And now it's time for the daily dustbag pledge.
Two dustbags and a microphone pledge. I, Joe, or Jane listener hereby promise to
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listener hereby promise to lie to all my friends and tell them how good the show
is. And finally I, Joe, or Jane listener promise to visit Montrose, Missouri to
take advantage of the power plant, campgrounds, and junkyard all within its
quarter-mile radius.
Here at Two Dushbags and a Microphone we don't stand behind our journalistic
integrity. Go ahead and assume we got the story wrong. At least we admit it. Not
like all those other guys. We can and will lie if it makes the story better.
Two Dushbags and a Microphone. Hey everybody this is Uncle Rob. I'm gonna give you some tips for life.
This is Uncle Rob's Rules to Dick Picks. Rule number one. Title will pick someone
else's name. So if you get busted, it's not yours. Rule number two. Shoot angles
complementary to your length and girth. Rule number four. No propping of the way.
Absolutely no undercarriage. Very important.
Now, from his underground bunker camped in Missouri, stocked with dried guts, canned food, and a couple of vibrating toys, is Ramblings of a Madman featuring Rob Rant.
Taking coffee while taking a dump is like using starter fluid on a running motor.
Next up, Things Overheard in Hell.
Man, Axel Rose is such a great childhood therapist. I hope he writes more books.
Yes, it's true. Mark is an old bastard. It's also true that Mark uses a lot of ibuprofen.
But Mark would like to tell you, if you see any pictures of him roofing ibuprofen, it's obviously fake and you're to take the pictures and tear them up immediately.
And now, Deep Thoughts with Mark.
If I was to speak into a megaphone backwards, would it then sound like a whisper? I may never know.
Two douchebags and a microphone in an effort to keep everything fresh. We offer you first world problems.
What in the devil? My bank is really out of calendars. What do they expect me to do? Go to Walmart and buy a $3.00 calendar? This is complete bullshit. I am outraged.
As much fun as an electric can opener to the scrotum, two douchebags and a microphone.
Two douchebags and a microphone on Mark.
And I am Rob.
Tired like everybody else. But no, I'm doing alright.
I have one in base where I felt like I didn't get anything accomplished, which I hate.
Well, normally I come home feeling like I got things accomplished today, but one in base, I did not.
That's bad. That's bad. That's bad. I'm a good student, so we're good.
So, Rob, I saw where the forecast for the next few days, at least up here, and I think down there, of the week is cold and snow pretty much. Saturday now looks really concerning, at least up here with a combination of ice and a substantial amount of ice, followed with snow on top of it.
And we're going to get probably six, seven inches of snow tonight. It's sub-zero temperatures to follow the ice and snow coming up. And the thing is, Rob, here's what I do. I warn the people about claiming winter was over.
I have people right around me. Yeah, you know what I mean? They're pounding their chest going, ah, it's easy now. It's done. Worst part's over. And I'm like, shut up. Mother Nature hears you. She writes it down, and she comes back and kicks you right in the ass.
Agreed?
Yeah.
I mean.
Listen to that one podcast where you gave Mother Nature's ass-pies.
I didn't do it anymore.
I know. I stopped.
You may make your own. I will kick anybody's ass.
As soon as I've bitched about a couple of tornadoes the next night, she said, what, five of them?
Yeah.
It was like, oh, come on. I didn't really say anything bad.
Yeah. Anybody does it in my own off-the-shelf, Mother Nature. You're on out.
Oh, she carries a baseball bat. Yes, me too.
Because we all pay.
I mean, never fails. We get a week of above freezing temperatures, and people lose their fucking mind.
I mean, it's not like it's 80 degrees.
They're like, oh, it's 32 degrees. I can feel spring in there.
And I'm like, no, you're a fucking idiot. You don't feel spring in there.
What you feel is a little bit warmer, but not cold, not hot.
Yeah, I mean, come on. I still got three layers on at that temperature.
Yeah, me too.
So, OK, so we had the Super Bowl. I'm not going to go into the game quite yet.
What I'm saying is this right here.
They had a high temperature of 86 the day of the Super Bowl.
It was an all-time high for that day of the year, February 9th, I believe it was, 86 degrees.
Now, OK, that was a new record high for that day in February.
The weather didn't matter. It was in a dome.
But remember two weeks ago when they had that nine and a half inches of snow?
Yeah.
Imagine if that would have hit two weeks later instead of when it did during the Super Bowl.
They would have had to cancel. Well, they wouldn't cancel it.
They would have had to move the game somewhere else.
You know, there's no way.
Yeah, because I'm not talking about the people coming in from Kansas City
or the people coming in from Philadelphia. They all know how to drive in snow. OK.
But the people down there do not.
And I know they're bothered.
They were borrowing equipment from Arkansas, but you still have enough snow on the side streets
and even on the freeways hitting patches of ice.
People don't understand it, you know, and if they don't understand it,
they're liable to drive poorly on it and, you know, and then clog up everything.
So they would have just had to move the Super Bowl somewhere else.
So they're extremely lucky. I mean, just a matter of two weeks
and it's 86 degrees from after snowing nine and a half inches.
All time high for New Orleans.
So an all time record snow and an all time record heat.
All within two weeks.
And everybody asked why they had every Super Bowl in a dome. That is why.
A dome or a warm weather stadium that doesn't garner too much rain.
Most of them are domes.
Yeah, yeah, most of them are domes if they can help it.
So I have been in New Orleans around 10 years.
I've been meaning to go. We both have been meaning to go,
but we just end up going somewhere else.
You know, the crime in New Orleans is horrible.
We had a local newscaster for Telemundo go down there
and he was going to cover the Chiefs game, but he ended up getting murdered.
Oh, sure.
Did you hear anything about that? I guess not.
Yes, yes. No, no, no. Yes, I did. Yes, I did.
I read a couple of reports about that, yes.
It seems like some chick was going around drugging guys and stealing.
Yeah, yeah.
And maybe they're spent and all that. I don't know.
They haven't released the whole details.
Yeah, they had her on footage going into the room with him and then
he said, now, later.
Yeah. So, you know, crimes always – look, Kansas City is not good.
Kansas City is horrible.
But New Orleans, they know – I mean, I remember when we very first went to New Orleans
years ago, probably 12 years ago, the first time Val never went.
And we're on Toulouse and I showed her where one of the bars was at that we really liked,
the Dungeon. It was a really cool bar.
And I go, all right, we're getting ready to hit Bourbon Street.
Everything was OK. Jefferson, nothing really, you know, pretty tame.
I said, Bourbon Street, this is where all of the tourists go.
And I said, the two things going on right now – and as soon as I told her what one of the first things was,
it happened to us, I told her, I said, a couple of 12-year-old boys usually run straight into you
when you try to grab your bags because that's your first instinct.
They grab your purse or take your wallet.
They run into an alley, close.
You go in there after them and then they beat the shit out of you and they take everything else you have.
Car keys, hotel key, whatever. They take all of it, passports, all that stuff.
And as soon as we turned the corner, I told her about that, 12-year-old boys come in and run straight into us.
I was ready for it. Val didn't drop her bag. She was holding tight. I was very proud of her.
She was like, ah. But, I mean, it was so quick that it couldn't register what I said until afterwards.
I'm like, ah, I suck a bitch. That's what I was talking about right there.
Well, me, I have a dummy wallet whenever I go to New Orleans in my back pocket.
I have a money clip with everything important in it in my hand.
They have to pry it out of my hand to get it from me.
And I've been doing this ever since a good friend of mine got ripped off.
A couple of girls started dancing with him and grinding on him.
And he was like, hey, hey, I'm lucky. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then about a walk later, he goes, that fucking bitch.
He started running and I'm like, oh shit.
That's a good thing.
Yeah, they stole his wallet. Yeah, he had to cancel everything and we're getting ready to jump on a cruise.
It was really horrible.
Well, I'm guessing that this stuff I need to rip up.
With all that going on, I'm guessing Louisiana is not a concealing case.
I don't think so. I do believe it is a democratic controlled state.
And I'm not saying anybody's right or anybody's wrong.
So don't anyone freak out on that.
I'm just saying that they probably...
You better protect yourself out there.
Yes, and I agree with that too.
That's my personal feeling.
Everyone else is welcome.
Yeah, yeah, that's personal feeling. Anyway.
So it happens to us and they tried to get my wallet, but they couldn't get it out of my pocket.
I felt them graze it and try to get it out of there, but it's too much trouble.
And by that time, people started noticing because the first thing I started doing was screaming because that's what you do.
You go, ha ha ha, and just start going nuts like you're about ready to die or something.
Bring as much attention to yourself as you can.
And that freaks them out because most people are like, huh.
But they couldn't get either one of us.
They didn't get Val. She held on to her stuff, which was amazing because most women dropped their bag and tried to pick it back up.
And then they steal your purse because it's on the other side of your shoulder and you're not paying attention to it.
Well, they didn't get her.
And then they tried to get me and they didn't get me either.
And I said, that's what I'm talking about right there.
So then I was getting ready to tell her about the homeless people on each side of the road.
There's a gang of them, like seven or eight on one side, seven or eight. And they probably do something different now.
But this is what they did when we were going there and the first time that Val went there.
And I go, what they do is they start waving at each other and you're in the middle of the road walking down Bourbon there on each side.
And they start talking and they converge on you and you're in the middle of it.
But people think it's just a group of people talking to another one and meeting in the middle.
And then the people in the middle beat the hell out of you, take your stuff and they all split in different ways.
So you don't know who to go after and you can't go after everybody anyhow.
And if you did, they're probably waiting for you there too.
And I was getting ready to tell her about that and all of a sudden they started doing that.
And I'm like, what the fuck?
And I started screaming and fucking pointing at them going, get the fuck out of here.
And they fucking left because you commanded attention by crazy actions and that works better than anything.
You act like you're a psychopath and everybody around there is looking at them.
And next thing you know they all turn around the other way and leave.
So we do that growing up again, really.
Oh yeah, yeah, you do that. You draw attention to yourself.
Yeah, crazy, it draws attention.
And then usually even the criminals are like, what the? I ain't going to go to somebody who just lays down.
This guy's nuts.
So there's too many guns now though.
I mean when we were growing up there were guns to dodge moves.
Yeah, someone just capped you and go, shut up.
Now I'm an old man, I want to protect myself.
Yeah, me too. It's like that's alright. You know what? You have your young fists.
I'm good with putting on old gets to people.
I have a couple pieces of lead that says you're going to fucking go away.
So there you go.
Hey, I like to be shooting here. That's all I want to do.
No, no, no, you don't have to kill him. I mean, but here's the deal though.
Like a cop told me a long time ago and this was in Cleveland, Missouri, small town.
And he said, here's the deal. He said, if you ever pull out a gun, you fucking use it.
I'm like, I was younger and I go, what do you mean by that?
He goes, because they're going to kill you if they get a chance.
If they have a gun and you put that thing down, you're dead.
They're blowing holes in you because you took out a gun.
He also told me if somebody's on your front step and they're giving you some sort of shit
and acting all mean and shady towards you or trying to break in,
you shoot them on your front step and you take them into your front door and you throw them down right there.
And then he said, we are sorry because I was just thinking that I was just getting ready to add that I've had a lot of
cash standing cops in the past tell me that.
Allegedly all of this, okay.
Yeah, yeah, they told me to say, take him out on the fourth street after you.
Just make sure that you drag him inside the door.
He said, we're a small town and we don't have the budget to investigate.
So the dead man can't talk, but you can. So it's case closed.
Well, actually, at that point, I kind of took it as that was kind of a little cool.
It's an inside, it's an inside iggy.
It was this fast town. Anywhere you go, just drive and you're good to go.
Yeah, yeah, it was like an inside iggy.
And if you're cool with the cops, they let you know.
And another little secret, like my Westport days, you got to know all the bicycle cops.
And then there's some of them that we're driving around, but it's real crowded there.
You got to know them all and you got to be friends with them.
And so they're usually one somebody that your friends with are coming to the altercation because sooner or later,
someone's going to be a dickhead to you and you're going to have to blast them in the face because they're drunk and being stupid.
So when this fight breaks out and the cops come, your friend usually goes, I got this guy.
He takes you around the corner and cuss and he lets you go. He says, go the fuck home.
Now, if you don't know them, you're going to jail.
Yeah, that was another little iggy, too.
I was I was I was privy to that because a friend of mine used to cause quite a bit of trouble there.
A little bitty little Irish guy, a little skinny little guy.
He looked like the pugilistic Notre Dame fighting guy. He did.
He looked just like him.
And he couldn't fight his way out of a paper bag, but he would love to start shit and he loved to get his ass kicked.
He loved to get his ass kicked. My God, he would jump up.
He's like, I don't know, maybe five foot.
He jumped up fucking six foot with his little tiny fist trying to hit you.
It was really comical. I wish there was a lot of video back then.
They say dynamite comes with small bodies. Look at me.
Yeah, that's true. You know, but this guy, he had the balls the size of fucking Texas,
but he had the fighting strength of, I don't know, a fucking hamster.
But he didn't stop it.
Yeah, that's where we get them.
Well, he took he took pride in coming home all black and blue.
Yeah, this guy come in the bar, big son of a bitch.
And I told him, fuck you to his face.
And most people be like, no, I was there many times.
You pick out the biggest guy, just go fuck you.
Yeah, you fucking push him. Come on, bitch.
And the big guy's like, get out of here.
Man, I don't want to fuck with you. You're like three foot tall.
Get the hell out of here. And he wouldn't leave him alone.
And he get his ass kicked.
Anyhow, I had a bunch of his stuff.
And when I was moving, I told him, I said, come get your fucking suitcase.
I don't have a suitcase there.
You left it here. You were moving and you told me to hold on to it, dickhead.
No, I didn't.
Okay. Well, whoever bought my house, I don't know what they did with it.
They probably burned it, but there's some cool shit in there.
There's like old punk rock stickers and all kinds of stuff.
Gone now.
So, or I don't know, maybe the guy stuck in on it.
Nah, he was a country guy that bought my house.
He probably burned it.
Hell is this shit. I don't want it.
This ain't Willie Nelson. Fuck it. I'm going to burn it.
So anyhow, so yeah, I have been in New Orleans a long time, but I was thinking, man,
there used to be this guy at the French market.
I told you about him personally, but I don't think I ever told it on this show.
But he took, there's this place called the Auditorium in New Orleans for years.
It's gone now.
But they had many, many famous concerts in the 60s and 70s.
And he had all the original ticket stuff.
He was an old black man, but he loved rock music.
Yeah, yeah, you told me about Chris. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. And he would print off the t-shirts at the French market.
And I got like a Jimi Hendrix from him. I got a Led Zeppelin from him.
I got a Deep Purple.
It's cool shit. Really, really cool shit.
And anyhow, I was like, the other day I was thinking about him.
I'm like, man, I haven't been there in probably 12 years. He was old then.
So he was probably 70 then.
So if he's still around, I don't think he's doing it anymore.
But I looked online everywhere. You can't even find him online.
I mean, people just don't do him.
He had the original concert ticket stubs. He had them in a case.
And you walk up there and go, wow.
Hey, I like this Jimi Hendrix, this one right here, the first one at the Coliseum, not the one over there, whatever.
Oh, yeah, yeah. And then he would have them down there folded up and go, okay, it's number 12.
What size? I'll take double X.
Okay, here you go. And he would have them all right there, all printed out.
The only problem was he only printed them on white shirts and their black stencil.
But it was cool enough to where you bought it, though.
Right, right, right, right.
Yeah, and it also was a signature, too.
You know, it was a signature, a white shirt, black writing of concert stuff.
Yeah, that was, I forgot his name. I used to have his card.
It is somewhere around here and I need to find it just so I could just look at it and go, wow, that guy was cool.
Because it had a picture of him smiling on it and he had a couple of gold rimmed teeth.
He had big, thick glasses, a big smile, and he has a thumbs up.
And it's like, I don't know, it's something like, literally like Willie's or I don't know, something like that.
Willie's shirts or something like that.
Willie's concert tees or something like that.
That was the name of his business.
And his business card had a picture of him with a thumbs up and a couple of gold teeth in front.
He was just cool. He was fucking cool.
And the cool thing is you can have a real concert shirt not like these fucking ACDCs and Metallicas and Guns N' Roses that the Karens and Kens wear.
The ones that used to listen to fucking Bow Wow Wow and fucking Thompson Twins that never would touch that stuff back then, right?
You know?
I don't know who the Bow Wow Wow is.
Yeah, I don't know. I pulled that out of my ass, though.
Bow Wow Wow and Thompson Twins, right? Oh my God, they're reading today.
Yeah, so anyhow, fuck, sorry, I'm derailed now.
I'm talking about the fucking people that never listened to that stuff back in the day, but now they're wearing it shirt and they act like they listen to it the whole time.
It's like, wait a minute, dickhead, I knew you back then.
You made fun of me. You made fun of people like me.
We were fucking rogues. We were fucking idiots. We were going to every time you came over, you're casing their house out.
Their parents didn't want you there. You know, all that stuff.
And then now you're wearing a fucking Guns N' Roses shirt. Get out of here.
You never touch night train.
I know exactly what you're talking about.
Yeah, I want to take a night train bottle and smack it in the head.
I know people want to do that.
No, no, no, we all do. We all do. And that's why I'm saying it.
People right now envision someone they know. Uh huh.
Yeah, I know that fucking.
And anyhow, I want to take a bottle of night train and say, prove to me, prove to me, you listen to them.
Okay, how do I do that? Drink this bottle of night train.
Huh? Drink it. You fucking drink it.
And I believe you listen to Guns N' Roses, Metallica and all that stuff.
That stuff's gross. Get out of here.
You're a fucking liar.
You'd be like, get out of here. You're a liar. You won't touch it.
A real freak.
No, I know, but you make sure that they do.
Like, hey, you drink this.
Yeah, I know you're going to hate it. Everybody hated it. But you drank it because it got, it was a bullet train.
You know, you weren't taking the fucking, you weren't taking the slow taxi on the slow lane.
You were on the bullet train.
I mean, you know, you drank night train. You were fucking here to there in no time.
You're drinking beer.
Yeah, a few hours later, like, I better, I better level up a little bit because this just ain't quite doing it.
You level up a little bit. A night train will take care of all of it.
If you want to get from here to there like that, it takes, I don't know, about half bottle, right?
Yeah.
I was a small guy, dude. They didn't take me that much, but you know what? I'm only a two big boy.
You hung with us. You did. You did.
And actually, you were one of the guys that knew when to stop and knew how to handle your alcohol.
And everybody that was around knows what I'm talking about.
Including my brother. I mean, you know, he's no longer with us here, but you know,
he was one of them that did not know when to stop.
And he would get you in some predicaments.
Yeah, I could still have a, I could drink with all you guys all night long, but...
Oh, man. Do you remember that one time?
I haven't been in the brain. I didn't know what not to do or what to do.
Remember that one time he had us meet us, meet him at some bar out in Kansas?
And it's kind of like a biker bar. And we'll get there and he's fucking running out of there.
He goes, open the door. Open the door. He jumps in back and goes, go, go, go.
And then we're all just...
I was mad about that.
I never did figure out...
Well, we should tell this to him a long time ago.
Well, he never could tell me what he did. He never could tell me. He didn't remember.
Oh, really?
Yeah, but we showed up right at the right time.
Yeah, yeah. We picked him up. We were there and we got him.
Yeah.
And then, yeah, we were...
Yeah, he was like a second-westerner.
So, maybe we'd grab a flyer and the people chased him.
Yes, they were extremely irritated at him for some reason.
And he puked. I believe it was your car, wasn't it?
Yeah, yeah.
He vomited all over that son of a bitch.
It was my 15.
Okay, yes.
It was the same way I just did about 5 miles going down the highway.
Yeah, near Harrisonville.
You guys are really gay?
You and Meera are like, no.
John's like, only me.
And then he grabs his knee.
You're about 5'30".
Everybody was going down memory lane right now.
Yeah, yeah, sorry. You hadn't been there, really.
And we're going like 40 mile an hour.
He opens up the door and jumps in a ditch to get away from us.
And we're all like, what the fuck? What the hell?
You slam on your brakes, he gets up and we're like, okay, he's alive, he's okay.
And we took off.
You were right.
Oh, I was, that's right.
Yeah, because I was too damn drunk.
So I had to grab my car.
That's right.
And then we were at the Taco Bell.
That's right.
And I remember that we were at the Taco Bell in Harrisonville.
That's right.
And we were at the
Yeah, I remember that.
Yeah, I mean, here's the deal, man.
There's like a lot of easy chicks in Harrisonville.
It was a great destination after having a few drinks.
It's kind of like, man, where do we go to find chicks?
Harrisonville.
Okay, where do we go to find easy chicks?
This is second A.
Yeah, yeah, I don't know what it's like now.
Except for that fucking fireplace statue.
Other than that, I don't know.
So that fucking fireplace statue is got to go.
And people have said they're going to help me.
They need to put that police memorial there and tear that son of a bitch.
I'll tear it up.
You know that.
Yeah, they need to like put up a statue.
I'll tear it up with my friend, Amber.
Yeah, I mean, they have a, I've been bitching about this on several podcasts.
But in case you don't know, they had a tribute to the burnt district.
And this basically, long story short, Bushwhackers, Jayhawkers, Civil War.
Bushwhackers burnt Lawrence, Kansas down.
That was the Jayhawkers.
They were looking for revenge.
So they burnt everything around them to see them coming to come back to give us revenge.
They call that the burnt district.
Cass County wanted to put in a tribute to the burnt district.
And what do they do?
They put in a fucking fireplace.
A giant fireplace.
So me and some other people are threatening to tear that bitch down.
We hate it.
It's stupid.
So anyhow, it should not humanly bother me this much, but it does.
So they need to put him out at fucking Samuel P. fucking Elmer or something.
Whoever one of the heroes was.
And he put him up there in his fucking hat and his fucking musket, okay?
Not a fireplace.
So anyhow.
All right.
I wasn't going to that.
So anyhow.
So he's going to Taco Bell.
That's right.
So anyhow.
What the fuck are we talking about?
Yeah, we were talking about how those boys jumped out of the car and went out the roof.
I still remember that.
They said their names.
They grew up gay.
Yeah.
We were just talking about, we weren't gay.
Yeah, and then John goes, I am.
Or something like that.
He puts his hand on his knee.
All of a sudden I hear the door open and I don't see the guy anymore.
And I'm like.
Well, that's just because I was watching.
John was in the back seat next to me.
And as we were all talking, John was seated a little closer to me.
And then he had a safe escort.
And right before he jumped out the door, John reached out and turned his arm around me.
Okay, okay.
And John was not gay.
John was screwing with a guy.
He was not gay.
He was screwing with a guy.
He was my brother.
And he used to do stuff like that.
We were like, we may say, me and Mark were in the front seat with all of us around each other.
Yeah, and then he goes, are you guys gay?
And then he goes, we were all gay.
Well, we told him we weren't.
We were just going down the highway.
You and I, I believe, we were like, he was getting nervous.
So you and I were like, we're not.
We're just playing around.
Yeah, yeah.
We were just having fun.
And then John, I guess.
And then John turns it on.
Yeah.
And then he goes, oh my God, dude.
You see, I saw him getting nervous.
I'm like, okay, this has got to stop it.
John had a couple too.
And he was carrying it a little too far.
And the guy flipped out.
He jumped out of the car.
But he was okay.
I saw him get up.
And he saw me stop.
He started turning around in the other way.
Yeah, he was so glad we made it to a 35 mile an hour.
Yeah, if not, I don't know.
Yeah, basically.
Yeah.
So anyhow.
And they would never believe he jumped on his own accord.
They would think we'd done it.
We did.
Yeah.
So anyhow.
But yeah, that story about New Orleans.
Yeah, that was a fun night.
It was a good all day.
We got a lot more to talk about tonight.
Now, and I wanted to say, New Orleans, I was getting to the Chiefs.
I support the Chiefs.
I love the Chiefs.
They lost.
I don't care.
They've been five years out of six years to the Super Bowl.
They won three of them.
That's a 650 average.
Take that to baseball, and no one's ever done that.
So I'm telling you, if you look at Tom Brady's career, he is exactly the same right now.
Five Super Bowls, won three, lost two.
OK, so I'm not ashamed of that one bit.
And we are not out of the fight yet.
We still have a superior team.
Vegas already have us as the odds on favorite to win the next Super Bowl.
We're not going away.
I support the Chiefs.
I love you guys.
So anyhow, and the rest of the world can fuck off.
You guys are idiots.
Yeah, well, just personally, I'm happy they lost.
Personally, I am happy they lost.
You know, Mark, I told you.
Yeah, yeah, and I get it, and I see what you're saying.
My son, they had the Super Bowl, posted on Facebook, that if the Chiefs lost, he would ask his girlfriend to marry him.
He is now engaged.
I love that because he didn't think the Chiefs were going to lose, did he?
Well, no, but it wasn't until like the first quarter he was going, well, I'm going to go find a ring.
And he said, I'm ready.
The first quarter he was looking on Amazon for an appropriate ring, wasn't he?
First quarter.
Oh, no, no, it was cute.
It was cute, man.
Cool.
That's excellent.
This happened the day of the Super Bowl, so he did not have a ring.
No, I know, I was joking around because the Chiefs lost so quickly.
And he was talking about if they would win, that when they lost, he had to hunt down a ring.
No, that's what I was saying.
I was joking around saying he was looking on Amazon after the first quarter because they were already down like somebody did nothing.
No, he went into after the game.
No, I know, I was joking around.
Yeah, well, no, no, I'm not joking.
What he did was he grabbed one of the mini donuts.
Okay.
Seriously, seriously, this is no joke.
No, I believe he got one of those mini donuts.
And he got a ring to put on.
And it was cool, man.
It was cool.
Well, congratulations to you.
And that's my son.
He said he's going to do it, he does it.
This is Rob Jr., right?
Uh, Bub.
Bub, okay.
He's not his junior, we have different middle names.
Okay, okay, okay, he's got your first name and that's it.
I wouldn't do that to myself.
Okay, okay.
I don't even think I know your middle name, but you don't have to say it because it doesn't sound like you like it.
I'm not.
Okay, I got it.
Anyhow, we have some emails.
We have some really good ones.
Anyhow, what I was wanting to say, this, I had a big old thing on the chiefs.
I was like, why?
Okay, look, they got their ass pummeled.
End of story.
Cancel Christmas, pharmacy closed, all that.
Matt Nagy, we can only hope gets a head coaching gig because I think he can go fuck up another team.
Travis Kelsey, please retire before you ruin your legacy.
We love you.
You did everything you could.
You're getting older.
You can't really do it anymore.
Get out of here.
Go have your life.
Go enjoy your wife, your wife to be or whatever, you know, if you marry her.
Go have some children.
Go love life.
Go, go to Broadway.
Go whatever you need to do.
Okay, we love you.
You did your time here.
Uh, Mahomes, your footwork is an issue now.
You need to figure it out.
Well, you need to have people work with you.
They had it figured out for a while.
The offensive line should wear a dress all off season.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, the offensive line just did not show up.
That's the only part.
I do not interfere in sports fasts, but I am going to say this.
Come on, Keith, that offensive line was not there.
Patrick Mahomes was on his ass most of the day.
You can't throw a bowl laying on the ground.
Yeah.
Yeah, I was listening to 1935 KMS down here today, and this sports guy was talking, and
he brought up a good point.
We did not do any trick plays.
We didn't have time to.
Okay, well, another good point he brought up.
We never went for a field goal.
We never kicked.
Never.
Yeah, and that's because when you get behind by 20 right off the bat, you're not kicking
field goals.
Yeah, I was three, twelve, you know.
Here's another thing to think about, too.
I understand.
They got one first down in the first half.
They had 18 yards passing in the first half.
They had four yards rushing.
It wasn't happening.
Nothing was happening.
They were pummeling us on their defense or offensive line.
Like I said, they need to wear a dress all off season to remind them what pussies they
were.
So anyhow, like I said, I'm not mad.
I'm not mad.
Okay, but anyhow, I had a couple more things I want to say real quick, and then we'll move
on.
We'll go to our break, and then we'll come back with more stuff.
Okay.
This time the Chiefs need to draft better on the offensive line.
The offensive line looked like a fucking clown circus.
They got schooled.
I blame the huge majority of this solely on the offensive line.
Mahomes needs to take a little blame as well.
You throw the ball away.
Throw away the fucking ball.
Don't throw it in coverage.
Defense.
You guys need a couple of key players in there.
We had to give up Snead, and it was glaringly obvious against a really good opponent.
You guys have done good all year.
This one you got stiffed a couple of times, but I do think that the interceptions of Pick
6 and then the one on the 20-yard line of ours really kind of hurt their cause.
But they still got burnt quite a bit.
It didn't look like they were prepared for the short pass that they were doing to Barkley.
So, you know, anyhow, you know, I still love my Chiefs, but the facts are the facts.
I think the Chiefs will build on the draft and possible free agency.
I think that they need some players to defer their salaries and make more cap room.
And, you know, I'm looking for the Chiefs to rebound and be the same as they are.
And that's going to be probably the best team in the AFC.
And we'll take our chances in the Super Bowl again.
So thank you, Chiefs. I love you.
I am not, I am not, I mean, I'm disappointed because we lost, but how can I be angry?
My God, these guys have gave us the best entertainment the last six years.
They've been on top of everything.
They've won huge games. They've won close games.
They've won skin-in-the-nuts games. They won blowouts.
They are incredible. Love you guys.
Don't ever quit being what you are, but you will.
You'll eventually, everyone ages and it will stop.
But thank you, Chiefs, and I'm behind you more than ever.
And fuck the media, fuck the national media, and fuck everybody else in the world that has all these stupid conspiracy.
Oh my God, it's the refs. Suck my dick.
You can't handle it. Fucking Kansas City is better than you.
That's the fucking problem. You don't like flyover, fucking kicking your ass.
Well, there's more of it coming, so get fucking used to it.
East, West Coast, suck it.
Anyhow, Rob, do you want to come back and you talk or you want to talk right now?
Well, let's take a break after that.
You know what, that's a good idea.
Why, why?
Oh my God, yeah, I didn't even have any Red Bull. What the hell?
All right, be right back after these.
Two Dish Bags and Microphone is the only podcast available anywhere with Gusto.
That's right, I said Gusto.
Gusto is a magical ingredient in Schlitzbeer that makes it so damn delicious.
So enjoy a little Gusto with your podcast today.
And now, for the brand new feature, Strange Insults from an Alien.
May you always step in a wet spot after putting on fresh socks.
Have you ever wondered what something is about?
Have you ever looked at something and said,
Hey, I wonder what the origin of that is?
Well, so have we. That's why we give you The Origin of...
The Origin of Lysol
Lysol first came to prominence after it was used in Hamburg, Germany
to help combat cholera epidemic in the late 19th century.
It was later touted as a way to fight the devastating flu epidemic of 1918.
An ad in the Los Angeles Times that year said, help your health board conquer Spanish influenza by disinfecting your home.
Strange, but true.
A 9,000 year old skeleton was found in a cave in Cheddar, England and was nicknamed Cheddar Man.
His DNA was tested and it was concluded that a living relative was teaching history one half mile away,
linking back 300 generations.
Hey there, fuckstick. You're just in time for brand new feature news nobody gives a shit about.
At any given airport, at any given 60 seconds, you're actually breathing in at least three farts.
Hey, look. I think we found land. Oh my God, I think we're safe.
Oh no! It's the island of horrible jokes.
A skeleton walks into a bar. He says, hey bartender, I'll have one beer and a mop.
I smell bacon. No wait, it's just Mark sweating.
Now it's time for pick up lines from a loser.
Can you take me to the hospital? I just broke my leg falling for you.
Your mom is so scatterbrained. It took her two hours to watch 60 minutes.
Rob? Hi Mark. You said you wanted train quality.
I thought it hung up on you like it does so many times and I'm talking to you and you're not there.
No, no, no. I was talking about you. You said hi Mark.
You want train quality, you got train quality.
You're right. Thank you Rob. So now we turn to Rob after all of that.
So please, after I derailed this fucking thing, bring it back. Appreciate it and thank you.
Well, I'm going to bring I, the lake of the river.
Fair enough.
You know that they show Ozark's law on A&E?
I haven't watched it yet, but yes I am familiar and I am about to.
The important thing is I was here and I haven't because I don't have A&E on my screen.
I wonder if I could, I don't know.
Maybe I could send you.
No, I know I was trying to think of how I could send you my TV, but I think it goes by zip code.
Forget it.
But anyway, this story, and this is a story that I don't know in the future you might see this on Ozark Rob.
Okay.
This is stupid criminal freighter.
Okay.
Okay. Two men were charged with drug possession after officers said they interrupted canine training to ask directions.
Mm hmm.
Okay.
This is interesting.
The Department said that some of the officers along with other county sheriff's deputies and mid-majority multi-jurisphic drug task force members were taking part in the training.
Uh huh.
The documents state that a white sedan pulled into the parking lot and stopped.
There were two men in the car and one asked and also took a direction to a safe beach.
When he was told he was in a safe beach, the driver then asked them directions to the right.
The documents state that the law enforcement officers had seen the two men in the car were under the influence of some sort of stimulus.
The task force officers, Bay Newman's canine, Tina, all of these men were dragged into the vehicle, officers found a small glass container with about two grams of methamphetamine inside the car.
The last two men charged driver Aaron C. Reagan, 27, a Sullivan, not even from around here, with possession of controlled substance and driving while we're both.
They charged Alan M. Richards with possession of a controlled substance.
Uh huh.
This, this is stuff, truth is always stranger than fiction.
This is why they say that.
They came out at 9.55 at a safe beach city hall at police depot and asked them directions to a safe beach during canine training.
Ozark RAW is what this is on, right?
Well, no, no, it's not on Ozark RAW, but I pray to God they caught this on camera and put it on there.
Oh, I hope so too.
It would be like you have a photo op.
Mm hmm.
Only maybe a little bit better if I dare say.
Except for the down off it, man.
Oh my gosh.
That makes sense.
They would not even have driven around here.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, that's no incrimination on us.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Thank you for clarifying that.
That was not locals.
No, they were not locals.
There were two guys.
Look at that.
Look at that, Eddie.
Wow.
All I can say is truth is always stranger than fiction because people do stuff like that.
That's the bottom line.
You can't explain it, you don't know why, but they do.
And I want to say it's everywhere.
It is, it is.
And dumbasses are hatched all over the world every day, every minute.
That's just all there is to it.
It can be hatched in the east, it can be hatched in the west, it can be in the north, the south, or in the middle.
Nobody is immune from dumbasses, right?
Yeah.
Everybody has a few of them in their life.
Everyone has ones they run into every day.
All we can do is keep our head down and hope they don't hang around.
That's it.
I got some emails.
Hey, sounds good.
There are some good ones here.
Okay, yeah, and after that we got something we have to tend to.
Okay.
Ronnie sent a list.
Yeah.
But I can't find it.
I will.
What did we ask him?
Oh, his top songs or something?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, well I sent an email.
I will.
It is on there.
And he doesn't.
I sent him an email letting him know ahead of time that it was coming up.
And he sent me a reply.
I can find it.
I got it on my email, but I can find it.
But the pro...oh, here it is, top seven songs ever.
Okay, we'll do that next.
Or after your next story.
Okay.
Okay, and then you have a top list of yourself, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
This is my...I need to catch up with my music group.
Okay, we'll do both of them here in a little bit.
So right now I'm going to go to emails and then we can figure all that out in a minute.
That sound good?
Sounds good.
All right.
First one.
Mark, I know it's parody, but you're sick.
I looked up the term boofing and this is what I eventually found.
Boofing is a slang term for inserting drugs or alcohol into your anus to produce a more immediate high
or avoid risks of other methods of administration.
Disgusting, but I'm still listening.
Chris in Miami.
If that's short for Chris...
Do you like singing, Nick?
I might know this person.
I'm going to have to send him something back anyhow.
I'm going to stay off of that right now.
Okay.
Next one.
Rob, have you ever boofed anything?
Chris in Miami.
Hell no.
I haven't either.
I have not either.
I am ex-domo.
Yes, and if you see any pictures or video of me boofing Ibuprofen, they're fake.
They're obviously fake.
I don't even do anything.
See?
And I still contend if you see any pictures or videos of me boofing Ibuprofen, they're obviously fakes.
You grab them and you turn them up.
They're false.
Yeah.
Okay, next one.
Hey man, Ronnie is cool, but I'm a fan that listens in Tulsa also.
I want to know what your favorite job ever...
What was your favorite job ever?
Mike in Tulsa.
I guess we can answer.
You want to answer right now?
And his name is Tulsa Prince.
Mike in Tulsa, Tulsa Prince.
Tulsa Prince.
Well, we'll see about that.
You've got to prove yourself.
Okay, can you think of one on the spot?
Your favorite job ever.
Yes.
Yeah, I can.
Okay, do that and I'm going to try to think of mine.
Honestly, my job right now is my all-time favorite.
But before now, my all-time favorite was actually death is death.
Back when me and Mark met, which here is just a couple short weeks, will be 40 years.
That's in my top, but I got one that I remember just now.
I only did it for three months.
Okay, I handed out maps of the ski resort in Colorado.
I had access to a free bar every night.
Yes, I had access to a free bar every night, a huge fireplace in the commons area, a luxury room, and free food.
I got recalled from the layoffs, so I had to go back or kick down the union possibly.
So that was my best job ever until I had another job and I had to go to it.
So yeah, that was cool.
I forgot all about that.
It was in Breckenridge.
It was fantastic.
And I knew a friend of a friend that did some construction work up there.
And he sent me, well, he didn't send it.
He called me and said, hey, this place is looking for a map hander outer and I know you just got laid off.
And I was like, huh, really?
I had nothing going on here.
So I took a chance and I drove all the way there and applied and I got it.
And I stayed there for three months until I got recalled.
That was excellent.
Gosh, that was a fun, fun job.
And man, the hot chicks and their tights coming up, you're handing out maps.
How the hell are you?
Hey, can you have this complimentary map?
And also I had to tell them they get a free drink at seven o'clock.
It's happy hour.
If you're there at seven, you get a free drink and everything else is half price.
So you knew where they were later.
So the next one, Mark, did you ever hang out at the gas station at the corner of Commercial and Two Highway?
I remember you, I'm sure.
Joe in Michigan.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure I did.
I mean, those are like after we were like probably leaving a party.
I know that station.
Yeah, you were probably with me, Rob.
Yeah.
Joe in Michigan.
I would think that Joe was from.
Well, my grandfather's father was just out two highway outside of Harrisville.
Okay.
Joe in Michigan, I assume he used to live in Harrisville.
Yeah, I probably was there a few times because we used to meet up there and get stuff to eat and drink.
After a good night of roaming.
So yeah, that was probably me.
I hope you had good memories of me.
I hope I wasn't a dick or something.
So yeah, Joe, that's me.
And however you found the podcast, thank you.
In Michigan?
Yeah, thank you.
Thanks.
I don't know how people find it, honestly.
I mean, we don't really advertise.
Next one.
We got somebody out there, right?
I know.
They're yet to reply.
I hope they listen to it and reply.
I really want to know where they were.
So anyhow.
I would.
You're right.
They're somewhere in the middle of the nation.
They were the things.
Yeah.
Fucking awesome.
So anyhow.
Okay.
When do you guys record from the city market?
I live close in Casween Bay.
Thanks.
Okay.
We didn't today.
We went to Topher's house because it's like fucking 50 million below.
And nobody was going to be at the city market when it's that cold anyhow.
So we did it for Topher's house.
So usually Tuesdays.
Usually Tuesdays about 9 a.m.
Come on down.
It's an open mic.
We don't care what you say.
You can call us dickheads and fucking no dicks or whatever.
We don't care.
I've got a side note here due to some emails that I got.
I'm going to take a trip to Clarksville, Arkansas, and I'm going to hide all the Narcan.
I'm a problem solver.
That's what I am.
I'm hiding all the Narcan.
Clint, of course.
Clint, don't make me hide all the Narcan in Clarksville.
I will never hear from you again.
Not that far.
Five hour drive.
I got a lead foot.
I could be there in four and a half.
Maybe four.
I had a few bloody whoppers.
And finally, Jerry from Wichita has replied, why Stewart from Park City needs an ass kicking.
Really?
Yes.
He claims that Stewart, sited with his Jerry's girlfriend, that Jerry has horrible taste in clothing.
Okay.
First off, Jerry, this is a very serious allegation that we do not take lightly here at Douchebag Central.
We have to give Stewart, in all fairness, a couple of weeks for a defense.
I hope he does respond.
I must state that if these charges ring true, this would prompt a phase three kick in the ass.
That would result in a total destruction of one's ass.
Stewart, you have two weeks to defend these serious allegations.
Rob, this could be the very first phase three ass destruction we've ever encountered.
So, Jerry, you need to reply.
Because we don't go into phase three unless it's absolutely necessary.
If you don't reply, we have to take Stewart's word.
What you sited with his girlfriend about his taste in clothing, which is very serious allegations.
Very serious.
So, we don't take that lightly here at Douchebag Central.
And we are keeping a close contact with Jerry and we want Stewart to reply.
Because we want to get to the bottom of this.
Yes, yes.
To be honest, I really want to know what's going on here.
Something tells me it isn't even the tip of it.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on, Jerry.
We need Stewart to reply.
We need Stewart to say, hey, he's leaving out this or he's doing this because of that.
So, we're not saying we don't believe it.
But the wife and the friend is disagreeing on this.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're going against him on his taste in clothing.
Hey, this is a fact of too far.
This is a very serious allegation.
We definitely have to take this seriously.
This is too serious that we can't just let the guy reply.
We have to give the guy a chance to defend himself.
Because this goes into a phase three destruction of one's ass.
We don't take that lightly.
We have to investigate this to the fullest extent.
So, we're giving Jerry a couple of weeks to respond.
So, Jerry, please do.
We want your side of the story before we destroy your ass.
So, anyhow, Rob, we turn to you and then I could do the top seven of Tulsa King.
Sound good?
All right. Sounds good.
Well, I'm going to pass that through my portion of music, please, real quick.
Cool.
I was working the other morning, got my homework assignment.
It was singers that would put you to sleep and singers that would not put you to sleep.
Oh, yeah. I remember that.
I got my top seven under Tulsa King school.
You know me, I listen to him.
I do now. I do now.
I tried to revolt, but no. I got obeyed.
Yeah. Well, we're trying to watch time and it helps.
I appreciate that.
Yeah.
And there's really more to think about.
Yeah.
Okay. I'm going to start with the singers that would put me to sleep.
Okay.
Okay. And my first one is the only one on A list.
I have to agree with, I can't remember if it was you or Topo that mentioned this person,
but this person has to be on my list.
And that is Stevie Nick.
Okay.
In my opinion, Stevie Nick has the voice of an angel.
That's cool.
Yeah.
Can't argue.
That's my only, yeah, and I came up for my reasons, yeah.
Okay.
Next, it was somebody I was listening to the other day.
Peter Cicciara of Chicago.
Oh, wow.
That came out of left field.
Yeah.
Very cool.
I don't know if it's like the KUDL, you know what I mean?
Yeah, Cuddle.
Anybody that don't know KUDL, if they came to City Station.
Was at Kansas City Station.
Yeah, it was.
It wasn't on for shop or all.
It was Cuddle, K-U-D-L, they said Cuddle.
Yeah, yeah, Cuddle.
Yeah, that's what my mom listened to.
So that's how I know things.
Yeah, all the elders listened to that, and we of course hated it at the time.
But Peter Cicciara is such a great choice for that.
Great, nice voice.
It was me.
I was asking, what is he doing, man?
Yeah, and I was thinking, yeah.
I think I was free to listen to him.
You know?
I would agree.
I just never thought of him.
Yeah.
Mac, William MacIntyre.
Interesting.
Yes, I love his voice.
I love his voice.
I hear his voice, I visualize it, yeah.
Cool.
But yeah, there's something about his voice that calms me.
It's his slow music, his slow music.
Okay.
Yeah.
So, Mac, I've got to go with the Queen of Country, Patti Gwine.
Yeah, yeah.
Yep.
Great voice.
And then I'm going to go with the classic.
Really?
Yes.
Like Tears from Heaven?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You look wonderful.
Yeah, I get it.
Yeah.
Tears from Heaven, yeah, his slowest step.
Yeah, yeah.
He dropped his voice down one time to smooth it.
Yes.
And you know, he did have a very good voice, soft voice.
I didn't care too much for his regular voice.
But when he sang ballads like Tears from Heaven and You Look Wonderful and all that, I mean.
Yeah, he dropped them down.
That's a good tune, too.
Okay.
He had so much emotion in his songs.
I mean, one of them was sung to, wasn't it George Harrison's wife at the time, who he ended up marrying later?
Yes.
You look wonderful, I believe.
Yeah, you look wonderful tonight.
And I also think Derek of the Dominoes and Solo, Laila was also about her, too, I do believe.
He was head over heels and he eventually married her.
I don't know how that whole thing came about or whatever.
I don't want to know.
But okay.
Wow, Rob.
Okay.
Yeah, and next, Olivia Newton-John.
Cool.
Yeah, she had a soft voice and a softer song.
Well, I used to like to dress up in silver flash pants and I would wear the physical.
I had cowboy boots.
You didn't think that for me, did you?
Silver booty shorts.
Well, I wouldn't tell a thing.
I would not miss it then.
Yes.
And I would dance to physical.
Everybody loved it.
Loved it.
No matter what I did.
Wow, Laila, I was more greased.
I was more greased.
Oh, you were a greaser.
Okay, all right, I get it.
Yeah.
Okay, you were like John Travolta, you know, like swinging your leg and fucking tapping
up your leg.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, Olivia Newton-John bought me that look.
Yeah, you had your jeans rolled up at the bottom, right?
Yeah.
Yep.
Okay, go ahead.
Okay, and lastly, Naomi Judd, aka Mama Judd.
I'm glad you said that because people don't know the Judds.
Okay.
Yeah, then why not is the daughter.
I would rather have Mama Judd.
Didn't they have their cousin, three gallon Judd?
Yeah, I think so.
Yeah.
Something like that.
Okay.
All right, you want to hear Ronnie from Tulsa's top seven songs ever?
By the way.
I still have my notes, the ones not so good.
Oh, that's right.
I'm sorry.
Go ahead.
And we'll run through them real quick.
That's all right.
Go ahead.
Okay, first up, the rattle.
Yeah, a lot of energy.
Yeah.
Yeah, Steve Stevens.
Next, Ronnie James Dio.
Oh, yeah.
If you can sleep through Ronnie James Dio, you have narcolepsy.
Yeah.
Next, Donnie J. Brown from Molly Hatchett.
That's a good one.
That deep boy.
That is.
Well, Paul Swift would be in Molly Hatchett.
Molly fucking Hatchett.
No, no, no.
Rob, Rob.
Yeah, I'd be at party.
Rob, that's Molly fucking Hatchett.
Yeah, Molly fucking Hatchett.
Yeah, I know.
Okay, thank you.
All right.
Proceed.
Okay, next up, Ronnie from Modera.
I am so surprised you and Cobra did not miss me.
I am too.
I can hear you say so that way.
I agree.
But Topher did, well, you'll hear it tomorrow or something.
Topher did have Motorhead doing a surprise cover song.
When you listen to it, you'll know what we're doing and you'll come up with your own list
because you're going to love this.
It's bands that shouldn't be doing the covers that they're doing.
We're going to make them like he had Air Supply doing like Primus or something.
Okay.
So in other words, you're a list.
Yeah, bands you would love to hear trying to do these songs, but there's no way they
humanly could.
We didn't have a Top Anything.
We just came up with a bunch of them and talked about them.
Okay, next up, do you think you could get a seat of Rob Halford?
No way.
The metal god?
No way.
That's what I'm saying.
Yeah, it's pretty man.
I even liked him when he wore those like really tight leather and the goofy haircut.
He was still cool to me.
Right.
And my next song is another one that I'm surprised you're going to want to do a test on, which
everybody ever would agree.
Okay.
Yoko Ono.
Yeah, that was fucking good.
Okay.
And for my final one, Flava Flav.
And those last two can be interchangeable honestly
Richard Simmons
Okay, you're right you're right that was Rob that was excellent man that was really good
Cool all right well we asked Ronnie from Tulsa aka the Tulsa King
his top seven songs ever any genre we do not care here is what Ronnie from Tulsa came up with
Dire Maker this number seven Dire Maker Led Zeppelin interesting yeah I mean it's cool
Led Zeppelin I just didn't think about it
He's gonna get a hold of you he's gonna get a hold of you you know he we talked about it okay
Number six Sweet Soul Sister the Cult off of Sonic Temple and I love that song
That's a great song not one that I gave much thought to very good though it was a fantastic song
Number five would be one of my favorite songs but I didn't put it down I don't know why
Space Truckin' Deep Purple I love that song it is almost funk it's so good
Oh it's psychedelic and it's kind of malicious yeah a lot of instrumental I love it yeah I love it
You know who I'd love to see cover that and I think they do it well Blue Oyster Cult
They have that kind of funky rhythm in a lot of their songs yeah I think they could do it well
Okay next one another Deep Purple and it's tied with a Sabbath Deep Purple Burn and Snowblind
by Black Sabbath whoa whoa whoa whoa you made a tie he made a tie
Yeah we started off with ties yeah I gave him this because we had a couple of ties ourselves
Yeah because those are both great songs yeah this is great to say I get it so okay that's number four
Number three I love this choice love it Don't Talk to Strangers Ronnie James Dio
Oh damn he reached way in the back of the album damn I love it is that not fantastic
No wonder he likes us no wonder we like him yeah yeah yeah he did the co and sabba yeah
Who's got a rainbow on the very next one um his second Street of Dreams
JoWin Turner in Rainbow is that that one I get it I get it he kind of schooled us on some of the
stuff didn't he that was what really brought them to the main choice yeah that was like their American hit album yeah yeah I remember having that on the Kato album
The the Dio stuff was too um mystical too uh you know um it was intricate it was put together in parts
it was kind of Bach Beethoven-ish um okay so that didn't hit radio very well but uh the Bond Gramet
Gram Bonet yeah yeah Gram Bonet yeah since you've been Gons and all that stuff I mean
it was only one album but that hit America pretty good yeah and then the main show was JoWin Turner
with Rainbow JoWin Turner had that voice that was very radio friendly uh people loved it and it hit big
and finally his number one Leonard Skinner slash Zach Wilde Freebird and no they're not doing it
together I looked it up Skinner's Freebird and Zach Wilde's Freebird Zach Wilde does Freebird too
um on a couple of live albums he likes them both equally yeah all right all right he bought it he brought it yeah
Ronnie from Tulsa thank you Tulsa King thank you Tulsa King
I think we get along great yeah yep yep yep very very fucking cool so um all right you got something
you want to get to here real quick and I got a couple stories I can do yeah I got a story here
uh a good junior man was arrested after boating into a Bible study while drunk and accusing the
group of running a human trafficking operation okay David Campbell 48 of Stafford Virginia
forcefully entered a native Bible study session Wednesday night on a conflict quickly escalated
council was summoned to the hall after he called the reported people and double poked in the street
so this is all those people holding it in I'm sorry keep going I'm sorry I'm trying to hold
in my laughter this is no no no that's why I thought you let me have to keep the
button otherwise I would mute myself they were out with David told me out with the Campbell
confirmed them that they're all very very second ordained minister and turned the
front another man he then allegedly accused the group gathered for Bible study for being a human
trafficking operation and demanded that the police investigate it while we're doing this
9-1-1 dispatches can hear him taunting and cursing at his neighbors when deputies arrived at Campbell's
home they found him in the middle street Campbell then complained about the neighbors guests double
poking and demanded cops identify everyone at all the incident was captured on surveillance footage
and has not been released Campbell was charged with breaking and entering assault and public
intoxication yep wow
the stories you're doing tonight Rob are the truth is stranger than fiction file honestly right
honestly right right I would do I'm especially the one bringing up the weird stories very good
no I know you're doing fantastic at it you do such a good job keep doing that you find stuff that I
never even thought you know never even okay well you know what I like the direction you're going
myself and by the number of hits I'm going to be able to get to the bottom of this and I'm going to
myself and by the number of hits we're getting I would say that everyone else agrees so this little
bitch is really fucking growing thank you everybody yeah so once we hit video I think we're going to be
pretty damn good I mean we already are I just can't believe without any type of advertising how well
we're doing thank you everybody but it's going to get much better much much better we got a lot more
to do I just want to warn everybody you know me seeing me relate on a work night so yeah yep I
don't want that pretty um you know that's okay I mean and then like we're doing back to backs
because I had to do something else last night so tomorrow you're going to be even more frizzled which is
excellent because I love you frizzled you come up with some interesting shit so um I got a story here
if you're ready for it yeah the wildfires that swept through SoCal not only had problems with
water being shut off but also fire hydrants missing due to theft fire hydrants have been
stolen in increasing numbers in Los Angeles County California since late 2022 this are believed to be
motivated by the value of the brass copper and steel in the hydrants now one thing is right here
Rob they have to take that to a recycler right yeah that motherfucker should report him
instead of buying it if he reported him like he's supposed to you wouldn't have this issue they take
him there go I can't get this this is stolen you don't get a fire hydrant just fucking finding it
by the side of the road right so between May 2023 or January 2023 and May 2024 more than 300
fire hydrants were stolen locations thefts have occurred in south and southeast LA including
Gardena Huntington Park Compton and Inglewood methods thieves have used vehicles to knock
hydrants loose and they were stolen generally or unscrewed bolts to remove them replacing the
hydrants Golden State Water Company is replacing hydrants with locking collars but it's expensive
they have law enforcement is investigating scrap yards and making arrests which is excellent the
sheriff's department and fire department are asking residents to report thefts and law to law
enforcement over six billion in revenue from weed sales in California right six billion
weed sales don't you think you give everybody in the fucking state a gold fire hydrant Rob
yeah if Missouri squandered that much money wouldn't there be a public lynching
oh there'd be people on the step of capital of the of Jeff City fucking grabbing people and
throwing them to the ground you know you know fire hydrants being dry or missing Jeff City would be
in rubble because everybody around would be there knocking their shit down California you need to
quit watching Hollywood or whatever it is you're doing and pay attention you guys are getting
screwed from every angle just saying Rob we turn to you okay um I want to tell a story just today
okay uh it's kind of going to be those people in the political fitness and stuff
um a personal trainer snapped a hip bone in half after ego lifting in the gym
and is now warning others not to partake in the viral fitness trend after a left of the hospital
wise Christina Schmidt began incorporating barbell hip thrust in the gym routine to attempt to grow
the groups after seeing some of her favorite fitness influencers worried about the exercise
and what it did to them after quickly more quickly working her way up to a personal best of 309
pounds in march 2023 the 24 year old developed agonizing pain in her right hip it felt like
someone was tearing her leg off the pain became so bad that she was reportedly left crying with
every single step and found herself unable to walk she was a doctor and they discovered that she had
broken her hip bone due to stress factors by lifting too much weight with incorrect form or no law
there is no time so come on guys if you're gonna be working out watch yourself yes
over there hey come on this woman just broke her hip over there if not that's why you have spiders
yes don't be don't be that guy she should know better yeah yeah yeah absolutely
don't worry i'm saying don't be that guy don't be that guy okay get some spotters
you can always find spotters at a gym um easily so anyhow um this is an interesting story because
i want everyone to hear it that don't know about it to look it up a visitor to our museum took
a picture of him and it went viral we thought it was so funny executive director of sarah bader king
of the alexander major's house museum which is right down the road from us on state line road not
very not very far at all i think you know where it's at right um so yeah it's not very far from
us um and the museum's namesake bears a striking resemblance to number 87 on the can city chiefs
it is alexander majors but he looks just like travis kelsey and i'm not kidding you you have
to look at his picture to see exactly what i'm saying he is this fitting image of travis kelsey
in old hat and old in old uniform now what is it oh it just do alexander major's
slash travis kelsey you'll get it born in 1814 was a business tycoon and co-founder of the pony
express and he is buried in union hill cemetery which is almost on downtown on the hill downtown
kansas city it was the very first cemetery in kansas city i know all this because i went to
the living history and it was actors and actresses that played out these people that were buried
they're famous people it was supposed to be the only cemetery that kansas city would ever need
until the flu outbreak in 1814 i believe and then they had to promptly come up with another
cemetery on the fly because that one got full it was full in a matter of days because that was a
pandemic that took everybody out they had a family of 17 by the time the flu was done they had a
family of three this thing killed everybody back then so uh anyhow he is he is buried in that in
that cemetery very very cool very ordinary stone but a lot of history there anyhow people really
just knew him in the 19th century better king said he also had a massive shipping company but
he wasn't a football player she says travis kelsey is aware of the photo and he and his
equally famous older brother jason mentioned it on their podcast new heights rob i have a famous
twin people say i look now get this rob i have a famous twin okay right you know what they say i
look like they look they say i look just like a shade tree on moored parkway
yeah it's very cool i went by that shade tree and i agree i look just like it just like it's
a fitting image we turn to you that's okay and we're doing it tomorrow too we'll catch up
again tomorrow night okay i look like a shade tree rob
just saying
that's your opinion rob have a good night everybody thank you for listening
i am of course just fucking around
everybody thank you assholes have a fantastic evening watch out for the snowflakes they're
coming if you live around here good night assholes good night assholes oh no looks like the show's
over kids mark has explosive diarrhea and can't afford a wireless mic fear not assholes they'll
be back invading your ear holes soon