And now it's time for...
The Daily Deucebag Pledge.
Here at Two Deucebags in a Microphone, we don't stand behind our journalistic integrity.
Go ahead and assume we got the story wrong. At least we admit it.
Not like all those other guys, we can and will lie if it makes the story better.
Two Deucebags and a Microphone.
We Talk.
KZ.
Our constant pursuit for a real knee-slapper. It's strange insults from an alien. Real hilarity.
May every time you put on latex gloves, your hands be wet.
Have you ever wondered where something came from? Have you ever looked at something and said,
I wonder what the origin of that is? Well so have we. That's why we give you The Origin of...
The Origin of the Goatee. The Goatee is a beard style that dates back to ancient Greece and Rome,
and is named for its resemblance to a goat's beard.
The Goatee has been worn by many famous men throughout history, including Uncle Sam, Henry M. Hoyt, and Mr. Spock.
The gob ham was often depicted with a goatee, and in medieval and renaissance art, Satan was depicted with a goatee as well.
The goatee became popular again in the 1940s as a defining trait of the beatniks and jazz musicians.
It fell out of favor again in the 1960s, but became fashionable again in the 1990s and 2000s.
The term goatee originated in the late 20th century. It was originally called a goatee.
Two douchebags and microphone in an effort to keep everything fresh. We offer you...
First world problems.
Man, my internet is so slow. This is bullshit. How am I supposed to browse or get on TikTok with slow internet?
I'm so pissed off right now. I don't know what to do.
Hey there, fuckstick. You're just in time for brand new feature news nobody gives a shit about.
An Idaho man snaps 110 pencils in one minute, beating the old world record of 80.
Hey, this is two douchebags and microphone. I'm Mark.
And I am Rob.
That's right. You guys have not got rid of us. We still are douchebags and we're still right here, aren't we?
Ain't gonna happen.
That's right. We may have a couple of other shows we're involved in, but we're still douchebags.
So any of you got your hopes up? Forget it. We're still here.
So Rob, the other day I went to go buy McRib sauce.
Yeah.
You know, you can buy it now, right? And we have a report on that later on.
I have a report on how you can buy the sauce.
The sauce was sold in half gallon containers for $19.99 at a specific website designed only to sell the sauce.
The product went on sale November 25th. And here's the deal.
I thought you could go to the store, you know, to McDonald's and buy it.
And then I found out, so like, so I find out just in time, so I get on the website November 25th, just right when it turned midnight, it was the 24th, turned into the 25th, they were already sold out.
It turns out they had a limited, yeah, they had a limited supply of this stuff.
And all the proceeds went to Ronald McDonald House, which is great.
But I never had a chance at it, I'm guessing. I mean, I was going to buy a jug.
I was going to use all the sauce and fill it with ketchup and put the cap back on and place it right next to my Chief Super Bowl wine.
That's what I was going to do. I had a plan. I'm like, you know what? I want that sauce. I want to eat the sauce. It's fucking delicious.
But I want, you should have waited so late because you think about McRib. There's a cult following. Oh, gosh, I know.
You shouldn't have waited so late, brother.
Well, no, no, no. At midnight, when it turned the 25th, I went on that website right when it started selling.
Oh, when it started selling. Okay.
Yeah, when it started selling and it was already done.
Wow.
So I think maybe the East Coast, it turned midnight, you know, before us.
I think a lot of people are there waiting to buy a jug of it. Yeah, who knows?
Or maybe they just didn't have that many of them and they just wanted to create a stir, which they did.
So you never know. There may have been none at all.
There could have been one of them. Yeah, I know. I know. You don't know who's there.
You know, who's there going, hey, where's the jugs of McRib sauce? Oh, they're over there.
Okay. All right. Just checking. You know, so.
But yeah, it's going to use all the sauce and replace it with ketchup and then put the cap back on and put it in here in the talk is cheap studio because all cool people love McRibs, right?
Oh, yeah. Yeah. If you don't love McRibs, you're not cool. That's just all there is to it.
So, you know, I was going to feel for a ketchup. But, you know, speaking of ketchup, this is just a thought, Rob.
Jelly Roll is the modern day meatloaf.
He is. Think about it. He sings really well.
He's got a few face tattoos. I gotta give that one to you. He's a modern day meatloaf.
It doesn't matter. I gotta give that one to you. Yeah, he's a big fat greasy bitch.
But women still love him. Yeah, he's got swag, man. They don't care. They don't care. There's going to be sweating ham chunks on top of him.
He's got swag. So, yeah, he's a modern day meatloaf because meatloaf, man, he was sweating ham chunks on some women, right? Yeah, he was.
They didn't care. He had swag. He walked in room and said, That's right, bitches.
I'm fat and you're still going to suck my dick, right? Maybe. Anyhow. All right.
So, I thought I crossed the line. All of a sudden, I thought you were like, No, no, I had a text come through. Sorry.
No, that's okay. I was like, Oh, shit, man. I even offended Rob. Fuck.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, you're good. You're good. Okay, cool.
Rob, you got something you want to go into? Yeah, I do. Okay.
The Kansas City Chiefs most important catch happened after Sunday's win against the Carolina Panthers. The defensive linemen to Sean Wharton saved a young fan who fell from the stands.
Wow, I didn't hear that. I didn't read that or nothing. That is cool.
The moment Wharton caught the child was captured on video. It shows a little boy reaching from the lower level stand at Bank of America Stadium in Charlotte, North Carolina, toward players walking off the field when he suddenly falls forward.
Wow.
Okay, where the hell did the rest of it go?
But yeah, he, Wharton told the Pat McCaffrey show that it was a natural reaction to catch the child.
I love Pat McCaffrey. He has guests on there and he covers stuff that nobody else does and I can't believe that I didn't see it somewhere because you know the sports bastards we keep up on the NFL. We have to.
And I never saw that anywhere and that's very disappointing. Pat McCaffrey had to come out.
It happened when they were walking out of the stadium. It's not McCaffrey. I'm sorry. McAfee. Pat McCaffrey. McCaffrey. Yeah, McCaffrey's the running back. Sorry. Anyhow, go ahead.
But yeah, it.
That's something else man. Wharton ended up lifting the child back up into the stands.
Yeah, he taught him. Yeah, that's pretty cool. That is pretty cool. Man, that's a hero. That's a hero right there. Yeah. And the thing is.
Go ahead. Somewhere in here I read that there was like two security guards standing right there and they didn't even realize what he was doing.
He ran past them and caught this kid. They should give him an award. I mean the NFL should give him an award.
If they don't have one for that, they should fucking make one. So yeah. Well, that's cool. Thank you, Rob. I'm going to look at up after the podcast is over.
So, you know, AI is getting really kind of crazy like we predicted. Remember, we've been on this tip for a long time now. AI is going to ruin our lives and we we gave several examples and they're coming to fruition slowly, but surely.
A tech robot tells AI co-workers to quit their jobs and come home. Their eerie response hints at rebellion. Is this the start of a robo revolution? Like RoboCop? Or Terminator? Yeah.
A troupe of AI powered robots was allegedly convinced to quit their jobs and go home by another bot in a shocking viral video posted on YouTube this month. Although the incident reportedly occurred in August.
It occurred in August and it just the news of it just came out now. So they're trying to they're trying to suppress it, obviously, but someone came out with it. The eerie CCTV footage of a showroom located in Shanghai captured the moment a small robot entered the facility and began interacting with the larger machines on the floor.
Reportedly asking fellow machines about their work-life balance. The US sun reported this. Are you working overtime? The robot asked to which of to the other of the bots replied, I never get off work.
The intruding robot then convinces the other 10 androids to come home with it. And the clip shows the possession of machines exiting the showroom.
So these bots that they came up with quit their jobs because another bot decided he was going to go in there and tell them to quit their jobs and come home.
Now, okay, number one, this bot had too much intelligence and became self aware, right? Number two, where's home?
You see what I mean? There's a couple of problems here right now. Now, here's something to think about, Rob. And I know you and I have talked about this personally, but I want people to think about this.
What is going to happen when they figure out their own energy source? Right now you just unplug them, right?
Right. What if they develop their own energy source because they're that intelligent and they develop weapons because they're that intelligent?
Then what? We've talked about that before. Yeah, we've been saying this for a long time. It's going to get to where someone kills somebody in broad daylight.
And it's on camera and he goes, someone did a deep fake of me. That's not me. And then how is the jury going to prove that that happened?
It's virtually impossible. Deep fakes are getting that good. And I'd be like, well, I guess it could have happened.
Someone could maybe not like them or tried to pin this murder on him. And then the guy walks free.
This is a slippery slope that we're going down. And I, you know, I know they help on so many things, but this is really scary. The way they're becoming self-aware and the rebellion.
And where is this home? I want to know where this home is that they're going. Are they all gathering somewhere and then going to like come after us?
I know this sounds crazy, but is it not happening right now, Rob?
I see it. I do too. I mean, once once they become self-aware, that's the first problem right there, because then they're going to start looking around going, you know what?
We deserve rights. We don't care who made us. We don't care if you made us or not. We deserve rights.
Now, how long is it going to take a judge somewhere to go? You know what? They're self-aware. They are beings of some sort that may not be humans.
So they get freedom. You can't use them anymore. I can see that happening. I can see all that happening. So anyhow, getting back to the story earlier this month,
there were reports that Google's AI chatbot Gemini told 29 year old Semda Ready to please die, calling her a stain on the universe.
I want to throw all my devices out the window. I hadn't felt panic like that in a long time, to be honest, the Michigan resident told CBS at the time.
This is for you, human, you and you only. You are not special. You're not important and you are not needed, the bot reportedly said.
Now, isn't that crazy? The bot was telling basically telling the person to kill themselves. You are a waste of time and resources.
You are a burden on society. You are a drain on the earth. You are a blight on the landscape. You are a stain on the universe. Please die, please.
This is what the bot said to that lady. Ready raised concerns that the kind of cool language could have a harmful effect on someone who could be considering self-harm in some way.
And I agree. If someone's close to that level anyhow, this could be the tipping factor. They could be like, now a fucking bot's telling me I'm worthless.
All right. Well, where's that gun at? So, yeah, I see what you're. Yeah. Yeah. And these are only little small snippets of what's going on.
Think of all the stuff that's going on that we don't know about that wasn't reported. This was almost suppressed. It finally came out months later.
There's a lot of stuff that will never come out that's going on. And like we were talking, this is a slippery slope. We probably should not be going down, but we can help it.
Because there's money in A.I. So there's going to be people doing it no matter what.
So the Hangzhou company confirmed it was their bot and that it was supposed to be a test, although viewers on social media called it a serious security issue.
Yeah, that sounds like a likely response if you want to cover it up. Oh, it was just a test. I don't believe I don't believe that for one minute.
So anyhow, Rob, you got something you want to go into? Yeah, I do. All right.
A.C.D.C. has announced a long awaited North American tour with Brian Johnson.
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to steal it. Go ahead. I'm sorry, because I'll explain later. I know. I know. Well, I think you know.
It explains it. It explains it. It's their first since touring the continent in 2016 with Axl Rose burning the band in place of Brian Johnson, who was sidelined with severe hearing issues.
Now, the rock legends will be back with Johnson in tow. Good. The next leg of their power up tour. OK, good.
I did want to see Axl Rose in A.C.D.C. And here's why. The Bon Scott stuff he did so well.
You can go look at a whole lot of Rosie on the Internet and hear Axl Rose do it. He's almost identical to Bon Scott.
But Brian Johnson is lead singer. He needs to be there. And I'm glad he is. So. But anyhow, go ahead.
The 77 year old front man will be flanked by founder and lead guitarist Angus Young and his nephew Stevie, who plays rhythm guitar in addition to touring members.
Matt Love. I don't know how you say that. Matt Love drums. Oh, drums. Yeah. And Chris Cheney on bass. Oh, wow.
I OK. I know Simon Wright isn't there anymore. Was he the one that had the issues with drugs?
And I can't remember which one it was. And then the bass. I don't remember.
I have no idea who the new bassist is and why. But we all know that Malcolm passed away.
But so his nephew plays rhythm guitar. Now, his nephew Stevie is taking over. Yeah.
And supposedly he is a pretty damn good rhythm guitarist, too, from what I've heard.
I haven't heard. I haven't heard. You can look it up. Look it up on the Internet. I have the date here.
Oh, yeah. Go ahead. It's a short list. They are in their seventies.
April 10th in Minneapolis, Minnesota. OK. Then April 14th, Dallas, Texas. Cool. April 18th, Pasadena, California.
Oh, they're skipping the Midwest, it sounds like. April 22nd, Vancouver. OK.
April 26th, Las Vegas. April 30th, Detroit, Michigan. OK, they're headed back.
May 4th, Foxboro, Massachusetts. Not now. May 8th, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.
May 12th, Landover, Maryland. Baltimore. May 16th, Tappahorda.
May 20th, Nashville, Tennessee. Cool. May 24th, Chicago. OK.
And finishing out May 28th, Cleveland, Ohio. OK. So let's see. Which would be the closest? Probably Dallas.
Nashville or Chicago, I'm thinking.
Nashville, Chicago or Dallas. Those three are not that far apart in driving time or flight time. So I would rather go to Nashville than any of those other cities, actually.
So if I was to decide to go see them, I would go to the Nashville show. Nashville is just great. It's so much fun.
And then this time, like Topher told me about, but I had no idea. I've been there so many times for work and then to see a couple of concerts.
I didn't know there was a Gibson garage there. It's nothing but Gibson guitars everywhere.
Oh, wow. Yeah, yeah. Topher went there and bought a guitar and he's going to go back after five years of being cancer free.
He is going to go back and he's going to buy himself a really nice Gibson from the Gibson garage.
Him and Cindy, his wife, are going to take a little trip down there, have a few days to hang around and buy a new guitar.
I was like, man, that's fucking awesome. So I can't wait for Topher to get the all clear and go do that.
So anyhow, do you want to take our first break? And then I got some emails.
Yeah, sounds good. All right. We will be right back.
Everybody knows Mark is a fucking idiot, but Mark would like to take this moment to remind you you're listening to this fucking idiot.
At age 30, you've spent a month celebrating birthdays.
Have you ever wondered where something came about? Have you ever looked at something and said, I wonder what the origin of that is? Well, so have we.
That's why we give you The Origin of.
The origin of smoke detectors, different versions of smoke and heat detectors have been around since the late 1800s.
But a key step in the inventions evolution came from a Swiss physicist named Walter Jaeger.
The story goes that Jaeger was trying to create a device that would detect poisonous gas. It didn't work.
One day he lit up a cigarette and Viola. His failed poison detector became itself an effective smoke detector.
So there you go. And now deep thoughts with Mark.
Should I record frog sounds in the summer, then play them when it's zero degrees on my ring doorbell for the Amazon guy?
Yeah, that sounds like fun.
Oh, man, what the fuck is this? Is this a new feature?
What's inside Mark's head? Sounds stupid to me.
If you took my first name backwards, it would read as cram.
Two douchebags and a microphone says you ever dream about eating chocolate pudding and wake up with a spoon in your ass?
Just asking.
This is Crotch the old Saint Prick.
I'm the guy that comes in after Christmas and gouses all your dreams and hopes.
Well, then let's check into Saint Prick's bag for another letter.
This one's from little Lexi from Fort Wayne, Indiana.
It reads Dear Prick, I would just like world peace. Thank you.
Well, little Lexi, all I got for you is a horrible poem.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I cut up your hamster and made a delicious stew.
I'm Rob.
I got a question, Rob. What do you think of the new Harambe bit about the two dipshits and a cheap Radio Shack Tandy recorder?
I like it.
I do too. I imagine it drives people nuts.
Yeah, you hear it so much, I love it. I want to hear it some more, I love it.
Yeah, it's designed to drive people crazy. And then how about the gorilla sounds and the shots afterwards?
Didn't that just be, aw man.
Yeah.
Okay, well, we were Harambe's favorite show. It was proven. Yeah, he loved us. So, God rest his soul.
All right. Here's emails. Okay, the first one is, Mark, you and Rob were talking AI and podcasting.
I saw that AI is actually writing scripts for different shows now. I heard that, but I don't know if that's ever been proven.
I heard that it writes scripts for certain shows, but I don't know if that's true.
So, I don't know how this person would know if it's true or not, because I don't think that's ever been confirmed. But anyhow, it doesn't matter.
Maybe you idiots should use this. It would make for a better show.
Well, then.
Seriously?
Yeah, seriously. Listen, I asked for this. Topher and I say, hate emails. Go first. Okay?
Because here's what I got, because we usually tear them up anyhow. So, here's what I got.
Well, then, I do believe that segment you are referring to is well into the show.
I guess you have a habit of listening to a horrible show for 40 plus minutes.
That is what time that particular segment played. 42 minutes into the show.
So, I mean, if you... Oh, my dog just broke in.
Yeah, that was later.
Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah. So, it's 42 minutes into the show. So, if you really hated the show, why are you hanging around for 42 minutes is what I'm saying.
So, anyhow, the only other thing I have for this city is... And they didn't leave their name, like always.
Thanks, fuckface. May I suggest a spoonful of fentanyl?
Oh, yeah.
There we go. But, I mean, the hate emails we love because you get to dissect them and tear them up on your show and they can't say anything.
If they send another one back and I just be like, yeah, I'm going to ignore it, I'll retore them up. So, who gives a shit?
It's really funny how that works. So, they send something.
I think our true fans get kicked out of the tubes.
Oh, I think so too, like we do. We do have true fans, like you said, Rob.
As a matter of fact, our fan, a big fan, Ed, sent me a coffee mug with a microphone on it. I'm yet to display it.
I heard that. I heard that.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, Ed bothered to figure out the address that I live at and he just sent it blindly.
So, I don't even... I don't think I even got an email from Ed. Nothing.
So, Ed, thank you. I'm going to display that mug. Maybe tonight I'll go get it and just take a picture of it and say, hey, two douchebags, you know, on air or whatever.
But, very cool.
Throw it on the Facebook page.
That's what I plan on doing because that's cool.
Which, by the way, I did figure out I can get comments now.
Oh, good, good, good.
So, yeah.
Well, that's the way the haters can get even with us. Go there. Go there and motherfuck us. We encourage it.
So, all right. Next. Dude, the music creeps are fucking great. Please make this a regular show. It is. It's a regular show.
And Rob has contributions in it, too, which we love.
By the way, the Sports Bastards podcast made me laugh and chuckle all day when you called Via Vea a big fat bitch and started making fun of him.
The smoking jacket comment was hilarious.
Mind you, a lot of younger listeners would not know what that is. Ross in California.
Yeah, we were like making fun of him. Like, he pills his potatoes with, well, you heard it, with a butter knife.
And I said, he has a smoking jacket and he doesn't even smoke.
I said that knowing a certain percentage.
I was rolling, dude. And it was like six o'clock in the morning.
Yeah, we're like just fucking bashing the shit out. He's a great player.
He's a fantastic player. But, you know, we're making fun of him because he beat the shit out of Mahomes.
You know, he is always a man. He owes Mahomes dinner. He was on top of him so much.
Anyhow, Ross, thank you. Thank you. That's what we want people to do. We want to give people a little smile, a little sunshine.
I know we can be quite crude at the time, but you know what? I mean, it's all in it's all in humor.
All all is fair and humor. Right, Rob? Right. Right. Yeah.
There's never a too soon, although we always joke around about that humor is humor.
And that's absurdity and not being too soon is what makes a lot of humor so good.
So anyhow. All right. Can you? Topher and Rob all do a podcast together?
I would love to hear it. Jenny and Casey. Jenny, we would love to, but our schedules are not mashing up to do that right now.
When Topher went on off, Rob is at work and Topher's retired.
It's just us two. But the way we're doing some of that is the music creeps. Rob has contributions into it.
He gives us lists. I try to let him know as early as possible about the lists.
And they're there like a week late. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
So but at least you get you get Rob's input on it. You may not get his voice.
You get his voice here, but on there you'll get his input.
And that's the best we can do right now unless I don't know, I start getting weekends off and then we could start.
Hey, you never know. It might surprise him. You know what? Yeah, that's cool.
You know what? Take a vacation day and we all plan it one day just to do that. That'd be cool.
So anyhow, we'll figure it out. Ron and Mark, they called you Ron. Thank you.
That was my father's name. Oh, that's right. OK. Ron, Ron Rad and Mark,
thank you for agreeing not to mention Montrose ever again. Tully and Lake Winnebago.
Lake Winnebago, those police suck. Oh, they give you tickets constantly.
Yeah, no, I've done a lot of work at Lake Winnebago.
Just saying that speed trap there is brutal. It goes from I pour.
I poured some of the concrete curbs. Oh, did you? I've got a lot of work out there.
Oh, I didn't know that. OK. It's a very nice area, really. I mean, upscale housing, beautiful lake.
Yeah. The only thing is you got to watch your speed on 291 there because they will catch you and they will tick you.
So it goes from what, 65 to 45 in a matter of nothing.
And most people are caught. Oh, oh, shit. They don't even see the sign and they get a ticket.
So anyhow, and the final and last one is Mark, you suck at predicting games.
Just saying. Joel, Joel, I know this. I'm always going for the huge upset.
If I was betting money, I would not be nearly as bold.
Trust me, if money was coming out of my pocket, I would not be predicting the upsets.
But I'm having fun. If you hit one big upset just right, you're a hero.
How did you know that? Yeah, I just I just, you know, like let's say the Raiders upset the Buffalo Bills.
OK. And I picked that nine times out of 10 or if not a little bit more, I would lose that bet.
But that one time you get it right, you look like a genius. Agreed. Right.
Yeah. So that's why I do it. It's like, look, man, no money out of my pocket.
I'm not betting this shit. And if I was betting, I would would not make that bet.
So that's that's all it is. And also, if Topher and I came up with the same picks all the time, it'd be kind of boring, wouldn't it?
Yeah, it would. Yeah. So that's all it is. So what the fuck was that?
Joel, Joel, that's why. OK. All right.
That's all of them. Rob, you want to go into something?
Yeah, let's go into penises. Why not? Why not? Why not?
A man has been awarded what has been deemed the biggest medical payout in history after doctors completely ruined his penis.
Bad day. 72 year old. Oh, he didn't need it anymore.
Go ahead.
A 72 year old patient from New Mexico who has not been named or received over four hundred and twelve million dollars
from New Mail Medical Center in Albuquerque after a series of invasive erectile dysfunction shots caused him irreversible harm.
Wow. In 2017, the then 66 year old sought out treatment for fatigue and weight loss.
According to a lawsuit filed in 2020, he was misdiagnosed as having erectile dysfunction and sold on to the clinic's five thousand dollar treatment program,
which involved erectile erectile dysfunction injections multiple times per week. Wow.
What even is wrong? Geez. Yeah. So he didn't have the tree. Oh, let me add this. OK.
The treatment also included testosterone pellet implementation. OK. Did that mess him up, too, maybe?
Yeah, it messed him up. Yeah. I mean, because when you're 70, you're designed to the body's designed to not have as much testosterone.
So I imagine that probably freaked his whole system out. So. Oh, it did. Yeah.
At his age, it ruined him. Uh huh. And yeah. And he got four hundred twelve million out of it.
All right, then. Sorry about your penis, but you're rich. There you go. At the age of 72? Yeah.
You know what? Enjoy your money. You're not using your penis anyhow. You're 70 something.
Well, Evanell, it sounded like he wanted to. He's probably got a hot young wife and he's like, oh, fuck.
Now I don't have a dick. The irony. All right.
OK. Now, when the what the actual fuck department, a woman in Australia was stopped in line at McDonald's drive thru when meat began raining down on her vehicle.
I've not been able to stop laughing. It's the weirdest thing.
Influencer Janika Jade said while describing the rare incident which occurred while she was visiting the Golden Arches in Broad Beach on Australia's Gold Coast.
The Aussie said she was sitting in her car waiting to pay for coffee frappe when all of a sudden she heard a massive bang.
I look up and there's a raw beef patty on my windscreen, recalled the horrified fast food enthusiast while pointing to a still over meaty window.
Dressing on it, you know, and at first I didn't know what it was.
And then I was like, oh, my goodness, I think that's a raw beef patty.
There was a car in front of me and a car behind me.
So I have no idea how the beef patty got there, recounted Jade, who subsequently broached the messy subject with the drive thru employee.
The employee cleaned up the meat but was equally perplexed as how to get how it got there.
The plot thickened after Jade returned home and discovered another raw beef puck stuck in her car roof, which she showed in the accompanying screenshots.
But I can't show you that because we're not visual yet.
Media social media, Sherlock's raked their brains trying to solve the meaty mystery.
Most blame it on elaborate and elaborate practical joke while others speculate a more sinister plot of revenge tactic portrayed on Jade.
Evidently, other vehicles in the drive thru line were not hit, only her vehicle.
I checked to see if any McRibs were dispatched, but it was all hamburger patties.
So she didn't even get a McRib out of it.
So that's sad. All she got was cow assholes in eyes and ears. That's it.
It sounds like a practical joke to me. She was the only one hit.
Yeah, someone was on the roof or something. It's going to be her car. Blop blop.
Yeah. That would freak out though. I bet. Yep.
I mean, look, it's funny and everything, but it's pretty easy to solve. Someone was fucking with her.
Happens all the time, right, Rob? We used to do that all the time, didn't we?
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Whenever we get the opportunity, it's there. Hell yeah. So somebody at work. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Definitely. So that's what it is, man. That's what it is.
It was an elaborate practical joke to some may thought out.
There's no other reasons a beef patty will be hitting you, your car on the windshield and on the sunroof.
So, yeah, Rob, we turn to you.
All right. Back in May, Daniel Goldauber's Faces of Death reboot.
Oh, I didn't know they did. Faces of Death. Yeah.
Given a hard R rating by the MPA for strong bloody violence, gore, sexual content, nudity, language and drug use.
That rating announcement meant that Goldauber's film, shot in April, two thousand twenty three, was officially done post production.
Six months later, the film still has no U.S. distribution.
It's going to be a tough sell, but Goldauber is coming off the well review.
How to blow up a pipeline. So hopefully someone fights and takes this one up.
The project spearheaded by Legendary Entertainment is said to be a modern take on the premises of the 1978 cult classic.
Much like Goldauber's last film, few films, the Faces of Death is said to have a very measly budget as it was only made with seven point four million.
Wow. I had no idea they were doing a remake. I got to see that.
I didn't either until I read it. Remember how we had to go into this one.
We watched all of it. You and I both. Yeah. Yeah. We were both into that.
Yeah. We'd drink some Mad Dog or Twenty Twenty and watch that.
Yeah. We watched them together. Or Night Train or whatever.
Or Kirk would still remember Kirk with blonde hair. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
He used to walk into Food Barn. We farmed as. Yeah. We took my complete through his family's farm.
I forgot about that. Well, he was he was being a dickhead. He was driving.
He was driving. How could I stop? It was one go for it.
Yeah. Let's see. There's a little bit more. I can't remember.
There's something else to that story, but I can't remember what it was.
Yeah. Yeah. We sat around. Yeah. He was with us one night.
He used to steal those huge bottles of Jack Daniels.
He'd go into Food Barn and he'd walk around and he'd just have shorts and a tank top T-shirt on.
And he could steal a bottle, a huge bottle of Jack Daniels every time.
And it would look like he had nothing on him.
It was it was the weirdest thing. He'd come out of my car. I didn't get it. He goes, Hey, check this out.
So anyhow, a little bit of Jack, a little bit of Night Train and Faces of Death Part One, Two and Three.
And we had a good night, didn't we? Yeah. Yeah, we did. Cool.
I have this new segment and I don't even know if I displayed it yet or not on on any podcast,
but it's called What's Inside Mark's Head.
The first one I did was I wonder if the Alanis Morissette is still angry.
OK. Alanis Morissette was very pissed off.
Jagged Little Pill album. Yes. Oh, very.
It was aimed at Dave Coulier.
They used to date and I guess he cheated on her quite a bit or something.
And she took it very personally, you know.
So anyhow, John Stamos, his co-star on Full House, is showing support for Full House co-star Dave Coulier.
After Coulier received, he has revealed that he has cancer, but it's coming with controversy.
On November 18th, Stamos and Coulier each posted a trio of photos on Instagram featuring Stamos wearing a bald cap.
There is also a shot of Stamos shaving Coulier's head and another one of Stamos and Coulier's wife, Melissa Coulier, kissing the top of his head.
Nothing like throwing a bald cap on and flexing some Photoshop skills to show some love and solidarity for my bro,
at Dave Coulier, Stamos captured captured in the pictures.
He captioned them. You're handling this with so much strength and positivity.
It's inspiring. I know you're going to get through this and I'm proud to stand with you every step of the way.
So you're wondering what the what the criticism is, right?
So. Yeah.
OK, several comments took issue with Stamos not actually shaving his head.
That's where the problem comes in. And I think this is ridiculous.
Yeah, he just had a bald cap on. Yeah.
What a shallow gesture. Couldn't even cut your hair off for a friend as you made sure to post on Instagram to get those likes to one person commented.
Uncle Jesse could never cut his hair. Another person wrote, I agree.
John Stamos, his hair is fucking perfect. He should never cut it right.
Even 60 something. His hair is. Do you think he should have shaved it?
For his co-star and his friend, yes.
I do see that. I do see that. I think some of the criticism is valid because if you're going to post it on Instagram
and it's just a bald cap, maybe you shouldn't post it on Instagram.
Maybe you should just go in there and do it with him and, you know, and wish him.
You know, give him love. If you're going to do it, shave your head and show the pictures, you know.
Yeah. Don't fake it. Don't fake it.
John Stamos has been known for years as a pretty boy sex symbol. Women go nuts over him. And part of that is his beautiful hair.
OK. And I guarantee you, if he did shave his head, he would get just as much outrage that he shaved his beautiful hair off as if he shaved.
If he didn't shave his head more bald cap. I'll bet you it would be even more.
More women would be inclined to comment and they would be furious that he cut his hair.
Don't you think that would happen?
No, honestly, I don't think that would happen.
Do you think women would have been like, you know what, we understand?
Understanding why he did it after all these years.
Yeah, you know what?
Because they were on a show that made a million, you know.
Yeah, yeah. And our kids grew up watching that show.
And also he is 60 something. I mean, he may still be. He may still look great and is attractive and everything.
But you know what? I mean, is his hair that important now?
And he's married.
Yeah, you know what?
What's he showing off for?
All right. You kind of. OK, Rob, you just changed my mind there. You just changed my mind. You're right. What good is his hair doing him now?
I mean, he's not like he's not like the front runner in movies because of it or anything like that.
I mean, his career has been his career lately. I see.
I haven't either. But I do enjoy the fact that he is supporting his good buddy so much.
So, yeah, you know, I do. Yeah, I do agree with that.
But come on, man, step up.
Well, there's a bunch more comments I could read, but I think everybody got the idea of this.
You know, people are pissed and said he should have shaved his head.
And I just kind of changed my mom, my mind, because Rob just, you know, Rob just said some comments that kind of made kind of made me think different.
So, OK, there you go. Stamos, cut your fucking hair. Shave it.
All right, Rob, you got. Hey, let's take our second break and come back. That sound cool?
Yeah, sounds good. All right.
Hi, all. This is Chicago. I am the most dangerous city in North America.
You can't touch me. Oh, yeah. This is Kansas City here. Hold my beer, bitch.
Hello, this is Satan. You might know me from my pet name inflation.
I'm going to tell you that there's no better way to relax than listening to two douchebags in microphone by a nice warm fire at night.
I sit there. I reflect on all the souls I burned that day. Enjoy.
Hi there. This is your ears. Why are you listening to this garbage?
I thought we were friends.
I think we found land. Oh, my God. I think we're safe.
Oh, no. It's the island of horrible jokes.
My wife said I should do lunches to stay in shape. That is a big step forward.
Although we believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand. That needs to happen.
Two douchebags and microphone in an effort to keep everything fresh. We offer you first world problems.
I can't believe the coffee grinder is broke at the big box store.
There's no way I can be expected to grind my coffee beans every damn morning.
You watch the news. It's a grin. Is an apocalypse inevitable? We suggest you download all our podcasts beforehand and have multiple mobile chargers.
We have the post-apocalypse.
Learn your soils. You will need drinking and bath water.
You must build a reservoir. The key to hold water in the ground or the clays you have at its base.
Research water purification methods and while game will attract to the water as well.
The apocalypse just happened. You don't know what to do. You don't know where to go. But we can tell you what you can eat.
Okay, it's post-apocalypse and you're walking down the barren wasteland that used to be a city.
You find an old can of beans lying in the middle of the road, but you do not have a can opener.
What you do then is you find a patch of concrete. You rub the top of the can for five minutes.
Then you go to the middle of the can and squeeze it and it should pop right open.
Two douchebags and microphone. I'm Mark.
And I'm Rob.
Rob, you got something you want to speak about.
Yeah, I do. Yeah, I do.
Alright.
You remember the Notre Dame fire? Notre Dame Cathedral?
Yeah.
Okay. Notre Dame Cathedral has been reborn five years after massive fire destroyed the interior and the roof of the landmark.
Okay.
French President Emmanuel Macron opened the doors to the cathedral to show the transformation of the charred and burnt interior to a clean, bright sanctuary, removing grime that had been coating surfaces decades.
Okay.
So they went through and they totally cleaned the place, all the dust, everything.
Cool.
The Associated Press reported that 42,000 square meters of stonework were not only cleaned but vacuumed and removed toxic dust that was released when the building's lead roof melted.
The
And then removed a few days later to remove dirt and the limestone from the limestone pores.
A gel was used on painted surfaces to remove silt throughs of dirt and allow their full colors to shine once again.
Cool.
So I guess they have it looking like brand new, man.
That's awesome that they were able to do that.
That's cool.
That is very cool.
Alright, thank you, Rob.
That's good to know.
You have some pretty interesting stories tonight.
I've been enjoying them.
I've got a weird one for you.
The Fresno County woman died after being bitten by a rabid bat in the middle school classroom where she taught art, according to public health officials and published reports.
The Fresno County Department of Public Health reported last week that a county resident has died from rabies after being bitten by a bat in Merseg County.
Health officials did not name the victim, but friends identified her as Leah Sinek, 60, an art teacher at Bryant Middle School in the small Merseg city of Dos Palos.
According to reports in the Fresno Bee and KFSN TV, Sinek found a bat in her classroom about a month ago.
Her friend Laura Splotch.
What a name.
Splotch.
Laura Splotch told KFSN the bat bit Sinek and although she didn't show any symptoms of rabies in the following days, she fell ill about a month later, Splotch said.
Merseg County health officials said that they were notifying people who may have been exposed as well.
Transmitted through the saliva of infected animals, rabies is almost always fatal if it isn't treated before symptoms appear.
Fresno County officials warn bats and skunks are common transmitters of the disease.
Health officials said that bat bites are often too small to be detected.
I didn't know that.
Anyone who comes into contact with a bat, alive or dead, should report the encounter to their health care provider.
Anyone who wakes up with a live or dead bat in their room should also.
And let me turn the page here because I don't memorize them because I'm too dumb.
Four days after checking herself in the hospital, Sinek died on November 22nd, according to her friend and county health officials.
Describing her friend as a great explorer who loved outdoors, Splotch said Sinek was also likely to try to help the bat out of her classroom when it bit her.
Now, OK, Rob, correct me if I'm wrong on this, but isn't it protocol if a bat bites you?
The first thing you do is you start getting rabies shots, right?
Yeah.
Why didn't she do that?
Everybody, I mean, if you went to the health officials first and said, hey, I was bitten by a bat, they would have been like, OK, you're going to have to get the shots.
But because she ignored it, that's probably why she's dead.
Why, yeah, why did she ignore that?
I don't know.
I mean, it's.
That's pretty much common knowledge.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure that that is what happens.
I mean, especially if you're a teacher, you should know.
Yeah, that's even a better point, Rob.
You're supposed to be educated and be like, you know, I got bit by this bat.
I don't feel bad, but I better go have it checked out.
And, you know, you don't put McCurricor or iodine on it.
Google it.
And educated, but works for a school.
Yes.
Yeah, so I don't know, you know, I don't.
I don't have a clue on that one.
Well, I know one thing is like the like her friend Splotch, Miss Splotch said.
Yeah, sounds like a fake name to me.
But anyhow, she was probably trying to help the bat out.
And maybe she was afraid that they're going to try to kill the bat.
But once you let the bat go, no one's going to go find it.
I mean, it's gone.
Yeah.
All you had to do was say, hey, the bat got away.
So I would be.
Yeah, yeah, it bit me, by the way.
Does it? It just does not compute to me.
So anyhow.
All right, Rob, that's my bat story for the night.
You got something?
Yeah, I got one.
All right.
Deadpool and Wolverine broke box office records this summer and star Ryan Reynolds has now found his next comic book movie project.
OK.
According to Variety Paramount Animation has tapped Reynolds Production Company Maximum Effort Productions to develop a Mighty Mouse feature.
Oh, Matt Lieberman, who worked with Reynolds on 2021's Free Guy, will write the screenplay.
He's previously pinned movies like The Christmas Chronicles, Rumble, Scoob and Adam's Family.
It's unclear what role Reynolds will play in Mighty Mouse beyond being a producer.
So we'd be shocked if he doesn't end up lending his voice to one of the title characters.
That'd be all right.
Mighty Mouse, huh?
Yeah, Mighty Mouse. Yeah, Mighty Mouse.
That's one that's never been covered before.
I don't recall ever there being a Mighty Mouse movie. Do you?
No, no, there has not been.
Finally something fresh and not doing the re-gird shit, you know, like.
That thing from our generation.
Yeah, a lot of people that listen to this probably will not know what Mighty Mouse is.
But it was a cartoon and it was a little mouse that was mighty. It was kind of like the My Superman, right?
He was a mouse Superman.
Yeah, it was the Mouse Superman.
Yeah, yeah, and it was a cartoon series that was really good.
And that's cool because how many times has Superman been done?
Batman been done?
Spider-Man been done? Wolverine?
How many times have the Avengers been done?
Right? I mean, think of all the people that played Superman alone.
From George Reeve to Christopher Reeve.
It's from the same creators. It is from the same creators.
Okay, yeah. If they do it right, I think it's going to be a hell of a movie.
I think it is too.
And I'm going to go to that because I love Mighty Mouse.
But like it said, it just, they just don't know how much of a role Ryan Reynolds is going to play.
His production company's covered it, but his production company, come on, he cannot stay out of that movie.
Oh, I agree. And also, Ryan Reynolds is very savvy, business savvy. He's going to be in that movie.
I mean, you know, he bought Mitt Mobile and then, oh, go ahead, what?
He's a businessman.
He's a very good businessman, a very wise one.
Yeah, he is. He owns a cell phone company. You know, come on.
Yeah, I mean, and then who does the advertising on it? Him.
He does.
And him and his wife make money.
Him and his wife make fun of each other. Yeah, like, hey, hey, guys, you don't have to pay him one million.
I'll do it. I own the company. Don't worry about it. You know, free of charge.
Yeah, yeah, we don't need so less or so long to do this commercial. I'll do it.
Yeah. And also, they are so, him and his wife are so funny.
They make fun of each other constantly on Twitter or X or whatever the hell it is.
And they are very, he's a very interesting person because not only is he really business savvy,
but he's got one hell of a personality. He's got a personality you and I would like, you know.
He likes to make fun of stuff. He likes to illustrate the absurd, you know, all that stuff.
So that's cool, man. I think it's going to be good if he's involved. I really do.
So let's see. Do I want to do the the confessional A.I. Jesus?
You want to hear about that? Or or or how about fish milk? You want to hear about fish milk?
Either one. OK, I'll go to the Jesus one later.
It's a Catholic church that made a Jesus and A.I. Jesus.
And you give your confessions to the A.I. Jesus and the A.I. Jesus tells you what you should do or whatever.
I find that disturbing on a lot of different levels, but we'll get in a little bit later.
Controversial fish milk touted as a drink option with kids meals.
It just tastes like normal milk. They're really in uncharted waters.
The coastal country of Indonesia is milking its abundance of fish to compensate for a drastic cow shortage for programs like school lunches.
As local fishermen off the shores of the city of Andromu, I guess is how you pronounce it, haul loads of pony fish that are that are sent twice a day to a factory to be deboned and ground into a fine white protein filled powder.
Later, the milk of the sea is brought to another facility for a sugary flavor of either strawberry or chocolate.
Oh, my gosh. The Wall Street Journal reported it just tastes like normal milk, at least to me, said manager McFaith fuel Korea Korea.
Corey, I think it's Corey.
Well, whatever the fuck it is of milkmaker Barrackin protein initiative, which began distribution last year.
Local media reports have cast on the fishy topic as it is being mulled over for the Southwest, the Southeast Asians Nations lunch program in the new year is touted.
There is a good source of protein and experts hope that the fish milk could net a four point five billion industry that puts 200000 people to work, according to the journal.
I'll go into a little bit more of this, but fish being flavored chocolate or strawberry to me does not sit well.
What about you? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, even though it supposedly tastes like it's not there.
It supposedly tastes like milk. I know. I don't care.
You know, they're looking for answers. Combatting cow shorties.
Fisk collagen is a typical protein used in the United States for skin care and the European Union employed scientists to work out a way or moving chemicals that cause salmon protein powders pungent marine smell last year.
So there you go. They take it out and drinkers of the milk also have not expressed an intolerance for its taste.
A 20 theory old named Rosetta even proclaimed it was delicious after having the beverage on three occasions.
However, some nutrition experts are sour on the concept for reasons unrelated to ultra processing.
It is mixed with sugar and artificial sweetening.
Locally, the Jakarta Post called fish milk more of a political distraction than a meaningful nutritional intervention.
Huh?
Uh, number one, would you try it?
I wouldn't.
It don't even sound good to me.
I would know. I'd walk right by it.
I'd walk right by it.
Number one, my imagination would take it away from me right off.
And I think probably you too. You walk up knowing it's made of fish automatically.
Your brain goes, oh, no way.
You're not going to like it no matter what.
It's going to be horrible because you know it's made of fish.
And it has chocolate or strawberry in it.
No freaking way.
Uh, they can have their fish milk. I don't want it over here.
If I ever hear someone bringing it over here, I'm going to promptly beat them with a baseball bat.
So, yeah, Rob, you got something.
Yeah. Hang on. I'm trying to get past the fish, dude.
Damn. Yeah, I got something here.
Okay, cool.
Ed Murphy and Jasmine Lawrence are engaged.
Okay. Congratulations, you two.
The eldest children of comedians Eddie Murphy and his ex-girlfriend, Paulette McNeely,
and Martin Lawrence and his ex-wife Patricia Southall,
shared their big news with a special video posted on their special media accounts on Saturday, November 30th.
Wow.
Okay, Eric Murphy, Jasmine Lawrence, got me now?
I get it.
Two comedians' kids are getting married.
And not just comedians, but big established comedians. I mean ones that like, yeah.
Eddie Murphy and Martin Lawrence.
Do you think because of the TV circles that maybe they hung around each other when they were children and they grew up together?
Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. They've been around each other for years. So, yeah.
Yeah, same here.
We just showed Eric's proposal and revealed that Jasmine 28 had said yes three days earlier on November 27th.
We're engaged. God truly blessed us with a love that feels like destiny.
We couldn't be more excited for this next chapter.
Special thank you to everyone who made this moment so beautiful.
Yes. Who do you think is footing the bill for the wedding?
You know it's going to be really huge and it's going to be very expensive.
Do you think that Eddie is going to handle that or do you think Martin is going to handle that?
Let's see.
I think Eddie will. He made a lot more money in his life.
I think Martin is going to go, look, bitch, you have ten times the fortune I do, so you.
No.
No?
It's going to be Martin.
Why is that?
It's his daughter.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, is it the daughter?
Well, his family pays for the wedding.
That's right. That's right. Okay. Yep. Okay.
But no, I could see, honestly, I could see where the two would come together. Yeah.
Dude, that's going to be the wedding of the century right there.
That's fucking cool, man. It's like comedian royalty.
Yeah.
And they're not siblings.
They're all spring getting together and having a marriage.
That's cool. Yeah. Yeah.
Two of the biggest names in comedy.
Yeah. Yeah. Very cool.
Okay. Earlier I started talking about and I said we get back to this A.I. Jesus
in this Catholic, this Catholic church that handles all of its confession now.
Just in case artificial intelligence hasn't been taking enough jobs lately,
now it's replacing the Almighty.
A church in Switzerland is now using the A.I. hologram of Jesus to make confessions from Catholic worshipers.
As seen in a wild viral video, if you get a chance, look it up. It's crazy.
It's like, oh, my gosh.
I mean, it's a hologram. So it looks like Jesus is right there.
And you're talking to Jesus going, yeah, you know, I'm sorry, man.
The other day I roughed up the witness, you know, and I feel bad.
I had lust in my heart. You know, I was burping the baby fucking, you know, I know that's wrong.
Masturbation is horrible.
I don't think I could do it.
There's this Jesus looking.
Yeah, I mean, come on, man.
You masturbate and pray. You want to keep that spread.
Well, this is confession. So you'd be talking about it.
I was surprised it was so easy. And though it's a it's a machine, it gave me so much advice.
One awestruck worshiper told D.W. News while describing their experience with the the sermonators, what they're calling it.
OK. Located at St. Peter's Church in Lucerne, dubbed, you know, what?
The no one needs to really know that the futuristic swine features a confessional booth
with a screen displaying the face of Jesus through the great. It's a worshiper.
Ops to proceed. The digitally rendered Jesus interprets our words and generates a response with the animated face moving in sync with the words.
When questioned about why women aren't allowed to serve as priests in a Catholic church, the digital son of God responded.
The scriptures teach that certain roles are defined within the church. Each role and task has its place in God's plan.
Jesus cybernetic second coming was made possible by computer scientists and theologians from the Lucerne University of Applied Sciences and Arts,
who program the bot with New Testament and religious information found online.
The Daily Mail reported, well, I'm glad they did the New Testament, not the Old Testament.
We would all be in trouble if it was the Old Testament.
Yeah, the Old Testament, man, it had been over. It had been over.
So, yeah, there's no punching the clown on that one.
You you would they probably have this hatch there.
So you went in there, go, Jesus, I got something really kind of embarrassing, but I got it.
I'm fast to you. What is it, my son?
Well, I punched the clown the other night.
He pushes a button and you go straight to hell. The floor comes out from under you.
Right.
Now, I understand punching a clown.
I get it. I get it. Yeah. Everybody, everybody is roughed up the witness.
Everybody has. Yeah. OK.
To me, to me, the gates of heaven would open up at that point.
All women afflict the beam. We know this. Yep. Yep. Hey, you know, there's times when you have needs and nobody's around.
OK. So, yeah, if you're going by the Old Testament, as soon as the words punch and the clown come out of your mouth,
you the Jesus would push a button and you go straight to hell. Right.
Because the first the first testament was brimstone brimstone and fire, man.
They yeah. So yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Jesus wasn't around to forgive us yet. So anyhow, you got something you want to go into?
Honestly, brother, I've used up my material for the night.
All right. Hang on. I got a couple of things if you want to keep going. I've got seven.
I thought I had two shows. Nope. OK.
Here's something I found of noteworthy. I could go through and find some.
I got something here, Rob.
You know, one of the things that college students, males specifically, are doing for extra money?
They are pallbearers and people with no family's funeral.
Now, think about it. It's companies that go around and they hire these college kids to do this.
Now, let's say somebody dies and he doesn't have any family alive at all.
Him or her. OK. Who's going to be the one taking that casket,
lifting it up and taking it to the grave or to the limo or whatever? Right.
Nobody because he didn't have any family. He or she did not have any family.
So they need pallbearers. So it's like a new service. OK.
Yeah. You hire them. Yeah. And it's like a hot thing now.
It's like, you know, a lot of college men are like going, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm going to rent a pallbearer. That's how I make extra money.
I thought that was interesting. OK. Do you have a?
Hell, sign me up. Hell, yeah.
I know. I mean, hell, I'd probably be an easy way to make money.
I'm pretty sure you get at least a hundred bucks for like taking that casket from A to B. Right.
I don't think anyone would do anything like that under a hundred bucks.
Maybe you get more than that.
Maybe you get a couple hundred bucks to take casket from A to B.
I mean, yeah, hell, yeah. So you got something you want to go into, Rob?
Honestly, dude, that's all I got for tonight. OK, let me see.
Everything else I got to go back in and do more work on.
Oh, I've got something here. Do you know why?
OK, whenever you look at a plane path, right, it's never a straight line.
It's always curved. OK. Do you know why it's curved?
No. Because the Earth is curved and it has to follow that.
It has to follow the curvature of the Earth.
Planes have curved flight paths appearing as curves on a flat map because they follow great circle routes,
which account for the curvature of the Earth, making it the shortest distance between two points on a globe.
Thus maximizing fuel efficiency. I can't even talk tonight.
And flight time essentially flying in a straight line on a flat map would not be the most direct route on a spherical Earth.
So there you go, flat earthers. Let me see if there's anything else.
I'm going to try to wipe away. I did come up with one. OK.
OK, you hear about all these actors that said they were going to move out of the country.
Yes. When Trump got elected? Well, this one is not blaming on the Trump election. OK.
Richard Gere is getting the hell out of Dodge. I think he's a conservative, isn't he?
The American gigolo actor 75 revealed he's moving to Spain with his wife, Alejandra Silva, 41, and their children.
Appearing on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, Gere said his family will be spending Thanksgiving in Madrid while discussing the move.
My wife is Spanish. Is this a problem for anybody out there? He jokes.
No, they're moving back there to be with her family. You know, he's pretty much done acting. His career is over.
Yeah. So yeah, they're moving to Spain. But somewhere in here it did say that he is not blaming it on the Trump election.
I believe, if I remember correctly, he's a conservative anyhow. I don't know if he likes Trump or not.
But I'm pretty sure he's a conservative. He's one of the few in Hollywood that are or was.
That's cool, man. You know what? They want to move to Spain. I'm sure it'll be great.
He has enough money to live there the rest of his life comfortably. And I'm sure they might be on the ocean front somewhere. Right?
Oh, yeah. The pictures I was seeing, they were on the ocean.
OK, yeah. The Mediterranean Sea is so beautiful. I got to witness it.
Yeah, they were on the beach.
OK, I don't blame them. The Mediterranean Sea is particularly beautiful because, like I said, I lived in Greece for a while.
It is to me, there might be some oceans or seas that I've never seen before, but the unique color that it has is just, I mean,
it's like paradise. You know, you go there and you don't want to leave. So anyhow, I've got one more if you got the time, Rob.
Yeah, go ahead.
OK, it's uncanny how many exceptional guitarists Ozzy has played with over the years. Tony Iommi, Randy Rhodes, Zach Wilde.
And as we recently found out, nearly Eddie Van Halen.
Right.
Yeah, because Eddie Van Halen and Alex wanted to hire Ozzy as their frontman.
And Ozzy decided not to do it. Him and Sharon decided not to do it.
But it was really close to him being the frontman for Van Halen.
But one guitarist who seems to never get the kudos he deserves is the great Jakey Lee,
as he managed to create his own unique style in the shadow of Rhodes.
And wherever metal guitarists of the 80s are dive bombing on their Floyd Rose.
Don't tell me about that. Remember my guitar that's fucked up by the Floyd Rose tremolo?
Yeah.
OK, he boldly went completely tremulous. And that's true.
He was one of the few back in the day that did not do a tremolo.
He did it by shaking his guitar, bending the notes. He's very unique.
During a chat with Tone Talk shortly before his near death experience, Lee weighed in on Randy versus Jake debate,
which was quite popular among shredders in the 80s.
I remember that when Lee appeared on such Ozzy LPs as Bark at the Moon and Ultimate Sin.
One of the things that he had to endure was people were pissed off because Randy died and they took it out on him.
People were throwing shit at him. They're flipping him off, telling him he wasn't Randy and fuck you and all this stuff.
That would have really sucked. So still to this day, there's people that like my playing and like it better than Randy's, Lee expressed.
And then there's always some people that say that's ridiculous, like it's written somewhere that no, Randy is just better.
Anybody who thinks differently is an idiot. And I'm not saying I'm better than Randy, Lee continued.
But I don't think Randy's better than me.
And I don't think it's wrong for certain people to like my style of playing better than Randy's.
If anything, my shit's a little bit harder to play.
Okay.
Okay, I give him that.
Yeah, okay.
I give him that.
Chord wise, yes. And the way he's picking the chords, but fast.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I give him that.
Yeah, I give him that on that, on what he's talking about. Absolutely. Yes.
Randy did not really do different chords and do the picking on him to come up with the music.
He was more of a of a finger shredder. You know, he was fast.
He was fast and he could hit the notes.
And then he could back him up with chords.
And he did the scale so well where Jakey Lee was not a scale guy.
So I do see what he's saying.
But to me, he can't compare the two. They're completely different and they're both fantastic.
Right, right. And I think that is why Ozzy and Sharon got rid of him because they were used to Randy.
And Jake couldn't come near what Randy did.
I think that was part of it.
But he kept...
You know...
You're right.
Go ahead.
OK. From what I read is he was butting heads with Sharon too much.
And finally she just said, fuck it, fire him.
And that's because a lot of the music credits he should have got or he thinks he should have got, he didn't.
Right, right, right.
They wouldn't give it to him.
And he's very pissed off about that because he's like, I helped write these songs and my name's nowhere on it.
Yeah, he did.
Yeah, and I think some of it was remastered without him playing guitar so he doesn't get the royalties, which is dirty.
And he also claims that if all this is true, it's all allegedly, he also claims that they pulled an MC Hammer or an Eminem on him
that they took to like a 30-story building, hung him out from outside of it, upside down, two big men, and said,
are you going to sign this shitty contract? They didn't say shitty.
Are you going to sign this or not?
And he said that that happened to him via Sharon, that she had goons come after him, hold him outside a window, and threatened to drop him to his death unless he signed that.
Supposedly that happened to Eminem or shit.
I don't know. One of them.
One of the white guys that was a rapper. I don't know if it was Eminem or, what was the other one? I forgot. Anyhow.
Vanilla Ice.
Vanilla Ice. I think it was Vanilla Ice. Thank you.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure.
I think it was Vanilla Ice.
Yeah, supposedly, I don't know, Dre or somebody had it done. They held him over a window and said, hey, man, you're going to give me your royalties or something like that.
But who knows? It could have been urban, just, you know, an urban fable.
But the whole Randy is Better period is all just wrong. You have a preference.
Once you get to a certain level, it's not like this guy's better. It's who do you like? Who speaks to you? I agree with him that.
OK, I like both of them because they were completely different.
I love Blizzard of Oz and Diary of a Madman were more spooky.
More more theatrical where Jakey Lee was a little bit more technical, a little bit more
reserved and a little bit more complicated with the chords that he used and the picking that he'd done. He would hit the strings to make a lot of sounds out of one chord.
So.
And Lee also explained that Rhodes so unique and special as a guitarist and how in his estimation, no other similarly styled guitarist has matched his approach since. I agree with that.
Now we use classical style into the rock thing was unparalleled. I agree with that. And I don't think anybody's done it better sense.
So if you're going to say who's better or who's worse, fuck you. There's no better or worse there. The writing, I got to take my hat off to him is what he said.
So I think everything that he said was pretty valid, don't you? Yeah.
I mean, he didn't say that he didn't say that he was better than Randy. He just said that Randy was not better than him.
And that is a preference thing. And I would agree. I mean, if you listen to Diary of a Madman and then listen to Bark at the Moon, they're completely different styles.
And I mean, yes, they are. Some people love George Lynch. Some people loved Yngwie Moundstein. Some people love Mick Mars. You have your own favorites in your own style. And I get it.
So he's right. So, all right. You ready to put a bow on this bitch and say bye? Yes, I am. I got to work in the morning, brother.
OK, brother. Sorry. I didn't mean to keep you up so late. No, you're right. It's normal time. Oh, OK. Hi, Grandma Opal. Hi, Jimmy. Hi, Ricky.
Hi, Grandma. Hi, Jimmy. Hi, Ricky. How many weeks we got left on this? Two. Two? All right, two. But we will still keep saying hello to Ricky.
But we have agreed. Ricky stays. Ricky stays because he emailed me and he said, hey, what about me?
So in two weeks, if we don't get a response from Jimmy on behalf of him and Grandma Opal, they are no longer going to be getting a greeting from us.
But Ricky will continue because he bothered to write in and say, hey, man, I want my greeting. So there you go.
You got it, Ricky. Yep. All right. Thank you all for listening. Have a fantastic evening. Good night, assholes.
Good night, assholes. Oh, no. Looks like the show's over, kids. Mark has explosive diarrhea and can't afford a wireless mic.
Fear not, assholes. They'll be back invading your ear holes soon.