And now it's time for...
The Daily Deucebag Pledge.
Here at Two Deucebags in a Microphone, we don't stand behind our journalistic integrity.
Go ahead and assume we got the story wrong. At least we admit it.
Not like all those other guys, we can and will lie if it makes the story better.
Two Deucebags and a Microphone.
We Talk.
Kansas.
Hey there, fuckstick. You're just in time for brand new feature news nobody gives a shit about.
A Japanese man has grown a 63 leaf clover.
Now it's time for pick up lines from a loser.
Would you grab me by the shoulder? That way I can tell everybody I was touched by an angel.
You watch the news. It looks grim. Is an apocalypse inevitable?
We suggest you download all our podcasts beforehand and have multiple mobile chargers.
We have the post-apocalypse list.
Learn your soils. You will need drinking and bath water.
You must build a reservoir. The key to hold water in the ground are the clays you have at its base.
Research water purification methods and wild game will attract to the water as well.
More annoying than a 3am piss boner.
Two Deucebags and a Microphone.
Operating from Mid-America, Kansas City and Camden 10, Missouri where Rob is at.
Hello everybody, I'm Rob.
And I'm Mark. I don't think I went over that earlier, did I?
Alright. Hey Rob, remember that drone I was telling you about in the middle of Brush Creek?
Yeah, actually I kind of thought about it.
I might have figured it out. I looked it up. I thought I had it figured out too.
And it's in the ballpark.
So I have a drone update. I'm referring to the drone that was stuck in the frozen Brush Creek just to the right of the Morneau Road Bridge, right?
I saw the drone or another one just like it at the same location.
And then coming home I saw it on the Broadway Bridge over Brush Creek.
I read up on it. It's actually security surveillance for law enforcement.
What I read is true. This particular one monitors the walkways underneath the bridge.
The drone I spotted frozen was actually one that sat too long probably and actually was stuck.
When it dawned they sent it out.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, so there you go. That's why that drone was stuck in the middle of Brush Creek making an idiot like me scratch his head and go, what?
And then it was gone when it melted. I'm like, what in the hell went on here?
Well, I guess they have it like hover and then sit sometimes and it was probably sitting on the ice or something.
And then maybe the ice melted onto it because it probably generates heat doing what it does.
So I think that's what happened. I think maybe the operator sat it down on the ice to get a still shot of something and they left it there too long.
And then it froze over and it wouldn't go back up.
So anyhow, they got it unstuck and now I see, I don't know if it's the same drone or not, flying around all over the place.
So I figured out, I looked it up and that's what's going on. So there was a logical explanation for it.
So anyhow.
Okay, well I figured it just thawed out and floated off. That's what I came up with.
You know what? That would have been a good one, but you'd have to see the creek right now.
There's a reason it couldn't do it is because the particular spot where it was at was not frozen.
But downstream was frozen. Then parts of it was not frozen. It was intermittent. So it couldn't have went anywhere.
I thought maybe like it was damaged and it sunk. That's what I thought. I was like, okay, it must sink.
Okay, yeah. Yeah.
But then when I was coming to work, no I wasn't coming to work. I was going up to look at the Jeep that Val bought, me and Val bought today.
Okay, I was driving back up that way and I saw another drone out there. I go, okay, there's more to this story than that.
So anyhow, that's what it is. It's a law enforcement surveillance, probably monitoring the sidewalks there because there's a lot of joggers and probably a lot of people, thieves waiting underneath there.
Right. Right.
Well, you know, you've seen it before. The walkways underneath after they concrete it all in and made it nice and beautiful with the nice bridges over. Well, underneath you can't really see it that well. It's in the shadows.
Right. Right. I know. Yeah, I know that's the topic of that.
Yeah. Yeah, I knew you did. So, okay, have you had any luck with the truck yet?
Oh, no, no. I'm still in works of things.
Okay. Okay, got you.
Okay. Yeah, I'm still in works of things.
Okay.
Okay. Are you a Ford Dodge or GM truck guy or you non-denominational?
Well, honestly, I prefer Ford.
So do I. So do I. Yes.
But, but, but, but, but.
Dodges are nice too.
I am taking about, I feel like a Toyota Tacoma.
Those are good.
Yeah.
They're known for high mileage.
Durability.
Their suspension is really good.
They're a very strong truck. Their suspensions are A+.
Yeah, I read up on them because at one point I was going to get a truck.
But then I, okay, the last time I bought a new truck, it was like this. Everybody that ever needed moved. Hey, who's got, oh, Mark's got a truck.
And I was like, you know what? I'm never going to get one again after that because, man, you have to keep dodging people because everybody knows you have a truck.
So I was like, you know, I'm not getting a truck at this point in my life because I pissed too many people off going, oh, fuck you. I don't plan on it. I won't do it.
You know, I'm just too crass anymore. I won't beat around the bush. I'll go, fuck you. I haven't heard from you in two years. And this is what I hear now. Fuck you. Get out of here.
Even if I liked them, you know, I probably wouldn't anyhow. Like, you know, my time's too valuable and I don't feel like doing it. My back hurts. Leave me alone. Go, go pay somebody.
You know, so I'm not going to get a truck again. That's why I'm sticking to Jeeps.
So but here's something to think about when I went in there today. Val and I signed the paperwork to buy the new Jeep.
Okay. I'm thinking with the tariffs coming due for wishing that the trucks and vehicles assembled here will not have tariffs on them.
That's true. Okay. But a lot of them are assembled in Mexico, even like the Ford, Chevy, you know, GM, Chrysler, all of them.
They have plants in Mexico that could have tariffs on them if that does happen. But I remind you this.
And this is what the guy reminded me. The vehicle that you're going to purchase, most of them have overseas parts and they'll be likely be 25 percent higher,
especially if they come from China and they will probably have to be ordered because of the tariffs. No one wants. This is what he told me.
No one's going to stock up on them because of tariffs, because what if they figure out something and then you pay 25 percent more for a part?
Okay. Then you're out that money because when the tariffs go away, then you can't really charge it anymore because everyone else is charging a lower price.
No one's going to buy them. They're just going to sit on the shelf. You're going to lose that money.
So he was kind of speculating that most people or most places will not have these parts in stock if all of these tariffs come to fruition. Okay.
That's right. I see that. Yeah. And you can also look up the percentage of whatever model of truck you're thinking about getting.
And usually you can find online the percentage of how many out of country parts are on them.
And probably the big ticket items I would really be leery of.
Now if it's an alternator or something, okay, maybe you could go ahead and buy it 25 percent more.
Yeah, it's a pain in the ass, but it's better to just go ahead and have it done than have it sit. You know what I mean?
So, but it just depends. Oh, go ahead.
Like I said, I first mentioned Ford. I'm talking little trucks, so that would be a Ford Ranger. Ford Ranger and Mazdas are the same thing.
I know. You are correct. Yeah, yeah. I'm not a big fan of the Ranger.
I've owned a few Rangers. I like Rangers. Yeah, I put a lot of miles on Rangers.
Okay, you know what? I had a Ranger a couple of times too, and I was not impressed with him.
I didn't like the power of him. The durability seemed to be there, but to me the, I don't know, it was probably just the model I got.
I probably got him pretty early. I don't know. But anyhow, it was a long time ago, so you know, I could be completely wrong. So anyhow.
Well, I was running up and down the highway a lot.
Yeah, you're probably doing something different than I was when I had my little.
It was when I was doing all these maintenance.
Okay, I can see that. Yeah. It took me an hour and 45 minutes to drive St. Joe's to Raymore, which is where my buddy lived.
And that's where all of our stuff was, and then drive to the store.
Okay, okay. I could see that really being beneficial. Yeah, I spent a lot of time in that truck.
Okay, when I was having my lawn service in the 90s, I was probably needing something a little bit larger than that.
So you know what? It was probably me. I should have probably bought a truck larger than that.
But at the time, you know, you're just getting established and you're trying to not overspend, because what if it doesn't work?
You know, and all that stuff. But anyhow. Okay, so Rob, look this one up and anyone else.
Independence, Missouri. They were demolished in an old water tower.
They measured the distance of the blast from the tower came tumbling down and missed a house across the road by one foot.
Oh, my God. Oh, it's great. Just look it up.
Independence, water tower implosion. You see the people in the house. Oh, shit. Oh, shit.
Eddie says it's great. Yeah. All right.
Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. We got it figured out.
Just go ahead and sit in there. You have your pop tarts. No big deal. No big deal.
You're sitting there looking at your window. Hey, hey, hey, Ma, leave me alone. Man, my pop tart. No, no, no.
Ma, Ma, Ma, come here. Oh, shit.
So anyhow, yeah, you know, interrupt your pop tarts pretty bad. So anyhow, RSS is so precise.
You know, I was telling you about the cruise ship one and all that. Right. Right. Right.
I can locate my house almost exact where it's at every time I download and I go there.
South Kansas City. There I am. I see my downloads.
So anyhow, so I looked at this and I know someone from my old jobs listening again because it popped up right there.
So hey, guys, what the hell, man? You know, hey, just give me a call if you want to know what's going on.
I'll tell you. OK. Give me a call. Say hey, Mark, old buddy, old pal. How you doing? All right.
Or maybe you like my voice. Maybe you miss my voice. I don't know. Maybe it's that.
Or, you know, I don't know what it is, but you know what? Hey, leave me alone. Quit listening to my shit.
I don't care. No, no, no, no. Let them listen. No, I'm joking. I'm just letting them know again.
I know they're listening. Last time I did that, they would. You know what? I'm not even going to get into it.
Anyhow, I'm just having fun with them like I always have. I'm in such a great place that I'm doing so well at.
I don't care. You know, it's fine. Everything worked out for everybody. Well, I think. Well, I don't know about them, but it worked out great for me.
And I'm just having fun with this thing. But I just want to say hi to you guys. Hey, how y'all doing?
Everything good? Everything good? You smiling? You waking up every day feeling good?
All right. All right. We have quite a few emails this time around and really good ones as well.
So I think the show emails are still it's still not working properly, I'd like to say.
So I can't recover the ones that I briefly saw a few weeks ago just to let everybody know.
But I have quite a few that did come out and they are some really good ones, Rob.
So anyhow, we got a new me and Val got a new car. It's a Jeep also.
This is a Renegade and I think I like it better than my Jeep.
But anyhow, but you know what? It's her car. So you know what's great about it? I don't have to try to switch Bluetooth.
You know what a pain in the ass it is? To switch a Bluetooth in a car.
Yeah, it takes like a rain dance, three years and a couple of prayer vigils to change your fucking Bluetooth from one car to another.
So, you know, she loves her new car. And I thought, you know what? It's going to work out perfectly.
I may like that. I may like that Renegade a little bit better than mine.
But here's the deal. I don't have to switch the Bluetooth. So I'm good. I'm good with it.
And okay, so anyhow, I have an addition to make here.
I was reminded we were talking about Harriet Truman, right? And I was telling you that a lot of emails came out, right?
And I was talking about Truman, Harry Truman on the last broadcast.
Okay, so I was reminded about former president Harry S. Truman was Truman was spotted at Dixon's Chili in Independence every other day.
You know what I'm talking about, right? It was his famous chili. He's all over the wall.
He loves that place or love that place. Dixon's, which is still there, serves the same recipe from back then.
I've not been there in quite a while, but it's my understanding that they now have Taco Tuesday.
That means you can have you. You can have all you can eat tacos for a certain price, unless COVID might have killed that too.
But not to my knowledge, I think it still goes on. But anyhow, Truman's was nuts over that chili.
And the word is he had it shipped to the White House and probably his vacation home, the little White House in Key West, too.
But you go into Dixon's Chili, the original one, there's one in Lee's Summit, I think, if it's still there.
And I think it's owned by someone else and people I haven't eaten there at all. But people claim to not like it as well.
But I know the original one on 40 Highway there in Independence, you go in there and they have like 100 pictures of Truman there with a bowl of chili.
And you've been in there, right? And seen them?
Yeah, yeah, I have. It's been years.
Yeah. Well, anyhow, this this guy, I can't find the email. I can't remember his name, but he's obviously from around the Kansas City area.
He said, hey, you didn't go into Dixon's Chili. And that's true. I forgot. So I'm sorry. But Dixon's Chili was a big spot for him.
And anyhow, just look it up if you get a chance. Dixon's Chili, Harry S. Truman or whatever. Google it. Call Siri, you know, whatever.
OK. And finally, Cherry RC Cola is back and available in 18 packs.
And along with brand new RC Cola Zero. Now, I've been a fan of RC Cola and some of you, we talked about this ever since I was a little bitty shit.
I found it is. Yeah, it is a great alternative to Coke and Pepsi and Dr. Pepper, right?
It was like in between. Yeah, it was like in between. Yeah, I love it.
And so anyhow, the RC was almost vanished until they brought back the retro design on the cans and bottles.
It's primarily blue with a red classic RC logo surrounded by white.
I took interest in it because of the retro design. It reminded me of when I was younger and sipping it on a hot sunny day.
You know, the retro design just brought me back. The retro can was supposed to last for a limited time, but has been used now for around six years.
And I'm thinking it's because they're rolling out new products and bringing back old ones with they actually have a shelf space and aisle space at Wal-Mart.
They are back officially because before you could find like maybe one or two packs hidden way in the back of the of the soda pop section at Wal-Mart or price chopper or, you know, or wherever.
Right. Well, now they have it in the middle of the aisle, its own its own area.
And it has all RC products, which also included like I think it was Sunkist and maybe A&W or something like that, root beer or cream sodas and stuff like that.
But it's cool because they're like coming back to legitimacy now.
I don't know what place they are in in the soda pop market. Some would tell me that they're still way back there, but they got the first started.
And, you know, they took over Penn State. They took that over from Pepsi.
I saw where Coca-Cola is going back to Costco in the summer sometime.
Pepsi seems to be kind of floundering. And RC took over the Pepsi account.
All the Penn State, Pennsylvania State University took took over all of that.
And now RC has got decent shelf space in the aisle at Wal-Mart.
So this is interesting. Remember I said I thought it could come back because of the new, you know, the new old labels drew such interest.
Well, it looks like that's what's happening because you couldn't find it for years.
I mean, you'd have to look. A lot of stores didn't even bother with it. They didn't even carry it.
I don't know if they even had like a bottling company carrying them around here like they had to get them somewhere else or something,
because you could only really get them at high distribution stores like Wal-Mart or something like that.
Right. A lot of the local stores didn't have them like the Price Choppers and Hy-Vees didn't have them for a long time.
Well, now they're taking up premium space in one of the largest retailers in the world, Wal-Mart.
So I would say that they are making a pretty good comeback right now.
It's going to be interesting to see to see where it goes, because everybody I talk to like you and anyone else don't have a problem with RC.
They're like, oh, yeah, I remember that. I used to drink it. It's good.
So I think it definitely has a market in there. So we'll see what happens. Pretty interesting.
I'm taking one of them. It's red one time. RC topped. Was it Pepsi?
It moved up in the rankings.
Oh, here recently or from before?
Well, no, this was a while back.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, they did.
It was like from number three to number two or something like that.
Yeah, it was quite a few years ago. But of course, then I don't know what happened.
They lost their distributorship. I don't know.
Or I think they were sold a couple of times. But now whoever owns them has really got their eye on the dot.
They're like, you know, we're going to we think we can make this thing much bigger.
We think we can be a force to be reckoned with in the soda pop market.
And the new RC Zero is a really cool can.
It's like the original can looks just like RC, but underneath it's got this black black and white lettering that says zero.
You have to look at it very close. Otherwise, you're going to think it's regular RC.
Just like Coca-Cola does with zero and just like Pepsi does with zero.
All the cans look almost identical to the regular soda.
And I think they do that for a reason. It's psychology.
You see that you see that can. It looks just like a regular soda.
And then you drink it. And I think subconsciously you think it is a regular soda.
It's something like that because they're all doing it now.
The the the zero cans look almost identical to the regular cans with corn syrup.
So anyhow, so you know what? I hope they serve RC Cola at the Superdome. Don't you?
Yeah, yeah. I think everybody down there in New Orleans deserves an RC Cola while watching the Chiefs.
Don't you?
Definitely.
Yeah, yeah. I would love to see everybody with RC Cola.
That's where I lived when I first started drinking it.
Yeah, you know, like he hate me. I would like to see like Jones rip off the back.
His name off the back and it says RC Cola instead of Jones. Wouldn't that be cool?
Oh, there you go. There you go. Yeah, that'd be cool.
You're welcome RC Cola or whoever owns you. All right, Rob, we turn to you.
Hey, did you like the Final Destination movies?
Yes.
Oh, yeah, I did too. Well, Final Destination is coming back after a 14 year hiatus.
The new installment.
Okay.
Final Destination Bloodlines, aka Final Destination 6, which is set to be released this year.
While we're still waiting for a full trailer, the official social media account for the movie has released a short teaser
that has whole fans speculating about what it could mean.
With the brief message, this one's for the fans, the video shows an anonymous turning ceiling fan
with various clanging chains hanging around it.
We know it's not paying tribute to any past death in the franchise,
so it could be teasing a future best scene in the movie.
The filmmakers decide to pull a stunt to secure the job at the end of their virtual meeting with New Line executives
creating pre-recorded footage and visual effects that take their deaths through the Zoom call.
I like the modern edge.
Yeah, yeah. The film's synopsis reads,
In the 1960s, a grandmother predicts the collapse of a building and saves a group of people from death.
Decades later, her granddaughter also begins to have visions of the death of her family members
and later begins to realize that there is a sequence.
Final Designation 6 is releasing in theaters and on IMAX, May 16, 2025.
Nice. Okay.
May 16.
So, about the time I get back from my cruise, it'll be out.
Sounds good to me. The weekend after. Yeah. I'll do with that.
Right on.
Yeah, that sounds good.
I like those movies.
I did too. I thought they were very well done. I love the storyline, everything about them.
Cool. Thank you, Rob. That's good to know.
Let's take our first break and like I said, I got some emails and then maybe we could go into our list that.
Yeah.
Okay. All right. Sounds good. Oh, I also have Ask Patlins. If we get to them today, great. If not, we'll do them later.
So, anyhow, we'll be right back.
All right.
Now, I was requested a tour of the Talk is Cheap Studio.
Why someone wants to see this? We have no idea.
Come on in. The door is open.
Oh, hey guys. Come on in. I've been expecting you.
Now, look at this. I have this false staff sign. It's probably from the 1940s or 50s. And I have this Kansas City Chiefs wine for the last two Super Bowls that they won.
And I hope I get another one. Over here, I have my fuck off sign, my on air sign, and my Saturn sign, and my skull sign.
And look at that. It's a boss poster and RC and Yimling. This shit is so cool, man. Don't you guys think it's cool?
Damn it, guys. Who the hell made us come through this, any of you? This guy's an idiot. Let's get the hell out of here. Shit.
Harambe used to listen to our original show, Two Dip Shits and a Cheap Radio Shack Realistic Tape Recorder. Harambe does not listen to our original show, Two Dip Shits and a Cheap Radio Shack Realistic Tape Recorder anymore.
You might ask why Harambe never listens to our original show, Two Dip Shits and a Cheap Radio Shack Realistic Tape Recorder.
Well, it's because Harambe is dead. Senselessly murdered because some idiot did not watch her child properly while looking on her phone.
Sadly, Harambe does not listen to our original show, Two Dip Shits and a Cheap Radio Shack Realistic Tape Recorder, or any other show anymore. Sorry, Harambe.
Two Dish Bags and Microphone is the only podcast available anywhere with gusto. That's right, I said gusto. Gusto is a magical ingredient in Schlitzbeer that makes it so damn delicious. So enjoy a little gusto from your podcast today.
Next up, Things Overheard in Hell. The brand new Charles and Charge reboot is the only show available all week.
The apocalypse just happened. You don't know what to do. You don't know where to go. But we can tell you what you can eat.
Hi all, this is Mark here. I'm usually the one telling you what to eat during an apocalypse. Well, this time I decided to go the other way.
You ever consider just going to Ground Zero and saying fuck it? Do you really want to be the guy running around looking for radioactive deer, guessing whether water is not contaminated or not? No food, no shelter, no nothing.
Oh no, there's a strong argument that says, you know what, let's just go to Ground Zero and see what's for us after. Just a thought.
Why, what a burger, you say? Well, because what a deep-fried crispy chicken nugget just didn't have the right ring.
And now, Deep Thoughts with Mark.
Why can't I use my toaster to toast ravioli? Or how about marshmallows? Man, this is bullshit.
Two douchebags in a microphone. I'm Mark.
And I'm Rob.
Alright. We have some, we'll get them later. Okay, we have some emails.
Yeah, yeah, let's hear the emails.
Yeah, yeah, we'll get the ass paddling later or maybe the next show. There's, we still got the, you know what, I'll go into it later. Okay.
Actually, I gotta say, the emails have gotten to be my favorite part of the show.
Me too, and these are fucking awesome.
They really have.
Now, I don't know when these came to me, because like I said, the emails screwed up. So, this could have been from two months ago.
So, if you hear them now and I'm just now answering them, I just now got them, so I apologize. So, okay, so I'll start with the first one.
Mark and Rob, just wanted to see what are your plans for the podcast that will replace the sports bastards, the NFL show.
Okay, the season's almost over. It's Topher and I, actually. Rob doesn't do it because he just knows the Chiefs and nothing else, right?
Pretty much, yeah. I mean, I watch some, just not like you guys.
Yeah, so. I know all the stats and stuff.
Yeah, and Topher and I go in depth to it, so Rob chooses to sit it out, and that's fine, and I get it, because I would too.
Well, plus I'm working that day, just like music creeps.
Yeah, yeah, so he has his input on music creeps, and he's good with that. So, it's Topher and I, but we don't know yet. We'll figure it out.
We will likely do a draft special, and then wait for September to roll around. And so, Rothland in West Palm Beach, thank you.
West Palm Beach is great. I've been there several times. I love it. I love Red Reef Beach. That's a great place.
Except for that resort that kicked me out because I accidentally walked on their land on the beach. Fuck them.
So, anyhow. And then when the 20 twerkers came by and ruined my sunset. 20 teenage twerkers.
I'm sitting around the bench, and I'm sitting there watching the sunset, and all of a sudden I hear all these footsteps of people howling.
And it was 20 teenagers, male and female, fucking twerking, and interrupted my sunset. So that was bad too. But other than that, I loved it.
Okay. Robin Mark, do you have any lists for me? Ronnie and Tulsa.
Oh shit.
I know.
Yeah, yeah, I got that. Hey, we're going to get together tomorrow night. Let's stay inside. We'll talk about Ronnie.
Ronnie, give us a little bit. We'll come out with some stuff. That fucker. He just got us.
Yeah. Sally.
Thank you, Tulsa King.
We've been too busy concentrating on his. We forgot.
I know.
We forgot about Gory Marge. Okay.
That's funnier than hell. He just turned the table on us.
Okay.
Okay. Did you say Rob is recording on the podcast with a call in Bluetooth?
I mean, he sounds louder than Mark most times. Craig in Minneapolis.
Yeah, we know this. We spoke about it. Rob actually said that it sounded like he was yelling and it kind of did. For some reason this microphone.
You have adjusted it. I've noticed it.
Yeah, I've moved the Bluetooth back and I've adjusted the microphone to omni sound. So it's got 3D sound, if you will.
And also whenever I run this through the program, I normalize it to try to bring it to podcast standards, whatever that is.
So there are several things that I'm doing. But for some reason, this microphone likes to pick up that Bluetooth better than me.
So I don't know why. You wouldn't think it would, but it does. So, okay.
All right. Mark.
The last couple of shows we've adjusted it and I think it sounds better. It doesn't sound like it's screaming.
I would agree. It sounds considerably better. And we're still fine tuning everything.
When we go to video, I think I'm going to have to change the program anyhow to a little bit more complicated one. And that will make it sound much better.
So it's just a lot of work and I never really wanted to get that far into that work. But I guess I'm going to have to. So anyhow, we'll worry about that when it comes up here.
Okay, Mark, you keep saying the older recorded parodies that you plan on re-recording them for more consistent quality.
I turn people onto your show, but they complain about one segment being almost a whisper and one so loud it hurts your ears.
I'm not taking a dump on you. Just letting you know. Sue and St. Pete.
Sue, you're right. And this goes back to what I just said. We're working progress.
We're working on the sound, yes.
Yeah. I mean, everything is baby steps, man. You know, we both have lives. We have jobs. We have family. We have other obligations.
I mean, like we spent just most of my weekend. I got one more day, thank God.
Most of our weekend hunting down another vehicle because Val's Jeep was starting to falter pretty bad and we didn't feel comfortable putting that much money into it. So we had to get a new one.
So that took up two days and then switching the insurance over and all that shit. So, you know, I mean, this is life stuff. Rob is looking for a vehicle too.
This is stuff that takes time. And then this is our hobby project. And I mean, it's not on the back burner. It's just that you can only divide your time up so much.
So we're working on it. And I know this is probably said a while ago. We've been addressing this for the last month, month and a half.
We've been addressing this and this is probably an old email. So, Sue, I think that's what it is.
Was it Sue? Let me see here. Sue and St. Peter. Yeah.
Yeah. Sue, thank you for your interest. We're working on it. Okay. So thank you. I appreciate it. And thanks for letting me know you're not taking a shit on it. That means the world.
Right. Yes. Yeah.
Because there's some people out there that is just in the world to motherfuck you. Whatever your joy is, they want to stomp on it and take a dump on it. So thank you for not doing that. We're working on it.
All right. This is an interesting email. I have the two most interesting ones right here, Rob.
I'm scared.
This one I love. This Mitch in Springfield. He's written before. Remember him?
Oh Mitch. Yes.
Yeah. Yeah. He's always got some weird shit. Now this is no different.
I like him.
I love him too. I wish he'd call him that like the other ones are going to. But anyhow, okay. Mark, did Hardee's used to sell fried chicken? Yeah, they did. They did. Yes.
Did you like them?
I don't really remember. It wasn't bad. It was a tad. Okay. I think I do remember getting them a couple of times. I remember it. Yeah.
Okay. Yeah. I think they were pretty good. They just quit selling them one day. And when we went to Hardee's, I don't know, you got a biscuit or something. You know, they had great breakfast. Is there any around still? I don't even know if there's any around still.
I know the one here at the lake shut down a few years ago.
There's one on 103rd Metcalfe because I had to go over there the other day for some Dave's Hot Chicken and get my hair cut. That one's still open. So yeah, their chicken was good. Have you ever had their biscuits? Yes. Do you like them? Yes. You Rob?
Yeah. Yeah.
They're good. They were pretty good. They made them from scratch every day. I do remember that. And they were fluffy and buttery. Yeah. They were good. Yeah. Okay. They were good size too. Yeah, they were. I liked them. And I liked their chicken and chicken and cheese breakfast biscuit. Do you remember that one?
Yeah. Yeah. That was my favorite. Yeah, that was really, really good. So yeah. And Rob, this one's for you. Rob, do you like butterscotch? Mitch and Springfield.
I am. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Kind of. Yeah. Yeah. I'm gonna have to say yes. Okay. I really want to know. I grew up. I grew up. Every time I would go to grandma, she would have the butterscotch candy. So did mine, the one from here.
But then, you know, I do get into like Kahlua and stuff like that. Yeah. Yeah. I like butterscotch. Okay. Grandma Hazel from here. She had butterscotch all the time and she was really high on them. I didn't really like them at all. But they were like the Brocks hard candy that you used to go in with a scoop and buy by the pound. Remember them? Yeah. Yeah. And that's probably what you had too, wasn't it? The butterscotch of those?
Yeah. Yeah. It was just a little stable hard candy. Yeah. You take a scoop at, I don't know, Woolworth or Venture or something like that. Google it. And you take that scoop and you dip in there and you grab butterscotch or sometimes they were assorted or chocolate and they're called Brocks. B-R-A-H-S? Was that it? Yes. Yes. Okay. And they had different flavors. They were all hard candy. I think they had a little bit of soft candy.
Most of them were hard candy. And it was like a big thing back then. Mitch, why in the hell do you care if Rob likes butterscotch? I just want to know. Email me back. What an odd question.
I think that's a good question. Okay. I'm sorry. Mitch, you've written him with a lot of good ones. I'm not taking a dump on you. I just like to... Hey, hey, hey. He might be taking Valentine's Day's coming. Okay. Mitch, are you going to send him some butterscotch?
Hey, hey, hey. Don't spoil his friend. Okay. Okay. Okay. All right. Mitch, I'm out of this. This is between you and Rob. I'm very sorry. I did not mean to stick my beak in. I'm sorry. All right. If you hear my dogs howling, there's a fucking coyote out there in our front yard and the bastard won't leave. And I can't shoot a gun here in town. So, okay.
Right. Yeah. And I don't have any fireworks. So, it's going to just stand out there and look in my window and piss my dogs off for all night probably. So, okay. And this one is really good, Rob. I would like to have a special kick in the ass instead of an ass patling to Stuart from Wichita. Thank you, Jerry from Park City.
Park City is the north side of Wichita. Stuart from Wichita. Yes. Okay. So, okay, Rob. Correct me if I'm wrong on this. We don't just blindly kick someone in the ass, right?
No, but I like you. I do too. I do too. But we need proof of said ass kicking as needed. Yes. Yes. Yes. We just don't throw our ass kickings out willy-nilly.
That was an email, wasn't it? Yeah, it was an email. Yeah. Okay. Jerry, here's what the deal is. The ass kicking is in a holding facility until burden of proof is satisfied, right?
Yes. Okay. Then there's an appeal time frame in which Stuart from Wichita can respond. Isn't that fair? Right? Yes. Okay. So, this... That had just happened before.
Yes. So, we have the ass kicking in a holding facility right now. It's just sitting there waiting to kick somebody's ass. Now, you're saying that Stuart from Wichita needs it, Jerry from Park City.
So, we need the burden of proof of why he needs it. We need solid proof that he needs a kick in the ass. And then how long do we give? Two weeks for response time for an appeal?
If I remember right, yeah. Because I think one of the Springfield... some guys in Springfield first mentioned that. Yes. Yeah, it was. Yep. Yeah. And we set the rules there.
Yeah. Yeah. We don't blindly kick someone in the ass. Wait. Wait. No. We got a half week. So, okay. So, then us and myself and Rob will decide the severity of the ass kicking if needed.
The ass kicking will be administered if needed as phase one, which is the lesser the kickings. Phase two is what we call the red button with a 30 minute no sit time frame. And phase three, ass kicking, which is an all out destruction of one's ass.
Please respond with proof of the needed ass kicking. Thank you, Jerry.
Yes.
Okay. So, Jerry, it's up to you. The burden of proof has to be satisfied before we're going to administer the ass kicking to Stuart.
Now, Stuart might come back and say, you need the ass kicking. And then the burden of proof is going to be on him.
And then if it looks like a tie, Rob and I will have a special counsel. We're going to sit down and we're going to look over the facts and try to figure out who really gets the ass kicking.
And then at that time, because we wasted so much time, we're going to go to phase three and the destruction of your ass.
Yeah. Yeah. We're just going to destroy both your asses for wasting our time.
Yeah, for wasting our time. So, Jerry, if you want to back off on that, we're okay. Okay. Yeah, yeah, Jerry. Okay.
And Stuart, if you want to send in something, proofing your innocence, we're welcome to that too. We're open to it.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We want to hear it. Yeah, we want to hear it. Why does? Why does Stuart from Wichita need an ass spanking?
I mean, you know, or no, no, an ass kicking, not a spanking. He doesn't want the paddling. He wants an ass kicking, a kick in the ass.
So, all right. Rob, do you want to go to the top seven series of our all time? For Ronnie from Tulsa, the Tulsa King?
Sure. All right. Rob, be my guest.
Okay. Number seven, I had to go with Hee Haw.
Oh, that's a good one. Hee, Hee, Haw, Haw, Haw.
I grew up watching it with my dad. And if I wasn't with mom and dad, I was at grandma and grandpa's farm watching the greenipal.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You met another. You were gone. Remember that one?
Yeah. Yeah. I've been seeing things on Facebook about Hee Haw.
That was classy. I loved it. And remember the board that used to hit people in the ass?
Oh, yeah. I loved that.
And Uncle Jerry or something, the word, the bibs. Yeah. Yeah. Awesome. Okay. Go ahead. Sorry.
Okay. And coming in number six, another show that takes me back to my childhood at the same time period.
Okay.
Mutual of Omaha's animal kingdom.
Marlon Perkins. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I loved that show.
And every week, honestly, that was the only time, only hour of the week I would shut up as a kid.
Wow. While I was watching that show.
Nice. I was a dude on the animals to learn about as a kid.
Okay. Yeah, I did too. I loved that show and it could have easily made my top seven, but I didn't think about it.
Yeah. Number five, Gunsmoke.
Oh, I got that one on mine too. So, yeah.
Yes. We were watching it.
Yeah, that was so good. The Lauren Green and Michael Landon and man, there's a bunch of people on that one.
Anyhow.
Yeah. See, that was the good thing about living in dope. You were in South Kansas City. My parents had the farm just outside Harrisville.
So I had the city and the country.
Yeah. Yeah.
That's kind of why I am who I am, you know.
I think that's why we're all good, Rob. We had a little bit of both. We were shook up in a little globe.
Yeah.
Now we're weird.
Country and city. Yep.
Yep.
Cass County makes weird people. We know this. So there you go. Anyhow, go ahead.
Number four, Don't Shoot Me.
Wow. Oh my gosh.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm just saying don't shoot me.
No, you're not talking about the old show. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It was called Just Shoot.
No, no, no.
I'm telling you not to shoot me.
Okay. Sorry.
Because it's Roseanne.
Oh. No, that was a great show.
Yeah. I mean, I liked it. It was small town living.
It was Just Shoot Me.
And it was more like real life, you know.
Okay. The program was Just Shoot Me. That's what I was thinking. Anyhow, go ahead.
Yeah. Yeah. But no, no. I was just telling you, please don't shoot me.
Okay.
I'm telling you, Roseanne.
I'm glad you didn't pick Just Shoot Me. That show sucked. Anyhow, go ahead.
Okay. Number three. I have to go swamp people.
Oh, wow. Yeah. That was good.
That's something that I would like to try and do is alligator fish.
I think I would get enjoyment out of it. And I think that's the country part of me coming out. I don't know.
Probably. Probably.
I don't know. I could leave it on my TV 24-7.
Rob, I got a suggestion for you. Okay.
Yeah.
So if you take a cruise out of New Orleans, which you can. Okay.
Yeah.
And from there, go to Meditory or Lake Ponchaton. Ponchatron, not Ponchaton. Ponchatron.
And do the alligator tour. It's really cool. There are several of them.
Right.
And it's really neat. You get up close with the alligators. They throw marshmallows in there.
And the alligators, they throw eggs and they come up and they grab them.
And you get a really good, really good view of them. You get to look them in the eyes.
They're really kind of scary looking, but it's really cool.
There's a huge one out there that we got to witness, man. This guy was huge.
And anyhow, do it if you get a chance.
Oh, I'd love to. I would love to.
It's worth it.
Okay. Number two. Gilligan's Island.
Almost picked him. Almost picked him.
The reason Gilligan's Island, because it reminds me so much of me and my dad.
And that's about how we got along.
Skipper and Gilligan?
Yeah, and he dumped me upside the head when I needed him.
Skipper! Gilligan! I love that classic stuff.
That was me and my dad. My dad was in the Navy.
Very cool. Yeah.
I love that. I love the reasoning and everything. I totally get that.
Okay, my number one, I think anybody that knows me knows this is going to be a given.
Dukes and hazards.
Oh, wow. They could have been on my top seven, but I didn't think about them either.
For me, yeah. I wish they'd bring the reruns back. I wish they'd allow them back on TV.
Yeah, I wish they would too, actually.
Okay, mine are a little bit different. I have a lot more newer ones and a couple of odd ones on here.
I only have like two. Yeah, probably one. You know what, I'll just go into it.
My number seven is the series Oz on HBO. You ever see that?
Okay, yes. Yeah, I've seen like two episodes, I think.
That shit was so hardcore, it about changed you. I mean, it was like fucking freaky.
Great acting, really scary, really, ugh. Just mind-boggling. Mind-boggling.
Number six, I want a more light-hearted, and that's Ted Lasso. Have you ever watched that?
No, I have not watched that one.
It might be on Paramount. You have Paramount, right?
Yeah, yeah, I like Paramount.
Look it up. It's really funny, it's really good, and I don't know how else to describe it.
It's a niche program. It's really kind of Kansas City based in a lot of areas. It's really good.
I love it, and I loved it enough to put it number six, and it's still going on right now.
They're still making new episodes.
Number five, Game of Thrones. That thing.
I have never watched the sequel episode. Yes, I'm one of them.
Okay, no, that's fine. That's fine. I mean, I know people who haven't watched it.
It may not be for everybody.
I probably should.
It's really good. I think you'd like it.
That's the Duke's end to it.
Oh, yeah, oh, the Duke is? Okay, there you go. Ask her about it.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
It is really, really good. It's well written. It's very thrilling. It's good.
Yeah, he's big into the viking stuff like that.
Yeah, it's got a little bit of everything in there for you. It's fantastic.
Number four, Diner Dives and Drive Thru's. Or is it Dives Diners and Drive Thru's?
Whatever it is. Guy Ferry.
Okay, okay, okay.
I love that show.
Wow.
Every time it's on, I can't put it down.
I'm like, oh, I gotta go mow the lawn. Four hours later, if it's like, you know, it usually runs in blocks.
And they're watching it. Oh my God. Hey, Val, come here. Look at this barbecue in Memphis, man.
Come here. Look at this. It's right on Beale Street, man. We walked by it before.
You know, look at those fucking blocks of those burnt ends. Geez, man. The guy put his fork right, you know.
Anyhow, it is food porn and I fucking love it. It's great stuff.
So, anyhow.
It's funny how times change.
It is. It is. Everybody knows it's like Diner Dives and Drive Thru is fucking great. So, anyhow.
Number three, Gunsmoke.
That's a fucking fantastic show. Fantastic show.
Lauren Green, Michael Landon, I can't think the other all-star cast. A lot of people got their start there.
Lauren Green, Michael Landon, I can't think of who.
There's a couple other big names that got their start there, too. And it was just a great show about the Western, the Ponderosa.
You know, it's just fantastic. It's black and white. I think they did colorize it later.
But, man, if you ever want to just find an old show that's really, really good. We're talking like the 50s and 60s.
Dial in Gunsmoke. Take a look at that. If you don't know it, you know, just try to take a look at it. See what it is. It's good.
Number two is Breaking Bad.
That thing is a masterpiece.
I did not get into it. I, I, yeah.
Did you try to? Is that it?
No, I just didn't want to.
Oh, oh, oh, okay.
Because I knew what it was about.
Okay, okay. Got it. Got it. Read you.
Okay, we'll move right along.
Number one, and people that know me, know me.
The Sopranos.
That thing was just one of the best shows ever written.
It was, it was just, it was a masterpiece.
The acting on it was insanely good.
It came at you from all different angles.
It, everything meant something.
They never did have one episode, one, one shot in the show that didn't lead to something else or didn't have a subliminal type of meaning to it.
David Chase was just masterful at what he did.
This was a show that there's this mob boss, mean guy, did terrible things to people.
But this show made you feel sorry for him.
You made, you made him, it made you think like he was a victim.
You know, and also Gandolfini, James Gandolfini was so masterful at it too.
Edie Falco was even better.
I mean, it was just like the writing and the acting and the skill on that show.
And like I said, everything meant something subliminal or leading to something else.
And it shows you the before, during, and after effects of so many different things.
It shows you how ruthless people can be.
It shows you how nice people can become ruthless.
It shows you how ruthless people can become nice.
It shows you how some people are chaotic.
It shows you how some people have no pattern.
Some people are sociopaths and don't know it.
Some people are in reveling.
It's just, it's a masterful show.
And if you don't watch it, I think you're missing out.
If you don't ever try to watch it.
You might think that anyone that watches it truly will be a fan of it.
So anyhow, that's my number one.
So, alright.
I do agree, sir.
Yeah, I do, you know.
I've heard you talk about it too many times.
Yeah, that show is amazing.
Amazing.
Alright, should we take our second break and then we're going to come back with something you want to talk about?
Does that sound good?
Sounds good.
Alright, we'll be right back.
Yes, it's true.
Mark is an old bastard.
It's also true that Mark uses a lot of ibuprofen.
But Mark would like to tell you, if you see any pictures of him roofing ibuprofen,
it's obviously fake and you're to take the pictures and tear them up immediately.
Our constant pursuit for a real knee slapper.
It's strange insults from an alien.
Real hilarity.
You are dressed like an assistant debate coach at an Ohio State Middle School.
Two Shirley temples and a bottle of scotch will be right back.
Two douchebags and a microphone, as entertaining as a botulism burp.
Introducing Rob Radd's new book, How to Track Your Enemy by Scent.
That's right, smell your enemy before they get you.
Order this gem now and get a free virtual tour of Rob's secret bunker in Camdenton, Missouri.
Also receive a free copy of his new book, How to Clean Raw Sewage for Food.
Strange, but true.
Japanese soldier Ishiiwaki Iwano was presumed dead after World War II
and declared deceased in 2000.
Unbeknownst to his family, he had settled in Ukraine,
married to have three children and built a new life.
In 2006, feeling homesick after six decades,
83-year-old Ishiiwaki returned to Japan with his son,
reunited with a surviving family for the first time since the war.
Tomorrow morning, while grinding your coffee beans for your double mocha latte,
remember to not get your genitals caught in the grinder.
It really hurts. Who can afford plastic surgery?
Stay safe everyone!
Next up, Things Overheard in Hell.
It moves everybody. It can be cornice and a bumper crop.
Everybody can have as much as I want.
Yay!
Hello, this is Satan.
You might know me from my pet name, Inflation.
I'm here to tell you that there's no better way to relax than
listening to two douchebags in microphone by a nice warm fire at night.
I sit there and I reflect on all the souls I burned that day.
Enjoy.
Two douchebags in a microphone! I'm Mark in Kansas City and...
I'm Rob in Kansas in Missouri.
There you go.
So, Rob, we turn to you.
Okay, well, I've been noticing we have a lot of female listeners.
Mm-hmm.
I'm very proud of that. I'm very proud of that.
Through the emails, you know, and I personally have some female friends and family that listen.
Awesome.
So, ladies, this story's for you.
Most guys ain't gonna care.
Few people know that Barbie has parents.
Hm.
And wonder why we've never seen them.
How do they get parents with a bald smoothie? I don't get that.
How about any of them?
How did they reproduce?
I told you. I told you it's a lady.
Oh, okay, okay.
Barbie, like most girlypops, has parents.
However, those who grew up playing with her might feel a little uneasy since we can't remember knowing.
Our girl has not one but two parental figures in her life.
That's because her parents were originally only featured in the 1960s Barbie books written by Cynthia Lawrence and Betty Lou Maybe.
In the books, Barbie's parents are George Roberts and Margaret Rollins Roberts.
The 1960s books depict the Roberts family living in the fictional town of Willows, Wisconsin.
George works in their town as an engineer, and her mother is a homemaker.
The books also features Barbie's sisters, Skipper, Stacy, and Chelsea.
While Barbie's younger sister's name is Chelsea in the books,
the doll version of her has had several iterations including Shelly and Kelly in the 1990s and early 2000s.
I didn't know Barbie had parents.
I didn't either.
I didn't know anybody at all.
But like I said, I've been thinking over it. We do have a lot of female listeners.
No, I think that's good.
I want to include them, and I think a Barbie story would include them.
I think that's the way to go.
You see, Rob is your friend, ladies. He's your friend.
I mean, he's a fantastic guy.
I try. I try.
He's fucking handsome. Huge wiener. Huge wiener.
And he's got great ass cheek muscles from lifting steel.
He can crack a walnut with his ass cheeks. It's fantastic.
Rob, will you crack one right now for the audience?
No, not right now. Not right now.
Okay. All right.
That's a little embarrassing.
Okay. I'm sorry, Rob. I didn't mean to put you on the spot.
No, no. Now wait a second.
If we go on video, I guess mine.
There you go. And he wears his loincloth.
If we go on video, I guess mine.
You do the podcast in your loincloth, don't you, the one that you did the calendar shoot for?
Most times.
Okay. There you go. All right.
Most times.
Yep. And in case you're wondering, no, there's nothing underneath the loincloth except Rob. So there you go.
It's a little chilly tonight, so I have on sweats.
I understand. I understand.
Yeah. Yeah.
All right.
I'm in on weather.
Yes. All right.
Let's do some Ask Paddly's because some of these are kind of dated.
Okay. So we've got to get to them now.
Let's do it. I'm ready to put some good Ask Paddly's.
All right. Well, for those of you who do not know, because a lot of you do, because what I've been noticing and Rob noticing is we have people that email often.
We have people that listen to us all the time.
We have people that don't stray.
We have some solid fans so they know.
But for ones that don't know, this Ask Paddling came up a long time ago, Topher and I, when we were doing this show, instead of me and Rob.
And we were on vacation in Florida.
We're walking on the beach.
The sun was rising.
The gentle breeze was blowing our hair back.
And I stubbed my toe on something.
And we're not holding hands. Rob and his brother, the Duke, say we're holding hands.
But I'm saying two men can have a tender moment without holding hands.
But they don't believe it.
We were not.
So we're walking along and all said, oh, man, oh, man, my toe.
And Topher turned around and goes, hey, that looks like a genie bottle.
And I'm like, yeah, it was not.
And I look around and I'm like, hey, that looks like a genie bottle.
He goes, oh, no shit.
So I go over there, toe hurting and all, bleeding a little bit.
I pop the cork out and out comes a genie.
And the genie was very condescending.
He hated us.
He couldn't stand us.
He thought we were Neanderthals.
And he was probably right.
So anyhow, we go, ha, ha, we get three wishes.
And he rolls his eyes.
No, you don't.
He goes, you watch too much TV.
You get one wish and one wish only.
So I would pick large.
I would go high.
I would aim high with this, guys.
Like, I don't know, world peace.
The environment being good, no more disease, cancer's gone.
I would go that route, guys.
Topher and I looked at each other and said, hey, we want to be invisible so we can ass paddle people.
The genie very reluctantly, he rolled his eyes.
He said, very well.
You unleashed me, so I have to obey your command.
So once a month, you guys turn invisible and you can grab people and paddle them at will.
So this is Topher and I's monthly ass paddling that we have to people that need it.
So I think we made the right choice.
What do you think, Rob?
Yes, yes.
We did.
Yeah, you made the best choice.
Thank you, guys.
Yeah, I feel great.
Because now I get to enjoy it.
Yes.
And people that need ass paddling, let's get them.
So anyhow, one of us, we're both invisible.
One grabs a guy.
Another guy takes Old Sparky.
This is a replica of Old Sparky.
Old Sparky was the paddle that was administered to me several times at Cass Midway High School.
He is a rather large wooden object with a large handle on it and holes in it.
So you could get extra umph on your paddling.
And the holes left nice little rings on your ass cheeks and it hurt like hell.
It stung.
That's what stung, yeah.
That's what you'll say.
Well, the last I knew Old Sparky was hanging next to the football trophies in the main lobby when you walk into the building of Cass Midway.
He was hanging there with all of the state championships.
We had quite a few of them.
And Old Sparky is right in the middle.
They retired him and they went to something else.
But now I think they just like shake their finger at him.
You know, you're bad or something.
So anyhow, the first one that gets the ass paddling this month is Houston Texans.
They get an ass paddling for whining about the officials.
They agree.
You agree?
Yeah.
Bunch of crybabies.
Yeah.
Fuck you guys.
Anyhow, you get an ass paddling.
So tomorrow when you guys all of a sudden get grabbed and get an ass paddling, there you go.
It's because of that.
Next one, the air traffic controllers at Ronald Reagan for obvious reasons.
Ronald Reagan Airport near the Potomac.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
I got a cool story.
Well, I have a cool story.
It has to do with my work.
Oh, okay.
Okay.
After the ass paddlers, we'll go straight into that.
Okay.
Yeah.
I got a picture of my boss showing me on his phone.
Oh, okay.
About that.
Okay.
Sounds good.
And it has to do with my work.
Okay.
Yeah.
Go ahead.
Okay.
We'll do the rest of the ass paddling.
We'll go straight into that.
Ticket scalpers.
For Super Bowl tickets so high they resemble Snoop Dogg.
Yeah.
Ticket scalpers are able to what?
Yeah.
Oh, I agree.
Yep.
So you ticket scalpers, if you've sold tickets and scalped them or if you're there right
now scalping them, you'll be grabbed up.
You'll be bent over one of our knees and you'll be spanked appropriately with old sparky replica.
So the next one, Troy Aikman gets an ass paddling and that's for as the refs are being wrong
comments.
And he should not make comments like that because he is a commentator and a commentator
is supposed to be not taking sides.
Neutral.
I know this was the Tex-Assens that when you're from, you played for Dallas and maybe you
have a little bit of, I don't know, loyalty to them.
Shut your mouth, blockhead.
You're an idiot.
All right.
So the next one, the Pro Bowl for being lame.
I mean, what else does he need to say?
It's flag football, glorified flag football with a bunch of stupid games in between and
a bunch of ha ha's and knee slapping.
This is the runner up fest.
Anybody that's not in the Super Bowl goes to this thing.
So it's the runner up fest.
Anyone that didn't quite make it, they're over there at the Pro Bowl right now going,
I'm the best.
I got the MVP.
Yeah.
Okay.
I got the MVP.
We'll take another ring, fuck face.
All right.
Yeah.
Next one, Cass County, Missouri for the stupid fireplace statue that is going to be torn down.
They need it.
I think I need four or five ass paddlings in a row.
What do you think?
Okay.
I'll go ahead and say it.
Okay.
I'll go ahead and put it up for both.
Okay.
All the same.
Yes.
All the same.
Okay.
All the same.
As much as you talk about it, yeah.
I'll bring it.
Yeah.
All the same.
Okay.
Hall of Fame.
Cass County, Missouri is in the Hall of Fame for the fireplace statue.
And also, I think that they should get a paddle for every year that stupid statue's been out
there.
So you're in the Hall of Fame and you get, I don't know, 20 ass paddlings or however
long that stupid statue.
We're going to look it up and we're going to find out.
And that's how many paddlings you get.
So Cass County, I'm sorry for your ass.
So next one.
My ingrown toenail gets an ass paddling because it fucking hurts.
It might hurt me because it's on me, but it gets an ass paddling.
I don't know if an ingrown toenail has an ass, but I'll find it.
And I'm going to paddle it.
Next one.
Anyone who buys Super Bowl tickets unless they have an assigned seat and are wearing
red gets an ass paddling.
Agreed?
And then finally, we're going to go ahead and authorize a preemptive paddle to Tony
Romo and Jim Nance because we know they're going to need one sometime during the broadcast.
Agreed?
Oh yeah.
This is the first time ever we're doing a preemptive one, but this is a special occasion.
And my money goes on Tony.
Yeah, Tony will be the first.
Jim Nance.
Yeah, my money goes on Tony.
And also when Jim Nance is sucking up to the loser like he always does after he got done
like I don't know, two hours of motherfucking him, that's when he gets his ass paddling
when he's on TV sucking up to him.
We grab him invisible and throw him across our knee and spank him.
All right.
And also he gets a preemptive one too.
He'll get both of them.
So and Tony Romo, we'll just paddle him the whole time until the Super Bowl is over.
How's that sound?
And that is it.
So we'll make him our Super Bowl celebration.
There we go.
That sounds great to me.
All right.
You know, Tony Romo never goes down there on the field because, you know, he's afraid
of Super Bowls.
Anyhow, I true.
No, no, he's used to players hitting.
That's right.
He's gun shy, isn't he?
Yeah.
All right, Rob, you had a story from your boss.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
You were talking about the unfortunate plane and helicopter crash.
Yes.
My boss, his son is a pilot.
And he sent him pictures from there.
And supposedly these pictures were on Fox News and they were live reports.
And what they were showing was the fire rescue and everybody arriving.
Well, we have a style of trailer that we sell to fire and rescue.
That my boss had a picture of one on scene on his phone.
And his son told him, he said, Dad, your guys trailers are all over this place.
Wow.
Did we make a ton of ice?
And he's actually given me an order for three of those trailers as he's showing me this
picture.
No kidding.
Yeah.
And the thing is, these trailers take a lot of parts.
To cut one out, you know, it takes a little time.
Well, you guys are.
If you're an average person, it takes like a half a day.
I've cut so many of these out, I don't even have to look at the list anymore.
And I always do everything in a certain order.
I could knock out three and a half a day.
That is really good.
Now, Rob, correct me if I'm wrong.
You're not just a production shop.
You're a custom shop also.
Yeah.
Because all these trailers, fire rescue trailers, we have what we call accessories.
You can have a water, you can have motor mounts, which what they are is they're a double trailer.
They're kind of like a car hauler.
They can pull one of their small inflatable boats up on top, raise it up, and pull another
one underneath it.
And we can put tool mount toolboxes on them so they can carry equipment and all kinds
of stuff.
Yeah, they're one of our biggest sellers.
That sounds like a real cool trailer.
Yeah.
We've had Miami Dade buy some.
Yeah, we sell them all over.
Anybody that does water rescue.
No wonder you guys stay so busy.
That's why, right there.
Yeah.
Okay.
I was always wondering.
That's a lot of it.
Because right now, I believe that probably boat trailers-
Boat trailers, too.
Yeah, yeah.
I know you guys do.
But I mean, right now, a lot of times the economy gets funky, a new president comes
in.
Everyone kind of holds back and holds their breath.
And so the sales get a little soft.
You guys are supplemented by trailers like that.
So you get like maybe government contracts per se or something like that, right?
Oh yeah, yeah.
We are known every year right before hurricane season.
We're already prepared to build a few.
Very cool.
No wonder they pay so well for that area.
They've been known to be used down in Louisiana, Texas, everywhere.
That's how come that shop pays so well for that area.
Because you know the area you're in does not pay nearly what you get, traditionally.
Right, right.
And the benefits are good, too.
That's because you guys have some really big-time clients.
Oh yeah, the benefits.
Yeah.
I got to give them credit.
They've really helped us out on that.
Well to sell on that level you have to have dependable, skilled people.
And that's how you keep them.
Yeah.
Wow, very cool.
Fancy.
Yeah, yeah.
Wow, I didn't know that.
I mean I knew what you did took a lot of skill, but man that just brings it to a whole other
ballpark, Rob.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean you take care of your employees, your employees are going to take care of you.
Yes.
And that's the way we work.
That's the way we run.
There's a lot of places that don't particularly believe in that.
And you know who you are.
So I'm glad that place does.
All right.
Well I got something kind of related about a tool that a guy ordered.
Want to hear about it?
Yeah, sure.
Okay.
A man was shocked after he ordered a drill from AliExpress.
Well this is allegedly, and received a photograph of the tool instead.
In November 2024 Sylvester Franklin 68 ordered the DIY appliance and a pressure washer for
$40 from the budget online store.
On December 9th the package arrived and instead of a new drill and pressure washer, the retiree
received a picture of the drill and a screw.
A picture of the drill and a screw Rob.
Instead of the actual part.
He said he has complained to AliExpress but has still not received a refund.
Sylvester, a former mechanic and repairman from Savannah, Georgia said, I paid around
$40.
All I got given was a picture of the drill and a screw.
I was very upset.
That's fucked up.
A picture of the drill and a screw.
Someone's warped down there.
Allegedly.
I contacted them for a refund straight away.
They have not got back to me.
I'm retired.
They took advantage of me.
They need to pay for what I have done.
Let's see.
I don't know why he said what I have done.
I am retired.
They took advantage of me.
They need to pay for what I have done.
Oh okay.
I guess he means they need to reimburse him.
I was very upset when I opened the box.
I am a mechanic and repairman.
I use tools I get all the time to work on my car and around the house.
This is bad.
They're going to take advantage of me.
Don't scam nobody.
When I pay for something, I expect to get what I paid for.
AliExpress has been contacted for comment that has not gotten back to this news article
yet that I know of.
I haven't found a rebuttal or anything.
All right, Rob.
So if you want a picture of the drill, I guess.
Okay.
I guess I have another T-Bone to me.
Yeah.
I think you're right.
Allegedly.
Yes.
Allegedly.
All right.
You got something, Rob?
Yeah, I do.
Okay.
Egyptologists agree that laborers who worked on Giza's pyramids received rations that included
beer.
Okay.
I didn't know beer was that old.
I didn't know either.
However, the exact amount of beer is not as securely established as social media posts
about the claims suggest.
For years, a rumor has circulated online that the workers who built Egypt's pyramids of
Giza received daily rations of four to five liters of beer.
Okay.
Examples of the claim appeared on social media platforms, including ads, Reddit, and Instagram.
The claim has also appeared in popular books, articles, and Wikipedia entry for beer.
So you don't read it yet, but in beer, it'll hold us up.
Okay.
In short, it is true that Egyptologists believe that the ancient Egyptian state distributed
beer rations to workers who built Giza's pyramids.
As we will explain in more detail later, yeah, it goes on further up.
Yeah.
However, based on a review of the available research, the exact amount of beer those workers
received was not as securely established as social media posts suggest.
But that's cool.
That is.
Very.
Oh man, come on.
They were building a pit, had some heavy ass rock.
They put in a hard-baked work in that desert, give the poor guys some beer.
I agree.
A hundred percent.
Yeah.
It sounds like they did.
See?
Yes.
And who would have thought that beer would even be around?
So I mean.
Yeah, I didn't think so, but the greater end it was back there.
Hmm.
Well, you know what?
They had to have something, right?
They didn't have air conditioning.
Yeah.
They didn't have comfort chairs.
They didn't have an ice movie to watch after work.
But what they did have was beer.
So that made everything okay, right?
Yeah.
All right.
Thank you, Rob.
Interesting stuff there.
I've got something interesting here.
From old recliners to ankle monitors, here are the crazy objects washing up on Long Beach.
A lazy boy recliner, an exercise bike, and a felon's ankle monitor are among the bizarre
things washing up on our beaches.
We find a lot of interesting.
An ankle monitor I can see.
Someone cut it off and threw it in the ocean, I guess.
Yeah, I've heard of a few people that just cut them off.
Never did them any good.
No, no, no.
They always catch them.
They threw it in the ocean thinking they drowned or something.
Yeah.
I don't know.
The guy must have drowned.
It's in the ocean.
Okay.
We find a lot of interesting items each week, and we're always curious to how they ended
up there.
Matthew Krosta, founder of the volunteer organization Long Beach Cleanup, told The Post.
This is from the New York Post.
The lazy boy recliner really had the best sunset on the entire beach.
Long Beach Cleanup, which meets from March to November, was launched in the summer of
2020 by Krosta, a Long Beach, Long Island native, whose mission was to show people that
volunteering isn't a chore, it can actually be fun.
Also a head of uneaten broccoli was washed up, and you ought to see the picture.
It looks pristine.
I guess the salt water might have preserved it.
It looks like something you'd see in your, I don't know, in your bowl of, I don't know,
Kung Pao or something.
We don't find out the stories behind them because they just kind of pop up some mornings,
but I'm sure it's just kids having fun, he said.
The group also stumbles upon a handful of messages and bottles each year.
Recently, they came across a letter that traveled to Nassau County Beach from the Garden State
in just three days.
We all opened it together.
It was from someone in New Jersey, and it was from three days earlier, Krosta said.
So that fact was like, wow, it made it here already on the coast, I guess.
During their busy summer season, this group hits the sand weekly at 6.30 p.m. to tidy
up after brazing beach goers who have left everything from a head of broccoli to half
of a bowling ball behind.
Last year, Krosta's crew removed the staggering 2,616 pounds of trash.
My favorite I just reposted a week ago was a huge metal cross that washed up the shore
at Ocean Manor Resort.
This is me right here.
Anyhow, they really don't have a clue of where it came from.
They have an engraved bronze plaque on the bottom of it that says, our holy gift from
the sea.
I love it.
It is fantastic.
But this is way down in Florida.
This is nowhere near where they found all this stuff.
But I posted pictures on Facebook and Instagram.
Did you see them, Rob?
I'm not on Instagram.
Oh, well, I posted on Facebook, too.
Oh, no.
No, I am not seeing them.
I reposted it about a week ago.
Look at it.
It's a huge metal cross.
And they don't know where it came from.
There's a couple of hurricanes before that, so they think that maybe it came from overseas
during a hurricane.
But it's a very heavy, huge metal cross.
And it landed right in front of the resort side of Ocean Manor Beach Resort, where we
used to go all the time.
And we had no idea it was there.
I just got done reading about it, and I thought, wow, that would be cool to see.
And we go out to the beach, and there it was.
And I go, Val, come here.
Come here.
And I go, here's the cross right here.
Because it didn't say exactly where it was at.
It just said that it washed up on a beach in Florida.
But that's where it's at.
If you guys want to see this giant metal cross, and on there it says, our holy gift from the
sea.
And people put prayer cards on and all that.
But you're not supposed to touch the cross.
They don't want anyone touching it.
It's very cool.
Just go to my Facebook, and go about a week down.
You'll see it.
It's very cool.
So anyhow, Rob, you got something?
Yeah, I do.
You know, is Steven Tyler retired?
Yeah, but he's unretired, isn't he?
Well, Steven Tyler made a return on the stage over the weekend, just months after retiring.
Oh, so he's not unretired.
He just came back for a show.
For one show, yes.
Okay, damn it.
Okay.
Who now?
Who knows?
We'll see.
The Aerosmith truck man hit the stage for Tyler's sixth annual Jam for Janie's Grammy Awards
viewing party in Los Angeles.
Working his first appearance in September.
Yeah, that was a long retirement.
Yeah.
Kind of like Kiss.
Kind of like Kiss, huh?
Oh, yeah.
Kiss is still unretired on some parts of the show.
Okay, moving on, moving on, moving on.
Okay.
Before we get sidetracked.
Yeah, you're right.
Thank you.
Tyler joined by Aerosmith bassist Tom Hamilton performed for Billboard with Xtreme's new
band court.
And the six-song set featured a re-edition of Aerosmith's Toys and Addict, Xtreme's
On the Words with Mick Fleetwood and Dream On with Lainey Wilson.
Cool.
For the report, he was joined by Hamilton and the Black Crows, Chris Robinson for performances
of Sweet Emotion.
Chris Robinson for three months Sweet Emotion.
Oh, and Walk This Way.
Oh, cool.
He then closed out with a cover of Led Zeppelin's Heartbreaker.
Nice.
This performance was Tyler's second since his vocal injury, which anybody that don't
know, he fractured his larynx.
That's why he retired.
Yeah.
So I guess he's not officially unretired because I'm guessing he still can't do a tour.
No, probably not.
It was a one-night deal and you heard something, I hope you had.
I mean, come on, on more than words, Mick Fleetwood.
Good point.
Yeah.
Wow, very cool.
And he had Nuno Bettencourt backing him up.
I saw that.
Yeah.
Nuno Bettencourt's a Hilda singer, too.
He sounded great.
Hilda guitarist, Hilda singer.
Yeah.
Very cool, Rob.
Thank you.
Yeah.
All right.
You want to end this bitch or you want to keep going?
Yeah, actually I'm about done.
All right.
Sounds good to me.
I had my priority off so I'm gonna have to work a little extra hard.
Okay.
Right on.
But I am working seven and things on Saturdays.
I got more of my time.
I have stuff I have to do, right, so I'm taking the day off.
Yep.
To be honest, they scheduled around me taking off.
Well, you're very important to the company.
What you do, they need really bad and they don't have very many people.
Yeah.
They don't have anyone else that can do it really, so there you go.
Well, that's pretty much anybody in our company.
We don't have many people prostrate.
My son is, yeah, he's pretty grustering.
That's cool.
Good.
But he could step in and say, hey, I need you over here today.
He could go do it.
That's very cool.
Good.
Except for him.
He could go on that.
And everybody hates helping me through the day.
So I say, y'all are tired.
True.
Well, you lift all that steel, of course, and that's how come you can crack a walnut
with your ass.
And what do I do?
I come home and podcast.
That's what we look after.
Well, you crack walnuts with your ass cheeks, right?
Like I said, we get ready, otherwise I just might prove it.
That's true.
True.
In his loincloth.
All right, everybody, thank you for listening.
Appreciate it.
Good night, assholes.
Oh, no.
Looks like the show's over, kids.
Mark has explosive diarrhea and can't afford a wireless mic.
Fear not, assholes.
They'll be back invading your ear holes soon.