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leave evidence will be present to assess the situation. Oh shit. What's that over there? Oh no. It's island of horrible jokes.
I can't take my dog to the lake. The ducks keep attacking him. That's where I get for having a purebred dog.
Two douchebags and a microphone. I am the Kansas City section of this this here podcast and I am
Rob the lake of the Ozarks, Camden Missouri portion. There you go. It's like M&M's right?
Well with us it's more like M&W's. Yeah that's true. That's true. Well for M&M's who's the M? One of us will be hanging upside down. There we go. Probably so. We proved it back in the 80's. Oh yeah. Yeah yes we did didn't we? Hang on let me adjust the mic here. It's gonna make a little noise to everybody but Rob.
Alright. There we go. Okay so cool thing is the 60 degree weather is coming back and it's gonna be on my days off next week Tuesday and Wednesday so that's gonna that's gonna be pretty nice. Oh I can't wait.
Can't wait to walk around in short sleeves I'm not kidding you. I mean after like 10 below and the brutal stuff we've had you can walk around in short sleeves whenever 60 degrees after that because it quite frankly it feels like it's 80.
I mean with you compared to us. Right. Yeah so anyhow I have a rare Sunday off and I was gonna see if Topher wanted to go to the city market and you know get some people you know like the Wyatt conversation and the Wyatt conversation exploded man. People loved that.
People loved him. Oh dude yeah I went back a couple times and re-listened to it. Oh it's gold. Yeah I really enjoyed that. It's gold. Wyatt is a very unique individual. He's an older black male and you wouldn't think that he was like he said no he had headphones on when I met him and he said yeah he goes time for mandatory metallica and he had a smile on his face.
I'm like okay he's just fucking around and so and then I kind of you know I didn't explain exactly what I what I was going at there but I like old metallica as in all the way up to Ant Justice and even that has some stuff that I don't like on it and then the rest of it I don't find that interesting or near what they used to do.
The black album was okay but you know and the load and the reload and all that crap I couldn't stand them after that. Yeah see they got into that yeah. Yeah but Wyatt liked all of them. He's a big metallica buff and I thought he was joking around until afterwards and he said something looked at me and smiled and said metallica and I go oh you do like them and he's like yeah I thought he was I thought he was being facetious I really did I thought he's just saying that you know as a ha ha.
But no he's very interesting guy because he's an older black male he was a truck driver had a stroke he can't you know he can't drive anymore but he is a very happy individual and just willing to talk to anybody he is like one of the coolest people you could ever talk to and I hope we run into him again down there because I want to talk to that guy as much as possible he is just a fantastic person.
But the downloads on the Wyatt one are insane everybody wants to hear Wyatt you know Wyatt doesn't even know he's such a fucking star I mean he doesn't so when I see him.
Yeah when I run into him I'm gonna say dude man you set the podcast on fire man people people can't get enough of you so hopefully you'll do some more with us and you know not because it goes big on the podcast but just because he is a really neat voice to listen to.
You know he's done a lot of stuff in his life and and he has his own distinct what would you call it his own distinct taste in music and everything and it's just great talking to him so and you know that him liking Poison Motley Crue and Metallica is one thing that would indicate to you that he had you know that he has his own choice of everything and you know and he's himself you know what I mean he is himself.
Yeah to be that comfortable he's our kind of person yes yeah so I hopefully we can do a regular or somewhat regular segment with him so you know I hope I see him I wish I would have got his number I was going to and I forgot to but anyhow but I'll run into him again I'm sure.
So anyhow yeah the white thing is exploding and I kind of thought it would do well but I didn't know it was going to do that well so and you listen to it three times explains it right there that's how good it is so yeah yeah yeah I like it.
Yeah he like rap Motley Crue Poison all the glamorous stuff in that period in music and you know everything we listened to when we were hanging out yeah and I mean look I know it was kind of stereotyping me being like he likes that for real but I mean anybody would anybody be like really you like that you know I mean.
Yeah and he's a very unique interesting person so anyhow I hope we run into him again but anyhow when I when I go to now it looks like the city market by myself because I was going to go with Topher but then Topher informed me that he hasn't went to the jam down there knuckleheads he goes down there plays drums on the jam knuckleheads on Sundays.
I want to go to knucklehead I was sitting here one night down here in Campton and a couple of my old buddies from up there well Clint and Clint him and another buddy of mine started posting pictures from knuckleheads one night and I said hey one of you two fuckers need to get me a koozie.
They showed up here and koozie knuckleheads koozie a year later.
My buddy Doug brought him and his wife came down to visit me and they brought he brought me that koozie Clint bought it and Doug delivered it a year later Clint doesn't live in Clarksville Arkansas does he.
No no no no no Clint.
That Clint is going to beat the shit out of me when he catches me.
But I told him I'm gonna hide all the Narcan I'm gonna hide all the Narcan he's gonna be shit out of luck.
And I'm pretty sure he still listens even though he hates us which I find remarkable it's like you really torture yourself that much you hate us.
It seems like we have a lot of listeners like that.
Yeah they hate us but they still listen.
Look at this dude there's no bro that wanted to hit you with a microphone.
Yeah I never did hear from him.
He still listens.
Yeah I know.
He just ain't saying nothing.
He's got his tail between his legs. I'm like dude you're within spitting distance so come on.
Come by and hit me with a microphone.
I'm waiting.
Come on down I'll bring mine.
This is a big ass microphone it'll fucking hurt.
So yeah you know you really mean it.
You know I'm very accessible.
So um okay.
But you know while I'm down there sitting market I'll probably go to Corollos and uh get probably a couple of cannolis.
And then my other plan is is to buy a Cubano.
So I'll get Corolla from Corollos I'll get a couple of uh I've already got this planned out so I hope it works.
You know this is contingent on all other stuff of course.
So my plan is as of right now is to go down there and it's going to be by myself probably.
And so I'm going to get a couple of cannolis from uh from Corollos.
And I'm going to get a Cubano a large Cubano from City Market Coffee.
And I'm going to dip those delicious cannolis right in that Cubano and have a fucking little party.
So maybe I'll call you while I'm doing that.
Say hey Rob you know what I'm doing and you're going I don't really give a fuck.
I'm going well I'm going to tell you anyhow you know what I'm doing Rob.
I'm eating my cannoli and dipping it in my Cubano and then about that time you'll hang up.
Right?
What what uh what time today is that you're going to be?
Oh nine ten something like that.
In the morning?
Yes.
I'll be at work.
Oh okay.
I won't answer my phone.
Sunday morning?
Oh Sunday?
Yeah I probably still won't answer my phone.
You call me nine or ten because I know what you're doing now.
Yeah I don't leave a long voicemail where I'm just fucking munching on the cannolis and fucking drinking.
And I'll just erase it.
Okay fair enough.
So anyhow.
We'll talk well wait a second.
We do podcasts Sunday night.
Oh shit I'll have to hear about it.
You will.
Maybe I'll get a couple of extra and an extra Cubano to warm up in the microwave.
Yeah yeah see I'll really have to listen to you how good it was.
Yeah yeah yeah I'm gonna rub it into oh my gosh it was so good.
It was a fucking party oh my gosh everybody came around you know.
I'll have to make it what it was and it's just going to be this big grand event so anyhow.
I got a question Rob.
Do you like those classic the cold flaccid dill spears you know I'm talking about?
Yeah.
Yeah they're like you know they're sliced up a couple of times and then they're in like
you know like a really I don't know a dill a dill sauce or yeah yes.
Yeah that's what I put in my Bloody Marys.
Oh okay yeah.
I would rather have like I would rather have the Chicago style Bloody Mary with the dill
pickle.
Yes.
And with the celery you know what I mean.
Oh me too yeah yeah I agree.
I would eat that dill pickle and eat it after marinating that.
Oh my gosh that is so good.
Oh my god it's so good.
Oh I would agree.
We when we would shovel snow at the condos around the lake here after we got done shoveling
snow we were off the clock we'd be at the clubhouse well at the office and they had
a bar and the boss would bring up he'd make Bloody Marys for yeah we'd drink Bloody Marys
for a couple hours and go home.
Oh that sounds fantastic.
Have you had the Bloody Mary with the pepperoni slices in it yet?
No I have not tried that.
Oh my gosh dude oh oh.
I've heard of them I'm thinking the pepperoni slices and dill pickle.
Yeah yeah no it's both of them.
It's both of them.
Oh is it?
Yeah.
Oh god yeah I got to try it.
Yeah you got the dill spears on one little shoot and then you got the pepperonis on another.
You're supposed to take one of the shoots take it by the dill pickle and then take the
other shoot with pepperoni and grab a couple of pepperoni with your mouth and and eat it
like that and it's fantastic and take you a gulp of the drink.
I'm telling you that is like oh it's so good and well when when you have Bloody Marys again
ask them if they can do the pepperoni one.
Not not everybody does them.
I will yeah I don't drink them all the time.
No no I don't either I you know maybe the crew's coming up at the end of April I might
have a Bloody Mary or two in the morning and I'm pretty sure they do the pepperoni.
In the morning that would be good.
I think they do the pepperoni.
It's more of a cold weather drink.
It it really it really is it'll be warm weather but you know what I can do one or two of them.
In the mornings yeah.
Especially with the pepperoni on a stick you can't go wrong with that.
Pepperoni on stick oh that's yeah oh but anyhow I was talking about those those
pickle spears that love them do you?
Oh I love them.
Oh they're great well I ran into a bad one yesterday.
Okay and here it is it tasted great and everything but you ever went into one
that the skin on it is chewy instead of crisp?
Yeah and and and the pickle part is really kind of limp.
Yes yeah what is that is it old?
Yeah it's like it's an older pickle.
Okay so that's what it was yeah.
I know exactly what you're talking about.
Oh I was really disappointed you know how good they are and I'm like man I can't wait to get one.
So I grab one out of there and I'm like what the hell is this I can't hardly chew it.
So yeah I want something nice crisp and yeah yeah okay no no no thanks thanks for backing me up on
this because I know where I got them from and I'm not going to say because I don't want them to get
hurt or nothing but I'm not gonna get my pickles from there anymore then that was a real letdown.
It may have just been one bad batch.
Yeah that's why I'm not going to say their name so you know what they're forgiven
but if it happens again then I'm going to take the damn pickles back and go look this is the second
time start rotating your style.
Yeah I'm going to but it was a real letdown Rob.
I'm like and I'm like fuck it was horrible I had to spit it out right I mean it's soggy and it's
chewy yeah not no good so anyhow so then I saw something really cool.
Val and I don't do layovers anymore you know unless it's the only flights that you can get
you know like a few years years ago we went to my nephew's wedding my sister's youngest in Grand
Junction Colorado and we had to stop at Denver International and take a smaller plane to Grand
Junction because it the whole metroplex of Grand Junction is just a little bit over 100,000 people
so it's a very small airport so they you know one there wasn't that big a demand for people to get
there two they couldn't land on that airstrip I mean it wasn't big enough so you know we had to
do a layover like that but other than that we try not to do them so we got this cruise coming up
late April right so the the way there the only non-stop was to Fort Lauderdale so we're going
to ride an hour to Miami you know because we got a non-stop I could went to Miami directly just a
couple miles away from the cruise port but we would have had to have a layover in Dallas or one
in Atlanta god forbid or something like that so we chose to drive an hour from Fort Lauderdale to
Miami to get the non-stop so anyhow we we allow one day for weather or any other delays we get
there a day before so if anything happens we have another day to work with so coming back 24 hours
yeah and that's a smart thing to do if you're going on a vacation like that allow yourself a
little bit of room because things happen so um okay so on the way back is out of Miami airport
but it doesn't leave till 10 o'clock at night so we get off the boat about eight that day when
we're leaving you know the last day so before we had to roll around a tropical paradise and
full fully clothed in our in our suitcases and everything it really sucks I mean it really
limits what you can do yeah so um then we found out in Seattle a couple years ago we went on an
Alaskan cruise out of Seattle and they they started having these places okay that uh that
would take your luggage one was a pawn shop we're at Pike's place market our hotel was just a
couple blocks down and I always wanted to go to Pike's place and so we went down there it's a
really cool market on the wharf it's beautiful and uh so they I'm looking around going man there's
got to be like a hotel that I can pay to hold these and then I saw on my phone it said you know
how your phone listens to you and gives you suggestions yeah yeah my phone yeah yeah the
algorithms and it says uh um it says something like tired of carrying your luggage around
just around the corner is uh so-and-so's pawn shop we'll take it in all day for 10 bucks I'm like wow
so the yeah that that would be the place to look for yeah google really helped me on that because
I had no idea they have places that would hold your luggage like that I thought you had to go
find a hotel and pay them and sometimes they you know and if they're booked up they won't do it
because they don't have the room so um anyhow that was pretty cool so right there at Pike's place
it was down in a basement and it was a pawn shop and at first I'm kind of leery and then as soon
as I walk in there I see all these suitcases strung across the back I'm like okay cool everybody
does this so it's obviously legitimate I give them 10 bucks and then when we had to go to the
airport I went there and I got our luggage and it was great so now they have a new thing which is
kick-ass rob they have day passes they're called day passes to these resorts where you don't stay
the night in a hotel room so this is designed for people like us like um the flight doesn't leave
till 10 o'clock at night so we all we have all day to roll around Miami and that time of year
late no early May by this point it's going to be around 85 90 easily and real humid so you know
we'd be miserable until we left so um anyhow and and the other thing is is the flights were you're
only saving a couple of hours anyhow if you take a layover layovers are usually three or four hours
anyhow so you're miserable inside an airport and everything so it was a no-brainer take the red eye
non-stop to Kansas City but it's at 10 o'clock so now that they have these day passes
all I did was I searched the hotels around the around the airport and around the the cruise port
and I found one right in the middle because it's about four miles away the airport and the cruise
port I found one right in the middle that um that has a big pool a little bit of beach access
and everything and for 35 bucks we can stay all day while they hold our luggage
so I was like man that is the way to go but I I can't believe you know that um that they started
doing that because that makes a lot of sense and it also helps keep costs down in hotels right
because you don't have the cleaning ladies having to come out and clean your room you're not using
linens that hadn't been washed um you're not using the electricity in the room you're not using the
tv um all of this stuff so you're just out there hanging out at the pool and you're
you're probably buying drinks so this whole thing yeah yeah yeah I do too I can't believe no one
came up with that before I mean you know uh we used to have to stay the next night and then that
way you know we could leave the next day fresh from the hotel you know and then you get all dressed
because you're leaving on a on a plane so this is awesome so we can leave at 10 that night we'll
probably have to leave for the airport probably about 7 7 30 something like that and then you know
and then we take off at 10 so we have all day I mean we get kicked off of the boat about eight
o'clock latest nine at the latest so from basically 10 o'clock till seven at night we have nothing to
do so now we do I booked this day pass so we get they have a bar there they have food there they
have everything so I just thought that was really cool and isn't that a brilliant idea though
yeah honestly a lot of people have thought about that over the years you know when you're traveling
yeah it just makes sense you need some place to hang out
what you know everybody's like well it costs too much to get a hotel room yeah and you're not
because we're not going to be there yeah we're going to be there for you know but it'd be nice to have the
entities yeah yeah you know no driver i'm glad society's finally coming around to that personally
yeah yeah so am i i mean i only start stepping up for travelers yeah yeah yeah rob i couldn't
have said it any better i agree with you i i mean i'm glad that they do this and so we're going to
have a pretty much have an extra day in miami now so and then you know the time difference
we'll get back here about oh um let's see it leaves at 10 11 12 we'll get here a little bit
after midnight or something like that do what oh hey just how nice to take it for me okay
oh you know what we'll talk about that rob okay well that's my problem otherwise i'd spend
i don't know if i get it to get that short notice um you couldn't on that you couldn't on the cruise
because they shut it down three months before yeah yeah yeah it's too late for this time
we go every year rob we go every year so you know what um not this year next year
well i'm going on one okay good somebody else offered you know what um okay if you have someone
else offer you might try a three day or a four day in case you hate it i don't think it is oh okay
i don't think okay dude i'm not i am not gonna hate it okay then go for a seven or eight
go for a seven i am pices i love being on the water scorpio same here like the ozards
yeah that's a good point my dream is to be on the ocean it is so addictive you'll go every year
ever since like i did i had a good friend get me into cruising a long time ago and she was like
just go on one just go on one i was i was on one oh go ahead and then i was gonna add and then you
throw me some good food and a poker table oh hell yeah and here's another here's another deal too
rob if you're in the casino enough they'll give you free rooms
oh dude a lot of people do that they do not they don't even pay for their rooms because they gamble
so much when they're there you know that yeah yeah yeah they win so much you pay for your room
yeah yeah and even if they don't carnival does norwegian does and i think rural caribbean does
holand america probably not or some other ones disney definitely not but if you're in if you have
so many points racked up they give you a room for free on another cruise because they know you spent
a shitload in that casino see what i'm saying they're like hey we want this guy back because
every time he comes down he spends like uh 10 grand in the casino and it makes sense it's just like
um a friend of mine he says pass away i used to work with him he used to get free stuff free rooms
from the casinos around town all the time and free uh free buffets all this stuff they gave him a
jacket before and that's because he spent so much in the casino that they're like we want this guy
back you know so a high roller or whatever you want to say so anyhow but yeah um actually i would
probably be bored the hot tub more but um i gotta stay a little time at the table oh yeah yeah the
hot tub is awesome and especially in the evening when nobody's out there like on the serenity deck
the serenity deck is an adult only deck and it's really cool um i mean it's cool to see kids we
want to take uh at least one of the grandkids on a cruise uh we'll see if it happens we think that
they would have a blast i mean but um we'll see what happens with that but um it's good to see
the kids play all that but you don't want to do that all the time right so you want to just go
up there and have a couple of a couple of drinks uh moonlight yeah you still want to be grateful
yeah yeah yeah but at the same time you want your alone time too so yeah you want yeah the
serenity deck is exactly for that and the serenity deck is where a lot of people get busted too
because they're not used to all these cameras well all these cameras now you can look at your
room to see what's going on on that deck right and uh so you're flipping through the channels
and you see the serenity deck hey what the hell what's my wife doing there who's that guy
people people don't realize you can do that and they get caught all the time all the time because
the last like five years they started going okay serenity deck you go you go through the uh the
channels then you'll see like the lido deck and then you'll see here you know you'll see this deck
that deck you'll see the water park and they're all on video that you can see from your room live
live shot right and yeah yeah and a lot of people got busted like that because they didn't realize
that the tvs do that inside and you know and probably the person you know probably flipping
through and he's like hey hey wait a minute wait a minute oh shit you know all of a sudden so
um i'm surprised they still do it actually and by the way ladies mart did not mean for the woman to
get busted no no no he just threw that he did not think about that oh no no no i went i went at it
from being a man email e-mailers yeah no no no no okay i'm not pending any of this
i went from it from a male aspect okay because you know i'm not gay i wouldn't go oh i see my guy up
there i know okay i don't mean it like at all female listeners you know we love you so
all right no it's cool i thought it was funny so rob we uh turned to you i had some more stuff but
you know what we're 26 27 minutes into this so go ahead rob yeah i know i know we're watching
time yeah um i ran across this one this got my answers okay uh a sequel to the goonies is in the
works of steven stillberg has been tapped as a producer oh i like
goonies with steven stillberg yeah yeah that sounds good to me yes uh one of the brothers
announced recently that a script writer has been hired to come up with a story that person is
story that person is potty on so really writing reported she wrote old henry and still the king
oh okay yeah uh amnon entertainment will produce it with steven stillberg
christine mccasco craiger and holly barrio at the helm okay this columbus along with stillberg wrote
the original film nearly 40 years ago and is now also a producer
so chris columbus helped write the original
original television too man he must have been old uh
haha chris clemmas okay all right go ahead all right i got you i got you i'm gonna earmark this
so i'm gonna put the losing sound right after i say that you might want to yeah yeah probably
uh the early development with no plot details or director have been released
well and then the story goes uh the goonies earned 125 million worldwide at the box office
yep has developed a pop culture following over the years but yeah it went into uh kiyu qualms statement
uh the little oriental kid yeah and corey corey doleman made a statement too
okay uh actually corey doleman said all i could say is get this all together everybody is looking
good he needs a paycheck
he needs a paycheck
sean astin is looking good
good
josh brolin is looking good well fuck that josh brolin
yeah yeah not a problem there
come on it's josh brolin
absolutely
he says we're all good still and we're all alive so yeah they're wanting to do this
um i'm ready for it
all other stories all of them are in on it they're ready to go
i love that
they got together recently for pictures
i'm in you in
i mean to do it do these two
two about damn time and something like this couldn't come quick enough the movie scene is so
still and stagnant stagnant anymore this will be refreshing
everything is but not even good reboots shitty reboots
anyway are there even writers in hollywood anymore because they're just redoing what's
already been done
look seriously okay there's all different types of stuff
okay here's my point of view i don't want a movie trying to teach me a lesson in life
no no it's bullshit if i'm gonna pay my money you're not going to tell me
about how i need to think about this or that i already know how i feel about stuff
i don't need you trying to tell me so so right then when movies do that i'm like fuck this
i'm not going to be a part of this
well well think about it think about how creative these writers gotta be
look at the fast and furious franchise yeah
okay rocky i hate to add rocky into it although they did come into the creek and follow along
look but look at how many movies you know star wars
how many movies do they have to do you know the ones we really want have only done one or two
we want another one look the rocky movies lost their edge after four when they brought in tommy
gun they really start you know tommy morrison um there's actually i have a story i might go into
that i don't know let me reread it while you're doing your stuff
okay well anyhow it's about tommy morrison yeah oh yeah yeah um well it was bad sad story
rocky five it was a sad story tommy morrison's dead he i mean i don't know how is his widow
putting the blame or whoever she was i don't know well find that story and read it again
so we'll find that story okay we'll go into it uh he was falsely claimed to have aids
do you know that that story was false well what'd he die of
uh i would have to go back into the store well okay i can tell you what i know about it rob
he said that it was false it was a false aids test and he said that magic challenges was too
because of steroids right but they think he was wrong they're pretty sure he had aids or or hiv
that led to aids and that's how he died his immune his immune system was nothing he caught a cold or
something and died um i know if it's well i think it's some lung disease i think i think something's
good okay well i know he couldn't fight he's getting ready to fight who was it was it lennox
lewis or something i really it was going to be a man is really close yeah he was getting ready to
make a comeback well he got his ass beat by a nobody michael bentley i believe was his name
yeah and the reason was is because anybody saw him partying all over the place the night before
and he'd done done what i understand was his usual ritual and that's going around in a limo
picking up anything he can and trying to screw it oh dude dude dude he got pulled over down
to jimmy jimmy uh-huh another spur of fact okay uh it was somewhere around fitzburg marma southeast
kansas uh-huh front neck somewhere you know what i'm talking about maybe he's wanting some chicken
he got pulled over and got a dwi yeah i believe it yeah it is out out in the middle of nowhere in
kansas i see the guy beat his ass on this um right in front of the old lone star in buzzard beach
oh no shit yeah i watched him get his ass whipped because would have been great that would have been
great it was great because he's been a dick man he's going around shoving people around and a
dude fucking knocked the piss out of him right on yeah no after that i lost a lot of respect for him
and uh yeah everybody a lot of people did that he got his i mean it looked to me like he his stardom
went to his head if you will if he really was a star i mean you know he was an up-and-comer but
anyhow yeah it's a sad story because he let all of this stuff uh ruin his life so yeah anyhow um
hey uh why don't we go to post break good idea then we'll come back with our top seven in emails
that sound good hey awesome all right can't wait cool be right back
yo mama's so fat when she went out to the pier people tried to board her harambe used to listen
to our original show two dipshits and cheek reggae oshak realistic tape recorder harambe does not
listen to our original show two dipshits and a cheek radio shack realistic tape recorder anymore
you might ask why harambe never listens to our original show two dipshits and a cheap radio
shack realistic tape recorder well it's because harambe is dead senselessly murdered because some
idiot did not watch her child properly while looking on her phone sadly harambe does not
listen to our original show two dipshits and the cheap radio shack realistic tape recorder
or any other show anymore sorry harambe now from his underground bunker camped in missouri
stocked with dried goods canned food and a couple of vibrating toys his ramblings of a madman
featuring rob rand batman would look ridiculous solving crime on a sunny day
hey everybody this is uncle rob i'm gonna give you some tips for life
hey this is uncle rob's rules to dick pics rule number one title of kick in someone else's name
so as you get busted it's not yours rule number two shoot angles complimentary to your length and
curve rule number four no propping of the way absolutely no undercarriage very important
now it's time for pick up lines from a loser
sir there's something wrong with my phone it doesn't have your number
and i am rob rob um ronnie from tulsa tulsa king wanted us to do our top seven
yes okay this is songs uh or not songs this is bands you can only hear these bands the
rest of your life and that's it so you got to come up with the top seven of what you would wish to
hear if you couldn't hear anything else so rob i turn it over to you okay well uh last night
last report i had five before we got off there i did too uh 10 minutes after we got done i was done
yep so today uh oh till today you had to go back and amend something to make a change
i had to go back and amend it okay but i got it i got it okay and before we go any further ronnie
this goes back at you i want you to answer oh good good idea
okay uh number seven that's what cool solid yes
uh number six speedy dan interesting they're good i like the slower step the older i get
the slower step they have some great music yeah uh number five
number five ozzy solo solid
so yeah not sabbath ozzy solo right right right uh number four
number four of course rainbow i got yeah we're overlapping you know that you know that
uh number three lennard skinner yep solid
you know me and my southern rock oh yeah
um and my talk too they kind of go hand in hand okay
one i think you don't want uh number two hard okay anything anything by the wilson sisters
understandably yes their voices their music yeah great songwriting too
and my number one
is stevie nix wow i did not expect that uh stevie nix slash we would not okay
okay anything okay we had that list all back on music groups yeah about the voices that would put
you to sleep yes and my number one was stevie nix i mean her voice i'd forgotten but i remember
yeah it just
is it's not her voice is her voice you know okay her looks ain't bad no but i mean she's got a very
unique voice that's why i've always got it the stevie nixon plea with that i i definitely see
that i yeah i'd have no argument okay my son how about you barb all right number seven queen
i mean they're responsible for so many songs that i love i mean just everything that they've done is
just so good their early stuff their middle stuff their late stuff all of it that actually
that actually takes me by surprising your top seven oh i've always been a huge queen fan i just
don't talk about them very much and i don't know why right right right um number six sticks
sticks love them okay yeah yeah they should have been there i've seen them three times
yeah they should have been on my list but well now dennis dennis uh dennis deyong wants to get back
with him for a final tour and he doesn't like that today i read that today and he hates him
because they fired him when he was sick and they said that he ruined the band and everything and
he hates him he said i just want to do it for the fans so what ruined the band was mr roboto
yes i'm like you i kind of like this song i like the album the whole album i like it but
i kind of did but a lot of people hated it it killed the rockers and i'm a rocker but i liked
it but i also like kiss's disco stuff too so you know i mean yeah well i mean i mean
yeah we got into storytelling shit music yeah that's right yeah i mean killroy killroy was his story
oh absolutely absolutely and the whole thing is about how robots are taking over everything and
look at it now look at it now uh number number six rainbow
uh number six okay yep they might have been
but they were there they were there they would be okay number five dio solo
oh man
yeah number three deep purple
yeah number three deep purple yeah i knew that would be the yep number two black sabbath and that's
all of them that's every singer they had all of them encompassing everyone well number one is
ozzie solo for me so that is like top seven and uh tulsa king right back at you let us know
yep so um do you want to get to some emails here yeah oh hey hey yeah let's get these
some emails because i have stuff i have to bring up okay sounds good all right uh i was going over
last night's podcast i was listening to it this morning uh-huh and we went over emails last night
yeah there was one email that okay you know how we do we're going over our stuff while the other
person talks yes yeah you have to catch everything we say yep oh they're there yeah yeah um
we had an email that you read off last night
from brussels oh you know what i was gonna say yes i was gonna say something about that yes i did i
was gonna say something but we got distracted talking about other stuff yeah brussels that is
our brussels belgium connection we have a lot of email this we have a lot we were off about
this for a long time oh shit i forgot we did that was quite a while ago every time yeah every time
we were going off off the rss yeah yeah and we're going man brussels we got all kinds of we get
brussels belgium you read email from them last night dude shit okay i i apologize i didn't get
that till this morning when i was here listening i apologize i should have caught that i forgot
that we went off on him telling him they had to email us well i guess i did well what i'm gonna
go back and i'm gonna get the name and everything our next podcast we will say hi and all that i've
got it printed off here somewhere but anyhow okay thank you rob what a great point no i caught that
this morning as i was walking my dogs out 800 degrees below zero weather you know what you're
right now this is all i said was brussels i was right brussels and i was listening this morning
i'm out walking the fucking dogs i'm like brussels that's but that's our belgium look up i forgot
that we went off on him about writing him yeah we did for a while i remember it now we're like hey
you guys come on let us know where you at what you're doing all that stuff so yeah all right
that's one of the first eight countries yeah i remember we saw them on there we're like pointing
go wow look at this yeah i remember that okay um they were they were top of the list too they were
and we still love them we still have a lot of listeners there for whatever reason they like us
there so that's great so thank you uh thank you belgium thank you all right uh emails hey guys how
about a weekly segment called asshole of the week this can be dedicated to someone really deserves
that title maybe even have people that write in to nominate one thanks lenny and lenexa dude i
don't like that idea i like that idea let's pen that down hang on here let me put a note on here
here you want me to do the gavel yeah go ahead do the gavel
all right so be it it is declared asshole of the week from now on i like that idea a lot
i love it i love it thank you lenny perfect it could be anybody yeah yeah someone could write
in and tell what they did and okay we'll we'll decide whether they get you know we'll you know
we'll we'll pick maybe three people right into this that's kind of my stupid criminal that we
try to come up with yeah you know what you're right you're right yep um okay mark i'm certain
i've heard you and rob on other podcasts am i correct tommy and venita uh you've heard you've
heard me because i would tow for we do the sports creeps and the sports bastards and rob you haven't
been on any other podcast right no no this is it okay uh unless you're just talking about me which
it says i've certain you know i've heard rob and and which would be under two douchebags and a
microphone yeah so no i don't know who you thought we were or whatever but i guess not so um okay
next one rob do you have any names of good fishing guide companies to go with on lake of the osirx
oh shit uh i had a neighbor his name was jack let me look him up all right next podcast or possibly
you know yeah let me look him up um actually there's quite a few but jack he actually used
to live next door to me and last i heard he's still doing a fishing guide around here all right
so you're going to try i mean look into it and i will get back to you it'll be our sunday night
podcast you'll get sometime next week they didn't leave a name so i don't know who to say but okay
whoever you are rob's gonna get back to it yeah all right yeah yeah i mean i love those your jack's
name out okay all right next one mark what is your favorite coffee ever i asked about cigars a while
back and then he has a second part of this uh carlos in minneapolis that i'll add i'll answer
next okay my favorite coffee ever is a really good cabano the best one i found was in no no no
is key west in key west it's called big mama's cubano coffee that stuff is fantastic i love a
good cubano it's my favorite form of coffee now i mean i like the one at the city market a lot i
mean they if you have someone does it right it has infused sugar uh uh it has uh really good
cuban coffee and it's uh they do some sort of a special process um when they roast the beans and
so i would definitely say confidently my favorite is a cubano and then the second part of this oh
and also where do you find the columbian rollers the chicks that roll the cigars with the sweat
off their inner thigh remember i talked about that yeah okay i have some friends that would love to
do this sometime thanks in advance carlos in minneapolis um okay thank god i don't smoke cigars
um be in trouble oh i'm telling you you talk about something oh geez hey watch out your wife's
oh yeah yeah well um the way they roll all i meant was the way they roll yeah um okay
uh they had them come through town yes they had them come through town rocky patel sponsored one
and i think uh who was the other one that sponsored it there's rocky patel and um another
cigar company it could be like cao but i think those are from honduras but they could have
columbian rollers okay it might have been ccao cigars too but i know one was rocky patel
and they have the traveling tours and that's where you know they'll have the the women roll
you a bundle right there on the spot you tip them and then you buy the bundle and you go home you
get to watch them roll them but like i was saying before they roll them on their inner thighs a
little bit of sweat and it sticks the and it sticks the leaf to the tobacco inside and it's not just
you know getting to watch them do that but it's a real art this the the the ones that they do the
columbian women and there might be other uh nationalities too that do it but the only ones
i'm familiar with are the columbian women and it's the best draw you'll ever have uh i mean they
they just know what they're doing so well and it's just a work of art seeing them do that you know
rolling with their inner thigh so besides other things that you could think of so
so um and anyhow uh let's see i'm trying to think oh oh i'm going to keep my mouth shut on that one
okay um i'm trying to be informative here and that's all i'm not trying to be titillating
okay rob you need to see it um there are no i don't no i don't famous smoke famous smoke
warehouse in tampa has them a few times a year and there's some other uh of these cigar companies
mail order ones and they usually have showrooms somewhere one of them's down in uh little cuba i
forgot the name of it uh famous smoke i know is in tampa i've been there um okay they have a lot of
these rolling cigar companies because they you know famous smoke is a huge cigar company that
sells all types of cigars so rocky patel or cao or somebody like that will come through and do a tour
and they'll be there for like two weeks and say come on down enjoy the rollers and the whole deal
is you go in there you tip the you tip the ladies a little bit of money and you watch them roll
and you grab you a pack of cigars and they're not that bad priced either they're pretty good priced
and they roll them up and you go home and smoke them and you know it's pretty good deal so i would
that be my best my best advice there is if you can get to one of these big retailers there's
one in pennsylvania i can't remember but anyhow you can look them up the big mail order cigar
companies all do this at their warehouses regularly you have tobacco companies i know that
fiddles and westport did a rolling session um debals on the plaza did one so you can catch them even in
in town minneapolis probably has a few of them so i don't know how you find out when they're coming
by or anything but i do know that you can go to the big warehouses and have that done so all right
next rob i love the uncle rob's life tips more please carla in wentsville wentsville would probably
be missouri yeah yeah over there near st louis uh the extreme western edge no no no no no no no no
wentsville's down outside of springfield oh is it um yeah it's down south okay i thought it was uh
uh yeah i know i know where wentsville is okay uh my neighbor and everly's lady is from
down around the rural wentsville in that area oh okay okay that's awesome yeah that's awesome
southern missouri yeah and we got a lot of lists yeah other clint from clarksville
oh he's arkansas okay yeah no no no but you know i you know down south somewhere yeah
well clint right now is proud he's waking up he's waking up oh go ahead
hey if i'm taking this oh is that right no
wentsville i thought was my st louis yes that's what i was saying i was pretty sure it was i
didn't want to argue with you yeah they have a gm plan yeah there's an extreme
down around springfield something like that anyway um the wentsville yeah wentsville is
up around st louis it's the extreme western edge yeah it's kind of like harrisonville is to
kansas city it's a little ways out there but it's still kind of close enough yeah there's a gm plan
out there you're right yeah yeah yeah because yeah because i know somebody that retired from that
point that went still yeah you're right yeah okay that's cool um i don't know what town south
Missouri it's something like that anyway i don't look enough oh okay um anyhow we love that segment
too we've got to go back and correct the first one the inaugural one and then we have more that
we're going to do uncle rob's tips for life we're very excited about that segment and we love it
so it's not going away you're going to have more of them and we're going to correct number three
when we get a chance because believe me i've heard a little bit about that we're sorry so
anyhow rob we turn it to you all right i'm going to go in and teach the channel hell yeah
chong hell yeah yeah why not that's what i say uh teaching chong's last movie is a new documentary
comedy movie that follows the two beloved stoners teach mary and tommy chong as they embark in one
final adventure they're coming out with another teacher chong dude that's what i'm saying that
sounds great to me uh the teaching chong's last trailer sees the two stoner buddies
embarking one final adventure together while reflecting on their past and contemplating
whether or not this new film should be classified as a fictional movie or a documentary the two are
a scene driving a cadillac cool with a marijuana leaflet on it while lost in the middle of the
desert sounds about right sounds awesome to me yeah i'm sure there's gonna be a peyote involved
awesome the official long line for variety reads teaching chong the last movie defies
documentary expectations offering a wildly imaginative take on genre convention a true
life tale told through a mix of animation and archival madness all are scored by a classic
cinematic road trip comedy which is normal tracing an enduring legacy of pioneering comics
comics teach mary and tommy chong the film features interviews sketches and never before
seen footage spanning the duo's five decade career the result is an unlikely story of friendship and
fame turmoil and defiance rebellion and ultimately redemption oh i bet tommy chong actually went to
jail remember for selling bongs in states that it was illegal yeah he went to prison i believe not
jail but prison yeah he did prison yeah and i also think there's a period where they didn't get along
with each other either yeah yeah well they've made amends that's excellent i'm going to definitely
see this and they're coming out teaching chong last movie i love that good so we have goonies
and now teaching chong this has been a great day i knew hey that's what i suggested we do tonight
oh you can't wait to okay um i have some ass paddling but let's take our second break before
we we're going to forget that damn thing okay all right we'll be ready well these are kind of time
sensitive so we need to get on with them so okay we'll be back yeah especially one yep all right
okay and now deep thoughts with mark
let me think here my car keys have actually traveled further than my car weird
weird
these guys are inviting as a used hypodermic theater
so
jim x what the hell happened you were the generation of change
you never wanted to be one of them at the feet spoke for you hunk the man hunk the system what
the hell happened the generation of angst the generation of non-compliance is now buying a boat
you're really fed up to kill someone dangle the dollar near you great job xers everything's ruined
me hey look i think we found land oh my god i think we're safe oh no it's the island of horrible
jokes
oh what did the coach say to the vending machine give me my quarterback
hey there fuckstick you're just in time for brand new feature news nobody gives a shit about
a belly dancer in spain belly dance for 48 hours beating the old world record by five hours
next time you take a dump listen to two douchebags and a microphone it's been proven in laboratory
rats to relax your anal canal get in cover
they about what's just happened you don't know what to do you don't know where to go
but we can tell you what you can eat
hi all this is mark here i'm usually the one telling you what to eat during an apocalypse
well this time i decided to go the other way you ever consider just going to ground zero and saying
fuck it do you really want to be the guy running around looking for radioactive deer
guessing whether water is not contaminated or not no food no shelter no nothing oh no there's a
strong argument that says you know what let's just go to crown zero and see what's for us after
just a thought our constant pursuit for a real knee slapper it's strange insults from an alien
and real you have the personality of a soggy newspaper
uh
two douchebags and a microphone coming at you from mid-america kansas city region and rob
uh campton missouri lake of the ozarks there you go mark and casey and robin camdenton lake of the
ozarks what a what a what a half hours apart yes but it doesn't stop us does it no it does not
this is our third time this week that's right we see no walls here at two douchebags and white
microphone no walls all right um here's uh ass pads as i have for those of you that don't know
and i um whoever it was it bitched i have to give out the origin of this because people are
going to go ass paddling with whatever okay so just still fast forward i don't know what the
fuck to tell you okay but you're going to hear it again okay um this all started a long time ago
tofer and i uh started this podcast a long time ago and rob was generous enough with his time
and his wit to uh to do um a good portion of them with me and hopefully sometimes with tofer so uh
tofer and i started this maybe third or fourth podcast in um about three years ago now so we're
walking down we're on vacation we're walking down yeah yeah i think so um yeah actually may it'll be
it'll be three years so we are yeah okay may it'll be two years with me yep yep yeah that's right may
will be three years all together for this here uh shit show and we're gonna have a huge party
and we're all gonna be naked and it's gonna be on video maybe okay maybe not um okay so we get there
by then yeah we'll see what happens that's contingent on everything um so we're we're um in
on florida we're in florida on vacation okay and we're walking down the beach uh sun rises coming up
you can see it golden you know on the horizon and the uh soft gentle wind was blowing our hair back
we're not holding hands like robin and the duke says his brother the duke um yeah wait till the
duke comes on air he's got some shit to say oh i imagine he does i imagine he does so but uh anyhow
uh we um we're walking along the beach and two men can have a tender moment without holding hands
despite what those two think so i tip my i trip over something i stub my toe on something it hurts
like hell i'm like ow and tofer looks back he goes uh look at that that looks like a genie bottle
i'm like oh that fucking is not and i walk over there go yeah that looks like a genie bottle he's
like no shit so i uh take the cork out sure enough a genie pops out he hated us he's real condescending
he's like all right we're like yeah we get three wishes and he goes no you know you watch too much
tv guys you watch way too much tv one wish one wish only so make it count maybe then to cancer
maybe world peace tolbert i looked at each other said we want to be invisible so we can ass paddle
each other other people the genie very reluctantly rolled his eyes and he said very well i have to
but you guys are morons so once a month we're allowed to turn invisible and he was the genie
was generous enough to let rob in on this too so us three get to uh go invisible and we get to paddle
people's asses that we deem necessary they need it and this is a replica of old sparky which is
hanging at cast well last i knew was hanging at a cast midway high school uh in the trophy section
right in the middle and old sparky was a mean mean paddle that son of a bitch touched me several
times and he had holes in it and he had a long stock that way you'd get plenty of air with those
holes in to just smash the hell out of your ass and it hurt and i still to this day feel that
stinging and burning for quite a while uh so this is a replica of old sparky all right all right so
the first one is the city of independence missouri for almost demolishing a house by accident did you
ever look at up rob no i did not but hey i'll give it to you it was literally like a foot away
they're taking down old water tower and and the footage before like oh yeah yeah you could just
sit yeah you sit on the porch and watch this it almost hits and those people are running off
diving off in their porch so anyhow all right next one chiefs offensive line matt nagy offensive
coordinator and offensive line coach all of them get ass paddlings yeah you gotta go there yeah
yeah yeah they have to um the next one is stewart from wichita he never did reply
okay yeah this is the one i've been waiting for yeah this is three weeks deep he never did get
back with he never got with us and we said after three weeks we're forced to uh take um shit i
forgot his name side because uh um we heard nothing from you stewart so you're getting
an ass paddling we're sorry we tried to work with you but that's the way it is so and that's
and that's and that's triple threat yes yeah this is an automatic destruction of the ass phase three
yeah yeah so you did not answer you did not answer nope that's a big no no in podcast land here so
all right now if you would have answered we would have went had to went to phase four yes we don't
know what the fuck would happen yeah we have our own little court system here and if you would have
come we may have said dynamite if your ass is up i don't know we might have if you were deemed
guilty of this but right now uh it was no contest so you're guilty and you're getting old sparky
we're bowering your ass yes phase three um all right the next one the guy that smacked eagles gm
in the head with a full beer can even though it's funny yeah yeah yeah yeah i gotta give the guy
just helps you win the guy just helped you win a super bowl and your thanks to him is smacking
him in the head with a full beer yeah exactly exactly sir you need an ass paddling and not
yesterday right now so um the next one delta airlines for flipping a plane over yes i'm going
there how the hell don't know have you seen the footage of that
yeah i have no nobody died so we can laugh about it so okay yeah yeah yeah yeah how the hell do you
flip the plane over delta did it delta did it yeah so therefore they get said ass paddling should we
do a phase three or we're just going to leave it as a regular uh we're just going to leave it a
regular you know what if they do another one they do in the future yeah if they if they have another
instant like this they don't keep going they may end up in the hall of fame they could very well
so all right the next one is every social security thief in america and there's a lot of them
according to elon musk so all you guys all you guys have been stealing checks allegedly are
getting ass paddling it's going to take a while but we'll get every one of you you know the ones
are getting uh uh uncle uncle jeb's one for 150 years old you guys are getting ass paddling
the next people to get ass paddling are the idiots that think one super bowl loss ruins my home's
legacy fucking idiots yeah fucking idiots what more can you say all right
all right that tells you right there they did not do their homework he'd been in the league seven
seven years the first year he was not a starter since then he became a starter the second year
he went to five out of six super bowls and won three of them
yeah you guys are just being bitches to be bitches so all right back to the beginning
concert for outrageous ticket prices really these are fans um there's a big there's a big hubbub
online by the way rob you started it the pay-per-view yeah people are going to have to come up
there's a paper for the pay-per-view i cannot afford to fly to bovingham england no that's why
they're supposedly there's a big thing uh they uh sent um uh they sent like some sort of a petition
to netflix trying to get netflix to carry it i i well i've been debating on joining netflix or not
seeing how wwe moved to netflix they're taking over i mean they're really doing well yeah netflix
is taking over i i think i might get a subscription and that would definitely do it netflix i want to
see ozzie on his last concert yeah yep so the next one sharon osborne for allowing this to happen
sorry sharon you should have you should be in more control of it you should be in more i know
i know it goes to charity yeah i know it goes to charity but you should have thought about the fans
that would love to see ozzie off you know and say hey thank you i get that it goes to well
i'm going to double up on sharon for not letting him do the uh
uh irish of the kurder band movie oh yeah yeah you know what that's right okay too yeah that's a
double he would have been great as a as a pirate oh my god he would have stole the show actually i
bet yeah yeah yeah who doesn't love him then you get to double in one night sorry sharon who doesn't
love trick or treat when he played a preacher that hated ozzie oh god yeah perfect and then they melt
the tv yes awesome yep so sharon you get to i still have i still have it on dvd oh i do too
i do too um should we uh watch it every halloween good man i watch it whenever i get a chance i love
it it's fantastic um should we put her in the hall of fame for this double dip or should we just
give her a good solid one and then just wait and see i say we wait till after the concert
see what happens okay all right right now she's getting a good solution then she'll be in triple
threat okay and then you might get the phase three and hall of fame you don't want that yeah you
don't want that no all right and finally parkinson's disease because it is a piece of shit
amen brother amen brother hall of fame phase three
amen yeah yep there's nothing more to say about that you know it takes a robust person
crisp mind happy and turns them into nothing it is horrible i've watched it far too much uh
too much uh hey can we add dementia in on that yes it's all connected uh dementia alzheimer's
parkinson's yes and rob that's kind of personal there you go all of them are in there and they get
phase three and they get hall of fame status so automatic automatic so that is the end of that
you got something you want to add to this rob we're getting on 9 22 i know 9 30 is your cut off
because he has to work in the morning yeah yeah i do um yeah i got one here all right uh two flight
attendants in south korean budget airline eastern jet are under investigation following an eyebrow
waving incident on the tarmac okay the crew members were caught on camera on february 12th
standing on a plane wing and taking photos
oh that would make me feel good at some international airport in north
korea kong kong providence whatever that sounds that sounds about right perfect yeah yeah actually
that yeah that's pretty much what it is yeah i kind of sound about here i'm gonna say they're
gonna get on to report or they will pull up from south korean network jtbc airline said the
attendants were taking a certification shot after an overnight exit training exercise
alone out over the emergency exit above the wing the flight was just was for jiu jiu island
about an hour fly away and was delayed over two hours due to snow the airline denounced the incident
in a statement
yeah yeah you denounced it in a statement yes so it was it was unofficial training the company said
it was inappropriate to climb on the wing of the plane yeah take a certification shot
yep i would agree with all that on january 13 south korea jtbc tv recording shocking news
yeah anyway because of the second thing but yeah these two gals climbed on the wing and started
taking selfies and somehow tried to cover it up as a training class and not only that but this
period in time you don't want to be doing anything weird on an airplane i'm sorry i mean
there's just been too many things happening yeah well see here the fact uh the korea air
air airports corporation the body responsible for managing the airport said it was not notified of
the training in advance it was an especially troubling incident yeah as song jiu whatever
is a military airport and military security facility which is strictly prohibited on top of
that there's no precedent for any kind of training like this to take place in an old airport ramp
yeah airplane is waiting okay um yeah yeah they got busted they straight up got busted i don't
want that kind of tom foolery tom vickery on an airplane uh that i'm getting ready to hop on and
go somewhere in yeah of course yeah okay uh well we're getting dangerously close to 9 30 so i think
we're going to put a bow on this pitch and call it good that sound that sound about right yeah yeah
well like me and mark talked about before the show we we started off trying to keep it about now
well i got the look and we're averaging like an hour and a half and we want to keep it for people's
right so you know well we know i think an hour and a half yeah they go back to us do a little extra
one of the problems is and it isn't a problem is we're having so much fun doing this that we
really don't we we miss breaks that we're supposed to be taking everything because we're too busy
you know that's what i was just with they say yeah we're we're enjoying ourselves yeah we
at least track it down yeah so we're going to try to keep it a little bit lower than an hour and a
half because the perfect according to and i also have this back up with other people that know
what they're talking about and besides our friend that does this type of work an hour hour and 10
minutes is the most you want to go with a podcast because most people listen to it and when they get
to their destination if they listen to you again on the way home or wherever they go to the next
podcast they usually don't revisit the same one this is research that they've been doing for a long
time now and that is what usually happens so they say about an hour is all you want to go on a
podcast so yeah well i have faith in our assholes we've been going an hour and a half and look how
strong we're going i know i think our listeners come back and we'll finish listening well a lot
of subjects i say we stick to an hour and a half that sounds good to me
all right okay thank you assholes for listening have a great night we appreciate you
good night assholes oh no looks like the show's over kids mark has explosive diarrhea and can't
afford a wireless mic fear not assholes they'll be back invading your ear holes soon