Recorded live from the historic River Market area in downtown Kansas City proper near the banks of the crystal blue waters of the Missouri River, we give you the Sports Bastards.
These sports bastards, I have a deaf neighbor and he told me he hates this show and he can't even hear it. That'll tell you how good this show is. A deaf person fucking hates it.
When taking a shower, remember to scrub your asshole with soapy water because nobody likes a stinky asshole.
Any bullet points left over from what we did before?
You know what, I've got some stuff. Before we get into the music creeps, I've got the 10 biggest draft busts.
I believe it was CBS Sports.com. Then I have some more Chris Collenworth's John Madden horrible quotes.
Do you want to start with the biggest busts?
Sure.
Okay, this is a pretty good list. They covered some stuff that I even forgot about.
Okay, number 10 on the list is quarterback Rich Campbell, number 6 overall to the Green Bay Packers.
Rich Campbell.
Tony Mandrich is associated with the Packers draft busts, but he isn't the biggest one in the history of their own franchise. The Packers took a quarterback in the 6th overall pick who never started a game for them.
Campbell is the only quarterback selected in the top 30 from 1970 to 2019 to have never started a game. Playing just 6 games and, yeah, look him up because I remember a little bit about it but not a whole lot because it was just right before our time I think.
Yeah.
Before we started giving a shit about football, you know.
So, playing just 6 games and completing 45.6% of his passes for 386 yards, 3 touchdowns and 9 interceptions.
The Packers didn't select a quarterback in the first round until Aaron Rodgers in 2005 after the Campbell experiment. It sounds like the Chiefs after Steve Fuller and Todd Blackledge.
Yeah, that really burned out, didn't it?
Yeah, they didn't pick one for years. As a matter of fact, the first number one draft pick that, you know, not overall but our first number one that we picked was Patrick Mahomes after that.
Exactly. Yeah.
Yeah, and it took people like Brett Veach and Andy Reid to go and fuck that curse. We're going to beat it, and they did.
Yeah, you can get out from under the curse as long as you quit believing in it and just don't respect it anymore and go, you know, screw that.
Yeah, I suggest that for the Chicago Bears.
Yeah.
Just move on. The goat didn't go to you. The goat's dead.
Because people are saying that the goat curse from the Cubs went over to Soldier Field now.
Yeah.
I think it's just stupid office.
So, anyhow.
Okay, number nine is the Los Angeles Rams running back Lawrence Phillips. Number six overall.
Yeah, yeah, remember?
That guy had so much trouble.
Oh, geez. I mean, he had the talent. He just could never stop being in trouble.
Yeah.
Okay, so.
What I remember from him was, I'll maybe jump in your story. I'll stop.
Oh, no, no. No, go ahead. No, go ahead.
Oh, okay. Well, what I remember from him was it was a lot of domestic battery and assault.
Beating up girlfriends or even just women who weren't his girlfriends.
Yes.
It was Nebraska, I think you came from.
Nebraska.
It was coming up there.
Nebraska. I think he was a Tom Osborne product, wasn't he? Osborne, Tom Osborne.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah. That's back when Nebraska was balling.
Even after he was out of football, I think he was convicted on an armed robbery charge or something.
Yes, yes.
He probably straightened himself up.
No, he didn't. He didn't. I remember that. He did not. As a matter of fact, people are like, what the hell?
You know, because they thought like he kind of straightened. It seemed like he straightened his stuff up for a couple of years.
But no.
Yeah.
Yeah. Or at least the last I knew, the last I heard of him was that robbery charge.
And that was I didn't remember hearing about him ever again. Have you?
No, no. I think I'd have to go look him up to find out anything.
So either that he's been put away or he's decided to keep his nose clean, one of the two.
Yeah. OK, well, here's what it says here. The Rams who hailed the same in St. Louis at the time ignored the red flag regarding Phillips and the character issues that surrounded him.
Phillips was viewed as the best talent in the draft, but teams didn't want to take the risk.
They traded future Hall of Famer Jerome Bettis because they thought so highly of Phillips.
Can you believe that?
I didn't. That's the part.
Yeah, that's the part that I forgot about, too. That makes it even a whole lot worse.
The bus. He ended up playing in Kansas City.
Yeah, he had to stop in Pittsburgh. He had some great success there, too.
He did really good in Pittsburgh and then they gave us the leftovers, but he still did OK in Kansas City.
So OK, so anyhow, his problems continued in NFL excessive drinking and jail time doom Phillips after two seasons with the team as he was released in the middle in 1997 season.
Phillips rushed for 1265 yards and 12 touchdowns with the Rams average in three point four yards per carry.
He was out of the league by 1999 after a short stints with the Dolphins and 49ers. I don't remember the 49ers, but I remembered him going to with the Dolphins for briefly.
Yeah, yeah, I remember him in a Dolphins uniform, but not the Niners. He may have never gotten on the field in the 49ers.
I think he barely had a cup of coffee in San Francisco. That was it. That was pretty much it.
I like that expression.
Barely had a cup of coffee. He didn't have he didn't even have time to put creamer in it. Yeah, he's just like, OK, I'm gone.
Number eight Indian Crapple is Colts.
Sorry, Indy, we have a couple listeners there. I've seen it. Love you guys. Yeah, but your guys, his name is Indian Crapple is I'm sorry.
Quarterback, all art Schlister number four overall. Do you remember that guy? I don't. Oh, yeah. You remember him barely.
OK, people talking about it. Yeah. OK.
The Colts had a few contenders for this honor before Peyton Manning transferred the franchise, which he did.
But Schlister was an all time bad gambling suspension costume. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Cost him the entire 1983 season after a rookie year in which he played just three games and threw for one hundred ninety seven yards and two interceptions.
Zero touchdowns. Schlister lost the starting job to rookie fourth round pick Mike Pagel.
And he was the number four overall pick gambling addiction.
Oh, yeah. Yes. Remember now that's starting to remember.
I'm starting to ring some bells. The gambling gambling thing. Yes.
Because I remember that was a huge deal. So gambling addiction eventually got him released from the Colts in 1985.
He admitted he gambled during his suspension. Schlister went 0 and 6 as a starter, completing 45 percent of his passes and one thousand and six yards.
And with three touchdowns and 11 interceptions, the Colts just won 16 games in his in his four seasons there.
So that's what that's when they were really horrible. And oh, this next one you're going to love.
Sit number seven is Seattle Seahawks. Rick Myrer, mirror. Oh, from Notre Dame.
Yes, I think it's pronounced Myrer or is it mirror? Yeah, I think it's Myrer. I think Myrer. Yeah.
Myrer had four four four years in Seattle, completing 53.4 percent of his passes for nine thousand and ninety four yards with 41 touchdowns and 56 interceptions.
Sixty five point two rating, which is that good?
Although he set NFL rookie records in completion in yards, Myrer wasn't the answer the Seahawks were looking for.
And the stats proved it out of one hundred ninety five quarterbacks with fifteen hundred pass attempts.
Myrer ranks one hundred and eighty first in passer rating and one hundred ninety third in yards per attempt.
He played in the NFL until 2003. When he had backup, who was he a backup to?
He actually came in and did good as a backup. And I can't remember what team that was with.
I remember seeing him in a Bears uniform. Maybe it was Bears. He came in and won a couple of crucial games one year.
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, maybe the Patriots. It could have been.
I think it could have been the Patriots. Yeah, I think you're right. OK.
Anyhow, yeah, Rick Myrer, I remember him. Myrer, it's like kind of like Farber.
Yeah. Or Giga Field. No, yes. Yeah, Giga Field.
Sounds like you're sneezing. It does. Do you need a tissue?
No, I'm just I'm just saying the chief's new field name.
All right. Number six, Pittsburgh Steelers.
Huey Richardson, number 16 Huey Richardson.
I remember a little bit about him.
Nineteen ninety one. Richardson played just five games with the Steelers before Bill Cower had seen enough.
Cower didn't draft Richardson, but the linebacker showed nothing that was worth keeping around.
He had no tackles and no sacks NFL career that lasted just 16 games over the span of two seasons.
Pittsburgh dealt Richardson for a seventh round pick after his rookie season.
And that was the end of his tenure.
Wow. He is very forgettable because he just he never did anything.
And he he was just like just a flash.
I mean, really, he played in half the games each season and he didn't do anything and you never seen him again.
And I mean, so he was very forgettable. It wasn't like a quarterback pick number one or something.
You know, he just kind of blended in with the rest of them.
So, yeah, it's kind of odd for Pittsburgh, though.
They're known for good quarterback. Well, this was a bunch of Hall of Famers.
This was this guy was a linebacker, though.
Yeah. Oh, OK. I get what you're saying. Yeah. Yeah.
I get I get what you're saying. OK. Yeah.
This was before Cowher, though, because after shit, I can't think of the guy's name when Brad Shaw was in there.
The head coach, he won a lot of Dallas Chuck Noll Chuck Noll.
Yeah. After Chuck Noll, they were in La La Land until they got Cowher pretty much.
Yeah, exactly. So whoever was there before Cowher drafted this guy.
So that probably explains it all. So, yeah.
Number five, New York Jets defensive lineman Vernon Goldston.
Oh, yeah. Yes. Yep. Number six overall in 2008, the Jets had their fair share of draft bus in recent years.
None was as large as Goldston.
New York was deceived by Goldston's amazing combine and thought he was going to be a dominant pass rusher for the next decade.
Instead, Goldston never recorded a sack nor forced a fumble in his NFL career.
Finishing with just 42 tackles in three seasons, he was out of the league after three seasons in 2008.
Draft didn't have a great pass rushers and New York took the worst of the bunch with the highest pick.
Yeah, I remember him quite a bit because they really thought that he was going to be like a phenomenal pass rusher.
He's going to be, I don't know, a Derek Thomas, if you will, or even a yeah.
What's his name? Taylor. Shit, I can't think. Lawrence Taylor. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I remember him being compared to Lawrence Taylor.
And of course, nothing. So this next that is age. Well, did it? No, it did not. No, it did not.
Oh, man. Is Lawrence Taylor even alive still? I think he is.
And he. Oh, yeah, I think he is. I think he is.
I mean, did he clean up any? I don't know if he ever did or not.
Oh, well, that'd be the roof looking up. Yeah, it would be number four Cincinnati Bengals quarterback, Aliki Smith.
Number three overall, 1999. Remember him? Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Aliki Smith. I think it's Aliki. It could be a Kylie. But I thought it was Aliki, wasn't it?
I'm remembering Achille. Achille, I think is it like Achilles tendon. That's right. That's right.
It was Achille. OK. And also it's felt like it should be Achille. It's Aki L.I. You're right.
OK. OK. Smith is the winner of bad first round picks the Bengals made in the 1990s,
making a case as one of the worst quarterbacks in NFL history.
Smith held out a training camp due to a contract dispute, and the Bengals just gave him 15 starts before they had enough.
Smith. Damn it, my pages. OK, I stapled the wrong end of it. I apologize.
So I'm like, what the hell? OK, completed just 47 percent of his passes with five touchdowns and 10 interceptions,
55.1 rating in those starts before being benched for good.
The Bengals went just three and twelve and Smith's 15 starts. He completed forty six point six percent of his passes for five touchdowns.
Thirteen interceptions for a fifty two point eight passer rating. Yeah.
Yeah. In just 22 games, he was released in 2003, never playing in league again. And I can see why.
A 52 passer rating. I think you could go out and like, I don't know, make one pass out of 30
and and be above a 52. I mean, that's yeah, I would think that's almost hard to get a 52 is hard to get,
especially over a span of a few games. I mean, you had to just been doing nothing.
Yeah, I'm not sure what all goes into the calculation of the quarterback rating, but I'm going to be in the versus incompletion.
Yeah. And also touchdowns versus interceptions figure into there.
Yeah. And rushing touchdowns, believe it or not, don't count. It's all passing.
Yeah. Isn't that weird? So a rushing touchdown like Lamar Jackson, he's got a great rating, but some of them,
a lot of me don't get credit because he ran them in and he still got like a one twenty seven rating.
So that's pretty damn good. So or he may not run him in anymore.
He might just give the rock to Derrick Henry and go, you know what? I don't do that anymore.
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, at some point, John Harbaugh is going to go, no, you don't do that anymore.
You know, you know how much money we spent on you, dude.
That's what that guy over there is. That guy over there is the guy you give the rock to.
You get rid of it. So OK, number three, New Orleans Saints, Russell,
X, Lebanon, X, Ersleben, E, R, X, L, E, B, E, N, Ersleben.
I think Ersleben, Ersleben. That's it. Russell Ersleben or Lebanon.
Ersleben not memorable that we don't even know how to pronounce his name.
No, it's E, R, X, L, E, B, E, N. I think Ersleben or Lebanon.
Ersleben, what a weird name. Number 11 overall, 1979.
The Saints took a punter. Yes, a punter in the first round of the NFL.
Like, remember Janikowski? The Raiders took him first.
He panned out, though, in the first round when he wasn't doing GHB
and like slipping in people's drinks, he was OK.
Way back in the day, the Raiders also picked punter Ray Guy with the first overall pick.
Oh, yeah, I remember that. What a stupid name.
He worked out to be really good because they needed a really good punter.
Yeah. And he was really good at pinning people deep.
Back then, the Raiders thing was they didn't succeed on a lot of drives.
But when they did, it was a long pass for a touchdown.
Yeah, you're right. Yeah.
Let's see. I was trying to think.
Damn it. I had a point I was going to and I frickin' forgot it.
Hall of Famer Kellan Winslow was selected two picks after Exlerbinn.
Wow. Yeah. Yeah.
So yeah, about egg on your face.
Oh, yeah. Geez. Oh, oh, I remember what I was going to say.
Did you hear about Harrison Bucker?
I did not. He's out for at least three or four weeks.
He has a serious knee injury.
They signed a guy a guy off of somebody's practice squad, the Jets.
So hopefully the guy's decent, the guy from the Jets practice squad.
But I would like to remind everybody Harrison Bucker came from the Eagles practice squad when our guy went down.
Was it Santos or was it someone after that?
Oh, yeah. I remember who was before Bucker.
I think it might have been Suckup.
I think it was Suckup got hurt and we're like, oh, shit, everything's ruined.
And then we got Bucker and we're like, wait a minute, wait a minute.
This guy's better. Yeah.
So, you know, if this guy can just make the chip shots and maybe a little bit, I don't know, maybe a 40 yarder, we're fine.
We got to start finding the end zone anyhow.
That's just the way it is. So and especially against the Bills, we're going to have to find the end zone anyhow.
So there you go.
Well, you know, Justin Reed can place kick.
I know he kicked before when Bucker was out. He kicked like a 60 yarder, didn't he?
Yeah, he kicked a long one. He is good on kickoffs, too.
Yeah. Yeah. Well, he may be he might be the secret sauce when they really need one.
Yeah. This other guy might be doing Bucker getting hurt.
How did he get hurt? It didn't say it didn't say in the article.
Just said he had a serious knee injury. So I'm calling it bar fight.
Bar fight. Yep. Yeah.
Rumor has it he took a bottle after someone.
He crashed a bottle and took it to their throat and they hit him.
They Nancy Kerrigan him. Yeah. Yeah.
So, oh, no, no, no, no angry at him for for his conservative views and blamed him for Trump's win.
Yeah, that's it. Nancy Kerrigan on his leg.
Either that or his Raider fan. Who knows?
Or Bengals fan or Ravens fan or Bills man. Yeah. You name them.
San Francisco. No, it was a 49er fan. Nancy Kerrigan.
He was walking into Arrowhead and the assailant with a brown bag over his head, kind of like the unknown comic.
Look it up. Cracked him in the fucking knee. That's what happened. Yep.
Allegedly. What a world. What a world. What a world.
So and if you don't know Nancy Kerrigan, Google it.
If you don't know the unknown, unknown, I can't speak. Unknown comic. Google it.
All right. Number two, Las Vegas Raiders.
And you talked about this guy not too long ago. Jamarcus Russell.
Number one overall. Yeah. Well, I'm going to read what it says, but you already told the story behind it.
The real story. And if anyone remembers, he got screwed.
So anyhow, one of the biggest busts in league history, Russell was a colossal failure in Oakland.
Not only did Russell hold out in his rookie season, he batted off field problems and weight issues.
Russell completed just 52.1 percent of his passes for 4083 yards with 18 touchdowns to 23 interceptions in three seasons with the Raiders before being run out of the league.
Making thirty one point five million guaranteed. Isn't that great? Yeah. From his rookie deal.
I hope he did OK financially because he got he got no chance to play football in the league.
No honest shot. You know, normally I would I would say thirty one point five million.
There's no way. But bigger, bigger amounts of money been squandered by athletes.
So I hope he did, too. I hope he got a financial adviser and and did some investments, businesses or something.
I think that's one of the first things they do when they get a huge contracts, get a financial adviser.
Otherwise, you're going to get aid up with taxes. Yeah.
You got to start spreading that money around or the government will take it.
So he finished with the lowest quarterback rating, lowest completion percentage, fewest passing touchdowns and fewest passing yards among qualifying quarterbacks.
Yeah, we knew this, though. This is a Jamarcus Russell was a was kind of a big story because they were so sure that he was going to be huge.
Remember? Yeah. Yeah. So anyhow. OK.
And number one, and this could be predicted Los Angeles Chargers quarterback Ryan Leif.
He was San Diego at the time. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The meth head and everything else.
Remember when he got after a power quit it. Stop it. Yep. Because the reporters were. Yeah.
I think it's been coming into the league with he had a big drinking problem. He did.
It just degenerated from there and other substances. But it started with the drinking problem.
Yeah. And he never did pan out. Philip Rivers came in behind him and did a really good job.
But Philip Rivers was an oh, no, no, it wasn't Philip Rivers yet.
It was Breeze Drew Breeze came in behind him. Yes, that's right.
Drew Breeze is like a third round pick or something. One knee. He was down there a little ways.
Yeah. He was expected to be, you know, mediocre kind of, you know, bridge player back.
Yeah. And he turned out to be quite the starter. Yeah. Yeah.
And the only problem with Drew Breeze in San Diego is he was playing under Marty Schottenheimer.
Yeah. And then Spanos, the owner of the Chargers, I believe, got infuriated when Marty Schottenheimer
tried to hire his brother for defensive coordinator, Kurt Schottenheimer.
And he said, you know, you went 14 and two and you didn't make it to you lost the first playoff game.
Now you're trying to hire your fucking brother. And he fired him. Yeah.
But I still think the people that contend he was already with Alzheimer's and already did questionable stuff.
I think that might have been true. What do you think? Yeah, I definitely I definitely can see that because it's such a slow progressive disease that you need to go back years
before you really see it, you know, taking obvious effect. Yeah. Start looking at stuff because it could have just been intermittent here and there just enough to screw things up. Yeah.
And our minds are pretty good at rationalizing what we've already done. He probably was just he wasn't even thinking, you know, gee, why did I do that?
He was just thinking, well, I must have had a reason. You know what? It was the disease.
The rationalizing. You're right. The mind does that. The mind makes it good for you.
The mind's like, oh, you did this because of this. Remember? And, you know, it's glorified thinking or whatever revisionist thinking that you do on your own.
You're right. So in his own thought and world, he was like, yeah, OK, that was a good move.
It just didn't work out. Just like when he came in that playoff game and they had this they knew the winning formula.
They knew the secret sauce and they're all on board and everyone's practicing it all week in the day of the game or the day before.
He changes everything that would be consistent with someone with someone like Alzheimer's or dementia or something.
So, yeah, I think it started in Kansas City and progressed worse and worse.
And he's passed on now. But I remember they did an article, not an article, but actually a news snippet or whatever.
I think it was ESPN and they they talked to Marty Scheinheimer and they go, Marty, do you remember football?
Football. I'm serious. It was sad. Yeah. Yeah. Football. Do you remember being a football coach, Marty?
No, it was it was sad. He remembered nothing at that point.
The only thing he remembered his wife, Pat, and they go, Marty, who's your wife?
He goes, Pat. And then they start asking him some other questions, you know, about football.
And he had no recollection. So anyhow, it was a sad deal. Yeah.
It was really weird seeing this once big guy. I mean, even when he is a coach, he is a big guy. Yeah.
Yeah. And he was hard nosed and tough. He was the kind of guy that if he told you to do something, you fucking do it.
You know, like, OK, Marty, I'm on it. He played linebacker, didn't he? Yes.
At least in college, maybe even a shot at the pros.
I think he had a drink, a cup of coffee again. That that expression in the pros.
I'm picturing him in a Cleveland Browns uniform.
He coached the Browns before us, before Kansas City, Bernie Kozar, I believe, and that whole gang.
Yeah. Yeah. He did well there. But then again, he fell short in the playoffs.
And oh shit. What was that shitty ass owner of theirs? Art Modell.
Yeah. Art Modell got rid of them and then got somebody even worse.
So anyhow, yeah. So anyhow, that's the end of the list.
I could have went into Ryan Leaf's stats, but we all know he sucked.
We know he's number one that you don't need to know anything else. Google it. Yeah.
So all right. Do you have something you want to go into or do you want to do the Chris Collinsworth, John Madden?
What was the first choice? The Chris Collinsworth, John Madden.
They're both together. Yeah. OK.
And then there's one Greg Olson, too, but the rest are Collinsworth and Madden quotes.
OK, so the whole thing, the whole object of this sports master's things is we make fun of the horrible,
the dumbest things that commentators say. And I mean, in full disclosure, though, they have all this time to fill.
Right. Wouldn't it be easy to say something stupid like this? Yeah.
You're bound to say a few things. Yeah.
Yeah. This is unscripted. You're sitting there and the ballgame is going shitty and it's boring.
So you got to come up with stuff on the spot, make it interesting.
And, you know, Chris Collinsworth says something homoerotic and then John Madden says something just obvious.
Yeah. If you win, it's a win. If you lose, it's a loss. You know, so.
No, I don't think Chris is homosexual at all. I just think that he does.
He he doesn't know how to word stuff properly because everybody has a dirty mind except him, I guess.
So he doesn't really hear what he's saying, does he?
No, he doesn't. I'll bet you he cringes afterwards.
And when he reads the Internet, he's probably like, oh, well, there's been a few times.
And damn it, who's this sidekick? Toreco, Mike Toreco.
And before Al Michaels, they would kind of like and then kind of go into something else that meant.
Forget that. You know, do you remember what I'm saying?
They kind of clear their throat, kind of like, OK, moving on, you know, pretty much like that.
And, you know, that's on the seven seconds delay.
Maybe that clearing of the throat is, you know, hey, hit the button that dumps the last seven seconds.
Oh, that could be that throat clearing could be it could be like it could be recorded in that seven seconds.
It'd be like, OK, do a throat clearing and no one will think anything about it.
You know, allergies. Yeah. So it's like a seven second buffer.
And they can just they can with now I'm sure it's a click of a mouse, but you can you can dump that seven seconds.
You have to fill in for the regain it.
But yeah, you said something wrong in there. It's gone forever.
Yeah, yeah. And they have the ability on the spot to fill in to now.
You know, you have to catch up with the seven seconds and all that.
But so in other words, everything runs at least seven seconds.
There had been morning shows like both Love Sponge and some other ones,
some of the like the most controversial ones that they ran 13 seconds on because they were that afraid of what they're going to say.
So but generally at seven seconds and that goes with the it's like sevens kind of like the key,
the seven dirty words that you cannot say on the air that will get you fired from everywhere and banned forever.
Yeah. Yeah. And anyhow, I love George Carlin's making fun of him.
Oh, my gosh. And and a lot of radio shows have done this.
But one of the funniest things is whenever they say cock and cock, you know, and then one of them, they bleep.
Yeah, they go, hey, look at my cock. Doesn't he have a great mane or whatever?
Yeah, he's a great bird. And then, hey, look at my cock beep.
And it's like, how come I got beat? Well, it's because your intent.
What do you mean my intent? It's the same word.
Well, the FCC doesn't like that because you said it in a certain way.
What do you mean? I said it and they did it.
All these words that have to like Dick, it's like, hey, here's my friend, Dick.
Man, that guy's a dick beep. It's like, hey, it's funny.
I've heard it on many different morning shows and it gets a point across very well.
It's like, what a double standard that the FCC does.
And I'm sure there's an AI that's doing all that now trying to figure out exactly what you meant.
And oh, I'm sure there is, too. It's all AI, I'm sure.
Now, I mean, I love AI, all these different voices I get to make like the Harambe bit.
Hey, did you hear the new one I did? Yeah. Yeah. Did you like that?
The Harambe used to listen to our first show, two dipshits and a cheap radio shack, Tandy recorder.
Oh, no, I haven't heard that one. I say it four times in that bit.
It's so annoying. I go Harambe used to listen to our first show, two dipshits and a cheap radio shack, Tandy recorder.
Harambe doesn't listen to our first show and two dipshits and a cheap radio shack, Tandy recorder anymore.
Now, why doesn't Harambe listen to our first show, two dipshits and a cheap radio shack, Tandy recorder?
It is it's just the kind of thing that makes you want to punch the fucking screen.
People probably got to listen that and it was in their head the rest of the day.
They're like, fuck, how do I get rid of this shit? So, OK, we'll go on to this.
OK, the number one comment goes to Chris Collins worth.
OK, this is when it really gets hard. Bosa is always coming on the back end.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, that's all.
Like I said, the awful.
He must be as pure as pure as the driven snow, not realizing what he just said.
I mean in the middle of that would you like be like oh
Hit the dome, you know
Okay, the next one he must really like Joey Bosa that's Bosa creating pressure that gives other opportunity
He's always sucking somebody off
That was Chris Collins work too
How would you like to be Bosa what the fuck
Yeah, if you're speaking on television you pretty much never use the word suck it just you know, there's other words you can use
It's supposed to be let's see they they have a word for suck
Stinks they say say say stinks instead of sucks. Oh this guy sucks. You're supposed to say that guy stinks
That it's it's supposed to be an alternate word cuz suck has so many connotations, you know, yeah
Yeah, they don't like you saying suck because that can go anywhere obviously like it did on this
He's always sucking somebody off does not sound very good
Okay, next one this is Collins worth also I don't want to compare him to Ray Lewis proceeds to compare him to Ray Lewis
He's done that
Yeah, he's I don't want to compare to Ray Lewis and then he starts talking about how he's just like Ray Lewis
And I've heard Collins work do that before I don't want to compare to somebody then he starts comparing him
And it's like I thought you didn't want to
so anyhow
Collins worth also said this Lamar just got scissored. Oh
Yeah, yeah, I remember I actually remember that one I remember that one I'm like, oh that's gonna make the press
Okay, this is a two-parter. This is a conversation Greg Olson says five down and three linebackers
Kevin Burkhart impressive counting
You talk about a wry smart-ass answer
I don't think he liked I don't think he liked Greg Olson very well
This is one of my favorite by John Madden and I've heard this before if they don't win they'll lose
I've heard him say that a couple of times if they don't win they're gonna lose
I've heard him say that a couple of times if they don't win they're gonna lose so weird. Yeah
Again he's filling space he is an old man and his fill in space. He didn't know what you know
Okay, when you put 12 guys on the field, they should be 12 guys
Terry Bradshaw
Hmm what are you trying to say?
I think maybe there's 13 guys on the field or 11. It didn't tell what context is just stupid quotes
So I bet you there are 13 guys on the field
They threw the flag and he goes when you put 12 guys on the field, they should be 12 guys
That's the way I think it was meant wouldn't it wouldn't that be most logical?
Yeah, that's the only way it really makes sense unless one of them was a woman
Yeah, that's true. It could be
But how likely is that?
but how likely is that
Yeah, yeah that probably not this one I love is by Greg Olson owns this one
I don't I don't think the line the linebacker lying on the ground made the tackle. Oh
No, no, that's Chris Collins worth. Sorry. I don't think the linebacker lying on the ground made the tackle. Yeah
I would say so since the tackle was probably 10 yards away and he's on the ground
This next one is Greg Olson if I had a crystal ball, I would tell you who is gonna win beforehand
And that was Greg Olson
This next one is good because I've heard the phrase before like bad company has a song that says it I think rock and roll fantasy
This is John madness said this the crowd was so loud. You couldn't really hear them
No, because bad companies rock and roll fantasies and music so loud you couldn't hear the crowd is what they say in it oh
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's similar but not the same thing. Yeah
Um, this last one is Greg Olson and it's really good if you rush for 110 yards that puts you in triple digits
Captain obvious
Thanks, Greg
So what you're telling me 110 is triple digits Greg. Is that what you're saying?
Hang on. Hang on. Hang on. Stop the press. Everybody hold your track. Hold your track. Come here. Come here. Listen to this
Okay, all right. Well, do we go into music creeps now or you want to keep doing sports?
I don't have any bullet points written out is the problem right now unless you can think of something you want to discuss
No, not right off hand. I'm ready to go to the music creep
Okay, and then the dad football joke puns we can do next Tuesday
Okay. All right. That's how good
So, yeah, I'm kind of excited about the new music creeps
So there's your second half of the sports bastards like we promised so now here is the music creeps
So, all right, you got something you want to go into Topher. I think you do don't you? Yeah
Yeah, something that it happened last August, but I just learned about it recently
is the
founder of Mesa Boogie
Amplifier company Randall Smith has been fired by his own company
Three years ago Mesa Boogie was bought by Gibson
And Gibson released a statement saying oh, yeah, he's great. We love him. We're gonna his
Inspiration will guide us in the future blah blah, but there's no quote from Randall
Smith and no reason given why he's suddenly gone
So that kind of tells everybody that there was a big fight in Gibson fired him. I think you're right
I mean, I don't know how else that would have parlayed out. I mean, that's the only thing that really makes sense, doesn't it?
Yeah, and that plays into the worst fears of a lot of people when Gibson bought them
They were worried that Gibson was gonna change everything about Mesa and
They wouldn't have the Mesa sound anymore and Gibson said oh no, no everyone's gonna stay there
No one's losing their jobs and well now Randall Smith is gone
I mean, there's the heart and soul behind it. He started the company. Yeah
So now I think Mesa is gonna start becoming more of a Gibsonized guitar amp
Yeah, I think I think I think the
Pre-2021 Mesa's are probably getting a lot more valuable than the post. I think you're right
That always happens too. So yeah
Yeah, you know big big business swallows smaller business and then it becomes a different product. So
Coincidentally, we're talking about John Deere quite a bit and you know
And then moving to Mexico the backlash has been something else
They're already talking about coming back to America already
Wow, they haven't even completely moved to Mexico. They just have the place up
It's not even running yet
And I guess like every farmer around took some sort of a pledge and like send it into him said I will not buy John Deere
I will not buy John Deere and I like it's like thousands of farmers and they go like I own
30,000 acres here in Texas and I want to buy a whole bunch of them
I own 30,000 acres here in Texas and I will never buy a John Deere product again
And then another guy's like I have a hundred thousand acres in Tennessee
I will not buy another John Deere again and they send it into them
Nice. Yeah, I love that a lot of farmers also will lease or rent the John Deere
So the places that you know stock a bunch of them for people to lease and rent
They're probably thinking, you know, no one's gonna do it. We've just got this dead inventory here
Yes
That was probably part of the threads. We're not gonna rent them or lease them either
I'm sure it is. I'm sure it is because they're meaning business
So I love it though. You know, I'll tell you what is a strike back and it's excellent
It's like okay, you want to do this? Well, here's what we're gonna do
And it was an organized effort, which I love more
And it's a good lesson, you know, just enough people pushing back in a peaceful way
And look how they're backpedaling
Yeah, yep. Yep. And allegedly, I forgot where I read this on
But I thought it was a pretty reliable website
So if I'm wrong, I'm sorry, but I think I'm right on this. I think it did happen
So yeah, it's not April 1st or anything. So it's probably true
Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm thinking too. No one would have a reason to make that shit up, you know
So anyhow, were you going somewhere else with the Mesa Boogie or do you want to go to something else?
No, that was all I pretty much had. I had looked up some stuff about the history of the company
And it's evolution over time, but the basic thing was it's just odd that he started the company
And he's been a tartan soul and for some bizarre, undecided reason, suddenly he's thrown out
Yeah, usually whenever they do that, they have like a clause
Like they can't get rid of him for 10 years and he has to be vice president of relations, you know what I mean?
Oh yeah, yeah, maybe they had to keep him for three years after the takeover
And then they were finally able to dump him and now they can use cheaper components
Or outsource to China or Singapore or wherever they get stuff now
Yeah, I think that that's probably, that could be what happened. I mean it could be anything
But you know, usually whenever they sell a company, they're like, okay, I'm going to sell this all to you
But you have to keep me on the payroll for five years or whatever
Oh yeah, as far as I know, Mesa has never had any kind of import line
It's all been American made and you know, for the high dollar
So maybe that's what's coming next is the cheap Chinese import version of Mesa
I hope not because people bought Mesa boogies because they were what they were, you know?
Yeah, I mean you'll still probably get the good high dollar stuff
But it won't be as meaningful anymore because there's cheap ass stuff out there too
Yeah, they'll be like the Stratocaster Squire. I think it's a Squire. It's like the overseas version
Imagine if Harley had had a Chinese made import motorcycle with the Harley name on it
It's named Charlie
Hey, you know what? You can't afford a Harley. We got this Charlie over here
I mean, yeah, it looks like it
And Charlie, you know, we all know the yeah, you know, they used to call us Charlie, which was really brilliant
They studied our language and our names really well, I could tell you that it's like to come up with Charlie
All right, well I've got the top 10 music hoaxes
According to class music dot com clash CLASH like the band The Clash
I remember some of these and I remember not believing a lot of these because I was smarter than that
But I know a lot of people are going around going, you know what I mean?
Remember like those rumors that would go around and
Yeah, definitely. Yeah, like Rod Stewart and the Chode all that stuff. Remember that?
It was like no that didn't happen. And also they're letting people spread that around because that is free
Free publicity you don't have to pay for
Yeah, it gets people to remember your name
Yeah, it's just like Alice Cooper. Was it killing chickens on stage or something?
And he goes no I didn't but man, I you know, I hope they keep talking about it or something like that
Right. He's like let her think I did it
Yeah, he wrote that pretty well, didn't he?
He did. He was smart enough to go. Yeah, I I didn't do it. But don't say anything act like I did do it
Every kid around like that's a guy that kills chickens on stage. Yeah. Oh shit. I love him
Anything to make the parents hate the music? Yeah, the teenagers would buy more of it
I mean Aerosmith thanked the PMRC for putting a warning label on their album
Yeah, they said thanks. You just let us sell another million albums
Yeah, that's like putting an R rating on the movie. Yeah, a lot of people are going to see it
A G rating or a PG. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, it was the same thing and Aerosmith was smart enough to realize this
They're like fine put that could you put that on some old albums too, please?
That's probably why we had so many reissues of older albums
They would reissue them on CD and then they would earn them the label because they would have to get reevaluated
I'm sure that was part of it. Yeah, or if not all of it. Yeah, I bet you're right
So, yeah, okay for something to happen when you can make it happen yourself
Exactly. And then you had idiots like that. I think they called themselves the Washington wives
With tipper Gore and all those fucking idiots. Yep. And I remember
Shit I was trying to think of who tore them up so bad and they didn't even understand it
John Denver did. John Denver did. Frank Zappa destroyed them. D. Snyder did
Yeah. Yeah, it was excellent because you could see that this PMRC didn't have a clue to what they were saying
You know, and it was going to be some great big photo op and yes boost and they ran into a gigantic woodchipper
Yeah, they thought these metal artists per se were stupid
That's what they thought they thought they could walk all over him and these drug inhaling fucking zombies would won't do anything
But what they got was these guys were more intelligent than them
And we weren't really and they weren't really into all of their majesty of political office is like screw you guys
You're just married to the people who work for us because we voted him in
Yeah, and actually I think Al was probably like pitch. Can you please fucking stop that?
I'm trying to get on with this Clinton dude for trying to get on the Clinton tip over here and you're fucking things up you bitch
They're divorced now anyhow in that weird I think you're like late 60s. I got a divorce
So anyhow, yeah, anyhow, fuck him. Let's see. Yeah, they're idiots
If it has a gore name behind it, it's an idiot. So yeah, pretty much. Yep. Okay
And I don't care if you're Democrat or Republican. I think we can all agree Al Gore and his wife are idiots
Right. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. All right. I think even the biggest liberal will go. Yeah, that guy's that guy's an idiot
So yeah. Yeah. All right. Number 10 Coldplay records in space. I remember this one
They said they recorded in space complete lie. Yeah. Yeah. Remember that it was a complete lie
We've been searching for the right environment to record the perfect snare drum sound for many years now
And I just got a gut feeling the zero gravity is a place to do that. You know, we figured we just post this one
Verbatim so you could assess it for yourself the amount of stupidity it requires a person they have to actually believe it
Oh my god. Stadium pop-boar merchant plagiarist and advocate of global peace Chris Martin
They said this not me. Okay, Chris Martin released that that statement to Coldplay.com last April 1st
And even this was just a rare display of Chris's sense of humor clashes all in favor of and that's the website of sending the band into deep space where no one can hear Viva La Vida
I would agree. I would agree. Next one. And I remember this one too. I remember this one well because Oz one was good. Now, I'm sure that didn't happen
But if it does, what the fuck? Bezsor joins Led Zeppelin. Do you remember that one? No. Okay, I'll go into but Zorc also managed to I think in that how you it ended up being
The Zorc in there. I think so. I think that's what it ended up being. The Zorc. Okay, but Zorc also managed to surprise global fans by announcing she would replace Robert Plant on vocal duties and with the Led Zeppelin for a tour in June
Now, this is supposed to be, of course, a reunion tour that the reunion tour wasn't even in the works at all. They had no plans on doing it. But they made up a reunion tour
So like when they found out Bezsor wasn't part of it, they were happy. Oh good. It's gonna be Robert Plant. No, there was no reunion
So all these clever though, it is a clever trick. All these Zeppelin fans are going. Oh, great. We're gonna have Robert Plant like I wanted. It's like, we got something else to tell you too. Yeah, what? They're in the tour
That was like one of those like in depth double like a fucking triple dept deck cake, you know, it's like it's like so deep in deception. You can't even cut through it. Yeah. Number eight. I don't remember this one, but I believe it. Miley Cyrus dies
No, I don't think I remember hearing that one. But then again, all sorts of rumors that all sorts of people dying. So if I if I heard that it was during the Internet age and I probably would have went straight to the Internet and looked and and was like, oh, that's bullshit. So if I did hear it, I'm pretty sure I didn't believe it like you. So yeah, probably the least funny practical joke on this list. The sinister hoax spread across the Internet like a forest fire. A hacker managed to convince the Internet to stop the
Thousands of teenagers that pop annoying little sister Miley Cyrus. That's Hannah Montana. Okay. Had died in a road collision with a truck. The Joker pretended to be a traumatized friend of the Disney star on YouTube's Miley and Mandy show.
Her hordes of underage fans didn't suffer too many sleepless nights that turned in on their Hannah Montana bedsheets. She appeared on a chat show two days later to confirm that she was indeed alive and annoying as ever.
Maybe you can help me with this. This one. I don't know this one at all. And I don't know what it let me just go into number seven. Nine Inch Nails release Timbaland produced album. Who is Timbaland?
Oh, I remember that that name.
I think he was something from the rap and hip hop world.
Okay. Okay. Here, let me go into it. It describes it, I guess, well enough. Perhaps the most believable this year is April Fool's jokes.
Nine Inch Nails announced a new album available for free download, which he has been doing that Trent Reznor has been giving everything out for free on the Internet.
The Timbaland produced strobe light album featured Trent Reznor on the album artwork wearing Kanye West style glasses. The the ubiquitous and and fucking annoying Shutter Shades.
This happened. They're saying this, not me. This happened a few days after Reznor voices disdain about Chris Cornell's Timbaland produced Montessori scream.
Boasting tracks like Everybody's Doing It featuring Chris Martin. I was unaware of this. Jay Z and Bono and Pussygrinder featuring Sheryl Crow.
It could have been the crossover hit of the century had Trent stop so stoop so low to record it. So Timbaland had something to do with Chris Cornell.
I could kind of see that that that kind of rock to rap crossover to happen.
Well, the thing we could do it would be him. I remember even Chris Cornell doing something with Alice Cooper.
Yeah, it was a stolen prayer.
Yeah, it was a it was a phenomenal song that album. But see, Tommy Lee also got into hip hop.
Yeah, that's right.
George Lynch did at least one album that was really hip hop influence.
Yeah, George Lynch did briefly. Now he's back on rock. But now he just did his final tour with Lynch Bob, not Dawkin.
And Don Dawkin is touring his Dawkin. But I think he is the only remaining member.
A friend of mine put up on Facebook about three days ago, I guess he went to Springfield, Missouri.
Dawkin did to play somewhere. He said that Don Dawkin was so drunk he couldn't hardly stand up.
Oh, that's a shame.
It is because Don Dawkin used to sound spot on.
He was a great singer.
He was a great singer. So anyhow, Jim Morrison, number six is Jim Morrison is alive and a cowboy.
And not the not the horrible not the horrible football team.
In the mid 90s, a ludicrous video surfaced on the Internet claiming that Jim Morrison did not die in Paris, but was alive and well working as a cowboy in Oregon.
It was Gerald Pitts says that that said he discovered Jim Morrison living on a ranch in the Pacific Northwest in the summer of 1998.
The Lizard King apparently faked his own death to avoid a French French assassination plot, despite the fact that the cowboy looked as much like Jim Morrison as a jar of jam.
Didn't stop hordes of fans from going apeshit.
OK, Jim Morrison has always been claimed to be alive and he's always been claimed to be in in seclusion somewhere that he freaked out.
He didn't want the life anymore. He didn't want to be famous.
So he went to so he went to Paris act like he died.
They buried him, but it wasn't him.
There's like nobody in the grave or whatever or who knows.
This had been going on for a long time and it wasn't just this right here because there's been several hoaxes about that.
Remember? I mean, yeah, I remember growing up.
I always heard Elvis and Jim Morrison were alive.
And you know, they kind of did a whole movie about Jim Morrison being alive and they called it Eddie and the Cruisers.
Oh, yeah, that's right. That's a good point.
They did. That was kind of based on the doors.
Yeah, yeah, I mean, it was kind of not quite so.
Oh, very loosely based. Yeah, that's it right there.
So, yeah, but it was.
And I remember the talk about it.
It was based on him loosely.
Number five, the White Stripes are brother and sister.
I still thought they were.
Yeah, yeah, they perpetuated that one for a long time.
I don't know why they decided to say that.
But you know what they should have done is they should have went out and like fucking deep kissed just to freak everybody out.
Yeah, we're brother and sister, but like we're really close.
Hey, that's not illegal.
It's like when did Tom Brady, everyone's giving him shit for kissing his son on the mouth.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, that's a preference to me.
I don't know. I don't think so.
But I mean, you know what?
I mean, you love your kid.
It obviously isn't sexual.
It isn't creepy.
And, you know, I don't give a shit if that's the way you show your affection.
That's completely fine with me.
But it would have been fun.
There's some benefit to sharing your immune system with your child.
You know, and Tom one gets sick, the other gets sick, and then you both have a stronger immune system.
That's true.
And Tom Brady would be the type of guy that would do that like that because he knew.
He's obviously very intelligent, but I think he's more intelligent than people give him credit for, honestly.
Yeah, we only see the public version of Tom Brady.
I'm sure there's a whole different Tom Brady that we know nothing about.
I think so, too.
Just the way he talks, you can tell his intelligence because of the way that he words stuff and how he words stuff.
You know what I mean?
He he's very reserved and he thinks a lot about what he's going to say.
He doesn't just blurt something out.
So any like, oh, boy, you know what?
I'm surprised there's not.
I'm going to have to look at up Romo's rap sheet about saying stupid shit.
Yeah, I have.
I know they're out there.
I just got to find them.
OK, maybe page after page.
There's probably too many pages.
So like Google holds it back going, don't give this to him.
It's too many.
All right. Number five, the White Stripes are brother and sister.
Like I said, ever since their sudden rise to fame with white blood cells in 2001.
Wow, that's 2001, dude.
The while it doesn't seem like it does it?
No, the band claimed to be brother and sister.
This made believable thanks to their similar appearance and intimate life live performances.
That's true. They did look alike.
Yeah, in truth, the band are actually a former husband and wife duo with a savvy brother and sister story.
Jack claimed the idea of the ploy was to divert media attention away from their relationship in favor of their music.
I could get that.
You know what? Yeah, yeah, I could see that.
So anyhow, goes on to say their ambiguous their ambiguous relationship just became as it was.
But then, you know, and then really what's his name?
He started doing his own music and I don't even know if the White Stripes are still around, are they?
I don't think so.
No, what's his name?
It doesn't say here.
He does his own music now and he's rather I mean, he was big or somewhat big.
Yeah, I'm blanking on the name.
Something fairly simple.
It is like black or something.
Yeah.
Oh, well, him, the White Stripe guy.
Okay.
Number four, Thomas Pichen is a lotion groupie.
Pinching, maybe it's pinching.
P-Y-N-C-H-O-N Thomas Pinching.
Yeah.
Thomas Pinching is a lotion groupie.
New Yorker journalist Andrew Essex fell for a hilarious public publicity stunt when mid 90s Manhattan indie group Lotion told the journalists that the reclusive author was an obsessive groupie.
Pinching, writer of surreal works such as Gravity's Rainbow apparently was goofy and wore a Godzilla t-shirt and ill-fitting pants.
The first time he met the band, he allegedly followed them across the country sharing conversations about ecstasy and always paid restaurant bills in cash.
It's amazing to think that the poor journalists fell for such a Pitching-esque yarn.
They later revealed that they had met him once in less surreal circumstances and later asked him to write a liner note for their album.
So this guy made all this shit up and everybody believed him.
Wow.
Yeah.
That's pretty cool.
I kind of respect it.
Do it as long as you can get away with it.
Why not?
Yeah.
That's what I say too.
Yeah.
Hell yeah.
Do it.
If your bosses are stupid like that, give it to them.
Number three, the Hives Six member.
I don't remember this at all and I barely remember the Hives.
You?
No.
Okay.
Well known for their daft antics, it's hard to know what to believe about the Hives mysterious six member.
The Sevigal-like Randy Fitzsimmons is allegedly the brains behind the band who doesn't like to be seen in public.
According to the Hives, he takes care of songwriting, wardrobe choices and management.
However, when NME revealed that, I think that's a record company, right?
NME.
Yeah.
Revealed that Randy Fitzsimmons is a registered pseudonym of guitarist Nicholas Arson, who has generally been assumed that there is no such person and that it is Arson who writes the songs.
The band still maintains that Fitzsimmons exists, so the myth lives on, but people are gradually losing interest.
I never had interest, but I do like that.
You know, yeah, we got this guy that does everything, but you can't see him.
That's pretty handy thing to have because you never have to explain choices.
No, it was like, hey, you know, this guy, you know, and you can't talk to him.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He he doesn't like public appearances, but he did it.
It was like my friend, Davey.
He used to walk up behind people, you know, people he knew and smack him in the back of the head.
And then when they turn around, he go, I didn't do it.
And I go, yeah, you did.
You're the only one there.
No, no, no.
It was him.
Oh, he's gone now.
They'd be like, it had to been you, there's no one. No, there was a guy. He came up and did it.
He's gone. Prove me wrong.
People get so pissed.
I know is you.
It was not.
It was him.
Number two, Beatles, Rolling Stones and Dylan Supergroup or Dylan.
Everyone calls him Dylan.
Supposedly, I read that his name is actually pronounced Dylan, but everyone calls him Dylan.
So I'm going to go with Dylan in 1969, Rolling Stone editor, Greal Marcus wrote.
What a name.
What a first name Greal.
Greal Marcus wrote a spoof review of a non existent.
Hang on one second here.
All right.
So in 1969, Greal Marcus wrote a spoof.
What happened here was I had to go let my wife in.
So that's why I'm rereading everything.
But you didn't hear that because I put it on pause.
So in 1969, Rolling Stone editor Greal Marcus Greal.
What a name.
Wrote a spoof review of a non existent bootleg of a super group.
I love this.
The Masqueraders comprised of members of the Beatles, Rolling Stones and Bob Dylan intended as a playful swipe at recent super group trend.
Probably like Emerson, Lake and Palmer, you know, and all those.
Remember all those?
Yeah.
Asia was one.
OK, so that was yeah, I love them.
Weren't they good?
They were.
It was Roy Roy Orbison, Bob Dylan and who else?
Tom Petty, Tom Petty, Jeff Lin, Jeff Lin.
Man, there's a fifth guy, George Harrison, George Harrison.
Well, most of them are dead now.
Most of them are not around.
Wow.
Yeah.
Yeah, boy.
I mean, they're that whole album was just fantastic.
I wish they would have did several albums.
So yeah, Roy Orbison's voice is they said that Roy Orbison.
If he was good looking, he would have been bigger than Elvis.
I think so.
You really had that career voice.
Oh, he did.
His voice was just something out of this world.
You'll get a voice like that just every day.
And yeah, but there's one big thing.
His look.
Yeah, I did not have the movie star look.
No, he was not a very handsome man.
Probably a very nice man.
It sounds great listening to him.
But the ladies went to go look at his picture was like, uh, so anyhow,
God rest your soul, Roy Orbison.
You were awesome.
So OK, so anyhow, this didn't stop review being taken seriously by fans,
record stores and get this, the artist managers believe this.
Oh, my God.
That's pretty good.
We can get the management fall for it.
Yeah, that's like Babel snatch.
We got the the what was it?
The region manager to fucking look that that ordered Babel snatch.
And I still don't do this day know how he ordered it because it was never real.
So yeah.
Oh, my God.
The only thing I could think of is he's trying to appease him and he goes,
Oh, yeah, I got it ordered.
And then he's going to go find it.
Yeah, it had to been something like that because he could not have found it.
So anyhow, and anyhow, finally, I got bored and just left.
I was like, OK, OK, anyhow, several musicians and impersonators
to record a mass marauders album.
They had it.
The hoax wasn't successful enough.
So they had imposters do this mass marauders marauders album.
So I guess they're in mass feature and instant classics such as Jagger singing.
I can't get no nookie was released on Warner Brothers.
OK, it was a spoof and everybody knew it.
OK, and sold over 100000 copies with many global fans.
Oh, no.
Many global fans still believe that was still the real deal.
And that is how you pull off rock and roll hoax.
Wow.
Oh, I love that one.
That deserved be number two because the number one one does deserve it.
And I think you could probably guess it.
Who do you think is number one?
Oh, I was going to guess John Lennon is dead.
Paul McCartney.
Yeah.
Paul McCartney.
Yeah, Paul McCartney.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, you met Paul McCartney, didn't you?
Yeah, John Lennon is the one who supposedly perpetrated it.
Yes.
Yeah.
But the thing that gets me is the drummer.
Fuck, I forgot his name now.
Ringo.
Ringo Starr said that it was true a few years back.
Yeah.
I'm trying to figure out the angle of why he would say it's true unless it was true.
Do you have any idea at all?
When the government came out and said that aliens were real, that that was to distract us from COVID.
Yeah.
I know everyone's busy with COVID.
Let's go ahead and tell them that, yeah, UFOs and aliens are real.
And we knew about it all along.
Everyone forgot all about it.
They did.
They did because people are dropping like flies and everybody's looking that way.
And now their government can say, we told you guys, and people are going to go, you did?
So, yeah.
No, they said that.
And they actually have bodies is what they said, didn't they?
Yeah.
Yeah, that's crazy.
You know, I mean, the stuff that we used to have, the science fiction, so much of it became true out of somebody's mind.
But it was actually true.
Yeah.
And then a lot of people say, well, that's where they got the idea because the information leaked out.
Ah, that could be.
Never thought about that.
OK.
So anyhow, Paul McCartney is dead.
And I think everybody knows it because the hoax was, you know, was it Sergeant Pepper's video where they keep trying to put Paul in the ground that he keeps jumping out of the ground?
They keep putting him down?
I think so, yeah.
And then in Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band song, you know, which is comprised of what three different songs put together a day in the life.
And yeah, yeah.
He goes.
He blew his mind out in a car.
He didn't notice that the light has changed.
So they had it on Sergeant Pepper's album.
They have a puppet of Paul McCartney with his Astro Martin in his lap.
The Astro Martin that he supposedly wrecked and killed himself.
Yeah.
And and then in some of the basque masking, back masking, it said Paul is dead.
I miss him so several times.
Yeah.
It was one album, one between tracks where you can hear a voice saying, I buried Paul.
I buried Paul.
I forgot about that one.
Yes.
Yeah.
And supposedly it was a hoax, they said it was this Canadian cop, one of Paul McCartney, look and sound like contest.
And they said that he disappeared right after that.
No one knows where he went.
And then they.
Yeah.
I mean, I just find it incredible that he can write music as good as Paul McCartney.
Man, did they hit the jackpot?
The guy looks, sounded and can write music just like Paul.
Yeah.
So do a tongue swipe.
I think you're the one that said it right.
Do a tongue swipe.
We'll find out if it's Paul.
Yeah.
Check the DNA.
Yeah.
Check the DNA.
You'll know if it's Paul or not.
You know, Paul has some sons.
Yeah.
So there's all sorts of extended members of Paul McCartney's family still alive out there.
Yeah.
Compare the DNA and see if he's from the same family or not.
Yeah.
Yep.
Yeah.
That's what I say, too.
Yep.
I'm relatively sure that they could not get a guy to write music as good as Paul McCartney.
Yeah.
They could not get a guy to sound just like him and look just like him.
Oh, and that was it.
They said when this cop became Paul McCartney, allegedly, he had a scar on his right cheek
that wasn't there before.
Mm-hmm.
They'd had to been there for years.
It was a scar from many years ago that was still there that wouldn't go away.
Yeah.
I've never looked.
I never cared to look, but I remember hearing that.
So anyhow, OK, it says here, OK, Paul is dead hoax despite how ludicrous it is.
The Smiths still captivates many Beatles fans and conspiracy theorists to this day.
That's true.
I still hear about it.
Rumors that Paul McCartney...
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, well, I mean, Ringo started doing any favors a few years ago when he said it
was true.
Yeah, and at the time, the FBI actually investigated.
They had a serious investigation.
Oh, that's right.
And, you know, there are lots and lots of pages.
Freedom of information, you can go look that up, the FBI investigation into Paul McCartney's
supposedly death and the imposter.
And they found this, they found out the FBI investigation way later, too.
Nobody knew it happened at the time.
Right.
And so, yeah.
So anyhow, like you said, the Freedom of Information Act that President Clinton signed is one of
the best things that have been signed in a long time.
Yeah.
That thing there is gold because you can look up anything.
You can look up anything.
It's a freedom of information.
It should be like that.
So...
Yeah, yeah.
When you think about it, the government should be limited on what things they can keep secret
from us.
Exactly.
They should be limited on what things they can keep secret from us.
Yeah, because they work for us, there should be full disclosure.
And that's just the way it is.
So, you know, just like someone coming in and punching a time clock on your business, they
have to be, you know, they have to adhere to what you say.
They have to be there.
They have to, you know, it should be the same for the government.
And you have the right to search their locker in the locker room.
Yes.
It's all in the paperwork that you signed.
So, Congress should be no different.
Yeah.
Rumors of Paul McCartney died in a car crash in 1966, was replaced by a lookalike, soundalike,
began to circulate before DJ Russell Gibb announced his theory on Detroit radio based
on his theory on evidence hidden in Beatles songs, films, and album artwork.
Now you see, that was a DJ that probably had access to the Beatles, right?
So...
Yeah.
I think the chances are the Beatles said, hey, come here, Gibbs, how would you like to do this for us?
Here's an envelope.
That's probably how it got started.
They had this DJ do it for him.
He's probably friends with him.
And he was a DJ in Detroit.
So, okay, he does it in Detroit and then someone hears it in Detroit and then they record it or something.
And then they take it to Chicago.
And then it goes to Kansas City.
It goes to the West Coast, you know?
So then the next thing you know, everybody thinks Paul is dead.
It's brilliant.
Brilliant to this day.
So...
Yeah.
As I recall, the FBI investigation found enormous amounts of evidence that things had been intentionally
planted into photographs and staged in movies and put into songs to hint that Paul McCartney was dead.
Yes.
It's not like it was all just coincidence or accident.
It's like, no, definitely somebody is doing this.
So definitely somebody is doing all this intentionally.
But they said there is zero evidence that Paul McCartney ever was killed and replaced.
Yeah.
I mean...
All we've got is all these hints and allegations, but anyone could do that about anybody.
So it doesn't prove anything.
Well, number one, there would have to be a death certificate.
Yeah.
I don't care who you are.
Yeah.
So unless you're like some unknown guy that lived in the woods, there's a death certificate when you die.
It should not be that hard to look up.
It is a public record.
So that right there, no one ever showed a death certificate online, anywhere that I know of, would tell me that that's probably a lie.
I mean, even the Beatles could not probably get around that, I don't think.
You know?
And I'm always the fan for the simplest solution, and I think the simplest solution is John Lennon,
in his well-known feud with Paul McCartney, was symbolically killing Paul McCartney.
I've heard that...
He was pretending in his mind that he had killed him and then leaving clues about how he died and all that.
It was just like a stress relief for John Lennon to keep working with McCartney.
It's like, ah, well, in my mind, I've already killed you.
And that's the way John worked, too.
If you read about John, that's the way he worked.
He was a very confused, frustrated individual.
Brilliant musically, but his personal life was in tatters.
He did stuff like this.
He did it out of self-preservation so he could keep working with McCartney, but in the end, it didn't work out.
They had to go their own ways.
But John Lennon is the type of guy that would have done that.
And I'm not dogging him.
He had abandonment issues and other things, supposedly, right?
So, yeah, so, I mean, naturally, self-preservation, if he doesn't like working with this guy,
he's going to go into duck mode, like putting his head down and going,
well, I killed him in my mind, so he's not there.
It's actually a pretty good coping mechanism.
It doesn't hurt anybody and it flexes your creativity.
And then every time he heard a Beatles song, he's like, haha, there's that little bit I put in where you see a picture.
And he's like, oh, there are all the clues I put on.
Yeah, like you said, it's very clever.
And also, I commend him for trying to work with Paul like that.
He could have said, fuck it, way before.
He could have just said, you know, I'm John Lennon and people will follow me.
People will follow you, too.
But people will follow me.
I'll be OK.
No matter what I do, I'm going to have a career.
Everybody knew it.
I mean, I went to the yoga with telling him to walk away from the moment she got there.
Yeah, yeah, you know, Yoko, she's gosh, man.
That's how come whenever someone has a buzz kill, a wet blanket wife, they're known as a Yoko.
They're known as a Yoko.
It is a well-known term.
I'll bet you it's in the slang dictionary somewhere.
A Yoko Ono, it's a pain in the ass wife.
The wet blanket, like, oh, you guys are over here drinking beer again, watching the game, you know, all that stuff.
Known as a Yoko Ono or someone that takes like someone really talented and destroys their talent.
That's another way they call a Yoko Ono is that.
So she didn't destroy his talent.
She just inflicts stuff that she thought was talent on his records, which I hated.
She was such a distraction.
If she wasn't around, he could have put out a lot more.
I so agree.
He was too busy listening to her fucking yodel backwards or whatever that shit was.
Oh, God, if you don't know what I'm talking about, just Google Yoko Ono music.
What she calls music, and you'll see what I mean.
It's a lot of screaming and shrieking and weird facial expressions.
Yeah. And then like her last album was like a pillow talk or something.
Remember that stupid song?
Oh, yeah.
Everybody has mean talk, but it's just pillow talk or something like that.
It's just her talking, saying that it's like, yeah, it's not a song, but anyhow creepy.
You know, your voice was creepy. Yes.
It was like, where did this come from and why are you putting this out and why are you doing this to people?
Because somebody somewhere's got a fever dream or something.
Yeah, I think anyone that accidentally heard it is entitled to compensation.
Yeah.
What do you say a fetal dream or what? A fever dream?
A fever dream.
You know, you wake up in the middle of the night, your fever is 103.
Yeah.
You're not thinking correctly.
You're seeing your dresser over there talking to the refrigerator.
And it's Yoko Ono.
We're talking.
Or I was singing soft kitty to you.
I heard it's been used as torture before.
Yeah, I imagine so.
They replaced waterboarding because everybody was against waterboarding with Yoko Ono.
But then they came back and said, no, go ahead and do waterboarding.
It's more humane.
And that may not be very far off.
That may not be very far off, Topher.
I think I might rather get waterboarded than hear her for like 12 hours.
Oh, gosh.
I mean, once you hear it, you can't unhear it every now and then.
Your mind goes back to it.
It's like, why? Why?
Yeah, there's a lot of noises you can get accustomed to, to where it doesn't really bother you.
But the way she shrieked and whooped and made it, it's the kind of noise that is designed to get your attention over and over and over and over.
Yeah, it's so impossible to ignore her.
You know, at the G3 summit quite a few years ago in Cleveland where they had the riots and then the government came out with that pitch that made disabled everybody.
They fell on the ground, started vomiting.
That was Yoko Ono.
Of course.
What a weapon, though, huh?
What kind of demented fuck thought that up?
It was just like George.
The weird thing is everyone keeps paying attention to it.
Yes, it was like George Carlin said, what kind of a demented bastard came up with a flame thrower?
It's like you're over here on a mountain and you're looking over there and you go, man, I sure would like to burn those fuckers up.
But I want to do it from here.
That's a little point Dexter ran around the corner, started doing some mathematical shit and comes back and goes, here you go.
Oh, here. Hey, check this out.
I'm burning them up from here.
This is awesome.
Imagine the other people.
What the hell?
Anyhow, yeah, Yoko Ono is the equivalent to a verbal flame thrower.
Yeah.
Anyhow.
All right.
Do you have something you want to go into after that long weird?
I've got an honorable mention for rock and roll hoax.
Oh, OK.
There was an outdoor festival a while back that it was the original lineup of Van Halen and they're playing some outdoor thing.
And the way they entered was they told everyone to look up in the sky and four people jumped out of an airplane and parachuted down and landed in the parking lot.
And then moments later, the members of Van Halen came running out wearing jumpsuits, blight suits.
But it wasn't them.
They parachuted in to do the concert.
I remember that.
Yeah, it was it was it was stunt stunt people up in the airplane and the guys in the inhaler waiting around backstage wearing those jumpsuits.
It was actually it was quite brilliant.
I mean, because everybody thought they did well at the time.
They've got an enormous amount of publicity and everybody, you know, they went home or went to school or went to work and said they came out and they parachuted.
And then it grew to they parachuted on stage and one of them landed in the crowd.
Yeah. Remember that that there's going around one of them landed in the crowd and they had to get out of there because they're tearing tearing his clothes off or something, you know.
And that's how things work.
You know, first it was them, but it wasn't them.
And then next thing you know, they parachuted and three of them landed on stage and one of them missed and they landed in the crowd.
And then they had to get like a bunch of bodyguards to get them back. You know, it parlayed into all this stuff because that's the way stuff like that happens.
People add stuff to it.
It wasn't a real long lasting hoax, but while it was going, it got pretty out of hand.
I remember hearing that and thinking bullshit right off the bat.
I'm like, no, that didn't happen. That didn't happen.
And turns out it didn't kind of like the fire festival.
Did that happen at the fire festival?
Oh, wait, no, that didn't happen.
There was another one.
There was another hoax.
Read about it.
Someone else did a fire festival, but no, no, no, this is a real one.
But it wasn't.
Yeah, it was another hoax.
But it wasn't that one guy.
I forgot his name because I think he's out of prison again.
Anyhow, any more people are out of prison because the prison can't make enough money.
The prison can't make enough money holding them, so they just dump them.
Yeah, isn't that bullshit?
Yeah.
Yeah, and that's what you get when you get prisons for profit.
Yeah, one of the worst ideas America ever had.
Yeah, yeah, no, that's bullshit because then it becomes nothing but a business.
And they don't care if someone killed your grandma with a brick.
They're not making money off of him so he can go.
So anyhow, all right.
You got anything else or you want to call this bitch?
Yeah, I have an idea about bands who have changed their lead singers.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, you said something about this.
Divided up into, you know, some have had success, some have had failure,
and others that really pretty much changed the band when they changed lead singers.
So I had some good examples here.
The first one off the bat was Iron Maiden.
Yeah, Paul Diano to Bruce Dickinson that couldn't have been any further different.
Yeah, and they really took off after that.
So that was one where they had success changing the lead singers.
His inaugural album was Number of the Beast, wasn't it, Bruce's?
Yeah.
Yeah, and that's when they started gaining notoriety.
Paul Diano just passed away coincidentally, like two weeks ago maybe.
Paul Diano, the original singer of Iron Maiden.
Looking up here, Paul Diano.
Yeah.
Let's see. Yeah, I died October 21st.
Yeah, I think he did two albums with him or one.
Let's take a look here.
Let's see, Number of the Beast by 81, Paul Diano was demonstrating
increasingly erratic behavior due to drug usage.
Oh, yeah, that's, yeah.
Let's see.
Yeah, it looks like Number of the Beast was the first with Dickinson.
Okay, that's what I thought.
And Number of the Beast was the album that took off here in America.
And I mean, they had run to the hills, and that was their closest thing to a hit at the time.
But the operatic singing of Bruce Dickinson was, you wouldn't think it would fit, but it did.
Yeah.
He's a very good musician, too. I mean, I love his solo stuff.
Have you heard his latest, The Mandrake Project?
No, I have not. There's not a lot of music I've been keeping up on lately.
If you get a chance, listen to it. It is very good, very good.
And he does his version of The Universe Has Failed, which was off of their album before the last,
and I can't remember the name of it.
But he does his version of it, and everybody likes his version better.
He puts in some Native American music type in it with flutes and stuff. It's just really good.
So, anyhow, go ahead.
All right, well, the next one, they fit all three categories.
They had success, they had failure, and it changed their sound. And that's Genesis.
Oh, yeah, that's a good one.
Yeah, when they changed from Peter Gabriel to Phil Collins, they continued to have success,
and it significantly changed their sound. It became a lot more pop-oriented.
Yeah, yeah, and then Phil Collins.
Which is part of the reason Pete Gabriel left in the first place, is because he wanted to continue doing his wild, weird stuff.
And incidentally, he had some pop hits doing that, like Games Without Frontier and Sledgehammer.
There's another couple of them.
Shock the Monkey, yeah.
Yeah, they were played on pop stations all over America, and that's not what he wanted.
But then eventually Phil Collins left Genesis as well, and they got a guy named Ray Wilson.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, nobody wanted him.
No, no.
When they switched to Ray Wilson, that was pretty much the death knell for Genesis.
He was not a good replacement to either one of them.
You know, Phil Collins, wasn't he already in the band, the drummer?
Yeah, Peter Gabriel was originally drummer and singer, and then he went to Singer, and they hired Phil Collins to be the drummer.
Yeah, and then when...
Phil Collins turned out to be the next singer, and they sounded actually fairly similar at the time.
Yeah, and Phil Collins' drumming is really good anyhow.
I mean, he has a very unique way of drumming.
One of the left-handed people.
Yeah, like Air of the Night, in the Air of the Night.
Is that the title of the album, or is it something else?
I think that was the name of the tour.
Oh, yeah, I think you're right.
Or maybe the live video, or something like that.
He put out a number of live videos, but yeah, I remember that big picture of the close-up of his face,
and he needs to shave, and...
Yeah, yeah, yeah. He looked kind of goofy, actually.
He was balding, and it didn't go very well.
He balded in a very weird area of his head.
Yeah, he couldn't pull out the tough guy look very well.
No, no, he didn't.
He wrote in the Air of the Night, I'm just going to call it that, about revenge for his ex-wife, wasn't it?
Yeah, it's kind of a breakup song.
People read all sorts of things into it, like it was about an assault murder.
Yeah, I remember hearing that.
Somebody on stage, and that got way out of hand.
But, those songs just laughed when people made up all these cool stories about his songs.
Yeah, he just got like, well, you know, I was in a very bad relationship, and that was my way of expressing how I felt.
And that's all it was, but his drumming on that was so unique.
Because he barely drummed until the middle of the song, kind of reminiscent of maybe Stairway to Heaven.
Yeah, yeah, there's a loop of electronic drum sounds going through most of the song.
And it's not until the end when he's ready to really belt out the refrain that he comes to the live drumming.
Yeah, yeah.
And it was very unique because it was written like that, and he was a good drummer anyhow.
But that song, not only was it a good song, but it was so critically acclaimed because of how he drummed on that song.
Remember...
He was a big crossover hit, too, man. That showed up on all sorts of different format radio stations.
Even Country.
Wow, I didn't know that.
Yeah, look it up. And I was like, Country? Why? But anyhow.
And actually, coincidentally...
There's not much of raunchy guitar. There's just that one that wails in and out.
So yeah, I could see that going over on Country.
Chris Stapleton remade it.
Oh, cool.
Well, Monday Night Football. That's Chris Stapleton doing. Air of the Night.
Oh, okay. I think I have seen that. I've watched it from my memory somehow.
Chris Stapleton is one of those guys that everybody can like, anyhow.
I mean, he's got something that usually everybody likes. It's like, okay, yeah, that guy's not bad.
You know, I love his look, though. He looks like Rob Zombie without acid.
So, Grizzly Adams meets Rob Zombie. That's what he looks like.
Oh my gosh. He could be on Harry Potter if he looked like that.
He might be. Who knows? Next one. Chris Stapleton.
All right.
There's another one reaching back a few years. Heart.
And then Nancy Wilson were not the original singers.
Really? Didn't know that.
Yeah. Yeah. So they hit the category of having a lot more success and radically changing their sound
once the Wilson sisters became their singers.
Wow.
Yeah. They put out a few albums, but then the remains of the band that was there before the Wilson sisters,
they all got fired and gotten rid of and they just hired some other people.
So the Wilson sisters really took over the band and got rid of everybody that was there before
because they didn't want to embrace the new style.
Wow. I would have never known that till now.
Yeah.
Okay. So there's hard albums out there. Was it still a female singer or a male singer?
I think it was a male singer. I think it was some of the guys that were in the band that were trying to do the vocals.
I don't know if they ever put out an album beforehand, but they definitely were out there playing live
and seeing a support act and making a name for themselves.
That's pretty cool. Wow. Thank you. That's a cool little tidbit.
They were using the name White Heart at that time.
I remember something about that now.
Yeah.
But I don't think I knew the lead singer stuff. Okay.
Let's see. Another biggie, Fleetwood Mac.
Yeah.
That definitely changed their sound when they brought in Stevie Nicks and Lindsey Buckingham.
Yes.
And they lost Peter Green and Bob Welch.
Yeah. The most famous one is, of course, Stevie Nicks and Lindsey Buckingham, anyhow.
Yeah.
The chemistry between all of those artists, McFleetwood, Kristi McVie, all of them were so unique.
They came from different backgrounds of music, and they all collaged in this one band that just did very interesting, really good music.
Yeah. Yeah. The story was at the time that the first album that came out with Buckingham and Nicks,
people were hearing the songs on the radio and said, wait a minute, this sounds like Fleetwood Mac, but they're writing a hit.
Yeah. Yeah.
You can't believe it. It's like, that can't be Fleetwood Mac because this is a hit.
Yeah.
That definitely changed their style.
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Because with Bob Welch and, shit, I forgot. You just said Green.
Yeah. Peter Green.
Peter Green, yeah. Yeah, they were completely different style of music, anyhow. I mean, they went on to their solo stuff.
Bob Welch did his solo stuff, and he did okay.
Yeah. Yeah. Ebony Eyes and Fentimental Lady.
Yeah. And Peter Green went into a band, didn't he? What was the band?
Yeah, he did. I can't remember that right off the top of my head.
It wasn't a very big band, anyhow. Okay. But the most famous one would be Bob Welch's career, and he had a couple of hits, and he did okay.
But the whole point is he does not sound like Fleetwood Mac, does he?
Yeah. Let's see. Oh, Gibson did a reissue of Peter Green's famous Les Paul.
Oh, really?
Yeah. So the one that he used so much had a quality control error. They had installed one of the pickups either the wrong way around or, no, the wiring was in the wrong direction. The wiring was the wrong polarity.
Oh, okay.
When he had both pickups active, it gave kind of an odd quacking sound. That was kind of Peter Green's signature sound, and it was just an odd chance that he had that guitar. But Gibson actually reissued that guitar with that same defect.
Now, that's pretty cool. That's pretty cool.
He got some respect.
Yeah, yeah. And he probably should have too, so.
Yeah.
Wow. Okay.
I have another three category winner.
Okay.
Van Halen.
Yeah. Go ahead.
They had success, and then they changed to Sammy Hagar, and they continue to have success. They had even more success, and it definitely changed their sound. They definitely got, well, Eddie got a whole lot more creative freedom once they had Sammy.
Yeah, there was, I'm reading Brothers, Alex Van Halen's book right now.
Okay.
There was a lot of heat between David Lee Roth and Eddie Van Halen and it was mainly it sounds like, I mean, but this is Eddie Van Halen, or Alex Van Halen's book, I'll remind you.
But, yeah.
He said that the reason David Lee Roth left the band, he wasn't fired, he left the band. The reason he left the band was he was jealous because Eddie Van Halen just did that beat it stuff, you know, the solo on it, he got huge.
People are like, God, man, who's that crazy guy with that guitar. So everyone started going, no, and Van Halen is Eddie Van Halen and not the flamboyant David Lee Roth.
David Lee Roth was jealous, he was extremely envious of him, and so he was like, you know, I'm going to go on my own, I'm going to be bigger, which did not happen.
Yeah.
That's pretty much the formula for success is you focus on the front man, the singer, and the guitar player can have his fans, but it's supposed to be all about the singer.
Yeah, and there was going to be a reunion tour, or not a reunion tour, but a tribute tour to Eddie Van Halen, they're going to have guest guitarists, really good ones, like probably Steve Vai might be one of them, you know, people that could handle that type of stuff.
Maybe Zach Wild, you know, Nuno Bettencourt for sure.
And Nuno Bettencourt and Eddie Van Halen were best friends. So they, Nuno Bettencourt could handle that type of stuff, the finger tap and the harmonics, all that stuff that A Van Halen did so well.
They're going to do this, but Alex Van Halen's only request to David Lee Roth was this.
Every night we're going to mention Eddie and David Lee Roth said I'm not fucking doing that.
Yeah, and that fucked up.
Now this is Alex Van Halen's book, but I don't know, I don't think he'd lie about that, you know.
Yeah, it may not have been quite as harsh and as cut and dry as that, but I think the basic...
The basic idea is he didn't want to salute his... Yeah.
That's pretty cold.
It is, it is. And I love David Lee Roth, what he did and everything, but as a person, I don't know, you know.
Yeah.
So anyhow.
Oh, go ahead.
Van Halen also gets the category of fail because after Sammy left and they switched to Gary Chiron, they put out an album that everyone forgot about.
The problem is, is it was a really good album.
I thought, I liked it. Gary Chiron sounded like Sammy Hagar, actually.
He did. And one of the, actually one of the criticisms was he sounded too much like David Lee Hagar.
Like he was trying to be both of them at the same time.
And the songs were too long. It's like Eddie put every lick and every guitar solo he could think of in every single song.
Oh, yeah.
So listenability wasn't all that high for that album, they said.
No, it wasn't.
Yeah.
I'm looking for the guy's name that was going to do it and he backed out of it. He didn't like some of the stipulations in the contract.
There was a guy in between that kind of looked like David Lee Roth, had a great voice and played guitar too.
He had long blonde hair. He had the look.
He was going to replace Sammy Hagar.
And then he was he was all set to do it and everything was a go.
And then he read something in the contract. He said, no, I'm not doing it.
And I'm trying to look it up right now.
Well, there's a pretty famous David Lee Roth impersonator out there that might have been him.
Ted Temp, no, no, no. Ted Templeton is the producer.
Damn it.
Gary Sharone.
It's really hard to find the guy's name.
You know what?
Mark Stone.
That might be that might be did he have like long blonde hair and kind of thick, not like really skinny, kind of like David Lee Roth?
I'm not sure. That was just the name that popped up in former members.
OK, well, this OK, this guy, he was he was going to replace him.
And I think he was like a vocal teacher in L.A.
Something like that. But you know what? It doesn't matter.
You know what? Anyhow, there was a guy that they were going to get before Gary Sharone and Gary Sharone is, you know, of Extreme, which, you know, Betancourt was the guitarist for Extreme or still is.
Yeah. OK. Eddie Van Halen and Nuno Betancourt were best friends.
So I think that's probably how Gary Sharone got the gig, because there is no falling out between Extreme.
They just decided to do other things and they're still together.
Actually, they put out an album like last year that was really good.
Yeah, yeah, it was. Nuno Betancourt.
He plays a brand of guitar, funk guitar that's just insane. He is so good.
He does not get he does not get enough credit.
Anyhow, go ahead.
Let's see. There's some that are
a little more commonly known, Deep Purple and Black Sabbath have both changed singers a number of times.
Yeah, I think actually Black Sabbath has Deep Purple trumped on that by a couple of singers, maybe.
Maybe so. Yeah, because there was like Ray Gillan in between.
Glenn Hughes and.
Shit, what's his name?
Oh, well, go ahead. Go ahead. I'm sorry.
Yeah, he said Black Sabbath made the list of failure because by the time Glenn Hughes was the lead singer, no one really kind of cared anymore.
Well, in Glenn Hughes book kind of fell apart.
Glenn Hughes book, he was fucked up and he was fat.
Yeah, yeah, he gained a lot of weight and he was always on something and he couldn't he couldn't like handle the stage.
He was so big, I guess. I don't even remember that at all.
I always thought he was a skinny guy that could play his ass off and sing like nuts.
But I guess his voice wasn't so good when he was bigger.
And so he kind of failed Black Sabbath pretty bad.
They did Seventh Star and it was supposed to be a solo project.
But the record company said, we're not we're not going to do it unless it has a Black Sabbath name.
So it's Tony Iommi feature in Black Sabbath or maybe say the way Black Sabbath feature Tony Iommi.
And Glenn Hughes was the lead singer. Cozy Pal on drums, I believe.
And anyhow, go ahead. Yeah. Yeah.
It was an interesting lineup. But go ahead with what you're saying.
I'm sorry. I was going to say the Deep Purple.
They said that when Joe Lynn Turner got involved, that that was kind of the end for for Deep Purple in its in its current lineup.
They had to take a big hiatus and redo themselves.
Yeah, because Joe Lynn Turner was the singer for Rainbow and Richie Blackmore Pro and Yngwie too.
I liked him in Yngwie very well, too. He was good. And Yngwie claims he he does not he didn't get anything from Richie Blackmore.
That's what he says. Do you believe that at all?
No, I don't. I don't.
The way he poses, the Stratocaster, everything to me screams of Richie Blackmore being his idol.
But OK, whatever. My estimation is he probably met Richie and Richie fucking was a dick or something.
I don't know. Allegedly.
So, OK, so Rod Evans was the first singer. And then it was Ian Gillen.
Then it was David Coverdell and Glenn Hughes.
Glenn Hughes sang some lead, too. He was good enough to. Yeah.
And then it went back to Ian Gillen.
Then it went to Joe Lynn Turner.
But in between there, Ronnie James Dio did so he wasn't a member of the band.
He did some live stuff with them. Did you know that?
Oh, funny. Yeah. Yeah.
And this was without Richie Blackmore because him Richie Blackmore did not get along after Rainbow.
And I'm not sure. I think Steve Morris might have been the guitarist at the time.
I actually know quite about quite a bit about this because Deep Purple is one of those bands like Sabbath that was like my top of the list.
And anyhow, like you said, they had to take Joe and turn.
They had to take a hiatus because they lost themselves.
They weren't the same band. They did House of the Blue Light.
Wasn't it with Joe Lynn Turner?
House of the Blue Light was 80, 89 between 84 and 89.
They did Perfect Strangers and House of the Blue Light.
OK, Perfect Strangers was a fantastic album.
Yeah. Was. Yeah.
Joe Lynn Turner didn't leave until 89. So they were done that with him.
OK, yeah. Well, that that album is so completely different than their comeback album, per se, the original ones, because Deep Purple was gone.
What's his name? The guitarist, Mark Bolan.
Or was it Tommy? No, Tommy Bolan.
Yeah, Tommy Bolan died and Glenn Hughes and David Coverdell.
David Coverdell went on to form Whitesnake and Glenn Hughes did some other stuff. I forgot what all probably went into Sabbath two later.
But in Glenn Hughes booked, the downfall of the band was pretty much they were all on drugs.
And then Tommy Bolan, when he died, he didn't even know that Deep Purple broke up.
They hadn't had a chance to tell him yet. Yeah.
The whole thing was horrible. I mean, if you get a chance, I got the book.
If you ever want to read it, Glenn Hughes book, it's an autobiography and some of the tell all in there is just insane.
So anyhow, yeah, go ahead.
I think I interrupted you like fucking nuts.
So, OK, let's see.
Of course, the main one that that everyone first thinks of his journey that their lead singer.
They they have a guy named Steve O'Gerry before they got Robert Fleishman and Ada.
No, our Arnold. OK. Yeah.
So when they got Arnold, they really took off again because he sounded so much like Steve Perry.
Yeah. But on the in between times, they had lead singers and they did OK in concerts and stuff.
But the albums really didn't do well.
Robert Fleishman did some of them with him, right?
Yeah. Yeah.
Wheel in the Sky might have been his song, but everybody thinks it was Steve Perry.
Is that what I remember?
Let's see. Bring them up.
Yeah. Robert Fleishman. Yeah, he was with him in 77 and occasionally thereafter as a songwriter and collaborator collaborator.
OK. Maybe he didn't do Wheel in the Sky.
Maybe I just thought that. Oh, yeah.
Yeah. But look up right away.
Here's some weird news about Robert Fleishman.
Do you know where he went to after Journey?
No. Vinnie Vincent invasion.
Oh, funny. Yeah. Yeah.
You would never get anyone that knows Vinnie Vincent and how he was and played and all that stuff.
You would never guess. OK.
He appeared on the album anytime.
Wheel in the Sky reaching number 57 on Billboard charts.
Yeah, I found here written and composed by Robert Fleishman, Neil Sean and Diane Valerie, which I'm guessing is related to bass player Ross Valerie.
I think so. That sounds raw. Yeah. Yeah.
Diane was either a wife or a sister or something.
That's that's probably what I'm gathering right there. Yes. OK.
Yeah. OK.
They definitely hit the jackpot and were able to go nuts with their lead singer.
Another one that didn't work out so well was when Motley Crue went to John Karabi.
Yeah. But man, that was a great album.
It was. It really was.
It was a great music. It was a really good album.
I mean, it had like little tinges of Aerosmith in it.
It was a hard hitting album, but people like Vince Neil.
They like that like pretty boy out there.
The high voice.
I mean, if they would have changed the name, I think it might have done much better.
Yeah. Yeah. They come out under a slightly different name because as it is, people treated it like new coke.
Yeah. Yes.
It never had a chance. But you don't sound like Motley Crue and there's no Neil Vince Neil I can look at.
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Coincidentally, I got a little story about this.
OK, when you bought the album, I was like one of three people that bought the Motley Crue self-titled album with John Karabi.
Right. OK.
There was a little slip in there that you could send in the mail with like seven bucks and get a little mini album called Quaternary.
Quaternary was a fantastic little album.
They have songs on there.
Now, Tommy's song is kind of like real heavy drums and kind of, I don't know, shockish.
Nicky's song is like real dark and brooding.
It's about his father that like left him.
OK. But John Karabi song is so good.
Mick Mars has a solo on there called Bittersweet that is out of this world.
They all did a song on there, too.
There was five songs called Friends.
It sounds like the Beatles.
It is so good.
The harmony.
Look this up when you get a chance.
Motley Crue, Quaternary and listen to that whole thing.
Now, you're going to throw away Nicky and Tommy's song.
I know this, but everything else on that album is fucking brilliant, dude.
And then so I'm on this music group.
Right.
And then I got off of it.
But anyhow, it's like rarity music.
So I mentioned on there I got Quaternary and it was like, oh, you're fucking lying.
So I put up a picture of it.
I get like three three thousand DMS.
Hey, I want to buy it.
I'm like, man, you motherfuckers.
I got off of there.
I wouldn't I wouldn't want to sell it, man.
I was one of the guys that bothered to get it.
I'm keeping it.
But like, evidently, nobody, nobody fucking sent that slip in except me.
So anyhow, yeah, that didn't go over well.
They brought Vince Neil back not because they liked him, but because the record company made them.
Yeah.
And do you know that Vince Neil is not a member of Motley Crue?
He is a paid performer.
Yeah, because a contractor.
Yeah, he's a contractor.
And Vince Neil doesn't care.
I heard him on several shows.
I think one of them might have been Eddie Tronky goes, I don't care if I'm with him or not.
He goes, I make just much money doing my solo stuff.
Yeah.
As long as it's a convenient paycheck, he'll be the Motley Crue stuff.
But if it dries up or becomes untenable, then yeah, I'll just go do these smallish music festivals and be the headliner.
Yeah.
I mean, his his band is really good.
I mean, it was like Slaughter with Dana Strum.
Geez, let's see.
I forgot who the guitarist is.
His solo band is strong.
He's got great players on there.
Dana Strum, I heard him up in Omaha play solo.
Vince Neil, he was a lead act.
Dana Strum sang Heaven and Hell.
While Vince Neil probably went and ate a sandwich.
Yeah.
But Dana Strum did it very well.
It was excellent.
Nice.
Yeah.
Anyhow, go ahead.
Sorry.
I keep going off on this shit.
All right.
The next one I have is ACDC.
They've changed lead singers twice.
The first lead singer they had was Dave Evans.
Probably nobody's ever heard of Dave Evans.
But he sang on their debut single.
Funny.
Dave Evans was the first singer of Deep Purple and Dave Evans was the first singer of ACDC.
Yeah.
I wonder if they're Australian.
So I don't know how closely related they are.
Probably not.
But yeah, right after they recorded and released their debut single, he got replaced by Bon Scott.
And then when Bon Scott died, he was replaced by Brian Johnson.
And then Brian Johnson is, I don't think he's been officially replaced by Axl Rose, but I think Axl Rose is going out and doing shows with him.
He is.
It was because of the hearing problem.
Yeah.
He blew his ears out basically, Brian Johnson did.
Mm-hmm.
So it was like a big hubbub, remember, because I forgot who his friend is. Jim Brewer came out and said, yeah, the way he did it was bullshit.
They were talking about Shit Young, not Malcolm, but his brother Angus Young.
He said that Angus Young sent all his shit when he went home to find out about his hearing, sent all his shit in his driveway.
Had some movie company throw all his stuff in his driveway with no explanation.
So in other words, he was out of ACDC.
And then he got some sort of a notice, I believe Jim Brewer did.
So he took it all back. He goes, you know what, I shouldn't have said anything. It wasn't like that at all.
I think it was like that.
And that he wasn't supposed to say anything. I think Brian Johnson said, man, I can't believe he did this.
So Brian Johnson is supposedly singing on the albums, but I don't know if he can do live shows.
Yeah.
So maybe that's where Axl Rose comes in.
But I would like to say that Axl Rose does the Bon Scott stuff so well.
Yeah, yeah, he does.
I hear him doing a whole lot of Rosie. Fucking fantastic.
I mean, I'm sorry. I was a Bon Scott fan. I like Brian Johnson, but I thought Bon Scott was so much better.
Yeah, yeah. He was so snotty and just so what would you call it?
I know he is ambiguous. They did on they did that on purpose.
But what would you call his music? Kind of snotty and kind of like punk.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. He really had that kind of a feel and it really fit the band well.
And then they hit in America Highway to Hell and he drinks himself to death.
Yeah. Yeah. And half of the album Back in Black, one of the biggest albums ever,
which was Brian Johnson's first album with ACDC, was was written by Bon Scott.
And yeah, so Bon Scott never got to get any of this. I mean, Highway to Hell. Yeah, I did OK.
It made the charts in America, but they were still an opening act.
Yeah, they never got to do the big tours, the headliner with Bon Scott. They were still struggling.
Yeah, it's too bad because he had so much to do with Back in Black, one of the biggest albums ever.
But he was already dead. And Brian Johnson came in and a lot of people don't know there was anybody else
in ACDC. A majority of people don't know that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
It's almost criminal to me, but most people don't care. They're like, oh, there's another singer. OK, whatever.
So anyhow, go ahead. And then the last one I have is is I don't know, it might qualify.
It's Queen. Oh, and after Freddie Mercury died, they went out and toured and had quite a lot of success with Paul Rogers,
the lead vocalist. Yeah. And after that, Adam Lambert. Oh, and they also had George Michael.
Yeah. George Michael, I think, was before Paul Rogers.
I think he made them like a show or something, but he didn't wasn't really like. Oh, he wasn't like I thought he was a man.
Like part of the band. OK. They're not listed on the list of current or past members.
But the reason they might not qualify is they really are kind of spinoffs. It's Queen plus Paul Rogers or Queen plus Adam Lambert.
But it wasn't really. They went out touring with Queen and there was Paul Rogers singing.
It's only two members of Queen. John Deacon retired the day Freddie Mercury died. Yeah.
Yeah. It's Roger Taylor and Brian May and Brian May with another lead singer and another bassist.
I have no problem with it, but I kind of have a problem with it being called Queen. Yeah.
So that's what I do. It's not called Queen. It's called Queen with Paul Rogers. Yeah.
Queen with Adam Lambert. Yeah. That's more satisfactory than having them pretend it's Queen again.
Yeah, that's true. That's probably why they put it like that is like, OK, look, it's not really Queen, but this is all you're going to get.
Yeah. Yeah. So yeah. George Michael actually sounded really good doing Freddie Mercury stuff.
I had no idea he was so talented as a singer until I saw some of his live stuff with Queen and it was good.
It was really good. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I mean, you didn't forget about Freddie Mercury, but it was it was really good.
I mean, you know, this definitely did it justice. This guy wake me up before you go go and I want your sex.
You don't think the guy's that talented. He had an amazing, powerful voice.
He did. And it was kind of really wasted on that type of 80s pop music to me. Yeah, I think so.
He wasn't so tortured and so young. He probably would have brought himself into other styles of music.
Yeah. What would you say? A very promiscuous homosexual. Yeah. Self-destructive street, too.
Yeah. Yeah. A lot of drugs and alcohol. It's too bad because he was so talented.
And I think he could have done so much more if he was right in his head. So. Yeah. So anyhow.
All right. Well, do you want to go ahead and call this bitch because I got shit I got to do before I go to bed.
Sounds like a plan to me. All right.
Did you really sit there and listen to all that garbage that was being.
Do you actually believe one inch of it? I didn't think so.
Game over.