And now it's time for the daily douchebag pledge.
Two douchebags and a microphone pledge. I, Joe, or Jane listener hereby promise to download every show.
I, Joe, or Jane listener hereby promise to grab family members phones and download the show from
there. I, Joe, or Jane listener hereby promise to go to public computers and download the show
from there. I, Joe, or Jane listener hereby promise to laugh at all the unfunny jokes.
I, Joe, or Jane listener hereby promise to lie to all my friends and tell them how good the show is.
And finally, I, Joe, or Jane listener promise to visit Montrose, Missouri to take advantage of the
power plant, campgrounds, and junkyard all within its quarter-mile radius.
Here at Two Douchebags and a Microphone, we don't stand behind our journalistic integrity.
Go ahead and assume we got the story wrong. At least we admit it. Not like all those other
guys. We can and will lie if it makes the story better. Two douchebags and a microphone.
Hi, y'all. This is Chicago. I am the most dangerous city in North America. You can't touch me.
Oh, yeah? This is Kansas City here. Hold my beard, bitch.
Two douchebags and a microphone invade your ear holes in... Hey, who took a dump in the cooler?
And now, deep thoughts with Mark. Why is it when we skate on thin ice,
we can get into hot water? That just doesn't make sense.
Our constant pursuit for a real knee-slapper. It's strange insults from an alien. Real hilarity.
Hey, your chair produces a sound similar to a fart, but only once. Such that,
you cannot reproduce it and prove that it was just the chair.
Douchebags and a microphone. I'm Mark. And I am Rob.
Rob, you have something to announce. So please.
Yes. Last Friday, I told you, last week, I told you we were getting cut back to four days a week.
Well, Friday, my son ran a U-Haul and we moved my son and his girlfriend
and the two golden labs, thank God, even though I love them, and two cats out of my apartment.
Yeah. So I now have a new duck blind studio.
Cool. 12 and a half foot by 12 and a half foot with a double club.
No, my gosh. You're, you're, you're approaching on the encroaching or whatever you want to call it.
You are getting on the Talk is Cheap Studio. You are, you're right around the corner,
sneaking, trying to run in front of us, aren't you?
Yeah. Well, I ain't got nothing on the walls yet. I'm still busy cleaning up all the dam.
Lab is over there. Yep. Got it.
I've got a lot of the, you know, I'm getting a rug doctor this weekend.
Cool. A little bit of pictures coming.
Okay, cool. Very cool. We're going to do some emails in a little while. I've got a story that
a friend of mine sent me. I discussed it over with Tofer, not on the Sports Bastards because it is not
a sports story, but a friend of mine reminded me of something that I did in school. It was a little
prank over someone that deserved it. And anyhow, I think I, oh my God.
Look, let's just call him Jim. I came up with an old time story myself just today.
Cool. Of the blue.
Excellent. It had, of course, it had a, it had a,
it had a, of course, I'm sorry. Yeah.
The butt of the joke is your brother.
Of course. Some hate it, stupid,
that we found hilarious and we went with it. Yeah.
All right. Yeah, sounds good. Sounded like we were in the right,
we were connected today. Yeah, yeah, we were, you know.
Okay. Well, okay. Well, we're talking about stuff right here and we'll go into the stories next.
Does that sound good? We'll go to yours, take a break, then we'll go into mine. I want to describe
this podcasting boom that's going on right now. This very directly affects us in every way because
I am right now talking to a potential sponsor, someone that is nuts about the show, both of them,
not just douchebags, but the sports bastards. And they can't wait to hear the music creeps
because I gave them a broad outline of that. They love what we're doing. They love what they're
doing. They're not asking anything except us to do what we do, which is different than the other
people that were looking at us that wanted us to do what they wanted us to do. You see, this is
completely different. It's just a business owner that likes our entertainment. So let me go into
a little bit of this and this is something that he told me to look up. Okay. With a staggering 81%
of podcast listeners attentively engaging with podcast ads compared to 63% to admit to tuning
out the TV commercials. So in other words, Jake from State Farm is getting a whole hum now.
And podcasting, you're involved. You're involved with the show and you listen. Like if suddenly I
go, uh, yeah, you know, um, there's this new coffee company called eat my dick. Have you heard of it?
Rob eat my dick coffee. No, I haven't. Oh, it is so damn good. I tell you what, I had a cup of eat
my dick coffee. Oh my gosh, man. Yeah. I was, I was like going nuts, man. I went out there and I
built a shed because eat my dick coffee is so good. Add a little cream to it. I bet that's yes.
Yes, absolutely. We are on the same page that Rob, we are. Sorry everybody. Sorry everybody.
Man, this eat my dick coffee made me build a shed and I fixed the neighbor's house.
I went over there and I put new shingles on the roof and I painted their back porch
because eat my dick coffee is that good. Anyhow, and believe me, if this new sponsor comes to
fruition, they would love that when they hear this, they'll go, ha ha ha.
Because they have the same sense of humor, which really helps. So, um, okay. Back to, um, what
we're doing. $2.5 billion and $4 billion respectively in 2024. Um, that is the difference
between one year, 2.5 billion in 2023 and 4 billion in 2024. So that almost doubled.
So podcasts are convenient and they're made for the on, on the go consumption, which is what everybody
craves now. It's like, I don't want to sit around and listen to this at my house. I want to be
driving to go do this or go do that. And I want to listen to it there. And this is the way you do
it. If you don't have any data, you download it at home. If you have data, you just go hit the road
and just start playing. So there's been a steep rise in video platforms. And I think that's
steep rise in video, uh, podcasting. And we might have to at someday consider that because, uh,
with this new deal, possibly pictures will probably really help of what's being trying to be sold.
So I'll leave that right there. So, um, 85% of companies captured video for their podcasts in
2023 alone. Cumulus media, one of the biggest media companies and Signal Hills 2023 fall report
shows that YouTube climbed from third most popular podcast app in 2021 to the most popular in 2023.
So, yeah. And the time spent watching on these have tripled. So went from two minutes
to six minutes. It doesn't sound like much, but when you over, you figure out all overall tuning
in, it's a lot, um, AI driven AI driven podcasts reaches 45 million Americans. And what they mean
by this, I do believe is some of what I do. Uh, we don't have a budget. We don't have a big budget
here. So I use AI to do some of the voices. I think that people that know my dialect and know
how I sound know that it's me, but the voice is completely different. If you listen to some of
these, yeah, if you listen to some of these voices, it's, it's me, you can tell because of the way
that I talk. So, and I think that that is indicative of maybe garnering people to tune in.
If you hate the voice, you're not going to listen to it. If you love it, you're going to listen to
it. That's it. So, you know, if you're 50 50, you're still 50%. Right.
Yeah. Yeah. So I mean, it's really, you know, in how you're going about it and, and keep building
up steam and listenership and getting people hooked, people wanting your product, you know,
I'm sure that Reese's pieces or whatever. Okay. Um, let's say a Reese's peanut butter cups. They
first came out or when nibbled, right? They're like, ah, that's okay. Yeah. I like it. Then like
a couple of weeks, I were like, you know, that was, I'm going to go get me another box of those.
That's pretty good. And then a half year later, they're hooked on them. They're buying them every
week with the rest of their groceries. So this is no, no exception AI driven podcasting and all this.
And the thing is, is the AI driven. The reason I'm saying this now is because this allows us to
compete with a bigger radio station, conglomerates, because now a guy like me can have 30 different
voices, but it can be me. I'm not charging myself to do a podcast. You're not charging yourself.
Right. Okay. So, right. But just, so everybody knows, just to clarify while we are doing this
podcast and you hear both of us, it's us. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, and thank you for clearing
that up because some people might get an idea that I'm saying that it's AI driven. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. I mean, there is no question. I am truly back marks truly sitting right there. Yes. Yeah.
So we don't have the video to prove it. No. And another thing is tonight's election night.
There's a big election going on right now. And we're doing this because quite simply,
there is nothing you can do about it. And it's not going to be solved for us. And I think
do about it. And it's not going to be solved for quite a while. So why even look, we'll look later
and I'll go over there and look, I'll go home. Okay. They won. All right. Well, I guess I'm
going to keep doing what I'm doing. Honestly, to be told, um, it won't be announced till tomorrow.
Yeah. At the, at the worry about it today at the earliest, I did my part. I did too. I did too.
Um, I found out something though. I could, I could, uh, because I went to my old county to vote,
I could only vote for the presidency. I could not vote for the local issues.
I didn't realize this because I was told some bad information by a guy that was going around
signing people up. Um, he was going around registering them to vote. And he told me,
he said, no, no, no, you can vote in your old county. He said, it's no big deal.
But what he didn't tell me is, is you couldn't vote. You could not vote on the local issues.
You had to only vote for the presidency because that can be done anywhere.
As long as it's in your state. Yeah. See me and my son stopped on our way home from work.
Good. I'm glad you did. Um, and yeah, yeah, it's right here in town. So yeah, we're,
yeah, we got the vote on everything. Well, I found out that the Greek Orthodox
church just right down the road is a polling center from us. So I've got to do the due
diligence and go switch me over to Jackson County instead of Cass County. Um, which does sadden me,
but it's the way it is. Um, I could not keep up two properties, plain and simple,
and work. So, uh, it is what it is, but now I have to vote here. So next time the local elections
come up, I will be ready for it. This time, at least I got to get my presidency Dyson and that's
it. So podcasting is looking up. There's a lot more I could say, but I don't want to bore anybody.
You know, right, right, right. Yeah. Yeah. So, um, Rob, do you want to tell your story that you
thought of today? Is this a good time or do you want to go a little bit deeper in the podcast?
What do you think? Let's wait for the second round to that. Okay. All right. That sounds good.
Yeah. Um, but yeah, I have something here. Okay. Something that everybody needs to know. All right.
And I'm catching early enough. You're welcome.
Thank you. I'm smoking a cigar, not a joint. Everyone's hearing the flicking. Everyone's
probably hearing the flicking of a lighter. I'm smoking a cigar, not a joint. Go ahead.
Full disclosure, I'm not a joint. I'm a
joint. Go ahead. Full disclosure. Yeah. Yeah. We all know you smoke cigars.
Well, yeah, I just, I know you do. I know, but I thought I'd clarify that because I clicked my
lighter like 10 times while you were talking. I was like, I better clarify. Anyhow, go ahead. I'm
sorry. Um, after half a century as an annual CBS Christmas time special, the beloved Lincoln
classic Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer is switching networks and returning to NBC for its 60th
anniversary. Because it was CBS, wasn't it? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, it's been CBS,
but it's switching networks for the 60th anniversary. And NBC was the original, right? NBC.
Yeah, and it was the original. Very cool. Considered to be the longest running holiday special in
television history. The 1964 stop motion animated special is set to air on NBC on Friday, December
6 at 8 p.m. Eastern, which will be 7 p.m. Central. The exact same day it first premiered on NBC
as part of the General Electric Fantasy Hour. An encore presentation will air on Wednesday, December
11. Fucking awesome. Um, I got one thing. Okay. So if you're not finding it on CBS, go to NBC.
That's where you'll find it. Thank you, Rob. That's a great story. Go ahead. I'm sorry.
Go ahead. I'm sorry. Just two dates up. And that's it. Okay. December 6, 7 p.m. and Wednesday,
December 11. It said animation, but they're talking about the claymation one that we're used to,
right? Yeah, it's the claymation. Okay. Okay. When we grew up watching, brother. But that's what I
thought you meant. And I wanted to make sure. So yeah, everybody, it's the one that like,
looks like claymation. Everyone will know. The original. Yeah, the original. It's just like a
year without a Santa Claus and all those. I mean, I cannot wait to see those again. There's something
special and magical about those, not just because we grew up on them, but just the, um, the feel of
them. It's the time of year. The time of year. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, still I get, I get a little
bit of that Christmas rush, that that spirit. It's fantastic. So everybody watch it. You'll love it.
Okay. I got one story to cover here real quick. I did it on the sports bastards earlier, and I'm
going to do it now because I think it's really interesting to the mindset of the rest of the NFL.
And, okay. And then we'll go to break and we'll come back and we'll, I got emails we can do,
but I think we'll go to our stories. Does that sound good? Yeah, sounds good. Okay. That's our
plan. Okay. ESPN's Jeremy Fowler is reporting that the league has given Andy Reed the name pink slip
Andy. He has caused, he has caused many coaches demise in his division. Um, every, every one of
them were fired. It's been a complete turnaround over and over and over. The list of casualties
is in the tens ever since he's been there. He's been here since what, 2013, 2014, something like
that. Right. The list, who I didn't, I didn't bother to put on here is huge of the people that
fell victim to Andy Reed. Andy Reed did so well that all these people were let go because they
could not beat him. And that an unnamed executive of one of these teams said that they have dubbed
him all over all the NFL pink slip Andy. KC has won eight straight division titles and well on
their way to another one. Um, he has seen, well, as eight and over at this moment. Yeah. Yeah.
He's eight and oh, and he was hired in 2013. And it looks to me like, I think it says here,
12 coaches, 12 coaches fell victim while he's been in that seat in Kansas city. And these are his
direct competition, his direct competition, the people that were hired to take him down.
So no wonder they call him pink slip Andy. And no wonder he will probably go down as the greatest
coach ever when it's all said and done in my opinion. And this is not just because I'm a chief
summer. This is fact. If you look at the body work, go ahead. I'm sorry. Just say it. Just say it. I,
I've always liked Andy Reed, whether he was with Philadelphia or whoever. I, he was, I always admired
him as a coach. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, he was on the ground level of so many quarterbacks. I mean,
I mean, Brett Favre on, he's, he's done awesome. I, I'm not for sure, but I'll have to look this up.
But I think he might've been part of Bill Walsh's regime regime back in the day. That would have
been the Montana young and, and then whoever. I'm thinking I read that somewhere. I do believe that
he was a part of that. And then he's a quarterback coach up in green Bay. I believe he's responsible
for telling Brett Favre that, you know, if you ever want to be anything in NFL, you're going to
have to learn to read defenses. Brett Favre listened and became one of the best ever.
Except for that whole Wiener gate thing. We won't get into that. Yeah.
Anyhow. All right, let's take our first break. And I'm glad I got the word Wiener gate in.
That makes me feel better. Wiener gate. It is a question. You know, I mean, the word is,
is if you say Wiener gate three times that his penis will appear on your phone.
Next. All right. We'll be back.
That, that fell over like, like a lead balloon.
I almost said something, but I did. Okay.
Okay. What we're going to leave that right there. Okay.
Oh man. What the fuck is this? This is a new feature. What's inside Mark's head?
Sounds stupid to me. If you took my first name backwards, it would read as cram.
Hey there, fuck stick. You're just in time for brand new feature news. Nobody gives a shit about
new research indicates that you can swim right after eating. Hey, look, I think we found land.
Oh my God. I think we're safe. Oh no. It's the island of horrible jokes.
My wife said I should do lunches to stay in shape. That is a big step forward.
And now deep thoughts with Mark.
Hmm. Let's see if a worm could talk, would it be argumentative? I may never know.
Two douchebags and microphone. I'm Mark. And I am Rob.
Real quick. Tomorrow night I have to prove that I'm a great husband and I have to go
endure creed at the T-Mobile center. Just an act like I love it. Just to prove I'm a good husband.
So everybody wish me luck. Say a prayer. Hey, hey, hey. Oh, yeah.
Hey, there's any way I could pass as you? I like creeps.
I do. I like creeps. If I didn't think I would.
They're early stuff. They're early stuff.
They're early stuff. Okay. You know what? You're right. The early stuff is pretty good.
All right. Okay. All right. Well, it sounded. The first, we'll say two albums.
Yeah. And it sounded better when I was doing a sacrifice for this. But, you know, okay.
So anyhow, hey, you were. Hey, hey. Oh, damn it.
Okay. We were on a roll. We were on a roll too. I don't know where
I quit recording, but that kind of sucks. Do you realize every time we get on a roll,
if it's recording or something happens. Something happens. You're right. Yeah. What
I said was November is a month of love, right? No. No. No. No. February. February.
It'll be funny if that went over twice and they're like, oh, those dickheads.
Well, it was something like that. But of course it's not nearly as good as the original. It's
a replica. It was February. Okay.
Valentine's day. Okay. Okay. I stand corrected.
And anyhow, Rob, you had a story you wanted to get to.
Yes, I do. I was at work today. Like I said, things have been slow. So,
you know, I've been doing my next music list at work. So, and I'm not afraid to show that
if anybody works with us, that it works. Rob, I think, yeah. Yeah. Okay.
But I got thinking, man. It's been a while since I've been, since I came up with the story from
back in the day. You know what I mean? I got thinking about this one day. Me and you were
sitting at your mom and dad's dining room table. Okay. And your brother, John, comes down
downstairs. And he has this paper bag in his hand.
I'm kind of afraid to ask. Oh, no, dude. I hope you remember this.
Okay. This was hilarious.
Okay. And he comes down and we said,
what you doing, John? And he sets the bag down on the table and pulls a bag of big razors
out. And it was like at least a 10 ounces. He definitely needed it.
And he goes, I want to shave my mustache and beard off.
You remember when he shaved his mustache and beard off?
I do, but all this is refreshing a little bit of my memory there.
I do remember that you and I were kind of blindsided and we're like, what would...
Yeah. Yeah. You were just sitting there, dining room tables,
just bullshit, doing whatever. He comes down the stairs.
It was those cheap yellow big, old big razors, the disposable. Yeah.
It was at least, he went through the whole bag doing it.
And he didn't even get it all. I remember that.
And he didn't have shaving cream. Not just didn't get it all,
but he was in there for like an hour, hour and a half.
He was using soap. He didn't have shaving cream.
And then when he walked out, he had all these toilet paper sheets.
Yes, I remember that.
Do you remember our reaction? We just looked at each other and we looked at each other and said,
dude, you look great, man. That is such an improvement.
And one other thing was, man, I think you can pitch up some chicks now.
Yeah. Instead of laughing at him.
Oh God, we wanted to fuck and roll out of them damn chairs.
We laughed at him after he left.
Well, yeah. And then he went back upstairs. We died laughing.
Well, what we did was we had to be working and working a couple hours.
And we all rode together.
And so when we get to Jesse's jibs, man, you kind of lagged back and let him walk in first.
Yes, I remember that.
And we were out in the parking lot and we heard everybody laughing at him
because he went from having a mustache and beard to like
baby face, you know.
He had all these cuts.
Yes.
And like you said, the patches, he bit.
And we're sitting there talking, dude, you look great.
You look amazing.
No, we set him up so bad.
We did not hear a word out of him the rest of the night, not even on the ride home.
He was really sore that he did it. I can tell you that right now.
Not only his face hurting, but his feelings were sore
because it didn't go anywhere like he thought it was going to
because of me and you setting him up.
I remember that well.
Everybody's there.
Everybody's like, oh, I remember that well now.
Thank you. Gosh, Rob.
Wow.
I don't know if I would have ever thought of that again, actually.
You know, I remember like the big stories, like the time he got thrown in jail for me
for because that hotel party.
And I remember the big stuff, but a lot smaller stuff,
like the time we took that dude to Harrisonville and the guy jumped out of the car.
That's the oh, yeah.
Oh, God, I don't remember that stuff until you bring it up.
That was classic.
You know, the famous story that I told at John's funeral.
Oh, go ahead.
I'm sorry.
I was just going to add that that could have only true life happened in the 80s.
Yeah.
And we and the other thing is we were such assholes, we didn't bother to go look
to see if the guy was OK.
We're like, OK, jumped out.
All right. Whatever.
We just kept going.
You see, I remember the big stuff.
Well, not if we tried to make it take.
We were going to rape you.
You know, we were talking with John sold it so well
when he started smoothing in on him and put his hand on his knee.
And then that was it.
The guy was gone.
I remember a lot of the big stuff, but not the smaller stuff like that.
I told this one at my brother's.
Oh, go ahead.
Probably the reason why you had a hard time with him,
Rick, originally was because you were driving my car.
Really?
In the passenger seat, watching it go on back.
Yeah, the back seat.
Look at the rear.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You were driving.
You were driving like the police.
Yeah. And the reason was, is you had a couple of pops and you were like,
yeah, go ahead and drive because I didn't have anything.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. We're still going to ride some more.
But yeah, it was like the time.
Well, let me see how to say this properly.
I was receiving a favor in the back seat and BJ was driving so I could receive
this favor in the back seat.
And I look up and the rear view mirror is right at my head and something else going on.
You know, right.
Let me put her head and something going on.
And he's staring with his mouth open while running a red light.
And I'm like, you just ruined my you just ruined my fucking mouth.
You son of a bitch.
I go to the girl and you know what?
I think she listened to a couple of podcasts.
Okay.
But anyhow, I'm not saying your name.
Okay.
So anyhow, I was so mad.
I go, BJ, you fucked up one of the best things that ever happens to a man because you about
got us killed staring at us.
So I had to cut that off, drop BJ off and go resume it somewhere else.
But by that time, she wasn't in the mood because she had BJ staring at her while she was doing
it.
Thanks a lot, BJ fucker.
Anyhow, just say it.
Not the first time that happened.
No, no, no, no.
Evidently that exact situation that you had.
You know, evidently, that exact situation.
But yeah, BJ, evidence.
We love you, Beige.
But evidently, he is quite.
Such a cock block.
Oh, gosh.
Yeah, he was so bad.
Oh, he was so bad.
And he was admitted.
He admitted it.
Oh, yeah.
I'll cock block you.
Yeah.
He took pride in it.
The rest of us were like, no, no, man's honor.
We don't get in the way of you and pussy.
We don't.
We do not get in the way.
You do what you have to do.
And whatever you need said, we'll say for you.
Remember, it was like an all for one.
It's like, yeah, yeah, my buddy Rob here.
Oh, yeah, he was saving whales on the West Coast.
And he got a call.
Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Whatever that girl was into, you were there.
You were already on it.
And we were pumping you up so good.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
And all the girls wanted.
Man, it just gets really tiring.
All of us go to a party and they all hang around Rob.
And we don't know what to do, man.
He's just got this savoir faire.
He's got this thing.
He's got this it.
And I mean, you know what I mean?
And you guys would do it to me and we do it to you.
But BJ was different.
If he could get in the way, he would.
So anyhow, OK, Jim from around Archie now, a friend of mine,
I went to school with him.
All right.
OK, he reminded me of a story and I was like, oh, my gosh,
this is one of the best freaking pranks ever pulled in school,
in high school, OK, because most of my famous pranks came later,
you know, as a teenager.
So, OK, there's this guy named Trent.
He's a real dickhead in school, but he was an incredible sketch artist.
He could draw these sketches like no one could believe.
He used to draw these amazing stick figures.
Someone said he went to work for Disney and I believe it.
He was that good.
He drew these stick figures that didn't make sense at first by the way he was doing it.
And then at the end, he had this like portrait of these stick figures
that was just immaculate with different looks on their faces and different things.
Do you know what I'm talking about?
Yeah, it was just it was a work of art how he did it.
He made these stick the stick figures animated with personality
and he could do this just like that anytime, liberally, just on a piece of paper.
So it's pretty much how cartoons started.
Yeah, yeah.
He went from what I understand, he was a cartoonist drawer at Disney.
I don't know.
I don't know if that's a fact.
I've heard that from a couple of people that he went to work for Disney because he
he submitted some of his stuff and they were like, that guy has what we need.
And they sent him down there for an audition and he started working there.
So anyhow, he's really good at this.
OK, so one day someone wrote a love letter to this girl
and everyone gave her shit but me because she had green teeth and greasy hair.
She was like she looked like her face was put on upside down.
OK, I mean, she was really mangled looking.
And like I said, she had green crooked teeth and she smelled.
She didn't take a shower very much.
OK, and I'm not going to say her name because a lot of people all of a sudden said,
oh, I know, I know who you're talking about.
OK, so someone wrote it.
We had one of them in what felt.
Yes.
Yeah, well, I think we all did.
And every town had.
Yeah.
So yeah, so I even remember her full name.
So anyhow, she was disgusting and I never gave her shit because I did not believe in
bullying.
I got bullied and I would never do that.
I swore to myself I would never bully anybody and I had no reason to.
She had a bad enough life.
It was, you know, she knew she wasn't pretty.
She knew that she didn't have very much money.
She knew that she wasn't well kept.
She learned what she learned from her parents, probably.
OK, so she had a bad she had a bad shuffling in life as it begins with.
And I'm not piling on.
So now Trent was a dickhead to me because I hung out with this girl that he liked and
we were just friends, but he would never believe that he was always jealous of it.
Yeah, I'd walk up and he'd be like, oh, she's with Mark again.
And I didn't like the guy.
I would have told him, I said, dude, man, go ahead, man, ask her out.
I'm not going out with her, dude, you know, but instead he gets pissy and tries to make
fun of me and stuff like that.
And I'm like, dude, it's not working because now she thinks you're an even bigger asshole
before she thought about it.
You might be a big asshole.
Now she knows you're a big asshole.
So, so small, small town where travels.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
And she hated him.
She hated him because he was a dickhead to me and we were good friends.
So one day someone wrote this letter to the homely girl and his love letter.
Um, let's, uh, call her Jane.
Okay, Jane, it was a fake letter signed anonymous.
Trent being the little jealous bitch that he was, he told Jane it was for me and I wanted
to ask her out.
So me not wanting to pile on.
I was probably a little bit too nice.
I went through hell being nice and trying to shake her.
Um, and I found out later on it was Trent.
So anyhow, it took me a long time to shake her because like I said, I don't believe in
bullying.
I never have.
I was bullied myself and I fucking hate that with a passion.
So I refused to pile on.
So I had to be nice and let her down nice.
So finally I just had to tell her, Hey, uh, look, um, um, Jane, um, someone faked that
letter.
I know about it and I'm sorry.
I think you're really cool.
I think you're awesome.
You look great, but I've just, I just don't want to date.
I said something like that, right?
This move that over, you know, I got too much going on.
I'm afraid it's going to affect my studies, but she saw my grades.
She believed it.
She wouldn't believe that, you know?
So, uh, so anyhow, so, um, I went home and I thought about it.
I'm like, all right, bitch, I know what I'm going to do.
I spent a year perfecting a replica of his talented stick figures.
I did it.
I did him perfectly.
It took me forever, but I did him perfectly.
It looked just like his work.
And this is a stick figures, not the other stuff he did.
I could not do the other stuff.
He did the stick figures.
I could do it, but it took me a long, long time.
So my plan of revenge in my work.
So we shared a history class together, probably over a year later, my work of art was complete.
A stick figure drawing on sketch paper, I stole from him.
So it was his sketch paper too.
And anyhow, it was a stick figure of him kicking our history teacher in the ass and is labeled
Mrs X. Our history teacher is a piece of shit or something like that.
And I can't wait to kick her in the ass.
I wrote all this stuff.
And anyhow, it was his drawing.
And I crumpled it up.
Mrs X, let's call her Mrs X. She used to pick up all these little, all these notes
off the ground because she'd find love notes and go, oh, so and so has a crush on so and
so I see here.
Let's see what it says.
Oh, you pulled the classic out the classic.
Yeah, because he did that to me, a fake letter.
So I did it to him, but it was much more believable because it had his sketch on there, but it
didn't.
It was his sketch paper and it was a sketch that looked just like his.
And it was a picture of her that looked really good on a stick figure and a picture of him
that looked really good on a stick figure and had a picture of him with his boot in
her ass and saying all this stuff.
I forgot what and I crumpled it up and I threw it in the corner because I knew that Mrs
X would find it.
Well, needless to say, Trent, and that is his real name.
I don't have to say his last name.
Trent gotten a lot of shit over that.
He got paddling.
He got in school suspension for a couple of weeks and they took it as a threat.
They said that this was a direct threat to the well-being of their teacher and he had
to do like two weeks of in school suspension, which sucked because that would compile to
a lot of you looking at a brick wall all day.
Your desk is in the corner looking at brick wall in solitude and he got he got swats with
old Sparky on top of that.
So he one question was he a football player?
No, no, he was not.
No, OK.
No, he just regular Joe.
No, because then I'd be putting like Icy Hot in his jock strap and get big and to bite
his nuts or something.
You know.
Yeah.
So no, anyhow, and real quick, I will let you know, I got a stolen copy of Antonio Pierce
of the Oakland of the Los Angeles Raiders, his Raiders, his resume.
And it says I beat I beat Patrick Mahomes once.
That's it.
OK, anyhow, let's take our second break.
We'll go to a story of you and then I have some emails.
Does that sound good?
Sounds good.
I'm going to put the seal of approval on it.
OK, OK.
What's where's the douchebag one?
Let's see.
No, no, no.
That's my stamp saying I'm going to pay.
Let's see.
That's my stamp.
I need it.
Oh, here it is.
Here it is.
OK, good.
OK.
OK, got it.
All right.
It's stamped and approved.
We'll be right back with such.
Now, from this underground bunker camped in Missouri, stocked with dried goods, canned
food, and a couple of vibrating toys, is ramblings of a madman featuring Rob Rad.
When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong one.
Two douchebags and microphones, and a pair of
two douchebags and microphone in an effort to keep everything fresh.
We offer you first world problems.
Oh shit.
Look at that drive-thru wine.
Surely they don't expect me to actually have to go in.
This sucks.
You watched the news.
It looks grim.
Is this an apocalypse?
Inevitable?
We suggest you download all our podcasts beforehand and have multiple mobile chargers.
We have the post of apocalypse.
Very important for survival is to know the predators in your area.
Study up on them and grab a few wildlife books to keep in your shelter.
Find information for ways to kill the animal if available and not damage the meat.
A crossbow is usually most effective.
Tools such as a duck call or a moose call could help when seek out possible food to
kill.
Search all uses for an animal after it is killed such as the pelt, the hooves or antlers
can make a handy weapon if needed.
Next up, things overheard in hell.
Fox with socks are the only footwear allowed in hell.
So mama's so old she walked out of the museum and the alarm went off.
You're not Rob.
Alright Rob, we turn to you for the next bit of information that will change your life.
Actually it will.
I mean this is one of those fact finding missions.
I could feel it.
You know the song Tiny Dancers by Elton John?
Yeah, oh yeah.
A lot of people do, a lot of people do and a lot of people know that that song was worked
for somebody that nobody can ever figure out who.
I've never known, I've never known that information to be out there.
I ran across this article I'm about to read to you.
Sounds good, this is the stuff, we uncover stuff you really need to know.
Hey, this is a classic song.
It is, I do too and I normally, Elton John's the exception of music like that, I love his
stuff he is so good.
Anyhow, go ahead.
Tiny Dancer was first released on Elton John's 1971 album Madman Across the Water and just
saying if you have not listened to that album, listen to it, it's a great album.
It is, it really is.
When the edited single version was released in 1972 it only reached number 41.
As more album cuts were played on FM radio in the 1970s, Tiny Dancer in its original
form became a listener favorite.
Tiny Dancer was written by John and Bernie Topin who was inspired to write the lyrics
after his first visit to the US.
We came to California in the fall of 1970 and it seemed like sunshine just radiated
from the populace.
Topin told Roland Stout, I guess I was trying to capture the spirit of that time and capsulated
by the woman we met especially at the clothes stores and restaurants and bars all up and
down the Sunset Strip.
They were these free spirits, sexy, all hip huggers and lacy blouses, very ethereal the
way they moved.
They were just so different from what I didn't used to in England and had this saying about
emboldening your clothes.
They wanted to sew patches on your jeans.
They mothered you and slept with you and it was the perfect adipo complex.
Topin admitted that the song was also based on his then wife Maxine.
I knew it was about me she revealed in the New York Post.
I had been into ballet as a little girl and sewed patches on Elton's jackets and jeans
which are both referenced in the tune.
As for the title, Topin would only say, Why can't tiny dancer?
Well I guess that's just poetic license.
It just sounds better than small dancer or little dancer.
I agree with that.
Yeah.
So it's a mixture of two but I can see it being about his wife.
Very cool.
Wow, that's something I never knew and that's cool.
I mean Elton John.
I've heard different theories but I always figured that was the one and this story backed
that up.
That's funny because I never really heard anything about the origin of Tiny Dancer.
Haven't you ever wondered?
Oh yeah, I have.
Okay well thank you Rob for that.
That's very cool.
How about some emails?
Sounds good.
We need to get him caught up.
I'm not doing anymore, Hey Rob glad you're fine or how's Rob doing or anything like that.
He addressed that the last one.
It's done with.
He's doing well.
He's back on the program.
We love it and it's right there.
So thank you for the well wishes.
We appreciate it.
Yes, thank you everybody.
Eat down.
Thank you.
It was really humbling and flattering that that many people bothered to take time out
of their day to ask about you and to wish you well.
That's just amazing.
Especially with my friend that, oh I can't say what he does now.
He was into podcasting for a major, I think as a radio conglomerate pretty much.
Well he's.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well he's back in an industry to where I can't talk about because it might be along the same
line something like that.
He said that most shows on radio might get an email every three weeks.
He could not believe it.
I had him printed out and I sent them to him.
He's like, geez.
He goes, man, he goes, whatever you got going there, it's really personal with your audience.
And I'm like, that's what we wanted.
So yeah, yeah.
So anyhow.
Hey, hey, hey, why will get personal?
Yeah.
Hi Grandma Opal.
Hi Jimmy.
Hi Ricky.
Hi Grandma Opal.
Hi Jimmy.
Hi Ricky.
I hope you guys answer me, but my email might be screwed up again.
You know, so I can't honestly say they answered me or they didn't.
So if you're still out there, we're going to keep calling you out.
And that's it, man.
Hi Grandma.
Hi Jimmy.
Hi Ricky.
Dodge City, Kansas, our biggest fans.
We love you guys.
Well, we got like four more weeks.
We agreed on the last show.
Yep.
And I hope you dodge the Nader's that were all over the place the last few days.
Yes.
Yeah.
Okay.
First one.
Hey, dumb shits.
Why do you keep referring to your segments as being on air?
You're just a stupid podcast, not on the dial.
Mitch in Topeka.
Mitch go for a brother.
I will.
Mitch, sir, we didn't mean to confuse you.
I mean, would you have to download our shows from Spotify or Apple podcasts and such, you
know, podcast areas.
You had to download our show from there.
We really didn't mean to confuse you.
So I realize with all these podcast sites being the only place you can get us, it must
been an enormous burden on one simple mind.
Oh, hang on.
Rob, wait a minute, Rob.
This just in this just in.
Fuck off, Mitch.
We can say fuck off.
You know why we can say fuck off?
Because we're a podcast.
Now go eat a bowl of unsweetened shit flakes with a fork.
Fair enough.
Well enough said, my friend.
And we move on.
Okay.
Next one.
I'm really looking forward to the music creeps you keep talking about.
When will it start?
As soon as the Super Bowl is played, it's starting immediately after that.
And we think we found a way to get Rob involved because we're going to be recording these
on Tuesdays.
And Rob's of course going to be at work.
So the questions that we're going to be asking each other, I will submit to you too.
And we will read your answers on the show.
That works.
And you won't hear Rob's you won't hear Rob talking, but you're going to get his answers.
So that's the best we can do with this one is.
Yeah, no, no.
I honestly, I definitely want to be involved in that show.
We want you to be involved in the park.
I love music and I think other people have figured that out, especially Tulsa King.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Tulsa King.
He's sorry.
Sorry, sorry, I had to steal our next list real quick.
90s or 90s list.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
When are we doing that next week?
That's what I thought.
Okay.
I've got five of them.
It's top ten, right?
Part of my problem was a lot of I was just going off songs I was listening to and thought
oh, okay, these are 90s.
I'm doing.
I went and looked them up.
No, they were 2000 and up.
Okay, I'm doing a deep dive.
But I have a kick ass list going.
I've got a really good one, too.
Go ahead.
Yeah, come on.
Come on, Tulsa King.
We're ready.
We're back with it.
We're ready.
He's.
I love doing these lists.
I don't know about you, Mark.
I love doing them, too, because I started looking up the 90s and the top hits and then
I started looking at radio airplay and what was big for a few minutes.
And it's really cool.
I'm getting a lot of ideas from that.
It's kind of hard to search.
You have to word it just right.
But if you word it just right, you get some gold.
You get gold in there.
So yeah.
Yeah.
So that's going to be cool.
So the music creeps is definitely on the music creeps are is going to involve Rob.
And we're glad that you have interest in it because we are really.
We love doing the NFL show.
I know we love doing the NFL shows and we're sticking to that until the season is over.
And then we're going to go into the music creeps.
And then after we do enough music, we'll go into something else.
I'm thinking about big bluffs.
Big bluffs.
People things that were people thought were real for years, but turned out not to be real.
Oh, hoaxes.
Hoaxes.
Yeah.
That's a better way of putting it.
Hoaxes.
I think it might be after that.
So, oh, yeah.
The next one, Rob, what's your favorite color?
Teresa in Lake Ozark.
You want to give her your email?
Send this directly to Rob.
Well, I'm kind of torn.
Okay.
By heart, I'm blue.
I am Pisces.
But I've grown to like purple.
Okay.
You add a little red.
You got it.
Yeah.
You know.
So, yeah, that's my favorite color.
And you're in Lake Ozark.
Lake Ozark.
That's what I said.
Give her your email.
How do I get it to her?
Just say it right now.
I would assume she'd be listening.
Okay.
Lower letters, S-A-W-M-A-N-1-9-6-9-3-5 at gmail.com.
There you go, Teresa.
Or look me up on Facebook.
Oh, even better.
Yeah.
You will see it attached to two douchebags and microphone.
So there.
So, Teresa, you want to know more about Rob?
You can go straight to him.
And not that I, you know, that's the best way to do it, right?
Yeah.
So anyhow, so Teresa, there you go.
There is Rob's.
Out of the blue.
Yeah.
Out of the blue.
Yeah.
I like that.
And Lake Ozark is not that far from you.
Oh, dude.
It's right here.
Right here.
Yeah.
That's why I was like my eyes lit up.
You just talked to him directly.
And I am single.
Yeah.
You guys could go get an omelet or some shit, right?
I don't know if he's single.
Oh, OK.
OK.
Yeah.
You're going to get an omelet if you're single.
If you're not single, then he's just.
Yeah.
If you're not single, I'll talk to you about it.
Yeah, that's it.
So he's not into getting.
If you're taking.
No, I don't.
I don't.
I don't mess around that way.
I'm allergic to baseball bats.
Yeah.
Right.
I'm allergic to baseball bats.
Right.
So any.
And other things.
OK.
Moving on.
Mark, is there any way you could do solo cast that are specific subjects like paranormal?
Tony and Miriam.
If I do a solo cast.
Yeah.
I would rather do it with Rob if he's up to it.
Yeah, I'll do it with you.
Yeah.
I know you're saying solo cast because this I think this email came in before you came
back.
That's why it said solo cast.
I don't think I don't think it's like they just want to hear me.
I think they just thought that's all that's available.
So yeah, I'm up for that.
Are you?
Sure.
I've got some stories that will blow your mind.
That's all I got there.
I cannot go into it, but I think I told you about a couple of them.
Didn't I, Rob?
Yeah.
You know, I got a couple stories to real life stories.
I have pictures that will blow your mind.
I got to get them off my Facebook somewhere because that phone was eaten by my mower earlier
this year.
So I remember that.
I remember.
Yeah.
This was taken at the Crescent.
And okay.
I was taking a picture from the balcony inside showing a friend of mine the room.
There is nothing on the bed.
But when you look in it, there is a shadowy silhouette of an old woman lying on the bed.
Without a doubt, it is an old woman lying on the bed.
There is nothing on the bed.
Nothing.
Not not a suitcase, not a handbag, not even a fucking tootsie roll.
And I can find that picture and I can post it.
It has not been doctored or nothing.
When I saw it, I just I got these weird tinglings fell the same way.
Everybody I showed was like, wow, this is a real deal.
And then I have other stuff that happened to me personally via when I used to go out
of town a lot.
Anyhow, you know what?
We'll get to that later.
I'm just saying I'm just saying I know the Crescent history.
That's why I didn't say a word.
There's no doubt in my mind.
Well I mean pretty much if there's going to be disturbed souls, it's there.
I know the history of that hotel.
If there's disturbed souls, it's going to be there because the guy was the charlatan.
He said that the base of spring water could cure cancer.
All these people took their aunt and their mom and dad there to get well.
He had them write a bunch of letters in advance saying that they're going to be too busy in
their recovery.
And they were essentially sending letters from a dead person act like they were alive
to keep the money coming.
It got so bad.
They do not know how many bodies were there.
Because they started incinerating them because they were stacking up and they're like, well,
we're just going to have to start burning them up.
So and then it was a girl's school where one of the girls committed suicide.
And then after that it was something else, a hotel or something where one of the guys
committed suicide.
Mikey's room.
They say that's the most haunted.
I've never been in there and I have no intention of going there.
So anyhow, okay.
Mark, no, no, no, no, hang on.
I'm on the next one.
Rob, Mark goes on vacations a lot.
Do you go on any?
I've never heard you mention any.
Lee and Cassville.
I know where Cassville is at, don't you?
Yeah, it's it's on the way to Eureka Springs.
It's I want to say southwest to me.
It's 40 minutes from Eureka Springs.
Yeah, Springfield.
It's outside Springfield.
Yeah, it's a little 44.
Yeah, it's down a little ways.
So anyhow, Rob, it's still like two hours for me.
Yeah, yeah.
It would be because you're over east.
What I'm just.
We got locals.
The new updated way that they do this.
Me.
Yeah, the the new the new way they share the data on RSS.com and the Google Analytics are
more personal.
We have a lot more listeners around here than I ever thought.
Okay.
Now, let's get back to the question.
Okay.
Vacations.
Honestly.
No, I don't take vacations.
Well, I do.
Because I happen to work for a company that like Thanksgiving, we're going to have four
days off.
Uh huh.
Two of them paid.
Uh huh.
Two of them paid.
And then.
Holidays.
Now.
Right before Christmas through New Year's, we're going to be shut down for like two and
a half weeks.
But that's why we save up our vacation time.
I I I save up to.
I I've lived most of my life in the construction field.
So I know when you're working hard all the time, you save up as much as you can.
It gets you to the hard times like winter.
You know, you know, the districts.
Yeah, I know.
So so what I do is I save as much of my vacation time and I have two weeks.
Plus we're we're given unemployment.
And the day before Thanksgiving, I get my year with bonus.
I'll be fine.
So I I really have no reason to take a vacation right now.
That's cool.
It's just me.
You know, I I got to pay the bills.
You know.
Yeah, look, I mean, Rob's by himself.
The but if something if I was to meet somebody, whatever.
Yeah, I'll be taking vacations.
I'll get doing whatever.
No, it is me.
At that point, you'll be splitting the bills and you'll be able to do it a lot easier with
more room because right now being alone, you have to live in caution.
What if what if you break your leg?
What if you get sick?
What if all this stuff?
I hey, hey, that's that's one thing I could say about the company I work for.
They offer a different insurance.
Oh, like a lot like Aflac.
OK, well, I'll get my boost.
The company name is Assurity.
Oh, I know them.
Yeah, yeah, they do a lot of they do a lot of insurances like Nebraska.
They offer and they're a lot like Aflac.
Me and my son both took out the accidental.
That's the best thing to do.
Like, yeah, I got hurt at work.
I got a piece of steel in my eye.
Oh, I remember that.
Not only did the cup, you know, workman's top paper, the hospital, the doctor's visit
and all that.
But I got a three hundred dollar check just for getting hurt.
Pretty solid.
Just because I said all just because I said a piece of paper saying something that happened.
That's pretty solid.
Plus, I took out the.
Short term disability.
I'm old man.
I may have to have a surgery or whatever.
Whatever.
No, that's you.
You got to protect yourself.
Bottom line.
So.
OK, the bad thing is I'm killing myself doing it.
Well, we talked about how you're going to transition and do other go into other fields.
Yeah, we are.
It's you have a plan.
So OK, Rob, we're glad you're back.
Myself and all at a one auto body in Springfield.
A one a one auto is on sunshine.
It's on Sunshine Highway or or what is it?
Sun Sun.
I think it's sunshine side highway.
Everyone's right there right down south of 44.
I used to go through it all the time going down to Kimberley City.
So thank you guys.
Cool.
Thank you.
A one.
If ever getting a wreck down there, I'll be seeing you guys.
I have family around Springfield, Buffalo, Bolivar.
Yeah, you know where a one is then, right?
Battlefield.
No, no, no.
It's Battlefield Road.
It's not Sunshine Highway.
Oh, battlefield.
Yeah, it's on Battlefield.
Anyhow, I don't know where they're located.
Yeah, I just go by there all the time to cut across the 13.
So I've watched the commercials many a times on TV when I had cable.
OK, all right.
Well, there you go, man.
Thank you guys.
All right.
Next one.
Do you ever see the podcast having guests, a guest host or even a public figure?
I would like to hear an actual interview by you guys.
Ross in Connecticut.
That would be more specialized one like maybe the paranormal or something, right?
This one here is just no, no, no, not necessarily.
OK, you've got to free up the Bluetooth.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
We'll have.
Yeah.
I don't know if this guy's talking about co-hosts for a day, callers, call her in, or if he's
talking about.
Yeah, yeah, I'm guessing this has somebody on the show other than just me and you.
Oh, well, then, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
This that's fine.
But you and Topher will set up different.
Yeah, I can't do that here.
Well, I can add a call now.
I did figure out how to do that somehow, someway.
Yes.
Well, let's fire it up.
Yeah.
I know somebody dying.
Here's the way it has.
OK.
I'm not going to.
OK, the Duke can call me directly.
Let me know.
And then I'll add him.
OK.
You give him my number.
Yes.
And I'm not giving the number here because, man, some of the hate shit we get.
No, no, no, no, no.
Yeah.
By the way, guys, if you hate us that bad, don't fuck with us.
No, it.
It says and yeah, fuck it.
I don't even want to go into it.
There's a reason that people I have read them, but if you're saying it like that, that's
why I'm taking it.
Well, here's the deal.
You know what I mean?
The best thing that can happen is don't listen to us if we're that horrible.
That's what I'm saying.
Yeah.
There's people that like us.
We know we have good numbers and people bother to write us emails.
So I don't get the whole thing.
You're the one that spent, I don't know, 20 minutes coming up for this thing.
I crumple it up and throw it on the floor.
Or unless this one guy, Mitch and Topeka, I answered him because I felt that that needed
a an answer, direct answer, you know, because he's saying, you know, you act like you're
on there.
No, we don't.
We know we're a podcast and you know we're a podcast because where do you go to get us
in the podcast section?
So don't play stupid.
You know, yeah.
It's like going to the grocery store, dude.
Yeah, yeah.
It's like what?
There's groceries here.
Find what you want in that section.
So the guy's like going, hey, we're acting like what?
No, we're not.
We're just having fun.
He's the guy filling in the lines.
And do I think we sound that great?
Probably at times.
No, no, that's the way it is.
It's free.
You get your money's worth like Topeka and I always said from the beginning.
You're getting your money's worth.
It's free.
So but today we did admit on the show that even people that are getting the show for
free may not have been getting their money's worth today a couple of times.
So, okay.
Okay.
And another one.
I'll third some of our shows.
This here was direct message and this is the final one right here, Rob.
Okay.
Oh, sorry.
Were you going to say something?
Go ahead.
No, no, go ahead.
Okay.
This was a direct message.
So it wanted to know how come everyone and answers like Mitch and Freeman or Jack and
Sedalia.
They don't.
I add that because it has their name on it.
And then it says like they're where they're from.
I put them two together myself.
So not everyone would go Jack and Topeka or Mitch and Sedalia or Frank and Springfield.
No, they don't say that.
I take that and put it together myself.
I thought it was an odd question, but I mean, if you think about it like that, I mean, no,
they don't all put it like that.
Like this is so and so and where.
No, I fill in the blanks.
I read their name.
They say where they're from at.
And then I'm the one that goes Mitch and Freeman.
Okay.
But that information is on their email.
So that's how I get that.
So anyhow, Rob, he just gave him first name and name of the town.
Yeah.
I'm just letting you know who's writing in and where they're from.
And that's all it is.
Yeah.
Not all of them.
Some of them do.
Some of them go.
This is a he's not putting their full information out there.
Yeah.
It doesn't.
Some of them do say we protect our friends.
We do.
Some of them say Kenny from Cleveland and some of them don't say anything at all.
But I just go with what it says.
So anyhow, Rob, you got something or you want to call this?
Okay, go ahead.
Actually, I got four minutes about cannabis.
Why not finish the night out of that?
That sounds great.
Okay, myth number one.
Cannabis makes you lazy.
Yeah.
Bust.
Wrong, in fact, a study conducted by the University of Cambridge debunked the lazy stoner stereotype.
The way you feel when using cannabis is usually determined by various factors such as the
type of strain you are using, personal tolerance, and even genetics.
While the effects of cannabis can include a sense of relaxation and euphoria, it does
not make you incapable of getting your work done and achieving success as evidenced by
a number of outspoken athletes, CEOs, and celebrities who enjoy or find benefits in
cannabis.
So yeah, I mean, don't make it your mindset.
Yeah, no, I agree.
I agree.
I'm not gonna lie there, buddy.
I am a cannabis user.
I am.
I know this.
I mean, I bust my butt every day.
You know?
It's legal.
I could sit there and smoke a joint, but if there's something that has to be done, I'll
get up and do it.
If not, I'll sit there and watch me TV tunes or whatever, you know?
But if there's something that needs to be done, I'll get up and do it, even though I
did just smoke a joint.
I understand that one.
Yeah, yeah, I agree with you, Rob.
Some would just put up something really funny about the presidential race that I gotta pass
on, okay?
It says, it feels like we're all in divorce court waiting for the next election.
It feels like we're all in divorce court waiting to see who gets custody of us.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And also, I got something.
Val told me to put ketchup on the grocery list the other day.
I couldn't read it.
I couldn't read it after.
Anything else?
Hang on, hang on.
Do you want to go a little bit longer or not, what do you think?
Leave it up to you.
You're the one that's gotta get up god-awful early.
Oh, I've got three more of these.
Oh, okay.
All right.
Well, hang on.
Okay.
Oh, sorry.
Sorry.
Go ahead with that.
I'm sorry.
I got distracted because I had that direct message.
I was like, I had to go ahead.
Okay.
Go ahead.
I'm sorry.
Okay, myth number two.
The legal cannabis market does not effectively prevent youth access.
Plus, legal dispensaries are strictly regulated, requiring ID checks to ensure customers are
21 or older.
Legal market lacks such controls, making it easier for underage individuals to gain access
to cannabis.
By supporting license dispensaries, you help enforce these regulations, keeping cannabis
out of the hands of minors and promoting responsible consumption.
Like I said, I admit I'm a cannabis user.
Yes, I've been to dispensaries or two.
Yeah, it's strict, very strict.
Yeah.
Just ease people's minds.
No, there is no minors getting in there.
Just saying.
Yeah.
They require your license and you cannot buy anything without a license.
They watch it very closely because these places make a lot of money.
They do not want to get shut down.
Yeah, you're getting really legitimate what it is.
You're getting what you're paying for.
You're getting what it says.
I think it's the best way to do business because the old fashioned way, the drug dealer, you
don't know what you're getting really.
You're just taking their word for it.
Honestly, like I said, I've started going to dispensaries and it's a lot better quality.
It really is.
Yeah, it is.
And they've had so many advances in the way they process it and hydroponic.
And go ahead.
Just saying.
Mine's medicinal, but self-medicinal.
You know what I mean?
It helped.
I've figured out how to do it.
I've figured out it helps me with certain problems in my life.
And that's why I do it.
I actually know a lot of people.
But I've done it since I was a teenager.
I know a lot of people that say the same thing that you just said.
They say it really, truly is medicinal.
It's not a joke.
Because a lot of people use go home I got to go do my medicinal.
No, it really is a medicine for a lot of people.
relaxes them, it calms them, it makes them sort through feelings. It really is an essential
tool in a lot of people's lives.
That's the way I look at it, that's the way you described it, that's the way I look at
it. It calms me down, because when I'm at work, man, I'm going, you know what I mean?
When I get home and I'll sit down and smoke a joint, oh my god, honestly, joint is better
than three beers.
That's excellent. That is excellent, and that's a great way to stop drinking too. Just go
home and smoke a little.
Yeah, yeah, and I'm working on it, bro. I'm working on it.
Dude, man, I think you sound great.
By the way, as of right now, five and a half weeks without a tube.
Excellent, excellent.
Actually, once I hit eight weeks, I'm going to take my backup can out of my work bag and
throw it away.
All I got to say is thank you, God. That is some great news, Rob. Keep up the great work.
You sound so good. Even Topher today said something. He goes, yeah, I listen, and Rob
sounds great. I was like, yeah. I go, yeah. You sound like the Rob that used to call in.
Those good old days.
There's a lot of things in my absence. We'll leave it that way.
Okay. You know what? Yeah, that's good. I was never one to do potting. I can describe
it in something that recently happened. Okay. I was going to go in for therapy for my tinnitus,
right? And it's a form of hypnotism. They said that it's extremely doubtful because
of them interviewing me. They do like a processing. And they said that I am not a type of guy
that will probably adhere to hypnotism. And I was really surprised by that. I was really
surprised by that.
Honestly, that does not surprise me, Mark.
Really?
That does not surprise me.
Can I ask why? I hope I'm not boring anybody. But can I ask you why?
Because you're too wrapped up in yourself. And you're like, okay, this ain't right.
You know, I just can see it with you.
That makes as much sense as anything. I'm still trying to do it though. I'm still trying
to do it. I'm not letting them discourage me. But that was the last word I got. So I
don't know if the insurance—
Here is the only advice I can give you when you go through it.
Please do. Yeah, go ahead. If I do. I don't know. The insurance might deny me because
of—
If you do, relax. When you go through it, relax.
Okay. So you're saying I worry about myself way too much.
Yeah, you just worry about things around you. And you don't like not feeling like yourself.
So I'm too much in control? Is that what you're saying?
Of yourself.
Of myself. Okay. All right.
But, you know, with Val and everybody, you're free going. You know?
No, no, no.
I just want to love about you.
There's a reason I'm asking.
You like to watch yourself. And that's a good thing. That's a good thing.
I am what I am. I mean, I'm not changing it. So, yeah.
You are what you are. But you're changing yourself. You're doing what you need to do.
Well, thank you. I'd like to get back to you though, Rob. And here's why. I'm extremely
proud of you. Extremely. You took this thing on. You took it head on. And you're fighting
it and you're fighting with your life. And I commend you.
I have a lot more work.
We all do. We all do. So…
But to be honest, I'm seeing light at the end of the tunnel.
I am too. I am too.
No, the thing that I worry about about the therapy stuff is the insurance is going to
deny me on this guy that did the interview and process his recommendations. So I don't
know if I'm even going to get to do it now because he kind of just likes it. I don't
think it's going to do the guy any good, which I strongly disagree. And anyhow, it
is what it is. If the insurance covers it, I'm doing it. If it doesn't, then we'll
see how much it costs. So anyhow.
You got anything else you want to add, Rob? Or you want to wrap the bow on this bitch
and call it good?
Yeah, we're counting on 9.30, brother.
Yep. You've got to be at work in the morning and I've got to scratch my nuts in the
morning. So anyhow.
I've got to do that too.
Okay. Well, you know, you need nut scratching time. Absolutely.
That's kind of how it is.
Thank you, Rob. Thanks for joining me once again.
As always.
Yep. We're still all doing this once a week, right?
For now.
For now. Okay.
Let me, like I said, I just got two golden laps out of the support. There's a lot of
cleaning.
Yeah. With the other two shows going on, I don't feel the need that we have to press
ourselves and do four a week anymore. I think two a week is plenty when we get to it.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Give me a week or two and we'll see where we're at.
All right.
Bump it up to two.
So speaking of that, the nineties, top 10, 12, 13, whatever, top 10.
Top 10. Okay. Top 10.
You're right. You're right.
The number is what we stick with.
Ronnie said 10.
No more ties. No more ties.
Ronnie said 10, we're going to stick to 10. That's next week, right?
Actually, Ronnie, actually Ronnie dropped us back to seven.
Oh, did he?
This was my idea. So I bumped this up to 10.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah. It's a lot less than seven, thanks to Ronnie.
Okay. All right. The top seven. Top seven next week, right?
No, no. Top 10.
Top 10? Okay.
Finalist. Nineties.
Okay. Top 10. Oh, that's right. Ronnie had us to seven. You have us at 10. Okay?
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Okay.
And we're waiting to hear his next one.
He will get to that. He will get to that.
Yeah, I know he will. I know he will.
Yeah. He's got a little going on right now, but he'll get to that. Okay. All right, everybody,
thank you for listening. Love you guys. Have a good night, assholes.
Good night, assholes.
Oh no. Looks like the show's over, kids. Mark has explosive diarrhea and can't afford a
wireless mic. Fear not, assholes. They'll be back invading your ear holes soon.