:52:01.619 --> 00:52:04.079
on it, going, come on, bitch, you ready? Are

00:52:04.079 --> 00:52:07.300
you really ready? She'd spit one right in her

00:52:07.300 --> 00:52:11.739
face, then knock the piss out of Joni. Here's

00:52:11.739 --> 00:52:15.980
a real tough one for you. Barney Fife from The

00:52:15.980 --> 00:52:19.369
Andy Griffith Show. Yeah. And Potsy from Happy

00:52:19.369 --> 00:52:24.809
Days. Oh, shit. Barney's got that revolver, but

00:52:24.809 --> 00:52:28.590
he's only got one cartridge for it. And Potsy's

00:52:28.590 --> 00:52:32.829
got maybe the Fonz. Okay, I'm going to say that

00:52:32.829 --> 00:52:36.400
Potsy. Kotze's going to call the Fonz in, and

00:52:36.400 --> 00:52:39.179
the Fonz is just going to go, he's going to stomp

00:52:39.179 --> 00:52:41.840
and put his hand out, and then Barney Five's

00:52:41.840 --> 00:52:43.679
going to run off. And shoot himself in the foot.

00:52:43.800 --> 00:52:46.079
Yeah, I don't want no problems with you, Fonz.

00:52:46.079 --> 00:52:48.619
I don't want no problems. Yep, I can see that.

00:52:48.780 --> 00:52:51.079
And Fonz goes, well, there's the door, Barney.

00:52:51.599 --> 00:52:55.019
I'm going out, and I'm going out. That's a good

00:52:55.019 --> 00:52:58.960
one. I like that one. How about bagpipes versus

00:52:58.960 --> 00:53:04.199
a saxophone? Oh. bagpipes because they're so

00:53:04.199 --> 00:53:08.239
cumbersome and they twist around. Yeah, and Scottish

00:53:08.239 --> 00:53:10.599
barbarians play bagpipes. Yeah, that's true.

00:53:10.800 --> 00:53:14.039
So, saxophones are like the sexy instrument.

00:53:14.199 --> 00:53:19.980
Yeah. Calm, docile. Yeah. Okay. How about Jim

00:53:19.980 --> 00:53:23.639
Carrey versus Drew Carrey? Oh. The battle of

00:53:23.639 --> 00:53:26.719
the Carreys. You know, at this point, I'm going

00:53:26.719 --> 00:53:28.760
to go with Drew Carrey because Jim Carrey is

00:53:28.760 --> 00:53:31.440
very much a pacifist. Oh, yeah. He's crackers

00:53:31.440 --> 00:53:34.699
and crayons, too. Yeah. And also, Drew Carrey

00:53:34.699 --> 00:53:37.619
lost all that weight. I think he'd be like nimble.

00:53:37.860 --> 00:53:40.380
Yeah. Yeah, he'd probably high kick him just

00:53:40.380 --> 00:53:43.320
to show he could. Yeah, I'd go with Drew Carrey.

00:53:43.340 --> 00:53:45.340
Yeah, I would, too. Solidly, yeah. What about

00:53:45.340 --> 00:53:51.510
Chick -fil -A versus Subway? Oh, gosh. I'm going

00:53:51.510 --> 00:53:53.309
to have to go Chick -fil -A because they actually

00:53:53.309 --> 00:53:56.929
serve food. Subway doesn't actually serve food.

00:53:57.010 --> 00:53:59.530
It looks like food. It kind of smells like food,

00:53:59.630 --> 00:54:04.510
but it's really not food. Yeah, Subway. I don't

00:54:04.510 --> 00:54:07.250
know why anyone would eat at Subway, but whatever.

00:54:08.250 --> 00:54:13.010
This one is for me only, and Rob wouldn't know

00:54:13.010 --> 00:54:17.260
it either. Cohiba versus Amani Cristo. I think

00:54:17.260 --> 00:54:21.179
Cohiba will win. They're both traditionally from

00:54:21.179 --> 00:54:23.519
Cuba. Yeah. Which makes them a little tougher.

00:54:23.679 --> 00:54:27.619
Yeah. But I think Cohiba has got that name. Yeah.

00:54:27.980 --> 00:54:31.219
Plus Monte Cristo could also be a grilled sandwich.

00:54:31.500 --> 00:54:33.840
Yeah, that's true. So that kind of takes away

00:54:33.840 --> 00:54:36.280
a little seriousness. Yeah, yeah. They laugh

00:54:36.280 --> 00:54:38.440
at him. Yeah. And this one you wouldn't know.

00:54:38.500 --> 00:54:40.920
The two writers that write the most, Mitch versus

00:54:40.920 --> 00:54:45.340
Clint, that write into the douchebags most, Mitch.

00:54:45.769 --> 00:54:48.469
Because Clint hates us and Mitch loves us. Oh,

00:54:48.510 --> 00:54:49.809
well, you've got to go with that. Yeah, Mitch

00:54:49.809 --> 00:54:52.650
would beat the shit out of Clint. And then finally,

00:54:52.869 --> 00:55:00.449
Home Depot versus Lowe's. Oh, yeah. Wow. I think

00:55:00.449 --> 00:55:02.090
I'm going to go Home Depot. They've got better

00:55:02.090 --> 00:55:06.869
colors. I think so, too. Yeah, the bold orange.

00:55:06.989 --> 00:55:09.969
And also the name Lowe's just doesn't sound appealing.

00:55:10.210 --> 00:55:13.389
It's like, hey, what's your name? Lowe's. But

00:55:13.389 --> 00:55:15.110
Home Depot sounds great. Hey, what's your name?

00:55:15.190 --> 00:55:18.429
Home Depot. Now, they will insist that it's not

00:55:18.429 --> 00:55:21.530
Home Depot, it's The Home Depot. Oh, that's right.

00:55:21.610 --> 00:55:23.210
When they're advertised, they insist everyone

00:55:23.210 --> 00:55:25.929
use The. So I've started calling them The Home,

00:55:26.030 --> 00:55:28.869
The Depot, The. The Depot, The. I like that better.

00:55:28.889 --> 00:55:30.289
Yeah, because they like the word The in there,

00:55:30.309 --> 00:55:31.750
so I'm going to say it three times. The Home,

00:55:31.750 --> 00:55:35.070
The Depot, The. There we go. That'll work. All

00:55:35.070 --> 00:55:41.099
right. If we have time left, I have a list of

00:55:41.099 --> 00:55:43.579
songs that did not make it to number one, even

00:55:43.579 --> 00:55:47.719
though you think they did. Okay. Number ten on

00:55:47.719 --> 00:55:50.960
the list, Wonderwall by Oasis. Well, I could

00:55:50.960 --> 00:55:53.260
have swore that was so big and played on every

00:55:53.260 --> 00:55:56.760
station. It did. Yeah, for years. It peaked at

00:55:56.760 --> 00:55:59.539
number eight. There must have been a lot of other

00:55:59.539 --> 00:56:02.559
music out at the time. There probably was. On

00:56:02.559 --> 00:56:04.800
the alternative charts, it made it to number

00:56:04.800 --> 00:56:10.000
one. But that doesn't count. Boy bands were big,

00:56:10.000 --> 00:56:12.000
I think, at that time. Yeah, that's true. So

00:56:12.000 --> 00:56:15.280
new kids on the block probably trumped it, of

00:56:15.280 --> 00:56:18.500
course. New men on the block and men to men and

00:56:18.500 --> 00:56:22.110
backstreet men. Because there's nothing boys

00:56:22.110 --> 00:56:24.610
about them. These were full -grown men who wanted

00:56:24.610 --> 00:56:26.929
to rape your little girls. And the funny thing

00:56:26.929 --> 00:56:29.650
is, that one's name was Joey Fatone, spelled

00:56:29.650 --> 00:56:33.369
like fat one. Yeah. That was ironic. Yeah. Hey,

00:56:33.469 --> 00:56:35.230
you want to smoke a fat one? No, his name is

00:56:35.230 --> 00:56:38.789
Fatone. Yeah, yeah, get out of here. Okay, Mr.

00:56:39.090 --> 00:56:42.969
Brightside by The Killers. Yeah. That only made

00:56:42.969 --> 00:56:49.420
it to, where is it? Number 10. Peaked at number

00:56:49.420 --> 00:56:52.659
ten in both U .S. and U .K. Could have sworn

00:56:52.659 --> 00:56:56.480
that was much larger. Yeah. Okay. Number eight,

00:56:56.679 --> 00:57:00.579
Bad Romance by Lady Gaga. Wow. That was huge.

00:57:00.739 --> 00:57:03.039
That didn't make it to number one. Did not make

00:57:03.039 --> 00:57:05.019
it to number one. Let's see where it peaked.

00:57:09.780 --> 00:57:13.139
Peaked at number two. Almost made it. Almost.

00:57:13.239 --> 00:57:15.460
Almost made it. Again, probably a lot of music

00:57:15.460 --> 00:57:17.579
out during that time, and something was just

00:57:17.579 --> 00:57:20.659
a little bit bigger. Yeah, it doesn't say who

00:57:20.659 --> 00:57:24.579
beat it out. That's what I'd like to know, but

00:57:24.579 --> 00:57:27.059
anyhow, that's okay. Okay, here's a Taylor Swift

00:57:27.059 --> 00:57:30.260
song, Love Story. I don't know much about that.

00:57:30.300 --> 00:57:31.920
I don't know that one. It peaked at number four,

00:57:31.980 --> 00:57:34.699
but it was a blend of country and pop released

00:57:34.699 --> 00:57:37.900
in 2008. I think I know which one that was. That's

00:57:37.900 --> 00:57:39.579
the one that took her over to the other charts.

00:57:39.760 --> 00:57:42.739
Yeah. Where she's pretty steadily at now, pop.

00:57:43.019 --> 00:57:46.119
Yeah. But even though that only made it to number

00:57:46.119 --> 00:57:49.650
four, Since then, she has become the only artist

00:57:49.650 --> 00:57:52.630
to hold all ten top spots on the Billboard Hot

00:57:52.630 --> 00:57:57.530
100. Wow. She has had ten through one. No one

00:57:57.530 --> 00:58:01.670
else has ever done that. Wow. That's impressive

00:58:01.670 --> 00:58:04.809
as hell. Maybe the most popular entertainer ever.

00:58:05.130 --> 00:58:09.010
Maybe. Yeah, I think by the time she's done,

00:58:09.230 --> 00:58:12.010
she's going to hold a lot of records. I think,

00:58:12.030 --> 00:58:15.860
yeah. In like five or ten years, looking back

00:58:15.860 --> 00:58:18.699
at her career, people are going to go, wow, we

00:58:18.699 --> 00:58:21.079
didn't know it was this massive. But look at

00:58:21.079 --> 00:58:22.820
what she accomplished. I want her to do a metal

00:58:22.820 --> 00:58:27.099
song and hit number one. Wow, I don't know that.

00:58:27.539 --> 00:58:29.679
Well, it would be easy to because metal songs,

00:58:29.820 --> 00:58:32.039
there's not that many of them. And really, frankly,

00:58:32.260 --> 00:58:34.539
horrible songs are making number one. Yeah, that's

00:58:34.539 --> 00:58:38.380
true. That's true. Next up, we have number six,

00:58:38.639 --> 00:58:42.659
Don't Speak by No Doubt. That's odd. That was

00:58:42.659 --> 00:58:45.539
huge. That thing was played all the time. And

00:58:45.539 --> 00:58:49.199
it also integrated to rock radio besides Alternative.

00:58:49.579 --> 00:58:57.380
Yeah, yeah. Let's see, 1995. Sounds about right.

00:58:57.519 --> 00:58:59.639
Yeah. But here's the thing about that. It was

00:58:59.639 --> 00:59:03.539
never officially released as a single. It's just

00:59:03.539 --> 00:59:06.119
radio stations started playing it. So it never

00:59:06.119 --> 00:59:08.940
charted because it was never officially released

00:59:08.940 --> 00:59:11.929
as a single. It just did really well on Airplay.

00:59:12.170 --> 00:59:17.429
Yep. Okay. So we'll never know. It spent 16 weeks

00:59:17.429 --> 00:59:20.570
as the most played song on radio. I believe that.

00:59:21.250 --> 00:59:24.670
But it wasn't officially released, so oh well.

00:59:26.190 --> 00:59:30.130
Okay. This one surprised me. Born in the USA,

00:59:30.349 --> 00:59:33.809
Bruce Springsteen. Never made it to number one.

00:59:34.090 --> 00:59:36.650
That's surprising. It barely made it into the

00:59:36.650 --> 00:59:39.659
top ten, peaking at nine. Really? That's it.

00:59:41.480 --> 00:59:43.880
Wow. Yeah. That probably wasn't even as big as

00:59:43.880 --> 00:59:46.119
Ted. I don't think so. Although it would have

00:59:46.119 --> 00:59:49.260
seemed like it because of radio play. And, you

00:59:49.260 --> 00:59:51.239
know, it's ironic. It's often interpreted as

00:59:51.239 --> 00:59:54.159
a very patriotic song and used for political

00:59:54.159 --> 00:59:56.280
services. It is not. It's a protest song about

00:59:56.280 --> 00:59:58.760
how crappily a Vietnam veteran was treated. Went

00:59:58.760 --> 01:00:01.019
down to see the VA man. He said, son, you don't

01:00:01.019 --> 01:00:06.119
understand. I went down to the refinery, son,

01:00:06.300 --> 01:00:08.260
if it was up to me. Talking about how, yeah,

01:00:08.320 --> 01:00:10.460
it's like no one wants you after you're a veteran.

01:00:10.579 --> 01:00:12.840
Just get out of here. You're trash. I remember

01:00:12.840 --> 01:00:15.760
at the time. Ronald Reagan said, we should make

01:00:15.760 --> 01:00:17.960
this our new national anthem. It's so wonderful.

01:00:18.159 --> 01:00:20.699
He was trying to jump on board and bandwagon,

01:00:20.860 --> 01:00:23.460
trying to see hip. And then people started pointing

01:00:23.460 --> 01:00:26.000
out the lyrics. Okay, here's what we have as

01:00:26.000 --> 01:00:28.139
our national anthem. Here's the one you say you

01:00:28.139 --> 01:00:31.179
want. And Reagan immediately backed off, just

01:00:31.179 --> 01:00:35.659
pretending he never said it. Yeah. Open your

01:00:35.659 --> 01:00:39.500
mouth. Stick your foot right in. Oops. Number

01:00:39.500 --> 01:00:43.159
four, Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen. Cool. Never

01:00:43.159 --> 01:00:46.840
made it to number one. I knew that. It peaked

01:00:46.840 --> 01:00:49.239
at nine on the Billboard Hot 100. It did hit

01:00:49.239 --> 01:00:52.159
number one in the UK, but they're talking about

01:00:52.159 --> 01:00:55.840
the Billboard Hot 100. It actually was more popular

01:00:55.840 --> 01:00:59.460
after than it was during. True. That was because

01:00:59.460 --> 01:01:05.079
of Wayne's World. And the album it came out on,

01:01:05.139 --> 01:01:09.760
Night at the Opera, had... You're My Best Friend,

01:01:09.980 --> 01:01:13.139
which is a massive hit. I'm In Love With My Car,

01:01:13.360 --> 01:01:15.739
which was a minor hit. We had a couple other

01:01:15.739 --> 01:01:18.119
ones, and Bohemian Rhapsody was not the first

01:01:18.119 --> 01:01:20.539
hit. It wasn't the only hit off that album. And

01:01:20.539 --> 01:01:22.940
also, I think that was one that wasn't a single

01:01:22.940 --> 01:01:25.280
either, was it? It was released as a single.

01:01:25.340 --> 01:01:27.460
Oh, it was? Okay, I didn't realize that. And

01:01:27.460 --> 01:01:30.179
it was over six minutes long. It was really difficult

01:01:30.179 --> 01:01:32.500
for the band to get them to release it as a single.

01:01:32.559 --> 01:01:34.920
So Freddie Mercury went behind the labels back.

01:01:35.769 --> 01:01:38.269
and took a copy to another radio station and

01:01:38.269 --> 01:01:40.250
got him to start playing it, and then it just

01:01:40.250 --> 01:01:42.269
got picked up all over the country. So fine,

01:01:42.269 --> 01:01:44.269
the record label's like, all right, fine, we'll

01:01:44.269 --> 01:01:46.309
release it as a single. Okay, that's what it

01:01:46.309 --> 01:01:48.670
was. So it missed out on the first few weeks

01:01:48.670 --> 01:01:51.010
of sales because it wasn't released yet. Oh,

01:01:51.050 --> 01:01:52.869
wow. If they release it off the bat, it might

01:01:52.869 --> 01:01:55.530
have made number one. Well, and also, whenever

01:01:55.530 --> 01:01:58.150
you hear it nowadays, the DJ has to take a dump.

01:01:58.610 --> 01:02:02.750
Yes. Although they prerecord everything. Yeah.

01:02:03.500 --> 01:02:05.820
But back in the 70s, yeah, it was songs like

01:02:05.820 --> 01:02:10.480
Stairway to Heaven, Free Bird, Highway Star,

01:02:10.800 --> 01:02:13.480
you know, those big -ass long songs. They'd go

01:02:13.480 --> 01:02:17.179
put one of those on, hit the bathroom, run up

01:02:17.179 --> 01:02:19.239
to the roof, smoke half a joint, and come back

01:02:19.239 --> 01:02:21.559
down and get back on for the... And the station

01:02:21.559 --> 01:02:24.099
ID is always programmed in between the songs,

01:02:24.159 --> 01:02:25.860
so they didn't have to be there for the station

01:02:25.860 --> 01:02:28.239
ID either. That's true, that's true. Because

01:02:28.239 --> 01:02:30.719
there's a law, I forgot how so often you have

01:02:30.719 --> 01:02:33.840
to have the station ID to say, hey, this is whatever,

01:02:34.519 --> 01:02:37.639
KY102, this is Q104, whatever. Yeah, otherwise

01:02:37.639 --> 01:02:41.760
you lose your license. Yes. Next up, smells like

01:02:41.760 --> 01:02:45.730
teen spirit. That's really surprising. Yep. Because

01:02:45.730 --> 01:02:48.789
that's all that was playing for us. Oh, my gosh.

01:02:49.070 --> 01:02:51.750
It peaked at number six. No, you know what? No,

01:02:51.769 --> 01:02:54.349
no, no. Actually, I believe that. I believe that.

01:02:54.510 --> 01:02:57.570
And the reason is because Grunge took a while

01:02:57.570 --> 01:02:59.769
to get some traction. That's true. That's true.

01:02:59.849 --> 01:03:04.630
The album was released in 91. Uh -huh. And hair

01:03:04.630 --> 01:03:07.750
bands were still hanging on. Yeah. And, like,

01:03:07.769 --> 01:03:10.050
Guns N' Roses kept the whole hard rock thing

01:03:10.050 --> 01:03:11.909
going all the way through the Grunge. Yeah. Because

01:03:11.909 --> 01:03:15.639
Guns N' Roses came out in, what, 89? 87. 87.

01:03:15.639 --> 01:03:18.179
For Appetite. For Appetite. So they were before

01:03:18.179 --> 01:03:21.039
the grunge, and they survived grunge just fine.

01:03:21.280 --> 01:03:24.619
Yeah, and that's because they weren't glam. No.

01:03:25.039 --> 01:03:27.719
They were dirt rock. Yeah. They were tough guys

01:03:27.719 --> 01:03:29.360
who could play instruments. Yeah, and also they

01:03:29.360 --> 01:03:31.119
didn't put out a lot of albums either, so they

01:03:31.119 --> 01:03:33.380
kind of lingered as a lore. It's kind of like,

01:03:33.420 --> 01:03:36.139
oh, yeah, there's this Guns N' Roses band somewhere.

01:03:37.820 --> 01:03:41.079
So Smells Like Teen Spirit peaked at number six

01:03:41.079 --> 01:03:44.300
on the Billboard. It did hit number one on the

01:03:44.300 --> 01:03:47.199
alternate charts and in some other countries.

01:03:47.420 --> 01:03:51.079
Okay. Sold 13 million units. Wow. That's pretty

01:03:51.079 --> 01:03:54.739
good. That is. Number two, Don't Stop Believin'

01:03:54.780 --> 01:03:58.760
by Journey. That's another one that came up huge.

01:04:00.099 --> 01:04:02.960
Way later, and that was the ending, the famous

01:04:02.960 --> 01:04:06.260
Fade to Black Sopranos episode. And it became

01:04:06.260 --> 01:04:09.159
a hit then too, but I can believe that both times

01:04:09.159 --> 01:04:11.639
it didn't hit number one. Because that was not

01:04:11.639 --> 01:04:15.219
nearly the best song on that album. It was good,

01:04:15.340 --> 01:04:19.039
but it wasn't the best. Album was their seventh

01:04:19.039 --> 01:04:24.039
album in 1981. And Don't Stop Believing was the

01:04:24.039 --> 01:04:26.719
very first track. So it was the first song everyone

01:04:26.719 --> 01:04:29.869
heard when they put the album on. The album itself

01:04:29.869 --> 01:04:32.210
reached number one, but the song only made it

01:04:32.210 --> 01:04:35.469
to number nine. I believe that. I really do.

01:04:35.610 --> 01:04:37.710
But you'd have to have been around and realized

01:04:37.710 --> 01:04:40.590
that that album was so huge on every other facet.

01:04:40.590 --> 01:04:44.570
It was enormous. And then number one, Thriller,

01:04:44.730 --> 01:04:47.969
Michael Jackson. That's really surprising. Yep,

01:04:48.010 --> 01:04:50.170
did not make it to number one for some reason.

01:04:50.650 --> 01:04:53.630
Isn't that crazy? That is crazy. Came out in

01:04:53.630 --> 01:04:57.269
the sixth album in 1982, the Thriller album.

01:04:58.219 --> 01:05:02.260
Go ahead. The album itself is the best -selling

01:05:02.260 --> 01:05:05.820
album of all time with over 500 million copies

01:05:05.820 --> 01:05:09.079
sold. But the song itself peaked at number four.

01:05:09.380 --> 01:05:11.360
I'll tell you why. Because of all the other hits

01:05:11.360 --> 01:05:16.340
on it. Yeah. Didn't that have... I think that

01:05:16.340 --> 01:05:19.880
had Beat It and Billie Jean. Billie Jean. Those

01:05:19.880 --> 01:05:24.150
two were bigger than Thriller. Yeah. Thriller

01:05:24.150 --> 01:05:26.210
was kind of like an ancillary song, actually,

01:05:26.289 --> 01:05:28.590
really. Yeah, Thriller was fun for the video,

01:05:28.809 --> 01:05:31.769
but to just listen to it by itself, it wasn't

01:05:31.769 --> 01:05:33.530
as much fun as the other songs were. No, the

01:05:33.530 --> 01:05:36.110
video with Vincent Price, I believe, was huge.

01:05:36.550 --> 01:05:39.909
So, yeah, so that's one. Is that all of them?

01:05:39.929 --> 01:05:42.730
That's ten. All righty, let's go ahead and wrap

01:05:42.730 --> 01:05:45.349
this up, because Val has an appointment that

01:05:45.349 --> 01:05:47.530
I've got to take her to. All righty. So, anyhow,

01:05:47.769 --> 01:05:52.800
thanks for listening. Go fuck yourself. Oh, no.

01:05:52.940 --> 01:05:56.199
Looks like the show's over, kids. Mark has explosive

01:05:56.199 --> 01:05:59.860
diarrhea and can't afford a wireless mic. Fear

01:05:59.860 --> 01:06:02.260
not, assholes. They'll be back invading your

01:06:02.260 --> 01:06:03.039
ear holes soon.