We are the music creeps.
Gotta stop doing that, I cracked myself up every time.
We are the music creeps.
We are, are, are, the music creeps.
Alright, each time I try to make that worse and worse.
I know, I love it too.
Because either you or I start cracking up on it.
One of us will.
It's just so awful.
We spare no expense for this podcast, do we?
I remember one time you double-based it.
I think the first one you did, you double-based it.
I probably so.
Alright, this is Music Creeps like you probably realize by now.
And this is where we talk about music and come up with weird scenarios about music and
we love this.
This is kind of like me and Topher's baby because we are so music oriented.
Yes, yes, absolutely.
Okay, I've got a question for you and this is something that I've argued with people
a long time now and I'm certain I'm right on this.
Nirvana.
Yeah.
You could say an iconic band, right?
Very much so.
Oh yeah, yeah.
Okay.
Nirvana, they were fizzling out.
In utero sales, anyone that genuinely remembers it and doesn't romanticize it, they know in
utero sales were lagging well behind all the other previous releases including the re-releases.
It wasn't getting the airplay either.
It wasn't getting any airplay.
Nobody cared.
They played heart shaped box for about two weeks and it was gone.
All apologies for a couple weeks and that's it.
And then it was gone, yeah.
So the world tour was not a huge hit.
No, don't imagine.
The tour was played by Cobain's drug addiction and I know because I saw it.
And he could hardly talk, he could hardly play, he couldn't sing.
He was obviously fucked up on something.
Yeah.
Okay, so I pose this question.
If Cobain did not kill himself, would Nirvana be remembered as an iconic band like they
are now?
You know, I'm going to have to say no.
Same here.
Because they had three albums basically.
They had Bleach, which nobody heard of until.
That was a re-release.
Yeah.
And then they had their second album.
It smells like nevermind.
Nevermind.
Yeah.
And that was enormous.
And because Nevermind was enormous, they went back and found Bleach and said, oh, let's
look at this too.
And people realized, yeah, that's not very good.
No, they were completely different sounding too.
Yeah.
And that was back like-
Different drummer too.
Yeah, different drummer.
No Dave Grohl.
No.
And then In Utero came out afterwards, didn't do as well.
Kurt was like really, really close to hiring a cellist as a fourth member of Nirvana.
Yeah, that's right.
Yeah.
Because that's the direction he wanted to go.
So really Nirvana had one good album.
Yeah.
And the song was, the songs on In Utero were all painful songs, describing how he felt.
He wanted to name the album.
You can look this up.
I Hate Myself, I Want to Die.
Yeah.
That was his original title.
Yeah.
And the record, Geffen said, no fucking way.
We can't sell that.
Yeah.
And he almost didn't make the album.
He said, well, fuck you.
I don't want to do it then.
And there was a bunch of infighting.
Nova Selick was like tired of his antics and Dave Grohl was already working on the Foo
Fighter stuff.
Oh yeah.
He was two feet out the door.
Yeah.
He was already, he saw the writing on the wall.
Yeah.
And I agree with you.
They would have been known as a really good band, but they would have been known pretty
much as a flash in the pan, more than they are this iconic band that started to grudge
because they did not really.
Yeah.
They've been compared to the Beatles in some ways, but not a chance.
No, not even close.
The Beatles had a number of albums and were enormously successful.
They're still influencing music.
Yeah.
Nirvana had an influence for about five years.
Yeah, five, six.
And then other bands superseded him.
Nirvana had one album that was decent.
And I know that there are people who are looking into the death of Kurt Cobain, who are sure
that he was murdered and not a suicide.
If things went down like they say, very questionable.
Yeah.
But I don't know if that's true.
Go ahead.
Well, I saw the interview with the coroner who examined Kurt Cobain's body.
And he said the amount of heroin in his system would have rendered him unconscious before
he even finished pushing the plunger in.
So how in the world did he take it out of his arm, put it back in the case, along with
the tourniquet, all neatly in place, and close the lid?
Couldn't have happened.
Wow.
He was unconscious for like a half second after that heroin hit his system.
So somebody else was there who cleaned up.
I've got a question.
Yeah.
Was that enough heroin to kill him?
Oh, way more.
Okay, so he was trying to kill himself anyhow.
Maybe the perpetrator didn't know.
No, the working theory is, going along with what you said, Nirvana was failing.
It was on the verge of petering out.
But there's still a shit ton of money to be made under the right circumstances.
Courtney Love was on her way out.
Kurt was tired of her.
Yeah.
She was lousy for me.
Kurt had just managed to get his stomach ailment figured out.
So he was no longer in horrible stomach pain.
And he was starting to get off the drugs.
So the current theory is, Courtney Love wanted Kurt Cobain dead so she could inherit all
the music rights and all the money and capitalize on the fame and fortune.
The record company also had an incentive because left to go on its own, Nirvana would peter
out and everyone would say, yeah, what do we ever see in them?
But if the front man goes out in a spectacular death, then he's a martyr to the band and
suddenly you sell millions.
And also he fits a depressive nerve.
Yeah.
He's somebody that everyone would believe had killed himself.
Yeah, yeah.
But the profiling...
The narrative then was depressed, angst.
That's why I did that Gen X little spoof that I do on the deuces.
You were the change.
You were the angst, the noncompliance.
And now you're buying a fucking boat.
We all do it.
It's just parody is all it is.
But it does make you think.
Everybody succumbs to capitalism.
That's the way it is.
Shiny objects get our attention.
But that's why I did that is because it fit the narrative so well.
This guy was so sick of it, he blew his head off.
Fuck you world, I showed you.
And then every depressed teenager around bought their album and everything they could get.
I'm pretty sure that whoever is in charge of Taylor Swift's career already has an exit
strategy worked out.
I'm sure too.
They probably have about six exit strategies worked out depending on the circumstances.
I agree.
That's just good business.
It is.
So no matter what happens with Taylor Swift in the future, the companies that are making
tons of money off of her are going to figure out a way to keep doing that.
Yes.
And I think that's what happened with Nirvana and Kurt Cobain, they saw the money train
coming to an end unless they took action.
So they did.
Well virtually every, okay, that's very possible.
I admit that.
But another thing that I have to say, just being an advocate on the other side, is this
right here.
Okay.
Every death that's been done in rock prematurely has been murder.
So it very well could happen or could be conspiracy because that's what we love.
Yeah.
Now there was a guy who did an on-air interview with a local radio station said, yeah, Courtney
Love paid me 50 grand to go shoot her husband.
She wanted him shot in the head with a shotgun.
Specifically she wanted him hit that.
And she wanted it to make it look like suicide.
I believe it's very possible.
And then like a week later or so he went on to a TV program and said the same story and
passed a polygraph test.
And then shortly after that he disappeared and no one can ever find him again.
Interesting huh?
It is.
But I'm playing the other side here.
I'm not motherfucking this at all because I believe it myself.
How about a few weeks before he was dead in Paris the overdose that he tried to kill himself?
What about that?
Maybe that was their first attempt to have him quote unquote kill himself or accidentally
die of an overdose and it didn't work out.
So then they implemented the backup plan.
Well why didn't he come out and say it?
People are after me.
I think they're going to kill me.
Maybe he didn't know.
That could be.
It's just all this is something to think about.
Because the prevailing theory on his eventual death is he took the first shot of heroin
himself and then as soon as he was out of it someone gave him the second massive dose
which looked on ossopsia like one big massive dose.
So they couldn't tell that through the autopsy.
No.
That's too bad.
So if he injected himself and then 30 seconds later somebody injected him again with a massive
dose that would look like one injection.
Yeah and also the heroin theory, what I know about heroin is you black out.
You shit and piss yourself and black out and when you black out you're on this heavenly
high.
That's right.
Yeah.
Somebody once described it as the best orgasm you've ever had times a thousand.
Yes.
So this euphoria that you get.
So he's in this euphoria.
How did he push a gun?
How did he put it up to his head?
I would even want to at that point.
Yeah.
So the theory is somebody gave him the second dose, put everything away and then staged
the suicide and left.
And then he wasn't found for several days.
In fact somebody had to call in and say hey go check on him.
For three days.
Because they wanted his body found and nobody had been finding it yet.
So they had to go say hey go find his body.
We want this done.
For three days teenagers were around his house crying with candles.
They could see his feet in the window.
Look this up it's true.
That's awful.
There's a big article on Spend magazine I believe.
I don't even know if it's around anymore.
It shows the picture that a teenager took of both his sneakers on the floor with obviously
legs connected to it.
As a matter of fact I bet you could look it up on your phone right now or I could.
Teenagers took that picture.
They knew what happened.
Whether they knew it was murder or they thought it was suicide.
But they knew this for three days.
And it didn't gather anything until finally they were like well we can't find him nobody
knows where he's at.
All these teenagers are like over at his house in a pervage or whatever.
Or the worship in the dark lord or whatever they were doing.
And it could be the three days were built in to let some of the evidence degrade in
the meantime.
You know because crime scene investigation is pretty good and pretty complex.
It takes way longer than they show on TV.
Yeah they don't come up with an answer the same day.
But they are pretty good so if you can let a few days go by and a body sit at room temperature
there's a lot of evidence it's just going to go.
It's just going to deteriorate because once you liquefy they have nothing.
You know that's pretty much it.
And I'm pretty sure probably without being too gross the bottom of him was probably close
to being liquefied.
Yeah.
You know so anyhow because we are 90% water.
Think of it this way.
Someone paints a picture and you can look at it and say oh I know what it is.
And then while the paint's still wet you go up there with your both hands and you smear
everything around in like for a minute.
And then try to tell what it used to be.
You can't tell.
That's a great analogy.
Yeah.
And the longer the body sits there and decomposes eventually stuff that you just can't find
out is just gone forever just because.
I agree.
So yeah you know there's a lot of things that didn't add up and I you know I tend to believe
what you said.
Yeah.
But I had to give the other side to be fair.
So it'd be interesting to look to see musicians and bands whose careers you later learned
were on a downturn and they happened to die at just the convenient spot to make the band
legendary.
Jimi Hendrix supposedly was murdered.
Yeah.
So I don't know.
There was a theory about Jim Morrison.
Yeah yeah.
You know on that last album LA Woman you could tell his voice was gone.
Oh no I know.
He wasn't going to be able to sing anymore and he didn't even want to.
He wasn't showing up.
Yeah.
He was dumb with it.
He was on to something else.
He moved to Europe because he didn't want to be in the music anymore.
So his whole thing was he was a tortured poet.
Yeah.
And he wanted to live his life as such.
Yeah.
So yeah.
But you could make a case for the Doors legacy being sealed by Jim Morrison spectacularly
dying at a young age.
Absolutely.
And becoming a member of the 27 Club.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
So any time things work out really conveniently for the people making money I was trying to
look at it a little.
Me too.
Yeah.
Okay.
So it just kind of happened that you made billions off this situation.
Yeah I don't buy it.
What a coincidence.
Yeah I don't buy those coincidences for a second.
Well I'll be good and damned.
What a you know.
Alright.
Well I got another question.
Sure.
What bands have completely destroyed their legacy?
No.
Motley Crue.
The number one Motley Crue.
Yeah absolutely.
Ummm.
You know I was tempted to say Pink Floyd but I think they rescued that.
Roger Waters did everything he could to kind of sully that whole experience.
They got it stopped soon enough.
They stopped the bleeding soon enough to where they didn't.
Yeah.
But there are a couple of releases that probably should have never happened.
So kind of yes.
I would say Oasis and Black Crows are kind of in there because of the fighting and the
bickering.
What about Alice in Chains with the new lead singer?
Yeah you know I listened to a few of the songs with the new singer.
They're too light.
They're okay but it's just not the same.
It's light.
Yeah it is.
Without Wayne Staley you don't have that dark feel to it.
It's not the same.
Yeah I'd say.
Nine Inch Nails.
Nine Inch Nails yeah as soon as Trent Reznor became mentally more healthy.
It was done.
The Stone Temple Pilots were kind of that way.
When their singer cleaned up and got off the heroin their music just wasn't as good.
Yeah I agree.
But as far as working to actually destroy their legacy.
Who's on whom I'm thinking about?
Kiss is coming close with all the crap they're pulling with avatars and Nine Farewell Tours.
Kiss did it.
I think they jumped the shark per se a long time ago.
Yeah and the reason is because how many times did they retire?
At least four.
Yeah and how long did they go on their last end of the road tour retiring?
It's comical and now like you said well we are retired but our legacy our avatars are
not.
Bullshit.
That's just complete bullshit.
Eagles.
Oh the Eagles yes.
Yes because they were so popular and they were so accessible and they're like you know
such a crossover.
Everybody liked the Eagles pretty much and in the last 10-12 years it's just a relentless
vicious money grab.
Everything the Eagles touch it's like give us your god damn money.
Oh I know.
That's their attitude.
It's like screw God.
I'll go listen to your old albums.
I don't care about you anymore.
Yeah I know.
I hate them.
I hate them individually and collectively.
I tend not to listen to the Eagles anymore just because you know I liked them okay at
the time but now that I know what penny pinching greedy MFers they are it's like I don't like
them at all now.
How about Van Halen?
They put out some more albums with David Lee Roth.
Yeah and with Gary Sharone.
Well I thought that was a good album.
Yeah it just wasn't really Van Halen.
The songs were way too long.
It was poppy.
Like a million long solos and every guitar effect Eddie had.
Yeah they could have called that something else and it had been okay but not Van Halen.
That should have been an Eddie Van Halen solo album.
Yes it should have been.
It should have been.
Yeah Van Halen kind of but not quite to the same degree but yeah they did kind of jump
the shark there.
Yeah so.
Let's see who else?
It's good.
It's really their legacy.
Do you think Def Leppard did with all the resident C's and all that?
Yeah I think so.
I think everyone is kind of tired of them.
What about Aerosmith?
Yeah because what did it for me with Aerosmith is when their drummer Joey Kramer who is a
spectacular drummer.
Oh I know I loved his stuff.
He had an illness and he had to drop out for a while so they had a replacement and then
when he got healthy again the band said you have to audition for your old spot.
Oh yeah I remember that.
Fuck that.
And then he worked hard and he rehearsed a lot and he went in and he felt he really killed
it in his audition.
They said no we don't want you anymore.
We want somebody else.
Because somebody else was cheaper.
So they screwed over their band member to save money.
I agree.
And they waited until he was injured and couldn't really defend himself and they worked him
out of the band.
Yeah.
Yeah that sucks.
Yeah they destroyed their legacy.
I'm hearing now that Steven Tyler might be recovering and might be able to sing again.
Oh really?
I really don't give a damn.
I don't either.
I'm not paying any more attention to them because they're awful human beings and I don't
want anything to do with them.
Yeah I'm the same way.
I don't care about them either.
And I didn't know that Steven Tyler is getting better.
Yeah I've just been seeing that the last few days.
They were sure that this was permanent and done but it's like huh he's starting to get
better.
Even Joe Perry says he's getting better.
He's improving.
This might actually become a thing again.
I know Dream Theater's singer James LeBree.
He got food poisoning on one tour.
It was a shrimp dish he had somewhere in Asia.
Food poisoning was so bad he threw up so forcefully for so long that he actually destroyed his
voice.
Oh.
And he had to learn how to sing all over again.
Oh I remember reading it.
Yeah.
And he doesn't sound exactly like he used to but he still sounds good.
He still sounds good.
Yeah.
How about Skid Row?
They have demolished their reputation with different lead singers.
Three or four different ones.
Subpar music.
Yeah.
I think Poison kind of the same way because C.C. DeVille just decided to be a brat every
opportunity.
Yeah.
Yeah I agree.
I agree.
Alright.
If there's any more it's going to be too hard to think about.
Yeah I think we got the main ones.
Competitive air guitar and competitive drumming.
Is this valid?
I guess so but it really doesn't have anything to do with music.
No you know if you want to do like charade type stuff yes.
Yeah.
But it's not musicians.
Yeah I mean it's like karaoke.
Yeah.
You know or I mean it's not even karaoke.
I mean imagine lip syncing along to somebody else's music and thinking you're an accomplished
musician.
Yeah.
So air guitar is fun.
Air drumming is fun but it really doesn't have anything to do with music.
I agree.
You know musicians could do it I guess if they wanted to but you know get on stage and
actually play the instrument in a live setting where it matters and it counts.
And if you don't have the understanding of music you're going to have trouble.
You're going to have a difficult time.
I agree.
It's not all about just being visually appealing.
I agree.
So you know they can do it if they want.
I have no problems with it.
I don't either.
It's just not musicians.
Yeah.
Okay.
Hey let's make up our own punk band.
Ooh.
Okay we need a catchy name.
What do you suggest?
I got one.
How about Rancid Band-Aids?
I like that.
Mine I want to be the Dead Vaughan Eriks.
Ooh.
Yeah.
I like that.
Yeah the Dead Vaughan Eriks.
That's the little catcher that Rancid Band-Aids are.
Yeah.
But I like Rancid Band-Aids.
That will be the singer Rancid Band-Aids.
Yeah yeah Rancid Band-Aids is the lead singer of the Dead Vaughan Eriks.
Okay I got this right here.
Listen to the dish bags dropped this morning.
Rob was screaming at us about these fight songs when you're in a fist fight.
Yeah.
And he added a Molly Hatchet song.
He said you mentioned Molly Hatchet.
Yeah.
And he was like waiting for us to say the song and he was like pissed.
He's like damn it you guys sold it.
Yeah I said Bounty Hunter by Molly Hatchet.
Yeah.
Well Rob came up with a song that he says is the ultimate fight song for Molly Hatchet.
So listen to it because and it's right at the first so if you hate the podcast you can
listen to the first of it I'll tell you.
Yeah.
And finally what I got here is what are some of the best stage names ever?
Oh wow.
You know there are so many in the punk era.
Oh gosh.
That's the old like Johnny Rotten.
Stiff Bader's.
Sid Vicious.
Pauly Styrene.
Yeah Sid Vicious is a good one.
How about The Edge?
I thought that was Courtney.
Yeah.
Yeah that was kind of cool.
Yeah.
Sting was okay.
Sting was okay because he kind of looked like a Sting.
Yeah.
And you know the guitar player for the police was Andy Summers.
Yeah.
And Sting's name was Gordon Sumner.
Oh yeah yeah that's right.
So there would be a little difficulty there.
Yeah.
I think Kiss did a good job.
Because you know Stanley Eisen became Paul Stanley.
Yeah he did good on that.
Yeah.
And Ace Freely his real name's Paul but I like the way he came up with Ace.
Yeah.
A lot of good stage names.
They didn't want two Pauls in the band so yeah.
True yeah.
Let's see.
David Lee Roth and I don't think that's a stage name but it's a great name.
It is.
It is a good name.
Vince Neil is a great stage name.
Jesse James Dupree.
That's a good one.
Yep.
I played with a guitar player whose name was John Axford.
Oh I like that one.
And I thought that's an excellent name for a guitar player, Axford.
Oh yeah yeah yeah.
Rockenfeld from Queensryche or Tesla.
Queensryche.
Queensryche yeah.
Is it Steve Rockenfeld or John Rockenfeld or something like that?
I think it's Steve.
Steve Rockenfeld.
Who was it?
The drummer?
Yngwie Malmsteen.
The drummer for Paul McCartney and Wings was a guy named Denny Lane.
Denny Lane yeah.
Which sounded like Penny Lane.
Yes.
But that was a stage name.
So that was a good choice.
That was.
They would remind you of a Beatles hit every time you saw the band members name.
Yeah Denny Lane.
That was brilliant.
That was.
That was really good.
Oh here's a good one.
That was really obscure.
The drummer for Supertramp was a guy named Bob Siebenberg.
And he was American living and working in Europe without the proper visa.
Uh huh.
So and Supertramp was a European band.
So he couldn't use his real name or immigration would find him.
So he changed his stage name was Bob C. Benberg.
His real name was Bob Siebenberg.
Bob Siebenberg.
Oh I love it.
The fun thing was he was a endorser for Ludwig and Drums.
Uh huh.
But he would never show up for the publicity shoots because he didn't want the European
authorities to know who he was and recognize him.
So he spent years and years hiding from the authorities in Europe because he didn't want
to pay taxes and get the visa.
That's good.
We overlooked two of our favorites.
Alice Cooper and Ozzy Osbourne.
That's right.
Alice Cooper was Vincent Damon Furnier.
Uh huh.
And Ozzy Osbourne was John Osbourne.
Yeah.
Yeah and he had Ozzy forever.
Yeah.
Since a child he was named Ozzy.
Yeah.
But it's still a great stage name.
Lemmy Kilmister.
Yeah.
From Motorhead.
His real name was John.
Yeah.
But he had the habit of borrowing money.
He'd say hey Lemmy five quid.
Yeah so they named him Lemmy.
Lemmy twenty quid.
So they named him Lemmy because he was always hey Lemmy some money.
That's a good one.
That's a real good one.
I think that's a pretty awesome one.
Well I'm trying to think.
There's so many of them.
Steven Tyler's a good one.
Yeah.
Yeah I've got him in my list of people who change their names.
McMars.
McMars is a great one.
Yeah.
His real name's Bob Deal.
Let's see what have I got written there from McMars.
Robert Alan Deal.
Yeah Bob Deal.
Yeah.
Is Ted Mugent a stage name or is that his real name?
I think that's his real name.
Theodosius Atrocious.
Ted the Sledge.
Nicky Six is a good one.
Yeah.
Mama Kass was a stage name.
Yeah that's a good one.
Who else?
I know there's more.
Yeah I'm trying not to give away some of these ones I've got on my list.
Oh you know what?
Alright we've got enough of those.
Okay that's all my stuff.
Alright.
I composed a list of singers and I've matched them up for interesting fist fights.
Okay.
My first one is Madonna versus Gwen Stefani.
Okay.
Madonna is a straight fighter.
She's going to pick up a piece of scrap metal or a pipe and she's going to beat to death
Gwen Stefani.
It's like that scene in The Godfather where James Kahn was beating up his brother-in-law
for cheating.
He grabbed a trash can lid and was just smacking him in the head over the top of his head.
He was just smacking him in the head over and over the trash can lid.
But that would be Madonna.
That would be Madonna.
Yeah she'd knock out a few of those giant horse teeth that Gwen has.
If I'd do her a favor then she'd have to have regular teeth put in.
Yeah.
Blake Shelton would be all weepy.
If they're even still together.
Yeah.
It's one of those celebrity Hollywood marriages.
They're not real anyway.
Yeah.
Alright.
So we both picked Madonna.
Here's another one, James Hetfield versus Dave Mustaine.
Ooh.
There's some hatred there.
Kick my ass out right before Metallica makes it big.
Before throat cancer I would have went Dave Mustaine.
Yeah.
After I'm going to have to go with James Hetfield.
He's healthier.
I think he is too.
Yeah.
I mean I'm always going for the raging ginger.
I mean I'll bet on the raging ginger.
You know he's one of my kids as well.
I know how angry Jeffrey can get.
Yeah.
Alright.
We'll go with James Hetfield on that one.
Yeah.
And only because of throat cancer.
If not I would have went with Dave Mustaine all the way.
Yeah.
Probably so.
Because he is so pissed off.
And James Hetfield isn't anymore.
No.
He's just kind of a dad now.
Yeah.
He looks like a sheep dog.
Alright.
Next up.
Joan Jett versus Bono.
Joan Jett.
I'm going to pick Joan Jett.
Joan Jett would pick up a pipe and beat Bono to death with it.
She's probably 10, 15 years older but she'd kick his ass.
Bono in the middle of it would go, every time you hit me with that pipe a children starves
to death in Africa.
And she'd keep beating his head until he died.
And she'd say, they go over there and feed them you rich bastard.
Yeah.
How come nobody in the audience ever said that?
Hey Bono.
I'm sure they did.
They just didn't hear it.
Why don't you take the money from this concert and go feed all of them.
Yeah.
Why are you telling us?
Go fucking do it.
Yep.
I'm already seeing the ads on the California wildfires.
All the insurance companies cancelled their insurance so they don't have to pay.
But now they want us to donate.
Oh I know.
I know.
That pisses me off too.
Fuck you.
State farm.
You guys need to pony up.
Yes.
Yeah.
Alright moving along.
Yeah you know what, just leave that alone.
I got so much to say about that.
Next up we have Iggy Pop from the Stooges versus Bruce Springsteen.
Iggy Pop.
Yeah.
Bruce Springsteen probably outweighs him 2 to 1 but Iggy doesn't care about pain.
Oh no no.
Iggy used to take broken bottles and bash himself in the chest with them just so he
could bleed on the audience.
He was punk before there was punk.
Iggy Pop doesn't need any type of equipment to beat him to death.
Iggy Pop would just like walk up and throw him to the ground and beat the shit out of
him.
He'd probably just exhale on him.
Yeah and he'd fucking fall.
Yeah.
Oh god you stink.
Oh here's one you'll enjoy.
Nicky Six versus Henry Rollins.
Henry Rollins.
Henry Rollins would beat him going you're a liar.
Nicky's taller.
Henry Rollins is about three times more solid.
Yes and he would beat him to death screaming you're a liar, a liar, a liar.
That song is so good.
I'm sorry I'll never do it again I promise.
That grin he gets.
Yeah.
And then that maniacal laugh ha ha ha I got you kid fuck you.
Wow.
Good song.
Henry Rollins is just fucking awesome isn't he?
He said he's never going back to music.
Oh I know.
He said the spoken word thing he said why the hell would I ever go back into that crime
race.
It's a mess.
It's awful.
I gotta admit I enjoyed Bruce Dickinson's spoken word better than I enjoyed Iron Maiden
and I loved Iron Maiden.
Yeah.
There's just something about their adventures and stuff that they talked about.
Yeah no kidding.
It's just so entertaining anyhow.
Alright next up we have Taylor Swift versus Elvis Costello.
Taylor Swift I'm going with Angry Ginger.
Yeah I'm going to go with Elvis Costello because he's got the street smarts.
Yeah you know.
Taylor's a little too pampered I think she's lost her edge.
Unless she knows kickboxing in that case it would be Taylor but I don't know if she knows
kickboxing.
Yeah.
I'm going to stick with Elvis.
It would be one we disagree on.
Yeah I'm just going by I think that inside that ginger apparatus is just someone that's
fucking nuts.
I think that she would just take a toaster and fucking beat Elvis Costello to death with
it.
Just some random kitchen appliance.
Yeah.
Elvis Costello comes in and says something that pisses her off and she grabs a fucking
toaster and goes what the fuck and beats the shit out of him.
And then when he's lying on the floor she's like oh shit I've got to call my guys.
Hey I've got a body here I need you guys to come get it.
To make this go away.
Oh by the way it's Elvis Costello.
I beat the snot out of him with a can opener.
Alright we disagree on that one that's cool.
Alright next up David Lee Roth versus Sammy Hagar.
Oh.
Okay I'm going David Lee Roth because of finesse.
And also Sammy Hagar has mouthed off about him so many times I think David Lee Roth would
love to fucking beat the hell out of him.
Yeah that's a good point.
Yeah I'm going to go David Lee.
I think he's going to have the kick moves and Sammy's just going to have too much tequila
in him.
Oh I think so too.
And also Sammy Hagar is so pissed off because Alex Van Halen did not include him in the
book.
That's true.
And he said that the magic was over and I agree with him.
Alex Van Halen knew that that version of him was Sammy Hagar or Gary Sharone was not the
same.
Yeah.
And also David Lee Roth quit them.
They did not fire him.
A lot of people think he was fired he quit.
He quit.
I remember that was the announcement they made when it happened that David Lee Roth has
quit Van Halen.
Yeah and then later on it got parlayed into he was fired.
Yeah he was fired.
He quit because he's getting upstaged by Eddie Van Halen.
Yeah and so I remember them trying to spin the story of David Lee Roth wanted to do too
many cover songs and they were tired of it.
Yeah and that wasn't true at all.
No it turned out David Lee Roth was the one saying I don't want to keep doing all these
covers let's do some more originals.
I agree.
Yeah.
Alright next up Angus Young versus Steven Tyler.
They're both tough as hell.
Yes.
Okay I'm going to go Angus Young.
I think Angus Young is going to walk around jump on his back and just beat the hell out
of the back of his head until he falls down.
He's going to go fucking baboon on him.
I think Angus Young grew up boxing with kangaroos.
Yes.
So he can handle Steven Tyler no problem.
He's going to like bite one of his fucking ears off and pull his hair out.
Your face is so tiny it makes me angry.
Yes.
And Steven Tyler is going to go woo that blue bag while he's getting his ass whipped.
Did you know Steven Tyler's mouth is not really any bigger than anyone else's mouth?
It's just the rest of his face is so freaking tiny.
And that's true it's not making that up.
His face is so tiny and crammed together that it makes his mouth look enormous.
And I've got another thing too.
Just like Mick Jagger if he was not a rock star he would not have gotten any tail at
all.
Oh yeah, same with Jack Nicholson.
Oh yeah that too.
Dude as ugly as a stump.
Oh gosh.
Yeah very lucky they hit him big otherwise they've been at home fucking jerking it.
Yeah so.
Alright, Lane Staley versus Beck.
I'm going to have to go Lane Staley.
Yeah.
I mean Beck already says I'm a loser.
Yeah that's true.
And also Beck is too quirky.
I think Lane Staley on crack and heroin could still beat Beck.
Oh yeah yeah.
I think he would do it like this.
Lane Staley would say alright I need someone to tie my hand and my left hand and my left
leg together and I'm still going to beat this pussy to death.
And Beck would be standing there where are my digital samples?
Where are they?
Where's my pre-programmed synthesis here?
And meanwhile Lane Staley is beating the hell out of him on crack and heroin with a hand
and a leg tied together.
If you want to know how AI is going to put music together listen to people like Beck.
All he does is take other people's samples and throw them together with some dumb ass
lyrics that he moans a couple of ways and that's your preview of AI.
Nothing original, everything is recycled and mashed together where it doesn't fit.
It's horrible.
It's horrible stuff.
I agree.
Just my opinion.
I'm glad he's had a great career.
I wish him nothing but the best but I'm never spending the time on any of this stuff because
I hate it.
Name one song, oh me neither, name one song that has any emotion or feel to it at all that
he's done.
Can't.
No.
My oldest brother kept sending me lots of Beck songs.
Oh listen here's the new Beck.
Oh listen to this.
I listen to them all.
They're all crap.
They're all bullshit.
Yeah.
I get to have my opinion.
Yes you do.
You know me as one person among 8 billion on the planet I don't like Beck and I'm sure
Beck doesn't care.
I'm pretty sure of that.
I'm pretty sure I hate them too.
And mine's more than a dislike.
I hate the fucker.
Yeah.
I would like to take my phone and hit him in the nose with it like 10 times.
Allegedly.
Yeah.
Alright here's a good one.
Kid Rock versus David Coverdale.
10 rounds no goals barred.
Coverdale's going to mop the floor with that tasty little jerk.
I think so too.
Yeah.
Kid Rock is not street.
He grew up in a rich very affluent Michigan suburb with rich parents and then he decided
to invent this street persona for himself.
Yes.
And I'm the street out the trailer.
No you're not.
You're straight out private school bitch.
Yes.
David Coverdale fought Richie Blackmore.
Oh Coverdale's going to win.
Yeah Coverdale's going to win.
Yeah.
Matter of fact Coverdale was so dumb that Richie Blackmore quit and went to Rainbow.
Now one of them I was going to put was the two guys in Bad Company.
Paul Rogers versus Mick Ralphs.
Oh.
They actually did have a fight.
Oh did they?
And Mick Ralphs is a black belt.
And just fucked Paul Rogers up.
Paul Rogers is a distinguished Englishman.
I don't see him fighting anyhow.
But I guess he did.
Mick Ralphs is tough.
Wow.
And that's why Paul Rogers left Bad Companies because Mick Ralphs beat the snot out of him.
I didn't know that but it's funny.
Send him to the emergency room.
No charges were ever filed.
Wow.
Yeah.
He called up Jimmy Page.
He said I need to get out of this band.
He's going to kill me.
This is bullshit.
Jimmy Page is like I got another going on except a little devil works for me and heroin.
But I guess I can.
They call it Nicky Taylor from Duran Duran.
Who was the drummer?
Taylor.
Nick Taylor was the bass player.
Yeah.
Thompson.
Somebody Thompson.
I should know this.
I'm a drummer.
But anyway that was the firm.
Bass player was insane.
Yeah, yeah.
Tony Franklin.
There we go.
Tony Franklin was incredible.
I was thinking Chester Thompson.
He was different.
Oh I put him down as one of my favorite bassists.
He is coming from outer space.
Blues, jazz.
If he'd been in a different band than Duran Duran he would have been insane.
He could have been in Rush.
He could have been in Yes.
He could have been in anything.
He could have been in Uriah Heat.
Anything.
I would love to hurt him in Uriah Heat.
Oh man.
Okay, moving on.
Next celebrity fist fight.
Buddy Holly versus Michael Jackson.
Keep in mind Buddy Holly is from Texas.
Yes, but Michael Jackson had his whole hair and scalp cut on fire.
And Michael Jackson knew how to fight off his father.
Yes, that's right.
That's right.
I'm going to have to go with Michael.
I'm going to have to go with Michael too.
And also he probably had to fight to have his little winger not touch him.
Plus Buddy Holly always looked like such a polite young man.
I can't see him really raising his fist.
Yeah, me too.
Unless it was in the defense of paganism.
He'd be like, can't we talk this out by that time Michael Jackson already has him on the
ground.
I saw this move in the hood last night.
Yes.
Okay.
I used to use this on Daddy Joe.
Alright, John Bon Jovi versus Dave Matthews.
Oh, now Dave Matthews he dumped shit on some people in the Chicago River.
Literally.
Yes, yes.
Their tour bus stopped on a bridge and emptied their black water tank and dumped raw sewage
all over it.
On an architectural tour on a boat.
They're all looking up.
And then they tried to deny it, made up some lies about it and then eventually the truth
came out in the court case that yep, that's exactly what happened.
That's exactly what happened and also they're the ones that always preached environment
and all that.
Uh huh.
Yeah, uh huh.
Sure.
And they're dumping their shit water right in the river.
Yes, only they got caught.
Nice.
And a lot of people got a pretty good paycheck I bet.
I'm going to go with Bon Jovi.
I'm going to go with Bon Jovi too.
He's from New Jersey.
He knows how to fight.
Yeah, he's Italian also.
Oh yeah, an Italian from New Jersey?
Yeah.
Oh hell.
Yeah.
He's like curb stomping people.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Where Dave Matthews is probably figuring out quizzes.
Yeah.
He's trying to figure out how not to look so weird when he sings.
Yeah, I'm playing wordy-gurdy in the back of the times.
I remember Dave Matthews saying once in an interview, he said, I always wanted to look
really cool on stage and then I saw a video of myself singing and it's like oh my god,
look at all the faces I'm making.
So he knows he's doing it, he just can't help it.
Okay, that right there.
He's got a sense of humor at least.
Yes, he does.
Yep.
All right, here's the next interesting.
David Bowie versus Robert Plant.
Oh.
I don't even know that they fight.
They just sit down and probably have tea.
I think so too.
Yeah.
I think they would just come to a gentleman's agreement.
Okay.
And then go out and see a movie.
Yeah, I think that's the first draw, non-file.
Yeah, I think that's just a draw.
Yeah, and I think we have everything settled here, guys.
I'll see you later, Chum.
See, you want to go do an album?
Yeah, let's go do an album.
Let's go do an album.
Well, first you've got to come back to life.
Are you going to do that?
Oh, I miss David Bowie.
I do too.
He was, I mean, when David Bowie first came out in the late 60s, I really didn't like
him.
No, I didn't either.
Then I got really heavily into Alice Cooper, and I thought David Bowie was like, why do
I need David Bowie?
Alice Cooper's so awesome.
But then I really started listening to his music.
It's like, wow, there's a lot here.
There's a lot here.
And plus, it was an amazing variety.
Ziggy Stardust.
Ziggy Stardust and The Space Oddity.
The Space Oddity, yeah.
The first really it, if you will.
You know, like not really any type of a gender or not really any type of a style.
Androgyny.
Androgyny, there it is.
Yeah.
That was the big thing in the late 60s was androgyny.
You didn't obviously try to look like one or the other.
You just wanted people to wonder and not be able to tell.
Yeah, and he did that perfectly.
Yeah, he was very good at that.
There were a lot of musicians back in that time that were very good at being, even Boy
George was good at it.
Oh, Boy George was a great musician.
When Culture Club came out, people were looking at Boy George and he's going, who exactly
is that?
What gender was this person born in?
Yeah, he really had people wonder.
He did.
Yeah, you know what?
I mean, and also I think the music actually got a boost from it.
It was great music.
Culture Club was fantastic.
But even though I didn't like it at the time, he brought some notoriety to it.
He had a gorgeous voice.
Yeah.
He really did.
Yep.
I would have loved to hear it with better material.
I would have too.
Something not so poppy.
Yeah, I agree.
It wasn't my type of music, but it was really good because of him.
Yeah, yeah.
I agree.
Without him, Culture Club, nobody would have heard of him.
No, I agree.
All right, up next, Celine Dion versus Amy Lee of Evanescence.
Oh.
Thank you so much.
Thank you.
Is she Scottish?
Amy?
Yeah.
I'm not sure.
I know Celine Dion is Canadian, so that means the top of her head flops around like in South
Park.
I'm going to go with Amy Lee.
I think so too.
I think she's Scottish, which would give her some of that fighting blood.
Yeah.
I believe she belongs to the Republican Army too.
If you've seen Amy Lee recently, she's bulked up a little bit.
I mean, she's not like fat or anything, but she's got some body mass, whereas Celine Dion
is like a coat hanger with skin on it.
Yeah.
And she's got that stiff body disease where she can barely move.
I think Amy would just push her over and be done.
Yes.
And also, she belongs to the Irish Republican Army, but she's Scottish.
That's how tough she is.
That's pretty tough.
That is.
Anyhow, go ahead.
All right.
Frank Zappa versus John Mellencamp.
Oh, Frank Zappa, I think.
I'm going to go with John Mellencamp, some scrappy Indiana boy.
Zappa is all mouth, and I think Mellencamp's just going to go up and break his big Irish
nose.
You're right.
Or big Italian nose, I should say.
Yeah.
Irish.
He's going to be sitting at the table, and he's going to go, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh,
uh-huh.
Excuse me.
He's going to walk up and just fucking belt him in the face.
He said, I'm going to smack you with a scarecrow.
And then I'm going to smack you with a plow.
And then I'll throw a cherry bomb at you.
Jack and Diane are not going to save you.
All righty.
George Lynch versus Slash.
Slash.
You think so?
George Lynch is a bodybuilder, and always has been, and he's a surf guy.
Oh, okay.
You know, because he's a surf guy, I'm going to go ahead and give it to Slash.
Yeah.
No, no, no, no, no.
Slash was affluent.
His mom was like a model or a TV star.
Yeah, he came from money.
Yeah, no, I'm going to go with George Lynch.
All right.
What about you?
I was going to go with Slash.
You still think Slash was enough?
Yeah, I think George Lynch looks the part, but doesn't know how to fight.
Okay.
You know, I'm going to go back to Slash also.
All right, next up, Donnie Osmond versus Gordon Lightfoot.
We might have another draw here.
Nice, good, good, faithful Mormon Donnie Osmond against gentle Canadian folk singer Gordon Lightfoot.
Draw.
They're not even going to fight.
No, I think that's going to be like Bowie and Plant.
They're just going to say, you know what, we have better stuff.
That's okay.
Yeah.
He's like, can you introduce me to your sister, Marie?
Yes.
Gordon Lightfoot was notorious for just sleeping around every chance he got while he was on tour.
Oh, that's right.
And then writing a bunch of songs about it, kind of like Chris Isaac does.
Hey, then Donnie would go, have you seen pictures of my sister lately?
Oh, yeah, forget it.
All right.
Never mind.
Elton John versus Perry Farrell of Jane's Addiction.
I stay so busy that the minute I'm done with my walk up, I get lost.
He's still a fitness.
He is.
He's like, oh, well, no, well.
Perry Farrell is androgynous.
Yeah.
Elton John is gay, but he's man.
Now, keep in mind that in not too long ago, Perry Farrell and Jane's Addiction were out
playing, and he picked a fight with Dave Navarro, and Dave Navarro cleaned his clock.
Oh, that's right.
On stage.
Beat the shit out of him.
Yeah.
And as the roadies were coming to drag Perry Farrell off stage, they were punching him
too.
You're right.
That's how much they hate Perry Farrell.
Okay.
I'm going to go Elton John.
Yeah.
I think everybody watching would join in on beating up Perry Farrell.
Perry Farrell is always barefooted too, which meant Elton John would stomp him with one of
his high heels.
And apparently every time- Platform heels.
Platform heels, yeah.
And every time Perry Farrell gets high, he turns into the world's biggest jerk, and everybody
just wants to beat him up.
I'm going to go Elton John all the way.
Yeah.
All right.
Here's a good one.
Jesse Roll from the Foo Fighters versus Jesse James Dupree from Jackal.
Jesse James.
I think so too.
I'm going to whip out that chainsaw and go Jackal on his ass.
Yeah, you would.
Yeah.
Rock me, roll me, jackal me off.
That was such a good catchphrase.
Oh, I know.
Yeah, I'm going to have to go Jesse James Dupree.
Yeah.
All right.
Here's a blast from the past.
This is going to be a cage match.
Okay.
So it's Simon and Garfunkel versus the mamas and papas.
Oh.
California dream.
Mamas and papas.
Supposedly, Papa was sleeping with his daughter.
John Phillips, yeah.
Yes.
Does that make you tough or a pussy?
Let's see.
Rape, incest, and pedophilia all at once.
Pussy.
Yeah, I'd say so.
Yep.
I think Simon could beat up John Phillips and then Garfunkel could probably beat up the
rest.
I think you're right.
Yeah, I think Mama Cass would say, I'm out, this is bullshit.
Even though it was a lie, he'd stick a donut down her mouth and she would.
And then.
Choke her good.
That was one of the biggest lies ever.
Everybody thinks that's how she died.
And then Michelle Phillips would have jumped on Garfunkel's back and screeched and tried
to claw his eyes out.
Yeah.
Bit him, everything.
Yes.
Yeah, the word is that Michelle Phillips is only in the band as someone to sleep with.
Yeah, yeah.
A lot of her vocals were dubbed in and she wasn't much on stage.
She's just there to be pretty.
Yep.
Anyway, okay, up next.
Fred Durst against Marilyn Manson.
Fred Durst.
Nowadays because Marilyn Manson.
I think so.
Yeah.
I think her is fending off sexual harassment suits.
Not surprised there.
No, me neither.
I think that Fred Durst is a scrappy little bastard.
Yeah.
He's going to turn his baseball hat around and punch him.
Considering the difficulties and all the crap Limp Bizkit has had to have thrown at
them.
Yes.
They're tough.
Yeah, they were a mockery.
People were laughing at him.
So I think he had to have a pretty tough skin just to deal with that.
Yeah, I'm going to go Durst also.
Yeah.
Right.
Paul McCartney against Meatloaf.
Oh.
I know who I'm picking.
I'm picking Meatloaf and here's why.
I think Meatloaf would bite him.
Or just fall on him.
Or fall on him, yes.
Again, Meatloaf, Texan.
Paul McCartney did have a one-legged wife.
Oh, that's true.
Okay, let's figure this out.
Okay, one-legged wife that pissed in the bed in a bed pool.
Yeah.
Okay, let's figure this out.
Okay, one-legged wife that pissed in the bed in a bed pool.
versus former football player Texan who outweighs him by 150 pounds.
Okay, even though he had a one-legged wife that pissed in bed, I'm going to have to go
Meatloaf.
I think so too.
Yeah.
What's his name?
Paul, no, Roger, a day or something?
Marvin Lee a day.
Marvin Lee a day, that was it.
Okay.
All right, Melissa Etheridge against Alanis Morissette.
Oh, I'm glad you put this near the end.
Okay.
Come to my window versus jagged little pill.
Okay, this could take some dissecting.
Yeah.
Is Alanis Morissette, and I have this as a skit on douchebags, is she still mad somewhere?
I think she is.
Then I give it to her.
I mean, she's Canadian and she got that angry, which is odd for Canadians to get angry.
Yeah, that's true.
And Dave Coulier was the recipient of all this anger.
Yeah.
And he has cancer now.
Oh.
Yeah, pretty bad.
John Stamos shaped his head for him.
I bet you as soon as he dies, Alanis Morissette's going to be over there pissing on his grave.
Yeah.
Melissa Etheridge is really tough.
You can just tell she grew up in Leavenworth.
Yeah, growing up as a lesbian in Leavenworth, Kansas, you got to be tough.
I give it to Melissa Etheridge because of that.
I think that Alanis Morissette is pissed, but that's it.
She'll try to fight.
She'll put up her fists and not know what to do.
I think I'm going to go with Alanis just because she's so unhinged.
She'll be unpredictable.
You think she'll pick up a toaster and beat her to death with it?
Or a can opener.
A toaster?
Can opener?
A tweezer?
Hand me that instant pot.
I'm going to fuck this bitch up.
Yeah, yeah.
A cup?
Yeah.
I'm going to stick this meat thermometer in you.
Yeah.
And I'll stick it in you slow.
Kill you slow with this.
I heard an awesome joke the other day.
A woman was talking about how quick her boyfriend was in bed.
and she said, oh my god, I've been vaccinated slower.
Wow, that's pretty bad.
That is a bad thing to have hung on you too.
Some guys get the reputation of being an eight second ride, and that ain't good.
Yeah, yeah, as a matter of fact, there's a lot of stories I have with that, that like I've heard,
and my god, because whenever guys like that, you hear about it.
You hear about it.
It's like if you have micro penis.
You hear about that too. Ask Peter Frampton.
Alright, next up, Ed Sheeran versus Michael Buble.
Ed Sheeran.
Really?
Yeah, I think so.
Well, he's a ginger.
He's a ginger, but also, doesn't he have facial tattoos?
He might.
I think, you know what, maybe I'm getting this post Malone.
Oh, Ed Sheeran is that little red haired guy who plays little wimpy songs
and has that tiny little guitar.
And who's he up against today?
Michael Buble.
Yeah, I think he's just got more style, more class.
Yeah, I'm going to go ahead and say Buble,
because I think Ed Sheeran would have his feelings hurt.
Yeah, I can see Michael holding Ed Sheeran at Arms Lake.
Well, Ed Sheeran swings at the empty area because he can't quite reach him.
You see, I would see him taking a little, he'd go, hang on, hang on, hang on here.
I need to go have a moment in the corner.
I need to go meditate, and then by that time, Buble kicked the shit out of me.
Okay.
Alright, next up, Johnny Rotten versus Trent Reznor.
Johnny Rotten, because I think that he's still fucking pissed.
Yeah, he's still angry.
Trent Reznor is not mad anymore.
As a matter of fact, he's kind of chunky.
He eats well.
That means he is not depressed.
No, maybe he is.
No, he got his problems worked out.
He did, yeah.
It was kind of either he was going to get him worked out and get happy,
or he was going to kill himself.
That was kind of what he was planning on.
And here's how you tell how happy he is.
You walk up to him and you whisper in his ear,
Amos.
You just walk up and go, hey Trent.
Yeah.
Tori Amos.
Ah!
He just collapses right there.
Pretty Hate Machine was written about her.
Yeah.
Okay, Eddie out.
Alright, next up.
If you know the album, you're going to go, wow.
That's an amazing album.
It has good songs on there.
He owes her royalties.
He actually says he's a little embarrassed about some of the songs,
because he doesn't feel like they were finished.
Oh, okay, different.
He says, I should have done more on that.
I just really wasn't finished with it yet, and I have a better version.
Okay, you know what?
I think the lawness is one of the things that was the appeal.
Yeah, but he did release a follow-up CD with about five different versions of
Head Like a Hole and a couple of three different versions of Down In It.
So those were some of his alternate takes for some of the songs on Pretty Hate Machine.
It's an interesting lesson.
Head like a hole, black as your soul, I'd rather die than give you control.
Anger.
Bow down before the one you serve.
You're going to get what you deserve.
Angry young man.
Angry.
I blame it on puberty.
Probably so.
Yes.
All right, Carlos Santana versus Billy Corgan.
Billy Corgan because he's weird looking.
Yeah.
I think Billy Corgan is the kind of guy that can take 30 punches and not even phase him.
Probably not.
You'd be like, wow, that was interesting.
You know that your left hand is quite a bit more stimulus than your right.
And it comes from a different position.
Your left hand, you cock back about a foot further than your right hand.
Do you know why that is?
Were you injured as a child?
That's what I hear him say.
Hey, I've got a name of a really good chiropractor.
You could possibly maybe go see him.
Tell him you know me, Billy Corgan.
I think Billy is a lot tougher than he looks and that's his secret weapon.
Yes.
He looks like he's just like the kid down the street you never pay attention to.
But then you listen to his music and you're like, whoa.
I can see him picking up a stir stick and beating you to death with it.
Yeah, absolutely.
Because he'd be at a coffee house when this happened.
All right, the last one I have, Sting versus Alex Van Halen.
Alex.
Anyone that could double bass like he does, go whip his ass.
He's going to get on top of it and go.
He's going to.
I'm going to do a double stroke roll on your head.
Yeah, he's going to do Hopper Teacher on his face.
Yes.
All right, that's all.
And also, I've got one more thing about Alex Van Halen.
So underrated.
Yeah.
He could play anything if he knew it was him.
And isn't that part of being a musician, having your own?
Absolutely.
His style and his own flair.
There's some musicians that they're just so different and unique that nobody's ever like them again.
It's amazing.
Yeah, and I think Alex Van Halen fits in that category.
But he was outshined by his brother.
I mean, how could you not?
Do you remember a band called Psygon Kick?
Yes, I sure do.
They have this hit with Love Is On The Way.
Yeah, they had a couple other minor hits, but that was their big one.
The drummer for that band, I can't remember his name, but he had a really interesting and different style.
And I was really intrigued by that.
I can't really remember that much about him.
Yeah.
He wasn't like your typical, you know, play great big fills all over the place.
But he used a lot more of symbols in his fill, like hi-hat and just short, little sounding drums.
He didn't have big, booming drums.
So I really liked his style, so I was looking forward to hearing some more by him.
But after Psygon Kick broke up, he and his wife slash girlfriend started a porn film company.
I remember that, yes.
Vivid Entertainment.
Vivid, yeah. And then they sold it.
Yeah.
And it's still around, I believe.
Yeah, I remember I was a mailman at the time, and I remember delivering flyers to people on my route from Vivid Entertainment.
And I thought, oh, okay, here's their porn magazine, their porn catalog, the order of videos.
And then I saw online that it was the drummer from Psygon Kick.
And I think you're the one that alerted me to that a while back.
Yeah.
And I looked it up, I'm like, wow.
And then they sold it for an enormous amount of money.
Made way more doing that than everybody playing drums.
Yeah, it's like Fred Curry of Cinderella, remember?
Yeah.
He writes scores for Disney.
Yeah.
He doesn't touch that.
Why would you ever give up that gig?
He doesn't.
No, they got a different drummer over there playing.
I've got one thing to say here real quick.
Yeah.
It's been a month removed from the regular NFL season, and the Bengals are still not in the playoffs.
Just saying.
Here's the weird thing to think.
Sunday night was the last game the Chiefs will play in Arrowhead until preseason next year.
That's right.
And if Kelsey retires, that was his last game at Arrowhead.
Pretty fitting.
Yeah.
A really thrilling win.
Yeah.
You know, no shame in what you know.
All right, let me tell you about Phil Verone.
Okay.
He's the drummer from Saigon Kick.
That started Vivint Entertainment with his wife.
Yeah.
All righty.
Jonathan Davis, didn't he do the same thing?
I'm not sure.
Of Korn?
I think so.
In 96, Saigon Kick released The Lizard, which went gold because they had the song Love Is
On The Way.
Yeah.
In 96, it disbanded.
In 2000, he joined Skid Row.
Oh, that's right.
I forgot.
And then he toured the world with Kiss, Poison, Def Leppard, and Tesla.
Skid Row touring with all those different bands.
He also in 2003 played the drums for Vince Neil on his solo tour.
Oh, wow.
I didn't know that.
He joined Jakey Lee's band Red Dragon Cartel for the album Patina.
Oh, that's his second album, which I don't have any recollection of.
Yeah.
All right.
Then in 2004, he decided to go into television, film, radio, and acting.
He was on Miami Ink, Californication, some game shows, Celebrity Ghost Story.
He did a documentary about being a touring drummer called Waking Up Dead.
In 2009, he participated in the show Sex Rehab with Dr. Drew on VH1, which was a spin-off
of Celebrity Rehab.
And he talked about his sex addiction.
He also went on the Oprah, Tyra Banks show, and the Today Show to talk about his sex addiction.
He has his own radio show with Vivid Radio on Sirius XM called The Swing with Phil Verone.
Does he still own it?
I thought he sold it.
I think he sold it, but he kept the name for his Vivid Radio.
Okay.
In 2010, he was Playgirl's cover and centerfold.
Did you know that?
In 2011, Vivid Entertainment released his secret sex stash video as part of their Celebrity
Sex Tape series.
He's gone on to produce and direct a series called 100% Real Swingers.
And he's recorded a second series of reality porn videos called Groobies, the music from
behind, which is a takeoff on VH1's Behind the Music.
Oh, wow.
That guy's interesting.
And he has his own line of sex toys with California exotic knock multis, including the first ever
rock star actually molded after his penis with piercing.
So he was the one to come out with the first dildo with piercing.
Oh, wow.
Okay, well.
So the dude's into sex.
Yes.
Big time.
And he's also a pretty good businessman around it, too.
Yeah, yeah.
Wow.
So I'm going to presume that he stayed off the drugs because that's what ruins most guys
who go into the porn big time is drugs.
Sounds like he's managed to stay away from that.
Yeah, it does.
He's making it pay for him.
His addiction was not drugs.
No, his addiction was vagina.
Yes.
Wow.
Okay.
Never knew that.
Interesting guy, Phil Verone.
He's made, he's got more money and I'll ever sniff.
Yeah, yeah.
And also another thing is, is he's not that widely known either.
No, not really.
Saigon Kick was never that big of a band.
No, he just had the one album.
And he was a drummer.
Yeah.
But he's got an interesting style.
I think his style is pretty interesting.
I like it.
I can revisit it because I don't remember enough of it.
Anyhow, all right.
Well, I've got a good list of musicians who have changed their name.
Okay.
And I've also got a list of bands who have changed their name.
Okay.
That's going to be cool.
Yeah.
So first up on my singer list, Bruno Mars.
You've heard of him?
Oh, yeah.
Peter Gene Hernandez.
Oh, wow.
He's a Hernandez.
No.
Wow.
Lady Gaga is Stephanie Joanne Angelina Germanotta.
Good thing she changed her name.
Yeah.
You know how she got her name, don't you?
From the Queen song.
Queen song.
Yeah.
Radio Gaga.
Yeah.
It auto corrected.
To Lady Gaga.
Lady Gaga.
Yeah.
All right.
Elvis Costello.
Declan Patrick Aloysius McManus.
Great job in changing his name.
Yeah.
It's probably Declan, not Declan.
Declan.
But you know what?
Who cares?
People mispronounce my name.
It's no biggie.
Yeah.
All right.
Bob Dylan is Robert Zimmerman.
Actually, I knew that one.
Yeah.
He took his name after Dylan Thomas, the poet.
Oh, okay.
Plus, at that time, it was probably a good career move to hide the fact that he's Jewish.
Yes, that's true.
But he didn't stay Jewish.
He had a very public conversion to Christianity.
Yeah, he did, didn't he?
Yes, he did.
Wow.
I never even thought about that.
Yep.
Okay.
And then, I think, Freddie Mercury is Farouk Bulsara.
Yeah.
A lot of people know that because Prohimean Rhapsody, the movie, came out.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
That's how people would know that.
Yeah.
I've heard an outtake from a studio session for the Queen, and they're trying to play
a song, and something's screwed up.
And you can hear Brian May saying, it's Bulsara.
It's his fault.
It's Bulsara's fault.
He's just ragging on them for fun.
Wow.
That's funny.
It is.
Right, Joey Ramone was Jeffrey Ross Hyman.
You mean they all changed their names?
Every single Ramone.
And they're not brothers?
No.
My wife didn't even know that.
But that was the shtick.
You join the Ramones, you change your last name to Ramone, you pretend you're a brother,
and you dye your hair black.
I found that out way after the fact.
Didn't I?
I did, too.
Yeah.
I don't smirk at anybody who doesn't know, because I didn't know for a long time either.
They did a good job.
They really did.
Right, Glenn Danzig.
That's not a real name?
Nope.
Glenn Alan Anzalone.
I've heard funny stuff about him.
He's like this little sawed-off guy.
He's like 5'5".
And he's about 5' wide, too.
He's this monster muscle.
And I guess he goes around acting like a tough guy behind stage and stuff, and people just
like f**king go, shut up, get out of here, and stuff like that.
Shut up, Glenn.
Yeah, Glenn, you stop.
Alright, Iggy Pop.
His name is James Newell Osterberg Jr.
Osterberg.
Yeah, so he's Scandinavian, don't you think?
Maybe Norwegian.
Norwegian, yeah, maybe Scandinavian, too.
Alright, Jello Biafra from the Dead Kennedys.
Eric Reed Boucher.
Hey, Eric, want to sing first?
Okay, call me Jello.
Alright, Henry Rollins.
Is Henry Lawrence Garfield.
No.
Rollins is better than Garfield.
We gotta get away with changing his name back with Smelling Him.
Yeah, yeah.
He never did want to change his name to Cougar.
No, that was his manager's decision.
He said when his first album came out and it did Johnny Cougar, he said, who the hell is that?
Because nobody even told him it was going to happen.
Oh, wow.
Alright, Suzy Sue was Susan Janet Ballion.
Wow.
Damn.
But you know, all those punk people, they changed their name.
Yeah, and it wasn't Sue as S-U-E either.
It's S-I-O-U-X like the Native American.
Yes.
Which actually, they called themselves Lakota.
The name Sue was the name that other Native American groups had for them, which meant snake.
Because they didn't like the Lakotas.
They didn't like them.
So they called them snakes.
Okay, Joe Strummer from The Clash was John Graham Miller.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, so he's Johnny.
Hey Johnny, come play your guitar, Johnny.
Come on, Johnny.
Okay, Polly Styrene, I think she was in X-Ray Spex.
Her name was Mary Ann Joan Elliott Sed.
That's a mouthful.
Good choice to change your name.
Billy Eitel.
He is William Michael Albert Broad.
Good.
His last name was Broad.
You don't want that last name when you're an entertainer.
No, no, you don't want that.
Bono.
Paul David Hewson.
Where the hell did he get Bono?
At first I thought he was trying to be Sonny Bono.
I was like, oh, his name is Bono.
Everyone thought it was Bono.
Yeah.
His Bono, we're Cher.
Bono, we're Cher, man.
I don't know how he got that.
Yeah.
I mean, actually, it worked though.
Everyone knows him as Bono.
Yeah.
I know him as Boner.
Boner.
Yeah.
I know him as the turd that pretends he's a human being.
Yeah, he's an idiot.
Yep.
All right, C.C. DeVille from Poison.
Oh, this is going to be interesting.
Bruce Anthony Johannesson.
Johannesson.
Yeah.
So it kind of sounds German, Austrian.
Austrian, maybe.
Maybe South African.
Could be South African.
Yeah.
Wow.
Who knows?
Oh, well.
All right, Courtney Love is Courtney and Michelle Harrison.
Hey, Michelle, come here and sing for us.
What a disgusting...
There was a brief period where she looked attractive and seemed to have her act together
and was putting out some decent music, and then she all fell apart again.
Yeah.
Celebrity Skin, I think, was a good album.
Yeah.
Make Me Over was the single.
Make Me Over was a great song.
Yeah.
And you know, right after that song came out, she publicly said, yeah, the other guitar
player came up with that book, and I hate it.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
She bashed her own hit song.
Nice move.
And that thing was solid.
It was a good one.
It was, yeah.
That's in my list of songs to learn.
Dead Actresses, you know, they had all the starlets trying to be all hanging, just lying.
It was just, I mean, it was like a big meat factory of people that have failed.
Yeah.
It was actually a great video.
Yeah.
I also liked Doll Parts.
Doll Parts, yeah.
That was a slower song, but it was good.
Yeah.
And then Violet.
Violet was good, too.
Yeah.
Go on, take everything.
Take everything I dare you to.
Yes.
Oh, the anger in her voice.
She did a really good job on that song.
I agree, but I can't believe that she didn't like...
Make Me Over?
Make Me Over, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, that was her best song, probably.
Yeah.
It kind of reminded me of Baruchasalt a little bit.
Yeah.
Yeah, it had the riff.
You know where Baruchasalt got their name?
Yeah, the movies, right?
The little girl on Willy Wonka who turned into Big Giant Blueberry.
Yeah.
That was Baruchasalt.
Yep.
Yeah, I thought that...
That was a great name, actually.
Yeah.
All right, The Edge is David Howell Evans.
Kind of a mediocre name.
Yeah, yeah.
You know what?
I mean, yeah, I agree.
The Edge sounds much better.
All right, famous drummer Eric Carr.
Yeah.
Paul Charles Caravello.
I think I knew that one.
Yeah, a lot of people did.
Yeah.
Anyhow, he made the right thing.
Eric Carr was a great catchy name because he was replacing a guy named Peter Criss.
Yep.
His last name was Criscola or Criscola?
Criscola.
Criscola, yeah.
Yeah, it's a little odd spelling.
Yeah.
And then staying in the same band, Gene Simmons.
A lot of people don't know how to pronounce his last name.
I know.
It's spelled C-H-A-I-M and his last name W-I-T-Z.
Yeah, it's real.
And I heard him pronounce it on his own reality show, Family Jewels.
It's Kheem Vintz.
A dog at the very end of the road.
That was his real name.
Yep.
No wonder he changed it.
I wonder how he came up with Gene Simmons.
I know.
There was a famous actress from the 40s named Gene Simmons.
It's spelled slightly differently.
But I have no idea whether he got him.
Who knows?
Yeah.
All right, Joan Jett.
Joan Marie Larkin.
Joan Jett was the right move.
Yeah, Larkin would not have made it.
You can see her at like a tire shop.
Ms. Larkin, your car's ready.
Yeah.
Extra large, no foam latte for Larkin.
Right there, the one with jet black hair that's 75.
All right, we talked this early.
Marilyn Manson is Brian Hugh Werner.
He's actually from Canton, Ohio.
Yeah, I actually knew that home.
We're the whole family.
Yeah, interesting.
Mick Mars, Robert Allen Deal.
We already mentioned that.
Bob Deal.
I always love that.
I know he goes with Robert, but I love just Bob Deal.
Hey, Bobby.
Yep.
Nicky Sixx.
Ferrano?
Is Frank Carlton Seraphino Ferrano Jr.
Ferrano Jr., that one's it.
Yeah, FCSF.
There is a little something.
Yeah.
All right, Pat Benatar is Patricia Mae Andrzejewski.
Wow.
Yeah, you know that coach Shashevsky?
Yeah.
And his name starts with like a K-R-Z.
That's kind of her last name.
That's just cuz.
Yeah, Andrzejewski, A-E-M-D-R-Z-E-J-E-W-S-K-I.
And that always pisses me off.
It's like, how did they get that pronunciation?
That's bullshit.
Yeah, why not just spell it that way?
Why are you wasting our time?
Yeah, yeah.
It's like a trick.
All right, Paul Stanley is Stanley Burt Eisen.
Hi, Burt.
Where's Ernie?
Burt Stanley.
Stan Burt.
This one's not too different.
Rick Springfield is Richard Lewis Spring-Thorpe.
Didn't know that.
Springfield sounds better than Spring-Thorpe.
A lot better.
Yeah, easier to say.
Slash is Saul Hudson.
I actually knew that one.
Yeah.
Don't call him Hudson Hawk, he doesn't like that.
No, no, no, no.
And Steven Tyler is Steven Victor Tallarico.
I knew Tyler was the stage name, but I don't think I ever knew his real name.
Yeah, I wonder if his daughter went by Tallarico or whether she legally is Tyler.
Well, she went by Tyler.
Yeah, I wonder if she's legally Tyler or whether she kept Tallarico.
Then there's another one of Tyler's, a girl, one of his daughters that's in TV also or in movies.
I can't remember her name, but Liv is the most famous one that's out in the 90s.
Yeah, she was in the Lord of the Rings movies.
Yes.
But yeah, I know what you mean, there's been another Tyler.
I can't think of her name, but anyhow, I think she's older than the...
Yeah, I'd say so.
So that's what I got for singer.
Now I got bands that have changed their name.
Oh, like this?
Yeah.
Alright.
Red Hot Chili Peppers.
They used to be Tony Flo and the Majestic Masters of Mayhem.
Okay.
What I ought to do is give you the old name and see if you can tell who the band is.
Okay.
Okay, here's the former name.
Composition of Sound.
Soundgarden?
It was Depeche Mode.
Depeche Mode.
Yeah.
A lot of these aren't going to sound anything like...
Yeah, I just took a wild stab at the sound and the sound.
Alright, here's one.
Seymour.
Just a weird name, Seymour.
Blur.
Yeah.
And now one of the guys from Blur is the guy behind Gorillaz.
Yeah.
With a Z.
Yeah.
And that's actually pretty awesome stuff, especially the videos are fun too.
Yeah.
Alright, here's a band called On a Friday.
Not a clue.
I couldn't have guessed it.
They became Radiohead.
Wow.
Isn't that weird?
Yeah.
Okay, this band had two different names.
They were The Hype and they were also Feedback.
You come to think of it, Hype kind of defines their career.
They existed on Hype.
Oasis.
You too.
Oh, you too.
Yeah.
Okay, here's the next one.
They used to be called The Rain.
You've already guessed their name at least once.
Oh, shit.
Go ahead, I'm not going to...
Oasis.
You just said it.
Oasis, yeah.
Yeah, okay.
This one a lot of people probably know is a band called Mookie Blaylock.
Oh, I forgot.
I knew this, but I can't remember who it was.
Pearl Jam.
Pearl Jam, yeah.
In fact, they occasionally would perform under the name Mookie Blaylock to rehearse their
stage show, try out new material.
This one a lot of people tend to know, The New Yardbirds.
Oh, that is Led Zeppelin.
Yep, the Led Zeppelin.
All right, here's one they used to call themselves The Malice.
So we automatically have partnerships.
So you ever want to give them a name?
No, no.
They are The Cure.
Oh, wow.
So they kept the the part.
Yeah, just completely different meanings.
This one's weird.
They had three names they tried out before.
Starfish, pectorals, and big fat noises.
Jefferson Starship?
Airplane?
Coldplay.
Coldplay?
Isn't that weird?
Yeah.
They used to be Starfish.
And then there were big fat noises.
And then the Coldplay.
Where the hell did that come from?
Yeah, just out of the blue.
All right.
This band I've got two, three, four, five, six different former names.
Okay.
They were T-Set.
They were Sigma-6.
They were Megadeths.
They were Screaming Ab-Dabs.
They were Leonard's Lodgers.
And they were The Spectrum-5.
T-Set is probably the only one that people have heard of.
But not too many.
What was that, Megadeths?
M-E-G-G-A-D-A-T-H-T-A-D-A-T-A-T. It's like Megadeth only with an S on the end and an extra G.
That's interesting.
Yeah.
You won't believe it when I tell you who this is.
Pink Floyd.
Really?
Yeah.
Now some people have heard the name T-Set associated with Pink Floyd.
But Sigma-6, Megadeths, the Screaming Ab-Dabs, what the hell?
Sigma-6 and Megadeths really threw me off.
Yeah.
Wow.
That's bizarre.
Pink Floyd was named after a blues player, I believe, too.
Yeah.
Wow.
I don't know how they got that.
So apparently they were just changing names all the time and they just happened to hit
it big with Pink Floyd so they left it.
Yeah, they were like, okay, we're going to stay right there.
There was kind of a poppy band called 10,000 Maniacs.
Natalie Merchant, the lead singer.
Yeah.
They were the kind of band that was changing their name every week.
Yeah.
Because they couldn't get a job at the same place under that same name because no one
wanted them back.
So when their song hit, they just happened to be called 10,000 Maniacs at the time and
they were stuck with it.
Yes.
They didn't like it.
They didn't like it either.
All right.
Next up we have a band that used to be called Pen Cap Chew.
Like when you're chewing on the cap of your pen?
Pen Cap Chew.
Nirvana.
Oh, wow.
Didn't know that?
Yeah.
How long before was that, I wonder?
Wow, I should have looked that up.
Yeah.
Yeah, I wonder if they were like teenagers when that name was because they were Nirvana
around Seattle for quite a while.
They were.
That's true.
I think Maroon 5 called themselves Kara's Flowers because there was someone named Kara
that they were really a fan of, they really liked.
But then when they made it big, they're like, yeah, this name may be in the works.
Yeah.
Oh, well, okay.
Black Sabbath was.
Earth.
Yep, you knew that when I knew.
All right.
Here is a band that used to call themselves Duck Tape.
I did that last year or two years ago with Sporting Fantasy City.
The exact thing you're describing because I had to know.
I'll give you a hint.
They have a word and a number.
The first they were The Word and then there was an Irish band with the same name so they
added the number.
I'm obsessed with thinking that it's maybe using our connection.
Think of a very heavily tattooed drummer.
Oh, shit.
Go ahead, I'm not going to catch it.
Blink 182.
Blink 182, yeah.
Travis Barker is the drummer.
Travis Barker, yeah.
A guy that's led an interesting life.
Yeah.
He used to tell people, I got all these tattoos to make myself unemployable so I would have
to make my living as a drummer.
Yeah, I heard that.
I was like, wow, what a weird concept.
Yeah.
Then whoever, no doubts, the drummer was, he used to like to perform naked.
Absolutely butt ass naked.
Wow.
Yeah.
And then he'd put like devil makeup on his face and twist his hair up into horns.
I remember one time on an MTV beach party they made him wear underwear.
But usually he's back there behind the drums totally nude.
He didn't care.
Well, I remember Flea used to come out whitey tidies and perform.
Yep.
And then there's that one famous incident where the whole Red Hot Chili Peppers came
out for the encore wearing nothing but tube socks on their wieners.
And they managed to fall off by the end of the song.
Yes, yep.
Okay.
All right.
Here's a band that used to call themselves the Sex Maggots.
Actually, I knew this one.
Yeah, this one probably made the rounds.
I can't think of who it is, but I knew this one.
I remember that name, Sex Maggots.
The Goo Goo Dolls.
The Goo Goo Dolls, yeah.
You wouldn't think the Goo Goo Dolls would be the Sex Maggots.
No, I mean they're just like one of those bands that are like, I don't know, calm, safe.
But the name is, that name is nothing like it.
Nasty and violent, gross.
All right, here's a band that used to be called the Village Idiots.
And people still probably think of them as that.
I can't think of, I know.
It's a band everyone loves to hate.
Yeah.
Nickelback.
Nickelback, that's it.
There are probably people still calling them the Nickelback Idiots.
Nickelback, their hometown in Canada took their name down.
They were really hurt by that.
They took it down, they said they were going to do like some sort of a construction.
They never did, they just never put it back up.
Wow.
Yeah.
All right, there was a band called Smile, because several members of the band were dental students.
I think I knew this one too, but.
Probably do, Queen.
Queen, yeah.
I remember watching Bohemian Rhapsody and when Freddie Mercury joined the band, they were still called Smile.
That's right, that's right, yeah.
All right, here's this one you'll get.
They used to be called Genesis or Mammoth.
Uh-huh.
Van Halen.
Van Halen, yep.
Yeah, and that's where, oh go ahead.
The story was that they were supposed to, they were going to call themselves Rat Salad,
and David Lee Ross said, no, no, no, name it after yourselves.
Well, they never were called Rat Salad, they were just thinking about it.
Yeah, yeah.
But the two names they performed under were Genesis and Mammoth.
And that's how Van Halen's son Wolfgang got the name Mammoth Van Halen.
And of course some other band was using the name Genesis.
Yeah, that's right, yes.
Yeah.
And here's a band that were called the Detours or the High Numbers.
60s band.
Where did they do that, where did they go?
Started in the 60s, popular in the 70s.
The Who?
Yep.
Okay.
Yep.
I think I knew that, so anyhow, go ahead.
Alright, and the last one I have, a 90s band, used to be called Twisted Kites,
or Did Crawled from the South.
Yeah, I got you.
Another kind of gentle, safe band.
Yeah, shit.
Atlanta, Georgia.
Yeah, they were a big radio hit.
Huge radio.
Yeah, go ahead.
REM.
REM, that's it.
I remember there was a little bit of interest in lead singer Michael Stipe on what his sexuality was at the time.
Yes.
And then that quickly faded.
But then Michael Stipe picked up on it and kept bringing it up to people, saying,
well I'm not going to discuss it, I'm not going to discuss it.
And people kept saying, we're not asking you.
Yeah, I remember that.
Nobody's asking you.
And he kept bringing it up, and after a few years he finally came out as bisexual or gay.
And everybody was like, yeah, so.
Yeah, we already knew this.
We cared for a little bit back then, but then we quit caring.
Apparently he hung onto it and thought it was a big deal.
No, he did, I know.
And he was trying to publicize it, really.
He was trying to...
Yeah.
It kind of smelled like something that his manager came up with to get their name back in the press.
It's like, okay, let's have you come out now and make a big splash.
That's when everybody was coming out.
No, they gave us shit.
Yeah, yeah.
They really mistimed that if they were trying to get some sort of promotional or mileage out of it.
It held nothing.
And anybody that knew was like, yeah, he's at least bisexual.
It was the same thing with Rosie O'Donnell.
When she came out, everyone was like, yeah, so, we already knew.
Yeah.
Or actually Rob Halford even.
Yeah.
Let's see, Michael Stite, he was not photographed very much after, let's see, their last album,
their last album of any type of a success at all.
He was getting very skinny.
And there's big rumors that he had AIDS.
I remember that.
And he would never answer it.
He would never answer that question.
Yeah.
Matter of fact, he would cut interviews off and go, that's it.
But I guess he's still alive.
Yeah.
Yeah, I tend to think it was more either anorexia or bulimia.
Yeah, and he changed the narrative to that to shut it down.
Yeah.
Let's see.
Oh, I remember Michael Stite did a famous duet with, oh, I can't remember, it was the
red-haired gal from B-5010, Kate.
Oh, Kate.
Blanking on her last name.
Anyway, they did the song, Shiny Happy People, together.
And like a week or so after the song came out, she was interviewed saying, oh my God,
that guy's such a weird person.
He is, I'm never doing a song with him again.
I don't want to go near him again.
He is so freaking weird.
I believe it.
Which is a real bad look for Michael Stite.
Yeah.
Wow.
When your musicians are saying, I don't want to work with that guy, he's a freak, then
you got something there, you know.
Yeah.
Musicians are used to the weirdness of the weirdness.
Yes, they are.
And I remember the drummer for R.E.M. got, or was it, see Larry Mullen, is he the drummer?
No, he's the drummer for U2.
U2, yeah.
Yeah.
He's the one who got brain cancer in the middle of a tour.
Yeah.
And then they had to stop the tour.
And I...
I credit to them, they did.
I never really heard the guy do anything except U2, but then he shows up on an Alice Cooper
album, Paranormal, and he plays the drums for that whole album.
That's right.
Yeah.
Who would think that the U2 drummer would fit right in with an Alice Cooper studio album?
Alice Cooper did.
Yeah.
He did a great job.
It was an awesome album.
How interesting.
Yeah.
That is odd.
Yeah.
Let's see, did I have anything...
I think I went through all my stuff.
Okay.
Nita Strauss has some competition firing up her butt.
There is a woman named Lari Basileo who plays guitar extremely well, and I think she's prettier
for whatever that's worth.
Her fingernail polish and her lipstick are always color coordinated, which actually looks
pretty cool when she's playing guitar.
That's cool.
She has had her own signature pickups made by Seymour Duncan for a while now, and now
she has her own signature guitar from Ibanez, same company that makes Nita Strauss' signature
guitar.
Oh.
Yeah.
Okay.
Now, what is saving Nita Strauss so far is Lari Basileo doesn't play the shredding heavy
metal stuff.
What she plays is way more tasteful, way more interesting, and way more musical.
I think if she wanted, she could replace Nita Strauss in that band.
I think we might.
As far as talent goes.
But Nita Strauss is in the band to be looked at primarily, and she's got way more flash
than Lari Basileo does, but I think Lari is a much better guitar player.
I agree.
Yeah.
If you go to Seymour Duncan YouTube channel, and you can see a bunch of her videos, or
just type in her name, Lari, L-A-R-I, Basileo, B-A-S-I-L-I-O.
She's all over the YouTube.
Yeah.
No, I think she's better also.
She's a really good guitar player.
She's not the technical, boring type.
No.
Everything has got soul.
It's got emotion.
It's got feelings.
Yeah, because one of the things that pisses me off is the new type of playing that's precise
with no feeling.
Yeah.
And Nita Strauss is more of that, no feeling, just like...
Yeah, I can listen to that for a song or two, but then I'm bored.
Yeah, I get bored too.
It's not the same.
It's not... It doesn't come from somewhere.
Yeah.
And then we can talk about Marshall.
Oh, let's do that.
It was about a year and a half ago that the Marshall family sold the majority of their
stake in the company to a Swedish company called Sounds.
Now even at that point, Marshall's main source of income is not their guitar amplifiers and
hasn't been for a while.
It's their Bluetooth speakers and headphones.
That is by far the majority of their income.
Sounds held onto them for about a year and a half.
Sounds never intended for it to be a long-term ownership because they're an investment group.
They were just rehabilitating the brand and getting them ready for their current purchaser,
which is Hongshan Investment Group, which is Chinese-based.
They are basically a technology company.
Some of the things they invest in are like ByteDance, the parent company of TikTok.
They invest in a number of companies that run automation machinery.
It's all high-tech kind of stuff.
They also are a major investor in Alibaba, which is the Chinese version of Amazon that
sells mostly counterfeit and knockoff stuff.
And now they own the majority of Marshall.
Yeah.
What did you set me at?
Nothing sacred.
Yeah.
I mean, currently you can still get some Marshalls made in the UK, and then you get some that
are made in Vietnam.
My Marshall combo was made in Vietnam.
And then you get Chinese-made ones.
Usually it's the lower-end solid-state stuff that's made in China.
Yeah.
And that's the way it's going to go, too.
Yeah.
I can see the majority of Marshall manufacturing moving to China.
I could, too.
And who knows what that's going to mean for Marshall amplifiers.
Well, what it means is the people that are making them are disposable.
Yeah.
Which means there's nothing into it.
It's not quality.
It won't be quality.
They're going to go for selling more at a lesser price.
There are actually some amps out there that people are calling disposable amps now.
There's a Blackstar amp.
It's a 5-watt practice amp.
But it's a tube amp, so it's not cheap.
There's the HT5, and it will break down eventually.
And there is basically no one that will work on it.
So they are basically disposable amps.
When it breaks down, just junk it, because no one's going to want to fix it.
Oh, kind of like TVs.
Yeah.
True.
There used to be a television repairman, believe it or not, if you're younger.
Yeah.
I used to work at a company that rebuilt the picture tubes for TV sets.
Your picture tube wore out.
You'd swap it out and get a new picture tube.
Yeah.
Now you just throw the whole TV away.
Yeah.
You called the zenith repairman, and he would come out and swap out the tubes and all that.
Yeah.
And if it was really bad, he would disconnect the chassis and take it with him back to the
shop.
Yes, yeah, and rebuild it and bring it back.
The rest of your TV was still sitting there.
He just pulled the electronic guts out and dug it with him.
And all it would be is kind of like a dark green screen, and that's it.
Another amp that's getting a reputation as disposable, unfortunately, I own this one.
It's the Fender Blues Junior.
It's a 15 watt tube amp.
It's mostly clean, a little bit of overdrive.
I remember going to a store, and I had some money, some free money that I could afford
to spend.
And I asked the guy, if you were only going to have one Fender amp for mostly clean, a
little light overdrive, which amp would it be?
And he said, Fender Blues Junior.
So I tried out a couple and found one with a speaker I liked and bought it.
That's cool.
And now come to find out that Fender's cheaped out on the manufacturing.
And the vacuum tubes that power it, they put out a ton of heat.
Normally you have those sitting in sockets, and then the sockets are attached to the circuit
board.
Instead, these tubes are directly wired into the circuit board.
So as the tubes heat up, it heats up your entire circuit board.
And every solder joint gets stressed and expands and then contracts and expands and then contracts.
And every time you turn it on, warm it up, and turn it off, the little holes that your
tube sits in get a little looser.
And eventually the places where the tubes plug in are all worn out.
And the only thing to do is replace the entire motherboard.
And you might as well buy a new amp at that point.
So I've learned that when I play with my Fender Blues Junior, I only have it on for like an
hour at the most.
And it's warming up, it's like I'm afraid it's going to wear out and I'm just going
to have to throw it away.
So I use it sparingly.
Wow.
Yeah.
And I'm thinking about selling it, but on the other hand, I don't want to stick somebody
else with this.
Don't do it on Marketplace, a guy got robbed yesterday on it.
I'm sure that happens.
Way too often.
It was in Mission Hills.
Oh my God.
Yeah.
Isn't that crazy?
Yeah.
Wow.
And it's kind of interesting, I'm watching the way the popularity of Rock and Roll Amplifiers
is going.
Marshall has been on the way out for a while.
Oh, I agree.
They were superseded a few years back by Blackstar, which was some former Marshall employees.
But now Blackstar is starting, people are starting to say, you know what, they're not
all that.
And the only way they get the sound is they have a tube screamer built into the circuit
instead of doing it the real way with electronics.
So Blackstar is starting to lose their shine and I'm seeing a boatload of magnetones, which
are really expensive.
Slash now has its own signature magnetone model.
And these are great amps, great sounding, rock solid, real dependable, but they started
about $2,500 and go up from there.
Who can afford that?
Nobody.
Yeah.
Unless you're already a professional working musician, you can't afford that.
It's going to be interesting to see how long those are out.
Yeah.
Well, what I think a lot of people like me are doing, I play guitar for fun.
I don't go on stage ever and play guitar, I just do it for myself.
So you could say I play with myself a lot.
Join the rest of the club.
So I don't need professional grade equipment.
I'm okay with Epiphone instead of Gibson.
I'm okay with the solid state instead of the tube amp for most of the art.
Although Epiphone, there's nothing wrong with Epiphone.
Oh hell, those are awesome Epiphone's out there.
Where was I leading this?
Oh, you don't ever play on stage.
Yeah.
Just for yourself.
So I really don't need the pro.
What I see a lot of people doing that produce their own music at home is going to not necessarily
the modeling amps anymore, which is they create a digital model of a certain amp and then
you call up that preset, you can play like you have that amp.
Instead they've got something called a profiler, whereas you have an amp that you like and
it sounds great.
So you hook it up, you mic it up, get it sounding where it's exactly what you want, then you
hook this profiler up to it and this profiler learns your amplifier.
And then this profiler now can reproduce your amplifier's exact sound at the touch of a
button.
So you don't have to take your expensive amp with you and maintain it or try to dial in
the settings just right.
It's already there in a perfect profile.
That Kemper makes one that a lot of people are switching to.
If you have amps you like, you can create the profile or you can go online and download
a bunch that are already made.
So now you've got all these awesome sounding amps without spending the money.
You don't have to maintain them, you don't have to fix them, they never wear out.
Why not?
Yeah.
No, I mean look, if you don't play for a living then yeah.
And especially if you don't play on stage anywhere, you don't need the visual effect
of a big churning amplifier blasting out the sound.
Parking attendant.
Yep.
She's probably writing down what time our car is sitting there.
I'm coming back in two hours and you're still here getting the tickets.
So I was watching a video about that this morning.
A guy was saying, I really like the profiler.
They make a second model which is like half of it.
It doesn't have the ability to learn your amp, it's called the player.
It just plays back pre-made profiles.
So you can't make your own, you can just play back once.
Some people are going for that and just opting for what's available on the web.
But I'm seeing a lot more musicians, there's like, you know what, I've got this awesome
amp with these hard-to-find tubes and the speaker that's just right and I can't really
duplicate this ever so I'm going to make a perfect digital copy where I always have it.
This is my amp exactly how I like it to sound and it's on tap anytime I want it.
Why not?
It saves you crap.
I mean the Kemper profile is expensive but it replaces like a dozen super expensive amplifiers
if you want.
That's pretty cool.
Yeah, it is very cool.
Alright, well, should we go ahead and...
I think we should, about running out of stuff.
Yeah, me too, I got everything I got.
Alright, well I guess next week we can do our predictions on the sports creeps and I'm
sure we'll find some other stuff to talk about and then we'll go into music stuff.
But I'll have more music stuff next week because this week I just went and had a lot of sports
stuff going on.
Yeah, no kidding.
Alright.
Maybe the music creeps can talk about the Super Bowl halftime show.
Oh yeah!
After the Super Bowl we can talk about it, definitely.
And I even forgot who's playing.
I can't remember either because the NFL will sell the rights to one performer and then
that performer will sell five minutes here, ten minutes there of stage time to a bunch
of other performers to help spread out the cost.
But you'll have the headliner which is the one that paid the NFL up front for the ability
to play at the Super Bowl.
Yeah, isn't that funny?
You think it would be the other way around, who can we get, who do we gotta pay?
It's like no, no, no, no.
You pay us.
I remember when Van Halen moved out to LA to break in the music scene and they're like,
this is stupid.
You've got this hot club, you've got 20 bands that want to play there every night, so we
wind up having to pay for the honor of going in there and playing our music.
We don't get paid for this, we are paid to get in there and play.
That's the way the Super Bowl halftime show is.
So many people want to do it, they're willing to pay.
Yeah, I know, isn't that something?
It's a huge career boost if you do it right.
No it is, and it works too.
Or if you're Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake, it can be a great big headache for you.
Yes, and then the FCC goes after everybody but CBS.
Everyone but CBS.
Yeah.
Yeah, alright.
Yeah, yeah.
Everybody have a good evening, thanks for listening, go fuck yourself.