WEBVTT

00:00:18.189 --> 00:00:29.429
Hey, you fucking derelicts. It's time for the

00:00:29.429 --> 00:00:33.130
Daily Douchebag Pledge. I, Joe or Jane Listener,

00:00:33.130 --> 00:00:36.409
hereby promise to download the show. I, Joe or

00:00:36.409 --> 00:00:39.079
Jane Listener. Hereby promise to grab other people's

00:00:39.079 --> 00:00:42.020
phones, unattended computers, public computers,

00:00:42.179 --> 00:00:44.939
and all of my work computers as well, and download

00:00:44.939 --> 00:00:48.219
the show from there. I, Joe or Jane Listener,

00:00:48.219 --> 00:00:51.259
hereby promise to make other people listen. I,

00:00:51.299 --> 00:00:54.570
Joe or Jane Listener. will hereby lie to everyone

00:00:54.570 --> 00:00:58.049
about how quality the show is. I, Joe or Jane

00:00:58.049 --> 00:01:00.729
Listener, promise to make all my family members

00:01:00.729 --> 00:01:03.369
listen and recite the daily douchebag pledge.

00:01:03.649 --> 00:01:07.230
And finally, I, Joe or Jane Listener, hereby

00:01:07.230 --> 00:01:09.650
promise to make the trek to Knobloch, Missouri,

00:01:09.829 --> 00:01:12.549
just to have a selfie with the Knobloch sign.

00:01:13.950 --> 00:01:16.810
Here at Two Douchebags and a Microphone, we don't

00:01:16.810 --> 00:01:20.049
stand behind our journalistic integrity. Go ahead

00:01:20.049 --> 00:01:23.209
and assume we got the story wrong. At least we

00:01:23.209 --> 00:01:26.549
admit it. Not like all those other guys, we can

00:01:26.549 --> 00:01:30.909
and will lie if it makes the story better. Two

00:01:30.909 --> 00:02:21.259
douchebags and a microphone? constant pursuit

00:02:21.259 --> 00:02:24.900
for a real knee slapper. It's strange insults

00:02:24.900 --> 00:02:29.360
from an alien. Real hilarity. You are the human

00:02:29.360 --> 00:02:36.500
equivalent to a participation trophy. The apocalypse

00:02:36.500 --> 00:02:40.219
just happened. You don't know what to do. You

00:02:40.219 --> 00:02:42.979
don't know where to go. But we can tell you what

00:02:42.979 --> 00:02:47.259
you can eat. We're in an apocalypse. You will

00:02:47.259 --> 00:02:50.520
probably need a good insecticide. Soybean, corn,

00:02:50.620 --> 00:02:53.360
and peppermint oil are some plant extracts that

00:02:53.360 --> 00:02:56.139
create powerful natural insecticides. They are

00:02:56.139 --> 00:02:58.599
some of nature's best organic and natural pesticides

00:02:58.599 --> 00:03:01.539
that when combined can make a far more superior

00:03:01.539 --> 00:03:04.919
weapon that growers can effectively use to improve

00:03:04.919 --> 00:03:08.379
their integrated pest management on their crops

00:03:08.379 --> 00:03:14.259
or on their person. Yes, it's true. Mark is an

00:03:14.259 --> 00:03:17.360
old bastard. It's also true that Mark uses a

00:03:17.360 --> 00:03:20.419
lot of ibuprofen. But Mark would like to tell

00:03:20.419 --> 00:03:25.439
you, if you see any pictures of Ibuprofen, it's

00:03:25.439 --> 00:03:27.780
obviously fake, and you're to take the pictures

00:03:27.780 --> 00:03:31.960
and tear them up immediately. And now, Deep Thoughts

00:03:31.960 --> 00:03:38.120
with Mark. Why is it when we skate on thin ice,

00:03:38.319 --> 00:03:42.580
we can get into hot water? That just doesn't

00:03:42.580 --> 00:03:58.930
make sense. Why? Two deuce bags and a microphone.

00:03:59.469 --> 00:04:01.889
I'm in the Kansas City chapter, and my name is

00:04:01.889 --> 00:04:09.490
Mark. And I am on my ankle arm at Lake of the

00:04:09.490 --> 00:04:12.750
Ozarks, and my name is Rob. Beautiful Lake of

00:04:12.750 --> 00:04:16.790
the Ozarks. Beautiful. Sorry, Rob. Sorry, I keep

00:04:16.790 --> 00:04:19.689
busting your balls over that. I'm sorry. I'm

00:04:19.689 --> 00:04:22.550
trying to remember all the words. Yeah, okay.

00:04:23.689 --> 00:04:51.560
Beautiful Lake of the Ozarks. Yes. No, I don't

00:04:51.560 --> 00:04:55.620
mess with them. I don't mess with them. Well...

00:04:57.100 --> 00:05:01.139
I tell them, hey, I ain't got nothing, you know.

00:05:01.579 --> 00:05:03.639
No money. Oh, yeah, yeah, that's right. You did.

00:05:03.720 --> 00:05:06.899
You did. You said direct deposit. That's right.

00:05:07.019 --> 00:05:10.040
Direct deposit. All I have is a debit card. I

00:05:10.040 --> 00:05:13.040
ain't going to a debit machine. Oh, well, up

00:05:13.040 --> 00:05:14.699
here they expect you to. I don't think they're

00:05:14.699 --> 00:05:16.500
so bold down there. I told you what that chick

00:05:16.500 --> 00:05:19.160
said to me. I'm like, no. Oh, yeah, down here

00:05:19.160 --> 00:05:21.939
they're not that bold. Yeah, you got a debit

00:05:21.939 --> 00:05:27.920
card. Actually, yeah, they try to run. Well,

00:05:28.019 --> 00:05:30.279
they do at the city market, too, but every now

00:05:30.279 --> 00:05:32.079
and then a couple of them get through. You know,

00:05:32.120 --> 00:05:35.319
maybe the security's over on the other end tending

00:05:35.319 --> 00:05:37.660
to something. So that's when someone like me

00:05:37.660 --> 00:05:39.379
gets tired of dealing with their bullshit, and

00:05:39.379 --> 00:05:41.019
they just walk into one of the establishments

00:05:41.019 --> 00:05:43.060
and say, hey, you got some vagrants out here

00:05:43.060 --> 00:05:44.839
that will not leave people alone, and then they'll

00:05:44.839 --> 00:05:46.279
shoot them off. And they did. They shoot them

00:05:46.279 --> 00:05:51.060
off. See, the thing is, we do not have a big

00:05:51.060 --> 00:05:54.420
problem with that down here. That's good. That's

00:05:54.420 --> 00:06:09.399
good. You know what I mean? Yeah. If you do find

00:06:09.399 --> 00:06:16.120
them, normally it's the Metherson family. Yeah,

00:06:16.120 --> 00:06:23.000
yeah. The Muthersons, nobody is immune to the

00:06:23.000 --> 00:06:25.420
Muthersons. Everybody has them. Everyone knows

00:06:25.420 --> 00:06:28.199
where they're at. I mean, it's just, it's sad

00:06:28.199 --> 00:06:31.439
is what it is. So, anyhow, I have another tidbit

00:06:31.439 --> 00:06:34.779
from that community, the homeless community.

00:06:35.019 --> 00:06:38.420
Up near the Target and Wendy's off the 150 Highway

00:06:38.420 --> 00:06:40.579
near State Line, you know about where that's

00:06:40.579 --> 00:06:43.819
at, right? Yeah, yeah. There is a panhandler

00:06:43.819 --> 00:06:46.490
area underneath the traffic light. They like

00:06:46.490 --> 00:06:49.029
to sit there and look at you like a sad puppy

00:06:49.029 --> 00:06:50.750
that just got smacked on the nose. You know,

00:06:50.769 --> 00:06:53.790
try to get, you know, tug at your heartstrings.

00:06:53.889 --> 00:06:57.490
Oh man, look, they got a dog and they got a couple

00:06:57.490 --> 00:07:00.810
of kids and all this stuff. But I'm pretty sure,

00:07:00.949 --> 00:07:05.110
I'm pretty sure that this thing is an elaborate

00:07:05.110 --> 00:07:07.050
scheme because there are certain things that

00:07:07.050 --> 00:07:10.269
I'll get to. So I'm making fun of them only because

00:07:10.269 --> 00:07:13.790
of this right here. They have designer high quality

00:07:13.790 --> 00:07:16.459
beach umbrella. So they could sit under it and

00:07:16.459 --> 00:07:18.600
not worry about that annoying sunburn. I mean,

00:07:18.620 --> 00:07:20.560
this is a beautiful umbrella that they have.

00:07:21.079 --> 00:07:23.319
I mean, it's one of the designer ones that you

00:07:23.319 --> 00:07:26.040
would buy from a high -end store. And this thing

00:07:26.040 --> 00:07:28.959
is huge. And they sit underneath it so they don't,

00:07:28.959 --> 00:07:32.139
I don't know, don't get sunburned, I guess. And

00:07:32.139 --> 00:07:34.019
I'm like thinking, wow. And then they have these

00:07:34.019 --> 00:07:36.620
nice chairs. And they sit there in the chairs

00:07:36.620 --> 00:07:39.879
underneath this umbrella and sit there with their

00:07:39.879 --> 00:07:42.439
hand out. And I'm going, what the hell is going

00:07:42.439 --> 00:07:45.129
on here? You know, did I wake up in an... an

00:07:45.129 --> 00:07:48.170
alternate universe where well you know what i

00:07:48.170 --> 00:07:50.870
gotta say this though rob it's better better

00:07:50.870 --> 00:07:54.129
than washington dc i was up there this is the

00:07:54.129 --> 00:07:55.949
first time i've ever been to washington dc this

00:07:55.949 --> 00:07:58.649
quite a few years ago i think it's 07 i had to

00:07:58.649 --> 00:08:01.850
go up there on a job and i just freaked out because

00:08:01.850 --> 00:08:06.029
they have tents right next to stop lights and

00:08:06.029 --> 00:08:09.269
stop signs and someone reaches their hand out

00:08:09.720 --> 00:08:11.920
And people open up their window and just give

00:08:11.920 --> 00:08:13.839
them money in their hand. And then they don't

00:08:13.839 --> 00:08:16.779
even get out of the tent. Can you believe that?

00:08:19.300 --> 00:08:23.160
Really? Yeah. I was amazed. I look at the people

00:08:23.160 --> 00:08:24.899
working with me. I go, did you guys just see

00:08:24.899 --> 00:08:27.980
that? And they're like, yeah. And we're just

00:08:27.980 --> 00:08:31.579
shaking our head going, you know. It's like,

00:08:31.639 --> 00:08:36.440
we're the dumb ones, I guess. There's a panhandler

00:08:36.440 --> 00:08:38.200
that's underneath the light, and they sit there.

00:08:38.299 --> 00:08:41.159
Like I said, they look sad at you. So, anyhow,

00:08:41.299 --> 00:08:43.220
they have this high -quality beach umbrella.

00:08:43.220 --> 00:08:45.340
It's probably about a $300 umbrella. I looked

00:08:45.340 --> 00:08:47.980
them up. They also appear to be wearing Ray -Ban

00:08:47.980 --> 00:08:50.919
shades. I really couldn't get a read on the shoes,

00:08:50.980 --> 00:08:55.059
but I'm almost certain those are Ray -Ban. You

00:08:55.059 --> 00:08:58.940
know how Ray -Ban has that unique design on them?

00:08:59.039 --> 00:09:01.720
Yeah. Yeah, it was that, whatever they call that,

00:09:01.820 --> 00:09:06.289
that kind of, I don't know. sleek look. I'm pretty

00:09:06.289 --> 00:09:08.190
sure they were Ray -Ban unless they were really

00:09:08.190 --> 00:09:10.610
good knockoffs. They were Ray -Ban. So they have

00:09:10.610 --> 00:09:12.629
Ray -Ban. They have a designer umbrella. I couldn't

00:09:12.629 --> 00:09:15.730
tell about the shoes. But believe me, they were

00:09:15.730 --> 00:09:19.490
dressed better than me. I mean, so I'm on the

00:09:19.490 --> 00:09:21.049
other side of the highway waiting on a light

00:09:21.049 --> 00:09:24.190
and people are shoveling money at them. You know,

00:09:24.210 --> 00:09:29.509
Rob, I mean, are we the dumb ones? We go to work

00:09:29.509 --> 00:09:32.970
every day, tear up our bodies. Yeah, we are.

00:09:33.210 --> 00:09:36.169
It makes me wonder, yeah. No, but there's this

00:09:36.169 --> 00:09:41.389
thing as, oh, what do you call it? Self -satisfaction,

00:09:41.389 --> 00:09:45.289
you know, how you feel about it, how you look

00:09:45.289 --> 00:09:48.350
to others. You know what I mean? All this stuff.

00:09:49.470 --> 00:09:51.950
Quality of yourself. I mean, I'm sorry. I know

00:09:51.950 --> 00:09:53.529
there's people that are down on their luck, but

00:09:53.529 --> 00:09:57.429
I could never do that out of me just not wanting.

00:09:57.980 --> 00:10:00.080
to be that person you know what i mean like hey

00:10:00.080 --> 00:10:01.919
i'm just sitting here getting money from people

00:10:01.919 --> 00:10:06.460
nah i'll make my own that's cool so so their

00:10:06.460 --> 00:10:08.779
car if it's the one that i always see in the

00:10:08.779 --> 00:10:11.279
shopping center it's a really nice honda yet

00:10:11.279 --> 00:10:14.179
suv i'm not sure if it's there but i see that

00:10:14.179 --> 00:10:16.299
car parked every time they're panhandling so

00:10:16.299 --> 00:10:19.399
i mean every time they're there that honda suv

00:10:19.399 --> 00:10:20.919
is there whenever they're not there it's gone

00:10:20.919 --> 00:10:24.019
so i kind of think it's there so there again

00:10:24.019 --> 00:10:27.440
i mean another high dollar, or fairly high dollar

00:10:27.440 --> 00:10:29.120
item, you know, especially if you're homeless

00:10:29.120 --> 00:10:33.620
or whatever. So, anyhow, my old buddy Gene Simmons,

00:10:33.940 --> 00:10:39.179
he's at it again, Rob. Always. Always. Never

00:10:39.179 --> 00:10:42.100
stops. Not only is he doing another Kiss show

00:10:42.100 --> 00:10:45.559
after they retired, but now you can be his personal

00:10:45.559 --> 00:10:50.480
roadie for a day. All you need is $12 ,000. I

00:10:50.480 --> 00:10:54.000
read that. Gene, carry your own fucking equipment,

00:10:54.120 --> 00:11:00.899
you fat fuck. You might work off that fucking

00:11:00.899 --> 00:11:07.019
huge gut you developed. Seriously. And anyone

00:11:07.019 --> 00:11:10.179
that gives 12 grand to haul his shit around is

00:11:10.179 --> 00:11:17.519
a moron. You're not a fan. You're a moron. Write

00:11:17.519 --> 00:11:19.649
in. If you don't like what I said, fucking write

00:11:19.649 --> 00:11:22.450
in. I'm certain of this. Hey, hey. No, no, no.

00:11:22.470 --> 00:11:25.389
Wait a second. Let me put my two cents on it.

00:11:25.389 --> 00:11:28.789
Yes, please do, Rob. I want to hear this. 12

00:11:28.789 --> 00:11:35.889
fucking grand? I'll go do it. If he pays me 12

00:11:35.889 --> 00:11:37.629
grand, I'll do it, but I ain't paying him 12

00:11:37.629 --> 00:11:40.309
grand to do it. What a fucking... That's like

00:11:40.309 --> 00:11:47.320
a three -month salary for me. Yeah. Yeah. Why

00:11:47.320 --> 00:11:52.820
not? For one night? Why not? Yeah, there is no

00:11:52.820 --> 00:11:55.340
way I would pay that. I would never pay that

00:11:55.340 --> 00:11:59.559
fucking asshole $12 ,000 to go hold his shit

00:11:59.559 --> 00:12:04.899
around. Are you using? Yeah, hell yeah. So...

00:12:05.559 --> 00:12:08.419
Anyhow, while I'm at this bitch session about

00:12:08.419 --> 00:12:10.379
money and all that stuff, you know, because we

00:12:10.379 --> 00:12:15.340
go from the panhandlers to Gene Simmons, in my

00:12:15.340 --> 00:12:19.960
opinion, ripping people off. So, anyhow. Oh,

00:12:20.059 --> 00:12:25.799
what now? Did you take a Percocet? No, I did

00:12:25.799 --> 00:12:29.559
not. No, this is... Just asking. I barely had

00:12:29.559 --> 00:12:34.629
ibuprofen today. I had one. I just wanted to

00:12:34.629 --> 00:12:56.599
know which way we were going tonight. possible

00:12:56.599 --> 00:12:59.340
causes, maybe the insurance company, more than

00:12:59.340 --> 00:13:01.340
they figured it up, you know, they figured it

00:13:01.340 --> 00:13:03.919
up wrong, or whatever the issue might be, they

00:13:03.919 --> 00:13:06.120
never give me my money back, like, in a check.

00:13:06.399 --> 00:13:09.580
Instead, they give me credit. I don't want fucking

00:13:09.580 --> 00:13:11.820
credit. What if I don't do business with you

00:13:11.820 --> 00:13:14.279
again? Are you just going to keep it? At a desk?

00:13:14.940 --> 00:13:18.779
Yes. They fucking give you credit. And then I

00:13:18.779 --> 00:13:21.539
call down their pay. That should be illegal.

00:13:22.220 --> 00:13:25.980
I think so, too. It pisses me off, and I may

00:13:25.980 --> 00:13:28.360
leave them because of it. Because it's like this.

00:13:29.000 --> 00:13:30.720
They're not going to send you a check back. Or

00:13:30.720 --> 00:13:32.379
how about when I'm in there, I go, you know what?

00:13:32.519 --> 00:13:36.419
We overcharged you 50 bucks. Here it is. I'd

00:13:36.419 --> 00:13:39.539
have some respect for that. But it's like, oh,

00:13:39.580 --> 00:13:42.419
we just put it credit for your next bill. How

00:13:42.419 --> 00:13:45.720
do you know there's a next bill? And also, you're

00:13:45.720 --> 00:13:47.539
keeping my money. How about some interest on

00:13:47.539 --> 00:13:50.639
it? It's just like Ticketmaster when a concert.

00:13:51.149 --> 00:13:53.370
goes through or whatever. People need to really

00:13:53.370 --> 00:13:55.549
start thinking about this stuff. I definitely

00:13:55.549 --> 00:13:58.070
am. I don't know if I'll ever go to another concert

00:13:58.070 --> 00:13:59.850
again in my life because of the way they do things.

00:13:59.929 --> 00:14:02.929
It pisses me off to no end. And the thing is...

00:14:02.929 --> 00:14:06.429
I don't know. I'm being talked into going to

00:14:06.429 --> 00:14:10.610
Darius Rucker. You know what? I mean, he's really

00:14:10.610 --> 00:14:13.629
good though. I mean, I would enjoy that too.

00:14:13.750 --> 00:14:17.370
He's really good. So, that will probably happen.

00:14:17.629 --> 00:14:21.000
He's going to be right here in Campton. Okay,

00:14:22.220 --> 00:14:24.639
that will happen. That one will happen. I'm pretty

00:14:24.639 --> 00:14:26.720
sure about that, unless he breaks his leg or

00:14:26.720 --> 00:14:28.580
something. But I'm pretty sure that'll happen.

00:14:29.100 --> 00:14:31.679
You know, even car insurance, as crooked as they

00:14:31.679 --> 00:14:34.879
are, they'll send you a check back. Yeah, I usually

00:14:34.879 --> 00:14:37.240
pay my car insurance online every six months

00:14:37.240 --> 00:14:40.139
at a time. And I'll look around for a better

00:14:40.139 --> 00:14:42.639
price. If I feel the rates should be lower, I'll

00:14:42.639 --> 00:14:44.820
find another policy and I'll cancel them after

00:14:44.820 --> 00:14:46.960
a month or so. And I get a check in the mail

00:14:46.960 --> 00:14:50.019
for a refund for the five months, right? Insurance

00:14:50.019 --> 00:14:52.840
company doesn't go, hey, we're going to go ahead

00:14:52.840 --> 00:14:54.980
and just put credit. We're going to give you

00:14:54.980 --> 00:14:58.539
credit, 600 credit or whatever. And, you know,

00:14:58.539 --> 00:15:00.559
the next time you business with us, it'll be

00:15:00.559 --> 00:15:02.480
here. No, they don't do that. They send you a

00:15:02.480 --> 00:15:04.740
check back. Matter of fact, I got a check in

00:15:04.740 --> 00:15:07.659
my wallet right now for $33 from Nebraska Furniture

00:15:07.659 --> 00:15:12.039
Mart because they sent me an old bill accidentally

00:15:12.039 --> 00:15:15.059
and I paid it and I didn't owe all of it. And

00:15:15.059 --> 00:15:17.620
I go to the mail and I'm like, hmm, Nebraska

00:15:17.620 --> 00:15:20.429
Furniture Mart, I paid that off. And then I open

00:15:20.429 --> 00:15:22.710
it up and it's a check. I'm like, wow. And then

00:15:22.710 --> 00:15:24.570
it's like, oh, that's how come it had that minus

00:15:24.570 --> 00:15:26.429
33. I was wondering about that. I'm like, wait

00:15:26.429 --> 00:15:29.129
a minute, am I in debt 33? Or does that mean

00:15:29.129 --> 00:15:31.850
I paid it all up? Or does that mean you owe me

00:15:31.850 --> 00:15:37.110
33? So I guess they owed it to me. So this is

00:15:37.110 --> 00:15:39.169
no different than like I've been bitching about

00:15:39.169 --> 00:15:41.690
Ticketmaster, Live Nation. You know, I don't

00:15:41.690 --> 00:15:44.190
want credit. This is a dentist's office, not

00:15:44.190 --> 00:15:46.799
a Walmart. Walmart, you can take something back

00:15:46.799 --> 00:15:48.820
after five years, and they won't give you money

00:15:48.820 --> 00:15:53.080
back, but they'll go, here, how about for $40

00:15:53.080 --> 00:15:55.659
worth of store credit, and the smart person grabs

00:15:55.659 --> 00:16:00.960
that and runs. Yeah. Yeah, so anyhow, I can't

00:16:00.960 --> 00:16:02.779
get through the dental store and start picking

00:16:02.779 --> 00:16:05.039
up items with my credit. You know, you can't

00:16:05.039 --> 00:16:08.820
go up there and go, I'll take 10 of those toothbrushes.

00:16:08.899 --> 00:16:12.500
Is that a vibrating plaque remover? How much

00:16:12.500 --> 00:16:15.679
is that? Will my credit cover that? You can't

00:16:15.679 --> 00:16:20.659
do that. No, you can't. Yeah. So, you know, teeth

00:16:20.659 --> 00:16:23.039
whitener? Yeah, that might be within the reach.

00:16:23.120 --> 00:16:25.059
You know, I got $50 credit. Hey, how much is

00:16:25.059 --> 00:16:27.740
that teeth whitener? Eh, about $45. Okay, how

00:16:27.740 --> 00:16:32.440
about that and a $5 check? So, no, uh -uh. So,

00:16:32.480 --> 00:16:34.259
if you overcharge me... You're going to save

00:16:34.259 --> 00:16:38.100
the $5. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so, you know, if you

00:16:38.100 --> 00:16:40.870
take my money and keep it like that... My rules

00:16:40.870 --> 00:16:45.990
is I get 30 % compounded interest daily. Yeah.

00:16:46.110 --> 00:16:48.129
Until you give it back. That's my money rule.

00:16:48.250 --> 00:16:50.110
So if you keep my money, that's what you expect

00:16:50.110 --> 00:16:54.529
to do. So, and Rob, you're going to... Yeah,

00:16:54.529 --> 00:17:01.590
we're like books. Yes. So, and they're not the

00:17:01.590 --> 00:17:04.029
only ones who do it. Look, my doctor's office

00:17:04.029 --> 00:17:06.670
is great. They don't do that. They never just...

00:17:06.940 --> 00:17:08.799
due credit. They'll give me money back if they

00:17:08.799 --> 00:17:13.700
owe it to me. They're fantastic. It's just the

00:17:13.700 --> 00:17:15.400
dentist office, and I don't know if it's all

00:17:15.400 --> 00:17:18.660
of them, but the one that I go to, they do that,

00:17:18.799 --> 00:17:22.920
and it irritates the piss out of me. So, switching

00:17:22.920 --> 00:17:25.759
gears completely, let's get away from that. I

00:17:25.759 --> 00:17:28.220
got a little energy in it. I know it's a little

00:17:28.220 --> 00:17:30.400
negative, but it's also having fun, but we'll

00:17:30.400 --> 00:17:32.440
just leave that lie. Everyone can figure out

00:17:32.440 --> 00:17:34.259
what they want to about it. Think what they want

00:17:34.259 --> 00:17:37.849
to. It's fine. About a month ago, I find this

00:17:37.849 --> 00:17:42.029
newer spice. It is wood -fired garlic from Kinder.

00:17:42.410 --> 00:17:44.750
Kinder makes those spices. Have you seen it in

00:17:44.750 --> 00:17:48.029
the plastic bottle? Yeah, I have. I have. Okay.

00:17:48.329 --> 00:17:50.769
There's a wood -fired garlic that is out of this

00:17:50.769 --> 00:17:55.589
world. Wow, that sounds good. Oh, it is insane,

00:17:55.809 --> 00:17:59.470
dude. You know, they make a lot of unique spices,

00:17:59.789 --> 00:18:01.710
Kinder does. They have interesting stuff, and

00:18:01.710 --> 00:18:05.619
they're all quality. I take this wood -fired

00:18:05.619 --> 00:18:09.700
roasted garlic, and I just put that alone on

00:18:09.700 --> 00:18:13.460
steaks, and it was heavenly, dude. I put it on

00:18:13.460 --> 00:18:16.799
fried chicken. It was amazing. I put it on grilled

00:18:16.799 --> 00:18:19.599
chicken. It was amazing. This thing is a catch

00:18:19.599 --> 00:18:23.319
-all. Wood -fired roasted garlic is what you're

00:18:23.319 --> 00:18:24.920
looking for. And I'm telling you what, if you

00:18:24.920 --> 00:18:27.380
go get Kinder. I'm writing it down right now,

00:18:27.440 --> 00:18:30.539
seriously. You'll be thanking me, Rob. I mean,

00:18:30.559 --> 00:18:32.839
just when you buy it, you go out to the car.

00:18:33.889 --> 00:18:36.849
Open up that lid and just smell, and you'll be

00:18:36.849 --> 00:18:40.089
like, oh, my gosh. You'll see what I mean. I'll

00:18:40.089 --> 00:18:43.190
probably be dumping it down my throat. I'm telling

00:18:43.190 --> 00:18:46.210
you, man, that spice is heavenly. Oh, it's something

00:18:46.210 --> 00:18:49.750
else. So I'm pretty sure anyone that does this,

00:18:50.329 --> 00:18:54.069
you know, I mean, you'll be thanking me. And

00:18:54.069 --> 00:18:56.109
they don't pay me anything. They're not an advertiser

00:18:56.109 --> 00:19:00.430
at all in any way. Yeah, we're not advertising

00:19:00.430 --> 00:19:04.029
nothing yet. We're advertising, but we don't

00:19:04.029 --> 00:19:06.630
even get paid for it. The one guy that I've been

00:19:06.630 --> 00:19:08.549
talking to, he's having a problem with the investors.

00:19:08.690 --> 00:19:12.710
They don't want to advertise, and he does. So

00:19:12.710 --> 00:19:14.869
they're kind of at a stalemate, but it is his

00:19:14.869 --> 00:19:17.190
company. He'll win eventually. It's just going

00:19:17.190 --> 00:19:19.589
to take a little bit longer than I thought. So

00:19:19.589 --> 00:19:21.970
when he does, he does. I told him, I said, no

00:19:21.970 --> 00:19:24.069
big deal. We're used to not making shit anyhow,

00:19:24.210 --> 00:19:29.250
right? Mm -hmm. Yeah, and I mean... Like we tell

00:19:29.250 --> 00:19:31.990
everybody, it's a hobby. Yeah, it's a hobby.

00:19:32.309 --> 00:19:34.089
We have fun doing this. At this point, it's a

00:19:34.089 --> 00:19:37.670
hobby. We make nothing. We would love for it

00:19:37.670 --> 00:19:39.849
to go further, and if it does, great. If not,

00:19:39.990 --> 00:19:43.369
then you know what? Hey, it's what it is. But,

00:19:43.410 --> 00:19:45.690
you know, we're on the front page of iHeart,

00:19:45.809 --> 00:19:49.630
you know? I know. I know. Two times. Please come

00:19:49.630 --> 00:19:55.230
on. And I looked it up, and they decide. You

00:19:55.230 --> 00:19:58.009
don't do anything. They just go, hey, what about

00:19:58.009 --> 00:20:00.759
this one? You want to put them on the front page?

00:20:00.859 --> 00:20:04.259
Someone had to have, like, from iHeart, looked

00:20:04.259 --> 00:20:07.259
at it and said, two deuce bags of Micron. Maybe

00:20:07.259 --> 00:20:09.140
gave us a list and said, you know what, I want

00:20:09.140 --> 00:20:12.539
that on the front page. Right. And that would

00:20:12.539 --> 00:20:16.099
explain the surge in numbers around that time.

00:20:16.839 --> 00:20:20.140
I think the name is going to take us a ways,

00:20:20.279 --> 00:20:22.400
too. I'm pretty sure the name probably caught

00:20:22.400 --> 00:20:26.440
whoever does that. Yes. Attention. Hmm. Two douchebags

00:20:26.440 --> 00:20:29.579
and Michael. Hey, these guys are a little bold

00:20:29.579 --> 00:20:32.920
here. Yeah, yeah. And I'm sure that out of all

00:20:32.920 --> 00:20:35.940
the mundane stuff that's podcast, self -help,

00:20:36.119 --> 00:20:41.799
budgeting your money, interviews, you know, interior

00:20:41.799 --> 00:20:46.559
decorating, you know, all this stuff, okay? This

00:20:46.559 --> 00:20:51.640
is different by design. We're not going to tell

00:20:51.640 --> 00:20:54.109
you how to save money. We're not going to tell

00:20:54.109 --> 00:20:56.390
you any self -help. What we're going to hopefully

00:20:56.390 --> 00:20:58.529
do is make you laugh and go, I can't believe

00:20:58.529 --> 00:21:00.269
they said that, or I can't believe they did that.

00:21:00.450 --> 00:21:02.890
That's our whole purpose here. We're not trying

00:21:02.890 --> 00:21:06.829
to say anything except fuck everybody. And fuck

00:21:06.829 --> 00:21:10.529
us, too. Hell, if nothing else, we'll tell you

00:21:10.529 --> 00:21:13.210
how to spend money. Yeah, yeah, we're pretty

00:21:13.210 --> 00:21:16.930
damn good at that, let me tell you. Yeah. Yeah.

00:21:17.589 --> 00:21:20.950
So, okay, I told you that Wiener World is shut

00:21:20.950 --> 00:21:25.740
down, right? Yes, yes. I'm getting ready to make

00:21:25.740 --> 00:21:29.579
a trip up there. I know. I know, Rob. I'm sorry.

00:21:30.079 --> 00:21:34.200
Bad day. But we are hitting Justin Jim's. Definitely.

00:21:34.559 --> 00:21:38.500
Yeah, and we're also going to hit Dave's Hot

00:21:38.500 --> 00:21:44.819
Chicken. Yes. Oh, definitely. Yep. Yeah, I'll

00:21:44.819 --> 00:21:47.700
be up there for a weekend. Okay, cool. We'll

00:21:47.700 --> 00:21:51.660
figure it out. I don't know when, but I'll be

00:21:51.660 --> 00:21:56.420
up there. Okay, we'll figure it out. I got the

00:21:56.420 --> 00:22:00.180
wheels now. Yeah, I love your wheels too. That

00:22:00.180 --> 00:22:05.819
is a beautiful truck. Oh, yes. Got me a 2012

00:22:05.819 --> 00:22:12.940
Nissan Frontier. It is beautiful. And the miles

00:22:12.940 --> 00:22:18.240
aren't bad. Yeah, 208 ,000. That's not bad at

00:22:18.240 --> 00:22:19.779
all. You got a pretty good deal on that truck.

00:22:20.000 --> 00:22:24.779
You got a really good deal. So, from what I understand

00:22:24.779 --> 00:22:28.799
this, what happened with Wiener World is, the

00:22:28.799 --> 00:22:32.500
Walmart that's right next door there, they reconfigured

00:22:32.500 --> 00:22:36.200
their exits, and it made it hard for people to

00:22:36.200 --> 00:22:38.519
go into the entrance of Wiener World. It was

00:22:38.519 --> 00:22:42.029
too confusing. And they said that when that happened,

00:22:42.150 --> 00:22:44.430
their business dropped off by three quarters

00:22:44.430 --> 00:22:46.289
because people didn't want to deal with it. Because

00:22:46.289 --> 00:22:49.609
that's a busy section of town there. It's right

00:22:49.609 --> 00:22:52.049
off Metcalf and people go there for other businesses

00:22:52.049 --> 00:22:58.349
like Walmart. Okay. Yeah, so from what I read,

00:22:58.549 --> 00:23:02.009
they're going to look for another location. But

00:23:02.009 --> 00:23:04.569
as of right now, they're gone. But they're going

00:23:04.569 --> 00:23:06.269
to look for another location that's not going

00:23:06.269 --> 00:23:08.589
to be interfered with by, you know, Walmart or

00:23:08.589 --> 00:23:11.309
whatever. So I read this online. Don't know if

00:23:11.309 --> 00:23:13.509
it's true or not. But from the source, I think

00:23:13.509 --> 00:23:15.970
it is. But it may not be. So disclaimer there.

00:23:17.150 --> 00:23:20.329
So speaking of Walmarts, it reminded me of this

00:23:20.329 --> 00:23:22.769
right here. This guy that I used to go out of

00:23:22.769 --> 00:23:25.650
town with, Brian, he gave me a really good tip

00:23:25.650 --> 00:23:29.920
about Walmart and hotel stays. Okay. This started

00:23:29.920 --> 00:23:31.799
in Newark, Delaware. We were working late on

00:23:31.799 --> 00:23:34.339
a Sunday evening getting the job complete. We

00:23:34.339 --> 00:23:36.519
were headed back home from Philadelphia International

00:23:36.519 --> 00:23:39.519
to come home the next day. It was about 60 miles

00:23:39.519 --> 00:23:43.319
from Philadelphia International Airport. And

00:23:43.319 --> 00:23:46.400
Newark, Delaware is like just up the road a little

00:23:46.400 --> 00:23:48.859
bit. It's just outside the Philadelphia metro

00:23:48.859 --> 00:23:51.680
area, but it's not that far. It's a college town.

00:23:52.970 --> 00:23:54.869
Brian gets a call from the big guy. You know,

00:23:54.869 --> 00:23:56.150
we're getting ready to go back to the hotel,

00:23:56.250 --> 00:23:59.170
wash up and get up early for our flight. And

00:23:59.170 --> 00:24:00.970
he wants us to go to Sanford, Florida the next

00:24:00.970 --> 00:24:03.369
morning instead. So we had to book everything

00:24:03.369 --> 00:24:07.670
when we arrived in Orlando. So we get to the

00:24:07.670 --> 00:24:10.890
job and we had to find the library at University

00:24:10.890 --> 00:24:13.450
of Central Florida is where the job was at. We

00:24:13.450 --> 00:24:15.009
found the library that we're going to go work

00:24:15.009 --> 00:24:18.569
on. So then we go to find a hotel room because

00:24:18.569 --> 00:24:21.549
we do that in the morning because we found out

00:24:21.549 --> 00:24:24.500
the hard way. Sometimes, if you wait until evening,

00:24:24.559 --> 00:24:27.019
there's none available. So we went ahead and,

00:24:27.039 --> 00:24:29.339
you know, we booked it. We go by the nearest

00:24:29.339 --> 00:24:32.259
Walmart. He said, no, can't book here because

00:24:32.259 --> 00:24:34.339
there's a hotel right next to it. We go a few

00:24:34.339 --> 00:24:36.079
more miles to another Walmart. He said, okay,

00:24:36.200 --> 00:24:38.700
we can book a room here. I look at him. I go,

00:24:38.799 --> 00:24:41.480
what the hell are you talking about? He had a

00:24:41.480 --> 00:24:44.140
formula. And I'm telling you, anybody that's

00:24:44.140 --> 00:24:46.099
out of town and you don't have a room booked,

00:24:46.240 --> 00:24:49.259
look for this. It works. He proved it to me.

00:24:49.819 --> 00:24:53.160
His formula was. You do not get a hotel room

00:24:53.160 --> 00:24:55.460
near a Walmart that has trash in the parking

00:24:55.460 --> 00:24:58.680
lot and shopping carts all over. The area is

00:24:58.680 --> 00:25:01.819
not a good area. You go to the next nearest Walmart

00:25:01.819 --> 00:25:04.559
and you check out the parking lot. So the next

00:25:04.559 --> 00:25:06.940
one was all neat and pretty and well kept. We

00:25:06.940 --> 00:25:08.819
booked right down the road and it was a nice,

00:25:08.819 --> 00:25:11.779
clean, comfortable hotel. And then a few days

00:25:11.779 --> 00:25:14.099
later, we found out there's a murder at the hotel

00:25:14.099 --> 00:25:17.539
right across from the hotel that we could have

00:25:17.539 --> 00:25:21.859
stayed at. So Brian was right. I live by this

00:25:21.859 --> 00:25:25.900
when I'm able to. That's a good idea. It is.

00:25:25.920 --> 00:25:29.259
I never, ever thought of that, ever. Until he

00:25:29.259 --> 00:25:32.700
mentioned that, I'm like, wow, that's true. That

00:25:32.700 --> 00:25:35.740
is true. And so we had a great hotel room, and

00:25:35.740 --> 00:25:37.519
we didn't go to the scuzzy one down the road.

00:25:37.579 --> 00:25:39.259
And it was perfect, you know. And that's the

00:25:39.259 --> 00:25:42.940
beauty about us booking our own stuff on a project

00:25:42.940 --> 00:25:45.220
like that. It comes out of nowhere. Someone calls

00:25:45.220 --> 00:25:47.480
and goes, hey, the installer walked off the job.

00:25:47.559 --> 00:25:49.869
And then he's like, oh, shit. The guys are in

00:25:49.869 --> 00:25:51.430
Delaware. Oh, they're going to come home tomorrow.

00:25:51.670 --> 00:25:53.369
I'll give them a call and see if they'll just

00:25:53.369 --> 00:25:56.569
go straight to Orlando from there. And Brian

00:25:56.569 --> 00:25:59.509
and I was like, sure. We've already been gone

00:25:59.509 --> 00:26:02.150
a long time. What's another couple of days? And

00:26:02.150 --> 00:26:04.549
also, Brian was getting ready to go to New Zealand,

00:26:04.630 --> 00:26:07.009
so he knew he was coming back in three days anyhow,

00:26:07.150 --> 00:26:13.039
so he didn't give a shit. Anyhow, I think that's

00:26:13.039 --> 00:26:15.799
pretty much all I got for this part of it because

00:26:15.799 --> 00:26:17.779
I have a bunch more stuff, but I'm not getting

00:26:17.779 --> 00:26:20.019
into it because we're already 22 minutes into

00:26:20.019 --> 00:26:25.240
this. It's time to let Rob talk. Thank you. Yeah.

00:26:25.319 --> 00:26:30.900
So, Rob, be my guest. Okay. It's a sad day in

00:26:30.900 --> 00:26:37.460
the music world. Oh, no. Yes. Legendary singer

00:26:37.460 --> 00:26:42.200
Johnny Mathis. the voice of romance, announced

00:26:42.200 --> 00:26:45.640
Wednesday on social media that he is retiring

00:26:45.640 --> 00:26:49.700
from live performances. The announcement posted

00:26:49.700 --> 00:26:53.759
on his Facebook page comes as the 89 -year -old

00:26:53.759 --> 00:26:59.619
is facing issues with his memory and age. I understand

00:26:59.619 --> 00:27:10.579
that at age 89. Like not falling on my shoulder.

00:27:11.640 --> 00:27:18.180
Yeah. Oh, that's too bad. As many of you already

00:27:18.180 --> 00:27:23.460
be aware, Johnny Mathis is approaching his 90th

00:27:23.460 --> 00:27:27.839
birthday this year, the post says. So it's with

00:27:27.839 --> 00:27:32.839
sincere regret that due to Mr. Mathis' age and

00:27:32.839 --> 00:27:36.690
memory issues, which have accelerated, we are

00:27:36.690 --> 00:27:39.630
announcing his retirement from touring and live

00:27:39.630 --> 00:27:48.470
concerts. I said, I find it amazing, amazing

00:27:48.470 --> 00:27:53.430
that he was still touring in 89. Me too. I didn't

00:27:53.430 --> 00:27:57.230
know he was. I didn't either. I do have the last

00:27:57.230 --> 00:28:03.519
four venues. Okay, cool. Though he is in massive

00:28:03.519 --> 00:28:07.220
retirement, fans can still see Mathis during

00:28:07.220 --> 00:28:11.539
his Voice of Romance tour and just four final

00:28:11.539 --> 00:28:16.380
concerts. I love the name of that tour. I love

00:28:16.380 --> 00:28:19.519
the name of that tour, Voice of Romance. He is.

00:28:19.779 --> 00:28:23.480
Yeah. Wow, very cool. That's his nickname. Yeah.

00:28:23.559 --> 00:28:29.359
Okay. Thursday, April 10th at Lures Performing

00:28:29.359 --> 00:28:37.269
Arts Center. in Shippensburg, Pennsylvania. Saturday,

00:28:37.390 --> 00:28:41.609
April 26th, at Blue Gate Performing Arts Center

00:28:41.609 --> 00:28:50.309
in Shipshawana, Indiana. Saturday, May 10th,

00:28:50.309 --> 00:28:54.390
at Luther Burbank Center in Santa Rosa, California.

00:28:56.710 --> 00:29:02.720
And his final show, Sunday, May 18th at Burgeon

00:29:02.720 --> 00:29:07.660
Performing Arts Center in Englewood, New Jersey.

00:29:09.759 --> 00:29:14.579
Nice. That's nice, because that is going to be

00:29:14.579 --> 00:29:17.700
a New York gig. Englewood, New Jersey is not

00:29:17.700 --> 00:29:20.680
that far. So that should be a sold -out one,

00:29:20.779 --> 00:29:24.940
and wow. I had no idea it was still going. I

00:29:24.940 --> 00:29:28.549
think all four of these will be sold out. I would

00:29:28.549 --> 00:29:31.670
think so. He's retiring, and it may have been

00:29:31.670 --> 00:29:36.150
sold out anyhow. I imagine he still has an audience,

00:29:36.470 --> 00:29:44.509
although older. Oh, yeah. I like him. I like

00:29:44.509 --> 00:29:48.910
him, too. I grew up listening to him. My parents.

00:29:49.230 --> 00:29:51.609
Okay, my parents didn't listen to him, but I

00:29:51.609 --> 00:29:54.869
knew of him and admired his work. His voice is

00:29:54.869 --> 00:29:59.789
so smooth. I mean, he was just so good at that

00:29:59.789 --> 00:30:03.109
smooth talk. You know, he was kind of like a

00:30:03.109 --> 00:30:07.730
white Marvin Gaye almost. Something like that.

00:30:08.349 --> 00:30:10.750
Only different. You know what I mean? Just really

00:30:10.750 --> 00:30:15.529
smooth. So, all right. Is that all of that one?

00:30:16.849 --> 00:30:18.769
Yeah, that's all of that one. All right. You

00:30:18.769 --> 00:30:22.680
want to come back with emails? Oh, you know I

00:30:22.680 --> 00:30:26.779
do. Me too. I love email. There's some good ones.

00:30:26.940 --> 00:30:30.200
Again, I don't even need to say it anymore. There's

00:30:30.200 --> 00:30:32.180
some really good ones. So, we'll be right back.

00:30:33.279 --> 00:30:38.460
Yeah, you promised me one. Yes. Yes, I got that.

00:30:38.619 --> 00:30:42.319
It's the second one. I got one from Mitch. I'm

00:30:42.319 --> 00:30:46.759
done first. Oh, Mitch. I love Mitch. Mitch is

00:30:46.759 --> 00:30:48.740
becoming... I mean, I love Ronnie and Tulsi.

00:30:48.779 --> 00:30:52.170
He's in the... He's in the, what would you call

00:30:52.170 --> 00:30:56.349
it? He's in our Hall of Fame. He's like the Mount

00:30:56.349 --> 00:31:00.970
Rushmore of our fans. Mitch is right there. Gosh.

00:31:01.230 --> 00:31:07.210
So anyhow, we'll be right back. Yeah. Strange,

00:31:07.509 --> 00:31:12.269
but true. Albert Titanic Chadwick was born abroad

00:31:12.269 --> 00:31:16.009
the Titanic on April 14, 1912. During its tragic

00:31:16.009 --> 00:31:18.589
collision with the iceberg. His mother, in honor

00:31:18.589 --> 00:31:20.670
of the catastrophic event, gave him the middle

00:31:20.670 --> 00:31:24.450
name, Titanic. Miraculously, Albert survived

00:31:24.450 --> 00:31:26.930
the disaster and his life continued beyond the

00:31:26.930 --> 00:31:31.150
tragedy. He passed away April 19th, 1983, and

00:31:31.150 --> 00:31:34.130
was later buried in Shurston, United Kingdom.

00:31:35.009 --> 00:31:39.789
Oh shit, what's that over there? Oh no, it's

00:31:39.789 --> 00:31:46.799
the island of horrible jokes. Want to hear a

00:31:46.799 --> 00:31:59.920
joke about labor? It's terrible. Why, Whataburger,

00:32:00.079 --> 00:32:05.140
you say? Well, because what a deep -fried crispy

00:32:05.140 --> 00:32:07.940
chicken nugget just didn't have the right ring.

00:32:11.859 --> 00:32:15.420
Hey everybody, this is Uncle Rob. I'm going to

00:32:15.420 --> 00:32:20.440
give you some tips for life. This is Uncle Rob's

00:32:20.440 --> 00:32:25.559
rules to dick pics. Rule number one. Type of

00:32:25.559 --> 00:32:29.140
a pic in someone else's name. So if you get busted,

00:32:29.380 --> 00:32:34.559
it's not yours. Rule number two. Shoot angles

00:32:34.559 --> 00:32:39.039
complementary to your length and girth. Rule

00:32:39.039 --> 00:32:52.859
number four. No propping of the leg. Have you

00:32:52.859 --> 00:32:54.779
ever wondered where something came from? Have

00:32:54.779 --> 00:32:56.799
you ever looked at something and said, hmm, I

00:32:56.799 --> 00:32:59.779
wonder what the origin of that is? Well, so have

00:32:59.779 --> 00:33:04.740
we. That's why we give you The Origin of... The

00:33:04.740 --> 00:33:08.880
Origin of the Hamburger Bun. The family of Oscar

00:33:08.880 --> 00:33:11.859
Willerby claims the first known hamburger on

00:33:11.859 --> 00:33:15.980
a bun was served on July 4, 1891 on Grandpa Oscar's

00:33:15.980 --> 00:33:20.460
farm. The bun was reportedly a yeast bun. Your

00:33:20.460 --> 00:33:23.799
mom is so old. She walked out of the museum and

00:33:23.799 --> 00:33:27.259
the alarm went off. No bat light here. These

00:33:27.259 --> 00:33:30.640
idiots just show up and hope for the best. Now

00:33:30.640 --> 00:33:37.039
it's time for Pickup Lines from a Loser. There's

00:33:37.039 --> 00:33:39.019
something wrong with my phone. It doesn't have

00:33:39.019 --> 00:33:42.819
your number in it. Hey there, fuckstick. You're

00:33:42.819 --> 00:33:45.039
just in time for brand new feature news nobody

00:33:45.039 --> 00:33:49.640
gives a shit about. A store in Amsterdam has

00:33:49.640 --> 00:33:53.049
a glass -blowing kit. for people that want to

00:33:53.049 --> 00:34:07.730
make their own bongs. And I am Rob, and I am

00:34:07.730 --> 00:34:11.150
at the beautiful black wall of the Lake of the

00:34:11.150 --> 00:34:16.070
Ozarks. Beautiful, Rob. I got it right that time.

00:34:16.110 --> 00:34:19.530
You did. All right, getting right into them.

00:34:19.840 --> 00:34:21.920
Hey, dudes, I have a place in Clarksville, Arkansas.

00:34:22.280 --> 00:34:25.400
You need me to hide the Narcan? I can. Mitch

00:34:25.400 --> 00:34:32.199
in Clarksville. Mitch, please, and thank you.

00:34:33.739 --> 00:34:36.880
Oh, no, bury it, Mitch. Keep an eye out for Quinn.

00:34:37.260 --> 00:34:39.599
Yeah, smack him in the face with a brick, and

00:34:39.599 --> 00:34:44.420
then hide the Narcan. Play keep away with the

00:34:44.420 --> 00:34:50.440
Narcan. Go, and then run off with it. Oh, yeah.

00:34:50.920 --> 00:34:53.000
I imagine I'll probably hear from Clint now.

00:34:53.059 --> 00:34:54.739
I haven't heard from him in a couple of weeks,

00:34:54.780 --> 00:34:56.400
so now that we're mentioning him, he's going

00:34:56.400 --> 00:34:59.719
to get big and bold. You watch. He's probably

00:34:59.719 --> 00:35:02.880
on a bender. Yeah, he probably is. He'll be back

00:35:02.880 --> 00:35:09.539
someday, maybe. This one's for you, Rob. Like

00:35:09.539 --> 00:35:12.699
I said. Yes. Hey, Mark. This is the one I've

00:35:12.699 --> 00:35:16.719
been waiting for. I love it. To me, it says everything

00:35:16.719 --> 00:35:20.380
perfectly, but I'll let you hear it. Hey Mark,

00:35:20.539 --> 00:35:23.579
I hope you read this on the show. Rob is a genius.

00:35:23.940 --> 00:35:26.519
He isn't a guy that will recite you world history,

00:35:26.659 --> 00:35:29.039
but he is a guy that has a lot of common sense

00:35:29.039 --> 00:35:32.659
and wit. I agree completely with what you've

00:35:32.659 --> 00:35:36.579
said. Intelligence isn't just book -wise. It's

00:35:36.579 --> 00:35:39.539
in fact so much more. I tend to look at intelligence

00:35:39.539 --> 00:35:42.800
as quick wit and problem solving. Lord knows

00:35:42.800 --> 00:35:44.980
I know many people that you take a book away

00:35:44.980 --> 00:35:48.000
from them and they're clueless. Rob, keep up

00:35:48.000 --> 00:35:49.880
the good work. And Mark, you know how to showcase

00:35:49.880 --> 00:35:53.579
Rob's humor and personality perfect. I will keep

00:35:53.579 --> 00:35:56.199
spreading the word here in Indiana. I have three

00:35:56.199 --> 00:35:59.019
people I turned on to the show. They all download

00:35:59.019 --> 00:36:03.440
the podcast regularly. Thomas in Anderson, Indiana.

00:36:03.500 --> 00:36:07.219
I don't know where Anderson is. I don't either.

00:36:08.599 --> 00:36:13.739
Wow. Thank you. Thank you. I couldn't have said

00:36:13.739 --> 00:36:20.579
it any better. Well, that pretty much describes

00:36:20.579 --> 00:36:26.159
me. Yeah. I learn from doing. I don't learn from

00:36:26.159 --> 00:36:31.340
reading books. You know? No, I know. Oh, it's

00:36:31.340 --> 00:36:33.460
beautiful, Anderson, Indiana. There's a lot of

00:36:33.460 --> 00:36:38.039
woods, and I think it is in northern... There's

00:36:38.039 --> 00:36:42.360
54 ,788 people at the 20 -20 sentence. I'm looking

00:36:42.360 --> 00:36:54.880
at... It's a nice looking town. Okay, cool. I

00:36:54.880 --> 00:37:08.320
think it might be near Indianapolis. Hey, they

00:37:08.320 --> 00:37:15.710
got a speedway. Oh, cool. Anderson Speedway.

00:37:15.829 --> 00:37:22.369
It is 43 miles from Indianapolis. Probably about

00:37:22.369 --> 00:37:26.190
Harrisonville or something like that. Or maybe

00:37:26.190 --> 00:37:31.769
Kearney. No, probably past Kearney. Seven hours

00:37:31.769 --> 00:37:36.469
and two minutes from Kansas. There you go. Thank

00:37:36.469 --> 00:37:40.650
you, Thomas. Thank you. Like I said, I couldn't

00:37:40.650 --> 00:37:43.090
agree with it. That more. I mean, that was said

00:37:43.090 --> 00:37:47.630
perfectly. Thank you. Yeah. Hey, guys, I have

00:37:47.630 --> 00:37:50.630
my seven Missouri towns list. I love the way

00:37:50.630 --> 00:37:55.809
Mark switched it around to me. Thanks. You know,

00:37:55.849 --> 00:37:58.929
he said this list. That's what Mark's good at.

00:37:59.329 --> 00:38:02.010
That's what Mark's good at. He sounds a little

00:38:02.010 --> 00:38:06.809
disappointed. He's got a good list. He's got

00:38:06.809 --> 00:38:10.659
a good list. His number one. Or actually, number

00:38:10.659 --> 00:38:14.340
seven is Humansville. I thought that was pretty

00:38:14.340 --> 00:38:16.340
solid, Humansville. That's a pretty odd name.

00:38:17.579 --> 00:38:21.559
About an hour and 15 minutes from me. That's

00:38:21.559 --> 00:38:23.159
what I thought. It's over in central Missouri,

00:38:23.340 --> 00:38:27.800
isn't it? Yeah, I got family over close to that

00:38:27.800 --> 00:38:31.139
area. Okay. This next one is Shell Knob. We all

00:38:31.139 --> 00:38:34.739
know that. That's Table Rock Lake. And I like

00:38:34.739 --> 00:38:37.000
that area really good. Nice hills, great lake.

00:38:37.099 --> 00:38:40.269
It's a beautiful area. The next one I'd never

00:38:40.269 --> 00:38:42.670
heard of before, but I looked it up and he was

00:38:42.670 --> 00:38:49.289
right. Bell Fountain Neighbors. It is unincorporated,

00:38:49.349 --> 00:38:52.650
but it's a town. Bell Fountain Neighbors. Bell

00:38:52.650 --> 00:38:57.329
Fountain Neighbors. It's spelled B -E -L -L -E

00:38:57.329 --> 00:39:00.710
-F -O -N -T -A -I -N -E. I believe that's Bell

00:39:00.710 --> 00:39:04.300
Fountain. Or, I don't think it's Fontaine, Bellefontaine.

00:39:04.320 --> 00:39:06.880
I think it's Bellefontaine Neighbors. But, anyhow,

00:39:07.039 --> 00:39:10.800
either way, whatever it is. Fair Play, which

00:39:10.800 --> 00:39:12.719
is a good one. I know where that's at, and I

00:39:12.719 --> 00:39:14.860
know you know where it's at. I have family down

00:39:14.860 --> 00:39:17.920
around there, too. Okay. That's down around the

00:39:17.920 --> 00:39:22.639
Pomme de Terre area. Yes. It's just north of

00:39:22.639 --> 00:39:25.659
Pomme de Terre, isn't it? Over kind of near Wheatland?

00:39:26.599 --> 00:39:31.389
Kind of southwest. Oh, okay. All right. I got

00:39:31.389 --> 00:39:35.210
my towns mixed up. The next one, Tightwad, which

00:39:35.210 --> 00:39:37.210
we all know about, but I'm glad he put them on

00:39:37.210 --> 00:39:43.329
there. His second is Knob Noster, which I get

00:39:43.329 --> 00:39:47.409
it. And his first is Swollen Knob Creek. It's

00:39:47.409 --> 00:39:50.769
a township. It's unincorporated, but it is recognized

00:39:50.769 --> 00:39:53.829
as a town's name. Doesn't have a post office.

00:39:54.329 --> 00:39:57.079
Doesn't have a zip code per se. But it would

00:39:57.079 --> 00:40:01.699
be like Judon is, you know, Judon, right? That's

00:40:01.699 --> 00:40:04.460
not a town, but it's like a township name. Same

00:40:04.460 --> 00:40:06.159
thing with a swollen mouth. You gotta know where

00:40:06.159 --> 00:40:10.039
Judon is. We do. Yeah. And it's actually taken

00:40:10.039 --> 00:40:13.579
from a French name, Judon. It should be pronounced

00:40:13.579 --> 00:40:18.659
Judon, but we... Yeah, yeah. Actually, they changed

00:40:18.659 --> 00:40:21.000
the barn to an eating venue now. It's kind of

00:40:21.000 --> 00:40:24.500
neat. And it's got a big outdoor patio and stuff.

00:40:24.539 --> 00:40:28.000
It's kind of neat. Yeah, actually, our old friend

00:40:28.000 --> 00:40:32.980
Clint goes out there every now and then. Oh,

00:40:32.980 --> 00:40:36.460
that Clint, not the one. Okay, yeah. Big Clint.

00:40:36.760 --> 00:40:40.039
Big Clint, yeah. The one that used to work with

00:40:40.039 --> 00:40:42.260
us. Yes, I know who you're talking about. Yeah,

00:40:42.380 --> 00:40:48.699
okay. Next one. Mark, I'm getting sick of the

00:40:48.699 --> 00:40:51.599
same intro to the show. You've had it a long

00:40:51.599 --> 00:40:54.039
time. Maybe it's time to freshen that up, Bernie.

00:40:54.320 --> 00:40:59.039
You know, we have had the same intro. You know,

00:40:59.119 --> 00:41:02.699
live from the city market or whatever. That voice

00:41:02.699 --> 00:41:04.380
guy, I don't know how to find him anymore. I

00:41:04.380 --> 00:41:06.920
don't even remember his name, honestly. I'd have

00:41:06.920 --> 00:41:10.559
to have someone else do the voice. I actually

00:41:10.559 --> 00:41:14.219
think I have Chad doing one of an intro. That

00:41:14.219 --> 00:41:20.000
I never used. There you go. Bernie, I'm working

00:41:20.000 --> 00:41:23.840
on it. It might be a few weeks, but I'll get

00:41:23.840 --> 00:41:29.099
to it. But I think that's a good idea. This next

00:41:29.099 --> 00:41:34.280
one. I'm sorry, but you guys only provide an

00:41:34.280 --> 00:41:36.139
hour and a half of content two times a week.

00:41:36.239 --> 00:41:38.239
You think you're close to a regular show on the

00:41:38.239 --> 00:41:41.119
radio? Sorry, but that's usually four hours a

00:41:41.119 --> 00:41:44.210
day, five days a week. You would need five times

00:41:44.210 --> 00:41:47.769
the content you have now per week. Go stuff it.

00:41:47.929 --> 00:41:53.070
Trace. Okay. Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's he getting

00:41:53.070 --> 00:41:57.110
at? We didn't explain that. We work 40 hours

00:41:57.110 --> 00:42:00.449
a week like everybody else. I don't think we

00:42:00.449 --> 00:42:04.130
ever said we'd give all that content. We've never

00:42:04.130 --> 00:42:08.769
said that. We've never said. No. You know. I

00:42:08.769 --> 00:42:12.219
didn't come up with the content. You know, we've

00:42:12.219 --> 00:42:14.900
never put ourselves... We don't have the time

00:42:14.900 --> 00:42:17.579
because we work for a living, just like everybody

00:42:17.579 --> 00:42:20.380
else. Yeah. We have an hour and a half four times

00:42:20.380 --> 00:42:22.159
a week. An hour and a half is three hours of

00:42:22.159 --> 00:42:26.019
radio, if you want to know the truth. Three hours

00:42:26.019 --> 00:42:28.280
of radio equals about an hour and a half of content

00:42:28.280 --> 00:42:31.059
because of the commercials. So we have two three

00:42:31.059 --> 00:42:33.000
-hour shows. That's better than a lot of them.

00:42:33.219 --> 00:42:36.079
And then you mix in the ones with Topher, and

00:42:36.079 --> 00:42:38.269
that's another... hour and a half, which should

00:42:38.269 --> 00:42:41.130
equal a three -hour show. Yeah, you guys go,

00:42:41.230 --> 00:42:43.949
like, three, four hours. Yeah, so, actually,

00:42:44.090 --> 00:42:46.909
it equals out to pretty close. With music, creeps,

00:42:46.909 --> 00:42:54.090
and... Yeah. So, actually, talking about it,

00:42:54.110 --> 00:42:56.309
we're not that far, but we never even claim to

00:42:56.309 --> 00:43:02.090
be. Yeah. Yeah, so, we're not that far off, but,

00:43:02.170 --> 00:43:04.670
anyhow, I still say this, go listen elsewhere,

00:43:04.849 --> 00:43:08.639
and go fuck yourself. That's all I got. Agreed.

00:43:09.320 --> 00:43:11.559
Agreed. I don't understand where that came from

00:43:11.559 --> 00:43:13.840
at all. We've never said anything like that.

00:43:14.679 --> 00:43:17.099
We've always just done our stuff and put it out

00:43:17.099 --> 00:43:21.659
there. I don't even know who he's comparing us

00:43:21.659 --> 00:43:26.500
to. He never said. Yeah. Oh, well. All right,

00:43:26.500 --> 00:43:31.440
Rob, you got something? That's all of them. You

00:43:31.440 --> 00:43:34.420
want to go into our list? Yes, that's a good

00:43:34.420 --> 00:43:42.500
idea. Okay. For me, coming at number seven is

00:43:42.500 --> 00:43:46.480
Blue High. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:43:47.079 --> 00:43:55.300
Yeah. Actually, it's south of Branson, and the

00:43:55.300 --> 00:43:59.360
north side of town is in Missouri, and the south

00:43:59.360 --> 00:44:03.599
side of town is in Arkansas. Yep. Seriously.

00:44:04.559 --> 00:44:07.860
These are all towns I've been in, except one.

00:44:08.420 --> 00:44:15.420
And I've got to get there now. Knoblick. We'll

00:44:15.420 --> 00:44:22.940
get there. We will. Okay, number six. And this

00:44:22.940 --> 00:44:28.539
is coming from our home area, Cass County. Hmm.

00:44:32.199 --> 00:44:36.300
I never even thought about that. Wow. Peculiar

00:44:36.300 --> 00:44:40.420
is a peculiar name. Yes. That's a good one, Rob.

00:44:42.079 --> 00:44:51.599
Okay, number five. Licking. Yes. Missouri. Yep,

00:44:51.599 --> 00:44:54.280
I've got that. I've got that on mine. You're

00:44:54.280 --> 00:44:59.460
right. We did overlap. Good name. Yeah. And number

00:44:59.460 --> 00:45:05.619
four is one. North of Kansas City, and it's a

00:45:05.619 --> 00:45:11.119
very boonies. And it's called Conception Junction.

00:45:11.179 --> 00:45:16.360
Oh my God, I forgot about that one. Yeah. There's

00:45:16.360 --> 00:45:20.800
an old monastery, old rundown monastery there.

00:45:21.539 --> 00:45:27.900
Yeah, wow. Dude, good call. I used to live up

00:45:27.900 --> 00:45:31.710
around there. Okay. Yeah, isn't that... Close

00:45:31.710 --> 00:45:36.010
to Troy, Missouri, not Troy, Kansas. I think

00:45:36.010 --> 00:45:38.449
somewhere. Oh, well. No, no, no, no, no, no,

00:45:38.449 --> 00:45:44.610
no. It's, uh... Oh, you go up through King City.

00:45:45.670 --> 00:45:51.449
Oh. Yeah, it's... Okay, I think... Way out in

00:45:51.449 --> 00:45:53.949
the boonies on this two. It's actually on a,

00:45:54.050 --> 00:46:03.920
like, 90 -degree curve on this two lane. Wow.

00:46:03.920 --> 00:46:06.260
I've never been there before, but I know of it.

00:46:06.280 --> 00:46:08.860
That's for sure. I've seen it on there. I've

00:46:08.860 --> 00:46:12.000
been through it a few times. What is it? A couple

00:46:12.000 --> 00:46:20.880
of houses? That and the Rundown Monastery. It's

00:46:20.880 --> 00:46:26.199
still there. The last time I was in it was like

00:46:26.199 --> 00:46:35.449
2000, 2001. Okay. Okay, coming in at number three.

00:46:37.489 --> 00:46:52.010
Uranus. Yep. I -44. Yeah. Is it the east side

00:46:52.010 --> 00:46:57.050
of Springfield a little ways? Yeah, yeah. It's

00:46:57.050 --> 00:47:00.230
like the Waynesville, St. Robert area. Yeah,

00:47:00.230 --> 00:47:03.800
that's what I thought. Okay, cool. Yeah. Fort

00:47:03.800 --> 00:47:11.800
Leonard Wood, that area. Yeah. Coming in at number

00:47:11.800 --> 00:47:18.099
two, gotta be Tightwad. Tightwad's on, we overlapped

00:47:18.099 --> 00:47:23.900
on that one, too. Yep. And, of course, number

00:47:23.900 --> 00:47:29.480
one. Mm -hmm. Oblick. Mm -hmm. Oblick's up there

00:47:29.480 --> 00:47:34.199
with mine, too. Good one, Ron. We knew those

00:47:34.199 --> 00:47:38.139
two would be. Those are great. Yeah, yeah. We

00:47:38.139 --> 00:47:39.940
knew Knoblick was going to be on there, definitely.

00:47:40.260 --> 00:47:44.860
And maybe Tightwad. All right. Here's my top

00:47:44.860 --> 00:47:51.699
seven. Number seven is Bodark. It's pronounced

00:47:51.699 --> 00:47:58.219
Bodark. B -O -apostrophe -D -A -R -K. Yep. That

00:47:58.219 --> 00:48:01.579
is a pronunciation, but it's spelled. B -O -I

00:48:01.579 --> 00:48:07.599
-S -D -A -R -C. Yep. So, that would be French,

00:48:07.880 --> 00:48:12.780
I believe. So, Bodark is how you call it here.

00:48:12.920 --> 00:48:16.480
And that's how they call it, too, Bodark. I know

00:48:16.480 --> 00:48:18.579
where it's at. Yeah, I'm not even sure if that's

00:48:18.579 --> 00:48:22.239
how you spell it here, or how you pronounce it

00:48:22.239 --> 00:48:25.340
here, but this is what they do there. Like Nevada,

00:48:25.340 --> 00:48:29.820
Nevada, that whole thing. Yeah. Number six is

00:48:29.820 --> 00:48:33.570
Festus. Over there near St. Louis. There you

00:48:33.570 --> 00:48:36.449
go. I've always loved that name. Festus. Oh,

00:48:36.449 --> 00:48:41.710
yeah. Gunsmoke, man. Yes. Festus. Yes, I always

00:48:41.710 --> 00:48:43.210
think of that whenever I drive through there.

00:48:44.409 --> 00:48:49.510
Yeah. That was a lot of our childhood. Yeah.

00:48:49.670 --> 00:48:55.170
Yep. Yeah, so I could not ignore Festus. Number

00:48:55.170 --> 00:49:00.369
five. It is spelled like this. And I'll tell

00:49:00.369 --> 00:49:04.590
you how it's pronounced. H -E -R -C -U -L -A

00:49:04.590 --> 00:49:11.210
-N -E -U. It is pronounced Herculean. Herculean,

00:49:11.210 --> 00:49:15.909
Missouri. I have never heard of that. Look it

00:49:15.909 --> 00:49:20.949
up. H -E -R -C -U -L -A -N -E -U. Herculean.

00:49:20.949 --> 00:49:25.230
However they get that from there. Number four.

00:49:26.289 --> 00:49:34.840
Halfway. Yes. Yeah, halfway to where? No, I can

00:49:34.840 --> 00:49:39.840
answer that. Okay. It's actually halfway between

00:49:39.840 --> 00:49:43.059
Bolivar and Buffalo. Oh, is that what it is?

00:49:43.239 --> 00:49:47.880
32 highway, yes. Oh, okay. I have family in Bolivar

00:49:47.880 --> 00:49:50.559
and I have family in Buffalo. I used to drive

00:49:50.559 --> 00:49:54.800
through there all the time. So they just simply

00:49:54.800 --> 00:49:58.940
named it halfway. Cool. Yeah. No, it's actually

00:49:58.940 --> 00:50:01.880
more like a four -way stop. Okay. A gas station.

00:50:02.400 --> 00:50:05.599
Okay. Yeah. Yeah, it's a township. It's a name,

00:50:05.719 --> 00:50:10.019
so. Yeah. All right. Number three is good old

00:50:10.019 --> 00:50:12.460
tightwad. How could I ignore them? I mean, you

00:50:12.460 --> 00:50:14.440
know, how many car parts you get from that? A

00:50:14.440 --> 00:50:16.960
lot. And then what are you supposed to find for

00:50:16.960 --> 00:50:21.760
Mitch or whatever now? I forgot all. Oh, you

00:50:21.760 --> 00:50:24.800
know what? I'll go back and listen. All right.

00:50:24.840 --> 00:50:28.800
Yeah. Okay, number two. Well, it wouldn't do

00:50:28.800 --> 00:50:31.260
no good because he's not at that damn address.

00:50:31.519 --> 00:50:33.500
I know. You'd have to go all the way down to,

00:50:33.599 --> 00:50:36.019
where is he at now? Oh, he's in Clarksville now.

00:50:36.099 --> 00:50:39.400
You can't go all the way there. Yeah. Yeah. I

00:50:39.400 --> 00:50:41.719
mean, I know he has summer homes everywhere else,

00:50:41.719 --> 00:50:44.820
and I think his main home is in South Central.

00:50:44.960 --> 00:50:48.340
Cass County, was that it? Something like that.

00:50:48.380 --> 00:50:51.780
I don't remember. Yeah, we got two or three from

00:50:51.780 --> 00:50:54.570
him there. Yeah. I would say that. Yeah, that'd

00:50:54.570 --> 00:50:59.090
be his main home. He must be a rich dude, man.

00:50:59.230 --> 00:51:01.630
He must be. I know. I want to know what he does

00:51:01.630 --> 00:51:05.969
for a living. Wow. Mitch, you're awesome. Let

00:51:05.969 --> 00:51:07.590
us know what you do. Yeah, he lives in a travel

00:51:07.590 --> 00:51:10.090
camp or one or two. Oh, that could be. Maybe

00:51:10.090 --> 00:51:12.469
that's Mitch's secret to where he lives everywhere.

00:51:12.750 --> 00:51:18.289
That could be. Number two. What? Keep living.

00:51:18.769 --> 00:51:21.510
Yeah. Yeah, Mitch has got it made, man. He's

00:51:21.510 --> 00:51:25.250
everywhere. All right. Number two is good old

00:51:25.250 --> 00:51:30.969
Knoblick. Of course, they're our new go -to city.

00:51:31.190 --> 00:51:34.170
You know, after Montrose let us down, Knoblick

00:51:34.170 --> 00:51:36.150
has been there for us, standing like a rock.

00:51:36.949 --> 00:51:42.010
And number one, Licking, Missouri. How could

00:51:42.010 --> 00:51:46.570
I ignore that? What a name. Yes. Yeah, so there

00:51:46.570 --> 00:51:49.550
we go. Those are my seven. So, Rob, you got something

00:51:49.550 --> 00:51:54.110
you want to go into? Yeah, I do. All right, be

00:51:54.110 --> 00:51:59.369
my guest. A Candace babysitter received a hair

00:51:59.369 --> 00:52:02.550
-raising fright Monday night when she came face

00:52:02.550 --> 00:52:05.809
-to -face with a grown man hiding underneath

00:52:05.809 --> 00:52:13.150
a child's bed as she checked for monsters. Wow.

00:52:14.030 --> 00:52:19.079
Yeah. As the woman was putting the children to

00:52:19.079 --> 00:52:23.360
sleep just outside the city of Great Bend around

00:52:23.360 --> 00:52:28.599
10 .30 p .m. Is that Kansas? Was that Kansas?

00:52:28.719 --> 00:52:32.460
Great Bend, Kansas? Yeah, this is in Kansas.

00:52:32.619 --> 00:52:36.820
Great Bend, Kansas. Okay. One of the kids complained

00:52:36.820 --> 00:52:40.760
about a monster lurking in the room and Barton

00:52:40.760 --> 00:52:45.480
County Sheriff's Office said. When the babysitter

00:52:45.480 --> 00:52:48.139
tried to show the child there was nothing to

00:52:48.139 --> 00:52:52.659
worry about, she made a heart -stopping discovery.

00:52:54.179 --> 00:52:59.699
A male suspect identified as 27 -year -old Martin

00:52:59.699 --> 00:53:04.179
Villalobos Jr. was under the bed, law enforcement

00:53:04.179 --> 00:53:10.260
said. An altercation ensued between Villalobos

00:53:10.260 --> 00:53:13.880
and the babysitter. before he ran from the house.

00:53:14.260 --> 00:53:18.659
One of the children was knocked over in the commotion.

00:53:19.619 --> 00:53:23.619
The following morning, sheriff's deputies spotted

00:53:23.619 --> 00:53:27.599
the subject in the area in Rustem after a brief

00:53:27.599 --> 00:53:32.639
foot chase. Villalobos once lived at the home,

00:53:32.760 --> 00:53:36.099
but was banned from the property because of an

00:53:36.099 --> 00:53:41.389
abuse order. His relationship to the children

00:53:41.389 --> 00:53:44.150
and the residents of the home was not released

00:53:44.150 --> 00:53:48.570
by authorities. He's facing charges of aggravated

00:53:48.570 --> 00:53:53.309
kidnapping, aggravated battery, aggravated battery,

00:53:53.590 --> 00:53:59.429
child endangerment, and felony obstruction of

00:53:59.429 --> 00:54:03.789
law enforcement officers. He is also facing a

00:54:03.789 --> 00:54:07.570
violation of the protection order against him.

00:54:07.980 --> 00:54:12.579
And is held in custody for a $500 ,000 bail.

00:54:14.239 --> 00:54:17.300
I'm glad they got that much on him. Because that

00:54:17.300 --> 00:54:19.340
will take $50 ,000 to bail him out. And I'm pretty

00:54:19.340 --> 00:54:24.639
sure that loser doesn't have it. What I want

00:54:24.639 --> 00:54:28.079
to know is, is he going to pay for this kid's...

00:54:28.079 --> 00:54:31.539
I know what you're going to say. Yeah, that's

00:54:31.539 --> 00:54:34.820
a good point. Therapy. Yeah. Yeah, that kid's

00:54:34.820 --> 00:54:37.000
not going to be able to sleep for a long time.

00:54:39.480 --> 00:54:48.360
Yeah. Yeah, but imagine being a babysitter and

00:54:48.360 --> 00:54:55.780
finding that. Yeah, I was a babysitter or something,

00:54:55.920 --> 00:55:03.820
you know. Just doing the, oh, it's okay, look

00:55:03.820 --> 00:55:06.280
down there, there's actually somebody there.

00:55:06.889 --> 00:55:10.429
That would freak you out. Yeah. Yeah, it would.

00:55:12.670 --> 00:55:18.349
Wow. Let's take our second break, and we'll come

00:55:18.349 --> 00:55:21.789
back with more stuff that sound all right. Sounds

00:55:21.789 --> 00:55:25.110
good. That's what's going to happen. All aware

00:55:25.110 --> 00:55:27.909
of the Amber Alert, right? Well, get rid of your

00:55:27.909 --> 00:55:30.489
disinfectants and rubber bedspreads, kids. It's

00:55:30.489 --> 00:55:33.860
the all -new Amber Herd Alert System. This fantastic

00:55:33.860 --> 00:55:36.559
early warning device helps one stay dry and rid

00:55:36.559 --> 00:55:39.659
of all those annoying mattress invoices. Simply

00:55:39.659 --> 00:55:42.300
hook up to child under six or psychopath and

00:55:42.300 --> 00:55:44.920
wait for the running water sound. This clever

00:55:44.920 --> 00:55:47.219
machine has three distinct settings, babbling

00:55:47.219 --> 00:55:49.639
brook, ocean waves, and roaring river for those

00:55:49.639 --> 00:55:53.039
close calls. Order today and get a free Cinnabon

00:55:53.039 --> 00:56:00.860
Renusic cartridge. used to listen to our original

00:56:00.860 --> 00:56:03.619
show, Two Dipshits and a Cheap Radio Shack Realistic

00:56:03.619 --> 00:56:06.860
Tape Recorder. Harambe does not listen to our

00:56:06.860 --> 00:56:08.920
original show, Two Dipshits and a Cheap Radio

00:56:08.920 --> 00:56:12.500
Shack Realistic Tape Recorder anymore. You might

00:56:12.500 --> 00:56:15.000
ask why Harambe never listens to our original

00:56:15.000 --> 00:56:17.559
show, Two Dipshits and a Cheap Radio Shack Realistic

00:56:17.559 --> 00:56:20.820
Tape Recorder. Well, it's because Harambe is

00:56:20.820 --> 00:56:23.460
dead. Senselessly murdered because some idiot

00:56:23.460 --> 00:56:25.559
did not watch her child properly while looking

00:56:25.559 --> 00:56:28.559
on her phone. Sadly, Arambe does not listen to

00:56:28.559 --> 00:56:30.519
our original show, Two Gibshits and the Cheap

00:56:30.519 --> 00:56:33.320
Radio Shack Realistic Dig Recorder, or any other

00:56:33.320 --> 00:56:38.139
show. Anymore. Sorry, Arambe. Two douchebags

00:56:38.139 --> 00:56:40.159
and microphone in an effort to keep everything

00:56:40.159 --> 00:56:45.320
fresh. We offer you... First world problems.

00:56:47.179 --> 00:56:50.739
Dammit, the city services website is down again.

00:56:52.400 --> 00:56:54.579
I can't believe this. I'm going to have to actually

00:56:54.579 --> 00:56:57.280
call and talk to someone to pay my damn trash

00:56:57.280 --> 00:57:02.440
bill. This is ridiculous. Now, for a limited

00:57:02.440 --> 00:57:07.780
time only, Rob Rad's new video series, How to

00:57:07.780 --> 00:57:11.420
Booty Clap and Quirk. That's right. Rob shows

00:57:11.420 --> 00:57:15.019
you his signature booty clap and how to quirk

00:57:15.019 --> 00:57:19.519
with ease. Order today and get a free pair of

00:57:19.519 --> 00:57:22.679
thongs with Rob's initials on them. That's right.

00:57:22.900 --> 00:57:25.280
Rob's initials on a pair of thongs and learn

00:57:25.280 --> 00:57:39.639
how to booty clap with the best. Rob. Rob. Knob

00:57:39.639 --> 00:57:42.039
Lake is an unincorporated community in southern

00:57:42.039 --> 00:57:44.480
St. Francis County, Missouri, United States.

00:57:44.699 --> 00:57:47.559
It is located on Missouri Route DD, just east

00:57:47.559 --> 00:57:50.639
of U .S. Route 67, approximately 8 miles south

00:57:50.639 --> 00:57:53.039
of Farmington, Missouri. Knob Lick has a post

00:57:53.039 --> 00:57:56.219
office with the zip code 63651, which has been

00:57:56.219 --> 00:57:59.599
in operation since 1870. The community takes

00:57:59.599 --> 00:58:02.139
its name from nearby Knob Lick Mountain. In the

00:58:02.139 --> 00:58:04.199
Ozarks, Knob typically refers to an isolated

00:58:04.199 --> 00:58:07.739
summit, and Wick is a natural salt lick or salt

00:58:07.739 --> 00:58:11.599
spring. The mountain runs across U .S. 67. Approximately

00:58:11.599 --> 00:58:14.199
80 acres of the summit are protected by the Missouri

00:58:14.199 --> 00:58:16.800
Department of Conservation. A gravel road leads

00:58:16.800 --> 00:58:19.000
to the conservation area, which includes a granite

00:58:19.000 --> 00:58:21.750
clade. picnic facilities, and a closed -fire

00:58:21.750 --> 00:58:25.369
lookout tower. 147 was the population reported

00:58:25.369 --> 00:58:34.670
in 2020. And now, Deep Thoughts with Mark. So,

00:58:34.909 --> 00:58:39.889
if I have a glass of ice water, and the ice melts

00:58:39.889 --> 00:58:44.849
into the water, is my water then watered down?

00:58:46.210 --> 00:59:01.909
Hmm. I may never know. The City Division Chapter

00:59:01.909 --> 00:59:11.829
of the Deucebags. Hello? Are y 'all mute, Rob?

00:59:14.849 --> 00:59:19.059
Hmm. We seem to have an issue here. Okay, here

00:59:19.059 --> 00:59:25.880
I am. All right, cool. I have some ass paddlings.

00:59:27.500 --> 00:59:30.360
Oh, hell yeah. Yeah, there's only nine of them.

00:59:30.360 --> 00:59:32.760
We usually do ten, but you know what? I'm in

00:59:32.760 --> 00:59:38.719
an ass paddling mood. What about you? Oh, you

00:59:38.719 --> 00:59:43.150
know I do. Okay. Number one ass paddling we have

00:59:43.150 --> 00:59:45.889
on the agenda for tonight, but let me go into

00:59:45.889 --> 00:59:48.489
the story here real quick. Topher and I were

00:59:48.489 --> 00:59:52.250
on vacation in Florida. We were walking down

00:59:52.250 --> 00:59:57.190
the beach, and the sun was rising. The sun was

00:59:57.190 --> 01:00:01.170
glistening off our hair, and it was blowing softly

01:00:01.170 --> 01:00:05.230
in the wind, blowing our hair back. And despite

01:00:05.230 --> 01:00:08.539
what Rob and the Duke says, his brother. Two

01:00:08.539 --> 01:00:10.380
men can have a tender moment without holding

01:00:10.380 --> 01:00:12.199
hands, but they say we're holding hands, which

01:00:12.199 --> 01:00:15.440
is complete bullshit. We were not. We were just

01:00:15.440 --> 01:00:18.179
having a tender moment until I stubbed my toe

01:00:18.179 --> 01:00:22.360
on this bottle. And I'm like, oh, shit. Oh, damn,

01:00:22.480 --> 01:00:25.579
damn, damn. Topher goes, looks like a genie bottle.

01:00:25.739 --> 01:00:28.719
No such thing. And then I walk over to it. I

01:00:28.719 --> 01:00:30.559
go, hey, that's a genie's bottle. And he's like,

01:00:30.659 --> 01:00:35.239
no shit. So I pop open the cork. Genie pops out.

01:00:36.139 --> 01:00:38.460
And Topher and I are like, we get three wishes.

01:00:38.559 --> 01:00:42.239
He goes, no, no, no. You guys watch too much

01:00:42.239 --> 01:00:47.059
TV. One wish. One wish only. So make it count,

01:00:47.159 --> 01:00:50.659
guys. Make it good. End cancer. End childhood

01:00:50.659 --> 01:00:54.199
hunger. Something. For please, God's sakes. Topher

01:00:54.199 --> 01:00:55.699
and I looked at each other and go, we want to

01:00:55.699 --> 01:00:59.679
ass paddle people naked. So the genie, very reluctantly,

01:00:59.719 --> 01:01:01.739
rolling his eyes, said, very well, I have to

01:01:01.739 --> 01:01:04.800
give you your wish. So, once a month. Topher

01:01:04.800 --> 01:01:10.920
and I, and by special admittance by the genie,

01:01:10.980 --> 01:01:13.900
he gave you special permission for Rob to be

01:01:13.900 --> 01:01:17.659
invisible and do this with us. So it's us three,

01:01:17.739 --> 01:01:22.099
and we all get to paddle these people. So number

01:01:22.099 --> 01:01:26.559
one on my list is Amazon's podcast. They were

01:01:26.559 --> 01:01:29.320
trying to charge me for our own fucking podcast.

01:01:31.599 --> 01:01:36.420
They're trying to charge me for it. I'm like,

01:01:36.519 --> 01:01:38.960
no, I'll go to another service. I'll go to another

01:01:38.960 --> 01:01:42.400
service. But anyhow, it just turns out I was

01:01:42.400 --> 01:01:45.500
logged out. But it still caught me by surprise.

01:01:45.900 --> 01:01:52.360
So I guess you have to be a Prime member to access

01:01:52.360 --> 01:01:56.719
the podcast, which I didn't know before. So you

01:01:56.719 --> 01:01:58.500
got any words on that, Rob? You think they deserve

01:01:58.500 --> 01:02:07.130
it? nothing about it. Okay. Well, that's the

01:02:07.130 --> 01:02:09.969
way I feel. Trying to charge us for our own podcast?

01:02:10.190 --> 01:02:15.849
Nope. Number two. Odyssey Radio for Boot and

01:02:15.849 --> 01:02:21.369
Johnny Dare. Would you agree with that? Highly.

01:02:21.849 --> 01:02:24.469
Even though we're on their podcast and we never

01:02:24.469 --> 01:02:27.010
turned them in and thank you. Odyssey, thank

01:02:27.010 --> 01:02:33.219
you very much. That just might keep you out of

01:02:33.219 --> 01:02:35.539
the Hall of Fame. Yes, it does. It keeps him

01:02:35.539 --> 01:02:37.579
out of the Hall of Fame. By having us on the

01:02:37.579 --> 01:02:40.119
podcast. Yes. And I talked to a guy at work that

01:02:40.119 --> 01:02:42.739
does a podcast, too. Well, you know, it's one

01:02:42.739 --> 01:02:44.880
of your favorite ones, the Conspiracy Theory.

01:02:45.099 --> 01:02:51.400
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, I asked him about it. He

01:02:51.400 --> 01:02:53.420
had no idea. He's like, I'm not sure how that

01:02:53.420 --> 01:02:55.619
happened, either. But whoever did it, thank you.

01:02:56.099 --> 01:02:59.929
Put us on some other ones, too, please. Again,

01:03:00.030 --> 01:03:04.409
Odyssey gets it again for keeping Laszlo. But

01:03:04.409 --> 01:03:06.610
then again, they are out of the Hall of Fame

01:03:06.610 --> 01:03:11.809
because they have us on their podcast list. I

01:03:11.809 --> 01:03:17.690
don't listen, so... Okay. Clint in Clarksville

01:03:17.690 --> 01:03:21.510
gets straight to the Hall of Fame in a big and

01:03:21.510 --> 01:03:28.119
ball bite to boot. Is that a win agreement? There

01:03:28.119 --> 01:03:30.420
you go, Clint. You're famous. You're famous.

01:03:32.320 --> 01:03:36.380
I'll hold him. And also... You get to have all

01:03:36.380 --> 01:03:39.559
the fun. I'll hold him. Okay, cool. And Mitch

01:03:39.559 --> 01:03:41.699
is also going to hide all the Narcan, so you

01:03:41.699 --> 01:03:44.300
may not even be alive. Yeah, I mean, we may be

01:03:44.300 --> 01:03:49.340
trying to paddle your corpse at this point. I'm

01:03:49.340 --> 01:03:53.440
really liking Mitch at this point. Mitch is awesome.

01:03:55.199 --> 01:03:59.050
We got a sidekick. Yeah, I know. He's always

01:03:59.050 --> 01:04:02.369
got something to say. Putting his little jab

01:04:02.369 --> 01:04:05.969
in here and there. He's awesome. Next one. Gene

01:04:05.969 --> 01:04:07.750
Simmons for all the things I've been mentioning

01:04:07.750 --> 01:04:11.570
over the last month. Hey, man. Maybe we'll paddle

01:04:11.570 --> 01:04:14.329
some of that gut off of him. I'm getting tired

01:04:14.329 --> 01:04:16.550
of hearing you talk about it. You know what?

01:04:17.230 --> 01:04:19.969
That's all I'm going to do. The $12 ,000 to haul

01:04:19.969 --> 01:04:23.889
his stuff around. Don't get me wrong. I loved

01:04:23.889 --> 01:04:29.440
kids back in the day. I'm a huge Kiss fan, but

01:04:29.440 --> 01:04:36.280
it's the old Kiss. Yeah. Charging someone to

01:04:36.280 --> 01:04:39.539
haul around your equipment. Charging someone

01:04:39.539 --> 01:04:42.300
to haul around your equipment all day. Well,

01:04:42.300 --> 01:04:44.380
since he canceled his tour, is this still going

01:04:44.380 --> 01:04:52.940
to happen? Evidently not. I guess not. Next one,

01:04:53.099 --> 01:04:56.690
Poison Ivy. Poison Ivy gets an ass paddling.

01:04:59.190 --> 01:05:01.889
And as soon as I got those bumps on me, I knew

01:05:01.889 --> 01:05:03.670
it was getting ass paddling. I'm like, all right,

01:05:03.690 --> 01:05:07.389
you bastard. You're going ass paddling. And it

01:05:07.389 --> 01:05:09.190
might be on the Hall of Fame. If I get it one

01:05:09.190 --> 01:05:11.730
more time or if you get it, it's going to the

01:05:11.730 --> 01:05:13.630
Hall of Fame. So, Poison Ivy, you've been warned.

01:05:14.889 --> 01:05:19.829
Amen. Amen. Yep. The next one is a little political,

01:05:19.829 --> 01:05:21.929
but I don't give a shit how you feel about the

01:05:21.929 --> 01:05:25.780
subject. But here's what I'm saying. The idiots

01:05:25.780 --> 01:05:28.659
that are damaging Teslas, you're not hurting

01:05:28.659 --> 01:05:31.079
Elon. You're actually helping him. Now they have

01:05:31.079 --> 01:05:34.119
to buy another car. You guys are fucking dumbasses.

01:05:35.179 --> 01:05:38.980
You really want to hurt Elon? Don't touch his

01:05:38.980 --> 01:05:41.300
cars. That way people don't have to buy another

01:05:41.300 --> 01:05:48.960
one. Ridiculous. All right. And... The next one

01:05:48.960 --> 01:05:50.880
is the so -called activist that caught himself

01:05:50.880 --> 01:05:53.239
on fire trying to blow up a Tesla. Have you seen

01:05:53.239 --> 01:06:00.920
that? Yes. Yeah. Good job, idiot. Good job. There

01:06:00.920 --> 01:06:08.119
was another gal that, it was in Colorado, and

01:06:08.119 --> 01:06:15.440
she went, dropped off some stuff to do the job.

01:06:26.400 --> 01:06:43.519
Oh, cool. Oh, my God. Jeez. I know, Rob. That's

01:06:43.519 --> 01:06:45.639
what I'm doing, too. It's like, you guys want

01:06:45.639 --> 01:06:48.340
to hurt this guy? and you're making people buy

01:06:48.340 --> 01:06:55.760
another one of his cars, that's insane. So, okay,

01:06:56.139 --> 01:06:59.679
and the last ass paddling that I have is actually

01:06:59.679 --> 01:07:02.699
Tesla. So, see, I'm being fair and balanced here.

01:07:03.440 --> 01:07:09.380
Tesla of state line, approximately 103rd and

01:07:09.380 --> 01:07:14.619
state line in Kansas City, got vandalized. And

01:07:14.619 --> 01:07:16.260
they're getting an ass paddling because they

01:07:16.260 --> 01:07:21.320
didn't have cameras. Are you serious? I'm serious.

01:07:22.340 --> 01:07:26.559
If what I read says... Tesla and state line in

01:07:26.559 --> 01:07:30.460
Kansas City did not have cameras. According to

01:07:30.460 --> 01:07:32.500
the article I read, they do not, and they don't

01:07:32.500 --> 01:07:35.820
have any subject that they did it because of

01:07:35.820 --> 01:07:40.420
that. That's what busted everybody else. I know.

01:07:40.969 --> 01:07:43.570
Whoever did it's not getting busted so far unless

01:07:43.570 --> 01:07:46.909
someone saw them. You know, so, yeah. I was like,

01:07:47.010 --> 01:07:51.650
what? No cameras? Unless they said that because

01:07:51.650 --> 01:07:54.030
the investigation's going on, but I don't think,

01:07:54.110 --> 01:07:56.610
I don't know why you would say that. Supposedly,

01:07:56.610 --> 01:07:59.849
there's no cameras. Okay, okay. I understand

01:07:59.849 --> 01:08:03.050
that. Uh -huh. If there is an investigation,

01:08:03.809 --> 01:08:08.690
they don't want to give out their evidence. Okay,

01:08:08.750 --> 01:08:13.179
here's my deal with Tesla. At 130. If that is

01:08:13.179 --> 01:08:18.739
found out, I'm redacting it. I'm retaking it.

01:08:18.819 --> 01:08:22.300
I'll take it back and I will apologize profusely.

01:08:24.819 --> 01:08:30.359
We will rub the paint out. Yes, we'll rub the

01:08:30.359 --> 01:08:32.119
paint out where we gave you an ass paddling.

01:08:33.760 --> 01:08:38.239
How about a Whitman sampler? Sound in order?

01:08:40.920 --> 01:08:44.000
Yeah. Okay. And this is if you guys have cameras.

01:08:44.159 --> 01:08:47.380
Oh, no, no. Hey, hey. How about a steak burger

01:08:47.380 --> 01:08:50.039
at Jess and Jeff's? There we go. All right. That

01:08:50.039 --> 01:08:54.479
is really saying you're sorry. That is really

01:08:54.479 --> 01:08:58.659
saying you're sorry. So. Bacon, bacon, bacon

01:08:58.659 --> 01:09:03.800
steak burger. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Oh, man. You just

01:09:03.800 --> 01:09:07.500
said it all. A bacon steak burger. So there you

01:09:07.500 --> 01:09:16.640
go. All right. You got something, Rob? Yeah.

01:09:17.539 --> 01:09:26.380
Be my guest. Okay. A man is being accused of

01:09:26.380 --> 01:09:29.819
putting super glue in his co -worker's soda while

01:09:29.819 --> 01:09:38.079
working at a Wisconsin State Fair park. Go on.

01:09:39.659 --> 01:09:42.060
Sounds like some shit we do to each other. You

01:09:42.060 --> 01:09:47.739
made me smile. According to a criminal complaint

01:09:47.739 --> 01:09:51.420
obtained by people from the Milwaukee County

01:09:51.420 --> 01:09:54.899
District Attorney's Office on Friday, March 28,

01:09:55.420 --> 01:10:00.380
Joseph Ross placed a substance in liquid edibles

01:10:00.380 --> 01:10:05.260
with the intent to cause bodily harm to another

01:10:05.260 --> 01:10:10.960
person on March 20. After the complaint, the

01:10:10.960 --> 01:10:15.539
victim, whose name is listed as J .H., reported

01:10:15.539 --> 01:10:19.720
the incident to police during a foot patrol at

01:10:19.720 --> 01:10:25.060
Wisconsin State Fairfax Expedition Center on

01:10:25.060 --> 01:10:29.359
that same day. During the conversation, J .H.

01:10:29.460 --> 01:10:33.579
told the officers that approximately two to three

01:10:33.579 --> 01:10:40.199
weeks ago, J .H. suspected that her Her desk

01:10:40.199 --> 01:10:43.000
had been contaminated by a chemical substance.

01:10:44.539 --> 01:10:48.279
She realized there had been contamination due

01:10:48.279 --> 01:10:52.479
to the strong chemical smell and taste. J .H.

01:10:52.500 --> 01:10:55.300
stated that upon consumption of those beverages,

01:10:55.560 --> 01:10:59.899
she became ill, according to the complaint, which

01:10:59.899 --> 01:11:05.039
claimed that the victim did not consent to anyone

01:11:05.039 --> 01:11:35.270
putting anything into her drink. Wow. And it

01:11:35.270 --> 01:11:37.909
is super glue in there. And she was drinking?

01:11:42.189 --> 01:11:45.930
Oh, that's some of the worst stuff around. That

01:11:45.930 --> 01:11:52.090
gorilla glue. And it didn't kill her? No, it

01:11:52.090 --> 01:11:56.430
just made her ill, but she got better. Wow. But

01:11:56.430 --> 01:11:59.289
there were reports from other people saying the

01:11:59.289 --> 01:12:01.529
same thing. Kind of like the dude that pissed

01:12:01.529 --> 01:12:04.329
in the bottle. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it

01:12:04.329 --> 01:12:12.109
was, uh, yeah. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Rob. I'm

01:12:12.109 --> 01:12:13.949
supposed to tell the pissing in the soda can

01:12:13.949 --> 01:12:17.850
story. Actually, I have that right here in front

01:12:17.850 --> 01:12:20.510
of me. Okay. I was going to remind you here in

01:12:20.510 --> 01:12:22.510
just a few minutes. Oh, go ahead with what you

01:12:22.510 --> 01:12:24.270
had to do there. It just reminded me when you

01:12:24.270 --> 01:12:26.630
said it was like the pissing in the soda, or

01:12:26.630 --> 01:12:32.449
pissing in the bottle. Oh, no, that's what I

01:12:32.449 --> 01:12:42.649
was going to say. Oh, okay. bottles. Oh, no,

01:12:42.710 --> 01:12:45.289
no. I knew that. Yeah, I knew that. I was just

01:12:45.289 --> 01:12:50.409
saying. Don't hear pissing in a can story. Okay.

01:12:50.869 --> 01:12:54.229
Alright. Someone wanted to hear it and I forgot

01:12:54.229 --> 01:12:58.149
who it was. I apologize. It was an email. Like

01:12:58.149 --> 01:13:00.670
I said, I haven't looked at it. And the last

01:13:00.670 --> 01:13:03.310
one we were running over so bad that it's like

01:13:03.310 --> 01:13:06.289
we really can't do it this one. So, I promised

01:13:06.289 --> 01:13:08.569
it. We're making a little bit better time tonight.

01:13:08.710 --> 01:13:12.880
So, here we go. A long time ago, my best friend

01:13:12.880 --> 01:13:16.640
Davey, his house used to be the party house during

01:13:16.640 --> 01:13:19.739
the summer. His parents would go to Truman Reservoir

01:13:19.739 --> 01:13:23.000
and stay there all summer long, which meant that

01:13:23.000 --> 01:13:26.100
Davey's house was open. We had some pretty good

01:13:26.100 --> 01:13:28.920
parties there. We had some pretty good parties

01:13:28.920 --> 01:13:32.619
there, didn't we? Yes, we did. Cracking people

01:13:32.619 --> 01:13:34.779
with jack bottles in the balls while they're

01:13:34.779 --> 01:13:36.899
sleeping and all kinds of stuff. Oh my gosh.

01:13:37.319 --> 01:13:40.960
We would shave off their eyebrows and give them

01:13:40.960 --> 01:13:45.260
mascara and send them on to work 10 minutes before

01:13:45.260 --> 01:13:48.100
they're supposed to be there so they go in there

01:13:48.100 --> 01:13:50.720
and not know. All different kinds of stuff. But

01:13:50.720 --> 01:13:53.039
one of the evilest, cruelest things we did was

01:13:53.039 --> 01:13:56.619
this right here. Rob knew this. I knew it. Everybody

01:13:56.619 --> 01:13:58.939
that hung around Davey for any extended period

01:13:58.939 --> 01:14:01.800
of time knew this. There's two refrigerators

01:14:01.800 --> 01:14:04.659
in Davey's house. There's one in the kitchen

01:14:04.659 --> 01:14:09.619
and one in the back room. Oh, that story. Okay.

01:14:10.779 --> 01:14:14.399
What were you thinking? I didn't know. I thought

01:14:14.399 --> 01:14:19.340
it was a different story, but no. Okay, yeah,

01:14:19.359 --> 01:14:21.640
I know this one. I think. Do you think she meant

01:14:21.640 --> 01:14:25.340
something else or he? No, this has got to be

01:14:25.340 --> 01:14:28.899
it. Okay. That's the only story I remember about

01:14:28.899 --> 01:14:32.779
fishing in a can. Okay, yeah. Okay, I think this

01:14:32.779 --> 01:14:36.569
is what they meant. Was she around the side of

01:14:36.569 --> 01:14:41.770
the 7 -Eleven or something? No, as far as I know,

01:14:41.789 --> 01:14:43.550
this is the one she wanted. I think it was a

01:14:43.550 --> 01:14:46.609
she, but I'm not for sure. So, if you're not

01:14:46.609 --> 01:14:51.810
a she, I apologize. I have my memory. So, the

01:14:51.810 --> 01:14:55.609
back fridge was full of the good soda pops, and

01:14:55.609 --> 01:14:58.430
the front in the kitchen, the fridge in the kitchen,

01:14:58.510 --> 01:15:01.390
was full of soda pops that had piss in them.

01:15:01.760 --> 01:15:04.079
What we'd do is we'd slam like Welch's grapes,

01:15:04.380 --> 01:15:08.239
we'd slam like a Coke, we'd slam, I don't know,

01:15:08.319 --> 01:15:10.539
an orange or something, and we'd piss in the

01:15:10.539 --> 01:15:13.399
bottles, or not in the bottles, but in the cans,

01:15:13.500 --> 01:15:16.539
and we'd put them back in the fridge. So whenever

01:15:16.539 --> 01:15:20.039
any one of us that knew about it, we would go

01:15:20.039 --> 01:15:24.039
get a good soda from back, and so people wake

01:15:24.039 --> 01:15:26.699
up hungover, and they're looking for any type

01:15:26.699 --> 01:15:28.560
of caffeine or anything they can drink to make

01:15:28.560 --> 01:15:30.460
them feel better, some sugar in their body, whatever.

01:15:31.000 --> 01:15:33.140
The first thing they'd do is they'd start rummaging

01:15:33.140 --> 01:15:36.060
through the refrigerator, and they'd grab one

01:15:36.060 --> 01:15:38.640
of these cans, and they would slam it, and we

01:15:38.640 --> 01:15:41.039
would hear, because I used to sleep in the garage.

01:15:41.560 --> 01:15:45.359
Davey used to sleep in the hallway closet up

01:15:45.359 --> 01:15:49.199
on the very top. He had a little shelf there

01:15:49.199 --> 01:15:51.579
that he slept in, so no one could catch him,

01:15:51.619 --> 01:15:54.100
and no one could catch us. As soon as I heard

01:15:54.100 --> 01:15:56.479
the screams, that was my cue to get the fuck

01:15:56.479 --> 01:16:01.399
out of there. I'd run up to my house. Me, I just

01:16:01.399 --> 01:16:05.720
pulled up a piece of floor. And whenever you

01:16:05.720 --> 01:16:07.380
heard that, you knew nothing about it. What?

01:16:07.619 --> 01:16:09.600
What do you mean someone pissed in a can? Oh,

01:16:09.619 --> 01:16:15.479
bullshit. So we got many a people with that trick

01:16:15.479 --> 01:16:17.579
because they would wake up and their head would

01:16:17.579 --> 01:16:19.399
hurt, their head would be pounding, they drank

01:16:19.399 --> 01:16:22.039
everything the night before, and they'd run to

01:16:22.039 --> 01:16:24.220
the kitchen fridge, not knowing there was a back

01:16:24.220 --> 01:16:27.479
fridge full of good sodas. They would go to the

01:16:27.479 --> 01:16:30.720
kitchen fridge, and they would grab one of those

01:16:30.720 --> 01:16:33.220
sodas there and slam it, and every time they'd

01:16:33.220 --> 01:16:37.319
scream because it was piss. So, whoever you were,

01:16:37.439 --> 01:16:40.119
there's that story again. Thank you for asking.

01:16:40.239 --> 01:16:43.920
I'd forgotten about it for a while. Hey, Mark,

01:16:44.100 --> 01:16:48.180
can we take a quick break? Yeah, sure. All right,

01:16:48.180 --> 01:16:53.520
let's take a quick break. Okay, no problem. Hi,

01:16:53.520 --> 01:16:58.489
y 'all. This is Chicago. I am the most dangerous

01:16:58.489 --> 01:17:05.729
city in North America. You can't touch me. Oh,

01:17:05.750 --> 01:17:07.869
yeah? This is Kansas City here. Hold my beer,

01:17:07.890 --> 01:17:12.590
bitch. You watch the news. It looks grim. Is

01:17:12.590 --> 01:17:15.970
an apocalypse inevitable? We suggest you download

01:17:15.970 --> 01:17:19.170
all our podcasts beforehand and have multiple

01:17:19.170 --> 01:17:23.289
mobile chargers. We have the post -apocalypse.

01:17:25.839 --> 01:17:29.119
Learn your soils. You will need drinking and

01:17:29.119 --> 01:17:32.239
bath water. You must build a reservoir. The key

01:17:32.239 --> 01:17:34.560
to hold water in the ground are the clays you

01:17:34.560 --> 01:17:37.680
have at its base. Research water purification

01:17:37.680 --> 01:17:40.840
methods, and wild game will attract to the water

01:17:40.840 --> 01:17:47.579
as well. Strange, but true. A 9 ,000 -year -old

01:17:47.579 --> 01:17:49.920
skeleton was found in a cave in Cheddar, England.

01:17:50.430 --> 01:17:53.510
and was nicknamed Cheddar Man. His DNA was tested

01:17:53.510 --> 01:17:55.729
and it was concluded that a living relative was

01:17:55.729 --> 01:17:58.470
teaching history one half mile away, linking

01:17:58.470 --> 01:18:19.210
back 300 generations. All right, Rob, you got

01:18:19.210 --> 01:18:25.590
something you want to go into? Yes, I do want

01:18:25.590 --> 01:18:35.529
to go there. Oh. Do you know how old the oldest

01:18:35.529 --> 01:18:43.390
dog in history was? 23? No. I don't know then.

01:18:43.789 --> 01:18:47.090
Okay, okay. Dogs have been our beloved today.

01:18:48.779 --> 01:18:52.800
And we all wish they could live forever. While

01:18:52.800 --> 01:18:57.520
most dogs live between 10 to 13 years, some have

01:18:57.520 --> 01:19:00.739
pushed the boundary even further, shattering

01:19:00.739 --> 01:19:05.100
records for the oldest dog alive. This record

01:19:05.100 --> 01:19:10.399
is currently held by Bluey. Not to be confused

01:19:10.399 --> 01:19:14.859
with the popular Australian Kids Show and Australian

01:19:14.859 --> 01:19:24.520
Cattle Dog. Okay. Gal dogs are smaller with a

01:19:24.520 --> 01:19:31.159
lifespan of about 12 to 16 years. Louie shattered

01:19:31.159 --> 01:19:37.260
these records by living an astonishing 29 years

01:19:37.260 --> 01:19:44.760
and 5 months. Wow, almost 30 years. Yes. Born

01:19:44.760 --> 01:19:58.970
in 1910. An active lifestyle, nutrition, diet,

01:19:59.090 --> 01:20:03.449
and genetic factors may have contributed to his

01:20:03.449 --> 01:20:07.470
extraordinary longevity. For nearly a century,

01:20:07.789 --> 01:20:13.850
Bowie held the Guinness World Record as the oldest

01:20:13.850 --> 01:20:22.109
verified dog in history. However, in 2023, another

01:20:22.109 --> 01:20:33.430
dog Portuguese. Water dog. Oh, my God, no. Referio

01:20:33.430 --> 01:20:38.409
dough. Babble snatch. Babble snatch. Yeah, babble

01:20:38.409 --> 01:20:41.170
snatch. A Portuguese babble snatch. Portuguese

01:20:41.170 --> 01:20:46.010
babble snatch. There we go. There we go. Briefly,

01:20:46.010 --> 01:20:50.869
as experts question the validity of Bobby's reported

01:20:50.869 --> 01:21:06.489
age, Guinness eventually revoked Bobby. Longest

01:21:06.489 --> 01:21:09.770
living dog. Longest living dog. Wow, 30 years.

01:21:11.350 --> 01:21:16.670
And just so you know, tomorrow night, I'll have

01:21:16.670 --> 01:21:19.850
the longest living cat. How's that? That sounds

01:21:19.850 --> 01:21:23.470
great. I'm all about that. That sounds good.

01:21:23.489 --> 01:21:27.710
I like pets living longer. Yes. I like that a

01:21:27.710 --> 01:21:39.760
lot. You want to keep going? Or maybe a little

01:21:39.760 --> 01:21:45.460
bit longer. Okay. Let me see which one would

01:21:45.460 --> 01:21:52.600
be the best here to go into. Okay. The ten things

01:21:52.600 --> 01:21:57.779
that millionaires say all those commoners waste

01:21:57.779 --> 01:22:02.699
money on. Okay. I don't agree with some of these

01:22:02.699 --> 01:22:06.319
and I'll explain why. Number one. bulk grocery

01:22:06.319 --> 01:22:09.640
shopping that ends up in the trash buying in

01:22:09.640 --> 01:22:12.680
bulk can save you money but if if you actually

01:22:12.680 --> 01:22:15.479
eat everything you buy but let's be real how

01:22:15.479 --> 01:22:17.579
many times have you bought a mega pack of spinach

01:22:17.579 --> 01:22:20.560
only to throw half of it away a week later you're

01:22:20.560 --> 01:22:23.300
not getting a deal if you toss half of it what

01:22:23.300 --> 01:22:25.159
you paid for down the garbage okay here's the

01:22:25.159 --> 01:22:28.779
key to that if you're a family of three and right

01:22:28.779 --> 01:22:32.020
next to you is a family of four You both go in

01:22:32.020 --> 01:22:34.859
and you buy a Costco card or a Sam's card, and

01:22:34.859 --> 01:22:37.560
you both go in on the mega packs and you split

01:22:37.560 --> 01:22:40.939
them up. That's how you do it. You don't waste

01:22:40.939 --> 01:22:42.699
the stuff like that. You're splitting them up.

01:22:42.800 --> 01:22:45.720
They have four people. You have three. You see?

01:22:46.199 --> 01:22:48.479
So you divide them up equally, half and half.

01:22:48.739 --> 01:22:50.920
They get theirs. You get yours. And you split

01:22:50.920 --> 01:22:54.180
the membership up, too, between two. So not only

01:22:54.180 --> 01:22:56.119
do you get a membership half the price, but you

01:22:56.119 --> 01:22:59.279
get half the stuff in a bulk pack. which is more

01:22:59.279 --> 01:23:01.920
manageable for you to handle. They don't say

01:23:01.920 --> 01:23:05.420
that there, but that is how you do it. Okay,

01:23:05.539 --> 01:23:08.380
number two, decorative household items for every

01:23:08.380 --> 01:23:11.960
season. I understand the impulse to go to TJ

01:23:11.960 --> 01:23:14.140
Maxx and buy a different wreath and a set of

01:23:14.140 --> 01:23:16.180
decorative pillows every holiday. Actually, I

01:23:16.180 --> 01:23:18.539
don't. This is what the article said, but I don't

01:23:18.539 --> 01:23:21.470
give a shit about any of that. But instead of

01:23:21.470 --> 01:23:23.850
spending on the decorations that will be outdated

01:23:23.850 --> 01:23:26.350
soon, try to invest in timeless, high -quality

01:23:26.350 --> 01:23:29.029
home essentials and switch things up with small,

01:23:29.109 --> 01:23:33.090
inexpensive accents like candles or flowers.

01:23:33.550 --> 01:23:38.250
So, number three, children's toys. I think that's

01:23:38.250 --> 01:23:43.119
safe to say, don't you? Yeah, definitely. Most

01:23:43.119 --> 01:23:45.920
kids play with a box more than the toy itself.

01:23:46.079 --> 01:23:48.319
I agree with that 100%. I used to play with a

01:23:48.319 --> 01:23:51.640
fork more than I did the play gun. I've seen

01:23:51.640 --> 01:23:53.579
parents spend hundreds, sometimes thousands,

01:23:53.659 --> 01:23:56.760
for toys for their kids that they lose interest

01:23:56.760 --> 01:24:00.579
in within weeks. But then again, you get peer

01:24:00.579 --> 01:24:03.079
pressure from the child, too. Everybody else

01:24:03.079 --> 01:24:07.460
has one. They have to have one, right, Rob? Yep.

01:24:07.579 --> 01:24:10.329
Yeah. And you're a bad parent if you don't. But

01:24:10.329 --> 01:24:11.789
I mean, you know, a lot of people don't subscribe

01:24:11.789 --> 01:24:16.289
to that, but it is real. So, number four, shoes

01:24:16.289 --> 01:24:20.710
that are bad for your feet. People buy for the

01:24:20.710 --> 01:24:24.510
looks, but not for the comfort and your feet

01:24:24.510 --> 01:24:26.850
health, your overall feet health. Most of the

01:24:26.850 --> 01:24:29.289
really good looking shoes. Yeah, most of the

01:24:29.289 --> 01:24:31.050
really good looking shoes are very uncomfortable

01:24:31.050 --> 01:24:34.850
and they hurt your feet. It's true. I mean, if

01:24:34.850 --> 01:24:39.180
I, if I wear Nikes. They have to be the ugly

01:24:39.180 --> 01:24:42.899
ones to be comfortable because the sporty ones,

01:24:43.060 --> 01:24:45.539
they don't care about comfort. They know people

01:24:45.539 --> 01:24:47.960
buy them just to, you know. Someone goes up,

01:24:47.979 --> 01:24:50.819
hey, is that the newest Nike or Adidas or whatever?

01:24:51.680 --> 01:24:54.060
It's a status thing more than anything else.

01:24:54.460 --> 01:24:57.619
So you're hurting your feet and you're spending

01:24:57.619 --> 01:24:59.819
a lot of money on the status that probably nobody

01:24:59.819 --> 01:25:01.720
really gives a shit about. What would you think,

01:25:01.739 --> 01:25:08.000
Rob? Yeah, I agree 100%. All right, cool. Number

01:25:08.000 --> 01:25:11.859
five, high -end skincare products. The beauty

01:25:11.859 --> 01:25:14.300
industry convinces people they need a 12 -step

01:25:14.300 --> 01:25:19.079
routine with $80 serums. When most of it is marketing

01:25:19.079 --> 01:25:23.640
hype, I would agree with that. Stick to simple

01:25:23.640 --> 01:25:26.300
dermatologist -approved products that actually

01:25:26.300 --> 01:25:29.439
work. Your skin and your wallet will thank you.

01:25:30.340 --> 01:25:34.880
And then, finally, number six, overpriced athleisure.

01:25:35.600 --> 01:25:39.060
My $15 warehouse leggings and free t -shirts

01:25:39.060 --> 01:25:42.859
are just as good as the $100 linoleum. No, lululemon

01:25:42.859 --> 01:25:47.739
ones. People love to justify expensive activewear.

01:25:47.960 --> 01:25:51.439
It does look like linoleum at first. Lululemon.

01:25:52.699 --> 01:25:56.279
So the $100 lululemon ones. People have to justify

01:25:56.279 --> 01:25:59.460
expensive activewear by saying it motivates them

01:25:59.460 --> 01:26:02.979
to work out. But wearing a fancy outfit doesn't.

01:26:03.020 --> 01:26:05.420
doesn't do the push -ups for you which we all

01:26:05.420 --> 01:26:08.399
know ironically i found i have better workouts

01:26:08.399 --> 01:26:10.819
when i wear less expensive clothing because they

01:26:10.819 --> 01:26:13.399
tend to breathe better since they're often looser

01:26:13.399 --> 01:26:16.100
and made of natural fiber than shiny material

01:26:16.100 --> 01:26:19.880
buy workout gear for the function not fashion

01:26:19.880 --> 01:26:22.600
focus on quality and comfort over brad names

01:26:22.600 --> 01:26:27.020
and this is what the ultra wealthy say that the

01:26:27.020 --> 01:26:29.720
people that aren't wealthy and one of the reasons

01:26:29.720 --> 01:26:33.970
why they're not wealthy So, you know, I think

01:26:33.970 --> 01:26:35.729
I'd have to agree with them on most of it. But

01:26:35.729 --> 01:26:38.470
the bulk shopping, no, no, I told you how to

01:26:38.470 --> 01:26:41.869
do it. That's a formula. You go with your friends

01:26:41.869 --> 01:26:44.090
or whatever and you split the packs. If you only

01:26:44.090 --> 01:26:46.770
have three people in your family or two, you

01:26:46.770 --> 01:26:48.850
find another family that has a lot of people

01:26:48.850 --> 01:26:51.409
in there and you split the packs up. That way

01:26:51.409 --> 01:26:53.930
you don't waste everything. You get to that spinach.

01:26:54.090 --> 01:26:56.069
You get to that chicken. You get to all that

01:26:56.069 --> 01:26:59.750
stuff. That's the way it's done. So, Rob, you

01:26:59.750 --> 01:27:03.689
got anything? Yeah, I do. You know how I've been

01:27:03.689 --> 01:27:07.430
following the story about Selena Perez's killer?

01:27:07.989 --> 01:27:13.069
Yeah, yes. The Mexican singer Selena, they made

01:27:13.069 --> 01:27:16.829
the movie out of and all that. This is quite

01:27:16.829 --> 01:27:22.949
a few years ago. Yeah, back in, actually March

01:27:22.949 --> 01:27:30.140
31st, 1995. Okay. I have an update. Okay. I was

01:27:30.140 --> 01:27:32.899
talking about how she was trying to get parole.

01:27:33.399 --> 01:27:38.460
Yes. I have an update. All right, good. She wanted

01:27:38.460 --> 01:27:43.460
parole because she feared for her life. She didn't

01:27:43.460 --> 01:27:45.760
think about the people on the outside that would

01:27:45.760 --> 01:27:50.000
want to kill her. Yeah, you and I were right

01:27:50.000 --> 01:27:55.500
on on that. People would... I agree. Well, the

01:27:55.500 --> 01:28:00.520
woman who barely shot singer Selena Rez was denied

01:28:00.520 --> 01:28:06.279
parole days before the 30th anniversary of the

01:28:06.279 --> 01:28:12.579
Tejino Music Superstar's death. They denied her

01:28:12.579 --> 01:28:21.020
parole. Wow. Good. Good. Yolanda Salvador. Now

01:28:21.020 --> 01:28:25.159
64, has spent three decades in prison after her

01:28:25.159 --> 01:28:29.239
conviction for first -degree murder. Salvador

01:28:29.239 --> 01:28:32.739
shot the singer in the back at a Days Inn hotel

01:28:32.739 --> 01:28:37.319
in Corpus Christi, Texas, on March 31, 1995,

01:28:37.800 --> 01:28:41.880
after Perez accused her of embezzling money.

01:28:42.840 --> 01:28:47.680
Yeah. Yep. I'm sure everybody pretty much knows

01:28:47.680 --> 01:28:50.699
the story. Yeah, I mean, it's a very famous case.

01:28:50.920 --> 01:28:55.180
If not, look it up. Yeah, look it up. Google

01:28:55.180 --> 01:28:59.020
it. All right. All right. Thank you, Rob. Thanks

01:28:59.020 --> 01:29:02.539
for that update. Want to add anything else, or

01:29:02.539 --> 01:29:05.180
you want to just go ahead and call it good? That's

01:29:05.180 --> 01:29:08.859
all. That's all I got for tonight, buddy. All

01:29:08.859 --> 01:29:11.399
right, well, we will be back at it tomorrow night,

01:29:11.520 --> 01:29:15.079
and we're planning another podcast. So, anyhow,

01:29:15.300 --> 01:29:17.340
thank you all for listening. Have a good night,

01:29:17.380 --> 01:29:22.439
assholes. Good night, assholes. Okay, my computer

01:29:22.439 --> 01:29:26.020
went off. Oh, no. Looks like the show's over,

01:29:26.140 --> 01:29:29.479
kids. Mark has explosive diarrhea and can't afford

01:29:29.479 --> 01:29:32.880
a wireless mic. Fear not, assholes. They'll be

01:29:32.880 --> 01:29:34.619
back invading your ear holes soon.