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Two Douchebags and a Microphone. I'm Mark.
And I am Rob.
Back for week two.
Yeah, Mark, I need you to do me a favor.
Before we go off the air, remind me to grab my laundry out of the dryer.
They weren't closed. I need them for tomorrow.
Thank you.
You don't want to worry at four in the morning about your work clothes. I get it.
No, no, no. And then you can't find them. Oh, oh hell, they're next door in the dryer.
Oh, oh, got you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got to go to a right.
Yeah, my laundry facility is next door.
Okay, okay. I got you. Okay. Definitely get that.
All right. I'm going to put a note on my computer right here and hopefully it will do what it's supposed to and pop up about nine o'clock.
So we'll see if it does.
Anyhow, you know, last podcast, first off, Topher and I had a really, really good Sports Bastards.
That is going better. It's going unbelievably well.
I mean, we really had a great time at the City Market and we can't wait to do Music Creeps and hopefully Rob can be a part of that.
Anyhow, what now? I'm telling you. Yeah, football is insane right now.
Yes. And I'll tell you what. There's upset. There's all kinds of stuff going on.
Yeah. Anyhow, it's reflecting in people listening. I mean, they like this podcast too, but the Kansas City numbers are just going crazy.
And that's because it's an NFL show and Kansas City is an NFL town. Yeah, Chiefs.
So we talk a lot of Chiefs on there and it is doing very well in Kansas City because that and it's doing well in other places because we don't just speak in the Chiefs.
You know, we make predictions and we also grade ourselves, which usually isn't that good of the week before that of our predictions.
So anyhow, so today we did a rundown. We have this thing called Bullet Points where we discuss topics on NFL like one of them that we did today that I really loved is.
And I want to get your input on this. And that's why I'm asking you, Rob.
OK, should you enact a new rule at the one minute line? One minute a team can opt to have one more timeout on that one minute, but they have to go back 20 yards to get it.
And this would be fine for someone like Kansas City where my home's has the arm.
Josh Allen has the arm. You know, it would be fine for some of these teams that aren't necessarily worried about the yardage, but they're worried about the time.
OK, I see that. Yeah, I like the rule myself and Topher liked it too. And then we. Yeah.
And then we had another one that I'm going to ask you to. And I don't know about 20 yards, maybe 10. I think that might be a little.
I would say if anything like that ever happens, it would probably be more like 10 yards. Yes.
But yeah, I would be. More thoughtful of 10 yards instead.
And you were you were you were probably if that happened last last minute of the game. Yeah.
I mean, come on. Yeah, no, no, I agree with that.
The reason they do the 10 yards is is not everybody is a Patrick Mahomes or a Josh Allen.
That's why they do the 10 yards. If everybody was a Josh Allen and Patrick Mahomes after see with that distance, they'd be like, sure.
20 yards is fine. But yeah, they'd want it to where it really helped every team or hurt them.
So that would probably be the way to go is you would have to go and do 10 yards.
And then the second one, I want I want the NFL teams to do this one time or for one year.
I want all of the NFL teams to have the same colored uniform, look an exact same.
Only difference is the name on the back. And I want to see how many interceptions, how much.
I just I just think that would be a grand clusterfuck.
And I like that Topher liked it, too, for one season. And that's it.
They take it away. I like that, too.
Wouldn't that be incredible? It's like, I just think I think he just threw it to Kelsey.
But I'm not for sure. You know, I think that would be insane.
So anyhow. All right. Well, let's go ahead and get into this.
You know, I was talking last week about about Eureka Springs, the trip there. Right.
Well, I got a couple more stories that I did.
I remember I opted to go ahead and go into some other stuff so it wasn't redundant.
So I'm going to go ahead and do the other two stories that I have right now and get them out of the way.
And then we have some music news that I want to get to and whatever you got there, Rob.
So, OK, I was checking out. I got a few things.
I know you do. And I can't wait to hear them.
I was checking out of the cabin and I was feeling a bit weird, you know, a little hung over.
Yeah. Yeah. Yep. Had a great night tonight before. Yeah.
Yeah.
No. Oh, I thought you said no, no, no.
Yeah, that's what I said. Yeah. No, you weren't hung over.
OK. No, you're right. OK. That's what I meant by that.
Oh, I thought you're good ready to go into something. OK.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You were not.
OK. So I go to the owner of the cabin and I tell him I want to take three blocks of wood with me.
This is the wood I didn't get to burn because of the fire ban.
He still he still doesn't know I was screwing with him.
He probably won't ever rent to me again.
I go, yeah, I go. I normally burn three blocks of wood, but because of the fire ban, I didn't get to.
You care if I just take them on the way out?
He looks at me funny. And I'm just sitting there with a straight face going to the wood, you know, out there near the fire pit.
I'll just go ahead and I'll grab three of them. He looked at me even weirder.
And I go, all right, have a good day. And he doesn't know if I took him or not.
I was just messing with him. I didn't want the wood. I just fucking with him.
And it did not go over well either.
He was either confused or thinking, what an asshole or both.
Probably both. So anyhow, the Crescent.
Honestly, I'm getting confused.
Probably. He's probably like, you really want those three blocks of wood that you would have burnt if there weren't.
Anyhow, so the Crescent Hotel, it has so much history from it has huge stone fireplaces and unique balconies and patios.
You know, but in the middle of all this, what gets overlooked a lot, it's a huge pipe organ.
This beautiful, large pipe organ is snuggled on the backside of the main room in this historic building.
And you can see the note in front of the pipe organ. This the history of this organ is really remarkable.
Listen to this. This is something else. I couldn't believe it.
All the years I've been going there, Val said, hey, read this.
And I went over there and I was like, I was kind of floored.
The organ was built to be on the Titanic.
The instrument was delayed three months due to a shortage of supplies to build the organ.
The organ was bought from the owners of the Crescent because the organ was finished too late for the Titanic's inaugural and last voyage.
The organ is still in mint condition and could be played anytime needed.
Isn't that something? That was supposed to be the organ on the Titanic.
Yeah. And because they were a little slow to get in parts, parts weren't available like they thought.
It was delayed three months and it didn't go on the Titanic. It would still be at the bottom of the ocean.
But instead it's at the Crescent because they couldn't get parts.
I thought that was really unique, the history of that organ. You don't hear stuff like that very often, right?
Right, right.
Okay. And then finally, my final story of Eureka Springs.
Then we're going to move on to other stuff. We're going to move into your stuff.
And then I got music stuff I want to talk about.
And then we have emails and Tulsa King has some in there.
Oh, right on.
Yeah, One-Ums from Left Field. I love it. You'll see what I mean.
Okay. I was sitting and enjoying the colorful dusk on the balcony of our stay.
Here comes my old friend, the guy that narrates the ghost tour. Remember him?
He starts off right below the Basin Park Hotel, which is right below my balcony.
I've been through there. I know what you're talking about.
Yeah, he starts right there and he has to give so much history before he leaves.
So he's kind of there for like 10 minutes, starting this whole thing off.
I remember the guy...
He's right under you.
Yes. I remember the guy. It's the same tour guide. It's the same guy I've been torturing for years, Rob.
I could even recite the stories he tells about this place.
I have it memorized. He says ghost five times and I remembered it. All of them.
When he mentions ghost, I yell boo.
I do this until he moves the crowd. He cannot move the crowd until the story of that area is over.
He glares at me every time and I'm certain he remembers my face.
I'm the one that tortures him about twice a year.
The crowd at first gives me mean glare, but eventually they succumb to laughter and giggles after the banter.
So I'm happy to say I never ran into that tour guide face to face ever.
I think he would probably take a baseball bat to me.
Yet.
Yeah. Every time he said ghost, I go, boo.
And you see the look on his face. He's like, again? So anyhow, Rob, we turn to you.
That's my that's my rest of my Eureka Spring stuff I didn't get to last week.
So Rob, be my guest.
Actually, that's a good one. That was a good one.
Oh, I piss him off. I got to get a picture of him when I do that or a video.
I'll get a video and I'll send it to you next time.
But no, put on put on a Facebook. Oh, yeah, that's a good idea.
OK, I just put I posted a new picture of what I'm wearing tonight.
All right, I'll have to go there tonight. Tonight.
I am in my Belton High School class of nineteen eighty seven alumni T-shirt.
The Pirates, right? Yeah, the Belton Pirates.
Yeah, they all are these are by the way. Yep.
Not Belton, Texas. Yeah.
And my buddy Michael, if he'll appreciate it, he'll see it.
So, OK, cool. Yeah.
He same class. He's the one that just moved down here to the lake.
Oh, OK. Very cool. Yeah.
OK, I want to stay in Missouri on this personal. OK.
A town called Pine Lawn, Missouri.
I don't think I've ever heard of it of you until now.
I'm guessing it's pretty rinky dee. I would think so.
I did not look it up, which I should have. Yeah, well, you know what?
If anyone has any questions, there's Google, right?
Yeah, Pine Lawn as like your front lawn.
Yeah, and a pine cone and then lawn. Yeah.
OK, that's easy enough, I think. OK.
Despite a recent fight over it,
a plan to board up 20 vacant homes went ahead as scheduled Saturday.
Uh huh. Go ahead.
I had to take a quick drink. Oh, no, my phone had been messing with me.
That's why I asked. OK. Yeah, I can hear my voice.
Yeah. OK. My voice gives out. OK. No, that's cool.
Uh, partners from Mid-America partners, regional council
volunteered for this Saturday to make it happen.
The officials say many of these vacant properties pose a danger to the public.
The engine, if you heard at first, I said a fight over it.
Uh huh. The fight reportedly resulted
in injuries during a recent board of alderman meeting.
Two alderman and two police officers were injured in a dispute around the meeting.
Oh, wow.
Two alderman and two police officers were injured. Uh huh.
At a town meeting. That's pretty crazy. That is. Yeah.
Over boarded up windows of vacant homes.
My suspicions is this tension was going on way before that.
But, you know what? Um, whatever.
But why? Why wouldn't they want to board up?
That's, yeah, that's a great point. I don't know.
I mean, if there's a fight, there's somebody fighting that, and it's not that.
Yeah, and that doesn't seem to make sense. Yeah.
And then you get two alderman and two police officers injured?
That's nuts too. Yeah.
Um. That's pretty, yeah, something's going on.
Pine Lawn, they all know each other. They all live next to each other, obviously.
So there's probably a lot of heat going on. Yeah.
You know, it could have started from someone's dog shitting on someone's lawn to, uh, who knows?
You know? You keep letting Fido come shit all over my lawn, you bastard,
and probably just progress from there. Who knows what it was?
But I'm pretty sure that did not originate, the fight did not originate there.
No, I don't think so. You think it's safe to say, Rob? Yeah.
Hey, it came across the internet that way. That's the way I read it.
No, no, no, no. That's a great story. Geez.
Um. Did anyone get arrested, anything? Did it say?
No, it doesn't say. It doesn't say.
Or maybe they all called it a wash because everybody was involved.
They're like, alright, everybody go home, get some good sleep,
put some ice on it, and we'll convene in a couple of weeks.
Yeah, it's pretty crazy. That is. That would be nuts.
That would be nuts. Wow. Alright. Which, yeah.
Alright. Um. You want to get into some music news?
Or, you know what, let's take our first break.
Let's take our first break and let's come back with some emails, okay?
Oh, hey, yeah, that sounds good.
Yeah, there's a few of them and a lot of people asking about you,
and I want to get to them because I want you to answer some of them, okay?
There's a lot of really good people out there that give a shit about you,
and I think it's awesome. So, anyhow, alright, we'll be right back.
Take it that way. It's just like that.
There's a lot to do.
But you have to go.
And get out of here before you get eaten.
Wild asparagus is plentiful and easy to find.
It can be stirred with garlic and onion, which is both wild,
which can be easily found in a very tasty post-apocalypse food.
We can make this into a delicious stew,
and this will hold you over at least for a couple of days
until you can find some other food.
Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to climb Mountain Dew.
Our constant pursuit for a real knee-slapper.
It's strange insults from an alien. Real hilarity.
You are just like a cloud. It's a beautiful day when you disappear.
And now, deep-thunderous bar.
If I were floating around your space,
if I was to put my arms and legs,
I'd float faster.
Next up, things overheard in hell.
John Wayne Gasey is in charge of human resources.
Bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark.
I shouldn't have ever taught that dumb dog how to read.
Next time you take a dump, listen to two douchebags and a microphone.
It's been proven in laboratory labs to relax your anal canal.
Get in cover.
You're dead.
Two douchebags and a microphone. I'm Mark.
And I am Rob.
Alright. You want to get to these emails, Rob?
Yeah, let's do it.
First one. Just check it in to see how Rob is doing.
Sounds like he has some issues to clear up.
I and many others wish him well. Tulsa King.
Thank you, Tulsa King. I'm back.
I'm doing good, brother.
Ronnie from Tulsa is your biggest fan, Rob.
The dude worships you.
Honestly, this weekend, my son and his girlfriend
and their two golden labs and two cats are moving out.
So I'll have a lot more sanity. Just saying.
There he goes.
Thank you, Ronnie. Thank you.
You constantly kept up.
And we're going to have two bedroom apartments.
Oh. Probably going to be a good thing then. Yeah.
Oh yeah. It's just going to be me, boss, and Shadow.
This isn't the first time Ronnie asked about you either.
This is just the email that I chose to pick out.
He's been asking about you messaging me.
And I'm glad you're well. And he's glad you're well too.
So anyhow, he's a good guy.
Which, by the way, before we're done tonight,
I have some homework for you.
Okay. Sounds good.
You want to cover it now? I think Ronnie might like it.
Go ahead. Yeah.
Our top ten favorite 90s rock songs.
Ooh. Okay. Wendy, what?
90s. Not our usual 70s and 80s. 90s.
Okay. And this is due by when?
Yeah. We'll do our normal two weeks.
Okay. Sounds good.
Next one. Hey. Do you have any plans on Rob joining the show again?
I think he is perfect to co-host to your personality. I agree.
I hope he is doing well. Jeremy M. doesn't tell from where.
Well. Thank you, Jeremy. I'm back.
There you go. Yeah. And I agree.
He is the perfect person to counter my personality.
My mind goes this way. His mind goes that way.
Even though we share a lot of the same interests and everything,
it's a perfect co-host situation.
Him and I do very well.
It also helps. We go back a ways.
When one of us gets heated, we can back each other down.
Yes. Yeah. I forgot what question it was.
When we get in some subject that gets one of us heated,
we can back each other down because we've known each other so long.
I remember you backing me down. This is one really pissed me off.
The guy that kept fucking with us about music.
And finally the finger tapping one, I just exploded.
I was like, you fucking idiot.
And I pretty much went off on him. You talked me off the ledge.
You were like, hey, don't pay attention to him.
He emailed me every damn day for like a month.
He's a fucking idiot.
Yeah. I don't think he emailed.
We gave him the number. Call in.
Yeah. Oh no, I blocked him.
You don't just have to email. Call in.
Hey, I challenged him several times.
I said, you want to have a heated one? Come on in.
We'll go over it. But no, he didn't.
He'd rather just motherfuck me on email.
So anyhow, he's blocked. So anyhow.
Okay, Mark, thanks. Thanks for the Rob update.
And I'm happy you're open to him joining the podcast again.
This was a little while ago.
Johnny and OP. Remember Johnny?
Yeah. Thank you, Johnny.
Yeah. Johnny loves you too.
It really is.
Yeah. He sent me. This is not the only message Johnny sent me either.
So anyhow, he actually called me on the phone a couple of times.
And if he ever wants your numbers, is that okay?
Yeah. Yeah. I'd love to have it. I'd love to have it.
Okay. I'll send the word to him.
Because I think he didn't ask me, but I think that that's what he was kind of...
He'd like to talk to you personally.
So anyhow, I think he has some stuff that he could relate.
Make it an evening.
You hear that, Ronnie? Or not Ronnie. Johnny.
Right now on Fridays, because we're coming back four days.
Oh, you are? Oh, you don't care, do you?
We're slow, man.
Well, election...
Yeah, both aren't selling, so both trailers aren't selling.
People are scared to death to buy anything right now.
Well, it's... I've talked to a lot of people.
It's election year, man.
Yes.
We're going through it every election year.
Yeah.
And we got these new guys at work. They're like freaking out.
No, man. After election, whoever wins will find out what's going to happen.
You know?
Yeah. Yeah. And it's...
Either we're going to go under or we're not.
Yeah.
Yeah. And it depends on the confidence level of whoever got in.
Well, plus, it is coming up on Halloween. You know, it's the end of the year.
Yeah. Christmas, Thanksgiving.
Yeah. People are buying boats right now.
That combined with the uncertainty...
That's when we stock up our yards.
Yeah.
That we're kind of scared to until after the election.
And a lot of it is... Yeah, it's the presidency of the United States, yes.
But a lot of it is local...
Yeah, it's the presidency.
Local leaders that affect you directly.
That's a lot of it, too.
So...
As a small business.
It affects them greatly what the local leaders do.
So...
Okay. Next one.
Mark, I enjoy your solo cast. I also enjoy Rob on the show as well.
I've noticed that you tend to be more serious on your solo shows.
Are you still two douchebags on a microphone?
I know you have the sports bastards going on, too.
Okay. Now, it's pretty simple.
It's really hard to be funny by yourself.
Yes.
You tell a joke and you laugh yourself.
It doesn't go over very well.
We've talked about this.
Yeah, you need that other person desperately to be effective as a funnier show.
And I...
Yeah, I mean, I was just putting out odd stuff that I thought people like me would be interested in.
That's all I was doing.
I wasn't trying to be hilarious because to me, by yourself, it's pointless.
You say something...
You were just trying to keep the show going.
Yeah, because actually I was trying to figure out...
I was actually thinking about if Rob wasn't coming back, I was going to go into a niche.
I was going to maybe do some paranormal stuff, do some research.
Because this all aligns with the Intrigue Theater and all that.
And like I told you about that last episode.
But I have always been into stuff like that, the Houdini stuff.
I thought about being specialized and just doing different segments like that as a solo cast.
So, yeah, it's really hard to be ha-ha when nobody's there to ha-ha with you.
So, yeah, you're right.
Yep.
So we're back, so hopefully there's some ha-has in there, right?
Yeah.
One here or there.
Yeah, one here or there.
Yeah, you have a funny bone, a little tickler here and there.
So, anyhow.
We'll see what we decide to give them.
That's right, yeah.
Yep.
And, you know, we eventually got to get back into the hairy asshole Olympics.
We did leave that hanging.
Yeah, I got to go back and...
We got a lot of work to do on that one.
We're right at the end.
I know.
We got to come up with a complete winner.
We will.
Okay.
All right.
Mark and Rob, I agree with Lesh shows.
The quality of show you put out with Rob a day ago, this is the last...
This was the last show that we...the first one that you came back on is what he's talking
about, where Rob a day ago was the best.
Energy-wise, content-wise, it was just more entertaining.
As much as I would love more shows, I agree with your decision.
Mill Valley Run Stopper.
Is Mill Valley in Kansas?
Over maybe near south of Lecine?
Isn't that the Mill Valley?
Keep talking all that, you know.
Okay.
I think that it might be...the Mill Valley might actually be down there just south of
Lecine, over there near the wetlands.
For some reason, Mill Valley sounds like...I think that's...
Okay.
What is it?
There is a Mill Valley High School in Shawnee.
Oh, okay.
But if it's the city of Mill Valley...
Uh-huh.
Hello, California.
Oh, that could very well be.
For some reason, California is just going insane.
Yeah, we get...oh, and then...oh.
Yeah?
Excuse me.
There is another Mill Valley in Pennsylvania.
Okay.
I would tend to say California.
Yeah, we...yeah.
But it could be any of them.
Anyhow...
If they just went Mill Valley, it's like school?
It doesn't say.
I would think school because Run Stopper would allude to football, right?
Well...
Mill Valley Run Stopper is this guy's name.
Yeah.
Or her.
So I'm thinking it's Mill Valley School.
Mill Valley Run Stopper.
So that would be a defensive end or a linebacker.
Yeah.
Okay.
All right.
Oh, here's one.
We got a couple from Tulsa King that I love.
The first one.
This is...this came over a few weeks and we didn't get to answer the one last week.
And then this one came up not too long ago.
Okay.
Mark and Rob.
What was the loudest concert you have ever attended?
Ronnie and Tulsa, aka Tulsa King.
I'm going to have to say Judas Priest with Megadeth opening up for him.
I could feel the cavities in my teeth, my skull rattling.
I was getting vertigo, it was so loud.
Wow.
That's a hard one.
I'm pretty sure mine was Megadeth Judas Priest.
I've been to a lot of concerts.
But a lot of them were like outdoor.
Yeah.
You know, like Bonner Springs.
Yeah, where you have loud sound but it has more place to go.
I'm going to have to go back to the Kemper Arena days.
Yeah.
Wow.
Well, I watched Judas Priest and Megadeth a long time ago at Memorial Hall.
And that concert was so loud that the fire marshal came in there and demanded that they
turn the volume down because it's setting off fire alarms and burglar alarms within
a three mile radius.
That's how loud that concert was.
I've been at outdoor concerts that have been that loud too.
Yeah, there is some.
Let's see, what was the one that I heard was like unbearably loud that was out at Bonner
Springs at Sandstone?
Pretty much any Osfest.
Osfest, yeah.
Slipknot.
It might have been Slipknot.
The day I was in Osfest at Darryl Bonner, dude, that was the loudest music I ever heard.
It was pretty much all of them.
Okay.
You know what?
I'm going to have to give it to Osfest and that would have been...
Mid 2005, 2007, 2008, stuff like that.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's when they had Slipknot on there and Iron Maiden.
Yeah.
I think it was 05.
Okay.
I remember just back in the early 90s, and like I said, as Judas Priest, headlining and
Megadeth opening up.
And that was at Memorial Hall in downtown Kansas.
And indoor.
It was so loud, the fire marshals almost shut the whole thing down.
They came in and they demanded that they turn the volume down in half or they're going to
shut the show down immediately.
I don't know if they turned it down in a half or not, but they had to because it was interfering
with burglar alarms, it was interfering with police communication, it was setting off every
car alarm in a three mile radius.
I dare to.
One of them would stand there watching them go half way down.
I'll bet you they did too.
Just like a parrot.
Yeah.
And they were told, if they ever come back to town, that if they...
They never came back to Kansas City, Kansas.
They never...
They might have went to Bonner Springs, but Kansas City, Kansas, they had to do certain
rules and they never came back to that area.
I can guarantee you that.
Well, that...
They got fined too, I'm pretty sure.
That didn't give them a steady limit.
Yeah.
Yeah, so I was...
Not by much, but...
Yeah.
Yeah, so yeah, that was by far the loudest, but man, I'll tell you what, I was getting
vertigo, it was so loud.
It was rattling my brain that bad.
I was afraid of CTE.
So, anyhow.
All right.
Ronnie's got another one.
What's your secret ingredient in chili?
Tulsa King.
I've got a few.
You want me to go ahead or you want...
Yeah, go ahead.
Okay.
You can go the Dixon's Chili route and put a little cinnamon in it.
Harry Truman's favorite chili.
Or you can go cocoa powder, molasses, ketchup.
Maybe even some ground white pepper.
Or what I like to do is I'll mix in a little pork with the ground beef.
Gives it a little sharper flavor and add some white pepper and a little bit of cocoa powder,
I think is really good.
That's my go-to if I really want to make chili a little extravagant.
Okay.
Honestly.
Yeah.
Mine's simple as hell.
Yeah.
Grab your...
When you get your seasoning package, follow the directions.
Honestly.
You're right.
Everybody loves my chili.
And all you do is follow the directions.
All right.
No, no.
One pound of hamburger, one package of seasoning.
But yeah, just read the seasoning package.
You got the best chili ever.
There you go.
Seriously.
Okay.
Ronnie, I would like to hear your recipes.
It sounds like you're a chili fan.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We want to hear yours.
Yeah.
So, all right.
That's the end of the emails.
I had to condense them greatly.
There's a lot more than that.
And a lot of people really concerned.
A couple of people that are blocked.
Fuck them.
Anyhow.
Rob.
I'm back.
He's back.
Yeah.
So, eat shit.
Anyhow.
Go ahead, Rob.
It is your turn.
Hey.
How can I not come back and not talk about shit?
Of course.
Be my guest.
Yeah, yeah, it does kind of step on the political side a little bit.
But you'll see.
That's okay.
I don't give a shit.
I know.
I'm within boundaries.
Tressa, you're going to love this one.
Okay.
And I did not fact check this.
This come off.
Oh, the hill.
Okay.
You hit.
A sarcastic statue dedicated to January 6th, 2021, insurrectionist, was unveiled in front
of the Capitol on Thursday morning.
The piece features a bronze state pile of BCs resting atop a desk with California representative
Nancy Pelosi's name above a short paragraph displaying the monument.
This month, this memorial honors the brave men and women who broke into the United States
Capitol on January 6th to loot, urinate and defecate throughout those hallowed halls in
order to overturn an election.
Wow.
So, okay.
It is a bronze statue of shit.
Yeah.
It shows a picture of it's a coiled up pile of shit.
Kind of like a Dairy Queen comb.
Got the pointy dial.
I love that.
No matter how you feel about the insurrection, that is funny.
Yeah.
Sorry, I had to say it.
Oh, that's fine.
That's cool.
And yeah, this is mostly at the National Mall.
Wow.
In the Capitol.
Okay.
That's pretty cool.
All right.
It's actually a cool picture, man.
I'm looking it up right now.
I'm looking down to give that a mouse up.
I'm looking it up right now, actually.
Oh, wow.
I see it.
It actually is pretty cool.
Oh, so it is true then.
All right.
You fact check.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Yep.
Yeah.
It appears to be the truth.
It looks like a giant Dairy Queen comb.
It's pretty cool.
Look it up if you have any questions at all.
A little bit later, let's take our second break, but I'm going to do this later.
I want to go into music stuff, music news first.
But you know, one of the people that was sentenced to a year in jail over the insurrection was
a guy that does voices for Fox and has done other shows and a couple of movies.
Anyhow.
Yes.
I've been reading about that.
Yeah.
Let's come back to that after the break.
Actually, let's go into music news and we'll come back to it.
Does that sound good?
All right.
Yeah, because I really want to get the music news out there because I'm reading this new
book, Brothers by Alex Van Halen, and there's some stuff really interesting.
Yeah.
I can go back into that after your news or after your story.
Anyhow, we'll be right back.
All right.
Next up, things overhead in hell.
The 24 seven Jerry Lewis Telephone is coming right up.
Somewhere in the heavens, your great Grammy Gertrude is crying because her little Bebo
is listening to this film.
Hi, all.
This is Chicago.
I am the most dangerous city in North America.
You can't touch me.
Oh, yeah?
This is Kansas City here.
Hold my beer, bitch.
Hey, look.
I think we found land.
Oh, my God.
I think we're safe.
Oh, no.
It's the island of horrible jokes.
What?
What did the horse say?
After it tripped?
I've fallen and I can't giddy up.
And now, deep thoughts with Mark.
If the fly was de winged in a horrible accident, would that make the fly then a walk?
I may never know.
Two douchebags and microphone after a little technical errors there.
I think we're better now.
It seems to be recording and I seem to have captured the other recording.
So I think we're in good shape, hopefully, right?
I hope.
All right.
Alex Van Halen in his new book has revealed that him and Eddie after the departure of Gary
Sharon as the lead singer of Van Halen wanted Ozzy or Chris Cornell to front the band.
They actually talked to Ozzy in the Osborne camp, were interested in the new venture.
The plan was getting finalized when the MTV series of Osborne's was approved and Ozzy
and Sharon opted to do the show instead.
Chris Cornell was never officially asked, but it did not go into details.
I'm thinking Audioslave might have been set in stone around that time.
So he was obviously going to do Audioslave because that was his true passion was to work
with the guys from Rage from the Machine and sing with them.
And that's, you know, that's what he did.
They did it very well.
And this is from the books, the book Brothers that Alex Van Halen just released.
And I'm just going over some quick bullet points.
I'm still reading the book and there's a lot more I have to get to.
But these are the ones that are most famous that have came out ahead of the book.
And I'm just covering them real quick because I haven't even got to any of these in the book yet.
So anyhow, Alex Van Halen has a wish list of the one he wants to sing him and his brother,
Eddie's final music.
They wrote together.
He would love Robert Plant to sing it.
He plans on extending the offer.
And I'm all about that one.
Robert Plant's iconic voice, even at his age, would be amazing to hear with Eddie and Alex playing.
Would that be excellent?
Yeah, that would be amazing.
Yeah, we wish Alex a lot of luck on that.
Alex Van Halen also has an instrumental last song he wrote with his brother.
It's out right now.
It's titled Unfinished.
It's a free as a downloadable.
Go check it out.
Alex also was furious that his brother, Eddie, went to work with Michael Jackson on his song Beat It.
And he said, he said, Why would you lend your talents to MJ?
I just don't fucking get it.
The funny part was Eddie very cleverly lied his way to smooth it out and said, Who knows that kid anyhow?
Alex told his brother, You made the mistakes.
Don't act stupid trying to get out of it.
Eddie agreed to perform the guitar solo on Jackson's Beat It in 1982, which Alex claimed that led to their demise.
Alex and this is with him and David Lee Roth.
He got so ultra popular that right after that, Eddie Van Halen, he got so recognized that there is quite a bit of dissension between him and the front guy.
David Lee Roth that led David Lee Roth leaving because he was probably jealous over that kind of showboat.
Yeah, it was a showboat.
Yeah, yeah.
It was a pissing match.
So anyhow, so, you know, Eddie ignored his brother's wishes and went forward with a collaboration.
David Lee Roth was jealous of Eddie getting more spotlight than he was getting.
So he left to go solo, Alex claims.
He also wanted to do a tribute show with David Lee Roth and Wolfgang featuring Wolfgang, Eddie's son, featuring guest guitarist.
But DLR David Lee Roth refused to remember Eddie for at least one time per show.
Alex was very pissed.
So in other words, what that's saying is, is every show he wanted to do a moment to his brother, Eddie, because it was a tribute show that they were doing to his brother, his late brother.
And David Lee Roth said, I'm not doing that.
I'm not going to do that every show.
And that led to a couple of fuck yous.
And it never happened.
And I agree with Alex.
It was a tribute concert, a series of they're going to do.
Why couldn't they mention Eddie?
Right.
All right.
It would have been that big a deal.
But DLR with his fragile ego sounds to me allegedly he couldn't handle that.
So, you know, Rob, go ahead.
The Patrick Swayze 1989 film Roadhouse.
Oh, yeah.
This fiction was fictionally based in a small Missouri town called Jasper.
Yep.
Anybody knows that film knows it's filmed in Jasper, Missouri.
Yep.
However, it was all filmed in California and there was no crime boss taking over the real town of Jasper, Missouri.
So there was no real connection to Jasper except the name, which is true.
If you drive the town, you can see.
Yeah.
That wasn't that town.
Yeah.
If you watch the film, there are mountains in the distance.
An easy clue.
It's not Missouri.
Yeah.
The only mountains in Missouri are the Ozark Mountains and their big hills.
Yeah.
And that's.
Technically, I think they're in the Ozarks.
But it's not in the hills.
There is like the northern still the flat part.
Okay.
I could see that.
I mean, you don't get into the big hills and tell you.
Technically, the Ozarks runs up to about Butler.
Yes.
Technically.
Yeah.
They go to the east.
They would be in it.
Okay.
That's over around Joplin.
Yeah.
North of Joplin.
Yeah.
You start running.
Go ahead.
Located to the east of town at the main Jasper exit, they are building a roadhouse that features
the same look as the film's neon name.
The roadhouse will offer Sinclair gas, groceries, and other items.
In Jasper?
Unknown when it will be open, but we will be watching.
They already.
When it comes up, they'll.
Okay.
They already have a Sinclair there with a dinosaur out in front.
I've taken numerous pictures in front of that dinosaur.
Well, they're opening another station that supposedly looks like the roadhouse from the
movie.
I think that's fantastic.
And all the commerce going along.
And it has the name.
All the commerce going along I-49.
Everyone will stop there.
I think that's a great idea.
Exactly.
Yeah.
It's right on 49.
Yeah.
Pretty cool, man.
Very cool.
Wow.
I like that a lot.
That's neat.
It's a real good gimmick, too.
I've got something here.
You ever hear the term piss elm?
Yes.
Yeah.
We had a tree in our front yard.
My dad always called it a piss elm.
Yeah.
Well, it turns out that it's true.
There really is a piss elm.
It's not a slang term like I thought.
I thought it just meant, ah, it's a run in the mill elm.
It is an elm tree that is resistant to Dutch elm disease.
And they are called piss elms because they're hard to kill.
Oh, OK.
So it's a gotcha.
Gotcha.
Yeah.
It is not a slang term.
The name of them are piss elms.
And all that time, just like piss ants, I covered that, I think, in a solo cast.
Piss ants came from piss ants.
Piss ants are little bitty ants.
So everyone started calling them piss ants.
So this is a piss elm that people call piss elms because the only thing they could refer them to,
and that's how it got its name was, it was the elms that would not die from Dutch elm disease,
but they were an elm tree.
Interesting, huh?
Yeah.
Actually, I think my dad may have told me that.
That would not surprise me.
I've never, I've always heard of them as piss, you know.
Yeah.
Anyhow, you got something going to go into?
Oh, I got a Snoop Dogg one.
Okay.
Sounds good.
Snoop Dogg's entourage includes a staffer tasked with making sure people he is smoking
marijuana with don't get too high and telling them that's enough.
Okay.
During an appearance on Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen that aired on Sunday,
the cannabis icon was first asked who he smoked with, who he considers to be the most lightweight consumer.
He didn't name names, but offered, there's so many of them, they're featherweights.
I'm sure to him they are.
Hey, there's too many names, baby.
Why don't you come join me so I can add you to the list, Snoop said.
Cohen then reminded the rapper that I've joined you and I did okay.
That's awesome.
Andy Cohen said that, huh?
Yeah.
The host then informed the audience that Snoop has a guy with him.
When he gets you high, he kind of says, hey, stop.
Yeah.
Snoop confirmed that the unnamed person will tell others in rotation that's enough when
they smoke too much and you're at risk of getting overly stoned.
It's unclear if the person is the same Snoop disclosed, paying upwards of $50,000 a year
to roll blunts for him.
Snoop estimated in 2019 he consumes 81 blunts a day.
A day?
Oh my gosh.
What he said.
And he's old school too.
He doesn't vape.
And he pays.
He doesn't dab.
He doesn't.
He pays somebody $50,000 a year just to roll them for him.
Now you know why he does all these commercials now and he's popped up on all these shows.
He needs the money.
Wow.
Very cool.
I got something a little bit, well, it's kind of up our alley, but kind of odd.
Okay.
This is department stores and also athletic wear.
And this is according to generational and where they prefer to buy their stuff at.
We grew up in what?
TGNY, Wilco, Venture, right?
Yeah.
Okay.
Exactly.
Okay.
Well, those are discount stores like Walmart.
Most of them are buy buy except for Walmart.
So this is the actual department stores that are a little bit higher up than there.
So, and this is a breakdown.
And so the first one is the top five athletic footwear retailers in the US by generation.
Gen Z, Nike is 36%.
Adidas is 21%.
Foot Locker is 12%.
New Balance is 8%.
And Finish Line, who I've never heard of, is 5%.
Millennial, Nike is 44%.
Adidas is 13%.
New Balance is 9%.
Foot Locker is 9%.
And Skechers are 6%.
Gen X, Nike, 36%.
Foot Locker, 15%.
New Balance, 13%.
Adidas, 10%.
And Skechers at 8%.
And then finally, the Boomers.
Nike, 28%.
Foot Locker, 18%.
Skechers, 13%.
New Balance, 12%.
And Adidas, 8%.
I think that sounds about right.
What do you think?
Yeah, that sounds, yeah.
That sounds fair.
Yeah.
Well, when I go into the department stores, I think that this is going to make a lot of sense too.
Because some of these are on their way out.
And you'll see like the Boomers and Gen Xs are particular to those stores.
But anyhow, I'll go into it.
Okay, the top five department stores in the U.S. by generation.
Generation Z, Kohl's comes in at 19%.
Macy's comes in at 18%.
Nordstrom comes in at 15%.
Dillard's is 13%.
And Bloomingdale's, if you can afford to shop there, 11%.
Millennials.
That's why it's only 11%.
Yeah, that is why.
Nordstrom, Millennials, Nordstrom, 22%.
Macy's, 21%.
Kohl's, 16%.
JCPenney, 14%.
And Dillard's, yeah.
And Dillard's, remember them?
There are not too many of them around either.
Yeah, Dillard.
It's 9%.
So Millennials still remember some of those.
Now, Gen X.
Gen X I find fascinating because theirs are kind of switched around a little bit.
Macy's, 25%.
Kohl's at 24%.
Where Millennials, Kohl's is 16%.
I found that odd because Kohl's was like a relatively newer store.
So next one is JCPenney at 18%.
Dillard's at 9%.
And Nordstrom at 8%.
Then finally, the Boomers.
Listen to this, and I can't believe this.
The Boomers prefer Kohl's, 32%.
The Boomers do.
They like Kohl's.
Wow.
Yeah.
JCPenney, which is not out of the realm, 23%.
Macy's is 16%.
Nordstrom at 9%.
And Belk, whoever the hell they are, is at 7%.
Most of that, I think, was right on.
But some of that stuff, I was like, wow, I couldn't believe it because it's not in the,
let's see, the demographic that I see the Boomers being in, like Kohl's, I just see them being a younger store, right?
I couldn't believe it.
Yeah.
I couldn't believe they're number one by a bullet.
But anyhow, interesting.
Actually, I know a lot of Gen X's that go to Kohl's.
I do for my shoes because they actually bother to stock double E's.
Do they?
Yes.
You have that problem too?
You got the Fred Flintstones?
I'm like E.
Okay.
But I'm like a nine and a half.
Okay.
Yeah, it's more or less.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm a double E.
Smaller version.
I'm a double E.
And I got the Fred Flintstones.
And I cannot wear a regular size shoe.
It will not work.
I have to go double E.
And some of them are tight.
Yeah.
And Kohl's is the only major department store that I know of.
And I've been to all of them that I can get my hands on around here.
Even out of town when I used to go out of town, I used to check their local ones or
regional ones.
And Kohl's is the only one where I consistently can find double E shoes.
So, that's why I go there.
So, anyhow, Rob, you want to keep this bitch going?
You want to...
Hey, give a heads up to our listeners.
Yeah.
If you have Fred Flintstones like me, go to Kohl's.
Yeah, if you're looking for the wides, go to Kohl's.
They have them regularly.
Not the sporadic one here, one there.
And I also have a complaint too.
Most of the double E's are ugly, especially Nikes.
They don't bother to come up with good ones.
They're like, oh, if you've got Fred Flintstones, you've got to have ugly shoes.
So, anyhow.
All right, Rob, you got something you want to go into or you want to shut this bitch
off or what do you want to do?
Well, I do have a sad one.
Uh-oh.
That happened today.
Uh-huh.
Carrie Garth, the actress.
Oh, really?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well known in it.
Okay, an Oscar nominated actress known for her work in films like Young Frankenstein,
Tootsie, and Mr. Mom has died according to her manager.
Was she like in her mid 70s?
Seventy-nine.
Seventy-nine, okay.
Oh, wow.
Well, that's too bad.
Garth died Tuesday in Los Angeles more than 20 years after she was diagnosed with multiple
sclerosis.
Oh, I didn't even know that, did you?
No, I did not.
Oh, that's too bad.
She was one of my favorite actresses growing up, to be honest.
Oh, I thought a lot of her, too.
She did more than just those movies, you know?
She was in a lot of stuff, and I always loved her characters and how she played them.
Yes, yes.
Yeah.
They were fitting for her.
Yeah.
They were kind of oddball, but they were fitting, and that's what made it so good.
She was really good at what she did.
I enjoyed it.
We're going to miss you, Terry.
That's right, RIP, Terry.
Thank you for your service, your work.
We appreciate it.
All right.
I've got one more we can cap this off with if you want to hold on just a minute.
Yeah.
Okay.
Researchers at Arthas University in Denmark have developed a drug called Lockheed that
mimics the health benefits of exercise.
How Lockheed works.
Lockheed mimics the metabolic effects of exercise and fasting, which can lead to increased lactate
and ketone levels.
This can help the body mimic a state similar to running a 10-kilometer race on an empty
stomach.
Potential benefits.
Lockheed could help people who can't follow a strict exercise and diet routine.
It could also help people with brain-related conditions like Parkinson's and dementia.
The current status of Lockheed has shown positive results in rats and the first human clinical
trials are underway in Arthas University Hospital.
If successful, it could be developed into a nutritional supplement.
Other drugs that mimic the benefits of exercise include SLU PP332, which I've never heard
of, and the other one, ERRA, a protein that regulates exercise and do stress.
So, that would be pretty cool if they could do that, wouldn't it?
It's like, hang on, I gotta go work out and then you go take your pill.
All right, I'm done.
Where are we going?
That'd be great.
I'd be all for it.
Yeah, I would be.
Yeah.
So, all right.
You got anything else, Rob?
Or are we gonna shut this bitch down and call it a night?
That's all I have for tonight, brother.
That's all I got too, brother.
All right, man.
Thank you all for joining us.
All right, light it up anyway.
Well, thank you guys for joining us.
We appreciate it.
Ganiya, oh, hi Ricky.
Hi, Jimmy.
Hi, Grandma Opal, Dodge City, Kansas.
Hi, Grandma.
Hi, Ricky.
Hi, Jimmy.
We love you guys.
Hopefully, send me an email.
I don't even know if you guys listen anymore.
Yeah, please.
Yeah, I have not gotten one from them and it bothers me.
I'm hoping they're just busy.
So, anyhow.
All right.
Should we put a mandate down if we don't get an email in the next five weeks?
We're just gonna stop doing it.
Actually, I was thinking that about an hour before you called me, I was wondering, wait.
What happened to them?
Why aren't we hearing from them?
I keep putting out the call.
I mean, I would hate it if it's just not...
Yeah, we do it every show.
Yeah, I would hate it if it was just Jimmy being lazy and not doing it, then Grandma
Opal's gonna get her heart broken because we don't say hi to her anymore.
So, I'm really reluctant to do it, but at the same time, I figure if we keep putting
out the call, that he will answer it, right?
I hope.
But my email has been messed up frequently.
Yeah, you know what?
We'll talk about it later, right?
Yeah.
All right.
Good night, assholes.
Oh, no.
Looks like the show's over, kids.
Mark has explosive diarrhea and can't afford a wireless mic.
Fear not, assholes.
They'll be back invading your ear holes soon.