WEBVTT

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Hey, you fucking derelicts. It's time for the

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Daily Douchebag Pledge. I, Joe or Jane Listener,

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hereby promise to download the show. I, Joe or

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Jane Listener. Hereby promise to grab other people's

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phones, unattended computers, public computers,

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and all of my work computers as well, and download

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the show from there. I, Joe or Jane Listener,

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hereby promise to make other people listen. I,

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Joe or Jane Listener. will hereby lie to everyone

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about how quality the show is. I, Joe or Jane

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Listener, promise to make all my family members

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listen and recite the daily douchebag pledge.

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And finally, I, Joe or Jane Listener, hereby

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promise to make the trek to Knobloch, Missouri,

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just to have a selfie with the Knobloch sign.

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Here at Two Douchebags and a Microphone, we don't

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stand behind our journalistic integrity. Go ahead

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and assume we got the story wrong. At least we

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admit it. Not like all those other guys. We can

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and will lie if it makes the story better. Two

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douchebags and a microphone. To radiation. Watch

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him glow. Watch Rob Red jump up 25 feet and grab

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birds out of thin air with his mouth. With his

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mouth. Rob can now be rented for children's parties

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and bar men's fests. That's right. Come on and

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rent you a Rob today. That's right. Come by and

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rent Rob for a day. A day. A day. Watch Rob consume

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seven bottles of night cream and still break

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dance and moonwalk. Watch Rob Red fart down a

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building. Fart down a building! Rob Red assumes

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no responsibility whatsoever. He is not a babysitter

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and he doesn't give one hell of a shit about

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your children. Please remember to corral every

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little bastard you have. Before Rob gets there,

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and Walt will not put up with any backtalk, he

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will promptly get them in the place. Rob Rehag

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assumes no responsibility for anything that could

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be stolen from his visit. Rob Rehag has no responsibility

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whatsoever in any help him of any situation.

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Read a Rob today. You watched the news. It looks

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grim. Is an apocalypse inevitable? We suggest

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you download all our podcasts beforehand and

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have multiple mobile chargers. This is a list

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of medium -term food storage. Folk staple food

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items. Rice, pasta, flour, oats, granola, herbs

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and spices, beans, canned meat, pickled vegetables,

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dried fruit, instant potatoes, boxed or canned

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food. peanut butter, jerky, energy protein bars,

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oils, sauces, and condiments in the fast food

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type packaging. So you want proof that we love

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you here at QD Spades and Microphone Central?

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Here's a proof right here about the drink of

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the week. Hey, all you drunk belly dancers. This

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one's for you. This is a Butch Wacker. This is

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from Norwegian Cruise Line's Best Drinks. This

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is a chocolatey, delicious drink. Thick. You

00:04:05.099 --> 00:04:08.060
can make yourself. It starts out one ounce of

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rum, one -half ounce Chocono, chocolate -flavored

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liqueur, one -half ounce of vodka, one -half

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ounce of Bailey's Irish Creek, one -half ounce

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of Kahula, and one -half ounce of Amaretto. Shake

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all together, put in a blast, and there you are.

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Delightful, chocolatey goodness. Enjoy. Two douchebags

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and a microphone. I'm Mark here on the Kansas

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City end of this here podcast. And I am Rob on

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the beautiful landmark of Lake of the Ozarks.

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Right. Rob, you've gotten so good at that. I

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mean, geez, you could sell land there. You know,

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like I'll come up and go, yeah, I'm kind of,

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oh, no, I'm kind of on the fence. I'm thinking

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about buying a lake house here. What do you think

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about it, Mr. Radford, you know, realtor? What

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do you think? Do you think I should buy one of

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these? Definitely. Okay. Well, what do you call

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it, though? Beautiful. Beautiful. Beautiful.

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Beautiful. Okay. All right. All right. Well,

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my latest question is this, Rob. The homeless

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are always on the move. Where the hell are they

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going? They don't have jobs. They don't run errands.

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No after -school soccer practice for the tots.

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You know, they don't have to hurry home because

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the furnace guy is coming. I would just simply

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like to ask one of them, where are you going?

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Why are you always in a hurry? These are valid

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questions, aren't they, Rob? I mean, I'm not

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making fun of them. I'm just curious. Every one

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of them up here in the city, they're always on

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the move and they seem in a hurry. I want to

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know where they're going. That's a good question.

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All right. Hey, if you're homeless and you listen

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to this podcast, write us, doucheb66 for now,

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at yahoo .com. Let me know where you guys are

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going because I really want to know. I find it

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perplexing that every one of them don't have

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a house or anything to do, but they're always

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in a hurry with their backpack and their shopping

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carts, and they're always in a hurry going somewhere.

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I just want to know where that is. Is there like

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a mecca of homeless somewhere, you know, where

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you like go there and there's like, I don't know,

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a beautiful lake and a bunch of trees and a bunch

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of homeless people sitting around eating pineapples

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or something? Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe. Yeah,

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who knows. All right. I have a Bluetooth in my

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Jeep that has behavioral problems. I get in the

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car, right, and my Bluetooth is supposed to automatically

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connect. But around every tenth time, it fails

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to recognize my phone. I thought maybe, like,

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maybe the Bluetooth next door was interfering.

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It just basically told me there's no Bluetooth,

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but I know better. So, anyhow, I looked it up

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on the Internet, right? Because I was really

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going, what the hell's going on here, you know?

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Am I doing something wrong? Well, here's what

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I found on the Internet. It's kind of let me

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know that my Bluetooth is defiant and there's

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nothing I can do about it. You know, it's like

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a lot of people have this problem. It's like

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Bluetooth, after a while, they kind of like,

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like I said, every 10th time, they're like, nah,

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I'm not going to do it today. You're just shit

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out of luck, Mr. Wallace. That's too bad. I'm

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not working. So, you know, I thought about, you

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know, like getting an SD card with music on it

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and threatening it with it, right? Just like

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going in there and going, yeah, I know you're

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there, Bluetooth, but I'm just going to throw

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this in. You know what? Because I can. I can

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bypass you and get music. So fuck off. But I

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don't think that'll work. I don't think it gives

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a shit. What do you think, Rob? I don't think

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it does either. Probably not. You know, I was

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like thinking like maybe it like kind of like

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look over there and go, SD card. Are you going

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to replace me? You can't. I'm the Bluetooth.

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You can't replace me. So, yeah, who knows? So

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we got something going on here in Kansas City,

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right? Kansas City wants the voters to approve

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another tax, right? Our roads, they literally

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feel like a washed -out creek bed. I mean, you

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know, everybody and myself, I'm talking, you

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know, to other people, and we're kind of thinking

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that if you can't ever fix the roads, why in

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the world would I or Joe Taxpayer trust you with

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more money? You know, this isn't a political

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program, but I'm just stating this because I've

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talked to a lot of people here lately, and they're

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all like, well, yeah, we hear that they're in

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favor of this new tax for the schools, but actually

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nobody seems to be in favor for it. Everybody

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thought the same thing. They're like, you know

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what, you can't fix the roads, and you think

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that you're going to pile some more money. We're

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going to hand you more money, and you're going

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to fix something that's a problem? We don't trust

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you. The potholes are a problem, and they're

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not getting fixed. So why would we give you more

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money? It's kind of like the kid that, you know,

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you give them like a dollar, and you say, go

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buy an ice cream. Okay, just one. Then they buy

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their whole money worth of ice cream. I mean,

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I know ice cream's more than, you know, a dollar

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now. Let's say you give them $10, and you go,

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all right, buy one ice cream, one ice cream only,

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come back with a change, they buy 10 ice creams

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with it. OK, you're not going to trust him with

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money. And that's what's going on here in the

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city. And look, I'm not saying there's a great

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answer. I'm not saying there's a right or wrong.

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What I'm saying is, is I think this thing's going

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to fail because I've talked to enough people

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and everyone feels the same way. They're like,

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you know what? We can't even get our roads fixed.

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Why would we give you another dime? Because you

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can't prove that you are responsible with the

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money that we give you. So it's going to be interesting.

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And I will report back on this. And I can name

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three businesses in the last year that went under

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specifically because their taxes are astronomical.

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I like to go to this place up the road. It's

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a very small place called Mama Leone's. It's

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not too far away. It's about a mile and a half.

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It's easy to get to. It's right off Redbridge

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Road. I mean, it's great pizza and strombolis

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and Greek salads and stuff like that. That kind

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of a place. And it's very casual. I think it

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might... Might have been an old Wendy's or something

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where they opened up. They have a nice menu,

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and they have real New York -style pizza in the

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KC Metro. It's really good. And, I mean, I don't

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know what their origins are there, but they used

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to do original pizza in Bannister Mall. Do you

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remember original pizza? Yeah, I love that place.

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Yeah, it's the same family, it does it. Oh, okay,

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okay. Yeah, and this is like... They're nice

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people. They are nice people. Yeah, they are.

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And this might be the grandson or the son. I

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think it's the grandson, judging by his age,

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that's there that owns it now. So I was in there

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the other day, and I was getting me a salad and

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a slice of pizza. And I talked to the owner whenever

00:11:23.460 --> 00:11:25.059
he was around. I talked to him every now and

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then. And if I understood him correctly, the

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taxes equal out to around $50 a day, dude. He

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has a small place. You know... KC is our number

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one market, according to RSS and Google. Go to

00:11:39.179 --> 00:11:42.539
Monteleone's and frequent these smaller places.

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You know, I'm not embellishing this one bit.

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They are struggling to stay in business. And

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if you like your local place, get down there.

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Support them. Because they're getting taxed out

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of this town, from what I understand. And I'm

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not saying that it's anybody's fault. I'm not

00:12:00.700 --> 00:12:03.750
getting political. What I'm telling you is what

00:12:03.750 --> 00:12:07.250
I see going on, and it's not a good thing. So,

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you know, whatever happened wherever, I don't

00:12:11.230 --> 00:12:13.250
know. Is someone stealing the money? I don't

00:12:13.250 --> 00:12:15.470
know. Are they mismanaging the money? I don't

00:12:15.470 --> 00:12:17.830
know. All I know is what people are telling me,

00:12:17.870 --> 00:12:20.049
and I'm spreading the word. If you like your

00:12:20.049 --> 00:12:22.830
place, go to them because they're all struggling.

00:12:23.129 --> 00:12:25.730
I could not imagine, you know, like the owner,

00:12:25.830 --> 00:12:28.870
I'm pretty sure what he said was $50 a day. Okay,

00:12:29.029 --> 00:12:32.500
let's say they bring in $300, right, Rob? Okay,

00:12:32.559 --> 00:12:37.639
so $50 go to taxes. Probably another $80 goes

00:12:37.639 --> 00:12:42.000
to labor. Probably another $80 goes to utilities.

00:12:43.179 --> 00:12:46.259
And then the food costs. What does that leave

00:12:46.259 --> 00:12:51.940
you? Practically nothing. So basically, it looks

00:12:51.940 --> 00:12:55.100
to me like you have good days, right? And then

00:12:55.100 --> 00:12:58.019
you have bad days. The good days are just keeping

00:12:58.019 --> 00:13:00.539
you above water. And then the rest of the time...

00:13:00.779 --> 00:13:03.559
You're scratching for traction. I mean, you're

00:13:03.559 --> 00:13:05.759
like, you know, you're biting it tooth and nail

00:13:05.759 --> 00:13:07.299
every day. You're looking at the bills and going,

00:13:07.379 --> 00:13:11.200
man, sales weren't that good this month. I don't

00:13:11.200 --> 00:13:15.139
know, man, you know. And I'm telling you, it's

00:13:15.139 --> 00:13:17.799
getting to where, and Kansas City is not the

00:13:17.799 --> 00:13:20.720
only place. A lot of these big cities, that's

00:13:20.720 --> 00:13:24.639
just the way it is, you know. And really, the

00:13:24.639 --> 00:13:27.000
only thing we can do is this right here. And

00:13:27.000 --> 00:13:29.379
everybody's all freaked out about the stock market

00:13:29.379 --> 00:13:32.649
and all that. You only lose money if you take

00:13:32.649 --> 00:13:37.129
it out. Right, Rob? Right. If you keep it in

00:13:37.129 --> 00:13:40.529
there, what happens is, let's say the shares

00:13:40.529 --> 00:13:44.870
get cut in half, blue chip stocks, okay? You're

00:13:44.870 --> 00:13:47.950
buying them up for half the price. Then later

00:13:47.950 --> 00:13:50.590
on, when they're full price, you're reaping that

00:13:50.590 --> 00:13:53.490
profit. So you lost some of your profits here

00:13:53.490 --> 00:13:56.230
over the last 10 years, okay? You're going to

00:13:56.230 --> 00:13:58.549
make them back. The worst thing you can do is

00:13:58.549 --> 00:14:01.320
grab your money. And whether you agree with the

00:14:01.320 --> 00:14:05.539
guy in office or not, you don't do that. You

00:14:05.539 --> 00:14:08.159
know, once you grab it out, you lost whatever

00:14:08.159 --> 00:14:11.080
you made, and then maybe a little bit more. Leave

00:14:11.080 --> 00:14:14.519
it in there. Whether you trust your government

00:14:14.519 --> 00:14:16.679
or not, I mean, look, you're in it for the long

00:14:16.679 --> 00:14:18.799
haul, so if you want to retire when you're 65,

00:14:19.340 --> 00:14:21.559
you probably better leave it in there, especially

00:14:21.559 --> 00:14:23.940
if you're like Meyer Robb's age, you know? It's

00:14:23.940 --> 00:14:27.320
like, okay. Yeah, you know, I understand that

00:14:27.320 --> 00:14:30.620
I lost some money. I think Friday I lost $2 ,500.

00:14:31.340 --> 00:14:35.679
But what happened previous five years is I made

00:14:35.679 --> 00:14:42.019
about $70 ,000. You see? So you take that $70

00:14:42.019 --> 00:14:45.720
,000 comparative to the $2 ,500 I lost, it's

00:14:45.720 --> 00:14:48.100
no big deal. But if you look at it for one day's

00:14:48.100 --> 00:14:50.360
loss, it's like, oh my God, the sky's falling.

00:14:51.019 --> 00:14:54.210
No, it isn't. Already made over 70 grand on the

00:14:54.210 --> 00:14:58.269
thing over the last 10 years. So really, I mean,

00:14:58.269 --> 00:15:01.429
if you put it in true perspective, you leave

00:15:01.429 --> 00:15:07.110
it in there. So, and I also, I know I'm skipping

00:15:07.110 --> 00:15:10.090
from one thing to another thing, but I'm telling

00:15:10.090 --> 00:15:13.970
everyone again, I put on Kinder, the spice people,

00:15:14.210 --> 00:15:17.750
it's wood -fired garlic. Put them on bone -in

00:15:17.750 --> 00:15:21.009
ribeyes and charred the spice into the steak.

00:15:21.500 --> 00:15:25.440
This spice is the best ever, Rob. I used to use

00:15:25.440 --> 00:15:27.779
a combination of like four or five spices and

00:15:27.779 --> 00:15:30.440
marinate them. Now I only use that one spice.

00:15:30.700 --> 00:15:33.120
I'm telling you, this thing is a magnificent

00:15:33.120 --> 00:15:38.279
creation. It's fantastic. So I'm telling you,

00:15:38.299 --> 00:15:43.740
go out, get Kinder's wood -fired garlic and put

00:15:43.740 --> 00:15:45.919
it on something that you like to eat. You will

00:15:45.919 --> 00:15:48.399
be thanking me. For a long time from now. Ten

00:15:48.399 --> 00:15:49.860
years from now, you'll be like, hey, that's the

00:15:49.860 --> 00:15:52.539
guy that told me to get the Kinder stuff. I still

00:15:52.539 --> 00:15:56.779
use that. And I suddenly realized why Gene Simmons

00:15:56.779 --> 00:16:00.419
is charging $20 ,000 to be his roadie. That is

00:16:00.419 --> 00:16:06.779
a going price for liposuction. So, you know,

00:16:06.840 --> 00:16:09.179
so I think that's it. He's like, I'm going to

00:16:09.179 --> 00:16:11.379
get some idiot to haul my shit around and pay

00:16:11.379 --> 00:16:13.799
for my liposuction because I'm a big, fat, greasy

00:16:13.799 --> 00:16:18.610
bitch now. So. Anyhow, I remember being a critic

00:16:18.610 --> 00:16:21.509
of Ace saying that he let himself go. Ace could

00:16:21.509 --> 00:16:26.250
clap back right now at that old bag of shit and

00:16:26.250 --> 00:16:28.570
say, hey, what about you now? Hey, you know,

00:16:28.690 --> 00:16:31.309
I'm cleaned up. I don't do drugs anymore. I've

00:16:31.309 --> 00:16:34.529
slid down. You know, all my tests are good and

00:16:34.529 --> 00:16:37.730
everything. What about you, genie boy? Oh, ooh.

00:16:38.470 --> 00:16:41.370
Uh -oh, Mr. High and Mighty kind of let himself

00:16:41.370 --> 00:16:44.450
go a little bit there, didn't he? Okay, all right.

00:16:45.129 --> 00:16:47.470
Ace is too classy. Not only that, but Ace has

00:16:47.470 --> 00:16:49.889
moved on. He doesn't give a shit. He doesn't

00:16:49.889 --> 00:16:52.230
talk about them like they talk about him. He

00:16:52.230 --> 00:16:55.210
doesn't constantly bag on them or nothing. He's

00:16:55.210 --> 00:16:57.389
just living his life and enjoying himself. He's

00:16:57.389 --> 00:17:00.710
doing concerts. Like he said, they retired. I

00:17:00.710 --> 00:17:04.450
didn't. As far as I'm concerned, Ace won. Ace

00:17:04.450 --> 00:17:07.930
had a very successful solo career. A lot of people

00:17:07.930 --> 00:17:10.089
like me loved him the best and still love him

00:17:10.089 --> 00:17:12.309
the best and still think he's the best out of

00:17:12.309 --> 00:17:16.960
the whole band, the most talented. Yes. And this

00:17:16.960 --> 00:17:21.579
is like 8 out of 10 people. 8 out of 10 KISS

00:17:21.579 --> 00:17:24.579
fans I know all think that Ace was the most talented

00:17:24.579 --> 00:17:30.099
guy on there and the most likable, too. So, anyhow.

00:17:31.420 --> 00:17:36.099
And so, once again, Rob, remember my problem

00:17:36.099 --> 00:17:38.859
that I had about my locker only being a half

00:17:38.859 --> 00:17:43.140
locker and I need a full one at work? Yeah. Yeah.

00:17:43.279 --> 00:17:47.180
Well, Every evening I'm in such a hurry to get

00:17:47.180 --> 00:17:49.200
out of there that I take this half locker and

00:17:49.200 --> 00:17:52.039
I cram these big rubber boots that I have to

00:17:52.039 --> 00:17:54.880
wear at work. I cram them in there any way I

00:17:54.880 --> 00:17:56.799
can just to shut the son of a bitch and leave,

00:17:56.900 --> 00:17:59.420
right? Because I'm always in a hurry. Well, it

00:17:59.420 --> 00:18:01.880
came to a head the other day. There's four people

00:18:01.880 --> 00:18:04.000
walking by. My boots came out and kicked me right

00:18:04.000 --> 00:18:08.640
in the face again. And you're talking about people

00:18:08.640 --> 00:18:11.579
like, oh my God, are you okay? And I'm like.

00:18:11.789 --> 00:18:13.609
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It didn't hurt, really. It

00:18:13.609 --> 00:18:16.549
hurt like fuck. And I feel like a dumbass. Because

00:18:16.549 --> 00:18:19.569
once again, I just, you know, I can't help it.

00:18:19.589 --> 00:18:22.089
It's like, oh, shit, man. It's 430. I want to

00:18:22.089 --> 00:18:23.529
get out of here, man. I want to get out of here

00:18:23.529 --> 00:18:26.289
now, not two minutes from now. So I never take

00:18:26.289 --> 00:18:28.470
the time to put them in there right. I always

00:18:28.470 --> 00:18:31.529
think, man, you know what? I'll remember tomorrow.

00:18:31.769 --> 00:18:34.890
I'll be like, all right. Open it up. Stand back.

00:18:35.109 --> 00:18:37.539
Let them. let them jump out and be out of the

00:18:37.539 --> 00:18:40.940
way. But every time I'm like, boom, hits me right

00:18:40.940 --> 00:18:44.240
in the face. Only this time is a little embarrassing

00:18:44.240 --> 00:18:47.200
and a little blood on my nose too. That was even

00:18:47.200 --> 00:18:51.700
more embarrassing. So, yeah. I think I'm going

00:18:51.700 --> 00:18:54.420
to start remembering like tonight. I took that

00:18:54.420 --> 00:18:57.259
extra two minutes and I put them in there properly,

00:18:57.339 --> 00:18:59.480
even though it's hard to because I really need

00:18:59.480 --> 00:19:02.759
a full locker. I folded them in half. I put them.

00:19:03.099 --> 00:19:05.599
In the middle, no tension at all. So when I open

00:19:05.599 --> 00:19:07.160
that up tomorrow, it should not be a problem.

00:19:07.460 --> 00:19:09.920
So hopefully I remember this and I keep doing

00:19:09.920 --> 00:19:11.400
this because I'm getting tired of getting kicked

00:19:11.400 --> 00:19:16.400
in the face. And Davey sent me a new trailer

00:19:16.400 --> 00:19:21.500
for the remake of Naked Gun. Dude, it is funnier

00:19:21.500 --> 00:19:24.720
than hell. Look it up on YouTube. You know, most

00:19:24.720 --> 00:19:28.319
remakes anymore to me are just stupid. You know,

00:19:28.380 --> 00:19:30.559
they're trying to prove a point. They're trying

00:19:30.559 --> 00:19:33.099
to teach you a lesson or something. Look, all

00:19:33.099 --> 00:19:35.880
that's fine and dandy, man. You know, everyone

00:19:35.880 --> 00:19:38.119
should have their, you know, the things that

00:19:38.119 --> 00:19:40.599
they believe in. And I'm full -hearted 100 %

00:19:40.599 --> 00:19:44.039
in favor of the Constitution. You can love what

00:19:44.039 --> 00:19:46.220
you want, and I can love what I want. But when

00:19:46.220 --> 00:19:49.779
I watch a movie, I want to watch the movie. I

00:19:49.779 --> 00:19:51.920
don't want someone trying to tell me something.

00:19:52.019 --> 00:19:53.759
You know, I already have my views on everything.

00:19:54.380 --> 00:19:56.839
So, usually, to me, that ruins a movie. This

00:19:56.839 --> 00:19:58.940
time, it looks to me like they went to make a

00:19:58.940 --> 00:20:02.539
funny movie, and that's all they did. They didn't

00:20:02.539 --> 00:20:04.519
try to do anything different or anything like

00:20:04.519 --> 00:20:06.039
that. They're like, this movie's going to match

00:20:06.039 --> 00:20:10.759
the first one. So, anyhow, one of the parts that's

00:20:10.759 --> 00:20:13.940
funnier than hell is it shows all the detectives,

00:20:13.940 --> 00:20:16.660
except for the African -American detective. They

00:20:16.660 --> 00:20:19.460
walk by Leslie Nielsen's painting on the wall,

00:20:19.539 --> 00:20:22.809
and they all kiss it and say, Hi, Daddy. Okay,

00:20:22.849 --> 00:20:26.349
so like he like fathered all that. Then the African

00:20:26.349 --> 00:20:29.970
-American one, he walks by the painting of O

00:20:29.970 --> 00:20:32.930
.J. Simpson. He looks at the camera and shakes

00:20:32.930 --> 00:20:37.029
his head and walks off. It's fucking funnier

00:20:37.029 --> 00:20:39.130
than hell. And just the look on his face, he's

00:20:39.130 --> 00:20:46.700
kind of like, ah, forget it. But there are so

00:20:46.700 --> 00:20:49.079
many other funny parts. That was just like one

00:20:49.079 --> 00:20:51.880
real notable one. But it was just funny the way,

00:20:51.920 --> 00:20:54.759
you know, they all like, hi, Daddy, hi, Daddy,

00:20:54.819 --> 00:20:56.920
hi, Daddy. And then he looks at O .J. and then

00:20:56.920 --> 00:20:59.140
he looks at the camera and he's like, forget

00:20:59.140 --> 00:21:05.579
it. He walks off. So anyhow, but I have to say,

00:21:05.640 --> 00:21:08.059
O .J. was brilliant on those. Wasn't he brilliant

00:21:08.059 --> 00:21:12.559
on the naked guns? Yes, he was. Oh, I mean, he.

00:21:13.150 --> 00:21:15.589
He should have really went into acting more because

00:21:15.589 --> 00:21:18.430
he was really good. Yeah. I mean, especially

00:21:18.430 --> 00:21:23.150
his comedy. His comedy was so good. Man. So anyhow,

00:21:23.309 --> 00:21:26.970
he could have done it. But anyhow. All right.

00:21:26.990 --> 00:21:32.009
So I'm like 16 minutes, 17 minutes into this

00:21:32.009 --> 00:21:33.430
bitch. You got something you want to go for,

00:21:33.490 --> 00:21:37.190
Rob? Yeah, I do. All right. And like always,

00:21:37.309 --> 00:21:43.000
I have two pages left. So go ahead. A decades

00:21:43.000 --> 00:21:46.400
-long project to open the world's largest wildlife

00:21:46.400 --> 00:21:52.059
crossing across a 10 -lane Southern California

00:21:52.059 --> 00:21:57.119
freeway is almost complete. The Wallace -Annenberg

00:21:57.119 --> 00:22:01.299
Crossing links critical habitats on both sides

00:22:01.299 --> 00:22:04.740
of the 101 freeway in the Santa Monica Mountains,

00:22:05.059 --> 00:22:11.799
about 10 miles north of Malibu. Excellent. The

00:22:11.799 --> 00:22:15.359
freeway and nearby development have essentially

00:22:15.359 --> 00:22:21.359
trapped populations of cougars, mule deer, bobcats,

00:22:21.599 --> 00:22:25.200
and desert cottontail rabbits on either side,

00:22:25.359 --> 00:22:29.200
putting them at risk for birth defects and decreasing

00:22:29.200 --> 00:22:34.140
their habitat. Oh, wow. Yeah. When completed

00:22:34.140 --> 00:22:37.839
next year, the overpass will allow all manner

00:22:37.839 --> 00:22:41.319
of wildlife to freely cross over. one of the

00:22:41.319 --> 00:22:45.000
nation's busiest highways, blissfully unaware

00:22:45.000 --> 00:22:48.099
of the thousands of vehicles speeding underneath.

00:22:48.619 --> 00:22:51.980
It's the world's largest crossing of its type,

00:22:52.059 --> 00:22:55.920
according to the Annenberg Foundation. A major

00:22:55.920 --> 00:22:58.599
milestone was reached this week when workers

00:22:58.599 --> 00:23:03.640
began pouring what will eventually be 6 ,000

00:23:03.640 --> 00:23:08.799
cubic yards of soil on top of the overpass. Crews

00:23:08.799 --> 00:23:12.480
will begin planting close to 5 ,000 native plants

00:23:12.480 --> 00:23:17.519
in May. A bridge was first proposed for the area

00:23:17.519 --> 00:23:22.779
in 1990. Funding efforts began in 2014 and construction

00:23:22.779 --> 00:23:29.140
began in 2022. To create a pathway, the project

00:23:29.140 --> 00:23:34.339
features a gently sloping overpass that is 165

00:23:34.339 --> 00:23:39.910
feet wide and 200 feet long. It is designed to

00:23:39.910 --> 00:23:44.690
look like natural habitat and will be landscaped

00:23:44.690 --> 00:23:49.829
with native plants, a living garden, and will

00:23:49.829 --> 00:23:55.049
entice animals to cross where it's safe. I love

00:23:55.049 --> 00:23:58.250
that. I love that idea. That is cool, man. Yeah,

00:23:58.269 --> 00:24:00.690
it is. I'm glad that people are thinking about

00:24:00.690 --> 00:24:06.319
stuff like that because I, you know... I think

00:24:06.319 --> 00:24:10.180
I like animals better than most people. Well,

00:24:10.279 --> 00:24:16.180
it did cost nearly $100 million. Well, okay.

00:24:16.259 --> 00:24:19.359
It's a lot of money, but I don't know. I'm like

00:24:19.359 --> 00:24:21.640
you. In my mind, I think it's worth it. I do,

00:24:21.759 --> 00:24:25.960
too. Yeah. You know, look, animals, they can't

00:24:25.960 --> 00:24:28.900
help that we're here and hogging everything up.

00:24:29.220 --> 00:24:33.269
You know, it's just like we have coyotes. We

00:24:33.269 --> 00:24:36.490
have deer. We have all kinds of wildlife all

00:24:36.490 --> 00:24:40.130
around us because we're on the extreme southern

00:24:40.130 --> 00:24:43.849
edge of Kansas City, okay? So there's a lot of

00:24:43.849 --> 00:24:47.150
woods around here in the Blue River. Now they

00:24:47.150 --> 00:24:51.609
keep building more and more complexes, and the

00:24:51.609 --> 00:24:56.250
coyotes and all the habitat, the natural habitat,

00:24:56.549 --> 00:24:59.660
their places to live are shrinking. And then

00:24:59.660 --> 00:25:01.119
people are getting mad at them because they're

00:25:01.119 --> 00:25:02.799
stealing their chickens. It's like, well, you

00:25:02.799 --> 00:25:05.380
know what? That's what they do. They're coyotes.

00:25:05.420 --> 00:25:07.799
They're hungry. They see a chicken. They eat

00:25:07.799 --> 00:25:12.319
it. That's what they do in the wild. OK, so for

00:25:12.319 --> 00:25:15.059
us to like, you know, we're pretty much just

00:25:15.059 --> 00:25:17.740
like scooting them out of off of the earth. I'm

00:25:17.740 --> 00:25:19.779
glad that people are thinking of animals because

00:25:19.779 --> 00:25:23.460
really, honestly, look, I mean, if you really

00:25:23.460 --> 00:25:25.539
want to really think about it, I mean, it's not

00:25:25.539 --> 00:25:28.700
that big of a deal, really. to do something like

00:25:28.700 --> 00:25:31.279
that to help animals, in my opinion. And it sounds

00:25:31.279 --> 00:25:36.200
like you think so too, right? Yeah, yeah. Okay.

00:25:36.440 --> 00:25:38.799
It's only taken three years of construction,

00:25:39.099 --> 00:25:41.579
which ain't bad. No, that's not bad for what

00:25:41.579 --> 00:25:45.140
they did. I mean, it's really a sophisticated

00:25:45.140 --> 00:25:49.039
complex. Really, that's something they really

00:25:49.039 --> 00:25:50.859
ought to talk about a little bit more, I think.

00:25:50.900 --> 00:25:53.059
I'm glad you found that story. Thank you, Rob.

00:25:53.480 --> 00:25:57.460
Yeah, I am too. Alright, you want to get to some

00:25:57.460 --> 00:26:01.119
emails after the break? Yeah, sounds good. Alright,

00:26:01.299 --> 00:26:09.740
we'll be right back. Hey there, fuckstick. You're

00:26:09.740 --> 00:26:11.940
just in time for brand new feature news nobody

00:26:11.940 --> 00:26:15.519
gives a shit about. A belly dancer in Spain.

00:26:16.380 --> 00:26:19.720
Belly danced for 48 hours, beating the old world

00:26:19.720 --> 00:26:25.539
record by 5 hours. Two bush bags and microphone

00:26:25.539 --> 00:26:29.019
in an effort to keep everything fresh. We offer

00:26:29.019 --> 00:26:36.200
you... First world problems. Oh shit! Look at

00:26:36.200 --> 00:26:39.640
that drive -thru wine! Surely you don't expect

00:26:39.640 --> 00:26:48.779
me to actually have to go in? This sucks. The

00:26:48.779 --> 00:26:51.980
apocalypse just happened. You don't know what

00:26:51.980 --> 00:26:55.349
to do. You don't know where to go, but we can

00:26:55.349 --> 00:27:01.049
tell you what you can eat. Ground ivy is a persistent

00:27:01.049 --> 00:27:03.950
ground cover that often escapes death by lawnmowers

00:27:03.950 --> 00:27:06.710
due to its low profile. It spreads by sending

00:27:06.710 --> 00:27:09.990
out roots from its nodes and can colonize an

00:27:09.990 --> 00:27:12.950
area quickly. Ground ivy is in the mint family

00:27:12.950 --> 00:27:15.890
so it has square stems which help identify it.

00:27:16.190 --> 00:27:18.190
Although it's a mint, it's probably not something

00:27:18.190 --> 00:27:20.450
you would chew on for that refreshing, tingly

00:27:20.450 --> 00:27:24.829
taste that other mints impart. Use young shoots

00:27:24.829 --> 00:27:28.369
and leaves in salads or cooked, but be sure to

00:27:28.369 --> 00:27:30.849
taste before adding too much since it has a strong

00:27:30.849 --> 00:27:33.789
flavor that may not go over well in a large quantity.

00:27:42.000 --> 00:27:44.700
Harambe does not listen to our original show,

00:27:44.839 --> 00:27:47.160
Two Dipshits and a Cheap Radio Shack Realistic

00:27:47.160 --> 00:27:50.779
Tape Recorder anymore. You might ask why Harambe

00:27:50.779 --> 00:27:53.240
never listens to our original show, Two Dipshits

00:27:53.240 --> 00:27:55.480
and a Cheap Radio Shack Realistic Tape Recorder.

00:27:56.019 --> 00:27:59.500
Well, it's because Harambe is dead. Senselessly

00:27:59.500 --> 00:28:01.420
murdered because some idiot did not watch her

00:28:01.420 --> 00:28:04.420
child properly while looking on her phone. Sadly,

00:28:04.539 --> 00:28:06.539
Harambe does not listen to our original show,

00:28:06.640 --> 00:28:08.779
Two Dipshits and a Cheap Radio Shack Realistic

00:28:08.779 --> 00:28:13.259
Tape Recorder or any other show. Sorry, Harambe.

00:28:14.980 --> 00:28:20.700
Strange, but true. Andras Toma was the last World

00:28:20.700 --> 00:28:24.279
War II prisoner of war to be released. Toma was

00:28:24.279 --> 00:28:28.240
captured in 1945. He was later locked up in an

00:28:28.240 --> 00:28:31.039
insane asylum for speaking gibberish. However,

00:28:31.319 --> 00:28:34.259
in 2000, he was accidentally discovered by a

00:28:34.259 --> 00:28:37.000
Slavic who recognized he was actually speaking

00:28:37.000 --> 00:28:40.519
Hungarian. After nearly 60 years, Thelma was

00:28:40.519 --> 00:28:42.880
successfully identified and finally returned

00:28:42.880 --> 00:28:49.680
home in 2000. Our constant pursuit for a real

00:28:49.680 --> 00:28:53.140
knee slapper. It's strange insults from an alien.

00:28:53.500 --> 00:29:00.579
Real hilarity. I would have wished you that my

00:29:00.579 --> 00:29:06.559
mom told me to not burn trash for me to eat it.

00:29:15.880 --> 00:29:18.779
Oh, Lord. That man just sawed a puppy in half.

00:29:19.099 --> 00:29:22.180
Hey there. Don't worry. I have a clown nose.

00:29:26.160 --> 00:29:31.859
Oh, no. That drunk guy just hit my child. It's

00:29:31.859 --> 00:29:47.529
okay. I have a clown nose. Clown noses are sold

00:29:47.529 --> 00:29:49.069
at keg stores online and pedophile conventions.

00:29:49.269 --> 00:29:51.589
Grab one today and make magic happen. Tomorrow

00:29:51.589 --> 00:29:53.809
morning while grinding your coffee beans for

00:29:53.809 --> 00:29:56.470
your double mocha latte, remember to not get

00:29:56.470 --> 00:29:59.329
your genitals caught in the grinder. It really

00:29:59.329 --> 00:30:03.650
hurts. Who can afford plastic surgery? Stay safe,

00:30:03.650 --> 00:30:17.490
everyone. Two douchebags microphone. I'm Mark

00:30:17.490 --> 00:30:19.690
in the Kansas City chapter of this here podcast.

00:30:21.210 --> 00:30:25.289
And I am Ron at the beautiful Niagara and Lake

00:30:25.289 --> 00:30:30.990
of the Oceans. All right. Cool. We got some emails.

00:30:31.450 --> 00:30:35.430
First off, Johnny in OP has been busy. He wrote

00:30:35.430 --> 00:30:39.990
me two emails this time. The first one, Mark.

00:30:41.329 --> 00:30:45.380
Llamas! Exclamation point. I know what he's talking

00:30:45.380 --> 00:30:47.460
about, and I'll tell you. It's another famous

00:30:47.460 --> 00:30:51.059
story. Johnny knows because he was around. The

00:30:51.059 --> 00:30:53.500
llama story with me and Davey. Did I ever tell

00:30:53.500 --> 00:30:57.079
you that one, Rob? I don't think you did. Okay.

00:30:57.480 --> 00:31:02.759
After we do your story, after the emails, I'll

00:31:02.759 --> 00:31:06.420
go into it. All right? Try to remind me. Okay?

00:31:07.789 --> 00:31:11.230
All right. So, yeah, Johnny, we plan on telling

00:31:11.230 --> 00:31:13.109
that story. Thank you. I'd forgotten all about

00:31:13.109 --> 00:31:15.369
it. But, man, I remember it well. It was crazy.

00:31:15.890 --> 00:31:19.650
So, all right. First one. Hey, D -Bags. I was

00:31:19.650 --> 00:31:22.210
called asshole way before the show. What a coincidence.

00:31:23.569 --> 00:31:25.769
Mitch had his lake house on the shore of the

00:31:25.769 --> 00:31:31.450
beautiful Freeman Lake Massey Creek arm. Hey,

00:31:31.450 --> 00:31:38.529
that is true. First off. Yeah, we took it from

00:31:38.529 --> 00:31:40.470
you, Mitch, being called assholes. That's what

00:31:40.470 --> 00:31:44.589
we named our fans after, is you, assholes. And

00:31:44.589 --> 00:31:49.210
second off, the beautiful Freeman Lake, let's

00:31:49.210 --> 00:31:52.390
see, it says, Mitch at his lake house on the

00:31:52.390 --> 00:31:54.670
shore of the beautiful Freeman Lake, Massey Creek

00:31:54.670 --> 00:32:00.250
Arm. I think he's making fun of you, Rob. Probably.

00:32:00.450 --> 00:32:03.869
Yep. Sounds like it. Yep, yep. Mitch, you got

00:32:03.869 --> 00:32:06.079
one strike against you. Ronnie's still in the

00:32:06.079 --> 00:32:10.799
lead. Sorry. You're striving. You're making strives.

00:32:11.599 --> 00:32:14.259
No, actually, I think that's a pretty funny email,

00:32:14.299 --> 00:32:17.940
really. Yeah, I do, too. Yep. Mitch, you're still

00:32:17.940 --> 00:32:21.859
in there. Thank you. All right. Mark, could you

00:32:21.859 --> 00:32:24.400
start checking the podcast before you drop them?

00:32:24.599 --> 00:32:27.660
Thanks in advance. They can be annoying. Sorry.

00:32:27.900 --> 00:32:30.619
Jerry and Dallas. I don't think you heard it,

00:32:30.660 --> 00:32:32.680
Rob, otherwise you would have texted me. It did

00:32:32.680 --> 00:32:37.619
the voiceovers, you know, how it would echo.

00:32:39.940 --> 00:32:44.019
Okay. I didn't catch that. Well... It only lasted

00:32:44.019 --> 00:32:46.019
until that morning. I put it up that evening,

00:32:46.140 --> 00:32:48.059
late that evening, and I woke up in the morning.

00:32:48.079 --> 00:32:50.160
I was on my way to work, and I was like, oh,

00:32:50.240 --> 00:32:52.559
shit, it's doing it again. So when I went to

00:32:52.559 --> 00:32:54.819
work, I deleted the episode because I can do

00:32:54.819 --> 00:32:57.380
that. When I came back home, I cleaned it up.

00:32:57.380 --> 00:32:59.619
I took all the echo off, and it sounds good again,

00:32:59.700 --> 00:33:04.160
and I put it back in. So obviously, Jerry heard

00:33:04.160 --> 00:33:06.940
the first version of it. So, Jerry, I hope that

00:33:06.940 --> 00:33:09.589
you. Realized that I took it off and put another

00:33:09.589 --> 00:33:11.710
one because I put a different title on it when

00:33:11.710 --> 00:33:14.349
I put another one on there So hopefully you realize

00:33:14.349 --> 00:33:16.470
that and you listen to the new one because that

00:33:16.470 --> 00:33:18.650
one was cleaned up and I'm sorry I'm gonna start

00:33:18.650 --> 00:33:21.170
listening to them before I even drop them. I

00:33:21.170 --> 00:33:23.210
guarantee you I'm gonna start listening to them

00:33:23.210 --> 00:33:27.089
I know I know it sucks because it's very annoying

00:33:27.089 --> 00:33:28.849
because you might hear something you like and

00:33:28.849 --> 00:33:32.650
then it just starts getting Echoing like it does.

00:33:33.150 --> 00:33:36.509
All right I'm starting to feel a little pressure

00:33:36.509 --> 00:33:40.289
with Mitch being a regular. Just kidding. I enjoy

00:33:40.289 --> 00:33:43.210
his work as well. What would you and Rob's top

00:33:43.210 --> 00:33:46.549
seven favorite sauces be? Sorry, I didn't get

00:33:46.549 --> 00:33:51.109
a chance to read this. Top seven favorite sauces.

00:33:51.589 --> 00:33:57.029
Okay. Like Heinz 57, I guess, I think. Is that

00:33:57.029 --> 00:34:00.910
the way you took that? Yeah, I'm guessing any

00:34:00.910 --> 00:34:04.539
kind of sauce. Okay. Ronnie, if it's any different,

00:34:04.640 --> 00:34:08.519
email me. But we're taking it as like Heinz 57

00:34:08.519 --> 00:34:11.539
and Worcestershire or something like that. So,

00:34:11.619 --> 00:34:14.760
okay. Ronnie in Tulsa, Tulsa King. Here's his

00:34:14.760 --> 00:34:19.440
concert list. Number seven, Molly Hatchet in

00:34:19.440 --> 00:34:23.119
the Tulsa Theater. I bet that was good. I've

00:34:23.119 --> 00:34:26.420
been to the Tulsa Theater. It's not that big.

00:34:26.719 --> 00:34:30.460
I would say it is about the size of Uptown Theater.

00:34:30.699 --> 00:34:35.340
It's a beautiful theater, too. Number six, Boston

00:34:35.340 --> 00:34:38.500
and Kansas City at the Old Kemper Arena. I bet

00:34:38.500 --> 00:34:43.099
that was good. Yeah. Number five, Robert Plant

00:34:43.099 --> 00:34:45.539
in Oklahoma City at the Bricktown Ballroom. Oh,

00:34:45.619 --> 00:34:48.300
man, I love the Bricktown Ballroom. Have you

00:34:48.300 --> 00:34:51.880
ever been there? No, I have not. Oh, I don't

00:34:51.880 --> 00:34:54.179
think it's there anymore. But it is beautiful.

00:34:54.300 --> 00:34:58.179
It's in Bricktown, and it is a nice venue. Number

00:34:58.179 --> 00:35:03.889
four, Nine Inch Nails at Sandstone. Number three,

00:35:04.070 --> 00:35:06.869
Black Sabbath with Dio at the American Arena

00:35:06.869 --> 00:35:12.750
in Wichita. I guess back then there was American

00:35:12.750 --> 00:35:15.369
Arena. I don't know if it's still there or if

00:35:15.369 --> 00:35:17.130
it changed names. I don't think there's an American

00:35:17.130 --> 00:35:22.110
Arena now there. Number two, Journey at Sandstone,

00:35:22.289 --> 00:35:28.329
1997. And number one, White Snake at the Tulsa

00:35:28.329 --> 00:35:31.550
Theater in 2004. You had to have been there.

00:35:33.199 --> 00:35:35.400
Okay. I like that list. I'm taking your word

00:35:35.400 --> 00:35:38.559
for it. I'm taking his word for it. Ronnie hasn't

00:35:38.559 --> 00:35:41.139
been wrong on anything that we know of, so I'm

00:35:41.139 --> 00:35:43.159
going to go ahead and say that that was a great

00:35:43.159 --> 00:35:49.260
concert. I trust him. Next one. Do you have a

00:35:49.260 --> 00:35:51.559
timeline for YouTubing? I would love to watch

00:35:51.559 --> 00:36:00.019
the show. Alley in Minneapolis. No? I mean...

00:36:01.409 --> 00:36:04.449
Rob and I have been extremely busy, and whenever

00:36:04.449 --> 00:36:07.550
I'm not busy, I've been making up new promos,

00:36:07.550 --> 00:36:09.630
like the newest one that I like, the new segment

00:36:09.630 --> 00:36:12.789
that I like is The Drink of the Week. Did I put

00:36:12.789 --> 00:36:17.230
that on the last podcast or not? Yeah, I think

00:36:17.230 --> 00:36:21.130
it is on there. Okay. Well, I'm coming up with

00:36:21.130 --> 00:36:25.360
new segments. And other ones, this one that's

00:36:25.360 --> 00:36:27.800
kind of a puzzle one that you put together. It's

00:36:27.800 --> 00:36:29.460
going to be interesting because it's going to

00:36:29.460 --> 00:36:31.960
be a segment of a few of them that you listen

00:36:31.960 --> 00:36:34.239
over duration and you have to put it together.

00:36:34.760 --> 00:36:36.760
I'm pretty proud of it. I don't think anything

00:36:36.760 --> 00:36:39.380
like that has been done in this type of a venue

00:36:39.380 --> 00:36:43.159
ever before. And I'm coming up with new stuff

00:36:43.159 --> 00:36:45.500
like that. But I know we got to do the YouTube

00:36:45.500 --> 00:36:47.440
thing and I'm coming up with some logistics.

00:36:47.860 --> 00:36:52.500
I'm still working on my studio here. because

00:36:52.500 --> 00:36:55.159
I don't want to do it until it's absolutely right.

00:36:55.380 --> 00:36:57.719
I want it to be everything, and I want, like,

00:36:57.780 --> 00:37:00.139
some of the remote -controlled color lights and

00:37:00.139 --> 00:37:03.400
laser lights I want, I have to hook up on the

00:37:03.400 --> 00:37:06.960
ceiling and from the floor up, because when I

00:37:06.960 --> 00:37:09.179
do this, I want it to look the way I want it

00:37:09.179 --> 00:37:11.320
to look. I want people to get on there and go,

00:37:11.360 --> 00:37:15.599
wow. And so it takes a little while to come up

00:37:15.599 --> 00:37:19.119
with all this, working a full -time job, family

00:37:19.119 --> 00:37:22.510
events. you know, vacations, all of this stuff.

00:37:22.989 --> 00:37:26.030
So believe me, Rob, are we trying to YouTube?

00:37:29.710 --> 00:37:33.710
Eventually. Yeah. Yes. I appreciate the interest,

00:37:33.789 --> 00:37:36.849
but I get so many of these. So I chose Allie

00:37:36.849 --> 00:37:39.090
Minneapolis just to talk about this one more

00:37:39.090 --> 00:37:42.309
time. Yes. And Allie, we appreciate you. Thank

00:37:42.309 --> 00:37:45.789
you for listening to this horrible show. And

00:37:45.789 --> 00:37:48.969
we are going to YouTube. I don't have a timeline,

00:37:49.110 --> 00:37:50.929
no, but we're going to try to do it as soon as

00:37:50.929 --> 00:37:55.010
possible. So, and Allie is not the only one.

00:37:55.050 --> 00:37:56.909
I've had quite a few of them that say, hey, we

00:37:56.909 --> 00:38:00.110
want the YouTube. So we will do it. But also,

00:38:00.210 --> 00:38:03.110
I don't just want a YouTube. I want to do Facebook

00:38:03.110 --> 00:38:05.889
too. You know how many people listen to Facebook

00:38:05.889 --> 00:38:13.579
podcasts live? A lot of people do. And I want

00:38:13.579 --> 00:38:17.219
it to where they go to our page, Two Deuce Bags,

00:38:17.219 --> 00:38:20.079
a microphone page. And right there is our live

00:38:20.079 --> 00:38:24.280
feed. And then whenever it's done, it is quarantined

00:38:24.280 --> 00:38:27.820
there. And you can go there and you can rewatch

00:38:27.820 --> 00:38:32.039
it from that, from that page anytime you want.

00:38:32.519 --> 00:38:34.500
Let's say you missed some of it and you only

00:38:34.500 --> 00:38:37.039
got to listen 20 minutes of it. That night you're

00:38:37.039 --> 00:38:38.760
going home and you're like, oh, I wanted to hear

00:38:38.760 --> 00:38:40.860
that one segment they were talking about. You

00:38:40.860 --> 00:38:43.719
can go back on that Facebook page, click on it,

00:38:43.739 --> 00:38:46.639
and watch it like that. Because I watch Bubba

00:38:46.639 --> 00:38:49.139
the Love Sponge like that sometimes. And it's

00:38:49.139 --> 00:38:51.780
easy because it's just right on Facebook and

00:38:51.780 --> 00:38:53.559
they don't really advertise on there either.

00:38:54.650 --> 00:38:57.010
other venues do where you keep having advertisements

00:38:57.010 --> 00:39:00.170
interrupted it's fairly advertiser free i think

00:39:00.170 --> 00:39:02.190
you get like maybe an ad at the first and one

00:39:02.190 --> 00:39:05.769
at the last and that's about it so um so i want

00:39:05.769 --> 00:39:07.889
to do that and i want to do youtube and youtube's

00:39:07.889 --> 00:39:10.329
the same thing get a you get an ad at first and

00:39:10.329 --> 00:39:13.829
then it goes on so all right and then finally

00:39:13.829 --> 00:39:16.429
mark this is johnny and op once again mark do

00:39:16.429 --> 00:39:18.750
you script the opening talk segment i'm just

00:39:18.750 --> 00:39:24.269
curious no um bullet points Sometimes I'll write

00:39:24.269 --> 00:39:26.349
out a sentence, but usually I ignore it because

00:39:26.349 --> 00:39:28.989
I think it's something better to say on the fly.

00:39:29.670 --> 00:39:33.409
So, no, really not scripted. What about you,

00:39:33.429 --> 00:39:35.329
Rob? I don't think you do either. You just take

00:39:35.329 --> 00:39:37.190
a story and you kind of make it yours, don't

00:39:37.190 --> 00:39:41.150
you? Yeah, that's about all I do, yeah. Yeah,

00:39:41.150 --> 00:39:42.989
and I believe that's the way to do it. You know,

00:39:43.010 --> 00:39:45.369
you have your bullet points that you want to

00:39:45.369 --> 00:39:48.449
really say and get the point across, but everything

00:39:48.449 --> 00:39:50.250
else just got to kind of be your personality,

00:39:50.530 --> 00:39:54.050
you know? a smart ass making fun of it, whatever,

00:39:54.150 --> 00:39:56.949
or if it's a serious thing, whatever it is, it's

00:39:56.949 --> 00:39:59.309
got to be your personality because look, I mean,

00:39:59.309 --> 00:40:02.130
at the end of the day, people either like or

00:40:02.130 --> 00:40:04.610
hate your personality and people like it are

00:40:04.610 --> 00:40:07.130
going to listen to people that don't won't. That's

00:40:07.130 --> 00:40:12.469
it. So, yeah, Rob, that is the end of the emails.

00:40:13.929 --> 00:40:20.440
We turn to you. Michael Jackson's close companion

00:40:20.440 --> 00:40:25.139
of over a decade has turned 42 years old. His

00:40:25.139 --> 00:40:29.760
infamous pet chimpanzee, Bubbles. Bubbles is

00:40:29.760 --> 00:40:37.719
still alive? Yeah. He's just turned 42. Wow.

00:40:37.780 --> 00:40:41.940
He outlived Michael. Yeah. Bubbles captured the

00:40:41.940 --> 00:40:45.000
hearts of fans when he was frequently seen being

00:40:45.000 --> 00:40:48.980
toted around by the King of Pop. in extravagant

00:40:48.980 --> 00:40:52.659
outfits. But he also found himself at the center

00:40:52.659 --> 00:40:56.099
of scandals, including mauling a young Rashida

00:40:56.099 --> 00:41:01.940
Jones and contemplating suicide when he was transferred

00:41:01.940 --> 00:41:08.300
from Beverly Ranch to a Florida sanctuary. How

00:41:08.300 --> 00:41:10.900
did they know he was... That's what I was getting

00:41:10.900 --> 00:41:14.900
ready to ask. They're just... They're assuming

00:41:14.900 --> 00:41:20.480
that. Yeah, yeah. He was probably depressed is

00:41:20.480 --> 00:41:22.480
what it was. Yeah, him and Michael might have

00:41:22.480 --> 00:41:24.760
been really close, yeah. But don't you think

00:41:24.760 --> 00:41:26.699
that a chimpanzee would want to be with other

00:41:26.699 --> 00:41:30.880
ones at a sanctuary in the natural habitat? I

00:41:30.880 --> 00:41:33.460
honestly don't think he was depressed and contemplating

00:41:33.460 --> 00:41:36.219
suicide. I think he was like, oh, good, finally,

00:41:36.440 --> 00:41:38.559
I can go to what I'm supposed to do, swinging

00:41:38.559 --> 00:41:40.820
through trees and eating fucking bananas or whatever.

00:41:41.199 --> 00:41:46.989
You know? But anyhow, go ahead. Jackson's chimp

00:41:46.989 --> 00:41:49.929
lived a pampered life at Neverland, attending

00:41:49.929 --> 00:41:53.230
star -studded events, and even slept in a crib

00:41:53.230 --> 00:41:57.090
in the pop star's bedroom. He once even joined

00:41:57.090 --> 00:42:00.230
the Billie Jean singer for tea with the mayor

00:42:00.230 --> 00:42:05.349
of Osaka when he was on his bad tour. But as

00:42:05.349 --> 00:42:08.010
he aged and grew larger and more aggressive,

00:42:08.230 --> 00:42:11.269
he was transferred to the center of Great Apes

00:42:11.269 --> 00:42:16.980
in Florida in 2005. The sanctuary posted on Instagram

00:42:16.980 --> 00:42:20.280
in celebration of his 20th anniversary at the

00:42:20.280 --> 00:42:24.179
center today. We're celebrating 20 years since

00:42:24.179 --> 00:42:27.059
Bubbles arrived at the center for Great Apes.

00:42:28.079 --> 00:42:32.599
And since we don't know his exact birthday, we're

00:42:32.599 --> 00:42:36.940
also celebrating his 42nd birthday today. Bubbles

00:42:36.940 --> 00:42:39.880
has truly thrived at the sanctuary and joined

00:42:39.880 --> 00:42:45.039
the simple joys of being a chimpanzee. Climbing,

00:42:45.079 --> 00:42:48.000
foraging, and spending time with his chimpanzee

00:42:48.000 --> 00:42:53.619
friends. Cool. It does go on to say he was born

00:42:53.619 --> 00:43:00.400
in a biomedical lab. He was? Yeah. And then he

00:43:00.400 --> 00:43:04.539
was raised in the entertainment industry. Okay.

00:43:04.539 --> 00:43:08.019
Well, he was born in a biomedical lab. Maybe

00:43:08.019 --> 00:43:11.480
he's... Doesn't know his natural habitat then,

00:43:11.579 --> 00:43:13.619
like I thought. I don't know. I don't know how

00:43:13.619 --> 00:43:16.440
that works. Well, he does now. He does now. Sounds

00:43:16.440 --> 00:43:18.960
like he took to it good. Yeah, I bet he's out

00:43:18.960 --> 00:43:21.780
swinging on ropes and shit and threatening people

00:43:21.780 --> 00:43:25.960
with his poop, right? Yeah. Hell yeah. The fun

00:43:25.960 --> 00:43:28.940
things that chimpanzees like to do. Throw poop,

00:43:29.260 --> 00:43:32.699
fly through the air, and make faces at people.

00:43:33.659 --> 00:43:38.039
I wish I was a chimpanzee. What about you? Oh,

00:43:38.039 --> 00:43:39.840
I'd love to be. Oh, hell yeah. I'd throw poop

00:43:39.840 --> 00:43:42.380
at everybody. You know, and I don't care, like,

00:43:42.420 --> 00:43:44.539
President, the Pope, whoever. I would throw my

00:43:44.539 --> 00:43:47.179
poop at them because I was a chimpanzee and I'd

00:43:47.179 --> 00:43:51.039
get away with it, right? Yep. Yeah, hell yeah.

00:43:51.179 --> 00:43:54.099
All right. Well, we're not chimpanzees, so we

00:43:54.099 --> 00:43:56.519
cannot throw our poop at people. I mean, we could,

00:43:56.639 --> 00:44:01.099
but we'd get in trouble. All right. Let's see.

00:44:01.179 --> 00:44:03.440
You know what? We'll go to our next break in

00:44:03.440 --> 00:44:08.190
a little bit. But Zach Wild. He recalls his most

00:44:08.190 --> 00:44:11.769
wholesome moment with Ozzy, but I don't know

00:44:11.769 --> 00:44:16.110
how wholesome it is. So they asked Zach about

00:44:16.110 --> 00:44:19.150
this, and he said, all right. He goes, I go.

00:44:19.289 --> 00:44:22.489
You're going to get us fired. Sharon's right

00:44:22.489 --> 00:44:24.409
across the hall. This is the way the article

00:44:24.409 --> 00:44:27.650
starts out, okay? Zach Wild recalled how he and

00:44:27.650 --> 00:44:29.869
Ozzy Osbourne snuck into the bathroom to drink

00:44:29.869 --> 00:44:32.170
beer together, calling it the most wholesome

00:44:32.170 --> 00:44:34.409
moment he's ever shared with his longtime boss.

00:44:36.139 --> 00:44:40.860
He's calling this wholesome, okay? If the many

00:44:40.860 --> 00:44:43.320
stories of Ozzy's escapades are anything to go

00:44:43.320 --> 00:44:46.460
by, playing, recording, and living on the road

00:44:46.460 --> 00:44:48.500
with the Prince of Darkness may either seem like

00:44:48.500 --> 00:44:50.820
the time of one's life or an absolute nightmare,

00:44:51.119 --> 00:44:54.159
depending on one's appetite for chaos. Of course,

00:44:54.179 --> 00:44:57.019
we would have loved it. However, Zach Wild seems

00:44:57.019 --> 00:44:59.699
to have had a blast during as many years as Ozzy's

00:44:59.699 --> 00:45:05.039
lead axe welder. and has many stories to share

00:45:05.039 --> 00:45:07.539
from these times. The guitarist recounted one

00:45:07.539 --> 00:45:11.199
such antidote during an interview with the Metal

00:45:11.199 --> 00:45:14.320
Hammer magazine online when asked to name the

00:45:14.320 --> 00:45:16.559
most wholesome moment he's ever shared with Ozzy.

00:45:16.619 --> 00:45:19.500
In addition to Ozzy and Zach himself, the episode

00:45:19.500 --> 00:45:24.000
included Zach's emergency bag of beer. So Zach

00:45:24.000 --> 00:45:26.099
carried around before he quit drinking an emergency

00:45:26.099 --> 00:45:30.300
bag of beer, Rob. He used to lug it around on

00:45:30.300 --> 00:45:33.440
tours. So he had this bag of beer in case of

00:45:33.440 --> 00:45:36.039
emergencies and he lugged it around on his tours.

00:45:37.099 --> 00:45:41.619
I love that. What's that? My emergency bag of

00:45:41.619 --> 00:45:46.699
beer. Oh, OK. All right. What's it for? To drink.

00:45:47.179 --> 00:45:50.300
So anyhow, I remember we played at Budokan Arena

00:45:50.300 --> 00:45:53.800
in Tokyo. I'd always had a bag of beer with me

00:45:53.800 --> 00:45:56.599
just in case anywhere we were going, we didn't

00:45:56.599 --> 00:45:59.159
have beer. So he's afraid that a place could

00:45:59.159 --> 00:46:01.869
have been a dry place. So he always had his bag

00:46:01.869 --> 00:46:04.809
of beer with him, which I find remarkable. So

00:46:04.809 --> 00:46:08.090
Oz is in the room after the gig. He goes, Zachy,

00:46:08.090 --> 00:46:11.150
Zachy, got any of those beers? I go, yeah, but

00:46:11.150 --> 00:46:13.409
I'm not giving you one here. You're going to

00:46:13.409 --> 00:46:16.429
get us fired. Mums, who is Sharon Osbourne's,

00:46:16.429 --> 00:46:18.610
right across the hall. She's going to come in

00:46:18.610 --> 00:46:20.610
and see the two of us drinking. Is that going

00:46:20.610 --> 00:46:23.389
to be good? No. I'll get fired and you'll get

00:46:23.389 --> 00:46:27.389
put in timeout. So he goes, all right. Tell you

00:46:27.389 --> 00:46:30.639
what. This is what Ozzy says. I'll meet you in

00:46:30.639 --> 00:46:33.519
the bathroom. So I go in the bathroom. I'm waiting.

00:46:33.659 --> 00:46:36.139
All of a sudden, I hear the door open. He comes

00:46:36.139 --> 00:46:38.980
into the stall right next to me. And I push a

00:46:38.980 --> 00:46:41.880
Kirin, which is a beer. It's a Japanese beer

00:46:41.880 --> 00:46:45.659
underneath the stall. I hear it go and open the

00:46:45.659 --> 00:46:49.519
can. Then glug, glug, glug. He downs one. Then

00:46:49.519 --> 00:46:51.920
I put down one. Then he downs one. Then I down

00:46:51.920 --> 00:46:55.820
one. We're like a couple of naughty school kids.

00:46:55.980 --> 00:47:00.860
It was hilarious. Isn't that awesome? Yeah, because

00:47:00.860 --> 00:47:03.099
Sharon had a hell of a time keeping Ozzy under

00:47:03.099 --> 00:47:05.980
corral because I'm going to read some more stories

00:47:05.980 --> 00:47:09.880
like Brad Gillis had some great stories. I love

00:47:09.880 --> 00:47:13.079
how he said that Ozzy would be grounded. I know.

00:47:13.239 --> 00:47:17.780
Yes. And he would be fired because I guess Sharon

00:47:17.780 --> 00:47:22.480
said, if you let my husband drink because you

00:47:22.480 --> 00:47:24.619
drink, you're fired. So he's like, man, dude,

00:47:24.739 --> 00:47:26.480
you're going to get me fired. Come on now. You'll

00:47:26.480 --> 00:47:29.800
get put in timeout. Let's thank this. So they

00:47:29.800 --> 00:47:32.960
went into the shitter and they shared the beer.

00:47:36.420 --> 00:47:43.860
I love that. That is sticking to your guns. That

00:47:43.860 --> 00:47:47.579
is ingenuity. That is finding a way through your

00:47:47.579 --> 00:47:52.539
problem, right? Yep. It's like, I can't drink

00:47:52.539 --> 00:47:55.289
because of the wife. You know what? I'm going

00:47:55.289 --> 00:47:57.530
to find a way to do it. And he did it. So, Ozzy,

00:47:57.610 --> 00:48:00.289
love you. Great idea. Sounds like it worked.

00:48:01.530 --> 00:48:04.389
Let's take our second break and come right back.

00:48:05.889 --> 00:48:11.070
Sounds good. All right. Sounds good. Yes, it's

00:48:11.070 --> 00:48:14.289
true. Mark is an old bastard. It's also true

00:48:14.289 --> 00:48:17.769
that Mark uses a lot of ibuprofen. But Mark would

00:48:17.769 --> 00:48:20.690
like to tell you, if you see any pictures of

00:48:20.690 --> 00:48:24.380
him proofing ibuprofen, It's obviously fake,

00:48:24.539 --> 00:48:26.300
and you're to take the pictures and tear them

00:48:26.300 --> 00:48:30.579
up immediately. Next up, things overheard in

00:48:30.579 --> 00:48:34.940
hell. Hurry up. Kim Jong -un is playing Santa

00:48:34.940 --> 00:48:39.139
at the mall again this year. Yay! Once again,

00:48:39.179 --> 00:48:46.380
it's time for Ramblings of a Madman. I believe

00:48:46.380 --> 00:48:51.199
Congress needs to synchronize tap dance for 20

00:48:51.199 --> 00:48:56.420
minutes. Before each session. That needs to happen.

00:48:57.739 --> 00:49:02.559
Oh shit. What's that over there? Oh no. It's

00:49:02.559 --> 00:49:10.719
the island of horrible jokes. A panic stricken

00:49:10.719 --> 00:49:13.460
man explained to his doctor. You have to help

00:49:13.460 --> 00:49:17.159
me. I'm shrinking. The doctor said I will. You

00:49:17.159 --> 00:49:29.039
have to be a little patient. This is a voice

00:49:29.039 --> 00:49:31.219
guide from your favorite podcast, Two Douchebags

00:49:31.219 --> 00:49:34.300
and a Microphone. People often ask us how they

00:49:34.300 --> 00:49:37.260
can find us when doing a remote broadcast. One,

00:49:37.360 --> 00:49:40.960
smell. Go to the city market and start sniffing.

00:49:41.139 --> 00:49:43.659
Our aroma has been described as a mixture of

00:49:43.659 --> 00:49:46.360
flea powder for goats, Tabasco sauce, and old

00:49:46.360 --> 00:49:50.880
sock with dark fuzzy urine. Two, look for the

00:49:50.880 --> 00:49:54.679
spot absent of patrons. Three, the most telling

00:49:54.679 --> 00:49:57.539
sign is a crowd of patrons vomiting uncontrollably.

00:49:58.119 --> 00:50:05.139
4. Just call us at 816 -512 -7717. Your mama's

00:50:05.139 --> 00:50:08.179
so stupid, she thought lightsabers were less

00:50:08.179 --> 00:50:12.480
calories. Introducing Rob Rad's new book, How

00:50:12.480 --> 00:50:15.460
to Track Your Enemy by Scent. That's right, smell

00:50:15.460 --> 00:50:18.559
your enemy before they get you. Order this gem

00:50:18.559 --> 00:50:20.699
now and get a free virtual tour of Rob's secret

00:50:20.699 --> 00:50:23.639
bunker in Camderton, Missouri. Also receive a

00:50:23.639 --> 00:50:26.500
free copy of his new book, How to Clean Raw Sewage

00:50:26.500 --> 00:50:32.230
for Food. Have you ever wondered what something

00:50:32.230 --> 00:50:34.489
came about? Have you ever looked at something

00:50:34.489 --> 00:50:36.630
and said, Hey, I wonder what the origin of that

00:50:36.630 --> 00:50:40.309
is? Well, so have we. That's why we give you

00:50:40.309 --> 00:50:45.289
The Origin Of. This is the origin of eyeliner.

00:50:45.610 --> 00:50:48.050
Eyeliner originated in ancient Egypt and it's

00:50:48.050 --> 00:50:50.289
been used for thousands of years across cultures

00:50:50.289 --> 00:50:53.769
and chad young men from nomadic clans wore kohl

00:50:53.769 --> 00:50:57.840
eyeliner to attract wives. Indian Katali. Dancers

00:50:57.840 --> 00:51:00.340
wore kajal to tell stories through their eyes.

00:51:00.500 --> 00:51:03.960
In Iran, women use eyeliner as a symbol of resistance.

00:51:05.199 --> 00:51:07.639
Please remember to go to Cole's dressing room,

00:51:07.739 --> 00:51:10.500
wait five minutes, and scream, Hey, there's no

00:51:10.500 --> 00:51:18.400
toilet paper in here! Now it's time for Pick

00:51:18.400 --> 00:51:22.099
Up Lines from a Loser. Are you a banana? You

00:51:22.099 --> 00:51:42.440
look appealing. Hello and welcome to Two Deuce

00:51:42.440 --> 00:51:44.400
Bags and Microphone. This is the Kansas City

00:51:44.400 --> 00:51:49.579
Chapter and my name is Mark. And I am Rob at

00:51:49.579 --> 00:51:55.519
the beautiful Niagara. That's right, it is. Rob,

00:51:55.619 --> 00:52:26.389
we turn to you. the decade. Thanks to two separate

00:52:26.389 --> 00:52:30.230
teams, one in Austria and one in Texas, the idea

00:52:30.230 --> 00:52:35.409
of de -extinction is no longer science fiction.

00:52:35.769 --> 00:52:39.230
Their bold mission to revive the dodo isn't just

00:52:39.230 --> 00:52:42.409
a flashy headline. It's a sign of what may be

00:52:42.409 --> 00:52:45.469
the next great shift in conversation, bringing

00:52:45.469 --> 00:52:50.710
back what was lost. At the Institute of Science

00:52:50.710 --> 00:52:55.039
and Technology, Austria, Evolutionary biologists

00:52:55.039 --> 00:52:58.719
have successfully inserted synthesized dodo DNA

00:52:58.719 --> 00:53:03.119
into a chicken egg, resulting in what could be

00:53:03.119 --> 00:53:08.719
the first dodo embryo in over 300 years. It's

00:53:08.719 --> 00:53:11.599
a moment that rewrites our relationship with

00:53:11.599 --> 00:53:25.980
extinction. Wow. into a living chicken egg. The

00:53:25.980 --> 00:53:28.360
process involved using advanced mathematical

00:53:28.360 --> 00:53:31.920
models, artificial intelligence, and protein

00:53:31.920 --> 00:53:35.280
tracking, drawing inspiration from everything

00:53:35.280 --> 00:53:39.739
from black hole physics to gene regulatory networks.

00:53:40.920 --> 00:53:44.280
Speaking about the dodo, Professor Barton said

00:53:44.280 --> 00:53:47.539
there's always been a lot of mystery around what

00:53:47.539 --> 00:53:51.539
kind of bird the dodo really was and how it lived.

00:54:07.610 --> 00:54:11.590
Pretty undisturbed life until humans showed up

00:54:11.590 --> 00:54:15.409
and quite literally deep fried the species into

00:54:15.409 --> 00:54:20.349
extinction in the late 1600s. Wow. The dodo bird,

00:54:20.449 --> 00:54:24.730
wasn't it the one that was described as or they

00:54:24.730 --> 00:54:27.449
thought of as like a dumb bird that just kind

00:54:27.449 --> 00:54:31.530
of loafed around and was clumsy? Yeah, yeah.

00:54:39.250 --> 00:54:43.050
Okay. Like it's dazed, you know. Yeah, yeah.

00:54:43.710 --> 00:54:46.090
So now they're going to find out what the birds

00:54:46.090 --> 00:54:49.210
really like, it sounds like. They're going to

00:54:49.210 --> 00:54:52.829
try to, yeah. That would be so interesting. Which,

00:54:52.829 --> 00:54:56.969
you know what's next. I know, okay, and that's

00:54:56.969 --> 00:54:58.809
what I was going to get at too, Rob, thank you.

00:55:00.309 --> 00:55:03.469
Okay. You think they're playing God too much?

00:55:06.730 --> 00:55:11.619
Yeah, because I can see dress. I already see

00:55:11.619 --> 00:55:14.380
AI being Terminator and something like this,

00:55:14.420 --> 00:55:18.360
I can see Jurassic Park. Yeah. Look, as cool

00:55:18.360 --> 00:55:24.059
as it sounds to revisit the dodo, how far is

00:55:24.059 --> 00:55:26.420
this going to go? And let's say it's outlawed

00:55:26.420 --> 00:55:29.320
over here. We can't outlaw everywhere. We're

00:55:29.320 --> 00:55:32.300
not everywhere. It could go to some small country

00:55:32.300 --> 00:55:34.000
in the middle of nowhere and they could all go

00:55:34.000 --> 00:55:37.579
there where it's perfectly legal and... bring

00:55:37.579 --> 00:55:43.059
someone back reanimated style this is scary and

00:55:43.059 --> 00:55:46.239
then that would not have a soul so then you're

00:55:46.239 --> 00:55:51.199
going into what would this be like because obviously

00:55:51.199 --> 00:55:55.659
the DNA and the body wouldn't be the person the

00:55:55.659 --> 00:56:07.980
person is the soul right hmm zombies maybe Yeah,

00:56:07.980 --> 00:56:10.619
it's kind of scary. That's all I've got to say.

00:56:10.719 --> 00:56:15.320
I mean, look, I really do think that they do

00:56:15.320 --> 00:56:17.380
play God a little bit too much, and I think it

00:56:17.380 --> 00:56:20.679
leads to bad things. So, in my opinion, there's

00:56:20.679 --> 00:56:24.760
only one God, and you don't try to act like him

00:56:24.760 --> 00:56:26.940
or nothing. Everything like that is blasphemy,

00:56:27.039 --> 00:56:29.559
and it leads to bad things. So, anyhow, you can

00:56:29.559 --> 00:56:31.059
believe whatever you want. It doesn't matter

00:56:31.059 --> 00:56:34.719
to me, but that's what I think. So, I have a

00:56:34.719 --> 00:56:40.389
new Jeffy X list. Oh, were you done? Okay. Yeah,

00:56:40.489 --> 00:56:43.030
yeah, that's all I have on. Okay. All right.

00:56:43.070 --> 00:56:46.110
Well, I have a new Jeffy X list, and this came

00:56:46.110 --> 00:56:49.369
about because I read an article where they had

00:56:49.369 --> 00:56:54.349
these children's caps. They're like, oh, I don't

00:56:54.349 --> 00:56:57.090
know, like a ski cap or something for infants,

00:56:57.210 --> 00:57:00.010
and they lit up, and it scared the shit out of

00:57:00.010 --> 00:57:03.309
the children. And it scared them so bad that

00:57:03.309 --> 00:57:05.559
they had to can the whole thing. And it was one

00:57:05.559 --> 00:57:07.880
of the toy company makers, I forgot, the ones

00:57:07.880 --> 00:57:11.099
that make clothes and everything. And I forgot

00:57:11.099 --> 00:57:13.159
the name. You can look it up. But anyhow, it

00:57:13.159 --> 00:57:15.780
scared the shit out of the kids so bad that it

00:57:15.780 --> 00:57:18.800
only lasted like three days in testing. And then

00:57:18.800 --> 00:57:20.840
they got rid of all of it. They said, no, this

00:57:20.840 --> 00:57:23.039
is not going to work. I don't know what the lights

00:57:23.039 --> 00:57:25.360
look like. I don't know anything. But evidently,

00:57:25.360 --> 00:57:26.980
it just scared the piss out of the children.

00:57:27.340 --> 00:57:31.119
So Jeffy X has come up with a list of things

00:57:31.119 --> 00:57:35.940
like that that didn't work. like that to a focus

00:57:35.940 --> 00:57:39.699
panel or to testing and they decided that it

00:57:39.699 --> 00:57:42.960
wasn't working and so they got scrapped. So Jeffy

00:57:42.960 --> 00:57:45.480
X is our guy on the inside. He goes in there

00:57:45.480 --> 00:57:48.139
snooping and being a sleuth and he finds these

00:57:48.139 --> 00:57:50.780
stuff and he brings them to us before they catch

00:57:50.780 --> 00:57:55.219
him. Now Jeffy X is very sly but about a year

00:57:55.219 --> 00:57:59.400
ago Rob was nice enough because of Jeffy X and

00:57:59.400 --> 00:58:01.599
all the lists that he gave us risking his life

00:58:01.599 --> 00:58:07.929
to Give him a flying bat suit. A Sgt. Peppers

00:58:07.929 --> 00:58:12.090
outfit, as in the white outfit that the Beatles

00:58:12.090 --> 00:58:17.289
wore on Sgt. Peppers. And a special underwear

00:58:17.289 --> 00:58:20.889
that has an X on the front of it and Jeffy embroidered

00:58:20.889 --> 00:58:24.130
on the back of it. And it even has a Steven Pearcy

00:58:24.130 --> 00:58:25.989
pouch on the front of it to where he could stuff

00:58:25.989 --> 00:58:28.210
a couple of socks. But we're pretty sure Jeffy

00:58:28.210 --> 00:58:30.150
X doesn't need them, don't we? Aren't we pretty

00:58:30.150 --> 00:58:34.059
sure about that, Rob? But just in case you want

00:58:34.059 --> 00:58:36.760
a little added, you know bonus down there He

00:58:36.760 --> 00:58:39.639
does have that Steven Pearcy of the of the glam

00:58:39.639 --> 00:58:42.559
band rats Supposedly used to have a pouch on

00:58:42.559 --> 00:58:44.980
the inside of the spandex That he throw a couple

00:58:44.980 --> 00:58:47.179
of socks in to look a little bit better to females

00:58:47.179 --> 00:58:50.280
and maybe some gay males Well, Rob took that

00:58:50.280 --> 00:58:52.280
fashion and he said, you know, I'm gonna do this

00:58:52.280 --> 00:58:55.059
for Jeffy X. I'm sure he doesn't need it but

00:58:56.139 --> 00:58:58.360
Jeffy X has been wearing the Sgt. Pepper's outfit.

00:58:58.460 --> 00:59:00.760
He's a huge Beatles fan. He hasn't taken it off

00:59:00.760 --> 00:59:04.159
in over a year. It's black now. And, Rob, how

00:59:04.159 --> 00:59:06.719
are you coming on the new Sgt. Pepper's outfit

00:59:06.719 --> 00:59:11.480
you're going to make him? A little slower than

00:59:11.480 --> 00:59:14.880
I'd like to be. I've been, like you mentioned,

00:59:15.360 --> 00:59:17.480
we've been busy lately. Well, I think he's getting

00:59:17.480 --> 00:59:23.639
closer. Oh, sorry. This week, it looks a little...

00:59:24.239 --> 00:59:26.960
I think my schedule's opened up quite a bit.

00:59:27.760 --> 00:59:29.719
Okay, good. I should be able to get some more

00:59:29.719 --> 00:59:32.599
work done on it. Good, because he's in dire need.

00:59:32.679 --> 00:59:34.719
I think he's about getting busted because he

00:59:34.719 --> 00:59:37.199
walks in there with this black suit on that used

00:59:37.199 --> 00:59:39.820
to be white and smelling horrible, but he loves

00:59:39.820 --> 00:59:42.179
that outfit so much he refuses to take it off.

00:59:42.460 --> 00:59:44.380
Matter of fact, when he puts on his flying bat

00:59:44.380 --> 00:59:47.739
suit at night, he leaves the suit on and he puts

00:59:47.739 --> 00:59:53.159
the bat suit over it. So, anyhow. Jeffy X gave

00:59:53.159 --> 00:59:56.800
us this list of items and products that didn't

00:59:56.800 --> 00:59:59.980
work. So the first one were habanero infused

00:59:59.980 --> 01:00:09.199
butt plugs. Didn't work. I can see a slight problem

01:00:09.199 --> 01:00:13.699
with that. You think? The habanero pepper? Yeah,

01:00:13.880 --> 01:00:15.980
you know, I guess so. It probably would probably

01:00:15.980 --> 01:00:19.920
sting, burn. Okay. Okay. All right. If burn's

01:00:19.920 --> 01:00:23.179
coming out, why wouldn't it burn going in? Good

01:00:23.179 --> 01:00:27.219
point. Good point. So the hot narrow infused

01:00:27.219 --> 01:00:30.260
butt plugs is a no -go. It failed all the panels.

01:00:32.159 --> 01:00:36.019
The next one was 989 The Rock's All Music Mornings.

01:00:37.739 --> 01:00:44.269
Flopped. Can you believe that? Yeah, I can believe

01:00:44.269 --> 01:00:48.690
it. Me too. Oh, the next one that flopped is

01:00:48.690 --> 01:00:55.650
a Tommy Lee bath and wash kit. Yeah. Yeah, I

01:00:55.650 --> 01:00:59.710
believe that. I 100 % believe that. And while

01:00:59.710 --> 01:01:06.789
we're on Motley Crue, oh, what did you say? And

01:01:06.789 --> 01:01:09.550
while we're on the middle of that, while we're

01:01:09.550 --> 01:01:13.010
on Motley. Nikki Sixx book on how to make friends.

01:01:13.590 --> 01:01:18.510
Can you believe that didn't go over? I don't

01:01:18.510 --> 01:01:21.429
believe that. I know, I know. Nikki Sixx, you

01:01:21.429 --> 01:01:23.429
know, just winning people over left and right.

01:01:24.210 --> 01:01:27.710
Making people happy. Just everyone joy around

01:01:27.710 --> 01:01:31.769
him. Can't believe it. Somehow, someway, it just

01:01:31.769 --> 01:01:34.190
didn't get past the focus panels. I have no excuse

01:01:34.190 --> 01:01:36.389
for the people that denied it. I have no excuse.

01:01:37.349 --> 01:01:40.800
So, the next one is... Ozzy Osbourne's gymnastics

01:01:40.800 --> 01:01:46.880
video. Too soon? Too soon. Okay, sorry, sorry.

01:01:47.300 --> 01:01:51.559
Look, you can't always hit it perfectly. You

01:01:51.559 --> 01:01:54.579
weren't the one that came up with the idea. That's

01:01:54.579 --> 01:01:57.199
right. I'm just reporting it. I had nothing to

01:01:57.199 --> 01:02:01.420
do with that. Thank you, Rob. The next one, now

01:02:01.420 --> 01:02:04.860
this kind of hurts, Rob. Mark's book on handyman

01:02:04.860 --> 01:02:10.449
repair. Oh, come on. I know, I know. I mean,

01:02:10.449 --> 01:02:13.070
a couple of separated shoulders. I mean, yeah,

01:02:13.130 --> 01:02:16.349
big deal. Everybody gets a separated shoulder,

01:02:16.389 --> 01:02:19.909
right? You actually have some pretty good kitchen.

01:02:20.969 --> 01:02:24.449
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah,

01:02:24.590 --> 01:02:26.369
you know, like don't put all your weight on a

01:02:26.369 --> 01:02:29.690
sledgehammer on a shed that's getting ready to

01:02:29.690 --> 01:02:32.289
fall in anyhow. Don't do that because, you know,

01:02:32.369 --> 01:02:34.469
it'll break through. That's very good information.

01:02:35.179 --> 01:02:37.280
yeah yeah and you'll fall on you know the shoulder

01:02:37.280 --> 01:02:40.079
that you already heard a couple of times so yeah

01:02:40.079 --> 01:02:43.480
yeah you know um who else would report to you

01:02:43.480 --> 01:02:46.360
that i it was my own experience but you know

01:02:46.360 --> 01:02:49.860
what they don't like it okay uh the next one

01:02:49.860 --> 01:02:52.800
that failed was uh blanket pardons from joe biden

01:02:52.800 --> 01:03:03.559
seems so failed too soon Imagine that. Too soon.

01:03:04.059 --> 01:03:10.739
Imagine that. Oh, this next one I love. And finally,

01:03:10.960 --> 01:03:14.079
Gene Simmons training video on weight loss plans.

01:03:18.679 --> 01:03:21.420
Honestly, I can see eye to eye with that one.

01:03:22.340 --> 01:03:25.579
Yes, I can too. I know why no one would buy that.

01:03:26.280 --> 01:03:31.480
Rob. Jeffy X, we thank you. And by the way, I'm

01:03:31.480 --> 01:03:36.539
a simple man. I gave Jeffy X $2 ,500 to either

01:03:36.539 --> 01:03:39.880
spend on blowing hookers or buy something for

01:03:39.880 --> 01:03:45.420
his mom. I let it be his decision. So Rob, he's

01:03:45.420 --> 01:03:47.840
into like doing stuff for him, like, you know,

01:03:47.840 --> 01:03:51.380
embroidering in pants, you know, underwear and

01:03:51.380 --> 01:03:53.980
bat suits and stuff like that. Me, I just give

01:03:53.980 --> 01:03:56.880
him the cash and say whatever. So, Jeffy X, thank

01:03:56.880 --> 01:03:59.260
you. We hope you don't get caught with that suit.

01:03:59.420 --> 01:04:01.460
You smell horrible, and everyone knows you wear

01:04:01.460 --> 01:04:07.119
it now. So, Rob, we turn to you. A woman who

01:04:07.119 --> 01:04:09.820
holds the title for having the world's longest

01:04:09.820 --> 01:04:12.800
tongue has once again grabbed attention for its

01:04:12.800 --> 01:04:18.360
unusual use. Chanel Topper, 34, who has held

01:04:18.360 --> 01:04:21.760
the Guinness World Record for the longest tongue,

01:04:21.980 --> 01:04:26.400
female. since 2010, said her tongue, which measures

01:04:26.400 --> 01:04:32.099
3 .8 inches from the tip of her lips, is great

01:04:32.099 --> 01:04:39.460
for playing Jenga. Understandably, her tongue,

01:04:39.460 --> 01:04:42.900
which wouldn't look out of place in a kiss tribute

01:04:42.900 --> 01:04:47.659
act, is an array of reactions from onlookers.

01:04:47.719 --> 01:04:52.630
In the latest revelation, has bewildered many

01:04:52.630 --> 01:04:56.130
of Chanel's tongue engaging in the popular family

01:04:56.130 --> 01:05:01.170
game on recent social media videos. In the above

01:05:01.170 --> 01:05:04.309
video by Guinness World Records, Chanel showed

01:05:04.309 --> 01:05:07.010
off some of the tricks she can perform with her

01:05:07.010 --> 01:05:11.230
massive mouth muscle, including removing jingle

01:05:11.230 --> 01:05:15.590
blocks. Honestly, the best reaction I could ever

01:05:15.590 --> 01:05:19.030
get when someone sees my tongue is screaming.

01:05:19.920 --> 01:05:22.880
I actually do like when people yell or scream

01:05:22.880 --> 01:05:26.920
in shock or horror sometimes. She told Guinness

01:05:26.920 --> 01:05:29.440
World Records. But that's probably my favorite

01:05:29.440 --> 01:05:32.039
one because it's funny to me because it's a dramatic

01:05:32.039 --> 01:05:44.639
response. Yeah? Yeah? Yeah. Yeah, and Chanel

01:05:44.639 --> 01:05:48.619
showed off some of the other tricks she has learned.

01:05:49.260 --> 01:05:51.659
to perform with the tongue including flipping

01:05:51.659 --> 01:06:00.599
plastic cups and holding a spoon wow i wonder

01:06:00.599 --> 01:06:11.039
how much money she made a lot a lot um the talent's

01:06:11.039 --> 01:06:17.739
there isn't it yes yeah go on go on america's

01:06:17.739 --> 01:06:19.920
got talent Hell yeah, yeah, they'd love to have

01:06:19.920 --> 01:06:23.659
you. That's right up their alley, isn't it? Yeah.

01:06:23.820 --> 01:06:31.519
Yeah, yeah. Thank you, Rob. You're welcome. Okay.

01:06:32.679 --> 01:06:35.480
A freaked out influencer discovers a website

01:06:35.480 --> 01:06:38.000
is selling life -size cardboard cutouts of her.

01:06:40.780 --> 01:06:43.980
It's weird and scary, according to the influencer.

01:06:46.829 --> 01:06:49.730
All right, they say that imitation is the sincerest

01:06:49.730 --> 01:06:52.809
form of flattery or stealing, but this woman

01:06:52.809 --> 01:06:56.389
isn't so sure. A New York City influencer has

01:06:56.389 --> 01:06:58.889
revealed the unexpected repercussions that accompany

01:06:58.889 --> 01:07:03.090
content creation. Cardboard cutouts of her images

01:07:03.090 --> 01:07:07.889
being sold online. Now, Rob, what would you think

01:07:07.889 --> 01:07:11.969
we would do if we saw two douchebags' cardboard

01:07:11.969 --> 01:07:15.360
cutouts being sold online? We'd probably love

01:07:15.360 --> 01:07:17.320
it, wouldn't we? We'd be like, yeah, keep the

01:07:17.320 --> 01:07:19.960
money. Oh, I would. Yeah, I would. Yeah, me too.

01:07:20.199 --> 01:07:24.380
I'd order a couple for myself. Me too. That'd

01:07:24.380 --> 01:07:26.539
look great here in the Talk is Cheap studio.

01:07:27.780 --> 01:07:30.539
They would make awesome Christmas gifts. Yes,

01:07:30.539 --> 01:07:34.460
they would, yep. Yeah, and I mean, we'll even

01:07:34.460 --> 01:07:36.579
sign them for you too. Whoever's making these,

01:07:36.719 --> 01:07:39.719
send them to us. We'll sign them, and then we'll

01:07:39.719 --> 01:07:41.519
send them to whoever you're selling them to.

01:07:41.679 --> 01:07:46.719
So there you go. Yeah. Yeah, hell yeah, I'd sign

01:07:46.719 --> 01:07:50.639
it might even pose with him You know like which

01:07:50.639 --> 01:07:52.679
one's the real mark, you know, which one's the

01:07:52.679 --> 01:07:56.300
real Rob Yeah, I mean if we wore the same clothes

01:07:56.300 --> 01:07:59.099
and everything it'd be pretty cool All right.

01:07:59.320 --> 01:08:01.920
So when I decided to make videos on the internet,

01:08:02.099 --> 01:08:04.039
this is the last thing I thought would happen

01:08:04.039 --> 01:08:08.320
Kelsey Kotzer 31 said in a video posted on tik

01:08:08.320 --> 01:08:11.389
-tok last fall The Brooklyn resident discovered

01:08:11.389 --> 01:08:14.010
that an unknown stranger was creating life -size

01:08:14.010 --> 01:08:17.470
flat figurines of her likeness, seemingly pulling

01:08:17.470 --> 01:08:20.069
images that caught her off of the internet to

01:08:20.069 --> 01:08:23.689
turn into cardboard cutouts. But this week, she

01:08:23.689 --> 01:08:26.090
was alerted that the new variations had been

01:08:26.090 --> 01:08:29.189
added, with the life -size versions going for

01:08:29.189 --> 01:08:36.329
nearly $80. Not bad. I would be pleased. Wouldn't

01:08:36.329 --> 01:08:39.029
you feel pretty good if you went for $80 online?

01:08:41.100 --> 01:08:43.380
Yeah, definitely. Yeah, I mean, if they paid

01:08:43.380 --> 01:08:45.460
$10 for me, I'd feel pretty good about it. But

01:08:45.460 --> 01:08:49.159
$80? I think she's doing all right. The products

01:08:49.159 --> 01:08:51.699
appear to be originating from the site Celebrity

01:08:51.699 --> 01:08:54.619
Cutouts, which sells an array of cardboard cutouts

01:08:54.619 --> 01:08:57.439
of A -list actors, models, political figures,

01:08:57.560 --> 01:09:01.779
and yes, even influencers. Cutouts of other internet

01:09:01.779 --> 01:09:04.560
personalities listed for sale include New York

01:09:04.560 --> 01:09:07.720
City creator Serena Carrington and the brothers

01:09:07.720 --> 01:09:12.220
Jake and Logan Paul. So, yeah, there you go.

01:09:12.279 --> 01:09:14.100
She's in that company. I think that's pretty

01:09:14.100 --> 01:09:18.380
good. Yeah. Kotzer previously discovered the

01:09:18.380 --> 01:09:21.000
cutouts sold on Walmart's website. They have

01:09:21.000 --> 01:09:23.699
since disappeared. But they're also available

01:09:23.699 --> 01:09:30.220
on eBay and Amazon. The New York Post, who published

01:09:30.220 --> 01:09:33.460
this article, has contacted Kotzer for celebrity

01:09:33.460 --> 01:09:36.859
cutouts, but she did not return any messages

01:09:36.859 --> 01:09:43.579
as of the last time I checked. So, I'd be happy

01:09:43.579 --> 01:09:48.760
to get $5 out of my cutout. What about you? Oh,

01:09:48.760 --> 01:09:52.279
yeah, I'd be real happy with $5. Oh, $80? I'd

01:09:52.279 --> 01:09:54.500
be tickled pink. I'd be like, oh, my God. Oh,

01:09:54.840 --> 01:09:58.180
man, that'd be hell. People would spend $80 on

01:09:58.180 --> 01:10:01.399
a picture of me, life -size? Oh, man, I'd be

01:10:01.399 --> 01:10:05.920
jumping for joy. So, yeah, Rob, you got something

01:10:05.920 --> 01:10:09.569
else you want to go into? Yeah, I do. All righty,

01:10:09.569 --> 01:10:14.869
that's good. Italian -American brand Prego just

01:10:14.869 --> 01:10:17.970
announced a launch of five delicious new pasta

01:10:17.970 --> 01:10:24.489
sauces. Cheese lovers will go nuts for it. Okay.

01:10:25.050 --> 01:10:28.670
The new sauces are part of the Prego Creamy Tomato

01:10:28.670 --> 01:10:33.930
Sauces and Prego Cheese Sauces lineup. Perfect

01:10:33.930 --> 01:10:39.189
for making sauce dips. or even just for drizzling

01:10:39.189 --> 01:10:42.449
on food. Made with real ingredients, including

01:10:42.449 --> 01:10:47.010
fresh cream and cheddar cheese, these versatile

01:10:47.010 --> 01:10:50.390
sauces can be used to create a variety of family

01:10:50.390 --> 01:10:53.850
-friendly recipes. Make mac and cheese in just

01:10:53.850 --> 01:10:56.770
10 minutes with only two ingredients. It's even

01:10:56.770 --> 01:11:00.470
easier than the box version and better quality,

01:11:00.510 --> 01:11:06.539
too, the company says. And here is a list. Of

01:11:06.539 --> 01:11:13.060
the five new flavors. Okay. Prego creamy cheddar

01:11:13.060 --> 01:11:19.260
cheese sauce. Sounds good to me. Prego cheesy

01:11:19.260 --> 01:11:24.359
bacon cheddar cheese sauce. That sounds good.

01:11:24.560 --> 01:11:30.560
That sounds better. Prego creamy tomato sauce

01:11:30.560 --> 01:11:37.460
with ricotta cheese. Mm -hmm. Prego creamy tomato

01:11:37.460 --> 01:11:43.060
sauce with garlic. Gotta have that. Yes, that's

01:11:43.060 --> 01:11:48.220
a must. And finally, Prego spicy vodka sauce.

01:11:48.760 --> 01:11:53.319
Oh, nice. They're entering that realm. Good.

01:11:53.479 --> 01:11:56.899
Yes. Because I have the one vodka sauce that

01:11:56.899 --> 01:12:00.920
I go to around here, and that is, I think it

01:12:00.920 --> 01:12:04.420
is, not Cascone's, I think it might be Garozzo's.

01:12:05.159 --> 01:12:07.500
They have a spicy vodka sauce. I believe it's

01:12:07.500 --> 01:12:10.340
Grozo's. If not, I think it's Cascone's. But

01:12:10.340 --> 01:12:13.380
one of those two has a spicy vodka sauce that's

01:12:13.380 --> 01:12:16.840
out of this world. Oh, that's good. Because spicy

01:12:16.840 --> 01:12:19.119
vodka sauces are usually great, aren't they?

01:12:20.659 --> 01:12:24.439
Yeah. Yep. I can't wait. Prego has good stuff.

01:12:24.899 --> 01:12:27.800
I mean, it's not like it's bad. I mean, it's

01:12:27.800 --> 01:12:30.939
not like traditional Italian stuff. But man,

01:12:30.979 --> 01:12:33.699
I didn't... Yeah, for like quick, easy nights.

01:12:34.270 --> 01:12:36.810
you know i mean and also for like three bucks

01:12:36.810 --> 01:12:40.810
a jar you can't beat that yeah you know the specialty

01:12:40.810 --> 01:12:43.310
stuff is like seven eight dollars something like

01:12:43.310 --> 01:12:47.350
that you know so cool i'm glad they're doing

01:12:47.350 --> 01:12:52.930
it um rob you and i are both rainbow fans right

01:12:52.930 --> 01:12:58.010
yeah well i got a richie blackmore update so

01:12:59.149 --> 01:13:01.970
He doesn't do a lot of concerts anymore. So here

01:13:01.970 --> 01:13:04.930
is the reason his wife, Candace Knight, spoke

01:13:04.930 --> 01:13:09.109
out and gave an interview. She said that Richie

01:13:09.109 --> 01:13:11.130
Blackmore suffered a heart attack about a year

01:13:11.130 --> 01:13:14.770
and a half ago. He's got six stents. Yeah, I

01:13:14.770 --> 01:13:17.970
didn't know this. He's got six stents, his wife

01:13:17.970 --> 01:13:20.159
says. Candice Knight, who has been married to

01:13:20.159 --> 01:13:23.079
Richie Blackmore for 17 years, but has been together

01:13:23.079 --> 01:13:25.920
with the legendary Deep Purple and Rainbow guitarist

01:13:25.920 --> 01:13:29.699
for 36 years, spoke to Don Osborne of Total Rock

01:13:29.699 --> 01:13:32.100
about the possibility of Richie returning to

01:13:32.100 --> 01:13:35.140
Europe in the not -too -distant future for live

01:13:35.140 --> 01:13:37.840
shows with their long -running project, Blackmore's

01:13:37.840 --> 01:13:43.439
Night. She said, as transcribed by Blabbermouth

01:13:43.439 --> 01:13:48.359
.net, suddenly I can't talk. Big stretch there.

01:13:48.479 --> 01:13:51.260
As far as flying anywhere right now, Richie has

01:13:51.260 --> 01:13:53.560
actually been told by his cardiologist not to

01:13:53.560 --> 01:13:56.239
get in a plane. He's had a heart attack about

01:13:56.239 --> 01:13:59.279
a year and a half ago. He's got six stents. And

01:13:59.279 --> 01:14:02.680
I can't believe he's going to be 80 April 14th,

01:14:02.699 --> 01:14:05.420
which is crazy. But he doesn't look it, still

01:14:05.420 --> 01:14:08.079
doesn't act it. But eventually medical things

01:14:08.079 --> 01:14:10.479
wind up catching up with you. So we've got to

01:14:10.479 --> 01:14:13.199
make sure we keep him happy and healthy. And

01:14:13.199 --> 01:14:15.479
he's dealing with gout and some arthritic things.

01:14:15.619 --> 01:14:18.079
And of course, his back has always been an issue

01:14:18.079 --> 01:14:20.859
for years. So it's getting harder for him. It's

01:14:20.859 --> 01:14:23.319
tricky. But hey, I've seen people younger than

01:14:23.319 --> 01:14:27.600
him in wheelchairs on stage doing what they do.

01:14:28.340 --> 01:14:30.640
So I think he probably doesn't want people to

01:14:30.640 --> 01:14:33.779
see him that way. I see other perspectives. From

01:14:33.779 --> 01:14:35.920
a fan's perspective, I would think people would

01:14:35.920 --> 01:14:37.920
just be happy to be under the same roof with

01:14:37.920 --> 01:14:42.180
him and listen to him play. Whenever he comes

01:14:42.180 --> 01:14:45.500
up. So we kind of have this discussion. Or argument.

01:14:45.720 --> 01:14:49.340
I'll say discussion all the time. But he was

01:14:49.340 --> 01:14:51.760
just recently at his cardiologist. And they said.

01:14:52.000 --> 01:14:55.000
Let's put traveling by plane on hold. So hopefully

01:14:55.000 --> 01:14:57.239
we'll get that all straightened out. And it'll

01:14:57.239 --> 01:14:59.819
change. But I'll tell you guys. I'll let you

01:14:59.819 --> 01:15:05.479
know if it does change. Okay. Then this makes

01:15:05.479 --> 01:15:10.390
sense now. He only plays. a couple of shows in

01:15:10.390 --> 01:15:12.229
the last few years. He's only played a couple

01:15:12.229 --> 01:15:14.409
of shows a year, and they've all been in New

01:15:14.409 --> 01:15:18.050
Jersey. He must live somewhere around there,

01:15:18.090 --> 01:15:20.829
like New York or New Jersey or something. And

01:15:20.829 --> 01:15:23.729
he played a show a couple of months ago. And

01:15:23.729 --> 01:15:25.829
the reason is because I would love to go see

01:15:25.829 --> 01:15:27.930
Blackmore's Night just to see Richie Blackmore

01:15:27.930 --> 01:15:32.569
because I've never had that chance, right? So

01:15:32.569 --> 01:15:35.229
every time I've seen Purple, they didn't have

01:15:35.229 --> 01:15:38.390
Blackmore with them. And I never seen Rainbow,

01:15:38.489 --> 01:15:45.210
who I really wanted to see. So I check his website

01:15:45.210 --> 01:15:48.029
regularly for shows, and it seems like the last

01:15:48.029 --> 01:15:50.989
three years, he's only been playing a couple

01:15:50.989 --> 01:15:54.590
of shows in New Jersey or close to. So I would

01:15:54.590 --> 01:15:56.229
think that he lives somewhere in the Northeast,

01:15:56.409 --> 01:15:58.510
and that's why he doesn't go to Europe to play

01:15:58.510 --> 01:16:00.729
shows, is he can't get on a plane right now,

01:16:00.810 --> 01:16:04.470
according to his cardiologist. But you know what,

01:16:04.510 --> 01:16:07.170
Richie? Your health comes first. And if we don't

01:16:07.170 --> 01:16:09.529
get to hear you live, that's the way it is. We

01:16:09.529 --> 01:16:12.090
just want you to be healthy. And thanks for your

01:16:12.090 --> 01:16:14.390
music. I mean, you know, I listen to it daily.

01:16:15.789 --> 01:16:19.090
So we wish you health and love and happiness

01:16:19.090 --> 01:16:21.729
and all of that, Richie. We hope you get better

01:16:21.729 --> 01:16:26.550
and heal and live another 50 years. So, hey,

01:16:26.649 --> 01:16:31.949
Rob, you got something? The last time to chant

01:16:31.949 --> 01:16:36.630
Goldberg, Goldberg, Goldberg is upon us. Oh,

01:16:36.630 --> 01:16:41.489
no. As Dave Meltzer of the Wrestling Observer

01:16:41.489 --> 01:16:45.069
Newsletter noted that Bill Goldberg is currently

01:16:45.069 --> 01:16:48.350
training for his impending retirement match,

01:16:48.510 --> 01:16:53.890
which is set to happen sometime this year. According

01:16:53.890 --> 01:16:58.449
to the report, the former WCW slash WWE World

01:16:58.449 --> 01:17:01.890
Heavyweight Champion is shaking off the ring

01:17:01.890 --> 01:17:05.800
rest, if any. and training with the Bon Erics,

01:17:06.060 --> 01:17:12.479
Ross, Marshall, and Kevin. Is that the same Kevin

01:17:12.479 --> 01:17:17.739
that's been around the whole time? Wow. Yes.

01:17:18.140 --> 01:17:23.819
Okay. The former K -1 kickboxing star Tyrone

01:17:23.819 --> 01:17:28.300
Spong. It's interesting to note that Goldberg

01:17:28.300 --> 01:17:31.359
and Kevin both moved to and currently reside

01:17:31.359 --> 01:17:35.369
in Bourne, Texas. for similar reasons unrelated

01:17:35.369 --> 01:17:39.630
to wrestling. Goldberg's son and Kevin's grandson

01:17:39.630 --> 01:17:43.109
are participating in the city's high school football

01:17:43.109 --> 01:17:48.489
opportunities. Based on projections, the timeline

01:17:48.489 --> 01:17:51.550
for when fans might see Goldberg return to the

01:17:51.550 --> 01:17:55.210
ring could be as early as August at SummerSlam.

01:17:56.250 --> 01:18:00.529
Speculation remains consistent that the Hall

01:18:00.529 --> 01:18:03.649
of Famer's final opponent, will be the current

01:18:03.649 --> 01:18:08.609
WWE World Heavyweight Champion, Gunther. As these

01:18:08.609 --> 01:18:11.890
two went from butting heads to almost extending

01:18:11.890 --> 01:18:15.569
blows before security intervened at the last

01:18:15.569 --> 01:18:20.630
October's Bad Blood. The last time Goldberg appeared

01:18:20.630 --> 01:18:26.449
as an in -ring competitor was at the 2022 Elimination

01:18:26.449 --> 01:18:29.649
Chamber, where he challenged Roman Reigns for

01:18:29.649 --> 01:18:33.159
his Universal Championship. The match concluded

01:18:33.159 --> 01:18:36.439
after six minutes with Reigns retaining the title

01:18:36.439 --> 01:18:46.000
based on the referee's decision. Do you know

01:18:46.000 --> 01:18:53.600
how old Kevin Von Erich is now? He'd have to

01:18:53.600 --> 01:18:59.340
be pushing 70. He's been around forever. And

01:18:59.340 --> 01:19:05.609
Goldberg's no spring chicken either. Wow. Yeah,

01:19:05.670 --> 01:19:08.630
I find it incredible that he's still in the wrestling

01:19:08.630 --> 01:19:12.149
realm at all. Have you seen a picture of him?

01:19:12.170 --> 01:19:24.609
Does he look good? Cool. Good. Yeah, yeah. Go

01:19:24.609 --> 01:19:31.560
ahead. Well, yeah, he's 67. I mean, look at Hulk.

01:19:31.800 --> 01:19:37.060
Hulk Hogan looks like a bag of fried shit. And

01:19:37.060 --> 01:19:41.720
I don't like the guy anyhow. But Kevin Von Erich,

01:19:41.880 --> 01:19:44.300
he's one of the original Von Erichs. One of the

01:19:44.300 --> 01:19:46.619
original ones. Isn't that amazing he's still

01:19:46.619 --> 01:19:48.220
around? I mean, all the rest of them, I'm not

01:19:48.220 --> 01:19:51.100
kidding you, all the rest of them are dead. One

01:19:51.100 --> 01:19:55.520
way or another. Ross and Marshall are in wrestling

01:19:55.520 --> 01:19:58.279
now, and I can't remember what promotion they're.

01:20:00.300 --> 01:20:04.279
Oh. He's, if I remember right, he's there with

01:20:04.279 --> 01:20:08.739
them, kind of like their sidekick. Oh, like their

01:20:08.739 --> 01:20:14.199
sidekick. Okay. Yeah. Hmm. Or manager or whatever,

01:20:14.399 --> 01:20:18.119
you know what I mean? Yeah. Okay, kind of like

01:20:18.119 --> 01:20:24.000
a Jimmy Hort kind of guy or something. You know,

01:20:24.000 --> 01:20:26.840
running around. Yeah. Grabbing the chair. Kevin

01:20:26.840 --> 01:20:30.880
would be a lot worse. Yes. He would hurt you.

01:20:30.960 --> 01:20:32.619
Yeah, that guy could actually hurt you, not like

01:20:32.619 --> 01:20:36.720
Jimmy Hart, you know. Yeah, Jimmy Hart's the

01:20:36.720 --> 01:20:38.619
weasel that always grabbed the chair and smacked

01:20:38.619 --> 01:20:40.659
the opponent over the head while the referee

01:20:40.659 --> 01:20:44.140
was distracted by someone else. Yeah, it was

01:20:44.140 --> 01:20:46.800
amazing how they got away with that all the time.

01:20:47.739 --> 01:20:51.539
Exactly. Yeah. Wow, you'd almost think it was

01:20:51.539 --> 01:20:55.359
scripted. Wow. But we know better than that.

01:20:56.119 --> 01:20:59.470
Oh, yeah, definitely. Yeah, yeah. I got a little

01:20:59.470 --> 01:21:03.670
something to add here. Rob, have you ever watched

01:21:03.670 --> 01:21:07.529
the documentary on the Fyre Festival, F -Y -R

01:21:07.529 --> 01:21:11.869
-E Festival? No, I have not. It was a big scam.

01:21:13.489 --> 01:21:16.130
Several years ago, probably about 10 or 12 years

01:21:16.130 --> 01:21:20.590
ago now, a guy invented a festival on a remote

01:21:20.590 --> 01:21:23.810
island. It's going to have all these bands there

01:21:23.810 --> 01:21:26.659
and everything. So he had people come there,

01:21:26.720 --> 01:21:28.939
pay all this money for the tickets, pay to camp

01:21:28.939 --> 01:21:33.079
there, pay to all this stuff there. And it never

01:21:33.079 --> 01:21:38.819
existed. And then the crater took off and the

01:21:38.819 --> 01:21:42.560
people are pretty much stranded there. A lot

01:21:42.560 --> 01:21:44.659
of them didn't have any money, nothing. And he

01:21:44.659 --> 01:21:46.699
took off with a bag of loot. He went to prison.

01:21:47.180 --> 01:21:51.199
Well, he's back out now, it appears. And Mexican

01:21:51.199 --> 01:21:54.260
officials deny, but everyone is saying that would

01:21:54.260 --> 01:21:57.760
know. saying that there's a Fyre Festival 2 that's

01:21:57.760 --> 01:22:00.899
going to be happening in Playa de Carmen, Mexico.

01:22:02.340 --> 01:22:09.159
If you're that dumb, I think you deserve to get

01:22:09.159 --> 01:22:16.380
your money stolen. Your thoughts? Yep. Yeah,

01:22:16.399 --> 01:22:19.739
I mean, the guy had done some other stuff, too.

01:22:19.800 --> 01:22:24.699
He's a proven shyster. Anything that he said,

01:22:24.819 --> 01:22:27.760
I would not believe. Anything that he did, I

01:22:27.760 --> 01:22:30.560
would stay as far away from it as I could. But

01:22:30.560 --> 01:22:34.539
they say that there's a lot of interest in it.

01:22:34.600 --> 01:22:36.539
They had all these hits on it, the people looking

01:22:36.539 --> 01:22:39.659
at it, wanting to go there, information and all

01:22:39.659 --> 01:22:42.739
that stuff. Why in the world? But you know what?

01:22:42.840 --> 01:22:45.520
I mean, look. I mean, you walk outside your door

01:22:45.520 --> 01:22:47.979
and you see these people walking and they don't

01:22:47.979 --> 01:22:50.100
look like the brightest. Those are the people

01:22:50.100 --> 01:22:55.260
buying the tickets. Anyhow. Well, you want to

01:22:55.260 --> 01:22:56.939
cut this shit show down, or you got something?

01:22:58.500 --> 01:23:04.500
Oh, I got one more for out there. Right. Troy

01:23:04.500 --> 01:23:07.939
Landry and Pickle Wheat, stars of History Channel's

01:23:07.939 --> 01:23:12.239
Swamp People, made a shocking discovery deep

01:23:12.239 --> 01:23:16.000
in Louisiana Bayou. Okay. While filming an episode

01:23:16.000 --> 01:23:20.069
of Swamp Mysteries with Troy Landry. The gator

01:23:20.069 --> 01:23:23.710
hunting duo stumbled upon human remains believed

01:23:23.710 --> 01:23:27.829
to be thousands of years old. The find occurred

01:23:27.829 --> 01:23:32.149
during Season 3, Episode 6, titled Buried Secrets.

01:23:32.630 --> 01:23:36.210
The episode followed their search for evidence

01:23:36.210 --> 01:23:39.430
of a lost Native American civilization in the

01:23:39.430 --> 01:23:43.109
swamp. Landry, known as the King of the Swamp,

01:23:43.229 --> 01:23:46.850
was visibly shaken by the discovery, which started

01:23:46.850 --> 01:23:50.189
as a... Historical investigation quickly turned

01:23:50.189 --> 01:23:53.109
into one of the show's most unexpected moments.

01:23:53.670 --> 01:23:56.810
The find could have significant implications

01:23:56.810 --> 01:24:00.250
for understanding the region's early inhabitants

01:24:00.250 --> 01:24:07.869
and their burial practices. Hmm. Yeah. Neat.

01:24:08.449 --> 01:24:11.350
Huh. At first they thought it was pottery, and

01:24:11.350 --> 01:24:13.649
Troy said, that's not pottery, that's a skull,

01:24:13.930 --> 01:24:21.430
that's a jawbone. Wow. So they have DNA in that.

01:24:21.529 --> 01:24:27.350
They have totally white teeth. Huh. Whatever

01:24:27.350 --> 01:24:29.550
they ate didn't decay their teeth, I guess. They

01:24:29.550 --> 01:24:33.590
didn't have sugar cane, I guess. Wow. Or citric

01:24:33.590 --> 01:24:35.930
acid or some of the stuff that tears our teeth

01:24:35.930 --> 01:24:43.050
up. Interesting. So they have DNA. So we talked

01:24:43.050 --> 01:24:46.390
earlier about the dodo bird. Maybe being reanimated.

01:24:46.449 --> 01:24:50.770
What about this guy? Yeah. It is a slippery slope

01:24:50.770 --> 01:24:53.189
that I'm afraid that we're going to have to address

01:24:53.189 --> 01:24:55.649
because people are going to be doing it. So we

01:24:55.649 --> 01:25:00.109
shall see. Anyhow, that's all I got, Rob. You

01:25:00.109 --> 01:25:03.630
got anything else? That's all I have for tonight.

01:25:04.010 --> 01:25:07.890
Alrighty. Thank you all for listening. Have a

01:25:07.890 --> 01:25:14.289
good night, assholes. Good night, assholes. Oh,

01:25:14.289 --> 01:25:17.529
no. Looks like the show's over, kids. Mark has

01:25:17.529 --> 01:25:20.350
explosive diarrhea and can't afford a wireless

01:25:20.350 --> 01:25:23.989
mic. Fear not, assholes. They'll be back invading

01:25:23.989 --> 01:25:24.930
your ear holes soon.