And now it's time for...
The Daily Deucebag Pledge.
Here at Two Deucebags in a Microphone, we don't stand behind our journalistic integrity.
Go ahead and assume we got the story wrong. At least we admit it.
Not like all those other guys. We can and will lie if it makes the story better.
Two Deucebags and a Microphone.
We Talk.
Is a...
Two Deucebags and a Microphone. The only podcast with Gusto.
That's right, Gusto. Just like Schlitzbeer. Google it.
Ho ho ho! This is Crotch the Old Saint Prick. I'm the guy that comes in after Christmas and douses all your dreams and hopes. Ho ho ho!
Let's go to our mailbag and see what's next. Looks like it's little Jeff from Mason City, Iowa.
All I want is a saddle for my horse. Please and thank you.
Well, Little Jimmy, I don't have a saddle for you, but I have a poem.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I took your horse and had it made into glue. Ho ho ho!
Our constant pursuit for a real knee-slapper. It's strange insults from an alien. Real hilarity.
Me raccoons, constantly tear up your garbage outside. Just enough to where the city workers won't take it. That way you have to re-bag it every time just to get the city to take it.
Two douchebags and a microphone. I'm Mark.
And I am Rob.
Alright, hang on. I forgot to put up my pop filter. This is because I love to pop my peas and it's not very appealing sometimes to a lot of people and I understand it.
So I was suggested by Davey when we were seeing the WASS concert. I was telling him about some of the issues I was having and he said get a pop filter because it's not on yet so you're going to hear me popping my peas.
So anyhow, here is the magical solution to me popping my peas and that is pop filter. You'll hear it when you hear this broadcast.
I had my friend Mike send me an email and I got to see if I could harness the other emails because I'm having problems with it again.
There's a couple of interesting ones but I lost them but I remember this one because Mike sent it to me first and I remember it so well I can tell it without actually having to read it.
He was telling me a couple of things. Number one, Fuck Hammer, he reminded me of where I got that name from. One of the bands that I hated going around Kansas City at the time was named Trip Hammer.
I remember that name.
Okay yeah, they were a big band around Kansas City and I couldn't stand them so I came up with Fuck Hammer instead of Trip Hammer and that's where I started making the flyers up with that ugly legs diamond band out the back of the hit parade.
The people in Westport, I mean the bar owners and shit were pissed. They wanted to know where all this stuff is coming from because people were pissing them. Hey, I thought Fuck Hammer was playing tonight. Who the hell is Fuck Hammer? The band that's out there on a flyer. Someone brought them one of you. Who the fuck did this? I don't know.
Yeah, I got the name from Trip Hammer. I couldn't stand them so I came up with Fuck Hammer. Then he reminded me of something else. We often talk about, we love the version of Motley Crue with John Karabi, right? You and I both do. And so does Topher. It's a good album.
I would have called it a different name besides Motley Crue but it was a fantastic album. I still listen to it and I love it. It's great. So anyhow, I went to that concert at Sandstone. Sandstone holds maybe what, 12,000? Something like that, would you say?
About that, yeah. There's probably about 3,000 to 4,000 there at the most. So anyhow, out there, it was empty. It was a notoriously bad tour. No one was going to grunge with us big and no one really cared. The people that did like Motley Crue was pissed off because Vince left. All that stuff, right?
So it was a very transitional, weird period in their history. So I went to this concert because I wanted to see it. I liked John Karabi. I liked him in The Scream. I also knew of him from some other bands. I liked his voice. I was like, okay.
I liked the way him and Mick played together. I thought it was very unique. So I go to this concert and I'd say there's 3,000 there probably, not even 4,000. And this guy walks over and there's like five empty rows in the middle to the upper part because everybody ran down from the seats.
And we're in the box seats in the middle there because my buddy Mike had box seats through a friend of his. So anyhow, I see this guy down there and everyone's having them sign their tour books and stuff.
So I walk down there and one of the friends is with Mike and he goes, hey man, he goes, that's John Karabi right there. I'm like, really? Okay. Type O negative opened up for Motley Crue, right? And anyhow, their guitarist, Kenny Hinkley, was the one sitting there.
And everybody thought it was John Karabi. We walk up and my friend goes, hey, that's John Karabi. And everyone believed it. Okay. And we didn't know any better. I walk up and when he starts writing his name down, I kind of got it. I was like, wait a minute.
That's not John Karabi. Looks a little bit like him, but that's not him. And everyone's like going up to him going, hey John, man, you got to get on stage here pretty soon. What are you doing out here? And he never said anything. He just went with it.
It was funny. It was actually Kenny Hickley, or Hickey, I think it's Hickey. Kenny Hickey of Type O negative, the guitarist. They just got done playing. And he went out there to watch the Motley Crue concert, right? With a crowd, because that's what kind of guy he is.
And Type O negative, I love them. They're a great band. And he was out there. And everyone around us thought it was John Karabi because people like my friend, the guy that was with Mike, I forgot the guy's name, I think it was like Bill or Bob or some shit like that.
And anyhow, him and I got to be friends through Mike that night. And he's one that goes, hey man, that's John Karabi. And then all the people around us said, oh yeah, John Karabi.
So they go up there and they get his autograph. I have him autographed my tour book. And I look down and it's a Motley tour book. And I look down and I'm like, it doesn't say John Karabi. And that is not John Karabi.
Actually, it was Kenny Hickey of Type O negative, the guitarist. And he didn't say a word about not being John Karabi. He just signed his own name to the tour books and the tickets and left it alone. Wasn't that funny?
He didn't give a shit. Everyone loved him. But I bet the people didn't even notice.
Most of them did not. I mean, John Karabi had a little bit of a goatee or one of those, I forgot what they call them, where it's just the bottom. Maybe a Van Gogh or something like that.
Anyhow, this guy didn't have one. I mean, to me that would have been the first one. Anyhow, maybe everybody thought he shaved it off for the show or something. I don't know.
But anyhow, he just went with it and he was pleasant and really nice. And he signed everybody's autograph. He signed his real name. And at least the people that were in line right there getting his autographs with me and Bob or Bill or whatever, thought it was John Karabi.
Well, I didn't. But everyone else thought it was John Karabi. And they thought they got his signature.
I met you a lot when John Karabi came out to sing. And you look back there and that guy's still there like, who the fuck was that guy?
Because he stayed the whole concert. He sat there and he watched it and he was having a good time.
Yeah, my friend Mike just reminded me of that. And I was just like, oh my God, that was a great one. I mean, that was like one of those ones where like, oh no, you're like sheep, man. I was just following everyone else saying, hey, that's John Karabi. And I'm like, I'm lit. You know, I had a few pops in me and this and that.
Yeah. Okay. Not once did I think he's going to go on stage in 10 minutes. That's not him. I just said, oh, okay, it's John Karabi. I better go get his autograph. I better go say hi. So anyhow. All right.
All right, Rob.
Anyhow, that was my weird little story that someone reminded me of. And, and anyhow, you got something you want to get to here?
Yeah. Actually, I'm going to stay on music. So this may be a weird douchebag. It might be douchebag slash music creeps. Who knows?
Well, that's kind of the way I envisioned it because we're not going to music creeps because Topher has his hands full for a few weeks and he's not going to be able to do it. So we could just kind of, you know, we could kind of do a little hybrid. So go ahead.
I got, I got one here. This is a list of country music stars that announced their farewell in 2024.
That sounds cool with me.
All right. First up, we have the Oak Ridge boys.
Nice.
Well, their main reason is their singer, Joe Bonzel died in July at the age of 76. And they're all getting up there in age. Yeah.
Yeah, true.
Okay. Next was the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Fishing in the dark and they had a lot of hits over the years.
Some of them even hit the pop charts.
Yeah, yeah, they had a long history of hits and a lot of them were on kind of pop-ish. They hit mainstream.
I mean, they're kind of pop-ish, but they hit the mainstream, the regular charts. Yeah.
And then at the age of 82, Mr. Lee Greenwood.
I agree with that.
Known for God Bless the USA.
He's awesome. He was awesome.
And after him, we have Alan Jackson.
Oh, yeah. Man, he, he's not thought of very much anymore. You're right.
Yeah, he, he's 65 now, you know.
So he's been slowing down for quite a while.
Well, yeah.
He says here he's currently booked for 10 dates running through May 17, 2025.
Wow.
Alan Jackson is still playing then. Okay, that's good.
And I know he's getting up there because, gosh, he's been, he was around during that Young Country deal in the 90s.
Remember? Yeah. Rocked up the grunge.
And then the glam went to country and they called it Young Country.
Matter of fact, Q104 changed to Young Country. Remember that? Right. Yeah.
They were like all the rage and he was a part of that, if I remember correctly.
Yeah, he was. And actually, the next one was from that era also. Okay.
John Michael Montgomery.
Oh, wow. Yeah, yeah. He was a part of that. Okay.
Known for songs like Life's a Dance. Yeah.
I Swear. Oh, yeah.
A lot of good hits by him.
This is interesting because I am not a huge country music fan. I like Bluegrass and Western.
But everyone you're naming, I know who you're talking about and I know a lot of their songs.
So this is pretty cool. I'm like able to keep up with you and know what you're talking about.
Yeah, yeah. Our next one, I know you know, a lot of people know this gentleman. Ray Stevens.
Oh, yeah. Of course. Of course. Yeah. He's a legend. Yeah. Awesome.
Yep. He finally hung up his boots. And finally, we have Duck Stone.
He had a few hits back in the early 90s.
Okay, you got me on that one.
Yeah. He had a few hits back in the early 90s along with them too.
Okay. I love that list, Rob. Love it. Yeah.
Oh, I have a retraction to make real quick. My neon fuck-off sign is not dead. It's alive and well.
It seems that the outlet that I had it plugged into was having some issues.
I took and I plugged it into another outlet and there she is, beautiful as hell. Fuck off.
So she is not a fallen soldier. She is actually doing very well.
And she's telling everyone to fuck off right now with her bright, pretty blue light.
Good deal. Good deal. That's good to hear, my friend.
Along with my new Duck Blind Studio sign. And if anybody wants to see it, I did post it on two douche bags and a microphone.
Facebook page. Facebook page. Yeah. Cool. Yeah. It's a nice looking sign and the Duck Blind Studio is in it.
And what? It's handmade.
Yeah, I could tell. It's beautiful. They did a good job on it. And this, like I said, I'm still customizing mine here.
The Talk is Cheap Studio. I'm doing, I think I told this on the last douche bags, but I'm getting old concert stub tickets and I'm printing them out.
I'm going to have a wall that's just nothing but old concert tickets plastered on there.
And I think it's going to be pretty cool and kind of fitting to what we do here. So.
And also another cool thing is for my Flying V guitar, I finally broke down and I've got a wireless cord to where I can take the guitar and go anywhere in the house and play it.
And it will play through my amp. And so what it is is a transmitter that you hook to your guitar that you would normally put, you know, that you put the cord in and then where the cord would normally go into the amp, you're putting a receiver.
And so it's going to be pretty cool because it's going to make it easier to practice and do stuff like that because I'm kind of limited in my room with all the stuff that I have in here.
And so it's going to be pretty cool because I'll have the freedom to even sit on the couch in the living room and play if I want to, if I have the amp up enough.
So I'm going to be able to practice much better with this. And Topher's one that told me that, hey, you know, they're relatively cheap and you can get them, you know, Amazon or something like that.
So, hey, I got one coming, but it's going to take a couple of weeks because they are on backorder because probably Christmas.
I bet a lot of people bought, you know, guitar players that for Christmas, I bet. So, okay, let's stay on the music theme for right now.
And then later on, I got like a nuclear fallout punk bunkers and they have new posh ones that I'll tell you about.
But yeah, that's fine. I got I got some more music stuff I could talk about, too. Okay. Let's keep the road.
All right. Well, we're all was fans here. You know, me and David went to the boss concert in Wichita and you know, Blackie Lawless, he told a very interesting story a couple of weeks ago.
This is right after I got back from the concert. I read it. I'm like, okay, because Blackie talking, you can tell he's pretty intelligent.
Okay. He's not like one of these guys are just like, yeah, we party and stuff like that. He's he's well thought of.
He's calculated. He used to be a major league pitcher for a while. I mean, he is very accomplished guy.
So Metal Edges Matt Wake recently spoke at linked with Wasp, May Man, Blackie, Blackie Lawless.
And during the course of the conversation, the front man went in deep about the surprise and origins of his band's legendary 1984 anthem.
I want to be somebody. He was asked by Wake about the origins of the song.
Lawless replied it was from the Barney Miller TV show.
There was a character, Wrong Glass Played, the part of the Detective Harris, and it was from an episode.
Okay. Where where you forgot the guy's name, but he's writing books and stuff and trying to get big.
The character name, but they they weren't sure it was a chicken pox or smallpox.
So they had to be quarantined over the course of an evening.
And he's sleeping in the squad room on one of the cots.
And he's having this dream about wanting to be a famous author and having a big stock portfolio.
And he's talking out loud in his sleep. And finally, at the end of the thing, he goes, God, I want to be somebody.
And the way he said it is pretty much the way I say it in the song, said Blackie.
It's really not that much different.
But when I heard it, I had already been working on music for what would be the song.
And when I heard that, it really struck me.
And I thought a lot of people have got to feel like that, like he did.
You know, he wants to be somebody connected with him.
Lawless continued. I've since heard it said in a number of different ways from different people,
but never quite like I heard him say it that night.
And it was an urgency in his voice and the way he said it.
So we just put a backseat behind, a backbeat behind it, not a backseat.
I mean, musically, I think we've done stuff that far surpasses it.
But it's not always just that. It's the sentiment in the song and the idea of the song.
Yeah, I know that he did all these other songs and concept albums and compositions and stuff.
But to me, still, that is the song that he did.
That is the best song that he's ever done, according to what I like.
Now, he would argue and go, you know, pride maybe something off the Crimson Idol, maybe something else later on.
You know, he's looking at it from a musician standpoint.
I'm looking at it from a fan standpoint.
And I say that song is the best one he ever did.
And he has a lot of other good songs.
But to me, that was like the apex of what he done.
What do you think, Rob?
I mean, I know there's Wild Child and a bunch of other ones.
But to me, I thought that that was the...
No, I totally agree.
Cool.
I want to be somebody.
When you were a young man like we were, it reached out and touched you.
It did.
Did you actually listen to it?
It did. I agree.
And it wasn't just the force behind the music.
It wasn't the catchy hook in the song.
It wasn't being an anthem with aggression.
It connected with you by saying, I want to be somebody, be somebody too.
And it's true because back then we all had aspirations of something that we ended up, you know,
nothing like we ended up doing in life.
We knew we were going to be better than Jess and Jim.
Yeah, but we didn't know how much better.
So we were aiming for the sky.
And well, you know, maybe I could have done it.
Maybe I couldn't have. Maybe you could have done it.
Maybe you couldn't have.
We don't know because I'm not unhappy with the way my life path took.
I mean, I'm comfortable and happy and doing well.
So I don't really have anything to complain about at all.
As a matter of fact, I have a lot to be thankful for.
But at the time, those lyrics meant something to us being young men
and trying to figure out our way in life and what we want to do.
You know, when life was much simpler, you know, when we were just like, you know,
looking for the next party, trying to find a chick to hook up with,
trying to get the right hairstyle, trying to get the right clothes.
And I saw Ozzy had a pair of red boots.
Need a pair of red boots? Why? Because Ozzy has them.
You know, it was a much simpler day.
And, you know, of course I outgrew that part of it.
But I never outgrew what I loved when I was a child or teenager.
My likes expanded, but the ones I used to like did not go away.
I know a lot of people, the stuff they used to like went away when they expanded their likes.
You know what I mean? They expand their universe by finding out new stuff.
You know, like I started getting into bluegrass and jazz and stuff like that.
A lot of people I know that did that kind of denied their past.
And you know what I mean? They're kind of like, yeah, I used to like that, but man, I kind of outgrew it.
I've never been like that. I've always been true to what I liked back then, and I still like it now.
I may not like some of it. Some of the real cheesy stuff, no, it just does not connect with me.
But most of it, like wasp and stuff like that, still connects with me.
So anyhow, shall we take our first break and then we're going to come right back with something you want to talk about? Sound good?
Alright, sounds good to me.
That's what we'll do then.
And now, Deep Thoughts with Mark.
Should I throw away all my socks, then only buy 30 pair of one kind of sock?
Will they eventually not match up?
I may never know.
Have you ever wondered where something came about?
Have you ever looked at something and said, hey, I wonder what the origin of that is?
Well, so have we.
That's why we give you The Origin of...
The Origin of the Goatee.
The Goatee is a beard style that dates back to ancient Greece and Rome, and is named for its resemblance to a goat's beard.
The Goatee has been worn by many famous men throughout history, including Uncle Sam, Henry M. Hoyt, and Mr. Spock.
The gob ham was often depicted with a goatee, and in medieval and Roman times, it was often used as a symbol of a goat's beard.
And in medieval and Renaissance art, Satan was depicted with a goatee as well.
The goatee became popular again in the 1940s as a defining trait of the beatniks and jazz musicians.
It fell out of favor again in the 1960s, but became fashionable again in the 1990s and 2000s.
The term goatee originated in the late 20th century. It was originally called a goatee.
You watched the news. It was grim.
Is an apocalypse inevitable? We suggest you download all our podcasts beforehand and have multiple mobile chargers.
We have The Host Apocalypse.
Stuck up on pantyhose, the hose can be used to filter sediments out of water in any type of stew or soup that requires natural ingredients.
The material is also great to cover unprotected areas of skin. You can rub citronella or other compounds on the hose to detract insect bites.
It could also be used for a nice window net. The hose can be rolled together, and a form of durable, strong rope can be used out of this.
Two dish bags and microphone in an effort to keep everything fresh.
We offer you first world problems.
Damn it! I can't decide between nachos, chili, or wings for the game tonight.
This is bullshit. I should not have to make decisions like this.
Rob is in Camden, Missouri, about two and a half hours to the south of me.
This is Two Dish Bags and Microphone, like I said, and I am Mark.
And I am Rob.
Rob, you said you had something you wanted to talk about, so let's go to you.
Yeah, I do. Like before, well actually on the last Music Creeps, I had sent you in a list that you did not have time to get to.
Well actually it never came through. My email is screwed up again. Both of them. The one for douche bags and mine. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing, but anyhow.
Go ahead, you have them now, so go ahead.
Yeah, I've got that list right here.
That sounds good.
And I'm sorry Tulsa King, I tried to hold it to seven, I could not. It's ten.
And he had an email in there I never did get a chance to read, and I've got to figure out what's wrong with it. If not, Ronnie, send it back, Tulsa King, resend what you did if you can.
Anyhow, go ahead.
Okay, this is my top list of concept albums.
Okay, cool.
Okay. Number ten, I have the Downward Spiral by Nine Inch Nails, 1994.
I guess that was a concept album. I mean, you know, he's talking about periods in his life that were horrible.
Yeah.
I never really thought about like that before, but yeah, okay.
Yeah. Number nine, I have Quadrophenia by The Who, 1973.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, everyone's talking about Tommy and Quadrophenia was a hell of a concept album, I agree with you.
Anyhow, go ahead.
Yeah, it was. At number eight, I have The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust, David Bowie, 1972.
Yeah, yeah, boy, that was a good one, wasn't it?
For the time it was, it was trippy.
Yeah, it's not usually his type of music is not my main thing, it never has been, but that album in particular was written so brilliantly and the lyrics and what he's talking about going to Ziggy Stardust and all that, you know.
Yeah.
Yeah, I agree.
Okay, at number seven, I have Zicke's A Brit by Jethro Tull, 1972.
That's one of the great albums that does not get enough credit, would you agree?
Yes, there was a lot of good music on that one.
Yeah, that's where they really came up with it.
Other than.
Oh, go ahead. Other than what?
Other than the title song, Zicke's A Brit.
Yeah, there was a lot of good music.
That is supposed to all be one song, actually, did you know that?
Yeah, yeah, I have heard that. I have heard that.
I did an article on it, but I mean, I know they have different titles in there, but they say it's all one song.
So, anyhow.
Well, yeah, I mean, I, until I heard that, I always thought it was a whole album, you know.
Well, it is a whole album.
And I mean, I guess I see where they're saying that, but here's one of the problems is when that album came out in 72,
there was nothing that played all the way through.
Yeah.
So how can, you know, it had to be split up and only when CDs came out,
could they, you know, because tapes, she had to turn over eight track cassette tapes.
You had to turn them over and go to side two. CDs never had a side two. They were all on one disc.
And until then, the two sides were separated. So the song was separated. I mean, anyhow.
I mean, they say it's one song, me, I don't know, you know, but go ahead.
Number six, The Wall, Pink Floyd.
Yeah. That has so many different angles to it and so many different facets that they go down.
It's really hard to keep track of all the subtitles going in the main title. Is that a good way to say it?
Yeah, that's a very good way to say that. Yes.
Yeah. It is just segmented and all over scattered, but it goes one place.
Anyhow, pain, hurt, what have you.
Yeah. Okay. Number five, Tommy, The Who.
Yeah.
1969.
That's a good one.
Yeah. It's a classic.
Yeah, it is. They even did a movie.
Yeah, they did.
Now, the movie is, I will never get that ever. I watched it several times.
It was weird. Yeah, it was weird.
Yeah. I think the best part was Tina Turner shaking her ass. That was the best part of that whole movie.
That was nice. That was nice. The rest of it?
Yes, it was.
Anyhow, go ahead.
Okay. Number four, Dark Side of the Moon, Pink Floyd.
73.
Yeah. A lot of great songs came off of that thing. My gosh.
That's what David Gilmore was just writing, this incredible music.
Yep. Okay. Coming in, number three. Seventh Son of the Seventh Son, Iron Maiden.
Yeah.
88.
I mean, after Paul D'Aono left the band and sans the Blaise Bailey stuff in the middle when Bruce quit to go, you know, fly an airplane,
all the stuff they did with Bruce Dickinson had been concept albums. Every one of them.
Like Power Slave. They were all taken from A Point in Time.
Right.
And that's what they were all about, the whole album. So they were all concept albums.
The Seventh Son of the Seventh Son is really good because it touches on so many broad different aspects, from religion to love to everything.
I mean, it's good.
Okay. And my number two, and I'm sure Topher's going to appreciate this one.
Okay.
Welcome to my nightmare, Alice Cooper.
I would agree. But I would put another Alice Cooper one there instead. Do you want to know what it is?
What would it be?
From the Inside.
Okay.
That's a concept album, definitely. He came out of the loony bin. He came out of there.
Yes, he did. Okay.
For heavy drinking. Every song on that album is about someone that he met in the insane asylum, including his own issues.
Like How You Gonna See Me Now. We covered that not too long ago. You know, that's a song.
Yeah.
How's his wife going to see him not messed up? She's still going to love him.
After everything had happened, going to the loony bin, everything that he'd done. It's a very powerful ballad.
But to me, I think that album is a better concept album than Welcome to My Nightmare. But Welcome to My Nightmare is great too.
Okay. I didn't even think about that.
He was established himself as a solo artist actually at that time anyhow.
So I think that's why he wanted to do an album like that. You know, to kind of go, okay, that old Alice Cooper stuff, you know, he owned the name.
He got the name and everything. That old band, I forgot what they called themselves, like the Alice Cooper Experience or something like that.
And he took the name Alice Cooper. And so when he did that, he tried to differentiate his himself from the other old band.
And he did it very well with that.
Okay. Well, you changed my mind. I'm going to agree with you. You're right. You're right.
That's okay. It's a very fun. It's a forgotten album. It is a forgotten album. People don't really remember it.
Yeah.
Yeah. Anyhow, nothing wrong with Welcome to My Nightmare. But okay, we're going to go ahead and insert from the inside.
Yeah.
All right. I'm good with that. I'm anxious to hear it.
Okay. My number one goes to Rush for 2112.
Very cool. I'm surprised that mine crime isn't on there.
I like 2112.
Oh, no, no, no. Not for number one.
Oh.
It wasn't on your list. I was kind of surprised by that. But you know what? It may not be everybody's cup of tea.
Cool. 2112 is awesome. 2112 is one of the best albums Rush ever done. Could be the best album they've ever done. It depends on your taste.
But yeah, the sound that they had, Geddy Lee with his vocals at that time. I get it.
Wow. Thank you, man. Very cool.
All right.
I said something about nuclear fallout buttons, bunkers, not buttons, with posh amenities. We here at 2 Douchebag Central have informed you all of the old Minuteman nuclear underground launch pads.
We're a thing, right? Is all the rage? So, you know, they Airbnb them out and they're posh and they're beautiful and people go underground for a night in those old Minuteman silos. It's a great idea.
People have been buying them and refurbishing them. So now all the rage are nuclear fallout bunkers.
But not just a nuclear safe place, but a posh bunker with its own power source, assuming the nuclear blast doesn't destroy the advanced solar and wind power generators on the outside of it.
That's the only problem is that right there. If a blast is far enough away to where it doesn't interfere with that, in that fallout bunker, you're going to have power.
Because they design systems, geothermal, wind and solar all put together to power this this thing, this nuclear fallout bunker.
So it is designed to have power and keep your way of living post nuclear. So a man in western Kansas who he doesn't wish to be identified has exactly this.
Okay, we'll call him SP. Okay, just so we can describe this well. SP is posh nuclear bunker has an elevator to his underground garage, whereas nuclear Holocaust car sits and waits completely.
Waits complete with a tank reserve next to the reserve petroleum tank. There is a tank of propane for heating and other uses, but it's not just one tank. There's several tanks.
So, okay, so all that. So you have an elevator, you have an underground garage that actually goes down the road a bit comes out the hatch.
I didn't describe it correctly and I apologize. I kind of skipped over that at first. So it's kind of almost like, you know, how the Batmobile comes out of the cave that nobody knows, right?
Well, this is like a spider hole. I saw the video and this is like a spider hole that this car comes out of. And I didn't get a really good look at the car but I think it might.
I don't think it might have. It's a gas operating car. I do know that because he has petroleum units. I thought he would have had an electric car, but maybe he does that too. But anyhow, now let's check on the living quarters.
Okay. The living room has a large brick fireplace. Actually, I think it might be. I think it was a BMW that he had. But anyhow, the living room has a large brick fireplace with a ventilation system.
A large 88 inch flat screen TV that's complete with a music surround sound system with at least a hundred thousand song playlist.
There it was. Echo in there. Yeah, that'd be awesome. You want to talk about surround sound. You can look this up. You can look up Posh Bunker Western Kansas and you can probably get this guy.
Alright. SP developed his own TV stations for his use. He has a comedy channel with hundreds of hours of comedy, a sitcom channel with hundreds of hours of sitcoms, and a movie channel with hundreds of hours of movies. These are his own TV stations that he designed that play in that bunker.
Next to the living room is a 10 table bar pub. He calls his pub the radioactive spot. This pub actually is equipped to serve drinks. He calls it radioactive spot. They glow. The drinks glow or look radioactive.
He was serving these drinks that glow. That's kind of like the radioactive pub. He's in this bunker because of a nuclear holocaust. He has a sense of humor. I like this.
So anyhow, the kitchen, this is most modern kitchen available with a flat top grill. That's like a real grill, like one that you would find at a steakhouse or something like that. A flat top grill, a wok station, an iron skillet burner, and a six foot tall spice rack, and a built in monitor that gives recipes instructions while you're cooking.
Is that cool? Yeah, that is cool. Alright, how do I make chicken ala mer? Okay, let's put that in.
So, you know, he puts in chicken ala mer and it gives him the recipe and he starts making it. Bedroom is large with a king size therapeutic bed with two massage chairs in the corner and mahogany wood dressers and a life size bronze statue of President Eisenhower who grew up not real far away.
Eisenhower actually is in his military uniform when he was a general and not the president. Finally, one needs an entertainment center which is located below the main corridor stairs and an elevator are equipped to get you there so it's right below the main corridors.
SP has his own five car bumper track, bumper car track. A batting cage with a baseball diamond to boot. And finally, one would need an arcade which has with Xbox's, Nintendo's, stand up tabletop arcade machines, foosball, pinball machines, tabletop hockey, everything.
SP joked and said every tornado season he gets to try his bunker out and he lives in western Kansas. So there you go. Look it up if you have any other anything. I mean, I can't do it justice describing it.
It sounds like the only other thing it needs would be a bowling alley. It didn't say anything about bowling alley so maybe he's not a fan of bowling or I could have one for all I know. I just did not see that article.
Anyhow, wow. Yeah, that guy put a lot of thought into it. And the way the article, it was a long article and I had to narrow it all down so it was kind of choppy and I apologized because the place I was writing it out was very loud.
So anyhow, so I think that this guy doesn't plan on using it and he just goes there every now and then or he has his friends come down. It's kind of like a man cave really.
The guy made his fortune in aeronautics he said and that's where Kansas where a lot of aeronautics, you know, bowling and all that come from. So anyhow, he definitely has money to do this and it's really cool I think.
So, all right, should we take our second break and come back with something? Yeah, if you want to. Let's do it.
I think we found land. Oh my god, I think we're safe.
Oh no, it's the island of horrible jokes.
Elevator music is horrible.
On so many levels.
Hi, all. This is Mark here. I'm usually the one telling you what to eat during an apocalypse.
Well, this time I decided to go the other way.
You ever considered just going to ground zero and saying fuck it. Do you really want to be the guy running around looking for radioactive deer, guessing whether water is not contaminated or not. No food, no shelter, no nothing.
Oh no, there's a strong argument that says you know what, let's just go to crown zero and see what's for us after.
Just a thought.
Harambe used to listen to our original show, Two Dip Shits and a Cheap Radio Shack Realistic Tape Recorder.
You might ask why Harambe never listens to our original show, Two Dip Shits and a Cheap Radio Shack Realistic Tape Recorder.
Well, it's because Harambe is dead.
Senselessly murdered because some idiot did not watch her child properly while looking on her phone.
And sadly, Harambe does not listen to our original show, Two Dip Shits and the Cheap Radio Shack Realistic Tape Recorder or any other show anymore.
Sorry Harambe.
And that, the brand new feature, Strange Insults from an Alien.
May you always step in a wet spot after putting on fresh socks.
Your mama's so old, she walked out of the museum and the alarm went off.
Hey there, fuckstick. You're just in time for brand new feature news nobody gives a shit about.
In Toledo, Mississippi, a structural steel company built a small bridge to go over a pothole that had been on the road for three years.
Next up, Things Overheard in Hell.
The 24-7 Jerry Lewis Telephone is coming right up.
Tomorrow morning while grinding your coffee beans for your double mocha latte, remember to not get your genitals caught in a grinder.
It really hurts. Who can afford plastic surgery?
Stay safe everyone.
Our constant pursuit for a real knee slapper. It's Strange Insults from an Alien. Real hilarity.
May your five-year-old neighbor have all their violin lessons during all of your hangovers.
Two douchebags and micr... microphone. I can't talk tonight. Well you know what, I can't talk any night.
Let's start this over. Okay, let's act like I didn't say anything.
Two douchebags and microphone. The Center of the United States. Phenom. I'm Mark.
And I'm Rob.
Rob, be my guest.
Well, I actually learned something today.
And I thought it was a joke when I was scrolling through it. I read it.
Uh-huh.
The title says Biden signs bill officially anointing bald eagle as national bird of U.S.
I thought it was.
The bald eagle, a symbol of the power and strength of the United States for more than 240 years, earned an overdue honor on Tuesday.
It officially became the country's national bird.
President Joe Biden signed into law legislation sent to him by Congress that amends the United States code to correct what they had long gone unnoticed
and designate the bald eagle familiar to many because of its white head, yellow beak, brown body as a national bird.
The bald eagle has appeared on the great seal of the United States, which is used in official document at 1782 when the design was finalized.
The seal is made up of the eagle, olive branch, arrows, a flag-like shield, the motto E pluribus unum, and topless stars.
Congress that same year designated the bald eagle as national emblem, and the image appears in a host of places ranging from documents and the presidential flag to military insignia and U.S. currency.
Uh-huh.
But it had never been officially designated to be what many had just assumed it was, the national bird.
I learned something too, Rob. I thought it was the national bird.
Yeah.
Wow. That is not common knowledge.
No. I've always been told it was the national bird.
Me too. I mean, I'm pretty sure.
But it wasn't.
Pretty sure it was.
It was just the emblem.
Wow. I'm pretty sure school taught that, don't you think?
Pretty sure I found that out in school.
Yeah. Yeah, they did.
Wow.
Hey, Joe Biden did something good.
Who'd a thunk?
Yeah.
Wow. That's cool.
Well, I'm glad it's our national bird, even though I was thinking it was all these years anyhow.
So.
Well, yeah.
Now we know.
The May 10th solar storm exposed a critical vulnerability in this high-tech, highly precise system.
Geometric storms, also known as solar storms, are disturbances to the Earth's magnetic field caused by large expulsions of plasma and magnetic fields from the sun's atmosphere in the form of coronal mass ejections.
CMEs.
During a powerful solar storm like the one experienced in May 2024 Earth's ion sphere, the layer responsible for transmitting GPS signals and satellites to Earth becomes disrupted.
The layer becomes turbulent, distorting radio signals from GPS satellites, causing tractors and harvesters to lose their connections or worse, veer off course.
Our tractors acted like they were demon possessed, Ramstad recalls.
All my cousins called me during the storm to say my auroras were driving them crazy while they were planning.
Tractors unable to maintain GPS locks lurched back and forth, forcing farmers to switch to manual controls or stop entirely.
And it wasn't an isolated event. Smaller solar storms in October classified as G3 and G4 events caused similar issues during the harvest season.
Ramstad experienced the effect of a strong solar storm again in October 6 when her tractor started acting up.
As a aura activity began, my GPS was off by close to a foot.
Twice while on auto steer, the tractor danced in a row off and to the left and to the right and then the defoliator was off a row.
So I had to loop around and start over. By nightfall, there was no control in the auto steer, Ramstad reported.
So Ramstad wasn't the only one to experience problems during the October solar storms.
This fall was my first time I got to see the aurora and they're talking about the northern lights when they're saying aurora.
And my hair was standing on end from the beauty. Indiana farmer Michael Spencer told SpaceWeather.com,
When the storms were strongest around October 7, my tractor's auto steer system would jump the line,
meaning the tractor would make a quick jolt to left or right and I would have to manually reset it.
Farmers can expect more frequent disruptions as solar activity continues, remain high during solar maximum,
a period of heightened activity during the sun's approximately 11 year solar cycle.
So you can see the northern lights a lot more coming up and you can see them all the way from Florida as far as they know and maybe even Mexico.
So Missouri is definitely in that belt.
While extreme G5 storms like the one in May 10, 2024 are rare, even modern G3 and G4 events can cause significant problems for farmers.
This means planted field work around solar activity and being prepared for unexpected delays.
Economic implications are serious. Delays in planting or harvesting can lead to lower yields while recalibrating or repairing GPS systems.
It adds financial strain during an already tight profit margin.
So I guess maybe you're in another city, right?
Okay. Yeah. And you have the place, the hotel in your GPS, right?
And all of a sudden it tells you to go in the left lane. Then it tells you to go in the right lane.
Then it tells you to back up. Do you see how that could really fuck things up on a freeway?
Yeah. Especially the ladder.
Yeah. Look, I mean, people reading GPS's don't drive worth a shit anyhow.
You can tell. You know, whenever you see somebody weaving bad, it's a different type of weave when they're looking at their GPS because they keep pumping the brakes.
It's like, oh, no, no, no, it says 800 foot. Oh, no, no, no, no, it's still 200 foot. You're not there yet.
But what about this one? Oh, no, it says next left. So you're pumping the brakes.
I can tell that you could tell someone on their phone from a drunk driver because the phone, they slow down, they weave, then they speed up, they weave, and then they slow down.
And we, you know what I mean? There are certain patterns.
People reading the GPS are already horrible drivers. So anyhow, that might affect that for sure.
So Rob, go ahead.
Okay. Hey, did I tell you that they may have figured out who D.B. Cooper really is?
No, this will be interesting.
The famous skyjacker?
Yeah.
The identity of the infamous skyjacker D.B. Cooper, who vanished after parachuting from a hijacked plane in 1971, may finally be revealed.
Siblings Shante and Richard McCoy III have discovered a parachute on their family property in North Carolina, which they believe was used by their father, Richard McCoy II, in the notorious skyjacking.
The siblings have long suspected their father, a convicted skyjacker, was D.B. Cooper due to the striking similarities between his crime and the unsolved case.
Okay.
Richard McCoy II was arrested five months after the Cooper incident for committing a similar skyjacking involving a parachute jump.
He later escaped from jail and was killed in a police shootout.
Oh, wow.
Despite the parallels, the FBI initially dismissed McCoy as a suspect due to his age.
He was 27 at the time of this Cooper hijacking, while Cooper was described to be as being in his mid-40s.
Okay.
The siblings waited until their mother's death to stir their suspicions, as they believed she may have been complicit in the crimes.
They reached out to Dan Greider, a retired pilot and aviation expert, who has been documenting his research for D.B. Cooper on his YouTube channel.
If there was anybody on the planet that was qualified to step off the steps of that 727, it was Richard Floyd McCoy.
The discovery of the parachute has prompted the FBI to reopen the case, which was closed in 2016.
Greider revealed that the FBI is now attempting to match DNA samples and has requested to assume the body of Richard Floyd McCoy.
If the DNA matches, this could finally solve the only unsolved skyjacking in U.S. history.
Wow.
So we may finally find out who D.B. Cooper actually was.
And the parachute is in the FBI's hands.
And they got...
I've been actually kind of secretly following this.
Uh-huh.
I read about it when they first found it.
Okay.
But it had been handed over to the FBI, and the FBI was just sitting on it.
Well, now the FBI is stepping up, and they're running the tests and everything else.
Okay. They must be pretty convinced.
Okay. I've got a question. You mentioned they're going to exhume the body.
Is this for DNA evidence?
Yes.
Okay. Well, that's how they'll really get it. That's where they'll really get an affirmative right there.
Everything else could be viewed as circumstantial.
DNA will be solid, so they could definitely solve this thing.
Wow.
Well, also during the hijacking...
Uh-huh.
He let, I believe it's tie on the plane.
Oh, okay.
Yeah. There was a little more evidence than just this parachute.
Okay.
So they'll be able to match the DNA off the tie for the parachute.
Very cool, man. I mean, this is...
You know, a lot of people don't follow stuff like this, but you and I do, right?
This is significant.
Right.
I mean, like you said, this has been going on forever about people not knowing who D.B. Cooper was.
So now you'll have an affirmative if it is. I think that's cooler than hell.
So thank you, Rob.
Yeah. And like I said, this is one I've been following.
And if I get any updates, I will let you know.
Awesome.
I got something here now.
You ever hear the term snowmanning?
No.
Okay. Well, snowmanning is real, and relationship experts say it's extremely unhealthy mentally,
if not physically, to practice this regularly.
Snowmanning word was coined by eHarmony Dating Service.
This means when a woman actively searches for a partner during the holiday season so they won't be alone during the festive time of the year.
The term is called snowmanning because as soon as the snowman melts, so does the feelings for the person.
Relationship experts think this practice could lead to hurt feelings and even emotional distress and unrealistic views of couples.
Then even some cases, sexually transmitted infections.
They don't call it diseases anymore. They call it STDs. They call it STIs, infections.
There is also another slight variation of this behavior, and it's referred to as sledging.
This term means to drag someone through the snow on an alleged relationship and stop when the snow melts.
There is also the winter coating trend.
This is winter coating, like coating a paint trend in which people reach out to old flames in the winter, much like they would an old coat.
You know, I think we all used to call this an arrangement, and it was usually consensual,
and it really was an understanding between two parties involved.
The last part of it, you know, the winter coating, right?
I don't fully remember situations like that.
Back in my single days, a woman I used to know would go, you know what, we don't have anything going on right now, so you know, we don't hate each other.
I don't know. I always thought that those things were kind of like an arrangement, but maybe not.
So anyhow, the winter coating part of it. The rest of it, the snowmaning and all that, I don't know.
Interesting, though.
So, do you want to go to the best guitar duos like we've been talking about?
Yeah, sounds good. I'm ready.
All right. Do you want to go fourth, or do you want me to go fourth first? Doesn't matter.
I'll go first. Don't bother me.
All right. Go ahead, Rob.
Okay. My number seven. Alan Collins and Gary Rosenton of Leonard Skinner.
Leonard Skinner, yeah. Wow.
I should have had them on mine, and to be honest, I forgot all about them, and I don't know why.
I've always been a huge Skinner fan.
Those were the two song composition guys, if you will. So, yeah.
Okay. At number six, I have Don Felder and Joe Walsh of the Eagles.
Oh. You're going back a little ways on that one, and I agree with you.
Those were the Helva writing pair, wasn't it?
Yes, they were.
Wow. Cool.
And I'm staying back a ways on number five.
Okay.
Dwayne Allman and Dicky Betts of the Allman Brothers.
Oh, Allman Brothers, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Did you hear about the Allman Brothers curse, by the way?
Yeah, I have.
Okay. We'll go into that next, not next, on this podcast, but in a podcast coming up, or maybe in the Music Creeps.
I read up on it, and there was some significant shit that went on. It's called the Allman Brothers curse. Anyhow, go ahead, Rob.
Okay. At number four, I have Ace Freelian, Paul Stanley of Kiss.
We doubled on that one.
I figured we would. I figured we would.
Yep.
We have always agreed on those two.
Their writing was magic. Simply put, it was magic, I'll tell you.
Those two went hand in hand, and it was so brilliant writing their riffs and songs. Anyhow.
Okay. At number three, Phil Collin and Steve Clark of Def Leppard.
Yeah, and I'm glad you put in Steve Clark, and not Vivian Campbell or Pete Way, was it? Wasted Pete Way, I think, or something like that?
Something like that, yeah.
Phil Collin and Steve Clark were the meat and potatoes of that band, and they wrote the classic hits.
Yeah.
Excellent, yeah.
Go ahead.
Steve Clark was very underrated. Very underrated.
Well, in one of the songs, he says, come on, Steve, do it.
Do it, yes, he does.
You know.
Yep. Yeah, Steve was a great songwriter. Sounded good. He never got the, while he was alive, he never got the kadoos for being such a good guitarist.
Actually, Phil Collin doesn't get a lot of it either. So, anyhow.
No, no.
Phil Collin did.
But look at all the hits they put out.
I've seen them on this thing called Generation X, and that's where five guitarists get together and tour, and they all do songs and stuff.
And that dude is a shredder, and I had no idea.
Because there's no room for it on Def Leppard, you know, it's a hard driving band, like a Zeppelin-ish.
So there's no room for all this guitar stuff. He shreds. I could not believe it.
And then he has this band called Dixie Sutton.
Anyhow, it is a soul band, and the lead singer is a black woman that is just so good at singing. I mean, she sounds like an angel.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, look it up, and then listen to the music. It's incredible. It's called like the Dixie Sledge or the Dixie, something like that.
Anyhow, crazy good stuff, and completely different.
Towns, I see. Okay, my number two, Dave Murray and Adrian Smith of Iron Maiden.
We doubled on that one.
The way they were known to switch roles.
Yeah, yeah, and as a matter of fact, they used to do this in concert. People that were really into-
Yeah, to give each other a break, they would switch with them and leave.
Yeah, and they used to screw with people too, because the real Maiden fans like me and you knew who played what.
They would switch. And then you see Adrian Smith playing something that Murray was playing.
And then Murray playing, you know what I mean? Yeah, they were that good. They sounded just like the other one when they played it. It was great. So anyhow, go ahead.
Okay, and number one, I had to go Rudolph Schenker and Matthew Schubbs of Squirtmans.
Yeah, yep. I would agree.
Yep.
Awesome. Alright.
There you have it.
Sounds good to me. Alright.
Number seven. Now, hang with me here, because this is true, what I'm about to say.
Richie Blackmore and John Lord. John Lord, I know, was a keyboardist.
Okay.
John Lord played the same things that Blackmore did. He was backing him up. He played his keyboard like a guitar.
They were a duo. And also, John Lord did solos like Richie Blackmore did during concerts.
To me, he was a guitarist.
Okay.
I mean, it's easy to see if you listen to any of the classic hits. It's Richie Blackmore and John Lord playing the same thing.
And then the bass is different. You know, Roger Glover is doing something different or whoever it was, Glenn Hughes or whoever.
So the bass was not backing the guitar. The bass was doing something else. The guitar and the organ were in concert together and then at certain times switching off.
So to me, John Lord was essentially a guitarist that played a keyboard.
So, number six.
I'll give you that one.
It's true. I mean, it's so true. Thank you. I appreciate that.
Alright, number six. Joe Perry and Brad Whitford. Aerosmith.
Okay.
They, listen to some of their stuff like Walking the Dog and stuff like that. I mean, gosh, they're just like so, I mean, they panned from each other, left to right, right to left, left to right, right to left.
I mean, they were just like, they were funky. They were heavy. They had a really good groove.
To me, they were one of the perfect pair of guitarists, of guitarists together.
Number five, Dave Murray and Adrian Smith and we just went over every day and got Iron Maiden.
I mean, really, there's nothing more to add on that. I mean, they're just fantastic.
Number four, Ace Freely and Paul Stanley, like you had. We doubled on them.
Same number even.
Yeah, yeah. Ace Freely and Paul Stanley were magic, like I said. I mean, they just, they wrote so well together. You know, I wish they'd do more music. That's never going to happen. So, anyhow.
Next, I have Slash and Izzy Stradlin.
That Appetite for Destruction album is so classic. One album gave me the thought, and I'm certain on it, at least to me, that they are one of the best guitar duos ever.
The brilliance that they came up, do what?
I was just going to add that for me, we would have had to have like a top ten list.
Oh, I could have done that easily. But they were amazing. Amazing.
Next one, and I'm surprised they weren't on your list, Angus and Malcolm Young.
Malcolm Young, he did that dirty rhythm, that nasty, nasty rhythm, while Angus had the liberty to do his magic. I mean, gosh. Angus Young is one of the guitarists, and Malcolm Young too, that will never get enough credit for what they did.
People did not view their songs as complicated or great or majestic or whatever, but their playing in that was perfect. Malcolm Young didn't overplay, and Angus didn't overplay. They played exactly what they needed to on it, and it was brilliant.
It was like someone came up to Angus and said, hey, you wrote the same album 17 times. He said, no, we didn't. We wrote it 18 times. Count again.
He didn't care. He was like, yeah, it's the same stuff. It works.
And then finally, Lester Flat and Earl Scruggs.
Ah, I didn't go back far enough.
Yeah, you know what, that's okay. Not everybody, here's the deal. Not everyone will get that. You do because you're into that.
Yeah.
I do because I'm into that. Not everybody will get that, but I had to be true, and to me, they were the best duo ever.
Yeah.
Yeah, they're just incredible. So, all right. Let's see. You got something you want to go into, Rob?
Yeah, I got one I ran across.
All right, sounds good.
In a Reddit post, a customer who goes by the handle, and I'm just going to leave it as Anastasia.
Okay.
Shared their experience at a taco bueno branch where only one employee was there to attend the customers.
Uh-huh.
On this particular day, this lone worker had to juggle taking orders over the counter, managing drive-through customers, preparing food, and handling all aspects of the operation.
Okay.
The situation escalated when it became clear the employee was scheduled to work from opening to closing a grueling 10-hour shift without support.
Damn.
The employee's frustration reached a breaking point when after serving the original poster who had intended to dine in, she reportedly said, I'm sorry, but I hope your order is to go after you. I'm leaving.
Once the customer agreed to take his food to go, the employee fulfilled the order, turned off the restaurant lights, put up a closed sign in the drive-through window, and left the premises.
She didn't rock up and shared with the customer that she planned to celebrate her freedom by getting so drunk.
Can't blame her.
No. No, I know.
Her decision to walk out sparked a heated discussion in the Reddit comments with many users expressing empathy and sharing similar experiences of being left alone demands demanding workplaces.
The post became a springboard for broader conversations about workers' rights and conditions faced by employees in the fast food industry and beyond.
The incident at Taco Bueno ignited widespread discourse about the state of working together.
Many Reddit users highlighted the systematic issues of understaffing, overworking, and underpaying employees.
One commenter observed, I heard others in line complaining about her taking too long, pointing to a lack of understanding and empathy from customers.
That sounds about right.
Yeah.
There's got to be them assholes.
Yeah. Oh yeah.
Look around, dude. She's one person.
Yeah. Yep. Wow.
We've been that person before, haven't we?
Yes, we have.
Everyone else shows up and you're like, oh fuck.
Yeah.
I have a list of sayings that people have no idea where they came from, but they're very unique sayings, but actually it's author unknown.
They don't know who started it.
It's not a really long list, but it's good. It's a good list.
So the first one is titled Ignorance is Bliss.
And whoever said it said, I don't believe there's any problem in this country, no matter how tough it is that Americans, when they roll up their sleeves, they can't completely ignore.
I've heard that before.
Yeah.
It's true.
Another one that's anonymous, but I think is fantastic is when someone asks you a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?
Huh?
Good question.
Yeah. Where is the other penny?
Yeah.
Yeah. Someone took it. Probably the government.
Taxes. Yep.
This next one I love, and I've heard it several times, if a man smiles all the time, he's probably selling you something that doesn't work.
I've heard that one.
True.
Next one. If no one knows when a person is going to die, how can we say they died prematurely?
Good point.
I love that one. Because you think about it, I guess so. No one knows your lifespan. Unless you kill yourself, then you know your lifespan.
But yeah. Wow.
Yeah.
Hard work is a misleading term. Fiscal effort and long hours do not constitute hard work. Hard work is when someone pays you to do something you'd rather not be doing.
Anytime you'd rather be doing something other than the thing you're doing, you're doing hard work.
That's right.
I've never heard that one before, but that's right.
If you're doing something you don't like...
Now, I'm weird. I'm weird. I like hard work.
No, no, no. This is work you like to do, though. What he's saying is, or she, if you're doing something you don't like, that's hard work. And I agree with that.
Okay. Okay.
Yeah. I agree. I like to do hard work as long as it's what I like to do. But anything else, I agree. The hard work is because...
Yeah. Because what might be hard for me might not be hard for you type of thing.
Exactly. So anything that you don't like to do is hard work, and I agree.
Okay. If you try to fail and succeed, which have you done? Think about that.
If you tried to fail and succeed, which have you done? Because you're trying to fail, but you succeeded. Did you fail on failing?
Yeah. I have to say you succeeded.
I'm going to say...
Feel good about yourself.
I'm going to say you failed. Here's why. You were trying to fail, but you succeeded. I think you failed. You were trying to fail, and you failed failing, and you succeeded.
Anyhow, it's a hell of an argument.
Yeah.
Yeah. So... Okay. And then this one's true, and I've heard this a lot. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot? Anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
Yep.
Yeah.
This next one I love, and this is author I know definitely. I've never heard anyone take credit for this.
The Christians gave him Sunday. The Jews gave him Saturday, and the Muslims gave him Friday. God has a three-day weekend.
That's pretty good. This next one I love, too. This is so good.
Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
Yeah.
Yep.
Okay. And the next one is true. It's not my favorite one ever, but it's true. I am, as reportedly, the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that I do is the longest sentence?
Ooh.
I know I'm laughing, but...
Yeah.
Anyhow. Well, there you go. You can take it.
It's all the stereotypes.
Yeah. So anyhow, that's good. Okay. Here's all you have to know about men and women. Women are crazy. Men are stupid. The main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
Yep.
Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. There you go. All right. That's all of them. I said there wasn't a whole lot, and that's it.
There's more of them, but quite frankly, I did not want to go over them because everyone hurt them so much. I don't think anyone really gives a shit at this point where they came from.
So anyhow, you got something, Rob?
Yeah.
Since we're coming up on the new year.
Okay.
I figured I'd come up, I'd bring out some of Nostradamus' predictions for 2025.
Ooh. I like, I like, I like.
I knew you would.
Okay. Michael Day Nostradamus, who lived in 16th century France, was so well known for his predictions of the future that his name became synonymous with the idea of prophesying future events.
Whether or not you happen to believe that any of his predictions have actually come to pass, there are still many who continue to heavily debate and scrutinize his writings to this day.
Uh-huh.
So what, what did Nostradamus have in mind for the year 2025?
In the UK in particular, Gisear predicted that there would be a double dose of trouble in the form of some sort of war and rather surprisingly a return of the plague.
The nose from the lands of Europe, see England set up her throne behind, he wrote, her flanks that will be cruel wars, the kingdom will be marked by wars so cruel, foes from within and without will arise, a great pestilence from the past returns, no enemy more deadly under the skies.
Elsewhere in the world he predicted that the great powers will clash and a disease in the imports of established Western countries and the emergence of new world powers.
On the plus side, he also predicted new breakthroughs in medical science, knowing there would be significant improvements in illness prevention and treatment.
Okay.
He also, he also suggested that a lengthy ongoing war would come to an end in 2025.
Could this be a sign that the war in Ukraine will stop?
Um, actually I do think it'll stop. I really do.
I think, I do too.
Yeah. I think they just need a new negotiator and I'm not pro anything. I just think they need somebody with a little bit more ass bone than Joe Biden. And I'm not, and I'm not saying I'm conservative or liberal or nothing.
I just think that Joe Biden did not have any guts to me.
Anyhow, go ahead.
Okay. Goes on to say through long war, all the army exhausted so that they do not find money for the soldiers. Instead of gold or silver, they will come to coin leather, Gaelic brass and the crescent sign of the moon, he wrote.
Some believe that Gaelic brass and crescent sign of the moon are references to France and Turkey.
Yeah.
Beyond 2025, Nostradamus made reference to some sort of asteroid, asteroid strike. From the cosmos, a fireball will rise. A harbinger of fate, the world bleeds. Science and fate in a cosmic dance. The fate of the earth, a second chance, he wrote.
He also predicted floods and volcanic eruptions in Brazil, as well as floods elsewhere in the world, possibly due to rising sea levels.
Oh, that's interesting.
Because there is a lot of melting going on in the polar zones, and it will add to the depth of the rising ocean. Interesting.
Yes.
And that's all they had.
Okay. Now the New World Powers, I'm kind of interested in that one.
Because the emergence of Bitcoin, suddenly you have another form of payment that could kind of take over, if you will, the systems that are going on now.
Could the new powers be something like Bitcoin?
It could be.
I mean, and there's a lot more to it, of course, but everything that he predicted there has some sort of substance behind it.
You know, the bird flu is going around and is transmitting into people now, right?
Yeah.
And he was talking about a plague-like thing, right?
It's very interesting. I mean, I hope he's wrong on most of this stuff.
But it's interesting because a lot of this stuff, I mean, if you had heard about this stuff 10 years ago, or 15 years ago, they'd go, oh, no, no, no, he's way off.
But everything that we've been through in the recent years and everything going on and everything that's happening kind of lends to,
I could see it happening. You agree?
Yeah, I can. I really can.
Interesting stuff. Thank you, Rob. Wow.
Well, do you want to keep going or are you about done?
Actually, that's about all I had tonight because I lost this one story. I don't know where it went.
Well, I got one here real quick and we can end on a little bit lighter note, OK?
All right.
OK. Every year they do a list, hotels, I think this might be Hilton or Radisson or something like that, top hotel chain, gives you a list of the top items that are left in a hotel room.
And every year it's a little bit different, which surprises me. It's not really all the time constant.
So for twenty twenty four, the number one item left in actually I'll start from number fourteen.
What the fourteen number fourteen the number one the number fourteen item left in hotel rooms are sunscreen.
No, no, no. Fourteen is false false teeth. I'm sorry.
Number thirteen is sunscreen. Number twelve is important documents.
Number eleven is credit cards. Number ten is books.
Number nine is swimwear. Number eight is glasses.
Number seven is favorite snacks. Number six is underwear.
Number five is passports. And I've got a little story to that.
We were going to go with my cousins from Canada on a cruise, a Royal Caribbean at the time.
It was Oasis of the Seas is the largest cruise ship in existence.
It was it was immaculate and huge. So it was leaving out Fort Lauderdale, right?
Well, this is about the time you start needing a passport to get on a boat.
And I'd forgotten the passport. So we're in line up there at KCI going through there.
And we're going through TSA and Val goes, did you bring the passports?
And I said, we don't need them, do we? I thought we do.
Is what she said. I call Royal Caribbean. They go, oh, yeah, yeah, you're going to need your passports for this one.
Like shit. So I'm like, you know what?
You go ahead and go, I'm going to leave. I'm going to go get our passports.
I'm going to catch another flight back, you know, just get a here's a hotel reservations, get a cab or an Uber and go straight there from the airport.
She goes, no, no, no, no. We're going to take this flight.
She said, I'm going to call my best friend, Cindy, which is Topher's wife.
I'm going to she has a key. She's going to go get the passports and overnight them to us.
Now, Val used to work for the post office, right?
And I heard horror stories about stuff not getting delivered. Right.
So if if you overnight something and it doesn't hit you overnight, you know what happens?
You just get your money back. That's it.
So Cindy went and got the passports. God bless her.
And she overnights them to us at the hotel we're staying in.
We're staying at this hotel called Ocean Sky.
So I'm sitting there, sitting there, sitting there.
And I called down to the post office and made one there. Right.
I'm like, hey, can you find something for me? And they're like, no, no, no. And don't come down here.
So the mail stopped at 12 o'clock.
They said the mail was always there by 12 o'clock.
So I'm sitting there out in front on the bench waiting for this postman to arrive,
scared to death that I'm not going to make it with my relatives on this boat, lose all the money and not see my relatives and all this stuff. OK.
So anyhow, right at about two till 12, here comes the mailman.
And I run up there and he he also takes this big envelope because what's your name?
I go, Mark Wallace. OK, here you go.
I'm like, oh, my God, it came through.
But, man, I'll tell you what, that is scary because Val told me so many stories about nothing making it and people just putting mail here and there and just being nonchalant.
I thought that we were actually going to miss the cruise because I forgot the passports.
So anyhow, number five is passports. Number four is meds.
Number three is toiletries. Number two is chargers and cords.
And number one is dirty laundry. So anyhow, there you go.
All right, Rob, do you think you want to add?
All I got for tonight, other than hi, Richie. Oh, thank you. Hi, Ricky.
Thank you very much. My wife forgot Ricky and I apologize.
Yeah, Ricky still gets a mention because he bothered to message us.
So, yes, anyhow, I let's see.
There's some I was going to say, but you know what?
I forgot what it was. So anyhow, everybody, thank you for joining us.
Good night, assholes. Good night, assholes.
Oh, no, looks like the show's over, kids.
Mark has explosive diarrhea and can't afford a wireless mic.
Fear not, assholes. They'll be back invading your ear holes soon.