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douchebags and a microphone. To radiation. Watch
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mouth. Rob can now be rented for children's parties
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rent you a Rob today. That's right. Come by and
rent Rob for a day. A day. A day. Watch Rob consume
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and he doesn't give one hell of a shit about
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Read a Rob today. Our constant pursuit for a
real knee slapper. It's strange insults from
an alien. Real hilarity. I wish you good. My
mom told me to not burn trash. Please. Why Whataburger,
you say? Well, because what a deep -fried crispy
chicken nugget just didn't have the right ring.
Two dish bags, a microphone, and an effort to
keep everything fresh. We offer you... First
world problems. Man, my internet is so slow.
This is bullshit. How am I supposed to browse
or get on TikTok with slow internet? I'm so pissed
off right now. I don't know what to do. Hey,
look. I think we found land. Oh, my God. I think
we're safe. Oh, no. It's an island of horrible
jokes. What did the zero say to the eight? That
belt looks good on you. Mmm. Two douchebags and
a microphone. My name is Mark, and I'm in Kansas
City. And I am Rob, and I am in beautiful Lake
of the Ozarks. Yes, it is. And go make a trek
down there here before too much longer. you know
getting antsy i mean i know the cruise is coming
up in a month but i'm talking about like maybe
right after the cruise a couple weeks after um
going down there and uh and then maybe heading
to eureka springs or something but you know last
last year when we went down there accidentally
because uh you know we're going to go to that
show to glenn hughes and starship and all that
it was uh um those aren't music festival in sedalia
and it rained like hell the night before so it
was canceled so we kind of inadvertently uh we
were looking for Val's old lake house, and then
we ended up, it got too dark to go back on those
roads back to Sedalia, so we found that place
there, the resort at Lake of the Ozarks that
was just fucking excellent. Well, ever since
then, I've been thinking about the lake, and
man, I haven't been to Lake of the Ozarks except
for that night in a long, long time. So, I think
we're about due to spend a few days there. So,
anyhow. So anyhow, I've got this little thing
here. Back in 2018, and this is an annoyance
thing, and I want to get your input on this,
Rob, on several parts of it, and I'll let you
know, okay? Back in 2018, I was trying to go
see Gene Simmons' band. He was touring while
the End of the Road tour was taking a break.
I really wanted to see the show. Gene had promised...
you know, that he's going to play some songs
that you've never heard live before from Kiss
Tunes and some solo tunes with some cover songs
mixed in. So I go to, it sounded great. Doesn't
it sound great? You know, and it's going to be
a small venue and it's Gene Simmons and his band
is really good. He's got a really good band that
backs him up. So I'm like, man, that sounds like
a lot of fun, you know, and it won't be nearly
as expensive as a Kiss concert because you don't
have $2 billion worth of pyro and all that stuff.
So I'm like, all right, I'm in. So, anyhow, I
go to jeansimmons .com. I think it's still that,
but I don't know. And I purchased a ticket for
Tulsa. So, anyhow, I take the day off work. It's
a four -and -a -half -hour drive from here. I
get a hotel room. I buy it. A week before the
concert, I look up the address at a venue, and
I noticed it's not on the website anymore. So,
anyhow, I called down, and sure enough, the show
was canceled. So, I took a day off work and wasted
money on a hotel room I never got to use. Number
one, that pisses you off. So, Rob, don't you
think that's bullshit? Anyhow, so you'd been
upset too, right? Yeah, I would have. Yeah, okay.
And also, because they didn't give a defining
reason. You see what I'm saying? Like maybe the
sales weren't good enough. So, I'll go into a
little bit more of that a little bit later. But
you know what? I've been a huge fan of Kiss and
Gene Simmons for a long time, but I haven't been
in the last 10 years, just like Nikki Sixx. I
can't stand him now. I think he's a fake piece
of crap. So, you know, my opinion, and I think
Gene Simmons is no better. I think they're both
fake pieces of shit to me. It's my opinion. So,
anyhow, so then I have an advertisement on my
phone about Gene Simmons Band doing a charity
benefit in Omaha for Warren Buffett. Warren Buffett
has all these charities, right? And so I'm like,
hey, okay, so you know how your phone listens
to you, right? So I'm like, cool. Omaha's just
three and a half hours, three hours really from
here. So, all right, because I would be leaving
from the city from my old job. It'd be about
three hours away. So I'm like, hell yeah. So
once I get off work, I could head up there and
be there in plenty of time for the show. So anyhow,
I see it's at the Ballet Hall in downtown Omaha,
which is beautiful. I saw the pictures of it
and was excited to go see a show there. So it
took me a while to find the tickets on a secondary
market, but I found them, okay? Because there
is a very small venue and it was a charity. There's
only going to be a couple hundred tickets, right?
There's not that many tickets and the ballet
hall is not that large in Omaha. So I'm like,
man, how fucking cool, you know? You get to see
this legend that you grew up with that close.
Okay, and it's like, cool, cooler than shit,
man. That sounds great, and I love Omaha. You've
lived in Omaha for a while, too, right? I thought,
you stayed up there? I worked one night, stayed
one night up there. Oh, yeah, yeah, there was
a bunch of tornadoes or something? Yeah, a bunch
of tornadoes. I had a toolbox stolen off the
back of my truck. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's
it. Okay, you know what, I'll shut up about Omaha.
Okay. All right. Well, anyhow, you know, so I
was excited. It's a great haul because my old
company, we did a lot of work that we put in
there, the glass and this. in the Stainless Post,
and it's beautiful work, okay, and I saw pictures
of it, and I was excited to go take a look at
it up close, and you know, 200 people, and there's
Gene Simmons, so like I said, it took me forever,
I find the tickets on a secondary market, I paid
a little bit more for them than I really, but
I really wanted to see it, and I want to see
the venue, so I'm like, you know what, this is
probably a once in a lifetime deal, you know,
to see him in that small of a venue. And it's
for a charity, and it's a special one -off for
Warren Buffett, his good friend. So this time
I wait a week before to make sure the show is
going on as planned. Then I book a nice room
at the Hyatt Place, an old orchard area of downtown
Omaha, which I love that area. I get there the
day of the show. And this is right after work.
I check into my room, and I go get some food,
and then I keep my car at the hotel, and I Uber
to the venue. It's only five minutes away, right?
So I make sure the venue's where I thought it
was because I didn't see any lines in front of
the hall or on the sides, right? You know how
there's a concert? Even a couple hundred people,
you'd see signs of life, right? You'd see a couple
people straggling somewhere, and I'm like, hmm.
this does not look good so anyhow um and i get
to the ticket booth and the lady was unaware
of the show so the show wasn't there so uh she
called the manager to check on it the show was
canceled a couple weeks after it was confirmed
so she didn't get any info of the show at all
so uh so anyhow so like uh this is really really
fucking irritating now because you know this
is too Two of them that just got canceled for
no, you know, probably lack of sales, I'd imagine.
So the manager knew about it. They both apologized
several times, and the ticket lady felt so bad
for me, I told her I'd go for three and a half
hours right after work to see that show that
didn't exist. She let me attend the yearly private
party. The hall had further venues up on the
rooftop lounge, okay? So that was cooler than
shit. It was really cooler for her to do that
because she could understand how disappointed
and upset I was, right? Three and a half hours,
the ticket that I bought, the gas, the money
for the hotel room, everything. But it turned
out to be a nice little getaway because I got
to go get a free buffet and a couple free beers
and mixed drinks on the rooftop. And the vendors,
they didn't know who I was. They didn't know
that I wasn't a vendor, right? They did this
for their vendors every year. So they just thought
I was another vendor. So there wasn't anyone
there going, hey, who's this guy? You know, and
nor did anyone come up to me and go, hey, who
are you from? You know, like, I'm from the Cisco
brothers or something like, you know. I didn't
have to make up any bullshit either, right? I
wasn't really talking to anybody or nothing,
but I was having a good time. I'm sitting there
looking off the rooftop, looking at the skyscrapers,
looking down in the park next to it, and I'm
slamming some drinks and eating some good food.
So it turned out to be pretty cool. And the buffet
was really good. So, you know, it was very cool
that they did that. And they really saved the
night doing that because, man, I was pretty bummed
out and pissed. So anyhow, I drove all the way
there, bought a hotel, you know, and all that.
So they really, you know, they took care of me.
So anyhow, I had fun, you know. But the thing
is, on the other hand, I'm out all this money
that I didn't have to be out in time, too, because
Tulsa, I took a day off. And yeah, I got my money
back and the tickets and everything. But still,
I bought a hotel room and I took the day off
work for nothing because it didn't exist. And
I'm glad I had to look up the address of the
venue because in Tulsa, I would have done that
too. I drove all the way down there, four and
a half hours for nothing. So anyhow, so I actually,
you know, had fun when I got back to the hotel.
Yeah, I go down to buy a beer from the bar, right?
And I'm a little lit, right? So, I run to my
room real quickly to put my phone on the charger.
Because after the rooftop bar, I went to a restaurant
right next door. And I had a couple more drinks.
Because, you know, I'm trying to settle down,
right? You know what I mean? You're like, fuck.
I'm going to make fun of this evening no matter
what. So, I'm slamming some drinks. So, I order
one from the bar. And I'm a little lit. Okay,
she's going to go get my beer. So, anyhow, I
run to my room real quickly. And I got my beer
first, okay? And anyhow, I put my phone on the
charger. I run back downstairs to the bar, and
they closed it up. And this wasn't that long,
man. I mean, I had to get it out of my suitcase
or my bag and everything and put it. So it was
probably 10 minutes at the most. So anyhow, I
get down there, and they close the bar up. And,
yeah, I was a little lit. So I go to the front
desk. I tell them to open the bar back up. But
he asked if I was going to pay for the beer with
a card on file. I said yes. He told me to look
in my wallet. I'm like, okay, all right, smartass.
I look in my wallet. He goes, is there a card
there? Well, it was, Rob. And then he informed
me. He said that they always use the room number
card on file to purchase drinks. That way they
could throw a little gratuity in to help the
staff out, okay? So they take it out of your
card. And I didn't mind this. And they take 18
% out or whatever, you know, for the staff. Because
I guess a lot of people stiff them in that type
of industry, the hotel industry. People don't
think about it. So, you know, I was drunk and
I thought I gave her my card, but I didn't, you
know. So anyhow, so he's like, oh, yeah, yeah,
we already took it off there. It's fine. Everything's
good. You're good. You got your card. All right.
So, you know, next morning I go back up in my
room. I'm like, OK, well, that was a little embarrassing.
But, you know, it's still I don't care that much.
So next morning. I go to a couple of retro places
in the Old Market area. Not Old Orchard. Old
Market. How come I always call it Old Orchard
area? The Old Market area. I don't know either.
They had a couple of cool -ass vinyl stores,
too, that I lost a couple hours in. So then,
you know, I realize it's getting kind of late.
It's probably getting about 1 o 'clock. I'm like,
you know, I need to get back to KC. I got some
shit I got to do. So, anyhow, I go home and I...
And I start calling around to get a refund. And
it took me about half a day. But I finally got
someone that could do that. But I'm just pissed
to hell at Gene Simmons. My opinion, he is the
dickhead that cancels his shows because they
don't sell enough tickets. My opinion also is,
he is such a greedy asshole that he refuses to
do anything unless he gets a certain premium
for the effort. You know... And this is all my
opinion. I thought by reading his interviews,
he was doing the solo stuff for the love of it.
I guess not. You know, he was talking about,
I was looking at his Instagram, you know, and
I see that he posted a bunch of new shows, right?
So, anyhow, I get right on his Instagram right
after he posts them. It's just dumb luck. And
anyhow, I tell him about my, you know, I say,
hey, thanks for dicking me over, you know. And
this is what happened to me. I gave him my whole
story, right? And he fucking blocks me. So anyhow,
my buddy Brian Mark, he's a musician too. And
anyhow, he's doing really well also. But anyhow,
my buddy Brian Mark, who's a musician, he sends
me a message right after laughing because he
saw it happen in real time. Brian was going on,
you know, he was going to go with me, but he
couldn't because he couldn't get the evening
off to the Gene Simmons show. And he's just going
to buy a ticket there, hopefully. And anyhow,
so he's laughing his ass off because he sees
me fucking mouth off to him right off the bat
as soon as Gene Simmons puts it down. And the
next thing I know, I don't see anything from
him. So he blocked me. So I'm like, all right,
you little bitch. So anyhow, so Brian gave me
the message right after that. And it's pretty
cool. So this all came about because I just saw
that Gene Simmons about two weeks ago announced
a summer tour, right? A summer American tour.
So, anyhow, he canceled most of the dates on
it already. And only like maybe four or five
dates remain. So, anyhow. Yeah, I know. That's
what I'm saying, too. Fuck him. You know, go
get another fucking donut, you fucking fat ass.
I mean, I swear, man, he's a fucking idiot. To
me, all this, you know, my opinion. Gene is a
bitch. I also encourage everyone who isn't blocked
on his Instagram X or whatever to please keep
asking what he does to keep in great shape. That
ought to do him pretty good. You know, him and
his fucking ego. So, anyhow, yeah, you know,
what it is is he acts like, you know, he was
talking about this tour and going, oh, hey, you
ought to come to this tour, man. You never know,
you might. end up on stage with us. We've been
known to take people up and have a little fun
with them. You know, when he won't fucking talk
to people, anyhow, he's always got something
snide to say, the way it sounds. He's arrogant.
He talks down to people. He's going to invite
people on stage and let them have a little fun.
No. He's trying to sell tickets, and in my opinion,
he didn't sell enough tickets, and just like
the shows I tried to go to, he just cancels them,
and he doesn't give one ounce of shit about you.
in my opinion. And anyhow, this came about, all
this stuff came about because I just saw where
he had like 25 shows on the bill, right? And
you, anybody can look this up, see the show and
then look up the summer tour that he canceled.
And I mean, he only has like maybe five or six
shows left on there that he didn't cancel. So
anyhow, and he didn't give a reason again, which
would tell me like, you know, if he was having
fucking toenail surgery. he'd put it down, right?
He'd go, I'm having surgery, guys. I can't do
it. It's a medical thing. But instead, he gives
no reason, right? So what do you think no reason
is, Rob? What would you think? All that money.
Yeah. Didn't sell enough. Yeah. So I think that
he's... I haven't looked, but I almost bet the
venues that he's still playing are bigger venues.
Bingo, Rob. They are. Yeah. I'm just guessing.
No, no, no. No, you're right. I looked it up.
So the smaller venues, he found out that he didn't
sell all the tickets. That's my opinion again.
I have no proof of this. This is what I think.
And he was like, oh, okay, well, fuck that. I'm
not going to go play for those guys unless I
get a little bit more money than that. And then
they're going to play again. Did you know that?
Kiss. Kiss is going to play again. At their 50th
anniversary, they're going to play again. So,
once again, What was that end of the road tour
stuff? This is how Motley began. This is how
Motley did it, too, remember? Motley Crue's like,
that's it. No more. We're signing this contract.
It's over. It's done. And Nicky's going on this
big spiel. Well, we don't want to be one of those
bands that rots on the vine. You know, you get
old. You know, you're fucking ball stag. You
got a belly. You know, you got a bald spot. Just
don't look right rocking up there being fucking
80. Okay, so. Well, we're going to do this. The
next time you see us, we'll be avatars. Yes.
Yeah. I guess not. I guess they're coming before
the avatar, aren't they? Yeah. But Nicky's going
on this big tangent about people sticking around
the game too long and all that shit, right? Well,
it started like this. Kiss doing a one -off show.
Motley Crue started off doing a one -off show.
I forgot what it was for, but they're like, yeah,
yeah, we're going to do a one -off show. No tour,
like we said. And next thing you know, that went
over so well. Oh, we're going to do a couple
of festivals. Next thing you know. Well, we're
going to go ahead and have another tour. And
then now, they got their hand out looking for
any gig they can that's big enough to go make
a pile of fucking cash. And this means that all
the people that ran out there to see them the
one last time, once again, when they get a big
fucking middle finger right in your face saying,
you guys are so fucking stupid, you're going
to do it every time. And you know what? They're
right. Joe fucking fan out there, he will follow
these people and fucking believe them, and they
know it. And anyhow, it pisses me off to no end.
And this is why, remember how I was talking about
how I was going to swear off all these concerts
because I'm getting tired of getting fucked over
and dicked around by them? Because it's an alleged
concert that only happens if the circumstances
are right for them, not you. So you can buy this
ticket ahead of time. They can keep your money
for a year. You can go and you can go rent a
hotel room somewhere else because those concerts
don't come by Kansas City. They go to smaller
venues like in Wichita, Tulsa, Springfield, Missouri,
stuff like that, right? Up here, there's too
much competition. You've got T -Mobile, Uptown,
all that stuff. So all those concerts go there.
And then if the things aren't exactly right,
They just canceled the fucking show. And then
people like me that was going to travel four
and a half hours to see them, and in one case,
me and Davey flew to Nashville, but that show
did go off, The Dead Daisies with Glenn Hughes
and everybody. But that show did go off, and
it was a success, except for Davey almost running
to a train on his fucking scooter drunk. Other
than that, it went well. Other than that, it
went pretty well. But I wish I had video. But
I was too afraid. I'm like, oh, fuck, man. I
took my buddy down here. I took my best buddy
down here. And now he's going to fucking die
because he's too drunk. Somehow he stopped that
scooter right before the train. But I'm getting
off on something else now. I was too fucking
freaked out thinking he was going to die. I was
going to watch my friend get fucking ripped in
half by a freight train. But I wished I would
have thought enough to put some video, man. Fucking
idiot. I love him. He's awesome. I'm an idiot,
too. Sorry, Davey. Sorry, Davey. Davey, I'm an
idiot, too. We all are. We know this. It's common
knowledge. So, anyhow, that's my opening rant,
I guess. So, Rob, we turn it to you after all
that negativity. Please turn it around. Okay,
do you remember who Minnesota Governor Tim Walz
is? Yeah, yeah, he ran under Harris as the vice
president. Yeah, Kamala Harris, yeah, in the
last election. Yep. Well, after Minnesota Governor
Tim Walz said he believes he could kick most
of Trump supporters' ass, one of them has stepped
up to the plate, and he is automatically the
heavy favorite. WWE legend Kane stands seven
feet tall and wrestled at over 300 pounds during
his illustrious career and challenged Walls to
a charity wrestling match. Kane, whose real name
is Glenn Jacobs, now the mayor of Knox County
in Tennessee, issued a challenge to Walls on
Thursday. All looking aside, Governor Tim Walls,
Let's put our money where our mouth is, in a
charity wrestling match. We'll split the gate
50 -50 between our chosen organizations. I'll
kick things off myself with a $10 ,000 donation.
What do you say? Oh, so how did Tim answer that?
Okay, well, he hasn't answered, but this is what
fired it off. Wallace, who was former Vice President
Kamala Harris' running mate this past election
cycle, made his bold claim on a recent episode
of California Governor Gavin Newsom's podcast.
I think I could kick most of their asses. I know
I can outrun them. I don't know if we're going
to fall into that place where we okay. We challenge
you to, you know, AWWH by here. I love that.
I got a question, Rob, okay? I'm not for or against
or saying anything like that, but I want to know
this. Okay. These people are liberals, right?
Right. What are they doing going around talking
violence? Exactly. Yeah. Hypocrite, maybe? I'm
not saying all liberals are hypocrites or nothing
like that. What I'm saying is, if you're going
to go by the peaceful route and swear by it and
say this, fucking stick to it. If not, shut up.
You know, Tim, get to what you know in there.
Don't fucking put tampons in. Anyhow, fuck him.
You know what? I know you like him. Do what?
It was in the news that Kane and The Undertaker
both backed... Trump during the election. So
why would you run your mouth like that? I'll
tell you why. It's because he's trying to make
a stance because he's going to try to run for
president next time around. And he's puffing
his little bitty fat bird chest out thinking
he's fucking making some waves and all he's doing
is getting ridiculed. If I heard that and I was
there, I'd go and look, I'm not saying I'm a
Trump fan. I'm not. I would be the first one
to go, hey, come over here and take me. Come
on, bitch. Come on. You can fucking preach. Let's
see you do it. Exactly. And the second thing
is this hypocrisy is bullshit. If you really
believe what you say, you will not want to fight
anybody. You're going to try to talk to them.
You're going to try to hug them. You're going
to try to see eye to eye with some things. You're
going to try to make some common ground. You're
not going to go off the fucking everything. Oh,
I can beat any of their asses because everybody
knows, number one, that's not true. Number two,
you're just making this big grand thing that
isn't there. So, you know, Tim, shut up. Anyhow.
Thank you, Rob. That was a pretty good story.
I like it a lot. Yeah, I like how Kane just stepped
right up. Yeah, I love that. I fucking love that.
Go ahead. Go ahead, let's see if you kick my
ass. Hey, hey, Tim, Mr. Waltz, go get him. Kane
is right there. I want to see you. I want to
see you do this. If not, I don't ever want to
hear from you again. You fucking do it, and you
do what you said. Otherwise, you are a liar.
Liar! So, all right, I'm amped up tonight. All
right. I can tell. Yeah, well, you know, I was
reading some stuff. And look, I'm not patting
myself on the back, but I'm saying this. All
right, you and I both decided, right, that this
type of stuff is what we want to do because there's
a need for it, right? Right. Okay. Well, I was
reading Mancow's Instagram, and he's talking
about bringing back The Madhouse, the show that
would be more like this, not the political stuff.
He's getting with some of his old crew, and he's
going to discuss it in August. I think we were
ahead of the grid. I think we were ahead of everything
again because I seen it coming. And I thought
this always would be what would be in style because
both sides are fucking fighting each other and
everyone's getting tired of hearing it. At some
point you want a dick joke. You want stupidity.
That was it. That was a political comical joke.
Yeah. Yeah, and here's the deal. I hope he brings
Madhouse back, man. I think the more, the better
off we are. And, yeah, he's going to make us
look like amateurs. Well, I guess we are, aren't
we? Yeah. He's been in the business of it all.
And he's been doing it a long time, and he's
fucking brilliant. So, all right, let's take
a break. And I've got some emails again. All
right. And some good ones again. Oh, shit. I
did not get my top seven guitarists. Did you?
I did. We can hold off till Tuesday. Let's hold
off till Tuesday. Fuck. Okay. All right. I'll
be right back. We'll be right back. Yeah, sorry,
Ronnie. I did it. I dropped the ball. Be right
back. Jam X. What the hell happened? You were
the generation of change. You never wanted to
be one of them. Apathy spoke for you. Muck the
man. Muck the system. What the hell happened?
The generation of angst? The generation of noncompliance?
Is now buying a boat? You're really fed up to
kill someone who dangled a dollar near you? Great
job, Xers. Everything's ruined. Hey, you pilgrims.
This is Mark from Two Douchebags and Microphone.
And this is the Two Douchebags and Microphone
thought of the day. Hey, good kid. No one gives
an ounce of shit what you had for breakfast.
Not even the person on the other end. You look
like a mentally slow driv yelling into thin air
all through the store. I pray that Bluetooth
shorts you out and blows up your eardrums. What
men consider self -centered dunce. Monty constantly
coddled this dummy and it fucking shows. Go look
back home and bore your dog. Wait, you probably
forgot the theming because you're too busy looking
in the mirror all day. Fuck off. Hey, everybody,
this is Uncle Rob. I'm going to give you some
tips for life. This is Uncle Rob's rules to dick
pics. Rule number one, title of a pic in someone
else's name. So if you get busted, it's not yours.
Rule number two, shoot angles complimentary to
your... Your length and girth. Rule number four.
No propping of the leg. Absolutely no undercarriage.
Very important. Everybody knows Mark is a fucking
idiot. But Mark would like to take this moment
to remind you. You're listening to this fucking
idiot. And now, Deep Thoughts with Mark. If I
were floating in outer space, if I was to paddle
my arms and legs, would I float faster? I may
never know. Your mom is so old, she walked out
of the museum and the alarm went off. You watched
the news. It looks grim. Is an apocalypse inevitable?
We suggest you download all our podcasts beforehand
and have multiple mobile chargers. We have the
Post Apocalypse. Okay, so you have your bunker
set. And what do you do inside this bunker to
give you the readiness if an apocalypse occurs?
Here are some products you will probably use.
Zip ties. duct tape, fishing line, a needle and
thread, matches or a lighter, scissors, safety
pins, super glue, bungee cords, parachute cord,
sugar, salt, pepper, garlic, and chicken and
beef bouillon cubes, Krusty's instant pancake
mix, Jiffy muffin mix, or Bisquick, or all the
above, powdered milk, cocoa, instant coffee,
or other dry beverage mixes, canned meats like
tuna, chicken, salmon, and sardines, canned and
dry soup, like Lipton and Knorr noodle packages,
nuts, peanut butter, jelly or honey, breakfast
bars, cereals, packaged oatmeal, low -salt crackers,
Ritz crackers, graham crackers, or animal cookies.
Canned and dry vegetable and fruit, and this
should get you started. Strange, but true. In
April 2024, 87 -year -old Joan Behan with Brooklyn.
was tragically run over by her own car after
playing in it for 20 minutes in her driveway.
Having just returned from a two -hour workout,
she stepped over with a 2013 Toyota Corolla,
but as she walked behind the car, it rolled backwards
because she hadn't put it in part. Hey there,
fuckstick. You're just in time for brand new
feature news nobody gives a shit about. New research
indicates that you can swim right after eating.
Next up, things overheard in hell. It moves everybody.
Candy corn has had a bumper crop. Everybody can
have as much as they want. Yay! I'm Mark on the
Kansas City end. And I'm Rob at beautiful Lake
of the Ozarks. That's right. It is beautiful.
The Niagara River Arm, correct? Yes. Yep. All
right. We have emails, Rob, and guess what? They're
great. Like always. I know. I wish we was half
as good as our emailers. So, all right. First
one. Mark, you cannot be a fan of Opie and Anthony.
You can't be a fan of Bob and Tom or Man Cow
or Johnny Dare. You have to pick one of them
and scream how the others suck and how they all
copied your guy. Get with it, dude. You know
the rules. P .S. Also got a chance to listen
to Bubba Clem, Bubba the Love Sponge. I had no
idea he was still doing a show. I agree with
you. It's not close to the same show, but it's
still pretty good. John in South Carolina. John,
I love that. I love that you bothered to put
this down. because all the shows were younger
guy humor, right? And that wasn't invented in
the 90s. But if you listen to every show individually,
well, Johnny Deere didn't really do it that much.
He stayed away from the war thing. But every
one of them were pointing the finger going, that
guy ripped me off, that guy ripped me off, that
guy ripped me off. Well, all those shows were
different. You know, they had their own envision
of what that was, and they did it. And they were
all good. I mean, I like some of them better
than others. But the thing is, is it was a spiel.
And this is what John in South Carolina is pointing
out. And I remember that very well because every
one of them said the other guy sucked, right?
And how bad they were. And they were a hack.
And they were on their coattails. You know, that
was the going thing. That's what you did. And
that came from Stern. Stern started that first.
He started ridiculing his opponents and making
fun of them and all that stuff. And so all that
stemmed from that. And so, John in South Carolina,
thank you. That was a great email. All right.
Mark and Rob, I also picked the walrus. It might
be weird, but it probably will let me live. That's
pretty much what we thought, wasn't it? Yeah.
Yeah, you might be weirded out because there's
an awkward walrus right next to you in a 5x5
meter cubicle, but he probably won't kill you.
Like the cobras. Yeah. And not a bunch of cockroaches
calling up and down you. So, all right. If he's
grumpy, you just leave him alone. He'll leave
you alone. Yeah, yeah. You just look the other
way, man. And I would think it couldn't last
too long. I mean, how long could they keep you
in that cubicle? You know, so. All right. All
right. He said, I would both. He said, I would
like to know both of your favorite guitarists.
Not the most talented, just your personal favorites
of all time. Top seven, please. Ronnie and Tulsa.
Tulsa King. Back at you, but we'll answer Tuesday
because I dropped the ball, like I said. Sorry.
Actually, we had a lot of emails going on, and
it was a lot of them that I had to answer because
of different questions. And anyhow, I've been
pretty busy with this. And also I have a couple
of new parody bits that we're going to demo on
the show and rate. Does that sound good? Sounds
good. We'll see how well this sounds on the podcast
is going to determine whether we do this regularly
or not. This is an experiment. But I've been
busy with these new parody bits that I've been
anxious to do. Val had to go watch one of the
grandkids a couple of nights. Oh, no, the goats
were the first night. We own a goat now. The
goats were the first night. You know, I'll get
in that next podcast. So, yeah, we're the proud
owners. I can't wait to hear that one. We're
the proud owners of a blue -eyed goat. So, his
name is Nugget, and he's a pretty neat little
guy. Okay, so, and then the next one she had
to watch Grandkids, so I had some time to do
this. So, anyhow, but doing these parody bits
take a lot of time because it's a lot of editing
and I have primitive equipment, so it took a
lot of time. So I didn't get to Ronnie's stuff,
but I will Tuesday. All right. Hey, did y 'all
know I just saw you on the front page in the
featured section on the iHeart podcast? Congratulations.
Joni and St. Cloud. We were on it. I saw it.
I don't know if we still are. I hope so. Yes.
First page. I didn't see it. Yeah. First page.
We're right there. And I caught this email not
too far after when it came through. And I went
there, and we're still on there. And then we
got another person saying it, too. So it had
to have done some good. A couple people emailing.
A lot of people seeing it then. Okay. Will you
ask Tightwad if they have a skid loader? I could
use for a couple of days. Thanks in advance.
Mitch in Knoblick. Well, Rob, this is Mitch.
Mitch just jumped a ways there. Yeah, let's see.
He is Cass County. Then he was Henry County.
Now he's wherever the hell Knoblick is. County.
Mitch, you are a traveler of the world, man.
Yeah, you are. Well, do you think that Tightwad
would have a skid loader? They'd loan him for,
you know, they get along with Knob Lick. They
didn't get along with Montrose, but they get
along with Knob Lick. Right. I'll have to ask.
I'll have to ask. Okay. Mitch, Rob will get back
with you. So, fucking asshole. I love him. The
more he writes in, the more I like him. Yeah.
All right. The next one. The podcast is going
off in different directions, but I do enjoy it.
Please keep doing different ideas. It keeps the
podcast entertaining. Lewis in Sarasota, Florida,
I'm pretty sure. I agree. I like some of the
new stuff that we're doing. I think we're getting
more fluid, and we have a better idea of where
we want to go with this, and I think it's starting
to come more natural. We're not like... you know,
scratching for traction. We're kind of like just
doing it. I mean, your, your stuff is getting
more entertaining and fluid and so is mine. And
I mean, it's actually, it's coming together.
The last few podcasts I listened to, they hold
up to about anything. I think it's good. So,
and then another one I heard had you in the spotlight
front page. Good job, Vicki Hartford. And I don't
know if that's Vicki and Hartford, Connecticut
or Vicki Hartford is her name. So anyhow. It
could be a different Hartford. Yeah, that's true.
The only Hartford I knew of was Connecticut.
Yeah, that's the first one that comes to mind.
Okay. Rob, I have a featured email, but why don't
you do, because I'm getting a little bit long
here, why don't you do a story, and then I'm
going to go back to the featured email. Does
that sound all right? All right. Sounds good.
All right. A Walgreens employee is behind bars
on assault with a deadly weapon charges in San
Francisco after he was accused of stabbing a
would -be shoplifter in the eye. In the early
hours on Wednesday, police in San Francisco say
that Larry Whitlock, 30, left the drugstore along
Castro Way without paying for his goods. Surveillance
video... Shows the worker named, I'm just going
to say Hong. It's an Oriental name. 45 chasing
him onto the street to exchange words during
a standoff. Hong goes back into the store while
Whitlock remains outside. Minutes later, Hong
returns to pair exchange words again. Whitlock.
lunges at Hong, and the staffer throws his arms
at the wretched thief, causing him to fall to
the ground holding his face. Hong appears to
kick Whitlock before going back inside the store.
In the video, Hong can be seen wearing a blue
Walgreens smock. Whitlock remains in the area,
and Hong once again comes outside. The two walked
out of the frame. It was around 20 minutes after
the original altercation when police were called
to the scene after receiving a report about a
stabbing. That particular story is over 24 hours
and the only one of its kind in the city. A home
was taken into custody and Whitlock was brought
to a nearby hospital before being charged with
battery and petty theft. His injuries have been
described as non -life threatening. Let's see
here. Hong, if found guilty on charges of assault
with a deadly weapon, can face up to four years
in prison and a fine of $10 ,000, whereas Whitlock
can face up to six months in prison and a fine
of $3 ,000. Wow. Oh, hey, Rob, real quick. I
like that story. Thank you. I've got an idea.
Whenever you or I can't pronounce a word, let's
just simply call it babblesnatch. Okay, babblesnatch.
Babblesnatch. So it'll be like a code word that
certain people know that listen to this show.
So if you can't pronounce it. Actually, home
is his last name. Oh, it is? Okay. Yeah, and
it only instead is. first name at one time and
then the rest of the story is called okay that's
not what i'm talking about uh you know there's
words that you and i uh next time we can't say
them just say babble yeah and you know people
that know know if you know you know and if you
know you're like what and that's good enough
so um all right um well i've got this featured
email and thank you rob that was a good story
Mark, you are the admitted producer and the one
constant on this podcast. I know you claim to
be a primitive, barely produced tribute to the
old style of shock radio. I would love to know.
If you did have those capabilities, let's say
a huge FM station called you up and said, Hey,
we would love to speak to you about doing the
morning drive. And it'd have to be with Rob.
What would you do differently than now? I'm talking
idea -wise and content. I have more at the bottom
of the page, but please answer this before you
read it. I love this. This is a brilliant email.
I don't think we'd do very much different to
you. We couldn't cuss as much. Like right now,
we can say fuck and all that stuff, but we couldn't
like if it was regular terrestrial radio. It
would sound better because it'd be better produced,
right? I don't think we do that much differently,
do you? Because I would not want, I've never
thought, I don't like guests. I never have. I
always wanted to just hear the funny, and I didn't
like guests. So I couldn't see, even if we were
on that type of format, us getting a bunch of
guests, do you? Not really. Yeah. Maybe once
in a while. Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, the answer
is, and I did not read the bottom of this on
purpose, because I don't know what he or she
said. Okay. No, I don't think there's that much
we would do different. I think what we got here
is what we got, and I think we're pretty happy
with it. Am I speaking right, Rob? Yeah, yeah.
Like you said, the only thing that would change
is we wouldn't be able to cuss. Yeah, and it'd
be a little bit better quality, of course. Yeah,
yeah. Yeah, okay. There's not that much... Actually,
I'd be wider awake. Yes. So, yeah, okay. So,
hang on. Let me get a... I put them on two different
pieces of paper on purpose. Okay. Okay. Here's
what he or she wrote after that. I'm betting
you would do something pretty close to what you
are doing currently. Was I right? Yeah. They
were right, weren't they? Yeah, they were. If
I was you, or no, no, no. If I was, if I was
right, then you'd prove my point. You do a very
entertaining show currently. I really don't know
what else you could change to make it that much
better. I think you hit the nail on the head.
Ross and Roosevelt Heights. I think Ross is a
guy's name, right? It can be a chick's name too,
can't it? Yeah, I bet my guess would be a guy.
Probably a guy. I don't know where Roosevelt
Heights is, do you? Give me just a second. Okay.
Ross. I was getting more tea. Ross, thank you.
That was great. You know, all the times that
we think we do this and do that, we probably
wouldn't. We'd probably stick to what we're doing,
wouldn't we? Oh, yeah, definitely. Yeah. All
right, you know, we like to make fun of ourselves
and stuff like that. That's part of the gig,
you know. Make fun of yourself. That way, when
someone else does, you look at them and go, no
shit. But, yeah, thank you, Ross. I liked that
email considerably. It was great. Did you see
where Roosevelt Heights is? San Antonio and Chicago.
My guess is it's going to be up around Chicago.
Actually, you know what? I think it might be,
actually. Yeah, you know what? I used to do quite
a bit of work. I think it's on the northwestern
side, possibly. You know what? Anyhow, wherever
you are, Ross, thank you very much. Appreciate
that. San Antonio's never represented it very
well on RSS. Chicago's, they've represented pretty
well. So my guess is it's probably Roosevelt
Heights, but if you want to write back, Ross,
and let us know where that's at, we'd appreciate
it. Yeah. All right, thank you. Let's take our
second break, and then we'll go into one of your
stories. Then we're going to rate a couple of
parodies that I did, a couple of parody bits.
Does that sound good? Sounds good. Two douchebags
and a microphone as entertaining as a botulism
burp. Now it's time for pickup lines from a loser.
You're pretty and I'm cute. Together we could
be pretty cute. Tomorrow morning while grinding
your coffee beans for your double mocha latte,
remember to not get your genitals caught in the
grinder. It really hurts. Who can afford plastic
surgery? Stay safe, everyone. Have you ever wondered
what something came about? Have you ever looked
at something and said, hmm, I wonder what the
origin of that is? Well, so have we. That's why
we give you The Origin of. The Origin of the
Goatee. The Goatee is a beard style that dates
back to ancient Greece and Rome and is named
for its resemblance to a goat's beard. The goatee
has been worn by many famous men throughout history,
including Uncle Sam, Henry M. Hoyt, and Mr. Spock.
The gobham was often depicted with a goatee,
and in medieval and renaissance art, Satan was
depicted with a goatee as well. The goatee became
popular again in the 1940s as a defining trait
of the beatniks and jazz musicians. It fell out
of favor again in the 1960s, but became fashionable
again in the 1990s and 2000s. The term goatee
originated in the late 20th century. It was originally
called a goatee. The apocalypse just happened.
You don't know what to do. You don't know where
to go. But we can tell you what you can eat.
Dandelion can be stewed with wild mustard and
wild garlic for a very tasty stew. You could
even introduce our old friend the hickory nut
for a bit of smoky flavor. Hey there, fuckstick.
You're just in time for brand new feature news
nobody gives a shit about. Every Model T that
was ever manufactured was in the color black.
Hi all, this is Chicago. I am the most dangerous
city in North America. You can't touch me. Oh,
yeah, this is Kansas City here. Hold my beer,
bitch. Now, from this underground bunker in Camden,
Missouri, stocked full of dried goods, canned
food, and a couple of vibrating toys, is Ramblings
of a Madman, featuring Rob Rad. My mechanic told
me I couldn't repair your brakes. So I made you
a horn ladder. Good job. All aware of the Amber
Alert, right? Well, get rid of your disinfectants
and rubber bedspreads, kids. It's the all -new
Amber Herd Alert System. This fantastic early
warning device helps one stay dry and rid of
all those annoying mattress invoices. Simply
hook up to child under six or psychopath and
wait for the running water sound. This clever
machine has three distinct settings, babbling
brook, ocean waves, and roaring river for those
close calls. Order today and get a free Cinnabon
re -music cartridge. Next up, things overheard
in tell. Joe Buck and Corey Aikman are doing
all televised and radio games of the NFL this
year. Two douchebags and microphone. I'm Mark
of the Kansas City chapter. And I am Rob of the
beautiful Lake of the Ozarks chapter. The Nianguo
Arm. Yes. All right. Rob. Okay. A woman who says
she lives just 12 miles from the SpaceX testing
facility. Okay. space travel, and satellite technology.
However, despite the billionaire's impressive
work in the field, one woman claims to be less
than impressed at the effect the test has allegedly
had on her home. Foundation repair ain't cheap,
TikTok user TheFeralGuru said as her video began,
showing her window blinds trembling. It's rattling.
The ad as she made her way to the living room
where her ornaments were shaking on the wall.
As everything came to a standstill, the TikToker
continued, and now just a few seconds of silence.
See the difference? This is what it should sound
like. Pointing her camera at large cracks on
five of her walls. Meanwhile, she added, nearly
every doorway is cracked. In a separate video,
she alleged, same thing. Wow, as far away as
Waco? Yeah. Waco, Texas? Yeah. That's quite a
ways away. Waco filed a lawsuit last year. I
think it's entirely possible. Seeking damages
to his foundation. There's another resident...
We might all get a Dodge check from Elon then,
right? Yeah, my foundation. In response to the
stories, SpaceX insisted the public is not at
risk during the testing and that they adhere
to all parameters relating to air pressure, noise
levels, and ground vibration. Anyone with concerns
can contact the company directly or do so via
a licensed attorney. The company also asked for
documented evidence, including photos and videos
of alleged damage. Wow. I'd like to see how this
turns out, because I guarantee you, you know,
there's a lot of homes. Yes. I think these are
only the first ones to speak up. That's why I
was joking about a Dodge check coming from Elon.
I mean, gosh, if they could prove that, imagine
all the people that could come forward. They
could have already had foundation issues, and
they said, you know what? I may have had foundation
issues, but this hurried it up 10 years. Now
I have to do something about it. Yeah, yeah.
You see, there are a lot of people that could
have a legitimate claim about that if it goes
through. Or what could happen is a good old bullshit
class action where nobody gets anything. You
get a $2 check in the mail and all the lawyers
get it. We'll see which way this goes. 20 years
from now. Yeah, 20 years from now. Yeah. Did
you eat asbestos as a child? Here's your $2.
Yeah, it's fucking ridiculous. Okay. Rob, like
I threatened to do, I got a couple of these new...
Parody bits. And I decided to do something a
little bit different. And how well this does
is contingent on how well it sounds. But I love
the idea of rating this live right now. And see
what you think. What I think of it. And I want
people to write in. And say, this is your first
one right here. You're going to get this on this
show. You're going to get them on this one when
I edit it. But I want your first reaction. All
right, the first one is called Rob Radiation.
So this is, Rob is a superman because, and this
is all a parody, guys, okay? Don't anybody try
to eat radiation. Rob, he ate radiation in small
amounts for 30 years. Now he's immune to it.
So here's what you get. This is Radiation Rob,
and you can rent him for parties and bar mitzvahs.
So here we go, and I got to put the... Speak
a little bit closer. Or the microphone. Here.
Will I not play both? You know what? It's not
going to fucking work. Damn it. Of course. I
was so excited about this shit, too. And the
next one after that is Thought of the Day. And
it's about Bluetooth Guy. Bluetooth Guy is the
asshole that always fucking screams in the, wherever,
in the store. And you can't help but hear him.
But it doesn't matter because I can't play either
one of them. I wonder if I can switch the mic
on these to something else. Let's see if it affects.
No, it won't fucking. Let me try this. What was
the other sound we came up with? Oh, well. Oh,
it was that one that you had recorded. Yeah,
yeah. Oh, the longest word ever. Okay. Well,
the only way I think I'll be able to do this,
but I'm not sure, because here's what the problem
is I just found out. It all uses the same sound
drive. And it's incapable of switching from one
audio track to the other at the same time because
it would be recording us and playing us, and
it doesn't understand that. It's like, I don't
know what to do. So, okay. All right. Well, I
thought it was a great idea, and maybe I can
get it to work in the future. But for right now,
it's not going to work. All right. Well, let
me go to... Millennials and Gen Z's are having
a lot of hearing loss. A lot earlier than we
did. And we listen to a lot of loud shows, right?
Right. Okay, my hearing loss didn't happen until
I was like, I don't know, 40. And it started
deteriorating from there. And it's due to loud
noises. I can't hear high frequency that well
and I also have tinnitus from it. So, okay. Anyhow,
I'll go into this article now. It says, Sound
the alarm. Millennials and Gen Z are at risk
for early hearing loss. Because of high -powered
headphones and high -decimal sound systems, hearing
loss is no longer a simple sign of aging. Millennials
and Gen Z readers may be shook to learn that
throwing shade at boomers with funky hearing
aids is no longer cool. Hearing tests are not
adulting concerns for the future. According to
American Hearing and Audiology, who are people
now in their 40s and 30s, and 17 % of Gen Z,
people in their 20s and late teens, suffer from
some form of hearing loss. Dr. Anna Strange,
audiologist, says she smiles when she sees little
kids with big noise -blocking headphones at outdoor
concerts or street festivals, and not just because
they're so cute. I love that their ears are protected,
but it's ironic because their parents should
have the same level of protection for their hair,
and she explained. And, you know, this is true
because how many of the younger ones do you see?
Actually, I see a lot of boomers and Xers with
big fucking ugly headphones on their head walking
around. Do you see that, too? Or is that a city
boomer? Yeah, I do. Yeah, yeah. Well, I think
it's more of a city. Yeah, but... Most people
use earpods. Yeah, I'd rather use an earpod too,
but there's a lot of people walk around with
big headphones, old style. Now, they're wireless,
they're Bluetooth, but they kind of remind you
of the old style headphones that we used to plug
in straight to our Walkman or whatever. Walkman,
look it up. It's spelt like Walkman. Walkman,
only one word, look it up. Okay, let's see. Why
the increase in young adult hearing loss is what
you might ask. For people over 50, hearing loss
is often caused by proboscis, age -related changes
in the air or auditory nerve. This natural process
can be exasperated by hereditary factors like
head injuries, illnesses, or infections, some
prescriptions, circulatory problems, and, of
course, excessive loud noise. Now, I know circulatory
problems can be a factor because circulatory,
you see, you know, it's like the heck. I can
say that now. Circulatory problems can also be,
can definitely be your circulation, too, because
that's one of the things they went into about
tinnitus. It can be related to your cardiovascular
system as well as hearing loss. For people under
50, being around excessive noise is the main
culprit of early onset hearing loss. The National
Council of Aging defines excessive noise as 85
decimals. And so, where is the second page? Okay.
85 decimals are allowed for an extended amount
of time, like using a leaf blower for two hours
without ear protection. They do rattle your ears.
You've used one, haven't you, in a leaf blower?
Yeah. Yeah, they can get pretty loud. But millennials
and Gen Zs don't use leaf blowers. They know
to leave the leaves until spring for insects.
It's true. So what about blasting a true crime
podcast at full volume out of your AirPods or
spending an earplug -free weekend at Coachella?
Those situations can be just as bad. The shift
to digital music, games, and streaming TV or
movies have increased the amount of time people
are using headphones or earbuds for entertainment.
They deliver unregulated sound right from the
sensitive parts of your ear, right to them. Then,
it's not just concerts that will leave your ears
ringing. Sporting events, bars, and hot new restaurants
are often designed to be loud and can hammer
us with advanced sound amplification technology.
And that's true. Because one of the places that
I like to go in Kansas City is a blue line hockey
bar up in the city market area. That place is
as loud as a concert whenever you got a football
game going on in there. And people scream so
loud and it's a smaller place and people scream
so loud in there that it is probably the same
decimal as a concert. I'm not kidding you. I
never thought that like just like, I don't know,
50 people. It could get that loud, but in that
type of a building, it can definitely hurt your
ears. All right, here are some tips to get you
started. Wear hearing protection if you have
a noisy job or like noisy activities. You must
get earmuffs or earplugs. Inserted earplugs keep
the sound out better than earmuffs, said Dr.
Brockfield, but any hearing protection is better
than none. So as a musician, Dr. Brockfield understands
not wanting to listen to muffled sound at a concert,
so he recommends off -the -shelf musician's earplugs
that have a flat, Annunciation. Okay. The musician's
earplugs work good because they're designed to
keep other noise out and to keep the noise that
you want to hear in. It doesn't muffle them as
bad. And a lot of musicians have to use that
because they have hearing loss and they have
to. You know, they're right next to their Marshall
stack or whatever. As an audiologist, Dr. Brothfield
has designed earplug sets for musicians, one
to fully dampen sound during rehearsal and another
with low enunciation to hear subtle cues during
a performance. And then he said, it's important
to know the 60 -60 rule. Device levels should
be at 60 % volume and listening on headphones
should be 60 minutes maximum before taking a
break. Most devices now have a headphone safety
feature so you can set a limit. Now I know what
that's about. I've seen that. Okay. Feature so
you can set a limiter below 80 decibels. Adjust
your TV sound system. How many times have you
turned up the sound for a movie or a baseball
game? Only be blasted out of your seat by a much
louder commercial. That's about every day, isn't
it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Commercials always come
out loud. So, Dr. C., the internal speakers instead
of separate sound systems are better for your
ears. Turn on the... Captions with real millennials
have already done that. A lot of them turn on
the closed caption. That way they can talk to
somebody and watch TV. He also recommends not
giving to the stigma of hearing aids being ugly
and hard to use. No, that's not true, man. Hearing
aids are easy and you can't even see them. I've
got one right here. This thing right here. Goes
in your ears. and you can't see it unless you
come up there and you bend their ear back, you
can see the device. But other than that, you
do not know it's there. So, yeah. And it wasn't
crazy expensive either, like one would think.
So, anyhow, yeah, I suggest if you have hearing
problems and you want to solve it, you know,
hearing people better, get a hearing aid, and
you get one of these new chic ones that no one
sees. So, anyhow, Rob, you got something? Yeah,
I do. The ancestral home of the founder of Harley
Davidson Motorcycles has been saved from demolition
by a devoted group. The Davidson Legacy Preservation
Group has achieved their goal of raising more
than 300 ,000 pounds to obtain keys to the cottage
with the plan to develop it into a visitor attraction.
Davidson Cottage, located in the Angus village
of Aberlimbo, was home to William C. Davidson,
who immigrated to America in 1857 with his three
children, creating the iconic Harley Davidson.
After a three -year campaign at the last minute,
the Harley Davidson Company stepped in to provide
the final funding to get the team over the line.
In a statement on their GoFundMe page, Mary Abton
of the Davidson Legacy Preservation Group said,
This incredible milestone would not have been
possible without the dedication and generosity
of so many. We extend our heartfelt thanks to
everyone who contributed to the fundraising efforts,
especially the Harley Davidson writing community.
and our supporters worldwide. Your enthusiasm
and commitment has been truly inspiring. That's
pretty cool. That is very cool. Talk about devoted
fans. Right. The way it was sounded, they saved
this place at the last minute. What was that
music hall that they did that to? Was it Atlanta,
maybe? And people went and stood in front of
it? I did a story just a couple weeks ago about
the Angus Young Home. The one where Angus and
Malcolm... Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's another
one, too, but there was... Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That was another one, but there was one a couple
of years ago. Very famous one where people stood
in front of it and wouldn't let the wrecking
ball hit it. And then they finally got some affluent
people to invest in it. And now it's a music
venue again. Oh, yeah. I remember. I think you
might have reported on it, actually. I might
have. Well, whoever reported on it, I'm glad
you remember it because I do too. And I just
thought that was a cool story. People going to
bat for what they believe in. I have a quiz here
if you want to get into it here. These are old
words that are basically gone anymore that we
used to use and we used to hear semi -often.
And I would like to know if you know what they
actually mean. I didn't. Are you ready? Yeah.
And these are words that they took out of the
dictionary recently, too. So, okay. Bumfuzzle.
You remember hearing that at all? I heard it
very rarely, but I did hear it. I'm going to
have to say it goes along with bumfuck. Yeah,
yeah, yeah, it could, it could, yeah. Means to
confuse, fluster, or bewilder someone. Often
used in a playful or informal way and is similar
to the meaning bamboozle. So yeah, yeah, that'd
be a bumfuck. Here's a more detailed explanation.
Meaning, to bumfuzzle is to cause someone to
become confused, perplexed, or flustered. Usage
is a collatical term, meaning it's typically
used in informal conversation, especially in
southern United States. Similar words are bamboozle.
Let's see. Anyhow, that's pretty much it. How
about collywobbles? I've heard that. Rarely.
I have not. Okay. It's humorous. It's a plural
noun. Anyhow, Kali Wobbles means stomach pain
or queasiness. And someone would use it as an
attack of the Kali Wobbles. Intense anxiety or
nervousness, especially with stomach queasiness.
So, like such organizations get on the Kali Wobbles.
Yeah. I've heard that, but like I said, it's
not that common. But, I mean, And I didn't know
what any of these meant, honestly. So, all right.
The next one is, I've never heard this one. Flibbertigibbet.
Have you ever heard that? No, I have not. Okay.
Flibbertigibbets. A frivolous, flighty, or excessively
talkative person. Origin, late middle English.
It is used in idle chatter. So, all right. That
one I'm kind of disappointed in because I don't
think I've ever heard that. I think I would have
remembered that stupid word. It's like that word
that I kept playing last week. You'd remember
it if you heard it. Yeah. So, anyhow. How about
gubbins? G -U -B -B -I -N -S. And to me, I think
this is British, just by the way it sounds. I
don't know for sure. Have you ever heard that?
No. Okay. No wonder they're taken out of the
dictionary. Nobody knew what the hell it was.
All right. It's a noun. Plural but singular or
plural in construction. Gibbons. Various or less
commonly, gubbins. It's a dialectical British.
Oh, it is British. Fish pairings or refuge, broadly.
Any bits and pieces, scraps. Gadget, gadgetry.
The gubbins for a change in attire. All the navigational
gubbins. Eh, okay. Or it can also mean a foolish
or futile person, simpleton, you silly Govans.
Eh, okay. Sorry about that one. Sorry about the
last two. How about kerfuffle? I've heard that.
I've heard it a couple times. Yeah, that's what
I'm saying, too. It has not been very common
to me, but I do remember it here and there because
it's a particular word. People mean to say it
for a reason. So, yeah, it's pretty poignant,
I guess, maybe. Anyhow, all right. Kerfuffle
is British again. Kerfuffle is a plural noun.
Kerfuffle is a common... commotion or fuss, especially
one caused by conflicting views. There was a
kerfuffle over the chairmanship origin is how
it's used. Early 19th century, perhaps from Scott's
kerfuffle. It was a Gaelic term. Twist or bend
is what it originally meant. So it's related
to twist or bend something. whether it be an
object or the truth. And then in Irish, it means
confusion or disorder. So, all right. And then
finally, I don't know, that's it. You know what?
I'm just saying, that sounds like something Rose
from the Golden Girls said. That's a pretty good
description, Rob. Yes. She would come up with,
she... You used to come up with words like that.
Yes, the ones that make people turn around and
go, what? What did you say? All right, well,
I'm done with that because I purposely did not
do too many of them because they get, actually
they get on your nerves, don't they? Kind of.
So, yeah, Rob, we turn to you. Okay, a man is
facing time behind bars after being convicted.
Okay. Oh. Hmm. That left no questions, she said.
She shared only a still image from the video,
but allowed ABC 13 to watch it in its entirety.
Further testing brought devastating news to the
54 -year -old victim, who learned she had acquired
a non -curable sexually transmitted disease.
The lawsuit was initially filed on behalf...
of four women who worked in the East Houston
office building where Diaz was a janitor. The
women reportedly tested positive for incurable
sexually transmitted diseases after coming in
contact with water bottles infected by Diaz.
The law firm said that after the lawsuit was
filed, nine other women who worked in the same
building came forward with the same allegations
and diagnosis. The lawsuit named the building's
owner, the building's management company, the
maintenance company, and the cleaning company
that employed Diaz. Wow. Damn, dude. There are
some sick people out there, I'm telling you.
Yeah, like the guy at the Hereford house that
was like... Putting feces and urine in people's
food and drink. This reminds me of a case from
St. Joe probably 25, maybe 30 some years ago.
Maybe a little bit further than that, but I think
you remember. You're probably around town during
this time. The guy that was pissing in the coffee.
He was making coffee with his piss every morning
in his office. Do you remember that? Nope. I
think I remember something about that. Yeah,
yeah. It was one of the very first cases of something
like this. I guess he's a big, big heavy guy,
and I guess, like, maybe this is from what I
gather from the way it was worded a couple of
times. They jibbed him about his weight. Do what?
I was living up around St. Joe 25 years ago.
Yeah, they... Right at 25 years ago. This is
back before cameras were... That would have been
around 2000. Yeah, that sounds about right. That's
probably about when that happened. No, it was
not me. No, this guy was a big, heavy guy. And
from what I could gather from what the articles
read or said in him was like, he got jabbed a
little bit from people about his weight, giving
him shit, and it pissed him off. So every morning
he would go into the office and make coffee for
everybody. But he didn't do it with water. He
did it with his urine. And he did this for months.
Until one lady started going, man, you know,
this stuff does not taste right. So she installed
a camera. And they caught him. And he went to
prison. I don't know how long. He might be out.
But I'll have to. You know what? Tuesday night.
I'm going to download the article about that.
I can find it, I'm sure. It's somewhere in the
archives somewhere. I'm going to find it. I'm
going to download it and we'll talk about it.
Isn't that cool? Yeah. Yeah, I'll bet you it's
probably 2000s, maybe even late 90s that that
happened. Rob, I mean, you know what? I don't
think I'd call the police at first. I think I'd
beat the shit out of the guy. And then I'd call
the police. And then go, he swung at me first.
I mean, the guy is pissing in our drink. So you're
going to believe him or me? I wasn't pissing
everybody's drink. So, yeah, and also, I think
that probably most cops will give you that one.
They'll be like, I believe you, sir. There's
absolutely no evidence that you started it, so
you're free to go. This guy, however, no, not
so much. Oh, so, wow. Thank you, Rob. You're
welcome. It's 9 -17. Do you want to keep going
or do you want to end it? Yeah, actually, I do
have one here. Okay, I've got one too, but you
can go ahead with yours, and I'll go with this
one after. Okay, I'm going to go into Crew 9,
the astronauts that just got back from the space
station. The ones that were out there forever?
Yeah, yeah. Okay. Crew 9's homecoming had been
ushered in by NASA and SpaceX sending aid. new
four -person crew to replace them to the International
Space Station over the weekend. Wilmore and Williams
both notched 286 days in space, significantly
longer than the roughly one week they were originally
supposed to spend on the ISS when they arrived
via Boeing Starliner in June of last year. Meanwhile,
Haig and Gourbinov... time in space amounted
to 171 days. That was the other two that came
back with them. With Crew 9 back on Earth, the
new astronauts manning the ISS questioned about
how much money NASA astronauts earn on board
the orbiting research station had arisen. and
whether Wilmar and Williams could have any extra
pay coming their way, given their extensive space.
That's a good question. Yeah. Yeah, sure is.
And the answer is shocking. Okay. When NASA astronauts
are aboard the International Space Station, they
receive regular 40 -hour week. They do not receive
overtime or holiday -slash -weekend pay, a NASA
spokesperson told Fox Business. NASA astronauts'
salaries were over $152 ,000 last year. The NASA
spokesperson said transportation, lodging, and
meals are provided for NASA astronauts. as they
are on official travel orders as federal employees
while in space. Well, duh. They are also on long
-term temporary duty and receive the incidentals
amount for each day they are in space. The spokesperson
also spoke about business. Incidental expenses
for travel. to any location is currently $5 a
day. The incidentals rate would presumably equate
to $1 ,430 for Wilmore and Williams. Wow. Okay.
Yeah, she put, they put in over $900 of research.
250 miles. paid for murders. Uh -huh. But, yeah,
and they were up there roughly nine months. So
they get their nine -month pay. Uh -huh. Plus
$1 ,430. Doesn't seem like enough to me. That's
it. Yeah. Although I did read another report
where... Where Trump is giving them overtime.
Yeah, Trump heard about it and... He said he'd
pay him out of his own pocket. Yeah, and he's
going to pay him, like, overtime, too, or something
like that for the whole initial time, which is
fucking fantastic if he does that, because these
people deserve it. Yeah, it wasn't their fault.
If it's true that the Biden administration, like
it had been reported by several outlets, held
that up to hurt Elon and Trump, he should be
sued personally, in my opinion. They should sue
him personally. for making them stay out in space
that long. All of this is unproven, and I'm not,
I think the article, you know, if it's true,
then he should be held accountable for that.
Because that's bullshit. Those poor people had
to stay out there that long. It's not right.
It's like everything else. It takes too long
to prove it, and it's probably never going to
prove it. It's probably never going to happen,
yeah. So, anyhow. But, I mean, wouldn't you think
he should be held responsible, if that's true,
accountable for it? Yeah, I personally, in my
opinion, yes. Yeah, yeah, I would be the first
on board to say, sue that motherfucker. I don't
think they could do anything to him. He could
have easily gotten somebody up there to get them,
easily. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Even if it was another
country. Yes. So, anyhow, yeah, that's fucking
stupid. So, all right. You know the average color
of the universe is cosmic latte? This was determined
by astronomers who analyzed the light from many
galaxies. It is speculated that it rains diamonds
on Uranus and Neptune. Oh, that's funny. It rains
diamonds on Uranus? I've heard that. I've heard
that. Oh, I was going by Uranus. Oh. That's pretty
cool. I know where I want to go. I want to go
to Uranus, Rob. What about you? Do you want to
go to Uranus? Oh, we got one about an hour from
me down here. Oh, okay. Uranus, Missouri. Oh,
is there? Yeah, it's one of those, like, gift
shop areas, tourist attractions. Oh, man. We've
got to find something to do in Uranus, Missouri.
It's down by St. Robert. Yeah, I know where that's
at. Yeah, man, that poor town. Gosh, did you
see all the damage that tornado did? About a
week ago? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, those poor guys.
The human body. Your brain uses about 20 % of
your body's total energy, even though it only
makes up about 2 % of your body weight. The human
brain is made up of roughly 60 % fat. Did you
know that everybody's tongue print is unique,
just like fingerprints? I didn't know that. I
didn't. But who the hell is going to put ink
on their tongue to prove it? I wouldn't, would
you? Right. Here, go ahead. Okay, thanks. We've
got a good print. All right. Animals. A shrimp's
heart is located in its head. Yeah, where else
are you going to put it? A shrimp's pretty small.
Right. Giraffes are more likely to be struck
by lightning than humans. I believe that. Hell
yeah, they're way up there. Right, they're tall.
Yeah. An ostrich eye is bigger than its brain.
You ever been around an ostrich? I believe it.
Yeah, I have. Alright, and here's some general
facts. Water itself is not wet. Wetness is the
ability of water to adhere to a solid surface.
Identical twins do not have identical fingerprints.
And that is all I got from this one. I just wanted
to do some weird facts. Supposedly on the next
podcast, Jeffy X has got some information for
us. He's got another list. Oh, right on. Yeah,
yeah, he's been working diligently. He's been
busy. He's been sweating. He's been sweating.
He still has the same outfit on, Rob. I know.
Yeah, he needs to come by so he can get another
Sgt. Pepper's outfit and maybe probably cut that
off of him at this point. All right. Oh, here's
something funny. Talk about cutting off. Okay.
When we were at the emergency room because of
my separated shoulder last week, I had a really
nice crew shirt on, and he was going to cut it
because it's, like, really hard to take it off
of your arm because you're fucking wincing in
pain. And anyhow, they felt so bad that they
figured out how to take it off. It took a little
bit longer, but they took it off without having
to cut it. I thought that was funny. Yeah. That
was nice of them. Yeah, it was. It is because
I was like, I don't know, I like that shirt.
And I thought they were going to go, oh, tough
shit, your husband's a klutz. Nope. They worked
around it. God bless him. Anyhow. All right,
it is 926. I know you kind of got the 930 rule
because you get up awful early. Yeah. We're going
to go ahead and cut this bitch off. Call it good?
Sounds good. All right, Rob, thank you again
for joining me. Oh. Yeah. And hello, Knoblick.
Oh, hi, Knoblick. We love you guys, especially
your name. How about Tidewad, too? Hi, Tidewad.
We love you guys. Yes, hi, Tidewad. Yeah, we've
got to throw them some love. And what was the
other one that you just mentioned, the one with
the gift shop and all that? Oh, Uranus. Oh, yeah,
and Uranus. All right. You know what? I don't
want to get into all that whole thing now that
we don't have to do Dodge City anymore. All right.
That's in Pulaski County, by the way. Pulaski
County? Oh, okay. That's south -central, almost
a little bit to the east. Yeah, St. Robert, Winterwood
area. Yep. Right on 44 Highway. Yep. Yep, right
there in the middle of nothing, because you go
through a lot of nothing to get to it. Oh, my
gosh. I mean, it's beautiful country. It's also
part of old Route 66. Yes. Yep. All that 44,
all the way through Oklahoma, all the way through
Missouri, Illinois. Yes. Route 66. That's the
one that Guy Fieri travels in that car. Probably
doesn't, but anyhow. It's great for a beginning,
though, isn't it? So, anyhow, thank you guys
for listening. Have a fantastic evening. Good
night, assholes. Good night, assholes. Oh, no.
Looks like the show's over, kids. Mark has explosive
diarrhea and can't afford a wireless mic. Fear
not, assholes. They'll be back invading your
ear holes soon.