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two douchebags and a microphone. And now, Deep
Thoughts with Mark. Should I record frog sounds
in the summer, then play them when it's zero
degrees on my ring doorbell for the Amazon guy?
Hmm. Yeah, that sounds like fun. Deep Thoughts
with Mark. Hmm, let's see. If I identify as a
dog and I start wandering around the block without
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pick me up? Hmm, I may never know. Two douchebags,
a microphone, and an effort to keep everything
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I can't believe the coffee grinder is broke at
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to grind my coffee beans every damn morning.
Two douchebags and a microphone. operating from
Kansas City, Missouri. I am the Mark portion
of it. And I am Rob at Lake of the Ozarks. Beautiful
Lake of the Ozarks. I got to looking at some
resorts there today. 82 degrees when I got off
work today, bro. Oh, nice. It was gorgeous. It
was about 78 here, but that was good enough.
I was happy with 78. It was beautiful. We had
a few thin clouds, I think. Otherwise, it would
have been 82 here, too. But I have no complaints
except for the poison ivy I got out in the yard.
Picking up wounds. Oh, you did get it. Oh, yeah.
Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, I got it. It finds me, I
swear. It just sits there and it lays low. It's
like, okay, everyone, be quiet. There he is.
Go get him. Fucking jump on me. Now I got it
little pieces here, little pieces there. And
believe me, by tomorrow it'll connect the dots.
It always does. I'll have some on my toe. I'll
have some on my finger. I'll have some on my
forehead. By the time it's done, it'll work us
all the way up and down. Ugh, I fucking hate
that stuff. But, you know, all the damage that
the two blizzards did and the stuff in between,
I got it picked up and cut. But I mean, you know,
at the price of getting poison ivy, if it gets
too bad, I'm just going to call the doctor and
say, hey, send me a steroid pack or send me a
script for a steroid pack and just get rid of
the shit real quick. Because steroid will get
rid of it just like that. A steroid pack. You
take five at first, then four, then three, then
two, then one. By the time you're done with the
five the first day, it's already almost gone.
I'm just looking at it because I'm not going
to deal with this shit anymore. I'm tired of
it. I'll just go ahead and take the steroids,
get hungry and cranky, and get rid of that bullshit.
Anyhow, I was going up to the city market Tuesday.
Topher had to bow out. He wasn't feeling well.
He had a bad migraine. So I asked him today,
too, how he was doing. He said he still wasn't
doing well. So hopefully he gets to feeling better
because migraines suck. So anyhow, I counted
my way up there, which is about an eight -mile
stretch from my house to the city market. Eight
times. I'm not kidding you. Eight times I would
have been hit by another vehicle if I wasn't
a defensive driver, right? Meanwhile, my insurance
rates are fucking ridiculous. You know, we just
got that new Jeep. And then my other Jeep, the
one that I've had, it's ridiculous too. No movement
violation, no wreck of my fault or anybody others
in 10 plus years. And they're still just skyrocketing.
And it's due to people like this. You know, I
mean, should I like, you know, maybe dash cam
record all these asshole driver near misses for
a week and send it in my insurance company and
maybe they could cut me a fucking break, maybe?
You know, what we're doing is... There are insurance
companies that give you something to plug on
into your dash or whatever. There is? Fill me
in. I didn't know. No, they advertise it on TV.
Hmm. Oh, yeah, yeah. That's like that Allstate
thing. And you get money back for being a good...
You know what? That might be something to check
into, Rob. Thank you. Okay, well, all right.
You know, but, you know, we're showing out all
these bucks because these people aren't paying
attention, the idiots behind the wheel. And a
good percentage of them, the other problem is,
a good percentage of them don't have a policy
anyhow, so they don't care. You know, they hit
you, they fucking jump out, and they run off,
and they don't care about the car. You know,
it's an old car. They're not insured. They don't
give a shit. And then if you do get who they
are, you're not going to get money out of them.
They're just going to go, eh, go ahead and sue
me. I won't show up and I won't pay. At best,
they have liability. Yeah, at best, but probably
not even that. And, you know, and in the usual,
the people with some common sense behind the
wheel are being outnumbered by the mentally deficient
dolts. You know what? I'll be done with this
here in a minute. I just got to vent a little
bit. I know you will be. You know, here's what
I'd love to see, though, Rob. A non -insured
lane and an insured lane. Let all the dumb shits
get smacked in their lane. Let all the people
that have to pay for this high -ass insurance,
they will be behaving in the insurance lane.
So right off the bat. That will never happen.
I know it won't happen. It will never happen.
I know it won't happen, but I would fucking love
it. They don't allow uninsured owners, but people
do it anyway. Yeah. Yeah, it would be great,
though. I'm in an insured lane. You fuck stay
over there. Go ahead and kill each other, whatever.
So, you know, also we're paying to see a fucking
emu and a lizard, a caveman, and a bit of Jake
mix in, you know. How about an insurance company
that, like, it kicks off a month of advertising,
let you know there's going to be no more expensive
advertisement campaigns, but you have to jot
down the number and the website to keep it. Smart
people retain the number and info. And then the
mouth breathers will not, right? They'll forget
about it and they'll just, you know, they'll
go get Jake from State Farm or what the fuck
ever. You know, you can call it like word of
mouth insurance company. And I mean, we are paying
a lot for the fucking emu and the lizard and
all of these campaigns that they, you know, I
mean, they advertise constantly. Even the general,
even others are cheap. Yeah, the general did
too good a job about being cheap insurance because
they became a joke. Everyone was like going,
oh, you got the general. It was so bad that they
had to do advertisements to counter that and
go, hey, I was wrong. They are a quality insurance
company. Yeah, they went out and got shot. Yeah,
they had to because people were making fun of
that little bastard with a helmet and going,
oh, you got the general. You're slumming. Yeah,
they really did too good on that one because
people were like, oh, this thing's a joke. Actually,
I've used them before. I used them on one vehicle.
Yes, yes. I remember that. ads for it. And anyhow,
I used that for a while. But that was back when
I had that SR -22 because I did dumb shit and
I was running into everything constantly. So,
anyhow. Anyhow, we do really well here in the
greater Kansas City Metroplex, right? Here's
what I'd like to know. What are people doing
in place of Johnny Dare Morning Show? Are they
streaming? Are they doing satellite? We want
your feedback. We're curious. Did you swear off
98 .9 after the layoff? What happened? Are you
still listening to 98 .9? I figured we would
have had some emails by now. Well, we do have
a little bit. Not as much as I wanted, though.
Not as much as I wanted. I thought more people
were going to be venting or something, but really
not too much of that. I want to know what people
are doing, so here's your invite to please email
us, doucheb66 at yahoo .com. I believe it's working
now. I think it's working again. Yeah, we keep
forgetting to give it up. I know. I know. So
we get the same, like, ten people like Mitch.
Mitch is constantly badgering us with shit. So
anyhow. I like Mitch. Mitch, he's a terrorist.
He sneaks in, throws a bomb, and runs off. Actually,
he's pretty clever. I mean, he really is. I think
he'd be a neat guy to know. So, Mitch, keep the
little zingers coming. We love him. It makes
everything more interesting, you know. He's like
that puncher that runs in there and throws a
jab and then runs off. He's like, bam, there
you go, bye. Yeah, so. Okay, so you know that
Odyssey, previous, they took off 96 .5 The Buzz,
and they made it into an all -sports station,
right? Yeah, they did. 96 .5 The Buzz is no more.
And they made it to FM Sports Station, which
is the home base for Royals and Chiefs both.
They are both on the same channel now, the home
of the, I forgot what they call them, flagship.
Both flagship stations are 96 .5 for the Royals
and the Chiefs, and they got them all under one
umbrella now. And so 96 .5, the fan is doing
really well. So I'm getting the feeling that
Laszlo is probably being kept because the Rock's
going to transfer. transform into an alternative
leaning rock station, like 98 .9 The X or 98
.9 The Edge or something like that. That's what
I think is going on, because I think what Odyssey
did was they looked at it, and they said, you
know, we have a lot of overlap on these advertisers
between The Rock and The Buzz, and The Rock had
a lot of overlap with 101 The Fox, too. So now,
instead of hearing Pink Floyd on The Rock, you're
going to probably hear something alternative
mixed in with rock, harder -edged rock. So I
think that's what's going to happen is they're
changing the station format enough to where they
can get away with putting Laszlo because he's
on an alternative station for years on the buzz,
right? So that's my feeling of what they're going
to do. I could be completely wrong, but remember
I said that. And we've also been talking about
Johnny going to the Fox. So we'll see. But that's
my prediction is it's just going to become an
alternative rock station. And they're going to
throw them on in the mornings. All right. We
got our morning show already and probably more
affordable and all that. So, you know, they're
just going to tweak 98 .9 into more alternative
rock and then get the buzz listeners and the
rock listeners. together as much as they can.
Some people are going to resist and go, I don't
know. I've got to hear my Metallica. I've got
to hear my Five Finger Death Punch. I don't want
to hear it with Violent Femmes or something.
So anyhow, we'll see if this happens, but I think
if they did that, that would probably be the
most logical idea. That way you've got your own
market. You're not trying to get from the Fox
or nothing. You're over here with Rock instead
of active rock that overlaps into the Fox because
the Fox plays Nirvana. They play Alice in Chains
now. You know, they even play Creed because all
that stuff is 30 years old and it's considered
classic rock. Everything that the Rock used to
play. Yes. So I'm thinking what's going to happen
is they're just going to tweak it a little bit
and it's going to be 98 .9 The X, 98 .9 The Edge,
whatever, something like that. And then you're
going to see it transform into that and probably
Laszlo do mornings. Because I just could not
imagine a station having no morning show, but
an afternoon show. You see what I mean? That
defies logic. You know, on radio as we know it.
But anyhow, it's something slightly different.
This highlight shit is at an all -time annoyance
level. You know, now you just get people highlighting
some garbage on Facebook. that you don't give
a shit about. You know, they highlight all the
people that wished someone on your friends list
a happy birthday, right? So you get this highlight,
okay? And then you get this notice that says,
so -and -so was mentioned in a highlight, okay?
And you get these things all over your feed.
And it's just because someone wished somebody
a happy birthday. And instead of just saying,
hey, everybody. Thank you, guys, everybody that
wished me a happy birthday. They have to fucking
highlight it, and it pisses me off because then
it interrupts my feed. So, anyhow, I think what
I'm going to do, Rob, is this right here. Every
morning, I'm going to highlight an open letter
to everyone saying, hey, I just thought I would
highlight something to waste your fucking time
like you did me. P .S., you stop, I'll stop.
Do you know what I mean? Do you see this shit
all the time now, too? It's annoying as hell,
isn't it? It's like... I don't give a shit if
my friend wished you a happy birthday and you
don't have to fucking let me know by highlighting
it. Quit doing the lazy shit and just say, hey
guys, thanks a lot. Or go like their post or
love it or whatever or say thank you. But don't
involve me in it because I don't know who the
fuck you are and I don't care. So, anyhow. So,
anyhow. So, right now is that weird time of year
where you have two kinds of people, right? They're
the ones that are refusing to let winter go.
And they're wearing a heavy jacket and long pants.
And the others that are all in on summer with
the tank tops and the shorts. It doesn't seem
like there's any way about it. You know, there's
either one or the other, right? They're either
like all buttoned up with these huge winter coats.
Or they're like wearing just full on summer gear.
It's weird. So, anyhow. And that's all I got
for all this stuff right here. I got emails and
stuff like that for later. But anyhow, Rob, you
got something? Yeah, I do. All right. Actually,
there's a little politics involved, but you'll
understand it. Okay. You're going to love it.
Okay. between the United States and Canada has
never been more intense. That's because, for
the most part, the two neighboring countries
have generally been neighborly. But now that
President Donald Trump, Prime Minister Justin
Trudeau aren't seeing eye -to -eye on tariffs,
America and Canada are experiencing some tension.
Canada's Liberal Party recently chose Mark Carney
to Okay. Probably not. Okay. Okay. I like Moosehead.
Moosehead Beer. Yep. Which was founded in 1867,
the same year Canada was founded. Wow. It came
up with a way to encourage Canadians to buy local.
They put together a case of beer that dwarfs
all other cases of beer. You know, I report on
some pretty good cases. Mm -hmm. Yeah. There's
a reason why they came to that specific number.
I would like to hear this. 1 ,461 cans of Moosehead.
Just enough caddy and loggers to get through
a full presidential term. The presidential pack
is only available because... It's clever. And
it's a great gimmick. Well, okay. Look, the Canadian
citizens, like us, have nothing to do with this,
okay? The politics are the politics, okay? The
trade deficit and the tariffs and all that have
nothing to do with the average citizens. So we're
not over here hating at the people over there.
What we're doing is we're like going, Well, you
know what? Isn't there a fairer way of doing
business? I mean, I believe that's what's going
on, right? And I believe that's how come you're
having these standoffs is because our president,
and I'm not saying he's right or wrong, he feels
like we're getting ripped off on the tariffs,
and he's trying to make the playing field more
even for us, okay? But then, you know, half of
my relatives are in Canada, okay? It has nothing
to do with the people of Canada. Yeah. Man, I
have a lot of Canadian friends. I'm up there
every year, usually. You know, COVID kind of
put a damper on that. But other than that, I'm
usually up there every year. And I have a lot
of Canadian friends, and they're all lovely people,
great people. So I think that's something we've
got to keep in mind is there are people like
us. They're just sitting there watching news
going, oh, fuck, I wish I could get this thing
figured out. I don't like being at odds with
them. You know, they're our friends. They're
supposed to be our allies. So, yeah. I mean,
I'll put it like if there was a couple of Canadians
and a couple of Americans in a bar, they wouldn't
start fighting. You know, they'd just be talking.
Yeah, they'd be like, hey, what's the weather
like up there and all that? You know, they wouldn't
even bring up the shit. They'd be like, okay,
you know, that's whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
cold. So, and also, I want to add this here real
quick. Are you done with the story, Rob? Yeah,
yeah, I'm done with that. Okay. I'm still working
out the logistics of getting on YouTube because
I think YouTube is where we need to be according
to everybody, not even TikTok. From what I understand,
YouTube has the best platform for something like
this and the easiest distribution method, too.
And then you can also go live on YouTube. so
you know we could just see that that's what i'm
getting a lot of buzz on the street people keep
asking are you live now we record because we
had like our our commercials yeah which we can
add on the audio version of it easily so it's
like this we could keep doing both if you want
the regular version that we that this is going
to be like this You can just get that, or you
can watch a live one, then go back and hear all
the ha -ha's in the middle, or hopefully ha -ha's.
Speaking of that, what do you think of the new
pledge? I love it. I love it. Okay, good. I liked
it, too. I think I'm going to tweak it a little
bit and put a little bit of noise behind it.
Knoblick is it. It's official. Yes, Knoblick
is it. You got it. I even got a bit about the
information on Knoblick. It is named after the
Knoblick Mountain. Right behind it. It is mostly
a conservation area with a little bitty unincorporated
town in front of the conservation area. But you'll
hear all that because it's all in a bit that
I'm going to put in probably this episode. So
Knoblick is our new darling. Knoblick is a new
guy. He's a new guy in town. And we plan on keeping
him because Knoblick has a pretty fucking cool
name, doesn't he? Yes. Yes. Yes. And anyone's
wondering where all this came from? The blizzard
that happened around here, I was watching the
news. It was like Fox News Weather, Fox Weather
News or Channel, Weather Channel, Fox News Weather
Channel or AccuWeather. It wasn't the Weather
Channel, but it was one of them. And it had knob
lick, knob rub. I think Knob Rub was like maybe
in West Virginia or something. But they had all
these suggestive names in a row. Like I said,
Knoblick got nine and a half inches of snow.
And I'm like, that's funny. Then Knob Rub got
eight inches of snow. And I'm like, oh. And then
I forgot what the third one was. But every one
of them was like really suggestive. So somebody
working the scroller had a little fun. And I
don't think that anybody, like, really caught
it or anything, except for some idiot like me
that's just sitting there brain dead watching
the scroller. So, hey, I'm just sitting here
fucking rolling. With our mentality. Yes, yeah.
Well, I mean, you know, we've got 13 -year -old
boy humor here. And that's what I saw when I
seen it growing across the scroller. I'm like,
oh, there's a dick. You know, that stuff. Anyhow,
yeah. So, anyhow, that's where all this came
from. And another thing while we're talking about
YouTube and all that, yeah, we are working on
everything. Believe me. We are trying to get
this distributed to a bigger platform, a bigger
stage, if you will. So, another thing is I'm
going to be doing a new email that's going to
be more explanatory because I think... doucheb66
at yahoo .com. What it is right now is not very
self -explanatory. I think that I'm just going
to go full in and go, two douchebags and a microphone
at wherever .com. You see what I mean? Yeah,
it's a little bit longer to type out, but you
know, it's just like, hey, it's our name. Yeah,
yeah, and netzero .com, or I don't know, yahoo
.com, or Excite, or whatever. Mindspring .com.
That's what me and Topher used to do. We made
up emails, and we make them at MindSpring and
all these other things that I don't even think
they exist anymore. Do what? I'll give you two
thumbs up on that. Okay, cool. Yeah, yeah, so
I am working on that, and we will be coming out
with it. And also, real quick, I wanted to go
into this really quick, and then I've got some
food wars coming up, and I know you have some
stuff, and we have some emails, too. But I wanted
to, you know what, I'll go into it later. It's
all right. It's this new way of advertising.
We got a list to get through. Yeah, we do. We
got a list. So anyhow, we'll be right back here
in a couple minutes. Why, Whataburger, you say?
Well, because what a deep -fried crispy chicken
nugget just didn't have the right ring. Swimming
in toxic masculinity. and wiping their ass with
politically correct wash rags. Two douchebags
and a microphone invade your ear holes in three,
two, one. You watched the news. It looks grim.
Is an apocalypse inevitable? We suggest you download
all our podcasts beforehand and have multiple
mobile chargers. We have proposed apocalypse.
Learn your soils. You will need drinking and
bath water. You must build a reservoir. The key
to hold water in the ground are the clays you
have at its base. Research water purification
methods and wild game will attract to the water
as well. Strange, but true. In 2001, U .S. Navy
SEAL Mike Day was shot 27 times by militants
and was also pelted by shrapnel from the grenade.
He later woke up and promptly killed them all
with a loaded automatic rifle they left next
to his body. Hey there, fuckstick. You're just
in time for brand new feature news nobody gives
a shit about. There's a small island in the South
Pacific where people actually talk with eye movements.
Our constant pursuit for a real knee slapper.
It's strange insults from an alien. Real hilarity.
You remind me of a penny toothpaste and not worth
much just happened. You don't know what to do.
You don't know where to go. But we can tell you
what you can eat. Burdock is a plant that has
edible leaves, stalks, and roots. It is also
known for its medicinal properties and its ability
to stick to clothing. Some of the uses for foods
is in soups and stews, sauteed in a stir -fry,
pickled either for sushi or a snack. It is also
used in braised kempira, a Japanese side dish.
Hey, look. I think we found land. Oh my god,
I think we're safe. Oh no! It's the island of
horrible jokes. What do you call a well -balanced
horse? Stable. Origin of April Fools. Religious
holdouts in the 16th century refused to celebrate
the reestablished New Year's date on January
1st, preferent the end of the Holy Week in April,
making them April fools. The city here, my name
is Mark. Rob, you got anything you want to go
into before emails or you just want to get into
emails? Oh, you know I love hearing from our
fans. I know that's my favorite part. I know,
me too. I'll tell you, our fans need to do their
own podcast. They are brilliant. I mean, they
are funny as hell. They always get us. They're
great. So keep sending us in. Hey, the email
goes to the top. I think I finally wore out fucking
Dum Dum from Clarksville. So, Clint. So, anyhow.
Yeah, that was it. I was going to hide the Narcan
in Clarksville. He's probably freaking out right
now. Oh, shit. I need that stuff. So, anyhow.
Clint, if you're still listening, you're stupid.
I make fun of you every fucking show. That's
it. So, alright. Dudes. Number one, dudes, you
ever think about sending your material into a
large podcasting website? I know you're doing
well, but if you get a larger audience, you could
possibly get advertisers. Sanders and Weston.
Yeah, we've entertained that, but I mean, remember,
Rob, we had a couple of places that gave us an
offer, but they want to own your material is
the problem. Right, right, right. Yeah, I want
the freedom to do whatever we want to do. We
don't need someone coming in and going, you know
what, I don't like that. I don't like that fart
joke. We're going to go ahead and take it out
for you. Because if they own your material, then,
you know, where does it stop? They can do whatever
they want. And so far, maybe all we've had is
scams. I don't know. Well, actually, no, two
of them were like legitimate providers. A couple
other ones I'm not so sure about. But they want
to own our stuff. And that's just, no, I'm not
doing that. I'm not going to do a podcast that
someone else owns or you. Okay, I don't mind
doing advertisements and stuff like that. But
when it comes to being told what I need to talk
about, this and that, no. Well, and they may
not even do that. That's my creativity. You know,
and they may not even do that. But they can if
we sign over our stuff to them. They can. And
it may not even be on the table. They may like
us for what we are. But the fact is, is the fact
that they could do it is the reason we're not
going to go with them. It's got to be the right
offer or we're just going to keep building this
thing like we are. It's not like we're doing
horribly. It's just we're not making any money.
But so are 99 % of the other podcasts not making
a dime. Okay, and if we don't make a dime, I
don't think we really care, do you? No, because
honestly, you can go anywhere and listen to us.
Yeah, and another thing is this right here. You're
going to mention Audacity. Yeah, Audacy. Or Audacy.
Audacity is the software. Yeah, Audacy. Someone
put us on Audacy podcast, and I legitimately
did not even know they had a podcast section.
And also the KansasCityLive .net or whatever
that is. I'll have to look at it. But anyhow,
they put us in the entertainment section. Well,
I know how a lot of Kansas City, I guess so,
a lot of Kansas City got our name and, you know,
what we do and everything and why we have such
good numbers in Kansas City is because of stuff
like that, you know, like the Kansas City Live
website. Putting us on there. You know, someone's
like looking for something going on. They go,
hey, what's this? An entertainment, two douchebags,
microphone podcast. You know. So, anyhow, whoever
did all this may not have been the same person.
Maybe it was. Thank you. We really appreciate
that. Yeah, the Odyssey was just like a nice
little touch. You know, it sucks what they did
to Johnny. But I do appreciate whoever it is
that put us up there. Thank you. So, all right.
So, yeah, you know. Sanders and Weston. We're
working on it. It may never happen. It's got
to be the right deal. We're not going to turn
everything over. Is that Weston, Missouri? I
guess so. It's spelled like it. W -E -S -T -O
-N. I'm pretty sure that's Weston, Missouri.
I used to live around St. Joe. Okay, Weston's
beautiful. And that's where they have Testicle
Fest in May. Yeah, we've got to go. Yeah, I was
going to go there. There's also one in Bentonville,
too. I was going to go there, but I'm going to
be still on my cruise, I found out. So it's like
early May, and I'm still going to be on the boat.
So I can't go. I wanted to go. So, okay. Mark
and Rob, I really enjoyed Johnny Dare analysis.
I think you're spot on about him going to 101
to Fox. Tony and Olathe, I think this is a Tony
I know. Yeah. I think we are, too. I mean, time
will tell. I mean, we're not going to find out
this year, I'm pretty certain. Because, you know,
every place... I agree with you on that. There's
going to be a hush -hush policy. Yeah, I mean,
that's what... No competes, basically, are this
right here. They don't want them firing you and
then you coming back and kicking their ass two
days later. So they give you a severance package.
And with that severance package of them giving
you all this money is, you've got to stay off
the dial for a certain amount of time. So, you
know, I mean, Keatsman had to run his out. Now
he's like on KCMO AM or something. It's like
an hour show, but he still does his podcast.
But, you know, when they bought him out, when
he had the trouble with the Chiefs and everything,
when they bought him out, they said, here's your
money. You cannot do anything. We'll just let
you podcast, but you cannot do live radio for
I don't know how many years. And I don't know
if it's one year, five years, two years, whatever,
but I'm relatively sure they're going to do that
to Johnny because he will be an entity that they
have to fight, you know, especially if they stay
in the rock division. So, okay. All right. Next
one. Mark, RC Cola is a bomb. Who the fuck is
Meg? Prince boy in pine blood. Okay. Yeah. Meg
is someone that wrote in and said that RC Cola
was nasty. We all know who she is. But Meg is
obviously wrong. So Prince Boy, thank you. RC
Cola is the bomb. Appreciate it. Thank you. Yep.
Prince Boy. I don't know how you got that name.
It's interesting. Write me back and let me know.
So anyhow. All right. Probably. Yeah. Pine Bluff,
Arkansas. Yeah. Yep. Yeah. Okay. Douchebags,
I want to send you toenail clippers. Where do
you send it to? Willie and Montrose. Remember
I said I could use some toenail clippers? Yes.
Willie, thank you. I'm glad you're making a peace
offering now. This is Willie and Montrose. Wasn't
either one offering like the extension cord?
and all that at the campground? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He was going to hook us up when we went down
to go camping at our campsite. Yeah, yeah. Willie,
we're glad that you're not bent because we kind
of outcasted you. It's nothing personal. It's
just that you guys don't have a power plant anymore,
and we had to go elsewhere. We're sorry. And
I think even Willie in Montrose, you can admit
that Knoblick is the crown jewel of names, isn't
it? So, there you go. Alright, next one. It's
Montrose. Montrose was a pretty good band. Yeah,
you know what, Montrose? You were fantastic while
you were there. We appreciate it. We hope you
and Tightwad make up with each other. You guys
need to be brothers in arms. You don't need to
be fighting each other. Right? You think maybe
we can have a big bonfire? I agree with you,
but I don't know. I've heard... They're not fond
of each other. Maybe we could have a big bonfire
with some, I don't know, some natty light and
some bush light, and we could get, like, maybe
tightwad and montrose all around the fire, and
we could have a good time, right? That might
do it. Or it might end up in a fight, too. Yeah.
Yeah, either that or, yeah, county, if you should
call, then everything else. Yeah, you know what?
Maybe we shouldn't. You know what? Forget it.
All right, next one. Is Montreux still the jewel
of Henry County? Well, it sure the fuck isn't
Clinton. So, I'm going to say yeah, it is. That
or deep water. Is Yerrick in Henry? I think it
might. No, I think Yerrick's still in Cass County,
barely. Hang on. We're going to do some research
there. Yeah, I think I knew this once, but I
don't know it now. Well, we've still got to keep
doing Henry County, right? Yeah, yeah. It's not
their fault. Yeah. Hey, Clinton, no offense,
but, I mean, you guys do have the Golden Valley
Death Camp there. If you check in there, you
don't check out. It is definitely the... You
know what? No, no, no. I'm not going to dog them.
You know what? I mean, they're probably glad
they have a hospital there. So, anyhow. And all
this is tongue -in -cheek. I'm just kidding.
Allegedly. You know what? Yeah, do some research
and we'll get back with you. Okay. If Yerrick
is in Henry County, then I think we could safely
say Yerrick is it? Oh, yeah. Definitely. Because,
you know, every time we would drive by, my dad
would call it Urch. Urch. It did look like Urch,
didn't it? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If you want to sit
in a field and have it hail on, you go to Urich,
Missouri. Great place. Great place to do that.
All right. We're not naming it. We're not naming
it yet. No, no, no, no, no, no. We got to find
out. If it's still in Cass County, then they
are not eligible. All right, we'll figure this
out. I'll have that Sunday night. There you go.
You're going to have your URIC update Sunday
night. So it doesn't get better than that, does
it? Henry County update. Henry County update,
yeah. And you know what? Maybe we'll do some
Henry County news. Let's scour the Internet and
find some news and just, like, you know, do some
Henry County news. Does that sound good? Sound
like it? Yeah, you know what? That's something
we'll work on. Okay. Where was I? Okay, guys.
I really think the new douchebag pledge isn't
up to par. My thoughts. Jeremy and Joplin. I
disagree. He doesn't like it. I like it. I do,
too. I love the fact it comes out and goes, hey,
you fucking derelicts. Right off the bat, you
get punched in the face. I love it. The other
one's like, now it's time to stand and do the
douchebag pledge. This is just like, those are
a bunch of derelicts. Fucking do this. I don't
know. I'm kind of fond of it. I'm going to tweak
it a little bit, though. I'm going to give it
a little bit of noise and music or something.
I don't know. Maybe a crowd. I don't know. Something.
I'm going to do something to it to spice it up
a little bit. As far as the wording goes, I love
the wording. What do you think? Yeah, I would
not tweak anything on the wording. The only thing
I'd do different is the sound effects behind
it. Yeah, maybe a little bit. Yeah, jazz it up.
Yeah, jazz it up just a little bit, and I think
it's going to be great. So, anyhow, all right.
Could you guys maybe put up more pictures of
the studios of the Douchebags official Facebook
page? Yeah. Let me get my dash. Okay. I'm losing.
You know what? Maybe it will let me post. You
know what? I'm going to work on it, too. I think
I can get it to post for me because all I've
got to do is tag it. Okay. No, I've got a little
bit to do in here. Mine isn't quite finished,
either, but I do have some new effects. I've
got these laser lights. that dash all over the
wall. That's pretty cool. Oh, I've got LED lights
that run around the whole top, and I have a remote
control. I can change the colors. Oh, awesome.
That's what I've got going on here. Fucking awesome.
Cool. Yeah, like I was telling Anna, my good
friend that's getting ready to podcast, I said,
all this sets the mood for what we do. I get
in the studio here, the man cave or whatever
you want to call it, the podcast room, I get
a certain feeling from it, you know. A lot of
nostalgia, a lot of trickery, a lot of stuff
that I love. I surround it with stuff that I
consider interesting, and I think it makes us
more interesting. And you think the same thing,
don't you? Oh, I tell everybody. I'm heading
to the studio. All right. Everybody leaves me
alone. They know I'm in my zone. Yep. And it's
fun, too, because you know what I mean? You get
in here, and you get in the zone, and you get
all this energy that you're going to put towards
the podcast. It's a lot of fun. It really is.
I really enjoy it. I get a certain vibe and energy,
and I think it's awesome. It cuts me off from
the rest of the world. Bingo. Rob, you're right.
Shut the door. Yeah, I meant the ball. This is
our escape. This is our escape, our haven. This
is the Talk is Cheap studio, and his is the Duck
Blind studio. Duck Blind studio, yeah. Yep, so
anyhow, yeah, we will put more up. Give us time,
like everything. I mean, you know, we both have
lives, we both work, we both have other things
to do, you know. Yeah, I've been going through
a little bit lately. Yeah. You know. Yep. Yeah,
so. Yeah, it's just the way it is. This is a
project. This is a hobby, if you will. We want
it to be much more. We're trying to grow it as
much as we can, but it's a hobby, so just bear
with us. We're working on it, and thank you for
your interest, for real. Thank you for your interest.
All right, and finally, Mark and Rob, how about
the top seven entrance songs as you enter a room,
WWE style? Guess who sent this one in, Rob? You
already told me, and I got my list. Ronnie and
Tulsa, Tulsa King, and I got my list, too. Dude,
you know what? Of all the stuff Ronnie sent us,
that might be the best one ever. I changed mine
like four times, Rob. Four times. And I'm still
not sure if this is what I want. I had so many
right off the bat. Yeah, I got like three words
that I had narrowed down. And then just I had
it finalized last night. Yeah, and you might
even tell that after your list, too. Yeah, I
got to tell the ha -ha. Yeah, that was really
good. I told you before. Believe me, people will
appreciate it. I love it. Okay, so let me explain
this before Rob does his list here, okay? All
right, you know how WWE wrestlers come in and
they have a song, right? And they have that song
that brings them out there. They have one day.
Yeah. They have one day. Okay. Yeah. This is
you just walking into a room, and this is the
song you want every time you walk into a room.
He wants the top seven like always, and Rob,
go ahead. That's a pretty good one. Well, from
the very first note, it's just high energy. It
really is. And I can see somebody like the Ultimate
Warrior coming out with that song. Yeah, yep.
Somebody high energy. And, yeah. Yeah, yeah,
I agree. That's a good one. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yep,
yep, yep. And that was one of the best things
we did in the music creeps, too, was the what's
going to your head during a fist fight. What
song you want to hear in your head during a fist
fight. That's a good one. Especially in the middle
when they sound the ball like smashing in the
hand. Yeah. Just plant a bomb up everyone's ass.
They ain't gonna keep us alive. Yeah, go ahead.
Little Udo. Yeah, little pint -sized belter.
Yeah, yeah. Fucking killing. That's it, man.
Balls to the wall. That will do it. Yeah, I was
a fan of it at the time. Everyone knows that
he said, she said bullshit. You're going to be
leaving with a fat lip. Yeah, that's it. That'd
be a great entrance song. It would be. Okay,
number three. Burn It Down by Linkin Park. That's
a good one. Lincoln Park is a very underrated
band, too. Yes, they are. Or were. No, I think
they're still a band. They've got a different
lead singer, I think. But, anyhow. Oh, I'm listening
to their stuff all the time. Oh, yeah, yeah.
I was just wondering if they're still going.
I think they've got a different lead singer,
right? And that's it, and they kept going? Yeah,
it's a female. That's what I thought, yeah. Yeah,
I know. Yeah, they're pretty good. I hear them
all the time on iHeart. Okay. I hear them all
the time on the radio, too. Cool. What station?
Okay. Oh, 935 The Rock. Is that for... 935 Rock.
Oh, is that the station around there? Osage Beach.
Osage Beach, okay. Osage Beach, yeah. Okay, cool.
Not real familiar. That's the state of the state
of my head. Oh, yeah, yeah, okay. That's a good
one. I like that one. Yeah, I mean, like I said,
I spent the last two hours at the work listening
to these top three. Ronnie. Oh, yeah, back at
you, Ronnie. Back at you. Yeah. Another solid,
solid one. That was a good list, Rob. You put
a lot of thought into it. Yeah. Dude, I've watched
wrestling all my life, so it fits in. Entering
songs. Like I said, I have probably two more
lists I could do. When he set this list in, I
just got a big smile. I'm just like, this is
gold. Okay. He knows us. He knows us. He's one
of us. I cannot wait until he has time to call
in. I've got to hear. I've just got to hear his
voice. Yes. This one. Yep. And I'm pretty sure
he's going to be very hilarious judging by his
emails. All right. My number seven has got to
be Stranglehold by Sweaty Teddy. I mean, remember
Curry Von Erich used to come out to that. He'd
be fucking flexing his tip muscles and fucking
jabbing at the air and stuff, his long, flowing,
fucking curly blonde hair, ready to fucking take
shit on, ready to kill, ready to kick some ass,
right? He's fucking hopping around there with
his lace fucking boots, with the fringe boots,
fucking hopping around. It's a fucking great
song. And it's a driving song. It's like a hypnotic
song. Yeah, it is. It is. Yeah, so I had to go
there. I didn't put it really all the way up
there because it has been used and it has been
used for that. But I had to recycle it. All right.
Number six. And this is solely because of the
riff at the very first of it. Too Fast for Love
by Motley Crue. I think hearing that riff when
you're coming out super loud, jabbing in the
air, you're ready to kill anybody. You're like,
come on, bitch. This song is me. And I'm going
to destroy you. And you hearing this song, you
automatically know I'm going to destroy you because
of the song I picked. Right? Yeah. This is one
where, like, you fucking get them on the ground
and you start chewing their face off. And then
you piss on them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Number five,
I took the psychedelic edge. And this is just
the one, the mind -fucking. And this would be
All Along the Watchtower by Jimi Hendrix, not
Bob Dylan. The Jimi Hendrix version. And that
would just be a mindfuck. You come out there
and just kind of like, oh yeah, that's right.
I'm loose and I'm fucking tender and I'm ready
to go. That's right. Fucking listen to Jimi.
Ready to kick some ass. Yeah, look at that. So
anyhow. All right. Number four is another power
one. This one I come out and fucking flex my
tip muscles and kick it in the air and go, come
on, bitch. Over the mountain. by, of course,
Ozzy fucking Osbourne. Okay. Okay. Yeah, that's
a good one. Number two, or no, number three,
and just because, this is another mind fuck,
and it's because it is such a weird rhythm and
a weird bass and guitar start off, is Space Truckin'
by Deep Purple. Because it kind of builds up.
It's a slow build, and it's kind of like a psychedelic,
and it's kind of hard rock, and it's kind of
weird. Yeah. And it's going dun -dun, dun -dun
-dun -dun -a, and then that's when you're fucking
coming down the aisle. Yeah. Yes. That's exactly
what I'm looking for. Yeah. Yep. Number two.
is when I look around and I see a certain type
of fans there. And, you know, they look like
they all just got done fucking smoking a doobie
out in the parking lot. Some of them have wooden
legs. Some of them have eye patches. None of
them shaved. Snowbind. Snowblind by Black Sabbath.
I think that that would be... It's a great riff.
It's a really heavy riff. And it's got to be
the right audience, though. And number one, and
this is when I'm going for the world title. This
is only for the world title only. And this is
a song that just makes me fucking swing at air,
just ready to kill. And that's Intruder by Van
Halen. That thing right there. Intruder. Think
of that bass and the drums. Just leading into
the crazy, crazy guitar. Just the mind -boggling,
weird shit that A -Van handled. All that power
and all the bending and all the weird shit that
he did so masterfully. People would run off.
They'd be like, this guy's insane. I'm not fighting
him. Forget it. Nuh -uh. Off. Deal's off. Here's
your check back. So, that is my number one. And
I think we both did very well. What do you think?
Yes please do. I enjoyed that a lot. Uh -huh.
Yeah, he was in every... Yeah, it was really
brilliant what he did. Yes, he was there as the
tomato, the tomato can. I love that. I actually
went back and listened. Dude, that'd be awesome.
Do you really want to hurt me? Yeah, I do. Anytime
me and my friends would hear that song in public,
we would yell out, yes, we do. Yes, that's what
we do here. All right, let's go to our second
break. I'm sure you got a story. And I have some
food wars, too, if we get into them. So, anyhow,
we will be right back. Hey, fellas, remember
to wipe away from the twins. Stay fresh ideas
from the douchebags. Hey there, fuckstick. You're
just in time for brand new feature news nobody
gives a shit about. Punxsutawney fills. Babies
are named Shadow and Sunny. Introducing Rob Rad's
new book, How to Track Your Enemy by Scent. That's
right, smell your enemy before they get you.
Order this gem now and get a free virtual tour
of Rob's secret bunker in Camderton, Missouri.
Also receive a free copy of his new book, How
to Clean Raw Sewage for Food. Your mama's so
fat. When she was floating in the ocean, Spain
claimed her as their new territory. Two douchebags
and a microphone, says. You ever dream about
eating chocolate pudding and wake up with a spoon
in your ass? Just asking. Hey, look. I think
we found land. Oh my God, I think we're safe.
Oh no. It's an island of horrible jokes. Why
do? Golfers take an extra pair of socks with
them when they golf. In case they get a hole
in one. Now it's time for pickup lines from a
loser. You're pretty and I'm cute. Together we
could be pretty cute. All those who believe in
psychokinesis, raise my hand. That needs to happen.
This is Two Douchebags and Microphone. We're
operating here in the middle of America. This
is the Kansas City side of it, and my name is
Mark. That's right. And together we are two douchebags
in microphone, and you are our listener, I think.
All right. Which we call assholes. Yes, yeah.
So at the end of each show, if we say goodnight
assholes, it's endearingly. It's not a flip -off.
It's just like at the end of every Sports Bastards,
I tell everyone to go fuck themselves. That's
endearingly. It's nothing mean. It's just like
we love you. Rob, you got something you want
to go into? Oh, hang on real quick. We owe Benny
from Rosedale pencil shavings. He caught Carmine
Ragusa. It is from Laverne and Shirley, the big
ragu. Benny, I will deliver them to you personally,
okay? Because I know they'll get there. If we
send them USPS, they may not arrive, okay? So
I'll meet you somewhere. So it really did happen
so that blah, blah, blah lady did it instead
of Carmine Ragusa. Good job. Good job. After
we had that podcast up, it took virtually about
an hour. And Benny already... He must have downloaded
the show right after and listened to it and got
you. So I will deliver you the pencil shavings.
I'm going to start dodging them. Yeah. I'm going
to, I'll meet him at Rosedale BBQ or something
and give him his pencil shavings. Haven't been
there in a long time. Anyhow, Rob, go ahead.
Sorry. Sounds good. Fighting in the NHL game,
as we all know, is not a rare thing. Which those
don't know who NHL is at odds. Mm -hmm. Players
over the years have often thrown down their gloves
to show their differences with their fists. But
something happened during a fight on Monday night.
Toronto Maple Leafs Utah Hockey Club game that
probably has never been seen before. A Superman
punch was thrown. Okay. Do you know what Superman
punch is? I think I do, but go ahead, explain
it. Simon Benoit jumped in the air and threw
said Superman punch at Utah's Michael Kesslery.
Okay, do you know Roman Reigns from the WWE?
Yeah, yeah, oh yeah. He's known for jumping up
the air and coming down with that punch. You
know why they call it the Superman punch, don't
you? Because Superman punches in the air. Well,
this happened at a hockey game. If you're going
to throw a Superman punch, you then can't immediately
lose the fight. It reminds me of Robin Ventura
against Old Man Nolan Ryan. Remember that fiasco?
Yes. Old Man Nolan Ryan fucking beat his ass,
that young buck. Beat the shit out of him. So,
there you go. Superman Punch did not do him well.
Both players served their five -minute major
penalties and then returned to the ice like nothing
had happened. They're hockey players. That's
what they do. I ran across that one. And with
that entrance music, it'd be a good story. That
was a good story, Rob. I'm going to have to look
that up now. And also, the Superman punch, if
no one's familiar with it, now you are. It's
a really cool term. Because on every comic, whenever
Superman punches, his feet are in the air. He's
never on the ground punching. So he flies up
a little bit to get added strength. All right.
Remember we used to do Flu Wars? Yeah, I do,
too. Well, we're bringing them back, okay? Food
wars happen like this. I was in a Costco one
day, and I'm walking through the produce aisle,
and I'm sitting there looking at vegetables and
the fruits, and I'm thinking, what would happen
if that pear jumped out of the box and started
kicking the shit out of that orange? Who would
win? Don't ask me why. It's the way I work. Rob,
do you work like that, too? That'd be something
you'd think, too, right? Yeah, it's just something
for a guy to ponder while he's sitting there
looking for some apples. Okay, so that's where
this came from. So Rob and I decided we're going
to start pitting food against each other. So
this is the latest installment of Food Wars.
So the first on the docket, Rob, is lasagna versus
chicken parmesan. That's a tough one. I'm leaning
towards the chicken parmesan. Really? Lasagna.
Okay, go ahead. Oh, it's going to burn. Yeah,
that's true. See, I was thinking chicken parm
was deep fried or fried in a skillet. So I was
thinking it was going to be a tougher exterior
and that the lasagna couldn't penetrate it. But
actually, you're right. With all the spices and
the acidy tomato sauce, it would eat away that
crust. And then the chicken inside is soft, so
it would kill it. You're right. All right. Lasagna
is the proclaimed winner of that versus chicken
parmesan. This next one, I think I know who's
going to win, but this is a tough one, too. How
about beef ravioli versus fully loaded nachos?
Fully loaded nachos. Yes. Yeah, I think so, too.
If nothing else, the weight. Because fully loaded
has beef, it has cheese, it has olives, it has
peppers, it has... all this stuff on it, and
I think the weight alone, it would just, it would
go over there and just smash the ravioli into
nothing. So, even if it's fried ravioli, I still
think it would do it. So, is that a yes? Yeah,
I give it the nachos. Okay, we hereby proclaim
fully loaded nachos the winner of that bout.
Alright, the next one is a chicken soft taco.
versus a bean burrito. Hmm. Bean burrito could
be kind of bad because of... Bean burrito. Bean
burrito. Yeah. Because it's heavier, and it's
also in the shape of like a small little baseball
bat, too. That's where I was going, like a little
baseball bat. Yeah, and it would just start beating
the shit out of the soft taco, and the soft taco
would just like, just get minced. Yeah, soft
taco. No, the soft taco will be sitting there
crying, begging for it to stop. Yeah, yeah. A
bean burrito is mean anyhow. You've got to watch
them. Oh, yeah, boy. Oh, yeah. I mean, you don't
turn your back on one of them. A bean burrito
will smack the shit out of you when you turn
around. So, yeah. Actually, afterwards. Oh, yeah,
yeah. Oh, boy, they really smack you good there.
So, we hereby proclaim a bean burrito the winner
over the chicken soft taco. Unanimous decision.
This next one's kind of tough because it's both
basically garnishes or sauces or whatever. Cilantro
versus Pico de Gallo. I know. Well, the ironic
thing is cilantro is part of Pico de Gallo, but
cilantro alone is more concentrated. But Pico
de Gallo, I think because of the acidity in the
tomatoes and just the... Yeah, I would have to
give it to Pico. Yeah, I think Pico would win.
Because I think if nothing else, Pico could jump
on top of it and smother it. What do you think?
Yeah. Yeah, and also, I mean... You don't think
the cilantro could talk to the cilantro and the
pico and get it to switch sides, do you? It's
like, hey, we're the same thing. It still wouldn't
matter. Okay, you know what? It still wouldn't
matter. Pico is still heavier. Cilantro is light.
So it doesn't matter if all the cilantro went
to one side. Pico would still win. All right,
so we proclaim Pico de Gallo the winner by unanimous
decision over cilantro. All right, this next
one is cabbage versus a chef's salad. Now, cabbage
is pretty tough, but chef's salad is the weight
of it. And chef's salad, what, usually has like
ham and turkey on it, right? Yeah. And cheese.
It's pretty heavy. I think we're going to have
to give it to the head, right? Because, I mean,
if you walk through a produce aisle, right, you
don't see cabbage cut up. Okay, okay. Then cabbage
is going to win. I've got to give it to cabbage,
then. Me too, because it's in the head. It's
like a bowling ball, and it will smash the chef's
salad. Yep, you're right. Good call, Rob. Good
call. Yeah, cabbage head. Yep. Bumped up a lot
of shit, to be honest. Yeah, it will. This next
one, I think, is pretty easy, but I don't know.
Think about it a little bit. So we proclaim cabbage
winner unanimous over chef's salad. So cabbage
will go on to the next round. Cadbury Easter
Bunny versus a cinnamon roll. Is a Cadbury bunny,
is it solid or is it hollow? If they're hollow,
I think the cinnamon roll. I think Cadbury is
fine. I think they might be solid. Then Cadbury
would win. The Easter Bunny would win if they're
solid. They would smash a cinnamon roll. Now,
if they're hollow, but I think you're right.
Cadbury. Okay. You going to look it up? Yes.
Okay. That's what makes this segment so cool.
Well, Rob is looking that up. I'm going to tell
you what. What now? Oh. Well, we may have to
move off of that. Okay. You know what? That is
going to be determined in the future. We're going
to do our research, and we're going to come back
with a winner. And you guys got the premium service
there. I was giving you the goat noises. And
that feed, the goat and the duck noises are $9
.99 a month. And we gave you some premium feed
while Rob was looking that up. All right, next
one. Teriyaki chicken versus general sow chicken.
Now, teriyaki chicken is like full of the teriyaki
sauce and has vegetables in it and peppers. Yeah,
General is like crunchy and it's spicy. Yeah,
I think General's sour. It's got sweet, but it's
got that spicy. That spice, that zing. It's gonna
whip its ass. Yeah, I think it would beat the
shit out of teriyaki chicken. And then when it's
like standing over it, it would like give it
like the spit where it spits and it like sucks
it back in. And it keeps doing that. And then
finally just spits on it and leaves. Right? Next
one, Reuben versus a club sandwich. Now, Reuben
has sauerkraut and Thousand Island dressing and
pastrami, right? Pastrami is pretty spicy. Yeah,
Reuben will win. And also, a Reuben is toasted,
too. Well, I don't know about club sandwiches.
I think a club sandwich is, too. But a Reuben's
also on that rye bread, which is really thick
and kind of a spicy bread. So be it, Reuben.
So, okay. Yeah, that's right. Yep. All right.
So Ruben is the unanimous winner over the club
sandwich. Mr. Ruben, you get to go on to the
next round. And then finally, chicken tenders
versus pizza rolls. I think I'm going to go with
pizza rolls because they're crispy and they have
a little spicy sauce in them. Chicken tenders
are... Just kind of like chicken tenders. I think
once a pizza roll jumps on it, it's going to
smash it. Yeah, because they're not even real
chicken. Yeah, yeah. They're just like chicken
assholes and beaks ground up with some breading.
So, all right. It is unanimous. The pizza rolls
win. So, all right. Rob, you got something? He's
made history by securing the Guinness Book of
World Records for the hairiest face on a man.
Solid. An 18 -year -old. Solid. Give me credit
for trying here. Okay. Larry Adidar has nearly
202 hairs per square centimeter. on his face
due to a rare condition. Wow. Hypertrichosis.
I've actually heard of that. Or werewolf syndrome.
Uh -huh. Wow. Does it have a picture of him?
It is funky looking. Yes, it does. Yeah, it looks
like a dog. Yeah. Yeah, they used to be like
in the traveling circuses as Wolfman. Okay. Despite
facing stares from classmates as a child, the
teenager from the central Medea, Redash state
of those Guinness Book of World Records, he embraces
his uniqueness and now shares glimpses of his
daily life on his YouTube channel. Wow. Wow.
title, he said, I am speechless. I don't know
what to say because I am very happy and get this
recognition. $900 has 265 ,000 followers on Instagram
and 108 ,000 on YouTube. He's making the most
of it, isn't he? I'm going to send this to you
right now. Okay, thank you. I'll take a look
at it. I got a little story here I'd like to
go into if you're done. Yeah, that's it. Okay.
Americans have a new trend. It's having people
sit in line for you. Yep. And often it is as
high as $50 an hour, if not a little bit more.
The service is available through companies' online
marketplaces. One of the companies is called
Same Old Line Dudes. This company has people
for hire to stand in line for concerts, sample
sales, and the Macy's Day Parade. So you can
hire someone to, you don't want to sit in line,
and then they come over there and they're like,
here you go, and then they leave. And then you're
like, they're in line, they wait in line for
four hours to get the tickets or whatever. You
pay that guy $50 an hour. He stands in line for
you. Then he calls you and goes, hey, man, I'm
almost to the end here. You better get over here.
Then he gets over there, and then he leaves,
and you stand in line for him or vice versa.
Robert Samuel, another online standing company,
says they are always booked solid. Online marketplaces
are the best way to get them. There's a website
called TaskRabbit. You can find a line stander.
A placer is another that can fetch you a line
person as well. Line sitters usually have a flat
rate but can ask more for inclement weather.
So if it's like snowing or storming or some shit,
hailing, they get a little bit more money, of
course, because they're out there in the inclement
weather while you are somewhere staying dry and
warm. So it's generally like $40, $50 an hour
unless there's bad weather and then the rate
gets hiked. But the thing is, is they're book
solid all the time. People buy this service all
the time. And it started with Disney, I believe.
People didn't want to wait in line at Disney,
so they hired somebody to do it for them. And
it's companies that are around the Disney area
there. And they're like line sitters and stuff
like that. And people go there and go, yeah,
we need four people sitting in line for us to
go to Disney. And then they like call you on
your cell or something and go, hey, get down
here. We're five away. Interesting stuff, isn't
it? Entrepreneurs are everywhere, Rob. Oh, definitely.
Yeah. I mean, isn't that a great plan, though?
I mean, look, people are willing to pay for it.
You don't need any skills. You don't need anything
except yourself and a way to get there. I mean,
you talk about making a startup company out of
nothing. You need nothing to start up a company
like this. Maybe a little bit of gas money. Brilliant.
And they're all booked solid. Hell yeah. I mean,
who wouldn't? I mean, you know, if they paid
me fucking 50 bucks an hour to do it and it was
on my day off, I'd consider it. I probably wouldn't
because I like my time too much to myself. But,
I mean, I would definitely consider it. I mean,
that's fucking easy money, right? 50 bucks an
hour? 50 bucks an hour. That's around full time?
Yep, there you go. Wow, yeah. You could probably
do this, Rob. You probably have to move. You
probably have to move to a larger urban area,
but you could do this if you wanted to. You can
sign up online even as a line sitter. And they
find the work for you. I don't know how much
they take from you for that. Like, let's say
if you get 50 bucks an hour, maybe they take
like three or so. I don't know what the logistics
of that is. Yeah, that's true. Or you could probably
do it yourself. So, anyhow. All right, Rob, you
got anything? We're at 9 .22 p .m. right now.
Are you ready to shut this shit show down, or
you got anything else? No, actually, I got another
one. All right. I got another one. All right,
Rob. For many, a trip to McDonald's wasn't complete
without catching a glimpse of an iconic red -haired
Ronald McDonald statue. Mm -hmm. Often stationed
near the entrance to greet customers. If you're
particularly fortunate, a real -life Ronald might
even make an appearance at your birthday party.
However, this once cherished figure has largely
vanished from both McDonald's stores and marketing
materials. And the reason behind it is quite
unsettling. I had noticed that too, and I didn't
know it. The fast food giant began phasing out
the red -haired clown in 2016, largely due to
a disturbing social media trend. At the time,
individuals with known sinister clown attire
made photos and showed them online. The phenomenon
even led to groups of... and clown masks showing
up at schools across the U .S. Sorry about the
noise there, but I dropped something. Wow. Oh,
you're fine. One incident in Florida involved
a family being attacked by a group of 20 individuals
wearing clown masks. The resurgence of horror
movies like It, Clown, As a result, McDonald's
made the decision to retire Ronald due to the
shifting public perception of clowns. In a statement
released at the time, it got explained, McDonald's
and franchises in the local markets are mindful
of the current climate around clown sightings
in communities. beauty events for the time being
wow um uh this news follows oh oh yeah this news
follows the passing of willard scott the original
ronald I hadn't a clue either. I had no idea.
Wow. Pretty cool. Yeah, that's why they've done
the wrong way with Ronald McDonald. It's because
of the fear of clowns. Yeah, and then also all
the Stephen King movies and stuff like that didn't
help either. I mean, there have been a lot of
killer clown movies. Okay, that makes sense.
It really, really does. I didn't know about the
social media trend, though. That's crazy. Well,
yeah, I mean, you know, people going on about
clowns and stuff. Yeah. Wow. It was all over.
It was on Facebook, everywhere. Okay. Well, that's
how much I know. I had no idea, so. All right.
Well, it's 926. You need to shut this shit down,
or what? Alrighty, my friend. Thank you again
for joining us. And everybody, thank you for
listening. Have a good night, assholes. Good
night, assholes. Oh, no. Looks like the show's
over, kids. Mark has explosive diarrhea and can't
afford a wireless mic. Fear not, assholes. They'll
be back invading your ear holes soon.