Hey, you pilgrims. This is Mark from Two Douchebags
and Microphone. And this is the Two Douchebags
and Microphone thought of the day. Hey, good
kid. No one gives an ounce of shit what you had
for breakfast. Not even the person on the other
end. You look like a mentally slow driv yelling
into thin air all through the store. I pray that
Bluetooth shorts you out and blows up your eardrums.
What men consider self -centered dunce. Mommy
constantly coddled this dummy and it fucking
shows. Go look back home and bore your dog. Wait,
you probably forgot the theme because you're
too busy looking in the mirror all day. Fuck
off. The Music Creeps, the only show anywhere
with gusto. You might ask yourself what gusto
is. Gusto was the magical secret ingredient in
Schlitz beer that made it so damn good. And that's
what makes this podcast so damn good. Hi there.
This is your ears. Why are you listening to this
garbage? I thought we were friends. The Music
Creeps, the only show anywhere with gusto. You
might ask yourself what gusto is. Gusto was the
magical secret ingredient in Schlitz beer that
made it so damn good. And that's what makes this
podcast. So damn good. I can't do the scratching.
Sorry. Okay. You know what? That's enough. People
got the point. Yes. You guys are in luck. That's
it. Yes. All right. The first thing I want to
start off with is what I talked to you about.
Okay, we were both like, how in the hell are
they going to do a final show with Ozzy when
he's in a wheelchair? Yeah. You know, the Parkinson's
got him so bad to where he can't walk. Yeah,
dude's deteriorating. Ever since the announcement
of the concert, his capabilities are getting
less and less. I think they were always there
because I saw videos and I said something about
it going, it does not look good. Yeah. okay where
he could barely walk on a cane going to get his
mail yeah there are several videos that people
leaked out online and i knew that there was more
going on than what they were saying it's been
this bad all a lot for quite a while now they
just announced it because they have to you know
he comes out there in a wheelchair people go
what the hell happened yeah you know so yeah
it does make it sound like they were planning
to fool us all along then they realized yeah
this ain't gonna work listen that camp there
has been known for trickery like that for a long
time allegedly yeah so okay um they figured out
a way around it ozzy's gonna be in a flying throne
on his last concert and that is so perfect that
fits in really well with his image too it does
because his very first blizzard of oz tour solo
he came out on the throne Of course, he had vampire
teeth and stuff like that, but still. Who knows?
He might wear them this time. Might as well.
Like you said, it's so fitting, and it's something
that you would expect from him because he's always
been over the top. He's always been outrageous,
and I should think his final concert should be
the same, and I also think that he can perform
more like that. They say his voice is fine. That's
good. That's good. I mean, you might even see
another record from him. I know he's put out
songs with Billy Morrison. And I think he put
out like two or three songs since his last album
a couple of years ago, which is Patient No. 9,
which was a really good album. Yeah. He got to
work with his idols like Jeff Beck. And before
that, he got to work with Elton John on Ordinary
Man. And that was one of his idols. And then
he got to work with Eric Clapton on one of the
songs. So Jeff Beck was, I think, two songs,
and one song was Eric Clapton. The title track
was Jeff Beck and Him, Patient No. 9. Interesting
guitar sounds. You could see a lot of where Steve...
Steve, I got his influence from him. And you
could tell, because they do the emotions so well.
You know, the guitar speaks for him. Yeah. And
that's why Jeff Beck was so good. Jeff Beck wasn't
a virtuoso, you know, but he could. Yeah. But
he wasn't. You know, he did what he needed to
do to play. But he came up with all these different
sounds to indicate what the song meant. Yeah,
he was very expressive without hitting you over
the head with his finger skills. Yes, exactly.
But he could do that because I've seen him do
that. But anyhow, he passed away shortly after
that, so I'm pretty sure Ozzy feels... Bittersweet.
Like, I got to work with him, and he died right
after. Eric Clapton's still around. He is. But
anyhow. Still hates immigrants. I set that up
on a tee for you. I knew you were going to do
that. So anyhow, brilliant. Brilliant. Yeah,
it's such a smart idea to do that. Yeah. So,
I mean, that's really all I got on that. I just
wanted to start that off and go, fucking clever.
And, you know, I think Ozzy's fans and the average
person who's going to want to see this or buy
the video or whatever, they're going to do it
regardless of Ozzy's capabilities. Just be honest
with us about his capabilities. Yes. And we'll
still go. We'll still pay. We'll still enjoy
it. Just don't lie to us about it. It's sold
out in like three minutes, and that's the problem.
Yeah. None of this was announced before the tickets.
And it wouldn't have made a difference. If they'd
announced in advance, it still would have sewn
up in three minutes. Well, I'm disappointed just
as much in that as the trickery from what I see
allegedly, you know, this way we feel. Okay,
I'm disappointed in that, just the trickery,
just as much as I am their failure to realize
the cult following of Ozzy. Yeah, yeah. They
should know that it would not matter, and it
doesn't matter. I think, actually, it added to
people wanting to see him more. I think so. I
think so. They probably hadn't even thought about
it yet. They probably just went ahead and booked
this and was like, okay, we'll figure it all
out later, and this is our answer for one of
the deals. Here's a good example of how honesty
sells. There's a European country. It's one of
the northern countries, like Scandinavia and
Belgium, somewhere around there. Their anti -smoking
laws were to the point where every pack of cigarettes
sold had the big... print on it bigger than the
logo of the cigarette itself said this product
will kill you it will cause cancer and kill you
and sales of cigarettes went up because people
thought that was pretty cool wow you know how
mean i am i smoke cigarettes this could kill
me and i don't pay i don't give a shit so tell
people what ozzy's capable of and exactly how
Disabled, he's gone, whatever. They won't care.
They're going to come anyway. People still like
him. But if you lie to them, they're going to
hate Sharon forever. Yeah, and, well, I think
the hate group is already there. Listen, I think
she's brilliant, shrewd, a little too much for
me. Brilliant? Yes. Yeah, but she's lost her
decency and humanity along the way. I love what
Tony Iommi said not too long ago in the press.
They were talking about... You know, her dad,
Don Arden, was notorious for being shrewd and
ripping people off, allegedly, and all that stuff.
Yeah. And Tony Obey said, that's why he went
with his daughter, and she did everything we
thought her dad was going to do. Yep. And I'm
like, whoo! That plan did not work out. No, I
sure would like to see that backstage at this
show. Got a cough now. Oh, okay. Okay. Is it
still on? Yeah, we're still on. Oh, okay. I just
coughed in everyone's ear. Oh, good, good. Don't
worry, he can't catch anything. So, all right.
And he's not sick anyhow. No, this is from abusing
my throat by snoring all night. Yes. Cindy said
it really sounded like I was sawing logs. She
was sleeping in the front room in the recliner
because that was more comfortable for her knee.
Sometimes when I'm snoring, she'll call my phone
to wake me up. She'll tell me, turn over, turn
over. And I won't remember, but I do. Okay, thank
you. She said last night I was snoring loudly,
and then all of a sudden I stopped. And she's
like, okay, did you quit snoring or is he not
breathing? He died. It's a brutal game. Yeah.
I think I can hear them breathing. I hope so.
Oh, well, I've got to go back to MASH. I definitely
have sleep apnea. I need to clean out my CPAP
and start using it again. CPAPs are tough. They're
tough, yeah. You can tolerate them or you can't.
I've got a dental dam. And I thought that was
great. And I can tolerate it more than a CPAP.
A mask type thing, yeah. Yeah, but it still sucks.
It does. Because there's this element of waking
up and your mouth being in a weird position and
thinking that you're not breathing. Yeah. And
I, from what I understand, a lot of people do
that. And they're like, ugh! What a horrible
way to start your day. Oh, yeah, it sucks. So,
and then a lot of times you end up spitting it
out anyhow. And then you wake up and, you know.
It's across the room and you're like, what? Yeah,
yeah. I'm not sure how we got here from Sharon
Osbourne. I don't know either. I think it's because
I was coughing. Oh, okay. So I have some of the
strangest double bill concerts. Oh, excellent.
And then you have some stuff too. Yeah, yeah.
I've got, let's tease them, but I've got songs
that the title of the song is not in the lyrics.
I have bands with no original members left. I
love that one. Bands who have members who are
in a relationship. Cool. And songs with really
messed up meanings. That's cool. I have bands
that do not sound like their name. Oh, that's
a good one, too. The 12 weirdest song titles
in rock history, according to Rock and Roll Mag
online. Yeah, and it was a poll that they did.
And then I also have some of the strangest concerts
ever because of events that happened. Oh, yeah.
Some tragic and some odd and funny. So, anyhow,
is our coffees ready? I think those two are ours.
Oh, okay. Let me hit the P button. Okay. But
then when they explain it to us, it'll be in
Italian and we'll be where we are now and just
like going, okay, well, whatever. Oh, that's
true. That's true. Yeah. I have my cappuccino
misgendered as a latte. Wow. And Topher. suggested
that we talk to an Italian person to find out
the rules. Is a cappuccino a latte or not? Yeah.
By definition, I guess it kind of is, right?
Yeah. It's like every Pekingese is a dog, but
not every dog is a Pekingese. Yeah, yeah. So,
yeah, my coffee was misgendered, but I'm not
offended by it. I'm fine. I think your coffee's
offended. I know, but my coffee does look like
a latte. So, you know, I kind of get it. Wow,
that's piercing. I got it. Hang on. I'm going
to call my coffee they. Oh, okay. Okay. I'll
cover it. I'm going to call my coffee It. It?
Because coffee is It. It is the shiz. I wonder
what you do about languages like German, because
they have words that are feminine, words that
are masculine, and words that are neutral. I'm
going to come up with a fake word, just like,
you know, Soundgarden. Soundgarden, I use the
German pronunciation. Yeah. Okay. Schnackla.
That is coffee in my world. Okay. German. German
for coffee. Schnackla. And you know, there are
no rules about languages. So you can invent a
whole language yourself and be the only person
that speaks it. And it's still a bona fide, real,
legitimate language. I've done that before on
alternative insults. Yeah. And people get it.
You call someone an ostrich and they're like,
what? You're a fucking ostrich. They know what
you mean. Yeah. But you really didn't say anything.
It means something else in my world, man. A banister.
I used to make a guy mad. I called him a banister.
If I really wanted to piss him off, a guy I worked
with, I'd call him a wooden banister. And I'm
just like, that sets him off? Anyhow, do you
want to go into yours first or me? Let's try
the songs that have the title not in the lyrics.
Like that? Yeah. Here's a song by The Who. Everyone
knows it by Teenage Wasteland. Teenage Wasteland.
Yeah, it's Baba O 'Reilly. Wasn't he like an
activist or something? I have no idea. I didn't
even bother to look it up. I just thought it
was cool. Okay, they named it after somebody,
and I can't remember who. Yeah. Okay. Neil Young's
famous song, After the Gold Rush, does not contain
those words. Wow. Yeah. And there's people out
there that's like, well, let me listen to that
song again, man. I can swear it was in there.
You know what? When you said that, I didn't,
jeez. Who the heck is, whose backup beeper is
that? Who the fuck has a stairlift? That's what
it sounds like. It sounds like a stairlift beeper.
I think it's that motorized scooter behind you.
Oh, okay. On the other side of the glass. I think
she was backing up. Wow, that was loud. Yeah.
Badge by Cream. That's true. Yep. Badge never
appears in the words. Anyway, Eric Clapton said
they made up the words for that one. They were
really freaking high. There you go. Nothing makes
any sense. It's a great song, by the way. Yeah.
Great song. There's a song by John Lennon where
he's thinking about, Christ, you know it ain't
easy. You know how hard it can be. That's actually
called The Ballad of John and Yoko. Oh, that's
right. Which is not in the lyrics. No, it's not.
Black Dog by Led Zeppelin. Does not contain the
word Black Dog. That's a great one. Blue Monday
by New Order, which used to be Joy Division.
Yeah, yep. Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen. Oh, good
one. Nobody ever says Bohemian or Rhapsody in
that entire song. No, that was a descriptive
title. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, that's great. And
you know, I left a lot of classical songs out
of this because... That's kind of the whole idea
for classical pieces. You don't give them actual
time. No, no, no. You give them, yeah. Without
going into it. We know why they give it to them.
Dramatically or theoretically. Pink Floyd has
a song called Brain Damage on Dark Side of the
Moon. And it's the one where it's kind of the
same song. The lunatic is on the grass. Yeah,
I love this song. The lunatic is in the hall.
Yeah, it's called Brain Damage. I forgot all
about that song, and I forgot the name of it.
It was Brain Damage. All right. Smashing Pumpkins.
Okay. Bullet with Butterfly Wings. True. Not
in the lyrics. Everyone knows Rat in the Cage.
Yep. It's a Rat in the Cage song. Yep. It's one
of those songs that gets called by the lyrics
constantly. As a matter of fact, you go to YouTube
and say Rat in the Cage, it'll take you to Bullet
with Butterfly Wings. Yep. That was one of their
harder -edged songs. Oh, yeah. The video to that
is pretty awesome, too. It is. But a lot of the
original fans were really pissed off about it.
They're like, you're trying to go grunge or whatever.
Billy Corgan just did what he thought the song
needed. He's the brain behind that whole thing.
Here's another one. You've heard the song by
Buffalo Springfield. It's time to stop. Hey,
what's that sound? Everybody look what's going
down. The song is called For What It's Worth.
Didn't know that. Always knew to stop. What's
that sound? Yeah. Everybody look what's going
down is how I always heard it. Yeah. It's actually
called For What It's Worth. For What It's Worth.
Yeah. I actually, I really like that. Yeah. It's
kind of like, for what it's worth. Yeah. I got
this. Famous song on the Beatles White Album.
A Day in the Life. Yeah, that's true. You woke
up, got out of bed, dragged a comb across my
head. A Day in the Life does not appear anywhere
in the lyrics. Yep, and that's the song that
admitted that Paul McCartney was killed in a
wreck. Yep. And they replaced him with a Canadian
cop. Yep. Billy Shears. Thank you. Yeah. Yes.
Yeah, exactly. It was Billy Shears. Yeah. Led
Zeppelin song. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. You don't
have to go. It's called Deer Maker. Deer Maker,
yeah. It was a joke about reggae because the
guys in the band thought reggae was stupid. I
didn't know that. So they made that song as a
joke about reggae. Oh, that's fucking awesome.
Isn't it? Led Zeppelin thought reggae was stupid.
And that's back when you didn't have to apologize
for it. You didn't give your fucking opinion,
and people were like, okay, well, I don't agree
with it, or all right, fuck you. The title is
weird. It's D -Y -E -R, and then M -A -K -E -R.
Was that like a saying, like a Rastafarian thing
or something? I don't know. It's the way you
would write down somebody saying, do you make
her, in a weird accent. Miss Goldstein's love
interest. Ooh. That's right. He was talking to
himself. Go ahead. So if you're saying, do you
make her? Meaning, do you like her? Are you attracted
to her? Do you make her? But if in the accent
it comes out, do you make her? That's where the
song came from. Oh, do you think she's attracted?
That is something I'm convinced. I've never heard
that before. No, I had to look it up. Wow. Oh,
did you think of the name and just go, huh, I
wonder why? And then looked up. Most people I
know pronounce it Dyer Maker. I do because it's
D -Y. Yeah. And if you pronounce it that way,
you really kind of miss what it could possibly
mean. Yeah, but if it's pronounced the way they
meant it, you kind of start getting into a little
bit more of the feeling. So that wasn't very
cool. I'm still going with Dyer Maker. Yeah.
There's a Nazareth song. Now you're messing with
a son of a bitch. That one's called Hair of the
Dog, which appears nowhere in the lyrics. No,
I know, but at least people give that one credit.
Yeah. A lot of people know that as Hair of the
Dog. Yeah, that was a single, so it was pretty
popular. Immigrant Song by Led Zeppelin. That's
an interesting one. I come from the land of the
ice and snow and hot springs. Nowhere in there
does he say Immigrant Song. But it is descriptive
to come from somewhere else, which would mean
an end grant. Anyhow. So that kind of makes sense.
Yeah. Okay, there's an Emerson Lake and Palmer
song. Welcome back, my friends, to the show that
never ends. I'm so glad you could attend. Come
inside, come inside. It's called Carn Evil 9.
K -A -R -N -E -V -I -L 9. Wow. Now, Carn Evil
could be a play on Carnival. Yeah, it could be.
They could have took the word carnival and then
split it into two words and dispelled it and
became carn -evil. Yeah, kind of like in the
Garden of Eden. Yeah, means in the Garden of
Eden. Yeah, but they were so fucked up they thought
they were saying it, but they weren't. That's
the rumor. I don't know if that's true or not.
Okay, talking heads of a song. This ain't no
party. This ain't no disco. This ain't no fooling
around. That's called Life After Wartime. Actually,
I knew that, but I forgot it. Since that was
a single, a lot of people do know that one. Nirvana's
got the song, I'm so happy, cause today I found
my friends in my head. That's called lithium,
which is the drug that they give to people when
they're having difficulties. And also, Smells
Like Teen Spirit is not in the lyrics either.
No, it's not. It's a massive hit. I think I left
that one off. Oh, no, I've got Smells Like Teen
Spirit. Oh, okay. Sorry, I didn't mean to preempt
you. That's okay. There's a Green Day song where
he's singing about, you know, it's the same old
shit, I'm sitting in my hotel room, there's nothing
on TV, and I'm fucking wasted. That's called
Longview. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. I was in
the band where we did that song, and it showed
up on the set list as Longview. And I said, what
the fuck is Longview? And they said, yeah, it's
that Green Day song. I didn't even know it by
the title. Actually, I didn't either for a while,
but what was the other one that was like in Everlong?
Yeah. Foo Fighters. Yeah, that's never on there
either. Anyhow. Oh, no, that is in there. Is
it? I think so. I think one time he sings Everlong.
Okay. All right. At the end of a verse, I think
he goes, Everlong. He felt the need to. Yeah.
Like, there you guys go. Shut up. Now, if you're
making a movie. the title has to appear somewhere
on screen at some point. Yeah. Or you can't,
which is why Apocalypse Now is a good example
of that. The only time that word, that phrase
appears on screen is late in the movie when it's
painted on a wall. And they did that last minute
because somebody told them, you've got to have
the words Apocalypse Now appear somewhere or
you can't register this film. I didn't know that.
Yeah. Makes sense. Next up we have... Paranoid
by Black Sabbath. Oh, that's right. It never
says Paranoid. Nope. Describes it really well,
though. This one's pretty easy. Song 2 by Blur.
Woo -hoo! I first heard that in Starship Troopers.
I'd like to know how many mailbox money royalties
they get. Because that song is used in everything.
It is, really. Space Oddity by David Bowie. The
one with Major Tom. Now, David Bowie, before
he passed, said that he absolutely regretted
doing that song. He thought it was stupid and
silly, and he was just trying to cash in on the
popularity of... It was a hit, but I never liked
it. I never really did either. You did nothing
for me. He didn't like performing it. He didn't
really enjoy that I was playing so much. He was
willing to take the money, but he's like, man,
I kind of wish I'd never done that song because
it's been like a stain on my career. I would
agree. Although it was a radio hit, I never liked
it and thought it was bullshit. Now the sequel
he wrote to that, called Ashes to Ashes, where
he sings Ashes to Ashes, Funk to Funky, We Know
Major, Tom's the Junkie, Scurrying Out in Heaven's
High, Hitting an All -Time Low. That was on the
album Scary Monsters, which is a really good
album. That is one of his best, in my opinion.
It's got Up the Hill Backwards, Scary Monsters
and Super Creeps. Yeah. He changed the sound
just enough on there to really make me like it.
Yeah, yeah. Every now and then he would hook
up with a different producer. And come up with
a new sound. When he hooked up with Brian Eno
for three albums, they became very minimalist.
Some songs there would almost qualify as drone.
Yeah, drone. Very interesting guy. He really
didn't seem to have any kind of style, set style
of his own. He was called Rock's ultimate chameleon
because he would just do anything. He'd make
anything fit. It was pretty cool. You remember
a song by Crosby, Stills, and Nash called Sweet
Judy Blue Eyes? Yeah, yeah. That's how it ends.
It was actually about Judy Collins, the singer
and actress. Okay. Yeah, but it's called Sweet,
as in S -U -I -T -E, Judy Blue Eyes. Sweet. Not
Sweet, S -W -E -E -T. Yeah, like Sweet as in
like a break room. A musical sweet. Yeah, or
a suite of rooms. Yeah, so that was kind of cool.
Ah, The Rolling Stones. Please allow me to introduce
myself. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know what it
is. It's called Sympathy for the Devil, which
he never mentions in the song. No, and people
wonder what it's like. I shouted out who killed
the Kennedys. After all, it was me and you. I'm
talking about the guy that actually did it, and
it was Satan. Yeah. And this was a song that
was supposedly like, hey, we see what you did,
and we acknowledge you. Yeah. And it got him
a lot of grief, too. Yeah. I think it was a parody.
I really do, but anyhow. I've heard of other
songs where somebody sings as the devil. Like
Devil Went Down to Georgia from Charlie Daniels'
Man. He sang some of those lyrics from the point
of view of the devil. So there's a long history
of that, and people only freak out about it when
they feel like it. Yeah, and here's one reason.
At the first, he goes, let me introduce myself.
I'm a man of wealth and taste. Well, he was an
angel. He was the most beautiful of the angels
that God created. So that's what they were describing,
but people thought they were like, going, yeah,
Satan, we love him. But they were describing
it as a parody. It's a song. It's art. But anyhow,
you know what? Plus, everybody was accusing the
Stones of being satanic, so they're like, hey,
let's make some money off it. And I'm sure that
was tongue -in -cheek. Absolutely. Next up, we
have a song by The Clash. Most people know it
as Stand By Me. You can stand by me, you can
go alone. You can stand by me, you can go away.
Which is such an odd song, even for them. It's
kind of cute and poppy and fun. They were a punk
band. But that song is actually called Train
In Vain. I didn't know that. I always knew it
as Stand By Me. Yeah, and I can picture people
looking for that song on an album and not seeing
it. It's like, what frickin' album is it on?
Because they don't know the right... Let me do
a little experiment here. Go ahead, I'm sorry,
I'm going to do the experiment. Another Led Zeppelin
song, Trampled Underfoot, from the album Physical
Graffiti. That's a great song. There's actually
a cover band, or no, I don't know if they're
a cover, they're a reggae band. I think they're
Kansas City based. It's called Trampled Underfoot.
Stand By Me song. And the singer for Trampled
Underfoot went to the same high school I did.
But I didn't know her back then. It's not even
on here, Stand By Me. It goes right to Benny
King, doesn't it? Benny King and Prince Royce.
Yeah. Okay. Anyhow, go ahead. So Trampled Underfoot.
And that is a fantastic song, man. Yeah. The
intro is very interesting. Yeah. The intro's
like an accident, which Jimmy Page was so good
at. And actually, even the solo sounds like he
took his gifts and he just started beating the
shit out of it. Yeah, he really did sometimes.
Which I loved about Jimmy Page. He did what he
felt. Sometimes it wasn't the most beautiful
or nice thing ever. It was always different.
It was always different. My least favorite is
what everyone else's favorite, the violin bow.
I thought that was boring, but I love some of
the other, a lot of the other stuff. I watched
the movie This Is Spinal Tap the other day, which
is a spoof of a hair band who's way past their
prime. Yeah. And the lead guitarist at one point
was doing one of his solos, and he would pick
up an entire violin and scrape it across his
strings. Yes. Making fun of Jimmy Page. Now whenever
I see that, I think Motley Crue. Yeah. Lee Singer
is an obese, long -haired guy that tries to look
cool, and he can't even run. He's so winded,
he can't sing all the fucking lyrics. So every
time he turns it to the crowd, everyone's like,
we're not here to fucking sing, you idiot. We
made you to sing. People started flipping him
off when he did that. He'd get like 30 fucking
flip -offs in the front row because they didn't
like it. They're like, you sing it, asshole.
That was really big in the late 70s. It became
the thing to do at every concert. They would
have the audience sing along part, and I forget
what band it was. He was trying to split the
audience in two and say, so this half sang, then
this half sang. Yeah, there was a little competition.
And then everyone just started booing. Kiss used
to do that in their no makeup days. Yeah, it
was a poppy thing because there were a lot of
younger audience there and a lot of parents there.
So it's like, let's see at this side. Oh, guys,
these guys beat you. You better bring it. And
then they're all just screaming at him. I think
the band that did that was Loverboy. That explains
it. And I think they were even. They were even
the opening act for somebody. They weren't even
the headliner, and they were trying to get this
sing -along competition, and everyone just started
booing and yelling, and they tried to do it,
and everyone was like, All you need is a pair
of red pants and your hand behind it. And a headband.
Yeah, a headband. Red Pants and Your Hand Behind
Red Pants with the Cross the Fingers. Yes. That
was the Get Lucky album, wasn't it? Yeah. I once
described Loverboy as Canada's gross national
product. Amen. You can say the same thing about
Brian Adams. Brian Adams is alright. Alright,
there's a song by The Band. Where the chorus
goes, take a load off, Annie. Take a load for
free. Take a load off, Annie. You put the load,
put the load right on me. The song is called
The Weight. As in W -E -I -G -H -T, like the
heaviness of something. Okay. Yeah. He said he
calls it a load in the song. He never says weight.
That's another one of those stories that generate
interest. Imagine if they called it The Load.
That would have been even better. I'm surprised
they didn't actually. Jefferson Airplane song,
White Rabbit. That's true. One pill makes you
larger and one pill makes you small. The closest
she comes is saying, if you go chasing rabbits
and you know you're going to fall. Tell them
a hookah -smoking caterpillar. I always thought
the lyric was in there, but it's rabbits, not
white rabbits. Yeah, if you go chasing rabbits,
but she never sings white rabbit. Okay. But it's
funny, because for some reason your mind fills
it in. Because I know a lot of people think that's
the lyric. And the whole song is about Alice
through the looking glass. Yeah, that's true.
Was it Stevens? Stevenson? Stevens? Anyway, we've
got whoever wrote it. Alice Through the Looking
Glass. Anyhow, okay. Robert Louis Stevenson?
Albert Louis Stevenson? Somebody might be Elvis.
Somebody Louis Stevenson. Anyway, the guy was
a total stoner, which is why he wrote those books.
I would say that makes perfect sense. Yeah, he
was into the hallucinogens, which there were
plenty of back in the 1800s. Hey, God bless him.
Yeah. Why not? They were there. All right, the
last one I have is a Rod Stewart song where the
chorus goes, Young heart. Be free tonight. Young
Turks. Yeah, that's the name of the song is Young
Turks. But he never sings Young Turks in the
song. That's one that fooled me. Yeah. I thought
he called him Young Turks, but I guess not. Yep.
Is it T -E or T -U? T -U. T -U. That's what I
got, yeah. That was the term. Young Turk was
a term used for a while to refer to somebody
who was single and kind of a player. and went
out every night to party. Oh, I didn't know that.
Good time guy. They call him a young Turk. Oh,
yeah, actually, I think I did know that. Okay.
It was kind of along the lines of Lady Killer
or Heartbreaker, that kind of thing. And this
is when the record company's got to Rod Stewart
and said, you've got to quit this blue stuff.
You've got to quit that. You're a pop guy because
the women love you. Yeah. Play something upbeat
and fun and dancey. But he did do some interesting
stuff with Jeff Beck and I forgot the guy from
St. Louis. That actually helped write Hot Legs
and a couple other ones. Oh, gosh, I'm blanking
on that guy. Billy Lee something, I think. Anyhow.
Nothing sounds really disappointing. Well, he
had to get away from people like that because
it was too talented, really. Anyhow, and then
he started writing Pop Hits, which you would
have heard on 710 WHB. Did you have your car
star? Did you have their car star? WHB car star?
No, no. My parents weren't big on putting stickers
on their cars. No, the same here. I wanted their
car star too. My dad said, I don't want that
rock and roll bullshit on my car. I remember
tuning in every Friday for the Top 40 Countdown
at WHB. Yep. Johnny Dolan? I think so, yeah.
Yeah, Johnny Dolan, because I remember it sounded
like Johnny Roland. Yeah. And I was always wondering,
like, is that the same guy as the traffic guy?
Yeah, but Johnny Roland, the traffic guy, was
a DJ for a while. He was. That's why I wondered.
And then he switched to traffic guy, and now
he's got a driving school. Yeah, which is funny.
Guy's diversifying. It's just like Johnny Dare
did overnights on Q104 when he was doing Z Rock
AM1030. Oh, yeah. Okay. And he was Johnny DeVoe.
And people call in all the time and go, hey,
hey, are you that dare guy? You caught me. That's
me. You're one clever dude. Oh, boy. Okay. I've
got some of the strangest double bills. Cough
a little more. Here we go. All right. Man, that
COVID sure is fun. Watch everybody run. Oh, that's
out. That's out. Yeah, that's not a thing. Pneumocopical
pneumonia. No, babble snatch pneumonia. There
you go. That is the new one. Okay. One of the
strangest double bills in concert history was
a pairing of Kiss with Phantom of the Opera,
but this has actually happened many times after
that. That was the first one. There's a lot of
bands that played the bill. before Phantom of
the Opera, and some of them played them during.
Wow. And anyhow, they were like, you know, the
shock rock sensation, and this was classical
music, and it didn't go over very well. No, I
wouldn't think. A lot of people were afraid to
go to it, so therefore it didn't sell, so therefore
it didn't last. Yeah. I mean, you've got to have
some crossover between your headliner and your
opening act. Yes, and at the time, they figured
it out later. Yeah. They figured out how to do
it. Look at Trans -Siberian Orchestra. Same type
of thing where you incorporate the music into
there. You just got to figure out how to do it
right. And then present it to the people right.
You don't present them as two different indies.
You present them as the same thing. Nowadays,
they coordinate the opening act or acts with
the headliner. But in the frontier days of rock
touring, when they're still figuring things out,
60s, 70s... on, it was not unusual to have a
band go on a national tour and it was stipulated
that whatever city they were playing would provide
the opening act. I remember that. It would always
be like around here, who was it? Shooting Star
got it a while. Yeah. You had put on the uniform
and a couple other hits around here but nowhere
else. I can't think of it. I can't think of it.
The Rainmakers. Yeah, the Rainmakers did it for
a while. And there was J .T. Cook was a band
for a while. Yeah, J .T. Cook was one. These
are back in the KY -102 present days. Even Q
-104, super cute. Yeah, a guy I went to high
school, Kenny Russell, had a band called Rhythm
Method. rhythm method yeah i remember pretty
sure he opened for some some tuning acts yeah
and then there was an alternate to that instead
of having each city provide one they would have
each state they were going to it's like okay
we're going to tour texas and you're going to
play every texas gig with us and then we dump
you yeah and then we're going to go on california
and we'll pick up another band they did that
for quite a while yeah and that way you got like
a somewhat local talent but you could draw more
to your concert So you're playing in Texas and
you're from Illinois and they're like, Yankee
bastard. But if you've got a Texas band opening
for you like ZZ Top before they got big, that
would put you over the top. That would get you
a sellout. Now they don't worry about that. The
thousand seats you didn't sell, you would sell.
And that was back when the opening band had nothing
to do with it. They didn't even meet them. It
was just kind of like they didn't even know who
opened for them. And it makes sense. Why are
you going to pay to all these other musicians
and all their gear around and worry about them
coming through night after night? It's just,
if we get a clunker, then next night we don't
have them, so don't worry about it. The promoters
have a vested interest in the band that opened
up for you, and that's who got it. I would really
love to see a return of local cities provide
the opening act, or at least one of them. That
would make me so happy. It would, yeah. Imagine
some local band you like, and you get to go see
them play in Sprint Center on a huge stage, super
loud. You're like, all right, man. YouTube. Someone
would YouTube that, and if it's very good at
all, it would catch on. Alright, the next one
we have here is Elton John and Eminem. It happened
in 2001. I remember a little bit about it. You
know, the weird thing about that is Elton John
was so popular with a lot of musicians who didn't
sound anything like Elton John. Oh, I know. Well,
Ozzy. I mean, you know. Axl Rose. Axl Rose was...
Man, that was his biggest fan, Axl Rose. As a
matter of fact, he was so freaked out when he
performed with him, he was so scared because
he's such an idol, he was shaking. And that's
where the rumor came that he was on heroin. No,
he said that he was so excited and freaked out
that he got to actually not meet his idol, but
perform with him, that he was shaking. And everyone's
like, oh, he's on heroin. He's like, no, I wasn't.
He's on adrenaline. Yeah, he's on adrenaline.
Naturally produced adrenaline. I never respected
him more after that answer. Yeah. Because he
is a fan of and a musician, which is the best.
And it turns out that Axl was the one who was
trying to save the band from all the addicts
who were ruining the band, Slash included. I
love what he did, though. You guys are meeting
me right here, and you're going to sign this.
The band's over to me, or I'm fucking, that's
it. I'm tired of you guys. Yep. That Duff and
Slash, I believe it was, came over, signed it,
and the rest is history. Yep. And if he hadn't
done that, then Guns N' Roses wouldn't. blown
up and been gone. No, it was brilliant. He's
like, look, and he didn't do it for self -gain.
He did it because he wanted this band to stay.
But I remember at the time, it was portrayed
as narcissistic lead singer demanding his own
way, screwing over his bandmates. Well, he did
have some of that. Yeah, he did have that reputation
as being a hothead. But then you learn that he
was horribly hot. horribly abused as a child,
and that fucks up your mind. I can tell you from
personal experience that being abused as a child
fucks up your brain. I'm still paying for it.
Maybe we need to do a podcast on that one day.
I'd love to. Absolutely. Let's plan it. I'll
do it. And we'll describe it as such so people
don't accidentally push on it. I don't want to
hear this. But the whole rift between Slash and
Axl Rose was over Michael Jackson. Yeah. And
Slash viewed him as a pedophile because of his
allegations and his payoffs. And Slash went and
performed with him, and he said, you don't respect
me at all because you know what happened to me,
and you're performing with that pedophile. Yeah.
And that was allegedly the straw that broke the
camel's back. I can believe it. Yeah. Not heroin,
not anything else. That was finally it. Yeah,
it shows such a disregard for what Axl went through.
It's like dismissing Axl as, he don't matter.
It doesn't matter now. Yeah, and I think maybe
Slash got a little out of hand trying. Maybe
he was going to be a solo artist because he's
seen the band breaking up. He's like, well, what
better way? Go into pop. And it worked. He was
huge. It also broke up Van Halen. Boy, Michael
Jackson was a lot of breakups. Eddie Van Halen
took him such a star. And this is in Alex Van
Halen's book, Brothers. Made him such a star
that David Lee Roth felt threatened. He even
admitted it. He felt threatened by Eddie Van
Halen. He said, no, I'm the star in the band.
So he left. He wasn't fired. He quit. He went
to do a solo career. And that turned out so well.
That's fun. Ego. E -G -O. Small word, big complications.
All right. The Smashing Pumpkins and Marilyn
Manson. In 1997, this pairing brought together
alternative rock and shock rock, creating a dynamic
and edgy concert experience. So people did love
it. Yeah. But it was an odd pairing. On the surface,
you're like, I don't know if I want to be there.
I mean, both bands are pretty hard and pretty
loud and pretty aggressive. Yep. But their underlying
philosophy is quite different. Oh, yeah. There's
one on here I just thought of, but go ahead.
Smashing pumpkins, I tend to think of more personal
expression of... Art. Yeah, art and professing
your inner feelings and things about your life.
Marilyn Manson is all about shocking and disgusting
and... frightening and repulsing at the same
time. And bad things in your head and being fucked
from the start and I hate everything. Yeah, yeah.
You know, Billy Corgan, I think, writes from
his heart and what he thinks and how he feels.
Marilyn Manson writes whatever herself. Yes.
And there's nothing wrong with that. I'm not
putting him down for that. It's just, it's different.
Listen, he made a good living and he did well.
This one, this brought me back to this because
I was actually at that concert. When Body Count
opened up for Metallica and Guns N' Roses. Oh,
wow. It was a stadium tour, one of the first
of its kind, really, where it's just three bands
instead of a festival. And it toured all across
America. They came to Arrowhead. And I had apprehensions
because I thought there was going to be a lot
of fights. It went over well, but it's not on
here, and I don't know why it isn't. It's odd
that rap and hard rock, heavy metal, The attitude
was exactly the same, though. There's so much
crossover. Fuck the establishment. Fuck the system.
We're an outcast. We hate you. And that's what
I realized that day. It doesn't matter how this
sounds. This is the same thing. This is their
version of what's going on in the world. That's
all it is. Yeah, the protest singers of the 50s
and 60s would have fit right in. Yeah, they would
have loved it. Because the message was the same.
They would have loved it. Yeah. You know, like
Tupac, they would have been like, that guy is
fucking brilliant. Yeah. Because of stuff that
he brought to the plate. Not just the music,
but what he was portraying and saying in the
music. Yeah. You know, even B .I .G. did a lot
of the same. So, okay, anyhow. And there's a
lot more, but I'm not really proficient on that.
So, you know, you can put in whoever, you know.
All right, David Bowie at Nine Inch Nails in
1995. Oh, God. That did not go over well. I remember
that. I wouldn't think, no. No. I saw Nine Inch
Nails with, they were opening, they were the
headliner and the opener was Marilyn Manson.
And that fit pretty well. But David Bowie is
a whole different vibe. I mean, that's just weird.
Yeah, I'm not surprised it didn't go over well.
No, it did not. It was a flop. And I think that
David Bowie can't want to get the younger, edgier
bands in there to try to get them there. And
what happened, if I remember correctly, is when
they came by Kansas City, the people like Nine
Inch Jails said, I'm not going to sit through.
Fuck that. No. I'll wait until he becomes a regular
act. Yeah. And you'll have a lot of people walking
out after the opening act because that's all
they came for. Well, that's the other thing that
happened, too. Yeah. David Bowie didn't like...
play into half a crowd either. There was a concert
here in KC. I think it was a big stadium thing.
I think it was Steve Miller and Peter Frampton.
And Steve Miller opened up. I remember a little
about that. And after his set, about half the
stadium left. Because they didn't care about
Peter Frampton. They were there to see Steve
Miller band. Oh, is that that guy with the really
small penis? Yeah. And apparently Frampton was
pissed. He was berating the crowd from the stage.
That's because of his small penis. That's pretty
bad. No, it could be. That's him being mad. That's
him being mad about his extremely small penis.
And he was taking it out on the crowd. But I
imagine Steve Miller got dropped off of that
bill pretty quickly. Steve Miller went up there
at the end of the concert showing his dick. Let
me do a Lyndon Baines Johnson on you. Yeah, yeah.
He fucking shook the table. And he said, I'm
getting my way because of this. And everyone
said, Mr. Johnson, you're appropriately named.
What a fucking deal. The President of the United
States. Would have been funny if somebody else
just hauled his balls out and threw them on the
table. Here's where the action is, dude. I just
fucking won. Case closed. Yep. Pharmacy closed.
Cancel Christmas. You remember a TV series called
Nip Tuck that was about a couple of brothers
that had a cosmetic surgery? Yeah. There was
a scene in there where one of the doctors got
his way at a staff meeting or a board meeting
by pulling his dick out and throwing it on the
table. And we know where they got that from.
Yep. At the time, I didn't. But then I learned
later, oh, that's an LBJ thing. Always thought
like somebody getting a sex change. And they
take the penis, throw it in the trash, and say,
wait, you're throwing away a perfectly good penis.
Bring that back. Put that on ice. Actually, from
what I heard, they turn it inside out, and that
makes the vagina. And the head of the penis becomes
the clit. Oh. Isn't that fun? Isn't that so beautiful
and natural? It is. If you want to do that to
yourself, go ahead. But don't expect me to be
happy about it. Yeah, if you like nature so much,
watch fucking rats fucking and tell me how nice
that is. So, all right. Okay, back to music.
Oh, wait a minute. We were doing that. Okay,
the closest I came to this about what I was talking
about, the Triple Bill Stadium, Metallica had
Jay -Z open for them in 2009. Oh, God. Yeah.
I mean, a more hardcore gangster rap like Ice
Cube, I can see, or Ice -T or something, but
not Jay -Z. No, it didn't go over well, but is
it because they had a collaboration called Collision
Course? Oh. And they merged heavy metal with
hip -hop. And it was... It wasn't bad to see.
I saw some of it. But on paper, it looks horrible.
It looks like it would never work. You know,
Run DMC and Aerosmith had that collaboration
on Walk This Way, but they didn't go on tour
together afterwards. No, no, no. But I'll tell
you what, they were smarter than that, weren't
they? Aerosmith was brilliant. And that revived
Aerosmith's career. It did. Yeah, it was a big
time. I mean, they should probably send half
the money they have to run BMC and say thank
you so much. They were very appreciative. And
here's another thing, too, is there's so many
messages in the song. Yeah. They're in two rooms
doing the same thing, only it sounds completely
different. Yep. By the end of the song, they
tore down that wall and were together. Yep. So
you can take what you want from that, but I know
what they meant. Yeah. And I agree with it 100%.
It's like, you do your thing, I do mine, we meet
in the middle, and we don't care. And I think
that was not the whole campaign, but a part of
the campaign that the recording industry as a
whole was trying to break down the separations
between fans of this music and fans of that music.
They're saying, you can like two or three different
kinds of music and still be faithful to them.
So the music industry wanted to sell more albums.
So they're like, like more kinds of music and
look how they blend well together. Buy these
guys albums too. It was the prequel to Blending
Grunge. Grunge was a blend of alternative and
metal. And they got the idea from that way back
then in the early 80s. Yeah, and it was heavily
based on punk. You ask Kurt Cobain any time during
his career and he'd say, we're punk, we're not
grunge, we're punk. I'm talking from the record
point of view. The record point of view is there's
a lot of bands that were formed because of that.
And there were bands that were formed because
they could make them sound like that. Yes, and
that's where you hear the album before they were
big and the album after they're big. I'm glad
you said that because that describes what I was
trying to say perfectly. And it's like the Bee
Gees were R &B before disco. And then they were
strictly a disco band after that. Yeah, because
that worked so well, they're like, no, you're
staying. The next one is the Beach Boys and the
Ramones. You mentioned that. Squeaky clean and
punk. The juxtaposition of the music era and
styles did not hit. No. And we knew this, and
anyone with a brain would know this. Yeah, I
mean, punk is all about... We don't care that
we can't play. We don't care that we can't sing
or we can't write. We're just going to get loud
and thrash and get in your face. And the Beach
Boys were all about beauty and perfection and
everything working together. There's no crossover
in that crowd. No, punk is a polar opposite of
what the BJs were. Yeah. The BJs. Freudian slip
there. Yes. The Beach Boys. In fact, I've got
Beach Boys on my list of songs with fucked up
meanings. Oh, okay. Speaking of BJs. All right.
Okay, Rage Against the Machine with Wu -Tang
Clan. I remember that. And that went over okay
because... Yeah, I could kind of see that. Wu
-Tang Clan was a little on the rougher side.
Zach De La Rocha was always saying rap style.
Yeah. He was very good at it. As a matter of
fact, when Rage ended, that's what he did. Yeah,
that's true. Yeah, so that went over okay from
what I know. All right, the next one is the Altamont
Free Concert. The infamous event featured Rolling
Stones, Jefferson Airplane, Santana, and the
Flying Burrito Brothers. Oh. They were fun and
all, but no. It was disastrous atmosphere marked
by violence and tragedy. Oh, yeah. Yeah, there
was murders. There was beatings. They actually
have a video of that, of the Hells Angels stabbing
that guy. Yes, yep. And the Ramones were clashing
with everybody. They were fighting everybody
and kicking people off stage during their performance.
I wasn't paid to see that. The Rolling Stones
thought it was a good idea to hire the Hells
Angels as security and pay them in beer. Yeah,
and they were all drunk and they were killing
people. But actually, I think, was it Woodstock?
Yeah, I think it was Woodstock where one person
died of natural causes and one person was born.
So overall, the population stayed the same. That's
funny. I want to know who that was that was born
at Woodstock. Wouldn't that be cool? I'm sure
the name's somewhere. I'll have to look. It was
either Woodstock or Altamont. That's like a trivia
question on a cruise ship. Yeah. What's the name
of the only person born at Woodstock? And one
nerd would know. And only one nerd. There's probably
about 300 ,000 people that were conceived at
Woodstock. Oh, I'm pretty sure. They ran out
of condoms. Nine months after Woodstock, there
was a little mini baby boom. Yep. They were the
mini baby boomers. Yes. The first one was after
the war. Yeah. The second one was Woodstock.
All right. Marilyn Manson and Five Finger Death
Punch. Oh. No, no, no, no, no. What do you think
happened? Riot. Fighting. Yeah, fighting. And
this is the Five Finger Death Punch people were
mad because Marilyn Manson came out after and
they wanted them to stay on. So Five Finger Death
Punch people were beating the shit out of the
Marilyn Manson team. Wow. And that probably wouldn't
be difficult. Judging by your average fan of
each camp, I would vote on the Five Finger Death
Punch people. By the time the tour was over,
it had been over. because the word was out like,
no, don't go there. The Manson fans didn't go
there because they're like, I'm not going to
get beat up. Yeah. We ought to come up with a
list of fans that have the toughest fans. Yeah.
I'm going to write that down. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, me too, because I'm going to make sure
that I remember that. And how about a list of
fans that think they're the toughest? Yes. And
the snottiest fans. You know, the ones that like,
oh, I only listen to you two. Okay, I've got
toughest fans, the wannabe fans, and the snotty
fans. Okay. Can you do goat noises while I write
this down? We give our premium feed when we're
busy with something else. Wannabe fans? Yeah,
for wannabe, I'm going to include wimpy, clueless.
And what was the last one? Snotty? Snotty fans.
Okay. Kind of like the Kansas Jayhawk fans. Got
their ass funded. They were spanked bare bottom
on air. And you know, I feel bad for the players,
but... I don't feel bad for all the bandwagon
fans who only like them because they want to
back a winner. You're right. And that's me too.
The hardcore fans I have no problem with. The
ones who are like, they celebrate them and all
of a sudden they got their Mizzou hat on. No,
I think Mizzou went out too. K -State women's.
Oh, there we go. They got their K -State women's
hats on. All right. And finally, Jimi Hendrix
and the Monkees. That's the one you're talking
about. Yeah, that was so weird. That was when
Hendrix wasn't known and the Monkees were...
I mean, Monkees started getting big around, what,
66 or so? And it was a totally made -up band.
I mean, it was like the Partridge family. They
only existed because of a TV show. And then people
wanted to see them live, so like, all right,
I guess we've got to take this fraud on the road.
Yeah, they hired the people because of their
look. Yeah. They didn't hire them because of
their talent. And the way they acted and goofed
around together and their comedy value. They
made great, easy -going hippies that played music.
Now, Michael Nesmith, the dark -haired guy, he
could play guitar. He was a good musician. Peter
Tork was decent. Davy Jones could sing somewhat.
Mickey Dolenz didn't even know how to play anything.
Oh, I know. So they stuck him on the drums. He
was Mickey Six. They stuck him on the drums.
No, it's funny because they outsold the Beatles
in 1968. And who else did they outsell? The Stones.
The Stones. Yeah. Yeah, they outsold them both
in 1968. The Monkees, a made -up band. And that
was the birth of the teeny -bopper movement.
Yes, it was. I mean, so many bands came out that
were just designed for 12 -year -olds. NSYNC.
They were the prequel to NSYNC. You had the Osmonds,
and you had the Cowasills, and the Carpenters.
I mean, the Carpenters were good. They made decent
music. The Bald Knobbers? They marketed them
towards the 12 -year -olds. The Bald Knobbers?
Yes, the Bald Knobbers. The Association. No,
didn't they do music, too? Yeah. I thought so.
Okay. Bald Knobbers. Well, no. Now we're on.
Okay. I brought this up in one of the podcasts.
You remember the big snow that happened here
in Missouri? The big, big one, the blizzard snow?
Yeah, around Christmas. Okay, one of the alternate
weather channels, I think it might have been
fox weather or something like that, they put
up 8 .5 inches in Knoblick, Missouri, and 4 .5
inches in Knoblick, or no, no, Knobrub, West
Virginia, and then there was another suggestive
name in a row on the scrolling. And I caught
it. I'm like, what? First, when I saw Knob Lick,
I'm like, oh. And then when I saw Knob Rub, I'm
like, no, this was planned. And then I forgot
the third one. There's the Lick Skillet, Missouri.
Lick Skillet. Lick Skillet. Lick Skillet. That's
going to be one of ours. But I actually changed
the theme song from Montrose to Knob Lick. Or
not the theme song, but the Daily Douchebag Pledge.
Yes. Lick Skillet. Yep. L -I -C -K? Yep. There's
also a licking Missouri. Oh, there is, yep. Shell
Knob. Shell Knob, yeah. There's Knob Town, but
that's not really officially a town. No, no,
that's like in between Lee's Summit and Raytown.
Yeah, that's where all the massage parlors are
is Knob Town. Appropriately named in that one
fucking... A couple blocks of road. Yeah. From
the outside, they look like they're pretty low
-budget ones. They are, yeah. If you've only
got a couple of bucks, you're fine. They're right
next to Little Blue River. Yeah. Where people
dump their trash. And some really, really ugly
motels. Yeah. By the hour. Parking in the back.
Yeah. Parking in the back so no one will see
your car there and know what you're up to. It
will throw a tarp over your car when you park
for free. Yes. So the drone can't see you. We
actually have fake cars here to hide yours. There
you go. You take this in our underground bunker
and we leave a different car up there. What they
ought to do is get some inflatable full -size
versions of the Cybertruck and blow them up and
put them everywhere. It's like, ooh, we know
who goes there. We should go there too. Yeah,
let's go do a hate crime. Well, you figure if
people with Cybertrucks are there, the girls
probably have never seen a full -size penis.
This is true. Yeah. This is true. But remember
what we said in the car? Yes. We came to this
conclusion. Okay, if someone spray paints a swastika
on a Tesla and a Jewish person owns it, isn't
that a hate crime? Yeah. Yeah. Actually, it doesn't
matter who owns it. I've seen photos of swastikas
painted on Tesla dealerships over in Europe.
That is absolutely a hate crime. It is a hate
crime. But why is it accepted by so many people?
It's bullshit. If you really believe what you
say and you're not fake. Well, it's the age -old
human tendency that the people we like get to
break the rules. And the people that we don't
like have to follow the rules. And that's how
everybody operates. That's true. I like you,
so I'm going to let you break a bunch of rules.
Oh, you? I don't like you, so I'm going to watch
you 24 hours a day and make sure you do everything
right. Yep. So, you know, someone who, they would
hate it if somebody painted a swastika on their
church, but they're fine if someone paints a
swastika on a Tesla dealership. True. Because
now they agree with it, so they no longer find
it objectionable. That's a great analogy. Yeah.
But, you know, the law doesn't look at it that
way. Human beings do, which is fine. You know,
that's natural. That's normal. But laws don't
look that way. But the law says you paint a swastika
on something, it's a hate crime. Doesn't matter
what you painted it on. I agree. Yep. Yep. No,
that. That is wrong. I agree with what you said
100 % because that is, it's, oh, shit, what would
you call it? I mean, there's peaceful protests,
and then there's violence and lawbreaking. That
Tesla dealership on State Line that had a couple
of trucks burn overnight, the afternoon before,
I drove by there and saw a couple of people setting
up to protest. Oh yeah, yeah, that's right. So
I imagine somebody saw the protest and decided,
you know what, I'm going to do something about
it. And they went and burned up a couple of cars.
A couple of Cybertrucks. The people doing the
protest, it was their right. It was their right
to protest. Peaceful protest. Boycotting is perfectly
fine. Yeah, but you don't go firebomb something
you don't like. No, no. That's not what we do
in America, right? That's right. Okay. Anyhow,
we got off on a tangent. That's all I have. Alrighty.
Well, I've got several things that go into your
choice. Bands with no original members left.
That. I want to hear that. Because I know it's
a long list and surprising. Yeah. Now, some of
these I wrote down, but others, you just have
to take my word for it. Okay. Here's one that
surprised me. Quiet Riot. Since 2007, no original
members left. Yeah. Now, I thought there was
some carryover, but then I realized the singer
passed. Guitar players kind of came and went.
Bass players kind of came and went. I don't even
know who the drummer was. Rudy Sarzo was the
original bassist. He went to Ozzy. Randy Rhodes
was the original guitarist. He went to Ozzy,
too. And the drummer was Frankie Benally, maybe?
Yes, that was it. He wore stripes. He had striped
drums, I think. Did he die? I think he died.
I think so. I think he had cancer, yeah. I think
a lot. The singer and the drummer, I think, both
passed. Yeah, the singer, unnatural. Kevin Dubrow.
Yeah, cocaine. Dubrow, I think. I don't know.
Dubrow, whatever. Cocaine turns your arteries
into concrete pipes. Yep. It's going to kill
you eventually. And it did so. Yeah. All right.
The next one. Yes. Since 2015, no original music.
That surprises me. Yeah. Their singer, John Anderson,
he wasn't even original. No, no. He was not original
to the band. No, he was actually a replacement
to... I'm blanking, but... Me too. Anyhow, go
ahead. I'll look it up. All right. Hart has not
had any original members since 1982. That surprises
me. How do you do Hart, the Wilson sisters, without
them? The Wilson sisters weren't original members.
Oh, I didn't know that. Okay, that makes sense.
Yeah, they joined in. The band was called White
Heart. Okay, so they're still in it. Yeah, the
Wilson sisters are still in it, but they're not
original members. It was Roger Fisher and I think
his brother, and they brought the Wilson sisters
in, and they started having great success, and
then they eventually... The Wilson sisters were
dating guys in the band, and then they broke
up with the guys in the band, and the guys couldn't
handle it. And at a certain point, the Wilson
sisters are like, we pretty much are this band.
So they recorded an album with them and then
fired them all. AI's wrong. They have John Anderson
as their first singer. Oh, interesting. Maybe
he was. But it's like REO. Kevin Crone is not
original. Tony K. Oh, I remember Tony K. Was
one of the other band members singing, possibly,
like Genesis? Could be, yeah. Oh, well, you know
what? Who knows? Go ahead. Blood, Sweat, and
Tears, who were big in the 60s. I would have
no idea on that. Yeah, they were kind of like
Chicago, but with more of an edge. Yeah. But
since 1968, they didn't have any original members
left. That was like... In their heyday. I can't.
I know. It was crazy. It was like the replacements
were better than the originals. Yeah. The Hollies.
Named after Buddy Holly. They haven't had any
original members since 1999. And these are bands
that are still active. Okay. Because if they're
not active, they don't count. Humble Pie. Not
since 1991. And let's see. Frampton came out
of Humble Pie, but that was in the 70s. Yeah.
So they went as late as 1991 with still original
members. Yeah, that's what surprised me. Yeah.
Because that band had been around so long. Canned
Heat in 1981. They lost their last original member.
Okay, I can believe that. Here's a good one.
Judas Priest. Oh, I knew that. Since 1973. They
haven't had any original members left. Rob Halford
was an original KK, and Tipton were an original,
and the drummer was always just whoever the fuck
they got. Here's what they had listed as the
original members. Al Atkins on vocals, Brian
Stabenhill on bass, John Perry on guitar, and
John Partridge on drums. That was the original
Judas Priest. Yeah, because they didn't have
a dual guitarist. That is so crazy. Iron Butterfly.
They're still active. No original members since
99, but they're still active. No one would know
is one of the things. It's kind of like a foreigner.
Nobody really knows if that's that. Anyhow, go
ahead. Little River Band is still playing. They
were popular in the 70s. But since 98, they haven't
had any original members left. Wow. So they've
been going for, what, 27 years? No original members.
Wow. Yeah. Blackfoot. 2012 was the last original
member. I'm surprised it lasts until 2012, actually.
I am, too. They originally were founded as, you
know, we're all Native Americans, but very quickly
that was no longer the case because they kept
losing members and replacing them. They couldn't
find... Part of us are Native Americans. Yeah,
I mean, they were... Native Americans don't make
up a big percentage of the population, so the
number of really good musicians... is a smaller
overall number than, if you count the rest of
the country. Sounds to me like they're trying
to capitalize on a glitch, you know, on a niche.
Yeah, it was kind of their gimmick or trademark
or whatever at first. Yeah, their gimmick gets
a better way of saying it. But it just wasn't
sustainable. Just didn't do it. Yeah, it wasn't
sustainable. Thin Lizzy is still going. I love
them, too. Yeah. I mean, Phil Linod and, was
it Gary Moore? I think so, yeah. Yeah, I could
see that. Gary Moore, Phil Lynott, both dead.
The other two, who cares? But they haven't had
any originals since 2013. So they've been going
12 years without originals. I believe it. Yeah,
Vivian Campbell. No, is it Vivian Campbell? I
think it's Vivian Campbell. I think so. Yeah.
They're one of the most underrated bands ever,
in my opinion. Then Lizzy had such a great sound.
Oh, yeah. Oh, man. They never really got their
deal. I know they have hits. A few hits, yeah.
But they should have been bigger, in my opinion.
They had such a great sound. Uh, GWAR. You familiar
with GWAR? They don't have to be. They're weird
to be got costumes and masks. Okay, no original
members since 2014, but then again, that's kind
of what Gloria is. They're like the Blue Man
Group. How would you know? Yeah, it's just they
rotate band members anyway. That's kind of what
they do. Like the Blue Man Group does. It's just
kind of like, oh, hey, so -and -so's available.
Put enough glue on him. Nobody will know he's
a different guy. Yep. Molly Hatchet. Oh, Tommy
Thayer. Tommy Thayer, true. Ace? Okay, anyhow.
Molly Hatchet, still active. No original members
since 2017, but... Even when they were doing
their original run, they changed lead singers
about three times. Okay, Rob and I decided you
don't say Molly Hatchick, you say Molly fucking
Hatchick. Oh, yeah. Or I do a twist on it, Molly
Mick fucking Hatchick. Or if you're French, you
say Molly Hatchay. Oh, I'll bring that up tonight.
Topher's run on this. Molly Hatchay. Molly Hatchay.
You've got to join us on a douche bag. I should.
All right. Next up, we have a band called Autograph.
Yeah, yeah. Turn on the uniform. Turn up the
radio. KMO 102, give me some more. Remember they
used to do that? They used to put that in? Okay.
They're still active, but last three years without
any original members. Molly Mache, was that it?
Holly. Molly Hachet. Hachet. A foreigner. Depending
on the night, if Mick Jones is playing, they
still have an original member. If Mick Jones
decides not to play, then they haven't had an
original member since 2022. Because Lou Graham
was not an original member like people think
he was, but he's the most recognizable. Yeah.
And they swapped out the drummer, they changed
the guitar player. It's kind of like Journey.
Journey. The most famous is Steve Perry. Yeah.
So, you know, Aaron would rather see Steve Perry
in there, you know, just like they would rather
see Lou Graham in there. Yeah. Because they were
the famous voices with the hits. Yeah. So, anyhow,
go ahead. Sepultura. Still active, but no original
members since 2006. Yep. Okay. Yep. It's not
like they're out on tour putting out albums,
but they're still considered a band and they
will take gigs. Okay, yeah. And I remember when
every band tried to sound like them. Yeah. It
was a fucking mess. All right. And then the last
one I got, this is an oldie, the Oak Ridge Boys.
Elvira. Yeah. I used to enjoy them. Elvira. No
original members since 1957. Okay, I got to do
Grandfather Claws. They're original. In 1957,
they're original. Yeah. The fun thing is, they're
still active. You can still hire the Oak Ridge
Boys to come out and sing for you. That's who
was playing in my neighbor's backyard. Yeah.
Okay, I get it. The Oak Ridge Boys, they were
founded in 1943. So we're only 17 years away.
They're grandfathered in, too. We're only 18
years away from them being 100 years old. Fuck.
If the Oak Ridge Boys can make it to 100, they've
got to be in the Hall of Fame somewhere. It's
like Leonard Skinner keeps replacing their people
with younger guys. I mean, they're almost like
Kiss's avatar, only they're not avatars. Oh,
my God. Oh, Kiss is going to play at their 50th
reunion. Oh, cool. So they're liars. Yeah. But
we knew this. Yeah. Okay. Oh, is that it? That
was it. Okay. Bands that do not sound like their
name. Number one, I think everybody can agree
with. Eagles of Death Metal. Yes. They suck.
They are not death metal. They're a horrible
team. Yeah, I've tried to listen to some of them.
I want to punch them in the face every time I
hear anything they've done. I'm very sorry the
terrorists bombed their concert. They should
have just got them. That was probably the biggest
boost to their career in their entire life. They're
like, who's that? Eagle for death metal? We better
listen to them. They sound tough. Alright, next
one. Incubus is what I used to call them. Oh,
yes. Incubus. No. Nothing. Do you know what an
incubus is? Yeah, it's a demon. Yep. It's a very
attractive demon. It takes a male form and comes
to Earth to have sex with women. Yep. To lure
them into a life of sin. Yes. The female version
is called a succubus. A succubus, yep. Which
kind of makes sense. Yeah. And a lot of people
don't know that because they get the two mixed
up whenever they talk about it. But yeah, you're
right. The next one I got is... Blue Oyster Cult.
Yes. Now, when you hear that, you're like, oh
my gosh, this band is going to be terrorizing.
They're going to be nuts. They're going to be
insane. They're actually kind of mellow. They
are kind of mellow. I mean, there's overdriven
guitars and fun, but it's still kind of mellow.
Of course, they have the famous Don't Fear the
Reaper song. Yes, the more cowbell song. Yeah.
Yeah. It does need more cowbell, by the way.
But, yeah. And also, join... Joan Crawford's
Risen from the Dead and stuff like that. Burning
For You, Godzilla. Burning For You was a certified
radio hit. It was written like that and they
meant it. Their original name was Soft White
Underbelly. They used to perform under... You're
the one that told me that. They used to perform
under that name a couple of times. at the beginning
of the tour, kind of work out their stage act.
They'd find a small club and perform as Soft
White Underbelly to kind of work out their live
act. But then the fans quickly realized that's
who it was, and they couldn't do it anymore.
It would be funny if there was actually a band
named that, and then they went and they both
subbed for them. Yeah, and then it's like, hey,
you guys go out on this one. That would be great.
The next one, and I agree with this 100%. The
zombies. Oh, yeah. Yeah, they don't sound like
zombies. No. Nope. Or look like zombies. No,
not really. The next one I agree with 100 % too.
Bare naked ladies. Yes. Yes, that's awful. That
was a very good example right there. This next
one is a better example. Savage garden. I don't
believe I heard their stuff. Oh, they were real
poppy 90s. Oh, yeah. They were almost like a
Mr. Jones. You could put Panic at the Disco into
that too because they don't sound like Panic
and there's no disco. Do I even have that on
here? I don't think I do. Yeah, I do. I got Panic
at the Disco. Yeah, that's a good one there right
there. The next one, 10 ,000 Maniacs. Yeah, I
was going to bring that up if you didn't. Yeah,
they were so mellow and so ear -friendly and
safe for word. Yeah, they were like the perfect
little radio fucking cutie. Yeah, that was the
band. They changed their name practically after
every gig because they couldn't get rehired.
And that just happened to be the name they were
using when they got signed. And the band members
were like, this is not the name we wanted. But
they were just kind of stuck with it. That's
cool. Yeah, and... Next one, Violet Femmes. Oh,
yeah. Yeah. Violet Femmes, definitely. I mean,
but... I think Blister and the Sun is the only
song I know by them. Yeah, and that does, I mean,
it is kind of erratic. Yeah, it's a little punkish.
Yeah, but still doesn't... next one panic at
the disco we both agreed with that um the next
one joy division yes a little dark for that yeah
you're pretty dark yes um next one if you remember
them they were kind of like a little thing and
they'll turn them around though unusual the darkness
oh yeah they sounded like glam metal But you
would have expected them to be more like nine
-inch nails. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, the darkness you
thought... Or Gary Newman. Yeah, they're going
to come out in the mass or something, like Slipknot.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's what the darkness kind
of portrays. But actually, they sound like poppy
glam metal. At least you could probably put ministry
on that list, too. Ministry is a great example.
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I don't know how you get
Jesus to build your hot rod, but... I pulled
it off. All right, and the next one. I'm reaching
really, really wide on this one. This one of
mine. KMFDM. I don't know. Can you find it on
there? KMFDM? They were a very, very niche group.
Really niche group. They were alternative alternative,
but they didn't really sound alternative alternative.
But only like the real alternative people. The
ones that went home and cut themselves just to
watch them bleed. Those were the ones that listened
to this. multinational industrial rock band.
Industrial, that's what. From Hamburg. Yep. Led
by Sasha Bam... Burra -Cohen? No. No. Babble
Snatch. Yeah, Babble Snatch. Okay. By Sasha Babble
Snatch. Yeah. Formed in 1984 as a performance
art project. Isn't that weird? Well, when you
get a chance, listen to their stuff. Yeah. It's
like more music than it is anything else. But
it's pop metal chords put together very dark.
Just listen to it. Next one I agree with 100%.
Death Cab for Cutie. Yes. Yeah. They sound like
the Cutie part, but not like the Death Cab part.
No, they don't sound like the Death Cab. And
then finally, Mannheim Steamroller. Oh, yeah.
Yes. And that is all I have. All righty. Well,
I've got a nice list of songs that you probably
know that really have kind of messed up meanings.
Okay. I like this one, too. All right. You remember
the song Pumped Up Kicks? It's about a shooter.
It's about a kid finding a gun and fantasizing
about shooting everybody in his neighborhood
that he didn't like. Yeah, and... It says, run,
baby, run. They're worried about their shoes.
It's like all the little kids with the pumped
up kids. They better run, baby, run or something
like that. Yeah, I remember hearing some lyrics.
I got my gun. That sounds a little dark. Really
nefarious. Let's see. It says, you better run,
baby, run. I got my gun and stuff like that.
And it was right after a shooting. Yeah. I can't
remember which one. Yeah, there were so many.
Yeah. You remember a band called Fastball? Yeah.
They had a song called The Way. Mm -hmm. That
was about a real story about a real couple who
had Alzheimer's, and they set off one day to
go to a family event like 100 miles away. They
found them days and days and days later in their
car at the bottom of a ravine, hundreds of miles
off course. Were they dead? Yeah. So, you know,
two people with Alzheimer's, they both got confused.
Neither one could figure anything out, and they
just drove. Drove and drove and eventually went
down into a ditch. I don't know why one of the
family members couldn't have figured that out
when he got them. Yeah. I mean, at some point,
you've got to go take their keys away. Yeah.
Yeah, that's fucked up. Yeah. Remember that stupid
dance song, the Macarena? Yeah. Ugh. We need
to erase that from the stream. Well, here's what
the lyrics are about. It's a woman whose boyfriend
joins the army. And then when he gets deployed...
She has a three -way with his two best friends.
Oh. That's what you're dancing to when you dance
the Macarena. Makes you wonder where that came
from. It probably happened. Yes. Why else would
you think of that? Yeah. I don't know. Okay.
See, Don't Stand So Close to Me by The Police.
Oh, yeah, I know this one. It's about an older
man who can't control his sexual attraction to
an underage girl. Yep. Yeah. And I need to quit
blurting these out because sometimes whenever
you say something, I do it personally like, oh,
yeah. Yeah. All right, every breath you take
by the police, which people use at their weddings,
is actually about a stalker. A very disturbed
individual. And you know who the stalker was?
Huh? Sting. Oh, okay, he wrote about himself.
His obsession with a woman. He actually was like,
yeah, I heard him on a couple interviews. He
freely admits it. He goes, yeah, I was obsessed
with this lady, and I really, you know, did some
stupid shit. It's about that. But they did change
some stuff, like Young Schoolgirl, the fantasy,
and all that stuff. Made it radio -friendly,
at least. Well, yeah, he took that song from
his experience of being a stalker. Crazy. Yep.
Semi -Charm Life by Third Eye Blind. It's about
meth addiction. Totally. Look at the lyrics.
Look at the lyrics on your phone. It's all about
meth addiction. I believe it. Yep. Oh, that's
fucking awesome. And the guy who wrote it, he
said, you know, this was my teenage years. All
my friends, everyone was addicted to meth. So
I just wrote about that. I burn copper wire in
my backyard. This one's probably pretty well
known. Santeria by Sublime. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's someone wanting to hunt down and shoot
some guy named Sancho. Because he was sleeping
with his girl. Yeah. Yeah. Actually. He was going
to shoot his punk ass. Yeah. I won't hesitate
to stick that barrel straight down Sancho's throat.
Yeah. Anyway. Yeah, I actually performed that
song on a friend's CD. Oh, really? Yeah. I did
Santorina. Do you have it? Yeah. I did Santeria
and I did Big Fish. Were you drumming or singing?
Yeah, I was the drummer. Okay, cool. That's my
friend Ed. He's remixing a lot of this stuff.
Oh, cool. There was another one that I did called
Outskirts that when he mixed the CD, he put in
the drum machine track instead of mine. Faster.
And I thought that he'd, you know, well, I guess
he just decided he liked that better. And then
I mentioned it to him. He said, oh, I didn't
mean to. So he called up the file, and there
was my drum track buried way in there. And so
he brought that up and mixed it back, and he's
like, yeah, that does sound better. If he ever
does a re -release, I'll get my performance on
there. Cool. Let's see, up next, Prison Sex by
Tool. It's actually about the cycle of child
sexual abuse. Actually, they did a big, yeah.
I only remember bits and pieces of this, but
he kind of went on tour with this, but not with
the band. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, he was saying something,
Maynard. Yeah. His lyrics always mean something.
Yes. Yeah. Maynard James Keenan. Yep. All right.
Black Balloon by the Goo Goo Dolls and Under
the Bridge by the Red Hot Chili Peppers, both
about heroin addiction. I knew Under the Bridge
was because that's where a lot of people in L
.A. are. Under the Bridge doing heroin. Brick
by Ben Folds Five is about teen abortion. Wow.
Yeah. You listen to the lyrics. It's the guy
who goes and picks up his girlfriend because
her parents are out of town. Takes her down to
the abortion clinic and walks around the parking
lot while she's getting it done. I guess I've
never listened to the lyrics. Man, it's really
sad. It is so sad. Wow. Yeah. A sex type thing
by STP, Stone Temple Pilots. It's about rape,
but from the rapist's point of view. Wow, I want
to get close to you. Yeah, I told you not to
wear that dress. Yeah. You wouldn't want to make
me have to hurt you. Wow. He wrote that intentionally
as a protest against all the macho, misogynist
lyrics that... bands of the 80s put out you know
the guys dominate and their women are just a
sex tool for them so he said all right let me
rub your nose in it and he put out sex type thing
and he said this is how you all sound you're
a rapist on the make wow so it initially it was
like oh this is ugly but then the women's advocacy
groups latched onto it said no no no this is
important yeah wow okay all right So, next. Disarm
by Smashing Pumpkins is about Billy Corgan himself
being abused as a child and then thinking about
killing himself and his parents. Wow. Yeah. So
I want to listen to that song again. I was just
taking that. I've got to re -listen. Yeah. I
mean, I remember as a kid fantasizing about...
Not me killing my father, but something or someone
killing my father. A meteorite? Yeah, a car accident.
Space junk? My invisible friend who is a caveman.
And it's because I wanted the abuser to stop,
and the only way I could think of was somebody
has to kill him. I never acted on it, but I remember
thinking about it. We're going to work on that
podcast, man. Do you think it will do you good?
Oh, yeah. I think so, too. Then we'll do it.
Jump by Van Halen. Might as well jump. Jump.
They wrote it while they were watching a live
TV broadcast about a suicide jumper. Why don't
we all jump? Oh, that's kind of dark. Go ahead
and jump. Yeah. Wow. They're telling him to go
ahead and jump. It's nasty. Okay. Slide by the
Goo Goo Dolls. Also about abortion. Okay. I'm
going to have to listen to that one again. Me
too. I had no idea, of course. Pat Travers, Boom
Boom, Out Go the Lights. Now, he didn't write
it. He was a remake, but that's the version of
America. It's about hunting down and shooting
a cheating woman. Wow. That's exactly what it's
about. That's what Boom Boom, Out Go the Lights
is. I'm going to shoot twice and you're dead.
And audiences scream that out and have no idea.
Isn't that awful? They're up there going, oh
boy. I guess that's why the song isn't performed
much anymore because cheating on your spouse
does not, deserve a death sentence. It just doesn't.
What it deserves is you taking everything from
them and rubbing their nose in it. There you
go, especially if you had a prenup. Okay, Brown
Sugar by the Stones. That's not what I think
it's about? It is about slavery, physical abuse
of slaves, and the rape of slaves by the plantation
owners. And the slave bosses and all that stuff.
It's about the total degradation. of the slaves.
That's how come they can still play it on the
radio? Yeah. I always wondered that. I'm like,
why aren't they still playing this? It's because
it's holding up all those, because the British
had slaves too. They abolished it before Americans
did. But they're holding up those old British
white slave owners and saying, yeah, we know
what you are. We know what you did. You know,
you donated this bridge or this hospital or whatever,
but we know you're a scumbag. Cool. Yeah. You're
All I Need by Motley Crue. Yeah, yeah, I know
what that's about, but go ahead. Guy murdering
his girlfriend. Nikki Sixx saw it on TV and wrote
a song. Allegedly. Yes. All right, here's a more
fun one. Bryan Adams, Summer of 69. Now, in 1969,
Bryan Adams would have been... probably about
nine or ten years old. I wondered that. So he
wasn't back there. Because he was my age singing
that. I'm like, wait a minute. Yeah. I mean,
I was eight years old in 1969. And I think Bryan
Adams is younger than me. Yeah, I think he bonded
like five or six. I remember adding it up one
day, and I'm like, what's he talking about? They
disguised the meaning a little bit by adding
in lyrics that makes it sound like they were
in a band. Then that's what? But what the song
is really about is the summer that he discovered
oral sex. He and his girlfriend discovered the
69 position, and were doing it all summer long.
Wow. That's what the song's about. That's funny.
And who was it? Gronkowski was also a big fan
of that. He was always telling everybody, oh,
I just love 69. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. So
anyway, next time you hear Summer of 69, you
can just picture that in your head. Yeah, wow.
Okay. Mother and Child Reunion by Simon and Garfunkel.
Oh, yeah. It's the Mother and Child Reunion.
Beautiful little song. Yep. It's about the fact
they were eating at a Chinese restaurant and
noticed there was a dish on the menu that contained
both chicken and egg. That was the mother and
child reunion they were talking about. By having
both chicken and egg in your food. There's also
a comedian that has the omelet thing. Where it's
like, you know, you got like the Tony Soprano
of the fucking chickens. He goes, I want the
babies dead. I want the father dead. I want the
mother dead. All on a plate. There you go. All
right. Good Riddance by Green Day. I hope you
had the time of your life. Yeah, yeah. It's a
song about really nasty breakup. It really is.
I could see that. And people play it at weddings.
People play it at parties and celebrations. I
always thought it sounded sarcastic. Yeah, what
he's saying is, I hope you had the time of your
life, as in totally sarcastic. He's like, well,
you screwed me over. I hope you at least enjoyed
it. That's kind of what the message was. I hope
the worst shit happens to you for the rest of
your life. Also by Green Day, Wake Me When September
Ends. I have no idea. It's about Billy Joe Armstrong's
dad dying. Oh. Yeah. During September? I guess
so. Okay. Pontiac by Lyle Lovett. I have no idea.
Yeah, Lyle Lovett was mostly famous for being
married to Julia Roberts briefly. Yep. And it
was briefly. Everyone called her Beauty and the
Beast. Oh, I know. I know. I mean, Lyle Lovett
is not an attractive man by most people's standards.
But he's... Great musician. Probably had a huge
penis, don't you think? Yeah, could have been.
Yeah, that's what Julia Roberts was going after.
The song Pontiac is about an old man contemplating
killing his wife. Wow. And it became a hit. We
are fucked up people, aren't we? And here's the
Beach Boys one I promised you. In My Room by
the Beach Boys is about masturbating. It really
is. I believe it. How funny. Possum Kingdom by
the Toadies. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's about
a guy wanting to kill the girl that won't go
out on a date with him. He keeps asking her out,
and she says no, so now he wants to kill her.
Yeah, okay, I get it. Yeah, it's creepy. I always
knew the song was nefarious. I did not know how.
Possum Kingdom is a lake in Texas. That's the
name of the lake. Oh, okay. So that's what they're
referring to. He's talking about a lake in the
song. possum kingdom oh yeah and he goes do you
want to die do you want to die yeah and then
he screams do you want to die i think that's
when he actually does it that could be yeah i
go back to the turning their face around and
going you know why this is happening don't you
you gotta oh you gotta say that calmly though
you don't say it angrily you go you know why
this is happening don't you i have to do this
yes yeah i do okay okay today By the Smashing
Pumpkins? Yeah. Today is the greatest day. Yeah.
Billy Corgan wrote that when he was very, very
seriously thinking about killing himself, but
decided, no, I guess I'm not. I'm just going
to keep going. Not today. That's cool. And so,
you know, that day became the greatest day. It
became the best day. Absolutely. Yeah, that's
absolutely correct. Yeah, it's basically turning
the corner away from suicide. I love that song.
It's great. I wish they would promote. Maybe
they do. I don't know. And when you know that,
the video makes even more sense now. Because
he looks just so joyous and happy and free and
just like, yeah, whatever, man. No problem. Wow.
Yeah. Okay. I shot the sheriff. by Bob Marley,
later covered by Eric Clapton. Yeah. It's a protest
against birth control. Bob Marley was violently
and horribly opposed to birth control of any
means. Really? Yeah. Bob Marley hated contraception.
So he wrote I Shot the Sheriff as a protest against
women using birth control. Okay. Wow. Isn't that
weird? I'm going to have to listen to the lyrics
again by then. I kind of maybe see where they're
going, but I don't know. Yeah. Anyway, according
to Bob Marley, that's why he wrote it. And then
Horse with No Name by America, also about heroin
addiction. I knew it was about something, I just
didn't know what. Can you put it on pause? I
really got to urinate. All right. All right,
there was my 30th piss today. I think I'm caught
up. Yeah, I think so. I think so. Hang on, let
me look at the graph. So when somebody says I've
got to take a pee, I'll say, don't take one of
mine, man, because I've only got four left and
they've got to last all week. Okay, on the graph,
I'm right where I should be. Okay. All right,
we're good. All right. Hey, did you check yours?
I think I'm behind a little bit. Oh, are you?
Yeah. Okay. I'll pee twice when I get home. Oh,
there we go. All right. I'm sure the urologists
listening have gotten a great thrill from that.
Oh, they're going to send us like flyers. Got
to pee all the time? Frequent urination. Frequent
urination. That's the tagline. Yes. Do you suffer
from frequent urination? The dreaded FU. It's
like ED has become a whole other life. Don't
call me Ed, man. So it's like, did you get the
FU? Oh, yeah, all the time, especially in the
morning. It's just like one of our promos, annoying
as a 3 a .m. piss boner. Oh, yeah. Oh, those
are the ones. Oh, God. A friend of mine told
me of one of his experiences with Viagra. He
needed to use it because he had gotten meningitis,
which really kind of killed his erection. Okay.
But Viagra still worked. They said he used it
one night, and then the next morning he got up
to come to work, and he still has an erection,
and he's got to pee so bad. And he's like, I
couldn't bend it down far enough to make it in
the toilet, so I go stand in the shower and pee.
Whoops. He's like, I can't aim this thing. Well,
did he go to work? Yes, he did. He said it relaxed
in the shower. And it's like, well, thank God,
but please don't tell me about this next time.
That is one of those stories. That's like everyone's
drinking and playing courts. Hang on, hang on,
hang on. I got one for you. Hang on. Well, I've
got a list of bands who've had members who were
in a relationship. Oh, okay. First up is Fleetwood
Mac, Stevie Nicks and Lindsey Buckingham, and
Christine McVie and John McVie, and then eventually
Stevie Nicks and Mick Fleetwood, all of which
broke up. And all of them broke up, too. The
White Stripes, Jack and Meg, were married. They
pretended to be brother and sister for a while
for some stupid reason. And then they were the
Gray Stripes. They got older. In the band Wings,
Paul McCartney and Linda McCartney were married.
Oh, yeah. She was keyboards and backing vocals.
Now, she could play keyboards okay. Her backing
vocals, they just muted. She was so mad at Paul
McCartney, she died. No, I'm joking. Not bad.
Too soon. Okay. The band ABBA, Benny Anderson
and Annefrid Lingsdot. I can never write their
name backwards. I know. It's just, it didn't
work. It didn't work. I didn't know they were.
That's interesting. And they're a band that sticks
to their guns. They have been offered so much
money and they will not get back together. They're
like, yeah, we're done. They're not money oriented
on like that. They got enough and they're good.
Talking Heads and the Tom Tom Club. Both had
drummer, bass player, married couple Chris France
on drums and Tina Weymouth on bass. Both Talking
Heads and... When Talking Heads got together,
Tina was not the bass player. But since she was
Chris's girlfriend, she hung around, did things
for the band, helped drive them to places, helped
set up. And then when the bass player vacancy
came open, they're like, yeah, Tina here. Here
she go. Here we all know her. She stepped right
in. Okay, didn't know. Yeah. Turn the mic gain
back up again. Oh yeah, that would help. That
would help. A little technical error there. A
glitch happened, so we're going to repeat some
stuff here. Sonic Youth, Kim Gordon, and Thurston
Moore were a couple who divorced right before
a tour, which made for a really freaking miserable
tour. Oh, yeah. I covered that on a previous
Music Creeps episode. Basically, it was a rainstorm
followed their tour around for about six, seven
dates and just made for a totally depressing
time. Isn't that funny? Well, if you're not them.
Yeah, if you're not them. Prince of the Revolution,
Wendy and Lisa were a couple. In fact, I think
they got married. I think Minnesota was one of
the early states to legalize same -sex marriage.
I think you're right, yeah. So, that was kind
of cool. She was also on the song, Mommy, do
you think they're going to drop the bomb? I think
she's the one that says that. Could be. In the
album on this band, No Doubt. Gwen Stefani and
bass player Tony Canal were a couple. And when
they broke up, they had that whole album, Tragic
Kingdom, which was all about their breakup. See,
I knew that Don't Speak was about it, but I didn't
know the whole album was about it. Yeah, well,
most of the album was. And there was a song where
she sings, I always knew you'd be my ex -boyfriend.
And in the video, she's singing it right into
his face. I kind of look at that like, well,
when you start a song off like that, and that's
about it, I mean, don't you already know? Yeah,
I would think, yeah. In the band Blondie, Debbie
Harry and Chris Stein, the guitarist and founder
of the band, co -founder, were a couple. And
Pat Benatar, like I said. Yeah, Neil Giraldo,
the guitar player. That's lasted forever. Yeah.
Yeah, I know. They're still together. Ike and
Tina Turner were married until Tina decided that
he had hit her one too many times. And we're
both still laughing about that because she's
done very well and he's burning in hell currently.
Yeah, yeah. He had heroin addiction back then.
Oh, he was a piece of shit. Oh, he was. I don't
know if he ever kicked it, but I'm sure that
shortened his life. Yeah, and you know what?
Who cares? Yeah, really. Good riddance. In the
band Fugees, Wyclef Jean and Lauryn Hill were
a couple. I believe married, I'm not sure. That
caught me off guard. I didn't think so. Do I
know what you said? I think they were married,
but I'm not sure. Either way, even if there were
a couple, that surprises me. I've never heard
anything about that at all. No, that's interesting.
Suzy Sue in the band Cheese. Suzy Sue was...
I think married to the former drummer of the
Slits. His name was Budgie Slits. You know Sioux
City, Iowa is named after her. Yeah, that's true.
Yeah. Yeah, and Sioux Falls, South Dakota. Yeah,
Google it. Okay. Good old punk band, The Cramps.
Oh, yeah. Poison Ivy. Another great name. Yeah,
Poison Ivy and Lux Interior were a couple. Oh,
boy, let's see. Poison Ivy and Lux Interior.
They didn't work out for real. Yeah. Who would
have thought? That is so weird. In a punk band,
you'd think it'd be all about love and connection.
Yeah, you know, I thought they had some very
tender moments. Speaking of tender moments. Okay.
In the Mamas and the Papas, we had John Phillips
and Michelle Phillips were married. Yeah, their
mother and daughter, or son, father and daughter.
Yes. Oh, wait, wait a minute. As you pointed
out, that was a one -night stand. We can't count
that. John Phillips showed everybody what a truly
repulsive scumbag he was. And we still listen
to his music for some reason. They still play
it on the radio, which surprised me. Isn't that
funny? He got his daughter drugged. He got her
addicted. He raped her. Didn't he give her to
Mick Jagger, too? Yeah. He passed her around
for other people to rape. And he wasn't canceled.
I don't get that at all. I'm not sure. And he's
a white man. Would you make it super easy to
cancel? I know why. Why? All this was alleged.
Because this happened, all this came out after
he passed away. That's right. So people were
like going, well, we don't know if it really
happened. Why did you wait till now? So that
gives them the legal excuse to say, no, we'll
keep Meek Money off of this. Yes, and trauma
is a weird thing. Trauma is a very strange thing.
You cannot tell a person how they're going to
react. Yeah, that's true. And that would be traumatic.
That would be. Bruce Springsteen, the boss. Yep.
Fell in love with one of the backup singers,
Patty Schiaffa, and they've been married for
a long, long time. I thought it was Babble Snatch.
Yeah, Patty Babble Snatch. There we go. Patty
Babble Snatch. That's in the Who Cares file?
Yes. Oh, okay. Band of Joy, Robert Plant and
Patty Griffin. were a couple. Yep. And that's
probably why the Band of Joy was created, so
they could be together. Like we said, she is
also featured on Pictures at Eleven, Robert Plant's
first solo debut. Yeah. And I forgot, I can't
remember the name of the second one. She wasn't
featured on the... Was it Big Log? Big Log was,
yeah, that was the hit off of it. Yeah. I don't
know if that was the album title or not. I don't
think it was. She was on that one, but she wasn't
on the follow -up, the one with Lighten Up Baby.
Yeah, Manic Nirvana. Manic Nirvana, yeah. She
was not on that for some reason. But anyhow.
Smashing Pumpkins. James E. Haw, guitar player,
and Darcy Redsky, the bass player, were a couple.
We both thought James E. Haw was gay. Yeah. Okay.
I guess not. Now, there has long been a rumor
that, at least on the first Smashing Pumpkins
album, that was Billy Corgan playing everything.
Yeah, that's been going around a long time. Yeah,
and then he hired a band so he could go play
live. He's really coy about that, too. He is,
yeah. He gives a lot of non -answers. Which means
there's something to it. There's something to
it, yeah. But it would probably cost him money
if he admitted it. Yeah, so, never happened.
Okay, Culture Club. Boy George and the drummer
John Moss. were quite an item, although he denied
it at the time, and in fact came out publicly
and said, I'm not even dead. Which made George
pursue him even harder, which broke up the band.
Got tired of him humping his leg and fucking
quit. Now, I remember that in Billy Squire, it
was a very strong rumor that he and the drummer
there were having sex. I remember hearing that
way back then before I even knew that he was
buying. And when I heard their songs, I thought,
well, that would be the only reason to keep that
drummer because he sucks. He did. He was awful.
He was like, okay, okay, okay. I know you're
going to fire me, but can we work something out?
I kind of had this in mind. Sure. All right,
Jefferson Airplane, Grace Lick and Paul Kantner.
They weren't chasing white rabbits. No, no. And
at the time. I was, when I got one of those early
albums, and I saw the picture of Paul Kantner,
and he's wearing glasses, and I thought, all
right, a guy with glasses can get a hot chick,
you know, because I was wearing glasses. And
he kind of had a Buster Brown haircut, too, which
made it even hotter. Yeah, but then he grew his
facial hair out, and he started his big sideburns,
and he looked cooler. They kind of look, I don't
know, fucking Nordic, maybe. I don't know. And
he played a meat and guitar. Yep. And then the
last one I had is a 60s band, Delaney and Bonnie,
that most people don't know about. I mentioned
Sonny and Cher, so I thought I'd throw Delaney
and Bonnie in there too. I'd love to ask that
young guy over there walking into the restaurant
who Guns N' Roses is. What, their band? It's
just what I like to collect. This was what was
at Macy's. Why? It was on sale for some reason.
Oh, I know why. Yeah, I've seen the memes about
young guys gatekeeping bands. It's like, man,
you can't wear their t -shirt unless you can
name three of their songs. You know what? No,
no, no. Non -hits. Yes. I always add non -hits.
Yeah. So, like, if they're wearing Nirvana, they
cannot name Teen Spirit. Yeah. They have to name,
like, Something in the Way. Yeah. Yeah. Something
Off the Roadside, too. Yeah. Yeah. The songs
that nobody even knows they've performed. But
realistically, the band is perfectly happy to
sell a t -shirt or a sweatshirt to somebody who
doesn't know their music. The band doesn't care,
so why shouldn't we? But I'm yet to see Metallica
and ACDC kids right next to each other. You got
it, didn't you? Yeah. That would be Beavis and
Butthead. That would be. Look it up. Google it.
Yeah. Actually, someone brought him back. Was
it Paramount started doing new episodes of it?
Yeah, I think Mike decided to revive it. Yeah,
and then it's warped. I mean, I know the first
one was warped. This one's warped even more.
I love it. And that was all off of Mr. Anderson.
Mr. Anderson went into King of the Hill. That
was Hank Hill's character. Yeah. Mr. Anderson
was the guy that always caught the wrath of whatever
Beavis and Butthead were doing. Yeah, they were
always out in Mr. Anderson's tool shed. You boys
out there beating off again? You know, something
about that at the time was funny enough that
I watched a bunch of them. Oh, me too. Because
it's like, they can do this? They can do this?
I know it's cable. Look it up. The cable. I know
it's cable. I know it's cable, but they could
do this on air. Who knew? Google it. Cable TV.
Google it. All right. Is that the end of this?
I think so. I think we're about ready to tell
people to go find something better to do. Very
sincerely, thank you guys for listening. Go fuck
yourself.