From the deep inside the bowels of the city market in Kansas City, Missouri downtown property
to the banks of the beautiful crystal blue waters of the Missouri River
it is the original two, Topher and Mark, given the 2024 football predictions for the season.
You thought they were done, didn't you?
Hehehehehehe
Kicking your ass with your size 15 clown boots and a deep Tracy hat.
Tomorrow morning while grinding your coffee beans for your double mocha latte
remember to not get your genitals caught in the grinder.
It really hurts and who can afford plastic surgery?
Take safe everyone!
And now we have a new track.
Just let me know when.
It is time to run.
Alright, Sports Bastards, this is a week 9 predictions podcast.
We're doing bastardy things.
Yes we are.
Oh, nice engine.
Well, suddenly a thunderstorm broke out.
Yeah, which, oh well, it was windy before and now we have a thunderstorm.
It blew in a thunderstorm, didn't it?
It's even more windy now.
You get what you get.
Yeah, the only thing is I got a drop coming right down here.
Oh yeah.
It's not that big a deal but every now and then a little splash gets me right in the face.
Well, don't let it hit your phone.
Oh yeah, I got my phone over here but you know what I mean?
It's kind of like the water torch or something.
Yeah.
It's like, bink.
You never know exactly when it's going to drop.
Yeah, yeah, I'm over here cowering now.
Alright.
Whoa, that was a good one.
That was close.
Yeah.
I think we're going to have a few more of those.
Oh, there's another flash.
Alright, well then I'll be popping up here soon.
Yep.
Oh well, here we are risking our lives.
Yes.
For you dear listeners.
That's right.
We should be commended but we won't.
No, we should be committed actually.
That flash was nothing.
Yeah.
Okay, anyhow.
Like two hours later.
Yeah, yeah, grumble, grumble, grumble.
Apathetic.
Big deal.
Apathetic thunder.
Yeah, it's like, you're not going to try man, don't show up.
Just don't even show up to the game.
Oh, it answered.
Yes, I think we pissed somebody off.
That was a cloud giving us the middle finger.
Well, everybody else does.
Just fit right in.
We just shake it off like everything else.
Hey, thanks, we know we're number one.
We've been flipped off by the best man.
Yeah, yours doesn't matter.
I like theirs better anyhow.
Yeah.
Alright, we're going to start off with a Thursday night.
Yeah.
Okay.
So when we get to the bullet points, the last show you were talking about extra overtime,
I mean the extra timeout, I had an idea for spiking the football that might work out.
Okay.
Anyway, we'll get to that one with bullet points.
Oh, yeah, was that what you went into in the car?
Yeah.
I love it, yeah, we'll have to say that.
Alrighty.
So something to look forward to, we'll tease him with that one, make him stay until the
end of the show.
That sounds good.
Alright, our first Thursday night, listen to me, our Thursday night game is the 6 and
2 Houston Texans at the 2 and 6 New York Jets.
Well, no surprises.
I'm not going to pick any upset.
The Jets' empire is crumbling.
It is.
Yeah, and coincidentally New York had a horrible night last night.
Not only did the Yankees go down in flames, but also the Giants went down in flames.
They did, it was a bad weekend for New York.
They were down 3 and 0, the Yankees, the big bad Yankees, anyhow, the Yankees.
Wow, somebody didn't like us.
I'm going to go 27-13 Houston.
I think CJ Stroud will have a decent game, and the Jets will fumble, and I mean not literally
fumble necessarily, but they'll just have another bumbling performance.
I remember saying before the season began, Aaron Rodgers just won't be enough, and I
think that's going to continue to pan out.
32-13.
I like that.
Jets, or not Jets.
Houston.
You're not a psycho.
No, no.
Okay.
Or at least not that much.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Well, let me mention while we're here, Pittsburgh and San Francisco are on the bye week.
Oh, okay.
And there's no London game.
Okay.
So, the first noon game on Sunday will be the 2-6 New Orleans at 1-7 Carolina.
Ooh.
Something's got to give here.
I can't pick a clear winner just like right off the bat.
Is it in Carolina?
It's in Carolina.
I'm going to go with Carolina just because they both suck.
They do.
And I'm just going to give, I'm probably going to regret this, but Carolina, I'm going to
say 22-13.
Yeah, that looks pretty reasonable.
I'll go 21-17, but I'm also picking Carolina.
Okay.
I don't know why I'm giving New Orleans 17 points because they...
I don't either.
Well, Carolina's not that good defensively, so.
True, true.
Okay.
I'm going to go with a four point game.
Okay.
That sounds reasonable.
All right.
Next up, 6-2 Washington at 2-6 New York Giants.
There are some shitty matchups this week.
I know.
Some of these seem real easy to pick, but those generally turn into a trap.
Those are the ones that are tricky.
Yeah.
Exactly.
Okay.
Now, who was it again?
Washington at Giants.
At the Giants.
That's right.
I'm going to go with the commanders.
Yeah.
They're going to be high off their, what the hell we won.
Did we really win?
Yes, we really won.
Yeah.
I'm going to go 24-20.
It's going to be a close game.
Closer.
Wow.
Oops.
I hit him a little backwards.
There you go.
So I ride him in the order of the teams.
Okay.
24-20.
I'm going to go 23-10.
That's probably more like it, but oh well.
I'm sticking to it.
Yeah.
I don't know how I come up with 23.
That's got to be some field work.
I don't know.
I'm going to go with 23-10.
That's probably more like it, but oh well.
I'm sticking to it.
I don't know how I come up with 23.
That's got to be some field work.
I always do that too.
I always count in like maybe a safety and a field goal.
Yeah.
I mean pretty much any score is possible other than one.
Well, no, no, no.
I was going to do a game coming up.
I'm going to do a game one to nothing because it sucks so bad.
The reason is this right here.
There is a one-point safety.
Oh wow.
Yeah.
Look it up.
Everything has to fall in line.
It's only been done once and it wasn't the NFL yet.
Oh, I can't wait to see what a game that is.
Yeah.
It will happen one day.
Who knows when.
Let's hope.
Yeah.
That'll be fun.
Oh gosh.
You have to make all the highlight reels.
Oh yeah.
Okay.
Next game, two and five Miami at six and two Buffalo.
Vision rivals.
They know each other well.
Yeah.
Buffalo is going to win, but it's going to be really, really close and not Tucker.
I can see this definitely being close.
Yeah.
Thirty-two, thirty-one.
Oh.
Buffalo inches it out.
Oh, that one was pretty.
I'm glad we're under a little bit of an overhang here.
I am too, but now all of a sudden the spray is coming in really bad.
Oh well.
You know what?
We have electronics here.
We're safe.
We're ungrounded and ready to be electrocuted.
Yeah, and electronics are wet.
Yeah.
We're fine.
Yeah.
Let me find something metal to put my lips on or something.
Oh, that's what I was thinking.
There's a metal pole behind me.
I think I'm going to lean on it.
Oh yeah.
That would be a great idea.
That will conduct all the electricity and leave me alone.
Okay.
I guess I've got to make a prediction here.
28 to 14 Buffalo.
Okay.
Now it looks good.
Okay.
All right.
Next up, four and three Los Angeles Chargers at the two and six Cleveland Browns who are
suddenly a little more to be taken seriously.
Wow.
Okay.
The Rams still have a pretty good pass rush.
Yeah.
James, James Winston.
No, this is the Chargers at Cleveland.
Oh, it's the Chargers.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
I might have said Rams, but LA Chargers.
I'm going to go with the Rams.
Yeah.
They're going to stop by and win.
Yeah.
They're going to swing down from Seattle.
Yeah.
They're like, okay.
Whoa.
Okay.
That one was scary.
Yeah, it was.
Chargers.
Yeah, Chargers.
Okay.
No, 23 to 17.
Yeah.
I'm going to go with the other way.
I'm going to go Cleveland 17-10.
I'm not really sure.
I really entertain taking Cleveland.
I'm giving Cleveland's defense quite the challenge there to hold the Chargers to 10 points.
I still think the Rams are going to win.
They're playing Seattle, aren't they?
Yes.
Okay.
Anyhow, go ahead.
So 17-10 Cleveland.
You're picking the Chargers 23-17.
Okay.
That's going to be one of the games.
I like it.
Oh, hey.
What were our scores last week?
Oh, yeah.
Last week, you missed six and I missed five.
So pretty close.
Pretty close.
We're both suck.
Yeah.
We missed, each missed five the week before, so we're doing about how much we need.
We're staying on par.
We're pretty consistently bad.
Hey, you know, you're hitting two out of three in baseball.
You're pretty awesome.
Dang it, those guys turn around three times.
I kept trying to get their attention to come over here and talk.
Oh well.
Yeah.
Well, we are kind of sketchy looking, so.
I think they're undercover.
Oh, that could be.
Anyhow, go ahead.
Next up, two and six New England at one and six Tennessee.
Okay.
Is this the one to nothing game?
Yes.
Oh no, it's going to be a tie, one-one.
That's even better.
Yeah.
Okay, I'm going to say 23-2-10, the paint-free Rocks, or we're going to get one.
Yeah.
Hey, they won two now.
Might as well go for three.
Might as well.
Even at home, I don't think Tennessee's got a chance.
Yeah, I'm going to go 23-7.
Yeah, is May Drake still playing or do you know?
No, I think May is out with an injury.
Oh, that's right.
It's Bursett again?
Yeah.
Okay, yeah, Bursett's good enough to beat those guys.
Yeah.
All right.
Next up is three and four Dallas at three and five and three Atlanta.
I'm going to put my glasses on for this.
I'm reading my own handwriting.
Okay, three and four Dallas at five and three Atlanta.
Kirk Cousins is Kirk Cousins.
Is he going to have that immaculate game or is he going to suck?
I mean, you're going to get one or the other.
I kind of think that Cousins is going to do okay at home against Dallas, who is clearly
reeling.
Yeah, I'm going to say 32-22 and I'm going to put Atlanta on top.
All right.
Yeah, Atlanta can score some points.
Yeah.
That's for sure.
I'll go Atlanta 27-17 Dallas.
Sounds reasonable.
Yeah.
I kind of see Dallas having a lot of games where they come back late to put it within
a score, but that's as far as they get.
I see that.
I kind of see that happening.
Yeah.
All right.
Next up, Las Vegas two and six at Cincinnati three and five.
A couple of teams whose seasons are basically over.
It's at Cincy?
At Cincy.
Okay, that's easy.
Cincy 24-17.
Yeah, I think I have to go to Cincy at home as well.
Even though they're not that great a team, they're not the Raiders.
Yeah, Vegas will find a way to shoot themselves in the foot.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Some penalties.
Yeah.
He has a recipe to defeat Joe Burrow now.
Yeah.
He gave everybody that because he's a good guy.
What a tool bag, huh?
A little overconfidence there.
Hey, you want to say anything?
No one's entitled to my opinion.
I like that.
That's a great one.
Nobody's entitled to his opinion.
That's fine.
Yeah.
I get it.
That's a nice way to say mind your business.
I'm going to go Cincinnati 27-12.
Okay.
It could either be four field goals or a touchdown and a missed two point conversion.
I like that.
That's a good one for Las Vegas because 12 is kind of a ridiculous score to get.
That sounds about right for Vegas.
Yeah.
I'm looking to Vegas to be kind of the punching bag the rest of the season.
Oh, I can't wait to watch.
Yeah.
Cleveland no longer is such a punching bag.
Yeah.
Now you've got Carolina, maybe Jacksonville, and Las Vegas.
Yeah.
You know what I think would be funny if someone hired a dwarf to punch Antonio Pierce in the
nuts?
He's on the sideline all of a sudden this dwarf runs out and like, I don't know, what
kind of costume?
Darth Vader.
Because that's a Raider thing.
Yeah.
He runs up there, does the boxing.
Oh yeah, the rope and dope.
Yeah, the rope and dope.
And then takes off.
Or he could, oh, like the speed bag.
The speed bag, yeah.
That's what I'm talking about, the speed bag.
Or you can be like Steven Seagal and have one of your flippy flappy flights where you
just like basically slapping like a kitten.
Yeah.
And that was Van Damme did the Underworld split.
Yes.
Yeah.
I still cannot unsee that.
And I've been watching some videos by this guy called Space Ice and he does movie reviews
of bad movies.
Every Seagal movie, every Uwe Boll movie.
They deserved it everywhere.
Oh my, and it's hilarious as hell.
You look up Space Ice.
He's cussing really good movie reviews.
I will definitely do that.
And it's so funny, he cusses like crazy, but he always bleeps himself.
That's even better.
It makes it funnier.
That's even better.
I always love it when they used to do the uncensored when they didn't need it.
Yeah.
They say just like house and they bleep and it sounds like they're cussing.
Yeah.
I've seen other ones where they'll say like fucking shit and then bleep it out when they
say crap.
So creative.
Yes.
Alright, well we got that one squared away.
The last of the noon games, 5 and 3 Denver at 5 and 3 Baltimore.
I think Denver's going to ride them hard.
And Baltimore's going to be extremely irritated though.
Yes.
So, I'm almost tempted to go with Denver, but I don't think they're quite there yet.
I don't think they're quite there yet.
They're improving but not quickly.
There's a steady improvement.
Yeah, so I'm going to go with the Ravens.
27 to 24.
That should be a fun game.
Yeah, that's going to be a good game to watch.
I'm going to go with Denver in an upset.
I almost did.
Even though Baltimore's at home and they've got every reason to play angry this week, I
think Denver's going to come in.
And trip them up?
Yeah.
And I think it's going to be pretty decisive.
I'm going to go Denver 27, Baltimore 13.
I think I just got this feeling Denver's going to go in there and, pardon the expression,
manhandle them.
I'm not exactly sure of the origin of that expression, so if it's something disgusting
and crude, I apologize.
It's just like piss elm and piss ants came from something.
Piss ants is actually a breed of ants, a very small one, called the piss ant.
It's one word instead of piss ant.
It's piss ant.
And then piss elm is the name of an elm tree that did not get Dutch elm disease.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, and that's why they go, oh, just a bunch of piss elms.
They're the elms that don't die when they get the disease.
Cool.
Yeah.
There's also a French word that is just like piss ant, except you stick a U in there after
the P. Yeah, that's right.
And it means having a quick mind, quick on the uptake, learning quickly.
Yeah.
Is it poisson?
Poisson.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, it was never used on me, so I don't know.
And we all know the origin expression of not having a pot to piss in.
Yeah.
Go ahead.
What is it?
No.
It used to be that if nothing else, you could sell your urine because there were chemicals
in it that could be used for other things.
You know, there's ammonia and there's some various things.
And that means that you're so broke that you don't even have a pot to piss in to get money
for your urine.
Yep.
Oh, I like that.
So as people used to sell their urine if they had nothing else to sell, that's what the
meaning of piss poor.
Oh, wow.
You're so poor you have to sell your piss.
And then if you're even poorer than that, you don't have a pot to piss in.
So you can't sell your piss.
Wow.
Yeah.
Different degrees.
Yeah.
It's one of those expressions where it really means exactly what it says.
This also gets me too.
In Europe, there's a big fad.
I don't know if it still goes on, but if they used to love a band, they'd throw jugs of
piss at them.
Yes.
And that meant that we couldn't go use the bathroom.
They're too good.
Yeah.
And imagine that.
If they love us, I'm drenched in piss.
I'd be okay if they loved us from way over there.
It's like, look, how about you love us by a t-shirt?
Yeah.
Don't piss at me.
Yeah.
Human urine is not something I want to be drenched in.
No.
Although I did go to high school with a guy who did enjoy that, oddly enough.
We used to piss on each other, oddly enough.
That's a me and Davey thing.
The only people who peed on me were my own kids when I was changing their diapers.
That's different.
Yeah.
Anybody who's changed a little boy's diaper has gotten peed on.
Oh, no.
We'd be like, hey, man, I got to take a piss.
They can start pissing on their leg.
Yeah.
You learn as a parent when you take that dirty diaper off, you put something right over the
danger zone in case a kid decides to pee.
News remind me of something really funny.
A long time ago, I was trashed.
Imagine that.
Okay?
Anyhow, I got to go to the urinal.
I'm stumbling over there.
Everybody at the table is probably shaking their head.
No, no.
Not again.
I can barely walk.
I'm wobbling.
I get into the stall.
You ever have your aim completely off?
Oh, God, yes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I couldn't tell.
I was so drunk.
Well, someone on the other side was taking a dump.
My aim was just right straight at the corner crack of the two urinals.
I was sitting there.
It all of a sudden I hear, hey, you're pissing on me.
Oh, my God.
So I straighten up for a minute and I piss as hard as I can.
Just, it's hurting.
Just to get the hell out of there.
You want to be out poor.
He did.
Yeah, yes.
Because I was afraid he was going to be like, motherfucker.
I was trashed.
I could not have defended myself.
I'd just been like, all right, what my ass going at?
Remember the old Bijou Theater in Westport?
Yeah.
Back in the 70s, early 80s, they were playing the Rocky Horror Picture Show there on the
weekends at midnight.
I remember that.
I used to go down there a lot for that.
They used to have all the stuff that they threw out.
Yeah, yeah.
I remember getting there once and I was so trashed that I passed out in the bathroom.
And the guy came in and woke me up and said, hey, man, you really don't want to fall asleep
in the men's room around here.
That reminds me of the old Lone Star in Westport right next to Buzzer Beach.
Yeah.
I was there watching a metal show, something like that.
And it was probably late 80s.
Guy walks in right behind me, really tall guy.
Yeah.
He just falls down.
They had the trough urinals, the ones that go all the way to the ground.
Yeah.
They had the really tall trough ones.
OK.
He fell down with his nose right next to the urinal.
And I kept trying to wake him up.
He wouldn't wake up.
So I just went out there after I got done pissing and splashing all over him.
I'm like, nothing I can do, buddy.
Yeah, no kidding.
Because you never went to the stall there because there's like piles.
Yes.
Piles in there on top of piles.
Yes.
And toilet paper everywhere.
So I'm like, well, he's just going to get some splash back.
Yeah.
I went out there and went to Gilligan, the guy we call Gilligan.
And then we found out his name really was Gilligan.
We called him Gilligan because he looked like Gilligan.
Wow.
He'll always be running around there doing something.
He's kind of like a handyman kind of guy.
Yeah.
Hey, go back here.
Take this to Sowing Sower.
Production assistant.
Yes, production assistant.
And I went to Gilligan, who actually was Gilligan.
We found out years later and told him, hey, there's a guy in there passed out right next
to the urinal.
You might want to go check on him.
And he was like, rolled his eyes.
Fuck.
Yeah.
Anyhow, yeah.
It probably happened a few times, sounds like.
Anyhow.
Yeah.
I'm not going to start.
There's a lot of shit that happened there.
I'm not going to talk about it.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
A lot of stuff that they could got closed down on too.
Oh yeah.
Oh, they had an after party one night after three.
I can say this now.
Yeah.
Because they're closed down.
They locked all the doors and all of us that knew each other was in there.
And a lot of other things happened.
I'm not going to go into, but it was nuts.
It's like, wait, wait a minute.
Three o'clock and they locked the doors on us.
They're like, party!
Anyhow.
I.
Allegedly.
Once a band I was in played a club in Iola, Kansas.
Oh, I remember.
Yeah, I know what that is.
Yeah.
Well, the wife of the bass player was from Iola.
Oh, that's why.
So we went there.
And then after we finished, tore down, loaded out, we went back in to get paid and we just
kind of had our own after party there.
And we stuck around for about an hour and a half with everyone drinking.
And the cops were outside because they saw our vehicles out there and they knew there
were people still inside.
And our singer had parked on the wrong side of the street.
So the cop waited until he came out, got in the car, started it up and started to pull
away and stopped him right then.
Said, you're driving on the wrong side of the road.
Get out.
We're doing a blood alcohol check.
And he was he was over the limit.
So the cops sat there and waited until he got in the car and started it and started
to drive.
Oh, man.
So that shows he was looking to bust him, not looking to prevent a drunk driver.
He was willing to let the guy get in the car and drive drunk as long as he could then bust
him.
What does Dickhead do?
Isn't their job to prevent crimes when possible?
I think if the guy if the if your bandmate had enough money, he could have fought that
in court as entrapment.
He did get a lawyer because, you know, he came back home to, you know, Overland Park
or wherever he lived.
His lawyer just said, you know, pay it, pay it.
Just pay, pay, pay, pay, get out of it.
Get out of it.
Yeah.
So it screwed up his license for about six months.
You know, we had to go pick him up all the time.
But then after like a year or so, it dropped off his insurance and dropped off his license.
So he yeah, that's a good one.
So he kind of got out OK on that.
But yeah.
Yeah.
Anyways, after a lot of money.
Oh, there was a well known some people will probably know this because we have a lot of
listeners in Kansas City.
Yep.
There used to be this bar down there.
Well, is it still there?
I think it might still be there.
I'm not for sure.
I'm not going to say yeah or no.
It might still be there.
They used to have the cocaine hatch.
It was in the bathroom.
Oh, yeah.
And you would go over to the corner and you know where you can hit the wall and it would
loosen up just a little bit.
You get that latch, open it up and then they have all the accessories for doing a bump.
I believe you're lucky enough, the guy before you left some accidentally.
Go ahead.
There was a bar like that in KCK.
We played once.
It was run by a couple of brothers who are also in a band called Family Jewels.
I don't know if you ever heard of them.
Yeah.
They bought this club and they occasionally played there, but mostly had other bands play.
Actually, I think this club was run by brothers also.
Yeah.
They sold cocaine out of the bathroom there pretty much all the time.
I think you could buy it there too from some of the staff, but I wasn't really into that
scene too much so I didn't really worry about it.
I just remember all night long there were people skinning along between the stage and
the wall, slide along the side just to get to the bathroom and then coming out rubbing
their noses.
Oh.
All night long.
Yeah.
I saw plenty of that.
Yeah.
Then another time I was at another bar downtown and I was trying to get in the bathroom, but
someone was holding it shut and I was drunker than hell.
I kicked the door.
I kicked it so hard, the guy with glasses holding it hit him and it like scuffed him
up and he started bleeding.
Oh, God.
There was five people in there doing coke.
I ordered all of them out of there and they left.
I said, everyone you motherfuckers, get out of here.
They fucking left.
About that time the bouncer comes up and I'm in their piss and he goes, what happened?
I said, the motherfuckers are doing coke and I told them all to leave.
He said, you told all five of those to leave and they left?
Yeah.
He goes, fuck them.
I'm going to throw them out.
That's awesome.
See, it was funny.
He threw them out.
Me?
If these guys had any integrity at all, they would have beat my ass and left me there.
There's five of them.
I don't care how big of pussies you are.
There's five of them.
There's one bar I played, the last story, I promise.
One bar I played where during one of the breaks.
Oh, we could do this all night.
Go ahead.
I know.
The singer tried to go to use the bathroom and he said, man, the door is locked.
I waited and waited, but man, it's just locked.
It's just staying locked.
Whoever's in there is taking a long time.
Our lead guitarist was in there banging his girlfriend.
He locked the door so they could finish.
I remember when I used to have to like piss and try to look forward just for privacy.
I've seen that a few times.
I don't think I could ever get desperate enough sex that I do it in a public bathroom.
No, I would find some other, I don't care if it's out in the bushes, some other place
besides there.
Like concerts, you see that all the time.
I know.
There's a lot of drugs and alcohol involved.
No one cared.
Or then chicks would just go in and start pissing in the men's bathroom.
They'd jump up on the sink and start pissing.
The guys didn't care.
They're not washing their hands.
Oh, chicks.
Oh, okay, cool.
They're going to watch.
Then you've got the pervs that stand around there.
So anyhow, weren't we doing a sports show?
I think so.
I think we're up to the first of the three o'clock games.
Oh man, anytime a squirrel runs by, we're like, whoa.
We are the squirrels.
Yeah, go ahead.
All right.
Four and three Chicago at four and four Arizona.
Wow, this is an intriguing one.
Does it matter that the Arizona Cardinals a long time ago used to be the Chicago Cardinals?
No, I don't think it matters.
Most people don't know that.
Rain stopped.
Wow.
Just all of a sudden.
It's still dark.
Yeah.
Still looks like it's going to rain.
Probably more coming.
Probably.
Okay.
I'm going to go with the Cardinals.
It's a home game for them.
Yeah.
From four to 18.
I like that score.
I like that.
Somebody scored 18 last week.
Who scored 18 last week?
Yeah, that's what I'm going by.
Washington scored 18 last week.
Yeah, that's because they didn't have to kick the point after.
True.
All right.
I'm going to go Chicago.
23-20.
Okay.
I think right now the quarterbacks of the two teams really don't play like each other,
but they're kind of in the same position.
They're young and they're being asked to step it up and fulfill their potential.
Caleb Williams has way more room and opportunity, so much more of his career ahead of him.
I agree.
But Kyler Murray's like, I think he really has to perform this year.
Yeah, to stay on track and get the contract.
If he has a good year this year, he can have a mediocre year next year and still get another
contract.
If he has a bad year this year, next year he's got to shine.
Yeah, he's got to really do it.
You see that guy's umbrella?
It has a middle finger on it.
Look, look at the back.
I know you can't see it from the front, but look.
Pretty awesome.
I didn't notice what it was.
I just thought it was some picture.
For everybody up in the buildings looking out the windows and people walking by.
It's like the really hardened people that have the middle finger for the cops up in
there.
Yeah, back in the 70s they used to be able to paint that on the top of your van.
So the police helicopter would flip off.
You would see the middle finger.
I don't understand why it keeps getting stopped.
There's a public tram.
It's like a giant ski lift.
It goes from way down low by the river in Portland all the way up to the top of the
hill, which is called Hospital Hill.
It really saves a ton on traffic because you have to drive all around the mountain to get
to where it is.
A lot of people didn't like the tram going over their houses to go up to the top.
This one guy painted a great big middle finger on his roof.
So everybody, men, women, children, everybody gets to see that and there's not a thing they
can do about it.
Not one thing.
That's funny.
Oh, oh, oh, football.
Oh yeah.
All right, so Jacksonville, two and six at Philadelphia, five and two.
At Philly.
Jacksonville is playing very well, but I still got to go with Philly.
I think they can handle them.
34, 24.
All righty.
I'm also going to go with Philly.
I'm going to go with 31 to 17.
Sounds good.
We're both pretty much on the same thought.
Yeah.
All right.
Next up, Los Angeles Rams at three and four at Seattle four and four.
Division rivals.
Nobody really wants this division.
No, each one of them is trying to give it away.
Yes.
I think the yin and yang Seattle is going to get this one.
Would be surprised.
17, 14.
Nice.
I'm going to go Rams this time.
21, 17.
Okay.
I could see either one going like that and I would not be a bit surprised.
Rams have got two receivers back, one the tight end Pua Naku'a and then a blanking on
the other guy, wide receiver.
I think that's going to open up their offense quite a bit.
Pua Naku'a was like, he set a record for how many receptions as a rookie, didn't he?
Yeah, he did.
As a rookie tight end.
He was something else.
I think his stat came up the other day when it was the Bowers for the Raiders.
That guy's on fire.
Yeah, he is.
He's going to be there.
Yeah, he is.
Yeah.
Lovely.
We got that to look forward to.
Yeah.
All right.
A little split there.
6-1 Detroit at 6-2 Green Bay.
Fight for the division.
In Green Bay, but the weather's not going to be a deal.
Has the Lambo Mystique kind of wore off?
I think it has.
I'm still going to go with Green Bay.
24-21.
That seems like a pretty reasonable score.
But you're probably going to pick Detroit.
Yeah, I'm going to pick Detroit.
I picked them to win the NFC and go to the Super Bowl, so I kind of have to stick with
them until they show me wrong.
Well, I think they could very well do that, but you know what?
I'm trying to go for an upset here and there.
Yeah, me too.
Because we know there's going to be upsets.
I'm trying to pick that one, and I think this might be it.
Yeah.
I mean, if it is an upset, I think it would be.
It would be.
I think Detroit's got the advantage here.
Yeah.
But I'm still going to go Detroit 30-21.
All right, sounds reasonable.
All right, Sunday night, 4-4 Indy at 5-2 Minnesota.
Minnesota, they've got to get back on the winning track.
Lost two in a row.
Yeah, they were eyeballing the home field advantage, and now they're looking up.
Yeah.
Sam Darnold's got to bounce back too.
I mean, he's had good games, but just not good enough to win.
I'm going to go ahead and go Minnesota, and I'm going to give it probably 20-14.
All righty.
Yeah, it's an interesting division.
You got Detroit at 6-1, Green Bay at 6-2, Minnesota at 5-2, and then Chicago at 4-3.
Every team has a winning record.
Yeah, yeah.
Isn't that something?
It is.
And then you have the West.
They're just like, everyone's trying to give it to the other person.
Yeah, AFC South.
Oh, yeah, that's horrible.
Whoever comes out of that's a one and done.
Well, Houston is the class there.
Well, Houston, that's right.
Yeah.
Yeah, well, Houston's out of there, and they're probably not going to be a one and done.
Yeah, but with Jacksonville and Tennessee in your division, hey.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
They're only saving graces.
Both of them traditionally play them very rough.
True, true.
But anyhow, it doesn't mean they will.
I'm going to pick Indian and upset.
Wow, okay.
I think, I've just got a feeling Minnesota's offense is going to struggle.
They've started to show some-
They're saying they're coming back to earth.
They're starting to, yeah, they're showing some cracks, I think.
They are showing cracks, and you're probably right about that, but anyhow.
I'm going to go 20 to 13, Indy.
Low scoring game.
If that happens, that's the way it's going to happen.
And then the last game, the Monday night football, which, you know, since all the games are fixed,
we should all bet on the cheese on this one, right?
Yes, yes.
And that's why you don't.
Yes.
If all the money's going one way, be aware.
Yep.
All right, four and four Tampa Bay at seven and oh Kansas City.
KC's going eight and oh.
I think so.
But it's not going to be as easy as people think.
Mayfield always, always plays my home's tough.
Ever since the fable game, that 65 to 62 game, what is it, OU and-
Texas Tech.
Texas Tech, yeah.
Yeah.
Ever since that fable game, I mean, Mayfield has always played his tough.
Even when he's in Cleveland, he played his tough.
That is pretty awesome when you've got a rivalry going back to college.
Yeah, this is-
That's awesome.
I mean, I wish he was in our division.
Wouldn't that be nice to see twice a year, those two after each other?
So who would sign it?
Raiders could use them.
Yeah, I think the Raiders would take them right now.
Tampa's not going to let them go.
They paid them a lot of money to be their quarterback for the interment.
That's going to happen.
That's going to stay.
And also, they're probably eyeballing him teaching someone younger.
Yeah, he would be a good mentor.
Yeah, in a year or two.
Whenever they find that guy in the draft, they think they can get.
That's when it's going to be.
So by that time, you'll have your five years up if they sign you two and then there.
So okay, it's going to be close.
And I think that my home's, I mean, even though they have really good defense, I think my
home's going to crack out of this one a little bit.
So I'm going to go to 32 to 24.
Chief!
Yes.
It's worth mentioning that the Chiefs just signed another pass rusher from the Patriots.
Yes, they did.
Uche.
He's supposed to be really good at getting in.
He may not, I mean, like Chris Jones, he should have more sacks, but he doesn't.
And the reason is because they double and triple team him, but he's always in there.
Yep.
Other people are getting the opportunities because he's soaking up blockers.
Yeah, he has those basketball size hands that he puts up in the air.
And how a quarterback can throw when that guy's screaming or running at you, I don't
know.
I know.
Yeah, so.
I'm going to go Chiefs 33-21.
Okay.
Yeah, I think the Chiefs are going to break out a little bit this game.
Deandre Hopkins is going to get worked in a lot more to the offense.
At the very least, Tampa Bay is going to have to pay a lot of attention to him.
Yeah.
Kelsey had a good game, so they can't disregard that.
The Tampa Bay defense can't.
I can see Andy Reid, Steve Spagnolo mind game.
Yes.
For real, really confusing the Buccaneers, and it takes them until halftime to figure
out what we're really doing.
Yes.
So I see the Chiefs getting up big in the first half and then coasting.
And let's not leave out Spagnolo and his blitzes and disguised blitzes and his different coverage.
Yeah.
So.
All right.
I can see all those happening above.
That's our schedule.
Okay.
So we go into some bullet points.
The first one we already did, Deandre Hopkins posted a tweet at the conclusion of last season's
Super Bowl.
He was compilary towards Mahomes, and we said, yeah, that makes a difference.
That's why Tyreek isn't on our team, and he is.
Probably, well, one of the reasons.
One of the reasons, yeah.
Okay.
Going along that line, the offensive system, how important is it that the player traded
for is familiar with the system, or does overall talent win out with the thought that talent
will catch on quickly?
Wow.
Generally speaking, I think if you're familiar with the offense and team, that helps quite
a bit.
Yes.
I think the exceptions would be certain positions you can just do, like pass rusher.
Yeah.
I think there's a limited learning curve there before you can be effective on the field.
Yeah.
There's still more to learn, but I think with a little bit of the defense in mind, Uche
can go out there and contribute this game.
Well, Spagnolo already looked this guy up.
Come on.
Yeah.
He's going to go out there and contribute this guy right here.
Yeah.
So go get him.
Ooh, look.
Starting again.
Oh, boy.
Yep.
Another one blows in.
Yep.
All right.
We need the ring.
Yeah.
We have a run for the car when we're done.
Yeah.
Me, on this particular question, I'm going half and half.
We did see Hopkins come open a few times.
That's true.
He didn't have a spectacular game, but by all means, it was not a failure.
No.
I think that, yes, you have to know the offensive system, but I think the guy is very capable
of getting open on his own.
Yeah.
Just even game two with the Chiefs.
I think Hopkins is very easily could be the leading receiver.
Yeah.
And I also, yeah, I could see that.
And also his hands.
His hands are so good and he's so tall that he can naturally get the ball when other people
cannot.
Let's hope he teaches some of his catching.
Yeah.
This one looks a little mean.
He's going to set off some car alarms.
Yeah.
And maybe he could teach his catching skills to some of the other receivers, like Worthy.
I think that that's part of the idea of this guy too.
Yeah.
So, yeah.
He seems like he's a worthy kind of receiver.
Yeah.
So he can say, look, you know, I did it.
Here's how I did it.
Yeah.
And I think that's also another, who you want on your team.
Yeah.
So, all right.
Right now, can't see sports media.
Let's pretend the Royals are headed to the fall classic.
Would they get the top story, the reigning champion chiefs with all the trades or a huge
wins take the top slot?
I'm going to say the chiefs still get the top slot.
I think so too.
I think with the recent successes of the chiefs, more so than the Royals, I think people would
prefer to hear about the chiefs first.
I do too.
If the Royals like won the World Series, that would knock the chiefs off the page for a
day.
Yeah.
And then when the parade was, that would be the story for the day.
But yeah, we're turning into a football town, at least when football season is on, when
it's just baseball season, you know, everyone wants to hear about the Royals every day.
Yeah.
Baseball shot themselves in the foot so many times they don't have a fucking foot left.
So once again, they were my first love growing up.
Yeah, me too.
Yeah.
I used to hit home runs and catch.
I mean, it was just so fun.
Yeah.
And then it evolved into football for a couple of reasons.
Number one, you get older and you get a little bit more cynical and you want to beat people
up.
It's more exciting.
There's more action.
Yeah.
But number two, baseball has let me down.
Yeah.
So.
If baseball were to shorten the schedule, do you think they would take the games off
the front or the back?
The front.
Yeah.
They make it.
Start later in the year and still run into the football season.
I think that would work out very well because it started in March.
The weather's getting a little bit better.
It would be a little bit more.
But then again, that's why people go to Arizona too.
True.
Yeah.
The warm weather states would certainly object to that.
Yeah.
Although most of the people are watching.
Oh, that's a good one.
That was fun.
I think I pooed a little bit.
I'm surprised there's not a car alarm.
Not one car alarm was set off.
That's weird.
Oh well.
OK.
This goes into this next question.
What jersey is more popular, Bobby Witt Jr. or Chris Jones?
I'm going to say Bobby Witt right now.
I'm going to say Bobby Witt too.
The guy is a hell of a man.
He is a future superstar.
Let's hope the Royals can hang on to him.
Well they signed him to a huge contract.
They've done for like 10, 11 years.
They could still trade him if things go bad.
Oh yeah.
That's true.
Yeah.
I think he's going to tip Salvi.
Yeah.
Everybody loves him.
You've got to keep him.
Yeah, you have to.
He should retire as a Royale.
He really should.
I think he's going to.
I hope so.
I mean he's still there, still doing a great job.
Why not?
Maybe even make his home here after he finishes playing.
I can see that.
He really does.
He's in Brasile City.
I mean he's from somewhere.
Brazil maybe?
Yeah.
Definitely not a Kansas City native.
No.
I think he came from Brazil.
He could go home and do his regular home or maybe a little bit of a tour.
Yeah.
I think he's going to be a great player.
Yeah.
I love that.
Yeah.
So first thing, he didn't go out and buy a Rolls and a bunch of bling.
He went and got his mom and brought his mom back.
Yeah.
Good man.
Smart man.
All right.
The Cleveland Browns have filed a lawsuit to invoke the Art Modell law to stop the city
from building a dome stadium in Oak Brook, a suburb of Cleveland and trying to keep the
stadium downtown.
Missouri does not have this law.
Do you think KC would maybe pull legal red tape if it came to push and shut or do you
think if they go maybe the best thing for all of us is for them to go to Kansas?
Wow.
Read up on the Art Modell law.
Yeah.
I'm going to have to.
Yeah.
They're trying to take it to Oak Brook and the dome stadium almost like here trying
to take it to Johnson County with a dome stadium for a retractable roof.
So oh man.
You know, I think as long as we still have this car culture where everyone gets to drive
their own car and tailgate out of their own car, you've just got to have tons of parking.
Yes.
Unless you're going to make the fan base switch over to tailgating in the stadium instead
of outside.
That's the only way you're going to get a stadium in limited parking area and get people
to use mass transit.
Yeah.
Is if you make the tailgating happen inside the stadium instead of the parking lot.
I don't think that's going to work though.
It's not going to work.
In the parking lot, you buy your own stuff, bring it there and eat it.
They don't want to be responsible.
If you're in the stadium, you have to buy everything.
Yeah.
Number one, it takes the fun out of it.
Yeah.
It's going to take some serious bribes to get the state chief stadium downtown.
The high temperature is going to be 13 degrees and you're out there in the morning when it's
three below, you're starting off with the pork butt.
Yeah.
Then you're going to go to wings.
The guy doesn't care.
No.
He's all bundled up and that's what he loves to do.
There'll be no more of that.
No.
No, I don't see that happening either.
I don't either.
It's going to take serious bribery to get the... Now, the Royals downtown, yeah, because
you can have games where only 10 to 20,000 show up.
It's no big deal.
Where they want to put it over there in Washington Square Park.
Yeah.
That would make ideal sense.
Then it would also... There'll be an influx of businesses instead of taking out from the
crossroads.
Yeah.
They would enhance it.
Yeah.
I'm saying yes.
Also, they could build parking around it.
They could build structures up.
Oh, that's a good one.
Yeah.
They'll build structures up.
Yeah.
I think that it'd be a great thing there.
And Arrowhead, if it's not out there where it's at now, then southern Johnson County,
where they have the room.
Yeah.
Room for parking, room for businesses to spring up around it.
Yeah.
Well, there's nothing around there.
No.
There's really not room or attractive places.
Plus, where the stadiums are now, people want to go away from there when the game's over.
They don't want to hang out in that area.
Everyone jumps in their rides and goes straight to downtown.
They don't stay there.
No.
I mean, Joe Buck and Troy Aikman, they eat at Q39.
They've been there at least a couple of times.
That's nowhere near the stadium.
That's about as far away from the stadium as you can get.
And that's really the trend is to make your stadium the destination spot where you stay
until you're done spending money.
Yeah.
That's just the smart way to do it.
Yeah.
I think we're in agreement.
Should the Browns be banned from picking a number one quarterback ever again?
Protect them from themselves?
I think so.
I think so too.
Remember the Chiefs imposed a ban on themselves after they drafted Todd Blackledge in 83?
Yeah.
First it was Fuller.
Yeah.
Steve Fuller flopped.
Then Todd Blackledge.
And then it was like, now that one was a little close.
Yeah.
I felt the percussion, didn't you?
Yeah.
I saw that flash and thought, uh.
I didn't know.
It's going to be interesting on the playback to see if we can hear the wind.
Yeah.
Wow.
Yeah.
Okay.
That's what they call that, the haptic response when you feel it thump your chest.
Yeah.
It's like.
Yes.
Cleveland Browns should never be able to pick a number one quarterback again.
The Chiefs imposed it on themselves.
They knew.
They're like, look, we're horrible pickers.
It's just like a woman that keeps picking horrible partners, so she just quits.
You need to let somebody else pick for you.
Yeah.
I'm going to go to time out.
I can't, obviously can't do this right.
So, yeah.
I think that they go Browns, no more quarterbacks.
Listen, if it's really that bad, we'll allot you one.
Yeah.
We'll pick it for you and we'll give you one.
But other than that, forget it.
So all right, next.
Are the Vikings coming back to reality?
Is this a new normal for the team?
Good, but not a serious contender.
I think so.
Me too.
Jared Goff is Jared Goff.
Absolutely.
It's Goff, right?
No, no, no, no.
No, Darnold.
Darnold.
Sam Darnold is Sam Darnold.
I knew what you meant too.
Yeah.
It's Goff, Darnold, and Stafford.
I get mixed up.
Stafford's with the Rams.
Goff is with Detroit.
And Darnold is with the Vikings.
Darngoffold.
There we go.
Mix all three of them.
Yeah.
Minnesota's quarterback is kind of who he is.
And I think it's a classic case of they got the league hasn't figured out now.
Yeah, I agree.
They've caught up with them.
Antonio Piers must have shared his recipe with everybody.
Yeah, I guess so.
He passed around little folders at the meeting.
Yeah.
He's going to get the nickname Jabroni here in a minute.
Yeah.
He's going to get it at the Super Bowl.
Yep.
All right, next.
Will Baker Mayfield ever play in a Super Bowl?
I think he can.
I think he can take a team.
I think he can too.
Yeah.
I actually have a couple more questions.
I forgot.
Yeah.
Okay.
I think so too.
I think he's very capable of it.
And I think with the right defensive system around him, it could even be with the Buccaneers.
True.
Add some pieces.
Yeah.
I think he could too.
Oh, okay.
Next one.
Should there be an NFL owner Hall of Fame?
What about just head coaches or one for coordinators?
Now all of these said above is in the regular Hall of Fame.
Yeah.
They have owners, coaches, coordinators.
No, not coordinators.
No, I don't think they have coordinators in.
You have head coaches and you have owners in the Hall of Fame.
And groundskeepers.
And groundskeepers, yeah.
So why?
Didn't Toma?
Yep.
Yeah.
And why?
Why would George Toma is in the Hall of Fame?
Well, okay.
I think there should.
And they could also be inducted into the regular Hall of Fame if they're held that high.
Yeah.
I have a separate owner's Hall of Fame.
Yeah.
I think that's a great idea.
Give them something to aspire for.
Maybe add general managers in there too if they're not in the other one.
That's a good question.
I don't think so.
I don't ever recall a general manager making it.
Yeah.
Some of those titles are so vague, it's kind of difficult.
But if you make it a separate Hall of Fame for management and ownership, then it doesn't
matter.
Well, Andy Reid, I know we have Brett Beech, but also he does a lot of that duties because
you have to, with a coach of that caliber, in that many rings and success, you have to
give him something in the say so.
I would say a separate Hall of Fame for the head, the front office from the head coach
on up.
Uh-huh.
And just have it for those, what they consider management ownership.
I agree.
I think a separate Hall of Fame for that, you could put in whoever you want because
then the job titles really don't matter that much.
I would agree.
Yeah.
Okay, and finally, should the NFL ban a stadium allowance soccer to be played on it during
the NFL season?
I think they should ban anything that disrupts the football field.
I agree.
Too many people, top caliber people are getting hurt because of the holes left.
They could patch it up as much as they want.
Yeah.
But the whole thing is, is they're getting hurt.
Yeah, I think the NFL should insist that wherever we play our home games is NFL first and everything
else takes a back seat if we let it.
Yeah.
Because I'm sick and tired of seeing NFL teams play on baseball infields and base paths.
Me too.
That just is stupid.
I would agree.
If the, if the NFL can play on bare dirt, then the baseball players can play on grass.
I agree.
So I mean, it just reinforces the idea that baseball is so wimpy and soft that they need
all these accommodations.
Yeah.
And NFL is so tough that they can play wherever.
Hey, put us in the parking lot.
We don't care.
I agree.
But yeah, for players health and safety, yeah, quit having these multi-use stadiums unless
you can make it absolutely seamless.
I agree.
Yeah, why would you put all this money into it if they're just going to come clean it
up with soccer?
Because soccer traditionally tears up the field.
Back in the old days of the Houston Astrodome, the field there, the turf surface was so horrible
that there was a team that showed up to play in like an hour before the game.
They're like, yeah, we're not playing on this.
The surface is so awful.
Our players are going to get injured.
We refuse to play.
The league kept calling and they kept trying to work something out and they're like, uh-huh,
look at this.
It's not working.
There's like a three inch seam between this piece of carpet and that piece of carpet and
below it is dead concrete.
That's going to catch somebody's cleats and just destroy their name.
Yeah.
And the ownership of the visiting team said, we don't care if you dock us, if you make
this a forfeit.
We don't care.
We're not injuring our players on this.
It's not working.
Yeah.
And that's what had to happen to force the issue because the other NFL owners are like,
we don't care.
Have a shitty stadium as long as the money's rolling.
Oh, I know.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, look at the Oakland Coliseum.
Oh God.
Oh, that thing was a hell hole.
It was.
I mean, we have soccer fields and baseball fields.
High school ones better condition than that was.
Absolutely.
So, all right.
Should we go into the top 10 worst trades ever?
Well, let me do my bullet point of the rule change.
Yeah.
I really don't enjoy when a team is trying to save a timeout or out of timeouts where
they run down the field and try to get set up to spike the ball.
That just seems like an utter waste of time.
I would agree.
I think they should put in a provision where a team, after a play is over and the clock
is still running, have the quarterback run up to the referee, the referee himself, not
the back judge or anything, the guy in the white hat, and tell him, sacrifice.
That's all he needs to say.
And the official will stop the clock and charge the team a down.
You don't have to line up.
You don't have to wait for everyone to get set and then try to throw it at the ground
and keep the nose tackle from diving under and intercepting it, which has happened almost
twice.
Yes.
Oh, the nose tackle for the Raiders tried that recently on the last game.
And I saw a game, I think it was last season, where the guy dove under the center and tried
to catch the ball that was being spiked.
It's going to work one of these times.
Well, these days, they'll get it.
They came close.
But, you know, that saves about six to eight seconds so you can run another play, which
is what the fans want.
And just instead of this ridiculous scramble to go line up and get the ball from the official
and hand it, just say sacrifice.
I agree.
Clock stops, get charged down, off we go.
I agree.
I like it.
Yeah, that would make sense.
And it also hurried the game up a little bit, too.
I think a lot of times they run out the clock like that because they want to show the good
sportsman conduct afterwards.
Usually that's when everyone comes over there and goes, hey, man, good game.
Yeah, after they've been slaughtering each other on the field.
And I think that's where they're told, hey, you congratulate each other, right?
Even if they don't like each other, you come over and go, hey, good game, man, how you
doing?
You taught that from the beginning of your high school playing days.
Yeah, I remember you used to have to do that.
And I'm like, do I have to?
These fuckers, that guy hit me in the balls and that guy bit my foot.
Yeah, but I remember seeing that high school football games.
They'd line up and they'd just pass by each other saying, good game, good game, good game.
We had to go say hello to Bigam.
Bigam, not Bigam, Bigam.
I never did tell Bigam's story like I was supposed to that last time.
Yeah, you know what?
If I remember, I'll tell it here at the end.
All right.
Okay.
All right.
Are you ready for the worst trades?
Yes.
All right.
Number 10, DeAndre Hopkins to the Cardinals.
Interesting that he popped up on number 10, isn't it?
Yeah.
CBS Sports was way ahead of this one.
The CBS Sports.com is the one that came up with this list.
CBS Sports was way ahead of this one.
Well, probably everyone was.
Our headline back in March 16, 2020 was Texas Cardinals trade grade.
Arizona, Felices, Houston, and DeAndre Hopkins for David Johnson.
Who the hell is David Johnson?
Yeah.
Okay.
Johnson, a 2020 second round pick and 2021 fourth round pick.
They got a fourth round pick too for DeAndre Hopkins.
This trade certainly had to do with Johnson's contract as he had a combined 20 million cap
hit over the next two seasons.
So that Texas not only let DeAndre Hopkins go, but they also had the cap hit of Johnson
who went to them.
Wow.
20 million for each of two years doesn't sound like much anymore, does it?
Yep.
And then Johnson's pitch, Johnson's pick, it looks better now.
Johnson averaged 36.8 rushing yards per game.
He rushed for six touchdowns.
In Hopkins, he turned into Kyler Murray's number one pick wide out.
Yeah.
So yeah.
Johnson averaged 77 yards per game while catching 17 touchdowns in 35 contests.
So yeah.
Yeah.
They leased them.
Yeah.
And they even ate the money on Johnson too.
Wow.
Yeah.
Number nine, Trent Richardson to the Colts.
Oh.
This was a good one.
Recent.
Yeah.
Now I like this list because there are a lot of recent ones on there.
Where did Trent come from?
In two time, BCS national champion during this time at Alabama, Richardson was selected
by the Browns as a number three overall pick in the 2020 or 2012 NFL draft.
In his rookie season, Richardson rushed for 950 yards and 11 touchdowns, but was traded
just two games into the second NFL season to the Colts for a first round pick.
During that 2013 campaign, Richardson never crossed 64 yards and rushed for just three
touchdowns in 2014.
Richardson rushed for 519 yards and three touchdowns in 15 games and then never played
again.
That's right.
Richardson's last NFL game came on December 28th, 2014.
Wow.
You wouldn't think of this because this was not very publicized at all.
For the first round, Indy, pick Indy gave up.
Richardson averaged 33.7 rushing yards per game and 3.1 yards per attempt in 29 total
game played.
So.
Pretty mediocre.
Yep.
Wow.
Number eight.
You'll remember this one.
Yeah.
Charles Haley to the Cowboys.
Yeah.
From the Niners, that was.
Yes.
Yep.
Haley's or Haley cemented himself as one of the best pass rushers in the NFL after six
seasons with the 49ers.
He was good.
Yeah, he was.
Having made three Pro Bowls on top of two Super Bowl victories, however he battled with
teammates and coaches behind the scenes, leading him to be dealt to Dallas for a second round
pick and a third round pick.
Haley found immediate success with the Cowboys as Dallas won Super Bowls in three out of
the next four years.
Jerry Jones has said the Cowboys could not spell Super Bowl without Haley.
Hurry, SBN.
And I agree with him.
Yeah.
Haley was a monster.
To make matters worse for the 49ers in his first two seasons with the Cowboys, Haley
knocked his former team out of playoffs and NSC championship both years.
There's a lot of history between those two teams.
Yeah.
So anyhow, so as CBS Sports historian Brian D'Alderau put it, imagine Chiefs trading Chris
Jones to the Bengals and the Bengals beat the Chiefs in the next two AFC title games.
Oh, God.
I agree with him.
Yeah, that would be really a bitter pill to swallow, wouldn't it?
Oh, it would.
It'd be like, man, we did this self to ourselves.
Yeah.
So next one, Brett Favreau.
For every.
Brett Favreau to the Packers.
From New Orleans.
New Orleans?
No.
Atlanta.
Atlanta, that's right.
No, I was going to say another southern city.
Yeah.
Brett Favreau was in the Falcons in the second round of the 1991 NFL draft and attempted
four passes for zero yards, zero touchdowns and two interceptions in his rookie season.
There's clearly some dysfunction with the Falcons, so the Packers approached them and
sent a first round pick in exchange for Favreau.
A first round.
Yeah.
So they had to have known something to fucking throw away a first round on him, right?
I've heard from Brett Favreau himself that the coach in Atlanta at the time didn't want
him, didn't like him, was trying to find any way to not use him.
And you couldn't wait to get rid of him.
Yeah.
And also another thing, Andy Reid, I believe when he was on the Walrus.
Holmgren.
Mike Holmgren's staff was a quarterback coach at the time.
And he told, supposedly from what I read, he told Brett Favreau, you're never going
to win this league until you learn defenses.
Yeah.
And he started learning defenses and the rest is history.
In college you can get away with that.
Yeah.
In college.
But in pros you gotta learn, you gotta read the defense.
They're too complex.
Yeah, you have to know what's coming after you where.
So anyhow, a first round pick for a quarterback, you have to complete a pass to the correct
team that failed the physical after the trade seemed pretty ridiculous compensation.
But it wasn't as Favreau went on to win three MVP's, Super Bowl 31, and lead the NFL in
passing touchdowns four different times.
Maybe the Falcons should have had a little more patience with their gunslinger from southern
Mississippi.
Yeah.
But Jerry Glanville and Ken Henrick will never agree on whose fault it was.
That's right, it was Glanville.
Yeah, it was.
It was Glanville.
He hated him.
Like you just said.
Yeah.
He didn't want anything to do with it.
Obviously did not draft him.
That was the front office.
Yeah.
Yep.
Wow.
Yeah.
This next one you'll remember too.
Steve Larchett.
Oh yeah.
To the Seahawks.
Where did he come from?
I just remember him as a Seahawk and he was so good.
The Tulsa product was selected by the Oilers in the fourth round of the 1976 NFL draft.
But Larchett apparently did nothing to stand out to Bum Phillips in the preseason.
Houston shipped his brand new fourth round pick to Seattle in exchange for a lowly eighth
round pick.
Oh, that was back when there were more rounds.
Yeah, there were more rounds.
Yep.
With the Oilers quickly punting on their mid-round investment.
Wow, that's a good one.
Yeah.
This is really just coming through in waves, isn't it?
It is, isn't it?
It's kind of a training effect is what they're saying.
Yeah.
Well, that was a mistake because Larchett went on to have an incredible playing career.
He did.
Larchett led the league in receiving yards twice and was a five-time All-Pro.
Five-time All-Pro.
So there's more, but I mean, anyone with any type of sports history at all knows that Larchett
was one of the best ever.
Yeah.
That's odd because 76, the Seahawks were an expansion team that year.
Yes.
So he traded him to the expansion team.
I guess an eighth round, you're pretty much guaranteed you're picking first in the eighth
round.
Yeah, that's true.
Yeah.
But that reminded me that-
But still, eighth round.
The NFL draft, yeah, that's pretty small.
But the NFL draft used to run until teams quit picking.
Yeah.
And you could have like 43 rounds if teams still wanted to pick.
Yeah.
And now it's just like you can go sign them afterwards, but it's not a draft pick.
Yeah.
But the Houston Mize well said, here, here's Steve Larchett and kick me square in the ass.
Yes.
There you go.
Thanks.
That's it, right there.
Number five, Deshaun Watson to the Browns.
Yeah.
Is this not a good one?
Oh man, that's an awful trade.
The book is not written on the trade just yet.
I think it is now.
Yeah, I think it's written now.
This is the first this season, I think, is when this came out.
Yeah.
I think it's fair to conclude it.
The Browns got better last year when a 38 year old quarterback.
Yeah, block out.
Brought in off the street, took over.
Back in 2022, it was understood that Watson wanted out of Houston, but all that time,
those as the women had accused him of sexual misconduct that apparently did nothing to
sink his stock.
Well not to the Browns, everyone else did.
No one else was interested.
Yeah.
And you know, that's why he wanted out of Houston, because he was trying to run away
from his problems.
Yeah.
Yep.
So the Browns stepped up and gave the Houston's a package that included their first round
picks in 2022, 2023, and 2024.
First round picks three years.
That's just, oh.
Isn't that crazy?
It stuns me that Houston is as good as they are after giving up that much.
I know.
A 2022 fourth round pick, a third round pick, a selection of 2023.
You mean the Browns.
The Browns are the ones that gave that up.
Oh, that's right.
Okay.
Opposite.
Yeah.
Okay.
I was thinking of backwards.
You're right.
That's cool.
The Browns also received a 2024 sixth rounder from the Texans.
Now you know how they got the beef up.
Yeah.
This is not quite the worst trade ever, but close to, and you know who I'm alluding to.
Yeah, I got a pretty good idea.
And anyhow, then the Browns gave the quarterback involved an off field controversy, a fully
guaranteed $230 million deal.
To this day, no quarterback has been given more guaranteed money.
Wow.
Not the Holmes, not Allen, none of these guys.
I wonder if Prescott might have over-clitched him by now, but maybe not.
Well, this is the start of the season.
Oh yeah.
So I guess not.
Yeah.
Wow.
The Browns offense averaged at 19.7 points per game.
Watson start versus 21.5 per game with the other starting quarterbacks.
All the other starting quarterbacks were average tire.
Watson still hasn't thrown for 300 yards in any of his 12 games for the Browns.
I didn't know that.
And he still hasn't.
As for the Texans, they quickly found their quarterback of the future in CJ Stroud and
used the Brown draft selections to acquire several notable players with more on the way.
Kenyon Green, John Mitchie the third, Christian Harris, Damian Pierce, Thomas Booker, Will
Anderson Jr. and Tank Dale.
Brandon Hill, Xavier Hutchinson, he pronounces the X also.
20-24 first round pick, 20-24 third round pick.
Wow.
Do I need to go on?
No, that pretty much covers it.
There's more, but that's it right there.
Wow.
And the league approved that deal.
The league approved that deal.
Crazy.
That tells you what they think of Cleveland.
Yeah.
They should have stopped them from themselves.
That's where I came up with the question, don't ever allow them to pick a number one
quarterback again.
Just say no.
Gosh.
It's amazing that the Cleveland Browns organization has shot themselves in the foot so many times.
Yeah.
Specifically over the quarterback position.
I'm surprised people even go to their games.
I'm surprised they're loyal to them.
I don't know if I could be.
I'd probably be like, you know what?
No.
Who's close?
Steelers?
Okay, I'll go there.
Yeah.
Well, we do two shows from here.
Yeah.
We milk it.
Yeah, we milk it.
We're gambling.
Yeah.
You're doing great.
Thank you.
Rain stopped again.
Yeah, it did.
Number four, Jeff George to the Falcons.
Oh, wow.
I think you'll remember that.
I remember him going there.
I don't remember what the trade was.
Neither do I, actually.
Yeah.
The Colts traded with the Falcons to move up to number one overall in the 1990 NFL draft
for quarterback Jeff George.
But after going 14 and 35 as a starter over four seasons, he was traded to the team the
Colts traded with initially to acquire George, the Falcons.
Atlanta was in the market for a new quarterback and sent India a first round pick, a third
round pick, and a conditional future first round, conditional future first round.
Wow.
And a third for George.
That conditional selection turned into Marvin Harrison.
As George, he went seven to nine with Atlanta in 1994 and then nine and seven in 1995, a
season which did include a playoff berth.
However, the next season in 1996, George got into a very public argument with the Falcons
head coach, June Jones.
Remember him?
Yeah.
It was suspended for the rest of the season.
He never played for the Falcons again.
George went 16 to 19 as a starter for Atlanta and he threw 50 touchdowns with 32 interceptions.
In 2016, Pro Football Reference posted on social media that players taken with picks
of the Falcons traded for George were worth 279 average, which was the highest of trade
involvement of first round picks since 1994.
Wow.
Yeah.
George had all of that talent, but he just couldn't get out of his own way.
Remember, he had a million dollar arm and a nickel mind.
Yeah.
Well, his mind was sharp.
He could read defenses, but his maturity was-
No discipline.
No maturity.
Yeah.
His maturity and discipline was about a spoiled five-year-old.
Yeah, that's it.
Yeah.
And always crying.
Yeah.
Number three, John Haddle or Haddle?
I think Haddle's whatever more often.
I think it's Haddle.
To the Packers.
After 15-4 stand as starter for the Rams, the Packers traded for Haddle in the middle
of 1974.
I'm going to pronounce the H like Hilaire.
Haddle.
Yes.
In the middle of the 1974 season, sent in to LA first and second round picks in 1975
and 76, plus a third rounder in 1975.
This was a 34-year-old quarterback.
Wow.
Haddle just played 22 games for Green Bay going 7-12 as a starter.
He threw just nine touchdowns compared to 29 interceptions.
Oh.
Nine slash 29.
Wow.
That's a killer.
What is that, like a minus 10 quarterback rating?
That's like one out of every three passes you throw is a touchdown.
The other two interceptions.
The interceptions.
Good Lord.
So he ended up finishing his career with the Oilers.
It wasn't bad enough that the Packers were actually looking at Archie Manning before
landing Haddle.
Dan Devine.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, former Missouri head coach and a lot of places.
Was super aggressive with his quarterback addition and even shocked the man he traded
for.
I didn't really believe it Haddle said in 2006 interview via the Packers official website.
I didn't think anybody would be that desperate.
He said this.
Haddle.
Wow.
That's pretty bad when you surprise anyone who wants him.
Yes.
That's lack of confidence is not really attractive in a starting quarterback.
Yep.
Now looking at the radar here, looks about another six, seven minutes we're going to
get not clobbered again.
Oh, wow.
Okay.
Well, let's enjoy this very sticky muggy weather while it's here, right?
Yes.
Okay.
Number two, Russell Wilson to the Broncos.
Oh, yeah.
That's got to be on that.
It's number two.
The Broncos thought they found their quarterback in the future and Wilson and outbid every
interested team for the Super Bowl win and veteran in 2022.
The Broncos sent the Seahawks a 2022 first round pick, a 2022 second round pick, a 2022
fifth round pick, a 2023 first round pick, a 2023 second round pick, plus tight end Noah
Fant, defensive lineman Shelby Harris, and quarterback Drew Locke in exchange for Wilson
and a 2022 fourth round pick.
Before he played a single snap, the Broncos gave Wilson 245 million multi-year extension
that was supported to carry him through 2028.
However, he officially will be released before the start of the 2024 season.
Yeah.
He's in Pittsburgh now.
Yep.
Wow.
They now take on an NFL record, 85 million in dead cap, 85 million in dead cap.
And all those draft choices gone.
Yeah, all of them.
They're hand-cut on all these drafts for several years.
They must have really thought that Wilson was the only piece they needed to get to the
Super Bowl a couple of times.
If you were John Elway, would you have done this?
I wouldn't have.
I've been like, no.
No.
The guy is already-
You've got to seriously question his abilities.
He's already in his 30s.
And Pete Carroll couldn't handle him after the initial success.
Yeah.
And it's not that Wilson's all that bad.
Yeah.
I mean, he's okay.
But you paid for him like he was perfect.
Yeah.
And he was going to be super reliable, and you count on him, and he's going to win all
these games, and then he just wasn't.
Yep.
And then you'll remember this too.
Adding injury to insult.
The Seahawks make playoffs with his replacement, Geno Smith, winning comeback player of the
year.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
And in for Russell Wilson, the Seahawks got Drew Locke, Noah Phant, Shelby Harris, Charles
Cross, the 20-22 first, Will Muff, Maffei, M-A-F-E.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
20-22 second, Tyreek Smith, 20-22 fifth, Devon Witherspoon, 20-23 first.
Who's looking like he might be pretty good.
Yeah.
And Derek Hall, who doesn't look too bad either, 20-23 second.
I don't know if the Seahawks even have Drew Locke anymore.
I don't think they do.
I forgot where he went to.
Yeah.
Anyhow.
Missouri quarterbacks just don't see me catch on, do they?
No.
No, they don't.
Nope.
For some reason.
Yeah, for some reason.
Yeah, I don't even know how they do so well in the SEC, honestly.
Yeah.
There are a lot of competition in there.
Number one, Hershel Walker, two of the Vikings.
He's the largest trade in NFL history and probably the worst.
Here's a rundown on the compensation thanks to Pro Football Hall of Fame.
Hershel Walker from the Dallas Cowboys to Minnesota.
Dallas also traded for his third round choice in 1990, his 10th round choice in 1990, his
third round choice in 1991 to Minnesota.
Hey, wait a minute.
What's his name?
He was the running back.
Reggie Williams?
Yeah.
The pot smoker?
The pot smoker.
That should have been on here.
Yeah, that was the one I was going to bring up.
Mike Dick had traded everything.
All of his draft picks.
Yeah.
He should have been on here.
He should have been on there.
He should have been right after Russell Wilson or before.
Anyhow.
Minnesota traded linebacker Jesse Solomon, linebacker David Howard, quarterback Isaiah
Holt, defensive end Alex Stewart along with the first round choice in 1990, a second round
choice in 1990, his sixth round choice in 1990, first round choice in 1991, and let's
say second round choice in 1991, first round choice in 1992, the second round choice in
1992, and his third round choice in 1993 to Dallas.
Minnesota traded for running back Darren Nelson to Dallas which traded Nelson to San Diego
for the Chargers fifth round choice in 1990 which Dallas sent to Minnesota.
It's a lot to go through but yeah, they got fleeced.
And that's how Dallas built their franchise.
Yep.
Their dynasty.
Yep.
It was all those draft picks and Herschel Walker went to Minnesota and promptly got
injured.
Yeah.
Yeah, after two years he was done.
Done.
Yeah.
He garnered a little bit over 2,000 yards and 20 touchdowns so he wasn't a failure there
but he got injured and ended his career.
And in the NFL he kind of played the tailback or eye back role which is more of a college
position.
In the NFL it's like running back.
It's running back, yeah.
But he was definitely more of like the full back slash tail back slash eye back.
Yeah.
Big, strong, powerful, going to run over people.
Yeah.
So.
We have, okay, so with some of these choices and they went to the Super Bowl many times
after that.
Yeah.
Emmett Smith.
Yes.
Russell Maryland.
Yeah.
The defensive back Darren Woodson.
Oh, he was good.
Yep.
ESPN made a documentary out of this transaction called The Great Trade Robbery.
It will always be known just as that unless the Seahawks win multiple Super Bowls off
of their pick which they won't.
What got me was this right here.
Reggie Williams should have been number two or three.
Yeah.
Because Mike Dicke came up what?
He gave up three first rounds?
At least two.
I remember him saying he would trade every draft pick he had in the draft in order to
move up to draft Reggie Williams.
So it's not really trading for a player, it's trading for a draft position.
So maybe that's why he didn't make the list.
Dicke doing this was so weird, is this right here.
He didn't have the complete team.
No.
So why would he just get a running back that could maybe get you nine and seven?
A publicity stunt going wrong.
It would have to be.
Yeah.
I would like to think he's more intelligent than that.
They may have thought, okay, let's do this, get a lot of attention, and then the running
back's going to be here for three, four, five years.
It'll give us time to build a team around him, but this will excite the ticket buyers
and get more season ticket sales, et cetera, et cetera.
That might have been their idea.
But he picked the absolute wrong person to draft that way.
I remember the league frantically trying to... Here comes the rain I was telling you
about.
Oh yeah.
It's been about eight or nine minutes, like you said.
The league was trying to shut down the trade.
They kept calling, it's like, you can't do this.
This is just wrong.
This is too unbalanced.
But he went ahead and did it.
And then they promptly made that illegal from that point on.
Yeah.
But the thing is, is they let him do it.
Yeah.
They couldn't stop him.
Yeah.
They're like, okay, well, go ahead and step in that puddle of crap.
Poor Reggie Williams.
He had such crushing social anxiety that weed was the only way he could handle it.
But of course, that was illegal in the NFL at the time.
So the only way he could handle... Remember he'd do his press conferences after the game
with his helmet still on?
Yeah.
It's because he's so shy.
He's like, he didn't want to be looked at.
I remember that, yeah.
But so the only way he could handle the anxiety and the tension was to be high all the time.
That's true.
And he eventually left the game because that was all he could handle.
It was like, I just need to spend my life getting high.
He came back and then didn't do much.
He came back to Miami.
Yeah.
And he had a so-so career there.
Yeah.
He eventually quit fairly young.
Yeah.
Because of lack of interest, really.
Yeah.
I think that was the main thing is he really didn't feel like going through it anymore for
what he was getting out of it.
No.
I mean, we would have enjoyed seeing him play a few more years, but he did what was best
for him.
You can't fault that.
No.
He got his money.
Yeah.
And then some.
So how long we got?
We got an hour and 23 minutes.
All right.
Well, you want to wrap this up?
I think that would be a plan.
All righty then.
All right.
This is Sports Bastard signing off.
Thank you for listening.
And by the way, we have a lot of listeners.
Thank you.
Bye.
Thank you.
Bye.