Hey, you fucking derelicts. It's time for the
Daily Douchebag Pledge. I, Joe or Jane Listener,
hereby promise to download the show. I, Joe or
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hereby promise to make other people listen. I,
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Listener, promise to make all my family members
listen and recite the daily douchebag pledge.
And finally, I, Joe or Jane Listener, hereby
promise to make the trek to Knobloch, Missouri,
just to have a selfie with the Knobloch sign.
Here at Two Douchebags and a Microphone, we don't
stand behind our journalistic integrity. Go ahead
and assume we got the story wrong. At least we
admit it. Not like all those other guys. We can
and will lie if it makes the story better. Two
douchebags and a microphone. We talk. You watch
the news. It looks grim. Is an apocalypse inevitable?
We suggest you download all our podcasts beforehand
and have multiple mobile chargers. We have the
post -apocalypse. Remember, post -apocalypse
to have a sewage bit. Sewage untreated can result
in serious illness and other obstacles for your
family to live well. You also should have some
chemicals stocked up. maybe bags of chlorine
or something of such, to sanitize the sewage
per week. Your mama's so stupid, she thought
lightsabers were less calories. Strange, but
true. In a remote area of the Amazon rainforest,
a small parasitic catfish is reported to swim
in the erythras of those who are mating in the
Amazon River. also called the vampire fish, that
follows a urine stream, lodges itself in the
urethra, expands its fins to stay in place, and
consumes tissue until hemorrhaging kills the
host. The reports date back to the 19th century.
The first documented removal from the human occurred
in 1997. Two douchebags and a microphone. My
name is Mark here from the Kansas City area.
And I am Rob from the Lake of the Ozarks area.
You forgot something. The beautiful Lake of the
Ozarks area. Beautiful Lake of the Ozarks. Actually,
Camdenton, Missouri. Which is a very beautiful
arm of the river. Yeah. Niagara River, but the
lake. I'm sorry. The Niagara, but the lake. Yes,
yeah. I'm on a little bit of painkiller tonight,
and the reason is because I separated my shoulder
once again. Third time's a charm, right? Hopefully.
Yeah. Hopefully it's taken care of this time.
Hopefully, yes. So, anyhow. I know how I'll do
that. I'll just never do any physical work again.
How's that? And try not to trip and fall. There
you go. All right. It's settled. All right. Well,
okay. I noticed something the other day, Rob.
Okay. The first, second, and third season of
our podcast are missing. Did you ever notice
that? What? They're missing. They're not there.
Oh, I don't know. Go to RSS or Spotify or anywhere.
and I checked it out thoroughly. I thought at
first it was probably the podcast service, you
know, that cut off the older ones. But it looks
to me like RSS only lets you have so many episodes,
and I think we exceeded that number. But this
is fine with me. I don't care. I mean, you know,
we have plenty for people to go check out, right?
But I don't have most of those. Topher does.
Because when we first started, Topher was doing
all of the editing and the producing and all
that. And then I took it over about midway through
the second season, if not the third season. So
I don't have most of these episodes. I hope Topher
does. I've got to get in touch with him and ask
him if he does. Because I don't have them. I'm
hoping so because those are like some of our
initial ones that had some very interesting things
on there, you know, when we were trying different
things, you know, like the very first ass paddlings,
the original big and ball biter, you know, all
those stories that I had, you know. All the original
ones are from there because, you know, I just
started going through a list of shit that I could
remember what happened, you know. So anyhow,
but so while I was figuring this out, I started
going through the files to see how many I did
have. Okay, so it looks to me like I have most
of season three, four, and five. I have a majority
of what we made. I have everything that you and
I made. And I have a little bit of what me and
Topher made. I hope Topher didn't erase them.
I've got to get a hold of them, but anyhow. But
if he has them, what I'm going to do is I'm going
to condense them. I'm going to take them all
on a flash drive. I'm going to put them on this
computer, and I'm going to make a bunch of best
ofs. What do you think of that? That sounds good.
Yeah, because there's some... We were experimenting,
and a lot of that stuff I'm not real proud of.
I mean, you know, we didn't, you know, we're
just feeling our way through this thing. And
I would like to think that we got much better
and more fluid at it. So I think it would be
in our best interest. And also, it will be less
episodes for them to cut off later, you know.
Because I'm not sure what the threshold is of
how many you can have on RSS. But RSS is our
main server that serves to everybody. So if they
don't have it. If they were over it, because
they're cutting soft. Yeah, yeah. So I was pretty
surprised. I thought they were all on there.
But what they did was. They did the premiere
episode, and then they skipped to season three.
So I think what they do there at RSS is as a
courtesy, they give you the kickoff. That way,
you know, people go, oh, okay, I hear what they're
about. All right. And then they can decide if
they want to listen to you or not, right? Which
is cool of them. And RSS, I'm not dogging RSS
at all. They're a great service. Oh, no. Yeah.
But while I was doing this, I counted all the
bumpers and promos and the little zingers and
stuff like that we have. Do you know how many
we have, Rob? Of the ha -ha's and the bits and
all that? I know there's more than what people
think. I know that. 547 of them. Holy shit. 547
of them. Yeah. And we want to keep more. We want
to make more. I know. I made a bunch the other
night, and you and I still got to get together
and figure out a good night to do this. Yeah,
we do. Yeah, we do. I've got some stuff for you,
Rob, that you're going to do. When I come up
with it, I'm like, that is Rob. You'll see what
I mean, dude. We got, like, some words of wisdom
from Rob's and then Uncle Rob's tricks from life.
And then I wanted to do something a little bit
different. You know, we got deep thoughts with
Mark and what's inside Mark's head and stuff
like that. Let's do that to Rob. What do you
think about that? Why not? Yeah, I think that's
cool. Shit, I mean, I think you're more popular
than I am. So, I mean, hell, you might as well.
We each have our fans. And that's fine. Yeah,
we do. So, anyhow, as I last reported, I had
poison ivy. It kicked the shit out of me. So
I went and I got steroids to rid myself of the
plague that has destroyed mankind for thousands
of years now. Poison ivy. The steroids are a
complete pain in the ass because they make you
constantly starved, irritable, and anxious. So
I'm pretty much normal, I guess. Anyhow, Have
you ever taken steroids, Rob? Yes, I have. It
sucks because you start off with 20 tablets,
21 tablets, and then you start off taking two
in the morning, two in the mid -morning, two
in the mid -afternoon, two after supper, two
at night. Then you go to like, I don't know,
the next one is you got, I don't know, eight
of them and two in the morning, one after lunch,
one after supper, and two at night, and all this
stuff. Anyhow, it's such a pain in the ass because
it's so hard to keep track of. Even if they give
you that little thing there that explains it
all, it still sucks because you've got to carry
this thing on you when you go to work to make
sure you have it, to make sure you take it on
time. Because if you don't, then it'll come back.
And I've seen what happens because... You know,
if you don't do it right, then it comes back
with vengeance. Poison ivy, it just goes nutso
on you. Have you ever seen someone that quit
steroids in the middle of it? Oh, dude, dude,
dude. As a kid, I was very, very highly allergic
to poison ivy. If it was in the air, I would
catch it. But now that I'm older, I'm not so
bad. I don't even know if I'm even allergic to
it anymore. I'm reverse. When I was younger,
I could fucking eat the stuff. Now, I can't even
look at it. If it was in the air, I couldn't
fucking breathe it. Wow. Okay, well, evidently
that's the way it works. I guess you either have
it young or not. You either get it bad young.
Yeah, you switch. Well, mine, you know, and I
used to make fun of my dad all the time. He'd
get it. I'd go, hey, hey, hey, you know, and
I'd go over there and fucking play around in
it. And he'd go, don't touch me. Don't give it
to me, you know. And, hey, how well? You know
what? He told me this. He said, I didn't get
it when I was younger either, Mark. Sounds like
the genes caught you. He's in the great beyond
right now laughing at me. Genes caught you. Yep.
Good man. Sure would like to smack him in the
head right now. Okay, maybe later. It'd be in
a loving way. In a loving way. Come here, you
little scamp. Give me a little Indian head rub
there. Yeah. He'd be proud of you. He would be.
Yeah, yeah. I'm sure he would be. You know, I
grew up pretty decent, you know. I have my flaws
like everybody, but, you know, I go to work every
day. I'm a hardworking guy. I love my family.
You know, all that good stuff that you should
do. Not better than we were when we were teenagers.
You know what? I mean, all that learning curve
we did right, I guess it did us some good, right?
We're both outstanding citizens. We both go to
work. We care about our family. We take care
of, you know. So, you know, I think that everybody
has to, let's see, who said, Benjamin Franklin
said, I think it's Benjamin Franklin, he said,
don't let schooling get in the way of your education.
Think about that. Think how true that is. Yeah.
Yeah. I said, what, the 1500s? The education's
on the street. Yeah. 1700s, not 1500s. There
is the Percocet again. Okay. Before our time.
We don't know. Yeah, a long time ago. Yeah, yeah.
So, anyhow, the dosing of fucking steroids is
almost as annoying as the poison ivy itself.
Is that agreed? Yes. Oh, it's something. But
anyhow, so something else is going on here, Rob,
okay? So anyhow, you know I'm using that white
noise for therapy to try to rid myself of the
other plague, which is tinnitus. White noise
has odd side effects to some people. When you
sleep, it causes weird, vivid dreams, puzzle
dreams. And I'm one of them that it does that
to. It's like you sleep in a constant maze. Now,
it doesn't affect everyone, but it affects a
certain percentage of it, and I'm in that certain
percentage that it affects. So what does it do
to me? What it's doing to me is this right here.
It makes me feel or have dreams that I'm constantly
messing up the dosage, and the poison ivy comes
back and just fucking murders me, you know, like
with a vengeance. And I'm serious. Yeah, I'm
having nightmares that I'm not taking it right.
Like, all of a sudden, I'll look down, I'll go,
oh, shit, I forgot this morning. And it's just,
it's nuts. So, anyhow, but I thought about stopping
the white noise while I was taking the steroids,
but no, no. I'm just going to deal with it, and
I want to get this, I want to get tinnitus over
just like I want to get the poison ivy over.
I mean, I'm fine. I mean, it's gone. But I've
got to keep taking them because it will come
back. And I know people that quit in the middle
thinking they were okay, and it came back bad,
bad to where they almost had to go to the hospital.
I don't want to do that. I've been there today.
But, Rob, I've got something else here for you,
okay? I want you to, I think you're going to
identify with me, you know, especially we're
getting older, right, and we hurt, okay, right?
That being said. Oh, yeah. Okay. Oh, yeah. Yeah,
I mean, I know the job you do. And it's not easy.
It's not forgiving on your body, just like what
I used to do. You know, and you go home, you
ache. You know, you get up from the seat. Yeah,
my elbows. Your elbows, yeah. Me, my hips, back,
shoulder. So, anyhow. So, this is bumming me
out considerably. So, we see Ozzy. dwindling
down, right? He's dwindling to nothing pretty
much. He can't walk. He's frail. He's sickly
looking. David Lee Roth, he looks like someone's
older odd uncle that thinks he's hilarious. Agreed?
DLR looks like... Yeah, yeah. I mean, he looks
like someone's goofy uncle that thinks they're
constantly funny. So, this has been going on
for a while now, but the latest most people wouldn't
even have noticed, but... Gene Simmons has a
huge gut on him now. And I'm not making fun of
him. But I did see a few things I have to point
out. He's always had a huge ego, but seeing him
stoop to these tricks has me feeling pretty bad
right now. Now, I'm still overweight. Not horribly,
but I am. I've struggled with it my whole life.
I know these things one has to do to try to hide
his huge gut. He came out with a larger hanging
button -up over shirt to try to camouflage it.
Then he kept kind of leaning forward to try to
hide it. You lean forward to make it look like
your shirt's kind of hanging off and it's not
your gut sticking that shirt out that far, right?
Because I've done all this, okay? So, he's like
leaning forward and then he did the classic put
both your hands over it and try to hide it. You
know, I mean, he's had a lot of ego in the past,
you know, but it's, you know, he probably needed
a humbling, but I still find it bothersome. You
know, Gene, you're an asshole, but in my opinion,
I still feel for you a bit. I'm surprised, you
know, Ace hasn't made fun of you because he's
insulted Ace so much and always slighted him
so much. But what it was was Gene Simmons came
out on a Los Angeles news. program you know like
the newscast at seven or six or whatever right
and he came on there as a gig as a gimmick to
uh um to do the weather but then he came out
there and the first thing i noticed was him walking
and in acting peculiar you know what i mean like
that leaning forward and all that and then i
got to look and i'm like man he is gained probably
50 pounds dude and um And it sucks because, like
I said, he's always had a huge ego and he probably
does need a humbling. But it just, it just, it
was sad seeing that, you know, because he used
to keep in shape because he had to, because,
you know, he had a show to do. He had to look
good and, you know, he couldn't be wearing those
dragon boots and the tight, all that other stuff
with a huge gun on him. So he had to stay slim.
But now, I guess, since he's, like, sitting at
home, he's eating potato chips and watching MASH,
I don't know. But, anyhow, it was just really
sad because, you know, I mean, you see Ozzy and
he, you know, he can't even walk now. And these
are people that we grew up with, that we watched.
Okay, okay. On Ozzy's defense, Ozzy's had some
accidents that hurt his back twice. Yeah. Yeah,
but Parkinson's isn't. Yeah, Parkinson's ain't
helping. No. But the four -wheeler accident,
all that, did not help Ozzy. Yeah. Walking. No,
no, no. I know. It started with that. And he
wouldn't have been the same anyhow after all
the accidents. I mean, the final straw on Ozzy,
from what I understood, from what I read, was,
okay, after he had that ATV accident, okay, he
was better. He did okay. But in 2019, he fell
down the stairs at night. He woke up, I don't
know, maybe get a drink or take a piss. Yeah,
he did. Yeah, he fell down the stairs and he
re -injured that. And they had a bunch of bars
and pins in his back. I mean, he almost died.
He almost died when that happened. And people
didn't know it because they didn't announce it.
You know, they kept it hush -hush. But they said
so afterwards. When you re -injure something
like that, the bone breaks away from them. There's
really no putting that back together. They don't
have the technology to do that right now. They
can't put that spinal cord, that spinal bone
back together. All they can do is try to piecemeal
it together. It really wasn't very good because
they don't have anything to work with. Also,
He had a tumor in there. I guess it was nonmalignant.
I think it was benign. Thank God. But they had
to dig a tumor out of his spine too, which is
not easy either. And this is a spine that's disintegrating.
And he said that. He said that the doctor said
it's disintegrating because of all the injuries
to it and his age. So, anyhow. I just kind of
had to go over that a little bit. What's your
thoughts on it, Rob? I mean, I like what you
said about Ozzie and his defense, and I agree
with it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I think Paul's just
letting himself go. Or Gene. Or Gene. Yeah, I
said probably all of them. You know what, probably.
They're not on the road anymore, so they don't
have to stay in shape. Like you said, they're
staying at home eating. Cheetos and watching
The View. Or whatever. Yeah, you know what? Okay,
okay. I doubt if they watch The View. Fair enough.
Fair enough. They do live in L .A., right? So
they probably do watch The View. Yeah, yeah,
yeah. But, you know, they're older and they're
just, you know. And now that they're not on the
road, they don't have to keep themselves going.
So they're not going to. I think you're right.
And also, I mean, the one that used to not take
care of himself. And they are parents' age. Yeah,
yep. Yeah, that's right. So, anyhow, Rob, you
got something you want to go into? That's really
all I have with that. I got more stuff, but we'll
go into it tomorrow. Yeah, I do. Yeah, I do.
First thing, I got to go into it. You know it.
Uh -huh. Everybody has been wondering. Who our
new pride of Henry County is. Well, me and Mark
have talked about it. And it's only fitting.
Pride of Henry County goes to Tightwad, Missouri.
I'm starting to get weepy, Rob. I feel like...
Well, when we first got talking about it, I didn't
even think about Tightwad. I would say that Tightwad
was in Benton County. I thought so, too. But
then I Googled it. No. Tightwad is Henry County.
And since Montrose wanted me to keep going to
Tightwad to get car parts, and I have got this
connection between Tightwad now. Tightwad is
our new pride in Henry County. And Tightwad deserves
it, too. You've got all those car parts like
they said and everything. Yeah, in 2020, population
of 58. Oh, that's even better. I think... Yeah.
I think... I think... Knoblicks got like 100
and some. I mean... So, Knoblicks actually twice
as big as Tightwad. So... Interesting, huh? Well,
hey, yeah. So that way everybody knows who our
new pride of Henry County is. There you go. It's
Tidewad. Tidewad, Missouri. So everybody, I don't
know, clap, cheer, whatever you got to do. I
don't know. Write it down. Say it out loud. Whatever.
All right. Hey, let's take our first break. Actually,
I was going to go into some music. Oh, go ahead.
Sorry. Okay, Johnny had to cancel their show
in Houston, Texas this weekend after just five
songs when an electrical fire broke out below
the stage area. Oh, boy. The band was performing
at their Rodeo Houston event at NRG Stadium and
just started playing their massive hit, Don't
Stop. when the sound at the venue abruptly stopped.
Wow. That's a huge stadium, too. Yeah, don't
stop believing in the music stops. Come on. Does
it say whether they got a refund or not? It goes
on to say, let me get down to that part. Organizers,
Brody O 'Houston later shared a statement saying
fans would hear from them soon about refunds
or rescheduling of the show. Okay, cool. It sounds
like he could feel it, too. Yeah, he said, for
four and a half songs. Wow. And that was Dean
Castronova? Is there a drummer now in Journey?
Okay. Wow. Thank you, Rob. That was an interesting
story, wasn't it? Yeah, yeah, and the funny thing
was, they were playing Don't Stop Believin'.
Yeah, that has several different angles to it,
too, like Don't Stop Believin' and then the music
goes out. But also, the famous Fade to Black
episode was in the middle of Don't Stop Believing.
So, like, people could have been like, oh, you
guys are doing it, too? You fuckers. Stop it.
It's done. Anyhow, that's pretty awesome. Thank
you, Rob. All right. Let's take our first break.
And we got a lot of emails, like I said. There's
some very good ones. Sound good for next? Can't
wait. All right. You know my favorite episode.
I know. Me, too. Look, man, the people listening
to this. Hey, that's fine. I understood what
you were saying, and I'm pretty sure everybody
else out there did, too. Oh, Percocet is kicking
my ass. I love it. Okay, I'll be right back.
Or we'll be right back. I don't know if I'm going
to get through this. I'm trying. All right, we'll
be right back. Four out of five people surveyed
said that two douchebags in a microphone podcast
are more entertaining than a gum infection. The
fifth one called the cops. And we had to leave.
And now, Deep Thoughts with Mark. Why is it when
we skate on thin ice, we can get into hot water?
That just doesn't make sense. Oh man, what the
fuck is this? Is this a new feature? What's inside
Mark's head? Sounds stupid to me. Mmm, stromboli
is so delicious. I love stromboli. I wonder if
it loves me back. I bet you it does. Stromboli
is so tasty. It's like a giant pizza roll with
more flavor. It's the ultimate food. Mmm, stromboli.
We need stromboli cereal. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's
it. Stromboli cereal. Mmm, stromboli flakes.
Hmm. Have you ever wondered where something came
from? Have you ever looked at something and said,
Hmm, I wonder what the origin of that is? Well,
so have we. That's why we give you the origin
of... The origin of the nose ring. The middle
east is the birthplace of the nostril ring, piercing,
tracking back 4 ,000 years. Nostrils were held
as a status of upper class if they were pierced
with a ring. Hey! Hey everybody, this is Uncle
Rob. I'm going to give you some kicks for life.
This is Uncle Rob's rules to dick pics. Rule
number one, title a pic in someone else's name
so if you get busted, it's not yours. Rule number
two, shoot angles complementary to your length
and girth. Rule number four. More annoying than
a 3 a .m. piss boner. Harambe used to listen
to our original show, Too Dipshits and Cheap
Radio Shack Realistic Tape Recorder. Harambe
does not listen to our original show, Too Dipshits
and Cheap Radio Shack Realistic Tape Recorder
anymore. You might ask why Harambe never listens
to our original show, Too Dipshits and Cheap
Radio Shack Realistic Tape Recorder. Well, it's
because Harambe is dead. senselessly murdered
because some idiot did not watch her child properly
while looking on her phone. Sadly, Arambe does
not listen to our original show, Two Gibshits
and the Cheap Radio Shack Realistic Take Recorder,
or any other show. Anymore. Sorry, Arambe. Next
up, things overheard in hell. Gary Glitter has
been named the lead singer in the boys' choir
of hell. Our constant pursuit for a real knee
slapper. It's strange insults from an alien real
hilarity When taking a shower remember to scrub
your asshole with soapy water because nobody
likes a stinky asshole Two deuce bags and microphone
on the more portion of it here in the Kansas
City, Missouri Metroplex. And I am Rob at Lake
of the Ozarks. Beautiful Lake of the Ozarks.
Yes, I keep forgetting that. It was gorgeous
today. Oh, wasn't it? What beautiful weather
until I fucked my shoulder up again. But anyhow,
yeah, it's beautiful weather. All right. Got
some emails here. Are you ready for them, Rob?
You know I am. Okay. Mark, my family and I are
going to book a cruise for early next year. What
cruise line would you use? And this might be
good for you too, Rob, because you've been talking
about taking one. And any other trip you could
give me, any other trip advice you could give
me would be much appreciated. Mark in Asylum
Springs. Is there Asylum Springs down there somewhere?
Arkansas. Actually, I have a guy. that I went
to school with in Belton that I just reconnected
with, and he lives at Silent Springs. Ask him.
I'll bet you that's him. Is his name Mark? His
name is Matt. Matt. Oh, okay, no. Okay. I mean,
I'm pretty sure. No, this is a printout. Okay,
yeah, it's Mark. Okay, all right. I would take
Carnival. I would get a balcony first cruise.
What now? I'm just saying, I'm going to wait
and talk to Wendy. Oh, yeah, yeah, you need to.
Yeah, Travel Masters, Wendy Whitbeck, the best.
I wouldn't go over five days on the first one
in the odd occurrence that you don't like cruising.
And I say probably go with Carnival for several
reasons. They have more cruises to offer than
any other cruise line. You'll also figure out
what kind of a cruise you prefer. You'll figure
out if you want a pampered one or a fun time
with a family one. The cruises offered through
Carnival are usually cheaper as well, so if you
don't like it, you don't waste that much money,
right? Right. And also, the food on Carnival,
I believe, is better than all the other cruise
lines that aren't four times more expensive like
Holland America or... princess or something like
that you'll get better food on those but you're
going to pay four or five times more too and
like i said if you want a pampered cruise you're
gonna have to pay more money for them or a virgin
cruise or something like that but that's what
i'm saying go to carnival You're going to find
all this stuff out on your first cruise, and
it's not going to cost you nearly as much as
any other cruise line. And they're the most relaxed
cruise line, too. And they have many, many more
cruises than any other cruise line offers. So
you can pick out the exact one you want to where
you want on what date you want. So that's my
only suggestion is the rest is you're just going
to have to get in there and see if it's for you.
And that's it. So, Mark. Mark in Asylum Springs,
thank you. I hope it goes well. Write us back.
Yeah. Let us know. Next one. I'm going to Knoblick
soon. I absolutely have to have a selfie with
that sign. I'm going to steal it afterwards.
Then I will hang it from that giant fireplace
statue. Yes. Yes. I don't know if I like that
or not. You know what? No, knob lick is too reverent.
It's too... No, no, no, no, no. Don't get it
near that filthy fireplace. No, no, no. Not on
a statue that is about to disappear. That's right,
yeah. No, let's not disgrace them. We just brought
them into our hearts. Come on. Yes, yes. And
also, I want to clarify that we did not tell
anybody to destroy that statue. No, we did not.
Nope. We are not saying that in any means. We
just say it's a stupid -ass statue. That's all
we say. So, anyhow, the guy went on with this.
He named himself some guy near Gunn City, home
of a tavern and a church, but both burned down
within a year of each other, so now it's Gunn
City is just an intersection. That's what he
signed it as. Gunn City. Gunn City. Gunn City.
Gunn City is over on the east side of Harrisonville,
I think on maybe 7th Highway, possibly, as it
heads up towards maybe Pleasant Hill and that
whole area. Yeah, I think so. I think so. It's
over near kind of East Lynn area, maybe. And
he's right. Well, he's from there, he says, so
he should know. It did have a tavern and a church,
and they both burned down. So it is now just
an intersection. All right. The next one. I hope
you get poison ivy in your asshole, bitch. Clint
in Clarksville. Is that a surprise? Yeah, he's
still around. I would definitely take him to
Narcan. Wade did not help. I haven't gotten down
there yet. As soon as I do, the Narcan's being
here. Oh, shit, you need to. Yeah, and we'll
never hear from him again. You know, Clint, I
wish I could make you stop listening. I wish
I had some way that I could stop your downloads
right in the middle and punch you right in the
face. That would be the best. But, I mean, I
wish I had Biggin's number. I'd pay him to come
down there and give you a fucking ball bite.
And all he'd need is one tooth for your little
bitty gonads there, your little bitty little
fucking chickpea -looking sack. So, anyhow, Clint,
go fuck yourself like always. All right. We have
plenty of weapons, Clint. Yes, yes, Clint. Clint
did write me back, and he told me that he likes
to dress up in a tutu and fondle his hair while
he listens to us. So, anyhow, okay. Next one.
What was Black Sabbath's best album? God, I can't
talk. Sorry. What was Black Sabbath's best album
ever? Ronnie and Tulsa, and he also has the seven,
the list of the theme songs. Oh, he does? Yeah,
he does. Okay, so he asked his best Black Sabbath
album ever. I'm sorry, I was going to... I was
going to send you this today, but the little
accident happened and I didn't get a chance to.
No, that's fine. Honestly, I'm going to have
to go with Black Sabbath, Black Sabbath. I'm
going to go with Heaven and Hell. So, okay. It
just depends. Dude, I mean, who can say what?
No, I like Black Sabbath, Black Sabbath. That's
a great album. I can't argue with that at all.
I also, you know what? No, no, no. I'm going
to stick with that. Stick with that. Heaven and
hell. Okay. Here is the theme songs when you
walk into a room, WWE style, you know, when you
jump in the cage and then all of a sudden there's
a theme song playing. Well, if you're to have
that every time you walk into a room, he wanted
the top seven. We gave our top seven songs. So,
like we always do, it's right back at Ronnie.
We want to know his. His theme song list are
as follows. Number seven, The Zoo by the Scorpions.
That's a pretty... Nice. That's solid. Nice.
Number six, Helter Skelter. Another nice one.
Either Beatles or the Motley version. Okay. Okay.
This is funny. Number five, The Hills Are Alive,
Julie Andrews. Oh, my God. Think about it. Okay.
At first, I thought he was joking. Oh, he's right.
He's right. That would mind fuck someone. They'd
be like, what the hell? Julie Andrews. Yes. Yeah.
I personally love it now. Awesome. Awesome, Ronnie.
Number four is Head Like a Hole. Which is a great
one by Nine Inch Nails. Okay. Number three, Schism
by Tool. Okay. That's a good one. That bass on
it is crazy. Number two, Down With The Sickness
by Disturbed. Okay. And number one, this one,
it didn't do it for me, but Ronnie, you know
what, man, if you like it, I like it. Okay. Jesus
built my hot rod by ministry. So, cool? I'll
give it to him. I give him, to me, look, it's
all subject to how you feel. The Julie Andrews
one was epic, actually. It took me a minute to
figure it out. That was his ha -ha. Yeah. But
schism, I can see. Sickness. Maybe if you like
to stir that well. No, I can just take that.
But Jesus Built My Hot Rod to me was just too
here and there. You know what, Ronnie? He's awesome.
You know what? That's your taste, Ronnie. Yes.
That's your taste, Ronnie. We're not making fun
of you, Ronnie. Thank you for the list. We're
not putting you down none whatsoever. Thank you.
But in return, you have to give us your favorite
Black Sabbath album. Yep. All right. Rob and
Mark, have you ever shit yourself as an adult?
Brian and KCK. Yeah. Yes. Yeah, I had the stomach
flu. This actually wasn't too long ago because
it started when Topher and I was broadcasting
out there at the city market and I started vomiting.
And it's all recorded, dude. Oh, my God. I've
actually got a clip of it somewhere on here.
I've got to find. It started there, and then
I had to have Topher drive us back. Then I got
home, and I was in bed for like two days. Oh,
gosh. It was hell. And I guess you have, too,
any back story on that you want to go to? Mine
was mainly Mexican food and drinking. You had
more fun getting there from there. Yeah. Yeah,
mine was just a fucking stomach flu. I wish mine
was Mexican food and drinking. At least I'd had
some fun out of it. Okay. I wrote a poem for
you guys. Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your
podcast sucks. Mitch in a secret bunker off the
coast of Freeman Lake. A bunker off the coast
of Freeman Lake. Mitch. Bunker. Thank you, Mitch.
Love you. Thank you, Mitch. All right. Next one.
Sure wish they still made Tab Cola. It tastes
better than RC Cola. Tommy and Parsons, Kansas.
You probably do like Tab. That's a sign of an
asshole, isn't it? Anyone that likes Tab Cola
is an asshole. They don't even sell it anymore.
Call them something else. All right. What was
it? Oh, never mind. I can't say that on the air.
It must be bad if you can't say it podcasting.
All right. I'm going to be a nice guy. Okay.
Good enough. Tommy, I hope they make Tab Cola
again just for you. And Parsons, Kansas is one
of the most boring towns ever. And put on your
leg warmers and everything else. Yes. Do your
flat stance look with your legs out. Yeah, yeah.
Holding your hair. Oh, this next one. There's
a couple more here. We got a lot of good emails.
Okay. Hey, what about the bald knobbers? You
got to skip right over them. Thelma in Kimberling
City. She's right. The Bald Dobbers. Oh, love
them. Yeah, down there in Steelyard Dollar City.
Kimberling City. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Kimberling
City. I moved here like those are from Reed Spring
right up the street. Right up the street from
Kimberling City. I love Kimberling City. Oh,
it's gorgeous. Yeah, I used to. I love it right
below the bridge there. So that water, you can
see like eight foot down. Oh, I know. I used
to go to that resort there, Kimberling Inn. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. In a sense, to me, it just went downhill.
They had a giant tornado take off, take out that
Motel 6 that was a part of it. And then after
that, it just didn't seem like they were real
interested in building that place up. They were
supposed to put in a bunch of mini -golf, and
they took out the tavern slash restaurant on
grounds there. So then you couldn't just, like,
you know, go around the resort smashed and not
worrying about having to drive. You had to actually
drive somewhere to get food. And that was like
the first thing. And then it just seemed to me
like they built the new condos in front of it
and you didn't get a view of the lake anymore.
So I don't go there anymore, needless to say.
But, you know, I mean, maybe they, I haven't
been there in a few years. Maybe they kind of,
maybe they perked it back up. I hope they did
because I used to love that place. So, all right.
Then the next one. Remember I asked everybody
about what they were doing instead of Johnny
Dare, right? Right. Okay. Hey, guys. I just want
Dare to podcast. No stupid -ass radio. Just me
and the podcast, and I'm good. I'm sure his podcast
will be very successful. Dave and KC. P .S. The
Rock sucked, except for the morning show. Yeah,
I think it would do very well. I don't know if
he'll do it or not. He doesn't... Seemed to me
like the podcast type, but I don't know. I mean,
he might be. I mean, whether it's radio or podcasting
or something, I hope that isn't the last we've
heard of him. I hope he continues to go on, so
we'll see. I personally think he likes to be
in the public eye. Then he will probably do another
show then, I guess. Yeah, that's my personal
opinion. My prediction, our prediction is still
the same, isn't it? 101 the Fox? 101 to Fox,
eventually. Yeah, eventually when there's non
-compete, whatever they do. Okay. Mark, I still
listen to Fritz in late afternoon and evenings,
but not nearly as much. I'm just not that focused
on the station after the turn of events. John
and Lathrop. I understand it. I understand it,
too. And then this next one's kind of long -winded.
It's about Dare, but they also went into some
other stuff, so bear with me. But I do like the
email. It's complimentary, and that's cool. I'm
glad that they like what we do, and we thank
you. Okay, Mark, you have a very distinctive
voice. I feel like I've heard you on the radio
numerous times before. I know you've never been
on the dial, but you just sound so familiar.
I hear that all the time. I have a very distinct
voice, I know. I really love what you guys are
doing. I know you feel like a lesser talented,
lower cost version of a 90s type rock radio show.
But I listened and was a fan of all those guys
you have mentioned in the past. I was there.
I listened. I was a fan of. You could have never.
Oh, no, no. You could have held your own with
any of those guys. Actually find your hit and
run material refreshing to the older, more shocking
style. I think with a little bit more promotion,
this could be a big hit with certain audiences.
The ideas of your regular show fillers are unique.
I think he's talking about our bits and bumpers
show fillers. Yeah. Yeah, well, thank you. I
mean, I think they're unique. You think they're
unique, right, Rob? Yeah, yeah. They're kind
of fringe of what other people used to do, but
with our own little kick on it, I mean, we're
pretty happy with them. By the way, I have Spotify
and no longer listen to The Rock without Johnny.
I never really listened that much after a show
anyhow. When I got in my car after work, I don't
have The Rock tuned in because of the lack of
their show. Laszlo would even get a bump. From
me, because sometimes I left it on for a bit
until they bored the hell out of me. Now it's
just me and Spotify. Kind of long -winded, I
know. Terry and Toganoxie. Terry, thank you very
much. Very, very much. Thank you, Terry. Well,
living in Toganoxie, you've got a long drive
anyway, so I understand. Yes, yeah. Toganoxie
is a long ways from anywhere. Yeah, I understand.
You've got to have your radio. Yeah. Yeah, Terry,
thank you. And thank you, Terry. Thank you very
much. You know, all the times we sit there and
wonder if stuff's good or not, anytime someone
like Terry bothers to write and say something
like that, it just makes you feel much better.
We're trying to do what we're trying to do, and
that's it. We're not trying to be anyone else.
We know we're not anyone else. We're two normal
guys, just like everybody that's listening to
us. Yeah, yeah, and all we're trying to do is
give somebody some money. We make an hourly wage.
Yes, yep, and we do this on our spare time because
we like doing it because of the passion behind
it. We're not making a dime off of it, and, you
know, quite frankly, we don't care. But, Terry,
thank you, because any time we get anything like
this, honestly, isn't it a boost? Don't you just
feel much better? Yeah, it makes me feel good.
Yeah, and it makes me want to put more into the
show. Yeah, yes. Thank you, Rob. That's a perfect
way of describing it right there. It re -energizes
us because then we're like, you know what? We're
going to get better. Whenever we hear that, first
thing I think is, we haven't even reached what
we're going to be. I think that's with our email
response that is outrageous. I think that's what's
happening to us because I feel we're getting
better and better. I do, too. And like you said,
Our best segment is the emails. The people that
listen to this, they're fantastic. I mean, this
is exactly who we wanted listening to us from
the beginning. People like this, interesting
people that have an interesting view on life,
they have interesting things to say. So, thank
you, Terry. Very much appreciated. And also,
all my life I could never prank anybody because
I have this fucking voice. So, yeah, I know I
sound familiar to everybody. Everybody thinks
they heard me before. So, anyhow, Rob, you got
something? Yeah, I do. I'm going to take us back
40 years. All right, sounds good. Almost 40 years.
I would have felt much better. It's been almost
40 years since Emilio Estevez first drew his...
Revolvers, Billy the Kid, and the iconic Western
Young Deaths. Wow. 40 years. Yeah. Going on 40
years. Okay, that didn't make me feel any younger.
Huh? That didn't make me feel any younger. Go
ahead. No, but I think you're going to like what
I got to say. No, I'm joking around. After a
visit to New Mexico State Capitol on Thursday
during Film and Media Day to announce that he'll
be coming back to where it all started to film
the next installment of the franchise. Wow. He'll
direct Young Guns 3, Dead or Alive, and will
star again as the famous outlaw. includes original
members Lou Donovan Phillips and Christian Slater.
No Emilio Estevez? Huh? No Estevez in it? No.
No, he's coming back as Billy the Kid. Oh, he
is? Okay. Sorry, I'm on Percocet. I probably
missed that. I'm sorry. Estevez said during a
news conference that he's heard jokes. about
whether the title should be Old Guns. The first
Young Guns premiered in 1988. Its success resulted
in a sequel that followed two years later. Both
were filmed in New Mexico. The state has a long
history in the movie -making business. Its stunning
and rugged landscapes were a popular backdrop
for westerns John Wayne. Western starring John
Wayne, Humphrey Bogart, Spencer Tracy, and Kirk
Douglas. It's new home to production hubs for
Netflix and NBCUniversal. Governor Michelle Grissom
on Thursday highlighted Young Guns as one of
the films that helped to establish the state
as a premier filming destination. saying the
next one will add to the legacy. The production
represents exactly what our film incentives are
designed to attract, high -quality projects to
create jobs for new Mexicans while showcasing
our state's extraordinary beauty. Very cool.
Yeah. So they're coming out with A Young Gunster.
And what was the title again? Young Guns 3, what?
Dead or Alive. Dead or Alive. Wow, cool, with
all the originals. Just like the song. I wonder
if they're going to feature that song or not.
I almost bet they do. I bet you they do, too.
And it'd be that crowd. It'd be people like us
watching it, I bet. Wow, that's very cool, man.
That's good to know. That's something to look
forward to. That was a great, great movie. Both
of them. Glad they're coming out with another.
Let's take our second break, and then we'll come
right back. Sounds good. Okay, sounds good. Our
constant pursuit for a real knee slapper. It's
strange insults from an alien. Real hilarity.
Why don't you slip into something more comfortable?
Like a coma. Two bush bags, a microphone, and
an effort to keep everything fresh. We offer
you... First world problems. What the hell? Bridge
construction? Shit. I cannot believe they have
to repair this bridge after 50 years. Man, what
am I going to do now? I can't wake up 10 minutes
earlier just to get to work. This is complete
bullshit. I'm going to write my congressman.
A couple of vibrating toys and some ramblings
of a madman featuring Rob Rad. Drinking coffee
while taking a dump is like using a starter for
it on a running motor. Two Dishbags and Microphone
is the only podcast available anywhere with gusto.
That's right, I said gusto. Gusto is a magical
ingredient in Schlitz beer that makes it so damn
delicious. So enjoy a little gusto with your
podcast today. Yes, it's true. Mark is an old
bastard. It's also true that Mark uses a lot
of ibuprofen. But Mark would like to tell you,
if you see any pictures of him roofing ibuprofen,
it's obviously fake, and you're to take the pictures
and tear them up immediately. Have you ever wondered
what something came about? Have you ever looked
at something and said, hmm, I wonder what the
origin of that is? Well, so have we. That's why
we give you... The origin of... The origin of
the goatee. The goatee is a beard style that
dates back to ancient Greece and Rome and is
named for its resemblance to a goat's beard.
The goatee has been worn by many famous men throughout
history, including Uncle Sam, Henry M. Hoyt,
and Mr. Spock. The gob ham was often depicted
with a goatee, and in medieval and renaissance
art, Satan was depicted with a goatee as well.
The goatee became popular again in the 1940s
as a defining trait of the beatniks and jazz
musicians. It fell out of favor again in the
1960s, but became fashionable again in the 1990s
and 2000s. The term goatee originated in the
late 20th century. It was originally called a
goatee. Strange, but... True. In April 2024,
87 -year -old Joan Behan from Brooklyn was tragically
run over by her own car after playing in it for
20 minutes in her driveway. Having just returned
from a two -hour workout, she stepped out of
her blue 2013 Toyota Corolla, but as she walked
behind the car, it rolled backwards because she
hadn't put it in park. Now, for a limited time
only. Rob Rad's new video series. How to booty
clap and twerk. That's right. Rob shows you his
signature booty clap and how to twerk with ease.
Order today and get a free pair of thongs with
Rob's initials on them. That's right. Rob's initials
on a pair of thongs and learn how to booty clap
with the best. Rob. Two douchebags and a microphone,
the audio equivalent to the meat sweats. Two
douchebags and a microphone, I'm Mark. And I'm
Rob. I am the Kansas City end of this, and what
are you? I will say it's a little place called
Lake of the Ozarks. All right. Okay, so let's
see here. Okay, Rob, I got a question for you.
You live down there at Lake of the Ozarks. How
close was that tornado over to the east side
of you the other night? Are you talking about
Friday night? Yeah. Okay, well, just so you know,
down here, we were not worried about Luckily,
later in the evening, it put out a lot of the
fires. Actually, I have a couple stories here.
We're talking about the same storm. Uh -huh,
and also fires before that and a blizzard just
to the north of us. Well, before that, we had
a bunch of wildfires. Yeah. It wasn't just our
county. No, there's all over southern Missouri,
all over Kansas, southern Kansas, Oklahoma, Texas,
Arkansas. Yeah, they, yeah. Friday afternoon,
Friday afternoon, our shop started filling up
with smoke. Wow. There was an actual fire. at
the Campton Airport. And that's pretty close
to the shop, I remember you saying. That wasn't
the big one. The big one was over around Max
Creek. Okay. There was several homes lost. That's
two. They're saying it pretty much started by
power lines. Uh -huh. in different spots. And
then it just started jumping. Wow. Yeah, and
it caught, okay, our property line at work is
the property line of the airport. The landing
strip is literally right behind us. Oh, wow.
We watch planes come in all day long, you know.
That's kind of cool. There was another, the main
fire was out like around Max Creek. There was
like 500 acres. Wow. And did you say some houses
were destroyed? Yeah, 15 to 25 buildings were
destroyed. Oh, man. Wow, that's a bad fire. The
Hart Creek Nature Area near Hartsburg, they were
evacuated. Kent County down around Salem near
the Indian Trail Conservation Area of the Mark
Twain Forest, that fire burned 750 acres and
destroyed two homes, four vehicles, and two outbuildings.
Wow. No fatalities or injuries have been reported.
That is the best thing. Wow. Yeah, that's the
thing. You guys, let's see. It was by the grace
of God, honestly. There would have been much
more. But meanwhile, Rolla, Missouri. A lot more
homes would have been lost. Yeah. And then on
the other flip side of it, Rolla, Missouri, down
near Springfield, were torn up by big tornadoes.
And St. Louis. Okay, well, Rolla's down there
by Salem. Yeah, and St. Louis, too. They also
got it now, too, that whole area. And Springfield
also. So, yeah, that was a hell of a storm system.
It was very peculiar because there's a blizzard
north, fire south, and east and west were severe
thunderstorms. It was crazy. So, all right, I
just thought I'd get a little report on that.
Thank you, Rob. Okay, I've got this story here
that's interesting. A lady decided she was going
to start living off the grid, and here's how
she did it. She said, I live rent -free in a
shipping container and only spend $330 per month.
And she's not the only one doing this. A lot
of people are doing this. People's heads aren't
the only places that can live rent -free. An
enterprising Scottish woman is bypassing extraordinary
housing costs by living rent -free in a shipping
container, where her expenses total just over
$330 a month. It's amazing to see my ideas coming
together, Robin Swan, 33, told Southwest News,
service of her unconventional living arrangement.
It's quite tolling on your body, but I'd like
to keep living off the grid as long as I can.
The minimalist, whose goal is to become fully
self -sufficient, gets by on the cheap by growing
crops, raising animals, and even harvesting rainwater.
The Scotswoman's dream of living off the grid
began in 2023 when she moved out of her home,
sold all of her possessions, including her car,
furniture, and TV, and remortgaged her house
so she could buy a seven -acre plot of land near
Sterling for around $240 ,000. She then dropped
another $5 ,400 having a 40 -by -8 -foot shipping
container erected on the land for her and her
partner Luke, 29 to live in. Once I bought the
land, we didn't even start in a caravan. We moved
straight into the container and built it around
us, said Swan, who quickly got to work outfitting
her dwellings. Anyhow, they've been living there
for a few years now, and it's going very well.
She said that she doesn't mind living in a box.
and that she is a full -time dog walker, and
that's how she makes her money, and she can live
comfortably off of it. She makes her money dog
walking off the Facebook marketplace, and she
gets about $6 ,500 a month, I guess. A month?
Yeah, okay, that's not bad. I mean, for dog walking,
she later on... How long more money did I make?
Wow, and she only spends $3 .30? Gosh, I bet
she can put away a lot of money. It doesn't sound
like she spends it. Anyhow, she has a fridge,
a freezer, and even a full bathroom with a working
shower and a waterless toilet. Huh? That doesn't
sound good at all. A waterless toilet. Hmm. It's
got to be done with air pressure, I guess, right?
You know, you've got buckets of water down the
toilet every time. I don't know. In other words,
she just don't have water to the toilet. My opinion.
Yeah. Yeah. I've been with her. Okay. Off Marketplace.
Off Marketplace. Okay. Wow. You know, it was
just like, what was the business the other day
we were talking about that took no startup at
all? I can't remember now. Oh, what was it? Yeah,
it was some weird one. Yeah. I can't remember.
Yeah, I can't either. Oh, well. Rob, we turn
to you. I'm going to go a totally different direction
here. Cool. Bare Knuckle Fighting Championship
has picked up the son of the late great boxer
Tommy the Duke Morrison. I didn't know he had
a son. Okay. I did not either. Cool. Wait till
you hear it. Okay. Kenzie Morrison. is a 34 -year
-old heavyweight boxer with an impressive record
of 22 wins, one loss, and two ties with 20 KOs.
Cool. An exciting knockout artist just like his
father, the former heavyweight world champion.
13 of Morris' knockouts. came in the very first
round, making him a force to be reckoned with.
On Tuesday, the BKSC announced they had signed
Morrison to a multi -fight contract. We're very
excited to announce the signing of Kenzie Morrison.
Boss David Thelman said in a press release, I've
watched his ascent. and professional boxing,
I believe his powerful striking will translate
perfectly in our deep heavyweight division. Morris
had last fought November where he scored a first
round knockout over Jackson DeSantos. The pro
boxer enters the BKFC heavyweight championship
at a very interesting time. UFC veteran Ben Rothwell
winning the title in January. Cool. Yeah. Wow.
And Tommy passed away back in 2013. Wow. His
widow lived, right? I mean, she'd be his widow.
Yeah. Okay, so the son's mom is still alive.
And I didn't mention that about her. I'm pretty
sure she lived. She did not get AIDS or HIV even.
Okay. Wow. All right, thanks. I will have a lookout
for him. I wonder what he looks like. I'll have
to look that up. What if he looks like Tommy
Gunn, Tommy Morrison? Well, it was this picture
I'm looking at. Uh -huh. And down below it says
Timmy Morrison Official -Instagram. It looks
just like Tommy Morrison back in the 80s. Oh,
how cool. All right. He's got the little... Yeah,
yeah. Look him up, dude. I will. He looks just
like his daddy. I'll have to do it later because
I'm one -armed right now, but okay. Right, no,
I understand. He looks just like his daddy. Listen,
I know I saw Tommy Morrison get his ass beat
in Westport. I think I told everybody about that.
But I still liked the guy. I mean, I knew he
could be an asshole. I mean, everybody kind of
knew that that lived around Kansas City that
ever had anything to do with any of the entertainment
districts around here knew that he would get
drunk and do stupid shit. But I was still a fan
of him, and I think it's cool that his son is
coming back and doing something like that and
looks just like him. That's pretty cool. Yeah,
if that is the picture of his son, it looks just
like him back in the 80s. Okay, cool. Let me
see. I'm trying to do it one -handed. Here, bear
with me. Kenzie Morrison. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my
gosh. Identical. Identical. That's fucking cool.
If you've seen him walking down the road, you'd
think, oh, my God, that guy looks just like him.
That guy was Tommy Morrison. Yes. Back in the
80s. Even his body structure, everything. Yeah.
Wow, that's fucking cool. Yeah, like you said,
even the bangs. The little curly offshoots. Yeah.
Back the way Tommy Morrison looked in the 80s.
Just like him. Wow. Thank you, Rob. Let's see
here. Do you want to hear about a four -year
-old boy that calls 911 after a bad mom eats
his ice cream? Yes, I do. Okay, little bastard.
The incident occurred last Tuesday in the town
of Mount Pleasant, Wisconsin, located seven miles
west of Racine, which is near Milwaukee, when
police were contacted by a four -year -old boy
who said his mom being bad, according to a statement
released by the Village of Mount Pleasant Police
Department last week. Officer Gardinet and Officer
Ostergaard, they got some easy names up there,
don't they, were dispatched for a 9 -11 hang
-up, authorities said. A little boy called 911
saying his mom was being bad and needed to go
to jail. When officers arrived at their home,
the young boy said his mom ate his ice cream
and needed to go to jail for it. He also told
police that he no longer wanted her to go to
jail and he just wanted some ice cream. Sounds
reasonable, right? Like, hey, that whole jail
thing, don't send her to jail. Just give me some
ice cream, okay? And we can just forget about
it, okay? We just go ahead and call it good.
I like his bargaining. The good -spirited officers
subsequently left the home once they verified
that this was indeed the reason why they had
been called out. But they returned back the next
day, this time to surprise the boy with some
ice cream. After deciding he didn't want mom
in trouble anymore, police said. The responding
officers weren't the only ones to find humor
in the situation either. And I'm one -handed
here, so bear with me. It takes me a minute to
get through this stuff. I'm not saying he's right.
All I'm saying is I understand, said one person
responding to the Village of Mount Pleasant Police
Department's post about the incident on social
media. At least he knows how to call for help,
said another response. That's true, right? He
knows if he gets in trouble, I mean, it may have
been, yeah. It could save someone's life one
day. The officers involved even took a picture
with the four -year -old after the whole incident
was over and were able to find humor in the situation.
Now, Rob, I got a question for you. How bad would
you have got your ass kicked if you did that
to your mom? Oh, fuck. Yeah. Look, I know times
have changed, but, I mean, I wouldn't be able
to sit for three years. Thank you. Are they?
Oh, no. Yeah. And when mom got done with us,
daddy come home from work and get a hold of us.
Oh, that's true. to judge how bad a day your
dad had at work that day, to see how bad you're
going to get your ass kicked. No, I just stay
here. Oh, no, I used to peek out the window.
I used to be like, oh, shit, oh, man. Oh, he's
got that grimace on his face. His boss is screwing
with him all day, and now little Marky's being
a dick. Oh, I was like, oh, man, this is it.
This is it. I'm too young to die. This is it.
So, anyhow. You know, and all I could do at that
point, if I looked out and my dad looked like
he was having a very bad day, was try to plea
bargain with my mom. Oh, come on, man. Look at
him. He's mad already. He's going to kill me.
Please, I'll never do shit again. I'll be the
perfect boy. Usually, I was like, no, by that
time. Wasn't it about the time that you heard,
wait until your dad gets home. That was it. There
was no more discussion. Yeah, that was it. Yeah.
I remember one time I saw the neighbor. He went
to the ice cream man. And he told his mom, he
told the ice cream man that his mom said to charge
it. So I sneak over there. I'm like, hmm, that
worked pretty well. So his mom did say he could
charge it. My mom did not agree to that. Although
I did go up to the ice cream man and I said,
yeah, I'll take a pack of whatever. And I said,
my mom said to charge it. Okay. So in the meanwhile,
while he's going up to talk to my mom about the
charge. I took a bite out of every one of those
ice cream bars so it couldn't be returned. Oh
boy, did I get my ass whipped. I bet. Yeah. Yep,
that's what kind of little asshole I was. Anyhow,
Rob, you got something? Yeah, I do. I'll tell
you what. You give me my choice from time to
time. I'm going to give you your choice. Okay.
You want to, uh... Yeah. Yeah, that does sound
good. That sounds really good, actually. Please.
I want to hear the whacked out, dude. Give me
just a second. Okay, that's fine. Hold up. Or
you can do both of them if you want. Tommy Morrison,
well, not Tommy Morrison Jr., but... Kenzie Morrison
is trying to fight Jake Paul currently. Did you
know that? No, I did not. Yeah, I see this article
right here. He's born in 1990. He's an American
professional boxer. Yeah, I'm pulling mine up.
You've got to forgive me. Okay, that's fine.
I don't know if I could even do goat noises tonight.
You want to hear about the whacked out dude,
huh? You know what? You can go ahead with the
other one. It doesn't matter. Either one of them.
No, I'll do the whacked out dude. Okay. It's
pretty gruesome. Okay. A crazy Florida man who
chopped off a chunk of flesh from a cop's skull
at a local music festival and then complained
hair was stuck in his teeth. Just six years?
Wow. Rob, you there? Yeah, I'm here. Okay. James
Anderson, 37, was sentenced Monday for sinking
his teeth into the head of a Holmes County Sheriff's
deputy, ripping off a hunk of scalp, and exposing
the cop's skull at Soul Fest in Ponce de Leon
on May 5, 2024, according to the state attorney's
office. Violence against our local law enforcement
officers will not be tolerated, and criminals
that make the choice to do so will be held responsible,
Chief Prosecutor Jason Cook said in a statement.
This is the most severe bite wound I have ever
seen in my career as a prosecutor, and this defendant
is going to spend the next several years in prison
paying for his violent actions. was working as
a volunteer at the Four Day Music and Arts Festival
when he tried to snatch his deputy's gun from
his holster before savagely biting down on his
noggin. Okay. Yeah, that's about all I got to
say about that. Yeah, yeah. I mean, if you look
it up, he took this huge chunk out of his top
head. He's only getting six years for that, though?
Gosh. Yeah, six years. That's it. Jeez. Okay,
I don't know what else to say about that. Must
be a first -timer pitch. Who knows? I guess.
Alright, Rob, we're closing in on 9 .30. Do you
want to go ahead and shut this down or do you
want to keep going? No, I've got an early day
tomorrow like normal. Okay. Alright. If this
was a weird episode, trust me. It probably is.
I bet you I sound like garbage. So, anyhow. But
everybody knows why. I'm thinking it's a pretty
good one other than my last story. You know what?
It's probably the drugs. I just think that. So,
anyhow. All right, everybody. Thank you for listening.
Good night, assholes. Good night, assholes. Oh,
no. Looks like the show's over, kids. Mark has
explosive diarrhea and can't afford a wireless
mic. Fear not, assholes. They'll be back invading
your ear holes soon.