The music creeps.
The greatest podcast ever in the history of mankind.
Just kidding.
Here we go.
OK, all right.
We going?
All right.
Well, you got a beatbox in you?
I do.
I've been practicing.
Oh, good, good, good.
All right.
We are the music creeps.
Yes.
We are the music creeps.
I can't do it anymore.
That's just so awful.
You had it in the Waka Waka's, and I'm like, oh, fuck.
What do I do now?
I can't just keep saying music creeps.
He Waka Waka'd on me.
All right.
Hell of a beginning.
Thank you.
That was fun.
Yeah, it was.
All right.
Well, let's start things off like a hard rock song,
as in Led Zeppelin, even Black Sabbath, to Def Leppard,
to Dio, to all the hard rock stuff, even Pantera.
What would you consider that could possibly
be the best album ever made?
I'm talking everything, not just one hit,
but the whole complete album.
Wow.
Yeah, there have been a number of albums
where pretty much every song on it became a radio hit.
Yeah.
I mean, it could also be Pink Floyd, too,
if you consider them hard rock.
They did have some harder stuff.
Yeah.
Back in Black by ACDC jumps to mind quickly.
Yeah.
Physical Graffiti, Led Zeppelin.
Yes.
Yeah.
Boston's first album.
Boston's first album, yes.
Um, yeah.
Yeah, there's some of those.
It's just like the album's perfect from start to finish.
Yeah.
It's like you couldn't improve it.
Just a masterpiece.
Yeah.
I've even got a grunge one.
Yeah.
And that would be Soundgarden, Super Unknown.
Yeah, absolutely.
That whole album is just incredible music.
Yeah, yeah.
Their first one was Louder Than Love.
Oh, gosh.
It was one that had Rusty Cage and Outshine.
Oh, the first big hit.
Yeah, that was it.
The first album.
That was Bad Motorfinger.
Bad Motorfinger, that was it.
Yeah, they had Louder Than Love before that.
That was their first album.
But it wasn't like national by then.
Bad Motorfinger is where they became a prominence.
Yeah, but that had kind of pretty much the same sound
all the way through.
Yeah, it was really good.
Yeah.
But I think Super Unknown, they found their sound so well,
and they had such great songs on it.
To me, I would call that a masterpiece.
I'd call Physical Graffiti a masterpiece.
Yeah.
Let's see here.
A lot of people would go with Dio, Holy Diver.
Yeah.
There's not a bad song on that that people that I know
that like hard rock.
Yeah.
You could go Heaven and Hell by Black Sabbath with Dio again.
You could also, let's see, where else could you go?
Guns N' Roses, Appetite for Destruction.
That may be, to me, the top one.
And then Slash's favorite is Welcome to My Nightmare
by Alice Cooper.
Oh, that is, yeah, that's got to be in the top five.
Yeah.
I had an interview with Slash.
He was saying, you put that album on any time,
and there's not one single song on there
that you feel like skipping over.
Just every single song kicks ass and rocks out,
and the whole album's done.
You're like, yeah, I want to listen to that again.
Ozzy, Blizzard, Blizzard, and Diary.
Yeah.
Both of those two albums.
Yeah.
I would consider both of them masterpieces also,
and I would say that both of them are in the top 10.
And a lot of that, I mean, is the combination
of Bob Daisley's writing, the bassist,
and also Randy Rhoad's style of playing
that was actually coming from classical and not from blues,
like most rock.
I got some examples that aren't hard rock, but.
Oh, go ahead.
I think Elton John's Goodbye Yellow Brick Road.
Oh, that thing is, yeah, yeah.
Then they wrote it in like a week.
OK, in a rock.
It was insane.
In a rock, yes.
You could say the same thing about Captain Fantastic
by Elton John.
Yeah, also too.
Those two, yeah.
There's not a bad song on there.
And like you said, it's thrown together really quickly.
Yeah, yeah.
A lesser known band, Roxy Music, have an album called Avalon,
and it is really good songwriting.
It's not really rock and roll.
It's more artsy, kind of ethereal in a way.
But every song on there just fits and works so well
together.
The first single off it was called More Than This.
And there was a country singer who redid it a few years back
and did actually a pretty decent job.
I remember the band, but I'm not quite sure.
I'd have to listen.
Brian Ferry was the lead singer.
And you look at the guy, and he looks
like some rough ad executive who just
stepped off the set of Mad Men.
But he's got this high, pretty, wavery voice.
Not really like Roy Orbison, but in the same ballpark.
And you're like, how does that voice come out of that guy?
Yeah, that's true.
And they always had really great musicians.
But I would encourage people to give Roxy Music a try.
Yeah, me too.
But man, rock albums that.
Let's see, is there some other ones?
Maybe Foreigner might have a couple of albums like that.
I'm trying to think of an Aerosmith album that
would fit that.
Maybe Permanent Vacation.
Permanent Vacation would.
I mean, even their obscure stuff on the back was good,
like John B. Goode.
Oh, there's another one on there.
I can't think of it.
But yeah, Permanent Vacation was good.
I think Desmond Child had a lot to do that album,
which makes it good.
Def Leppard.
I think Pyromania.
Yeah, there's a lot of people think
Pyromania beats Hysteria as an album.
I like Hysteria pretty well.
I like them both, but as far as one of them goes,
I like Pyromania a little bit better.
It wasn't so produced.
Yeah, the drummer still had both of his arms on Pyromania.
And then on Hysteria, they recorded pretty much
the whole album.
And then Steve Clark died.
Yeah, and then they scrapped pretty much everything.
They went out and played part of it live to audition it.
And it's just like, oh man, this stinks.
So they pretty much scrapped everything
and started over and rewriting the whole album, Hysteria.
Oh, OK, so they like it.
I thought it's because of Steve Clark why they did that.
No, I think also that he did also die during that time.
And Phil Collin had to double head to do his parts
and tried to play him in Steve's slightly sloppy style.
Yeah, yeah, Steve Clark was sloppy,
but he knew how to arrange chords.
I mean, he was very good, very good.
Awesome rhythm guitar player.
Really good, one of the best.
Man, rhythm guitar players are pretty much unsung heroes,
aren't they?
They are.
Oh my gosh.
Yeah.
Malcolm Young, Brad Hamilton.
Yeah, imagine ACDC without Malcolm Young.
You would not have had most of those hits.
And the thing is, he was so simple, too.
I mean, he just played notes, minor chords.
Didn't matter.
Just had one pickup in his guitar.
Yeah, that's it, one pickup.
It's like Barney Fife only has one bullet for his pistol.
Yeah, yeah, he's got one pickup.
Malcolm Young was a no frills guy.
He knew what he wanted to hear.
He knew what sold, and he did it.
I remember somebody, some record critic,
saying that Malcolm Young would probably
be the lead lead guitarist of ACDC,
but practicing got in the way of his drinking time.
Yes.
Because that guy was, man, he destroyed himself.
Yeah, early dementia got him from that.
There were a lot of those ACDC concerts
where it was their other brother, Steve Young, who was playing.
But he looked so much like Malcolm, no one could tell.
Yeah, I was like, oh, there's the guy.
Oh, that's a different guy.
Yeah, they were about the same height,
had the same haircut, and kind of had the same face.
He played the exact same guitar, and he stood in the same spot.
And now the guy that they got sounds about the same, too.
He's like a cousin or something.
Yeah, and that makes sense, keeping the family.
Yeah, they have.
Yeah.
And then let's see, the older brother, Harry Young,
was a record producer.
He worked with George Vanda to produce some albums.
And then they put out a couple albums themselves
as Flash in the Pan.
They had a radio hit with Hey St. Peter.
Oh, wow.
So they put out two albums as Flash in the Pan.
But then ACDC's early years, it was Vanda and Young
who did all the production work until they got big
and was taken over by more famous producers.
OK.
It's been a family-run band for a long time.
Very cool.
How about Meatloaf?
Oh, yeah.
Bad Out of Hell?
Bad Out of Hell, monster, monster album.
Some would say Bad Out of Hell, too, but it was good.
But I do not put it up there with Bad Out of Hell.
Yeah, I was going to mention that.
Bad Out of Hell, too, I think outsold Bad Out of Hell.
But I don't think it was as good an album.
No, Jim Steinman had so much to do with those albums, too.
Yeah, I would say Bad Out of Hell would be in there,
definitely.
Yeah.
Bruce Springsteen, Born to Run.
I'm not a Springsteen fan, so I'm not.
I'm not really either.
But that was pretty much a perfect album, especially
for the time.
OK.
It had the title track.
It had Jungle Land.
It had Thunder Road, a number of other ones.
But I remember my brother bought it, and he'd play it.
And side one's over, you flip the vinyl over and play side
two.
And even though I didn't like Bruce Springsteen,
it was like, I like all these songs.
These are just good, fun, well-written songs.
I was really impressed with that album.
Billy Squire, Don't Say No.
Yes, another really good one.
That was a fantastic album.
I guess you could throw in Peter Frampton Comes Alive.
Yeah, that's true.
That double live album.
Because a lot of songs that didn't even hit on the album
hit on that.
Yeah, yeah.
Basically, it was the greatest hits album for him,
but that was the first time I'd ever heard of him.
Me too.
I didn't even remember him from him.
Kind of like Kiss.
He was in Humble Pie before.
Yeah, in Humble Pie, yeah.
Yeah.
So I didn't know who Peter Frampton was.
I just saw this guy with curly hair and the guitars,
and all the girls in high school were losing their minds
over him.
He had a tiny penis, according to Connie or whatever.
Sweet Connie.
I think she said Huey Lewis was gigantic.
Yeah, yeah.
And Peter Frampton was micro.
Yeah.
What a thing to be known about, huh?
No kidding.
Peter Frampton, great guitarist.
Hey, did you know he had an extremely small penis?
No, I didn't know that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yes, Sweet Connie said, oh, shit, she had no dicks.
All right.
But then again, we're just taking her word for it.
Yeah, that's right.
He could have done something to piss her off.
And he's, I'll get him back.
Or maybe it's just a really cold day.
It could be.
It could be, yeah, yeah.
He was all coked out.
He just wouldn't act for him.
I'm trying to come up with an album from earlier
in the rock and roll era, see if there's a really good one
from back there.
How about a Bad Company album?
Yeah, their first album was really good.
I can say Bad Company, Bad Company would probably be.
I think that'd be the one.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
It's interesting.
They have a version of that album
where they have demo tracks and outtakes and things.
And it's interesting, some of the songs on the demo versions,
they do them slightly differently.
And the song is just boring.
It's just like a dud.
And then you compare it to the way they actually
did it in the studio with just some little difference
on the vocals, little difference on the drums.
Like, wow, it's a whole new track now.
Yeah.
Kiss Destroyer.
Yeah, yeah, that would be up there.
Yeah, Detroit Rock City.
All that.
Lovegum was really good, too.
I mean, that's when they were really
putting out quality music.
And I'd say that even over Kiss Alive, which we're learning
probably wasn't a live album after all.
No, it wasn't.
No, no, no.
But you know, it's not illegal to put out a studio album
and claim it was live.
No, no, not at all.
There's nothing illegal or prosecutable about that.
And evidently, they've done that.
Yeah.
Gene Simmons had the best quote.
He said, look on the cover of Kiss Alive.
And Ace has his guitar flipped over,
and he's playing the back of it.
That should tell you something.
That was his quote.
That's funny.
Because that was Ace Frehley's little secret message is that,
yeah, this is being faked.
Yeah.
We ain't playing live.
In fact, the picture on the cover was they rented a club
and set their stuff up, did their makeup,
and then put the smoke up.
And they took those pictures with nobody else in there.
See, I thought that was a painting.
But I guess not.
No, it was a staged.
Fake concert.
Supposedly live in concert photograph, but it was faked.
And they're very upfront about this.
Oh, yeah, we just let them learn stage day.
Yeah, they never did lie about it,
I can give them that, when they were questioned.
And what one of the people involved in the album said
is, we had all these hits and all these songs,
but if we actually went out and recorded a live album,
it would be small crowds.
And you could tell they would be small crowds.
That's true.
So the way to make Kiss a giant act
is to pretend they were already.
And it worked.
Yeah, yeah.
Because you listen to the albums like, wow,
listen to those tens and tens of thousands of people screaming
in the love of this music.
There must be something to it.
But most people didn't know Kiss, number one,
the first album, we had Deuce and Strutter.
Number two, Hotter Than Hell.
And oh, I forgot it.
There are a couple of ballad-ish songs
that Paul wrote on there.
And nobody knew about Dressed to Kill.
And then when they put them all together on a live album,
everybody learned them.
It was all the best songs from all those,
all the ones that sounded best in a quote unquote live
situation.
One of their biggest hits, Rock and Roll All Night,
wasn't a hit until Kiss Alive.
Nobody knew about it until Kiss Alive.
Yeah, the Aerosmiths hit Dream On was on their first album,
but it didn't become a hit until their second or third album.
And somebody went back and said, oh, let's
see what else these guys have.
And dug up Dream On, and then that became huge.
Yeah.
Same thing happened with Duran Duran.
Their second album was the one that
got them a bunch of airplay.
And then the DJ started going back and playing stuff
off their first album.
And everyone discovered that that was way better,
that they'd actually be getting worse.
Yeah, yeah.
It was kind of an oops moment.
It was just like grunge.
Grunge got no traction until, what was the name of the band?
Where it had Chris Cornell and-
Soundgarden?
Oh, no, Temple of the Dog.
Temple of the Dog, and Eddie Vedder, and Stone Gossard.
OK, basically, most of both bands joined together
as a tribute to-
Andy Wood.
Andy Wood, who died of a drug overdose,
but they're all really good friends.
And as a tribute to him was Say Hello to Heaven and Hunger
Strike.
Those two songs hit big.
And then DJ, I believe in Detroit, started going,
you know what?
These bands have some really good songs on them,
just nobody knew about them.
He started playing a lot of their stuff.
And then all of a sudden, people were like,
what's this grunge stuff?
Yeah.
And actually, from what I remember,
that album had been out two years.
Temple of the Dog had been out for two years.
And somebody found it and started playing it,
going, this is not half bad.
Yeah, that album was released before anyone knew
who Soundgarden and Pearl Jam were.
Unless you're in Seattle, you didn't know who they were.
Yeah, and the musicians released it because they
wanted to as a tribute.
It's not like, oh, this is going to put us over the top.
It's just a personal project of theirs,
but they wanted to do it well.
And then when the bands got big, they went back and said,
oh, look at this.
And then they had to go film a video for it
because back then, they were actually
seeing music videos on TV.
Yeah, they're actually on MTV, too.
Bad Motor Finger was re-released because of that
because when it came out, nobody knew about it, really.
They're watching Trickster and Firehouse.
They were watching it.
I remember Firehouse.
Oh my god.
Don't Treat Me Bad.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Gosh.
You know what?
That guy, they just need to grab him, the singer,
and bare bottom spank him for five hours.
Yeah, and the loser has to spank him.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, he draws straws.
Yeah.
You've got to spank him bare handed
so he gets a lower you.
Yes, yeah.
Wasn't there a band back then called Kicks, K-I-X?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I actually liked a lot of their music,
but they never hit big because they weren't pretty.
I can't remember any of their songs,
but I remember liking them.
Cold.
We'll have to look them up.
Don't Close Your Eyes was a huge ballad.
Oh, yeah.
I remember Don't Close Your Eyes.
Yeah.
Is it Cold Blood or Cold Something is All You Need?
Ah, shit.
Yeah, they had a few hits.
Let's see.
Ba-bum.
Glam, Middle, and Hard Rock formed in 76.
Didn't get popular until the 80s.
Yeah, I knew they were around a long time.
Let's see.
Ba-dum-dum-dum.
I think the late 80s is when they really hit.
Heartache, The Itch, Atomic Bombs, Body Talk, Loco,
Emotion, Cool Kids, Midnight Dyn-
these are all their singles.
Midnight Dynamite.
Midnight Dynamite, Cold Shower, Scarlet Fever, Cold Blood.
Cold Blood.
Blow My Fuse.
Blow My Fuse, that's it.
Yeah.
That was the album that I really liked.
That was the album.
That was the album and the single.
And the single, yeah.
Don't Close Your Eyes, that was in 89.
That was a huge hit.
Get It While It's Hot, Girl Money, Hotwire, Same Jane.
Oh, Girl Money was hot, yeah.
911.
Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is.
And then Jump Ahead to 2014, Love Me With Your Top Down,
and Wheels in Motion from Rock Your Face Off.
I have no idea about those.
Yeah, who knows who he was even left in the band
at that point.
Yeah.
I know one of them was like painting signs,
billboard signs.
Yeah.
Or was he putting them up?
I think he was painting billboard signs.
Yeah, yeah.
Anyhow, I think it's the guitarist.
Sometimes you get one brief moment of fame and fortune,
and then you've got to go get a real job again.
Yeah, and that's what happened to them.
The problem with them is they never hit it huge.
They were more of an opening act or a big club act.
And they could have had an extended career just being
kind of that nostalgic opening act kind of,
but I guess that's not what they wanted.
No, no, they're, yeah.
They went with what they did, and that's it.
So I mean, I could see them being part of festivals.
Like some go, oh, Kix, yeah, I remember them.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind going and seeing them.
Yeah, they'd be the band you wouldn't try to avoid.
Some bands, it's like, oh, when they come on,
let's go find the bathrooms, go get something to eat,
take a nap, whatever.
Kix would be one you'd want to listen to.
You'd be one to go, yeah, I'm interested in listening to them,
see who's there, who's not.
Yeah.
Some bands can make a real living off of being the band,
the songs you heard when you were having
the best time of your life.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
You'll always go see those bands.
Yeah, except Motley Crue.
Oh, yeah, sometimes they just ruin it, don't they?
Yeah, yep.
Yeah, Nikki Sixx, everybody I know
views him as a complete hypocrite now.
Nikki the Prick.
Yeah, nobody likes him anymore.
He destroyed his image completely.
I think he's been this guy for a while.
It's just he burned through all the good PR
they could create around the band and around him.
And enough people have been exposed to his dickness
that it's like, you know what?
We're tired of pretending this guy isn't a jerk.
We're just going to call him a jerk.
Yeah, yep.
And now he doesn't have the influence he used to,
so no one has to kiss his ass.
People are just like, oh, he's a dick.
Yeah, yeah, I guess to the point where
the money you can make for people, while substantial,
isn't as much as they can make with someone else.
So it seems weird that if I can make $10 million
with this guy, why wouldn't I?
Well, the fact is, if I could go make $20 million
with that guy, I don't give a shit about this guy
and his $10 million.
Exactly.
You're turning your back on an easy $10 million,
but you're going to get an easy $20 over there.
He had two songs written about him, too, by other bands.
Ah.
Godsmack, they were touring with him,
and they hated him so bad.
They come up with a song, You're Crying Like a Bitch.
And that was about Nicky Sixx.
I love it.
And Tattooed Millionaire was about Nicky Sixx,
Bruce Dickinson.
That's awesome.
I guess Nicky banged his wife.
But Nicky claims he didn't know that that was his wife.
And anyhow, Nicky had no idea Tattooed Millionaire was
about him until he heard an interview.
And he's like, oh, yeah, it's about Nicky Sixx.
He's like, huh?
Supposedly.
Well, you know, I would think in Bruce Dickinson's place,
you don't get mad at Nicky Sixx.
You get mad at your wife.
Because Nicky wasn't married.
No, I know.
Your wife was the one who was married.
Yeah.
Nope, I agree.
Isn't that just like always the way it is on television?
Especially if it's a man cheating on his wife,
the wife will go attack the other woman.
Yeah.
Why?
It's like, no.
No, no, no, no.
That's a TV thing, I guess.
Get the one that you're closest to.
Yeah.
The one that you trusted, not the other person.
Yeah.
So anyhow.
Well, hey, you know what?
We came up with a neat little segment earlier.
Yeah.
And these are like, OK, you're out in traffic, right?
OK, and some guy cuts you off, right?
And you just kind of like do the, maybe not even middle finger,
but your hands in there like what the fuck.
And he responds with a flip off.
And you're like, hey, you almost killed me.
And you flipped me off.
So you flip him off back, OK?
Yeah.
The guy jumps out of his car at a stoplight
and challenges you to a fist fight.
So you're like, all right, bitch, so you jump up.
What song do you want to hear in your head
when you're entering this fist fight?
Yeah.
Go ahead.
First one on my list is Stroblite Beatdown
by Monster Magnet.
And I could see a fist fight happening.
I could, too.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, yeah, I think you'd win.
Yeah.
Anyway, since we're playing clips of it with poor quality,
there's no copyright issues.
OK, good.
Good, good, good.
I had also picked When the Planes Fall
from the Sky and Radiation Day by the same band.
But I think Stroblite Beatdown really.
I tried not to get more than one by a band.
Yeah.
OK, that's good.
Yeah.
So you want to go back and forth?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
My first one would be Pantera Walk.
Oh, perfect.
Yeah.
This song can make you beat the shit out of anybody.
I mean, yeah.
Even if they weren't a part of it,
you go and kick their ass, too.
Yeah.
Yeah, they could be just sitting there watching.
You know what?
This song makes me so fucking tough and angry,
I'm going to beat your ass, too.
And anyhow, yeah, Pantera Walk.
Let's see.
My next one was Mean Streets by Van Halen.
And I don't have an audio clip of that.
But during the driving part of the song,
I think that would be a really good.
I would agree with that, yeah.
Plus, the title Mean Streets, that's going to mean something.
Uh-huh.
So what's that?
What's next?
OK, next I'm going to go with DOA Van Halen.
Yeah.
That one's a good one.
Dead or Alive.
I remember that.
That was David Lee Roth's song.
Yeah, that guitar riff on it is just mean.
Yeah, that is.
Yeah, you want something mean, but with a good tempo.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I could see kicking the shit out of somebody with that one.
Mm.
I came up with Hell Yeah by Bullet Boys.
Oh, that's a good one.
There we go.
Oh, that's a good one.
See this chord in there?
Let's wait until the rope will start.
OK.
3, 2, 1 now.
Hit me just like 1800 dollars.
I knew I was in a state of pace before.
Yeah, I can see that.
Yeah.
That one kind of sounds like it would work, wouldn't it?
Yeah, it would.
You might play this just so people get the just of it.
I went with Iron Maiden, Two Minutes to Midnight.
And it's because of the riff.
And really nothing else, just the riff.
Let me pull that one up too.
I've got Two Minutes to Midnight, Iron Maiden.
There we go.
Yeah.
That would definitely work.
That would definitely do it.
Yeah, yep.
That kicks in.
Yeah.
That's when you got them on the ground.
That definitely works, yes.
All right, my next one I have is Put You Down
by Allison Chains.
Yeah.
That's got a mean swagger to it.
It does.
Plus the title, Put You Down.
Yeah.
Oh, I get one a lot.
This next one you might want to play too.
I've got Soundgarden, The Mailman.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, this song is just oh.
Oh, stop that.
Oh, yeah, I don't know what that was.
That song would make you fight somebody too.
Yeah.
Let me get rid of that.
All right, yeah, definitely.
Yeah, that was the song I was getting ready.
I'm going to have to just say that one.
Oh, OK.
What the heck is that doing?
I don't know.
All right, let's try this over.
All right, let's see.
Is that the Bluetooth maybe freaking out?
That is the Bluetooth doing it.
Ouch.
All right.
OK, let's see, The Mailman.
Mailman.
I wish it would stop that.
I wish it would too.
I can see that going.
I don't know what that little clicky sound is.
Yeah, it might be in the actual recording maybe, you think?
No, it's just doing it all the time.
OK.
All right.
Always the best technology we have available.
Yes, yes, yeah.
They only get the best with the music creeps.
Wow.
OK.
All right, here's my next one.
It's a Shogun named Marcus by Clutch.
Oh, Clutch, yeah.
Yeah.
I remember this.
Yep.
That's kind of the whole drum beat of the song.
It kind of does this over and over.
That's a good one.
That's a real good one.
Yep.
Anyway, that's a whole lot of fun.
OK.
Excuse me.
My next one, I have Rock and Roll Rebel by Ozzy Osbourne.
A great Jakey Lee riff on that.
I mean, it is just insane.
It's so good.
Let me see if I can get that one up.
Rock and Roll Rebel Ozzy Osbourne.
Oh, look, it's an ad for T-Mobile.
Oh, yay.
This just makes me hate T-Mobile even more than I already do.
Yep.
All right, so anyhow, there you go.
Yeah, T-Mobile.
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Let's look up their commercial.
Yeah, let's just talk over them.
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Yep.
I can see definitely fucking smacking someone
to the ground on this.
Yeah.
And then here, you start curb stomping them right here.
Here.
That's when you pick their head up
and you make them look at you before you curb stomp them.
Yeah.
They go, hey, hey, hey, you know why this is happening,
don't you?
Yeah.
There's just all sorts of technical malfunctions.
Oh, yeah.
It's just it's.
You know what?
It's free.
They're getting their money's worth.
OK, here's one of my weird ones.
OK.
David Bowie, Suffragette City.
I got to hear this.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I never knew it was Suffragette City.
I was doing this.
Hey, man.
Yeah.
Hey, man.
I can see this.
This is if you're on mushrooms fighting somebody.
Oh, that's a good one.
Yeah, definitely.
Oh, yeah.
When you're getting hit, you're just laughing.
Oh, that's great.
That's great.
Now watch this.
Oh, yeah.
Next day, you're black and blue.
You're like, jeez, that was fun last night.
I don't know about today.
So I have The Rooster by Alice in Chains.
Yeah, yeah, that song is just that song
is like an ass beat in a can.
It's like, hey, what is this?
I don't know.
Open up.
Oh, fuck.
Starts off slow.
Yeah.
Oh, no, shit.
I said the wrong one.
Rooster?
Angry Chair.
Oh, yeah.
That's even better.
Sorry.
Yeah, Angry Chair is the one that I think is not this thing.
OK.
Starting with a drum beat.
You're getting out of your car.
Oh, there we go.
Oh, yeah.
Tough guy approaches you.
Yeah.
Oh, there it is right there.
This is so dark.
It's beyond dark.
I like that.
Yeah.
This is when they were balling.
Fucking Jury Cat Trail.
Sitting on an angry chair.
Lane Staley fucking nails it.
Those harmonies are just amazing.
Yeah.
You can hear those harmonies on Lawrence Welk,
and you know it's them.
It's like, hey, that's Alice in Chains.
What are they doing here?
Let's see.
Let me go to my next one.
This one is going to be fun.
Remember the Dead Kennedys?
Yes.
Too drunk to fuck.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
This is a wiry guy fighting somebody.
Yeah.
Throwing fists everywhere and fucking knees and.
I'd have to lie.
He's got the right tempo for a fist fight.
But I'm turning.
You're out of luck.
Here we go.
I'm rolling down the stairs.
Too drunk to fuck.
Yeah, there we go.
Too drunk to fuck.
I love that chorus.
Too drunk to fuck.
Yep.
Too drunk.
Too fucked.
That's all I need right now.
Too drunk to fuck.
I used to have those as my ringtone.
Awesome.
Still the best band name ever.
Yes, the Dead Kennedys.
Because there were a bunch of them, weren't there?
Oh, yeah, there was.
Shit.
Damn, I forgot what my next one was going to be.
Mob Rules.
Oh, that's a good one.
Yeah, this one is just flat heavy, heavy, heavy.
Starts out heavy and ends heavy.
Oh, I remember what I was going to tell you.
OK.
Speaking of the Dead Kennedys.
We're having bad product ideas tonight on Two Douchebags
and a Microphone.
It's the Johnny Rotten Sing-A-Long from ages four
to seven.
That's awesome.
Did not work.
Believe it or not, did not work.
Sorry I gave it up.
Well, you probably won't even hear this first.
I don't know.
We'll see.
Whoever I get to first is what I'll do.
But anyhow.
Here's another weird one.
OK.
Satisfaction, but not by the Stones, by Devo.
OK.
OK, this is when you're at a card table.
Yeah.
And the guy's cheating.
Yeah.
And you realize it.
You jump up.
Here's where you jump over the table to hit him in the face.
Probably looks like that guy.
Oh my god.
Yeah, yeah, he does.
That's when you take his hand and you're getting ready to slam
it on the table.
You're cramming a whole bunch of poker chips in his mouth.
Yeah, motherfucker.
I first heard this on Saturday Night Live.
And it just blew me away.
I remember this song, but I didn't know it was Devo.
That's my favorite version of Satisfaction now.
All right.
And then I would go Helter Skelter by the Beatles
and then Motley Crue, Close Second.
Oh yeah.
That makes me want to hit somebody.
Yeah, yeah.
This song was so ahead of its time.
Yeah.
Listen to that shit.
Punk, metal, psychedelic.
Yep.
And everything else.
Yeah.
How did they come up with this at the time?
This had to be John Lennon.
John Lennon and really good drugs.
Now you know how come Charlie Manson went around killing,
well, had people kill people.
Yeah.
But that line, you may be a lover, but you ain't no dancer,
that would kind of fit in with a fist fight, wouldn't it?
It would, wouldn't it?
Yeah.
This, oh, that was just good on all levels.
Yeah, yeah.
That's a good one.
Let me see if I get the next one I have.
Here we go.
You wouldn't think there'd be an Elton John song that would work?
But let's try this one.
Yeah.
The bitch is back.
Oh.
I was going to go with Saturday Nights,
All Right for Fighting, but that's too obvious.
Yeah.
But I like the bitch is back.
I like that.
That's good.
I was just a fight when I was five.
Raise a cane, I'll spit in your eye.
Time to change, and now the war gets fast.
But the beast is gonna catch you when the bitch gets fast.
This would be kind of a lead up to the fight.
You know, you're trash talking before the fight.
Before the fight, it's like, all right, man, get ready,
because the bitch is back.
I was kind of thinking Jimi Hendrix, Crosstown Traffic.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
That's a good one.
Let's see if I can find it.
Bitch is back would be an interesting one, because of?
Crosstown Traffic.
I think that's the name of it.
OK.
And the kazoo.
This is just fucked.
Yep.
And then it kicks in.
OK, here's where the actual fight begins.
Oh, that's actually perfect for a fist fight.
Yeah.
It is.
Speed I drive.
You tell me it's all right.
Yeah, I like that.
You say you just want me to take you for a drive.
Yeah, that would work.
That's awesome.
That's a good one.
That would definitely work.
All right, what have I got next?
Oh, here's one by Faith No More.
Oh, I wonder which one.
There's a lot of them that would work.
This is called Surprise.
You're Dead.
Yeah, OK.
Yep.
There's the bell to start the fight.
Yeah, definitely.
Yeah, it would work.
What album is this off of?
I remember.
The Real Thing.
The Real Thing, OK.
Surprise.
You're Dead.
Very cool.
That's pretty heavy.
That's when they're kind of doing that kind of thing.
That's pretty heavy.
They were just so versatile.
Yeah.
Let's see, who's I got next?
Oh, this one I got to get off YouTube.
Some of them I got on my phone.
Some I have to go to YouTube Music and get.
OK.
Oh, All My Life, Foo Fighters.
Oh, yeah.
It kind of gives it away.
Except we have a commercial for Jardians.
Ah, OK.
Fuck Jardians.
Yep.
Which, this will lead me to my next song.
Yes, very much so.
They're circling each other, eyeing each other, getting ready.
Yep.
Now they're getting closer.
Yep.
Sizing each other up.
Now they decide.
They'll be the sweat dripping down.
Guy shaking with his fist.
Oh, there we go.
Now we're in it now.
Now, now the cops are called.
Oh, yeah.
That's a great one.
Great song, too.
Yeah.
Yeah, Taylor Hawkins was definitely on his game.
Oh, God, yeah.
Speaking of that, I've got one.
This is a very unknown one.
And you might know it because you've seen it.
Anyhow, Tony Iommi released a solo album, a true solo album, back in the, I think, late
90s.
He did a song with Dave Grohl called Goodbye Lament.
I think I've heard of that, but I don't think I've heard it.
OK, OK.
I think that would be a good fight song if I remember it correctly.
Because you just did Dave Grohl, I remember that song specifically.
Yeah, it's called Goodbye Lament.
Yeah, I believe that's the name of it.
It was off of his self-titled Iommi album.
Yep, Tony Iommi and Dave Grohl.
OK.
Is it Goodbye Lament?
OK.
Yeah.
Let's see if I remember it correctly.
I hope so.
Yeah, I believe it has a slow build, but it's really strong.
And I love Dave Grohl singing in this, too.
I remember a little bit more about it.
Brian May's in it, too.
Yeah, Brian May.
Yeah, yep, yep.
And I think Taylor Hawkins did the drumming, didn't he?
I haven't seen him yet, but.
I think he did.
I don't know.
This is a good song.
It's creepy as hell.
Yeah.
And the song is called Goodbye Lament, so you're going to have something like it.
Listen to this.
You got the slow build.
Yeah.
So the guy's eyeing the other guy, and they're kind of like fucking, you know, chirping.
Yeah, fucking.
Taking their shirts off, flexing their muscles, cracking their knuckles.
Yeah.
You better say your prayer, son, and get ready to meet your maker.
Yeah, here we go.
They're in it now.
Then the guy pulls out of Billy Club.
And the girlfriend's on the sideline yelling, Johnny, no, look out, you're going to kill him.
Yeah, I like that one.
That should have been a hit.
Listen to that whole song where you get a chance.
It's kind of got a nine inch nails feel, too.
It does.
It does, yeah.
But Tony Iommi, that whole album is just called Iommi.
I encourage anyone to listen to it.
That thing is as good as albums get.
He had an all-star cast.
He had all different types of guest singers on it.
He even has a song with Ozzy on it.
Wow.
Yeah.
And I think he even has a song with Ian Gillan again, too.
Cool.
Yeah.
So anyhow, yeah, it's good stuff.
And then Brian May did a couple other songs with him, too.
Guest guitaring, maybe doing a couple of riffs.
I'm not for sure.
Maybe some of the solo.
Yeah.
But he was on three or four songs on that album, too, because Tony Iommi and Brian May are best friends.
I didn't know that.
And did you know that I think it's still coming out, but they're in no hurry because they said this.
They said we're in no hurry.
It'll be out sometime.
It's a book.
It's a record or a recording of riffs.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, I think I heard of that.
Just, yeah, just awesome riffs.
Those two are some of the I mean them and Blackmore are probably the best rip masters ever.
Yeah.
And it's just nothing but guitar riffs.
And I think accompanying with it is the music, the sheet music on how to play it or at least the tabs or the tabs.
It could be the tabs.
It's something like that.
Yeah.
The tabs would probably make it more accessible because sheet music you have to learn every year.
Yeah.
The tabs you can pick up a little easier.
Yeah.
Wow, that's cool.
And I don't know.
At this point, it might be interactive too.
They might give you a disc that they go, all right, and there's English accent.
And now here's how we learned to do this.
I was over there goofing around with the chums.
Me and the chaps were just hanging out having some tea.
And I hit this particular note and everyone went crazy.
Sometimes it's the guitar sound itself.
You like tune your, change your amp settings to a sound that you're not accustomed to and see what it inspires.
Is Iommi not the king of that?
I know.
I mean, he claims him and Marshall, that's it.
Maybe it is.
Well, it's a modified Marshall.
It's a modified Marshall, yeah.
But yeah, I don't hear a lot of pedals in between.
No, you don't.
But if you had someone else use that amp and play his SG, I believe, it would not sound the same.
No.
Yeah, it's just Jeff Beck said it the best.
Use your poor man's tremolo.
Yeah.
That's your hands.
Yeah.
It never breaks.
Never breaks.
Well, it can.
I mean, yeah.
Carpal tunnel and stuff.
Well, here's my next offering.
It's from Foreigner and it's called Dirty White Boy.
Oh, yes.
Don't need no movie star.
Ain't no Hollywood rock star or something like that.
This back one is cool to be a dirty white boy.
Yep.
Oh my God, is that Lou Graham?
That's Lou Graham.
Oh my God.
That's a long time ago.
The title, I always thought Dirty White Boy meant he was kind of rough around the edges
or played dirty or fought dirty or something like that.
And I was at work.
I was working at the media center at Penn Valley Community College at the time.
And one of the other employees there heard the song and she said,
how can they get away with saying that on the radio?
And I just gave her a flip answer, it's like, oh, well, the band members are white,
so they can say white boy.
And she said, no, dirty white boy.
That was the slang term for someone who looks white but has a black ancestor.
Oh, and now they call that something different that I'm not going to say.
Yes.
But for a while, I never heard that before.
But if you call someone a dirty white boy, that means they pass as white,
but they have people of color in the background.
So when she told me, I was like, oh my God, how do they say that on the radio?
I had no idea that's what it meant.
I thought it was like a guy that drank Jack Daniels and went streaking or something.
I didn't think anything like that.
Especially since some of the members of the band were British, they had no idea.
Yeah, they did that song on purpose and probably knowing that most people over here would have no idea.
Yeah.
So, okay.
Let's see here.
I know there's more.
Isn't there like a Jethro Tull song we could go to on there?
I was looking for a Jethro Tull song, but he starts and stops so often.
It's tough to get one that just kind of chugs along.
Yeah, that's true. And then he adds the fucking pan flute and then so on.
How about Arm Butterfly?
You think Indigana De Vito might?
It's a little slow, maybe.
It's a little slow, yeah.
But oddly enough, I came up with a different slow one that I think works really well.
Okay.
Oh, yeah.
When the Levee breaks.
Yeah.
Me no Levee, top me to weep and moan.
And the slightly lower sound quality really helps.
I love that.
This is like the mailman from Soundgarden.
Yeah.
It's a hard driving slower song.
It gets a point across.
This is like people looking at the Levee thinking it's going to break.
The rain keeps coming.
And he's got the blues.
Me no Levee, top me to weep and moan.
Beautiful song.
This is that thing.
Right here.
It's coming up right here.
I'm talking about the guitar.
The riff that is kind of a riff but kind of not.
It goes on and on, doesn't it?
It does.
It's a driving song like that.
And we're going around again.
Okay.
It comes up somewhere in here.
They're staying on that one chord forever.
Yeah, they are.
And then the harmonic is going nuts in the background.
That was John Paul Jones, wasn't it?
Nope, we're going around again.
I think it was, yeah.
Yeah.
And then Robert Plant played it live.
There we go.
Yeah, that right there.
Isn't that a brilliant?
Yeah.
It's lighter but it's darker.
This is back in Jimmy Page's Telecaster days.
Yes.
And you can tell by the sound.
Yeah.
It's funny.
Jimmy Page and his Telecaster sold a shit ton of Les Pauls.
Yes.
Because everyone thought he was playing a Les Paul on those albums.
That's hilarious.
That is such a good song.
So let's find Mailman Soundgarden.
I know I've got that on my phone.
There are so many little subtle.
Yeah.
They describe themselves as Black Sabbath meets The Beatles.
I can see that.
I could too.
But this song has just got so many underlying things in it.
There's a line in it where he says, I know I'm heading for the bottom, but I'm riding you all the way.
Yes.
That was so good.
But listen to Chris Cornell's voice.
Tortured but upbeat but not.
He has a gentle voice.
It's a gentle voice.
Yes.
As you can see on his solo albums, he had a great voice outside of this.
Yeah.
That's where a lot of these heavy metal bands kind of miss the boat is a beautiful, soft, gentle vocal like this can sometimes be really effective.
This is so effective on this song.
And I think there's something subtle in there where he goes, you take my spit and he like goes poof.
Oh, yeah.
And it's like real subtle in there.
Yeah.
Every kiss turns to spit on my face.
Yeah.
And then a little bit later, he does something like he goes poof or something.
Yeah.
That's awesome.
Yeah.
I mean, you know, and people wonder why he killed himself.
I mean, the day I tried to live.
Yeah.
Have you not read the lyrics on that or saw the video?
The video, he keeps trying to hang himself because he's upside down and he doesn't do it.
Whoops.
This one started early.
And how did he die?
He hung himself.
Only many years later, which doesn't make sense.
Yeah.
Anyhow.
Who knows?
It was weird when Chris Cornell was a kid, like 12, 13 years old, a friend brought over
a bunch of weed and he smoked way too much and just really flipped out on it.
And he said it was just one of the most horrible experiences of his life.
So from that point on, the only drugs he wanted to do were pills.
He's like, I'm not smoking anything else, man.
Just give me pills.
I got a question for you.
A little bit different, but same thing.
OK.
Did Vicki Cornell ever win the lawsuit against Atoband?
I don't think so.
I don't think she did either.
You're talking about a huge pharmacy company.
Plus, I think it's on the literature, so it may cause suicidal thoughts and ideations.
All of it is on there, yeah.
And they can't prove that that's what caused it because the guy had a history of depression.
Yeah.
Guitarist Bob Welch was the same way.
Yeah.
He was taking...
You're talking about X Fleetwood Mac solo guy, right?
Yeah.
He had a back surgery that was supposed to fix his chronic pain in his back and it didn't
really work.
So he was going to have to spend the rest of his life on painkillers.
I can't remember the name of that one.
It just ends in an M, I think.
Elysium or Nexium or whatever the hell it is.
Anyway, it was one that was really bad for him.
Yeah, I know what you're saying.
Yeah.
And his wife is convinced that he would not have killed himself if he hadn't been on it.
There's a lot of examples like that.
And also, there's the theory on Chris Cornell that he was coming out with something against
this big pedophile ring.
Oh, that could be too.
I don't know if that's true or not.
That's kind of like a conspiracy thing.
But if you read it, it does make some sense.
And then the black necktie that people hang themselves with is significant to something.
It means something.
The reason it's a black belt is like a black necktie, which means something.
Now, I know this because I'm of Mediterranean descent.
Whenever somebody dies, the way they honor them in the Mediterranean is a black band
around their left bicep.
Yeah.
Okay?
There's significance in all of this.
The black band means something.
Yeah.
And I can't remember exactly.
You're going to have to do a lot of research on it and go through pages, but it makes a
lot of sense when you're done with it.
It kind of sounds like using a black necktie or belt is a way of... like you're killing
yourself in protest.
Yes.
To protest something and call attention to something.
To protest something, yeah.
Yeah.
You're martyring yourself.
Yeah.
So a black band is traditional in a lot of different things.
And they say that that's why people hang themselves with a black belt or a black band.
And if you look at a lot of these famous hanging suicides, supposedly, they're done with a black
band or a black belt.
Yeah.
So anyhow, look it up.
Information's all out there.
And think back to when Bob Saget died.
Yeah.
And they completely covered up and lied about the way he died.
Yes.
They said he fell and hit his head, was it?
Yeah.
But the coroner publicly said after the investigation into the autopsy, he said the way his skull
was fractured, you can only get that by swinging a baseball bat as hard as you can.
Yeah.
Somebody killed him.
There's no way that falling down will make that kind of damage unless you fell off a
multi-story building.
And supposedly he just fell backwards on his bed and hit the headboard.
When I heard that, I thought, bullshit.
Yeah.
Total.
So something happened there and the first people on the scene sanitized the crime scene.
Isn't that weird how that always happens?
Always happens.
So that tells me he crossed somebody really big somewhere in that and had it done.
You can take your pick.
Politician, I don't know, rich asshole, whatever.
Probably somebody we never heard of.
Yeah, probably.
Like who?
Bob Crane probably did the same thing.
Bob Crane.
No, Bob Crane was killed by one of his best friends because he was nailing every girl
around including that guy's wife.
And filming it all at cheap hotels.
Because he was beat to death with his camera.
Symbolic.
The way people die matters sometimes.
And you know what?
Nothing was ever done because I guarantee you the prosecution said this guy's a piece
of shit.
Who cares?
No one's ever going to convict that guy.
Yeah.
Nope, nope.
They know he did it.
He's got protocols and a lot of evidence.
And they're like, fuck him.
Bob Crane was a piece of shit.
Oh.
Here's my next one.
Okay.
Marilyn Manson, cake and sodomy.
I remember, this is off American Dream, isn't it?
This is a portrait of American family.
Portrait of American family.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure cake and sodomy is him making fun of the Catholic church and their
sex scandal.
I'm pretty sure it is too.
Yeah.
White trash, get down on your knees.
Time for cake and sodomy.
Yeah.
Anyway, that'd be good for a fist fight.
Yeah, that would be.
Especially if you've been molested by a priest.
I am the god of fuck.
Only Marilyn Manson would say that.
And look, when that guy was on it, when Marilyn Manson was on it, there was nobody better
at what he did.
Yeah.
I mean, he took the best of all these different, like Alice Cooper and other stuff, even Blackie
Lawless.
A little bit of Nine Inch Nails.
He played guitar on some of Nine Inch Nails tracks.
Marilyn Manson?
Marilyn Manson did, yeah.
Brian Warner?
Yeah.
I didn't know he played guitar.
He's listed as Marilyn Manson, I think.
Oh, he was, okay.
I remember seeing a video of Trent Reznor recording one of the songs off of, I think,
The Downward Spiral or maybe the one before it.
I think it was the one before it.
Let's see, they're a pretty hate machine.
And then Broken.
Broken and then The Downward Spiral.
I think it was on Broken.
Broken, yeah.
And then we showed them in the studio recording and there was Marilyn Manson without makeup.
You know, the long hair but no makeup on, just playing guitar.
I had no idea he played.
Yeah, isn't that weird?
That is cool.
Yeah.
It would explain how come he was so good at his craft while he was on it.
Yeah, he learned a lot from Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails.
Oh, yeah.
And he went out on tour with them with Marilyn Manson's first album.
Okay.
That's where I saw him.
It was The Downward Spiral tour with Nine Inch Nails.
Oh, that was good.
I saw that, yeah.
Yeah.
Marilyn Manson opened and then before, I think, In Between was like the Jim Rose sideshow
circus.
Yes, yeah.
It was a geek show.
Yeah, they also played with Jane's Addiction too.
Yeah.
The best, I still say the best stage name for any type of a hard rock, heavy metal,
alternative band ever, Madonna Wayne Gacy and Twiggy Ramirez.
Yeah, those are so perfect.
You take a famous blonde bombshell and mix it with a serial killer and that's what you
get.
Madonna Wayne Gacy.
Too bad they never learned the name of the Zodiac Killer because that would have been
another one.
Yeah, that's right.
Arthur Lee Allen is who they were pretty sure is the guy who did it.
Yeah, let's see.
It could have been, who was Ellie May off?
Oh, Donna Douglas.
Okay, Donna.
Donna Lee Allen.
A lot of people would not get that.
No, probably not.
Yeah.
All right, here's another one for a fist fight.
Oh, Jane Lee Allen.
Jane Mansfield.
There we go.
Yeah, Jane Lee Allen.
All right.
I like it.
I do too.
All right.
That's a great ring to it, doesn't it?
All right, get ready to have another fist fight.
Okay.
All right, I'm geared up.
This is Megadeth, high speed.
Oh, shit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Was that Becker?
I don't know.
He's had some of that great band members on him.
His voice.
It's naughty.
Yeah.
I love it.
He is a huge Alice Cooper fan.
You know how he got his name, don't you?
Uh-uh.
He called into Rockline and asked Alice Cooper.
He asked Alice Cooper, what would be a great name for a band?
And Alice Cooper said, Megadeth.
He said, thank you, hung up, and that's why he called his band.
I remember him opening for Alice Cooper in a concert I saw.
Yeah, they were friends.
I forget which tour that was.
Alice Cooper was one of his idols.
Mm-hmm.
And it was on Rockline, and Alice Cooper was on there, and he called in.
He said, hey, what is a good name for a band?
And he goes, Megadeth.
Okay.
I remember at that concert, Megadeth was so incredibly loud.
I had to leave the floor and go walk around in the outside hallway around
the Kemper Arena because it was just so godly loud.
Oh, I've got a Megadeth story, too.
Megadeth, Judas Priest at Memorial Hall.
Oh, my God.
They had to lower the concert in the middle of the concert because it was interfering
with burglar alarms, car alarms for four miles.
Wow.
Yeah, they were completely like almost shut Kansas City, Kansas down.
They're like going, get in there and tell them to shut it down or we're shutting the
concert down.
And Judas Priest, I think Megadeth was opening, Judas Priest was arguing with them,
going, we can't do that.
You see all these people here?
You see these?
They're going to riot if we do this.
Yeah, pretty much.
So they had to let the concert go on.
And then after that, there wasn't a whole lot of concerts there anymore.
Yeah, I think they kind of learned.
It's like, well, we can't control the volume, then we're just not going to let you do it.
Yeah, now I don't think they do anything there, do they?
At the former Kemper?
No, Memorial Hall.
Memorial.
I can't remember the last thing that was ever there.
I think they still do some trade shows that don't go to Bartle.
Yeah, I think Memorial Hall kind of ran its course at that point.
I think they're kind of like, you know, we're going to have to have a lot of rules or this
isn't going to happen anymore.
Plus, Memorial Hall is made of thick, thick concrete.
It was one of Pennergast's jobs where it took about, you know, it took this amount of concrete,
tripled it and made them use it.
Yeah, like the runways at the old downtown airport.
Yeah, they're 18 feet thick.
18 feet thick, yeah.
But since Memorial Hall is made of concrete and such thick concrete everywhere, it's incredibly
expensive to heat.
Because that concrete just sucks up all the heat.
You've got to spend like a million dollars a day heating the place and as soon as you turn the
furnace off, it gets cold again.
So it's just not the right material for that.
But yeah, Boss Tom's handiwork.
And that's how come everything in Kansas City is concrete.
Yeah, everything.
It was because Tom Pennergast, a well-known mob leader, owned this town.
Ready to mix concrete.
Yeah, ready to mix concrete.
And everything better have been made of concrete, otherwise you might be buried in that foundation
of concrete.
That's true.
And that's the other rumor too, is a 15-foot concrete can hold a lot of bodies.
Yep, and no one's going to dig it up.
No, no, no, no.
All right, here's my next fist fight.
Oh, Brush Creek.
Brush Creek.
Brush Creek, yeah.
Who the hell paves the creek bed with concrete?
Yeah, with 10-foot deep concrete.
Listen, I mean, all of that old Kansas City stuff is fucking brilliant.
And that was about 100 years ago.
Yeah.
You think they've given up on scams?
No.
Fuck no.
They've just done better.
It was true though.
They said, the mafia used to say this.
They said, the reason the government doesn't like us is because we're their competition.
And they're right.
It's basically the same business structure.
It's the same business structure.
All the money gets kicked up and up and up and up to the big boss.
Yeah, the big boss gets most of it and everyone else trickles down.
It sounds like the way the government works here, doesn't it?
You heard the way Reagan came up with trickle down.
He probably got that from the mafia.
I imagine so.
Young guy pays for all the dinners.
Young guy fucking goes out and kills everybody and then you work your way up.
Boy, I imagine that's a shit job at first, isn't it?
I imagine.
I gotta go shake down that guy over there in the apple cart.
Yeah.
Could beat the fuck out of him and tell him that we could have it.
That guy right there, really?
Yeah, go do it.
That little old man.
Damn it.
I thought this was going to be more glamorous.
Yeah.
Anyhow.
Bounty hunter.
Molly Hatchet.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
I can also see flirting with a disaster also being a good one.
I tried that, but it's a little too happy and upbeat.
What about Thin Lizzy?
They gotta have one.
Oh, I miss Thin Lizzy.
I do too.
That's a good fistfight tempo.
Yeah, it is.
That's like some of this kind of acrobatic fighting.
Yeah.
They're like jumping around, fucking.
You come in, did a couple of jabs, come back.
Come on, come on, come on.
More kind of kickboxing.
Yeah, kind of kickboxing, yeah.
He did the Rocky where he holds his hands out and goes, come on, hit me.
Hit me again.
Fucking hit me again.
Muhammad Ali used to do that.
Oh, I know.
He's like, just go ahead and punch yourself out.
Get worn out hitting me because I can take it.
The rope-a-dope.
Yep.
He did do a lot of fighters and ruin them, but then again, look how he died.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
All right, I have Soundgarden.
Okay.
Let's see, here it is.
See if you know what it is.
Yeah.
Jesus Christ pose.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's off of Bad Motor Fingers, side two, first song.
That tempo.
Yeah.
Yep.
And how busy everything is.
That's like a rumble.
That's more than two people.
It is.
Yeah.
Yep.
That's like two games.
It is.
Yeah, that's good.
I'm getting a little weird there.
Oh, off the same album.
Room a Thousand Years Wide.
That's another good one.
That thing.
Yeah, man, that riff on that, man.
Kim Thal is just, ugh.
He fucking, Kim Thal was just crushing it.
He even got the screams.
Listen to that.
That's fucking beautiful.
And actually, that's Chris Cornell.
Now, Kim Thal comes in with all the weird high notes.
Oh, yeah.
That's a good song.
Yeah, this is like an underground garage and the floor is kind of wet.
Yeah.
Two guys are fighting and there's like 20 guys standing around watching.
Yeah, they're smoking cigars and blood's flying.
Yep.
And nobody was worried because the cops had been paid off.
Yeah, yeah, the cops are in there watching too.
Oh, hey, hey, hey, Officer Lewis, come on down.
Here are his riffs.
Kim Thal, just that one note, describes the whole song.
He doesn't do anything fancy.
He just does what the song needs.
Yeah, that's a talented musician.
And then he goes on and he does another riff after that, but it's not a riff.
It's just a sound that he does with his guitar all the way through the second, the second
segment, if you will.
Oh, shit.
Crawl away by tool.
Yeah.
I can also see, I could also see, I know the pieces fit.
Oh, what is that?
Is that schism?
Schism, yeah.
That'd be a good one.
Yeah.
Just the bass line kind of suggests it.
Yeah.
And the chorus, he says, I can see your back is turning.
If I could, I'd stick a knife in.
Yep.
So I thought that was pretty good.
And then there's another one off to get off YouTube.
I don't know what album this is on.
This is a great segment.
Who knows it would have taken so much life?
Yeah.
Here's ZZ Top, She's Just Killing Me.
Oh, wow.
Billy Gibbons.
We get the wolf howl.
There we go.
This is a really good song.
I love the blues heavy.
Yeah.
And it almost sounds like they have a real drummer.
Yeah.
They usually use drum machines.
Yeah, on the albums.
Mm-hmm.
She's just killing me.
This was on the soundtrack to From Dusk Till Dawn.
Yeah.
The Quentin Tarantino movie.
Yeah, I love that movie.
Yeah.
So, and I have one last one that this is a little weird.
Have you ever seen the movie Blue Velvet?
Probably a long time ago.
I remember it was about a horse.
No, that's National Velvet.
Oh, okay.
No, I don't think so.
Since David Lynch died recently, I've been thinking about him in his movies.
Oh, okay.
And he had one movie called Blue Velvet.
Okay.
And it was basically the story is a young man comes home to his back to his hometown
from college because his dad is sick and he stumbles into a criminal situation
that's going on and then he's curious and he gets in deeper and deeper and he gets
in way over his head real fast.
The main bad guy is played by Dennis Hopper.
There we go.
Oh, okay.
And then there's the scene where they take Kyle McLaughlin, Frank and his cronies,
drag him out and put him in the car and drive him out to the middle of nowhere
in the middle of the night and they pull him out of the car and Frank starts just
beating the shit out of him to this song.
Okay.
While the hooker dances on top of the car.
David Lynch.
And it is so creepy.
It's called In Dreams.
In Dreams, wow.
And the hooker is just up there grinding and bumping along and Kyle McLaughlin is
just getting the shit beat out of him.
I could hear Roy Orbison singing this.
It is Roy Orbison.
Oh, it is?
Yeah.
Oh, shit.
Good ear.
Well, then they're okay.
But I would recommend if you don't mind a lot of violence, Blue Velvet is a
really freaky movie.
Okay.
It really is.
All right, no, I'll check it out.
That sounds like something I'd like.
Yeah.
I got one last one I just thought of.
Sure.
Black Label Society's Stillborn.
Ooh.
Yeah, that's a riff and a half.
Off right up.
You already got the screaming.
Oh, that works.
That works really well.
This song accentuates his guitar work so well.
I like the drum beat on it.
You hear that metallic sound he's getting?
It's good.
Oh, it cuts off when I minimize it.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, that's the thing with YouTube music.
Yeah, you can't cut it.
If you minimize it, it'll shut off.
Because they want you to look at the ads.
Yes.
That's the only reason.
Yeah, because I have tons of music apps that you can, you know, you can blank the screen
and they still play.
Yeah, that's right.
But YouTube doesn't because they want you to look at the ads.
Yep.
And plus, if the screen blanks and the music's still playing, the people who put ads in there
wouldn't pay.
No, you're right.
Exactly.
I go, hey, everyone's just going to minimize it.
Fuck you.
Yeah.
Excellent.
So that's a good.
I have a little update on.
Okay.
Oops, I was on the wrong thing there.
I have an update on Gibson firing Randall Smith, who created Mesa Boogie.
Oh, okay.
Now, up until now, Gibson has been saying they parted ways.
He retired.
It's like, you know, it just kind of had to happen.
I'm trying to find the name of the guy.
Anyway, there was a prominent endorser of Mesa Boogie.
Ryan Bruce is his name.
He goes by the name Fluff.
And that's his YouTube channel is Beards, Riffs and Gear.
And he's been a forever Mesa Boogie endorser.
He's got like 50 videos on pretty much every Mesa Boogie product out there.
And then there was a story that came out, an interview that came out with Randall Smith,
where he said, you know, I was doing this, working on that.
And then Gibson fired me.
So you know, here I am, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Yeah, I remember we were talking about that.
So he came right out and said, they fired me.
So Fluff put out a tweet saying something about they don't really, maybe they don't
have a plan or they don't know what they're doing now that they've fired Randall Smith.
And then he said, Gibson called him up within like half an hour and said, yeah, we don't
really like that.
We want you to take down that comment.
He said, okay, no problem.
You give me free gear, so I'll go ahead and do it.
So he took it down.
Except somebody had already taken a screenshot of that comment and used it the next day in
a bigger, more widely read article.
Oh boy.
Where it's, you know, here's Fluff saying that straight up Gibson fired Randall Smith,
you know, blowing right past all their PR that he carefully crafted.
Later that day, Gibson called him up and said, we won't want anything to do with you from
now on.
We aren't going to talk to you.
Don't contact us.
We're never sending you another thing.
We're done with you 100%.
Bye.
Wow.
And just over that, over whether he retired or got fired, Gibson is so picky about not
wanting to look like they fired the guy that they're dumping a years long endorser over
one little comment.
Wow.
Yeah.
Overreaction, maybe?
Overreaction.
Awfully sensitive.
Yeah.
And especially since Randall Smith himself is telling everybody, he'll listen.
Yeah, they fired me.
Yeah.
Yeah, Gibson fired me.
I stayed in my company.
I stayed on for a little bit and then they ran my ass out.
Yeah.
It's not like a, not very well, you know what I mean?
Yeah.
It's not like we're trying to hide who killed Jambonet Ramsey.
Yeah.
Nobody knows that for sure.
But yes, Randall Smith got fired by Gibson.
Everyone knows that.
And nobody really cares.
I mean, it's not that big of a deal for them to be so upset about it.
People are just like, okay, well, all right.
Life goes on.
Yeah.
And it seems really strange that they would be so focused on punishing people for saying
something that's already common knowledge.
Yeah.
I don't get that either.
Overreaction, like you said, at its finest.
Yeah.
So that's, Gibson is not looking so good in the music community right now.
No.
And they're going to find it harder to get endorsers that, you know, are well established
because nobody wants to be treated like that.
Yeah.
They'll get young up-and-comers that nobody's heard of to sign on with their gear.
But what good does that do you?
That's true.
Have you ever heard of Carl Sandoval?
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Okay.
Would you say that he is one of the pioneers of a lot of the music that you heard in the
80s because of his guitars?
Yeah.
Yeah, he would.
He was like the Randy Rhoades, Polka Dot V.
Most people don't know about him.
They don't know about his guitars and about his sound and what he's done.
Yeah.
And anyhow, I mean, now nobody really buys from him at all that I know of.
So anyhow, I just wanted to bring him up and say, you know, if you don't know who this
guy is, take a look at him.
Yeah.
He built a lot of custom guitars for a lot of people.
Even Eddie Van Halen, didn't he?
Yeah.
Yeah, I think he did.
Yeah.
And I was trying to remember the name of the guy who modified Eddie's amps for him.
Shit.
Who is that?
I know who you're talking about.
Yeah.
It's right on the tip of my brain.
Yeah.
And let's see.
What's the other one?
Oh, I think he also did some stuff for Zach Wild to modify his equipment.
Eridondo.
Something like that.
Yeah, something like that.
Yeah.
Ariando, something along those lines.
And then I learned recently that when the BC Rich Guitar Company was building, they
started like in the 70s and they were getting musicians to sign on and buy the guitars and
gears, one of the people who worked in the BC Rich was Charvel, the guy whose last name
was Charvel.
I forget his first name.
But he was making necks with BC Rich guitars.
And then he went on to make it have his own guitar company, Charvel Guitars.
Yeah.
And then he went to Charvel Jackson.
Yeah.
They bought Jackson guitars, right?
Charvel, then Charvel Jackson.
One of them bought the other, yeah.
Yeah.
Whoever bought the other one.
But didn't they end up buying BC Rich also?
Yeah.
It's weird that it's like there are two BC Rich companies.
Yeah.
There's the original one that we're talking about right now.
Yeah.
And they're still making, they're still hand making guitars with complex tone circuits.
And then there's the BC Rich that cranks out $250 import guitars.
Yeah.
And those are garbage.
But they are for like kids that want to play.
Yeah.
They make a lot of really pointy guitars.
So it's good for somebody who's...
It's good for children that want to...
And younger adults...
Yeah.
Want the flash.
That want the flash.
And also maybe hone in on their craft with that guitar.
And then they graduate to something better because they know the difference in the tones.
Yeah.
But your garage band is going to be popular if you have one of those pointy guitars from
BC Rich.
Yes.
Yeah.
Because the pointy guitars are so cool.
Yeah.
And it is, but then again, they've always said, give the cheapest guitar to a well known
guitarist and he'll sound the same.
Yeah.
And it's true.
He'll sound good.
I've seen it online plenty of times.
So it just gives them like something out of a cracker jack box.
Yeah.
And it's like, wow.
How the hell do you make it sound so good?
Yeah.
But no, the pointy guitars are what sells when you're young.
It's like, oh, that looks cool.
Yeah.
Well, Blackie Lawless done a lot of those BC Rich pointy guitars.
Yeah.
The Rich Bitch.
Mockingbird.
Mockingbird was another good one.
They have one called Destroyer or Annihilator or something like that.
Destroyer, I think.
Yeah.
Because I think I remember thinking it sounded like Kiss Destroyer.
Yeah.
And they have, someone's also said those BC Rich pointy guitars are midlife crisis guitars.
They are.
For real.
It's like a version of a toupee and a convertible.
How does a gray haired middle aged man try to look cool on stage?
A pointy guitar.
Yeah.
Except the problem is he looks really stupid.
Yeah, he does.
He thinks it takes him back to his younger days with the hair.
No.
It makes people go, oh my God, that guy never got out of it, did he?
He stayed there his whole life.
He never grew up.
Oh my gosh, really?
Strictly speaking, unless you're already a star, any kind of flashy gear looks stupid.
I agree.
Yeah.
If you have flashy gear and can't play, that's the worst thing in the whole world.
Yeah.
It's like, no.
No.
Give that to a real musician.
Yeah.
No, you're not right.
And shit, I don't know.
What do you want to go into?
What do you got?
Let's see.
I've been watching this Wings of Pegasus channel on YouTube and this guy analyzes live recordings
and concerts and he's got a sophisticated program that will isolate vocals from the music
and then do a frequency analysis on the vocals.
And he was demonstrating the other day two live performances of a U2 song, Sunday Bloody
Sunday.
Mm-hmm.
And both songs start kind of the same way with the drummer doing the drum intro.
And he kept saying, now, drummer's got a click track, so the tempo's going to be exactly
right and the different parts of the song are going to come along just the right times.
And then he brought up two performances of that same song on the same tour and ran them
side by side.
And for the most part, you could hear minor variations in the drumming and in the vocals.
Later in the song, you heard huge variation in the vocals.
So Bono was definitely singing live.
The guitar was absolutely identical.
It never varied.
Do you think the Edge is tracking his?
It seemed like it, but the guy, the host hosting the show, never brought that up.
And then there was a certain point in the song where on that night they decided to extend
the middle part of the song and Bono just started talking to the audience.
And then the other performance, they didn't do that and they just went on with the song.
So if the Edge had been using backing tracks, how could it do it both ways?
Just spur the moment, start repeating.
Yeah.
So at that point, I thought, okay, he is playing it live and he is just that consistent.
It was really striking to hear.
He just continued playing.
It was like hearing one guitar play.
And you could hear two different Bonos singing because his phrasing was slightly off and
he showed the spectral things.
See, here's him singing that line on this night.
Here's him singing on that night.
You can see they're totally different.
It's a genuine live performance.
But man, that guitar sounded just identical.
That is incredible.
You talk about someone that is good.
That's precision.
Have you ever heard the Bono joke?
No.
Bono started doing the clap along in the middle of probably Sunday, bloody Sunday, or it could
be, I don't know, with or without you.
Probably still what I haven't found, what I'm looking for.
Yeah.
Okay.
And he starts clapping.
He goes, every time I clap, a children starves to death in Africa.
So he starts clapping.
Someone in the middle jumps up and goes, well, fucking stop.
Exactly.
You serial killer.
You're killing them, you son of a bitch.
You're standing in front of a serial killing all these children in Africa by clapping your
hands.
Why is everybody clapping?
You know, I'm glad everyone kind of realized that Bono was all talk and that was just kind
of his way of maintaining popularity.
He really didn't give a damn about what he was talking about.
He's proven that now.
Here's what I've always said, and I stick by this.
Roger Waters, Bono, all these other people are so critical of America.
If you really loved America, number one, you would never do business with us.
Number two, if you really, really loved America, you would help pay off our national debt instead
of mouthing off about them.
So put your money where your mouth is, fucking snobbery fuck.
Yeah.
I remember DJs getting on Bono's ass about that.
He said, you two comes over here and does all these concerts and charges, you know,
at the time it was like 20, 30, 40, 50 bucks a ticket.
Yeah.
And then he comes over and tells us all what jerks and assholes and creeps Americans are
and how horrible we are and the rest of the country and the rest of the world hates us
and the crowd.
We go, oh, you're so wonderful.
Yeah.
And the rubes just ate it up.
And it's like, he's talking about you.
You're going out to the parking lot and having a couple of beers and throwing the aluminum
can on the ground.
He's talking about you.
Yeah.
He's talking about his clientele.
But they, of course, would think, oh, he's talking about those other people.
Yeah, exactly.
The rubes.
It's like, no, no, no, he's talking about you.
But yeah, people wise up.
It's like this guy comes over and just runs us down constantly.
Some disaster will happen like 10,000 miles away, but instantly it's the United States'
responsibility to foot the bill and pay for everything.
That's basically what Bono was saying.
No matter what happens, no matter whose fault it is, America needs to pay.
And if you don't, you're lazy, scumbag, asshole pigs.
People really got tired of that shit.
No, I didn't do.
It's like, dude, your music is okay, but it's not worth listening to this garbage.
No, I agree.
It just isn't.
Yeah.
You know, one thing that I'm interested in now, politic wise, is the Panama Canal.
Number one, I don't know why Jimmy Carter gave it back when we spent so much money and
so many lives are lost doing it.
That was really controversial at the time.
I remember that.
I was even thinking as a child, what a stupid ass.
Yeah.
Because now they could decide, oh, you know what?
We don't like you Americans and we're just not going to let you through.
And that's what they're doing now.
Not for any amount of money you can't come through.
Yeah.
That's what they're doing now.
So how do you take that back?
I don't understand that.
Without committing an act of war, you can't take it back.
Is that what's going to happen?
I really don't know.
I don't know who is Panama's protector.
I don't know either.
Here's what I'm thinking.
Isn't there another country in there where there's like a very small strip of land between
each ocean?
I really don't know.
That seemed to be like the perfect spot.
It was a perfect spot.
They built a lake right in the middle for like a holding area.
If you look at the map, anywhere else along there is going to be significantly wider,
like by a factor of two or three or four.
So it's going to be enormously difficult.
I really think there's going to be an economic solution.
I think Trump will offer Panama something to win back basically perpetual control.
Yeah.
Because that's what China's been doing.
Offer them little stuff here and there and that.
It's been working.
So now I think we've got to sweeten the pot.
But no, I don't think you take them over by brawn or for... You're going to get people
to hate you like that.
Yeah.
But another thing that I like this time around though is, and I'm not endorsing anybody at
all, I think they're all croaking as fuck.
Oh yeah.
Okay.
We need to work together.
That seems to be the consensus of both sides now.
That's good.
Well, most generally, generally, not the fragments here and there.
But I keep hearing this.
Let's respect each other.
You don't have to love the other person.
Respect is right to be there.
And leave them alone.
And we all work together for what everybody wants, the majority.
And that's what America is.
Yeah.
Until you can show that he should not have been elected, then accept the reality that
he did.
Exactly.
And that's what bothers me so much too.
And these same people are talking about the rioters.
It's like, well, you may not be rioting, but you're doing the same thing.
You're division.
They feel exactly the same way.
Yes.
Yeah.
And I'm sure we're going to get another whole rash of the people who want to live the next
four years in denial and state, oh, he's got my...
No, I know.
Okay, if you want to pretend that, that's fine, but you're not fixing anything.
You're not helping anything.
No.
And you're not doing anything to make sure that you won't lose next time.
As a matter of fact, you're getting in the way.
Just go ahead and live in denial.
You're getting in the way.
Yeah, really.
If you just want to live in denial like that, you are useless to everybody.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
I mean, engage in reality and do what needs to be done.
Yep.
Yeah.
And you'll see from the Democratic side how they change and adapt between now and the
midterms.
Well, obviously they did something really wrong.
And I think they learned their lesson that-
If they didn't, they're going to have-
Yeah, even their own supporters were not real happy with the things went.
There were huge donors, huge Democratic donors that said, fuck you.
Yep.
And they quit.
They quit the party.
It was like eight years ago when Hillary took the black vote for granted saying, what are
they going to do?
Vote for Trump?
I think the Democratic party is doing the same thing.
It's like, one of these big donors is going to do, donate to Trump.
No, they're just not going to donate at all.
They're not going to support you.
So let's hope the Democratic party keeps learning from these mistakes.
They are making serious mistakes.
Yeah, they are.
The biggest mistake they made was forcing a candidate down everybody's throat.
And if they had done that from the beginning, say, look, Biden's not running again.
We're going to run Harris.
My opinion is Biden and Harris did not seem like they were very close at all at all.
At the end there, especially.
Every time Harris would do some sort of a camera op, he'd do a press conference.
Yeah, to compete.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm sure at some point they told Biden, look, you're out.
Harris is in, but we're waiting for the right moment.
Oh, he was forced.
He was forced.
He knew it before we did.
It was right after the debate.
You know, days and days before he knew.
So when the axe finally fell, I'm sure he had plenty of time to start detesting his
vice presidential running mate.
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
And you know, the impromptu press conferences, every time Kamala was going and signing babies
or something.
Yeah.
Yeah, all of a sudden it's like, wait a minute.
They obviously didn't plan this like that.
And as soon as the election was over, Biden let Trump and his staffers in with open arms
and say, yeah, sure.
You're the next guy who's going to be running this place.
Do whatever you want.
Go ahead.
And he was like.
He left a note for him too.
And Trump was like, oh yeah, he even left me a note.
That's Biden saying, screw you to the Democratic Party.
It is.
I agree.
Yeah.
I agree.
And you know, other people within the Democratic Party are going to watch this and see how
people are being stabbed in the back, discarded, used and thrown away, lied to, all of this.
And they're going to, you know what?
I don't like this party anymore.
Jimmy Carter's funeral was very telling.
Trump and Obama sitting next to each other laughing like fuck about something.
Oh, laughing, smiling, carrying on.
Best friends.
Yeah.
So yeah, it's very obvious that publicly they're, you know, oh, we hate them.
They hate us.
Nah, they're both partners in the same game.
And all the display of Democrats hate Republicans and Republicans hate Democrats.
That's just for us.
That's just for show.
Yeah, just for show.
They all go golfing together.
They're trading, working things out.
And when it comes election time, they stir us up.
Oh, it's us against them.
When in reality it's them and them against us.
You ever hear the term politics make strange bedfellows?
Oh yeah.
I don't know what Trump and Biden are on right now.
They found a common enemy finally.
So.
Yeah.
Paris and what the Democratic party has become is starting to be not what a lot of people
want.
Oh no.
Yeah, because people got tired of the special interests is exactly what happened.
And you know, it's funny.
I thought that Trump was going to kind of bring down the Republican party, especially
if he lost this election.
Actually, he brought it.
No, he made it stronger.
Yeah, it's it's.
I'll tell you where it all turned.
OK, Biden is viewed as a pussy.
Yeah.
Trump got shot and he was standing there with his fist in the air inviting another fucking
bullet.
That right there.
Everyone thought back and said, oh, we got Biden right now and he's over there fucking
trying to clam chowder and spill it everywhere.
And this guy's fucking waving his fist at an attempted assassin saying, fuck you.
Which is another chunk of evidence for it being a staged event.
It could have been.
I don't know.
But I don't know.
How do you?
Well, I guess people being killed for less.
And you know, it really at this point, it really doesn't matter where it doesn't matter.
It's not going to change anything and no one's going to care one way or the other.
It happened.
Move on.
Yeah.
It happened and whatever happened happened.
And if there's a staged event, then it was brilliant.
Yeah.
Because it worked.
So anyhow, you know,
But I don't know.
You know, there have been a lot of attempts on him specifically.
So maybe it was.
And I don't know.
The one thing that I do know is, is the media is more guilty than anyone else.
Yeah.
And now all of a sudden I see a lot of the media being very complimentary to Trump.
It's like, wait a minute.
Wait a fucking minute.
No, no.
If Saturday Night Live starts supporting him, I'm going to really be pissed off.
Yeah.
And then the FCC as a weapon said, hey, you want to broadcast your TV signal?
How about sucker fuck?
Oh my God.
That fucking.
He would be the first one killed during war because he's a traitor.
Oh man.
He will jump on whichever side is beneficial at the moment.
Oh, he's sucking the Republican stick right now.
But a little better go, he was sucking the liberal stick.
And that guy is shameless.
Fucking shameless.
Yeah.
He can't point the fact checkers completely.
So Trump can say, and Trump supporters can say whatever they want.
But I love the way people are taking advantage of that and posting all sorts of things about
Zuckerberg.
I know.
They'll show a picture of him and say, you know, Zuckerberg, known pedophile and child
murderer, was convicted yesterday.
And they just go on and on.
And at the end they say, and now that there are no fact checkers, go ahead.
I dare you to ban me.
Yeah.
Yep.
But I have seen like dozens of posts saying the most outrageous, horrible lies about Zuckerberg.
Yeah.
And they're like, wait, no more fact checkers.
No more.
Here you go.
This is what you get, fucker bird, because nobody likes you.
Do you know how Facebook started?
MySpace?
No.
The very first version of Facebook, its intention was guys could get on and rate women by attracting
attractiveness.
I didn't know that.
Yeah.
That would make it so.
When he was in college, he came up with Facebook.
They think he was in college or whenever it was, but that was the first generation of
it to come out was log on to this and you can rate girls by how attractive you think
they are.
Oh, wow.
That was what Facebook was.
And that's what Zuckerberg's first big idea was.
Is he a nice guy?
I don't think so.
No, no, no, no, no.
No, I've never liked him ever.
I never liked him at first.
I never liked him during and I don't like him now.
At least he doesn't look quite as alien now.
He started to look a little more human.
That's true.
He did.
He did start looking a little bit more human.
He got a little bit of credibility there until now when he is kickboxing.
But then, yeah, and then now it's just kind of like, this guy's fucking idiot.
So yeah.
Let's see.
What else?
I know we're kind of going into douchebag territory here.
Yeah, I had another music thing.
The current business model for concerts is you declare the tour like a year in advance
and then you line up the dates and the venues, but you don't book anything.
But then you start selling tickets a year in advance and then you sit on those people's
money for a whole year and then you've got the financing.
Yeah, and then they have the right to cancel.
And then instead of giving you money back, they give you credit.
Yeah, you'll never get that money back.
Yeah, it's bullshit.
That's why I would never go to a concert.
I'll go to the small ones.
They're done by e-ticks or something like that, but never a Ticketmaster event.
Well, people are catching on to that.
They're not buying them.
Right.
The bands are trying to do the same thing and set up these tours way in advance and
people are saying, you know what?
I'm going to wait till the day of the show.
Because I don't think this is going to sell out and I'm just going to go there day of
the show and get cheap tickets.
So a lot of artists, I'll see them on various platforms whining about, well, I want to go
tour, but I can't raise the money to go tour.
Wait a minute.
You've already been paid a crap ton of money for what you've done so far.
You didn't save any of that?
You can't get a loan?
You can't go borrow money or use your own money?
Well, they can, but they just don't want to.
If you can't get a loan, then you will not sell tickets.
That's just all there is to it.
So they're so set on the model of we don't risk any of our money.
We get the money from the concert goers and risk their money because we never have to
give it back.
That's just such-
I'm so glad people are catching onto this and saying, you know what?
No thanks.
Yes.
Oh my.
Yeah.
I've got something for you tonight.
We do this one feature, okay?
And this is playful.
We have a playful ass cheek bite, a nipple tweak, and what is the other one?
Nut flick.
This is all playful.
So three people you can pick to do this to.
So one would be a nipple tweak, an ass cheek bite, and a nut flick.
And it's playful.
And you pick some celebrity or somebody that's well-known like Elon Musk.
You could give them a nipple tweak.
If you want to partake in this, send me your three and we're going to do it tonight.
We do this, I don't know, like every third podcast we do a nipple tweak, ass cheek bite,
and a nut flick.
Yeah.
And it's kind of a lot like the, what was the game?
Was it Kiss, Marry, and Kill?
Yeah, yeah.
KFD or something.
Yeah, you pick three people or somebody gives you three people and then you have to pick
one, which one I'd kiss, which one I'd marry, and which one I'd want to kill.
Yeah.
So this is kind of like a slightly different version of that.
It's awesome.
Yeah, yeah.
It's like that light.
You know, you don't marry him, you just fucking nipple tweak and nut flick.
And the other game is usually played with people you know, like your coworkers or somebody
in your friend's group or something.
This one, I like it, it's just celebrities.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
So yeah, whoever you want.
Of course you would have to know who they are.
You know, everyone would have to know who they are.
So they'd have to be somewhat of a recognizable person.
And that's, yeah.
Let's see.
You know, Nita Strauss probably needs a little playful nipple tweak.
You know, she could take, oh, that would be cool.
That would be kind of fun too.
Of course I couldn't do that because I'm married.
Yeah, but okay.
I mean, this is alternate universe.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, yeah.
So maybe you're not married.
The alternate universe me could do.
They're your single.
So yeah, you could do that.
But then again, Nita Strauss could look horrible too in that one.
So we don't know.
Oh, that's true.
Yeah, so you may not want to.
You may go there and go, oh, no, no, I changed my mind.
Maybe Bernadette Peters.
Yeah.
I had the biggest crush on her.
Me too.
Remember when The Jerk came out with Steve Martin?
Uh-huh.
Oh gosh, she was hot.
And she had that raspy sultry voice.
Yep, yep.
Yeah.
And the little Betty Boop mouth.
Yes, yeah.
No, that's when I realized that I was a boy.
You know what I mean?
I knew there was something there.
I just didn't know quite.
No, I'm like, I really like that, but I'm not sure.
It's like different than liking my friend.
I really liked that a lot, but it's completely different than liking Roger Down the Road.
Yeah, I like Roger Down the Road, but Bernadette makes my pants feel funny.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
There's something here that I really want to investigate on.
Oh my God, no wonder we all went crazy at 14.
Yeah, really.
We were like, fuck, gosh.
You know what, it's funny, I mentioned Betty Boop.
Bernadette had the Betty Boop mouth.
Yeah, and she also did that boob boop ba doo thing.
Oh yeah, she did.
She played into that.
Yep.
Did you know that Betty Boop was originally and always intended to be a black woman?
Did not know that.
Yep.
The cartoon that started out, Betty Boop was a black woman.
Wow.
But then when they decided to mainstream the cartoon and have people live action it, they
always picked white women because that's old.
But Betty Boop was whitewashed.
That sounds about right.
Okay, she was whitewashed.
She was whitewashed, yeah.
And you know what, I only see white women pretending to be Betty Boop or having Betty
Boop tattoos or have their Facebook icon or whatever.
Yeah.
It's a black woman.
It's always been a black woman.
Wow.
Next you're going to tell me Aunt Jemima was white.
Well, no.
Coincidentally, the whole family is really mad about that.
Yeah.
Yeah, they're like, there's nothing racist about it.
We won her name on it because she's the one that made these pancakes.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, let's see, there's the Alvin Ailey Dance Company.
Alvin Ailey was a prominent choreographer, black, deceased, got AIDS during the AIDS
crisis and pandemic.
But let's see, we can't name his dance company after him because he's black, so we have to
change it, right?
Because Aunt Jemima was black and we can't name the company after her, so Alvin Ailey
Dance Group is going to have to change its name because you can't name anything after
a black person without being hateful.
That's fucked.
Isn't it stupid?
Yeah.
You've never had the most of your life tortured that way constantly about, oh wait, well this
is offensive, but then that's offensive and...
This must be horrid.
It just must be awful.
Someone like that just tells me they're not happy with themselves.
Yeah.
You know?
Yeah.
You got to find something wrong with somebody.
Oh, well what's wrong with this guy?
Oh, well he's black.
And generally the people who are like that really don't understand the cause they are
trying to spouse.
Exactly.
They don't know what they're told to or they think it's cool or they don't have any idea
what else to do, but you can tell they have no idea what they're talking about.
When I was younger, much younger, growing up where I did, you heard the M word a lot
and I really thought that that was common.
I thought that that was like a name for the people.
I really did.
And then later on I found out, no, you don't say that name and I'm like, why?
Yeah, I thought that was a nationality.
Yeah, I did too.
Like you know, French or Australian or Nigerian.
I thought that was...
Me too.
No, I grew up in Northeast Kansas City when I was really young and that's all the kids
there said was the M word.
I'm like, oh, okay, that must be their nationality.
Then later on I'm like, no, you don't say that.
No, no, that's not their name.
I'm like, oh.
So yeah, yeah, it's weird, isn't it?
I mean, it's hard to believe that we're so far, we're not that far removed from it.
Yeah, yeah.
But then again, when you see people, you're kind of like going, yeah, I believe we're
not that far removed from it.
Yeah.
I mean, it wasn't all that long ago, probably within 10 years, that there was that black
man who was jogging through his own neighborhood and a truckload full of rednecks thought that
he had broken into somebody's house.
Yeah, yeah, because he was black and did it.
Ran him down and shot him.
Yeah.
Oh yeah, that happened a lot too.
Yeah.
So then the thing happened in the 1920s and it was awful even back then, but it was a
different time back then.
I thought it was a different time now, but apparently in some parts of the country it
still is 1920, isn't it?
I think it was, yeah, I think it was Cumbie, Texas.
Yeah, I know it was Texas.
I-40 or I-30.
There was, oh, a lot of this came from Texas actually, that and this too.
On the side, on the sign off of the interstate as you're driving into that smaller town,
it said, M-word, don't let the sun go down on your ass in this town.
Yeah.
I remember seeing that in 94 and 95.
96, they finally took it down and I used to be in awe back then going, how in the fuck
does that thing stay there?
Well, I guess it was a well-known thing.
You touch it, you might get shot.
Yeah.
Somebody will find out if you mess with it.
Yeah, so you had to fucking leave that.
Yeah, it's when the bully runs the town.
Yeah, and then people that drive down the freeway that know better are like, fuck this,
they're not going to go do it because they might get shot or the town sheriff might fucking
arrest you.
Oh, we saw you break into the Joneses.
What?
Yeah.
So people out of being afraid wouldn't take that bullshit down and the people around there
or at least most of them supported it.
And if I have the town wrong, I'm sorry, but that's what I thought it was.
I remember-
I think it's I-30 and not I-40.
I-20, I-30.
I think it's I-30.
Yeah.
Those are east-west.
Yes.
The odd numbers go north-south, even numbers go east-west.
When I was a kid and taking family vacations, we generally went west and northwest, not
south.
But if we'd gone south, I'm sure I would have seen drinking fountains still labeled
white only.
Probably.
Colored center, round back, that kind of thing.
Yeah, that kind of bullshit.
You know, even in the late 60s, early 70s, that kind of stuff was still up in a lot of
at least very small towns.
You know, the big towns were taking it down, but small towns definitely.
Yeah, big towns, yeah.
But when I found me a vacation, we'd go out west and out there it wasn't black people
being scapegoated, it was Native Americans.
Yeah, yeah.
And my oldest brother's first wife apparently just decided to join right in on that.
And when they lived in, it was either Washington or Montana.
I think it was when they moved to Washington.
And she was talking about encountering a bad driver on the road.
And he did something, not a good driving maneuver.
And she grinned and said, oh well, just another crazy drunk Indian.
I seem to have heard something like that too, Crowley.
Yeah.
And just the presumption that every Native American is a drunk and they're all crazy.
And you just roll your eyes and shake your head because they're all just like little
children that are drunk and blah blah.
And this was in the 90s.
Was a drunkard.
You can tell he's got the gin blossom nose and the silly look on his face.
Yeah.
And that's a pretty common thing to do is to take a group that you're trying to marginalize
and make them fools.
Remember when movies and TV shows relentlessly portrayed smart people as idiots?
You might know how to create this rocket fuel, but you can't figure out how a car works or
how to cook a meal.
And then everyone would laugh at the stupid egghead.
And for decades in America, we were all programmed to ridicule and disregard smart people.
Yep.
I-30 does go through Cumbia.
I think it's somewhere in that area, one of those towns.
Yeah.
Yeah, no, you're right.
So marginalized groups include Native Americans.
You can't really get away with showing black people in the caricatures and stereotypes
that there used to be.
No, no.
But there are still groups that you can do that with.
Yeah, there still are some.
Yeah.
I see shows, current TV shows sometimes that make just the most horrible stereotype and
caricature of a Christian and portray them as the most bigoted, idiotic fool.
I would agree.
Yeah, now it's like open game on Christians.
Yeah, yeah.
You kind of expect that from Hollywood media anyway.
Yeah.
Let's see.
Damn it, I had a subject I was going to go into, and now I fucking forgot it.
We tend to do that a lot.
We drive the thoughts out of each other's heads.
Yeah, we do.
Yeah, okay.
Well, let's see, I'm trying to think if I've heard any news lately about the music scene.
I had a bunch of it, but I've forgotten it.
There's a study that says music invokes memories.
I can see that.
Yeah.
It's like a really, really, what would you call it?
It's a good association.
Yeah.
It's like a trigger.
I'll have to bring the whole article, but it goes really in depth about how they've
proven that whenever you listen to music, it invokes memories of different times, and
it depends on what song meant to you back then.
Yeah.
It could be a breakup song.
It could be a song that someone played at their funeral.
Yeah.
All this stuff, the music takes you back to memories because of the meaning of it to you.
When you first listen to it, that's the meaning of it.
It's talking about you first listen to a song, whatever stage of life you're going through,
that's where you were at on that song, and that's where it stays.
Yeah.
I can think of some times during 1974 and 75, which was just really miserable time in
my life, and the music kind of sucked, in my opinion, at least the stuff I could get
on my radio.
There's a number of songs that were popular then that if I hear them now, it just takes
me right back to that dismal, depressing, gloomy time in my life.
It's like, oh, get that song off, man.
I ain't going to listen.
It's Seasons in the Sun by Terry Jacks.
Oh my gosh.
That song is horrible.
Isn't it?
It's just one of the worst songs ever made.
We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun.
That's it.
And now you're gone or something like that.
Someone said they were talking about their dog, but I don't think so.
No, no.
I think that Barry Manilow song, Mandy.
Oh, yeah.
That was written about his dog, Brandy.
Yeah, yeah, Brandy.
But then he changed the name to Mandy and pretended it was about a girl.
Yeah, because that's what made, yeah.
But then we come to find out Barry Manilow never had those feelings for any girl.
No, no.
And you know, the weirdest thing was Barry Manilow could have come out in the 80s.
No one cared.
And nobody would have given a shit.
Everyone kind of figured.
Yeah, yeah.
But apparently he was important to him.
He was a bachelor at large or a confirmed bachelor.
There was an episode of the show Will and Grace where Will was waiting in line for Barry
Manilow tickets.
Stereotype.
But they kept going and just like all sorts of insinuations and like talking around it,
you know, hinting that he's gay without actually coming out and saying it.
So it was like the show saying, everybody knows he's gay, but we're just not going to
say it outright.
And then Chris Penn played, I think like the stage manager.
Is this before Barry Manilow just went ahead and said, nah?
Yeah.
This was, this would have been 90s.
Oh, okay.
But Chris Penn played stage manager, I think, and he was out there flirting with Will and
saying, you know, if you go on a date with me, I'll get you tickets and you come back
and meet Barry and blah, blah, blah.
So they were even having the entourage around Barry Manilow portrayed as gay.
But they didn't want to come out and say, yeah, yeah.
And then Melissa Gilbert, you know who that actress is?
Yeah.
She played.
Little House on the Prairie.
Yeah.
Laura Ingalls, maybe played Laura Ingalls.
Yeah.
Little House on the Prairie.
Yeah.
Or, oh, I'm saying the wrong person then.
She was on the Rosie O'Donnell show.
It was one of the daughters.
Oh, that's another Gilbert, not Melissa Gilbert.
Sarah Gilbert.
Yeah.
Okay.
Sarah Gilbert was in the episode too and she was in line ahead of Will and ragging on him
because she was-
That makes more sense.
Yeah.
That makes more sense.
The age demographics more, yeah.
And then we come to find out Sarah Gilbert's a lesbian.
So it's like they were piling everybody into the scene who was either portraying a gay
person or was a gay person in real life.
Or was a gay person, yep.
It's like, that's not coincidence.
That's the show intentionally packing this scene to let you know exactly what's going
on without coming out and saying-
Well, it was like the famous scene.
There's like a big jamathon for some sort of a charity or something.
And that was when Rob Halford was rumored to be gay all over the place, but not confirmed.
Yeah.
Sebastian Bach came out and started singing with Rob Halford.
He put the microphone down between his legs and Rob Halford jumped down and started singing
on it really close.
Oh my God.
And then Sebastian Bach turned around and he puts his arms out like, there you go.
And people still didn't get it.
Yep.
And I think they rehearsed that.
I think Sebastian Bach's like, no one gives a fuck.
You're the metal god.
Come on out and just do this.
Yeah.
He's like, okay.
They did that and people still didn't take it.
They're like, they didn't want to know.
They didn't want to know.
Yeah.
I think a lot, you know, people can handle it better.
I know in the seventies and eighties, at least the crowd I was having contact with, weren't
necessarily automatically openly hostile to gay men, but certainly anybody gay was looked
down on, pitied, considered to be somewhat mentally insane, blah, blah, blah.
It was not thought of as, you know, a way a person is.
It was more thought of as an aberration.
So Judas Priest having a gay lead singer, there would be a lot of people who would be
like, that's weird and creepy.
Rob Halford can't be the metal god being gay.
But there would also be people who would like, well, I don't like it that he's gay and I
don't like gay people or thinking that what they do.
Well, you shouldn't be thinking about what they do.
Yeah, you shouldn't.
It has nothing to do with you.
And it's just like the fucking scumbags, the dirtbags, you just go, hey, gay person, touch
me, I'm killing him.
I'm like thinking, you don't have to worry about it.
Oh yeah.
Nobody's going to get near you.
Yeah, yeah.
And pretty much the guys who would react that violently are the ones who are really unsure
about their own sexuality.
Exactly.
And they're afraid that just being touched by another man will turn them instantly gay.
That's what we always said growing up in my clique.
We're like, look, why are you so worried about it?
And if a guy comes up to me and says, hey man, you want to go do this?
I'd be like, no, thank you.
I'm not going to beat their ass.
I've had guys hit on me and flirt with me and ask me out and it's like, dude, I'm team
vagina.
Sorry.
Actually, I'm not sorry.
No, no, no.
I've done that a few times too.
It's like, I don't know what you think you're picking up on, but I'm not that guy, but I
don't hate you for it.
And just, yeah.
Yeah.
And a couple of occasions it's like, I have a friend I can introduce you to.
Yeah.
Hang on.
Let me get him on the phone.
I'm not going to let him talk.
But it's a...
Well, I got a lot of the ones that when it was like big, I was growing up and, you know,
and like trying to bag chicks in the deal when it was popular for gay men to try to
land straight men.
And it was pretty annoying too.
It was like, look, I know this game.
I've heard about it.
Don't include me in on it.
I'm not one of them you're going to get, but you know, but thank you.
I appreciate the thought.
But no, you know, I think so and so might be swank.
Go over there.
Yeah.
You make someone up that guy over there.
I had a gay friend of mine tell me that one of the most attractive things to a gay man
is a newly divorced straight man.
Gay men will take a run at them hard.
Why?
Because they're lonely or confused or...
And probably down on women.
Oh yeah.
And you can, you know, the idea is you can catch him in a vulnerable moment where he
kind of doesn't, he's not real fond of women.
So he's like, eh, what the hell?
It's like, it's considered a challenge, I think.
I guess so.
Yeah.
So when I got my divorce, my friend Paul called Cindy and said, well, you know, I've just heard
the divorce is final and you know there's nothing more attractive to a gay man than
a newly divorced straight man.
And Cindy said, hands off.
Stay away.
Nope.
Not participating.
He would tease her like, does he have a hairy back?
What does he look like with his shirt off?
Shut up.
I'm doing a number quiz here.
So far he's got 30 and I'm trying to get him to 50.
But you know, I know Paul wasn't hitting on me.
He was just having fun.
No, he was just having fun.
Yeah.
Whether he actually found me attractive or not, I have no idea and I never asked and
I don't care.
No, no, no.
I mean, you know, we would tease each other.
We'd bust each other's chops.
We'd have, you know, good long heart to heart talks.
I mean, he was a really good friend during a difficult time in my life and really helped
me in a lot of ways.
Oh yeah.
And you know, for a while there he kind of had the inkling that, you know, is Tofer trying
to tell me he's gay?
Oh wow.
And I was like, no, no, that's not what I'm trying to tell you.
I'm trying to tell you my first marriage is a disaster.
Yeah.
I'm just saying.
Yeah.
But his first marriage was a total disaster too.
He came out while he was married after he'd already had two kids.
Oh, okay.
And then he came out and it was really hideous, horrible divorce and he wound up bankrupt.
Oh man.
And just, you know, and he's bounced back very well.
That's good.
But we had, you know, he had a lot of real life experience.
Did he not know he was gay until this?
I mean, what happened?
I don't think so.
He showed me a picture from high school and he was, you know how the marching band has
the guy who's in the uniform, the tall hat and he's got the baton and he's, you know,
he was that guy and he could jump and do the splits real, real high in the air.
And he showed me that picture and he said, yeah, this is what I could do in high school.
And he said, and no, that's not what turned me gay.
Then did you say I begged Tofer that did that?
No, I've had some gay friends before they act differently after they know you because
at first they don't know if they can tease with you about it or not.
Cause some guys are like really stiff around that like, Oh no, no, no, don't get near me
with that stuff.
Yeah.
And then there's ones are like, they don't care.
They're like, whatever man, just have fun.
You know, I know you're joking.
It's fine.
Yeah.
I know in a lot of cases they're trying to make you blush.
Yes.
They want to see what it takes to make you blush.
That's what a good friend of mine, a female told me.
She goes, the reason that guys don't like getting hit by on by gay men is they make,
they make you feel like we feel with all the guys hitting on us.
Yeah.
You kind of feel like the girl.
Yeah.
You're kind of like, huh, man, get a walk, you know, kind of feel slimy.
That's the way women feel every night.
Guys go, Hey, can I buy you a drink?
You know, or whatever.
Yeah.
I noticed you're wearing the, you know.
Yeah.
I mean, I've seen a lot of creepy guys hitting on girls in a very creepy way.
Oh yeah.
It's kind of like a, see that commercial I forgot for like Subaru or something.
And it's the auto start that comes to you.
And the guy's like going, Oh, you look much shorter than I thought you were.
It's like a blind date thing.
And then he goes, Oh, this is me, air drum competition, you know.
And they saw, I forgot my wallet, sugar mama or something like that.
And meanwhile, that right there illustrates like some guys, you know, they just take all
this stuff for granted.
Oh, she's going to think I'm hot.
So I'm going to go ahead and just start fucking, you know, talking about myself.
You don't have to listen about her at all because I'm going to tell her about myself
and stuff like that.
I've heard so many guys do that.
I'm like thinking that's not working.
That's never going to work.
No, no, it's, it's real similar to the technique of acting like you and the girl have known
each other for a long time.
And you're already close and you're already, you know, have earned the right to like put
your hands on her and the guys will walk up and just start acting like they've already
been dating for a couple of weeks.
And some girls will just respond to it and fall into it.
Most of them, I'm sure like who the hell are you?
Yeah.
Get the fuck away from me.
And then there's the girls that like, as soon as you got to know them or not even really
get to know them first night you meet them, they start telling you about all their stuff,
all their problems.
It's like, geez, it's like, wait a minute.
All I did was say hi and like, no, no, no.
Yeah.
You're violating my ear space here.
Yeah.
I think that usually is a person who just really needs someone to talk to and everyone
they know they've already talked to them about it.
So they're looking for someone fresh to talk to.
You'd have to find that one reason you got to leave.
So you'd be like, oh shit, there's my friend.
Hang on.
They're leaving.
I got to go say bye to them.
And then you let yourself out and just never come back.
Yeah.
I'll see you later.
And everybody in the room knows why you left early.
Yeah.
So and so wouldn't leave them alone.
There was a significant period during my first marriage where my...
Oh shit.
Was that the national alarm?
I think so.
That was nuclear?
Yeah.
I think Alaska's gone.
Oh, yep.
This is our last episode, by the way.
What was I talking about?
I'm talking about letting yourself out and listen to a woman just keep telling you about
all her stuff.
Yeah.
You had talked about...
Are we going to have to back the show up so I can tell what I was...
Oh, we'll just go on.
I can't remember.
Yeah.
Fuck.
I get distracted in my...
Sorry, me too.
And I'm not even high.
I mean, I just...
I've had coffee.
This is natural hair.
I don't know what fuck I'm talking about.
Let me scratch myself.
We need permission to do the show inside the coffee house.
Yeah.
That would be cooler in hell.
Yeah.
That would be great.
Heat rises.
Yeah.
Yep.
That would be cool.
Yeah.
I don't think I'd want to do it because it's so confined in there.
Yeah.
Everybody coming up to use the bathroom and have to listen to us.
Yeah.
And you hear people pissing in the background because that door is in that heavy duty.
I get shyness.
I'm like, oh no.
Everyone out there, there's a bunch of people.
They can hear me pissing.
So you try to hit the rim instead of the water.
Yeah.
That way it's like...
Then you wind up peeing on the floor and yourself.
Yeah.
Then on the rim.
I leave it.
I remember what I was going to say before.
Oh, go ahead.
There's a period where my ex-wife wouldn't go out to do things with me.
So I was usually solo when I'd go out with friends or anything like that.
There was a time I went out to a party at some friend's house in Columbia, Missouri.
And pretty much as soon as we got there, this apartment was where two girls staying in there.
And one of their friends stopped by and everybody was kind of talking to everybody.
And she learned that I was married.
And she said, oh, okay, cool.
I'm hanging around with you all night.
Because she didn't want to get hit on.
And if she hung around with me, guys would presume that we were together.
Hawaii is gone.
Yeah.
You were safe.
Yeah.
I was the safe guy to hang around.
And she wound up sleeping with one of my friends that night.
So she was able to-
I guess you weren't safe enough.
Yeah.
Well, I think I gave her room to choose who she wanted to be with.
Yeah, I understand that.
Without being constantly bombarded.
And that's happened several times.
I've kind of fulfilled that role because the person I was married to at the time didn't
want to go out.
I may have told this story before, one instance where my band was playing this bar in Bonner
Springs.
And the girlfriend of my friend's girlfriend was there by herself when this one drunk guy
kept hitting on her.
So during a break between our sets, she came up and said, pretend to be my boyfriend so
this guy will leave me alone.
So I went over and sat at the table with them and acted like I was chummy and everything.
And then I guess I wasn't doing a good enough job because she reached over and grabbed my
hand and put it on her thigh and said, no, we're supposed to be boyfriend and girlfriend.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, but you see the problem I have with that is someone could see that and go, is
that your husband?
Yeah.
Well, he was over there rubbing some chicks on her thigh.
I was like, wow.
Yeah.
So yeah, I had to tell the band mates.
It was like, yeah, I'm not really cheating here.
This is helping someone out.
Okay, I see.
So you knew everybody there well enough to let them know what's going on.
Yeah.
All right, that's different.
So just one 20 minute break doing that and then I was heading back up to the stage and
the guy came up and said, oh man, I'm sorry.
I didn't know that was your girlfriend.
I didn't mean to hit on her.
I said, no problem.
She needs to dance with somebody when I'm on stage.
But then he's cool because you didn't say, fuck you, get away from her.
You're just like, oh, that's no big deal.
Yeah.
And I said, she doesn't want to dance tonight because she's tired.
It's no big deal.
She's like, oh, that's really cool, man.
And then I got up on stage and all the band members were looking at me like, okay, what's
going on?
And I said, I'm being the fake boyfriend to help this girl out.
And they're like, oh, okay.
Well, I actually got a girlfriend actually doing that.
Yeah.
Yeah, I don't know if it's a ruse or not, but she's like, hey, will you hang near me
and act like my boyfriend because these guys keep bothering me.
Okay.
All right.
That'd actually be a really good way for a girl to pick up a guy.
Yeah.
And I got picked up then.
Yeah.
And I was like, hey, my ride didn't show up.
Can you take me home?
Yeah, sure.
Yeah, we're friends.
Next morning, I guess, hmm, I guess we're not friends now.
You know, I've been in relationships for so long that I probably wouldn't know how to
flirt and I probably wouldn't recognize if somebody was flirting with me.
Or if you tried to be quirky.
Yeah.
I'd probably be pretty embarrassing.
Yeah, me too.
I'd probably be like, ah, you look nice.
I like it.
I like it haircut.
And don't look her in the eye.
There was a time before Missouri had legal weed that I was driving to Illinois to buy
it.
The Stone Ages?
Yeah.
And it was the deal where you drive there and park in a spot and then you take a bus
shuttle to the dispensary.
And then they'd shuttle you back and then you can drive home from there.
That's fucking awesome.
Yeah.
Next stop, Weedville.
And the Missouri Highway Patrol had already publicly stated in the newspaper said, yeah,
we don't care about people coming back from Illinois with weed.
We got other things to worry about.
Oh, good.
We're not stopping anybody.
We're not searching anybody.
We don't care.
So that worked out really well.
But riding back on the shuttle bus from the dispensary, there's a woman about my age and
she just started talking to me and she kept initiating more conversation.
I'd answer and talk to her and be polite, but I wasn't keeping it going because I was
married.
But she was keeping it going and keeping it going.
And finally, I rested my arm over the seat in such a way that my wedding ring showed
and instantly she was no longer interested in me.
Oh, wow.
And then she started flirting with the guy sitting in front of her.
I thought, this woman wants to go get high and have sex.
Yes.
She's looking for somebody to go get high and have sex with.
Then you wonder if it's a compliment or not.
I took it as a compliment.
I would've too.
And you know, I really couldn't answer the question, well, if you were single, would
have you done it?
I can't even think about that because I'm not single.
Yeah, and that's an odd situation to just suddenly be thrown in to figure something
out.
Yeah.
I mean, the idea of having just random, spontaneous sex with a total stranger scares the crap
out of me.
Yeah, when you're younger, you'll think about stuff like that.
When you're older, you're like, I don't know, man.
That involves a lot of time and I don't have it.
Then I gotta wake up the next day and they're there and then I gotta figure out something.
Yeah, I've seen movies where you wake up the next morning in the girl's apartment and
her bed is like ringed with mouse traps.
And you're like, what the hell, man?
Oh, God.
I got one for you.
This buddy of mine, Chris, he wasn't anything special, man.
He used to hang around in Westport.
He did a really good Chris for a walk in imitation.
Sounded just like him.
And then he did a lot of other stuff.
He was just cool, but he wasn't good looking.
I mean, you could just tell he's kind of quirky and kind of skinny, odd looking shaped body.
And he picked up women all the time.
Okay.
So maybe he had a huge Johnson.
I don't know.
Yeah, something.
I don't know.
Maybe he could eat his way out of a paper bag.
I don't know.
But anyhow, something he had that it that several fair, whatever it is, he had it.
Okay.
And so he was telling me about, he goes, yeah, he goes, one time I was up here at buzzer
beach and he goes this really hot blonde brunette or something.
I think he said brunette, but it doesn't matter.
He got to come up to me and start talking to me.
And he's like, well, hey, let's continue this after party at my apartment.
Okay, cool.
So anyhow, they got plastered like fucking did it all night.
Right.
And then the next morning she wakes up really early.
She goes, I got to go to work.
I'll see you when I get home.
Right.
Or if, if not, if you have to go, my number's right here.
Okay.
So call me.
Okay.
So he's sleeping all Sunday.
Here's the door open and slam.
And he hears a guy cough.
Oh, and he's in the bedroom and he's there.
He's going, oh fuck, I'm going to die.
This chick was married and she's fucking lied to me.
And you know, he didn't think anything about it.
It's like, oh good, I'll just wake up whenever, see if she has some pancakes in her fridge
and yeah.
And then go home.
And he's like, shit, he's trying to look out and she's like up like five stories.
It's like, oh shit, that's not an option.
There is no ledge under the bed.
No, there's not enough room closet.
I don't think I could hide in there.
It's not big enough.
He's coming up with all these scenarios.
So he's in there for 10 minutes, stressing and sweating.
Also in the phone rings guy answered.
Hello.
He starts laughing and he hangs up the phone and he goes, Hey, uh,
Chris, um, I'm her friend.
And uh, anyhow, we're roommates.
He goes, uh, I'm not her boyfriend.
You're not trouble.
And she thought about it.
If he's still there, oh shit.
So is so it's coming home and he's going to freak out.
That would be, yeah.
I saw a picture of a note that a guy left.
Um, he had been, he got picked up by this girl at a bar.
Went home with her, spent the night, they had sex.
The next morning she tells him that she's married.
Oh, and then, so he's, he's irritated by that.
He, when he goes to the bathroom and typically women will raise the lid, but not the seat.
So he raised the seat and taped a note under it saying, dude, I am so sorry, but your wife
didn't tell me until this morning that she's married.
Now I just thought you should know that she's picking up men.
That's awesome.
And it was taped to the underside of the, of the seat.
So there's no way a guy would know.
Only the guy would lift that up and see that.
So when her husband got home and went to take a piss, he'd see that note.
I thought that was pretty clever.
That is clever.
And you know, in a circumstance like that, you don't blame the guy.
No, no, because you don't know.
I mean, yeah.
Wow.
That's brilliant.
I just thought that was a really good way to shut that girl down.
Yeah, because man, she's like really, really messing with your life there.
You don't know what the guy's going to do.
You know?
She could pass along any number of diseases.
She could get pregnant and claim it's his baby.
Yeah.
All this stuff, it opens up the door for all kinds of crazy shit.
Now in the interest of fairness, I want to say, I know guys can be just as sleazy, if
not more sleazy.
Yeah, this is not a...
This is not a dig on women.
This is just, you know, this instance.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
I know more guys that are like that than women that are just complete scumbags, do whatever,
lie, cheat, steal, whatever.
There's a guy who was my bully in grade school and my brother John's bully.
But as we grew up and got into college, the situation flipped around and this guy was
like a little puppy dog chasing after my brother because he thought my brother was so cool.
But he was still a jerk and an asshole and a bully.
And he referred to all women as VSUs, which stood for Vaginal Support Unit.
Oh, I've heard that term before.
Yeah.
So he reduced the woman to just excess material, so life support for the vagina because that's
the important part.
Okay.
That person had like a mother or I don't know, or a female teacher or someone that dominated
him and hurt him.
I guess.
I mean, that's the only way.
I mean, I don't think you just naturally have that kind of a hate and kind of a...
I know.
It's just, oh.
Yeah.
And then he had business cards printed out offering 24-hour gynecological exams with
his home phone number on it.
Oh, yeah.
I think that, yeah.
I know a lot of guys did that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But no, no, no.
What I'm saying is this right here.
Or you heard the, yeah, I don't have the degree but I have the hours, gynecological.
Yeah.
Okay.
Something's really wrong with that person to think like that, to degrade someone to
just that.
So is something in them that's making them do that that they feel inferior or something?
So they gotta bring people down to their level.
I remember that he had a serious girlfriend for a while and every now and then I'd go
out and hang out with the guys.
And the impression I got from what my brother told me is this guy's girlfriend totally
dominated him, treated him like she was mom and he was the ornery little kid that she
had to ride her on.
And he was always, he would mostly go along with it but occasionally rebel like a little
kid would and do something stupid.
And it really did seem to be mother and son relationship between them.
The stern mom who's trying to make him straighten up and fly a riot and then he's the prattly
little kid who wants to get in trouble and see what he can get away with.
And this is when he was 20 years old.
Yeah.
Well I found out some stuff about a friend of mine after their divorce and it was really
weird but the guy liked to play like the wife was his mom and liked to get beat with a board.
Well that was just the start of their failed relationship.
And then this came out, they dated for like seven years and then they got married and
they seemed like happy as hell but when all that was over I don't think she was lying
to me.
I don't, because she didn't hate him or nothing.
She just said I just don't want anything to do with him.
He's got a lot of issues that he's got to sort through and I don't want to deal with
it.
Yeah.
And anyhow I was like what?
And I knew the guy, I thought I knew the guy really well.
And it's like how in the fuck does that happen you know?
Not anyhow.
Yeah there was a guy I knew most of the way through high school and it seemed like just
a regular kind of guy but then senior year at a party he was in the bathroom, in the
bathtub and anytime someone would come in to use the bathroom he would ask them to piss
on him instead.
Oh so you gotta pee, just pee on me man, come on pee on me.
Guys, gals, anybody he just wanted to be peed on all night.
I don't get it personally.
Oh no, no, no.
My brother knew a drug dealer that used to pay women to shit on a glass coffee table
while he masturbated and people were in there smoking dope and stuff and trying out his
dope while he was doing this.
Damn.
And you dealt with it because he had the drugs.
He had the best dope in town so he had to put up with his yikes.
So he had to sit there and watch someone masturbate underneath the glass table while a woman took
his shit on it.
I'm like, I'm sorry, I don't care, I could be a heroin junkie, no way.
I'm gonna go find the heroin somewhere else, fuck you.
I'm gonna go get straight and cleaned up man.
This is it.
I refuse to sit here and watch this.
I think I've reached bottom.
I think I've officially reached bottom.
Yeah this is less than zero moment.
Was that Robert Downey Jr., less than zero, who was that?
I think it was Downey.
Yeah and then he ended up being a drug addict in real life didn't he?
Yeah.
Yeah that's your less than zero moment right there.
That's when you look around and you have a moment of clarity like the rails went off
officially.
Tom Sizemore was like that too.
Yes, oh yeah, bad, bad, bad.
He was like Mr. Beefy Burley guy in Saving Private Ryan.
I mean he looked like he was a solid guy but then you saw him later and he was just a skeleton
with skin on it.
Yeah he...
He and Heidi Fleiss were just really toxic for each other.
Oh yeah that's right Heidi Fleiss.
Yeah the Mayflower Madam, was that her?
Yeah the Mayflower Madam, yeah wow I forgot all about her.
They had such a toxic relationship.
Oh he was like nuts wasn't he like that?
She was too.
Yeah she was too but he was a little bit more, wasn't he like real controlling and freaky
and...
He'd get violent and then he'd go crawling back to her and they'd get wasted for a few
days and then they'd start fighting again and then they split up and then they get back
together and blah blah blah.
Eventually he used up his body doing all that until he just couldn't live anymore.
Wow.
Died pretty early.
Yeah gosh yeah that was sad.
Alright I gotta use the bathroom so we might consider shutting this bitch down.
Alright.
Sounds like a plan.
Thank you for not having any notes here, I mean we did pretty good.
I think we did.
Yeah alright.
We wasted lots of time.
Yes we did.
If you're still here fuck off.