And now it's time for...
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Go ahead and assume we got the story wrong. At least we admit it.
Not like all those other guys, we can and will lie if it makes the story better.
Two Deucebags and a Microphone.
We are...
KZ.
Harambe used to call into our original show, Two Dipches and a cheap Radio Shack candy recorder.
Harambe stopped calling into our original show, Two Dipches and a cheap Radio Shack candy recorder.
Why did Harambe stop calling into our original show, Two Dipches and a cheap Radio Shack candy recorder?
Harambe was senselessly murdered because some idiot could not watch her children properly while looking at her phone.
Sadly, Harambe does not listen to any show anymore. Sorry, Harambe.
You watched the news. It looks grim. Is an apocalypse inevitable? We suggest you download all our podcasts beforehand and have multiple mobile chargers. We have the post-apocalypse list.
Stuck up on pantyhose, the hose can be used to filter sediments out of water in any type of stew or soup that requires natural ingredients. The material is also great to cover unprotected areas of skin.
You can rub citronella or other compounds on the hose to detract insect bites. It could also be used for a nice window net.
The hose can be rolled together and a form of durable strong rope can be used out of this.
Two douchebags and a microphone in an effort to keep everything fresh. We offer you first world problems.
Man, my internet is so slow. This is bullshit. How am I supposed to browse or get on TikTok with slow internet? I'm so pissed off right now. I don't know what to do.
Douchebags and a microphone. I'm Mark.
And I am Rob.
Hey everybody. Thank you for joining us. Rob, I listened to our last podcast that we did together, which was a week ago. That thing was fucking phenomenal. Am I just patting myself on the back for nothing or no?
Well, I kind of thought we were doing that. See, when you're doing it, when you listen to it, it sounds like two totally different things.
Yes, as I've learned.
And I kind of thought that night we were going a lot off script. And boy did we. We had one of those ad lib nights.
Yes, and it was perfect. Good. Good. Good. Good. I actually had a story I got halfway through and we never finished it.
I know which one you're talking about. The one right in the middle, right? I thought, wait a minute. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We started going off on all the other stuff back in the day stuff and it was over. We just started talking about that.
I was like, wait a minute. He never fit. Well, fuck it. It was great. We needed that. We needed that.
Yeah. Yeah. And let's see. Suck my dick coffee. Man, after I heard that, I wanted some. I wanted some of that coffee.
I'm still talking to the person. They're still trying to get the proper licenses, I think is what it is. What he said.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So if this goes down, we got him. If this goes down, we got him.
So and you know, it's not a ton of money, but it's just it's just the fact that we're actually doing something like that, you know, actually doing what we love to do and actually making a buck off of it.
I mean, that's never been our goal. That's never been our goal.
It would get me my my equipment here. Exactly. And I got some of it right here. Cell phone and AirPods.
I've got some of your equipment right here. I got to get to you. I know you do. I know you do.
And it's going to help you out a lot. But man, I can't wait to see the Duckwine Studio when it's done. So.
Oh, yeah, it's in progress. That's cool. Along with the rest of the place. Oh, I got new furniture over the weekend. Brand new in the box.
Well, now you can because you don't have dogs crawling. Yeah, yeah. I replaced what the golden lab chewed up while she was teething.
Oh, yeah. Boy, yeah, I went through that with my lab as a black lab. And yeah.
Boy, it's so nice. Oh, my my my dog, Boo Boo.
She tore up my couch and everything teeth. And I mean, the wood part of it.
She chewed it to like pieces. I mean, we're talking like it looked like a sawdust almost.
Yeah, I couldn't believe it. I came home and I'm like, what the hell?
I had a double recliner with the console and two cup holders. OK.
I come home from work one day right after he got her. And I had just paid this off like a month before.
Uh huh. He got this dog.
And the fabric that goes over the edge from the cup holders to go down to the floor, you know what I mean?
Uh huh.
The fabric was gone. And part of the wood was gone.
I mean, she nodded like sawdust. It sounds like the same thing.
I just draped a towel over it and shoved my cup over.
That's what I did too, but I was just like, you know what?
I knew my furniture was ruined at that point.
And I told everybody, I said once the kids are out, I'm getting new furniture.
Guess what dad did?
Dad got new furniture. That's awesome, man. Good. Good, good, good.
That held a lot nicer than the last set.
Well, now it can be.
No, now this time my double recliner.
That sounds good.
It's not just double recliner. The rockers too.
Oh man, that's what I miss. I miss a rocking chair.
A rocking chair is so peaceful.
I love a rocking chair.
So, anyhow, okay, well, I was going to, we left off the last episode.
I was going to do my proven I'm a great husband by going to Creed, you know, taking Val to Creed because she loved Creed.
And then me and you talk and I'm suddenly going, you know what?
They were a good band. I just forgot about them. They were a great band.
And they proved this to me.
You had to be into them.
Yeah.
One of those bands you had to be into.
I was into them, but I'd forgotten it.
It was a long time ago and I just, you know, they'd been Alter Bridge for so long.
And Scott Staff was out of music then doing his own thing.
And you know what I mean?
It's kind of like a lot of bands where I just kind of lost touch and didn't.
And then when I went back to revisit it, I didn't remember quite the same.
Well, they brought back a lot of memories and they brought back a lot of cool stuff.
And it was an excellent concert.
So I got a little bit of a thing here.
I got a little bit of a write up, if you will, or a review of the concert.
And anyhow, first off, Scott Staff, he needs to not wear the Freddie Mercury jump suit.
Not working, not working.
They still wearing it?
Yes.
All black.
Looked like almost like Tarzan with really tight pants.
Whatever.
Just keep singing.
Yeah.
I was like, no, come on, man.
So anyhow, that was a little disturbing, you know.
But he still pulled it off.
He still was great.
But it's just like, dude, Scott Staff, if you ever listen to this, drop that.
He don't need to wear it.
He's in great shape, by the way.
He doesn't look like he has one ounce of fat on him.
He is in fantastic shape.
I mean, he's muscular.
He works out, obviously.
Well, that's good.
Yeah.
I mean, he's like us.
He's getting up there in age.
Yeah, but he looks fantastic.
I couldn't believe how good he looked.
And I mean, even with that Freddie Mercury style jumpsuit on, he still, you know, he still looks somewhat manly with that on.
So that's that's saying something, right?
Yeah, that's saying something.
Yeah.
So OK.
So went to Creed three doors down at the T-Mobile Center downtown.
Oh, oh, you didn't know three doors down was a part of it, did you?
No, no, no.
Well, I was never a huge three doors down fan, but now I am.
There's some I know everybody I know loves them.
I just never got into them.
I never like really thought their songs never really clicked with me.
But they were solid, man.
The show was really good.
The one thing I liked is the singer.
I forgot his name.
Like I said, I went into him that much.
So he's a Christian.
He's a born again Christian.
And by the end, by the by the end of the concert of their part of the concert, by the end of their show, he had most people chanting, I am the one Jesus loves.
I was somewhat shocked.
I expect to push back from, you know, non-religious types that go to concerts.
I expected them to be over there going, don't bring God into any fictional or, you know, all the all the bullshit that they say and all that.
Right.
And but he had most of the crowd screaming, I am the one that Jesus loves.
I mean, it was really good and it was powerful, too.
And before they started out with the the national anthem, most people there, most people there bowed their head, put their hand over their heart, took their hat off.
Everybody was like really respectful towards the national anthem, which is fantastic.
Fantastic.
So so anyhow, you know, he had everyone saying, I am the one Jesus loves, which I really respected.
And, you know, I'm going to try to get into him now because of that show.
So there wasn't didn't seem to be any any much pushback.
Creed was excellent.
So, you know, I stand corrected, like I said, they they were and are a great band.
Those hits that I completely forgot about, you know, Scott Staff sounded perfect.
But I mean, how many hits did they have?
I mean, there's like ten songs that I remember that I was just like, oh, my God, that's a great song.
Yeah.
You know, the Scott Staffs had like two or three albums and just like you said, there's like ten.
They had like 10, 11 really solid hits that you heard a lot.
It was great. Yeah.
Yeah. And I forgot how good Mark Tramonti is.
He is one hell of a guitarist.
And some of that stuff he plays is really I mean, everything that he plays, he sounded great.
He's precise, which I love. Not too sloppy.
Wasn't sloppy at all.
But some of those melodies that he's playing with his guitar were just so good.
And he sounded great.
They weren't voice track and they weren't doing anything except playing live.
And they sounded fantastic.
So anyhow, it kind of brought back my love for Creed, which I had forgotten.
So they played close to two hours in between the songs.
Scott Staff was given positive messages from his own life talking about how he was in shambles.
I believe he is on drugs and alcohol, right? Yeah.
Yeah. And anyhow, he he was, you know, given messages going, you know, hey, hey, everybody, I was there.
I was the one lying on the ground. I was the one with the head spinning.
You are better than this. You can get yourself out of it.
You can work yourself out of it. You know, with Jesus, with everybody, you can do this.
You are good enough. I mean, he was just fantastic.
I mean, he could be a motivational speaker after this.
He could probably. Oh, go ahead. It's called giving testimony.
He was given testimony. And you have been through that.
That's what you call giving testimony. Oh, I know.
I was youth for Christ. So you could tell other people.
Yeah, I was youth for Christ. And it is it's given testimony.
I remember that very well.
You know, first thing you do is you get saved and you give your life to Jesus and you say you're sorry and all that.
And if you don't believe it, that's fine. I'm not trying to convince anybody or nothing.
But I'm just telling you my personal. Yeah.
I felt completely different once I was saved.
And then I gave testimony to people. I mean, I wish I could do it more.
But, you know, maybe as I get closer to death, I'll think about it a little bit.
You know, but actually, you know, I got you there, brother.
I got you. Yeah, yeah. So I wish I was a better Christian.
He tried to figure out my end of it. You know, it is, you know, it is.
So anyhow, he's talking he's giving these motivational speakers.
I could see him being a Joel Osteen type if he wanted to.
I mean, really, he could. He was that good. He was very powerful in what he was saying.
Well, so around an hour into the show, Mark brought out a very nice guitar, Mark Tramonte.
Scott said that someone there was going to win it that night.
He went on to say the craziest guy in the crowd was going to win it.
Scott said they had a very important guest looking for that crazy guy.
So after the song he introduced with the special guest Creed Humphrey of the Kansas City Chiefs
was the guy who was picking out who was going to win the guitar.
Creed Humphrey Creed Humphrey of the Kansas City Chiefs.
What is his first name? Creed? Well, guess who his parents loved and him. Creed.
He is named after the rock band Creed. Creed Humphrey is.
Right on, man. I wondered that.
Yeah. Yeah. He came out. Creed Humphrey found like a six, seven year old kid
that was just a huge fan just going nuts.
He brought that kid up on stage and they gave the guitar to that kid.
And I'm pretty sure Creed probably gave Creed Humphrey, that is not the band,
probably gave him a jersey and signed it too.
But Creed Humphrey was so glad to be up there. He was so happy.
You could tell he was giddy. It was fantastic.
Here's this guy won a couple of world championships in a row on top of the world.
Everybody knows his name. Everybody's seen him on national TV many, many times.
The biggest game of the year. There he is.
And here he is giddy because Creed invited him on stage.
You know, it was just it was so cool.
I was like, man, this is what life's about.
Seeing something like this, seeing someone that hasn't made that just is just on top of the world.
And they're like a little kid in a candy store because this band that their parents love,
they grew him, winged him up on, he was on stage talking to them and friends with him.
You could see him. He was just like glowing. So it was great.
So anyhow, the kid got the guitar and he was really happy and everybody was happy.
They let him go watch from the side of the stage.
Probably so no one would probably try to take that guitar, I imagine,
because unfortunately there are people like that in this world. Right.
So and also it's a damn cool place to watch a concert too.
So anyhow, so Creed came back for the encore when the lights came on.
And then right after he came out and he was, you know, doing the Tomahawk Chop to the crowd and everything.
Tech Nines Red Kingdom came over the intercom loud and everybody was everyone was singing Red Kingdom
and doing the Tomahawk Chop out in the aisles, going home down the escalators, out in the parking lot,
out in the roads. It was fantastic.
People are just going Red Kingdom and doing the Tomahawk Chop. It was awesome.
And I was like, man, this is a special. I'm glad that Val wanted to go because this was a special event.
This event was really neat and it needed to happen and it was great.
But you would have kicked your own ass if you would not have went.
She would have come home and told you all about it.
Yes. Well, I was going to go. I couldn't look.
She put you know how hard it is to live with the fucking funny guy, the guy that's always cracking a joke.
Wisecrack and all that. You know, it's not easy.
OK. And I got these weird. I got these weird fucking Tennessee's.
I know it's not easy. She takes in the doors, all that in doesn't judge me, doesn't screw with me, doesn't try to change me.
I owe this to her and a lot more, honestly. I mean, swear, you know.
So anyhow, getting off of that.
Yeah. OK. So all right.
The crowd did Tomahawk Chalk, but I almost I cannot get out of this without telling you about Mammoth Wolfgang Van Halen.
He opened up the show with his band. Yeah, Wolfie.
He opened up the show with his band, Mammoth. I've seen Wolfie several times.
He opened up for other bands that I went to go see. I probably see him a total of four times now.
But he never he never shredded like he did this time. I think he's getting comfortable.
I think he's out of his dad's shadows now. So he's comfortable showing his talents.
He is an amazing guitarist. And you would never know it. The first three shows that I watched him, he did good, but not great.
This stuff he's doing the finger tap and the melodies, all this crazy shit.
And you could see him. He is up there doing this. Maybe he has more more self-esteem. I don't know.
Yeah, it sounds like he's settling in. He's settling in very well.
He is a better front man, that's for sure. And he sang great.
But his guitar was insane. He was doing this finger tapping stuff, these melodies and all this stuff.
He he just he was brutal, man. He just killed it. And I could not believe it.
He he he was one of the better guitarists I've seen in a long time.
I think the last guitarist I've seen of that caliber was maybe Zach Wild.
So, oh, yeah, yeah, he was just shredding.
Yeah, you might look it up on YouTube. I'm sure it's on YouTube, but I couldn't believe it.
I didn't know he was that good. I knew he was a good musician. He plays all these instruments, right?
And I kind of figure, well, you know, guitar is one of them.
No, guitar is his guitar is what he is meant to play, obviously, kind of like his dad.
And he has an extreme gift like his dad.
And it's going to be really interesting to see where Wolfie goes from here.
So anyhow, I'm done with that. Rob, we go to you. It's a great show. Glad I went.
I'm glad you went to. I'm glad you're there because I knew you would enjoy it.
Well, you're the one you're the one that told me, Rob. You're like, hey, yeah, don't be bummed out about that.
OK. One of the most celebrated bands from the Sunset Strip was Poison.
OK, drummer Ricky Rocket has confirmed that the band will regroup in twenty twenty six.
I didn't know they were a part. I thought they were still together, honestly, because I thought they did.
You know, with Brett Michael's health and stuff. And.
He'd been doing a lot of he's done a lot of solo stuff.
I see him down here at the lake doing solo stuff. Oh, really? OK. I didn't even know he did.
Yeah, a few years. Well, just a few years ago. OK. Yeah. Anyway.
Rocket discussed at the reunion in a new interview on Sirius XM's Trump Nation.
On the show, Rocket basically confirmed a true reunion in twenty twenty six with all the band's original members involved.
Wow. Eddie Trump even read a text message that he got from Poison front man Brett Michaels before taping the show.
When I asked on socials about a week ago, when I knew you were going to come on today, Brett sent me a text, he said.
Brett Michaels, a day or two ago.
Hey, I hear you're going to have Ricky Rocket on sending my love and telling Poison twenty twenty six.
What are your thoughts on that? Are you hopeful on that?
Rocket replied, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. Twenty six is for sure going to happen.
And I like and like, I mean, unless some foreseen thing happens, but all band members have stuck their hand in and said, yeah, we're definitely doing it without a doubt.
That that's fantastic. I think I'll go see that I want to go see the original poison.
I think I'm going to go see that. Are you going to go see it, Rob?
If I get a chance. Yeah. All right. When when we find it coming around our area, we'll get together and talk about it.
OK, and figure out which one we want to go to or maybe both.
Yeah, yeah, that I would love to see that. Do you have some more Rob that you're going into?
That was it on that one. Eddie Trunk is so good at stuff like this.
You notice he he's brought a lot of bands together.
I mean, he's the guy that found Jakey Lee and finally convinced Jakey Lee to do an interview, you know, because things kind of ended kind of badly for Jakey.
I covered that here all back. You did. You did. Yeah, he was stabbed.
No shot. He was shot. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, he was shot.
Well, walking his dog four times, they said his mistaken identity.
They thought he was someone else. Yeah, he's lucky to be alive.
And even Ozzie sent him some messages.
There have been a lot of bad blood because I guess they asked him to come back when they weren't getting along with Zach or kind of feeling it.
And he demanded the the credits be changed on Bark at the Moon.
They didn't feel like he wrote the song. He felt like he wrote it.
And he's like, I want my credits on there. And then they said, well, we'll get back to you.
And then they never called him back. But before that, he went.
He was kicked out of Ozzie. He went to Badlands.
Ray Gillan died of AIDS or complications to AIDS.
I guess nobody dies from AIDS, really. They die from complications to AIDS.
So anyhow, and then after that, he just kind of basically disappeared.
Probably, you know, probably sad kind of, you know, some bad stuff happened to him.
And he just disappeared out of the music scene.
Eddie Trunk got him to come back and do an interview. And then he came out with the Red Dragon Cartel.
So, yeah, so anyhow, this stuff's good.
Red Dragon Cartel? No, it's it's a band that Jakey Lee formed.
He formed this band himself. The singer.
Oh, I know what you're thinking of. No, the singer is Australian or was Australian.
I think I got a different singer now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
No, you're that's what you're thinking of. Yeah. He was from Australia.
And he had a couple of really bad live shows.
He did really good on the album. But then he did.
He did a couple of live shows that he sounded horrible.
And I think that's the guy they got rid of.
And then they got another guy that didn't sound quite as good on an album, but sounded good live.
So anyhow. OK, let's take our first break.
And then you want to come back and go to the top 10 90 songs.
Oh, I can't wait. All right. I got some doozies, too, dude.
We'll be right back.
Next up, things over heard in hell.
Box with songs are the only footwear allowed in hell.
Our constant pursuit for a real knee slapper.
It's strange insults from an alien.
Real hilarity. Don't be ashamed of who you are.
That's your parents job. Oh, shit.
What's that over there? Oh, no.
It's a silent horrible jokes.
A wooden shoe.
In my toilet.
I guess it was clogged.
The apocalypse just happened.
You don't know what to do.
You don't know where to go.
But we can tell you what you can eat.
OK, it's post apocalypse.
And you're walking down the barren wasteland that used to be a city.
You find an old can of beans lying in the middle of the road.
But you do not have a can opener.
What you do then is you find a patch of concrete.
You rub the top of the can for five minutes.
Then you go to the middle of the can and squeeze it.
And it should pop right open.
As much fun as an electric can opener to the scrotum.
Two juice lids and a microphone.
Your mama is so depressing.
Blue singers come to visit her when they got writer's block.
Tomorrow morning while grinding your coffee beans for your double mocha latte.
Remember to not get your genitals caught in the grinder.
It really hurts.
Who can afford plastic surgery?
Stay safe everyone.
Two douchebags and a microphone.
I'm Mark.
And I'm Rob.
Rob, you came up with a very nice list a couple of weeks ago.
And we thought about it.
We scratched our heads, scratched our nuts.
Looked through some songs.
And we came up with the top 10 90s songs.
Our personal favorites.
To me, I got a question here real quick though.
A couple of them actually.
Okay, first off, these are songs that I kind of took like this.
These are the songs that to me embodied the 90s and how I felt.
And how everything was going.
And from party songs to just the way I felt during that period in time, right?
Right.
Yeah, these are our personal favorites.
Yeah, these are the ones that like I remember.
This is our top list off the internet.
Yeah, this is our personal favorites.
And the songs that I'd be like looking in the mirror, getting ready to go out and do some stupid shit or something.
And listen to and hype myself up.
So, okay.
The second thing is.
Songs that hit us in the heart.
Whatever.
Yeah.
Okay, so we're both on the same path on that.
The second thing is, do you want to do a preview to the Music Creeps?
I'm going to do one.
Topher already did one.
His favorite Alice Cooper solos.
Which is excellent.
I suggest you listen to it if you don't.
It's really good.
And I'm going to do one about, I think, weird music.
Phenomenons or things that people believe were true that weren't true about music.
About writers, singers, all this stuff.
Fables and all that stuff.
That's what I'm going to do.
And that's going to be my preview of the Music Creeps.
Do you want to do one?
Yeah, let me give it some thought.
See what I come up with.
Okay, when you want to do it, let me know.
When we both have some time, we'll record it, okay?
Right, sounds good.
Okay.
Go ahead and go with your list, Rob.
Okay.
Combinate number ten.
I had to go with a 90s classic.
From 1990 by the Black Crows, Hard to Handle.
That was the 90s.
That's a great song, dude.
You heard it in every bar you went into.
Whether it be a rock bar, country bar.
It's a classic.
Yeah, it is. It is.
Okay, and my number nine.
Because it's a catchy and this guy jams.
From 1993 goes to Lenny Kravitz.
Are you going to go my way?
Good one.
It's catchy when it comes on.
I just start jamming, man.
Very awesome.
Okay, now coming in at number eight.
This is one of the ha-ha ones.
Okay.
Because I kind of have a connection to it.
You'll see what I mean.
Okay.
From 1993, Stone Temple Pilots Rooster.
That's Alice in Chains.
Oh, you're right. You're right. Alice in Chains.
Okay.
You're right. Alice in Chains, Rooster.
That's a great song. Heavy as hell.
Well, Rooster Ducked.
Okay, I get it.
Yeah, that's what got me into them.
Cool.
That's all.
Mine was Angry Chair.
Well, I liked them way before that, but Angry Chair was so vicious.
But anyhow, go ahead.
Coming at number seven.
This song has to be on any 90s list.
From 1990, ACGC Thunderstruck.
Ooh, there's one I'd forgotten completely about.
You just don't hear that song.
It was in 90s.
It was.
That's why.
See, that's where I had to go back and double check.
Well, it was interesting because people proclaimed them dead because of 90s grunge.
I had to do away with the whole list because they come out in 2000s.
But it was early 2000s, so I thought they were 90s.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
And now I was wrong.
I had to check a couple of mine, too.
I know what you mean.
Yeah.
No, they proclaimed ACGC dead like the rest of the bands in the 80s.
But ACGC came up in the 70s.
They came out with Thunderstruck and it went to number two or number one on the charts
and beat out a bunch of grunge and they couldn't believe it.
They're like, what the hell?
And it was very...
They're huge today.
Yeah, they are.
They're still huge today.
Yeah, if they'll ever tour again, I don't know.
No, I'm saying just that song is still huge today.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Well, ACGC is still huge today.
They're one of the few bands that lost such a prolific singer and actually sold a lot better after.
Bon Scott was the band.
I mean, anyone that was into them before Brian Johnson knew.
You know, Bon Scott was this kind of ambiguous, weird, lurchy singer that was like really...
I don't know.
How would you describe his lyrics?
Not sarcastic, but kind of, I don't know.
Anyhow, you know what?
Snotty, snotty.
Anyhow.
And he died and then Brian Johnson came in and Back in Black was one of the best selling albums ever.
But go ahead.
And all those songs Bon Scott wrote.
Did you know that?
Right, right.
Yeah, interesting.
Anyhow.
Okay, coming in at number six.
And to be honest, out of all of our list, I really did not see this band hitting any of our lists, but it hit this one.
Okay.
It's the storytelling.
You know me, I like storytelling in my songs.
Me too.
I think that's a guy thing.
And that's where a lot of my songs come from.
Storytelling.
Number six.
Ghost of Rot Red Hot Chili Peppers.
Oh, okay.
I'm not a big fan.
Okay.
But this song does it.
Under the Bridge.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And that is a good song.
I mean, Anthony Kiedis, he kind of talks the song.
Yeah, yeah.
It's a storyteller.
Yeah.
That's in the works.
I still, Flea is just insane to me.
The guy that comes out in his whitey tighty is a big lurchy guy playing just insane bass.
I still, anyhow, he's a great bassist.
He's a really, really good bassist.
Okay.
Coming in at number five.
Another classic.
From 1991, Metallica.
Okay.
Enter Sandman.
That was a good one.
That brought them into the mainstream.
Yeah.
And Justice had one.
That's why I had to add them.
One came out on And Justice.
That was 1989, so it went 1990.
But that's what kind of brought them into mainstream because it became really big on rock radio.
And then...
I'm telling you, I went through my years.
I made, like, I'm naming every year if you notice.
I noticed.
I noticed that one was 89.
I'm like, fuck.
I had to X out a couple of songs too because they're 2000 or 89 or 88.
Like I said, I'm way near from Ronnie.
I'm way near or I don't want to jump ahead of Ronnie.
You know what I mean?
Okay.
He's going to get back to us.
I understand that.
Okay.
Yeah.
Okay.
Coming in at number four.
And that's another song that hits some deep feelings.
And it's from the same album in 1991 by Metallica.
Okay.
Nothing else matters.
That song was such a huge hit.
It must have been on Airplay, Top Ten Airplay for three years, I'd swear.
Well, like I said, I get into the words of the song.
Oh, a lot of people did.
A lot of people did.
I get them.
I listen to them.
I get them.
I know what you're saying.
You're at that point in your life to where that meant a lot.
Yeah.
And coming in at number three.
And I'm going to throw you off a little bit on this one.
Okay.
Just because I get lost in this song, and I think everybody does because it's a deep song.
Blue Man Group.
No.
No, no, no, no, no.
From 1997, God smacked Voodoo.
Interesting.
You did the remake.
Okay.
You did the cover song.
Awesome.
That's a good song.
1997, God smacked Voodoo.
Every time that song comes on, I just go in a trance.
I still love your...
I got it in my Shanghai fixie bag.
It'll rubbed into the song.
You're Crying Like a Bitch is written after Nikki Sixx.
I love that song because of that.
Yeah, that's a great song, and that was one of those cover songs I think they did better
than the original.
Definitely.
Yeah.
Okay.
Coming in on number two.
I've gotta explain this.
I asked Siri. Okay. But Siri threw me for a loop on my number two. My number two 90s
song and all this by the name of Paul Anka put out a song by the same name. Okay. And this goes to
1994 sound garden black hole song Paul Anka had a song named the same but it's not the same song. I
know I didn't listen to the version. That's why sound guard is my number two. I listen to sound
guard. Okay. Let me I'm gonna check into that. Go ahead and keep right now. Siri told me and it
even came up on Google. Okay. Yeah, check it out. I am I'm looking for the credits on black hole
sun lyrics. It's not the same song. Okay. But it's still the same. No, it is the same. It is the
same song. I was looking at something else. Black hole sun lyrics in my eyes. Oh, right. In my eyes
and disposed. This is this is it in my eyes and disposed in disguises. No one knows hides a face
lies a snake. The sun is in my disgrace boiling heat summer stench. That's it. Wow. Okay. Okay.
He did it. Yep. All right. Cool. I knew I liked him. Okay, now my number one. And I talked to you
before we went on the air about this one. Okay. From 1992 goes to Mr. Eric Clapton. Yes, we talked
about that. For the song. Here's in heaven. What a song. The way he sings that, of course. Okay. The
conviction. Come on. Eric Clapton. It's locked. This song had obviously is number one. It obviously
had extreme later. Don't know me. Why is my number one and me and Mark talked about that. We're
leaving it right there. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. That was one of my favorite songs by him too. Although I
generally don't like sad songs, because of the conviction of his voice and his guitar to go to
compliment it. He had something very tragic happened in case people don't know. He had a baby
fall out of a window. It is a high rise, I believe. It was his son and he's singing tears in heaven.
And one of the lyrics is, if I see you in heaven, will you know my face? That right there is probably
one of the most heartfelt lyrics. Just not just the lyrics, but the way he sings it is just,
if you don't get a tear in your eye, you don't have a soul. If you hear that song. Anyhow,
I'm going to move on because you know what? We're not that kind of podcast. But I'll tell you,
that song. Yeah, okay. Number 10. Where the hell did I do with number 10? Oh, okay. Here it is.
It's way down here for, you know what? Forget it. Okay. Number 10. Far Behind. Candle Box. And to
me, like I said, this is stuff where I was in, I don't know, doing stuff, hanging out, party and
whatever. And that song's playing. To me, it epitomized the 90s. You're sitting there somewhere,
people have their flannels on, their hats on backwards, whatever. Okay. Trying to look all
Kurt Cobainish or whatever. And you hear that song. So to me, it is a good song. I loved it,
but it kind of framed a portrait of the 90s. So number nine, this is just one of my favorite
songs ever. And I always remember this song because I always had to listen to it almost every day. I
had a long drive back and forth to work and it was my pump up song. And it's also my going home
and fuck this shit song. Holy Water. Holy Water by Soundgarden. Yes. Yes. The guitar, man. Yeah. Oh,
it's fricking amazing. You know, I really took it personal when Chris Cornell took his life because
his songs were so personal to me. Not only in Soundgarden, not only in Autoslave, but he had
a couple of solo albums like Euphoria Morning. And there's another one that worked. He was just
such a genius. So, okay. Number eight, Guns N' Roses, Coma. Okay. I thought that that song was
extremely well written in intricate parts put together. It was. It was. It really was. It goes
in a lot of different directions. I really enjoyed it. And whenever I hear Coma, if I do,
the only place I hear it is a AUSY's Boneyard on Sirius XM. They're deep cuts. I heard it a
couple of times this week. Or no, last week. And anyhow, to me, I think 90s. So I was like,
that's got to be on the list. So number seven, I can't help it, but I have a tie, Rob. I'm sorry.
Go ahead. Call me names. Go ahead. Hey, hey, hey. Yeah. At least it's not Tulsa King's list. No,
he would freak out over that. Tulsa King, we're keeping it clean. Yeah, we got to do,
but we abide by the Tulsa King. Ronnie is it. Yes. Okay. Number seven is Varukha Salt,
Volcano Girls and Hole Celebrity Skin. Okay. No, not so much for you. No, not for me. Okay. I,
I thought. Hey, hey, hey, that's what, this is your personal favorite. Interesting enough. I have Hole
on my list, but I don't have Nirvana on my list. What the fuck's wrong with me? Anyhow, number six,
Blur Song Number Two. Woohoo. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. That's 90s all the way, without a doubt. My number
five, Interstate Love Song by Stone Temple Pilots. All right. Yeah. Yeah. You feeling it. You're
feeling it, right? You feel that? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Okay. Number four, Man in the Box.
It was almost Angry Chair, but Man in the Box came out first, grabbed my attention. I never looked
back. Alison Chains, Jerry Cantrell, genius. Yeah. Man in the Box, Alison Chains. Awesome. Yeah. What
else can you say? Yeah, it was. Yeah, definitely was. Number three, Soundgarden, again, The Milkman.
Side Two, Super Unknown. Just a grindy song. I mean, I call it like a Led Zeppelin-ish,
just a grinding song. It just keeps grinding and just great vocals and just, I don't know what else
to say. If you haven't listened to it, listen to it. You'll thank me. Number two, Ozzy, Sin, Safety
of Numbers, Not Coming Home. It has two titles. That's a great song. Then again, Zach Wilde just
does some insane shit on there. Yeah, definitely. But I just love the song. It just epitomizes the
90 to me, the 90s. And my number one, number one, I should have went Johnny Cash, but I didn't.
Nine Inch Nails Hurt. Okay. But Johnny Cash didn't come out in the 90s. I think it was 2000s when he
came out with that. Yeah, right. So I couldn't actually, so Nine Inch Nails Hurt. But that goes
with the storytelling. Johnny Cash, yeah. I'm sure Trent Reznor's like, what? He did my song?
Johnny Cash did my song? Really? He was probably like, wow. You know, there was all these, he has
all these records on the wall, gold, platinum and all that. And then someone came up and said, hey,
hey Trent. Yeah, what? What? Johnny Cash just covered your song. What? Oh my God. Are you
kidding? I mean, I'm sure that's what happened. Yeah. Yeah. So, all right. Loved your list.
Loved my list. Yeah, I love yours too. I think we did some interesting stuff on there. Right or wrong.
You know, I may come up with another list in a few weeks and go, shit, why'd I put that on there?
But those are the ones. I'd like to go into this. I'm already thinking of a couple I forgot.
Oh, I did too, but I left mine the original, man. I could do this for years. So. Yeah. Okay.
We're talking about music, right? Well, okay. A car, after how many years a car is classic?
25 years. Yeah, 25 years. Okay. So how many years can classic rock stations play the music
because it's actually classic rock after 25 years? So, you know. After 25 years is it.
Okay. So there was a limit. Let's say the old KY or 101 the Fox, they deem themselves as classic
rock. And actually, KY is not a good comparison because they didn't deem themselves classic rock.
They did some new stuff too and all that. Okay. 101 is classic rock. That's what their moniker is.
That's what they deem themselves. That's what they play. So there's other classic rock stations in
America. There's a lot of them. So they, they can't do it until 25 years or they're supposed to not
do it until 25 years. 25 years makes a song, a classic rock song. Okay. So you want to hear
what songs the first of the year are going to be classic rock songs. You'll hear them on 101 the
Fox or 96 whatever out of Columbia or what, you know, you know what I'm talking about?
The one down, Big Dog out of Joplin or whatever. Okay. All right. These are the songs.
Oh, Big Dog out of Joplin. You know that station too?
Yeah. I love that station. Oh, I do too. Yeah.
I used to live there. I used to stay some of the time there years ago.
Yeah, they're excellent. I hope they're still around.
But actually I was down there when they first started.
Really? They're a great, they were, they were fantastic. Well,
anyhow, so if they're still around, these are the songs that they can add at the first of the year.
Fuel, Hemorrhage, In My Hands.
What? Yes.
Next one, Kid Rock, American Badass.
Now Big Dog or 101 would not play this one. I know this one was really eye-opening. Ricky Martin,
she bangs, but you would not hear that on 101 or, or Big Dog. This next one is not a very well
known song, but I loved it because I'm a huge fan of Tony Iommi of Black Sabbath. Dave Grohl and
Tony Iommi did a song for Tony Iommi's solo album that he did in the 90s. And the song is called,
no, it was in the 2000s, Goodbye Lament. And it is a great song. If you, if you don't ever
look it up sometime, Iommi and Grohl, Goodbye Lament.
Like lament. Okay. Yeah. Okay. I've heard of it. Okay. It's a great song. Metallica, I Disappear.
25 years.
Started Metallica. Oh, sorry.
Good one, Rob. No doubt. Do it. No, it's true. It was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was,
Oh, it's true. Um, you're only as good as your last album is what Ozzy Osbourne said and he's correct.
it's, it's because they've changed so much. They can't put out the same music.
Well, yeah. And they all went through rehab and they're not angry anymore. Angry music makes
great music they're not angry anymore they don't care see Trent Reznor he can't
Trent Reznor is not angry anymore he can't put out a song to save his life
okay no no doubt ex-girlfriend disturbed down with the sickness classic rock okay
God smack awake classic rock Creed arms wide open awake almost made by list it's
classic rock as the first of the year Creed arms wide open January 1st you'll
probably hear it on 101 the Fox and Big Dog if they're around yeah yeah this song
woke me up I'm like yeah red hot chili peppers California cation okay come on
no joke filter take a picture that wasn't very well-known song but I know
about it and it doesn't seem like it's 25 years Eminem the real Slim Shady
please stand up yeah 25 yes yes yes I believe that yeah cuz he's had so many
hits after that it does seem like it's always back there I agree well I was
living in st. Joe okay okay and working with a guy that lived across the street
from his mom blah blah blah anyway yeah oh Marshall Marshall Marshall
matters or whatever I was living up there and yeah Marshall Mathers I think
is his real name he came from st. Joe Marshall matters he came from st. Joe did
you know him he he grew up in st. Joe Missouri you know that right yeah yeah
okay did you know him oh okay I got you okay you didn't know him personally
knowing but I worked with a guy that lived across the street from okay okay I
got it now okay Wow all right rage against the machine
gorilla radio Wow I know great song doesn't seem like it's 25 years but it
is yeah corn falling away from me yep I always consider that one of their later
songs bunch Bon Jovi it's my life yeah these last ones got me really good the
last three I could not believe I mean all of them were kind of like what but
these ones were like I'm shaking my head Bush warm machine Wow three doors down
kryptonite 25 years dude and the finally one that got me coldplay yellow 25 years
yeah okay yeah 25 years okay see I thought I looked that one up for a 90s
list it's 2000 so okay yeah yeah they will be okay gotcha yep yep yeah see
that's why I didn't make my list okay yeah it couldn't make your list because
of that so I think you even said that when you went into your list so anyhow
yeah I have some emails we can get to a little bit later do you want to take a
break and come back to one of your things and then we can go into the emails
does that sound okay all right well do you have a little bit of time are you
okay with it okay we'll be right back
jam X what the hell happened you were the generation of change
you never wanted to be one at the field spoke for you not the man not the system
what the hell happened the generation of angst the generation of non-compliance
is now buying a boat you're really fed up to kill someone
dangle the dollar near you great job Xers everything's ruined
next time you take a dump listen to two douchebags in a microphone it's been
proven in laboratory rats to relax your anal canal to the dish bags a microphone
in an effort to keep everything fresh we offer you first world problems damn it
the city services website is down again I can't believe this I'm gonna have to
actually call and talk to someone to pay my damn trash bill this is ridiculous
and now deep thoughts with Mark
let's see here a package of eight hot dogs a package of ten hot dog buns I
would have to buy ten packs of hot dogs and eight packs of buns to even it out
should I buy them at once should I freeze them or just continue to zigzag
them and hope for the best I hate adulting
this is Chicago I am the most dangerous city in North America you can't touch me
oh yeah this is Kansas City here hold my beer bitch Howard Stern just signed a
ten-year contract extension
oh to douchebags and microphone I'm Mark and Rob Rob you got something for us
yeah I do since we've been on music all night I'm gonna take us off strip okay
something I read cross-eyed Rob by the way wondered you sound great Rob you
sound great me yeah you do you sound fantastic well thank you you'll hear it
you when you listen to this you'll hear it anyhow go ahead I can tell I can tell
you sound robust and strong really good I like a oh I forgot to tell you about
that I got to add this okay or did I tell you about my propane
recertification today no no I did not oh yeah well since we went through a
foreman change and our last foreman was the only other one than me certified to
fill our propane tanks for our forklifts because we have a propane filling
station on our property to feral gas uh-huh
I have a new yeah for gas right for me wonder how come more businesses don't do
that they don't do that up here everyone I ever worked at where you got to see
where we're located and gas there they service out there everything is out of
weapon it uh-huh and we're like a half hour north out like forks in the country
coming in to camp in Lake of the Ozarks so we allow you know somehow before I
started there was a five yeah five thousand gallon tank for gallon propane
tank outside mm-hmm there has a fill station where their trucks can come in
walk out on route they'll run low instead of driving a half hour lead in
driving a half hour back to finish a route uh-huh they stop in to us and fill up well
in return we get to fill up our propane tanks for our forklifts what a good
that's that's pretty genius there save some money okay okay well the thing is
you have to have somebody certified mm-hmm well when I first started we had
two people certified they left the new foreman and a guy in the office that
runs a warehouse we're gonna get re-certified in the form and asked me he
goes hey you gonna be here for a while I said yeah I'll be here to for he kind of
laughed he goes no are you gonna be working here for a while I said yeah
you guys you only get a certified to fill propane sure well I took the test
passed it well that foreman is no longer with this so that's left me by myself
uh-huh which the fill over takes about it takes about a half hour you know
okay it puts me away from the saw keep it up but you know what I mean uh-huh
well we finally have come in today and they were gonna certify two people okay
and I was talking to them as yeah I don't know when my certification is up
and I looked at my thing it was next May mm-hmm and they say well you want to
re-certify boys here so I called him back uh-huh yeah yeah why not
I knew how long it took I got a hell of a break dude I got a hell of a break
excellent I took two and a half hours to get re-certified awesome and now we got
two other guys that could do it cool yeah oh yeah it was a fun day yeah but
it didn't mean I didn't have bust my ass coming back to it very cool all right
you were gonna go into something we're gonna go into the candy world it sounds
good first most trick-or-treaters rodeo fans and general candy enthusiasts
circus peanuts rake somewhere between raisins and candy corn on the list of
sweets to skip you know I mean by the circus peanuts yeah yeah yeah they're
orange fuzzy sweeter yeah yeah yeah I know what you're talking about with the
dots in it uh-huh yep okay the orange fuzzy lejun doppleganger is so famously
disliked it shares decisive icon status with black licorice pineapple pizza and
it's a lot true so long true okay I like okay yeah I do too but while almost anybody could identify those other three items in a blind taste test
mm-hmm circus peanuts are more mysterious yeah I would agree have you ever be able
to figure out the flavor that's where I'm going here no no okay
circuit circus peanuts have been made by a variety of different companies over
the last couple hundred years mm-hmm so their packaging has varied but neither
the jockey crooked smile covering a bag of rocks circus peanuts nor the
unsettling clam floating across angler version betrayed the true flavor inside
okay okay go ahead artificial banana huh I didn't expect to hear that flavor
artificial banana artificial but I don't you could I would have said liverwurst
before I said artificial banana geez okay okay we've kind of quick giving out
our look where we find these good at chow hound calm that's where I found it okay the story goes in deeper but yeah the reason why circus peanuts taste like bananas I'm not going that yeah that was very cool though okay
okay all right well should we do some emails after that weird thing okay okay bananas artificial bananas I'll never figure that one out but okay I like I said I would have thought it was liverwurst
flavor before I thought artificial bananas it's just anyhow okay all right first email I just listened to Tover's preview the music creeps his list of Alice Cooper solos I really enjoyed I I would like I did too I love how intricate he got about it too and why he liked it it's very good I would like it if Rob and Mark would do a music creeps preview similar to Topers now you know why I asked you that right
yeah okay I was thinking that and then I got this email and I'm like you know what that is a good idea we both we both need to do that too okay also if you guys need to come up with something let's get started man okay why wait for after the end of the
yeah we could do it yeah what I'm gonna be doing the podcast tomorrow I couldn't do it today because I had some medical stuff that I had to do which turned out really good so that's excellent okay yep hopefully I'll be around a little bit longer to piss people off okay also if you guys do one what artists if you do what I don't know what they're trying to say here
also if you guys do one what artists would reach one of you pick Scott and Prescott County Scott Prescott County not Prescott is that Prescott County no it says Prescott County Prescott is Prescott in Prescott County
no it isn't no no no that's Lynn Lynn County yeah okay I don't know where Prescott County is Prescott Kansas is what we're thinking yeah um Scott I don't know what you're trying to say um send another one please because I'll do it one more time to make sure we didn't miss something also if you guys do one what artists would each one of you pick also if you guys do
one what artists would you each one of you pick maybe some punctuation also okay okay also if you guys do one okay there should be a comment there but what do you want is what Topher did with Alice Cooper oh but he wants you to pick an artist and he wants me to pick an artist okay he didn't put a comment there said also if you guys do one
yeah yeah what artists was each one of you pick okay thank you Rob I'm gonna go Ozzy Ozzy you know what I'm taking mine off the slate actually I got someone else I think I'm gonna do anyhow so Scott Scott we're pretty sure that's what you asked but if it wasn't send me another email and be a little bit more specific please okay
please do please yeah well we'd love to answer so okay Mark you are an asshole I'm now addicted to real sugar Coke and Pepsi I'm yet to find the Dr. Pepper Joan Radford you have any you have anybody named Joan Radford in your family not my immediate family but I know there are there is district family I would need
I would need see I yeah all of us rappers are pretty much he did down the line related I do know that well then she must be related don't say where she's from I just need to know where she lives okay Joan since you didn't put where you live will you if it's Oklahoma
southern Missouri southern anywhere in Kansas okay she didn't cover that in a way we're related okay well there you go Joan right back right back there is an actual rapper Facebook group that nobody's touched in years but there's people in Australia huh the Carolinas Texas yeah
okay all right well Joan there you go look up your family when we'll lineage and you'll probably find Robin there okay I think Joan I think you missed the whole point of going real sugar on everything they don't sell it that many quick stops or quick trip they don't sell it
quick he stops or nothing and the whole point was is once I lost my taste for corn syrup I can't just drink a regular Coke or Pepsi so I don't drink it nearly as much now whenever I'm around a real sugar one I do buy it but it's not that often I'm around a real sugar one so I don't consider myself addicted to it I consider myself not being a fan of corn syrup but if you love it that's cool and you can get the okay the real sugar Dr. Pepper the original formula is
you can get online and it's through the Dr. Pepper Museum you can order it there or you can come up to Kansas City I don't know where you live Kansas City has this place called Casey's Soda Shop that sells it there and also in certain stores with certain distributors they also sell them but the way you know it's the original real sugar formula of Dr. Pepper is it comes in a bottle only and it says made with imperial real sugar
the only difference between that and the original one that they made way back when was this stuff isn't made with artesian well water that's the only difference but it's a real sugar Dr. Pepper and it's harder to find because they kind of consider that the original formula now so anyhow okay Mark how come Rob doesn't call into the sports show like he used to call into the other show with Topher? Will doesn't say where he's from either
he's at work. You want me to go ahead Rob? The reason is because Mark and Topher record theirs during the day and I'm at work. Otherwise he would call in. Point blank point blank. Yeah and that's how come when we do the music creeps they'll be during the week we're gonna do it like we said last week and you may not have heard the podcast but anyhow what we're gonna do is yeah we're gonna send you the questions.
They're gonna be recorded or they're gonna have my answers whatever. So Rob's gonna be a part of it whatever we can do so and then we'll probably still we'll still have this podcast too so okay next one Mark now that the election is over back then you said you had a theory about the Trump shooter anyway you could elaborate on that Tony S. Doesn't say where he's from either.
Anyhow okay um I'm gonna save that for one podcast a one off. I have a definite theory and I strongly believe in it. Why do I have to do that? Yeah that's gonna be a one off because it's a very intricate and I have facts of other attempted assassinations or actually assassinations too and I have facts that I can put out from each side putting them all together.
So it's gonna probably be an hour long podcast at least but yeah I will go into it but we don't have time here so okay.
Okay okay both of you douches what would your top three classic Western artists be? John and OP John and OP back strong with another question. Three classic Western artists Slim Whitman Hank Williams the first and Patsy Cline.
Okay I definitely gotta go with Patsy. Oh yeah. I definitely gotta go with Hank. Oh yeah. But then I gotta go with George Jones. Oh okay now I kind of I'm sticking with Slim Whitman but George Jones is solid. Yeah yeah.
John and OP don't be a stranger call me. Hey we didn't need two weeks to think about that one that's pretty cool. Yeah yeah. John and OP call me man you know what about. Okay um and finally Mark what is your favorite cruise ports and why? Vicky and KC two KC ones in a row.
Vicky I don't think we've ever heard from before but so okay thank you for listening Vicky. Okay number one's Miami. I love the port because when you leave there you go past Miami Beach and there is actually a naked beach on the other side of it not because all the women there are pretty but because it is a sight to see.
Old Europeans sagging everywhere naked. And also the ports easy to get around in very easy to get in and out of so and it's beautiful the whole Miami skyline. John maybe I'm single.
Then lose me before I beat. Rob I don't know I don't know. Okay anyhow yeah Miami Fort Lauderdale anyway Fort Lauderdale and then Long Beach. Long Beach has got one of the neatest cruise ports you'll ever see it's beautiful.
It has palm trees on the inside of it and it's not too far from Long Beach Airport which is a half outside airport it's half outside half inside because the weather there is usually nice and so you can have a real experience you can fly into Long Beach Airport which most believe it or not Southwest and most major air carriers go there.
You go into Southwest you go into Long Beach you go into Long Beach Airport and then go straight to the cruise terminal which is beautiful both of them are really cool experiences.
So one is Miami two is Fort Lauderdale just because you go through some different areas Everglades and all that's just really cool and scenic and once again you see the whole skyline at Fort Lauderdale Miami West Palm Beach that whole thing is just nothing but like huge hotels and beaches and stuff it's really cool looking.
So that's it right there and after three I don't really have a preference so okay.
We are all caught up on emails believe it or not.
Oh really. As far as I know we are unless it's not working again which is very possible.
Well update I still have yet to hear from Teresa from Lake Ozark. Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah that's right. Okay. She may not have listened to it yet.
Okay.
She may not have listened to it yet who knows. So, you know that's the thing about podcast is is people grab them whenever they have a time. So, you know, I know people that listen like John and OP he's like 10 behind.
So, her question had me intrigued. Yeah color wasn't it that favorite color. Yeah. What is my favorite color. Why would you be asking me that when you live that close to me.
Well, that's why I said that's why I had you. That's why I had you give the email. I didn't be reading into it like I normally do.
No dude I read the same thing into it. That's why I said hey give her your email and you guys can communicate like that because it definitely seemed like she had some sort of an interest like that in you.
I mean why else would you want to know someone's favorite color.
So, so Teresa for completely wrong on this. Okay, but that's kind of way I saw it to Rob.
Yeah. Okay. Well, Teresa not a word Teresa answer him back. Come on now.
I think that's about it in it.
Or you got something you want to do. Yeah.
Well, go ahead. It hit pretty heavy on music tonight right. Uh huh. Yeah.
I got one more. All right. Cool Rob. It's something I found. Okay. It's something I found Facebook. Let's put it that way. Okay.
It says yes, heavy metal music can calm you down and help you with your mental health.
Okay.
Heavy metal can help reduce stress and negative emotions and even lower cortisol levels to stress hormone.
So it can relieve your stress hormones with this effect. Now I don't know if this is true or not. I'm on Facebook. I ran across.
Okay.
I can believe it.
Oh, it goes on a little more. Okay.
Having metal can help you process intense emotions like anger and regulate your emotions.
I could see that.
Honestly, I get it too.
It does that to me for somewhat of a.
I don't know quite how to describe it. It is a energizing calm. Would that be a good way to describe it? Yeah. You listen to the music, your anger comes out.
And when you don't listen to music, you go on with life. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's okay. That's perfect. I get it.
Next, heavy metal can boost your confidence.
I believe that I get that what I get that one too.
Heavy metal can enhance positive emotions and help you explore your full range of emotions.
Wow. I all of this I see. Do you?
Yeah. Yeah.
And actually, the final one I see too.
It kind of goes along the same thing.
Okay.
The controlled screaming, those controlled screaming and heavy metal can help you channel your emotions in a healthy way.
Cool.
Yeah.
In other words, if you say any songs and they're screaming, it can help you. I see it. I see it.
I've had it happen before and I'm sure you have to just like belting out the words to a song and just feeling better.
You're all pissed off. You listen to.
Some heavy metal song and you're belting it out, driving in your car or whatever.
And you just have to see it. You feel better. You're really good.
No. Back in my old job, I used to go out of town. Me and a guy that I used to work with a lot out of town used to do that.
We'd go out there during break. It was a really, really frustrating job. Like nothing fit.
We had to dig out some glass, had to do the, you know, cut some posts, just really bad days and, you know, running up and down stairs, all that stuff.
We go out during lunch break and crank some really heavy music. We come back in feeling much better. So I get it.
And then I do that just in town, you know, jobs before that. I'd leave and everyone, everything pissed me off.
And I'd just be like, you know what? I just start screaming. Yeah, I get it. I feel the same way. So I do too.
I ran across that wall ago. I mean, I had tonight lined out and actually bumped one to listen.
I felt this with so much. You know, I've actually got another story I want to get to, too, because it's about the election.
OK, all right. OK, cool. We're going to do it then.
New York Post asked Pornhub for the election week porn data to find out what each state looked for.
And let me explain this a little bit better. OK, they determined by algorithms in the mount time.
The part there when we were doing our podcast, when nobody knew who was winning anything yet, right, like from seven o'clock to maybe nine o'clock, right?
Everyone was just going, well, we think this is swinging red. We think this is swinging blue, but they're not for sure. Right.
During that time, people watched a lot of porn. They they speculated to calm them.
So porn during that time, it was up like 80%
and then when the results started tallying in after 9 o'clock, porn went down to like 5%.
This is Pornhub reporting this, okay?
So...
I believe you, I believe you.
Yeah, so what they gathered was, is people were using porn to de-stress.
So they're going to Pornhub and stuff like this.
So, this New York Post asked Pornhub for the election week porn data
to find out what each state looked for.
So here's just a little sample size, a little snack bar snicker size
of what states were looking for.
Washington state were looking for transgenders.
North Dakota was looking for Native American porn.
Did know there's such a thing, did you?
Don't knock it.
No, no, no, no, no. Indian women are very beautiful.
Oh, yes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, they have great features.
A lot of my family comes from down around Oklahoma.
That's why I was asking about Joan.
Oh, well...
Where she's from.
Joan Radford, send an email back.
Don't worry about it, I got that.
There's Facebook, I can find out where she's from and see if she's related.
And then we can address it on the air later.
Okay, that'll work.
I'm not going to bug her. I'm not going to bug her.
Okay, like I said, North Dakota is Native American.
Colorado was no-nut November.
What the hell is no-nut? Hang on.
Hang on, hang on, let's put this up.
No-nut November.
No-nut, no.
You can't make this shit up.
Oh, I got it. How could we do that?
Okay, no-nut November, also known as abbreviated NNN,
is an annual Internet challenge of sexual abstinence
and not masturbating during the month of November.
Here's an AI overview on it.
No-nut November is a challenge where participants abstain from masturbation
for the entire month of November.
It's similar to no-shave November, where people stop shaving their beards for a month.
Some people take the challenge for its alleged health benefits,
which include increased testosterone, muscle growth, increased stamina, thicker hair,
improved sperm quality, reduced stress.
Okay, you know what? There's a bunch of shit I guess it does if you don't jerk off.
I got bluffed.
No wonder my hair's falling out.
No, it isn't falling out.
But anyhow, okay.
California, they have it right with thick and curvy porn, don't they?
Hey.
Thick and curvy porn.
No, no, I'm not. I'm not dogging it. No, I'm not.
I'm not. I say they have it right with it.
I like curvy.
Yeah, I do too. I do too.
I always have. I always liked them thick.
So.
A little cushion for the pushin'.
Yep, nothing wrong with that at all.
I'm a small guy, man.
They're him.
You like to just lay on top and go to sleep, huh?
Suck in your thumb.
When you're done, why not?
Suck in your thumb.
Okay, California, I agree with them 100%. Thick and curvy. Awesome.
Wyoming was car sex.
Okay.
I don't know what's so cool about that.
Yeah, I know. I thought everyone was kind of sick of that by the time you turned 22.
So anyhow.
Iowa is rim job.
Those filthies.
Those filthies out there in Iowa.
They're all up there.
And they thought.
They thought E. coli was coming from the corn.
No, no, no, no.
They thought immigrants were pissing on the corn or shitting on the corn.
No, it's from the rim jobs.
Oh, Missouri. You know what Missouri is?
Oh my God.
Blow bang.
What the fuck is blow bang?
Hang on.
We're learning new stuff here.
I wonder if that's a website.
Hang on.
Blow.
No, this is from Pornhub.
So it could be.
Blow bang.
It's a slang vulgar, a sex act involving one individual performing oral sex on more than one man.
Oh my gosh.
Missouri.
I'm sorry, Iowa.
I take it back.
The act of performing fellatio on four or more men at one time.
Missouri's blow bang.
Oh my gosh.
OK.
I'm sorry, Iowa.
Your rim jobs seem tame now.
Oh my God, you're sitting up.
I wonder what the hell is wrong with me.
What's wrong with you?
Because I'm laughing so hard.
The next one.
Oh, no, no.
New Mexico is butt plug porn.
OK.
There you go, cousin Tony.
You like your butt plugs, are you?
OK.
I have a cousin Tony in New Mexico.
There you go.
I'm sure he likes watching butt plug porn.
It sounds like.
I doubt it.
OK.
He isn't one of them.
OK.
Michigan is suck my balls.
I could see that one.
I get it.
I know people from Michigan.
Arizona.
You know, home of the old wrinkled ones where old people go to finally meet the dirt.
Yeah.
Ass looking.
Those boomers are sick fucks.
Are they not?
Are they not those old wrinkles?
Those old fucking wrinkle ranchers are.
That's looking.
I guess that's the same as a rim job in it.
This is beyond fucked up.
I have a copy of my quill apple.
Go ahead.
Well, they're old enough.
All the hair is gone.
Oh, hang on, hang on, hang on.
This has nothing to do with nothing, but we're talking about old people.
Hi, Grandma Opal.
Hi, Jimmy.
Hi, Ricky.
Hi, Grandma.
Sorry.
We know you're not into this.
Hi, Ricky.
Hi, Jimmy.
We're just talking about older people.
That's all.
You have nothing to do with ass licking.
We love you, Grandma Opal.
You are not a part of the ass licking and we're making sure everyone knows that Grandma
Opal does not lick ass or watch it.
If she was listening, she isn't now.
I know she might be laughing.
If she liked our humor before, I guarantee you she's laughing.
I see that.
Louisiana is goth.
Okay, I guess that's people.
Yeah, I see that.
Okay.
Well, yeah, yeah, yeah, knowing the heritage.
Yeah, I see that.
Yeah, okay.
Yeah, and New Orleans is huge of goths.
New Orleans, yeah.
Okay, I can see that.
South Dakota is amateur cuckold.
I think cuckold is that's where like you watch while someone like fucking nails your wife.
Yeah.
Okay.
So amateur nail my girl.
Amateur.
Amateur come bang my girl.
Okay.
All right, South Dakota.
You guys are sick fucks too.
All right, South Dakota, I can see your board up there.
All right.
Oh, Minnesota.
Guess what they liked?
What?
Sloppy second porn.
Hey, they like it used and drippy.
Oh, man.
Go ahead.
What?
No, no, never mind.
Never mind.
Okay, Wisconsin light swap.
I guess that's swinging swinging, I guess.
There you go.
Packers.
And and finally, Florida was mega porn mega like Make America Great again or okay.
Hang on.
Let me see what mega porn is.
I can't believe we're learning new shit.
Hang on.
Where did you got to screw somebody?
Trump?
I don't know.
Oh, geez.
Okay.
Maga porn videos.
Let's see.
Explanation because it took me to Pornhub.
Maga porn videos.
Okay.
Maga porn explanation.
You better be glad your wife ain't listening.
I hope not.
She got her ass.
Okay.
It is the you're right.
It is the act.
It's it's the act of dress dressing up like a mega fan male or female and having sex.
Oh, my God.
Wow.
Okay.
I'm gonna look for Florida.
I'm gonna look for the definition.
It is true Trump nation.
Wow.
Okay.
Porn.
Okay.
Here's what it is.
There's a bunch of mega porn stars that dress up like a mega like like maybe like Trump
or or maybe like the vice president.
Shit.
Anyhow.
Okay.
Or or like one of the cabinet members that he has or whatever like someone like might
might look like Sarah Huckabee and dress like her and having porn.
That's what this is.
It's like insinuating a cast of characters that were mega and them having sex.
That's mega porn.
So.
Okay, Florida.
Wow.
You opened my horizon.
Yeah.
Should we end on that or do you have anything else?
I think we should end on that.
All right.
Now, if you guys didn't know now you do.
So there you go.
Your information and news leaders to douchebags and like that.
After that, all I could say is sweet dreams.
Yeah.
Yep.
Don't go looking for Magna port.
Geez.
Or what was the Missouri one?
Hang on.
Where's the sheet?
Oh, blow bang, blow bang.
Yeah.
They're looking at blow bang.
Oh, shit.
Blow bang.
Blow bang is on my memory now because I looked it up.
Fuck.
Oh, boy.
All right.
Drop dead tomorrow.
And it was like looking through her.
Hey, let's see what Mark was looking at.
What?
Oh, my gosh.
That perv, that sicko.
Call me.
What the hell is.
What do you know about Mark?
Just listen to the show about.
Yeah.
Just listen to the show and you'll get it all.
All right.
Rob, thank you for joining me, man.
And this has been a fun episode.
Whether it sounds good or not, we'll figure it out.
Oh, no.
Looks like the show's over, kids.
Mark has explosive diarrhea and can't afford a wireless mic.
Thanks for listening.
Good night, assholes.
Fear not, assholes.
I'll be back invading your ear holes soon.