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Two Deucebags and a Microphone. The only podcast with gusto. That's right, gusto. Just like Schlitz beer. Google it.
Two Deucebags and a Microphone.
Coming at you from the home of the Super Bowl bound Kansas City Chiefs. That's right. The Super Bowl bound Kansas City Chiefs.
The one that would not make it past the first fucking round of the playoffs. Yeah, that one, Rex Ryan. That one, Skip Tard. Fuck you both. You guys are idiots.
Anyhow, Rob, how are you doing today?
I'm doing good.
Good.
My cheese one.
Yeah, that was a great game too, wasn't it? It was everything.
It's a typical cheese game. It's a nail biter.
Yeah, that's the way they play. They don't want to blow people out like Billy did.
No, no, no, no.
But I guarantee you they will play right along with Billy.
Yeah, when it comes to winning and closing a game, the Chiefs are one of the best, if not the best ever.
If you are down to one score, you better watch out. The Chiefs are going to catch you.
The only way you can beat them is like what Buffalo did during the regular season.
And that's get a couple of scores up with like a minute left.
Other than that, you better watch out. They're going to come back and they're going to get you. And that's just all there is to it.
And that is a mark of great coaching. It's a mark of skilled players.
It's a mark of people that are still hungry and they're still hungry. They want that three-peat.
So Rob, I ask you this. What does Josh Allen, Joey Burrow, and Lamar Jackson all have in common?
They sent the right kickers to the Super Bowl.
That's a good one. They are all Pro Bowl eligible now. Thank you. Thanks to Kansas City.
Kansas City had a hand in all of these guys.
Yeah, yeah. They got to play this weekend.
Yeah, yeah, yep. And the world weeps. And we know it. And we love it.
So eat a bowl of ship flakes unsweetened with a fork. World.
The Chiefs are back in it. Fucking deal with it. Sack up. Look in the mirror and go,
I am good enough. I'm strong enough and I can handle another Chiefs victory. And there you go.
Sorry we've warned you for a long time we are a Chiefs fan.
Yes, and we're very sore winners. We will remember.
So the Kansas City Chiefs are once again Super Bowl bound. They're making a run on history.
If they three-peat with a Super Bowl win, we will be the first team ever to do that.
Which is really cool because then you're in the argument for greatest team ever.
And then you're in the argument for greatest quarterback ever.
Then you're in the argument for greatest coach ever.
Then you're in the argument for greatest high end ever.
I mean this whole thing here is just, it is, I just...
One game. One game. Says it all.
Yes. And they're not overlooking them. I can guarantee that. They overlook nobody.
So...
They're going for the three-peat. They want to win.
You know I am just so happy because my dad didn't get to witness this.
My brother didn't get to witness this.
That we are around to witness this history and such things going on in our town.
It's just, it's magical. Is it not?
Oh there's shit going on down here at the lake man.
Oh people are ecstatic everywhere.
Oh yeah. Everywhere.
And I learned to... This is weird and I'm going to ask you about this too Rob.
I learned to embrace my uneasiness. My uneasy energy.
My being on pins and needles the couple of days before and then especially right before kickoff.
You know it's like an easy, it's like a nervous energy that you can't get rid of.
I've learned to embrace it. It's like look, this is going to be cool.
Whether the Chiefs win or not, this is going to be an epic game. And it was.
And we always know if the Chiefs are involved it's going to be an epic game.
And usually we are on top.
So that nervous energy this time, and I mean actually it's happened for about a year now.
That nervous energy, I kind of like now. What about you?
Yeah, yeah. I feel comfortable with them.
Yeah I do too. And I used to hate that nervous energy. I was like, oh no now man.
If they lose it's not going to be by much.
Yes, and also if they lose their legacy is still sealed.
And if I remember right, they already had Steele in the Super Bowl.
Yeah, the Chiefs are very unique because they faced...
And did they win that one?
Yes. They faced, they're going to face the Eagles two times and they faced San Francisco two times.
They beat San Fran two times and they beat the Eagles once.
And that are the three that they've won.
So this is interesting how this is panning out.
So if they beat the Eagles they're probably also going to be the first team to beat two of the same teams in Super Bowls.
You see what I'm saying? A pair of twos. Yeah.
Then what I think we need to do, we need to shake up the conferences.
Well the conferences are getting shook up. Do you see who the Raiders hired?
I want Buffalo in the NFC. I want Buffalo in KC and San Francisco.
I love that idea. Because then Buffalo can make it to a Super Bowl because Josh Allen so deserves to be in one.
I mean think about it. The divisional game is one of the highest rated games on TV and it's been Kansas City and Buffalo.
Let's get them to the big one now.
Yeah, everybody agrees. They knew that this was the game of games.
Everybody I talked to is like, man I can't wait. Whether you wanted the Chiefs to win, lose, or didn't care.
You were watching this game because you knew it was Allen and Mahomes. The two best by clear.
It was an awesome game. Every time.
It was everything it was built up to be and probably even a little bit more.
I mean the look on Josh Allen's face was really, I mean I like the guy. He is a fantastic dude.
Oh yeah, I do.
How can you not like the guy? Mahomes loves him. He's best friends with Mahomes. Great friends with Kelsey.
Him and Andy Reader, Chummie, McDermott and Andy Reader friends.
You know the thing is, is this right here. You hate to see those guys lose and that's what Mahomes said too.
Mahomes said I really hate that it had to be us to do that because he likes Josh a lot. They're really good friends.
And I get that. It's like why couldn't it be Baltimore again? Well they beat him last year too. They beat the Bills.
You know the only thing that the Bills are guilty of is being in the same conference as the Chiefs.
Right.
And I forgot who said.
We're going to be hitting the big game man. I think yeah that would sell big.
I think it might have been Stephen A that said this. I'm not for sure.
But said that there are going to be a lot of quarterbacks in this era that will not get rings that should have gotten rings because of Mahomes.
I think if there wasn't Mahomes in there they were good enough to get there and get to the Super Bowl.
And if Mahomes wasn't there they wouldn't meet Mahomes in the Super Bowl.
The only guy to get by on Mahomes is Brady and Brady is right now the all time best ever as of right now.
And that and Andy Ritz and all that shit. And we didn't have any front line. The offensive line was decimated.
But anyhow no one else has seen got over him on him so far.
But one one time though Cincinnati did not beat us.
Mahomes took the team on his back and he threw an interception by mistake of course.
And that's the only time in Cincinnati did that one time.
And you you talk to them and you think that they're the ones that won two Super Bowls and went to five of them or three Super Bowls.
You know they really have an inflated view of themselves that's not realistic.
They're not nearly as good as they think they are.
And the way that and they want someone else to help them out getting into the playoffs is absurd.
Why in the world would we give one ounce of shit if they make the playoffs right now.
Sorry we're saying I heard you're still listening.
I heard from someone she still listens.
I hope. I hope.
Yeah. So yeah Ruthann.
Well we both know it's only for me.
Yeah I know. No she probably mutes my parts.
Which makes me feel really good.
So I'm in a dilemma Rob.
My Mahomes jersey.
My Mahomes jersey the one that we've been winning on desperately needs a washing.
But we've been on a tear since it's been done.
Do not. Do not. Do not.
I should just ride it out shouldn't I?
Ride out. One more game. One more game.
But we might go out for the Super Bowl. Do I just go in bed?
I have never washed mine.
Okay so I just go out stinking and fuck everybody.
Yeah.
Okay. Alright.
That's the good luck charm man. You do it we're going to lose.
Yeah. Yeah.
You're right. I'm going to have to wear it.
I believe in it. I believe in it.
My fucking ketchup stains. My buffalo sauce.
That's the lame way to go sports.
Yeah. Yeah you're right.
So and the other thing is this right here.
The very first Super Bowl that we won under the Mahomes era.
The 2021.
And every time I was we were at a friend's house.
And anyhow luckily he's pretty affluent because I could I had a big screen there in the kitchen where I could watch it.
But this is the truth.
I would be there sitting in the living room with everybody.
Okay.
And the chiefs would be doing horrible.
Because that game I mean they were behind most of that game of the first Super Bowl right.
San Francisco looked like they were kicking their ass.
And they kind of were at first.
And Mahomes just couldn't get it on track.
Every time I go to the kitchen we'd score a touchdown or get a fumble recovery.
So the last time we got fumble recovery I go into the living room and everyone says get back in the fucking kitchen right now.
So I did.
But like I said luckily the guy had a huge big screen in the kitchen.
So against Philadelphia we were behind by 10.
They're right before halftime.
My friend Orrin I told Orrin about it at work.
And Orrin sends me a text.
Get in the fucking kitchen.
Anyhow so that's another one too.
And then the only time we lost the Super Bowl I could not get to a kitchen because of where we were.
And they lost.
So there seems to be two things.
You know there's two things.
We probably won't go out because of that.
Probably stay at home.
You know there's two things.
A dirty Mahomes jersey.
And go into the kitchen when things get bad.
So am I going to have the TV in the kitchen?
You're fucking right I am.
So.
If not you got your phone brother.
Yeah you know what?
Yeah I love watching it on the phone.
I do it all the time.
Yeah we have technology these days.
You don't watch it on your phone.
Never in the world when I was a youngster would I have ever dreamed that you'd have a TV on your phone.
And your phone didn't have to be attached to a wall that's attached to a telephone pole and going through a wire.
I would have never.
Tell me about it.
Yeah isn't it crazy.
So we just got.
I got DirecTV streaming.
Although you know I was a Jetsons fan.
So I believe that technology was going to evolve.
Oh speaking of Jetsons.
Yeah we have a question about that.
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah.
Yes we do.
So anyhow well.
May I have the floor for a few minutes.
You may have the floor Rob.
Okay and with your permission can I go into Music Creeps.
Absolutely we love you on Music Creeps dude.
We just wish you could align with you so you could join us but it doesn't.
Yeah well I'm busy cutting steel while you guys are.
Dicking off at the city market.
Yeah you're sitting having coffee.
A beard little slap ass in and skipping around the maypole.
I'd rather take my body weight and steel.
Yes well we'll skip you around the maypole.
Go ahead I'm sorry.
No actually I'm surprised I did not wake you and Topher up about 6 15 6 30 this morning.
I did have to get up and take a piss and scratch my nuts.
Maybe it was during that.
You think?
Well I was listening to the last episode of Music Creeps.
Yes.
And you guys came to go for a while so I only got like half of it in this morning.
Yeah we can't shut up.
The best part was the fist fight songs.
I love that segment. Love it.
Dude I loved it too. I loved it too.
But the whole time that's why I'm saying I'm surprised I did not wake you guys up two and a half hours away.
Because I was screaming at you guys and answering.
Please please go ahead.
For a while.
But but but I do have to say.
Thank you Topher.
Topher brought mine out.
Thank you Topher.
Gator country.
Yeah yeah yeah yeah.
That's a good one.
Well you know me Mark.
I go country to whatever.
You are very musically rounded.
You know me with my southern rock.
Yeah that I was screaming Gator country you guys.
From 615 to 630.
Until Topher finally brought out. So thank you Topher.
Yeah cool he did.
I do have to add my number one.
Oh please do.
There's a dog by Nassau.
Oh shit.
Yeah that.
I do not have the music to play for everybody like Topher did.
I'm kind of embarrassed we didn't think of that Rob.
I am too honest.
Well you think about the Guns N' Roses version.
Could you do that one too or does it have to be Nazareth.
No it has to be Nazareth.
Okay all right.
Yeah.
You know me I like the original.
Well the Nazareth one to me sounds better.
Guns N' Roses did a great job covering it.
Don't get me wrong.
But they didn't change the song any.
If they changed the song some maybe I'd be a little bit more fond of it.
But I mean the original is just fine.
So I stick with that.
So wow.
I really enjoyed that segment.
I really did.
Yeah we're going to do that more.
And I'll tell you what we won't do that this time because we're going to be at the city market.
But whenever we're at the no filter studio to where we can play.
Actually no no no.
You know what.
We can do it out there and we might.
I'll tell you what.
Well you're not going to have time.
Just send me when you get a chance.
Send me your songs during a fist fight in your head.
And I'm pretty sure we're going to be doing this segment regularly.
The next time we do it we will include yours.
And I'll try to give you a little heads up next time.
A few days.
Yeah.
So that's the way we were doing it.
But then we had holiday break and things happened.
So we get back.
We all had health things going on in our families at the same time.
All of us.
So we didn't have a chance to do what we wanted to and call you from the city market and have you join in.
Right. Right.
So we're just going to keep like we have been doing and have Rob chime in via a list.
And it's been working great.
So.
And maybe someday we can arrange a special one maybe.
You talk to Topher.
We'll find out.
You know what.
On one of my days off we can do one.
I can guarantee you we can do that.
I already talked to Topher about it.
I can do three way three way calling right here.
All right.
We could do it like you and I do it after work.
We could take one night and do a special music group.
I'm telling you you guys take music groups further than I could.
You know what I mean.
You guys talk technical stuff.
But I'll be right there.
No no no no.
What you know is fine.
Right.
The music.
Like I said.
One of my favorites is Southern Rock.
And there's a lot of Southern Rock.
Can you think of an Allman Brothers or something like that maybe.
Oh yeah yeah I could have.
But.
Even.
Since 1530 I'm screaming gator traction.
Yeah that's cool.
Yeah we're good.
Which also leads me into another music group subject.
Okay.
At work.
People learn you never know what's coming out of my speaker.
Uh huh.
I listen to all kinds of music.
Uh huh.
Country.
Well Southern Rock definitely.
Uh huh.
Rock heavy metal.
You know I listen to it all.
Yeah yeah.
I've been kind of catching attention to Lee Wilder's music.
Yeah.
I hit him up earlier.
Me and him were starting a support group.
Okay.
It's for people that are musically bipolar.
Oh there's a lot of people like that.
I know I think I know where you're going with this but keep going.
No just today okay.
Uh huh.
Early in the morning.
I walked by his area.
He was jamming to Five Figure that much.
Do you remember which song it was?
No I don't.
It was one of the harder.
Yeah it was.
Okay okay.
I said that.
You know why I said that.
Well I went back to my station and wrote it down because I was working on this.
Cool.
Because I noticed his music.
Well it was funny later in the afternoon.
I go walking by.
He's listening to Eddie Rabbit driving my life away.
Okay.
Wow Five Finger Death Punch.
I just kept walking and I started laughing and I waited for him to come up to the bender
where they bend the rails and stuff to come into the town and you know to make the frame
of the trailer.
And I caught him.
I just walked up to him.
I said dude me and you need to start a support group.
He goes what?
I told him I said dude this morning you were listening to Five Finger Death Punch.
A while ago you were listening to Eddie Rabbit.
You and me are a lot alike.
We listen to all kinds of music.
He goes yeah I do and he was laughing.
Yeah.
Hey it does allow us to listen to all kinds of music.
Need a support group.
We really do.
Yeah no I would agree.
I like a little bit of everything and I can listen to a little bit of everything.
I have my mainstay which is hard rock.
It's not even metal really.
I'm more of a hard rock guy and I tend to like a lot of the classic harder stuff.
You know with Ozzy and stuff like that mixed in.
I have newer artists that I like too.
But you know what I mean but I like a little bit of everything too.
I listen to everything.
Variety is the spice of what we know is life.
So there you go.
Well should we take our first break and I want to come back with some emails which is going to go to our list.
Sound good?
Yeah sounds great.
Sounds great.
And then I got to ask you something about the podcast.
Remind me if I forget.
All right brother.
All right.
We'll be right back.
All right.
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It even had a brain though too underdeveloped to function encased in a thin skull with a patch of hair.
Our constant pursuit for a real knee slapper.
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Every time you put on your tennis shoes may the laces be tied in a knot.
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Harambe does not listen to our original show Two Dipchats and a Cheap Radio Shack Realistic Tape Recorder anymore.
You might ask why Harambe never listens to our original show Two Dipchats and a Cheap Radio Shack Realistic Tape Recorder.
Well it's because Harambe is dead.
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Sorry Harambe.
Two Douchebags and a Microphone Live from in America.
Actually we're not live when this drops but we're live right now right Rob?
Yeah I'm live and breathing.
I'm live too so there you go it's live.
Yeah.
Alright.
Anyhow Kansas City here.
I just want to say something.
I don't know if you're going to hear it through the break or not but I started laughing.
I had to put you on mute because I heard Val yelling at one of the dogs.
Oh yeah yeah Cookie the old Chihuahua.
She's 17 years old and sometimes she tends to wail.
I heard Val yell, come here.
I think she's trying to wander into the podcast.
Cookie is somewhat blind.
She don't want him to learn bad habits.
Yeah well Cookie is somewhat blind.
Val don't even listen to us.
Oh no no no no.
Nope too classy.
Not our garbage.
Well let's go into some emails but yeah you did catch that.
I was wondering how loud that was.
So yeah okay.
Well Cookie whenever you're moving a little bit like if I'm doing this podcast.
Like I said she's kind of blind.
Not all the way.
But she thinks you're eating something when you're moving a little bit.
And she starts barking at you because she wants some food.
So if she would have wandered in here we would have had a Cookie guest star.
But she didn't.
So anyhow Val cut her off at the pass.
I got Blacky and Paulus but they're quiet.
Oh yeah.
Yeah that's cool.
How are the dogs doing? Are they doing alright?
Oh they're doing great man. They're doing great.
Good and if anyone doesn't know these are his dogs.
Blacky was a perfect fit here. It was a perfect home for him.
That's cool.
I get him out walking when weather permits.
He's like a lot of us old men. He doesn't like the cold weather.
Oh yeah.
Well it's supposed to be 50 degrees up here tomorrow.
So Topher and I are going down to the city market.
People will probably be out.
And we're going to try to gauge people's reactions of the Super Bowl coming up.
Yeah it's supposed to be like that all week.
I know.
That first warm up after that crazy cold shit.
It just feels so good doesn't it?
Oh we still have areas of ice and snow down there.
We do too. It's going.
It's where the sun don't hit and melt.
It got really thick.
Yeah.
Alright well let's go into emails.
Let's do that.
Finally a good one. I've been telling the hate ones which we love.
But listen to this and I really like it. It's very nice.
Mark you're sounding fantastic.
Rob is doing well too.
You really are putting together a great podcast.
It really has been fun listening to you progress.
Keep up the good work.
I'm also happy Topher is back in the mix.
Bill Mason. He doesn't say where he's from.
Bill Mason thank you.
What do you think Rob?
Thank you Bill. Thank you Bill.
I also agree with him.
I mean you listened to our podcast a year ago and now.
It takes time.
It takes time yeah.
It is totally different yeah.
Yeah so it's nice to get a little pat on the back every now and then.
Instead of you're an idiot or you sound like shit or whatever.
You know it's nice whenever someone breaks you off a little compliment.
Well I for one am a different person than I was a year ago.
You know we constantly change and evolve.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah I think somewhat for me too.
I mean we always change.
Things happen that make us different.
Well you know the work I've done on myself.
Yeah and you are making a lot of progress and you are really.
And it's helping on the podcast.
It is. It is because you can.
I'm more focused.
And you can hear a definite difference in your tone.
Your attitude. Everything.
So yeah.
It's not my fault we do it from 8 to 9.30 at night.
No it's the only time we do it yeah.
So OK next one what days are the days the Douchebags podcast drops.
Many in Oklahoma City.
Many.
OK generally it depends sometimes I have stuff going on and I can't edit it.
But generally the Douchebag podcast usually will be the next day.
So right now we plan on doing Sundays and Tuesdays.
So Mondays and Wednesdays should be the Douchebags.
And then usually Thursday when I.
Oh go ahead what.
But right now we're at Monday.
We're going to do it two nights in a row.
We did last night for the Chiefs Day.
We're doing it Monday night and Tuesday night this week.
Yeah yeah.
So we plan on normally doing it Sunday night.
And yeah you're right. Sunday and Tuesday.
And then Tuesday I usually do about four or five hours of podcasting.
And that's Topher and I do the music creeps.
And we also do the sports bastards.
The sports bastard is wrapping up though because we only do NFL.
We don't give a shit about any other sport.
So there you go.
So maybe.
Let me think about it.
Let me check my schedule.
We may throw in another.
OK.
All right.
That'd be cool.
You know me.
I do my mode.
I try to do my mode.
Oh no you do excellent dude.
So yeah yeah you know what.
You might get extra months but generally OK.
So let's see.
We'll check schedules.
Yeah.
Monday Wednesdays and probably Thursday and Fridays are the days you're going to get a podcast dropped.
And that's it.
It's going to fluctuate.
I don't always have time to get right to them.
But you know this is a hobby.
This is not a living.
So that's what you get.
Also I don't know what you would tell her that.
Yeah that's another thing too.
And if maybe.
Yeah.
Well we might do it anyway.
I might.
We might bump it up three weeks.
Yeah we could.
We've been known to do that.
Yeah.
So yeah so yeah you know what.
Stay tuned.
We're going to have a lot of other stuff coming up.
But when the sports bastards drop off we will find something else to chatter about.
Trust me.
So it might just be a free for all kind of like douchebags but maybe in a little bit different.
Maybe bringing you like stories about advancements or so you know.
Yeah.
But you know what we're still working on that.
You and Topher are bringing a whole new realm to it than you and me do.
Yeah you and I like to chit chat about all different kinds of shit.
Topher and I like to aim our energy at certain things.
So yeah and you guys are more rounded than I am.
Yeah but you are perfect for this podcast.
And Topher is perfect for those.
So it works out.
Yeah I know.
Yeah.
I love the three of us together.
I really do.
Yeah I do too.
Very much so.
Alright.
Hey guys.
Ricky in Dodge City Kansas here.
You don't have to mention me every show either.
But thanks for doing it.
Here we go.
You want to do Ricky one last time?
Hi Ricky.
Alright there you go.
We're off the hook of all of them now.
So and no one else right in.
That don't mean we can't.
We can't.
We reserve the right to go back to it anytime we want.
So there we go.
Dodge City.
Yep.
Because we love Dodge City.
So I think the whole town listens.
I mean so.
Alright.
Honestly Dodge City is our new Montrose.
Yes it's our new Montrose.
Montrose let us down because their power plant was knocked down and was demolished.
And we're still hurt over the deception guys.
We were really hurt.
Yeah.
And all Dodge City asked out of us is to hear more of us.
Yeah.
They're not asking to go out looking for car parts.
Yeah that's right.
Oh man.
Montrose you guys are consumers.
All you do is take.
Dodge City gives us love.
They don't want anything except a podcast.
Shut up.
So Montrose you want to get back on a good sound you know good footing here?
Get back to us.
Yeah that's right.
So.
Get back to us.
Yep and tightwad.
Let's start making your case.
Yes that's right.
And leave tightwad alone.
They've done nothing to you.
Okay right.
Right.
I still talk to a few in tightwad.
Yeah so there Montrose you guys are the only ones being iced out.
So there you go.
Rob will you ever be on the music creeps?
I would love to hear your input.
Ross and Overland Park.
We I think we covered.
Like we said we're trying to work on that.
Yep.
Yeah we covered that and it's the same as when we covered it a few minutes ago.
Yeah yeah yeah.
So yeah it's yeah gotcha.
There will be special one-offs that we do with the music creeps with all three of us.
And then there's going to be the regular show.
And the reason we don't do the three at once is because when you have three people that you can't see each other.
And their facial expressions and all that it's really hard to do a podcast that is civil.
And I don't mean by people fighting.
I mean by listening to it you know like.
You can read the room when you're all together and know when to shut up and let someone else talk.
But when you're all three of you are trying to talk it gets a little confusing.
So that's why we don't do it all the time is because it's simply it wouldn't sound as good.
But we can do this here and there and you know when we try to do the best we can to not step on each other.
So yeah which actually kind of shows you how I've grown.
Because that's how we do this show.
Actually you and me both.
Yes.
That's how that's how we do two do's back.
We don't see each other.
We don't know when to talk.
We don't know when somebody's moving their mouth or not.
You know.
No I know and we kind of learn to do it.
Yeah we kind of learn to where we kind of read our.
I read your inflection in your voice and you read mine.
Yeah.
And you can tell when something's coming up and whenever someone's like going OK go ahead.
So I try my best.
I try my best.
We both do because I have problems with it too when I can't see you so.
Yeah.
All right.
Well the next one is the final one and this is the one that Ronnie and Tulsa.
Awesome Tulsa King.
Yes.
Hey guys how about naming your top seven favorite cartoon characters of all time.
Top seven Ronnie and Tulsa.
I got mine too.
So go ahead Rob.
OK.
Just telling you.
Just telling you Ronnie.
I had a tough hard time on number seven.
I had a tie but I'm breaking the tie.
I'm sticking one.
OK.
Great babe.
Oh.
I forgot all about him.
That's a good one.
Great babe.
I love great babe man.
Oh yeah.
It was cool.
Yep.
Very cool.
OK.
And then on my list we get into the cartoon dog battle.
OK.
My number six goes to Astro from the Jetsons.
Oh yeah.
I should have picked Astro.
I picked someone else from.
No actually I took him off the list.
I took him off the list.
Forget it.
Go ahead.
Yeah.
I'm just going to say sorry Scooby.
No Astro was cooler than Scooby.
I'm sorry.
OK.
Then number five.
Whack Whack.
OK.
Which one?
My favorite dog.
OK.
Goes to Daffy.
I'm glad you said that.
Daffy is the best.
Daffy.
Yep.
Yes.
He's suffering from flash.
He's awesome.
OK.
Then my number four.
Hong Kong Fooey.
Oh gosh.
I forgot about that one too.
Yeah.
Hong Kong Fooey.
That was great.
I remember Saturday Mourning.
Oh dude.
I love it.
OK.
That would be my number one dog.
OK.
All right.
Yeah.
Hong Kong.
OK.
Astro is my number two dog.
OK.
I get that.
I think that's a great pick.
Number three.
Speed Racer.
Oh.
Damn it.
You see I would want Racer X.
Speed Racer.
You got a fast car.
You got a hot chick.
Yep.
You know.
I would want Racer X.
But Speed Racer is great.
When Racer X called and shot.
He would show up and help him.
Yeah.
But man you can't go wrong with Speed Racer.
Trixie.
Was that her name?
Yeah.
The hot chick.
Yeah.
Trixie.
Yeah.
What was the monkey's name?
They made an actual movie about it.
Oh OK.
What was the monkey's name?
I forgot.
Oh shit.
I can't remember.
Yeah.
I'll look it up later.
He could have been on the list too.
Oh yeah.
I forgot all about this.
So damn it.
Speed Racer.
Racer X would have made my list.
But I'm not going to change it.
I'm going to go with what I got.
So anyhow go ahead.
OK.
Number two.
Captain Kate Man.
Oh shit.
Man.
Fucking awesome dude.
Yeah.
Captain Kate Man was awesome with that club.
Oh dude yes.
Oh gosh.
You were just wild.
I loved it.
Yeah.
That was great.
OK.
Number one.
OK.
Underdog.
Oh yeah.
Yep.
Underdog is great.
I love Simon Bar-Sinister.
Remember him?
Yes.
Yeah.
But oh man.
Yeah.
I was underdog.
Underdog was awesome.
Underdog got a hold of Polly.
Yeah.
Polly Purebred.
Yeah.
She was hot.
For a dog she was hot.
Yes she was.
What was his catchphrase?
Something never fear.
Never fear.
Underdog is here.
Yeah.
That was it.
Yeah.
Actually I left MeTV tunes on for the kids today.
OK.
Wow.
MeTV tunes is fucking awesome dude.
All right.
Have you noticed I'm more of a Hanna-Barbera fan.
Hanna-Barbera was the best.
Warner Brothers was really good too but Hanna-Barbera was the best.
I agree.
And I almost went to Go-Go Gophers.
That's Hanna-Barbera.
Do you remember those?
Oh hell yeah.
Well they're on Underdog.
They are.
Yeah.
They're the second area.
Go-Go Gophers was part of Underdog.
Yeah.
They were the second area.
Oh dude I forgot about the Gophers.
I almost picked them but I didn't.
So yeah Go-Go Gophers man.
That was fucking great.
Remember the song too?
Go-Go Gophers.
Oh hell yeah.
Yeah.
What was the other one?
The Indian Chief.
Geez I think that's on Underdog too.
Oh yes.
Yes.
He came on after Go-Go Gophers.
Yeah yeah.
Smoke in the pipe.
Yeah.
Geez I'm going to have to look this up.
Shit.
I won't remember right now.
I'll remember later.
I'll wake up before in the morning with the name.
That's it.
But anyhow.
Alright so my number seven I should have checked this out better.
I apologize.
But my number seven is none other than Michigan J. Frog.
Oh dude.
Honey my baby.
Honey my darling.
Honey my retro gal.
Yeah.
I love him because every time that bum would try to show off his talents.
It's awesome.
And every time everyone would leave he'd start dancing again.
It was brilliant.
Especially for children you know.
I'm just like wow.
So yeah Michigan J. Frog was my number seven.
Number six I have to go with Jerry.
I didn't like Tom.
Tom was a little smart ass cat.
Or a smart ass mouse.
Jerry always got clobbered by the mouse.
I love Jerry.
Number six is Jerry of Tom and Jerry and that little mouse I like to smash him.
Actually I prefer Jerry.
Okay and I said Jerry.
Tom of Tom and Jerry.
Not Jerry of Tom and Jerry.
I know.
Okay.
I prefer Jerry.
Okay that's cool.
Instead of Tom.
I prefer Tom.
I felt bad for Tom because he should have been able to.
I was the little guy.
I was the one that had to dump shit.
Okay alright I get it.
I got the name Duff.
I just wanted him to catch that little bastard one time and clobber him really good.
But nope.
Never happened.
Alright number five.
I'm proud of this one.
I had to dig deep and think and think.
Marvin the Martian.
Oh shit I forgot about Marvin.
Isn't that great?
Yeah.
Number four I have to go with the all time smart ass of smart asses.
And that would be Bugs Bunny.
I mean he always out clevered everybody.
He always showed up.
He was a pain in the ass.
I mean to me Bugs Bunny was great.
He was like the ultimate pest.
He would go there and razz and destroy you and then take off.
So I got to say Bugs.
Number three I got to go just because this was a...
It started out as a spoof of the honeymooners.
And it was brought to cartoon level.
But yeah it's Fred Flintstone.
The Flintstones were the honeymooners only drawn.
Yes it was.
Yeah and Fred Flintstone I thought was a great character because he was overbearing.
He was an alpha male.
He was stupid.
I mean it was just great.
It accentuated all the stuff that the honeymooners did brilliantly without calling it that.
And Fred Flintstone to me was a really strong character that they developed.
And he still rings true to this day.
People you go Fred Flintstone people are like ah because I talk about my wide feet right.
Even younger people.
I go man I got these fucking Fred Flintstones.
And everyone laughs so you know what I'm talking about.
Fucking wide ass foot right.
So he still is people know who he is he's still relevant.
So number two is very obscure.
I think we talked about it and you remembered it.
Felix the cat.
Yes.
It was a dark dark cartoon.
Yes.
A lot of it was war.
Felix the cat was chaotic and nuts.
And he was insane.
But he was so compelling to me.
I loved him because you never knew what the hell that crazy cat was going to do.
And he wasn't very personable he was just like he was insane.
He was chaotic.
If you don't know what I'm talking about look it up.
Felix the cat.
And my number one I have to stick with this one even with all the good ones that you had.
And that's Woody Woodpecker.
Oh dude yeah see I don't yeah.
Yeah Woody Woodpecker was the ultimate spinoff.
Woody Woodpecker.
Okay I'm sorry Tulsa King I've got to say.
Woody was my type.
Uh huh okay.
Woody I love because he was ultimate smart ass.
But here's what he did better than Bugs Bunny.
After he ridiculed you he pecked you on the face and ran off.
Yeah.
Yeah that's great.
He was all kind of guy.
Yeah he was.
He'd do something and really get you good and then you go.
And then he fucking bailed.
And you couldn't get him he flew off.
Loved him.
Woody Woodpecker I salute you to this day.
You're awesome.
So.
And then I love watching the old Woody Woodpeckers the ugly one with the big feet.
And then the cuter one that came along a little bit later in the 60s and 70s.
Know what I'm talking about?
Yeah.
The old Woody was.
Oh yeah like I said I have BTV tunes.
I watch they show every different kind of years.
Which one is.
I'm surprised all these cartoons are as old as they are.
Oh I know.
I think the original.
We thought they were new when we were watching.
No.
No when we're watching channel 41.
Everything on channel 41 when we watched it because it was an independent channel was reruns.
The I Dream of Genies, the Green Acres, the Bewitched.
All that stuff.
But we didn't know it.
That was how I knew.
The cartoons I did not know.
Oh yeah yeah.
I loved the cartoons.
Which Woody Woodpecker did you like the best?
Did you like the bigger one with the crazy feet and that was insane?
Or did you like the cuter little smaller one?
I liked the newer cuter one.
I did too.
The old one was like nuts.
And the new one was cute.
Yeah he was more like a buzzer.
Yeah yeah yeah.
And he would just downright get insane too.
So he was a strong character.
But I liked the second version of him not the first.
So it's kind of like Vampirilla.
You have your favorite Vampirilla.
You can't really.
You got one that's a definite favorite.
And then gosh I can't think of it.
Gonzalez.
I can't think of his first name.
Anyhow.
But there were several other artists I really liked.
And there was someone that I hated that did Vampirilla.
And so.
Anyhow.
But I liked both the Woodpeckers.
I liked the second one better like you.
So.
Hey let's take our second break and we're going to come back with some shit.
That sound good?
Sounds good.
Alrighty.
Thank you Tulsa King.
We love you.
Yes thank you Richard.
And now.
Deep thoughts with Mark.
Hmm.
Let me think here.
My car keys have actually traveled further than my car.
Hmm.
Weird.
I'm going to go with the
car keys.
And then we're going to take a little break.
And then we're going to come back with some shit.
And then I'm going to.
I'm going to wait.
I'm going to.
For you.
First world problems.
Oh shit! Look at that drive-thru line!
Surely wouldn't expect me to actually have to go in.
Ugh, this sucks.
Oh shit, what's that over there?
Oh no, it's island of horrible jokes.
A ship-tiling red paint and a ship-tiling blue paint collide.
They were all moored.
Jam X.
What the hell happened?
You were the generation of change.
You never wanted to be one of them.
Apathy spoke for you.
Hunk the man, hunk the system.
What the hell happened?
The generation of angst, the generation of noncompliance,
is now buying a boat.
You're really fed up if someone dangles a dollar near you.
Great job, Xers. Everything's ruined.
Next up, things overheard in hell.
Joe Buck and Troy Aitman are being all televised in Radio Games of the NFL this year.
...bags and microphone, I'm Mark.
And I'm Rob.
Okay, number one, what I was going to say was, how do you like some of the new segments that I've been coming up with, like Strange But True and stuff like that? What do you think of those?
I like them, man. We need to get to doing fine.
Yeah, you know what?
We're going to find the time.
I'll talk to you about that off of the podcast, okay?
So, I've got something neat here.
I've got some phrases and where they came from.
And some of this is going to really surprise you, Rob.
And I want to see if you can get some of them where they came from.
I'm not going to do all of them, I'm just going to do a couple.
And then we'll go to you because I know you have stuff you want to talk about, right?
Yeah.
Okay.
The phrase, dead to rights.
Do you have any idea where that came from?
I read that here all back. I forget.
Okay. It originates from 19th century American slang, particularly from New York City, where dead meant completely or utterly, and to rights, which meant properly caught in the act.
Essentially signifying someone being caught committing a crime with undeniable evidence, making it dead to rights.
Being caught red handed with no room for doubt.
So, the dead pretty much means an absolute or complete state, and to rights indicates being caught, so that is it.
And it's primarily used in criminal slang within New York City before gaining wider use.
How about a idiom, bury the hatchet?
Do you have any idea where that came from?
No.
Okay.
It comes from the Native American practice of burying weapons to signify peace.
The phrase entered the English language in 17th century.
Explanation. The practice of burying weapons was a symbolic gesture of peace among Native American tribes in North America.
The phrase is often used to describe settling an argument or making peace with an enemy.
For example, toward the end of the year, the roommates finally decided to bury the hatchet.
So, that's where that came from.
Yeah, after I read that, I was like, okay.
This is one I found interesting, and I actually knew this at one point, and I've forgotten it.
The phrase, paint the town red.
You know where that came from?
Yes.
Go ahead. Yes, I do. Go ahead.
It's American slang that means to have a wild night out.
The phrase likely originated from bonfires in the United States in the 1880s.
The possible origins, they're not for sure, but they think.
Bonfires. The phrase that may have originated from a red glow off of bonfires lighting up the sky.
Or Mississippi River boats.
A steamboat captain might have ordered his crew to paint her boys to single as men to add fuel to the fires at night.
So, that would be paint the town red.
And then the other one is from a night out with, you know what?
That's the one I decided not to do one.
That one right there, because that one is probably not where it originated from.
And also, it goes into a lot of other things. Go ahead.
Okay, you said 1880s?
Yes.
Oh, that's the shit we were doing in the 1980s. A hundred years later.
You're right. We used to always say paint the town red.
Or by partying around bonfires.
Yes. So, evidently that's been a practice for a long time.
I didn't know that. Hey, that's good to know.
It is, isn't it? How about dress to the nines?
I thought this would be interesting.
Yeah, it is.
It is believed to have originated from a Scottish expression mean to perfection.
Or to the highest degree, where nine simply signifies a complete state, the earliest recorded usage appearing in Scottish poetry, with the exact origin of the connection to the number nine remaining unclear, but possibly linked to the concept of achieving the highest possible level, which would be nine before ten, I guess.
Like a perfect score in a game.
So, it's Scottish roots and, you know, I mean, I...
I have a little Scottish in me.
Alright. Yeah, I probably do too, because of my last name.
Okay, the phrase, pull out all the stops.
This one's interesting.
Please explain.
It originates from the playing of a pipe organ, where stops refers to the knobs that control which sets of organ pipes are activated, pulling out all the stops means to engage every pipe, creating the loudest and fullest possible sound.
Signifying usage all available resources are making every key point about this, about the origin.
So there you go. That's pretty interesting.
Okay, I know, actually, I know what you're talking about.
Oh, you know something about pipe organs?
Well, from my time in church and stuff, yeah.
Uh-huh. I actually helped pipe, build pipe organs a long, long time ago.
There was a company right up the road that built pipe organs, and it was interesting because they only built a couple a year.
And that's because they command hundreds of thousands of dollars.
They are very expensive, but every one of these brass pipes have to be pitched just right.
Just right. Right.
Or you're not going to get the sound that you need.
It's extremely difficult to make those cuts and to do them exactly right.
It has to be hand precision by someone that knows what they're doing.
And if you touch one of them, the inside of it where they cut the pitch into it, it will cut your finger off.
Did you know that?
No, I did not.
That's how sharp they are.
Wow.
They are really, really cool creations. Very cool creations if you've ever been around one, which it sounds like you have.
Yeah, I've been around them. I just never got into them.
Oh, and everyone, and everyone, and everyone, the pipes are made by themselves and they're assembled afterwards, which makes it even more difficult.
But that's the only way it can be done and for it to work the way that it needs to.
Anyhow, Rob, we turn to you.
Alright. I have a trivia question for you.
Sure.
Okay. The Back to the Future movies.
Yeah?
Who was the first one to travel in time?
Marty?
Okay, I'll just go into it.
Yeah, go ahead.
It's somebody you would not expect, but once you think about the movie, you'll remember it.
Okay.
This is one I've been saving up for a long time, so I've got to get it out of here.
Back to the Future is considered one of the best constructed screenplays of its genre because the story flows so well and everything is set up, it's paid off.
It's just, once the introduction to the DeLorean, now it functions.
Doc will use the specific spade of the machine,
spade is the strap for the dog Einstein into the DeLorean before using a remote control gadget to speed the DeLorean up to 88 miles per hour and sending it into the future.
While Marty is terrified the poor dog is just vaporized, Doc explains duly that his experiment was a huge success.
Doc sent Einstein one minute into the future, so when the DeLorean returns to the present, the dog's croc shows one minute difference.
As Christopher Lloyd underlines, this makes Einstein the very first time traveler by default.
So Einstein the dog, I mean if you think about it, you think about the movie, it's right.
They sent the dog first.
Einstein was the beginning pig.
Yeah.
That's a little true request.
Yeah.
That's a little true request.
We all knew it, we just didn't realize that we did, you know, I like that.
Those are really cool questions like that, so thank you.
Yeah, yeah, so for your next trivia game night, there you go.
Yeah, yeah, you'll win.
Then what you do is you cut a really gassy fart and you leave the room, right?
Right.
And lock the doors so they can't get out.
All right, Gen Z, we love talking about these guys, right?
They're very interesting folk.
Yes, we do.
Very interesting.
They really are.
We actually, we really have a fondness for them, don't we?
Yeah, we do.
Yeah, they do things differently and they offer no apologies.
I love it.
So, okay, Gen Z is career catfishing in a power move to irk corporate employers.
I love this.
Generation Z's recent foray into the corporate world has been an eye-popping escapade
plagued by their annoying workplace habits and helicopter parents accompanying them on the interviews.
And we talked about that before, right?
Where the parent would come on interview and we're like, yeah, you know what, if I was an employer,
I'd go, get your parent out of here, I'm not hiring them, I'm hiring you.
Wouldn't you?
Definitely.
Yeah, I want someone that could think on their own, doesn't need mommy and daddy to tell them what to think.
So, okay, now newcomers to the nine to five grinder,
inflicting a fresh new level of hell onto the workforce with a trending act of defiance known as career catfishing.
The messy movement sees Zoomers, young adults, ages 27 and under,
accepting a job offer, but not showing up on the first day.
According to, isn't that awesome?
Fucking playing head games with them right off.
According to the January report via CV Genius, which is an online outlet,
an online resume building company actually,
our survey found that Gen Z workers in particular reported opting for creative ways to put themselves first before their jobs.
And this was explained to United Kingdom's base experts,
who found that a staggering 34% of 20-somethings skipped day one of work.
They skipped the first day.
And they don't even communicate with their employer as a demonstration of autonomy.
So, they start their whole employment if they last after the first day.
I would let them go the first day unless it's something really, really like,
hey man, my whole family was killed in a plane crash.
Oh, okay, all right, well we'll see you when you're done.
Best of luck, get ahold of us, whatever.
But right off the bat, they're defying you to prove to you that they're first.
So, after dredging through the ever-exasperated job hunting process,
which often includes submitting dozens of lengthy applications,
suffering through endless rounds of interviews,
and anxiously awaiting updates from sluggish hiring managers,
the Zs are apparently catfishing jobs to prove that they,
rather than their prospective employers, have all the power.
Isn't that interesting?
Hey.
Well, if you have a workforce like that, what are you going to do?
You need to learn a little about business before you take over.
Yeah, but think about this, think about this, Rob.
Okay, let's go down the path 15 years when they are the main workforce in America.
All right.
Okay, if they don't change their ways, they will have the upper hand over employers.
Because they don't care, right?
Okay, yeah.
Yeah.
I'm not saying it's going to work or not.
AI, of course, is going to have a lot to do with this stuff.
They are going to take a lot of jobs.
But, and we'll see.
I mean, if it's a tighter job market, you may see the people tending not to do that because they need to eat.
So, so anyway.
So anyway.
I think that's what it's going to come down to.
You know, I remember when you used to miss a day in the first couple of weeks without a deathly illness or proof of some sort of tragedy or death in the immediate family.
You were fired, right?
You miss the first day and that's it, man.
They don't talk to you.
Matter of fact, when you come in, they're like, no, no, no, no, we went ahead and decided not to hire you.
I mean, it was just, that was the way it was, right?
You knew that.
As a matter of fact, I would go out on a limb and say, if you miss a day in the first month, you may not be let go, but you're going to be eyeballed really hard.
Wouldn't you say?
Right.
And there's a lot of employers that if you miss a day in your night and your first 90 days without a valid reason, you're going to be let go.
I know a couple right now that does that.
They have that policy because that is your proving ground.
That means you proved to them that you will claw, scratch and pinch your way into work no matter what.
You proved that you are loyal and that you can get there and you have a can, you know, that kind of attitude that they require out of their employee.
So it's going to be an interesting little thing going on.
I mean, if they keep it up, I mean, so anyhow, a surprising 24% of the...
Okay, okay, I have a little something to add.
Absolutely.
And I'm living proof?
Sure.
You may not have a vehicle, but you still get to work.
Yeah, look...
No, no, I won't be honest with everybody, I have not had a vehicle in seven years.
You do now though, don't you? Don't you have a truck?
I've been at work every day plus overtime.
Uh huh.
Yeah, it can be done.
I work with some people that Uber to work.
They Uber to work.
A couple of them can't really drive for various reasons.
Yeah, well that's where I'm at, but I'm working on mine.
Yeah, but they Uber to work, they get there just fine.
I know a guy that walks to work and it's about three miles away and he's like, you know, he said it is, it's fine.
He likes walking, he said that it's a good way to walk off a good day and a good way to get revved up for the first.
I ain't walking three miles. I find guys I work with. I give them gas money.
See, it can always be done.
Some of them go right by here and I give them ten bucks a week.
They're like, sure, ten bucks a month.
They're like, right by, you know.
Yeah, ten bucks a week, hell yeah, I'll pick you up.
Yeah, so, so it was surprising 24% of millennials, staffers ranging in age from 28 to 43 have taken a shine to career catfishing too, per the findings.
However, only 11% of Gen Xers have partaken this and this is ages 44 to 59 and 7% of baby boomers and this is personnel over 60 have joined the office treachery.
And like their older colleagues, Gen Zs are apparently more concerned about prioritizing their personal needs and goals than bowing to the demands of corporate culture.
We'll see how this goes.
I'm going to keep an eye on this because this really interests me.
So, anyhow, Rob, we turn to you.
Alright.
Um, staying anonymous is essential for a successful drug dealer.
Yeah.
You agree?
Yeah, I agree.
Especially an internationally wanted one.
Okay.
This is where I go into my new name, Joe Blow.
Okay.
Uh, 43, a known drug king fan has been arrested in Europe after his wife gave away their location with her Instagram post.
Okay.
For years, Joe, yeah, Joe, has been using Costa Rica to ship drugs into the US from the Ramon area.
Mm-hmm.
The Costa Rican Judicial Investigation Department.
Uh-huh.
And nothing on the man, but the DEA did.
Because of this, they kept a close eye on him and his family.
Mm-hmm.
He rarely traveled with his family.
But last year, he wanted to spend time with them in Europe.
Uh-huh.
And then, the drug king fan was arrested after his wife started posting through Instagram about the vacation.
It spent $20,000 to fly them over.
Uh-huh.
And then, the man said, oh, and her feed was filled with telling locations. Her Instagram has now been deleted. But the images that led to the drug dealer being arrested were all over the internet.
The DEA spotted her in Paris, but they dived with her and made their move.
Awesome.
Oh, I bet he's pissed.
When he gets out, she's going to get it.
She'll be delighted to be alive.
He'll probably break out of prison just to beat her ass.
And then he'll go give himself up.
All right, guys, I'm right here.
I almost guarantee she's a detective custody.
I would think so, too.
That's the kind of thing where you call a couple of buddies on the outside, hey, I really, really need this stuff.
Oh, yeah.
That's the one here as high up as he was.
Yeah, yeah.
And you never know that some of your good partners or whatever might do it themselves because they just got fucked out of a lot of money.
Oh, exactly.
Rob, guess what I got here?
I have no idea. It would not surprise me.
Remember Food Wars?
Yes.
They're back.
You have a Food Wars.
I have a Food Wars.
Oh, okay. No, that is totally surprised.
Okay, I decided to bring it back.
And okay, for people who don't know.
Is that diet or order?
Like Ruth Vann in North Central Ohio would know what this is because she is a secret listener because she's been listening a long time.
She hates me, loves Rob.
You still listen to Food Wars.
Yes, yes.
You like Food Wars.
Yeah, yeah, only she's going to cut out my part of it, only listen to Rob.
But whenever she listens to Rob, she listens to Food Wars.
So this is the soup edition.
We've never done soup, remember?
Oh, no we have not.
Okay, well this whole thing started like this.
I was walking through Costco and I'm looking at an orange and a plum in the produce section.
I'm thinking, hmm, I wonder what would happen if that plum jumped up and started kicking the shit out of that orange.
Who would win?
So, this is how Food Wars, don't ask me why.
I don't know why I do shit like that.
I just do.
So, anyhow.
People, you both are the same mentality.
Yes, yeah.
I think it's a guy thing.
So, anyhow, I'm trying to decide who would win in my mind.
I'm walking through pineapples and bananas and going, who would win that one?
Well, probably a pineapple.
They've got that prickly line that could smash a banana.
This is how we do this thing.
It's almost like rock, paper, scissors.
You kind of like to do common sense stuff.
So, okay, the first one I have is broccoli and cheddar versus chicken noodle.
That's a tough one.
What do you think?
Which one?
Broccoli and cheddar soup versus chicken noodle soup.
Which one would kick the shit out of the other one?
Chicken noodle.
Okay, why?
You got a reason?
Noodles would just strangle it.
Uh-huh, okay. That's good. I like that.
Okay.
All right, there you go. Chicken noodle is our first winner.
And that's because a noodle can jump out and strangle the broccoli.
Now, wait a minute. Could the broccoli jump on the noodle and drown it in the cheddar?
No, because the chicken noodle has the water to dilute it.
Ah, okay. I like that.
There we go. Logic.
Okay, chicken noodle is the clear-cut winner.
All right, the next one. Minestrone versus tomato soup.
I think minestrone because those little minestrone could like smash it, like could jump into tomato soup and splash the soup out of the bowl.
What do you think?
Is that it?
Okay, now you got me thinking.
I'm thinking acid in the tomato soup.
In the tomatoes? Could eat up the minestrone?
I'm thinking acid, yeah.
Oh, I got it.
If the minestrone was fast enough, it wouldn't splash all of it out. It would end up laying in some tomato. No, I give it tomato.
I do too, and here's another reason too. The acid in the tomato, the citric acid or whatever it is, I don't think a citric, but anyhow, the acid.
Yeah, it would like blind the minestrone and it couldn't see.
So there we go.
All right, the next one. Vegetable soup versus chicken and rice soup. Which one would win?
Hmm. Yeah, this one's tough.
I don't want to have to give it to the rice.
Okay, what's your race mean?
I tell you guys.
I don't know, the rice would absorb things.
Yeah, the rice could absorb all the vegetable soup and then the vegetables would die because they don't have the soup. Yeah, they would just like, you know, dry up.
I've got to give it to the rice.
Okay, chicken and rice. The next one, clam chowder versus lobster bisque.
Wait a second, then the chicken would come back and walk out.
Oh, hey, hey, hey.
Okay, okay, what was the next one?
Okay, you're right. Clam chowder versus lobster bisque.
I think I'm going to go lobster bisque. It's thicker and has more of a chunky thing. I think it could just smash the clam chowder.
Clam chowder is kind of pasty and powdery.
Yeah, you're right. It's thickness.
Yeah, okay. So lobster bisque beats clam chowder.
All right, the next one. How about French onion soup versus chili?
Now, French onion has that crispy kind of thing.
Okay.
Oh, you're right. Yep. Yeah, yep.
The spices would burn the French onion. You're right.
All right, the next one. Steak soup versus tortilla soup.
Hmm.
Steak.
I think the steak has more substance and I think the steak could smother the tortilla.
The bigger chunks, slam down.
Yep.
If not, we go back. Well, they both have forms already out.
Yeah, that's true.
Yeah, yeah, I think steak soup. And also steak soup is thicker. You put a little flour into it and it's kind of almost like a stew.
So there we go.
All right, the next one. Potato soup versus matzo ball soup.
I'm going to go matzo ball. But then again, potatoes are lumpy.
I don't know what that is, but my vote is potato.
Okay, matzo ball or like little balls. It's Jewish, I believe.
I think potatoes would do it too.
But I don't know.
Okay, but what about the little meatballs, the little matzo balls?
You don't think that they could do some damage to the potato?
If they're big enough chunks of potato, they're going to smash that little meatball.
Okay, all right. Well, I believe if what I know about matzo ball soup is correct.
I don't know. I don't know. I've never heard of it.
You know what? I'm going to do some research on it. Hang on. Let me look right now.
Let's see.
I'm a potato soup fan.
Oh, I love potato soup.
Okay, images of matzo ball soup.
Oh, no, they're huge, dude. They're huge balls.
No, they're going to destroy the potatoes.
If you don't believe me, look at it.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, but no, I believe it.
It is already being boiled or it would be soft. Okay.
Yeah, yeah. These are huge.
All right, there you go.
I mean, you know, the problem is, is we're not Jewish, so we don't know that much about it.
So yeah, there we go. Matzo ball.
The next one lasagna soup versus split pea soup.
Now lasagna soup is fucking tasty.
Split pea is nasty.
I give it to lasagna.
Split pea how?
It's going to drag out the lasagna because split pea is so damn nasty.
You're right. Lasagna would run away screaming.
Yeah.
You're right.
This next one cream of broccoli soup versus black eyed peas, which can be in soup form.
Black eyed peas are hard.
Yeah, I'm going to have to give it to the black eyed peas.
Me too. I think they could rain down on them and smash them and broccoli is soft when it's in a soup.
Give it to the black eyed peas.
They make a good music group anyway.
Yeah, that's right. So there we go.
Just because of that we give it to them, but all the other reasons.
Okay. And finally, cabbage soup versus mushroom soup.
I'm going to go with cabbage soup.
Yes. It would be like it.
Yes. Yep. Yep.
And also if you eat it, it will make you really gassy.
So you got to go with that. I mean alone.
Oh yeah. Oh yeah.
Oh yeah. You can blast people.
I'm just talking about the battle itself.
Yeah, the battle itself. Yeah. But I kind of lean towards cabbage anyhow because what it does to you and the damage you can do to other people's nostrils.
Exactly.
All right. There you go.
Hopefully you're still with us after that exciting edition of Food Wars.
All right, Rob, you got anything to straighten this shit show up?
Oh yeah.
I, uh, person writing is currently part of the required curriculum.
It's fewer than half the U.S. states.
Uh huh.
Well, there's some bills and Missouri is one of them.
It's trying to bring it back.
I hope they do. I think it's a, it needs to be taught.
Should these bills pass and be signed by the governor, Missouri would join those ranks.
Recently the National Archives sent out an all call to anyone who can read the handwriting style in hopes of getting volunteers to transcribe and digitize historic documents largely written in cursive.
The Archives, they still manage to call the skill a superpower in highlighting how few Americans possess the skill of 2025.
Uh huh.
Okay, well, I was going over this story at lunchtime today.
Uh huh.
Oh man, my son sat together at lunch and he talked and stuff.
I was telling this, that I was saying about bringing this story up.
He goes, Dad, they did away with cursive when I was in the third grade.
Okay.
They were just starting as getting big on writing off cursive and then did away with it.
I was like, and now they want to come back with it.
And I mentioned it before on this show.
Uh huh.
You know, I signed, I had to sign load tickets to unload steel and stuff.
You know, and it asked for your signature and your print.
It looks weird if you print on both sides.
And you know, because cursive is a way to make sure you, you know, nobody else can write like you.
You might put a little something into it, you know, that nobody else can.
Yeah, that's right. I do. I was taught that way.
Well, and I mean, you know, like a signature is a lot of ways people can tell someone really wrote something is the signature.
And that's in cursive.
It's personalized because of the swoops and the scratches and the T's and the I's and the F's.
You know what I mean?
Everybody has a different way of doing that.
So. Yeah, exactly. And that's what I've been saying.
Yeah, no, I agree.
You know, you sign a print exactly the same way.
How can you tell whether they're human or not?
You know, whatever.
I would agree.
Well, that was just one I came up with.
Yeah, and I think I hope Missouri does adopt that.
I think it's a good idea.
Yeah, I do too.
I think when you put it back in and honestly that came about at that same time as the new map, which I think we need to get rid of.
You know, my son grew up with me helping him do his map.
And I would show him how we did it.
And it was so much easier.
And he's like, no, Dad, I got to do this, this and this.
You know?
No, I mean, I think it's a good idea.
I think it's a good idea to do this, this and this.
You know?
No, I know what you mean.
I've seen, yeah, it's like they overcomplicate it.
You know?
They do it.
And it actually totally screwed up the whole generation, especially if they go back to curtsy.
That whole generation.
They'll not know how to write cursive.
You know?
Especially on a new...
A generation, but a joint.
If you have a few things you have to write out and you have to print, it takes ten times longer.
Right. Right.
So, yeah, I agree.
And also a signature.
It can keep flowing.
It's in this flow.
How do the ones that haven't been taught cursive learn how to do a signature, their signature?
Well, my son's kind of working.
Okay, that's good.
Somehow, someway.
He just does his thing, you know?
You know what?
He learned it so good.
God bless him.
But I think he might learn again.
You know, he might...
Like I said, they were just starting to teach him and he was just starting to learn.
And then they did away with it.
So it just went all the printing.
And it was a few years there.
And a lot of parents called it bullshit.
I did too.
I thought, why would you do away with it?
Because it's still useful.
That does away with that child's personality.
I agree.
Man, Rob, that's a good way of putting it.
Yeah.
Cursive is someone writing with personality.
You're right.
Yeah, that's how you could tell if it's that person or not.
Oh yeah, yeah.
And also, people writing cursive notes, I can tell you who wrote them, by the way, that they're done.
Someone printing, I not necessarily...
Right.
So yeah.
Right.
Okay.
All right.
Thank you, Rob.
Well, I've got a lot of stuff to write out for tomorrow's Sports Bastards.
A lot of stuff has happened.
So I probably better go ahead and call this a night.
And we're going to be out there at 9 a.m.
So I got to write some stuff down.
I got a lot of bullet points that came up over the last couple of days about stuff, you know,
related to the Chiefs and the Commanders and the Eagles and the Bills.
Right.
So and then some other things.
We've had a lot of hirings, too.
A lot of coaches hired.
So anyhow, I need to get into writing some of those out.
So we will have Sports Bastards for you all.
And Music Creeps, we'll figure it out when we get to it.
We always find something to talk about.
So it's not going to be an issue.
So all right, everybody...
We're working on it.
Yeah, working on it.
Thank you for listening, everybody.
Have a fantastic evening.
Good night, assholes.
Oh, no.
Looks like the show's over, kids.
Mark has explosive diarrhea and can't afford a wireless mic.
Fear not, assholes.
They'll be back invading your ear holes soon.