WEBVTT

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I, Joe or Jane Listener, hereby promise to make

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other people listen. I, Joe or Jane Listener,

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will hereby lie to everyone about how quality

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the show is. I. Here at Two Douchebags and a

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Microphone, we don't stand behind our journalistic

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integrity. Go ahead and assume we got the story

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wrong. At least we admit it. Not like all those

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other guys. We can and will lie if it makes the

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story better. Two douchebags and a microphone.

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Strange, but true. Born in 1888, Grace McDaniels,

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later known as the Wilt -Faced Woman. appeared

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physically typical at birth. However, as she

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grew older, her face became severely disfigured

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due to Sturge Webber's syndrome. She eventually

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became a performer with Harry Lowenstein's Traveling

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Circus, earning $175 per week. Hey everybody,

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this is Uncle Rob. I'm going to give you some

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tips for life. This is Uncle Rob's rules to dick

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pics. Rule number one. Type of a kick in someone

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else's name, so if you get busted, it's not yours.

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Rule number two, shoot angles complementary to

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your length and girth. Rule number four, no propping

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of the leg. Absolutely no undercarriage. Very

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important. Your mama's so stupid. She tried to

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climb melting dew. So you want proof that we

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love you here at Q -Douche Bates and Microphone

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Central? Here's a proof right here about the

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drink of the week. Hey, Sporty Pants. This is

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definitely a summer drink. This is a Blue Beloy

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Antiqui Cocktail Shaker. One half of a cup of

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ice. Had two ounces of light one. Three quarter

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ounces of blue curacao. Two ounces of pineapple

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juice. Shake over 30 seconds until shaker is

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very cold. Straight into a hurricane glass. Filled

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with crushed ice. Garnished with a plain of a

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witch. And while you're there, why not milk with

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the blue Hawaiian shark -a -cat? All you have

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to do is grab the maraschino cherry on the top

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and splack. Looks like a wet mess on top. Therefore,

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the shark -a -cat. Two douchebags and a microphone.

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My name is Mark, and I'm here in the Kansas City

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vicinity. And I am Rob, and I am at the beautiful

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Niangua Arm of Lake of the Ozarks. Awesome, Rob.

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I worked on it today, man. I worked on it today.

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I love the way you emphasized beautiful Niangua

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Arm of Lake of the Ozarks. It's fucking awesome,

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dude. Hey, I work on the podcast while I'm cutting

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steel. I've got to have something to think about.

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There you go. No, I get it too, man. I'll tell

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you what. Whenever I come up with ideas at work

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or something, I've got my phone and I've got

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a little notepad on it. I'll take over around

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the corner and put it in real quick so I don't

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forget it because I know what you're talking

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about. It's like you come up with something and

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you're like, oh, man, that's good. I'm going

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to go over there and I'm going to, you know.

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And what I hate is whenever I come up with a

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really good idea, I get distracted and I don't

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put it down. And I'm like, damn it, what was

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that? And I'm telling you, I'll lose some really

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good ideas like that. Carry a notepad in your

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pocket. One of them small notepads. Well, the

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phone works just as good. Sometimes, you know,

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when you're at work, things happen beyond your

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control. Yeah, I cannot carry my phone around

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at work. Oh, okay, okay. Well, I have it. It's

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actually playing my music. Oh, gotcha. Okay.

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Well, I mean, to me, that's the most efficient

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way because I can carry my phone at work. And,

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I mean, I'm not supposed to have it out. That's

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how come I dodge in a corner and then run off.

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Yeah, yeah. I've had jobs like that, yeah. Yeah,

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so, I mean, it is what it is. But most of them

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I get down, and usually, like, I'll be almost

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asleep, and all of a sudden I'll go. Damn it,

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I remember. Then I have to get up, put it in

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my phone or write it down, and then go back to

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sleep. And it's just something about that little

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lull between you go to sleep when you're like

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really tired and you're not in the REM sleep

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yet. You're in the very light stages. And then

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that idea hits you again. You're like, damn it,

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I've got to go put it in the phone because if

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I don't in the morning, I'm not going to remember

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it. So anyhow, well, no wonder I'm sleep deprived.

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No, not really. I think I do all right. So our

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cruise is three weeks away. I'm stoked because

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this time it's only the ABC Islands, which are

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quite a ways east and are the extreme southern

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Caribbean region. The islands are right above

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Venezuela. If the boat is facing south, you can

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actually see Venezuela. I love these islands

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because they normally do not get hit by hurricanes

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because they're a geographical location. The

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palm trees are tall because they aren't as tore

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up due to storms. But the really cool things

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are they're spitting distance close to each other,

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which means you have an 8 a .m. in the morning

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to 10 p .m. at night at each island. Because

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they virtually have to go like 30 miles, if that,

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to get to the next island. So it's no time at

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all. So they let you stay late at the port. And

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it's fantastic. So this means we have a couple

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of sunset cruises set for Bonaire and Aruba.

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A sunset cruise is a must. Oh, Aruba. Yeah, Aruba's

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fantastic. I would love to see Aruba. Yeah, the

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ABC Islands are Aruba, Bonaire, and Curacao.

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A sunset cruise is a must in your lifetime, Rob.

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I mean, anybody. I suggest it if you can do it.

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And there's one more thing if you can do it.

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I know it takes money and not a whole lot of

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people have money anymore because, you know,

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that's the way life is right now, you know. Do

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you have to have a passport? Yeah, you have to

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have a passport, yes. Okay, I have to get a passport.

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Okay, yeah. But in the meantime, if you want,

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you can go to this place called Latitudes in

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Key West. It's a little pricey, but I'm telling

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you what, it's a must -do to me, a must -do in

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your life if you love sunsets like me and Val

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do. You sit on the beach there. It's a restaurant

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that you sit on the beach. It's the extreme southern

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part of Key West facing the sunset side, which

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would be the east side. Or no, wait a minute,

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west side. Okay, rises in the east. Sets in the

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west. Okay, the western side. It took me a minute.

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You know what? I used to know this shit right

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off. What the hell is going on with me? So anyhow,

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it faces west, and you sit there on the beach

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in a table while people are serving you food

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and drinks, and you watch the sunset. And that

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thing is amazing, too. And we actually took a

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sunset cruise in Key West also, which is incredible.

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And while you're there, I've got one more suggestion.

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Go to, what is it called? Damn it. You know what?

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I'll get back to that a little bit later. It's

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a dessert bar, but it's sexually themed, okay?

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So the waiter comes up behind you while you're

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sitting in this little boot that you can put

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these partitions around so nobody can see you.

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The waiter sneaks up on you, and the first thing

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he does is he goes, would you like a rim job?

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And you're like, what? Yeah, well, it's... What

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they do as a rim job is chocolate syrup they

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spread around on the inside of your glass. And,

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I mean, it's just being a guy. You're like, no,

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no, no. Yeah, yeah. I think tomorrow we'll probably

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go down to the Zachary Taylor Beach. Yeah, let's

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go look at the fucking five -eyed cats in the

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Hemingway house or something. You know, discuss

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and stuff. And all of a sudden he just walks

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up right behind you because he's partitions.

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And I'm sure they do it on purpose just to flip

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you out. Would you like a rim job, sir? I'm like,

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what? And then he goes, it's chocolate around

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the inside of your glass. I'm like, sir, a rim

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job sounds fantastic, so get to rimming. So anyhow.

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So, yeah, you talk about your ass cheeks slamming

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shut. Oh, my God. Yeah, like I said, you come

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to the United States, say rim job. It's got a

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totally different meaning. Well, Key West is

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the United States. It's Florida. Yeah, I know

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what you mean. You come up here. Well, Key West,

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they call it Key Weird for a reason. Yeah, exactly.

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What is the name of that fest that they have?

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It's like a carnival or something like that.

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I forgot what they call it, but it's like an

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Anything Goes. And they have Adam and Eve. It's

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a bar. Upstairs is topless. No, upstairs is clothing

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optional, not topless. Clothing optional. Downstairs

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is a regular bar. So if you want to go to the

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clothing optional one, you can go upstairs. So

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I took a little peek up there, and I'm like,

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no. No. I don't want to go up there. No. It's

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like this. The people you would rather see naked

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are downstairs. Not. The people you don't want

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to see naked are upstairs naked. So, you know.

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And it's kind of like Miami Beach. That is a

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clothing for a beach. It depends if you have

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your girlfriend with you or not at that point.

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Well, from what I saw in Miami Beach, it's a

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bunch of European elderly out there naked with

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their balls hanging down to their knees and chicks

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with their tits hanging down to their navel.

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I mean, it was not attractive people. I'm sorry.

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They were, ugh. Hey, I'm 56. I'll take what I

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can get. Okay. But I do have a girlfriend now.

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Okay, so you can't do that right now. Yeah. But

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it just seems to me, maybe not always, maybe

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I went at a wrong time or something, but it really

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seems to me like the people you would rather

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see naked have nothing to do with it. So we're

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going back to Aruba. The last time I was in Aruba,

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I forgot my wallet in my tennis shoes at the

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resort we're at. And so I figured out I didn't

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have my wallet halfway back, right, to the port.

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So thankfully, I had the cab driver. I was like,

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hey, look, we have enough time to go back and

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then come back. I'll pay you whatever you need

00:12:26.629 --> 00:12:28.370
to take me back to the resort because I can't

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find my wallet. And not only that, but if I don't

00:12:30.309 --> 00:12:33.029
have my wallet, I can't pay you. So she turns

00:12:33.029 --> 00:12:35.629
around, goes back, and I have my wallet stuffed

00:12:35.629 --> 00:12:38.730
inside my tennis shoes, and I forgot. So I'm

00:12:38.730 --> 00:12:40.529
running back to the resort, and I see my tennis

00:12:40.529 --> 00:12:42.309
shoes. I'm like, well, at least I found my tennis

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shoes. I pick them up, and then I had my hand

00:12:45.190 --> 00:12:46.470
on the inside. I'm like, hey, wait a minute.

00:12:46.570 --> 00:12:49.139
It was my wallet. I stuck them inside my tennis

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shoes and I'd forgotten. And I'm like, oh, my

00:12:51.840 --> 00:12:57.059
God. That's a hiding spot my dad taught me, too.

00:12:57.559 --> 00:12:59.620
Oh, okay. I'm not the only one that does that.

00:12:59.740 --> 00:13:03.539
No, no. That's a good hiding spot for your wallet.

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Well, it worked because nobody touched my shoes.

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Oh, well, fuck. Now we gave up generations. Oh,

00:13:12.320 --> 00:13:14.580
man. Damn it. Now people are going to check our

00:13:14.580 --> 00:13:17.950
shoes and get our wallets. so well this time

00:13:17.950 --> 00:13:21.250
i got a big water wallet and i didn't have one

00:13:21.250 --> 00:13:23.870
i i forgot to bring it or i know i forgot what

00:13:23.870 --> 00:13:27.090
so i had to do something with my wallet and the

00:13:27.090 --> 00:13:29.129
best thing to do is stuff it in your shoes because

00:13:29.129 --> 00:13:32.129
you're wearing your sandals so this time i have

00:13:32.129 --> 00:13:35.629
a water wallet and so i'm gonna have all my my

00:13:35.629 --> 00:13:38.070
wallet will stay in the safe on the on the ship

00:13:38.070 --> 00:13:41.629
the vital stuff that i need is going to be my

00:13:41.629 --> 00:13:46.120
water wallet including my passport because Here's

00:13:46.120 --> 00:13:48.740
what happens to people. Okay, like I said, they

00:13:48.740 --> 00:13:50.539
don't wait at ports as long as they used to.

00:13:50.580 --> 00:13:53.220
This is a 10 o 'clock port at night, so people

00:13:53.220 --> 00:13:56.500
should be back by then. But you never know. And

00:13:56.500 --> 00:13:58.320
also, they don't take off until, like, I don't

00:13:58.320 --> 00:14:00.539
know, midnight or 1, and they just kind of cruise

00:14:00.539 --> 00:14:03.580
slowly to the next island, which is about 30

00:14:03.580 --> 00:14:06.659
miles away. Okay, so they're probably okay there.

00:14:08.320 --> 00:14:10.500
People don't take their passport because they

00:14:10.500 --> 00:14:13.179
don't need them. The boat has them, and then

00:14:13.179 --> 00:14:16.600
they send information to the islands or Mexico

00:14:16.600 --> 00:14:20.919
or Belize or Roatan Island or wherever you're

00:14:20.919 --> 00:14:23.399
going. They send you the information, hey, this

00:14:23.399 --> 00:14:25.759
guy has his passport, this lady has his passport,

00:14:25.919 --> 00:14:28.519
and they're like, okay. So all you need is your

00:14:28.519 --> 00:14:32.440
ID. But what people fail to realize is that if

00:14:32.440 --> 00:14:35.759
something happens, like you miss your boat, You

00:14:35.759 --> 00:14:38.580
miss it or, I don't know, you end up in the hospital

00:14:38.580 --> 00:14:40.700
or something. I mean, that happens a lot too.

00:14:40.759 --> 00:14:43.620
People trip and fall, you know, fucking mash

00:14:43.620 --> 00:14:46.220
their head and they're in the hospital. And they

00:14:46.220 --> 00:14:49.120
don't have their passport. They're fucked. I

00:14:49.120 --> 00:14:52.659
mean, it takes a lot. You have to basically,

00:14:53.000 --> 00:14:55.779
from what I understand, we've never done this,

00:14:55.840 --> 00:14:57.840
thank God, and I don't plan on doing this, but

00:14:57.840 --> 00:15:01.159
you have to get a courier to go on the boat.

00:15:01.690 --> 00:15:03.730
and the boat has to give the courier clearance,

00:15:04.049 --> 00:15:06.470
so you have to be in contact with the boat, and

00:15:06.470 --> 00:15:08.750
you've got to go, okay, this guy, his name's

00:15:08.750 --> 00:15:10.750
such and such, he's going to come on the boat,

00:15:10.870 --> 00:15:14.070
he's going to show you his ID from this whatever

00:15:14.070 --> 00:15:17.389
location, Miami or whatever. Okay, he's going

00:15:17.389 --> 00:15:19.769
to pick up that passport, and he's going to bring

00:15:19.769 --> 00:15:22.769
it to me here, let's say Aruba, and he's going

00:15:22.769 --> 00:15:25.470
to bring it to me here in Aruba. You have to

00:15:25.470 --> 00:15:28.470
do that, and that is extremely expensive. We're

00:15:28.470 --> 00:15:30.470
talking into thousands of dollars to have that

00:15:30.470 --> 00:15:35.240
done. And people don't realize that they need

00:15:35.240 --> 00:15:38.039
their passport because the ship only requires

00:15:38.039 --> 00:15:39.860
you, and the country that you're in requires

00:15:39.860 --> 00:15:42.440
you just to have your ID because they already

00:15:42.440 --> 00:15:45.980
have your passport information, right? So just

00:15:45.980 --> 00:15:48.500
a little tip there to people. Bring your passport

00:15:48.500 --> 00:15:50.460
with you. Get a water wallet. Put that thing

00:15:50.460 --> 00:15:53.620
inside there. Passports purposely fit in a water

00:15:53.620 --> 00:15:57.000
wallet for a reason, and that's why. And then,

00:15:57.039 --> 00:15:59.039
you know, maybe a couple of credit cards, a little

00:15:59.039 --> 00:16:03.659
bit of cash. Maybe your ID. No, I've got to go

00:16:03.659 --> 00:16:06.659
out and buy a new wallet to go out of the truck.

00:16:07.080 --> 00:16:09.940
Damn you. A water wallet's cool, though, dude.

00:16:10.059 --> 00:16:13.799
I like my wallet. Look, I like my wallet, too.

00:16:13.840 --> 00:16:16.539
I like my regular wallet. But the thing is, if

00:16:16.539 --> 00:16:20.320
you jump in the ocean. It's comfy. Yeah, so is

00:16:20.320 --> 00:16:22.559
mine. But if you jump in the ocean, what's that

00:16:22.559 --> 00:16:25.379
wallet going to do? It's going to get soggy and

00:16:25.379 --> 00:16:26.879
it's going to fuck everything up in it, right?

00:16:27.360 --> 00:16:29.700
Yeah. Well, a water wallet's cool because you

00:16:29.700 --> 00:16:32.120
put it around your neck, and it's made out of

00:16:32.120 --> 00:16:34.700
some sort of a plastic usually, and it snaps

00:16:34.700 --> 00:16:40.639
together with gaskets, and it's sealed to where

00:16:40.639 --> 00:16:43.139
water can't get in it. So you get in the ocean

00:16:43.139 --> 00:16:45.059
or whatever, and it's right in front of you so

00:16:45.059 --> 00:16:47.389
you know it's there. You don't lose it. Other

00:16:47.389 --> 00:16:50.169
places, people, like, carry it somehow else.

00:16:50.370 --> 00:16:52.649
That's actually a good idea. That's a very good

00:16:52.649 --> 00:16:55.129
idea. Yeah. A water wallet is the way to go,

00:16:55.190 --> 00:16:58.129
trust me. And then a passport will fit in them,

00:16:58.190 --> 00:17:00.990
along with a little bit of cash and, I don't

00:17:00.990 --> 00:17:04.529
know, whatever else. Actually, your passport

00:17:04.529 --> 00:17:07.390
overrides any ID, so you don't really need ID.

00:17:07.690 --> 00:17:09.970
All you need is your passport, and that is fine

00:17:09.970 --> 00:17:13.829
with everywhere. So, anyhow, I don't know how

00:17:13.829 --> 00:17:18.410
I got into all that. New rage, Rob. Scented bowling

00:17:18.410 --> 00:17:23.390
balls are a thing now. Scented. What? Scented

00:17:23.390 --> 00:17:27.509
bowling balls. Scented bowling balls. Yes, scented

00:17:27.509 --> 00:17:30.930
bowling balls. I wish I was kidding. I cannot

00:17:30.930 --> 00:17:36.630
wait to tell my son this. I'm not kidding. I

00:17:36.630 --> 00:17:38.710
suddenly changed my mind about the panhandlers.

00:17:39.279 --> 00:17:41.740
I think that before you waste your money on a

00:17:41.740 --> 00:17:43.579
scented bowling ball, you must give whatever

00:17:43.579 --> 00:17:46.279
amount you're going to waste on a scented fucking

00:17:46.279 --> 00:17:48.779
bowling ball to a panhandler and tell them that

00:17:48.779 --> 00:17:52.180
you're sorry that you grew up in a spontaneous

00:17:52.180 --> 00:17:55.759
consumer and you watched parents trample people

00:17:55.759 --> 00:17:58.039
on Black Friday at Target and you can't help

00:17:58.039 --> 00:18:03.640
yourself. But there's an array of flavors, okay,

00:18:03.720 --> 00:18:06.519
and it goes from... I don't know, I'm liking

00:18:06.519 --> 00:18:10.829
the sounds of the scent. Holy bull. Look, I would

00:18:10.829 --> 00:18:12.569
entertain the idea if they had a fried chicken

00:18:12.569 --> 00:18:14.789
scented one. I mean, but, you know, the Paisley

00:18:14.789 --> 00:18:17.049
one or something like that, I'm not really interested.

00:18:17.170 --> 00:18:19.450
Well, I would have to do research into it, see

00:18:19.450 --> 00:18:22.750
how long that scent lasts. You know, that's a

00:18:22.750 --> 00:18:24.789
good question. I didn't look far enough into

00:18:24.789 --> 00:18:28.970
it. Yeah. I mean, does it last 30 days or does

00:18:28.970 --> 00:18:32.529
it last 30 years? You know what I mean? I don't

00:18:32.529 --> 00:18:35.130
know. Hang on. That's a good question. Let's

00:18:35.130 --> 00:18:37.509
take a look at this bitch right here. Yeah. All

00:18:37.509 --> 00:18:58.079
right. Oh, you're looking at it. okay okay it

00:18:58.079 --> 00:19:05.099
seems to they have all different types of scents

00:19:06.380 --> 00:19:09.180
It has a very strong, it's a storm bowling ball.

00:19:09.339 --> 00:19:13.279
It has a scent. It has a grape scent. There are

00:19:13.279 --> 00:19:18.480
other ones that have a peach scent and a lemon

00:19:18.480 --> 00:19:23.039
scent. And they generally last about three months

00:19:23.039 --> 00:19:26.900
from what I could see. Three months? Three months.

00:19:30.559 --> 00:19:33.200
Depends on the price. It depends on the price.

00:19:34.519 --> 00:19:36.740
Well, all you got to do is Google it, and it

00:19:36.740 --> 00:19:39.440
shows you places that you can buy. There's Storm

00:19:39.440 --> 00:19:44.180
Bowling right here. I might have to look. Yeah,

00:19:44.200 --> 00:19:47.279
I'll look into that. Look up Storm Bowling Balls.

00:19:48.640 --> 00:19:53.519
Okay, so you really want one, for real? Yeah,

00:19:53.539 --> 00:19:56.099
I'll save it for my son. Oh, okay. All right.

00:19:56.400 --> 00:20:03.430
He's into bowling. Actually, I... I'm tossing

00:20:03.430 --> 00:20:06.829
up either getting into bowling or going back

00:20:06.829 --> 00:20:12.430
into pool. You know what? I mean, why not? Bowling's

00:20:12.430 --> 00:20:14.930
not bad. I just don't know when I'm going to

00:20:14.930 --> 00:20:21.509
have time. That's my deal. Yeah. I mean, between

00:20:21.509 --> 00:20:25.710
this and a podcast like tomorrow, since today

00:20:25.710 --> 00:20:28.849
was eye appointments and dental stuff that I

00:20:28.849 --> 00:20:32.049
had to do today, so the podcast that... Topher

00:20:32.049 --> 00:20:34.150
and I are going to do from the city market been

00:20:34.150 --> 00:20:38.789
put off till tomorrow. So between all that stuff,

00:20:38.849 --> 00:20:42.769
I don't have a whole lot of time. So and anyhow,

00:20:42.950 --> 00:20:45.930
let's see here. All right. I'm trying to say

00:20:45.930 --> 00:20:48.990
not say anyhow as much because it bothers me.

00:20:49.029 --> 00:20:52.329
I don't know if anyone else notices, but I do.

00:20:52.750 --> 00:20:57.319
It could be something. Yeah. It's something that

00:20:57.319 --> 00:20:59.299
I pick on myself about. I don't know if it's

00:20:59.299 --> 00:21:01.400
that noticeable or not, but I'm trying to stop

00:21:01.400 --> 00:21:04.240
saying it. So if I stutter a little bit, I apologize,

00:21:04.339 --> 00:21:06.599
but I'm trying not to say that word that I just

00:21:06.599 --> 00:21:10.359
said. So I went to my massage therapist the other

00:21:10.359 --> 00:21:17.599
day. What was that word? Anyhow. You said it.

00:21:17.660 --> 00:21:24.380
I did. I got you. I know. Okay, she did. i i

00:21:24.380 --> 00:21:26.720
know you put it up there on a tee there you go

00:21:26.720 --> 00:21:34.200
yeah i did i had to just had to but anyways i

00:21:34.200 --> 00:21:39.099
love you man i love you i know that um but anyways

00:21:39.099 --> 00:21:44.660
rob yeah she told me about the time i'm not saying

00:21:44.660 --> 00:21:48.660
the word i'm saying anyways i can say that so

00:21:48.660 --> 00:21:52.500
um She told me about the time she was asked for

00:21:52.500 --> 00:21:55.259
a little extra rub and tug by a massage therapist.

00:21:55.579 --> 00:21:58.799
I was amazed. She had a guy threaten to report

00:21:58.799 --> 00:22:01.759
her to the massage licensing or the local government

00:22:01.759 --> 00:22:04.960
agency and say she did a rub and tug if she didn't

00:22:04.960 --> 00:22:07.599
do it to him. So she was like, all right, bastard.

00:22:08.000 --> 00:22:10.200
She immediately went to the manager and had him

00:22:10.200 --> 00:22:14.450
thrown out. And also she had a couple other issues

00:22:14.450 --> 00:22:16.170
with guys thinking they're going to get a rub

00:22:16.170 --> 00:22:19.069
and tug was going to happen. But I didn't know

00:22:19.069 --> 00:22:22.349
it was so prevalent, Rob. You know, a happy ending,

00:22:22.430 --> 00:22:26.869
right? There is actually a website for this.

00:22:27.569 --> 00:22:33.410
It's called rubmaps .com. I'm still floored there's

00:22:33.410 --> 00:22:36.509
an actual website with reviews for the good old

00:22:36.509 --> 00:22:40.160
rub down in the nether regions. You know, I go

00:22:40.160 --> 00:22:44.339
to the site. I can't believe, you know, how many

00:22:44.339 --> 00:22:46.400
are so close to my home, you know. I'm like going,

00:22:46.460 --> 00:22:48.319
what the hell? This is right up the road. This

00:22:48.319 --> 00:22:50.420
is right up the road. And you don't even notice

00:22:50.420 --> 00:22:52.819
them. They're little small places. I mean, it's

00:22:52.819 --> 00:22:54.700
like a whole little underground world right next

00:22:54.700 --> 00:22:56.799
door that most people haven't had a clue about.

00:22:57.279 --> 00:22:59.799
You know, you look at the site, and you have

00:22:59.799 --> 00:23:02.819
to put it in Google first, and it's kind of tricky

00:23:02.819 --> 00:23:05.579
finding it. And I'm not joking or setting you

00:23:05.579 --> 00:23:08.420
up. I'm not encouraging you to go look for it

00:23:08.420 --> 00:23:14.029
either. Okay, but it actually has the business's

00:23:14.029 --> 00:23:16.690
names, but to get the person that does that,

00:23:16.789 --> 00:23:19.430
you have to join a subscription service, okay?

00:23:19.769 --> 00:23:22.049
And I took a look at it. I wasn't interested

00:23:22.049 --> 00:23:24.029
in getting a rub and tug or nothing like that,

00:23:24.190 --> 00:23:28.829
okay? So I was like going, wow, that really fucking

00:23:28.829 --> 00:23:31.250
happens. And I know it does, but it's just kind

00:23:31.250 --> 00:23:33.930
of weird that you wouldn't think there's a website

00:23:33.930 --> 00:23:42.059
about it, rubmaps .com. The Internet is a very

00:23:42.059 --> 00:23:45.660
interesting world, just saying. But here's what

00:23:45.660 --> 00:23:49.119
I want to know. This website's up. Don't you

00:23:49.119 --> 00:23:52.759
think that law enforcement knows it's up? Don't

00:23:52.759 --> 00:23:55.180
you think that they look at IP addresses, which

00:23:55.180 --> 00:23:56.960
mine will be in the mail because I looked at

00:23:56.960 --> 00:24:02.079
it? I'm sure there will be an officer somewhere

00:24:02.079 --> 00:24:06.619
sometime that will catch on to it. Yeah. Yeah,

00:24:06.700 --> 00:24:09.319
they watch for stuff like that. Well, for one,

00:24:09.440 --> 00:24:11.579
it's a subscription service to get the actual

00:24:11.579 --> 00:24:18.160
name. Actually, actually, I think as long as,

00:24:18.420 --> 00:24:31.440
what was I going to say? As long as they do the

00:24:31.440 --> 00:24:36.690
massage. Uh -huh. Yeah, and they, you know. I

00:24:36.690 --> 00:24:39.970
think everything would be good. I don't know.

00:24:41.309 --> 00:24:44.309
Everything's weird these days. Are you saying...

00:24:44.309 --> 00:24:47.390
Okay, Rob, hang on. Correct me if I'm wrong here.

00:24:47.509 --> 00:24:49.670
Are you saying it's in the technique, maybe?

00:24:52.609 --> 00:24:56.490
Yeah. Like they have to do it a certain way to

00:24:56.490 --> 00:24:59.869
where it's an actual massage, but if something's

00:24:59.869 --> 00:25:02.069
in the way, they can't help it. Is that what

00:25:02.069 --> 00:25:05.480
you're saying? Right. Right, yeah. Oh, okay.

00:25:05.579 --> 00:25:09.319
I was having a hard time wording that. I got

00:25:09.319 --> 00:25:11.819
a very long day, brother. Okay, no, no, no, no.

00:25:11.880 --> 00:25:16.640
I was just trying to clarify. I was moving nonstop

00:25:16.640 --> 00:25:19.720
all day. You sound a little tired, actually.

00:25:20.119 --> 00:25:24.440
I am. So, okay. I'm going to get through this.

00:25:25.000 --> 00:25:31.119
Okay. So, I'm like, okay. So, you have to present

00:25:31.119 --> 00:25:34.250
this to the person, right? So I wonder if there's,

00:25:34.250 --> 00:25:39.589
like, code words. Like, the grass is green, you

00:25:39.589 --> 00:25:42.950
know, or whatever. I don't know. Yeah, there

00:25:42.950 --> 00:25:44.849
has to be code words. But I'm going to find out

00:25:44.849 --> 00:25:46.470
more. I'm going to do a little bit more research.

00:25:48.069 --> 00:25:51.210
I was just amazed. I shouldn't be. I know stuff

00:25:51.210 --> 00:25:55.190
like this goes on. But it was just weird. So

00:25:55.190 --> 00:25:59.720
anyhow, April Fool's is today. But it's not just

00:25:59.720 --> 00:26:02.579
April Fool's Day. It's National Tomfoolery Day.

00:26:03.539 --> 00:26:07.619
It's also National One Cent Day. It's also National

00:26:07.619 --> 00:26:11.539
Sourdough Bread Day, followed by April 2nd, and

00:26:11.539 --> 00:26:14.740
that being the National Ferret Day. National

00:26:14.740 --> 00:26:17.220
Peanut Butter and Jelly Day and National Reconciliation

00:26:17.220 --> 00:26:26.319
Day are also the second. You know, I mean, how

00:26:26.319 --> 00:26:30.220
do... I explained how you get these days. You

00:26:30.220 --> 00:26:32.400
know, you got to turn them in and stuff. But

00:26:32.400 --> 00:26:35.680
I can't believe how many days there are. How

00:26:35.680 --> 00:26:40.359
many can they add a day, you know? There should

00:26:40.359 --> 00:26:43.400
be 50 a day before long, dude. I know. I mean,

00:26:43.400 --> 00:26:45.279
isn't there a limit? Couldn't they, I mean, at

00:26:45.279 --> 00:26:48.700
like five or six or something? But, I mean, I'm

00:26:48.700 --> 00:26:50.700
waiting for April 3rd. You know what April 3rd

00:26:50.700 --> 00:26:55.960
is? My daughter's birthday, for one. It's also

00:26:55.960 --> 00:27:02.940
National Burrito Day. Oh, my God. Okay. It's

00:27:02.940 --> 00:27:04.599
your daughter's birthday and it's your burrito

00:27:04.599 --> 00:27:10.420
day. Yeah, yeah. I was just talking to her about

00:27:10.420 --> 00:27:17.920
dinner that night because I wanted to take her

00:27:17.920 --> 00:27:21.740
out for dinner. Okay. Okay, we'll go for Mexican.

00:27:22.380 --> 00:27:24.259
There you go. And let her know it's National

00:27:24.259 --> 00:27:28.660
Burrito Day. So, you know, all the other days

00:27:28.660 --> 00:27:31.480
I couldn't give a shit about except April Fool's.

00:27:31.480 --> 00:27:36.960
This morning at 6 a .m. I played a trick on Val.

00:27:37.079 --> 00:27:38.799
I go, man, I go, what's happening right down

00:27:38.799 --> 00:27:41.160
the road a couple of houses down? I go, there's

00:27:41.160 --> 00:27:48.869
cops everywhere. What? I go, April Fool's. I

00:27:48.869 --> 00:27:51.210
got to think about April Fool's, and you want

00:27:51.210 --> 00:27:54.430
to know the best prank I ever pulled on April

00:27:54.430 --> 00:27:59.390
Fool's? What? Okay. I know what it was against

00:27:59.390 --> 00:28:03.210
me, or I'd remember it. No, this is against a

00:28:03.210 --> 00:28:06.910
neighbor that was always in competition with

00:28:06.910 --> 00:28:09.950
me, and he was kind of annoying. So I believe

00:28:09.950 --> 00:28:12.990
the best prank I've ever played is when I put

00:28:12.990 --> 00:28:16.650
a garden hose in my friend's gas tank down the

00:28:16.650 --> 00:28:18.869
gas hole. or whatever you call an asshole, no,

00:28:18.930 --> 00:28:22.089
gas hole. He had a Ford Mustang convertible.

00:28:22.170 --> 00:28:25.289
He had just bought it. It was a 67 model with

00:28:25.289 --> 00:28:30.109
a soft top. It was just a beautiful car. I remember

00:28:30.109 --> 00:28:32.069
it well. It was powder blue with a white top.

00:28:33.049 --> 00:28:36.609
I went to the ground near his car, and I wet

00:28:36.609 --> 00:28:38.430
it all over there, and there was a decent puddle

00:28:38.430 --> 00:28:40.609
on the ground. Then I called him out, and I told

00:28:40.609 --> 00:28:42.650
him the neighborhood brat was putting water in

00:28:42.650 --> 00:28:45.690
his gas tank, and I had that fucking hose in

00:28:45.690 --> 00:28:49.579
there. He's shit. He runs up there and he's like,

00:28:49.660 --> 00:28:53.000
you know, he pulls it out. And he pulls it out

00:28:53.000 --> 00:28:55.500
and it's dry. And I'm sitting there fucking laughing

00:28:55.500 --> 00:28:57.559
at him. I go, oh, you're an asshole. Yeah, I

00:28:57.559 --> 00:29:01.119
got you. And then he threatened my AMC Pacer.

00:29:01.200 --> 00:29:07.700
And I said, go ahead. I hate that car. But that

00:29:07.700 --> 00:29:09.799
thing, that was one of the best pranks I ever

00:29:09.799 --> 00:29:13.440
pulled. Because could you imagine that? You're

00:29:13.440 --> 00:29:17.700
running out, right? And someone goes, man, the

00:29:17.700 --> 00:29:19.859
kid down the road is putting water in your gas

00:29:19.859 --> 00:29:22.579
tank. I caught him. Then he's running out. He

00:29:22.579 --> 00:29:24.579
sees water all over the ground. He sees puddles.

00:29:24.599 --> 00:29:27.339
And he sees a garden hose inside his gas tank.

00:29:27.839 --> 00:29:29.759
I mean, you wouldn't have time to think it's

00:29:29.759 --> 00:29:31.900
April 1st. You wouldn't have time to think April

00:29:31.900 --> 00:29:35.059
Fool's. You'd just be like, shit, running out

00:29:35.059 --> 00:29:38.579
there and trying to stop it and figure out what's

00:29:38.579 --> 00:29:42.000
going on. I think that might have been the best

00:29:42.000 --> 00:29:44.160
prank ever pulled, but I don't know. I pulled

00:29:44.160 --> 00:29:45.819
a few of them. That's just one that I remember

00:29:45.819 --> 00:29:48.420
really well for some reason. Have you pulled

00:29:48.420 --> 00:29:52.539
a really good prank on April Fool's? Actually,

00:29:52.579 --> 00:29:57.380
I really don't get into it. I really don't. Well,

00:29:57.400 --> 00:30:00.420
I'm that asshole that does, so anyhow. So, Rob,

00:30:00.599 --> 00:30:04.839
you had a little incident. I know you are. I

00:30:04.839 --> 00:30:09.250
grew up, dude. Well, obviously I did, and the

00:30:09.250 --> 00:30:10.990
first thing I did this morning was play a prank

00:30:10.990 --> 00:30:16.190
on Val, so there you go. Yeah. What did you say,

00:30:16.349 --> 00:30:20.490
5 .30? 6 a .m. It was 6 a .m. I did wait until

00:30:20.490 --> 00:30:24.710
6. I woke up about 5 .30. Oh, dude, that is wrong.

00:30:25.529 --> 00:30:28.950
It was. I know. I admit it now, but it was fun,

00:30:28.950 --> 00:30:33.009
too. You catch me at 6 a .m. and do something

00:30:33.009 --> 00:30:36.329
like that. Fucked my whole day up. That's a frying

00:30:36.329 --> 00:30:40.130
pan time, isn't it? I'm pissed off the rest of

00:30:40.130 --> 00:30:41.970
the day. Well, I'm sitting there giggling. You're

00:30:41.970 --> 00:30:46.430
grabbing the frying pan, aren't you? No, I'm

00:30:46.430 --> 00:30:49.690
at work cutting steel, fucking throwing steel.

00:30:53.190 --> 00:30:56.529
Bastard. So, Rob, you told me about a little

00:30:56.529 --> 00:30:59.049
incident that happened last night. You want to

00:30:59.049 --> 00:31:01.109
talk about it a little bit? Yes, I did. Yes,

00:31:01.130 --> 00:31:06.720
I did. Last night, while we were recording, I

00:31:06.720 --> 00:31:13.619
asked for a special break. Yep. Well, what happened

00:31:13.619 --> 00:31:19.880
was my girlfriend had left here. She was here

00:31:19.880 --> 00:31:22.720
while we were recording, and she left here to

00:31:22.720 --> 00:31:28.480
go home. And she got up by the square here in

00:31:28.480 --> 00:31:32.940
Canton, and there was a bunch of cops. Guns drawn,

00:31:33.400 --> 00:31:36.319
blah, blah, blah. She turned around, she came

00:31:36.319 --> 00:31:38.480
right back here, and that's when I asked for

00:31:38.480 --> 00:31:40.680
the break because, you know, she was a little

00:31:40.680 --> 00:31:47.420
frantic. And, well, it came out today with the

00:31:47.420 --> 00:31:54.200
story what she ran across. And the story I'm

00:31:54.200 --> 00:32:00.609
going to read is off Lake Expo. Okay. This was

00:32:00.609 --> 00:32:05.269
right here at Lake of the Ozarks. Okay. Niangua

00:32:05.269 --> 00:32:12.410
Arm. Niangua Arm. A beautiful Lake of the Ozarks.

00:32:12.410 --> 00:32:14.910
It started out on the other side of the lake,

00:32:14.990 --> 00:32:18.529
to be honest. Oh, okay. Okay, sorry. No, I'm

00:32:18.529 --> 00:32:24.440
reading the whole story here. Okay. A high -speed

00:32:24.440 --> 00:32:29.180
chase on Highway 54 Monday night led to a standoff

00:32:29.180 --> 00:32:35.700
between the driver and Lake Area Police. Around

00:32:35.700 --> 00:32:41.420
8 .41 p .m. March 31st, officers from the Lake

00:32:41.420 --> 00:32:45.680
Ozark Police Department attempted a traffic stop

00:32:45.680 --> 00:32:50.039
near the city limits of Lake Ozark and Osage

00:32:50.039 --> 00:32:54.579
Beach. but the vehicle reportedly failed to yield,

00:32:54.759 --> 00:33:01.400
initiating a pursuit. Spike strips were deployed

00:33:01.400 --> 00:33:06.319
near KK as the vehicle fled westbound on 54.

00:33:07.519 --> 00:33:12.000
Despite hitting the street strips, the vehicle

00:33:12.000 --> 00:33:16.859
continued and eventually entered Candenton, where

00:33:16.859 --> 00:33:22.200
more spike strips were deployed. The chase ended

00:33:22.200 --> 00:33:27.200
on Old Highway 5, which is right out here at

00:33:27.200 --> 00:33:34.180
Business 5. Just north of Camden Square, around

00:33:34.180 --> 00:33:40.460
853, when a Lake Ozark officer executed a pursuit

00:33:40.460 --> 00:33:44.359
intervention technique, which to everybody is

00:33:44.359 --> 00:33:49.400
the pit maneuver. using their patrol vehicle

00:33:49.400 --> 00:33:54.059
to disable the fleeing vehicle. The driver was

00:33:54.059 --> 00:33:59.940
the sole occupant, then produced a handgun. A

00:33:59.940 --> 00:34:05.799
standoff with officers lasted until 946, which

00:34:05.799 --> 00:34:08.860
was after the air, after we were off the air.

00:34:10.340 --> 00:34:15.440
A standoff... When the driver was taken into

00:34:15.440 --> 00:34:19.239
custody without further incident, authorities

00:34:19.239 --> 00:34:22.079
have not released the identity of the driver

00:34:22.079 --> 00:34:28.280
pending formal charges and the completion of

00:34:28.280 --> 00:34:35.699
the initial investigation. The Lake Ozark PD

00:34:35.699 --> 00:34:38.900
thanked the following agencies for their assistance.

00:34:40.400 --> 00:34:45.179
Osage Police Department, Camden County Sheriff's

00:34:45.179 --> 00:34:53.099
Office, Camden PD, Missouri Highway State Patrol,

00:34:53.420 --> 00:35:01.199
and Mid -Missouri Drug Dad Task Force. So I'm

00:35:01.199 --> 00:35:05.780
telling you, watch the A &E show, Ozark Law.

00:35:05.980 --> 00:35:30.869
I guarantee you'll see this one on it. Wow. Yeah.

00:35:38.070 --> 00:35:41.530
Here at Lake of the Ozarks, this shit's getting

00:35:41.530 --> 00:35:44.750
ridiculous. It really is. Meanwhile, you can't

00:35:44.750 --> 00:35:46.809
hardly drive in Kansas City anymore. I mean,

00:35:46.849 --> 00:35:49.769
every time, today was the same thing. I was going

00:35:49.769 --> 00:35:52.590
to I appointments up in the city, and I had other

00:35:52.590 --> 00:35:55.570
appointments to go to. Today was like a medical

00:35:55.570 --> 00:35:59.070
day, going all around town. And people are trying

00:35:59.070 --> 00:36:01.070
to hit you. If you're not a defensive driver,

00:36:01.389 --> 00:36:04.690
you're going to get hit. And it's ridiculous.

00:36:05.829 --> 00:36:08.809
People for whatever reason. Yeah, he could just

00:36:08.809 --> 00:36:11.730
run from the cops. Yeah, up here it's like people

00:36:11.730 --> 00:36:13.969
looking on their phone. And then pulled a handgun.

00:36:15.150 --> 00:36:18.130
That's stupid. That's stupid right there. You

00:36:18.130 --> 00:36:22.969
pull a handgun. Where it actually got stopped,

00:36:23.309 --> 00:36:32.510
it's like on the north side of the courthouse

00:36:32.510 --> 00:36:34.670
and sheriff's department. It's like a block.

00:36:35.099 --> 00:36:37.579
Block and a half. They didn't have far to take

00:36:37.579 --> 00:36:42.440
him, did they? No, no, no. They probably walked

00:36:42.440 --> 00:36:46.360
him there. All they had to do was walk him across

00:36:46.360 --> 00:36:48.400
the parking lot. There's this cut through the

00:36:48.400 --> 00:36:52.059
road. She said that's where, yeah, you couldn't

00:36:52.059 --> 00:36:54.719
get past that. You pull out a handgun. They caught

00:36:54.719 --> 00:36:58.300
him right by the square. I'm hoping they beat

00:36:58.300 --> 00:37:00.059
the shit out of him. You pull out a handgun.

00:37:00.079 --> 00:37:03.400
That's called fuck around and find out. And that

00:37:03.400 --> 00:37:07.519
is a no -no, especially down there. Down there,

00:37:07.539 --> 00:37:09.019
they get away with a little bit more than they

00:37:09.019 --> 00:37:10.639
want to. I wasn't going to say it. Down there.

00:37:10.659 --> 00:37:13.440
I wasn't going to say it. Down there. It was

00:37:13.440 --> 00:37:15.679
just like we said before. This is redneckville

00:37:15.679 --> 00:37:18.880
here. Allegedly, a long time ago, Cass County

00:37:18.880 --> 00:37:22.159
police told you and me both, on different occasions,

00:37:22.480 --> 00:37:25.900
if someone's on your front doorstep, fucking

00:37:25.900 --> 00:37:28.119
with you, and they're threatening to do something

00:37:28.119 --> 00:37:31.230
bad to you, shoot them. and then drag them inside

00:37:31.230 --> 00:37:33.329
the house. They don't have the budget to investigate.

00:37:33.550 --> 00:37:35.510
Yeah, you've got to make sure they're in your

00:37:35.510 --> 00:37:37.949
door. Yeah, all this is allegedly. It may or

00:37:37.949 --> 00:37:40.750
may not have happened. Allegedly. Allegedly.

00:37:41.269 --> 00:37:45.210
And, yeah, same thing there. It's like, it was

00:37:45.210 --> 00:37:47.610
the weirdest thing. He threw his face on the

00:37:47.610 --> 00:37:50.730
ground ten times. Is that what happened? Yeah.

00:37:50.969 --> 00:37:53.050
Is that what happened? Yeah, that's what happened.

00:37:53.429 --> 00:37:56.769
He threw his face on the ground ten times. We

00:37:56.769 --> 00:38:00.829
tried to tell him to stop, but he wouldn't. So

00:38:00.829 --> 00:38:04.150
let's... Well, that explains the sudden break

00:38:04.150 --> 00:38:07.550
last night. Sorry, everybody. I think that's

00:38:07.550 --> 00:38:09.929
very understandable, Rob. Very understandable.

00:38:11.289 --> 00:38:13.829
All right. Let's take our first break. I got

00:38:13.829 --> 00:38:16.250
a few emails, not a ton of them, because we had

00:38:16.250 --> 00:38:19.190
such a short time in between. But these are actually

00:38:19.190 --> 00:38:20.969
ones from... I believe they're from the weekend,

00:38:21.010 --> 00:38:23.570
but I've got to get that other... I apologize.

00:38:23.650 --> 00:38:25.550
I've got to get the other email to go in, because

00:38:25.550 --> 00:38:27.130
this doesn't even tell me what time they came

00:38:27.130 --> 00:38:30.269
in. Sometimes it cuts it off. You guys would

00:38:30.269 --> 00:38:32.130
have to see to see what I'm really talking about.

00:38:32.210 --> 00:38:56.369
But anyhow, we'll be back here real quick. would

00:38:56.369 --> 00:39:00.329
look ridiculous solving crime on a sunny day.

00:39:01.090 --> 00:39:04.329
Hey there, fuckstick. You're just in time for

00:39:04.329 --> 00:39:06.989
brand new feature news nobody gives a shit about.

00:39:07.329 --> 00:39:10.869
The very last meal on the Titanic before it went

00:39:10.869 --> 00:39:18.369
down was lamb with mint sauce. Why, Whataburger,

00:39:18.510 --> 00:39:23.590
you say? Well, because what a deep -fried crispy

00:39:23.590 --> 00:39:26.380
chicken nugget. Just didn't have the right ring.

00:39:30.679 --> 00:39:32.679
Have you ever wondered what something came about?

00:39:32.980 --> 00:39:34.960
Have you ever looked at something and said, Hey,

00:39:35.099 --> 00:39:38.179
I wonder what the origin of that is? Well, so

00:39:38.179 --> 00:39:42.079
have we. That's why we give you The Origin Of.

00:39:42.820 --> 00:39:45.360
This is the origin of the Big Mac. The original

00:39:45.360 --> 00:39:48.760
Big Mac sauce was created in 1968 at a McDonald's

00:39:48.760 --> 00:39:51.539
in Pittsburgh by a franchise owner named Jim

00:39:51.539 --> 00:39:55.559
Delegati. to serve with the Big Mac itself. The

00:39:55.559 --> 00:39:58.059
sauce first came in two different flavors, but

00:39:58.059 --> 00:40:00.420
then they were ultimately combined by McDonald's

00:40:00.420 --> 00:40:04.599
head honcho Ray Kroc in 1972 in order to ensure

00:40:04.599 --> 00:40:10.139
consistency. You watched the news. It looks grim.

00:40:10.440 --> 00:40:14.340
Is an apocalypse inevitable? We suggest you download

00:40:14.340 --> 00:40:17.539
all our podcasts beforehand and have multiple

00:40:17.539 --> 00:40:25.179
mobile chargers. We have most of all. Make sure

00:40:25.179 --> 00:40:30.000
and have plenty of rope. Strong, threaded, durable

00:40:30.000 --> 00:40:33.280
rope with a rating of 400 pounds or greater.

00:40:33.719 --> 00:40:36.820
You need to know basic knots so you can go to

00:40:36.820 --> 00:40:39.539
the library and download the Boy Scouts handbook

00:40:39.539 --> 00:40:42.800
and have a reference to slip knots and other

00:40:42.800 --> 00:40:46.440
essential rope tricks. Rope can be used in traps

00:40:46.440 --> 00:40:50.280
to catch food. or would be predators. Rope is

00:40:50.280 --> 00:40:53.179
a key ingredient in post -apocalypse survival.

00:40:53.880 --> 00:40:58.280
Next up, things overheard in hell. John Wayne

00:40:58.280 --> 00:41:03.320
Gacy is in charge of human resources. Our constant

00:41:03.320 --> 00:41:06.619
pursuit for a real knee slapper. It's strange

00:41:06.619 --> 00:41:11.280
insults from an alien. Real hilarity. Your IQ

00:41:11.280 --> 00:41:26.119
isn't even room temperature. And a microphone.

00:41:26.119 --> 00:41:29.340
I'm Mark in the Kansas City chapter of this here

00:41:29.340 --> 00:41:36.199
thingy. And I am Rob from the beautiful Niagara

00:41:36.199 --> 00:41:42.000
Arm of Lake of the Ozarks. Awesome. I told you

00:41:42.000 --> 00:41:44.840
I was working on it today. While I was working,

00:41:44.960 --> 00:41:49.230
I was getting it down. I did it. I can see you

00:41:49.230 --> 00:41:51.369
at work saying it over and over. What the fuck

00:41:51.369 --> 00:41:54.250
are you doing? Just move on. Don't worry about

00:41:54.250 --> 00:41:55.809
it. Just move on. You don't want to know. I'm

00:41:55.809 --> 00:41:58.230
going to be saying this shit in my sleep. Thank

00:41:58.230 --> 00:42:03.389
you. I was going through some old pictures, and

00:42:03.389 --> 00:42:05.090
I saw one of the funniest things I ever saw,

00:42:05.250 --> 00:42:07.829
and this was down near Kimberling City. I was

00:42:07.829 --> 00:42:10.750
headed to Eureka Springs, and I stopped there

00:42:10.750 --> 00:42:12.769
at one of those Rapid Roberts that are down all

00:42:12.769 --> 00:42:14.670
over that area. You know, their gas station,

00:42:14.829 --> 00:42:19.329
you know, kind of like a quick trip. So I see

00:42:19.329 --> 00:42:21.929
this car that they obviously lived out on the

00:42:21.929 --> 00:42:24.369
gravel roads, right? And it was just caked in

00:42:24.369 --> 00:42:27.710
dust. And on the back, it was written, I wish

00:42:27.710 --> 00:42:31.989
my wife was this dirtay. And I was like, what?

00:42:34.050 --> 00:42:37.329
Dirtay, D -A -R -T -A -Y. And I took a picture

00:42:37.329 --> 00:42:38.769
of it and I saw it through there. I'm like, oh,

00:42:38.889 --> 00:42:43.539
I remember that. It was over. Just south of Kimberlin

00:42:43.539 --> 00:42:46.480
City, kind of in between there and Lampy, where

00:42:46.480 --> 00:42:50.860
the Black Oak Amphitheater is. And I was like,

00:42:50.920 --> 00:42:53.559
man, that was funny. And no one came out. I was

00:42:53.559 --> 00:42:56.230
trying to see who owned it. I'm like, okay. Okay,

00:42:56.230 --> 00:42:58.110
come on. Someone's got to come out. Someone's

00:42:58.110 --> 00:43:00.150
got to come out. I waited as long as I could,

00:43:00.210 --> 00:43:01.630
but we were running late, so I had to leave.

00:43:02.150 --> 00:43:04.730
A lot of those places in Eureka Springs, they

00:43:04.730 --> 00:43:06.869
give you a couple hours to show up. They're like,

00:43:06.949 --> 00:43:09.769
the guy's only going to be there until 4, so

00:43:09.769 --> 00:43:11.750
you better get there to get the key. So it was

00:43:11.750 --> 00:43:13.349
one of those deals. But I just thought that was

00:43:13.349 --> 00:43:17.329
fun. Dirt hay. All right, we're going to get

00:43:17.329 --> 00:43:22.110
to these emails here. Sound good? You know I

00:43:22.110 --> 00:43:24.869
love them. All right. Mark, what would be your

00:43:24.869 --> 00:43:27.369
favorite musician autobiography? What would be

00:43:27.369 --> 00:43:33.170
the worst? Lenny in Houston. Geezer Butler in

00:43:33.170 --> 00:43:36.070
To the Void was my all -time favorite. That thing

00:43:36.070 --> 00:43:40.550
was so honest. It was fantastic. And then it's

00:43:40.550 --> 00:43:43.329
followed closely by Iron Man by Tony Iommi, his

00:43:43.329 --> 00:43:46.769
autobiography. And a firm third would probably

00:43:46.769 --> 00:43:51.349
be Bob Daisley for fact's sake. and then probably

00:43:51.349 --> 00:43:55.210
Glenn Hughes' official autobiography, and I Am

00:43:55.210 --> 00:43:58.570
Ozzy, of course, by Ozzy. The worst one, I would

00:43:58.570 --> 00:44:01.829
say, would be Dio's autobiography. It was horrible,

00:44:01.869 --> 00:44:05.510
in my opinion. But it came out 11 years after

00:44:05.510 --> 00:44:07.329
his death, so I'm betting it wasn't finished

00:44:07.329 --> 00:44:09.170
yet, and they just put a bunch of filler in there.

00:44:09.889 --> 00:44:13.050
Because the reason I like the ones that I do

00:44:13.050 --> 00:44:15.739
so well is because of how honest they are. You

00:44:15.739 --> 00:44:17.380
know, Geezer Butler's talking about his part

00:44:17.380 --> 00:44:19.619
in the Sabbath breakup and his part in this and

00:44:19.619 --> 00:44:22.260
that and how he really felt about some of the

00:44:22.260 --> 00:44:24.260
band members, how he felt about their wives.

00:44:24.420 --> 00:44:26.960
He was just really honest, and he didn't hold

00:44:26.960 --> 00:44:29.860
back. He told everything. Tony Iommi was really

00:44:29.860 --> 00:44:33.260
good, too. He told a lot, too, about his drug

00:44:33.260 --> 00:44:37.340
problems, everything. And so did Glenn Hughes.

00:44:37.460 --> 00:44:42.300
I really appreciate that. And Bob Daisley just

00:44:42.300 --> 00:44:44.739
tells like inside stories about stuff that you're

00:44:44.739 --> 00:44:46.760
like going, wow, because he's in Uriah Heep,

00:44:46.780 --> 00:44:51.739
Rainbow, Blizzard of Oz, Black Sabbath. I mean,

00:44:51.760 --> 00:44:55.039
he is in all these bands. And he has all these

00:44:55.039 --> 00:44:56.840
neat little stories that a lot of them forgot

00:44:56.840 --> 00:44:59.139
because they were too fucked up. And he didn't

00:44:59.139 --> 00:45:02.460
do stuff like that. So he remembered them. And

00:45:02.460 --> 00:45:04.860
then, like I said, the Aussie was really good.

00:45:04.900 --> 00:45:07.880
He was honest, too. But it was stuff that was

00:45:07.880 --> 00:45:11.159
more known. instead of stuff that was not known.

00:45:11.280 --> 00:45:14.099
You know what I mean? Where Tony Iommi and Glenn

00:45:14.099 --> 00:45:17.440
Hughes and Gieser Butler told about stuff that

00:45:17.440 --> 00:45:20.800
was not known, you know? And I thought that that

00:45:20.800 --> 00:45:22.920
was really good. It was like, wow, I didn't realize

00:45:22.920 --> 00:45:24.739
that happened. I didn't realize that happened.

00:45:25.179 --> 00:45:28.820
So, and then the DL1, I don't think it was completed.

00:45:29.260 --> 00:45:31.699
Like I said, it was put out 11 years after his

00:45:31.699 --> 00:45:33.820
death. So I think that they put a bunch of filler

00:45:33.820 --> 00:45:38.769
just to get it out. So, all right. Rob, do you

00:45:38.769 --> 00:45:41.230
have any cool old bandanas? If so, could I have

00:45:41.230 --> 00:45:43.949
one? I really would like a Skinnered one. Jamie.

00:45:44.110 --> 00:45:50.630
Don't say where he's from. Jamie could be a girl.

00:45:51.289 --> 00:45:55.630
Could be? I have a cousin, Jamie, that is a girl.

00:45:56.170 --> 00:46:00.650
You think it might be her? No, I don't. Okay.

00:46:06.110 --> 00:46:09.690
My old ones are on my wall right now. You can

00:46:09.690 --> 00:46:12.130
order them online, Jamie. They don't cost that

00:46:12.130 --> 00:46:17.409
much. No, I think she wants one for me. That's

00:46:17.409 --> 00:46:22.610
what it sounds like. He or she wants one for

00:46:22.610 --> 00:46:26.510
me personally. No, I do not. Jamie, do you want

00:46:26.510 --> 00:46:28.789
it like autographed, like with a Sharpie or something

00:46:28.789 --> 00:46:33.190
maybe? You want Rob Rad's signature on it, possibly?

00:46:35.900 --> 00:46:40.579
Now, wait a second. I think I do have a red one

00:46:40.579 --> 00:46:46.239
in my drawer in my bedroom. Score, Jamie. I might

00:46:46.239 --> 00:46:50.099
have one. Jamie, write us back. Write us back.

00:46:50.139 --> 00:46:52.980
Let us know where it is. Let me know. There you

00:46:52.980 --> 00:46:55.679
go. Rob Rad's willing to give you a Skinnered

00:46:55.679 --> 00:47:00.960
bandana. That's pretty cool. No, it's not a Skinnered,

00:47:00.960 --> 00:47:04.130
just a red bandana. Okay, Jamie, that's what

00:47:04.130 --> 00:47:05.969
you get, a red bandana. That's all he's got.

00:47:06.190 --> 00:47:10.829
Yeah, just a typical red one. Okay, no Skinnered

00:47:10.829 --> 00:47:15.889
for you, sorry. If it was Skinnered, that thing

00:47:15.889 --> 00:47:20.090
would be on my wall. There you go, Jamie. But

00:47:20.090 --> 00:47:25.920
anyway. How do they come up with this shit? Okay.

00:47:26.119 --> 00:47:30.179
I love it. I do. Like I said, these guys are

00:47:30.179 --> 00:47:32.179
better than us. They need their own podcast,

00:47:32.380 --> 00:47:36.820
I swear. But I'm serious. No, I'm serious. I'll

00:47:36.820 --> 00:47:39.460
sign it and send it to them if they want this

00:47:39.460 --> 00:47:42.139
red one. What if they want ass prints? Would

00:47:42.139 --> 00:47:46.079
you, like, paint up your ass? Get the info for

00:47:46.079 --> 00:47:52.360
me, Mark. I'll sign it. Rob Red. And I will send

00:47:52.360 --> 00:47:55.550
it to them. Okay. There you go, Jamie. Write

00:47:55.550 --> 00:47:59.849
us back. All right. Hey, guys. I'm headed back

00:47:59.849 --> 00:48:03.269
home to my home in South Central Cass County.

00:48:03.510 --> 00:48:05.829
Do you guys want a Goober Burger? I'm going through

00:48:05.829 --> 00:48:11.210
Sedalia to get home. Mitch on Highway 65. What

00:48:11.210 --> 00:48:19.840
a dick. I love him. Mitch, you just drove. You

00:48:19.840 --> 00:48:25.480
were just an hour north of me. Asshole, you couldn't

00:48:25.480 --> 00:48:28.039
stop by here and see me. Yeah, I want a Goober

00:48:28.039 --> 00:48:31.280
Burger. Do you? I'm right here in Canton. He's

00:48:31.280 --> 00:48:33.260
got a backtrack to give you your Goober Burger.

00:48:37.360 --> 00:48:40.059
If anyone doesn't know what a Goober Burger is,

00:48:40.119 --> 00:48:44.000
allegedly they were invented in Sedalia, Missouri

00:48:44.000 --> 00:48:47.329
at the Wagon Wheel Restaurant. It's peanut butter

00:48:47.329 --> 00:48:50.949
on your hamburger or cheeseburger. And they are

00:48:50.949 --> 00:48:53.269
good, though. They are surprising. Oh, good.

00:48:53.610 --> 00:48:56.889
I would love one. Yeah. Supposedly you put a

00:48:56.889 --> 00:48:59.449
little banana in that, and that was Elvis' treat.

00:48:59.530 --> 00:49:02.769
He loved them. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Banana adds

00:49:02.769 --> 00:49:06.570
everything to it. Oh, shit. I forgot to give

00:49:06.570 --> 00:49:09.969
you this earlier today. What? We're going to

00:49:09.969 --> 00:49:12.510
have to do it next one. What is your top seven

00:49:12.510 --> 00:49:17.840
favorite concerts? Ronnie in Tulsa, Tulsa King.

00:49:20.659 --> 00:49:23.320
Top seven favorite concerts. Okay, Ronnie, I

00:49:23.320 --> 00:49:26.719
dropped the ball. That will be Sunday night.

00:49:26.960 --> 00:49:29.500
I was busy today, like I said, with medical stuff,

00:49:29.619 --> 00:49:33.480
so I really didn't have the time to do this myself.

00:49:33.860 --> 00:49:36.119
So Sunday night we will have them, and right

00:49:36.119 --> 00:49:38.179
back at you too, Ronnie. Come up with yours.

00:49:41.119 --> 00:49:44.000
He loves that. Oh, I know he does. I know he

00:49:44.000 --> 00:49:46.599
does. As soon as he hears this, he's like, these

00:49:46.599 --> 00:49:50.179
fuckers. You asshole, you should get right back

00:49:50.179 --> 00:49:56.840
to me. Ronnie, Ronnie, Ronnie, before you email,

00:49:56.960 --> 00:50:01.219
just have your list prepared. Yes. Yeah, yeah,

00:50:01.239 --> 00:50:05.079
have it there. Write it down. We already see

00:50:05.079 --> 00:50:14.650
how Mark is. Yes, yes. I have other questions,

00:50:14.710 --> 00:50:17.489
but Mark keeps throwing these back at you. I

00:50:17.489 --> 00:50:20.429
downloaded these this morning, and I was fully

00:50:20.429 --> 00:50:22.650
aware of them because I did read them, but then

00:50:22.650 --> 00:50:24.550
I had to go to my appointments, and by the time

00:50:24.550 --> 00:50:27.429
I got back, I'd forgotten about them. So I apologize,

00:50:27.550 --> 00:50:31.389
but we'll all have them Sunday then. And then

00:50:31.389 --> 00:50:35.130
finally, who? Okay, okay. Well, while we're talking

00:50:35.130 --> 00:50:40.579
about Tulsa King, let me throw one at him. Cool.

00:50:40.579 --> 00:50:44.539
I want to know what his favorite, his top seven

00:50:44.539 --> 00:50:49.000
movies are. Oh, there you go. Two of them. I'm

00:50:49.000 --> 00:50:52.019
challenging him. Well, he's already asked for

00:50:52.019 --> 00:50:56.800
ours. Oh, we never did give him, did we? I want

00:50:56.800 --> 00:51:01.679
to know, I want to know what his, no, we've already

00:51:01.679 --> 00:51:05.840
mentioned them. Oh, that's right, we did. He

00:51:05.840 --> 00:51:07.739
never did get back with us, did he? Unless he,

00:51:07.880 --> 00:51:10.719
okay. To be fair. No, no, we never challenged

00:51:10.719 --> 00:51:13.519
him on it. Oh, that's what it was. He was too

00:51:13.519 --> 00:51:17.599
busy throwing it. We just started, well, you

00:51:17.599 --> 00:51:21.239
just started throwing the challenges at it. Yeah,

00:51:21.239 --> 00:51:24.820
that's right. I interrupted you. No, I, yeah.

00:51:26.940 --> 00:51:29.900
Ronnie, I want to know your top seven movies.

00:51:30.639 --> 00:51:32.800
Okay, and then after that, you can come up with

00:51:32.800 --> 00:51:35.199
your top seven concerts, unless you can do them

00:51:35.199 --> 00:51:38.099
both. All 14 of them do it. If you want to do

00:51:38.099 --> 00:51:40.000
that first, that's fine, and then do the top

00:51:40.000 --> 00:51:42.719
seven concerts second. Do it every night. Yeah,

00:51:42.739 --> 00:51:46.579
let's do the concerts since you got us busy on

00:51:46.579 --> 00:51:49.699
it. Then, in your spare time, work on it. Work

00:51:49.699 --> 00:51:51.260
on that and then just give it to us when you

00:51:51.260 --> 00:51:55.340
can. All right. Yeah. And then finally, who was

00:51:55.340 --> 00:51:57.679
a better guitarist, Zach Wilder or Nuno Betancourt?

00:51:57.840 --> 00:52:01.480
No name. I don't know if I can pick a favorite,

00:52:01.559 --> 00:52:07.530
Rob. You? Yes. I love them both. They're different

00:52:07.530 --> 00:52:11.710
styles. Yes, I do too. They both can play guitar

00:52:11.710 --> 00:52:16.010
masterfully. They're both fast. They're both

00:52:16.010 --> 00:52:21.309
precise. They're both melodic. They have a great

00:52:21.309 --> 00:52:24.710
deal of passion. They both look cool. I mean,

00:52:24.829 --> 00:52:28.610
I don't know. I love them both probably pretty

00:52:28.610 --> 00:52:34.159
much equally. You, Rob? Actually, I feel kind

00:52:34.159 --> 00:52:40.460
of the same way. I mean, yeah, they... I love

00:52:40.460 --> 00:52:44.300
both their sounds. Well, No Name didn't tell

00:52:44.300 --> 00:52:47.920
us which one they liked better. So, No Name,

00:52:48.039 --> 00:52:52.260
will you write us back and let us know if you

00:52:52.260 --> 00:52:54.599
have a definitive favorite or if you like us

00:52:54.599 --> 00:52:56.219
where you can't really pick one. They're both

00:52:56.219 --> 00:53:01.400
just insanely good. Yeah, those two, you could...

00:53:02.079 --> 00:53:05.519
You could not choose between these two. Actually,

00:53:05.920 --> 00:53:10.019
I don't think. Yeah. This is pretty neat because

00:53:10.019 --> 00:53:13.099
this wasn't even sent at the music creeps. This

00:53:13.099 --> 00:53:17.579
was sent at us. Right. Right. And so. The music

00:53:17.579 --> 00:53:19.539
creeps is not getting, and neither are the sports

00:53:19.539 --> 00:53:21.539
pastors, they're not getting very many emails,

00:53:21.679 --> 00:53:25.099
which is, I encourage if you have something that

00:53:25.099 --> 00:53:26.840
you want to talk about or something that you

00:53:26.840 --> 00:53:29.280
think we said wrong or something you want to

00:53:29.280 --> 00:53:31.940
bring up to either one of those, email the same

00:53:31.940 --> 00:53:37.639
one here until we change it. All right, Rob,

00:53:38.039 --> 00:53:43.559
you got something you want to go into? Damn,

00:53:43.559 --> 00:53:45.780
I thought we had another email, too. Hang on,

00:53:45.840 --> 00:53:49.179
let me pull it up. Oh, no. No, that's it. I do.

00:53:49.400 --> 00:53:53.500
I do. I do. Okay. And I like this story. Okay.

00:53:54.159 --> 00:54:02.659
That was good. Okay. 60s rock legend Roger Daltrey,

00:54:02.880 --> 00:54:06.739
the lead singer of The Who, said he's feeling

00:54:06.739 --> 00:54:12.079
the effects of age. Losing his sight. as well

00:54:12.079 --> 00:54:18.019
as his hearing. While raising money from the

00:54:18.019 --> 00:54:22.880
Teenage Cancer Trust, Doctry spoke from the stage

00:54:22.880 --> 00:54:28.699
during a performance. The 81 -year -old singer

00:54:28.699 --> 00:54:34.679
likened his struggle to that of one of his band's

00:54:34.679 --> 00:54:38.179
most famous creations, according to the set.

00:54:41.099 --> 00:54:47.360
The joys of getting old mean you go deaf. I also

00:54:47.360 --> 00:54:52.679
know I have to get the joy of going blind, Beltre

00:54:52.679 --> 00:54:55.960
said, while wearing purple tinted sunglasses,

00:54:56.539 --> 00:55:03.260
which he's known for. Wow. Fortunately, I still

00:55:03.260 --> 00:55:08.860
have my voice because then I will have a full

00:55:08.860 --> 00:55:20.369
Tommy. Wow. You talk about ironic. I guess it'd

00:55:20.369 --> 00:55:25.889
be ironic, wouldn't it? Tommy, of course, is

00:55:25.889 --> 00:55:30.710
the name of the Who's celebrated 1969 rock opera

00:55:30.710 --> 00:55:34.809
later made into a film about a man named Tommy

00:55:34.809 --> 00:55:40.570
Walker who becomes deaf, blind, and unable to

00:55:40.570 --> 00:55:45.840
speak. And can play a mean piano. The song Pinball

00:55:45.840 --> 00:55:53.340
Wizard details his prowess with the game. Daughtry

00:55:53.340 --> 00:55:58.239
is a patron of the Cancer Trust and a group have

00:55:58.239 --> 00:56:02.539
been giving benefit concerts for charity for

00:56:02.539 --> 00:56:08.429
more than 20 years. Wow. Yeah, so Roger Godfrey's

00:56:08.429 --> 00:56:11.230
been doing these free concerts for over 20 years.

00:56:11.429 --> 00:56:14.250
Had no idea. Man, that's good. For the Teenage

00:56:14.250 --> 00:56:18.869
Cancer Trust. That's right. Yeah, this is one

00:56:18.869 --> 00:56:22.670
of those stories. Mm -hmm. I thought it was all

00:56:22.670 --> 00:56:26.769
right talking, you know, reading about him going

00:56:26.769 --> 00:56:31.429
blind to death. But then I really got to reading

00:56:31.429 --> 00:56:36.039
into it. He goes deeper like this cancer trust

00:56:36.039 --> 00:56:42.840
deal, man. Guitarist Pete Townsend, 79, also

00:56:42.840 --> 00:56:46.719
joked about his knee replacement. Well, admitting

00:56:46.719 --> 00:56:50.519
it was nothing compared to what the patients

00:56:50.519 --> 00:56:55.760
in the teenage cancer trust deal with. Maybe

00:56:55.760 --> 00:57:03.130
I should oxen off the old one, me, he said. Well,

00:57:03.130 --> 00:57:06.929
John had one done, and he wears his as a bracelet.

00:57:07.489 --> 00:57:10.369
Oh, wow. Unfortunately, mine's in three bits.

00:57:12.469 --> 00:57:15.750
Daughtry and Townsend have said for several years

00:57:15.750 --> 00:57:18.429
that they were nearing the end of their careers.

00:57:20.010 --> 00:57:27.489
Wow. Wow. So, yeah, well, I mean, he's 82. I

00:57:27.489 --> 00:57:36.840
get it. I mean, actually, in all fairness, I

00:57:36.840 --> 00:57:39.519
mean, with all the stuff that they've done, I'm

00:57:39.519 --> 00:57:41.420
sure they probably look in the mirror and go,

00:57:41.500 --> 00:57:47.800
I'm lucky to be here. Yeah. So, wow. Good job,

00:57:47.960 --> 00:57:52.539
Roger. Like you said, at least he still has his

00:57:52.539 --> 00:57:55.820
voice. Yeah, yeah. And you know what? That's

00:57:55.820 --> 00:58:00.289
probably going to keep him happy. You know? Without

00:58:00.289 --> 00:58:06.269
his voice, he's Tommy. I know. When you said

00:58:06.269 --> 00:58:07.630
that, it caught me off guard. I'm like, wow.

00:58:08.250 --> 00:58:11.530
He already sung about himself. He needs to get

00:58:11.530 --> 00:58:13.690
good at pinball. I love how he embraced it. I

00:58:13.690 --> 00:58:16.429
love how he embraced it. He needs to get good

00:58:16.429 --> 00:58:20.750
at pinball. I do, too. I love the way he embraced

00:58:20.750 --> 00:58:24.250
it, too. He grew up in the UK. I imagine he is.

00:58:24.530 --> 00:58:28.659
Okay. Oh, Rob, what did you think of the new

00:58:28.659 --> 00:58:32.940
parody? Have you heard it? Which one? The one

00:58:32.940 --> 00:58:35.179
about your penis getting bit off by a parakeet.

00:58:36.360 --> 00:58:42.420
Oh, I loved it. Actually, that did fucking hurt.

00:58:43.019 --> 00:58:49.280
It did hurt. I bet it did. Yes, it did. Yeah,

00:58:49.280 --> 00:58:51.739
those are pretty good screams you let out. That

00:58:51.739 --> 00:58:56.840
was first thing in the morning, man. Something

00:58:56.840 --> 00:58:59.380
like that. Yeah, your day's shot after something

00:58:59.380 --> 00:59:01.940
like that. Yeah, yeah. You get your penis bit

00:59:01.940 --> 00:59:03.980
off by a parakeet, that's pretty much end your

00:59:03.980 --> 00:59:08.679
day. Yeah. Did they reattach it, or you just

00:59:08.679 --> 00:59:14.840
don't have one now? No, it got reattached. Okay,

00:59:14.880 --> 00:59:20.719
good, good. So your Franken -penis? Yeah, well,

00:59:21.000 --> 00:59:23.630
it's still got stitches. Oh, okay. Hopefully

00:59:23.630 --> 00:59:26.610
it heals up good. That way you're not... Okay.

00:59:27.349 --> 00:59:31.710
Maybe they can do skin grafts or something. Alright,

00:59:31.929 --> 00:59:34.070
let's take our second break and we'll be right

00:59:34.070 --> 00:59:38.210
back. Sound like a winner? Yeah, I need to after

00:59:38.210 --> 00:59:52.070
that. Thank you. Okay, cool. Rob consumed small

00:59:52.070 --> 00:59:55.670
doses of radiation for 30 years. 30 years. Rob

00:59:55.670 --> 01:00:00.389
is immune to radiation. Watch him glow. Watch

01:00:00.389 --> 01:00:04.429
Rob Ray jump up 25 feet and grab birds out of

01:00:04.429 --> 01:00:08.710
thin air with his mouth. With his mouth. Rob

01:00:08.710 --> 01:00:11.570
can now be lent it for children's parties and

01:00:11.570 --> 01:00:15.400
barments, fellas. That's right. Come on and rent

01:00:15.400 --> 01:00:18.719
you a rock today. That's right. Come by and rent

01:00:18.719 --> 01:00:24.260
Rob for a day. A day. A day. Watch Rob consume

01:00:24.260 --> 01:00:27.119
seven bottles of night cream and still break

01:00:27.119 --> 01:00:31.739
dance and new walk. Watch Rob Red. Fart down

01:00:31.739 --> 01:00:36.500
a building. Fart down a building. Rob Red assumes

01:00:36.500 --> 01:00:39.219
no responsibility whatsoever. He is not a babysitter

01:00:39.219 --> 01:00:40.820
and he doesn't give one house a shit about your

01:00:40.820 --> 01:00:42.880
children. Please remember to corral every little

01:00:42.880 --> 01:00:45.380
bastard you have. Before Lobb gets there, and

01:00:45.380 --> 01:00:47.639
Wald will not put up with any backtalk, he will

01:00:47.639 --> 01:00:49.840
promptly get them in the place. Robb Bragg assumes

01:00:49.840 --> 01:00:51.960
no responsibility for anything that could be

01:00:51.960 --> 01:00:54.519
stolen from his visit. Robb Bragg has no responsibility

01:00:54.519 --> 01:00:58.059
whatsoever in any outcome of any situation. Read

01:00:58.059 --> 01:01:40.079
a Robb today. Your mama's so fat, when she fell

01:01:40.079 --> 01:01:44.119
in love, she broke it. Yes, it's true. Mark is

01:01:44.119 --> 01:01:47.119
an old bastard. It's also true that Mark uses

01:01:47.119 --> 01:01:50.420
a lot of ibuprofen. But Mark would like to tell

01:01:50.420 --> 01:01:54.239
you, if you see any pictures of him roofing ibuprofen,

01:01:54.340 --> 01:01:57.780
it's obviously fake, and you're to take the pictures

01:01:57.780 --> 01:02:01.179
and tear them up immediately. Please remember

01:02:01.179 --> 01:02:03.679
to go to Cole's dressing room, wait five minutes,

01:02:03.719 --> 01:02:06.659
and scream, Hey, there's no toilet paper in here!

01:02:12.590 --> 01:02:14.969
Now it's time for Pickup Lines from a Loser.

01:02:15.050 --> 01:02:17.250
Are you a parking ticket? You got fine written

01:02:17.250 --> 01:02:23.789
all over you. Harambe used to listen to our original

01:02:23.789 --> 01:02:26.530
show, Too Dipshits and Cheap Radio Shack Realistic

01:02:26.530 --> 01:02:29.789
Tape Recorder. Harambe does not listen to our

01:02:29.789 --> 01:02:32.250
original show, Too Dipshits and Cheap Radio Shack

01:02:32.250 --> 01:02:35.650
Realistic Tape Recorder anymore. You might ask

01:02:35.650 --> 01:02:38.230
why Harambe never listens to our original show,

01:02:38.349 --> 01:02:40.489
Too Dipshits and Cheap Radio Shack Realistic

01:02:40.489 --> 01:02:43.719
Tape Recorder. Well, it's because Harambe is

01:02:43.719 --> 01:02:46.380
dead. Senselessly murdered because some idiot

01:02:46.380 --> 01:02:48.480
did not watch her child properly while looking

01:02:48.480 --> 01:02:51.300
on her phone. Sadly, Harambe does not listen

01:02:51.300 --> 01:02:53.480
to our original show, Two Gypsies and the Cheap

01:02:53.480 --> 01:02:56.260
Radio Shack Realistic Take Recorder, or any other

01:02:56.260 --> 01:03:01.340
show. Anymore. Sorry, Harambe. Somewhere in the

01:03:01.340 --> 01:03:03.760
heavens, your great Grammy Gertrude is crying

01:03:03.760 --> 01:03:07.000
because her little Bebo is listening to this

01:03:07.000 --> 01:03:20.849
film. Two douchebags and microphone. I'm Mark

01:03:20.849 --> 01:03:25.449
here in the Kansas City Metroplex. And I am Rob

01:03:25.449 --> 01:03:28.969
at the beautiful Langmore Marble Lake of the

01:03:28.969 --> 01:03:32.710
Ozarks. Perfect, Rob. Great job. Told you I've

01:03:32.710 --> 01:03:38.750
been working on it. I can tell. I'm getting ready

01:03:38.750 --> 01:03:40.650
to talk about our old friends, the Gen Zers.

01:03:40.710 --> 01:03:42.590
We love them, right? We think they're awesome.

01:03:43.090 --> 01:03:46.769
Yeah. Getting there. Yeah, yeah. I mean, really,

01:03:46.849 --> 01:03:48.469
we're kind of admiring them a little bit. They

01:03:48.469 --> 01:03:51.130
got a lot of oomph to them, and they got a lot

01:03:51.130 --> 01:03:55.409
of conviction to how they feel. So here is the

01:03:55.409 --> 01:03:59.869
latest. Gen Z employees are never at their desks,

01:03:59.869 --> 01:04:03.849
and it's driving their bosses crazy. Gen Zers

01:04:03.849 --> 01:04:07.630
are actively fleeing their desks for a very 2025

01:04:07.630 --> 01:04:10.829
reason. If you're wondering where all the young

01:04:10.829 --> 01:04:13.860
office workers are, check your watch. It might

01:04:13.860 --> 01:04:18.039
be sweet treat time. With their firm boundaries,

01:04:18.260 --> 01:04:20.619
baggy jeans, and roll -dye approach to nutritional

01:04:20.619 --> 01:04:23.880
structures, the youngest work generation has

01:04:23.880 --> 01:04:27.679
introduced snack time into office life. I see

01:04:27.679 --> 01:04:30.380
nothing wrong with that, do you? I see nothing

01:04:30.380 --> 01:04:38.179
wrong with that at all. We get to snack and drink

01:04:38.179 --> 01:04:43.250
as we work. It's no big deal to us. Yeah, we

01:04:43.250 --> 01:04:46.989
just got it in like standing up. It sounds to

01:04:46.989 --> 01:04:49.469
me like they go somewhere and do this, so I get

01:04:49.469 --> 01:04:52.090
it, to get away from everything. Millennial PR

01:04:52.090 --> 01:04:55.190
boss Grace Garrick, 30, has hired a number of

01:04:55.190 --> 01:04:59.369
Gen Zers for her successful agency, MVMNT, and

01:04:59.369 --> 01:05:01.250
she's become very familiar with the culture of

01:05:01.250 --> 01:05:03.469
young workers needing many breaks in the day.

01:05:04.610 --> 01:05:08.369
Garrick told News .com AU. She considers herself

01:05:08.369 --> 01:05:10.750
an expert in this area because her local Easy

01:05:10.750 --> 01:05:13.969
Mart knows all her Gen Z staffers, not just by

01:05:13.969 --> 01:05:17.590
face, but by name. The 3 p .m. sugar break is

01:05:17.590 --> 01:05:19.809
more than just getting over that afternoon slump.

01:05:20.110 --> 01:05:22.969
It's a movement of self -care and indulgence,

01:05:23.090 --> 01:05:26.610
she explained. When you're adulting, there feels

01:05:26.610 --> 01:05:30.250
like a constant to -do list. And the 3 p .m.

01:05:30.250 --> 01:05:32.510
sugar break lets us go back to simpler times

01:05:32.510 --> 01:05:34.809
of childhood, like getting a sweet treat at the

01:05:34.809 --> 01:05:40.920
local corner store. Among the corporations and

01:05:40.920 --> 01:05:46.920
life and everything expanded into your day, this

01:05:46.920 --> 01:05:51.099
is a retreat that takes you back to your childhood.

01:05:51.340 --> 01:05:54.320
So that's another thing I see eye to eye with.

01:05:55.739 --> 01:05:58.539
You know, we always admitted we're very nostalgic

01:05:58.539 --> 01:06:01.760
and we love things out of our childhood and we

01:06:01.760 --> 01:06:06.280
cherish things of it. keepsakes and souvenirs

01:06:06.280 --> 01:06:09.440
and all that of growing up. So what they're doing

01:06:09.440 --> 01:06:11.440
is no different. What they're doing is they're

01:06:11.440 --> 01:06:13.760
going and getting a little Debbie and thinking

01:06:13.760 --> 01:06:16.800
back when they were young and they went to the

01:06:16.800 --> 01:06:20.039
corner store and got a little Debbie there. So

01:06:20.039 --> 01:06:23.719
I like it. I think that's a great idea. And I

01:06:23.719 --> 01:06:25.860
bet you it's great for stress relief too, wouldn't

01:06:25.860 --> 01:06:30.289
you think? Yeah, you know, they're kind of like,

01:06:30.309 --> 01:06:31.750
eh, things are getting a little hectic. I think

01:06:31.750 --> 01:06:33.269
I'm going to go get my sweet treat. It's almost

01:06:33.269 --> 01:06:36.869
three. They go to the corner store, you know,

01:06:36.869 --> 01:06:38.690
bullshit for a little while, eat their sweet

01:06:38.690 --> 01:06:41.530
treat, then come back and they're refreshed.

01:06:42.389 --> 01:06:45.409
Sounds good to me. All right, that's all I have

01:06:45.409 --> 01:06:47.550
with that one. I mean, I just thought it deserved

01:06:47.550 --> 01:06:52.610
a mentioning because I agree with it. Yeah, I

01:06:52.610 --> 01:06:57.650
do too. All right, Rob, you got something? Yeah,

01:06:57.650 --> 01:07:02.139
I do. You know how you keep mentioning Snow White?

01:07:02.780 --> 01:07:11.400
Yes. I have no results so far. Yeah, I've heard.

01:07:11.480 --> 01:07:21.219
Go ahead. This is embarrassing. Disney's live

01:07:21.219 --> 01:07:24.460
-action remake of Snow White, which has been

01:07:24.460 --> 01:07:29.989
mired by controversy, Overstar Rachel Ziegler's

01:07:29.989 --> 01:07:33.250
comments, Steve Redding, Israel, Donald Trump,

01:07:33.309 --> 01:07:38.110
and even the Mouse House, is expected to lose

01:07:38.110 --> 01:07:44.250
approximately $115 million, according to a report.

01:07:46.570 --> 01:07:48.969
That's what they're going to lose. That is nice.

01:07:51.480 --> 01:07:55.159
The movie, which premiered on March 21st, earned

01:07:55.159 --> 01:08:01.800
$14 .2 million, domesticatingly, in its second

01:08:01.800 --> 01:08:08.039
weekend, a drop of 66%, putting its total worldwide

01:08:08.039 --> 01:08:14.460
gross at $143 .1 million, distributed sources

01:08:14.460 --> 01:08:21.039
told Deadline. Detailed forecast suggests the

01:08:21.039 --> 01:08:26.579
film would generate approximately 295 million.

01:08:42.640 --> 01:08:45.939
forecast suggests the film would generate approximately

01:08:45.939 --> 01:08:53.000
$295 million in total revenues. Okay. Including

01:08:53.000 --> 01:09:00.640
$109 million or $101 million for global theatrical

01:09:00.640 --> 01:09:05.899
rentals, $62 million from home entertainment

01:09:05.899 --> 01:09:11.029
sales, $100 million $230 million from streaming

01:09:11.029 --> 01:09:14.810
the television rights and an additional $2 million

01:09:14.810 --> 01:09:21.050
from merchandise. Okay. That will fall short

01:09:21.050 --> 01:09:26.670
from the $410 million it costs to make the film.

01:09:27.369 --> 01:09:33.289
Wow. The inflated costs include $270 million

01:09:33.289 --> 01:09:39.329
for production alone. Mm -hmm. driven up by production

01:09:39.329 --> 01:09:44.510
delays caused by industry strikes and a fire

01:09:44.510 --> 01:09:48.949
that erupted on the set in the film in the UK.

01:09:52.289 --> 01:09:57.729
Wow. I'm just going to stop right there. You

01:09:57.729 --> 01:10:03.050
got the point across, Rob. Yeah, that movie is

01:10:03.050 --> 01:10:07.539
going broke. Well, I mean, the sad thing is,

01:10:07.539 --> 01:10:11.119
is this right here. I mean, we don't have to

01:10:11.119 --> 01:10:13.220
say anything more about it. It speaks for itself,

01:10:13.399 --> 01:10:17.739
doesn't it? Yeah, well, they're estimating they're

01:10:17.739 --> 01:10:20.760
going to lose like $115 million on the show.

01:10:23.659 --> 01:10:25.300
Maybe it'll be a lesson learned. That's what

01:10:25.300 --> 01:10:29.960
they're estimating. But I doubt it. Yeah, keep

01:10:29.960 --> 01:10:34.369
your damn actor's mouth shut. Yes. And give us

01:10:34.369 --> 01:10:40.569
a movie, not a thought of the day. All right.

01:10:41.609 --> 01:10:47.250
Do you know what soft launching is? No. Okay.

01:10:47.489 --> 01:10:52.069
That would be interesting. It is. Okay, soft

01:10:52.069 --> 01:10:56.329
launching is a newer term, and they use it to

01:10:56.329 --> 01:10:59.489
your advantage. You can use it to your advantage

01:10:59.489 --> 01:11:02.369
if you need to in the context of relationships

01:11:02.369 --> 01:11:05.670
and social media. Soft launching means suddenly

01:11:05.670 --> 01:11:08.789
introducing a new partner to your online presence,

01:11:09.090 --> 01:11:12.789
often with hints or partial images rather than

01:11:12.789 --> 01:11:16.529
a full explicit announcement. Here's a more detailed

01:11:16.529 --> 01:11:20.409
explanation. Subtle introduction. Instead of

01:11:20.409 --> 01:11:22.189
posting a picture of you and your partner together,

01:11:22.409 --> 01:11:24.930
you might share a photo of their hand holding

01:11:24.930 --> 01:11:27.680
yours. or a picture of the two of you in the

01:11:27.680 --> 01:11:31.920
same location without showing their face. So,

01:11:32.060 --> 01:11:35.319
why do people do soft launches? This is what

01:11:35.319 --> 01:11:38.479
they say. Some reasons are for soft launching

01:11:38.479 --> 01:11:40.479
include wanting to keep the relationship private,

01:11:40.699 --> 01:11:44.659
avoid potential drama or scrutiny, or simply

01:11:44.659 --> 01:11:48.279
enjoy the early stages of the relationship without

01:11:48.279 --> 01:11:53.020
immediate public pressure. Example, a photo of

01:11:53.020 --> 01:11:55.069
two drinks on a table. With the hand of your

01:11:55.069 --> 01:11:57.949
partner subtly visible. A picture of you both

01:11:57.949 --> 01:11:59.930
in a restaurant, but only shown the back of your

01:11:59.930 --> 01:12:02.810
partner's head. A picture of a pair of hands

01:12:02.810 --> 01:12:04.890
holding each other in contrast with hard launch.

01:12:05.729 --> 01:12:09.149
A hard launch would be a full public announcement

01:12:09.149 --> 01:12:12.409
of the relationship, often with a photo of the

01:12:12.409 --> 01:12:16.829
couple together. So, I got some feelings on this,

01:12:16.850 --> 01:12:18.229
Rob, and then I want to hear yours. Does that

01:12:18.229 --> 01:12:20.050
sound like something you want to get into here?

01:12:23.090 --> 01:12:28.359
Yeah. Okay. All right. I was a little busy during

01:12:28.359 --> 01:12:33.840
part of the story. What happened? I was writing.

01:12:34.659 --> 01:12:42.159
Oh. Okay. I'm working on a podcast. Okay. Well,

01:12:42.300 --> 01:12:46.439
my feelings are this. A soft launch would indicate

01:12:46.439 --> 01:12:49.100
to me that the person soft launching is actually

01:12:49.100 --> 01:12:51.859
not that committed, and it's an invitation to

01:12:51.859 --> 01:12:54.720
open hunting season. Personally, I would be somewhat

01:12:54.720 --> 01:12:59.479
insulted by a soft launch. Oh, yeah, that's what

01:12:59.479 --> 01:13:02.619
a soft launch is. Yeah, I mean, they're disguising

01:13:02.619 --> 01:13:06.399
it as something else. But if you were all in

01:13:06.399 --> 01:13:09.359
on this person, my opinion, if you're all in

01:13:09.359 --> 01:13:11.979
on this person, you don't care. You're just like,

01:13:12.060 --> 01:13:14.199
man, this is fantastic. God, it's going to last

01:13:14.199 --> 01:13:17.199
forever. We're crazy about each other. You would

01:13:17.199 --> 01:13:21.569
not. kind of hide it and beat around the bush

01:13:21.569 --> 01:13:23.250
with it, you'd be like, yeah, this is going on,

01:13:23.289 --> 01:13:25.109
and it's fantastic, guys. I want everyone to

01:13:25.109 --> 01:13:29.409
know. So to me, it's like a public, I'm here,

01:13:29.489 --> 01:13:32.670
but look, still game. That's the way I view it.

01:13:34.670 --> 01:13:39.109
So, you, Rob, you think the same, or what? Yeah,

01:13:39.149 --> 01:13:43.090
yeah, no, I agree. Yeah, soft launch, that's,

01:13:43.090 --> 01:13:49.420
that usually, yeah, you're... That's not good.

01:13:50.260 --> 01:13:54.319
I would agree. It really isn't. Yeah, I can't

01:13:54.319 --> 01:13:56.680
find the words right now. Okay, that's fine.

01:13:56.920 --> 01:13:59.319
No. All right, well, Rob, you want to go into

01:13:59.319 --> 01:14:02.319
something? Like I said, I've had a long day.

01:14:02.680 --> 01:14:05.220
Finding words right off the top of my brain ain't

01:14:05.220 --> 01:14:07.319
my best right now. All right, do you want to

01:14:07.319 --> 01:14:10.899
close this down then? No, hell no. Oh, okay.

01:14:11.000 --> 01:14:13.020
All right, keep going. You got something or you

01:14:13.020 --> 01:14:16.399
want me to go into something? Well, last night

01:14:16.399 --> 01:14:19.460
I had the world's oldest dog, and I promised

01:14:19.460 --> 01:14:22.800
the world's oldest cat. Oh, that's right. Okay.

01:14:23.579 --> 01:14:29.140
Yeah. Cats can live surprisingly long lives.

01:14:29.380 --> 01:14:32.760
They can be expected to reach their teenage years,

01:14:32.960 --> 01:14:39.119
while some can hit 20. The oldest cat ever, Cream

01:14:39.119 --> 01:14:48.239
Puff, lived to be 38 years old. Wow. The current

01:14:48.239 --> 01:14:51.579
oldest living cat, however, has celebrated what

01:14:51.579 --> 01:14:55.699
is reportedly her 30th birthday, meaning that

01:14:55.699 --> 01:15:01.640
she was born in 1995. If accurate, not only has

01:15:01.640 --> 01:15:05.140
she seen plenty of the best cat treats over the

01:15:05.140 --> 01:15:09.220
years, but this would put her close to the ages

01:15:09.220 --> 01:15:45.319
of the oldest cat on record, too. Wow. It was

01:15:45.319 --> 01:15:49.739
a fantastic day. It's such an achievement that

01:15:49.739 --> 01:15:53.979
she turned 30. I had a birthday cake made with

01:15:53.979 --> 01:15:58.880
a face on it, I'll tell you. Yeah. So Millie,

01:15:59.000 --> 01:16:07.319
in the UK, lived to be 30. Mm -hmm. Still living.

01:16:08.039 --> 01:16:11.060
Wow. Could go for the record. Yep, still living.

01:16:11.460 --> 01:16:17.739
Could go for the record. Wow. Oh, no, it's...

01:16:17.739 --> 01:16:24.640
Oh, yeah, Millie has not gotten recognized by

01:16:24.640 --> 01:16:27.680
the Guinness Book yet. Yeah, that's what I thought.

01:16:30.439 --> 01:16:35.180
But she was born in December of 95, so she should

01:16:35.180 --> 01:16:42.680
have it. Okay, cool. All right. Got anything

01:16:42.680 --> 01:16:47.859
else you want to go into, or you want to... Oh,

01:16:47.880 --> 01:16:52.579
yeah, I do. Okay, go ahead. Go ahead. I want

01:16:52.579 --> 01:16:57.159
to ask how Nugget is doing. Nugget is doing okay.

01:16:57.600 --> 01:16:59.560
We haven't had a chance to go see him in the

01:16:59.560 --> 01:17:01.640
last few days, but Nugget is doing fine, and

01:17:01.640 --> 01:17:05.380
he's referring to our goat. Yeah, you don't have,

01:17:05.619 --> 01:17:09.880
oh, he's not at home? Oh, okay. We can't keep

01:17:09.880 --> 01:17:13.680
him here. We're in the city. Okay. So our friends

01:17:13.680 --> 01:17:16.689
keep him there, but he's our goat. And this is

01:17:16.689 --> 01:17:19.430
down near Garden City, Missouri is where he's

01:17:19.430 --> 01:17:22.369
at. Okay. Yeah, we go down there and we visit

01:17:22.369 --> 01:17:25.029
him, but we don't actually per se have him on

01:17:25.029 --> 01:17:28.310
this land. But we can have him goat sitting,

01:17:28.470 --> 01:17:34.289
you see. You see what I'm saying? Yeah. Yeah,

01:17:34.289 --> 01:17:36.949
we're goat sitting for a couple of days. So we

01:17:36.949 --> 01:17:39.850
can have him here for a few days and then have

01:17:39.850 --> 01:17:42.029
to take him back. And I don't know, a week or

01:17:42.029 --> 01:17:43.909
two later, we could have him here for a few days.

01:17:44.539 --> 01:17:46.479
So we're going to start doing that, but Nugget

01:17:46.479 --> 01:17:51.079
is doing well. Oh, good. I'll tell Nugget you

01:17:51.079 --> 01:17:56.779
asked about him. Well, I have a little stuff.

01:17:57.180 --> 01:18:00.140
The reason why I was asking, because I know a

01:18:00.140 --> 01:18:03.340
few people that have not had very good luck with

01:18:03.340 --> 01:18:10.100
jokes. Me too. Me too. They become unhinged sometimes,

01:18:10.239 --> 01:18:13.300
and they fight each other, and they're mean to

01:18:13.300 --> 01:18:16.840
each other. They like to butt heads. They like

01:18:16.840 --> 01:18:23.840
to butt each other. Yeah. Yeah. I get it. Well,

01:18:24.039 --> 01:18:36.180
my Uncle Mike, he had a goat. One goat. Okay.

01:18:37.390 --> 01:18:41.670
come out of his house one morning to go to work

01:18:41.670 --> 01:18:48.609
and that goat was laying on the top of his 65

01:18:48.609 --> 01:19:00.489
Mustang that he had fully restored yeah he went

01:19:00.489 --> 01:19:04.869
to chasing that goat that goat ran to that Ran

01:19:04.869 --> 01:19:07.130
down through the field and never seen him again.

01:19:07.550 --> 01:19:09.770
That's probably a good thing because Uncle Mike

01:19:09.770 --> 01:19:13.850
would hurry. Yeah, I could see that happening.

01:19:13.850 --> 01:19:18.170
Oh, my gosh. Yeah, I told you about my Mutherson

01:19:18.170 --> 01:19:21.590
story that used to live next to me. Yeah, yeah.

01:19:22.590 --> 01:19:25.250
I'm at work and my mom calls me. She lived right

01:19:25.250 --> 01:19:27.569
up the road. And she goes, when did you get the

01:19:27.569 --> 01:19:29.529
goats? I'm like, what the hell are you talking

01:19:29.529 --> 01:19:32.310
about? Are you going senile or some shit? I don't

01:19:32.310 --> 01:19:34.479
have goats. Yeah, there's two goats in your yard.

01:19:34.520 --> 01:19:36.180
You're eating the tops out of your redbud trees.

01:19:36.279 --> 01:19:41.020
What? Yeah, I'm looking. They're there. I see

01:19:41.020 --> 01:19:44.560
them. Okay, all right. Well, I get off work,

01:19:44.640 --> 01:19:49.279
and the neighbors had an uncle, I think, or a

01:19:49.279 --> 01:19:52.300
cousin that had a farm, and they were Muthersons,

01:19:52.319 --> 01:19:54.420
and every now and then they'd come home with

01:19:54.420 --> 01:19:56.420
different animals they'd get from that farm,

01:19:56.539 --> 01:20:00.060
their cousin or uncle's farm. So they brought

01:20:00.060 --> 01:20:01.779
the goats home, but they didn't have a place

01:20:01.779 --> 01:20:03.539
to keep them, so they put them in the backyard,

01:20:03.680 --> 01:20:06.640
but there's no fence. So the goats went out wandering

01:20:06.640 --> 01:20:10.300
around, and they went in my yard, ate up my redbud

01:20:10.300 --> 01:20:13.340
trees, ate the tops out of them, but the redbud

01:20:13.340 --> 01:20:15.840
survived, no big deal. Then they went downtown

01:20:15.840 --> 01:20:18.039
Cleveland, and they started sitting on people's

01:20:18.039 --> 01:20:23.319
cars. And then the goats were taken away and

01:20:23.319 --> 01:20:26.869
given back to the original owner of them. And

01:20:26.869 --> 01:20:28.989
then they produced a couple of ducks a couple

01:20:28.989 --> 01:20:31.689
of years later that became mine until owls attacked

01:20:31.689 --> 01:20:34.710
them, and then I had to give them up. So, yeah,

01:20:34.829 --> 01:20:38.510
yeah, I have a little bit of a history with goats.

01:20:39.109 --> 01:20:47.149
But Nugget seems to be doing okay. Oh, boy. Hello?

01:20:48.449 --> 01:20:51.189
Hi, man. Okay, I don't know what happened, but...

01:20:51.720 --> 01:20:55.260
I do. I hit a wrong button. Okay. You'll hear

01:20:55.260 --> 01:21:01.560
it on the podcast, what I said. Okay. Anyhow,

01:21:01.680 --> 01:21:04.960
all right. No, it's damn smart technology. I

01:21:04.960 --> 01:21:07.779
hate it. Yeah, yeah. I know what you're saying.

01:21:07.859 --> 01:21:13.439
I hit one wrong button, and things are fucked.

01:21:14.100 --> 01:21:19.680
Oh, yeah. Okay. Okay. Let's go. Let's see. What

01:21:19.680 --> 01:21:24.010
else? Got anything else you want to go into?

01:21:24.350 --> 01:21:27.189
Yeah, I got one. All right. I've got a little

01:21:27.189 --> 01:21:29.829
story here. Actually, it's something like, you

01:21:29.829 --> 01:21:36.430
know, if you're a former fan. Yeah. Rock Band

01:21:36.430 --> 01:21:40.029
Foreigner announced that it will perform in Canada

01:21:40.029 --> 01:21:45.550
for a stretch of its farewell tour. But its lead

01:21:45.550 --> 01:21:50.199
singer, Kelly Hansen, is being replaced. for

01:21:50.199 --> 01:21:57.020
those concerts. Okay. The band has enlisted actor

01:21:57.020 --> 01:22:02.279
and singer Gordie Brown to perform. Hanson joined

01:22:02.279 --> 01:22:07.880
as the band's vocalist in 2005. Okay. Okay, well,

01:22:08.060 --> 01:22:11.539
Hanson is the one I've seen down here at Ozark

01:22:11.539 --> 01:22:17.789
Dance Team. Okay. Yeah, that was probably around

01:22:17.789 --> 01:22:23.989
his first or second year. Anyway, Brown starred

01:22:23.989 --> 01:22:28.930
in a four -room musical, Jukebox Hero, and is

01:22:28.930 --> 01:22:33.829
stepping in for the 13 -day Canadian stretch

01:22:33.829 --> 01:22:39.729
of the tour. It is unclear why Hanson will be

01:22:39.729 --> 01:22:44.510
absent, but American Songwriter reported. Oh,

01:22:44.510 --> 01:22:48.529
yeah. Yes, this is an American Sunrise report,

01:22:48.750 --> 01:22:53.289
just for you. Love them. Hanson had recently

01:22:53.289 --> 01:22:56.789
expressed he wanted to focus on other ventures,

01:22:56.869 --> 01:23:02.289
including his wife and family. Porter's Canadian

01:23:02.289 --> 01:23:08.090
leg of the tour begins in St. John's, Newfoundland

01:23:08.090 --> 01:23:17.640
on October 21st and ends in... Kelowna, British

01:23:17.640 --> 01:23:26.699
Columbia, on November 7th. So, yeah, it sounds

01:23:26.699 --> 01:23:32.100
like Kelly Hansen is leaving Portland. Okay.

01:23:33.220 --> 01:23:37.760
And I liked him with him. I thought he was really...

01:23:37.760 --> 01:23:42.460
When I seen him here, yeah, I liked him. Yeah,

01:23:42.460 --> 01:23:44.560
I thought he was... I mean, it wasn't Lou Graham.

01:23:45.119 --> 01:23:47.640
I mean, it wasn't the old Ford. No, I know. But,

01:23:47.739 --> 01:23:51.500
you know, he's pretty good. But, actually, he

01:23:51.500 --> 01:23:57.479
added some new, some new, some younger energy

01:23:57.479 --> 01:24:01.319
to it, you know. And that's what I like about

01:24:01.319 --> 01:24:05.640
it. He had younger energy. No, I know. I liked

01:24:05.640 --> 01:24:07.199
it, too. Because Lou Graham would have been sitting

01:24:07.199 --> 01:24:10.920
there on a stool, you know. That's odd. I wonder

01:24:10.920 --> 01:24:15.130
why. I don't know. I guess he'll come out why

01:24:15.130 --> 01:24:23.850
he left. So... Okay. Well... Well, it's that.

01:24:24.010 --> 01:24:29.090
He wants to move on with his family and stuff.

01:24:29.470 --> 01:24:32.050
And that's it? Okay. Well, you know what? I understand

01:24:32.050 --> 01:24:39.130
that. That's cool. All right. Yeah. Okay. You

01:24:39.130 --> 01:24:41.689
want to go any further? It's 920. Or do you...

01:24:42.590 --> 01:24:46.090
Want to stop it. Well, you got anything? Yeah.

01:24:46.409 --> 01:24:50.590
Yep. Yes, I do. I got a few things. Let me look

01:24:50.590 --> 01:24:53.449
through here. I'll see if I can come up with

01:24:53.449 --> 01:25:06.909
something. Okay. Okay. Pretty Privilege. Think

01:25:06.909 --> 01:25:15.079
that exists? I know it does. I think it does,

01:25:15.100 --> 01:25:18.619
too. I agree. When you're young... And there

01:25:18.619 --> 01:25:24.479
is. Yes. Well, pretty people have been proven

01:25:24.479 --> 01:25:33.100
to be treated better, get more promotions, have

01:25:33.100 --> 01:25:37.539
better pay raises, have more friends, and viewed

01:25:37.539 --> 01:25:40.779
at more positively than people that are not so

01:25:40.779 --> 01:25:44.640
pretty. So if you're not that attractive, you

01:25:44.640 --> 01:25:48.260
actually, according to these articles, have a

01:25:48.260 --> 01:25:52.020
tougher time in life because of that. And they

01:25:52.020 --> 01:25:57.819
say that there is something to it. So a pretty

01:25:57.819 --> 01:26:02.779
person could get a traffic violation and get

01:26:02.779 --> 01:26:04.859
out of it because they're pretty. But if you're

01:26:04.859 --> 01:26:07.220
kind of homely looking, you're more likely to

01:26:07.220 --> 01:26:14.699
get a ticket. A job, going to a job, and you

01:26:14.699 --> 01:26:18.159
and another guy have pretty much identical resumes,

01:26:19.859 --> 01:26:25.340
the more attractive person is more likely to

01:26:25.340 --> 01:26:29.579
get that job. And this has been proven by...

01:26:29.579 --> 01:26:31.960
Those guys like you and me are screwed. Yes,

01:26:32.000 --> 01:26:38.079
that's right. Hey, at least we admit it. Yeah,

01:26:38.079 --> 01:26:41.819
yeah, you know. I think I did pretty good with

01:26:41.819 --> 01:26:46.420
this mug. So I thought, yeah, there's a lot more

01:26:46.420 --> 01:26:48.479
to this. But, you know, I decided to go ahead

01:26:48.479 --> 01:26:50.140
and throw this out there because we're at the

01:26:50.140 --> 01:26:55.000
end of this podcast pretty much. And anyhow,

01:26:55.899 --> 01:26:58.100
I'm like really kind of tired. I think you could

01:26:58.100 --> 01:27:01.899
notice that. By the way, I'm talking. Had a long

01:27:01.899 --> 01:27:05.239
day of medical stuff. And I'm kind of mailing

01:27:05.239 --> 01:27:08.680
it in. You know what, I might go into it a little

01:27:08.680 --> 01:27:10.859
bit more next time, but that's pretty much what's

01:27:10.859 --> 01:27:16.899
going on. All right. All right. Got something?

01:27:19.619 --> 01:27:23.000
Yeah, I have one more here. All right. One I've

01:27:23.000 --> 01:27:29.680
been kind of saving up. Okay. A small -town revival

01:27:29.680 --> 01:27:35.659
plan worthy of Leslie Knope herself, a person.

01:27:36.119 --> 01:27:42.000
We show Parks and Recreation. Build new homes,

01:27:42.239 --> 01:27:46.260
invest in the community, and watch the town come

01:27:46.260 --> 01:27:51.079
back to life. But this isn't fictional Pawnee,

01:27:51.239 --> 01:28:00.119
Indiana. This is Pawnee City, Nebraska. A real

01:28:00.119 --> 01:28:05.670
town with real charm. and now a very real incentive

01:28:05.670 --> 01:28:15.329
for anyone looking to relocate. Yeah, go look

01:28:15.329 --> 01:28:22.210
there. That's part of an ambitious effort to

01:28:22.210 --> 01:28:27.670
attract new residents and revitalize the local

01:28:27.670 --> 01:28:34.939
economy the city is offering. $50 ,000 in down

01:28:34.939 --> 01:28:41.119
payment assistance to buyers of newly built homes.

01:28:41.640 --> 01:28:50.739
Wow. What part of the state is it in, do you

01:28:50.739 --> 01:29:04.109
know? Yeah. Let me carry on. Two more sentences,

01:29:04.409 --> 01:29:09.970
you'll get that. The initiative is designed to

01:29:09.970 --> 01:29:13.689
boost population growth, support local businesses,

01:29:14.189 --> 01:29:19.470
and bring new life into this historic town. If

01:29:19.470 --> 01:29:27.170
you build it, they will come. Vision 2030. So

01:29:27.170 --> 01:29:30.539
they're wanting to have this, you know. really

01:29:30.539 --> 01:29:37.479
be grown by 2030. Mm -hmm. Pawnee City is a small,

01:29:37.520 --> 01:29:41.819
close -knit community in southeast Nebraska,

01:29:42.279 --> 01:29:47.560
about a 90 -minute drive from both Lincoln and

01:29:47.560 --> 01:29:52.680
Omaha. Uh -huh. Okay, so it's not that far out

01:29:52.680 --> 01:29:59.920
there. No. That's not a bad deal at all. It's

01:29:59.920 --> 01:30:02.659
the kind of place where neighbors know one another,

01:30:02.920 --> 01:30:07.659
kids walk to school, and local businesses form

01:30:07.659 --> 01:30:12.619
the backbone of the daily life. Like many rural

01:30:12.619 --> 01:30:16.420
communities, though, it has seen its sharp drop

01:30:16.420 --> 01:30:23.180
in population. In the 1970s, Pawnee City was

01:30:23.180 --> 01:30:30.210
home of some 1 ,300 residents. Uh -huh. Today,

01:30:30.310 --> 01:30:36.189
it's just 850. A decline local leaders are determined

01:30:36.189 --> 01:30:40.609
to reverse. Their solution is to focus on what

01:30:40.609 --> 01:30:47.270
really drives growth, families, homes, and quality

01:30:47.270 --> 01:30:53.310
of life. The result is Vision 2030, an ambitious

01:30:53.310 --> 01:30:58.989
re -violation plan centered on housing. Cool.

01:30:59.430 --> 01:31:03.529
I wonder how they're getting the funds. That's

01:31:03.529 --> 01:31:08.210
pretty... Yeah, it don't go into that. And then

01:31:08.210 --> 01:31:10.250
what about the job market there, too, is another

01:31:10.250 --> 01:31:12.550
thing I'm wondering about. Okay, so you go there.

01:31:13.029 --> 01:31:16.710
Then is there jobs available to maintain your

01:31:16.710 --> 01:31:22.989
living there? Well, like I said... I have not

01:31:22.989 --> 01:31:26.069
had time to look into that part of it. No, no,

01:31:26.109 --> 01:31:28.229
no. I'm not asking for answers. What I'm saying

01:31:28.229 --> 01:31:32.550
is there's a lot of questions. Okay. Thank you,

01:31:32.550 --> 01:31:34.930
Rob. That was a neat article. Interesting about

01:31:34.930 --> 01:31:37.569
how to do that. Unless you want to stay on here

01:31:37.569 --> 01:31:40.130
for a minute, I'll look it up. Okay. Go ahead.

01:31:40.810 --> 01:31:44.050
Oh, I'm on Chrome already. All right. I find

01:31:44.050 --> 01:31:46.850
it interesting, stuff like that. And what a bold

01:31:46.850 --> 01:31:51.449
move that is, you know. Yeah, they're all from

01:31:51.449 --> 01:31:55.810
50 ,000. Oh, yeah, Palm Beach City and Nebraska.

01:31:57.890 --> 01:32:12.109
Wow. Okay. The relation was 878 in 2002. Uh -huh.

01:32:15.350 --> 01:32:20.140
Let's see. Where exactly is it? If you're 90

01:32:20.140 --> 01:32:26.039
minutes away from Omaha and Lincoln, then probably

01:32:26.039 --> 01:32:28.640
driving there for a job would not be in the equation.

01:32:28.640 --> 01:32:33.460
That would be too far, I would think. Trying

01:32:33.460 --> 01:32:42.840
to pull up the map here. Okay. Oh, yeah, that's

01:32:42.840 --> 01:32:59.649
right. They're on size. Okay. Oh, no. What? Actually,

01:32:59.649 --> 01:33:11.189
it's not far from St. Joseph. Really? Well, if

01:33:11.189 --> 01:33:16.369
you drive straight up the map I'm looking at.

01:33:17.979 --> 01:33:22.159
Drive straight up from Topeka, Kansas to Omaha,

01:33:22.279 --> 01:33:26.239
Nebraska. Yeah. You drive right through Pawnee

01:33:26.239 --> 01:33:31.659
City. So you would probably be able to make a

01:33:31.659 --> 01:33:35.819
living. It's kind of like just a tad bit northwest

01:33:35.819 --> 01:33:39.840
of St. Joe. You would think out there that the

01:33:39.840 --> 01:33:41.939
housing prices weren't that high either. I mean,

01:33:41.960 --> 01:33:43.699
that might be a very good deal for some people,

01:33:43.739 --> 01:33:51.420
really. Yeah. How many is available, does it

01:33:51.420 --> 01:33:58.340
say? One or two. Okay. Cool article. Thank you,

01:33:58.340 --> 01:34:08.359
Rob. Got a new segment that I'm going to put

01:34:08.359 --> 01:34:11.500
in this podcast right here. And you'll hear it

01:34:11.500 --> 01:34:13.279
probably before here because this is towards

01:34:13.279 --> 01:34:17.579
the end of the podcast. But it is the mixed drink

01:34:17.579 --> 01:34:22.390
of the week. And since we're coming upon summertime

01:34:22.390 --> 01:34:27.590
and we're coming upon party season, I mean, like

01:34:27.590 --> 01:34:29.949
down there at the beautiful Niagara Arm of Lake

01:34:29.949 --> 01:34:33.170
of the Ozarks, right, a lot of people out partying.

01:34:33.609 --> 01:34:36.850
So you need drink recipes to make this happen.

01:34:36.869 --> 01:34:40.010
Getting there. Yeah. Getting that time of year.

01:34:41.810 --> 01:34:44.609
I'm starting out like this. I got the first few.

01:34:54.599 --> 01:35:17.560
Oh, come on. Bushwhacker, and this is Norwegian

01:35:17.560 --> 01:35:20.920
as in the cruise lines. It's one of their signature

01:35:20.920 --> 01:35:25.180
drinks, and there is a smoked peach margarita

01:35:25.180 --> 01:35:27.680
from the Norwegian cruise lines. It's a very

01:35:27.680 --> 01:35:30.699
famous drink that people love, and I'd forgotten

01:35:30.699 --> 01:35:32.479
what the other one is, but there's four ones

01:35:32.479 --> 01:35:36.180
that are already made, and they're going to be

01:35:36.180 --> 01:35:39.579
put into these episodes. Then after that, Rob

01:35:39.579 --> 01:35:40.960
and I are going to get together, and we're going

01:35:40.960 --> 01:35:44.090
to figure out this new segment. but i want it

01:35:44.090 --> 01:35:46.170
to be rob's drink of the week do you like that

01:35:46.170 --> 01:35:50.989
rob so i'm actually gonna have to try these drinks

01:35:50.989 --> 01:35:56.569
yes gonna have to try them and tell everybody

01:35:56.569 --> 01:36:00.029
hey man you know what i made this drink up and

01:36:00.029 --> 01:36:03.829
uh this is good or i don't i don't really recommend

01:36:03.829 --> 01:36:12.800
it or whatever I think it's pretty good. We'll

01:36:12.800 --> 01:36:15.579
talk more about this later. Okay. All right.

01:36:15.680 --> 01:36:19.100
If it's something I actually have to drink. No,

01:36:19.100 --> 01:36:21.500
you don't have to drink it. No. All you got to

01:36:21.500 --> 01:36:24.239
do is find specific neat drinks that are party

01:36:24.239 --> 01:36:27.140
drinks and tell people how to make them. That's

01:36:27.140 --> 01:36:30.560
it. All right. All right. I was going to say,

01:36:30.600 --> 01:36:33.300
because I'm kind of watching my drinkers. No,

01:36:33.319 --> 01:36:35.319
no, no. And that's fantastic. And no, I'm not

01:36:35.319 --> 01:36:36.779
going to have you drink them. I'm just fucking

01:36:36.779 --> 01:36:40.859
around. So. With my luck, I'll stumble across

01:36:40.859 --> 01:36:45.220
something damn good. Man, I'll tell you what.

01:36:45.739 --> 01:36:48.659
Listen to the first four or five recipes. I think

01:36:48.659 --> 01:36:51.000
I have four of them. They are damn good. They

01:36:51.000 --> 01:36:56.340
have to be. Anyhow, that's a little segment I

01:36:56.340 --> 01:37:00.260
want to do. I'll tell you right now. Yeah. That's

01:37:00.260 --> 01:37:05.300
in root beer. Root beer does not go with alcohol.

01:37:05.600 --> 01:37:09.119
Just saying. I could believe that. Root beer

01:37:09.119 --> 01:37:11.960
has a very distinct taste, and so does alcohol.

01:37:12.479 --> 01:37:16.779
I could see it clashing very easily. I learned

01:37:16.779 --> 01:37:23.220
that at the age of 13. Just saying. Just saying.

01:37:23.399 --> 01:37:29.359
All right. Okay. Dad's liquor cabinet. I remember

01:37:29.359 --> 01:37:34.260
the neighbor, his dad drank PBR, and he would

01:37:34.260 --> 01:37:36.359
get smashed, and he'd forget how many he drank

01:37:36.359 --> 01:37:40.409
a night. So we'd go in there after he'd pass

01:37:40.409 --> 01:37:42.689
out on the couch. We'd go in there and drink

01:37:42.689 --> 01:37:44.890
the rest of his beer. And then he'd wake up and

01:37:44.890 --> 01:37:47.550
go, geez, man, did I drink all them? And we'd

01:37:47.550 --> 01:37:50.810
all go, yeah, you don't remember? Oh, yeah, yeah,

01:37:50.810 --> 01:37:52.670
I remember. Yeah, yeah, I remember. I drank them

01:37:52.670 --> 01:37:56.890
all. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yep. The good thing is he

01:37:56.890 --> 01:37:58.729
never woke up till morning, so we had time to

01:37:58.729 --> 01:38:02.090
sober up after we drank his PBRs. But we had

01:38:02.090 --> 01:38:03.810
a pretty good little gimmick going on because

01:38:03.810 --> 01:38:05.810
he would do it every night. I mean, obviously,

01:38:06.250 --> 01:38:10.140
you know. Yeah. Yeah, and he would smash like...

01:38:10.140 --> 01:38:12.560
He had a few of them. Yeah, yeah, he'd have like

01:38:12.560 --> 01:38:14.760
a 24 -pack, those big ones that they used to

01:38:14.760 --> 01:38:18.100
sell at PBR. And he would smash about 18 of them,

01:38:18.119 --> 01:38:20.500
and there'd be, you know, five, six left, whatever.

01:38:21.020 --> 01:38:23.500
And that's when me and my buddy next door used

01:38:23.500 --> 01:38:25.619
to go to work. We'd go in there and go, all right.

01:38:25.939 --> 01:38:28.100
We'd do the pass -out test. We'd take a book,

01:38:28.199 --> 01:38:30.939
and we'd slam it on the floor as hard as we could.

01:38:31.399 --> 01:38:34.119
And if he didn't budge an inch, it was time to

01:38:34.119 --> 01:38:37.079
go get that beer. But if he'd go, huh? We knew,

01:38:37.119 --> 01:38:41.399
not yet. Let it set in a little bit more. We

01:38:41.399 --> 01:38:47.899
were devious little bastards. So, it was fun

01:38:47.899 --> 01:38:51.060
while it lasted. And I forgot how he caught us.

01:38:51.060 --> 01:38:53.819
He caught us somehow, man. He beat the shit out

01:38:53.819 --> 01:38:56.939
of my neighbor. Beat his ass good. And wanted

01:38:56.939 --> 01:38:58.739
to beat mine, but I ran back home and locked

01:38:58.739 --> 01:39:04.840
the door so he couldn't get me. So, alright.

01:39:05.949 --> 01:39:07.789
Should we wrap up this shit show and put a bow

01:39:07.789 --> 01:39:12.109
on it? Yes, Tom, my brother. All righty, brother.

01:39:12.449 --> 01:39:14.430
Have a great night. Have a great day at work

01:39:14.430 --> 01:39:16.890
tomorrow. We'll speak with you Sunday evening.

01:39:19.810 --> 01:39:23.449
Yes, I'm actually going out of town this weekend,

01:39:23.510 --> 01:39:26.029
but I will be home Sunday night. Where are you

01:39:26.029 --> 01:39:34.130
going? My cousin lost his wife end of last year.

01:39:34.640 --> 01:39:37.699
I remember you telling me about that. Yeah, and

01:39:37.699 --> 01:39:42.460
her celebration of life is Saturday, so I'm going

01:39:42.460 --> 01:39:46.739
over to Pomme de Terre. Oh, okay. And I'm going

01:39:46.739 --> 01:39:51.779
to spend the night there. Okay. Because, like

01:39:51.779 --> 01:39:54.479
I said, celebration of life, and that's the way

01:39:54.479 --> 01:39:58.560
she'd want us, nice and drunk. So I'm not driving.

01:39:59.140 --> 01:40:01.880
Good for you. I'm not driving. Stay the night

01:40:01.880 --> 01:40:05.399
there, Rob. Be safe. Yeah, well, yeah, no, he's

01:40:05.399 --> 01:40:10.739
got extra bed room, so. Excellent. Well, have

01:40:10.739 --> 01:40:12.979
fun. I mean, as much as you can at a celebration

01:40:12.979 --> 01:40:16.479
of life. If not, I got my beautiful new truck

01:40:16.479 --> 01:40:21.600
to sleep in. That thing is nice. Enjoy your truck.

01:40:21.699 --> 01:40:25.680
Enjoy your time at Palme d 'Itard. Yeah, I'm

01:40:25.680 --> 01:40:29.560
going to be smart about it. Yes, Rob, please.

01:40:30.739 --> 01:40:36.399
Got to. Yeah, you do. You do. All right, everybody,

01:40:36.560 --> 01:40:39.300
thank you for listening. Have a fantastic night,

01:40:39.380 --> 01:40:46.279
assholes. Good night, assholes. Oh, no. Looks

01:40:46.279 --> 01:40:49.100
like the show's over, kids. Mark has explosive

01:40:49.100 --> 01:40:52.779
diarrhea and can't afford a wireless mic. Fear

01:40:52.779 --> 01:40:55.199
not, assholes. They'll be back invading your

01:40:55.199 --> 01:40:55.979
ear holes soon.