These guys are inviting as a used hypodermic
needle. Harambe used to listen to our original
show, Two Dipshits and Cheek Radio Shack Realistic
Tape Recorder. Harambe does not listen to our
original show, Two Dipshits and a Cheek Radio
Shack Realistic Tape Recorder anymore. You might
ask why Harambe never listens to our original
show, Two Dipshits and a Cheek Radio Shack Realistic
Tape Recorder. Well, it's because Harambe is
dead. Senselessly murdered because some idiot
did not watch her child properly while looking
on her phone. Sadly, Harambe does not listen
to our original show, Two Gibshits and the Cheap
Radio Shedack Realistic Take Recorder, or any
other show. Anymore. Sorry, Harambe. And we're
going. Okay. Alright. We are the music creeps.
We are the music creeps. All right. Cracking
up sooner and sooner. Yeah. You always add that
little flair to it. It's like, ah. As long as
people keep hating on our intro, we're going
to keep doing it. Yes, yes. And which they haven't
been here lately. I think they learned that we
really thrive on that. So they're like, don't
send anything in. So that means we're going to
have to come up with something even more obnoxious.
I'm pretty sure I'm confident in our level of
that. I think we could. We could do something
with bodily noises. Yeah. Oh, my God. Look at
the tornadoes over the last 24 hours in Missouri
and Kansas. Holy cow. How many? Looks like 30
of them. Yeah, they're just all running together.
Yeah. That's nuts. Yeah. Whoever's in charge
of the weather control, man, they're not doing
a very good job. No, no, no. Don't appreciate
it. Not good. Well, no, they missed us, so yeah.
Yeah, okay. All right. Okay. I heard of something
interesting yesterday. Okay. A concept I'd never
heard of before called Taylor Tuning. Taylor
Tuning. Yeah. Now, when I first saw the video,
I thought they were talking about Taylor Swift.
But they're talking about James Taylor. He was
a singer -songwriter from the 70s. Didn't he
get shot or something? Not that I recall. He
was married to Carly Simon for a while. Had famous
liaisons with a bunch of other people. But the
majority of his music is just him singing. picking
his guitar uh he developed his own method of
tuning that basically compensates for the inherent
flaws in a guitar like you know those those frets
that go straight across the neck those just don't
work they're they're easier to manufacture and
they're easier to play but the guitar never intonates
properly with those straight across frets but
it's a design flaw that everyone's just gotten
used to now you can find ones with actual true
compensated frets where every fret looks like
this little jagged lightning bolt. And it's individually
tailored for each string. But the problem with
that is when you try to bend a note, it sucks.
And if you ever change string gauges or tuning,
then it doesn't work anymore. So you're kind
of locked in. So everyone just uses the straight
across frets basically. So he developed this
method of tuning to not only compensate for that,
but also compensate for the way he played. Because
he would tend to pick the lighter notes, and
then he'd dig in with his thumb on the heavier
strings, the E and the A. But when you dig in
heavily, they sound sharp at first, and then
they mellow back to being on pitch. So he started
tuning everything just a little low. by a certain
amount, like 3 % here, 12 % there, 8 % there.
That way when he plays, it's all in perfect tune.
But if somebody else played it, it doesn't quite
work. And so this guy tried it with an acoustic
guitar and an electric guitar. And then he tried
playing a James Taylor song and he said, yeah,
it mostly works, but I don't play exactly the
way he does. And then he tried playing with strumming.
And that worked out really well for the tuning.
And then he tried the electric guitar, picking
notes, strumming, using overdrive, etc. And he
said it basically boils down to unless you're
James Taylor, you don't need Taylor tuning. But
he hires a guitar tech to specifically tune each
of his guitars to those exact precise measurements
every single time. And it makes him happy. But
for most people, it's like... Yeah, I can't tell
the difference. Pretty... Yeah. But it was enough
of a thing that somebody made a whole video about
it, and there have been articles about Taylor
tuning. Hey, we have some lists. Did you do some
lists? Like the bands with the wimpiest fans?
Yes. The bands with the toughest fans? I've got
toughest, wimpiest, and snottiest, which I also
took to mean annoying. Yes. I've got bands that
peaked with their very first album. Uh -huh.
I've got rip -offs of the guitar riffs. Yes.
And one bonus drum riff. Okay. And I've got the
10 worst rock albums of all time according to
this one list. Oh, good, good. You want to do
the 10 worst rock albums first? Sure. Okay. Ah,
here we go. Number 10 on the list. You might
have some memory of this one. Forbidden by Black
Sabbath, 1995. Yes. That was horrible. Yeah.
According to the report, it was meant to be kind
of a farewell album for the band. It included
iced tea, rapping on at least one track. I forgot
about that. They played a little clip of it during
the video. Boy, that was awful. It was like that
Rush song, Roll the Bones, where they had some
guy come in and rap on that one. Yeah. And they
regret it so bitterly. The problem is, the Sabbath
song wasn't any good. Yeah. The Roll the Bones
song was decent. It was a decent song, yeah,
until the rapping came up, and it just didn't
fit. It was done poorly, and they were obviously
trying to capitalize on a fad. It was like, oh,
you're better than that. Anyway. But they say
uninspired songwriting. Some of the songs just
didn't even seem finished. They were just clumsy
and awkward. There's one called Sick and Tired
or something like that. And it just kind of seemed
awkward and clunky. And they didn't really know
how to play it. And then it just kind of ends.
Tony Iommi, they said his playing was stellar.
He still played wonderfully. It's just the songwriting
was good. Yeah, the thing is, is the riffs were
good, but the songwriting all together were horrible.
Yeah. I mean, Tony Iommi sounded great because
at this point he was sober. Oh, yeah, that's
true. Yeah. That's true. And then after that
is when you saw the reunion with Dio and then,
of course, after Dio's death with Ozzy. Yeah.
And I think even though it wasn't Tony Martin's
fault, that album was known as Tony Martin and...
the other Sabbath that nobody really knows that
much about after they went through Glenn Hughes
and Ian Gillen and Ray Gillen. Oh, yeah, Ray.
Ray Gillen was for, he never recorded an album,
but they couldn't pay him, supposedly. And he
was waiting for his first check, and they said,
we have a problem with that right now. And he
said, fuck you guys. He went to Badlands. A little
cash flow problem. Yeah, a little cash flow problem.
Allegedly, that's what I read. Allegedly. Yeah.
All right, number nine on the list is The Doors.
had an album called Other Voices in 1971. I had
no idea. This was right after Jim Morrison died,
and the remaining three got together and decided,
cash grab time. There's no direction. The songs
just meander. There's no theme. The songs really
don't go anywhere. It really, really highlighted
the absence of Morrison. Yeah. There's just like,
where was his voice? This is what... really sold
the band. And it really kind of gave you a look
at this is what the Doors would have been if
Jim Morrison had never joined. Because the Doors
were already a band together and playing when
Morrison joined. So if Morrison had decided not
to join, this is all the Doors would have ever
been. Nobody would have ever heard of them. Wow.
Yeah. Okay. That was the really interesting part
for me is like, Without him, they were nothing.
With him, they were really something. And the
guys playing were really good, and they did a
great job. It's not like Jim Morrison was carrying
them. Yeah. But without him, they never would
have tapped into that. It's interesting to me.
That is very interesting. Okay. Number eight.
Billy Idol put out an album called Cyberpunk
in 93. Yeah, that was horrible. And it flopped.
It flopped big time. In the video, he had red
spandex on and boxing shoes and mini blonde dreadlocks
instead of little spiky hair. I think I remember
that. It was these droopy little wimpy squid
tentacles coming down. It was so... The songs
were a mess. The lyrics sucked. They said for
the most part the lyrics made zero sense. It
was just not even worth paying attention to.
It was just full of techno beats and drum machines.
I remember that. It was like, no, this guy's
a rock and roller. And he was still out there
doing the air punches and all the jumping up
and down moves, but he just looked so stupid
trying to be techno. Yeah. And the production
was really inconsistent from song to song. One
song would be all polished and glamorous. The
next one would be kind of rough and raw. And
the next one would have way too much reverb on
it. It was just all over the place. Number seven,
Motley Crue, Generation Swine. Oh, yeah. 1997.
They were trying to reinvent themselves with
industrial rock and old grunge styles. Look up
their haircuts during that time. Oh, my gosh.
Fans just plain didn't want it. It was too experimental.
They were trying to make an obvious move to fit
into the 90s, and they thought Vince Neil being
back would sell it, and they didn't even have
to try very hard. Yeah, and the problem is they
wanted Vince Neil back with the old sound, not
with this new sound. So they brought him back,
and that's essentially what made their career
go to hell, pretty much. Because after that,
they never really recovered. They were looked
at as a joke. And the reason they were looked
at as a joke is because at first they were all
in on John Carabi and this new Aerosmith type
of crunchy sound. It was like, okay, I can deal
with this. I can deal with this. If the record
company would have left him alone, I think that
would have hit. I think it would have. I mean,
the first album is too much of a change, but
I think it would have fit. So then they get rid
of him unceremoniously. Nothing he did just because,
you know, the overall perception. So they send
him packing. They bring back Vince, even though
they hate him. And then they go with a different
sound, and people are like, wait a minute, wait
a minute. It's like being betrayed twice. Yeah,
it's fake all over, and I think Nikki Sixx has
demonstrated that clearly ever since. Yeah, yeah.
Nikki Sixx is in it for Nikki Sixx. Yes. All
right, number six, The Clash. They put an album
out called Cut the Crap, and it was total crap.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was 1985,
and everybody was done with punk. And they'd
lost a bunch of members. They'd discarded all
the punk influences that made them popular. They
were using drum machines on all the tracks in
a punk band, and they were using drum machines.
I remember those. Yeah, I think, okay. The production
energy was low. The lyrics were awful. Everything
sounded... They basically sounded like a tribute
band. And I think the only guy left from the
beginning was Joe Strummer. And he just couldn't
sell it. It was just garbage. And after that
album was done, The Clash was done. Okay. Everybody's
thinking like, man, if you just hadn't put out
that last crappy album. Number five. The Sgt.
Pepper soundtrack from the 1978 movie, Sgt. Pepper's
Lonely Hearts, not bad. The soundtrack, yes.
The soundtrack, yep. Now, the casting on this
was horrible. The Bee Gees played the lead roles
with Peter Frampton. Uh -huh. All the songs were
redone. Every single song was redone, re -recorded,
re -performed, and they changed them all significantly.
They put in a lot of disco influences, because
disco was popular at the time. Everything sounded
cheesy and hammy, like the Walt Disney version.
And then the soft voices of the Bee Gees. Every
song that was supposed to mean something or have
some force, they'd be up there singing like this.
It's like, no, we don't believe it. We don't
get it. We're like, God, that's a disaster. And
now the story of the whole movie was completely
invented just for the movie. It was nothing to
do with the Beatles. The storyline was disco
versus rock. And disco was good and wholesome
and clean, and rock was evil and awful and terrible,
as represented by Aerosmith and Alice Cooper.
That is messed up. The Beatles never played disco.
The Beatles broke up. years before disco was
invented yeah so the beatles hands faded it beatles
fans hated it the disco fans hated it the bgs
and frampton fans hated it it was a pretty piss
poor soundtrack it was just a just an obvious
cash grab yeah and a lot of people think not
the beatles album yeah yeah and by 78 disco was
on its way out i mean solidly on its way out
yeah and yeah um Yeah, and also, I think that's
one of those things that the bands that contributed
to it want you to forget about. Yes. They're
just kind of like, they don't ever mention that,
they never play it in concert, nothing. It doesn't
exist. Yes. Yeah, I imagine all copies of that
movie. I don't think that thing has ever made
it to DVD because nobody wants it. All right,
Van Halen 3 is the number four on the list. It's
the one with Gary Cherone. He just didn't fit.
No, the album itself was not bad. Yeah. It was
criticized for being, the songs were too long,
and it was like every song had way too many guitar
solos, and Eddie was throwing out all of the
tricks he could think of. And also, he spent
so much money on it. Eddie personally had so
much money spent on this because he wanted it
to go so bad. Yeah. And Gary Cherone is a great
singer, but the way they wrote the songs, though,
he really sounded a lot like... Sammy Hagar.
He did, yeah. They criticized the songwriting
from meandering, low energy, and some of the
songs sounded unfinished. And I think they kind
of were, actually. It didn't take advantage of
their musicianship. And I've seen some footage
of Gary Cherone trying to sing the earlier David
Lee Roth numbers. It sounded awful. There's no
way he's too good of a singer. He just couldn't
pull it off. I'd love to hear them go, can you
see Junior's grave? I just don't see that. I
don't either. All right, number three on the
list. Creedence Clearwater Revival put out an
album called Mardi Gras in 1972. I don't know
if I've ever heard that. Yeah, this was their
last album. John Fogerty was the driving force
behind that band, and he wrote all the songs
up until this one. Hey, how you doing? No, that's
fine. Door's opening. Good. How you doing? Oh,
there we go. Hey, suddenly it smells better out
here. Yeah, it does. It smells really good out
here. Might have to break down and get an omelet
or something. Yeah, we're going to have to eat
something. All right, so John Fogerty finally
decided, you know what, I'm going to let everyone
else write songs too. Partly because he was tired
of it and partly because the deal they had with
the record label was as soon as they wrote a
song, it became property of the record label.
Oh, okay. So Fogarty really didn't want to write
any more good songs because he was just giving
them away. Okay. I remember we talked about that
the other day, but I think it's personally not
on the music creeps. Yeah, yeah. After the band
broke up, he continued writing, but in secret.
And he waited for that record deal to expire,
and then he came out with an album full of good
stuff. The Old Man Down the Road, Centerfield.
Yeah, he did really good on his solo stuff. Yeah.
He really hit some pop hits on that, too. He
did, definitely. But this Mardi Gras album, it
was wimp rock. It was country. There was no energy.
It sounded like nobody was enjoying themselves
or having fun. It was just like everyone was
punching the clock. Yeah. A lot of these, it's
like... A lot of these worst ones are people's
last album. It's sad. Yeah, because it essentially
destroyed their band. Yeah. Number two. This
one I couldn't believe was real. It was called
Lulu. Oh. 2011. Smashing Pumpkins, maybe? No,
no, no. Metallica with Lou Reed singing. That
was it. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It was horrible. Oh,
my God. Oh my gosh, yeah, it was horrible. Lou
Reed of The Velvet Underground. Yeah. Lou Reed
of Take a Walk on the Wild Side. What the hell
does that have to do with Metallica? For some
reason, they had an identity crisis. I guess.
And this is after they did Load and Reload, because
that was essentially their alternative albums.
It had nothing to do with their real sound. And
they're trying to stay relevant. Didn't work
so well, did it? Yeah, so when they came back,
they never did reach what they used to be. Yeah.
It was criticized for strange, incoherent lyrics.
Well, Lou Reed, of course, they're going to be
strange. Yeah, I mean, what else do you expect
from them? Absolutely no overlap of musical style.
Yep. Lou Reed, he didn't sing. Everything came
out of this kind of weird, stilted, spoken word
delivery. And on songs like I Am the Table, It
really didn't work all that well. In fact, that
became a meme. Lou Reed's like, I am the table.
I'm happy to say I've never heard that at all.
It basically pissed off everyone, and Metallica
would rather that no one remembered this ever
happened. If I was them, I'd be able to say,
yeah. Hey, guys, that whole thing, no, no, don't
mention it. Don't mention it. Yeah. Now, the
number one on the list of worst rock albums,
and... Yeah, I think I've got to agree with this.
It's a band called The Shags. And the album was
called Philosophy of the World. It came out in
1969. It was a sister act. Three girls from New
Hampshire that had zero talent, could not play,
could not sing, and could not write. But they
had a domineering father with more money than
brains, and he pushed these girls into it and
got them in this album made. And it's so bizarre.
It's like they had the sister who played the
drums. They told her, go in and just play some
drum stuff. And they recorded it. And then they
had the sister who played guitar. It's like,
go in and just play some random stuff. And then
they just overlapped them. It's like, when you
hear it, nobody's playing together. And then
the vocals on top have nothing to do with anything.
Nobody's in the same key. Nobody's in the same
time signature. It's just a... Total mess. That
always makes you think, how did they get a record
deal? I really have no idea. But it has actually
kind of gotten cult status as being so bad, it's
funny as hell. So if you want to either cry or
laugh, look up the Shag's Philosophy of the World
album. It's just awful. These poor girls probably
never lived that down. Probably not. Yikers.
I mean hit number one on one of those. Yeah.
Yeah, I watched the whole video just about the
shags and Wow, you talked about you know, three
innocent young girls whose dad just decided you're
doing this and they're like, okay the complete
opposite of The Dead Daisies. Yes, the Dead Daisies
that guy pays Yeah performers really good ones
to play in his band and they want to yeah, and
he's a decent guitarist, too But they've never
made a dime from what I understand. He's just
like, he's a billionaire, and that's what he
wants to do. So I've watched him with Glenn Hughes
and Doug Aldridge and Tommy Clefetos. Oh, yeah.
It was an amazing band. They were so good. And
the guitarist, I forgot his name, the billionaire
guy. But he's not bad. He's a pretty good guitarist
himself. He is, yeah. So, all right. How about
bands with the wimpiest fans? Oh, I've got a
few of those. I've got a few also. All right.
You want to go? First one I have is fish. Oh,
yeah. Fish with a P -H. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They
are wimpy. Totally wimpy. Totally wimpy. I got
Donnie and Marie. Oh, that's a good one. Yeah.
I can see that. I'm a little bit country. I'm
a little bit wrecking ball. No, you're not. No,
no. Not even close. No. Now go brush your teeth.
Because they are so pretty and white. Yes. I
mean, he probably spends three hours a day flossing,
painting them. They had to have a dentist or
two in the family. I'm pretty sure, yeah. Yeah,
they had a lot of good tooth care. They would
have spent their fortune on dentistry. Yeah.
All right, next up I have Grateful Dead fans.
Okay. You know what a Grateful Dead fan says
when he runs out of drugs? Man, this music sucks.
Exactly. You told me that. You told me that not
too long ago. No, see, I've known a few Grateful
Dead fans, and they are some of the wimpiest,
most laid -back, you know, just run -me -over
-I -don't -care kind of people I've ever known.
So they made my list. I can't think of any Grateful
Dead fan that would be willing to jump into a
mosh pit. Not one. Okay. Next up, I have Pink
Floyd. Sorry, I had to answer something here
real quick. Okay, go ahead. Pink Floyd, yeah.
Pink Floyd, I think. Pink Floyd fans are pretty
laid back and wimpy and easy going and just like,
yeah, whatever, man. Yeah, that's true. I've
got the Partridge family. Oh, definitely. That's
teeny bop from the 70s. Yeah, and it was even
fake music. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah, Pink
Floyd fans, I agree. They're the peace guy. They're
smoking their bong and going, hey, man, that's
all right. I don't need to fight. I mean, wimpy
doesn't necessarily mean you're a coward. It
just means you don't want to fight. Yeah, yeah.
And I would agree with that. Pink Floyd fans
that I knew were pretty much like that. And we're
talking about the nerds. Yeah. Because you and
I are both Pink Floyd fans, but it's not, we
don't revolve around them like the, like the,
like who we're talking about. The obsessive fans.
The obsessive fans, yeah. Well, I did too, so
I need to do a second one. Okay. No. Sean Cassidy.
Oh, very good. Very good. Yeah. Do Run Run. Anyone
that likes that song, win. I think we're alone
now. Oh, God, yeah. I forgot about that. It's
like a ton of people did that one. Yep. Debbie
Gibson did, too. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And then you
think of it as from the, you know, sung perspective
of, like, Jared from Subway. Then it gets real
creepy when he says, I think we're alone now.
Yeah. It's like, and where are we going with
this? I don't want to look for your puppy. Please
let me out of this van. Who's the clown? I put
Michael Jackson fans on the list for wimpiest.
Oh, yeah, yes. About the only time a Michael
Jackson fan will get active and aggravated and
hostile is when they're defending Michael Jackson
against the pedophile charges. Yes. Because Michael
Jackson fans will never believe in their entire
existence that Michael Jackson ever touched anybody.
Yeah. They will get violent if you suggest that
Michael Jackson did something wrong. He paid
millions of dollars because he just wanted it
to go away because he's so innocent. Yeah. Innocent
people make million -dollar payoffs all the time.
Innocent people are like, I am not, and I'm going
to fucking prove it. Anyways. All right. Rod
Stewart, and this is his pop. Not his blues stuff.
Poppy disco phase. Yeah, we talked about it last
week on The Music Creeps about how they made
him not work with Jeff Beck. And the guy from
St. Louis, the blues guy, I cannot ever think
of his name. Chuck Berry? Oh, yeah, him too.
He was responsible for Hot Legs and some of that
more blues stuff he did. Oh, well, anyhow. I
know Ron Wood was in the band with him for a
while. Ron Wood was in the band with him. Went
on to the Rolling Stones. I couldn't tell the
difference between him and the guitarist, Jeff
Beck. They almost look identical on stage. They
look pretty similar, yeah. Yeah, they do. That
British upbringing. Yeah. Crosby, Stills, and
Nash. No Young. Well, Young made them a little
more hip. He made them a little more hip. Crosby,
Stills, and Nash. I would agree. Teach your children
well. Teach your children to change the channel
on the radio. Yes. Teach your children to swear
off Supercube at the time. Even KY -102 was playing
that. Oh, they were, weren't they? Yeah. The
wimpy slide guitar and the pedal steel. It was
like, okay, you guys also play Nazareth. Yeah,
it's like make up your mind. Deep purple, and
now you're playing this garbage over there. The
next one I have, well, there are so many different
subjects on that I could go into about radio
and how they defy themselves, and now they don't
have the expanded playlist. It's all narrowed
down, and it's really suffering. Not that I ever
liked the expanded playlist. I always liked what
I liked, but okay. Next one, the Bee Gees. Oh,
yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Anybody like the Bee Gees,
they could never, ever, ever kick anybody's ass,
including a hamster. Yeah. A hamster would kick
their ass. Bread. Oh, that's a good one. Bread.
Anything named Bread is going to suck. Hey, you
guys are pretty good. What's your name? Bread.
Forget it. In fact, they even had an album where
the album cover was just a plain loaf of white
bread. They did, didn't they? Who okayed that
at the record company? Who looked at that and
said, looks good to me, it's a go. That was just,
you know there's a tribute band called Toast?
I thought that was clever as hell. I want to
go see Toast. I'd rather see Purple Floyd. Yeah.
I don't know if there's a Purple Floyd, actually.
There's a Brit Floyd that's pretty good. Oh,
yeah. I have the Go -Go's. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that
would be. They'd be kind of the same category
as, like, the B -52s fans. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Teenie Bop. Tom Tom Club. Trying to be punk.
Bananarama. Yeah, yeah. Haircut 100. Yeah. All
those. Yeah. Yeah. You say poo and they fall
off their platform shoes. You said poo to me.
Where's my security blanket? Someone bring me
my blankie now. That's about it what I got for
wimpy fans. Okay, I've got a few more. I went
crazy on this. Sure. Sonny and Cher. Oh, absolutely.
In fact, I'd go as far as say Cher. Yeah, just
Cher alone. You believe in life after love. Anyone
that likes that song? could not kick an earthworm's
ass. An earthworm would pummel it. They run from
small spiders that you can barely see. They run
from gnats. They see a flock of gnats or whatever
they are, a gaggle or whatever, they run, they
scream. Next one would be Josie and the Pussycats.
Oh, I remember Josie and the Pussycats. Long
hair and that's a fact. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For
cartoon characters, they were pretty cute. Yeah,
they were. Of course, I was always looking at
the drummer. Yeah, yeah, you know, I get it.
You're a drummer, you like the drummer. Pearl
Jam. Oh, yeah. You must, the environment, the
environment, the environment. This crossover
between wimpy and snotty for Pearl Jam fans.
They are on the snotty list, too, by the way.
Yeah, there's some people who do both. Yeah.
U2. Oh, yeah. Still haven't found what I'm looking
for. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Coldplay fans would be
on that list, the wimpiest and the snottiest.
Coldplay is on this and the wimpiest both. So
I'll just go ahead and say Coldplay right now
and get that taken care of. Poison. Oh, yeah.
And that's nowadays. During the time, there were
some people that were fairly tough that liked
it because it was in. Yeah. But nowadays, anyone
that likes it, wimp. Yeah, pretty much. Yep.
Van Hagar fans. Yeah. But only Van Hagar. Yeah.
Not Van Halen. And they're also on the snottiest
fans, too. Yeah, yeah. Like, oh, no, no, no,
I only like Van Hagar, not that Davey Rasta.
They're like the J -Hawk fans of music. Yes.
I don't like basketball. I don't like college
basketball. I don't like men's college basketball.
I only like KU men's college basketball. But
I'm not a bandwagon fan. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Exactly.
If you remember that 80s band Firehouse. Oh,
yes. Don't treat me bad. Don't treat me bad.
Yeah. The guy had a high voice. He really did.
Yeah, he did. I could kick anyone that ever liked
that. I could kick their ass with my pinky. Yeah.
You could just walk up and look at them cross
-eyed, and they would, like, run off. Chris Isaac
fans could kick their ass. Oh, my gosh, yeah.
Gordon Lightfoot fans could kick their ass. Enya
fans could kick their ass. Senate O 'Connor fans
could kick their ass. All right, P. Hey, Sinead
O 'Connor was greatly misunderstood, man. When
she ripped up that picture of the Pope, she was
trying to call attention to the massive child
sexual abuse scandal that no one wanted to talk
about. And some of her issues may have came from
that, too, allegedly. So, yeah, she was a great
example of people shooting the messenger. Yes.
Because they didn't want to know about it yet.
No, they did not, and that was the sole reason
of her doing that. phony outrage yeah so um the
next one trickster oh trickster wow what a waste
of the x in the scrabble game yes yes i'm gonna
go ahead and go with this too trickster if you
just raised your hand in the air their fans would
run and dive out of your way yeah because there
could be some sort of force used near them And
they don't like that. That hurts them. Yeah.
Yeah, it hurts their feelings whenever they see
force being used. I remember back when I was
hunting and I was teaching hunter ed. Oh, no.
Oh, trickster fans. Hang on. Hang on. Go ahead.
Okay, sorry. I remember we were talking about
the toughness of certain animals. It was like
rabbits are the most wimpy animal out there.
It's like you can kill a rabbit with harsh language,
basically. Yes. Simple. So trickster fans are
basically the rabbits of the music fan world.
Harsh language and they'll just keel right over.
Yes. Wayne Newton fans. Oh, yes. Yeah, I mean,
that needs no explanation at all. Now, Wayne
Newton himself could probably kick your ass.
Yeah, yeah, I agree with that. Yeah, but his
fans. Yes. See, a lot of this doesn't have to
do with the artists themselves. It's the fans.
I agree. Yeah, especially on the snotty list.
This next one could be on the snotty list, although
I don't have them on it. Oingo Boingo. Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah. Fad bands. Yep. What band will I like
this week and get tired of next week? Yes. Yep.
Give me one with a catchy name that I can say
five times and then forget. Yeah, I think they
have one album that did well, and I think that
was it. And then they kind of were like the third
bill on all these. things. It's like two relevant
bands. Oh, by the way, Oingo Boingo. Yeah, whatever
the fuck they are. Haircut 100. Oh, yeah. And
Wham. Wham, yes. Oh my gosh. A Wham concert,
you basically had to stock the place with milk
and cookies and soft blankets. Yeah. They're
worried about fragrance. Yeah. Do I smell lavender?
Why, yes, you do. I'm in the right place. How
about Snoddiest fans? Oh, I got a bunch of those.
Okay, good. Man, it was hard to decide which
was going to be top of my list, but because of
my age, I put the top of the list as Bob Dylan
fans because I've been dealing with them since
the 70s. I would agree. I never even thought
about that, but that's true. Bob Dylan fans are
the same that when Dylan strapped on an electric
guitar and turned on an amplifier, they booed
him. Oh, yeah. They chased him off the stage.
So that's how fickle they are. But all you have
to do is, like, this is what I said to a Bob
Dylan fan. I said, love the guy's music, hell
of a songwriter, excellent lyrics, strong message,
good social message for the time. Yeah. Hate
his voice. I wish anybody else had sung it. I
agree. Because I can't stand his voice. And this
guy wanted to punch me. And he started going
off, well, he was the most important figure and
he influenced all these. He started talking about
all these things that had nothing to do with
his voice. And I said, yeah, I already agreed
with that. He's great. He writes great songs.
He was influential. His voice sucks. And then
he'd go off on me again. And then there was the
second Bob Dylan fan who told me to leave his
house because I thought Bob Dylan's voice sucked.
That's naughty. That is such insecurity. I think
that Dylan would have done much better with a
real lead singer, actually. I'm willing to step
out on that myself. I love Alice Cooper, but
dude cannot sing. He's a crappy singer. He really
is a crappy singer. Yeah. But he gets by. But
I'm not going to pretend Alice Cooper's a great
singer just because I like his music. Ozzy, yeah.
He's always out of tune. Yeah. Robert Plant,
all those squeals and screeches, that was always
off tune. He sings better now that he can't do
that high register. Yeah, absolutely. Than he
ever did when he was in Zeppelin. Yeah. So, I
mean, no disrespect to Bob Dylan. I just don't
like his voice. I don't either. And you say that
around a Bob Dylan fan, and they want to cut
you. Right, right. That was part of the message.
Thankfully, Bob Dylan fans have all calmed down
and gone away and gotten old by now. Yeah, most
of them probably took a little too many quaaludes
and never woke up from it or something. Oh, those
were big in the 70s. Oh, yeah, that's why I said
quaaludes. The Moody Blues. Yes. They are snotty
fans. Definitely. And I like the Moody Blues.
I do too. But I don't get snotty about it. No.
Nope, me neither. I'm just a singer in a rock
and roll band. Wildest Dreams. Ride My Seesaw.
White Satin. Yeah, Knights of White Satin. Oh,
man. Yeah, snotty. Yeah. 100 % snotty. Yeah.
I've got a double live album from the Moody Blues,
and man, you can put that on and just meditate.
It is so awesome. Oh, yeah, but they're fans.
Yeah. I mean, they are like the Dylan fans. Yeah.
They're the best band ever. There's a lot of
gatekeeping that goes on with these snotty fans.
There is. You don't get to like them because
you don't understand them enough to like them.
Yes. Yeah. You just don't get it. Yeah. Okay,
I guess not. Yeah. That personifies my next fan
base, Tool fans. Oh, shoot. Tool fans are awful.
I love the band. Love their music. The fans suck.
No, I agree. They suck right out loud. They really
do. And these are the ones that think that there's
no talented band ever except for Tool. Yeah.
They're the only talented band that ever existed.
Now, for a while, Tool fans had kind of a turnover
because every time Tool would come out with a
new album, all their fans would say, Oh, man,
you're sellouts. We hate you now. And then they'd
generate a whole new fan base. Well, they kind
of got over that, but... The general attitude
of the fan base is now, if you don't understand
absolutely everything that's happening, and what
the lyrics mean, and what all this means, and
the secret path right up to Aleister Crowley's
butthole, well, then you're just not good enough
to like Tool, and you shouldn't even look at
them because you're not worthy. Yeah. Fuck you.
Nope. Idiots. Yeah. My next one is fairly obvious,
but I'm going to do it anyhow. Pearl Jam. Yeah.
They think because they like Eddie better and
his fucking goofiness and his messages that they're
better than everybody else, which is absurd.
Yeah. I mean, a guy who sings like he's got marbles
in his mouth on purpose? On purpose, yeah. That's
not someone who's completely genuine. No. That's
somebody who's playing a role. No, and actually,
I know people... Two people that grew up with
him in California, and they say the same thing
about him. They went to school with him. Yeah.
And it's weird because they don't know each other.
They're from completely different parts of the
world. Yeah. And they both said the same thing,
fake. Yep. So I believe it. Yeah. There is very,
very strong evidence that Stevie Wonder is not
blind and never has been. Yeah. That was his
gimmick. And he kind of got stuck with it because
he got famous with the gimmick of being a little
blind Stevie Wonder. So he's like, shit, I've
got to stick with this now. I forgot, like maybe
it was Eddie Murphy or someone that gave it away
accidentally. They said, yeah, us and Steve were
over there looking off the, you know, or something.
And everyone's like, wait a minute. There have
been numerous documented instances where Stevie
Wonder has been driving a car and doing just
fine, shooting a gun and hitting the target.
uh -huh yeah dude can see yeah yeah no i know
ray charles was blind no he was stevie wonder's
been faking it yeah that's funny god bless him
he made a great career out of it didn't he he
did and it's smart too because uh look at how
many years sorry i kicked your foot oh okay that's
all right um look at how many years he got away
with it and a lot of people still don't know
yeah and he's still doing it yeah yeah yeah and
really i think The blind community probably wouldn't
give a damn if he just came out now and said,
you know what, sorry. That'd be like, great job.
The giveaway was he picked his own birthdays.
Yeah, that's true. He's like, no, no, no, okay,
okay. You can't do that all by smell. No. You
can do a lot of it by smell, but not all of it.
All right. Let's see. Is it my turn? Yes. Okay.
Beatles fans. Geez, that bird almost took my
nose off. Yeah, it came right through the...
Beatles fans? Beatles fans. Yeah, yeah, a certain
kind. Yes, I agree. They're the ones that are
like... And I really like the one where John
and Paul were at odds and they came out with
a white album and you could tell the conflict
internally because John would say this and that
shit. And plus, too many of the Beatles fan base
wants the Beatles to get credit for things they
didn't do. Yes. Yeah. Not everything began and
ended with the Beatles. Have you noticed this?
A lot of them think that songs the Beatles didn't
do, they did. Yeah. They'll say, oh, they did
this. It's like, that wasn't them. Yeah. Oh,
well, they must have wrote it. No, they didn't
write it. No, no, no. They had nothing to do
with it. And there were a lot of Beatles songs,
especially early in their career, that were cover
songs. Yes. They didn't write themselves. There's
another one, too. Twist and Shout's a good example.
Yeah. They didn't write that. Was Let Me Do.
I can't remember. Oh, well, you know what? Yeah,
they have four or five of them. R .E .M. fans.
Oh, yeah. Oh, they are a certain brand of snotty
that you can only get from R .E .M. And R .E
.M. singer Michael Stipe encouraged that with
his... He cultivated an image of... You don't
know who I really am. Who am I? Am I this? Am
I that? And it got to the point where no one
just gave a damn anymore. Oh, I know. And he
was the one that said, don't bring up my sexuality
when he always did. Yeah. Nobody else was bringing
it up. But he was like, oh, by the way, don't
ask me questions about my sexuality. And nobody
gave a shit. Dude, we weren't gonna. Yeah, it's
like, that's okay. We don't care. And then eventually
he came out and he made an announcement that
he was gay. And everyone was like, yeah, we don't
care. Yeah, it's like, okay, whatever. It's not
even like we have figured it out. It's just that
we don't care. Yeah, and then the AIDS things.
Because he would always bring it up, I don't
have AIDS. And then people would ask him, do
you have AIDS? And he'd be like, he wouldn't
answer. He'd give a non -answer. Yeah. Yeah,
that also was a thing that was kind of distasteful.
He seemed to kind of try to bandwagon onto AIDS
activism. Yeah. Where no one really believed
that he was sincere about it. I mean, Elton John,
you'd believe him. Yeah, he might be bulimic.
A bunch of other people would do that. But Michael
Stipe, you're like, yeah, you're just piling
on for the image. Yeah, and he was like bulimic
or anorexic or something, probably. But he used
that as a tool to act like he had AIDS, which
is horrible. Yeah. Allegedly. I remember when
heroin chic was in. People pretended to be strung
out on heroin because it looked cool. Yeah, like
bands. Bands, models. You go out to a bar and
there'll be people in there who painted bags
under their eyes to try to give the impression
that they were strung out. Yeah. Just because
it was the in thing. Hear the fuck up. Sheep.
Sheep. Sheep. All right, your turn. God help
me from ever caring what other people think about
me to that degree. You know, you care a certain
degree because you've got to be out there with
people and you've got to be a certain... interaction
and you don't want to hate you we need other
people for certain things yeah but to this degree
i refuse yeah there will be no way it'd be too
fakey but anyhow yeah i can't leave the house
because people don't appreciate the car i have
my car says something awful about me i have to
change my car yeah that is that's a good example
that's like every cyber truck owner yeah it's
like the cyber truck is their penis And it's
a damn ugly one, too. Oh, I've never liked them.
Never liked them. But going out and burning up
Cybertrucks and vandalizing Tesla dealerships,
it's criminal. Stop it. Yeah, and they have cameras
everywhere, you dumbass. Work within the system.
Peaceful protest. Do it right. If you go out
there burning and destroying, then fuck you.
You need to be arrested. And then they go buy
another one from Elon. So how are you hurting
them? I know. Anyhow, we move along. Yours. Here's
another one that is pretty self -explanatory.
Radiohead fans. Oh, yeah. Yeah, without a doubt.
I mean, most of them are okay, but then you've
got that strong contingent that's... solidly
have their heads up their own butts yeah they
think they're the best band ever yeah they're
like oh my god they're songwriting it's like
what songwriting they just kind of hit it they
kind of hit a ditty that did okay and and their
most their their big famous breakthrough song
creep a couple of the guys in the band hated
that song because it was too commercial it sounded
too much like a song yeah my oldest brother mark
was a real fan of radiohead and back And he kept
sending me stuff. Beck is another one. Oh, here's
the latest Radiohead. Oh, here's the new stuff
by Beck. And I was like, dude, I don't like this.
Quit trying to make me like what you like. And
by the way, two deuce bags and a microphone is
not a play off of that. It never was, and it
was never meant to be. I hate that song. No,
it's not the two turntables and a microphone.
No, and that's how come we've never tried to
do a parody of it ever. No. Because, no, that's
not the reason. It was a saying before Beck took
hold of it. Yes. It really was. Yes, it was.
I've got Dave Matthews bands. Oh, I had them
too. Oh, gosh. And, you know, this is after all
of this, you know, be kind to your fellow human,
be generous on the environment, and then he takes
and unloads his shit, or his people did, whether
he knows or not, it's in question, but on the
Chicago, on the bridge over the Chicago River,
unleashed their sewage out of their giant bus.
And it went on people that were doing an architectural
tour on a boat right below. And people still
defended it. Oh, that was a complete accident.
No, it wasn't. Well, first they denied it for
about a week. Yeah, that's right. They said,
that wasn't us. That wasn't us. The cameras caught
him. Yep. So then they blamed the bus driver.
Yes. It was all his fault. Yeah. Yes. See, it's
not the thing that gets you. It's the cover -up
of the thing. It's the cover -up, yeah. that
always screws you. If doing the thing is bad,
covering it up is ten times worse. Ten times
worse. Just take your lumps right ahead. Just
right away take your lumps. Yeah, you come out
and go, all right, it was a mistake. We talked
to the guy that accidentally did that, and we're
going to pay damages, and we're very sorry. It's
never going to happen again. It was a complete
accident. But instead, we didn't do it, we didn't
do it. And then when they say that, oh, it's
a bus driver, nobody believes it. Yeah. Bad move
on their part. Yeah. Plus, it was fashionable
for a while for people to hate on their studio
albums and only like the live performances. Oh,
that's a good one. Yes. Oh, you bought the album?
Well, that's just garbage. You have to go see
them live. Yeah. Okay. How heavy is that gate
you're closing and opening? How did you know
the song was good in the first place if you didn't
like the album? Well, yeah. See, that's the kind
of people that if Dave Matthews plays it live,
they're going to like it. Yes. They've already
made up their minds. Yeah, he could come out
and stick his microphone to his ass and make
fart noises, and it would work. They did that
on South Park. Oh, yeah, that's right. They did.
I enjoyed that more. That was pretty good, yeah.
Let's see. The one guy's dad billed himself as
Steamy Ray Vaughn. Steamy Ray Vaughn, yes. And
then he hooked up with a gal who was Steamy Nicks.
Steamy Nicks. It was just awful. It just kept
getting worse and worse until you had to just
turn it off. That is the great example. If anyone
asks what a parody is, that's one of the best
ones ever. Okay, my next band is Dropkick Murphys.
Oh, yeah. Oh, my gosh. Now, a big reason that
they're on this list of having the most toxic
fans is they have a lot of Nazi fans. Yes, they
do. And they kept showing up to the concerts.
enough to the point where the band had to actually
take steps to keep them out. Yeah. It's like
if your music is appealing to Nazis in big numbers,
then there's something wrong with the music you're
making. Yes. And you need to look at yourself.
It's not just the Nazi bands are one thing, and
then there are the other ones that are just so
staunch and tough about it. Dropkick Murphy's
best ever, or I'll punch you. Yeah, yeah. They
tie up their whole ethnic identity. Yes, in that.
In the Dropkick Murphys. Yeah, so that's a double
tier one right there. Yeah. And that's a great
call. I forgot all about them. Yeah, yeah. I
remember some concerts being trashed because
the Nazi fans would clash with the other fans.
Yes. The bands on stage like, what the hell?
That's where you be like Rolling Stones and you
hire Hell's Angels. Oh, wait a minute. Wait a
minute, wait a minute. I guess I didn't go over
so well. Because that worked so great. Yeah.
I think Dream Theater fans. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I
love Dream. I like Dream Theater a lot. I'm not
that guy. You're not that guy. They're kind of
like Tool fans. They're, well, you have to appreciate
the complexity and the meaning of the time signature.
No, no. They're the ones who made it. They name
all the segments, the time signatures, and the
different rhythms, and breaks, and all that.
Oh, okay, here's break number two. Yeah, and
it's like, no, no, no, no. See, the guys in Dream
Theater went to the Berklee School of Music.
I shouldn't have to go there to listen to their
music. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. If I need a degree
in music in order to appreciate your music, then
I'm not your audience. No, me neither. And nor
do I care enough about it. Yeah, yeah. I either
like it or don't, you know. Yeah, and then you
get the fans like, well, you should listen to
the ears, but here's what you have to do first
to prepare. If this is work, then I'm not. It's
like I'm out. That's too much work to listen
to anything. It's like a job, man. Yeah. Here's
another good one. I need paid for that kind of.
Not so much anymore, but Frank Zappa fans were
obnoxious as hell. Yeah, because he's kind of
been forgotten about so much now. He passed away
a long time ago. He was very relevant in the
60s through the 70s, and then he kind of faded
by the wayside. But in his heyday, Zappa fans
were a pretty obnoxious bunch. And he didn't
hold up after he passed away. It was pretty much
he'd been forgotten about, unfortunately. Yeah,
yeah. But yeah, a certain type of Zappa fans,
because I do like a lot of his stuff and his
influence on a lot of different bands on all
different levels, but they were snotty. They
were. All right. TSO, Trans -Siberian Orchestra.
Oh, yes. Yeah. You know, you're never going to
convince me that every member of the Trans -Siberian
Orchestra is trans. I don't care if they wear
wigs. Yep. I mean, it's an orchestra from Siberia,
and apparently they're all trans. Yeah, I guess
so. It's right there in the name. Then their
alter ego, Sabotage, which is completely different.
If you don't believe me, listen to their music.
And that was all the members, but one of them
died now, so now it's most of the members. Well,
let's see. Devo would sometimes perform under
the name Dove. Yeah. And they would do easy listening
parodies of all their songs. Just because. That
was one of the best ever. It was just like Zach
Wallet used to go to the clubs in Hollywood and
go as Leonard Skinhead. Wow, that's pretty clever.
He just relied on the people who looked at the
name and go, I want to see them. All right. Who
do I got next? I wasn't going to put Swifties
on the list, Taylor Swift fans, but now I kind
of got to because they've been sending death
threats to John Mayer. Yes, I agree. If the fan
base is sending death threats to somebody who
just kind of said something unflattering about
the person you like, you're a toxic fan base.
If you're so insecure about Taylor Swift that
you have to threaten to kill people. who don't
like her, then... You should never care that
much about any artist. Absolutely. That's not
a fan base. That's a worshiping cult. Yes. Yes.
I agree. Good call on that one. Thank you. Actually
a good call. I was trying to leave Swifties off,
but then I saw... After you said that, I think
that's pretty convincing to me. Yeah, they deserve
to be on the list. All Paul Rodgers fans, but
only Paul Rodgers. Yes. The ones that pick him
out of every band he's ever in and go, that guy
is so good. And it's like, well, what about the
other members of Free or the members of Bad Company
or the members of the firm? You know, what about
Jimmy Payne? Oh, no, no, no, Paul Rogers. Well,
didn't Jimmy have a little in the right? Oh,
no, no, Paul Rogers. They are a unique asset.
They are, yeah. Him with his, that, remember
the white British button -up? revolutionary cody
used to wear in free oh yeah yeah that was snotty
and that's where it all began all right i'm gonna
put all fans of reggae music yes yes because
you don't understand it yeah now i have no problem
with reggae music i personally don't like it
very much But the majority of reggae fans are
so caught up in the virtue signaling, they want
to be seen liking reggae because of the message,
because of Bob Marley, because of the political
oppression, that they can't separate the quality
of the music from the message and the image around
it. And then you have the fake snotty ones that
jump on board. They're a whole other level. They
think that they know reggae so well, and all
they know is really a few songs. And they go,
oh, this is so good. And it's like, well, who
is it? I don't know. It's like, all right, then
get out of here. And then they'll hear reggae
influences on pop songs and think that that's
criminal or cultural appropriation. They're stealing.
Yeah, and reggae fans are usually the ones that
tell me, oh, you just think you don't like reggae.
If you heard the right songs, you'd like them.
Really, you think I'm so brain -dead I can't
even have my own opinion. You think I've never
delved into it just a little bit to figure out
whether I like it or not? Is that what you think?
So this one guy said that. I said, oh, okay,
well, in that case, I've got some satanic...
child rape music. And you would love it if you
just heard the right version of satanic child
rape music, right? That's how stupid you sound,
dude. Yep. But, you know, if you like reggae,
fine. If you don't like reggae, fine. If you
feel like you have to promote reggae to make
yourself look like a good person, then screw
you. Yeah, you're fake. Don't need you showing
off about All the wonderful causes you believe
in. Yeah. Do you really need my approval that
badly? No, that's pretty much what it is right
there. Yeah. This next one you'll get, you're
a drummer. Okay, and I could have said this about
Krupa too, but he wasn't nearly as popular as
Ginger Baker. Oh, Ginger Baker was such an asshole.
Yeah, and so was his fans. Yes. No drummer did
anything. Anything except Ginger Baker. Yeah.
They all copied him. They're like Buddy Rich
fans. Yes. They're like, nothing else counts,
just Ginger Baker. He set the precedent for all
drumming, modern day, old time, everything. Yeah,
yeah. There are fans of the bass player Jaco
Pastorius that are like that too. Yes. Oh, you
don't like real jazz because Jaco Pastorius is
real jazz. Yeah, and most of them can't even
name the song he's on. No, and most of them don't
realize that he got the shit beat out of him
for mouthing off to somebody at a nightclub.
Did he? That's how he died. They took him out
to the alleyway out back and just beat him to
death because he seemed such a prick. He had
the habit of coming. I'd forgotten about that.
He'd show up at a club where some other band
was performing, and if he didn't think they were
doing well enough, he would march up on stage
and take the bass guitar away from the bass player
and take over. No wonder he got beat to death.
Did they ever catch the people, or did they care?
I don't think they did. Yeah, they didn't care.
Yeah. Wow. That's how much of a jerk that guy
was. Excellent player. Phenomenal player. So
creative. Totally awful human being. And also
he was the nephew of Oscar. Oscar Pistorius was
a nephew. Oh, the... The Blade Runner. I'm just
going to keep it. Yeah, there we go. Yeah, go
ahead. Jaco Pistorius did not deserve to get
beaten to death. No, he didn't. No, we're not
saying that, but we can see how it happened.
But I can see how he put himself in a situation
where that could happen. Oh, no. Looks like the
show's over, kids. Mark has explosive diarrhea
and can't afford a wireless mic. Fear not, assholes.
They'll be back invading your ear holes soon.