From the deep inside the bowels of the city market in Kansas City, Missouri downtown property
to the banks of the beautiful crystal blue waters of the Missouri River
it is the original two, Topher and Mark, given the 2024 football predictions for the season.
You thought they were done, didn't you?
Hehehehehehe
Kicking your ass with size 15 clown boots and a Dick Tracy hat.
Harambe loved talking sports. Harambe doesn't talk sports anymore. Why not? Because Harambe's dead.
Harambe died because some idiot could not watch their children properly while they were on the phone.
They shot him. Senselessly murdered. Harambe does not talk sports anymore. Sorry, Harambe.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Do you have a list of the games coming up or should I look them up?
I keep forgetting to mute our OMA.
Hey, there's something I've been reading up lately. It's actually something I predicted and warned people to worry about.
Are we on yet? Yeah. Oh, okay. Sorry.
Alright, that's okay.
Stealth attack you hear.
The DNA company 23andMe is going bankrupt.
Really? Yeah.
The entire board of directors quit at a recent board meeting, leaving just one person left behind to run the company.
They're trying to avoid bankruptcy, but they're talking that they're definitely going to have to sell off assets, maybe the entire company.
What's going to happen to everybody's records? That is going to be sold.
Oh! Yeah.
I'm glad I never done it.
Here's the kicker. I told people about this in the past.
If you had a privacy agreement with 23andMe about your DNA and the results thereof, and who owns your DNA, etc., when 23andMe goes out of business, those privacy agreements disappear.
And they can sell your DNA to somebody else and you don't have an agreement with that somebody else.
So they can use your DNA for whatever they want.
And they can share that information with whoever they want.
Oh boy. And you have zero control over it.
Oh boy. So yeah, if you've ever spit in a cup and sent it off to 23andMe, you could, I mean, talk about losing your identity or getting your identity hijacked.
This is your genetic identity. And they've got it.
That is, wow.
Now, there is a family who had an elderly woman, member of their family, back I think in the 50s, died in a certain hospital.
And the doctors there discovered that her body tissues had certain properties that made it easy to refine and invent new drugs.
So they have kept part of this poor woman's body alive, just a chunk of it.
Oh boy. So this is living tissue that was this woman's, part of this woman's body.
They've kept it alive, kept it growing for decades.
And they've farmed it and gotten tons of genetic patents off it and drug patents, etc.
The initial family got nothing. They never even gave permission for this.
And they've taken the drug company to court repeatedly and lost every time.
Wow. So the drug company owns a living part of their family member and is exploiting it for commercial gain and there's nothing you can do about it because it's legal in this country.
Geez.
Isn't that crazy?
Yeah.
I'm glad I never sent anything into 23andMe, but you know what? My sister did.
So they're real close on me. They got a real close version of my DNA.
My niece did, so yeah, they're close on me too, but they ain't got mine.
So just an interesting, I mean, all these gadgets and services and things, they sound like a ton of fun, but you got to think about the long-term effects.
It's just like when you go to these websites and they take cookies.
Those cookies reporting everything they can on you.
Yeah, they're almost like a keylogger.
Yeah. Yeah, and they sell that information to people to pester the hell out of you.
And you know, right now, I'm not going to any sketchy websites. I'm not embarrassed to have people find out what websites I've gone to because I just...
Same here.
Yeah, I go to just regular, normal ones, etc. But I still get annoyed at the targeted advertising.
Yeah.
You know, I mentioned something at like 10 in the morning, and by 2 in the afternoon, it's showing up all over my phone, my Facebook feed, my YouTube, everything.
Yeah.
It's like, oh my God, get away from me. So I'll intentionally go and search for things I'm not interested in.
Just throw them off the track, and now I'll get a feed all about like barbecued potato chips, which I really don't care about.
That's a good idea. I'm going to start doing that.
Just give them red herrings. Give them false leaves.
That's a great idea.
Because I get sick of that targeted advertisement too.
Yeah.
Because all I do is mention Nebraska Furniture Mart, and I'll get them now too. One time, and I've got 30 commercials for them on my phone.
Oh yeah. I'm going to try to bring up the current records of all the NFL teams.
Oh, that's cool. That's a good idea.
I'm going to try to bring up the current team records. So that way, when we're going through the next prediction ones, I can tell you what they're running.
So I'll just have it up. We can do it as we go.
Let's see how bad we can do this time.
Really? All right. You want to start?
Yeah.
All right. Five weeks this week. KC, Los Angeles Rams, Miami, and Minnesota.
Okay. Miami, Minnesota, KC, and who?
Rams.
And the Rams are all going to not win or lose this year. So I've got four of them right there.
Yeah. All right. Can we bet on those?
Yeah. They'll probably find a way.
Yeah. All right. First game on the docket is San Francisco at Seattle.
So let me look. Seattle is three and two, and San Francisco is two and three.
We're about to get strafed.
Oh yeah, we are. The chemtrail is all over us.
I feel myself mutating right now.
I think I'm going to go with the 49ers. I think they're going to be pissed as hell.
They're two and three. And it's Seattle, and they hate them anyhow.
Yeah. As we were just talking about, it's a good rivalry.
Yeah, it's a great rivalry.
San Francisco.
I'm going to go 27-21 Niners.
Yeah, I agree. I think Niners are not going to win this. They're not going to lose this week, no matter what it takes.
I think they're just determined.
Yeah. They want home field. They don't want to go up to Detroit, because quite possibly this year, Detroit will kill them.
Yeah. And it's looking like Detroit has a really strong chance of being the...
The representative of the NFL.
Yeah, the NFC home. They're three and one right now.
Yeah.
I'm also going to go San Francisco. I'm going to go 28-13.
I think Geno Smiths will probably come down to the earth a little bit, and San Francisco has got all the motivation to go kick their butts.
I like Epic, too. Yeah.
All right. Jacksonville at Chicago. Chicago is three and two, and Jacksonville is one and four, as we well know.
And that's the 8.30 a.m. from London.
And so we're two weeks in a row, we're having a London game. I thought this one was going to be in Germany, because usually they do a London, Germany, Berlin, probably.
Who is the home team? Who's considered the home team?
Chicago is considered home. So they're losing the home game for this.
Yeah, they're losing the home game. I'm going to pick Chicago.
You know, Caleb Williams is looking better. The whole team is looking better.
Jacksonville had their resurgent last week, and I think that's going to be the end of it.
Yeah. So I almost want to pick Jacksonville just because they started fighting back.
Yeah. Yeah.
Going to London is going to be enough of a distraction that it's going to take some of that away, I think.
Yeah. Whoa.
You know what? I'm going to stick with it.
What's your score?
21-14. It's going to be a low scorer.
I'm also picking Chicago. I'm going 27-12.
We're both really in the same ballpark. Lower scoring game than Chicago.
So I mean, that kind of presumes Jacksonville won't score a touchdown. But it just seems like 12 is the right number.
I'm comfortable with that, actually.
All right. I'm going to take that off there. I'm going to get bumpy noise every time I do that.
They'll wake my phone up to see. All right. Tampa Bay, 3-2.
At New Orleans, it was 2-3.
These games in the Nanosea South have been really crazy.
I know. Now New Orleans is going to be really mad, but they're probably going to be without a dirt car.
Yeah. He looks like he got dinged pretty good.
Yeah. So.
Haynar? Is that the other guy? Haynar?
Yeah. The guy that came in.
Yeah. H-A-E-N-E-R, something like that.
Who's the quarterback for?
Tampa.
Yeah. It's Mayfield still.
Mayfield, yeah.
I'm going to go Tampa.
I can see that. Yeah.
And it's in New Orleans.
In New Orleans.
I think Mayfield gets right on this. I think it's going to be 29 to 10.
Wow.
Well, I mean, they didn't look good last night when a dirt car left.
True. I'm also going to go Tampa Bay. I'm going to go 21-7.
I'm kind of presuming that Carr is not going to play, or if he does, he's not going to be all that well.
So I think New Orleans is going to struggle to score.
Yeah. Either one. Yeah. Either one is a bad scenario for them.
The Chiefs held the score down when we played the Saints.
Yeah, they did.
So you can control that. And they scored over 40 points their first two games, and then they haven't been able to do that since.
Yeah, Tampa Bay has a great pass rush.
So I'll look for them to terrorize whoever.
Yeah.
Excuse me. I'm just hiccuping like crazy.
Sure. Is it in Tampa, or is it in?
It's in Superdome.
Oh, okay. Good, good. Because they're not going to be tore up by a hurricane.
Yeah. Yeah. Let's see. Jacksonville is playing out of the state, and Miami is on a bye.
Yeah, because Jacksonville might get hit.
So none of the Florida teams are playing in Florida this week, which is good.
So I'm picking Tampa Bay 21-7.
Okay.
Okay, I already said that.
All right, that's the start of the noon games. The second noon game, Washington at Baltimore.
Washington's 4-1. Baltimore is 3-2.
Boy, I'm going to have to go with Washington riding their high, even though I hate to pick against Baltimore, who really has their backs against the wall.
Yeah. They're like going across the street to play your next door neighbor, because Andover, Maryland, and Baltimore, Maryland are pretty close.
Yeah, I'm going to go with the commanders. I think they're going to keep riding their high, even though I can see Baltimore pulling this off, too.
35-32.
Wow.
I think it's going to be a high score in Nutt Tugger.
I'd like to see that.
I would, too.
I'm also picking Washington, but I'm picking 23-13, a much lower scoring game.
I think Baltimore's defense is going to step up, but they're going to have trouble scoring on Washington.
Yeah, Baltimore's defense has to step up, because they have not been looking good.
No.
All right. Next up, we have Arizona 2-3 at Green Bay 3-2.
I'm kind of surprised Green Bay's 3-2. It just seemed like they'd been playing worse than that.
Yeah. I'm going to give Green Bay the edge, because it's in Green Bay.
True.
And Arizona just had a huge high beat in San Francisco.
Yeah, they might have a letdown.
Yeah, I think they're going to have a letdown. It's going to be 24-14.
That sounds pretty reasonable.
I think I'm going to go the other way. I'm going to say I'm going to pick Arizona.
They're going to ride it.
And I think they're going to ride that win over San Fran, and I think Green Bay is...
Descending, not acing.
Yeah, they're still kind of struggling. So I'm going to go... I think Kyler Murray can probably have a decent game.
I've got a question for you about this. Do you think that Arizona has possible playoff in their mind?
I do.
That might change the whole thing right there.
Yeah. Earlier I wouldn't have said they're dreaming, but now it looks like Arizona can definitely slide right in there.
Okay. I think I agree with that too, but I'm going to keep my original pick.
I'm going to pick Arizona 28-17.
Okay.
I'm not sure how they're going to score 28 points.
Kyler Murray running.
Yeah, that's true.
I mean, they have kind of developed that a little bit now. They kind of have a way out of jams now.
Yeah.
Kyler Murray has some pretty good feet underneath him, and they've been accentuating it and figuring it out better.
As I recall, he did a lot of that during his first season.
Yeah, he did.
He did a lot of scrambling, and then they kind of got him away from that.
Were they afraid he was going to get hurt or something?
I think so, and maybe he wasn't throwing okay on the run, but I think that's not sustainable if your quarterback is getting half your rushing yards.
You're going to need four quarterbacks on your roster.
Yeah, it's just like Baltimore. They're riding high until Jackson gets another injury, which he's going to as much as he runs.
Yeah, and he doesn't run safely or smart.
He doesn't go down and slide where he needs to.
That's a big problem right there is he keeps going, trying to get that extra foot.
You see, Mahomes doesn't have that problem anymore.
No, he got that popped out of him, didn't he?
Yeah, he did. He learned his lesson.
All right. Is that about it for that?
Yeah, I don't know what else to say.
Next up, we have Indy, two and three at Tennessee, one and three.
Indy is without Richardson, but still strong enough to beat Tennessee.
Yeah, I see.
Tennessee, their coach sucks, their quarterback sucks, and all they really have is Ligeria Snead, who I feel sorry for.
Oh, I do too, man. He's probably not living life there.
He's looking over here going, shit. And it wasn't his fault either.
No, it just cost too much.
Because of the loans, we couldn't afford it.
Yeah, there's a minimum salary based on your position and years in the league.
That's like the union minimum you can pay people, and some players just don't seem to be worth that money to some teams.
And I'm not going to throw shade on it either because the NFL system works.
It does.
We got a score for Indy at Tennessee.
That's going to say about 18 to 12.
I have no faith.
I'm kind of close. I'm 25-17.
Okay.
Again, I don't know how they're going to get 25 points exactly.
There might be a fumble on the five.
Yeah, there can always be a safety or three.
I like doing that too because sometimes you hit it right on and you look like a genius.
Yeah.
How did you get 12? Oh, I just kind of figured.
You never say it's a wild guess.
You're like, oh yeah, yeah, I had this formulation and it worked.
It's the algorithm, man.
The algorithm, too, man.
All right, Houston, four and one at New England.
One and four.
I don't think there's much doubt here.
Texas, 35 to 10.
Ooh, I like that.
Oh yeah, they're going to be like, and also, oh yeah, you come back here, and this.
Then they'll chase him down and go, and also.
That year that the Bucks clobbered the Raiders in the Super Bowl.
Oh, I loved it.
The next day at work, I went up to a coworker that was a Raider lover and said,
I just heard on the radio Tampa Bay just scored again.
And he just, he went, oh, that's cold.
That's terrible, man.
He was a good sport about it.
He would have done it to you.
Yep.
That's ball-busting and it's fun.
Guys like to do that.
And you know, I'd known that guy since high school.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, we had tons of history, so we could get away with crap like that.
Yeah, yeah, you had the card, ball-busting card.
It was like, you know.
I'm going to pick Houston as well, 31-13.
We both think it's going to be a really wide score.
Yeah, I think they're going to give a what for several thousand times.
Yeah, it's going to be so much fun for them to do it in New England.
And oh, and they're going to take CJ Stroud out midway through the fourth quarter anyhow.
Oh, yeah, I would like to see that CJ Stroud coming out because they're so far ahead.
Yeah, yep.
I would like to see that.
We're risking our guy.
Yeah, that's smart, too.
I wish more teams would do that.
The Chiefs don't seem to be afraid of it, I'll tell you that, which worries me sometimes.
But anyhow, they win by two points except for last night.
Other than that, they win by one or two points.
Yeah, if Mahomes just insists on staying in, and you read Caves, I think.
But I would like to see the Chiefs do that.
If we're up two scores and there's five minutes left, get Mahomes out of there.
Yeah, yeah.
Even if he's just handing off, he could still get stepped on by one of his own linemen.
Even last night when they were like down in the ball to run timeout, he was still doing it.
Yeah.
I would have been like, go in there.
Yeah.
Went, go.
But anyhow.
Yeah.
Who knows?
I mean, there may be a lot more to it than we know as far as getting performance bonuses or improving their...
You know, I bet you there's something like that.
They're like, go ahead and do it.
There's very minimal risk in down in the ball.
Plus the sportsbooks are based on Mahomes playing the whole game, not being taken out.
That's right.
Because then we put in the sub-quarterback that nobody ever put any money on.
That has more to it than anything out there.
The sportsbooks are like, no, no, no.
So, anyhow.
Yeah.
People place bets on Mahomes.
He has to be in there playing.
Yeah.
I get it.
It could also be that it enhances their...
I hate to use this stupid catchphrase.
It enhances their brand.
It does.
For endorsements that, you know, if they play every snap they're in there at the very end
celebrating instead of the backup, they can probably get more money for the next endorsement
or whatever.
So, there's so much more to it than just the football game itself.
And it's smart to keep that in mind.
Things make much more sense when you realize it's not just a football game.
Yeah.
Good point.
All right.
Next up we have the hapless Cleveland Browns at one and four against the angry and disorganized
Philadelphia Eagles at two and two in Philly.
Since somebody has to win...
Yeah.
The Eagles, 27-14, the Eagles.
I'm going to go Eagles 20 to 10 with the extra kicker of I think there are going to be enormous
amount of hits in this game.
I think those two teams are going to try to hit each other as hard as they can to take
out their frustrations.
Yes.
They're going to be pissed.
I mean, Eagles do that anyway.
Yeah.
They're dirty anyhow.
Yeah.
I think the Browns are going to go in there and say, you know what?
We may not win.
We may not play well, but we're going to hurt you.
I think that Nick Sirianni is going to have a mystery person with a club come out.
He's going to take a page from Tonya Harding and Jeff Gillili.
He's going to Tonya Harding Watson.
Well, that could happen.
I mean, that's the only way I think Cleveland wins.
They have to have some guy with a nightstick go club the other quarterback.
But Sirianni is the type of guy that would do that.
I mean, you know, so otherwise I would say Cleveland does it.
Take his leg out.
So yeah, I'm looking at Cleveland be one in five next week.
Me too.
And I'll relish it too.
I'll revel in it.
Not relish.
I will revel in it.
Oh, you know, earlier I got this for you here.
You know, earlier I said I had to piss like a racehorse.
Yeah.
You know where the term Russian racehorse came from?
They used to accuse the Russians of cheating on the racehorse.
They gave him Lasix to make him lighter.
Oh, yeah.
So it came from somewhere.
You're right.
I looked it up.
Yeah.
And I know how Lasix got its name.
How?
Because it lasts six hours.
So they took the last six, compared it to Lasix because it lasts six hours.
Cool.
Isn't it?
Yeah.
It's easy to write when you prescribe, too.
Yeah.
All righty.
Three o'clock games.
First done up is Los Angeles Chargers at two and two at Denver three and two.
You know, I think Denver's going to fight like hell, and I think they're going to come out on top.
I do, too.
So it's going to be 27-24.
Yeah, I can see that.
I want to be a little different on the score, so I'm going to go 31-27.
All right.
Sounds good.
I get the feeling that this is going to be kind of a make or break game for Herbert as far as getting his confidence.
Not like he's going to get bad or crush his career or anything, but for his self-confidence, he needs to go into Denver,
who, you know, division rival in their home stadium, but you should be better than them.
Yes, he has not looked good.
His body language, everything looks horrible.
His footwork even looks horrible.
Yeah, yeah.
I don't know what Jim Harbaugh did.
Is it Jim or John?
Jim.
John is in Baltimore.
Yeah, okay.
Jim Harbaugh is the ex-Bears quarterback.
Okay.
Yeah.
I don't know what Jim Harbaugh exactly did when he got there.
I remember the football pundits and the announcer stuff and saying,
oh, it's going to be great, you're going to see, and even you talked about the Harbaugh-Herbert mystique or the mojo, whatever.
It's not working, apparently.
No, not so far.
At least not so far, yeah.
And whatever Harbaugh has done has made Herbert regrets.
He's not the quarterback he was last year.
I agree.
No, he doesn't have Eckler or who was the receiver?
Keenan Allen.
But still, he didn't have Keenan Allen last year.
That guy was always getting hurt anyway.
Oh, no, yeah.
He was a hell of a receiver, but man, he got hurt so often.
Yeah.
When he first came into the league, did he have Antonio Gates?
I believe he did.
Okay.
That could add something to you right there.
Yeah.
That right there will, let's say your quarterback.
That'll make you look better than you are.
I think Antonio Gates would be the type of player that raises your quarterback rating by 10.
That's a good point.
Because he had that ability to grab stuff that no one else could.
Yeah.
So that might be part of it, but anyhow, he does not look that good, and I think he's going to continue regressing.
A little interjection here about catching passes that are hard to catch.
There was a Dallas Cowboys wide receiver named Peter Gent, who was really severely disillusioned by the NFL,
and he went on to write some books, the most famous being North Dallas 40, which is made into a movie.
Yeah, I remember that one, the movie, not the book.
Yeah.
And in the book, North Dallas 40, they didn't touch on the movie, but in the book,
it's written from the point of view of Nick Nolte's character, the wide receiver,
and he is admitting to himself, late in his career, that a lot of the really bad hits he took
was going up to try to catch a pass that the quarterback had thrown,
and he didn't realize the quarterback was shaving points and trying to make it in completion.
Yeah.
But he went up and got it anyway and got cliqued for it,
and then the quarterback would have to shave those points a different way.
Now, this was written probably in 1970, and even back then, it was common knowledge that quarterbacks did that.
They shaved points by making intentional incompletions and hanging their receivers out to try.
Yeah.
So I can see that kind of thing starting to happen, is receivers would be going after these balls
that are supposed to be incompletions, but nobody told the receiver.
And he goes up and gets injured or creamed or whatever.
Because, you know, 54 years ago, this was already in a book written by an NFL player.
Yeah.
And I can definitely see why he got disillusioned, too.
Yeah.
Man, he hated Tom Landry with the pad.
You could tell because the coach he wrote in the book was just horrible.
This is just the biggest hypocrite.
Let me pour the coffee right down my face here.
Which one was we on?
That was Chargers-Denver.
You had picked 27-24, I picked 31-27, both picking Denver.
Yeah.
I think the Chargers are not looking good, and I'll think they're going to look good for a while at least.
Yeah.
You know, it's kind of iffy which three o'clock game we're going to get,
either the one we just talked about, Chargers at Denver, or the next one,
Pittsburgh 3-2 at Las Vegas 2-3.
I could watch either one of those games.
Yeah, me too.
They have a tendency to put the Raiders on.
Yeah.
So I'm going to say they're probably going to do that, but who knows?
Yeah.
Since we don't have a Chiefs game this week, it's pretty wide open.
Yeah, they've got to put somebody on.
Since there's the Hispanic community, the Raiders are big.
I think they'll just put the Raiders on, and they'll get whatever they get.
Yeah, it has the potential of being a more exciting game, I think.
Yeah, that too.
And we'll watch it.
Sure.
Yeah.
Man, who do I root for, Pittsburgh, Vegas?
Pittsburgh.
Can they both lose?
Is that a possibility?
They could tie.
How about they tie, nothing, nothing?
But they get there, and the stadium has fallen apart, so they just have to...
Forfeit?
Not forfeit the game.
They both forfeit.
Okay, that'll work.
All right.
I think we're both going to pick Pittsburgh.
I don't think there's a reason to pick the Raiders for the rest of the season.
In fact, I'm going to go on record, and I'm not going to pick the Raiders for the rest of the season.
Me too, me too.
Is O'Connell still their quarterback, even?
Yeah, Minshew got hurt.
No, they took Minshew out after that second interception.
Yeah.
And then O'Connell came in and finished that.
He was the starter last year.
Yeah, yeah.
It doesn't matter.
Either one, they're not going anywhere.
And I'm going to pick Pittsburgh, probably.
They're going to put up 27 points to 17 points.
And I don't know how they're getting at 17 points.
I'm not being as charitable.
I'm putting 30 to 10.
Okay.
Pittsburgh is going to take advantage of the fact that they're going to score,
and they're just going to run the score up to get their team feeling good about themselves.
You're probably closer than I am.
Just a feeling.
Yeah, okay.
I could see that, though.
It may just be a feeling, but I could see that.
All right, next up is Atlanta at three and two versus Dallas at three and two and Dallas.
It's weird, isn't it?
Yeah, that is weird.
Dallas has been inconsistent.
Atlanta has been winning pretty well with Kirk Cousins.
I'm going to give the edge to Dallas.
They're just – I think that Atlanta is still developing,
and I think there's enough fire behind Dallas to pull it off.
It's going to be really close, 24-23.
Oh, my gosh.
What?
Okay, now it's my turn to apologize.
Oh, what?
It's Atlanta at three and two at Carolina one and four.
Oh, scratch it.
Atlanta's not playing Dallas this week.
Okay.
That's all right.
I'm still one up on you.
Yeah.
Okay.
We're going to leave that in just to show how brain dead I can be sometimes.
It's Atlanta three and two at Carolina one and four.
My screw-ups are going to be in there, too.
I'm leaving them.
Okay, I'm going to have to go Atlanta, of course.
Yeah.
35 to 20.
I can definitely see that.
Kirk Cousins could definitely put up 35 points.
He could – man, he looks great.
I'm going to also pick Atlanta, but I'm going to go 23-10.
I can see that, too.
Yeah, Carolina is going to struggle no matter who's in quarterback this season, so their
offense is going to be inconsistent.
Okay.
So I'm going to give Carolina 10 points.
That sounds about right.
Yeah, I think you're right.
That sounds about right.
All right, now the one that was supposed to be Detroit three and one at Dallas three and
two.
That's going to be better than Atlanta-Dallas.
Detroit-Dallas.
Detroit.
And I'm going to go 21-17.
That looks pretty good.
Gosh.
I think I'm going to have to pick Dallas this year, this week.
I get it.
I think so.
It's a toss-up to me, really.
I mean – I'm going to go 24-17 Dallas.
That could be very easy.
Yeah.
I'm figuring it's going to come down to the end.
Dallas games usually do.
They usually do, yeah.
So I'm picking Dallas to score a late touchdown to take the lead, and then that'll be it.
I think that sounds perfectly doable.
It's plausible.
There we go.
It's plausible.
Yeah.
Yes.
All right, that's it for the day games.
Sunday night at 720.
One and four Cincinnati at two and three Giants.
Cincinnati.
And this is just because the Giants are Jekyll and Hyde.
Yeah.
Joe Burroughs is throwing well.
Jamar Chase is catching well.
Yeah, he is.
I don't think they're going to have an answer for that, and I think it's going to be a 35-10.
Ooh.
Yep.
I'm also going to pick Cincinnati.
They're going to go up there and get healthy on the Giants.
Yeah.
Yep.
I remember a season when everybody used to come into Kansas City and get healthy.
A one and five team would come in and just make us look stupid.
Yeah, then they'd go out, beat in their chest, going, yeah, nothing wrong here.
So I'm going to pick Cincinnati.
I'm going to go 31-17.
Sounds very doable.
Yeah.
I'm starting to think the Giants might not put up 17 points, but I'm going to go with
it.
I could see them doing that team.
It might be like 13.
Yeah.
Daniel Jones may luck out and back into something.
Yeah.
Or there might be like a fumble because Cincinnati is very-
Special teams, defense, yeah.
They're prone to fumbling.
Yeah.
So.
Good point.
All right, and then the Monday night game, 3-2 Buffalo at the 2-3 Jets.
Division game.
I know, and you know what?
Somewhere, somehow, but Aaron Rodgers might be hurt.
It's tough to tell.
I'm going to go with Aaron Rodgers.
I think Buffalo is going to continue their losing streak.
I think that Aaron Rodgers is a do-or-die situation, and he sees the season slipping
away from him.
Yeah.
I think he's got enough left in him, and he's going to somehow will that team and to beat
him barely.
And it's going to be probably 28, 24.
Wow.
This is difficult.
Mm-hmm.
Something that first popped into mind was sometimes quarterbacks play to help save their
head coach's job.
Aaron Rodgers doesn't care.
You know, he might have done that in Green Bay, but in the Jets, he doesn't care.
Now you got me worried on my pick.
All right.
But I think Buffalo is demoralized and under the.
Shook up.
Yeah, and under the big lights on a national stage on Monday night football in a hostile
environment, I think Buffalo is going to crumble.
You know, they were touted as the best team in football until three weeks ago.
Yeah.
They were beating everybody by far.
The defense is keeping everybody low scoring, usually about 10 or under, and they were scoring
30 points.
Everyone was like, well, not at first, but then they got to where they scored really
heavily.
Yeah.
The last couple of games, they just fucking fell apart.
They look horrible.
So I think you're right.
I think they're questioning themselves.
Yeah.
So I'm picking a really close score, 23, 21.
I think I just get this impression that the Jets are going to take the early lead and
they're never going to give it up.
I think that Buffalo is going to be trying to come back from behind all game long, and
it's just not going to work.
I can see that happening.
Yeah.
I think there is.
I think it looks like a crisis of faith in Buffalo right now.
Josh Allen is like, what the hell is going on?
Why isn't this working?
Yep.
So that will be a fun game to watch Monday night.
I'm looking forward to that one.
A couple of good old AFL teams.
I like it.
Okay.
So that's it for the week six schedule coming up.
We got some differences, so we won't necessarily kev them out with the exact same.
Let's face it, we're both going to miss eight again probably.
Let's make sure I got all 14 games this day.
Yeah.
That was kind of embarrassing.
This whole, if you went by that, this whole season has been embarrassing to both of us.
Oh yeah.
Yep.
Well, you want to go into bull points?
Yes.
All right.
If there were only one NFL game this year, who would be in it?
Like, there's only going to play one game and it's like, I don't know, the middle of
the season, and you have to have one team facing another team that you think is probably
the best teams?
Yeah.
Who would be in this championship game of one game?
I'm going to immediately say the Chiefs are going to be in it.
Yeah, me too.
If nothing else is because there's an equal number of people that love the Chiefs and
hate the Chiefs, which guarantees you're going to get an active participating audience
for that game.
As much people hate the Chiefs now, they sure do get a lot of ratings.
Yes, they do.
And it's because of number 15 and 87.
Yep.
And his girlfriend.
But who would they play?
I got one right off, Washington.
Yeah, yeah.
I would love to see that.
That would be a good quarterback duel.
Young against old.
Yeah.
I mean, not like old.
Not old, but he's what, 28?
Yeah, yeah.
A guy that's won three Super Bowls, been to four.
And this young guy that might see some.
Yeah.
Yeah, I could, yeah, that Chiefs and Commanders would be a good one.
Yeah.
Yeah, besides that, I think the Chiefs would win it.
Yeah.
Experience.
Yeah.
Then if it wasn't that, I would like to see San Francisco again because those two teams
play.
They do.
Oh, man, I tell you.
They lay it all out.
They don't hold back.
Yeah, people viewed it as boring.
I viewed it as one hell of a chess game.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I mean, on every level, it was a game.
It was a counter move, a move, a counter move, a move.
And I could see for people who aren't really, you know, watching every play and don't have
a long history of watching football, they could watch it and say, it's kind of boring.
I could see that too.
Beneath the surface, you know, we could see things going on and, you know, counter moves
and probes.
Yeah, but we've been into football even when the Chiefs were horrible.
Yeah, that's true.
So it doesn't matter.
Yeah.
Yeah, I remember you used to watch the Chiefs, you know, stink it up and lose horribly.
And then I'd go watch another game and watch teams play well.
Yeah, I know.
I remember that too.
And a lot of times, about, oh, I've got to be real about it, about halfway through the
second quarter, I'm like, oh, I'm going to go do yard work.
Yeah.
So, yeah, because the weather traditionally around this time is great.
Yeah.
Yeah, like, yeah, I'm just going to go do yard work, screw it.
So, next one.
Oh, did you go with Washington or did you come with?
I hadn't come up with a team.
If I was going to come up with one other than Washington, I'd say San Francisco, your second
choice.
Yeah, I think it's pretty clear cut.
Yeah.
So, the win.
Especially with recent history.
Yeah.
I want to see Young against established, so I'm going to go with Washington and the Chiefs.
Yeah.
So, all right, the next one.
Has NFL gotten better at holding and pass interference calls?
Yeah, I think they have.
I have it.
Yeah, I do too.
A little bit.
Yeah.
They missed a couple last night for both teams, not just one team.
Yeah.
So, you know, people that hate the Chiefs are going to go, yeah, they're the one obvious
one.
No, there were two or three obvious ones and a couple of them were against the opposition.
Yeah.
I saw Joann Taylor get away with at least one false start that they didn't call.
I did too.
Yep.
I saw some holding that they didn't call.
But, you know, these were all ways to manage the game.
I agree.
You know, if someone wants the game to go a certain way, stay close, whatever, those
are ways you can manage the game by officials' judgment calls that you can never concretely
say one way or the other.
I think there's a fine line between egregious holding and holding.
And I think the referees pretty much have that figured out now.
Yeah.
And that may be how the NFL has compensated for the home style quarterbacks.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's why.
Because they don't want blowout games.
They don't want games that are not in doubt from the first quarter on.
Because you go do something else.
Yeah.
You leave the stadium, you turn the TV off, etc.
They want games that are in doubt the whole way.
I agree.
If they can possibly do it, that's what they want.
Yeah.
I agree.
So I had a bullet point.
Oh, yeah.
Do you think the Washington commanders will ever change their name again?
And if so, to what?
Not the Bullets.
No.
They're going to change their name.
Remember, they're a basketball team because presidents get assassinated like, we can't
call them the Bullets anymore.
Plus the inner city violence.
And that too.
Yeah.
All of it.
I think they will.
And I think they will go with like an animal name.
Yeah, I think so too.
They haven't had an animal name in their history.
Yeah, I think you're going to get, yeah, I don't know.
The prairie dogs.
Who knows.
You know what I would love to see?
What?
The Washington Bulldogs.
Oh, that would be nice.
No NFL team in recent memory has had the name Bulldog.
No.
I think I agree.
And it's an Austin name.
And I don't think anyone owns it.
Like the Washington Bulldogs.
Yeah, and that's another reason too.
Or call them the DC Bulldogs.
Yeah, the DC Bulldogs.
I think sounds great.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah, I like that question.
Yeah, I think it will get changed again.
I think commanders are just like kind of a, we're just going to go with the name Bulldogs.
We're just going to go with this right now, although they're not saying it.
It's a bridge name.
Yeah.
Until they figure out what they really want to be.
Now, their current team colors really don't work out with Bulldogs, but they don't work
out with commanders or the former name Redskins either.
No.
So that might not be an issue.
You can have the color coordination with a different color Bulldog maybe.
Well, that's true.
They could tone the red down to be more brownish, and then they could pale out the yellow into
something a little more light.
And then have the Bulldog in the middle of it or whatever they want to go with.
Yeah.
Have a red Bulldog with a gold collar.
Yeah, that'd be cool.
Is it?
Well, they're kind of burgundy and gold, I think they call it.
So that could work.
That could definitely work to be the Washington or the DC Bulldogs.
I think, remember those wigs that they used to wear in the colonial days?
I think the Washington wigs.
That's it right there.
And you know why they wore those wigs?
Yeah, because they, mites, right?
Yeah, they're losing their hair to lice and poor diet and syphilis.
Yeah, yeah.
And in order to make people think they didn't have syphilis, they wanted a full head of
hair because one of the side effects of syphilis is losing your hair.
And you get sores on your face, and that's why they would put all that white powder on
their face to cover their syphilis sore, sores.
These are our founding fathers.
This is before any antibiotics.
So there you go.
Oh my gosh.
Yeah.
All right.
At what point would you put Bryce Young back in the starter position?
Mid-season.
Yeah.
I would say mid-season, unless you suddenly hit a hot streak and you're on like a five
game win streak or something.
Sounds good.
I'd say, you know, switch back.
And you better be working on Bryce Young in the meantime.
Tell him now, hey, week eight, you're going back in.
Week nine, you're going back in.
So let's work towards that.
Get ready.
Tell me what you need to be prepared to go back in to be the starter on week nine.
I like it.
I think that could definitely work.
You know, if they hold him out all season, then they might as well trade him.
Yeah.
I really think so.
Yeah, you know, I think you're right.
I think at this point, if he doesn't work out, you trade him and then you just scrap
it all again because, I mean, why would you want a quarterback that's developing and is
quite a ways off and then just raise him around a so-so team?
Yeah, because then your quarterback is going to have to get used to losing and losing badly
until you build the team up.
That's not a good atmosphere.
No, it isn't.
Well, okay.
Would the Chiefs benefit from trading for another wide receiver at this point?
Yeah, I think they would.
Yeah.
Right, as we said, right tackle, no, because you can't work one of those in midseason.
No.
But wide receiver, yeah.
They could, I think anybody of, I mean, it doesn't have to be Devontae Adams type quality,
but someone like Juju or who else?
I mean, Xavier wore these too fast.
You can't get another one of him.
No.
But like Hardman.
Hardman, yeah, another Hardman.
Hardman is kind of your middle of the pack, but he does really well.
He's not all that big.
He was supposed to be the replacement for Tyreek Hill.
Yeah, then they found out that he wasn't in the way.
Not all that Tyreek-y.
No, no.
But yeah, get someone in who can be a reliable third receiver, slot receiver.
Yeah, and also insurance.
You have to have someone that can go in there that knows the system and can do somewhat.
Yeah.
You can't just like take someone that doesn't know anything about the system, just throw them in there.
Right.
And they're still not telling us what's going on with the She-Rice.
I don't know if that's good or bad.
It sounds bad.
It sounds like it's bad, but they're hoping miracle upon miracle that something's going to make it so he doesn't lose this season.
I think that's going to try.
I wonder why they're keeping it from everybody though.
They don't seem like they have any benefit.
I think they're just really hoping that, you know, we don't want to come out and say he's going to miss the season and then later say, oh, wait, he's coming back.
So they're saying nothing until some, you know, long shot pans out and if it doesn't pan out for the Chiefs, then they'll say, oh, yeah, injured reserve.
Gotcha.
But there's some European treatment over there that's not legal over here that they're counting on to bring them back before the end of the season or at least by playoffs.
That could be.
Playoffs.
We're going to have to record that so you can just like insert it every time.
Jim Moore going, playoffs.
Playoffs.
What does Mike McCarthy have to do to keep his job?
I don't think there's anything he can do.
I don't either.
Unless winning the Super Bowl.
I think shy of that.
I think he's going.
Well, that's right.
Yeah.
If he wins the Super Bowl, he would keep his job for one more season.
What about if he gets to the Super Bowl?
No.
I agree.
If he gets there and loses, then that's even more reason to dump him.
Yeah.
He's right there and you could put Kumdua on it.
Yeah.
So yeah, winning the Super Bowl, that's got to be the only choice to keep his job.
Yeah.
I think in order for him to win though, I think he's in a bad situation.
I don't think Dak Prescott was or ever was, is or ever was the guy.
Yeah.
They always saw something more in him than the rest of us did.
No, I know.
I mean.
Yeah, the thing is, I mean his colleagues' stats were good, but I mean he just did.
I mean, you could say the same thing about Mahomes, about he never won or nothing like
that, but I mean Mahomes was exceptional on everything.
Yeah.
And everyone was all concerned about his footwork, so I get that.
Yeah.
Dak I just didn't really get.
And then to put him, insert him as the guy was even dumber.
Yeah.
There's a certain amount of having your reputation rest on him, like hey, we drafted him, we're
paying him a bunch, he's got to be the guy, so we're going to say he's the guy.
Yeah.
At a certain point you've got to face realities like is this really working for us?
Yeah.
How often can they sell it to the Cowboys fan that Dak is going to do it this year?
I agree.
Just on a side note, I was trying to remember if Dallas has ever had a successful starting
black quarterback or if Dak is the first.
I think Dak's the first, and I could think of.
Yeah, I'm trying to remember any black quarterbacks for Dallas.
Well, I think Mahomes might be the first for the Chiefs.
Warren Moon was okay.
Oh, wait a minute, Warren Moon.
I forget that, he wasn't.
Okay.
Yeah.
But I don't think Dallas has ever had a black quarterback who wasn't the guy.
No.
So this is new territory for them.
I don't know if that's anything to do with it, but I thought just bring it up.
Because Philly had Randall Cunningham way back in the day.
Yeah.
Minnesota had Dante Culpepper that Rush Limbaugh hated for some weird reason.
I can't remember what that was about.
It wasn't just Rush Limbaugh, there was even some sports guys on some of the sports channels
who were trying to say that Dante Culpepper just doesn't have what it takes.
They started that right off the bat, they did not like him.
And it seemed to be kind of a holdover of that attitude of black quarterbacks aren't
smart enough to beat out the white quarterbacks.
I think it was kind of a holdover from that.
And to think about it, another black quarterback that got a lot of grief was Donovan McNabb.
Yes.
Philly hated him.
They were booed when they picked him.
Steve McNair was very popular in Tennessee.
He did very well, too.
Actually, he started in Houston when they were the Houston Oilers.
Yeah, that's right.
And then he moved with them to Tennessee.
The only thing is he wasn't very good with girlfriends.
No, he picked a real loser.
Yeah.
Okay, rookie of the year to this point.
Hmm.
Yeah, she was quite a pistol.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Can't say too soon.
It's been years.
Yeah, yeah.
Rook of the year, I'd say Jaden Daniels.
Yes.
From Washington.
Yeah, I think it's easy to see.
Yeah.
I don't see another one out there that's even close.
No.
Not yet, anyway.
Jaden Daniels by far.
He's a comeback player of the year, as I'm thinking Kareem Huntsman, the lead right there.
Yeah.
Worthy, if he continues to progress, he is a not really distant second,
but definitely a second, a firm second.
He could get rookie of the year.
He could.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Or offensive rookie of the year.
Offensive rookie of the year.
We'll see how that pans out because Worthy is the only other guy,
so he's really doing anything.
It really looks.
But he's going to have to get more yards per game to do that.
Yeah, yeah.
So anyhow, but yeah, Kareem Hunt is a comeback player of the year without a doubt.
As a matter of fact, when you come back and you're looking better than Pacheco.
Yeah.
And Pacheco looked great.
He did.
So anyhow, yeah.
Whatever he's doing, I hope he continues to do it because it's working.
Yeah.
All right.
I don't think, did Damar Hamlin when come back player of the year, when he came back?
I don't think he did.
I think he got snubbed.
No, he got snubbed.
I can't remember to who.
But you know, I think the thinking was he didn't have an injury.
His heart stopped.
Yeah, yeah.
And then they restarted it.
That wasn't considered.
That wasn't considered like battling back from an injury.
There wasn't any rehab.
Even though it happened on the field.
Yeah.
I read up on that.
It's the, you know, you're familiar with the heartbeat, you know, the squiggle that goes
up and down.
Yeah.
They named those bumps P, Q, R, S, and T.
So there's P wave, Q wave, R wave, S wave, and a T wave.
And the T wave's at the end, and that's basically when the heart resets itself and gets ready
for the next heartbeat.
And there's a certain point during the T wave that if you hit someone in the chest hard
enough, their heart will go into ventricular fibrillation.
Where the ventricles are just going blap, blap, blap, blap, blap, blap, blap, and no
heart, no blood's going anywhere.
Uh-huh.
And it's incredibly rare.
Otherwise, it would be happening all the time.
Because it could happen to any player at any time, getting hit in the chest.
It's happened once or twice in the NFL.
It happens a little more in high school football, because there are way more high school players
than there are in the NFL.
Absolutely.
So that's the thing.
It's not like there was something wrong with him.
It's not like he was at any greater risk.
It's just, it was just a freak coincidence.
Yeah.
So I think they were kind of thinking, you know what, that's not really something to
come back from.
Yeah.
And the fact is, I don't even know if they wanted to rehash it again.
He did die several times.
And it took him a lot.
He almost was not brought back.
Yeah, they were having difficulty reestablishing that heart rhythm.
Usually it's not a problem.
You shock him, and then you know, there he is.
But for him, I think it was pretty difficult to reestablish that rhythm.
I think they wanted that to lie there and be there, and that's it.
And I think that's another reason.
I think it probably was discussed, and they said, no, leave it alone.
Plus, it was a very scary thing, and they didn't want to remind the fans about the very
scary injury.
That's part of what I'm talking about.
Yeah, they want to leave it alone.
Yeah, if it's like a blow out a knee, or you break your arm, or something, people understand
that.
And then you come back, people are like, okay, but that, yeah.
He had his heart stopped, and he died on the field.
But yeah, NFL doesn't want to remind anyone that that happened.
Yeah, I mean, he was dead for what?
I mean, did they say like maybe two minutes or something?
I think that was how long it took to actually get his rhythm heart beat back.
Officially, you know, like heart not beating.
It was a while.
Yeah, it was a while.
And traditionally, that leaves some sort of damage somewhere, whether it be brain or something,
organ of some sort.
But no, he was fine.
He's playing.
I want to know if he had a near-death experience.
I wanted to know that too.
What did you see?
What did you hear?
I can't find anything on that at all.
I really wanted to know.
He probably hasn't shared that with anybody.
I've got a cough here.
I know a guy.
I'm done.
I know a guy that had happened to him.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, I worked with him very closely for years.
And it was just an allergic reaction that almost killed him.
Wow.
Anyhow, he was going to the hospital over the allergic reaction.
But then they gave him something that he had an allergic reaction to again.
So he doubled down on it, them not knowing.
You know, he didn't have much of a medical history.
That's so rough on your body.
Yeah.
He said he remembered nothing, but he talked to one of the experts,
the near-death experts, and they said to keep a pen and paper next to your bed.
You're going to remember stuff, but you're not going to remember it
when you wake up officially in the morning.
Yeah.
You're going to jot them down as soon as you remember it.
You're going to have clues to what happened.
That's a good idea.
Yeah.
But he didn't want to talk about it.
Yeah.
And some of the things you see probably may not be all that pleasant.
Or it may bring up really painful things from the past.
So yeah, it's not all just happiness and sunshine.
I think with his, that probably has something to play
because he did not want to talk about it, and I left him alone.
Yeah.
It's a trap to presume that everybody's got the same happy memories about things.
Not everybody celebrates Father's Day because not everybody has a nice dad.
Yeah, that's right.
And on and on like that.
So most of the people it fits, but you've got to watch out for the ones that's like,
yeah, that's the norm, but yeah, it wasn't that for me.
Yeah.
I had a near-death experience and it was ugly.
Yeah.
Yeah, I don't know if his was ugly or just stuff he didn't want to talk about,
but there was something to it, so I left him alone.
Because you've got to figure some of these people who are about to die,
some of them have got to be going to hell.
Yeah.
They can't all be seeing heaven and their lost loved ones.
Well, I agree there's got to be, yeah.
Unless there's no hell and we're all going there.
So some of them have got to have, you know, hey, well, I saw Satan
and he was sticking his pitchfork into my grandma.
Yeah.
You know, somebody's got to see that.
Granny, granny, granny.
You're next, bitch.
Yep.
You're right.
Yeah.
You think if Trump had a near-death experience, he'd see the pearly gates?
I think he'd see columns of flame.
I think he'd smell sulfur.
Yeah, but I've got to play devil's advocate.
I don't see one of them seeing the gates of heaven.
Yeah.
Anyone involved?
None of them.
Not if you're an elected politician.
Yeah.
You sold your soul long ago if you're an elected politician.
The reason I do that is because I claim no sight.
Yeah.
I just...
I take the position of I believe every bad thing that is said about every candidate.
Me too.
Because if one side's going to say something bad, I'll go ahead and believe it
because then I'm going to believe the bad thing about their candidate.
Exactly.
So I will happily listen to every bad thing about every candidate and believe it.
And it's pretty sad that when we come to this and we go,
yeah, well, who do I vote for because they're all like crooked people?
Who do I think of these crooked people who would actually do a little bit better leading the country?
And that's it.
You can't think this guy's definitively better.
Yeah.
It's like asking someone, do you want me to beat you with a nine iron
or do you want me to beat you with a sandwich?
Yeah.
Which way do you want beat?
It's like, can I vote none?
I don't want to get beat anyway.
I just want to draw a penis on the ballot.
Just fucking turn it in.
So, okay.
Go ahead.
Should the Eagles be looking for a new head coach or quarterback?
Or both?
I'm going to say head coach.
I think Jaylen Hurts can be salvaged.
I think so too.
But the head coach, I think, has got to go.
Gosh, I think if the Eagles made a run and then just melted down the stretch and collapsed,
that would probably get their head coach gone.
I think so, yeah.
Yeah.
I think Sirianni has not viewed that favorably anyhow
because of a lot of different things that we talked about in the past, issues.
I can't even remember where he came from, what his credentials are.
Where has he coached before?
That's a good question.
Yeah.
Yeah, I don't...
Because they had to be a reason why they decided, hey, this is our guy, we want to hire him.
Yeah.
Nick Sirianni, career.
I think he's an offensive coordinator at work, too, aren't you?
So, let's take a look here.
The Giants, maybe?
He previously served as offensive coordinator for the Colts from 2018 to 2020.
Oh, the Colts.
Okay.
And as a coach of the Chargers from 2013 to, I guess, 2017.
A coach, not head coach.
A coach.
So, he's never been... I don't think he's been a head coach anywhere
unless it was in college or high school.
Okay.
Yeah, I think Jaylen Hurts has still got a lot to do in this league.
Yeah, I got to stand up because of my back.
I'm not getting ready to leave.
But Nick Sirianni, I think, is bad for Jaylen Hurts' career.
He's just bad for Philly.
Yeah, I agree.
I think that Hurts is digressing.
And also, another thing that's beyond Sirianni's control is Jason Kelsey leaving.
Yes.
That made a big difference.
It did.
Jason Kelsey was at... he was at vulgar in the lane.
Yes.
Their running game isn't the same and their blocking isn't the same.
That quarterback sneak that Philly did, whether the butt blast or the...
Yeah, the push is what I called it.
The ass bang or whatever they called it.
Yeah, where they pushed the guy in front of him.
Yeah.
Yeah, the guy with the ass or the guy in front of him and grab and hang on.
Oh, anyway.
I'm trying to make it as homoerotic as possible.
Yeah, you have to.
This is an event you have to.
So yeah, their quarterback sneak up the middle depended on Jason Kelsey because they're not doing it at all now.
No, they can't.
It's the one.
Whoever his replacement was, they did not do well.
No.
Because they have no push.
They can't do it.
Yeah.
And whoever's pushing Kelsey from behind did a good job.
Yeah.
And also, actually, it's kind of become the norm.
I see the Chiefs doing it now, too.
I see a lot of teams doing it.
Actually, it's brilliant if you think about it.
It's like we're not going to try to out trick you.
We're just going to push our guy past you.
And I've looked at the rules on this and you can push a player from behind.
Now, you can't pick him up and throw him and you can't be in front of him pulling him.
That's right because the Chiefs got a penalty a few games ago because they picked him up
and put him over.
And I was like thinking, what a bullshit call.
I guess it is.
Yeah.
He's the ball carrier.
You can't carry the ball carrier.
Okay.
And you can't pull him from in front.
I think it's against Cincinnati.
I think so, yeah.
And they didn't get the first down as a result.
So, anyhow.
So yeah, the push from behind, it's like, hell use it as long as it's not going to injure anybody.
Yeah, I mean as long as the big guy doesn't get offended, you know, turn around and punch
it.
Yeah.
So anyhow, I wouldn't want Jason Kelsey mad at me.
Oh, that reminds me of the bullet point.
Oh, okay.
Oh, go ahead.
Okay.
It's become a lot more popular recently to try to punch the ball out instead of tackle.
Yes.
And I have seen a number of cases where the defender will come up and just start throwing
punches and miss the ball and hit the player in the arm and the ribs and the thigh, wherever.
And no flag is ever thrown because they figure, oh, it's not, he's not trying to punch the
guy.
He's just trying to punch the ball out and he missed.
So, here's my bullet point.
Should NFL players just start lining up and throwing fists at the ball carrier when he
comes near and just everybody try to punch him and say, oops, I missed.
I punched him right in the nuts.
Oops, I missed.
Because they're not calling it.
And you can say, hey, I was trying to punch the ball, but he moved or I moved or I missed
or whatever.
Just forget tackling.
Just start throwing punches.
I've already got a theory.
Yeah.
The reason nobody cares about this is because it doesn't work out, man.
The guy misses a tackle.
Yeah.
And he runs into the end zone.
They think they're going to get the ball back, but they don't.
It's false hope.
And the guy carrying the ball knows this.
He's holding the ball exactly on the opposite side.
He's cuddling it.
He's cradling it.
And he knows.
He's like, the ball's not getting away from me.
Let him punch all he wants.
I know he's there.
So, he might get hit a couple of times, collateral damage.
He's going to get hit anyhow.
He has the pads on.
Yeah.
They want it to keep going on.
No one's complaining.
They want it to keep going on.
I'm waiting.
I hope this happens.
You picture who's a popular running man in league wide.
Let's see.
What's his name?
Yeah, well, I'll go with the Chief, okay?
Let's say Pacheco.
Yeah.
Or let's say Ezekiel Elliott.
Okay.
He's pretty popular.
Imagine the Cowboys are playing the Raiders.
And Ezekiel Elliott gets the ball.
He runs through the line.
And here are four Raiders players who just start running down the field with them.
Nobody's trying to tackle him.
Nobody's stopping him.
So, the play continues.
And all four of them are just throwing punches.
Just relentless throwing, punch after punch after punch, and not even trying to tackle.
The NFL would have to do something at that point.
It might get to that too.
Otherwise, it's roller derby.
Well, all it's going to take is one person thinking they hit him wrong.
And it's going to be on.
Yeah.
Or somebody throwing a punch and breaking their hand, and they're out for six weeks.
Yeah, I agree.
You know, I'm really curious to see how this plays out.
But they're letting it happen so often.
It's just you're throwing punches in a football game.
And it's somehow okay.
Well, he punched the ball out.
It's cool.
Well, they didn't ever used to do that.
Football is still cool.
Okay, right now the benefit is still for the players is still over anything else.
You're not hearing anything about it because they want these guys to swing and miss at the ball.
Yeah.
So.
I just thought it was interesting to see where this all goes.
Every time I see, you know, here's our – it used to be if you saw somebody throwing a punch,
flags were coming out no matter what it was.
Yeah, that's right.
Now all of a sudden they have to, oh, what kind of punch was it?
Well, yeah, yeah, and that's a great point is they've got to go, hey, was he trying to hit the ball
or did he do it on purpose?
Oh, he's trying to hit the ball.
Okay, nothing to see here.
Then they go on.
The thing against me is not even the flag is thrown.
Yeah.
Not even one person, not even one official question.
And I've never heard the TV announcers, the play-by-play or the color guy,
say anything about all these punches landing on players' rib cages, their backs, their arms,
their legs, whatever.
They're getting punched as hard as the guy can throw a punch.
And it's just like not even considered, no one even mentions it.
It's weird.
Right now the benefit is outweighing the negative.
I see, yeah, I can see that.
But if it ever gets to be different where it becomes a punching match,
then you're going to see him do something differently.
Like some guy misses and gets a guy in the nuts, and he may know that he didn't mean to,
but still he's going to be mad and he's going to take a shot back.
Yeah.
The guy taking the shot back will get the penalty.
He will.
So that's another deterrent too.
It's like, well, if I hit him back, I'm going to get a penalty.
And he missed me and I'm running.
It could be a mess.
It could turn into a big fat mess if the NFL doesn't handle it correctly.
What it's going to take is a rivalry.
It's going to take a really deep-seated hatred.
Yeah.
And then somebody gets like the wind knocked out of them
or they put out the rest of the game because they got punched so hard.
Yeah.
And then people say, wait a minute, we're allowing punching now?
Depends on how you define it and how you look at it.
So yeah.
Is Trevor Lawrence officially a bust now?
I'll say no.
I think he can be an okay quarterback.
A bust would be kind of like you've got to get him off your team
and get something for him if you can.
So I'm going to say no.
I think he can be a serviceable quarterback.
But I think he's ripe to lose his starting job.
I agree.
I think he isn't a bust either.
Yeah.
But I think that, like you said, it's going to take the right system
and the right coach to make him that quarterback.
And it's not Doug Peterson.
No, no.
He won the one game and he thinks he's safe for at least a week.
That's all he has.
I bet you that's all he's looking at it too.
He's like, I was still the starter.
And plus, they can't fire him after a win.
So he's going to have to lose again.
Yeah, that's right.
He's going to have to lose again.
And it's got to be pretty bad too.
It's got to be ugly.
He's got to throw like four picks and start a fight because he's so angry.
Yeah.
And he goes over to Doug Peterson.
He starts screaming in his face.
Yeah.
And then there'll be the benching.
All right.
And finally, Doug Peterson, worthy of another head coaching job or not?
Not in the NFL.
No, I agree.
I think he can do fine at a college team that is not necessarily a major college institution,
not a major team.
But he could go to like North Dakota State and probably have success.
He could go to like Missouri Valley State or something like that.
But I think his time in the limelight at the big program, not even done.
I think so too.
He's not going to get back with the Chiefs because he's not going to do that.
He's not going to digress that much.
Because he's been a head coach and he won a Super Bowl as a head coach.
He's not even entertaining that thought.
So he's going to have to be a head coach somewhere else.
And I think, like you said, it's going to be on the college level and maybe not necessarily Division I.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's tough for him now because he's shown that this is all you're going to get.
He's not building.
He's not getting better.
It's like he's peaked.
That's right.
And this is all you're going to get.
So he's only going to find a job where the person he is now is all they need.
I agree.
And that's not many places.
I agree.
Yeah.
That's all the bullet points.
Do you want to go into the top 10 worst commentators and analysts?
Oh, that sounds awesome.
I've been looking forward to this.
It's good.
I read a little bit of it just to kind of catch me up.
Number 10, they deem Stephen A. Smith as number 10.
He comes out with some stuff.
Definitely.
He really does.
Stephen A. Smith, NBA analyst, CSPN.
He said, last night was a long night of NBA action.
You know that it's looming like a girl with linebacker shoulders waiting for you outside the classroom
at your last class of the day.
A girl with linebacker shoulders?
Waiting for you.
He's insinuating like the girl can't get another, she's trying to like grab you and.
Yeah, was he saying that's your girlfriend waiting for you or is she saying that some like very strong groupie type girl is going to beat you up?
Yeah, I think it's like a groupie.
This girl's going to try to manhandle me, I guess.
That really doesn't make a lot of sense.
I wonder what he was trying to say.
He goes on, he goes on.
They are at some point going to do Stephen A. Smith and you'll be subject to listen to his nasally voice make outlandish judgments about anything from the state of the game to who shouldn't be tweeting.
So, okay, the first part of it I couldn't understand the second part he's making parody of himself.
Yeah.
Odd.
Yeah, really, first part of it threw it off so bad, whatever he meant he missed it so bad, it didn't matter what he recovered from.
Yeah, no.
That was just done.
Clone glitching.
Number nine.
What'd you call it?
Clone glitching.
He's a replacement clone.
Yeah, yeah, and he's like that, that, that.
He was probably getting an update from Skynet when he said that.
And he got the, he got the words and names mixed up.
Yes.
It's like in that movie I, Robot when the robots were getting an update their little light would turn red.
Oh yeah, yeah.
That was Stephen A. Smith.
The linebacker was in another sentence and the girl was in another sentence and he got to jump it up.
Yeah, yeah.
Number nine is Marcus Allen.
Remember him?
Oh my gosh, he never had much to say, did he?
If it was, it was surly.
He could play, but yeah, good thing he's not a broadcaster.
Yes.
Marcus Allen, college football analyst, Fox Sports Net.
A great running back in both college and the NFL, Marcus should have perhaps kept his craft reserved to his talent.
But behind a microphone not being one of them, his non-invigorating, like you said, elitist attitude would be, this is not him saying this of course, would be enough in itself to get him ranked on the list.
But it is one incident in particular that landed the Heisman winner on this list.
Can't wait.
Yeah.
I had to do the pre so you know.
Okay.
During an in-between game segment of the 2011 season analyzing who should be playing for the BCS National Championship, Allen's co-host, Kevin Fraser, asked who should play against number one LSU.
Fraser suggested that the country did not want to see a game between two SEC schools and that Oklahoma State or Stanford would be a great matchup.
Marcus was quick to unemotional with his response that it should be the two top ranked teams, LSU and Alabama.
When Fraser proposed to Allen that the game might be frowned upon by fans, Marcus brought up that he was the analyst for a reason.
And then asked Fraser if he'd ever been, oh damn it, I knew I was going to do this, if he'd ever won a Heisman trophy.
Wow.
What followed was several seconds of uncomfortable silence.
Fraser gathered his wits and attempted to move on.
That was.
That's.
Snobbery like we're saying.
That's super immature.
Why do you think I'm an analyst?
Have you ever won a Heisman?
I'm really embarrassed for him now.
Yeah.
Oh my gosh.
Yep.
This one I'm not going to read the preface of what they say.
Okay.
This is number eight Bill Walton.
Famous basketball player.
And I remember he wasn't the best.
Okay.
Some of Bill's mangled quotes include this.
If Eric Patlosky continues playing at this level, he's going to replace Jerry West on the NBA logo.
That's not.
Yeah.
You got it right.
Who?
That's not even who's the logo.
No, I know.
What is it?
Do you think it changes every year?
I guess.
Oh, wow.
That was like the time Conrad Dobler.
Oh, God.
Was doing a sports talk in KC.
He was moving.
They were talking about the NBA draft coming up, which only has two rounds.
And somebody called in and asked where he thought a certain player would go.
And he said, oh, probably third round or lower.
It's like, dude, research your job.
Don Furchin was better than him.
Yeah.
And that's not.
That's not saying a lot.
No, it isn't.
The next quote, John Stockton is one of the true marvels.
Not just a basketball, basketball, but in America, but in the history of Western civilization.
In the history of.
Yes, a Western civilization.
Oh, my God.
This is entertainment.
This is not even really sports.
It's entertainment.
Yeah.
It's like you don't know where people get this from.
Marcus Allen was such a snide.
What would you call it?
Arrogant response.
Yeah.
And then a lot of them were just dumb like this one right here.
It's like they're trying to kiss their careers ass and try to make everyone think that it's super important.
Yeah.
Next one on the bill that Bill Walton said, Amari Studemeier, winner of the genetic lottery.
That's a pretty insulting thing to say.
Exactly.
Discounting all of the effort, practice, the drive to say, oh, he was born that way.
Studemeier, I would have went up there and Will Smithed him.
No kidding.
Keep my name out of your mouth, bitch.
Oh, you mentioned Howard Stern earlier.
I saw a photo of him all dressed up for one of Diddy's white parties.
Yeah.
Of course.
Not everybody who went to Diddy's white parties stuck around for the big sex orgy afterwards, but a lot of them did.
Chances are he knew something about it.
Yeah.
I mean, Ashton Kutcher.
Allegedly.
Yeah.
Ashton Kutcher has admitted he's been to some of those freaky parties and he just said, I can't talk about it.
Oh, boy.
I'm just saying everybody, anybody who is photographed wearing all white standing next to P. Diddy is going to really regret it.
Because you're under suspicion.
Yeah.
I'm for the prosecutor.
I mean, of course I should be, but here's why I'm saying this.
He wants to get anyone that knew about it and was complacent did not tell, knew about it and hid information.
He wants to go after all of them and I agree with him 100%.
Yeah.
If you know something like this about somebody, I don't care who they are, you report it.
50 Cent has been really on top of this.
He's hated Diddy for years and he's been gathering information on Diddy for years.
And he already has a documentary out on Netflix called Did He Do It?
I would have said, isn't a lot about, about Tupac's murder?
I think so.
I haven't watched it yet.
Yeah, I think some of it was about that because they linked it to Diddy, I guess.
Yeah, he's long been suspected as having something to do with it.
Yeah.
So.
We will see what happens.
Yeah, we will.
OK, I'm going to go ahead and say the preface to this because it's about Dennis Miller and it's really good.
The move was a train wreck from the start.
The real victim as a situation was veteran announcer Al Michaels.
We had to endure the half-hearted stick of the guy who was totally washed up in the comedic scene.
Yeah, that was so stupid.
Yeah, I mean, that's all true and it gives you kind of the just of what's going to come up here.
If you remember Dennis Miller, he tried to be intellectual.
Yeah, he was trying to be Jon Stewart before there was Jon Stewart.
Yeah, but he couldn't do it.
Failed miserably.
Yeah, he could not connect the dots.
No.
He'd say something and it wouldn't make sense intellectually or towards football.
Yeah.
Miller's relaxed and know-it-all attitude was enough to make anyone just want to pull their hair out.
I oftentimes wondered if Miller was more concerned about the game or which local bar was going to try and woo some 20-year-old girl at the show.
This is what they say.
Yeah.
OK.
He was apparently into the legal age but very young women.
Yeah.
OK, you know what?
It doesn't say any of the quotes here.
I don't know why I didn't go into it, but he said Miller ends up at number seven so that we never forget.
I could look them up.
You know what?
There's probably so many that they couldn't pick one out.
Next Sports Bastards.
I'm going to go into Dennis Miller quotes.
I remember watching some of those Monday Night Football games.
It was like, God, this guy's a moron.
And then they'd show him.
They had the scene, the other show, the announcer's in the booth.
And the look on his face made you just kind of want to hit him.
Yeah.
Yes.
Because I'm not the kind to hit anybody.
No, me neither.
That look on his face is like you wanted to push a pizza into his face.
Yes, the smug, no way to look.
Or a cream pie or something.
Yeah, I agree.
I always thought the guy was an idiot and I still do.
Yeah.
All right.
So Dick Vitell is number six and it says this right here.
And I mean, I don't quite agree with this, but anyhow, I thought he brought a lot of excitement to the game.
Yeah, a lot of people thought he was pretty fun.
Yeah.
What they're bitching about is him sucking up to Duke fans.
Oh, yeah.
He said that Duke makes a game nearly unbearable to listen to at times.
So anyhow, it doesn't give any examples either.
But I remember that.
If Duke was anywhere nearby, he'd be talking about them.
And even if Duke wasn't playing, he was talking about Duke.
Yeah.
Number five is Jim Rome.
Oh, gosh.
I imagine he said some pretty stupid things.
I'll read into this a little bit.
I'll think everyone gave a shit about Dickie V.
Yeah.
But anyway, he wasn't strong enough candidate.
Now, Jim Rome is a strong candidate.
He's very prolific and he says a lot of things.
As a viewer on ESPN, I realize I can't fully grasp what drives Jim and his motivations for his show.
But what comes across is that he's a little man syndrome.
I've heard that about, wasn't it Tim Grunhard that said he used to puff out his little bird chest every time he's in the locker room?
Yes.
The guy that hides behind a goatee, he'll never shave while delivering the heart-hitting monotone robot sound.
Does he have no hard time reading cue cards or is he trying to do his best impression of William Shatner?
Ooh. Ooh. Ooh.
That one stung.
Only Jim knows, it says.
Eddie Allen, okay, on a side note, Shaquille O'Neal challenged Rome to a boxing match in August of 2010.
O'Neal even offered to donate the entire NBA salary to charity if Rome won.
Sadly, no word out of Jim Rome camp to this day.
So, Eddie Allen, and then it goes on. I'm sure he's been pumping up in the gym.
I've got a Jim Rome story.
Okay.
I used to listen to his show.
Uh-huh.
I don't remember what decade this was.
But he was having, I don't know if it was the Smack Off or not,
but it was definitely one of those things where it was the section of the show where he wanted you to come up and have what he would call a strong take.
Uh-huh.
So, Willie from KC called him.
He was one of the best.
Yeah.
He used to sing at Pesaro Bell.
Yeah.
Eddie Allen, go ahead.
He made, this was right after the serious allegations came out about Michael Jackson being a pedophile.
So, he worked into the conversation something about this team needs to be like Michael Jackson and pull out of whatever kid they're in,
and Jim Rome cut him off right there, and then just reamed him and said,
Nope, never, you're banned forever, banned for life, blah, blah, blah, blah, and just really roasted him.
And Willie from KC got on the local radio station here in town and said,
When I called up, I had to give my whole take to the producer, the guy that answers the phone.
Everybody does.
So, he knew exactly what I was going to say.
And then he ran.
And he put me on with Jim Rome anyway.
He knew exactly what he was going to say and knew exactly when to cut him off.
Jim Rome intentionally let that go out over the air and then pretended to be outraged.
Yeah, he goes, Oh, that's going to get you right off the show, Willie.
Yeah.
And he pretended he was actually furious.
I can't believe you do that, select something to me.
I trusted you.
Pandering to his, yeah.
But he absolutely knew that was coming.
And then like three weeks later, Willie and KC called in again to try to apologize.
And he called in and talked to the producer.
And the producer said, you know, let me hear what you got.
And he said, All right, that's a great apology, great take.
You know, let's go with it.
And then he signaled Rome.
And Rome was, had every intention of shutting the guy down.
So, he answered the call.
Willie started to talk and then he cut him off after about three words and said, Nope, you're still banned for life.
I hate you, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
So, they set this guy up twice.
That's Jim Rome.
I'm glad that he went on there.
Did he go on 810?
Yeah.
OK, good.
He went on 810 and said, Man, they knew exactly what I was going to say.
And they let me say it before they cut, because there's a second, seven second delay.
Yeah.
Because you always hear the people.
You go zoom and then you can hear Rome's show in the background from seven seconds ago.
And you know the guy's listening to his radio instead of the phone.
Yeah, and that's what they always say, turn your radio down.
So, even if Rome, for some reason, didn't know it was coming, he still had seven seconds to cut him off.
And he didn't.
He let it go out on the air intentionally and never got any flak for it.
So, I mean, at that point, I gave up on Rome.
It's like, yeah, this guy ain't worth it.
To me, he got too predictable.
Really?
Yeah, really predictable.
The format was exactly the same every day.
His same, what he says, how he acts.
It's like the same show over and over and over.
Yeah.
It's like watching the same episode, not the same show.
Yes, the same rerun.
Yeah, the same rerun of MASH every day.
Yeah.
I remember a lot of the guys at work were talking about him.
They were so cool and they loved the smack off and all that.
It was all fake, right?
Yeah, I asked, you know, did you listen?
They're like, oh, no, I don't listen to him.
So they liked him and they talked him up and they thought everything he did was cool,
but they didn't even listen to him.
Oh, yeah.
Well, I mean, he still does well, but he's not nearly what he used to be.
And part of that is, a lot of it is that.
People have like, look, it's not even real anyhow, but it's the same shit.
Yeah.
He had his moment where he peaked, and then we all learned that that was all he ever had.
And that was all he was going to be for the rest of his life.
So it's like, yeah, we're kind of tired of that.
Yeah, I think everybody, yeah.
And then the clones and all that stuff.
Oh, that's right, the clones.
Okay, Tim McCarver's number four.
A good commentator will rely the action of the game to you,
oftentimes from an angle that makes you feel like you're part of the event.
McCarver, however, is the captain of insinuation.
Sorry, my printer is like, okay.
He is the captain of insinuation.
What the manager is telling the pitcher on the mound right now,
and what player X is thinking about right now is,
are all a part of his terrible attempts to create something that does not exist.
Perhaps the most memorable of these moments were the one that came with immediate justification on the air.
During the 1992 Major League playoffs, McCarver began to criticize Deon Sanders
while he was at the plate for playing both in both that game and the NFL game.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I remember when he did that and then the game, the baseball game, the same day.
After the game was over, McCarver was in the clubhouse of the National League Championship Atlanta Braves conducting interviews.
And after hearing the McCarvers criticism, Deon dumped not one, not two, but three buckets of water on McCarver's head.
I remember that.
I do too.
McCarver screamed out, you're a real man, Deon, I'll say that.
McCarver's criticism hasn't stopped there.
Taking heat for comparing Joe Torre's coach to how Nazi Germany treated his generals.
Tim was forced to apologize.
So Tim McCarver could have gotten number one.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, here's the next one I love.
Remember Mr. Dan Fouts?
Oh, yes.
Boy, he was a disaster, wasn't he?
It was fun to watch play, but in the booth he wasn't nothing.
Nothing else, that was it.
Yeah.
OK, Dan Fouts, NFL color commentator, CBS Sports.
It's great to have a form of players calling the games as they do introduce a lot of insight as to what is happening on the field, as well as certain situations that they're familiar with.
What you get with Dan Fouts, on the other hand, is a self-glorification session in which he is in a constant state of comparing what just happened to a throw he made in 1979.
And I do remember him doing that.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
It's like anything that you've done, you can do, I've done it better than I did it before.
Yeah, and he'll make it better.
Yeah.
It doesn't matter.
I've forgotten all about that.
I did too.
After bouncing around and not giving it up, Fouts is now the number three NFL commentating team on CBS with Iain Eagle.
Oh, wow, I didn't know he's still working.
I think he is, I don't know.
He does deliver valid points and stats to fill, to fit his arguments, but his constant groaning on about his playing career makes him unbearable to listen to and fits in number three as this countdown as well.
Now, if we wanted to be the Chargers color commentator guy right after we retired, that would have been a receptive audience to all of the stuff he had done in the past.
But nobody else wants to hear it.
Not now anyway.
I obviously need some more ink.
Number two didn't come out at all.
So I don't know who number two is.
Number one, Trev Alberts.
Remember him?
Oh, yeah.
Mr. Crossdresser was it or something like that?
Oh, gosh, I remember that.
Yeah, he was like something.
He was into like some really fucking odd shit.
I guess he called somebody or something and they got the tapes.
Wasn't that it or something like that?
That's starting to ring a bell.
Oh, no, no, Marv Alberts.
Who's Trev Alberts?
I don't know.
But yeah, Marv Alberts is a different guy.
Yeah, Marv Alberts is a basketball commentator and he was a real filthy.
OK, number one, Trev Alberts.
Oh, Trev Alberts, college football analyst, ESPN.
All right.
I guess he is a really Nebraska homer because they said Nebraska 10 times.
Hey, you know, we went to Nebraska.
Yeah.
That's what they say here, the ultimate delusional homer.
He couldn't mention Big 12 Sports without him throwing in his opinion about where Nebraska fit in.
With it after being fired by ESPN in 2005, Alberts continued to harass the sports field public with jobs at TNT and CBS.
After failure overtook him on that level, the University of Nebraska Omaha made a decision they would soon regret by hiring him as their athletics director.
Oh.
Yeah.
Oh.
In March of 2011, the University of Nebraska Omaha's regrets approved an awful measure from Alberts who axed their football and wrestling programs.
The two programs in which they won their most recent national championships, Alberts' reason was to rejoin the Summit League of Division I.
Gosh.
Yeah.
It doesn't seem to make a lot of sense.
Yeah. Remember how, you know what, it's given their opinion on it and I don't need to read it?
Yeah.
It went into King Midas.
So I ran them.
Isn't that what he used to say?
They got run.
Yeah.
Yeah, Trev Alberts, I don't remember him, do you?
No, not really.
I mean, most of the college games I remember Keith Jackson a lot.
Keith Jackson's on there a lot.
Yeah.
I think, can Kevin Harlan do some college games?
He did before the Chiefs.
Yeah.
And then he went on to national where he's fantastic.
Yeah.
I would call him the best.
Yeah.
I mean, I'll always listen to Kevin Harlan.
He is, yeah, he's amazing.
And he's a Kansas City fan.
He has no buts about him.
Yeah.
I love it.
Yeah.
He hasn't forgot us.
And his father was in the Green Bay Packers organization.
So he likes the Packers too.
Yeah, he likes the Packers.
Mitch Holtz.
Yeah.
Some of his quotes are just insanely good.
Yeah.
He can connect the dots no matter where the dots are.
I mean, he is a sign of an announcer that can make everything an analogy that makes
perfect sense that has nothing to do with anything.
Teddy Al.
We've been lucky with good sports announcers here in town.
We have.
Len Dawson, Kevin Harlan, Mitch Holtz.
Oh, Len Dawson was the best.
Oh, yeah.
Len Dawson never patted himself on the back, never talked about his playing days.
He always talked about what should have been done.
The most unprofessional I ever saw Len Dawson get on the radio was when the Chiefs were
just doing horribly and he was starting to get angry and call them out for how badly
they were playing.
And you know what?
I remember that and I loved it.
Yeah, I did too.
I thought they needed it.
It's like, you go Lenny, you tell them.
He wanted the team to win and he was angry.
Yeah.
And I remember just like, you could hear, remember how one of the Fox would play their
sound when a flag was thrown?
Yeah.
And you would hear Len Dawson go, and then that flag sound would go.
He's like, oh, he saw the flag and he's so disgusted.
Then they have that disruptive sound.
And then you would hear, oh, shit, not Mitch Holtz.
Who's the other guy?
It's Bill Grigsby for a while.
Yeah, but now it's, he used to be a player.
Oh.
I can't think of his name.
He might have been a long snapper or something.
Ed, there he goes.
Or Gretz.
No, it was Ed.
Has been Gretz.
Yeah, has been Gretz.
Damn it, there you go.
Oh, and another penalty.
Yeah, who was that guy?
We'll have to look.
Because you knew it was against the Chiefs because you'd hear Lenny go, ugh.
Yeah.
And then you hear the, oh, another penalty.
And you'd be like, oh, shit, holding.
Yeah.
And sometimes you'd really call him out, like, this is something you work out in training camp.
Yes.
And we're well into the season and this is still a problem.
That's just ridiculous.
Yes.
Man, you can never say anything like that, especially on a national broadcast now.
No.
Because it's the NFL policy.
Everything has to be positive, good.
Everyone's great.
Everyone's awesome.
I'll go step further.
You can't say bad things about people.
When inside the NFL, got rid of Lenny and I forgot who was it.
Nick Monacani.
Yeah, it was never the same.
No, I quit watching it.
I love Monacani and Lenny both together.
They had so much knowledge of the game.
And the origins of the game.
Yeah.
That it brought so much spice to that.
I mean, they weren't a sports network.
And they were actually, you know, they weren't in all parts of the country, even HBO at the time.
Yeah, that's true.
They weren't really anything around here.
But they brought legitimacy to HBO.
Yeah, they really did.
Yeah.
I used to, it was weird.
HBO really got into sports in a big way.
They had tennis tournaments every year.
Oh, yeah.
And I used to call up the cable companies like, this is home box office, movies.
Why are they showing tennis?
And I was asking them, can you just turn off HBO for this time while they're playing tennis or substitute in a different channel?
Yeah, something, yeah.
Because I want movies.
Well, if you want movies, why not have this channel?
It's like, because I still want some of the programs that are on HBO.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
It was just like DirecTV when they had their spat with Disney and they were sending them to other TV outlets.
Yeah.
And then I think someone probably saw that and said, no, get this settled.
And they did.
Yeah.
As soon as I was getting ready to get my $30 credit and that thing, the FUBU or whatever, FUBU or whatever that is.
Yeah.
That's the one they suggest you go into.
They probably owned it.
I don't know.
But they said, yeah, you go here and get their free trials, what they said.
I'm like, you send them to another service and get a free trial.
That's weird.
Yeah.
And then it wasn't like a day after that.
And all of a sudden it's like, oh, they got it settled.
Yeah.
Go ahead.
What now?
There was a time when Dish Network was fighting with one of our local channels.
And, you know, I think it was whichever channel that the chiefs were going to be on because it was coming up on football season.
CBS, CBS probably.
Yeah.
So they weren't fighting with CBS.
They were fighting with Channel 5 here in town.
Oh, OK.
Yeah.
They do that like Fox 4.
They had a big fight with them.
So they took Channel 5 off the air, off there because they couldn't reach an agreement.
And in its place, they ran an infomercial saying, if you want, call us up and we'll bring out an over the air antenna and you can get all your local stations over the air.
I remember that.
And integrate seamlessly with your dish equipment.
And I did that.
And I've got an antenna on top of my house.
And you canceled them, didn't you?
No, I kept Dish.
But now when they fight with one of the local channels, I just go to the on the air version.
That's excellent.
What a great idea.
Or when Dish is having problems or, you know, weather blackouts or whatever, just go to the on the air channel.
No problem.
Great idea.
Yeah.
One time this was Direct TV, I do believe, and this back in the 90s.
They were having a squabble with, I think, NBC.
If I remember correctly, if it wasn't as CBS, ABC or somebody.
And anyhow, they forgot that you could still DVR any show.
But if you went to it live, it just beat nothing.
Oh.
Because I remember looking at it and I go, wait a minute, that's on ABC.
How come it captured it last night?
That's right.
It would block it from showing on your screen.
Yeah.
But your DVR would still see it.
And so you could record it.
You could watch local news on there.
Well, you could later.
But the thing is, I'm like, they don't even realize what they're doing here.
And I'm pretty sure probably NBC or whatever caught up with it.
They had to pay them for that, I would think.
But that was funny.
It was like, I'm pretty sure they didn't know about it.
Because it ended pretty quickly after that and they got them back on the channels.
Or maybe quite possibly they couldn't, I don't know, maybe they couldn't change it somehow.
I don't know.
Yeah.
There's always complicated contracts involved and plus regulations with the FCC.
I was under the assumption they just forgot about that aspect of it.
I don't know.
Anyhow.
All right.
I've got stuff I've got to do.
So we're going to shut this thing down.
We're coming up on the hour and 42 minute mark.
You know what?
It's free.
They got their money's worth.
You can't say we don't provide you with quantity.
We definitely give you quantity.
We're not talking anything about quality.
We're just talking about the amount of.
Yes.
So anyhow, I've also got to get some bathroom.
So while Mark goes and pees, I'm going to turn this off.
So this means bye fuckers.
Bye.
Did you really sit down and listen to all that garbage that was being.
Do you actually believe one inch of it?
I didn't think so.
Hang out.
Bye.