WEBVTT 00:00:18.189 --> 00:00:29.429 Hey, you fucking derelicts. It's time for the 00:00:29.429 --> 00:00:33.130 Daily Douchebag Pledge. I, Joe or Jane Listener, 00:00:33.130 --> 00:00:36.409 hereby promise to download the show. I, Joe or 00:00:36.409 --> 00:00:39.079 Jane Listener. Hereby promise to grab other people's 00:00:39.079 --> 00:00:42.020 phones, unattended computers, public computers, 00:00:42.179 --> 00:00:44.939 and all of my work computers as well, and download 00:00:44.939 --> 00:00:48.219 the show from there. I, Joe or Jane Listener, 00:00:48.219 --> 00:00:51.259 hereby promise to make other people listen. I, 00:00:51.299 --> 00:00:54.570 Joe or Jane Listener. will hereby lie to everyone 00:00:54.570 --> 00:00:58.049 about how quality the show is. I, Joe or Jane 00:00:58.049 --> 00:01:00.729 Listener, promise to make all my family members 00:01:00.729 --> 00:01:03.369 listen and recite the daily douchebag pledge. 00:01:03.649 --> 00:01:07.230 And finally, I, Joe or Jane Listener, hereby 00:01:07.230 --> 00:01:09.650 promise to make the trek to Knobloch, Missouri, 00:01:09.829 --> 00:01:12.549 just to have a selfie with the Knobloch sign. 00:01:13.950 --> 00:01:16.810 Here at Two Douchebags and a Microphone, we don't 00:01:16.810 --> 00:01:20.049 stand behind our journalistic integrity. Go ahead 00:01:20.049 --> 00:01:23.209 and assume we got the story wrong. At least we 00:01:23.209 --> 00:01:26.549 admit it. Not like all those other guys, we can 00:01:26.549 --> 00:01:30.909 and will lie if it makes the story better. Two 00:01:30.909 --> 00:01:43.930 douchebags and a microphone. Your mama's so fat, 00:01:44.290 --> 00:01:49.640 she uses Google Earth to take a selfie. As much 00:01:49.640 --> 00:01:51.939 fun as an electric can opener to the scrotum, 00:01:52.060 --> 00:01:57.939 two douchebags and a microphone. And now, Deep 00:01:57.939 --> 00:02:04.700 Thoughts with Mark. Should I record frog sounds 00:02:04.700 --> 00:02:07.599 in the summer, then play them when it's zero 00:02:07.599 --> 00:02:10.479 degrees on my ring doorbell for the Amazon guy? 00:02:11.159 --> 00:02:21.229 Hmm. Yeah, that sounds like fun. Deep Thoughts 00:02:21.229 --> 00:02:28.750 with Mark. Hmm, let's see. If I identify as a 00:02:28.750 --> 00:02:31.090 dog and I start wandering around the block without 00:02:31.090 --> 00:02:33.650 a collar on, could animal control come by and 00:02:33.650 --> 00:02:43.710 pick me up? Hmm, I may never know. Two douchebags, 00:02:43.789 --> 00:02:45.750 a microphone, and an effort to keep everything 00:02:45.750 --> 00:02:50.919 fresh. We offer you... First world problems. 00:02:52.500 --> 00:02:56.340 I can't believe the coffee grinder is broke at 00:02:56.340 --> 00:03:01.680 the big box store. There's no way I can be expected 00:03:01.680 --> 00:03:04.979 to grind my coffee beans every damn morning. 00:03:13.819 --> 00:03:17.990 Two douchebags and a microphone. operating from 00:03:17.990 --> 00:03:19.889 Kansas City, Missouri. I am the Mark portion 00:03:19.889 --> 00:03:25.770 of it. And I am Rob at Lake of the Ozarks. Beautiful 00:03:25.770 --> 00:03:27.689 Lake of the Ozarks. I got to looking at some 00:03:27.689 --> 00:03:31.870 resorts there today. 82 degrees when I got off 00:03:31.870 --> 00:03:34.969 work today, bro. Oh, nice. It was gorgeous. It 00:03:34.969 --> 00:03:36.990 was about 78 here, but that was good enough. 00:03:37.030 --> 00:03:42.099 I was happy with 78. It was beautiful. We had 00:03:42.099 --> 00:03:44.240 a few thin clouds, I think. Otherwise, it would 00:03:44.240 --> 00:03:47.219 have been 82 here, too. But I have no complaints 00:03:47.219 --> 00:03:49.939 except for the poison ivy I got out in the yard. 00:03:50.819 --> 00:03:53.219 Picking up wounds. Oh, you did get it. Oh, yeah. 00:03:53.340 --> 00:03:57.620 Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, I got it. It finds me, I 00:03:57.620 --> 00:04:01.939 swear. It just sits there and it lays low. It's 00:04:01.939 --> 00:04:04.500 like, okay, everyone, be quiet. There he is. 00:04:04.599 --> 00:04:07.479 Go get him. Fucking jump on me. Now I got it 00:04:07.479 --> 00:04:09.819 little pieces here, little pieces there. And 00:04:09.819 --> 00:04:11.659 believe me, by tomorrow it'll connect the dots. 00:04:11.800 --> 00:04:14.560 It always does. I'll have some on my toe. I'll 00:04:14.560 --> 00:04:16.160 have some on my finger. I'll have some on my 00:04:16.160 --> 00:04:18.279 forehead. By the time it's done, it'll work us 00:04:18.279 --> 00:04:20.519 all the way up and down. Ugh, I fucking hate 00:04:20.519 --> 00:04:23.620 that stuff. But, you know, all the damage that 00:04:23.620 --> 00:04:26.180 the two blizzards did and the stuff in between, 00:04:26.360 --> 00:04:29.850 I got it picked up and cut. But I mean, you know, 00:04:29.870 --> 00:04:32.490 at the price of getting poison ivy, if it gets 00:04:32.490 --> 00:04:34.250 too bad, I'm just going to call the doctor and 00:04:34.250 --> 00:04:37.350 say, hey, send me a steroid pack or send me a 00:04:37.350 --> 00:04:39.790 script for a steroid pack and just get rid of 00:04:39.790 --> 00:04:42.209 the shit real quick. Because steroid will get 00:04:42.209 --> 00:04:45.740 rid of it just like that. A steroid pack. You 00:04:45.740 --> 00:04:48.279 take five at first, then four, then three, then 00:04:48.279 --> 00:04:51.319 two, then one. By the time you're done with the 00:04:51.319 --> 00:04:54.360 five the first day, it's already almost gone. 00:04:55.899 --> 00:04:58.000 I'm just looking at it because I'm not going 00:04:58.000 --> 00:04:59.620 to deal with this shit anymore. I'm tired of 00:04:59.620 --> 00:05:01.699 it. I'll just go ahead and take the steroids, 00:05:01.860 --> 00:05:04.019 get hungry and cranky, and get rid of that bullshit. 00:05:05.500 --> 00:05:08.699 Anyhow, I was going up to the city market Tuesday. 00:05:09.579 --> 00:05:11.399 Topher had to bow out. He wasn't feeling well. 00:05:11.420 --> 00:05:14.079 He had a bad migraine. So I asked him today, 00:05:14.160 --> 00:05:16.240 too, how he was doing. He said he still wasn't 00:05:16.240 --> 00:05:18.540 doing well. So hopefully he gets to feeling better 00:05:18.540 --> 00:05:22.600 because migraines suck. So anyhow, I counted 00:05:22.600 --> 00:05:24.500 my way up there, which is about an eight -mile 00:05:24.500 --> 00:05:27.279 stretch from my house to the city market. Eight 00:05:27.279 --> 00:05:29.720 times. I'm not kidding you. Eight times I would 00:05:29.720 --> 00:05:31.860 have been hit by another vehicle if I wasn't 00:05:31.860 --> 00:05:36.029 a defensive driver, right? Meanwhile, my insurance 00:05:36.029 --> 00:05:37.970 rates are fucking ridiculous. You know, we just 00:05:37.970 --> 00:05:42.470 got that new Jeep. And then my other Jeep, the 00:05:42.470 --> 00:05:48.149 one that I've had, it's ridiculous too. No movement 00:05:48.149 --> 00:05:51.709 violation, no wreck of my fault or anybody others 00:05:51.709 --> 00:05:54.730 in 10 plus years. And they're still just skyrocketing. 00:05:54.810 --> 00:05:57.819 And it's due to people like this. You know, I 00:05:57.819 --> 00:06:00.079 mean, should I like, you know, maybe dash cam 00:06:00.079 --> 00:06:02.379 record all these asshole driver near misses for 00:06:02.379 --> 00:06:04.600 a week and send it in my insurance company and 00:06:04.600 --> 00:06:06.439 maybe they could cut me a fucking break, maybe? 00:06:08.319 --> 00:06:12.259 You know, what we're doing is... There are insurance 00:06:12.259 --> 00:06:15.139 companies that give you something to plug on 00:06:15.139 --> 00:06:19.160 into your dash or whatever. There is? Fill me 00:06:19.160 --> 00:06:23.980 in. I didn't know. No, they advertise it on TV. 00:06:25.120 --> 00:06:34.250 Hmm. Oh, yeah, yeah. That's like that Allstate 00:06:34.250 --> 00:06:37.009 thing. And you get money back for being a good... 00:06:37.009 --> 00:06:38.889 You know what? That might be something to check 00:06:38.889 --> 00:06:42.730 into, Rob. Thank you. Okay, well, all right. 00:06:43.550 --> 00:06:45.209 You know, but, you know, we're showing out all 00:06:45.209 --> 00:06:46.829 these bucks because these people aren't paying 00:06:46.829 --> 00:06:49.290 attention, the idiots behind the wheel. And a 00:06:49.290 --> 00:06:51.689 good percentage of them, the other problem is, 00:06:51.750 --> 00:06:53.569 a good percentage of them don't have a policy 00:06:53.569 --> 00:06:56.029 anyhow, so they don't care. You know, they hit 00:06:56.029 --> 00:06:57.990 you, they fucking jump out, and they run off, 00:06:58.149 --> 00:07:00.819 and they don't care about the car. You know, 00:07:00.839 --> 00:07:02.980 it's an old car. They're not insured. They don't 00:07:02.980 --> 00:07:05.899 give a shit. And then if you do get who they 00:07:05.899 --> 00:07:08.220 are, you're not going to get money out of them. 00:07:08.279 --> 00:07:10.139 They're just going to go, eh, go ahead and sue 00:07:10.139 --> 00:07:14.180 me. I won't show up and I won't pay. At best, 00:07:14.360 --> 00:07:18.199 they have liability. Yeah, at best, but probably 00:07:18.199 --> 00:07:22.819 not even that. And, you know, and in the usual, 00:07:22.860 --> 00:07:24.480 the people with some common sense behind the 00:07:24.480 --> 00:07:26.579 wheel are being outnumbered by the mentally deficient 00:07:26.579 --> 00:07:31.920 dolts. You know what? I'll be done with this 00:07:31.920 --> 00:07:33.240 here in a minute. I just got to vent a little 00:07:33.240 --> 00:07:35.600 bit. I know you will be. You know, here's what 00:07:35.600 --> 00:07:37.680 I'd love to see, though, Rob. A non -insured 00:07:37.680 --> 00:07:40.600 lane and an insured lane. Let all the dumb shits 00:07:40.600 --> 00:07:42.759 get smacked in their lane. Let all the people 00:07:42.759 --> 00:07:44.379 that have to pay for this high -ass insurance, 00:07:44.720 --> 00:07:47.220 they will be behaving in the insurance lane. 00:07:47.839 --> 00:07:49.699 So right off the bat. That will never happen. 00:07:49.779 --> 00:07:51.319 I know it won't happen. It will never happen. 00:07:51.620 --> 00:07:52.939 I know it won't happen, but I would fucking love 00:07:52.939 --> 00:07:55.459 it. They don't allow uninsured owners, but people 00:07:55.459 --> 00:07:58.550 do it anyway. Yeah. Yeah, it would be great, 00:07:58.589 --> 00:08:01.009 though. I'm in an insured lane. You fuck stay 00:08:01.009 --> 00:08:03.089 over there. Go ahead and kill each other, whatever. 00:08:03.410 --> 00:08:05.569 So, you know, also we're paying to see a fucking 00:08:05.569 --> 00:08:09.029 emu and a lizard, a caveman, and a bit of Jake 00:08:09.029 --> 00:08:12.990 mix in, you know. How about an insurance company 00:08:12.990 --> 00:08:16.009 that, like, it kicks off a month of advertising, 00:08:16.370 --> 00:08:18.470 let you know there's going to be no more expensive 00:08:18.470 --> 00:08:21.269 advertisement campaigns, but you have to jot 00:08:21.269 --> 00:08:24.029 down the number and the website to keep it. Smart 00:08:24.029 --> 00:08:27.310 people retain the number and info. And then the 00:08:27.310 --> 00:08:29.269 mouth breathers will not, right? They'll forget 00:08:29.269 --> 00:08:30.730 about it and they'll just, you know, they'll 00:08:30.730 --> 00:08:32.549 go get Jake from State Farm or what the fuck 00:08:32.549 --> 00:08:34.610 ever. You know, you can call it like word of 00:08:34.610 --> 00:08:37.690 mouth insurance company. And I mean, we are paying 00:08:37.690 --> 00:08:40.789 a lot for the fucking emu and the lizard and 00:08:40.789 --> 00:08:43.429 all of these campaigns that they, you know, I 00:08:43.429 --> 00:08:47.049 mean, they advertise constantly. Even the general, 00:08:47.149 --> 00:08:50.070 even others are cheap. Yeah, the general did 00:08:50.070 --> 00:08:53.009 too good a job about being cheap insurance because 00:08:53.009 --> 00:08:55.679 they became a joke. Everyone was like going, 00:08:55.720 --> 00:08:58.139 oh, you got the general. It was so bad that they 00:08:58.139 --> 00:09:00.940 had to do advertisements to counter that and 00:09:00.940 --> 00:09:03.919 go, hey, I was wrong. They are a quality insurance 00:09:03.919 --> 00:09:08.240 company. Yeah, they went out and got shot. Yeah, 00:09:08.279 --> 00:09:10.460 they had to because people were making fun of 00:09:10.460 --> 00:09:12.120 that little bastard with a helmet and going, 00:09:12.159 --> 00:09:15.620 oh, you got the general. You're slumming. Yeah, 00:09:17.179 --> 00:09:19.860 they really did too good on that one because 00:09:19.860 --> 00:09:25.480 people were like, oh, this thing's a joke. Actually, 00:09:25.899 --> 00:09:36.740 I've used them before. I used them on one vehicle. 00:09:41.179 --> 00:09:53.840 Yes, yes. I remember that. ads for it. And anyhow, 00:09:53.899 --> 00:09:57.120 I used that for a while. But that was back when 00:09:57.120 --> 00:09:59.759 I had that SR -22 because I did dumb shit and 00:09:59.759 --> 00:10:02.220 I was running into everything constantly. So, 00:10:02.279 --> 00:10:05.899 anyhow. Anyhow, we do really well here in the 00:10:05.899 --> 00:10:10.580 greater Kansas City Metroplex, right? Here's 00:10:10.580 --> 00:10:13.000 what I'd like to know. What are people doing 00:10:13.000 --> 00:10:15.740 in place of Johnny Dare Morning Show? Are they 00:10:15.740 --> 00:10:19.500 streaming? Are they doing satellite? We want 00:10:19.500 --> 00:10:22.590 your feedback. We're curious. Did you swear off 00:10:22.590 --> 00:10:26.090 98 .9 after the layoff? What happened? Are you 00:10:26.090 --> 00:10:30.090 still listening to 98 .9? I figured we would 00:10:30.090 --> 00:10:32.629 have had some emails by now. Well, we do have 00:10:32.629 --> 00:10:35.450 a little bit. Not as much as I wanted, though. 00:10:35.529 --> 00:10:38.230 Not as much as I wanted. I thought more people 00:10:38.230 --> 00:10:42.470 were going to be venting or something, but really 00:10:42.470 --> 00:10:45.899 not too much of that. I want to know what people 00:10:45.899 --> 00:10:48.220 are doing, so here's your invite to please email 00:10:48.220 --> 00:10:52.179 us, doucheb66 at yahoo .com. I believe it's working 00:10:52.179 --> 00:10:55.120 now. I think it's working again. Yeah, we keep 00:10:55.120 --> 00:10:59.279 forgetting to give it up. I know. I know. So 00:10:59.279 --> 00:11:01.480 we get the same, like, ten people like Mitch. 00:11:01.799 --> 00:11:04.980 Mitch is constantly badgering us with shit. So 00:11:04.980 --> 00:11:12.610 anyhow. I like Mitch. Mitch, he's a terrorist. 00:11:12.830 --> 00:11:18.230 He sneaks in, throws a bomb, and runs off. Actually, 00:11:19.090 --> 00:11:24.169 he's pretty clever. I mean, he really is. I think 00:11:24.169 --> 00:11:27.750 he'd be a neat guy to know. So, Mitch, keep the 00:11:27.750 --> 00:11:29.649 little zingers coming. We love him. It makes 00:11:29.649 --> 00:11:33.169 everything more interesting, you know. He's like 00:11:33.169 --> 00:11:34.850 that puncher that runs in there and throws a 00:11:34.850 --> 00:11:37.519 jab and then runs off. He's like, bam, there 00:11:37.519 --> 00:11:42.000 you go, bye. Yeah, so. Okay, so you know that 00:11:42.000 --> 00:11:44.899 Odyssey, previous, they took off 96 .5 The Buzz, 00:11:45.039 --> 00:11:46.919 and they made it into an all -sports station, 00:11:47.039 --> 00:11:51.879 right? Yeah, they did. 96 .5 The Buzz is no more. 00:11:52.220 --> 00:11:55.500 And they made it to FM Sports Station, which 00:11:55.500 --> 00:12:02.960 is the home base for Royals and Chiefs both. 00:12:03.470 --> 00:12:08.029 They are both on the same channel now, the home 00:12:08.029 --> 00:12:10.330 of the, I forgot what they call them, flagship. 00:12:11.629 --> 00:12:17.509 Both flagship stations are 96 .5 for the Royals 00:12:17.509 --> 00:12:20.830 and the Chiefs, and they got them all under one 00:12:20.830 --> 00:12:24.889 umbrella now. And so 96 .5, the fan is doing 00:12:24.889 --> 00:12:27.529 really well. So I'm getting the feeling that 00:12:27.529 --> 00:12:30.950 Laszlo is probably being kept because the Rock's 00:12:30.950 --> 00:12:33.549 going to transfer. transform into an alternative 00:12:33.549 --> 00:12:37.409 leaning rock station, like 98 .9 The X or 98 00:12:37.409 --> 00:12:40.330 .9 The Edge or something like that. That's what 00:12:40.330 --> 00:12:43.529 I think is going on, because I think what Odyssey 00:12:43.529 --> 00:12:46.549 did was they looked at it, and they said, you 00:12:46.549 --> 00:12:49.210 know, we have a lot of overlap on these advertisers 00:12:49.210 --> 00:12:52.289 between The Rock and The Buzz, and The Rock had 00:12:52.289 --> 00:12:57.090 a lot of overlap with 101 The Fox, too. So now, 00:12:57.250 --> 00:13:01.590 instead of hearing Pink Floyd on The Rock, you're 00:13:01.590 --> 00:13:03.529 going to probably hear something alternative 00:13:03.529 --> 00:13:07.509 mixed in with rock, harder -edged rock. So I 00:13:07.509 --> 00:13:09.909 think that's what's going to happen is they're 00:13:09.909 --> 00:13:13.309 changing the station format enough to where they 00:13:13.309 --> 00:13:15.830 can get away with putting Laszlo because he's 00:13:15.830 --> 00:13:19.309 on an alternative station for years on the buzz, 00:13:19.490 --> 00:13:22.830 right? So that's my feeling of what they're going 00:13:22.830 --> 00:13:25.169 to do. I could be completely wrong, but remember 00:13:25.169 --> 00:13:27.850 I said that. And we've also been talking about 00:13:27.850 --> 00:13:31.230 Johnny going to the Fox. So we'll see. But that's 00:13:31.230 --> 00:13:33.009 my prediction is it's just going to become an 00:13:33.009 --> 00:13:35.110 alternative rock station. And they're going to 00:13:35.110 --> 00:13:36.990 throw them on in the mornings. All right. We 00:13:36.990 --> 00:13:40.649 got our morning show already and probably more 00:13:40.649 --> 00:13:43.250 affordable and all that. So, you know, they're 00:13:43.250 --> 00:13:46.190 just going to tweak 98 .9 into more alternative 00:13:46.190 --> 00:13:49.610 rock and then get the buzz listeners and the 00:13:49.610 --> 00:13:52.230 rock listeners. together as much as they can. 00:13:52.409 --> 00:13:54.490 Some people are going to resist and go, I don't 00:13:54.490 --> 00:13:57.950 know. I've got to hear my Metallica. I've got 00:13:57.950 --> 00:14:00.590 to hear my Five Finger Death Punch. I don't want 00:14:00.590 --> 00:14:03.549 to hear it with Violent Femmes or something. 00:14:05.409 --> 00:14:10.710 So anyhow, we'll see if this happens, but I think 00:14:10.710 --> 00:14:12.250 if they did that, that would probably be the 00:14:12.250 --> 00:14:16.049 most logical idea. That way you've got your own 00:14:16.049 --> 00:14:18.389 market. You're not trying to get from the Fox 00:14:18.389 --> 00:14:21.179 or nothing. You're over here with Rock instead 00:14:21.179 --> 00:14:24.100 of active rock that overlaps into the Fox because 00:14:24.100 --> 00:14:27.080 the Fox plays Nirvana. They play Alice in Chains 00:14:27.080 --> 00:14:30.240 now. You know, they even play Creed because all 00:14:30.240 --> 00:14:32.379 that stuff is 30 years old and it's considered 00:14:32.379 --> 00:14:38.960 classic rock. Everything that the Rock used to 00:14:38.960 --> 00:14:42.179 play. Yes. So I'm thinking what's going to happen 00:14:42.179 --> 00:14:43.980 is they're just going to tweak it a little bit 00:14:43.980 --> 00:14:47.700 and it's going to be 98 .9 The X, 98 .9 The Edge, 00:14:47.840 --> 00:14:50.309 whatever, something like that. And then you're 00:14:50.309 --> 00:14:52.169 going to see it transform into that and probably 00:14:52.169 --> 00:14:54.529 Laszlo do mornings. Because I just could not 00:14:54.529 --> 00:14:59.509 imagine a station having no morning show, but 00:14:59.509 --> 00:15:01.950 an afternoon show. You see what I mean? That 00:15:01.950 --> 00:15:05.549 defies logic. You know, on radio as we know it. 00:15:06.549 --> 00:15:09.129 But anyhow, it's something slightly different. 00:15:09.330 --> 00:15:12.210 This highlight shit is at an all -time annoyance 00:15:12.210 --> 00:15:16.129 level. You know, now you just get people highlighting 00:15:16.129 --> 00:15:18.450 some garbage on Facebook. that you don't give 00:15:18.450 --> 00:15:20.450 a shit about. You know, they highlight all the 00:15:20.450 --> 00:15:23.309 people that wished someone on your friends list 00:15:23.309 --> 00:15:25.690 a happy birthday, right? So you get this highlight, 00:15:25.970 --> 00:15:30.110 okay? And then you get this notice that says, 00:15:30.269 --> 00:15:33.070 so -and -so was mentioned in a highlight, okay? 00:15:33.409 --> 00:15:35.529 And you get these things all over your feed. 00:15:35.629 --> 00:15:38.009 And it's just because someone wished somebody 00:15:38.009 --> 00:15:40.450 a happy birthday. And instead of just saying, 00:15:40.549 --> 00:15:43.340 hey, everybody. Thank you, guys, everybody that 00:15:43.340 --> 00:15:45.200 wished me a happy birthday. They have to fucking 00:15:45.200 --> 00:15:47.179 highlight it, and it pisses me off because then 00:15:47.179 --> 00:15:50.799 it interrupts my feed. So, anyhow, I think what 00:15:50.799 --> 00:15:52.700 I'm going to do, Rob, is this right here. Every 00:15:52.700 --> 00:15:55.059 morning, I'm going to highlight an open letter 00:15:55.059 --> 00:15:57.240 to everyone saying, hey, I just thought I would 00:15:57.240 --> 00:15:59.519 highlight something to waste your fucking time 00:15:59.519 --> 00:16:02.799 like you did me. P .S., you stop, I'll stop. 00:16:04.159 --> 00:16:06.480 Do you know what I mean? Do you see this shit 00:16:06.480 --> 00:16:08.259 all the time now, too? It's annoying as hell, 00:16:08.340 --> 00:16:11.659 isn't it? It's like... I don't give a shit if 00:16:11.659 --> 00:16:13.500 my friend wished you a happy birthday and you 00:16:13.500 --> 00:16:15.539 don't have to fucking let me know by highlighting 00:16:15.539 --> 00:16:17.840 it. Quit doing the lazy shit and just say, hey 00:16:17.840 --> 00:16:19.840 guys, thanks a lot. Or go like their post or 00:16:19.840 --> 00:16:22.399 love it or whatever or say thank you. But don't 00:16:22.399 --> 00:16:23.799 involve me in it because I don't know who the 00:16:23.799 --> 00:16:28.179 fuck you are and I don't care. So, anyhow. So, 00:16:28.220 --> 00:16:31.200 anyhow. So, right now is that weird time of year 00:16:31.200 --> 00:16:33.639 where you have two kinds of people, right? They're 00:16:33.639 --> 00:16:36.720 the ones that are refusing to let winter go. 00:16:36.919 --> 00:16:38.879 And they're wearing a heavy jacket and long pants. 00:16:39.059 --> 00:16:41.539 And the others that are all in on summer with 00:16:41.539 --> 00:16:43.779 the tank tops and the shorts. It doesn't seem 00:16:43.779 --> 00:16:46.860 like there's any way about it. You know, there's 00:16:46.860 --> 00:16:48.740 either one or the other, right? They're either 00:16:48.740 --> 00:16:51.440 like all buttoned up with these huge winter coats. 00:16:52.000 --> 00:16:55.539 Or they're like wearing just full on summer gear. 00:16:55.740 --> 00:16:59.580 It's weird. So, anyhow. And that's all I got 00:16:59.580 --> 00:17:02.100 for all this stuff right here. I got emails and 00:17:02.100 --> 00:17:04.640 stuff like that for later. But anyhow, Rob, you 00:17:04.640 --> 00:17:09.960 got something? Yeah, I do. All right. Actually, 00:17:10.140 --> 00:17:14.619 there's a little politics involved, but you'll 00:17:14.619 --> 00:17:18.599 understand it. Okay. You're going to love it. 00:17:19.160 --> 00:17:31.910 Okay. between the United States and Canada has 00:17:31.910 --> 00:17:36.349 never been more intense. That's because, for 00:17:36.349 --> 00:17:38.950 the most part, the two neighboring countries 00:17:38.950 --> 00:17:42.750 have generally been neighborly. But now that 00:17:42.750 --> 00:17:45.710 President Donald Trump, Prime Minister Justin 00:17:45.710 --> 00:17:48.769 Trudeau aren't seeing eye -to -eye on tariffs, 00:17:49.250 --> 00:17:52.369 America and Canada are experiencing some tension. 00:17:53.349 --> 00:17:57.849 Canada's Liberal Party recently chose Mark Carney 00:17:57.849 --> 00:18:32.720 to Okay. Probably not. Okay. Okay. I like Moosehead. 00:18:32.819 --> 00:18:38.059 Moosehead Beer. Yep. Which was founded in 1867, 00:18:38.400 --> 00:18:41.799 the same year Canada was founded. Wow. It came 00:18:41.799 --> 00:18:45.460 up with a way to encourage Canadians to buy local. 00:18:46.359 --> 00:18:50.119 They put together a case of beer that dwarfs 00:18:50.119 --> 00:18:57.779 all other cases of beer. You know, I report on 00:18:57.779 --> 00:19:19.710 some pretty good cases. Mm -hmm. Yeah. There's 00:19:19.710 --> 00:19:22.829 a reason why they came to that specific number. 00:19:23.009 --> 00:19:30.470 I would like to hear this. 1 ,461 cans of Moosehead. 00:19:31.150 --> 00:19:34.230 Just enough caddy and loggers to get through 00:19:34.230 --> 00:19:40.430 a full presidential term. The presidential pack 00:19:40.430 --> 00:20:32.470 is only available because... It's clever. And 00:20:32.470 --> 00:20:40.849 it's a great gimmick. Well, okay. Look, the Canadian 00:20:40.849 --> 00:20:44.710 citizens, like us, have nothing to do with this, 00:20:44.750 --> 00:20:48.589 okay? The politics are the politics, okay? The 00:20:48.589 --> 00:20:52.069 trade deficit and the tariffs and all that have 00:20:52.069 --> 00:20:54.970 nothing to do with the average citizens. So we're 00:20:54.970 --> 00:20:57.069 not over here hating at the people over there. 00:20:57.450 --> 00:21:00.960 What we're doing is we're like going, Well, you 00:21:00.960 --> 00:21:02.720 know what? Isn't there a fairer way of doing 00:21:02.720 --> 00:21:05.019 business? I mean, I believe that's what's going 00:21:05.019 --> 00:21:07.259 on, right? And I believe that's how come you're 00:21:07.259 --> 00:21:10.359 having these standoffs is because our president, 00:21:10.460 --> 00:21:12.599 and I'm not saying he's right or wrong, he feels 00:21:12.599 --> 00:21:14.220 like we're getting ripped off on the tariffs, 00:21:14.380 --> 00:21:16.420 and he's trying to make the playing field more 00:21:16.420 --> 00:21:20.180 even for us, okay? But then, you know, half of 00:21:20.180 --> 00:21:23.339 my relatives are in Canada, okay? It has nothing 00:21:23.339 --> 00:21:27.670 to do with the people of Canada. Yeah. Man, I 00:21:27.670 --> 00:21:29.990 have a lot of Canadian friends. I'm up there 00:21:29.990 --> 00:21:33.049 every year, usually. You know, COVID kind of 00:21:33.049 --> 00:21:35.210 put a damper on that. But other than that, I'm 00:21:35.210 --> 00:21:38.029 usually up there every year. And I have a lot 00:21:38.029 --> 00:21:40.450 of Canadian friends, and they're all lovely people, 00:21:40.569 --> 00:21:44.450 great people. So I think that's something we've 00:21:44.450 --> 00:21:46.269 got to keep in mind is there are people like 00:21:46.269 --> 00:21:47.829 us. They're just sitting there watching news 00:21:47.829 --> 00:21:49.630 going, oh, fuck, I wish I could get this thing 00:21:49.630 --> 00:21:51.829 figured out. I don't like being at odds with 00:21:51.829 --> 00:21:54.210 them. You know, they're our friends. They're 00:21:54.210 --> 00:21:58.640 supposed to be our allies. So, yeah. I mean, 00:21:58.720 --> 00:22:04.559 I'll put it like if there was a couple of Canadians 00:22:04.559 --> 00:22:06.779 and a couple of Americans in a bar, they wouldn't 00:22:06.779 --> 00:22:09.640 start fighting. You know, they'd just be talking. 00:22:10.259 --> 00:22:12.740 Yeah, they'd be like, hey, what's the weather 00:22:12.740 --> 00:22:14.299 like up there and all that? You know, they wouldn't 00:22:14.299 --> 00:22:16.099 even bring up the shit. They'd be like, okay, 00:22:16.240 --> 00:22:19.680 you know, that's whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah, 00:22:19.700 --> 00:22:26.539 cold. So, and also, I want to add this here real 00:22:26.539 --> 00:22:30.319 quick. Are you done with the story, Rob? Yeah, 00:22:30.319 --> 00:22:33.480 yeah, I'm done with that. Okay. I'm still working 00:22:33.480 --> 00:22:36.720 out the logistics of getting on YouTube because 00:22:36.720 --> 00:22:39.200 I think YouTube is where we need to be according 00:22:39.200 --> 00:22:43.240 to everybody, not even TikTok. From what I understand, 00:22:43.319 --> 00:22:46.220 YouTube has the best platform for something like 00:22:46.220 --> 00:22:49.900 this and the easiest distribution method, too. 00:22:50.900 --> 00:22:54.200 And then you can also go live on YouTube. so 00:22:54.200 --> 00:22:57.599 you know we could just see that that's what i'm 00:22:57.599 --> 00:23:00.259 getting a lot of buzz on the street people keep 00:23:00.259 --> 00:23:04.759 asking are you live now we record because we 00:23:04.759 --> 00:23:12.099 had like our our commercials yeah which we can 00:23:12.099 --> 00:23:15.759 add on the audio version of it easily so it's 00:23:15.759 --> 00:23:19.160 like this we could keep doing both if you want 00:23:19.160 --> 00:23:21.779 the regular version that we that this is going 00:23:21.779 --> 00:23:25.069 to be like this You can just get that, or you 00:23:25.069 --> 00:23:26.789 can watch a live one, then go back and hear all 00:23:26.789 --> 00:23:29.069 the ha -ha's in the middle, or hopefully ha -ha's. 00:23:29.349 --> 00:23:31.190 Speaking of that, what do you think of the new 00:23:31.190 --> 00:23:36.190 pledge? I love it. I love it. Okay, good. I liked 00:23:36.190 --> 00:23:38.109 it, too. I think I'm going to tweak it a little 00:23:38.109 --> 00:23:40.990 bit and put a little bit of noise behind it. 00:23:41.009 --> 00:23:44.509 Knoblick is it. It's official. Yes, Knoblick 00:23:44.509 --> 00:23:47.130 is it. You got it. I even got a bit about the 00:23:47.130 --> 00:23:51.029 information on Knoblick. It is named after the 00:23:51.029 --> 00:23:56.539 Knoblick Mountain. Right behind it. It is mostly 00:23:56.539 --> 00:24:00.619 a conservation area with a little bitty unincorporated 00:24:00.619 --> 00:24:03.400 town in front of the conservation area. But you'll 00:24:03.400 --> 00:24:05.140 hear all that because it's all in a bit that 00:24:05.140 --> 00:24:08.019 I'm going to put in probably this episode. So 00:24:08.019 --> 00:24:11.140 Knoblick is our new darling. Knoblick is a new 00:24:11.140 --> 00:24:14.039 guy. He's a new guy in town. And we plan on keeping 00:24:14.039 --> 00:24:15.900 him because Knoblick has a pretty fucking cool 00:24:15.900 --> 00:24:28.940 name, doesn't he? Yes. Yes. Yes. And anyone's 00:24:28.940 --> 00:24:31.480 wondering where all this came from? The blizzard 00:24:31.480 --> 00:24:36.220 that happened around here, I was watching the 00:24:36.220 --> 00:24:39.799 news. It was like Fox News Weather, Fox Weather 00:24:39.799 --> 00:24:42.880 News or Channel, Weather Channel, Fox News Weather 00:24:42.880 --> 00:24:45.579 Channel or AccuWeather. It wasn't the Weather 00:24:45.579 --> 00:24:49.680 Channel, but it was one of them. And it had knob 00:24:49.680 --> 00:24:54.730 lick, knob rub. I think Knob Rub was like maybe 00:24:54.730 --> 00:24:57.569 in West Virginia or something. But they had all 00:24:57.569 --> 00:25:01.829 these suggestive names in a row. Like I said, 00:25:01.869 --> 00:25:03.809 Knoblick got nine and a half inches of snow. 00:25:04.009 --> 00:25:06.470 And I'm like, that's funny. Then Knob Rub got 00:25:06.470 --> 00:25:08.849 eight inches of snow. And I'm like, oh. And then 00:25:08.849 --> 00:25:11.650 I forgot what the third one was. But every one 00:25:11.650 --> 00:25:14.450 of them was like really suggestive. So somebody 00:25:14.450 --> 00:25:17.579 working the scroller had a little fun. And I 00:25:17.579 --> 00:25:19.099 don't think that anybody, like, really caught 00:25:19.099 --> 00:25:21.460 it or anything, except for some idiot like me 00:25:21.460 --> 00:25:23.000 that's just sitting there brain dead watching 00:25:23.000 --> 00:25:26.200 the scroller. So, hey, I'm just sitting here 00:25:26.200 --> 00:25:30.299 fucking rolling. With our mentality. Yes, yeah. 00:25:30.619 --> 00:25:32.720 Well, I mean, you know, we've got 13 -year -old 00:25:32.720 --> 00:25:35.500 boy humor here. And that's what I saw when I 00:25:35.500 --> 00:25:38.220 seen it growing across the scroller. I'm like, 00:25:38.319 --> 00:25:43.819 oh, there's a dick. You know, that stuff. Anyhow, 00:25:43.819 --> 00:25:46.019 yeah. So, anyhow, that's where all this came 00:25:46.019 --> 00:25:47.940 from. And another thing while we're talking about 00:25:47.940 --> 00:25:50.160 YouTube and all that, yeah, we are working on 00:25:50.160 --> 00:25:52.700 everything. Believe me. We are trying to get 00:25:52.700 --> 00:25:56.740 this distributed to a bigger platform, a bigger 00:25:56.740 --> 00:26:00.779 stage, if you will. So, another thing is I'm 00:26:00.779 --> 00:26:03.220 going to be doing a new email that's going to 00:26:03.220 --> 00:26:07.590 be more explanatory because I think... doucheb66 00:26:07.590 --> 00:26:10.930 at yahoo .com. What it is right now is not very 00:26:10.930 --> 00:26:13.329 self -explanatory. I think that I'm just going 00:26:13.329 --> 00:26:15.750 to go full in and go, two douchebags and a microphone 00:26:15.750 --> 00:26:21.970 at wherever .com. You see what I mean? Yeah, 00:26:22.150 --> 00:26:24.730 it's a little bit longer to type out, but you 00:26:24.730 --> 00:26:28.890 know, it's just like, hey, it's our name. Yeah, 00:26:29.549 --> 00:26:32.130 yeah, and netzero .com, or I don't know, yahoo 00:26:32.130 --> 00:26:35.190 .com, or Excite, or whatever. Mindspring .com. 00:26:35.660 --> 00:26:37.700 That's what me and Topher used to do. We made 00:26:37.700 --> 00:26:40.559 up emails, and we make them at MindSpring and 00:26:40.559 --> 00:26:42.599 all these other things that I don't even think 00:26:42.599 --> 00:26:45.559 they exist anymore. Do what? I'll give you two 00:26:45.559 --> 00:26:49.940 thumbs up on that. Okay, cool. Yeah, yeah, so 00:26:49.940 --> 00:26:52.599 I am working on that, and we will be coming out 00:26:52.599 --> 00:26:55.259 with it. And also, real quick, I wanted to go 00:26:55.259 --> 00:26:57.500 into this really quick, and then I've got some 00:26:57.500 --> 00:26:59.420 food wars coming up, and I know you have some 00:26:59.420 --> 00:27:02.200 stuff, and we have some emails, too. But I wanted 00:27:02.200 --> 00:27:04.779 to, you know what, I'll go into it later. It's 00:27:04.779 --> 00:27:06.640 all right. It's this new way of advertising. 00:27:07.180 --> 00:27:09.279 We got a list to get through. Yeah, we do. We 00:27:09.279 --> 00:27:11.259 got a list. So anyhow, we'll be right back here 00:27:11.259 --> 00:27:15.339 in a couple minutes. Why, Whataburger, you say? 00:27:16.559 --> 00:27:20.339 Well, because what a deep -fried crispy chicken 00:27:20.339 --> 00:27:30.240 nugget just didn't have the right ring. Swimming 00:27:30.240 --> 00:27:33.430 in toxic masculinity. and wiping their ass with 00:27:33.430 --> 00:27:36.630 politically correct wash rags. Two douchebags 00:27:36.630 --> 00:27:39.289 and a microphone invade your ear holes in three, 00:27:39.509 --> 00:27:46.130 two, one. You watched the news. It looks grim. 00:27:46.430 --> 00:27:50.329 Is an apocalypse inevitable? We suggest you download 00:27:50.329 --> 00:27:53.549 all our podcasts beforehand and have multiple 00:27:53.549 --> 00:27:57.450 mobile chargers. We have proposed apocalypse. 00:28:00.170 --> 00:28:03.490 Learn your soils. You will need drinking and 00:28:03.490 --> 00:28:06.609 bath water. You must build a reservoir. The key 00:28:06.609 --> 00:28:08.930 to hold water in the ground are the clays you 00:28:08.930 --> 00:28:12.029 have at its base. Research water purification 00:28:12.029 --> 00:28:15.190 methods and wild game will attract to the water 00:28:15.190 --> 00:28:22.470 as well. Strange, but true. In 2001, U .S. Navy 00:28:22.470 --> 00:28:26.130 SEAL Mike Day was shot 27 times by militants 00:28:26.130 --> 00:28:29.029 and was also pelted by shrapnel from the grenade. 00:28:29.640 --> 00:28:31.940 He later woke up and promptly killed them all 00:28:31.940 --> 00:28:34.339 with a loaded automatic rifle they left next 00:28:34.339 --> 00:28:38.460 to his body. Hey there, fuckstick. You're just 00:28:38.460 --> 00:28:40.859 in time for brand new feature news nobody gives 00:28:40.859 --> 00:28:43.900 a shit about. There's a small island in the South 00:28:43.900 --> 00:28:47.319 Pacific where people actually talk with eye movements. 00:28:49.819 --> 00:28:52.960 Our constant pursuit for a real knee slapper. 00:28:53.279 --> 00:28:57.519 It's strange insults from an alien. Real hilarity. 00:28:58.329 --> 00:29:02.609 You remind me of a penny toothpaste and not worth 00:29:02.609 --> 00:29:37.210 much just happened. You don't know what to do. 00:29:37.650 --> 00:29:40.690 You don't know where to go. But we can tell you 00:29:40.690 --> 00:29:44.910 what you can eat. Burdock is a plant that has 00:29:44.910 --> 00:29:47.029 edible leaves, stalks, and roots. It is also 00:29:47.029 --> 00:29:49.609 known for its medicinal properties and its ability 00:29:49.609 --> 00:29:52.609 to stick to clothing. Some of the uses for foods 00:29:52.609 --> 00:29:55.710 is in soups and stews, sauteed in a stir -fry, 00:29:55.869 --> 00:29:59.289 pickled either for sushi or a snack. It is also 00:29:59.289 --> 00:30:02.569 used in braised kempira, a Japanese side dish. 00:30:04.079 --> 00:30:07.000 Hey, look. I think we found land. Oh my god, 00:30:07.019 --> 00:30:11.180 I think we're safe. Oh no! It's the island of 00:30:11.180 --> 00:30:20.319 horrible jokes. What do you call a well -balanced 00:30:20.319 --> 00:30:29.470 horse? Stable. Origin of April Fools. Religious 00:30:29.470 --> 00:30:32.170 holdouts in the 16th century refused to celebrate 00:30:32.170 --> 00:30:34.930 the reestablished New Year's date on January 00:30:34.930 --> 00:30:38.609 1st, preferent the end of the Holy Week in April, 00:30:38.750 --> 00:30:51.650 making them April fools. The city here, my name 00:30:51.650 --> 00:30:59.720 is Mark. Rob, you got anything you want to go 00:30:59.720 --> 00:31:01.660 into before emails or you just want to get into 00:31:01.660 --> 00:31:06.200 emails? Oh, you know I love hearing from our 00:31:06.200 --> 00:31:09.099 fans. I know that's my favorite part. I know, 00:31:09.119 --> 00:31:13.079 me too. I'll tell you, our fans need to do their 00:31:13.079 --> 00:31:16.579 own podcast. They are brilliant. I mean, they 00:31:16.579 --> 00:31:20.200 are funny as hell. They always get us. They're 00:31:20.200 --> 00:31:23.279 great. So keep sending us in. Hey, the email 00:31:23.279 --> 00:31:26.500 goes to the top. I think I finally wore out fucking 00:31:26.500 --> 00:31:31.339 Dum Dum from Clarksville. So, Clint. So, anyhow. 00:31:32.319 --> 00:31:36.579 Yeah, that was it. I was going to hide the Narcan 00:31:36.579 --> 00:31:39.700 in Clarksville. He's probably freaking out right 00:31:39.700 --> 00:31:44.539 now. Oh, shit. I need that stuff. So, anyhow. 00:31:45.599 --> 00:31:47.740 Clint, if you're still listening, you're stupid. 00:31:48.000 --> 00:31:51.119 I make fun of you every fucking show. That's 00:31:51.119 --> 00:31:56.279 it. So, alright. Dudes. Number one, dudes, you 00:31:56.279 --> 00:31:58.160 ever think about sending your material into a 00:31:58.160 --> 00:32:01.460 large podcasting website? I know you're doing 00:32:01.460 --> 00:32:03.519 well, but if you get a larger audience, you could 00:32:03.519 --> 00:32:06.720 possibly get advertisers. Sanders and Weston. 00:32:08.500 --> 00:32:11.319 Yeah, we've entertained that, but I mean, remember, 00:32:11.460 --> 00:32:14.599 Rob, we had a couple of places that gave us an 00:32:14.599 --> 00:32:17.880 offer, but they want to own your material is 00:32:17.880 --> 00:32:25.500 the problem. Right, right, right. Yeah, I want 00:32:25.500 --> 00:32:28.460 the freedom to do whatever we want to do. We 00:32:28.460 --> 00:32:30.140 don't need someone coming in and going, you know 00:32:30.140 --> 00:32:32.960 what, I don't like that. I don't like that fart 00:32:32.960 --> 00:32:34.859 joke. We're going to go ahead and take it out 00:32:34.859 --> 00:32:38.579 for you. Because if they own your material, then, 00:32:38.640 --> 00:32:41.500 you know, where does it stop? They can do whatever 00:32:41.500 --> 00:32:45.240 they want. And so far, maybe all we've had is 00:32:45.240 --> 00:32:47.619 scams. I don't know. Well, actually, no, two 00:32:47.619 --> 00:32:51.779 of them were like legitimate providers. A couple 00:32:51.779 --> 00:32:54.359 other ones I'm not so sure about. But they want 00:32:54.359 --> 00:32:56.599 to own our stuff. And that's just, no, I'm not 00:32:56.599 --> 00:32:58.160 doing that. I'm not going to do a podcast that 00:32:58.160 --> 00:33:02.660 someone else owns or you. Okay, I don't mind 00:33:02.660 --> 00:33:06.819 doing advertisements and stuff like that. But 00:33:06.819 --> 00:33:12.859 when it comes to being told what I need to talk 00:33:12.859 --> 00:33:16.960 about, this and that, no. Well, and they may 00:33:16.960 --> 00:33:20.130 not even do that. That's my creativity. You know, 00:33:20.150 --> 00:33:23.750 and they may not even do that. But they can if 00:33:23.750 --> 00:33:28.309 we sign over our stuff to them. They can. And 00:33:28.309 --> 00:33:30.490 it may not even be on the table. They may like 00:33:30.490 --> 00:33:33.089 us for what we are. But the fact is, is the fact 00:33:33.089 --> 00:33:34.789 that they could do it is the reason we're not 00:33:34.789 --> 00:33:37.089 going to go with them. It's got to be the right 00:33:37.089 --> 00:33:38.970 offer or we're just going to keep building this 00:33:38.970 --> 00:33:40.970 thing like we are. It's not like we're doing 00:33:40.970 --> 00:33:43.650 horribly. It's just we're not making any money. 00:33:43.930 --> 00:33:47.529 But so are 99 % of the other podcasts not making 00:33:47.529 --> 00:33:50.200 a dime. Okay, and if we don't make a dime, I 00:33:50.200 --> 00:33:53.940 don't think we really care, do you? No, because 00:33:53.940 --> 00:33:57.740 honestly, you can go anywhere and listen to us. 00:33:58.059 --> 00:34:01.099 Yeah, and another thing is this right here. You're 00:34:01.099 --> 00:34:06.960 going to mention Audacity. Yeah, Audacy. Or Audacy. 00:34:07.180 --> 00:34:10.960 Audacity is the software. Yeah, Audacy. Someone 00:34:10.960 --> 00:34:14.940 put us on Audacy podcast, and I legitimately 00:34:14.940 --> 00:34:17.000 did not even know they had a podcast section. 00:34:17.599 --> 00:34:20.019 And also the KansasCityLive .net or whatever 00:34:20.019 --> 00:34:22.780 that is. I'll have to look at it. But anyhow, 00:34:22.920 --> 00:34:25.719 they put us in the entertainment section. Well, 00:34:25.820 --> 00:34:28.860 I know how a lot of Kansas City, I guess so, 00:34:28.980 --> 00:34:32.219 a lot of Kansas City got our name and, you know, 00:34:32.219 --> 00:34:34.539 what we do and everything and why we have such 00:34:34.539 --> 00:34:37.679 good numbers in Kansas City is because of stuff 00:34:37.679 --> 00:34:39.539 like that, you know, like the Kansas City Live 00:34:39.539 --> 00:34:42.820 website. Putting us on there. You know, someone's 00:34:42.820 --> 00:34:44.380 like looking for something going on. They go, 00:34:44.460 --> 00:34:46.159 hey, what's this? An entertainment, two douchebags, 00:34:46.280 --> 00:34:49.820 microphone podcast. You know. So, anyhow, whoever 00:34:49.820 --> 00:34:52.219 did all this may not have been the same person. 00:34:52.260 --> 00:34:54.880 Maybe it was. Thank you. We really appreciate 00:34:54.880 --> 00:34:57.900 that. Yeah, the Odyssey was just like a nice 00:34:57.900 --> 00:35:01.019 little touch. You know, it sucks what they did 00:35:01.019 --> 00:35:03.880 to Johnny. But I do appreciate whoever it is 00:35:03.880 --> 00:35:08.059 that put us up there. Thank you. So, all right. 00:35:08.239 --> 00:35:15.010 So, yeah, you know. Sanders and Weston. We're 00:35:15.010 --> 00:35:18.050 working on it. It may never happen. It's got 00:35:18.050 --> 00:35:20.170 to be the right deal. We're not going to turn 00:35:20.170 --> 00:35:23.510 everything over. Is that Weston, Missouri? I 00:35:23.510 --> 00:35:27.769 guess so. It's spelled like it. W -E -S -T -O 00:35:27.769 --> 00:35:30.829 -N. I'm pretty sure that's Weston, Missouri. 00:35:31.829 --> 00:35:37.610 I used to live around St. Joe. Okay, Weston's 00:35:37.610 --> 00:35:40.159 beautiful. And that's where they have Testicle 00:35:40.159 --> 00:35:44.519 Fest in May. Yeah, we've got to go. Yeah, I was 00:35:44.519 --> 00:35:46.179 going to go there. There's also one in Bentonville, 00:35:46.239 --> 00:35:48.440 too. I was going to go there, but I'm going to 00:35:48.440 --> 00:35:51.360 be still on my cruise, I found out. So it's like 00:35:51.360 --> 00:35:53.000 early May, and I'm still going to be on the boat. 00:35:53.079 --> 00:35:58.139 So I can't go. I wanted to go. So, okay. Mark 00:35:58.139 --> 00:36:00.340 and Rob, I really enjoyed Johnny Dare analysis. 00:36:01.019 --> 00:36:03.239 I think you're spot on about him going to 101 00:36:03.239 --> 00:36:06.280 to Fox. Tony and Olathe, I think this is a Tony 00:36:06.280 --> 00:36:09.760 I know. Yeah. I think we are, too. I mean, time 00:36:09.760 --> 00:36:11.980 will tell. I mean, we're not going to find out 00:36:11.980 --> 00:36:16.079 this year, I'm pretty certain. Because, you know, 00:36:16.119 --> 00:36:18.920 every place... I agree with you on that. There's 00:36:18.920 --> 00:36:21.840 going to be a hush -hush policy. Yeah, I mean, 00:36:21.900 --> 00:36:24.199 that's what... No competes, basically, are this 00:36:24.199 --> 00:36:27.300 right here. They don't want them firing you and 00:36:27.300 --> 00:36:29.079 then you coming back and kicking their ass two 00:36:29.079 --> 00:36:32.260 days later. So they give you a severance package. 00:36:32.360 --> 00:36:34.500 And with that severance package of them giving 00:36:34.500 --> 00:36:36.699 you all this money is, you've got to stay off 00:36:36.699 --> 00:36:40.460 the dial for a certain amount of time. So, you 00:36:40.460 --> 00:36:44.139 know, I mean, Keatsman had to run his out. Now 00:36:44.139 --> 00:36:47.079 he's like on KCMO AM or something. It's like 00:36:47.079 --> 00:36:48.840 an hour show, but he still does his podcast. 00:36:48.940 --> 00:36:51.119 But, you know, when they bought him out, when 00:36:51.119 --> 00:36:52.659 he had the trouble with the Chiefs and everything, 00:36:52.800 --> 00:36:55.980 when they bought him out, they said, here's your 00:36:55.980 --> 00:36:59.110 money. You cannot do anything. We'll just let 00:36:59.110 --> 00:37:01.489 you podcast, but you cannot do live radio for 00:37:01.489 --> 00:37:04.329 I don't know how many years. And I don't know 00:37:04.329 --> 00:37:07.590 if it's one year, five years, two years, whatever, 00:37:07.829 --> 00:37:10.090 but I'm relatively sure they're going to do that 00:37:10.090 --> 00:37:13.130 to Johnny because he will be an entity that they 00:37:13.130 --> 00:37:15.429 have to fight, you know, especially if they stay 00:37:15.429 --> 00:37:19.150 in the rock division. So, okay. All right. Next 00:37:19.150 --> 00:37:22.170 one. Mark, RC Cola is a bomb. Who the fuck is 00:37:22.170 --> 00:37:26.820 Meg? Prince boy in pine blood. Okay. Yeah. Meg 00:37:26.820 --> 00:37:28.840 is someone that wrote in and said that RC Cola 00:37:28.840 --> 00:37:33.539 was nasty. We all know who she is. But Meg is 00:37:33.539 --> 00:37:38.179 obviously wrong. So Prince Boy, thank you. RC 00:37:38.179 --> 00:37:41.420 Cola is the bomb. Appreciate it. Thank you. Yep. 00:37:42.280 --> 00:37:45.480 Prince Boy. I don't know how you got that name. 00:37:45.519 --> 00:37:47.760 It's interesting. Write me back and let me know. 00:37:47.960 --> 00:37:55.230 So anyhow. All right. Probably. Yeah. Pine Bluff, 00:37:55.230 --> 00:37:59.969 Arkansas. Yeah. Yep. Yeah. Okay. Douchebags, 00:38:00.150 --> 00:38:02.570 I want to send you toenail clippers. Where do 00:38:02.570 --> 00:38:07.969 you send it to? Willie and Montrose. Remember 00:38:07.969 --> 00:38:11.949 I said I could use some toenail clippers? Yes. 00:38:13.130 --> 00:38:15.489 Willie, thank you. I'm glad you're making a peace 00:38:15.489 --> 00:38:18.429 offering now. This is Willie and Montrose. Wasn't 00:38:18.429 --> 00:38:20.250 either one offering like the extension cord? 00:38:20.679 --> 00:38:23.360 and all that at the campground? Yeah, yeah, yeah. 00:38:23.519 --> 00:38:25.780 He was going to hook us up when we went down 00:38:25.780 --> 00:38:29.079 to go camping at our campsite. Yeah, yeah. Willie, 00:38:29.239 --> 00:38:32.480 we're glad that you're not bent because we kind 00:38:32.480 --> 00:38:35.599 of outcasted you. It's nothing personal. It's 00:38:35.599 --> 00:38:39.360 just that you guys don't have a power plant anymore, 00:38:39.519 --> 00:38:42.760 and we had to go elsewhere. We're sorry. And 00:38:42.760 --> 00:38:45.239 I think even Willie in Montrose, you can admit 00:38:45.239 --> 00:38:48.099 that Knoblick is the crown jewel of names, isn't 00:38:48.099 --> 00:38:54.280 it? So, there you go. Alright, next one. It's 00:38:54.280 --> 00:38:57.579 Montrose. Montrose was a pretty good band. Yeah, 00:38:57.599 --> 00:39:00.320 you know what, Montrose? You were fantastic while 00:39:00.320 --> 00:39:02.719 you were there. We appreciate it. We hope you 00:39:02.719 --> 00:39:04.940 and Tightwad make up with each other. You guys 00:39:04.940 --> 00:39:07.619 need to be brothers in arms. You don't need to 00:39:07.619 --> 00:39:10.920 be fighting each other. Right? You think maybe 00:39:10.920 --> 00:39:14.260 we can have a big bonfire? I agree with you, 00:39:14.420 --> 00:39:20.210 but I don't know. I've heard... They're not fond 00:39:20.210 --> 00:39:24.130 of each other. Maybe we could have a big bonfire 00:39:24.130 --> 00:39:26.610 with some, I don't know, some natty light and 00:39:26.610 --> 00:39:29.550 some bush light, and we could get, like, maybe 00:39:29.550 --> 00:39:32.590 tightwad and montrose all around the fire, and 00:39:32.590 --> 00:39:34.710 we could have a good time, right? That might 00:39:34.710 --> 00:39:38.889 do it. Or it might end up in a fight, too. Yeah. 00:39:39.210 --> 00:39:42.349 Yeah, either that or, yeah, county, if you should 00:39:42.349 --> 00:39:44.750 call, then everything else. Yeah, you know what? 00:39:44.829 --> 00:39:46.670 Maybe we shouldn't. You know what? Forget it. 00:39:47.789 --> 00:39:50.429 All right, next one. Is Montreux still the jewel 00:39:50.429 --> 00:39:53.929 of Henry County? Well, it sure the fuck isn't 00:39:53.929 --> 00:40:01.989 Clinton. So, I'm going to say yeah, it is. That 00:40:01.989 --> 00:40:11.250 or deep water. Is Yerrick in Henry? I think it 00:40:11.250 --> 00:40:13.489 might. No, I think Yerrick's still in Cass County, 00:40:13.650 --> 00:40:20.659 barely. Hang on. We're going to do some research 00:40:20.659 --> 00:40:23.900 there. Yeah, I think I knew this once, but I 00:40:23.900 --> 00:40:26.679 don't know it now. Well, we've still got to keep 00:40:26.679 --> 00:40:31.539 doing Henry County, right? Yeah, yeah. It's not 00:40:31.539 --> 00:40:34.599 their fault. Yeah. Hey, Clinton, no offense, 00:40:34.880 --> 00:40:38.559 but, I mean, you guys do have the Golden Valley 00:40:38.559 --> 00:40:41.840 Death Camp there. If you check in there, you 00:40:41.840 --> 00:40:44.969 don't check out. It is definitely the... You 00:40:44.969 --> 00:40:46.809 know what? No, no, no. I'm not going to dog them. 00:40:46.869 --> 00:40:49.250 You know what? I mean, they're probably glad 00:40:49.250 --> 00:40:52.369 they have a hospital there. So, anyhow. And all 00:40:52.369 --> 00:40:53.869 this is tongue -in -cheek. I'm just kidding. 00:40:54.670 --> 00:40:57.969 Allegedly. You know what? Yeah, do some research 00:40:57.969 --> 00:41:00.289 and we'll get back with you. Okay. If Yerrick 00:41:00.289 --> 00:41:02.409 is in Henry County, then I think we could safely 00:41:02.409 --> 00:41:06.530 say Yerrick is it? Oh, yeah. Definitely. Because, 00:41:06.929 --> 00:41:11.329 you know, every time we would drive by, my dad 00:41:11.329 --> 00:41:15.699 would call it Urch. Urch. It did look like Urch, 00:41:15.699 --> 00:41:26.079 didn't it? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If you want to sit 00:41:26.079 --> 00:41:28.719 in a field and have it hail on, you go to Urich, 00:41:28.719 --> 00:41:31.099 Missouri. Great place. Great place to do that. 00:41:31.760 --> 00:41:35.320 All right. We're not naming it. We're not naming 00:41:35.320 --> 00:41:38.440 it yet. No, no, no, no, no, no. We got to find 00:41:38.440 --> 00:41:40.179 out. If it's still in Cass County, then they 00:41:40.179 --> 00:41:44.219 are not eligible. All right, we'll figure this 00:41:44.219 --> 00:41:46.260 out. I'll have that Sunday night. There you go. 00:41:46.280 --> 00:41:48.239 You're going to have your URIC update Sunday 00:41:48.239 --> 00:41:50.920 night. So it doesn't get better than that, does 00:41:50.920 --> 00:41:53.960 it? Henry County update. Henry County update, 00:41:54.199 --> 00:41:56.179 yeah. And you know what? Maybe we'll do some 00:41:56.179 --> 00:41:58.320 Henry County news. Let's scour the Internet and 00:41:58.320 --> 00:42:00.639 find some news and just, like, you know, do some 00:42:00.639 --> 00:42:03.000 Henry County news. Does that sound good? Sound 00:42:03.000 --> 00:42:04.980 like it? Yeah, you know what? That's something 00:42:04.980 --> 00:42:10.199 we'll work on. Okay. Where was I? Okay, guys. 00:42:10.380 --> 00:42:13.099 I really think the new douchebag pledge isn't 00:42:13.099 --> 00:42:16.000 up to par. My thoughts. Jeremy and Joplin. I 00:42:16.000 --> 00:42:23.360 disagree. He doesn't like it. I like it. I do, 00:42:23.380 --> 00:42:25.119 too. I love the fact it comes out and goes, hey, 00:42:25.139 --> 00:42:29.690 you fucking derelicts. Right off the bat, you 00:42:29.690 --> 00:42:31.590 get punched in the face. I love it. The other 00:42:31.590 --> 00:42:33.670 one's like, now it's time to stand and do the 00:42:33.670 --> 00:42:35.590 douchebag pledge. This is just like, those are 00:42:35.590 --> 00:42:38.829 a bunch of derelicts. Fucking do this. I don't 00:42:38.829 --> 00:42:40.929 know. I'm kind of fond of it. I'm going to tweak 00:42:40.929 --> 00:42:42.369 it a little bit, though. I'm going to give it 00:42:42.369 --> 00:42:44.090 a little bit of noise and music or something. 00:42:44.309 --> 00:42:47.349 I don't know. Maybe a crowd. I don't know. Something. 00:42:48.610 --> 00:42:51.170 I'm going to do something to it to spice it up 00:42:51.170 --> 00:42:53.289 a little bit. As far as the wording goes, I love 00:42:53.289 --> 00:43:00.389 the wording. What do you think? Yeah, I would 00:43:00.389 --> 00:43:02.429 not tweak anything on the wording. The only thing 00:43:02.429 --> 00:43:04.769 I'd do different is the sound effects behind 00:43:04.769 --> 00:43:11.750 it. Yeah, maybe a little bit. Yeah, jazz it up. 00:43:12.150 --> 00:43:14.530 Yeah, jazz it up just a little bit, and I think 00:43:14.530 --> 00:43:17.170 it's going to be great. So, anyhow, all right. 00:43:17.389 --> 00:43:19.809 Could you guys maybe put up more pictures of 00:43:19.809 --> 00:43:22.190 the studios of the Douchebags official Facebook 00:43:22.190 --> 00:43:31.139 page? Yeah. Let me get my dash. Okay. I'm losing. 00:43:32.940 --> 00:43:34.800 You know what? Maybe it will let me post. You 00:43:34.800 --> 00:43:38.099 know what? I'm going to work on it, too. I think 00:43:38.099 --> 00:43:40.019 I can get it to post for me because all I've 00:43:40.019 --> 00:43:45.900 got to do is tag it. Okay. No, I've got a little 00:43:45.900 --> 00:43:51.059 bit to do in here. Mine isn't quite finished, 00:43:51.079 --> 00:43:53.059 either, but I do have some new effects. I've 00:43:53.059 --> 00:43:55.780 got these laser lights. that dash all over the 00:43:55.780 --> 00:44:01.199 wall. That's pretty cool. Oh, I've got LED lights 00:44:01.199 --> 00:44:04.000 that run around the whole top, and I have a remote 00:44:04.000 --> 00:44:07.059 control. I can change the colors. Oh, awesome. 00:44:07.139 --> 00:44:09.960 That's what I've got going on here. Fucking awesome. 00:44:10.059 --> 00:44:13.900 Cool. Yeah, like I was telling Anna, my good 00:44:13.900 --> 00:44:16.199 friend that's getting ready to podcast, I said, 00:44:16.280 --> 00:44:19.840 all this sets the mood for what we do. I get 00:44:19.840 --> 00:44:22.300 in the studio here, the man cave or whatever 00:44:22.300 --> 00:44:25.329 you want to call it, the podcast room, I get 00:44:25.329 --> 00:44:29.010 a certain feeling from it, you know. A lot of 00:44:29.010 --> 00:44:31.690 nostalgia, a lot of trickery, a lot of stuff 00:44:31.690 --> 00:44:34.130 that I love. I surround it with stuff that I 00:44:34.130 --> 00:44:36.670 consider interesting, and I think it makes us 00:44:36.670 --> 00:44:38.530 more interesting. And you think the same thing, 00:44:38.590 --> 00:44:43.130 don't you? Oh, I tell everybody. I'm heading 00:44:43.130 --> 00:44:47.809 to the studio. All right. Everybody leaves me 00:44:47.809 --> 00:44:57.349 alone. They know I'm in my zone. Yep. And it's 00:44:57.349 --> 00:44:59.769 fun, too, because you know what I mean? You get 00:44:59.769 --> 00:45:02.269 in here, and you get in the zone, and you get 00:45:02.269 --> 00:45:05.010 all this energy that you're going to put towards 00:45:05.010 --> 00:45:07.130 the podcast. It's a lot of fun. It really is. 00:45:07.210 --> 00:45:09.969 I really enjoy it. I get a certain vibe and energy, 00:45:10.170 --> 00:45:15.809 and I think it's awesome. It cuts me off from 00:45:15.809 --> 00:45:19.469 the rest of the world. Bingo. Rob, you're right. 00:45:19.630 --> 00:45:25.250 Shut the door. Yeah, I meant the ball. This is 00:45:25.250 --> 00:45:28.820 our escape. This is our escape, our haven. This 00:45:28.820 --> 00:45:31.760 is the Talk is Cheap studio, and his is the Duck 00:45:31.760 --> 00:45:35.440 Blind studio. Duck Blind studio, yeah. Yep, so 00:45:35.440 --> 00:45:40.139 anyhow, yeah, we will put more up. Give us time, 00:45:40.179 --> 00:45:42.500 like everything. I mean, you know, we both have 00:45:42.500 --> 00:45:44.400 lives, we both work, we both have other things 00:45:44.400 --> 00:45:48.800 to do, you know. Yeah, I've been going through 00:45:48.800 --> 00:45:54.699 a little bit lately. Yeah. You know. Yep. Yeah, 00:45:54.699 --> 00:45:59.969 so. Yeah, it's just the way it is. This is a 00:45:59.969 --> 00:46:04.469 project. This is a hobby, if you will. We want 00:46:04.469 --> 00:46:06.489 it to be much more. We're trying to grow it as 00:46:06.489 --> 00:46:09.349 much as we can, but it's a hobby, so just bear 00:46:09.349 --> 00:46:11.389 with us. We're working on it, and thank you for 00:46:11.389 --> 00:46:13.949 your interest, for real. Thank you for your interest. 00:46:14.730 --> 00:46:18.510 All right, and finally, Mark and Rob, how about 00:46:18.510 --> 00:46:21.510 the top seven entrance songs as you enter a room, 00:46:21.690 --> 00:46:28.420 WWE style? Guess who sent this one in, Rob? You 00:46:28.420 --> 00:46:31.139 already told me, and I got my list. Ronnie and 00:46:31.139 --> 00:46:35.219 Tulsa, Tulsa King, and I got my list, too. Dude, 00:46:35.440 --> 00:46:37.619 you know what? Of all the stuff Ronnie sent us, 00:46:37.699 --> 00:46:53.570 that might be the best one ever. I changed mine 00:46:53.570 --> 00:46:57.590 like four times, Rob. Four times. And I'm still 00:46:57.590 --> 00:47:00.130 not sure if this is what I want. I had so many 00:47:00.130 --> 00:47:02.849 right off the bat. Yeah, I got like three words 00:47:02.849 --> 00:47:07.789 that I had narrowed down. And then just I had 00:47:07.789 --> 00:47:30.159 it finalized last night. Yeah, and you might 00:47:30.159 --> 00:47:34.420 even tell that after your list, too. Yeah, I 00:47:34.420 --> 00:47:37.380 got to tell the ha -ha. Yeah, that was really 00:47:37.380 --> 00:47:40.719 good. I told you before. Believe me, people will 00:47:40.719 --> 00:47:44.440 appreciate it. I love it. Okay, so let me explain 00:47:44.440 --> 00:47:47.280 this before Rob does his list here, okay? All 00:47:47.280 --> 00:47:49.800 right, you know how WWE wrestlers come in and 00:47:49.800 --> 00:47:53.159 they have a song, right? And they have that song 00:47:53.159 --> 00:47:55.800 that brings them out there. They have one day. 00:47:56.019 --> 00:48:09.590 Yeah. They have one day. Okay. Yeah. This is 00:48:09.590 --> 00:48:12.590 you just walking into a room, and this is the 00:48:12.590 --> 00:48:15.030 song you want every time you walk into a room. 00:48:15.170 --> 00:48:18.170 He wants the top seven like always, and Rob, 00:48:18.250 --> 00:48:40.070 go ahead. That's a pretty good one. Well, from 00:48:40.070 --> 00:48:46.409 the very first note, it's just high energy. It 00:48:46.409 --> 00:48:49.190 really is. And I can see somebody like the Ultimate 00:48:49.190 --> 00:48:53.329 Warrior coming out with that song. Yeah, yep. 00:48:54.309 --> 00:49:00.670 Somebody high energy. And, yeah. Yeah, yeah, 00:49:00.690 --> 00:49:26.559 I agree. That's a good one. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yep, 00:49:26.639 --> 00:49:29.599 yep, yep. And that was one of the best things 00:49:29.599 --> 00:49:32.599 we did in the music creeps, too, was the what's 00:49:32.599 --> 00:49:36.000 going to your head during a fist fight. What 00:49:36.000 --> 00:49:37.719 song you want to hear in your head during a fist 00:49:37.719 --> 00:49:52.400 fight. That's a good one. Especially in the middle 00:49:52.400 --> 00:49:56.099 when they sound the ball like smashing in the 00:49:56.099 --> 00:50:02.219 hand. Yeah. Just plant a bomb up everyone's ass. 00:50:02.800 --> 00:50:05.940 They ain't gonna keep us alive. Yeah, go ahead. 00:50:07.360 --> 00:50:09.980 Little Udo. Yeah, little pint -sized belter. 00:50:11.199 --> 00:50:16.139 Yeah, yeah. Fucking killing. That's it, man. 00:50:16.940 --> 00:50:43.969 Balls to the wall. That will do it. Yeah, I was 00:50:43.969 --> 00:50:46.210 a fan of it at the time. Everyone knows that 00:50:46.210 --> 00:50:48.909 he said, she said bullshit. You're going to be 00:50:48.909 --> 00:50:54.309 leaving with a fat lip. Yeah, that's it. That'd 00:50:54.309 --> 00:50:59.929 be a great entrance song. It would be. Okay, 00:51:00.010 --> 00:51:07.070 number three. Burn It Down by Linkin Park. That's 00:51:07.070 --> 00:51:17.309 a good one. Lincoln Park is a very underrated 00:51:17.309 --> 00:51:22.650 band, too. Yes, they are. Or were. No, I think 00:51:22.650 --> 00:51:23.750 they're still a band. They've got a different 00:51:23.750 --> 00:51:27.449 lead singer, I think. But, anyhow. Oh, I'm listening 00:51:27.449 --> 00:51:30.150 to their stuff all the time. Oh, yeah, yeah. 00:51:30.250 --> 00:51:31.889 I was just wondering if they're still going. 00:51:32.230 --> 00:51:33.929 I think they've got a different lead singer, 00:51:34.050 --> 00:51:35.909 right? And that's it, and they kept going? Yeah, 00:51:35.909 --> 00:51:39.670 it's a female. That's what I thought, yeah. Yeah, 00:51:39.710 --> 00:51:45.420 I know. Yeah, they're pretty good. I hear them 00:51:45.420 --> 00:51:48.920 all the time on iHeart. Okay. I hear them all 00:51:48.920 --> 00:51:53.119 the time on the radio, too. Cool. What station? 00:51:53.559 --> 00:52:01.360 Okay. Oh, 935 The Rock. Is that for... 935 Rock. 00:52:02.119 --> 00:52:04.320 Oh, is that the station around there? Osage Beach. 00:52:04.559 --> 00:52:06.960 Osage Beach, okay. Osage Beach, yeah. Okay, cool. 00:52:19.599 --> 00:52:26.059 Not real familiar. That's the state of the state 00:52:26.059 --> 00:52:32.280 of my head. Oh, yeah, yeah, okay. That's a good 00:52:32.280 --> 00:52:36.440 one. I like that one. Yeah, I mean, like I said, 00:52:36.500 --> 00:52:39.360 I spent the last two hours at the work listening 00:52:39.360 --> 00:52:45.400 to these top three. Ronnie. Oh, yeah, back at 00:52:45.400 --> 00:53:03.010 you, Ronnie. Back at you. Yeah. Another solid, 00:53:03.250 --> 00:53:07.409 solid one. That was a good list, Rob. You put 00:53:07.409 --> 00:53:11.449 a lot of thought into it. Yeah. Dude, I've watched 00:53:11.449 --> 00:53:16.230 wrestling all my life, so it fits in. Entering 00:53:16.230 --> 00:53:20.769 songs. Like I said, I have probably two more 00:53:20.769 --> 00:53:26.489 lists I could do. When he set this list in, I 00:53:26.489 --> 00:53:29.269 just got a big smile. I'm just like, this is 00:53:29.269 --> 00:53:38.309 gold. Okay. He knows us. He knows us. He's one 00:53:38.309 --> 00:53:42.710 of us. I cannot wait until he has time to call 00:53:42.710 --> 00:53:45.389 in. I've got to hear. I've just got to hear his 00:53:45.389 --> 00:53:50.570 voice. Yes. This one. Yep. And I'm pretty sure 00:53:50.570 --> 00:53:53.309 he's going to be very hilarious judging by his 00:53:53.309 --> 00:53:58.969 emails. All right. My number seven has got to 00:53:58.969 --> 00:54:04.159 be Stranglehold by Sweaty Teddy. I mean, remember 00:54:04.159 --> 00:54:06.460 Curry Von Erich used to come out to that. He'd 00:54:06.460 --> 00:54:09.239 be fucking flexing his tip muscles and fucking 00:54:09.239 --> 00:54:11.880 jabbing at the air and stuff, his long, flowing, 00:54:11.980 --> 00:54:14.440 fucking curly blonde hair, ready to fucking take 00:54:14.440 --> 00:54:16.960 shit on, ready to kill, ready to kick some ass, 00:54:17.039 --> 00:54:19.280 right? He's fucking hopping around there with 00:54:19.280 --> 00:54:22.440 his lace fucking boots, with the fringe boots, 00:54:22.539 --> 00:54:25.019 fucking hopping around. It's a fucking great 00:54:25.019 --> 00:54:29.719 song. And it's a driving song. It's like a hypnotic 00:54:29.719 --> 00:54:33.219 song. Yeah, it is. It is. Yeah, so I had to go 00:54:33.219 --> 00:54:35.820 there. I didn't put it really all the way up 00:54:35.820 --> 00:54:38.559 there because it has been used and it has been 00:54:38.559 --> 00:54:42.980 used for that. But I had to recycle it. All right. 00:54:43.280 --> 00:54:46.739 Number six. And this is solely because of the 00:54:46.739 --> 00:54:49.340 riff at the very first of it. Too Fast for Love 00:54:49.340 --> 00:54:54.920 by Motley Crue. I think hearing that riff when 00:54:54.920 --> 00:54:57.619 you're coming out super loud, jabbing in the 00:54:57.619 --> 00:54:59.260 air, you're ready to kill anybody. You're like, 00:54:59.360 --> 00:55:02.480 come on, bitch. This song is me. And I'm going 00:55:02.480 --> 00:55:05.280 to destroy you. And you hearing this song, you 00:55:05.280 --> 00:55:07.519 automatically know I'm going to destroy you because 00:55:07.519 --> 00:55:12.639 of the song I picked. Right? Yeah. This is one 00:55:12.639 --> 00:55:14.179 where, like, you fucking get them on the ground 00:55:14.179 --> 00:55:17.440 and you start chewing their face off. And then 00:55:17.440 --> 00:55:22.139 you piss on them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Number five, 00:55:22.179 --> 00:55:24.699 I took the psychedelic edge. And this is just 00:55:24.699 --> 00:55:26.800 the one, the mind -fucking. And this would be 00:55:26.800 --> 00:55:29.500 All Along the Watchtower by Jimi Hendrix, not 00:55:29.500 --> 00:55:34.400 Bob Dylan. The Jimi Hendrix version. And that 00:55:34.400 --> 00:55:36.699 would just be a mindfuck. You come out there 00:55:36.699 --> 00:55:39.440 and just kind of like, oh yeah, that's right. 00:55:39.500 --> 00:55:41.380 I'm loose and I'm fucking tender and I'm ready 00:55:41.380 --> 00:55:44.460 to go. That's right. Fucking listen to Jimi. 00:55:44.760 --> 00:55:48.780 Ready to kick some ass. Yeah, look at that. So 00:55:48.780 --> 00:55:51.460 anyhow. All right. Number four is another power 00:55:51.460 --> 00:55:54.239 one. This one I come out and fucking flex my 00:55:54.239 --> 00:55:56.460 tip muscles and kick it in the air and go, come 00:55:56.460 --> 00:56:00.280 on, bitch. Over the mountain. by, of course, 00:56:00.360 --> 00:56:06.960 Ozzy fucking Osbourne. Okay. Okay. Yeah, that's 00:56:06.960 --> 00:56:11.000 a good one. Number two, or no, number three, 00:56:11.019 --> 00:56:13.840 and just because, this is another mind fuck, 00:56:14.019 --> 00:56:18.179 and it's because it is such a weird rhythm and 00:56:18.179 --> 00:56:23.760 a weird bass and guitar start off, is Space Truckin' 00:56:23.760 --> 00:56:28.019 by Deep Purple. Because it kind of builds up. 00:56:28.019 --> 00:56:30.659 It's a slow build, and it's kind of like a psychedelic, 00:56:30.659 --> 00:56:32.719 and it's kind of hard rock, and it's kind of 00:56:32.719 --> 00:56:39.900 weird. Yeah. And it's going dun -dun, dun -dun 00:56:39.900 --> 00:56:41.739 -dun -dun -a, and then that's when you're fucking 00:56:41.739 --> 00:56:47.380 coming down the aisle. Yeah. Yes. That's exactly 00:56:47.380 --> 00:56:52.320 what I'm looking for. Yeah. Yep. Number two. 00:56:53.529 --> 00:56:56.230 is when I look around and I see a certain type 00:56:56.230 --> 00:56:59.809 of fans there. And, you know, they look like 00:56:59.809 --> 00:57:01.909 they all just got done fucking smoking a doobie 00:57:01.909 --> 00:57:03.630 out in the parking lot. Some of them have wooden 00:57:03.630 --> 00:57:06.530 legs. Some of them have eye patches. None of 00:57:06.530 --> 00:57:10.170 them shaved. Snowbind. Snowblind by Black Sabbath. 00:57:12.809 --> 00:57:15.389 I think that that would be... It's a great riff. 00:57:15.550 --> 00:57:18.730 It's a really heavy riff. And it's got to be 00:57:18.730 --> 00:57:21.940 the right audience, though. And number one, and 00:57:21.940 --> 00:57:24.599 this is when I'm going for the world title. This 00:57:24.599 --> 00:57:27.400 is only for the world title only. And this is 00:57:27.400 --> 00:57:31.739 a song that just makes me fucking swing at air, 00:57:31.880 --> 00:57:35.099 just ready to kill. And that's Intruder by Van 00:57:35.099 --> 00:57:41.739 Halen. That thing right there. Intruder. Think 00:57:41.739 --> 00:57:48.920 of that bass and the drums. Just leading into 00:57:48.920 --> 00:57:53.300 the crazy, crazy guitar. Just the mind -boggling, 00:57:53.320 --> 00:57:55.940 weird shit that A -Van handled. All that power 00:57:55.940 --> 00:57:59.400 and all the bending and all the weird shit that 00:57:59.400 --> 00:58:02.980 he did so masterfully. People would run off. 00:58:03.079 --> 00:58:06.420 They'd be like, this guy's insane. I'm not fighting 00:58:06.420 --> 00:58:10.139 him. Forget it. Nuh -uh. Off. Deal's off. Here's 00:58:10.139 --> 00:58:14.719 your check back. So, that is my number one. And 00:58:14.719 --> 00:58:16.500 I think we both did very well. What do you think? 00:58:26.219 --> 00:58:56.289 Yes please do. I enjoyed that a lot. Uh -huh. 00:59:00.130 --> 00:59:06.210 Yeah, he was in every... Yeah, it was really 00:59:06.210 --> 00:59:10.510 brilliant what he did. Yes, he was there as the 00:59:10.510 --> 00:59:32.469 tomato, the tomato can. I love that. I actually 00:59:32.469 --> 00:59:35.130 went back and listened. Dude, that'd be awesome. 00:59:35.570 --> 00:59:40.849 Do you really want to hurt me? Yeah, I do. Anytime 00:59:40.849 --> 00:59:44.230 me and my friends would hear that song in public, 00:59:44.449 --> 00:59:48.769 we would yell out, yes, we do. Yes, that's what 00:59:48.769 --> 00:59:54.570 we do here. All right, let's go to our second 00:59:54.570 --> 00:59:57.949 break. I'm sure you got a story. And I have some 00:59:57.949 --> 01:00:01.969 food wars, too, if we get into them. So, anyhow, 01:00:02.070 --> 01:00:06.869 we will be right back. Hey, fellas, remember 01:00:06.869 --> 01:00:10.090 to wipe away from the twins. Stay fresh ideas 01:00:10.090 --> 01:00:17.690 from the douchebags. Hey there, fuckstick. You're 01:00:17.690 --> 01:00:19.909 just in time for brand new feature news nobody 01:00:19.909 --> 01:00:23.940 gives a shit about. Punxsutawney fills. Babies 01:00:23.940 --> 01:00:30.659 are named Shadow and Sunny. Introducing Rob Rad's 01:00:30.659 --> 01:00:34.000 new book, How to Track Your Enemy by Scent. That's 01:00:34.000 --> 01:00:36.400 right, smell your enemy before they get you. 01:00:36.619 --> 01:00:39.000 Order this gem now and get a free virtual tour 01:00:39.000 --> 01:00:41.219 of Rob's secret bunker in Camderton, Missouri. 01:00:41.619 --> 01:00:44.440 Also receive a free copy of his new book, How 01:00:44.440 --> 01:00:51.079 to Clean Raw Sewage for Food. Your mama's so 01:00:51.079 --> 01:00:55.420 fat. When she was floating in the ocean, Spain 01:00:55.420 --> 01:00:59.360 claimed her as their new territory. Two douchebags 01:00:59.360 --> 01:01:02.940 and a microphone, says. You ever dream about 01:01:02.940 --> 01:01:05.340 eating chocolate pudding and wake up with a spoon 01:01:05.340 --> 01:01:10.239 in your ass? Just asking. Hey, look. I think 01:01:10.239 --> 01:01:12.460 we found land. Oh my God, I think we're safe. 01:01:13.460 --> 01:01:21.159 Oh no. It's an island of horrible jokes. Why 01:01:21.159 --> 01:01:25.519 do? Golfers take an extra pair of socks with 01:01:25.519 --> 01:01:29.559 them when they golf. In case they get a hole 01:01:29.559 --> 01:01:35.199 in one. Now it's time for pickup lines from a 01:01:35.199 --> 01:01:39.000 loser. You're pretty and I'm cute. Together we 01:01:39.000 --> 01:01:48.320 could be pretty cute. All those who believe in 01:01:48.320 --> 01:01:54.090 psychokinesis, raise my hand. That needs to happen. 01:02:09.489 --> 01:02:11.889 This is Two Douchebags and Microphone. We're 01:02:11.889 --> 01:02:13.849 operating here in the middle of America. This 01:02:13.849 --> 01:02:16.630 is the Kansas City side of it, and my name is 01:02:16.630 --> 01:02:26.010 Mark. That's right. And together we are two douchebags 01:02:26.010 --> 01:02:29.750 in microphone, and you are our listener, I think. 01:02:31.050 --> 01:02:34.389 All right. Which we call assholes. Yes, yeah. 01:02:34.469 --> 01:02:37.989 So at the end of each show, if we say goodnight 01:02:37.989 --> 01:02:40.949 assholes, it's endearingly. It's not a flip -off. 01:02:41.369 --> 01:02:43.650 It's just like at the end of every Sports Bastards, 01:02:43.670 --> 01:02:45.829 I tell everyone to go fuck themselves. That's 01:02:45.829 --> 01:02:49.010 endearingly. It's nothing mean. It's just like 01:02:49.010 --> 01:02:53.260 we love you. Rob, you got something you want 01:02:53.260 --> 01:03:03.860 to go into? Oh, hang on real quick. We owe Benny 01:03:03.860 --> 01:03:09.980 from Rosedale pencil shavings. He caught Carmine 01:03:09.980 --> 01:03:14.260 Ragusa. It is from Laverne and Shirley, the big 01:03:14.260 --> 01:03:19.719 ragu. Benny, I will deliver them to you personally, 01:03:19.940 --> 01:03:21.820 okay? Because I know they'll get there. If we 01:03:21.820 --> 01:03:25.619 send them USPS, they may not arrive, okay? So 01:03:25.619 --> 01:03:51.239 I'll meet you somewhere. So it really did happen 01:03:51.239 --> 01:03:54.119 so that blah, blah, blah lady did it instead 01:03:54.119 --> 01:04:00.460 of Carmine Ragusa. Good job. Good job. After 01:04:00.460 --> 01:04:03.619 we had that podcast up, it took virtually about 01:04:03.619 --> 01:04:08.420 an hour. And Benny already... He must have downloaded 01:04:08.420 --> 01:04:12.219 the show right after and listened to it and got 01:04:12.219 --> 01:04:15.099 you. So I will deliver you the pencil shavings. 01:04:15.219 --> 01:04:18.340 I'm going to start dodging them. Yeah. I'm going 01:04:18.340 --> 01:04:20.699 to, I'll meet him at Rosedale BBQ or something 01:04:20.699 --> 01:04:23.320 and give him his pencil shavings. Haven't been 01:04:23.320 --> 01:04:25.940 there in a long time. Anyhow, Rob, go ahead. 01:04:26.019 --> 01:04:52.489 Sorry. Sounds good. Fighting in the NHL game, 01:04:52.710 --> 01:05:00.190 as we all know, is not a rare thing. Which those 01:05:00.190 --> 01:05:07.130 don't know who NHL is at odds. Mm -hmm. Players 01:05:07.130 --> 01:05:09.989 over the years have often thrown down their gloves 01:05:09.989 --> 01:05:14.010 to show their differences with their fists. But 01:05:14.010 --> 01:05:17.710 something happened during a fight on Monday night. 01:05:18.030 --> 01:05:23.570 Toronto Maple Leafs Utah Hockey Club game that 01:05:23.570 --> 01:05:29.269 probably has never been seen before. A Superman 01:05:29.269 --> 01:05:36.050 punch was thrown. Okay. Do you know what Superman 01:05:36.050 --> 01:05:39.690 punch is? I think I do, but go ahead, explain 01:05:39.690 --> 01:05:53.869 it. Simon Benoit jumped in the air and threw 01:05:53.869 --> 01:05:58.550 said Superman punch at Utah's Michael Kesslery. 01:05:59.409 --> 01:06:03.369 Okay, do you know Roman Reigns from the WWE? 01:06:03.889 --> 01:06:07.309 Yeah, yeah, oh yeah. He's known for jumping up 01:06:07.309 --> 01:06:10.210 the air and coming down with that punch. You 01:06:10.210 --> 01:06:13.889 know why they call it the Superman punch, don't 01:06:13.889 --> 01:06:25.590 you? Because Superman punches in the air. Well, 01:06:27.230 --> 01:06:56.769 this happened at a hockey game. If you're going 01:06:56.769 --> 01:07:01.650 to throw a Superman punch, you then can't immediately 01:07:01.650 --> 01:07:07.889 lose the fight. It reminds me of Robin Ventura 01:07:07.889 --> 01:07:11.090 against Old Man Nolan Ryan. Remember that fiasco? 01:07:11.510 --> 01:07:15.369 Yes. Old Man Nolan Ryan fucking beat his ass, 01:07:15.670 --> 01:07:19.269 that young buck. Beat the shit out of him. So, 01:07:19.329 --> 01:07:22.090 there you go. Superman Punch did not do him well. 01:07:23.349 --> 01:07:26.730 Both players served their five -minute major 01:07:26.730 --> 01:07:30.690 penalties and then returned to the ice like nothing 01:07:30.690 --> 01:07:35.190 had happened. They're hockey players. That's 01:07:35.190 --> 01:07:42.510 what they do. I ran across that one. And with 01:07:42.510 --> 01:07:48.139 that entrance music, it'd be a good story. That 01:07:48.139 --> 01:07:50.000 was a good story, Rob. I'm going to have to look 01:07:50.000 --> 01:07:54.360 that up now. And also, the Superman punch, if 01:07:54.360 --> 01:07:56.059 no one's familiar with it, now you are. It's 01:07:56.059 --> 01:07:59.239 a really cool term. Because on every comic, whenever 01:07:59.239 --> 01:08:03.559 Superman punches, his feet are in the air. He's 01:08:03.559 --> 01:08:07.059 never on the ground punching. So he flies up 01:08:07.059 --> 01:08:10.739 a little bit to get added strength. All right. 01:08:11.219 --> 01:08:17.100 Remember we used to do Flu Wars? Yeah, I do, 01:08:17.199 --> 01:08:19.619 too. Well, we're bringing them back, okay? Food 01:08:19.619 --> 01:08:22.319 wars happen like this. I was in a Costco one 01:08:22.319 --> 01:08:25.060 day, and I'm walking through the produce aisle, 01:08:25.180 --> 01:08:27.420 and I'm sitting there looking at vegetables and 01:08:27.420 --> 01:08:30.880 the fruits, and I'm thinking, what would happen 01:08:30.880 --> 01:08:33.720 if that pear jumped out of the box and started 01:08:33.720 --> 01:08:35.439 kicking the shit out of that orange? Who would 01:08:35.439 --> 01:08:40.380 win? Don't ask me why. It's the way I work. Rob, 01:08:40.539 --> 01:08:42.659 do you work like that, too? That'd be something 01:08:42.659 --> 01:08:46.970 you'd think, too, right? Yeah, it's just something 01:08:46.970 --> 01:08:48.770 for a guy to ponder while he's sitting there 01:08:48.770 --> 01:08:52.189 looking for some apples. Okay, so that's where 01:08:52.189 --> 01:08:54.989 this came from. So Rob and I decided we're going 01:08:54.989 --> 01:08:57.489 to start pitting food against each other. So 01:08:57.489 --> 01:09:00.289 this is the latest installment of Food Wars. 01:09:00.649 --> 01:09:04.689 So the first on the docket, Rob, is lasagna versus 01:09:04.689 --> 01:09:11.029 chicken parmesan. That's a tough one. I'm leaning 01:09:11.029 --> 01:09:13.949 towards the chicken parmesan. Really? Lasagna. 01:09:14.149 --> 01:09:24.409 Okay, go ahead. Oh, it's going to burn. Yeah, 01:09:26.229 --> 01:09:28.770 that's true. See, I was thinking chicken parm 01:09:28.770 --> 01:09:33.109 was deep fried or fried in a skillet. So I was 01:09:33.109 --> 01:09:34.609 thinking it was going to be a tougher exterior 01:09:34.609 --> 01:09:38.090 and that the lasagna couldn't penetrate it. But 01:09:38.090 --> 01:09:40.050 actually, you're right. With all the spices and 01:09:40.050 --> 01:09:43.029 the acidy tomato sauce, it would eat away that 01:09:43.029 --> 01:09:47.489 crust. And then the chicken inside is soft, so 01:09:47.489 --> 01:09:50.520 it would kill it. You're right. All right. Lasagna 01:09:50.520 --> 01:09:53.539 is the proclaimed winner of that versus chicken 01:09:53.539 --> 01:09:58.239 parmesan. This next one, I think I know who's 01:09:58.239 --> 01:10:00.340 going to win, but this is a tough one, too. How 01:10:00.340 --> 01:10:03.880 about beef ravioli versus fully loaded nachos? 01:10:06.699 --> 01:10:10.140 Fully loaded nachos. Yes. Yeah, I think so, too. 01:10:10.239 --> 01:10:13.140 If nothing else, the weight. Because fully loaded 01:10:13.140 --> 01:10:17.359 has beef, it has cheese, it has olives, it has 01:10:17.359 --> 01:10:21.319 peppers, it has... all this stuff on it, and 01:10:21.319 --> 01:10:24.279 I think the weight alone, it would just, it would 01:10:24.279 --> 01:10:27.119 go over there and just smash the ravioli into 01:10:27.119 --> 01:10:30.600 nothing. So, even if it's fried ravioli, I still 01:10:30.600 --> 01:10:36.100 think it would do it. So, is that a yes? Yeah, 01:10:36.100 --> 01:10:39.939 I give it the nachos. Okay, we hereby proclaim 01:10:39.939 --> 01:10:42.199 fully loaded nachos the winner of that bout. 01:10:43.279 --> 01:10:46.539 Alright, the next one is a chicken soft taco. 01:10:47.130 --> 01:10:55.649 versus a bean burrito. Hmm. Bean burrito could 01:10:55.649 --> 01:10:58.890 be kind of bad because of... Bean burrito. Bean 01:10:58.890 --> 01:11:02.289 burrito. Yeah. Because it's heavier, and it's 01:11:02.289 --> 01:11:04.489 also in the shape of like a small little baseball 01:11:04.489 --> 01:11:08.390 bat, too. That's where I was going, like a little 01:11:08.390 --> 01:11:10.529 baseball bat. Yeah, and it would just start beating 01:11:10.529 --> 01:11:12.649 the shit out of the soft taco, and the soft taco 01:11:12.649 --> 01:11:14.430 would just like, just get minced. Yeah, soft 01:11:14.430 --> 01:11:18.729 taco. No, the soft taco will be sitting there 01:11:18.729 --> 01:11:22.130 crying, begging for it to stop. Yeah, yeah. A 01:11:22.130 --> 01:11:24.670 bean burrito is mean anyhow. You've got to watch 01:11:24.670 --> 01:11:27.569 them. Oh, yeah, boy. Oh, yeah. I mean, you don't 01:11:27.569 --> 01:11:29.810 turn your back on one of them. A bean burrito 01:11:29.810 --> 01:11:31.630 will smack the shit out of you when you turn 01:11:31.630 --> 01:11:35.170 around. So, yeah. Actually, afterwards. Oh, yeah, 01:11:35.170 --> 01:11:37.149 yeah. Oh, boy, they really smack you good there. 01:11:38.350 --> 01:11:42.770 So, we hereby proclaim a bean burrito the winner 01:11:42.770 --> 01:11:45.630 over the chicken soft taco. Unanimous decision. 01:11:46.729 --> 01:11:49.069 This next one's kind of tough because it's both 01:11:49.069 --> 01:11:55.489 basically garnishes or sauces or whatever. Cilantro 01:11:55.489 --> 01:12:05.850 versus Pico de Gallo. I know. Well, the ironic 01:12:05.850 --> 01:12:09.289 thing is cilantro is part of Pico de Gallo, but 01:12:09.289 --> 01:12:12.970 cilantro alone is more concentrated. But Pico 01:12:12.970 --> 01:12:16.090 de Gallo, I think because of the acidity in the 01:12:16.090 --> 01:12:19.210 tomatoes and just the... Yeah, I would have to 01:12:19.210 --> 01:12:22.210 give it to Pico. Yeah, I think Pico would win. 01:12:22.310 --> 01:12:24.630 Because I think if nothing else, Pico could jump 01:12:24.630 --> 01:12:30.470 on top of it and smother it. What do you think? 01:12:31.449 --> 01:12:37.079 Yeah. Yeah, and also, I mean... You don't think 01:12:37.079 --> 01:12:39.220 the cilantro could talk to the cilantro and the 01:12:39.220 --> 01:12:41.319 pico and get it to switch sides, do you? It's 01:12:41.319 --> 01:12:47.180 like, hey, we're the same thing. It still wouldn't 01:12:47.180 --> 01:12:51.000 matter. Okay, you know what? It still wouldn't 01:12:51.000 --> 01:12:53.399 matter. Pico is still heavier. Cilantro is light. 01:12:53.520 --> 01:12:55.920 So it doesn't matter if all the cilantro went 01:12:55.920 --> 01:12:59.319 to one side. Pico would still win. All right, 01:12:59.380 --> 01:13:03.199 so we proclaim Pico de Gallo the winner by unanimous 01:13:03.199 --> 01:13:06.829 decision over cilantro. All right, this next 01:13:06.829 --> 01:13:12.109 one is cabbage versus a chef's salad. Now, cabbage 01:13:12.109 --> 01:13:15.409 is pretty tough, but chef's salad is the weight 01:13:15.409 --> 01:13:18.329 of it. And chef's salad, what, usually has like 01:13:18.329 --> 01:13:24.310 ham and turkey on it, right? Yeah. And cheese. 01:13:24.989 --> 01:13:34.800 It's pretty heavy. I think we're going to have 01:13:34.800 --> 01:13:36.960 to give it to the head, right? Because, I mean, 01:13:36.979 --> 01:13:39.659 if you walk through a produce aisle, right, you 01:13:39.659 --> 01:13:42.340 don't see cabbage cut up. Okay, okay. Then cabbage 01:13:42.340 --> 01:13:44.659 is going to win. I've got to give it to cabbage, 01:13:44.720 --> 01:13:46.920 then. Me too, because it's in the head. It's 01:13:46.920 --> 01:13:49.619 like a bowling ball, and it will smash the chef's 01:13:49.619 --> 01:13:52.659 salad. Yep, you're right. Good call, Rob. Good 01:13:52.659 --> 01:13:56.800 call. Yeah, cabbage head. Yep. Bumped up a lot 01:13:56.800 --> 01:14:00.739 of shit, to be honest. Yeah, it will. This next 01:14:00.739 --> 01:14:02.800 one, I think, is pretty easy, but I don't know. 01:14:03.199 --> 01:14:07.060 Think about it a little bit. So we proclaim cabbage 01:14:07.060 --> 01:14:12.020 winner unanimous over chef's salad. So cabbage 01:14:12.020 --> 01:14:15.560 will go on to the next round. Cadbury Easter 01:14:15.560 --> 01:14:25.380 Bunny versus a cinnamon roll. Is a Cadbury bunny, 01:14:25.560 --> 01:14:32.409 is it solid or is it hollow? If they're hollow, 01:14:32.529 --> 01:14:35.510 I think the cinnamon roll. I think Cadbury is 01:14:35.510 --> 01:14:41.069 fine. I think they might be solid. Then Cadbury 01:14:41.069 --> 01:14:43.369 would win. The Easter Bunny would win if they're 01:14:43.369 --> 01:14:46.090 solid. They would smash a cinnamon roll. Now, 01:14:46.109 --> 01:14:47.649 if they're hollow, but I think you're right. 01:14:47.750 --> 01:14:52.310 Cadbury. Okay. You going to look it up? Yes. 01:14:53.689 --> 01:14:57.770 Okay. That's what makes this segment so cool. 01:15:05.550 --> 01:15:08.369 Well, Rob is looking that up. I'm going to tell 01:15:08.369 --> 01:15:22.529 you what. What now? Oh. Well, we may have to 01:15:22.529 --> 01:15:25.569 move off of that. Okay. You know what? That is 01:15:25.569 --> 01:15:29.510 going to be determined in the future. We're going 01:15:29.510 --> 01:15:31.149 to do our research, and we're going to come back 01:15:31.149 --> 01:15:33.750 with a winner. And you guys got the premium service 01:15:33.750 --> 01:15:35.649 there. I was giving you the goat noises. And 01:15:35.649 --> 01:15:38.250 that feed, the goat and the duck noises are $9 01:15:38.250 --> 01:15:41.810 .99 a month. And we gave you some premium feed 01:15:41.810 --> 01:15:46.069 while Rob was looking that up. All right, next 01:15:46.069 --> 01:15:53.390 one. Teriyaki chicken versus general sow chicken. 01:15:54.689 --> 01:15:58.850 Now, teriyaki chicken is like full of the teriyaki 01:15:58.850 --> 01:16:01.899 sauce and has vegetables in it and peppers. Yeah, 01:16:01.960 --> 01:16:06.140 General is like crunchy and it's spicy. Yeah, 01:16:06.220 --> 01:16:09.319 I think General's sour. It's got sweet, but it's 01:16:09.319 --> 01:16:12.239 got that spicy. That spice, that zing. It's gonna 01:16:12.239 --> 01:16:14.680 whip its ass. Yeah, I think it would beat the 01:16:14.680 --> 01:16:17.279 shit out of teriyaki chicken. And then when it's 01:16:17.279 --> 01:16:19.239 like standing over it, it would like give it 01:16:19.239 --> 01:16:21.859 like the spit where it spits and it like sucks 01:16:21.859 --> 01:16:26.000 it back in. And it keeps doing that. And then 01:16:26.000 --> 01:16:31.229 finally just spits on it and leaves. Right? Next 01:16:31.229 --> 01:16:36.010 one, Reuben versus a club sandwich. Now, Reuben 01:16:36.010 --> 01:16:38.569 has sauerkraut and Thousand Island dressing and 01:16:38.569 --> 01:16:42.850 pastrami, right? Pastrami is pretty spicy. Yeah, 01:16:42.970 --> 01:16:45.750 Reuben will win. And also, a Reuben is toasted, 01:16:45.949 --> 01:16:47.850 too. Well, I don't know about club sandwiches. 01:16:47.890 --> 01:16:50.250 I think a club sandwich is, too. But a Reuben's 01:16:50.250 --> 01:16:52.430 also on that rye bread, which is really thick 01:16:52.430 --> 01:16:55.710 and kind of a spicy bread. So be it, Reuben. 01:16:55.930 --> 01:17:02.210 So, okay. Yeah, that's right. Yep. All right. 01:17:02.270 --> 01:17:05.170 So Ruben is the unanimous winner over the club 01:17:05.170 --> 01:17:08.229 sandwich. Mr. Ruben, you get to go on to the 01:17:08.229 --> 01:17:12.010 next round. And then finally, chicken tenders 01:17:12.010 --> 01:17:18.409 versus pizza rolls. I think I'm going to go with 01:17:18.409 --> 01:17:21.189 pizza rolls because they're crispy and they have 01:17:21.189 --> 01:17:25.369 a little spicy sauce in them. Chicken tenders 01:17:25.369 --> 01:17:28.270 are... Just kind of like chicken tenders. I think 01:17:28.270 --> 01:17:30.689 once a pizza roll jumps on it, it's going to 01:17:30.689 --> 01:17:34.170 smash it. Yeah, because they're not even real 01:17:34.170 --> 01:17:36.869 chicken. Yeah, yeah. They're just like chicken 01:17:36.869 --> 01:17:39.750 assholes and beaks ground up with some breading. 01:17:40.229 --> 01:17:47.250 So, all right. It is unanimous. The pizza rolls 01:17:47.250 --> 01:17:58.449 win. So, all right. Rob, you got something? He's 01:17:58.449 --> 01:18:01.310 made history by securing the Guinness Book of 01:18:01.310 --> 01:18:06.010 World Records for the hairiest face on a man. 01:18:07.090 --> 01:18:16.590 Solid. An 18 -year -old. Solid. Give me credit 01:18:16.590 --> 01:18:23.229 for trying here. Okay. Larry Adidar has nearly 01:18:23.229 --> 01:18:29.390 202 hairs per square centimeter. on his face 01:18:29.390 --> 01:18:34.850 due to a rare condition. Wow. Hypertrichosis. 01:18:35.189 --> 01:18:39.210 I've actually heard of that. Or werewolf syndrome. 01:18:39.810 --> 01:18:45.130 Uh -huh. Wow. Does it have a picture of him? 01:18:45.189 --> 01:18:50.050 It is funky looking. Yes, it does. Yeah, it looks 01:18:50.050 --> 01:18:55.029 like a dog. Yeah. Yeah, they used to be like 01:18:55.029 --> 01:19:05.140 in the traveling circuses as Wolfman. Okay. Despite 01:19:05.140 --> 01:19:08.680 facing stares from classmates as a child, the 01:19:08.680 --> 01:19:16.819 teenager from the central Medea, Redash state 01:19:16.819 --> 01:19:22.119 of those Guinness Book of World Records, he embraces 01:19:22.119 --> 01:19:26.220 his uniqueness and now shares glimpses of his 01:19:26.220 --> 01:20:08.560 daily life on his YouTube channel. Wow. Wow. 01:20:35.979 --> 01:20:39.500 title, he said, I am speechless. I don't know 01:20:39.500 --> 01:20:43.619 what to say because I am very happy and get this 01:20:43.619 --> 01:20:56.779 recognition. $900 has 265 ,000 followers on Instagram 01:20:56.779 --> 01:21:07.180 and 108 ,000 on YouTube. He's making the most 01:21:07.180 --> 01:21:10.619 of it, isn't he? I'm going to send this to you 01:21:10.619 --> 01:21:13.260 right now. Okay, thank you. I'll take a look 01:21:13.260 --> 01:21:17.279 at it. I got a little story here I'd like to 01:21:17.279 --> 01:21:21.199 go into if you're done. Yeah, that's it. Okay. 01:21:22.659 --> 01:21:25.180 Americans have a new trend. It's having people 01:21:25.180 --> 01:21:31.020 sit in line for you. Yep. And often it is as 01:21:31.020 --> 01:21:34.239 high as $50 an hour, if not a little bit more. 01:21:35.580 --> 01:21:38.500 The service is available through companies' online 01:21:38.500 --> 01:21:42.340 marketplaces. One of the companies is called 01:21:42.340 --> 01:21:44.899 Same Old Line Dudes. This company has people 01:21:44.899 --> 01:21:48.699 for hire to stand in line for concerts, sample 01:21:48.699 --> 01:21:53.079 sales, and the Macy's Day Parade. So you can 01:21:53.079 --> 01:21:55.500 hire someone to, you don't want to sit in line, 01:21:55.539 --> 01:21:56.979 and then they come over there and they're like, 01:21:57.039 --> 01:21:59.500 here you go, and then they leave. And then you're 01:21:59.500 --> 01:22:01.199 like, they're in line, they wait in line for 01:22:01.199 --> 01:22:03.590 four hours to get the tickets or whatever. You 01:22:03.590 --> 01:22:05.930 pay that guy $50 an hour. He stands in line for 01:22:05.930 --> 01:22:08.010 you. Then he calls you and goes, hey, man, I'm 01:22:08.010 --> 01:22:09.630 almost to the end here. You better get over here. 01:22:09.729 --> 01:22:12.050 Then he gets over there, and then he leaves, 01:22:12.130 --> 01:22:14.850 and you stand in line for him or vice versa. 01:22:15.550 --> 01:22:18.270 Robert Samuel, another online standing company, 01:22:18.350 --> 01:22:22.369 says they are always booked solid. Online marketplaces 01:22:22.369 --> 01:22:27.430 are the best way to get them. There's a website 01:22:27.430 --> 01:22:31.569 called TaskRabbit. You can find a line stander. 01:22:32.090 --> 01:22:35.529 A placer is another that can fetch you a line 01:22:35.529 --> 01:22:39.489 person as well. Line sitters usually have a flat 01:22:39.489 --> 01:22:42.109 rate but can ask more for inclement weather. 01:22:42.270 --> 01:22:46.529 So if it's like snowing or storming or some shit, 01:22:46.569 --> 01:22:48.810 hailing, they get a little bit more money, of 01:22:48.810 --> 01:22:50.930 course, because they're out there in the inclement 01:22:50.930 --> 01:22:53.810 weather while you are somewhere staying dry and 01:22:53.810 --> 01:22:57.989 warm. So it's generally like $40, $50 an hour 01:22:57.989 --> 01:23:00.369 unless there's bad weather and then the rate 01:23:00.369 --> 01:23:02.670 gets hiked. But the thing is, is they're book 01:23:02.670 --> 01:23:05.270 solid all the time. People buy this service all 01:23:05.270 --> 01:23:07.909 the time. And it started with Disney, I believe. 01:23:08.409 --> 01:23:10.229 People didn't want to wait in line at Disney, 01:23:10.430 --> 01:23:13.029 so they hired somebody to do it for them. And 01:23:13.029 --> 01:23:15.350 it's companies that are around the Disney area 01:23:15.350 --> 01:23:17.949 there. And they're like line sitters and stuff 01:23:17.949 --> 01:23:20.609 like that. And people go there and go, yeah, 01:23:20.649 --> 01:23:23.890 we need four people sitting in line for us to 01:23:23.890 --> 01:23:25.789 go to Disney. And then they like call you on 01:23:25.789 --> 01:23:27.529 your cell or something and go, hey, get down 01:23:27.529 --> 01:23:31.699 here. We're five away. Interesting stuff, isn't 01:23:31.699 --> 01:23:35.220 it? Entrepreneurs are everywhere, Rob. Oh, definitely. 01:23:35.720 --> 01:23:38.840 Yeah. I mean, isn't that a great plan, though? 01:23:38.880 --> 01:23:41.260 I mean, look, people are willing to pay for it. 01:23:41.300 --> 01:23:44.380 You don't need any skills. You don't need anything 01:23:44.380 --> 01:23:48.720 except yourself and a way to get there. I mean, 01:23:48.739 --> 01:23:50.979 you talk about making a startup company out of 01:23:50.979 --> 01:23:54.000 nothing. You need nothing to start up a company 01:23:54.000 --> 01:23:58.539 like this. Maybe a little bit of gas money. Brilliant. 01:23:59.500 --> 01:24:03.239 And they're all booked solid. Hell yeah. I mean, 01:24:03.260 --> 01:24:05.039 who wouldn't? I mean, you know, if they paid 01:24:05.039 --> 01:24:07.939 me fucking 50 bucks an hour to do it and it was 01:24:07.939 --> 01:24:11.220 on my day off, I'd consider it. I probably wouldn't 01:24:11.220 --> 01:24:13.340 because I like my time too much to myself. But, 01:24:13.359 --> 01:24:15.520 I mean, I would definitely consider it. I mean, 01:24:15.539 --> 01:24:19.659 that's fucking easy money, right? 50 bucks an 01:24:19.659 --> 01:24:21.800 hour? 50 bucks an hour. That's around full time? 01:24:22.300 --> 01:24:27.199 Yep, there you go. Wow, yeah. You could probably 01:24:27.199 --> 01:24:29.430 do this, Rob. You probably have to move. You 01:24:29.430 --> 01:24:31.229 probably have to move to a larger urban area, 01:24:31.329 --> 01:24:33.550 but you could do this if you wanted to. You can 01:24:33.550 --> 01:24:38.770 sign up online even as a line sitter. And they 01:24:38.770 --> 01:24:40.590 find the work for you. I don't know how much 01:24:40.590 --> 01:24:43.210 they take from you for that. Like, let's say 01:24:43.210 --> 01:24:45.149 if you get 50 bucks an hour, maybe they take 01:24:45.149 --> 01:24:47.689 like three or so. I don't know what the logistics 01:24:47.689 --> 01:24:50.329 of that is. Yeah, that's true. Or you could probably 01:24:50.329 --> 01:24:54.159 do it yourself. So, anyhow. All right, Rob, you 01:24:54.159 --> 01:24:57.000 got anything? We're at 9 .22 p .m. right now. 01:24:57.060 --> 01:24:58.979 Are you ready to shut this shit show down, or 01:24:58.979 --> 01:25:02.039 you got anything else? No, actually, I got another 01:25:02.039 --> 01:25:03.840 one. All right. I got another one. All right, 01:25:03.840 --> 01:25:09.500 Rob. For many, a trip to McDonald's wasn't complete 01:25:09.500 --> 01:25:13.399 without catching a glimpse of an iconic red -haired 01:25:13.399 --> 01:25:19.399 Ronald McDonald statue. Mm -hmm. Often stationed 01:25:19.399 --> 01:25:23.710 near the entrance to greet customers. If you're 01:25:23.710 --> 01:25:27.329 particularly fortunate, a real -life Ronald might 01:25:27.329 --> 01:25:30.310 even make an appearance at your birthday party. 01:25:31.430 --> 01:25:37.090 However, this once cherished figure has largely 01:25:37.090 --> 01:25:41.250 vanished from both McDonald's stores and marketing 01:25:41.250 --> 01:25:46.130 materials. And the reason behind it is quite 01:25:46.130 --> 01:25:52.109 unsettling. I had noticed that too, and I didn't 01:25:52.109 --> 01:25:59.579 know it. The fast food giant began phasing out 01:25:59.579 --> 01:26:05.220 the red -haired clown in 2016, largely due to 01:26:05.220 --> 01:26:11.539 a disturbing social media trend. At the time, 01:26:11.640 --> 01:26:16.079 individuals with known sinister clown attire 01:26:16.079 --> 01:26:21.180 made photos and showed them online. The phenomenon 01:26:21.180 --> 01:26:26.699 even led to groups of... and clown masks showing 01:26:26.699 --> 01:26:33.819 up at schools across the U .S. Sorry about the 01:26:33.819 --> 01:26:37.140 noise there, but I dropped something. Wow. Oh, 01:26:37.140 --> 01:26:41.300 you're fine. One incident in Florida involved 01:26:41.300 --> 01:26:45.840 a family being attacked by a group of 20 individuals 01:26:45.840 --> 01:26:51.859 wearing clown masks. The resurgence of horror 01:26:51.859 --> 01:27:06.340 movies like It, Clown, As a result, McDonald's 01:27:06.340 --> 01:27:10.260 made the decision to retire Ronald due to the 01:27:10.260 --> 01:27:14.600 shifting public perception of clowns. In a statement 01:27:14.600 --> 01:27:19.859 released at the time, it got explained, McDonald's 01:27:19.859 --> 01:27:24.380 and franchises in the local markets are mindful 01:27:24.380 --> 01:27:27.680 of the current climate around clown sightings 01:27:27.680 --> 01:27:40.039 in communities. beauty events for the time being 01:27:40.039 --> 01:27:54.279 wow um uh this news follows oh oh yeah this news 01:27:54.279 --> 01:28:02.340 follows the passing of willard scott the original 01:28:02.340 --> 01:28:19.920 ronald I hadn't a clue either. I had no idea. 01:28:22.720 --> 01:28:29.859 Wow. Pretty cool. Yeah, that's why they've done 01:28:29.859 --> 01:28:33.340 the wrong way with Ronald McDonald. It's because 01:28:33.340 --> 01:28:36.779 of the fear of clowns. Yeah, and then also all 01:28:36.779 --> 01:28:39.720 the Stephen King movies and stuff like that didn't 01:28:39.720 --> 01:28:43.560 help either. I mean, there have been a lot of 01:28:43.560 --> 01:28:49.590 killer clown movies. Okay, that makes sense. 01:28:49.689 --> 01:28:52.750 It really, really does. I didn't know about the 01:28:52.750 --> 01:28:55.810 social media trend, though. That's crazy. Well, 01:28:55.810 --> 01:28:57.949 yeah, I mean, you know, people going on about 01:28:57.949 --> 01:29:02.949 clowns and stuff. Yeah. Wow. It was all over. 01:29:03.430 --> 01:29:08.289 It was on Facebook, everywhere. Okay. Well, that's 01:29:08.289 --> 01:29:11.949 how much I know. I had no idea, so. All right. 01:29:13.949 --> 01:29:17.229 Well, it's 926. You need to shut this shit down, 01:29:17.289 --> 01:29:25.069 or what? Alrighty, my friend. Thank you again 01:29:25.069 --> 01:29:27.310 for joining us. And everybody, thank you for 01:29:27.310 --> 01:29:30.770 listening. Have a good night, assholes. Good 01:29:30.770 --> 01:29:35.510 night, assholes. Oh, no. Looks like the show's 01:29:35.510 --> 01:29:39.109 over, kids. Mark has explosive diarrhea and can't 01:29:39.109 --> 01:29:42.550 afford a wireless mic. Fear not, assholes. They'll 01:29:42.550 --> 01:29:44.369 be back invading your ear holes soon.