And now it's time for...
The Daily Deucebag Pledge
Here at Two Deucebags in a Microphone, we don't stand behind our journalistic integrity.
Go ahead and assume we got the story wrong. At least we admit it.
Not like all those other guys, we can and will lie if it makes the story better.
Two Deucebags and a Microphone
We Talk
Is a
Strange, but true
Born in 1888, Grace McDaniels, later known as the milk-faced woman, appeared physically typical at birth. However, as she grew older, her face became severely disfigured due to Sturge-Weber syndrome.
She eventually became a performer with Harry Lowenstein's Traveling Circus, earning $100 Zemiplot per week.
Oh man, what the fuck is this? Is this a new feature?
What's inside Mark's head? Sounds stupid to me.
Why do people say tuna fish sandwich when nobody says chicken bird sandwich?
Hey everybody, this is Uncle Rob. I'm going to give you some tips for life.
This is Uncle Rob's Rules to Dick Picks.
Rule number one, title of a kick is someone else's name. So if you get busted, it's not yours.
Rule number two, shoot angles complementary to your length and girth.
Rule number four, no propping of the way. Absolutely no undercarriage. Very important.
You douchebags and a microphone. My name is Mark.
And my name is Rob.
I am calling Rob and having him on Bluetooth so you can hear this fine gentleman from Kansas City, Missouri.
And Rob, where are you and why am I calling you?
Hampton, Missouri. And you were supposed to give me a call this morning drinking your cabana or whatever, cannoli.
I did not even get a phone call.
I'll get to that here in a minute. But I did not call you because you said you were not going to answer so I didn't waste the time.
No, I wouldn't have answered anyway. I still got to give you shit.
Well, you know what? Next time I will call you. I'll make sure it's 8 o'clock instead of 9.
No, you'll be up anyhow. You'll be up anyhow.
Yeah, yeah. I was up at 6.30 this morning for no reason.
Yeah. Yep. I like the picture you posted. That snow melted pretty damn quick, didn't it?
Oh, yes it did. Six hours.
Wow, six hours. Yeah, you had like what, five inches of snow on the ground, the first picture.
And then the second picture, there wasn't anything on the ground. It melted quick.
How warm did it get there today?
It was in the 50s.
Okay. Wow, it is a little bit warmer up here. It was in the 60s. Oh, our snow's gone too.
But I saw in the extended forecast that in a couple of weeks there would be more snow.
So we'll see though. I mean, you know, that's a couple of weeks away. Anything can change.
So anyhow, I went to the city market this morning like I threatened to do.
It was very busy there, so there wasn't a seat available.
So I go and I get my cabano and I'm looking around. All of a sudden the seat opens up right in front of me.
And this is where we usually do our podcast from, The Magic Seat, right?
And it's the best people watching seat in the whole place because people around the corner and they figure out what to do.
So they stand there and they talk and there you are perched in the corner listening and you hear some funny shit.
So all of a sudden that seat opened up, right? So I'm like, oh hell yeah.
I run over there. Then I was like, oh shit, I did not get my cannolis first.
And I couldn't leave the seat. If you leave the seat, someone will take it.
So I had to do without my cannolis. I could not dip them in my cabano.
So I had my cabano and I just I scrapped the cannolis all together because I felt bad, Rob.
Yeah, you feel bad for me? Yeah, I do. Okay.
Okay. So anyhow, I still got to go and it was still great. It was fun.
And the weather was perfect. And there are a lot of people out there, a lot of people enjoying themselves.
And they even had some crafts there and they had this this big trailer that they have candles and incense and all this stuff.
It was really cool. I didn't go over there because I didn't feel like spending any time there, you know, but it was really neat.
I'll have to take a picture of the setup. But anyhow, it looked like they're doing a few changes and kind of perking things up a little bit, which they need to do.
So anyhow, Rob, I noticed a new trend for us. People are tired of Montrose.
They're tired of Montrose, the jewel of Henry County, and they want us to maybe adopt another town for the pledge.
Well, we are adopting another town. We mentioned that a couple of times yesterday.
Yes. Just because of that.
Okay, I've got an email about this that I'm going to read later, but I have received multiple messages for us to adopt Knob Lick.
Knob Notster. Yes, that's the one we were talking about.
The other two is Knob Notster and Shell Knob as our town that's going to be mentioned on the Daily Douchebag.
But I think Knob Lick is the clear winner. What do you think?
I like Knob Knob Lick because of the name, but I like Knob Notster. I actually know people that are, you know, it is home of one of the favorite Air Force bases.
The stealth bomber, what? Air Force base and home of the stealth.
But since we are two douchebags, my vote goes to Knob Lick.
Me too. Me too. Look, Knob Notster. Look, we don't want to make fun of Knob Notster's home of Whiteman Air Force base.
No, no. Knob Notster is our number two.
So anyhow, Rob, are you still doing an investigation into Knob Lick to find out what's there?
Oh, I have not had time. I had a busy week, brother. I actually worked yesterday too.
Oh, shit. Okay.
I've had one day off.
Okay. No, no, no. You do it on your own time. I was just asking.
You know, I'm firmly for Knob Lick, but Shell Knob has Table Rock Lake, Knob Notster has the stealth bomber.
So, but Knob Lick, we got to do a little invest and I'm sure there's like a bar and a junkyard or something there.
Maybe even a slaughterhouse. Did you know that Montrose had a slaughterhouse?
Well, a meat processor. Oh, okay. Yeah, we used it a few years back.
Wait a second. Wait a second. Okay. It's three hours and 13 minutes for me.
Knob Lick?
Yeah. It's an uncorporated community in Missouri. This is tiny, dude. It's uncorporated.
Somebody on that weather channel is having fun.
It's south of Farmington and north of Fredericktown.
I know where that's at.
On 57 Highway.
Okay, Farmington.
Okay.
Okay, I know about where it's at. Cool.
Okay, that proves my point.
Fucking Knob Lick and I forgot the other two towns that they put in concession.
If that's an unincorporated town, somebody did that on purpose behind the scenes for a little ha-ha and I caught it.
It was three very suggestive names of three towns.
Anyhow, Knob Rub, I think.
The population in 2020 was 147.
Yeah, someone at that weather channel was having fun.
The total square area is 0.99 square mile.
It's not even one square mile.
No.
Almost.
Okay.
I think Knob Lick wins.
I think so, too.
I think that is our new mattress.
I'm going to look that up on the internet.
I'm sure somebody captured that.
Someone had to have captured that on whatever weather channel it was because I'm going to find that and I'm going to post it.
Because they had three of them in a row.
One was Knob Lick and one was like Knob Rub or something.
And then there's one in West Virginia.
I think West Virginia was Knob Rub.
And then they had another one that was really suggestive and it's all three in a row.
So they had to have done that on purpose because if that's an unincorporated town, how did that weather channel get their name?
You know what I mean?
They had to intentionally searched for names like that.
And someone behind the scenes did a ha-ha and I don't think anyone else noticed because it was on the internet.
They all started with Knob.
Yeah, yes.
All their names are Knob.
And they're all on the bottom.
All on the bottom, the stroller.
So it wasn't the lady actually saying Knob Lick, Missouri.
It was on the stroller and people that caught it caught it.
I'm going to look that up.
I'm sure someone has that captured.
So I'll look that up.
So Montrose, they had a slaughterhouse, too.
And we forgot to, it doesn't matter.
They're on their way out.
We're sorry, Montrose.
But they had a slaughterhouse, too, because we bought a cow a few years ago with a friend.
And we each had our portion butchered there.
So and, you know, processed and they sliced up our cow pretty good.
But that was pre-COVID.
They may not even be there now.
You know, COVID killed so many of those small businesses, especially out in, you know, out of ways a little bit.
But anyhow, we forgot to include them into Montrose.
But you know what?
It doesn't matter now.
So it looks like it's going to be Knoblick, isn't it?
Yeah, Knoblick.
All right.
Also, Rob, you know what?
We've been getting a lot of feedback on the Uncle Rob's life tips.
It's really hitting big, dude.
Well, we're going to do some more.
Yes.
I'm telling you, people love it.
There is a petition going around.
Okay. Well, first, thanks, everybody that bothered to let me know about Uncle Rob's tips for life.
I'm glad you love it.
We thought it was good, too, when we came up with it.
So we've got more in.
We've got more waiting to do.
We just need the time to do it.
So we'll figure it out.
We'll get it done here pretty soon.
And for the life of us, neither one of us have an idea of what happened to number three.
It just disappeared.
No, I still have it written down.
I know what number three is supposed to be.
So it will be in there.
And we recorded it.
It just disappeared.
I have no...
Well, it had to have been a blip, you know, in that recorded piece.
Yeah, it had to have been.
Because we have blips on this thing all the time.
So, yeah.
So it just got blipped out for whatever reason.
So we'll do it again.
So anyhow, thanks, everybody, for letting me know that they like it.
And the people that kept telling us there's no number three, we know.
We know.
We're getting to it.
And Rob, you started another thing.
There's a petition going around the Internet of people that want Netflix to cover the Ozzy Farewell Tour in...
Well, not tour, concert in Birmingham, England.
I told you.
You're right.
It only makes sense.
It would make them more money.
And it would give us fans a chance to...
Enjoy it, too.
Yeah, and I would love to see what he does, what he looks like.
Yes.
And also...
I don't care if he's just sitting in a chair on the side watching.
He will be.
He will be for a while.
As long as he is on the stage.
That's all he wants.
Yes.
And so...
Anyhow, it looks like you mentioned it first, and now it's gathered in steam.
So I'm going to blame you, Rob.
You started it.
So thank you, Rob.
Maybe I'll get my way there.
It looks like you're going to because you can look it up.
Anybody can look it up.
I mean, it's really gained a lot of steam.
And everybody's picking Netflix because I think everybody has Netflix.
Not everybody has Paramount.
Not everybody has Disney.
You know what I mean?
I think Netflix is like the universal thing that everybody has.
So I think that's why they picked Netflix to go after.
So I hope Netflix listens.
It's gaining a lot of steam, so we'll see.
I think that's why WWE went to Netflix because it's so common.
It is probably the most viable, popular option that you can do.
Anyhow, we're going to report this on the sports bastards.
Okay.
All of the NFL, and they're getting a paddling over this.
They're in the Ass Paddling Hall of Fame, but they're getting another one.
We're pulling them out for this.
Next year, they're not going to be able to get NFL on any regular TV.
It's going to have to be through all of their entities' apps.
So like if it's Netflix, which is an app, you've got to go through there.
CBS is having it.
It's got to be through the CBS app.
It's got to be through every...
Any Paramount.
Yes, Paramount, all that.
So there you go.
It's all pay per play now.
And you know what?
You're fucked.
Home markets, they don't care.
So anyhow, the NFL is grabbing a whole pile of cash, and they're getting an ass paddling over it.
And I'm not subscribing to it, man.
You know what?
I'll find one of those YouTube videos where they play it in the mirror, and I'll watch the game like that.
But I refuse, unless I already have the service, I refuse to pay the NFL another fucking cent.
Because there's a lot of people, especially the elderly, that love football that are not going to be able to watch it now because of greed.
So anyhow.
Okay, so speaking of greed, I have a big complaint about McDonald's and their AI order taker.
Number one, their screens broke at the location that I go to on my way to work.
So I can't check to see if they got my order correct, right?
And number two, when I order, number four, it means I want the two breakfast burritos, hash browns, and a coffee.
Not one burrito, no hash brown and a drink.
The bullshit AI can't figure out that I'm ordering a complete meal and not one burrito and one coffee.
It's really pissing me off because every time I go to number four and then she goes, this is AI doing this.
Would this be a burrito?
And I go, yeah.
And a drink? Yeah.
I didn't think I had to say the number four, the two burritos, the hash brown and a drink.
You never had to do that before when there's somebody live.
So I'm thinking in my opinion, it's a little bit more sinister than that.
This is my opinion.
I'm thinking they want you to download their app and then you know your order is correct because you ordered ahead of time.
They have it ready for you.
You say, okay, I'm going to be there at 740.
You go through at 740.
Hey, I'm Mark.
It said to give you 347.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here it is.
I refuse to download the app.
You know what?
I'm not going to get constant spam over book.
Buy one, get one free, big max 24 seven or nothing like that.
So you know what?
I just won't go there.
I mean, there's a lot of stuff like that.
A bell is pissing me off.
McDonald's on this certain case is pissing me off.
I don't have to go there and I'm going to just start.
Yeah, I'm going to go with my wallet, man.
It pisses me off.
I mean, like I said, maybe I'm wrong on this, but how come you order a number four?
And it says on the screen.
Well, the screen's broke.
But I know from all the other McDonald's, a number four means the complete meal.
If I wanted a breakfast burrito and a drink, I would say, yeah, I'll take a breakfast burrito and a drink.
I wouldn't say a number four.
So, you know, yeah, it's pissing me off.
And, you know, so speaking of spam and sale, I use this service online to try to locate the top insurance rates for for the new Jeep.
Right.
I had no idea that the bastard website was going to give all the insurance salespeople my information.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, oh, it pissed me off because it said in the writing there, it's kind of tricky.
I went back and read it.
It acts like it figures it out for you and throws you the rates.
But in the fine print there, it says that we can give people your information so they can speak to you directly.
And so I have this one idiot.
I forgot his name.
It's something like Brent from State Farm or Farmers or whatever, something like that.
One of those.
This asshole has been nonstop fucking calling me at work, texting me one time.
I answered the phone accidentally because it is like a number of the guy that we bought the car, you know, the number of the place we bought the Jeep from.
And I thought that they were, you know, they were needing something.
And anyhow, he said, you know, hey, I'm Brent from whatever farmer state farm, all state, whatever.
And he said he goes, hey, hey, Mark.
And I said, I'm not Mark.
And he goes, well, who is this?
And I hung up.
You know, it pissed me off.
What I should have done was hung up on him.
You know, I if I hung up and tried that strategy, it probably would have been the best.
You know, I hung up on him, but the strategy I should have tried was telling him, leave me the fuck alone.
If you call me again, I'm going to do harassment on you or something.
Or if you call me one more time, I'll never buy your fucking insurance again and I will report you to your insurance company.
But I didn't, you know.
So anyhow, you know, the call in and text in a whole nine yards, I was so pissed.
All I could do was hang up.
You ever you ever do that?
Right.
You get so mad, you just fucking hang up.
Yeah, and you don't think you don't think about it, right?
Yeah.
Well, I should have told him quit fucking calling.
So anyhow, I had to go extremes on this.
So I'll explain it.
So I, you know, he leaves voicemails constantly.
And I mean, I had three of them in one day and two texts from this asshole.
So he'd have to listen to my message every time to give a voicemail.
So I get into my phone and record a new message, which wasn't easy.
It took me an hour to figure this shit out.
So anyhow, and it was this.
And if you want to hear it, you know, call me and I won't answer.
You'll hear it.
I recorded this.
Brent, you're a fucking dickhead that loves to spam and invade people's privacy.
I figured out you don't have a life, but I do.
So I am busy and don't have time for your shit.
So could you kindly go fuck a tree or something that will prevent you from bothering me ever again?
I hate you and your fucking insurance company.
They got to work.
It should work.
That should work.
I think you'll get the point.
I think you'll get the point too.
Oh, and the other thing I forgot to say is I called him back and it's a non call number.
So he can't call him back and spam him back.
What the hell?
Yeah.
This number is not available to be picked up or some shit like that.
I'm like, you mother.
So, oh, I was pissed as hell at this time.
And then after that, it took me an hour to get into my voicemail, but at least I know how to do it now.
So if I change my voicemail, I know how to do it.
So but I'm going to leave it on there for a couple of weeks before I change it.
You know, anyone that's worked this shit will go, hey, what's that about?
And then I'll tell them, you know.
So anyhow, I'll do a follow up report on that so people know exactly what happened.
I imagine after this, they will want to know.
So anyhow, Rob, I'm done ranting for a while.
We turn to you.
OK.
A legendary hard rock group is launching its own coffee brand at one of America's biggest motorcycle rallies, naturally.
Sturgis?
Motorhead, a band that will celebrate its 50th anniversary this year.
Oh, yeah.
It's iconic with that iconic county frontman and bassist.
Let me kill Mr.
God rest his soul.
We love a Lemmy.
Sorry.
Yes.
It has announced that it will launch its Speed Freak coffee at Daytona Bike Week 2025.
Oh.
It will be held February 28th to March 9th in Florida.
The emotional materials describe the blend as the loudest, fastest, and heaviest coffee you'll ever ingest,
which sounds about right for a band whose signature songs include Ace of Spades, Overkill, Death Forever, and We Are the Road Crew.
The coffee is further described as a full-body, paint-peeling base gripper containing notes of dark chocolate, caramel, and cocoa, trying to fuel your day.
Truth be told, it's also a little nutty with a fruit kick to boot.
I'm sold.
What about you?
Oh, yeah.
Anything with chocolate.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, that sounds...
It sounds like it's going to amuse you.
Yeah.
Wow.
Good.
When is it coming out?
Did it say exactly when?
When is bike week?
Well, they're announcing it February 28th to March 9th.
Okay.
I'll just look it up on the Internet because they've got to be an Internet presence.
This article does not say when it's actually going to be released.
I'll find out because I want to try some of that.
What about you?
Oh, definitely.
Okay.
You know what?
Let's both do our own report like we did...
Oh, shit.
I forgot.
The Buffalo Sauce Pepsi or whatever.
Yeah.
We're going to do the Douchebag Does It For You.
Thanks to Joey Barrow.
Yeah.
Yep.
So, anyhow, let's see.
Oh, Lemmy.
I am doing a report on the music creeps about Lemmy Kilmeister, Meister, whatever.
I think it's Kilmeister.
Yeah.
Okay.
Lenny Kilmeister and the songs that he's written for other people.
He was a very accomplished songwriter, but nobody really knows it.
He has probably 30 top songs that you've heard of on the radio or heard playing somewhere.
And he was a very accomplished songwriter, and he made a lot more money writing songs
than he did being in Motorhead.
And I'm going to expose this to everybody on the...
Probably not the next music creeps because we got some stuff going on.
Oh, well, I'll tell you what it is so you can come up with your list.
One of the things that we're going to focus in on is what if you had the power to grab
somebody out of one band or a solo artist and put them in another band forcefully?
They don't want them there.
And then you have to explain what will happen.
Okay.
So, like maybe putting Axl Rose with Steely Dan, you know, and you're forcing them in
there, right?
So you have to come up with... it's got to be an odd pairing, probably piss them off,
right?
And they probably wouldn't work well together.
So, you put them in there, one is a ha-ha, and two, what would happen?
Would they end up in a fistfight?
Would they all walk off and not talk to each other?
So, we're going to have a list.
I'm going to do probably maybe 12 of them.
So, however many comes to mind that you can think of that you think would be funny, go
ahead and do that because that's what we're going to do.
You know me, I like to stick to Ronnie's rules.
Seven?
Okay.
All right.
You know me, I like...
No wonder he likes you better.
Yeah, I stick to the rules.
That's why he likes you better.
All right.
Okay.
Let's see.
Anyhow, well, we got some emails.
You want to take our first break and come back and get on them?
Yeah, sounds good.
All right.
We'll be right back.
Two Dish Bags and Microphone is the only podcast available anywhere with Gusto.
That's right.
I said Gusto.
Gusto is a magical ingredient in Schlitz beer that makes it so damn delicious.
So, enjoy a little Gusto from your podcast today.
Why?
What a burger, you say?
Well, because what a deep-fried crispy chicken nubbit just didn't have the right ring.
And now, deep thoughts with Mark.
If I were floating in outer space, if I was to paddle my arms and legs, would I float
faster?
Hmph.
I may never know.
Now, from this underground bunker in Camden in Missouri, stock-full of dried guts, canned
food, and a couple of vibrating toys, and some ramblings of a madman featuring Rob Radd.
The cheapest way to bundle your home and auto insurance is to live in your car.
Now, it's time for Pick Up Lines from a Loser.
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
Hey there, fuckstick.
You're just in time for brand new feature news nobody gives a shit about.
Punxsutawney fills.
Babies are named Shadow and Sonny.
Hi, y'all.
This is Chicago.
I am the most dangerous city in North America.
You can't touch me.
Oh yeah?
This is Kansas City here.
Hold my beer, bitch.
Next up, Things Overheard in Hell.
Dishwater has the top ten spots on Billboard Hot 100.
Have you ever wondered where something came from?
Have you ever looked at something and said, hey, I wonder what the origin of that is?
Well, so have we.
That's why we give you The Origin of.
This is the origin of two douchebags and microphone.
It all started a couple of years ago when Topher and I realized we could annoy people really easily at will.
We decided to take it a little further and start a podcast to try to annoy more people at a much larger level.
It worked so well, we brought our annoying friend Rob in for the whole gig.
So now you have three horrible podcasts out of one horrible podcast.
You're welcome, America.
Two douchebags and a microphone on Mark in Kansas City.
And I'm Rob in Kansas City.
And that would be Missouri for you out of town folk that may not know where that's at.
And what is around there? What is it?
Just this little thing we call Lake of the Ozarks.
That's right. Like what you've seen on TV, what you've seen on Netflix, all of that.
That's where Rob, he is in the epicenter of sin. Lake of the Ozarks.
So you want to get into some emails?
Yeah, sounds good.
All right. First one's from Ronnie Tulsa King.
All right.
You can only listen to seven albums for the rest of your life.
What would they be? Ronnie and Tulsa, Tulsa King.
We'll do that.
All right.
We'll do that Tuesday night.
Yeah.
Okay. I think I've already got two in my head right now.
Okay.
Yeah, I think so. I do too.
Mark. Oh, by the way, everybody is after me on this one.
Everybody seems to be irritated with me in one way or another.
So this is the first of many of them that decided I'm an asshole.
So, Mark, you really seem intelligent sometimes, but on the same hand, you seem like a complete idiot.
Why is that?
Gabe and Princeton.
Okay.
Yeah.
Okay. You want to ask something about cigars?
You want to ask something about band related?
You want to ask something about what I'm interested in?
I'm a fucking genius.
You want to ask me to write a thesis on, I don't know, world geography?
I'm not your guy.
I'm more of a common sense guy.
I'm not a college guy.
That's why I went to trade school.
That's why I did not go to college.
Well, I did for briefly, but yeah, some things I'm really intelligent on and some things I'm pretty damn dumb on.
So I don't get what your point is.
Rob, what do you know really well?
I know how to cut steel.
Okay. Rob, what do you not know really well?
I don't understand it.
Okay. So would you call yourself brilliant at cutting steel?
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't come up with different ways.
Would you call yourself?
I mean, different angles, you know.
When it comes to auto mechanics, yeah. I should have listened to my dad.
Yeah. You see, so look, this email here does not piss me off because it's true.
If you hit me with the wrong subject, I'm a dumb ass, but it doesn't bother me.
I'm me. I don't give a shit.
I don't have to improve.
I don't have to impress Gabe and Princeton with anything.
If Gabe and Princeton does not like what I do, Gabe and Princeton does not have to download this program.
That's it.
So at least I'm not...
It's just being human.
Yeah.
Just being human.
At least I'm not listening to a complete idiot.
But you did say I sound really intelligent sometimes.
So, you know, maybe whenever I sound really intelligent, you listen, and whenever I sound like a complete idiot, you just fast forward.
How's that?
Can we come to an agreement there?
So anyhow, next one, and this is a good one too.
Mark, you're a dumb ass.
You do not pronounce Cohiba Beehive correctly.
George and Willington.
Yes, it's beehike or beehike.
Depending on who you are, it's a...
No, no, actually it's beehike.
I forgot how...
Beehike.
You know what?
It's something like that.
And I know it's not beehike.
I pronounce it like that because no one would know how to look it up if I pronounced it the right way.
And I think actually it's bahike.
Bahica.
So it's not beehike, it's bahica.
Yeah, that's what it is.
Bahica.
So I know what it is.
But if I said, hey, it's a bahica, you're going to spell it wrong and you're not going to know what to look up if you want to.
If I pronounce it wrong and pronounce it like it's spelled over here,
beehike, B-E-H-I-K-E, then you're going to go look it up.
I mean, successfully.
So yeah, I know.
And actually I should know it really well.
It sent me back 300 bucks for a very short robusto.
And that was a great price for it because a friend of mine is a cigar importer.
And he had one to sell me at a sale price and that was.
But it was a very good cigar.
It was the best cigar I'd ever had in my life.
It's fucking fantastic.
But anyhow, so.
Okay.
Ronnie's top seven bands to listen to forever are
White Snake is number seven, Rush is number six.
Judas Priest is number five.
Black Sad.
I know I missed that one completely too.
Numberless.
I'm just not a priest fan.
I'm more of a maiden fan.
Oh, okay.
I love maiden too.
I know I keep it clear here.
Number five is Black Sabbath.
Number four is April Wine.
Oh, hell yeah.
Yep. Yep.
Why did I get that?
That's what I thought when I read this.
Yes.
Number three is Deep Purple.
One for me.
Yep.
Oh, wait a minute.
Who did I skip?
Okay. Number two is Deep Purple.
Number one is Led Zeppelin.
All right.
That's pretty solid.
Pretty solid.
Solid. Solid with us, Ronnie. Solid with us.
Yeah. Yeah.
Thank you, Ronnie.
Tulsa King, we appreciate it.
And we will get on your list of seven albums.
But again, right back at you.
Right, Rob?
Yeah.
Yep.
You asked us if we came right back at you.
Anything musically like that, we're going to throw right back at you because we want to know.
Yeah, because we're trying to get to know us.
We're trying to get to know you.
Okay. There we go.
Hey, guys.
I live just outside of Freeman.
It's my understanding that the police memorial isn't going to be located at the Justice Center, but at the city park.
That hideous chimney will stay.
Sorry, Ronnie in South Freeman.
It won't stay if we go help some people to go tear it down.
Allegedly.
We already have backup.
Yeah. Yeah.
We don't care.
We don't care where the memorial is going.
That chimney is coming down.
So, but thank you for letting us know, Lonnie in South Freeman.
Okay.
I love how that got a lot of steam, didn't it?
Oh, my God, did it.
I didn't think that anyone would give that much of a shit about it, but evidently everyone else strives by that thing and like just goes, well, it's a truth.
It means a lie.
Why?
It is the dumbest idea for a memorial to anything I've ever seen.
We had some gal from Kansas call her in one battle.
Yeah, yeah, from Lawrence.
She wrote in before you told her and I remember her now.
Yeah.
Everyone knows that that thing is a piece of crap.
And whoever thought of both sides.
Yeah.
Whoever thought of putting a chimney there.
I question your brain cells.
Sorry.
But that is the dumbest thing I've ever seen for a memorial in my life.
So anyhow.
And I've seen a lot of dumb things.
Have you, Rob?
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
Would you put this up there?
Yeah, yeah.
That's probably a top.
Yeah.
Yep.
Okay.
All right.
And then finally, I love the new Uncle Rob bit.
You left off number three.
I just thought I would like to correct it.
Janie.
Yeah.
Yeah, we know.
I read that one because it was like the shortest of all of them.
Of the people complaining about number three or thinking we missed it.
Yeah, but they're doing it great.
They're acknowledging it.
Yeah, we understand and we're going to do it.
You guys will have number three shortly.
Yeah, so thank you.
Oh, I got one more here.
Hang on.
I'm on board.
You need a new town to pimp in your douchebag pledge.
The knob stroke town or whatever sounds perfect.
I think it's Adam Branson.
Knoblic.
Knob.
Knoblic.
Yes.
Knoblic.
Adam Branson.
Yes.
So yeah, Adam Branson.
That's true.
Yeah.
Okay.
So we've already decided Knoblic is it.
I think that's what you meant by saying Knob Stroke.
Yeah, Knoblic is it.
So we got to find out more about the town.
And the problem is the guy that I had record that no longer does voiceovers.
So it's going to have to be a different voice.
And so I'm sorry.
I'm going to tell you right now it's going to be a different voice.
It's not going to be the same guy, but he no longer does voiceovers because he works
for a controlled situation that won't allow him to do that.
So anyhow, Rob, we turn to you.
All right.
Avis Aeronautics based in San Mateo, California is working to make flying cars a reality.
Amen.
The company released what it calls the first ever video of its kind showing a car driving
down a road before taking off vertically into the sky.
In another video shared by AILA, the car is seen soaring over a vehicle before safely
landing on the ground.
AILA's CEO, Jim Dockhobby, hopes the video can serve as a proof of concept, one that
demonstrates flying cars are not just a dream, but a potential reality.
AILA's made headlines in July 2023 when the MAA granted the company permission to begin
its test flights.
A year and a half later, the company shared its first footage of those tests.
McCollumy envisions flying cars as a way to reduce traffic congestion and make travel
more efficient.
The answer says infrastructure for the innovation is already in place, saying there are highways
in the sky.
Very fricking cool.
This is what we've been waiting for.
Every guy around, every guy that's a guy's guy, you know?
Yeah.
We've been waiting for this forever.
This is something like, I'm telling you what, there's going to be a mad rush for this stuff.
Star Wars.
Star Wars is what got, what, everybody, yeah.
Yeah, I mean, I know I'm not the only one and you're not the only one.
It wasn't exactly a car, but you know.
Well, a personalized vehicle that it's like, well, I'm going to go see Rob.
I'm going to take about 20 minutes to get there.
I better leave right now.
You jump in the personal flight vehicle and you go towards Rob.
Yeah.
It's going to be interesting though, because I do have a feeling, number one, it's not going to be as easy as it seems, right?
You're up in the air.
No, it's not.
Yeah, you're up in the air.
You're like, is that my house?
I think that's home.
I don't know.
You get down closer.
Oh shit, I'm way away.
Then you go back up and you start going the way that is.
And then you overshoot it.
I think it's going to be a pain in the ass at first until you learn it really well.
Or maybe they have some sort of magnifier on there to where you can look and see the ground below.
Or maybe you're close enough to where you do see the ground enough to where you know you're at.
I don't know.
Do you see?
I've got GPS.
OK.
You know what?
GPS will work then.
Yeah, that's a good idea.
OK.
All right.
I've got something here.
Remember slice?
Yeah, slice cola.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm a bit out of order with cola, but yeah.
During the taping of an Up and Coming Talk Show appearance on the Jonathan Ross Show,
it was reportedly revealed that customers at his Lucky Cat restaurant were stealing
the cat figurines that decorate the entire bakery.
The celebrity chef told Ross that 477 of the cat figurines,
which are inspired by the Monika Niko figurines that are often seen in Japanese restaurants,
were stolen in the first week of operations after Lucky Cat's grand opening in the Bishop Gate area of London.
They cost 4.50 pounds each, thank you.
It was unclear whether the land seal intended to be thought of at Brooks.
My date of death and these appearance on Jonathan Ross Show are Saturday.
Cool.
Wow.
In one week they stole 477 of them.
Classic, isn't it?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, they're not walking around and stealing that thing.
They're stealing it.
All right.
I found the article and I apologize for all the hand-hawn earlier.
You're fine.
Okay.
Slice soda.
It came out.
It was big for a few years because it had 10% fruit juice in it, remember?
Yeah.
But no one cared to look at the ingredients panel at first.
It was originally introduced as Pepsi's answer to Sprite, which they're still looking for.
The healthier image, it worked for a while,
and parents eventually started looking at the ingredients list after all the little ones developed type 2 diabetes
and probably a body mass of probably in the 40s.
So they caught that the only difference between that and the regular soda was about 10% fruit juice, allegedly.
And the fruit juice made it taste like fried ass anyhow, didn't it?
Yeah.
Yeah, it was horrible.
It did.
So they find out that it's not that healthy for you.
Everyone fell for the gimmick pretty much.
It was like 10% fruit juice and everybody's like, eh, you know.
And they ran out and got it.
And what did it last, maybe four years, five years, maybe something like that?
Yeah, something like that.
Yeah, it wasn't long.
OK.
So slice had eventually disappeared from all the store shelves.
But that is until now, Rob.
It's back for a few retailers have it.
And Costco is going to have it as well.
They have it in like California, maybe Arizona or something, but they plan on having it from this article.
They plan on rolling it out everywhere.
But this time it's not it's not a part of PepsiCo and it is a healthier alternative to regular sugar sugary sodas.
Sujilife has reinvented the classic old stuff in name only.
So anyhow, it was.
Hang on, I got some more here.
And OK, this version of slice will compete with various new sodas that claim to be probiotic, prebiotic and less sugar.
The drink will mix with the various versions of the new health trend.
As a matter of fact, Coke is rolling out one.
I think it's already rolled out.
And you know, the Simply Brands, it's of juice, Simply Juice.
You see them all over, right?
Yeah, yeah.
OK, they have a Simply Pop now.
And so it's going to compete with the slice.
But Pepsi doesn't own it anymore.
The Sujilife owns it, but it's going to compete with this and the other the Poppy.
Have you seen the Poppy Probiotic alternative to soda?
I think it's called Poppy.
Yeah, it's going to compete with all of these.
So so anyhow, we'll see how well it does because I don't know.
You know, there's something about people that if they want sugary sodas,
they usually don't tend to like healthier alternatives, right?
Right.
Yeah.
So we'll see what happens.
So anyhow, that's pretty much it there.
I'm glad I got through that damn thing.
So anyhow, Rob, let's take our second break and we'll come right back.
Sound good?
Sounds good.
OK, I'm off the hook.
OK.
The apocalypse just happened.
You don't know what to do.
You don't know where to go.
But we can tell you what you can eat.
How to stay clean during an apocalypse.
Plant oils such as cedarwood, rosewood, and rose are often added to soaps to impart their scents.
The fruits of several native North American plants contain sufficient levels of saponin to produce lather and can be used as soaps or shampoos.
Tomorrow morning while grinding your coffee beans for your double mocha latte,
remember to not get your genitals caught in the grinder.
It really hurts.
Who can afford plastic surgery?
Stay safe, everyone.
Yes, it's true.
Mark is an old bastard.
It's also true that Mark uses a lot of ibuprofen.
But Mark would like to tell you, if you see any pictures of him roofing ibuprofen,
it's obviously fake and you're to take the pictures and tear them up immediately.
Our constant pursuit for a real knee-slapper.
It's strange insults from an alien.
Real hilarity.
You are dressed like an assistant event coach at an Ohio State Middle School.
Oh shit, what's that over there?
Oh no, it's the island of horrible jokes.
Ugh!
I asked my date to meet me at the gym.
She didn't show up.
I guess we're not going to work out.
Hey there, fuckstick.
You're just in time for brand new feature news nobody gives a shit about.
A woman in Texas holds the world's record for the longest time.
She checks in at 3.11 inches wide.
And now, deep thoughts with Mark.
Should I throw away all my socks, then only buy 30 pair of one kind of sock?
Will they eventually not match up?
Hmph, I may never know.
Two dish bags of microphone in an effort to keep everything fresh.
We offer you first world problems.
Oh shit, look at that drive-thru wine.
Surely wouldn't expect me to actually have to go in.
Ugh, this sucks.
Harambe used to listen to our original show, Two Dip Shits and a Cheek Radio Shack realistic tape recorder.
Harambe does not listen to our original show, Two Dip Shits and a Cheek Radio Shack realistic tape recorder anymore.
You might ask why Harambe never listens to our original show, Two Dip Shits and a Cheek Radio Shack realistic tape recorder.
Well, it's because Harambe is dead.
Senselessly murdered because some idiot did not watch her child properly while looking on her phone.
Sadly, Harambe does not listen to our original show, Two Dip Shits and a Cheek Radio Shack realistic tape recorder, or any other show, anymore.
Sorry, Harambe.
These guys are inviting as a used hypodermic needle.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay, so we're just two douchebags in microphone and I'm Mark.
And I'm Rob.
Alright, Rob, you got something you want to go into?
Oh, yeah, yeah. I forgot to bring it up.
There are emails. We were talking about that email from Brussels we got.
Yes, yes.
I went back and re-listed. That was Walt in Brussels.
And he was the one that asked about the plane crashes that I didn't want to talk about.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And Rob, you know what? I get what you're saying.
I just felt because, you know, he bothered to write.
I was going to brush on it. I didn't go into it. I just gave him some of my opinions and we moved on.
So, anyhow, but I get it.
And I got thinking about, you know, I mean, they're so made conspiracy theories.
They could have something to do with the drones here all back. You never know.
Yeah, yeah, I mean.
We don't know at this point, so I can't answer.
If we did know, we'd probably stop him, right? I mean, yeah, so, yeah.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, so, anyhow, so Walt in Brussels, thank you very much.
And we hope to hear more from you and maybe other people in Brussels because we've always had a great presence there.
So, yeah, I remember like the first couple of weeks we were in existence.
Brussels was like one of the first hits we got. It was like, wow.
So like that, I believe that outside the U.S., Brussels was the first market that we hit was that.
So thank you, Brussels. Keep writing in. Walt, thank you.
It just kind of invigorates you, you know.
So I got something about sticks and do you want to hear?
Sure. I might do this on the music creeps, too, but I think it deserves to go on here because you and I have always talked about our love for sticks.
Right. We love that. OK.
Dennis DeYoung said I was begging for my life and my job was sticks.
Dennis DeYoung has been out of sticks for 25 years.
The band chose to replace him when he was deathly ill and couldn't tour with the band in 1999.
And that was their comeback album. And the name of it escapes me.
But it wasn't it wasn't anything to write home about. I can tell you that right now.
It was an OK, OK album at best. But anyhow, DeYoung co-founded Sticks in 1972.
Sticks broke up after Killroy Was Here album in 1983. We spoke about that a few times, haven't we?
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We.
You and I liked it. It wasn't our favorite, but we liked it.
But evidently, a lot of people hated it and it ruined their image as a rocker.
So anyhow, Killroy Was Here album in 1983 kind of killed it.
He was a part of the reunion in 1990. You know, and then he got ill.
He grew ill and they chose to replace him instead of waiting for him.
They replaced him. And then after they replaced him, the story is, is they started saying that he ruined the band and everything.
And he's never going to come back in. And he's like, you know what?
He goes, you know, he doesn't like his bandmates.
He had, you know, he had he wants to do a farewell tour with Sticks, but not because he likes him, but because he he's doing that.
He wants to do this for the fans. So I read that. I read that. Yeah.
And so Sticks has declined the idea, which I that pisses me off because look, whatever your problem is with Dennis D. Young, so be it.
That's fine. Nobody's trying to change your opinion of them.
What people want to do is they want to see this origin well as much as they can.
They want to see the as much as the original lineup as they can because you guys are not going to be touring in a couple of years.
We know this father time is catching up with you guys. Dennis D. Young's like probably 74 now, I believe.
OK, so he can't be doing this much longer.
Everyone else, I don't know how old Tommy Shaw is, but he's probably right behind him.
So these guys are not going to be around that much longer, at least playing.
OK, and Dennis D. Young, I think he has the right idea.
Look, he's swollen his pride. These guys dumped his ass.
He was deathly ill and they dumped his ass. So he's swollen his pride to try to do this for the fans.
And he's getting a big double barrel from them.
So anyhow, I don't think Dennis D. Young is going to get his way or the fans are going to get their way either, because I guarantee you there's there's the two schools.
Right. And there's the people like the Tommy Shaw rocker.
And then there's the people that like the Dennis D. Young melodic. And then there's people like you and me that like them both.
So I guarantee you even the rockers, the Tommy Shaw rockers want to see Dennis D. Young in there.
They want to see the whole band as much as they can. A couple of them died. So they're not going to be able to do that.
But, you know, this would be close enough to the original lineup to where if you go see him, you feel satisfied.
Like someone like me or Rob, did you ever get to see him? I never got to see him.
Not with Dennis.
Yeah, with Dennis.
Not with Dennis.
I would love to see him with Dennis. So anyhow, Sticks, thanks for nothing.
Rob, we turn to you.
All right.
Alan Baldwin has opened up about the disastrous impact of West's shooting and on his mental health, admitting that he is happier when he's asleep than in his waking wife.
In October 2021, Senate Childhood for Helena Hutchins died when the A-list actor was using a default discharge on the set of the Western bill.
In October, Alec reached an undisclosed settlement with Hutchins' family in the wrongful dog death lawsuit.
His trial for involuntary manslaughter was thrown out in August 2024.
In a TLC reality show, the Baldwin's, Alec spoke candidly about how he was mentally trained about shooting while wife Hilaria Baldwin revealed how he was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder.
Wow.
Yeah, I mean, I would do it.
Yeah, that would be a hell of a burden.
I get it. I get it.
I do too. I went from like...
I did not. When it happened, I was referring, that never crossed my mind on the mental state that would put him in.
Yeah. Yeah, I never did either. And I went from like thinking he was a dickhead.
I mean, he might have used to been with the screaming at his kid and all that stuff and everything.
He might have used to been a hothead and a dickhead.
But I think, you know, he's older now.
And I could not imagine accidentally killing somebody innocent and how that would affect you.
And I'm sure that he does not sleep at night.
So I feel bad for him and I'm kind of laying off of him now.
I'm not like really outbashing him like I used to.
Because I have to. I actually kind of take it up for him.
Yeah, me too. I feel sorry for the guy and that sucks.
I'm glad that the family...
Look, Alec Baldwin is wealthy.
So he could break off a chunk of that.
I'm glad that the family is least taken care of over that.
Yes.
So, yeah, that's got to be a hard thing to do.
And if you ask the family, they'd rather have their loved one back.
But they can't.
So they might as well be able to live comfortably because of that.
So anyhow, so wow. Thank you, Rob.
I'm glad you reported on that.
I had no idea that was going on.
Yeah.
All right.
There's a new thing going on.
Gen Z, you know, our friends, Gen Z, we talk about them a lot.
We're kind of fond of them, aren't we?
Yeah, yeah, we're getting pretty fond of them.
I love their attitude. They're just like, we don't give a shit.
They're not money motivated. They don't care.
They're like, whatever. Nothing.
It just goes off their back.
They're going to be like the first generation without any heart disease
because they don't give a shit about it.
So Gen Z will not apply for jobs that don't disclose a salary,
which I think is awesome.
In the age of online job hiring,
there are a few things that can keep Generation Z from sending in their resume,
namely if the job listing does not include the salary.
Why? It matters.
Gen Z is primed to make up 50% of the global workforce by 2030
and could have a major say in certain shifting workforce expectations.
The group, which includes workers up to 28 years old,
is spearheading major changes in hiring departments
as companies look to recruit top talent.
According to a new report from, it's called like Job Birdie or something like that,
companies may be scaring off the younger generation since 58% of Gen Zers
surveyed said they won't apply for a job if the salary isn't disclosed ahead of time.
In addition, 71% of Gen Zers said that they believe salaries should be openly discussed in the workplace.
Rob, what do you think?
And then I'll go back to the rest of this.
Honestly, I'm one that believes you don't tell people how much you make.
Exactly, because you get dissension in there.
How come he gets more than me?
Well, you may not know what all he does.
There's all these factors.
Exactly.
But as far as them disclosing your salary, they could put in a range.
Like let's say it's from 68,000 to 80,000.
And that depends on your experience and how well you interviewed and all that, right?
Yeah, they could do that.
I mean, they may not give you your exact salary if you're chosen,
but they can give you a rough estimate between these two thresholds or whatever.
So since many Gen Zers are dealing with financial uncertainty as a result of rising living costs and student loans,
there could be a greater push to make sure they're going to be paid fairly by a company even before the interview stage.
The report, which was based on responses from 2000 adults aged 18 to 27, show 58% of Gen Zers said a salary between 50,000 and 100,000 would provide financial stability.
Wow, they're aiming kind of low with the 50,000 there.
I mean, I don't know. 50,000 in one person? I don't know.
Still, many think more is expected in today's world with one in four saying they'd need between 100,000 and 200,000.
That's more like it. 100,000, 200,000 for a comfortable lifestyle.
The reason I say that, have you seen the prices of houses?
Yeah, I have.
Pieces of garbage are going for 300 grand that have fallen in.
So this is while the youngest working generation often still has to rely on their parents to make ends meet with 41% of Gen Z saying they still depend on their family for money.
And I know some of them. Yeah, it's true. And it's a sad testament.
I can tell you that. And not against Gen Zers. It's a sad testament to what has happened to our dollar and the misuse of it and the debt that we have going on.
So anyhow, without going into anything else, Rob, we look at you.
Okay, this is, yeah, this one's a far out there for you.
Okay.
Irish authorities were alerted to the discovery of partial human remains on February 21st for a police statement obtained by people.
A human hand was discovered at a schoolyard in Ireland and it is thought to have once belonged to a child, according to reports.
In a statement obtained by people, the National Police and Security Service of Ireland said they were alerted to the discovery of partial human remains at a premises in Darndale, Dublin on Friday, February 21st.
The statement added that the state pathologist was notified and the body part was removed for examination and DNA analysis, which will assist in confirming the identity and determine the course of the investigation.
The Irish police also said that the investigation remained ongoing.
Based on CCTV footage, it is believed that the remains, which local news broadcasters, RTE, reported was a hand, were dropped into the schoolyard by bird at about 1030 a.m. local time before they were discovered and reported to police about two hours later.
Wow.
No children on the premises at the time as school was out for mid-term break.
On the card on the card captioned, well, of a bird dropping a human hand.
Wow.
So that's the scary part was it's a kid's hand.
Yeah, yeah, I don't mean to laugh on that.
Right.
But it's like, wow.
Yeah, kind of a nervous laugh.
Wow.
It's a child's hand.
Right.
And a bird dropped it.
Not good.
In a schoolyard.
Yeah, in a schoolyard.
Wow.
I imagine they'll eventually figure out what that is because that hand had to have had a body attached to it, right?
Yeah, yeah, like it said, they have the hand, they're going to do DNA tests and stuff.
Yeah, they'll probably figure that out, I'm sure.
So, wow.
Okay.
Very interesting.
You know, I told Val the other day that I wanted to be cremated.
I didn't mean next week.
Now I have to cancel the appointment.
All right.
There's a tattoo artist that inks his wife with RIP TikTok only to learn the US ban has been lifted.
Time is everything.
Travis Menzenhall from Mesa, Arizona was finishing up some skin art on his wife commemorating TikTok's nine-year run in the US when he found out the APPS US ban had been lifted.
The tattoo artist known as Juice Box can be heard laughing hysterically along with his wife as he takes video of her fresh ink showing a TikTok gravestone reading 2016-2025.
The video then pans to a phone screen with a welcome back messages popping up from the app.
Luckily, they both found humor in the situation and Menzenhall saying, being in the tattoo industry, we like to do silly things.
The Chinese owned app was banned by former President Joe Biden right as he was leaving office.
Even though the US Supreme Court upheld the ban, it only lasted for half a day after President Trump took office and pledged to restore it.
You know, I remember, Rob, I got a tattoo of a pager the day before cell phones came out.
Oh, damn.
Yeah, I know.
I got it on my right ass cheek.
Oh my God.
I can't wear assless chaps anymore.
People laugh at me.
I would.
And then I got a digital camera tattoo on my other ass cheek.
Then smartphones were invented.
I'm zero for two, Rob.
Yeah, you are.
You know, I'm really glad it all started when I shaved my head and I got my yellow pages tattooed on my scalp.
All I had to do was grow my hair back.
Yeah.
Okay, Rob, save this, please.
And thank you.
Okay.
KFC announced on Tuesday that the company will switch its US headquarters from Louisville, Kentucky to Plano, Texas.
Oh, Louisville is a cooler town, fuckers.
Hey, I'll go ahead.
Causing 100 employees to relocate alongside the headquarters within the next six months.
I am disappointed by this decision and believe the company's founder would be too.
Governor Andy Beshear said in a statement, the company's name starts with Kentucky and it has marketed our state heritage and culture in the sale of its product.
According to the change owner, young brand, KFC's relocation is part of a larger plan to eventually have two corporate headquarters, one in Plano and the other in Irvine, California.
And in addition to KFC employees relocating, young brands are also asking roughly 90 members of their remote workforce to relocate.
Those 90 employees are expected to move over the next 18 months.
Despite moving the chain from Kentucky to Texas, the company and the KFC foundation plan to maintain corporate offices in Louisville, Kentucky.
The chain is also planning on opening a flagship store in Louisville.
These changes position us for sustainable growth and will help us better serve our customers, employees, franchises and shareholders.
David Gibbs, young brands, executive chiefs officer said, according to a local fox, help it.
Okay, I figured they were going to be invested in Louisville somehow because Louisville has a brand new auditorium. I mean, a huge, what would you call it? A center, you know, like a basketball center or something like that.
It's huge right in downtown Louisville and it's sponsored by young brands. So I figured they. Yeah.
I just didn't imagine them, you know, sponsoring that and putting in some of the cash to have that thing built and then just bail completely.
So, okay. Thank you, Rob. And young brands is like KFC, Frito Lay and a bunch of other things. I mean, they're all in like one umbrella.
I think maybe it used to be PepsiCo owned all of them and then they sold them to young brands, I think something like that.
Yeah. And if not, then they will be spending that time in the clink.
Clover said that he plans to do this this summer, not right now, because, you know, it's a little cold.
But this summer, he said, not only does he plan on doing this, but he also plans on washing the cars and talking to the people and finding out their backstories and maybe getting them some help.
So I like this Jeffrey Clover because it sounds like he he gives a shit about people.
So he's not just trying to catch and release. He's trying to maybe help rehab the people and put them on a better path.
So I judge like that. I'm all for it. I think that's great. What do you think? Yeah, I am too.
Cool. All right, Rob, we turn to you unless you want to shut this show down.
I'm looking for one more. I got one here if you don't mind then.
Okay, go for it. Okay.
Next time you take a dump in a public restroom, you might want to consider this.
A TikTok video has informed people the common problems associated with the toilet paper in public restrooms, a restroom at a mall in North Carolina had traces of fentanyl on the paper.
The dose was enough to kill somebody would actually make them sick.
Another TikTok video had demonstrated how junkies will go into a public bathroom and shoot up drugs.
There were blood spots on the side of the toilet paper and where no one could see until they touched it.
Another TikTok video explained why people fall victim to the contaminated tissues.
The foreign substances are usually on the side of the paper and you can't see them.
The video shows the video went in to show you the other side of the toilet paper where there are blood spots, fecal matter, fentanyl.
So what they say you really need to do if you if you're going to be out all day, you probably will have to use a public restroom,
especially if you're female because you're going to have to use a toilet paper and sit down to bring your own wet wipes and to use them instead of using the toilet paper provided in the public bathroom.
So yeah.
Alright. Hey, I did come up with another one.
Alright.
Buckle up 911 fans and grab your guitar. Creators Ryan Murphy and Tim Miner have announced a new spinoff for the drama set in Nashville.
Okay.
With the original 911 currently in season eight and it's not surprising that another spinoff is in works.
911 are respond spinoff 911 Lone Star, which recently wrapped its fifth and final season.
Producers must believe the dedicated 911 fan base is hungry for another team of emergency responders.
There's everything to know about 911 Nashville.
The details of 911 Nashville only recently announced the filming dates, let alone premiere date are unknown.
However, when news of the spinoff first came out, Murphy told Variety, we hope to get on the air next fall.
So depending on how quick the turnaround is, we might get Nashville as soon as fall 2025.
If not, it may be held for a mid season show in 2026.
Sounds like something I would check into and watch. What do you think?
Yeah.
Nashville is a fun city.
I get into the 911 and I watched 911 Lone Star too.
Oh yeah, I saw that too and it's good.
Especially lower Broadway, a lot of shenanigans happened, a lot of drunken people, a lot of people doing stupid shit.
That's going to be a fun series. I can tell you that right now.
Half naked chicks going, woo! We know that's going to happen.
So I got one more if you don't mind, if you have the time Rob, is that cool?
Okay.
Plane passenger descends into rage, hurls you sanitary pads at check-in staff after being denied boarding.
A furious passenger hurled her soiled sanitary pads at airport check-in staff when she was denied boarding.
Boy that's mad.
Soiled.
Soiled. Previously used.
Oh God.
Gloria Osomori flew from her hometown of Lagos, Nigeria to Kenyatta National Airport in Nairobi, Kenya for her long-haul trip to Manchester, England on February 3rd.
However, while checking in Osomori was told by airline staff that she did not have the required visa to enter France. She had booked a stop in Paris before the onward flight to Britain.
She was offered an alternative route, landing in London, but Osomori allegedly descended into check-in rage, shouting at the counter agents who tried to stay calm during the tirade.
The angry passenger eventually ended up being refused boarding and deported back into Kenya, losing the cost of her tickets to France and Manchester as well and her hotel booking.
Footage shows the check-in staff as Osomori confronts the attendants.
After a heated argument, the passenger was on her period allegedly through a bloodied menstrual pad which landed on the counter and then fell to the floor.
Oh.
It is seen lying on the ground at the end of the clip.
Rob, what could a man do that would be the equivalent?
Do you ever think of that, like this woman through soiled sanitary napkins previously used?
The closest thing I can come to my mind is wiping your ass and pulling the toilet paper at it.
That's the closest I can take that.
Yeah, maybe a snotty tissue too.
Blow your nose in the air.
I guess you could throw spunk at him.
Yeah, yeah, okay, yeah.
You could piss on him.
Oh well, just something I thought.
Osomori yells in the video, you will provide me a sanitary towel. You cannot take my phone. You cannot take my phone.
I will speak to the Minister of Finance in Nigeria. You will see.
However, the infuriated agent shouted back at her, call the President of Nigeria, call the President of Nigeria.
You will not fly on Kenya Airways, she said.
Osomori was arrested and the used napkin was removed by a custodian with the proper safety equipment on.
Well, we're glad that the custodian was safe, aren't we?
Yes, yes.
And I salute you, Mr. Custodian Guy, for doing that. Someone has to.
Always.
Yeah.
They do the dirty work.
Yes, they do. Such as previously used sanitary napkins on a counter.
So, Rob, are we ending this show?
Yeah, I tell you, I couldn't top that one. I couldn't top that one.
Yep. Well, this is it for two dash bugs and a...oh shoot, I keep saying everything.
Douchebags. Two douchebags and a microphone.
I'll have to read that again. I'm sorry. Hang on, hang on.
Okay. D-O-U-C-H-E-B-A-G.
Douchebag. Douchebag. Yeah, yeah. Douchebag. Two douchebags and a microphone.
Thank you for listening, assholes. Have a good night.
Good night, assholes.
Oh no. Looks like the show's over, kids. Mark has explosive diarrhea and can't afford a wireless mic.
Fear not, assholes. They'll be back invading your ear holes soon.