1
00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:35,000
The Daily Deucebag Pledge.

2
00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:37,500
Two Deucebags and a Microphone Pledge.

3
00:00:37,500 --> 00:00:42,500
I, Joe, or Jane listener hereby promise to download every show.

4
00:00:42,500 --> 00:00:48,500
I, Joe, or Jane listener hereby promise to grab family members phones and download the

5
00:00:48,500 --> 00:00:50,000
show from there.

6
00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:55,540
I, Joe, or Jane listener hereby promise to go to public computers and download the show

7
00:00:55,540 --> 00:00:57,000
from there.

8
00:00:57,000 --> 00:01:03,000
I, Joe, or Jane listener hereby promise to laugh at all the unfunny jokes.

9
00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:08,640
I, Joe, or Jane listener hereby promise to lie to all my friends and tell them how good

10
00:01:08,640 --> 00:01:10,300
the show is.

11
00:01:10,300 --> 00:01:16,360
And finally, I, Joe, or Jane listener promise to visit Montrose, Missouri to take advantage

12
00:01:16,360 --> 00:01:25,560
of the power plant, campgrounds, and junkyard all within its quarter mile radius.

13
00:01:25,560 --> 00:01:30,920
Here at Two Deucebags and a Microphone, we don't stand behind our journalistic integrity.

14
00:01:30,920 --> 00:01:33,160
Go ahead and assume we got the story wrong.

15
00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:35,800
At least we admit it.

16
00:01:35,800 --> 00:01:42,000
Not like all those other guys, we can and will lie if it makes the story better.

17
00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:45,000
Two Deucebags and a Microphone.

18
00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:48,000
We Talk.

19
00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:50,000
Jesus.

20
00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:56,440
Our constant pursuit for a real knee slapper.

21
00:01:56,440 --> 00:01:59,280
It's strange insults from an alien.

22
00:01:59,280 --> 00:02:00,280
Real hilarity.

23
00:02:00,280 --> 00:02:09,880
May your spoon always slip and sink into your hot suit.

24
00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:10,880
No bat light here.

25
00:02:10,880 --> 00:02:13,880
These idiots just show up and hope for the best.

26
00:02:13,880 --> 00:02:23,880
Oh Lord, that man just saw a puppy in half.

27
00:02:23,880 --> 00:02:29,240
Hey there, don't worry, I have a clown nose.

28
00:02:29,240 --> 00:02:35,760
Oh no, that drunk guy just hit my child.

29
00:02:35,760 --> 00:02:40,760
It's okay, I have a clown nose.

30
00:02:40,760 --> 00:02:44,400
Just put one on and you can do anything.

31
00:02:44,400 --> 00:02:47,400
Want to run for office?

32
00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:50,400
Murder people in public?

33
00:02:50,400 --> 00:02:53,400
Just grab a clown nose and bam, everyone laughs.

34
00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:54,400
Clown noses are sold at gag stores online and pedophile conventions.

35
00:02:54,400 --> 00:03:03,880
Grab one today and make magic happen.

36
00:03:03,880 --> 00:03:05,080
Hello everybody.

37
00:03:05,080 --> 00:03:10,160
This is Two Deucebags and a Microphone minus a douchebag, but that's what you're going

38
00:03:10,160 --> 00:03:12,280
to get until further notice.

39
00:03:12,280 --> 00:03:14,680
This is not the sports bastards.

40
00:03:14,680 --> 00:03:19,320
That will show up in the middle of the week and we give you our sports picks and we talk

41
00:03:19,320 --> 00:03:23,640
and we make fun of shit and all different kinds of cool stuff.

42
00:03:23,640 --> 00:03:27,840
So this isn't to think you're having a bad day department.

43
00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:30,240
Listen to this.

44
00:03:30,240 --> 00:03:31,960
A wah?

45
00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:38,280
Hakamanda who is believed to be the world's longest serving death row inmate has been

46
00:03:38,280 --> 00:03:42,640
acquitted 58 years after his arrest.

47
00:03:42,640 --> 00:03:49,660
Per local reports, Hakamanda's death sentence was finalized in 1980 after he was found guilty

48
00:03:49,660 --> 00:03:53,960
of murdering a family of four in 1968.

49
00:03:53,960 --> 00:04:00,840
Hakamanda was granted a retrial in 2014 after years of prolonged legal proceedings.

50
00:04:00,840 --> 00:04:02,760
It finally opened the door in 2023.

51
00:04:02,760 --> 00:04:07,400
A man believed to be the world's longest serving death row inmate has been acquitted by a Japanese

52
00:04:07,400 --> 00:04:12,960
court at the age of 88.

53
00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:19,680
So 56 years after he's found guilty in 1968, saying that he killed a family of four two

54
00:04:19,680 --> 00:04:22,680
years prior.

55
00:04:22,680 --> 00:04:27,160
According to Japanese public broadcaster NHK, the court claimed that key evidence had been

56
00:04:27,160 --> 00:04:29,080
fabricated by investigators.

57
00:04:29,080 --> 00:04:30,080
Huh?

58
00:04:30,080 --> 00:04:31,080
Sound familiar?

59
00:04:31,080 --> 00:04:36,720
In his original trial, Hakamanda had continued to maintain his innocence after his death

60
00:04:36,720 --> 00:04:39,120
sentence was finalized in 1980.

61
00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:45,240
The outlets stated Hakamanda's retrial began October 23 before a total of 15 hearings took

62
00:04:45,240 --> 00:04:48,600
place in NHK.

63
00:04:48,600 --> 00:04:52,000
This is from People Magazine Online.

64
00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:55,280
And yeah, like I said, you think you're having a bad day?

65
00:04:55,280 --> 00:04:56,280
Just think Hakamanda.

66
00:04:56,280 --> 00:05:00,240
I mean, you know, if you're Harambe, yeah, you had a bad day.

67
00:05:00,240 --> 00:05:05,280
But Hakamanda, real bad day.

68
00:05:05,280 --> 00:05:12,560
So there I was, pretty much MFing the Wheel of Fortune with Ryan Seacrest.

69
00:05:12,560 --> 00:05:16,880
And it turns out he got the best ratings in five years.

70
00:05:16,880 --> 00:05:18,240
And I said he wasn't that funny.

71
00:05:18,240 --> 00:05:23,760
He's not nearly as funny as Pat Sajak or Witty, but he's funny enough to make the show entertaining

72
00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:27,640
enough to where I think the show will be successful.

73
00:05:27,640 --> 00:05:29,480
Pat Sajak is still around though.

74
00:05:29,480 --> 00:05:35,120
He's going to be on hosting the Wheel of Fortune Celebrity Edition at night.

75
00:05:35,120 --> 00:05:40,720
It begins October 6th and should run through the winter.

76
00:05:40,720 --> 00:05:44,080
And it'll be the same format as it was before.

77
00:05:44,080 --> 00:05:48,140
And it looks to me like they're grooming Maggie Sajak to maybe take Vanna's place when she

78
00:05:48,140 --> 00:05:50,040
steps down.

79
00:05:50,040 --> 00:05:51,840
Just a thought, because she's still around.

80
00:05:51,840 --> 00:05:52,840
She's still on there.

81
00:05:52,840 --> 00:05:58,600
She still does little snippets, I guess, you know, near the ocean or something and going,

82
00:05:58,600 --> 00:06:01,240
yeah, in this beautiful Bahamas or whatever.

83
00:06:01,240 --> 00:06:06,640
So I could see her becoming the next Vanna and Ryan Seacrest seems to be doing a good

84
00:06:06,640 --> 00:06:07,640
job.

85
00:06:07,640 --> 00:06:10,200
So I'm sorry I MF'd him.

86
00:06:10,200 --> 00:06:15,240
So I think most of you know by now, Ozzy Osbourne has been inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall

87
00:06:15,240 --> 00:06:18,960
of Fame 2024 edition.

88
00:06:18,960 --> 00:06:23,600
Every year they nominate four or five people, I think it is, to be in the Rock and Roll

89
00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:24,600
Hall of Fame.

90
00:06:24,600 --> 00:06:28,600
Now Ozzy is already in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame with Black Sabbath.

91
00:06:28,600 --> 00:06:31,300
He got in, I think, 16 years ago.

92
00:06:31,300 --> 00:06:33,620
He had been in there for quite a while.

93
00:06:33,620 --> 00:06:38,240
So anyhow, he got this award for a solo career.

94
00:06:38,240 --> 00:06:43,000
And interesting enough, most people think in America Black Sabbath was bigger.

95
00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:44,640
That's not true.

96
00:06:44,640 --> 00:06:50,240
Ozzy morphed Black Sabbath in sales and attendance and everything in America.

97
00:06:50,240 --> 00:06:56,360
Ozzy was much, much bigger, a greater audience in America than Sabbath had.

98
00:06:56,360 --> 00:06:58,880
And Sabbath did pretty well.

99
00:06:58,880 --> 00:07:01,520
So he deserves to be in there.

100
00:07:01,520 --> 00:07:05,560
The only thing it gets me is, now I've seen pictures of him walking to the mailbox or

101
00:07:05,560 --> 00:07:16,320
whatever and to me, you see that classic Parkinson's twitch.

102
00:07:16,320 --> 00:07:17,540
It doesn't look good to me.

103
00:07:17,540 --> 00:07:19,100
He looks horrible to me.

104
00:07:19,100 --> 00:07:24,340
It doesn't look like he's able to do a whole lot.

105
00:07:24,340 --> 00:07:27,960
But if he's going to perform at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, if he performs a couple

106
00:07:27,960 --> 00:07:30,440
of songs, I'm going to be amazed.

107
00:07:30,440 --> 00:07:31,520
I mean, I hope he does.

108
00:07:31,520 --> 00:07:32,840
I hope I'm wrong on this.

109
00:07:32,840 --> 00:07:37,480
I really want Ozzy to do a last show with Sabbath and I want him to go to Rock and Roll

110
00:07:37,480 --> 00:07:43,240
Hall of Fame and I want to see him do a decent job.

111
00:07:43,240 --> 00:07:48,160
It would be just so fitting to cap off his amazing career.

112
00:07:48,160 --> 00:07:53,000
And not only that, but with all the Dave Grohl stuff about him cheating and getting caught

113
00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:55,680
on his wife with a love child and all that.

114
00:07:55,680 --> 00:07:57,240
I love what Ozzy did.

115
00:07:57,240 --> 00:08:01,240
When he got caught cheating with that hairdresser or whatever, whoever it was allegedly and

116
00:08:01,240 --> 00:08:06,160
all that stuff, he said, I'm a rock star.

117
00:08:06,160 --> 00:08:07,960
That's what I'm supposed to do.

118
00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:09,880
To me, that is it.

119
00:08:09,880 --> 00:08:14,240
As soon as he said that, I was like, okay, you got us.

120
00:08:14,240 --> 00:08:15,480
You won.

121
00:08:15,480 --> 00:08:16,840
That's what you're supposed to do, Ozzy.

122
00:08:16,840 --> 00:08:17,840
You won.

123
00:08:17,840 --> 00:08:19,600
So anyhow, I love that.

124
00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:22,000
Instead of going, oh man, I'm so sorry.

125
00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:23,560
I lost my mind.

126
00:08:23,560 --> 00:08:24,560
I don't know what I did.

127
00:08:24,560 --> 00:08:26,280
You know, I had a moment of weakness.

128
00:08:26,280 --> 00:08:28,680
He's just like, I'm a rock star.

129
00:08:28,680 --> 00:08:30,200
That's what I'm supposed to do.

130
00:08:30,200 --> 00:08:32,440
Now get the hell out of here before I kick you.

131
00:08:32,440 --> 00:08:34,080
So anyhow, Bravo Ozzy.

132
00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:36,160
I hope you have a great show.

133
00:08:36,160 --> 00:08:37,680
I hope everything goes well.

134
00:08:37,680 --> 00:08:42,800
I'm glad you finally made it into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame solo because you much

135
00:08:42,800 --> 00:08:44,240
deserved it.

136
00:08:44,240 --> 00:08:50,760
So, so there's a new disturbing trend in America.

137
00:08:50,760 --> 00:08:52,120
Well, it might be the world.

138
00:08:52,120 --> 00:08:54,560
I just know about America doing this.

139
00:08:54,560 --> 00:08:57,160
And this is people that know that they're dying.

140
00:08:57,160 --> 00:09:00,560
I mean, could be cancer, whatever.

141
00:09:00,560 --> 00:09:01,560
Okay.

142
00:09:01,560 --> 00:09:04,280
And they know they have a limited amount of time.

143
00:09:04,280 --> 00:09:10,480
What they do is they want one epic last party before they go into the great beyond.

144
00:09:10,480 --> 00:09:15,320
So there's like two companies that specialize in this and these are called death parties

145
00:09:15,320 --> 00:09:17,920
and death parties are simply like they sound.

146
00:09:17,920 --> 00:09:23,760
If someone knows they're going to die and it's coming up, I don't know, half year, three

147
00:09:23,760 --> 00:09:27,920
weeks, six months, and they don't feel that bad and they're able to partake.

148
00:09:27,920 --> 00:09:32,000
I mean, you know, if they're like riddled with cancer and chemo and they can't hardly

149
00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:34,760
walk, then they probably don't want one of these.

150
00:09:34,760 --> 00:09:38,260
But this is for people that are pretty healthy because I've noticed some people with different

151
00:09:38,260 --> 00:09:40,840
types of cancer that was healthy till the end.

152
00:09:40,840 --> 00:09:41,840
I mean, or looked healthy.

153
00:09:41,840 --> 00:09:44,140
I mean, you know, they walked around, they acted good.

154
00:09:44,140 --> 00:09:47,480
They didn't have much that much pain and it doesn't have to be cancer.

155
00:09:47,480 --> 00:09:54,880
It could be whatever to where they're really spry and able to enjoy themselves.

156
00:09:54,880 --> 00:09:57,640
Then they rent themselves a death party if they so wish.

157
00:09:57,640 --> 00:09:58,800
And this is an epic party.

158
00:09:58,800 --> 00:10:03,000
You call this place up and you give them probably half of your life savings that's supposed

159
00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:04,720
to go to your children.

160
00:10:04,720 --> 00:10:07,800
And you don't necessarily like little bastards anymore.

161
00:10:07,800 --> 00:10:09,560
So you're like, all right, you know what?

162
00:10:09,560 --> 00:10:10,560
Here's what I'm going to do.

163
00:10:10,560 --> 00:10:11,980
I'm going to have a death party.

164
00:10:11,980 --> 00:10:14,080
So you call it ACME death party.

165
00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:16,440
Oh, no, not ACME.

166
00:10:16,440 --> 00:10:18,560
That'll backfire.

167
00:10:18,560 --> 00:10:20,560
Call up death party one.

168
00:10:20,560 --> 00:10:21,560
Okay.

169
00:10:21,560 --> 00:10:27,920
Death party outlet one and say, hey, I'm going to be off this world in about four weeks.

170
00:10:27,920 --> 00:10:34,440
Could you come over, get me and four of my closest friends and make us have the time

171
00:10:34,440 --> 00:10:36,160
of our life?

172
00:10:36,160 --> 00:10:37,500
Sure.

173
00:10:37,500 --> 00:10:40,400
They come over, they get you in a limo.

174
00:10:40,400 --> 00:10:46,400
And after that, it's not real specific because I guess there's like a list and list of stuff

175
00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:48,800
you can do.

176
00:10:48,800 --> 00:10:54,960
Like I think one of them is like pike fishing on one of the great lakes.

177
00:10:54,960 --> 00:10:57,240
Another one is scuba diving.

178
00:10:57,240 --> 00:11:02,640
I mean, there's like bucket list stuff on there that you and your buddies can go do

179
00:11:02,640 --> 00:11:07,840
with you before you end up in the dirt.

180
00:11:07,840 --> 00:11:08,840
And you know what?

181
00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:11,760
I said it's disturbing, but actually I don't think it's that disturbing.

182
00:11:11,760 --> 00:11:14,800
I think this is kind of neat after I talked it over.

183
00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:17,280
Hell, why not?

184
00:11:17,280 --> 00:11:22,440
You know, like I said, I mean, let's say you don't, you know, you have some money for this

185
00:11:22,440 --> 00:11:27,120
thing, how much it costs and you still have money to leave your children or you know what?

186
00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:29,800
You want them to make their own way like you did, whatever.

187
00:11:29,800 --> 00:11:30,800
Nope.

188
00:11:30,800 --> 00:11:31,800
There you go.

189
00:11:31,800 --> 00:11:35,800
Throw 10, 20 grand, whatever the hell it is and go have this death party before you

190
00:11:35,800 --> 00:11:36,800
depart.

191
00:11:36,800 --> 00:11:41,240
And I mean, think of all the great pictures and the stories.

192
00:11:41,240 --> 00:11:47,320
There you are lying in your casket and go, man, this guy here, Jeffy, he's the coolest

193
00:11:47,320 --> 00:11:48,820
motherfucker ever.

194
00:11:48,820 --> 00:11:55,400
He took me and Billy and Johnny and Edward and took us all pike fishing.

195
00:11:55,400 --> 00:12:00,200
And then we went and hunt down grizzlies, you know, all this stuff.

196
00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:05,240
They could throw their pictures up and go, yeah, this is so and so, whoever the dead

197
00:12:05,240 --> 00:12:06,240
man is.

198
00:12:06,240 --> 00:12:09,480
Let's say the dead man's name is Willie.

199
00:12:09,480 --> 00:12:10,920
This is Willie.

200
00:12:10,920 --> 00:12:12,400
He caught a big pike.

201
00:12:12,400 --> 00:12:16,060
This is Willie jumping in the ice water because he didn't give a shit.

202
00:12:16,060 --> 00:12:21,440
This is Willie having the time of his life and for, I don't know, a day or whatever,

203
00:12:21,440 --> 00:12:22,640
he got his mind off dying.

204
00:12:22,640 --> 00:12:25,240
He was like, man, this is the best time ever.

205
00:12:25,240 --> 00:12:29,400
And quite possibly after he got done with this, you may be like, you know what?

206
00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:31,560
I did everything I wanted to do on this earth.

207
00:12:31,560 --> 00:12:33,040
So let's go ahead.

208
00:12:33,040 --> 00:12:35,400
You know, as soon as it gets me, it gets me.

209
00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:36,400
I'm ready.

210
00:12:36,400 --> 00:12:37,400
I'm happy.

211
00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:38,520
I did everything I wanted.

212
00:12:38,520 --> 00:12:43,120
So I actually think this death party thing is actually kind of cool when I was really

213
00:12:43,120 --> 00:12:45,440
skeptical of it before.

214
00:12:45,440 --> 00:12:48,880
So anyhow, interesting.

215
00:12:48,880 --> 00:12:51,160
But what a brilliant concept, you know?

216
00:12:51,160 --> 00:12:56,760
I mean, there are a lot of people dying in this world every day and a lot of them have

217
00:12:56,760 --> 00:13:01,280
not fulfilled what they wanted to do on their bucket list or maybe they just want one big

218
00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:02,280
party.

219
00:13:02,280 --> 00:13:06,640
I don't know, you know, but this is one hell of a way to kick off this world and go into

220
00:13:06,640 --> 00:13:07,640
the next.

221
00:13:07,640 --> 00:13:11,960
And now from death parties into this.

222
00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:13,680
This is very interesting.

223
00:13:13,680 --> 00:13:19,680
Michael Imperiali, you know, Christopher on The Sopranos and many, many other other big

224
00:13:19,680 --> 00:13:24,720
things was offered a mafia hitman lesson while working on The Sopranos.

225
00:13:24,720 --> 00:13:30,440
The 50 year old Goodfellas actor, well, that's another one he is in, rose to global fame

226
00:13:30,440 --> 00:13:37,840
by playing New Jersey gangster Christopher Moltisanti in all six series of HBO's pioneering

227
00:13:37,840 --> 00:13:43,480
mafia drama that said he got the dramatic offer while having a meal with his co-star

228
00:13:43,480 --> 00:13:50,200
Tony Cerrico, who played Polly, Polly Walnitz, 79, who was a real life.

229
00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:51,400
You know what?

230
00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:55,520
This article had to come out a little bit because a little bit back.

231
00:13:55,520 --> 00:13:57,440
I apologize, but I never knew this.

232
00:13:57,440 --> 00:13:58,760
If you know this, I'm sorry.

233
00:13:58,760 --> 00:14:02,240
You know, I don't know, fast forward or something.

234
00:14:02,240 --> 00:14:04,320
Tony Cerrico died, I think, last year.

235
00:14:04,320 --> 00:14:08,760
So anyhow, who was a real life mobster before getting into acting?

236
00:14:08,760 --> 00:14:13,560
Michael told the Daily Telegraph a man came to their table at the New York hot spot and

237
00:14:13,560 --> 00:14:19,120
said he could show him the correct way to strangle a victim using piano wire.

238
00:14:19,120 --> 00:14:22,480
The actor added about politely declining the offer.

239
00:14:22,480 --> 00:14:25,560
I told him maybe after dessert might be a better time.

240
00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:26,560
I like that.

241
00:14:26,560 --> 00:14:27,560
That's good.

242
00:14:27,560 --> 00:14:28,880
I didn't flat say no.

243
00:14:28,880 --> 00:14:32,000
He said, wait till I have my cheesecake.

244
00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:38,280
And then we could talk about piano wire and necks and depth and all that stuff.

245
00:14:38,280 --> 00:14:42,560
When asked if he ever took the lesson, he said it remained unfulfilled, but it's easily

246
00:14:42,560 --> 00:14:43,560
imagined.

247
00:14:43,560 --> 00:14:49,280
Michael's mafia boss, Uncle Tony Soprano, played by the late James Gandolfini, is seen

248
00:14:49,280 --> 00:14:54,080
strangling a snitch on the show with wire while Michael's character, Christopher, guns

249
00:14:54,080 --> 00:14:57,000
down a series of victims during the series.

250
00:14:57,000 --> 00:15:05,360
The Emmy winning actor, who is also the guitarist in the indie band Zopa, and a novelist, is

251
00:15:05,360 --> 00:15:11,040
now narrating a three part sky documentary, American Godfathers, the five families about

252
00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:12,360
the history of the mafia.

253
00:15:12,360 --> 00:15:13,360
Oh, that's cool.

254
00:15:13,360 --> 00:15:14,360
All right.

255
00:15:14,360 --> 00:15:19,280
Michael, who researched the mob for his role in 1990 gangster classic Goodfellas, said

256
00:15:19,280 --> 00:15:24,320
there's barely any links between his family and the mob, but said he still identifies

257
00:15:24,320 --> 00:15:26,120
with the stories of the gangsters.

258
00:15:26,120 --> 00:15:27,120
Okay.

259
00:15:27,120 --> 00:15:31,280
He added, I don't have a lot of first hand experience in my family, but the Godfather

260
00:15:31,280 --> 00:15:35,360
to some degree was a somewhat romanticized version of these stories.

261
00:15:35,360 --> 00:15:37,160
I would agree with that.

262
00:15:37,160 --> 00:15:40,640
He added, I don't have a lot of first hand experience.

263
00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:45,680
People really felt that Don Corleone, sorry, I don't know why I can't say that, who broke

264
00:15:45,680 --> 00:15:48,240
to law was a criminal and a murderer.

265
00:15:48,240 --> 00:15:53,960
That was, that there was some kind of a moral code and honor to his character.

266
00:15:53,960 --> 00:16:00,600
And I agree with Michael Imperioli, you know, it did, it did, you know, romanticize the

267
00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:01,600
whole thing.

268
00:16:01,600 --> 00:16:05,360
It made it seem like that was the cool thing to do.

269
00:16:05,360 --> 00:16:09,200
It made it seem like they all got rewarded, but if you think about it, most of them ended

270
00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:12,240
up dead or something or in prison.

271
00:16:12,240 --> 00:16:16,600
So was it really that good of a thing that they did this?

272
00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:19,480
Would it be a good thing if they did that to your family?

273
00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:22,320
Would it be a good thing if they did it to anybody?

274
00:16:22,320 --> 00:16:27,240
So you know what, interesting stuff, that's for sure.

275
00:16:27,240 --> 00:16:36,400
And if you're a mafia person, you're listening to me, you guys are awesome.

276
00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:39,040
So I'm sick and tired of thieves.

277
00:16:39,040 --> 00:16:42,600
Thieves are all over where I live.

278
00:16:42,600 --> 00:16:49,120
Stealing stuff, destroying stuff, just being complete fucking asshole, douchebag, lowlife,

279
00:16:49,120 --> 00:16:50,880
dregs of society.

280
00:16:50,880 --> 00:16:51,880
And I'm tired of it.

281
00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:56,520
So besides our ring doorbells on every corner of the house, imagine I went and I got some

282
00:16:56,520 --> 00:17:02,400
tree cameras too, because hopefully, you know, we can catch some of these fucks doing stupid

283
00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:09,800
shit and maybe possibly, possibly maybe make a little slowdown in crime.

284
00:17:09,800 --> 00:17:16,200
Not like anybody around the city that's higher up really seems to give one ounce of shit.

285
00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:22,000
So anyhow, I installed this camera and I turn it the right way.

286
00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:24,920
And there's one thing I forgot, because it took a long time where I had to do it.

287
00:17:24,920 --> 00:17:30,760
I had to nudge it in and then take out a couple of pieces of wood from the railing and put

288
00:17:30,760 --> 00:17:31,760
them back in.

289
00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:35,680
So it took me about 40 minutes to take that wood railing out because I had to take it

290
00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:42,200
all the way down, take out the bars in the middle, and then put that camera inside to

291
00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:43,680
where it would let.

292
00:17:43,680 --> 00:17:47,400
It's kind of hard to describe, but let's just say it was a lot of work to put this camera

293
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:49,240
in the place I needed to.

294
00:17:49,240 --> 00:17:52,960
I put it in there, I set it up and it's fine.

295
00:17:52,960 --> 00:17:55,080
And I'm like, wow, cool.

296
00:17:55,080 --> 00:18:00,200
Great view of the road, great view of the front lawn there, all this fantastic.

297
00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:01,680
So I go to work.

298
00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:04,400
I'm like, hey, let's check out my new camera.

299
00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:08,040
The damn thing, it turns halfway and I had it in the wrong way.

300
00:18:08,040 --> 00:18:11,600
Now it turns around and faces the wall.

301
00:18:11,600 --> 00:18:17,120
So I'm going to have to get out there and tear the whole damn thing apart and figure

302
00:18:17,120 --> 00:18:21,240
out which way it turns because it's a motion camera.

303
00:18:21,240 --> 00:18:24,760
And it's supposed to turn, I don't know, 45.

304
00:18:24,760 --> 00:18:28,920
And then the other camera on the other side that I'm going to put in Tuesday or Wednesday

305
00:18:28,920 --> 00:18:30,520
goes 45.

306
00:18:30,520 --> 00:18:35,360
They kind of meet in the middle, got the whole front yard and all that covered.

307
00:18:35,360 --> 00:18:36,980
But no, no, no.

308
00:18:36,980 --> 00:18:41,960
My stupid ass refuses to read the directions and thought he was all smart getting this

309
00:18:41,960 --> 00:18:43,520
thing going, oh man, I took all that off.

310
00:18:43,520 --> 00:18:44,520
I got it in.

311
00:18:44,520 --> 00:18:45,520
Fantastic, man.

312
00:18:45,520 --> 00:18:46,920
Mark, you the man.

313
00:18:46,920 --> 00:18:53,400
Well, I guess I'm not the man because I screwed that up royally and wasted a lot of time.

314
00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:58,920
So if you wonder what I'm going to be doing Tuesday, besides me and Topher doing the sports

315
00:18:58,920 --> 00:19:02,840
bastards, that's what I'm going to be doing for a long time.

316
00:19:02,840 --> 00:19:07,240
Next up, Things Overheard in Hell.

317
00:19:07,240 --> 00:19:12,000
Dishwater has the top 10 spots on Billboard Hot 100.

318
00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:15,720
Yo mama's so old, she was a waitress at the Last Supper.

319
00:19:15,720 --> 00:19:18,720
Oh shit, what's that over there?

320
00:19:18,720 --> 00:19:23,720
Oh no, it's an island of horrible jokes.

321
00:19:23,720 --> 00:19:28,720
I can't take my dog to the lake.

322
00:19:28,720 --> 00:19:31,720
The ducks keep attacking him.

323
00:19:31,720 --> 00:19:38,720
That's what I get for having a purebred dog.

324
00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:49,200
Now it's time for Pick Up Lines from a Loser.

325
00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:50,200
Are you an appendix?

326
00:19:50,200 --> 00:20:07,800
I don't know who you are or what you do, but I feel like I should take you out.

327
00:20:07,800 --> 00:20:10,840
You ever have a plane be delayed?

328
00:20:10,840 --> 00:20:12,880
Especially when you're already on the plane.

329
00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:17,760
In Dallas one time I was coming back to Kansas City and because there was baseball size hail

330
00:20:17,760 --> 00:20:22,600
and 80 mile an hour winds in the area, they already loaded us.

331
00:20:22,600 --> 00:20:25,960
But for safety reasons, whatever that is, I've never figured that shit out.

332
00:20:25,960 --> 00:20:26,960
Why safety reasons?

333
00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:31,240
I mean you're in a plane, wouldn't you be safer inside the airport?

334
00:20:31,240 --> 00:20:35,360
But anyhow, for safety reasons they couldn't let us go back in the airport, so we had to

335
00:20:35,360 --> 00:20:36,360
wait it out.

336
00:20:36,360 --> 00:20:42,760
I waited four hours on the tarmac with everybody else, we were pissed, everybody was unhappy.

337
00:20:42,760 --> 00:20:46,120
My ride at the airport had to go home and come back.

338
00:20:46,120 --> 00:20:48,720
I mean it was a real pain in the ass.

339
00:20:48,720 --> 00:20:54,600
None of the storms hit the DFW, but it was precautionary.

340
00:20:54,600 --> 00:21:01,680
So anyhow, I've been on that and then I was delayed four or five hours in LaGuardia.

341
00:21:01,680 --> 00:21:05,480
This is through work so it wasn't quite as bad, but the plane was coming back from New

342
00:21:05,480 --> 00:21:10,100
Orleans and they discovered some sort of a rattle or something and they were not happy

343
00:21:10,100 --> 00:21:16,680
or comfortable putting that plane back into circulation, so they nixed that flight and

344
00:21:16,680 --> 00:21:18,960
had to get a new plane, which I didn't mind.

345
00:21:18,960 --> 00:21:23,360
And besides that I was drinking beer all night on the company's tab, so that worked out well

346
00:21:23,360 --> 00:21:25,920
too.

347
00:21:25,920 --> 00:21:30,960
And so finally, I'm knee deep in beers and then finally I hear over the intercom, hey

348
00:21:30,960 --> 00:21:35,680
the plane's on its way, it's almost here and I'm like oh man I got sober up now.

349
00:21:35,680 --> 00:21:42,760
So anyhow, I did have a ride home, but still, from my ride home I had to drive home from

350
00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:43,760
there.

351
00:21:43,760 --> 00:21:44,760
So anyhow.

352
00:21:44,760 --> 00:21:52,520
Okay, a United Airlines pilot took matters into her own hand to please a plane full of

353
00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:54,040
worn out passengers.

354
00:21:54,040 --> 00:21:57,920
The flight was a nonstop from San Francisco to Houston.

355
00:21:57,920 --> 00:22:02,640
About an hour and a half into the flight an attendant on the intercom asked for any medical

356
00:22:02,640 --> 00:22:06,400
professional to please stand up.

357
00:22:06,400 --> 00:22:08,760
This was a man that collapsed in the restroom.

358
00:22:08,760 --> 00:22:13,040
A person jumped up and attended to the passenger in the bathroom.

359
00:22:13,040 --> 00:22:18,800
The plane then had to make an emergency landing in Albuquerque International Airport.

360
00:22:18,800 --> 00:22:24,360
The worn out passengers all received a $15 food voucher, but the problem was all the

361
00:22:24,360 --> 00:22:32,880
food hubs were closed at the airport because this whole procedure to help save this man

362
00:22:32,880 --> 00:22:34,480
took so long.

363
00:22:34,480 --> 00:22:39,640
Like I said, like I described earlier, once you're on a plane, it's really hard to get

364
00:22:39,640 --> 00:22:43,600
off the plane until you reach your final destination.

365
00:22:43,600 --> 00:22:47,560
So they had to sit in there while they figured all this stuff out and get the man medical

366
00:22:47,560 --> 00:22:50,320
help and all that.

367
00:22:50,320 --> 00:22:54,600
So what the pilot did, the pilot was vigilant and figured out how to order pizza for everyone

368
00:22:54,600 --> 00:22:57,160
on the plane and the pizza arrived there.

369
00:22:57,160 --> 00:23:01,160
I mean, they're in the secure, they're in the secure spot because that's where all planes

370
00:23:01,160 --> 00:23:02,360
land.

371
00:23:02,360 --> 00:23:08,560
So I don't know, they had to send a guard out in between, you know, secure and non-secure

372
00:23:08,560 --> 00:23:09,880
and bring back the pizzas.

373
00:23:09,880 --> 00:23:11,720
It did not describe it.

374
00:23:11,720 --> 00:23:16,840
And I cannot find the woman's name, the passenger, the pilot that did this.

375
00:23:16,840 --> 00:23:20,220
It was a really great idea, really quick on the spot idea.

376
00:23:20,220 --> 00:23:25,700
If you're interested in her name, you can look it up pretty easily, I'm sure.

377
00:23:25,700 --> 00:23:31,240
So in Hong Kong, while we're talking about food, a 36 year old coffin of a young woman

378
00:23:31,240 --> 00:23:35,040
was excavated in Northwest China two decades ago.

379
00:23:35,040 --> 00:23:40,500
Archaeologists discovered a mysterious substance laid out along her neck like a piece of jewelry.

380
00:23:40,500 --> 00:23:47,640
It was made of a piece of cheese and scientists now say it's the oldest cheese ever found.

381
00:23:47,640 --> 00:23:49,000
Regular cheese is soft.

382
00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:50,340
This is not.

383
00:23:50,340 --> 00:23:58,520
It is how it become really dry and hard dust said Fu Kiwami, a paleontologist at the Chinese

384
00:23:58,520 --> 00:24:04,680
Academy of Sciences in Beijing and the co-author of a study published Tuesday in the journal

385
00:24:04,680 --> 00:24:05,680
Cell.

386
00:24:05,680 --> 00:24:07,300
So there you go.

387
00:24:07,300 --> 00:24:13,040
Now you need some really old wine to go with that really old cheese, right?

388
00:24:13,040 --> 00:24:14,040
Maybe not.

389
00:24:14,040 --> 00:24:19,800
All right, one of the Oscar Meyer hot dog shaped Wienermobiles ended up flipped onto

390
00:24:19,800 --> 00:24:23,880
its side after crashing at a suburban Chicago highway.

391
00:24:23,880 --> 00:24:25,440
Police said this is a new one.

392
00:24:25,440 --> 00:24:28,120
Two of them crashed all around Chicago and I don't know what.

393
00:24:28,120 --> 00:24:29,480
Well maybe they have bad drivers.

394
00:24:29,480 --> 00:24:30,920
I don't know.

395
00:24:30,920 --> 00:24:36,680
The Wienermobile hit a car Monday morning along Interstate 294 and its driver lost control

396
00:24:36,680 --> 00:24:42,600
and overcorrected causing it to roll onto its side near the Chicago suburb of Oakbrook,

397
00:24:42,600 --> 00:24:43,600
Illinois.

398
00:24:43,600 --> 00:24:48,560
Police said no injuries were reported after the crash, which prompted the closure of the

399
00:24:48,560 --> 00:24:53,880
right lane of northbound I-294 for more than an hour.

400
00:24:53,880 --> 00:24:57,160
Officials said, well, that would suck.

401
00:24:57,160 --> 00:25:04,920
A spokesperson for Oscar Meyer Brand said nobody was hurt and he's grateful of that.

402
00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:10,280
And they they're going to refrain from statement to find out exactly what happened.

403
00:25:10,280 --> 00:25:15,800
They wish everybody involved and all the people waiting good fortune or whatever.

404
00:25:15,800 --> 00:25:17,720
You know, hey, sorry, guys.

405
00:25:17,720 --> 00:25:18,880
Here's a pat on the ass.

406
00:25:18,880 --> 00:25:19,880
Whatever.

407
00:25:19,880 --> 00:25:20,880
Something like that.

408
00:25:20,880 --> 00:25:29,800
Now I'm going to bring this up with Topher for a subject on our two bastards, you know,

409
00:25:29,800 --> 00:25:34,200
podcast that we have the sports bastards, not two bastards, the sports bastards podcast

410
00:25:34,200 --> 00:25:37,480
we have coming up Tuesday, probably.

411
00:25:37,480 --> 00:25:42,180
And this is interesting because to me, the 49ers do not look the same, not just injuries,

412
00:25:42,180 --> 00:25:43,720
but just how they're playing.

413
00:25:43,720 --> 00:25:48,360
It seems like there might be some internal strife possibly in there.

414
00:25:48,360 --> 00:25:52,360
And that also comes from losing two Super Bowls to the same team, I'm sure cannot be

415
00:25:52,360 --> 00:25:53,880
good for your psyche.

416
00:25:53,880 --> 00:25:56,200
I'm not making fun of them.

417
00:25:56,200 --> 00:25:57,400
Not making fun of them.

418
00:25:57,400 --> 00:26:02,720
What I'm saying is that can seep into your head thought really easily.

419
00:26:02,720 --> 00:26:09,320
So the Los Angeles Rams week three win over the San Francisco 49ers has come at a cost.

420
00:26:09,320 --> 00:26:19,720
The organization has been fined $100,000 after 49ers whiteout Brandon Iook was shoved on

421
00:26:19,720 --> 00:26:25,120
the Rams sideline on the final play of Los Angeles 27-24 win.

422
00:26:25,120 --> 00:26:30,800
Specifically cornerback Darian Kendrick and safety Carmen Kitchens were fined for their

423
00:26:30,800 --> 00:26:32,760
roles in the scuffle.

424
00:26:32,760 --> 00:26:38,580
The Rams 49ers rivalry has intensified since the Rams moved from St. Louis to Los Angeles

425
00:26:38,580 --> 00:26:41,240
back in 2016.

426
00:26:41,240 --> 00:26:46,220
The rivalry reached a new level in 2021 when the Rams edged the visiting 49ers in that

427
00:26:46,220 --> 00:26:50,040
year's NFC Championship game.

428
00:26:50,040 --> 00:26:54,120
This is the second time in as many days that Iook has found himself in the middle of a

429
00:26:54,120 --> 00:26:56,080
new story.

430
00:26:56,080 --> 00:27:02,480
On Friday a video went out of Iook throwing a tantrum at practice after 49ers head coach

431
00:27:02,480 --> 00:27:06,040
Kyle Shanahan asked him to change to the proper shorts.

432
00:27:06,040 --> 00:27:13,340
Iook who recently signed a $120 million extension has had a rough start to the 2024 season.

433
00:27:13,340 --> 00:27:17,760
His level of conditioning has been in question after he held out during the entirety of the

434
00:27:17,760 --> 00:27:19,420
training camp.

435
00:27:19,420 --> 00:27:21,440
And here's what I say right here.

436
00:27:21,440 --> 00:27:24,840
I think the 49ers missed their opportunity to trade this guy.

437
00:27:24,840 --> 00:27:29,120
They just gave him a huge contract and all teams are going to look at this as a red herring.

438
00:27:29,120 --> 00:27:32,120
They're going to be like, I don't know man, this guy's been a troublemaker.

439
00:27:32,120 --> 00:27:36,640
He sat out the whole preseason to get more money.

440
00:27:36,640 --> 00:27:38,160
He wasn't in good shape.

441
00:27:38,160 --> 00:27:39,280
He's causing shit.

442
00:27:39,280 --> 00:27:41,680
He's a distraction in the locker room.

443
00:27:41,680 --> 00:27:46,720
I think they should have tried to get rid of him when the going was good, when the word

444
00:27:46,720 --> 00:27:48,720
wasn't out about this guy.

445
00:27:48,720 --> 00:27:52,880
And to give him that large of a contract when he has this questionable behavior, I find

446
00:27:52,880 --> 00:27:56,240
questionable with the front office there.

447
00:27:56,240 --> 00:27:58,960
So I don't know.

448
00:27:58,960 --> 00:28:04,240
You all can read into this, whatever you want, but I think it is a red flag for definitely

449
00:28:04,240 --> 00:28:09,360
for sure.

450
00:28:09,360 --> 00:28:15,840
And on another note, I'm not very far off from taking guests on here.

451
00:28:15,840 --> 00:28:20,480
You know, you can shoot me an email or if you're on my Facebook account or Instagram

452
00:28:20,480 --> 00:28:25,000
account, shoot me an email, you know, not an email, but shoot me a message and say you

453
00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:26,720
want to call in.

454
00:28:26,720 --> 00:28:32,240
I will give you a number to call in and we can chit chat on this here program here, this

455
00:28:32,240 --> 00:28:33,800
here podcast.

456
00:28:33,800 --> 00:28:35,640
And I'd love to hear from you guys.

457
00:28:35,640 --> 00:28:40,360
So when you hear this, write it down.

458
00:28:40,360 --> 00:28:51,920
And I usually broadcast Tuesdays, Tuesday evening, some Wednesday evening at about seven

459
00:28:51,920 --> 00:28:55,120
o'clock central time.

460
00:28:55,120 --> 00:28:58,260
So but you can always just send me a message.

461
00:28:58,260 --> 00:29:01,760
And if I'm not doing any podcasts at night, I'll let you know and I'll let you know the

462
00:29:01,760 --> 00:29:05,520
night I plan on doing a podcast and we can get together like that.

463
00:29:05,520 --> 00:29:07,400
So it's not a big deal.

464
00:29:07,400 --> 00:29:13,200
And also, if you want to do it like this, it's stouchb66 at yahoo.com.

465
00:29:13,200 --> 00:29:15,640
I'm still trying to get my email figured out.

466
00:29:15,640 --> 00:29:22,600
The whole thing crashed on me and there's I took and I reloaded the app again.

467
00:29:22,600 --> 00:29:25,760
And now the app will not recognize my password that I had.

468
00:29:25,760 --> 00:29:28,880
I have it written down here when I took it off.

469
00:29:28,880 --> 00:29:33,500
So and maybe someone can email me and tell me what I'm doing wrong with this Yahoo mail

470
00:29:33,500 --> 00:29:35,560
because it's pissed me off so bad.

471
00:29:35,560 --> 00:29:38,800
I'm about ready to grab another email and just say screw it.

472
00:29:38,800 --> 00:29:44,020
And then everyone else can learn the new email and hopefully it will work better than Yahoo.

473
00:29:44,020 --> 00:29:46,720
You know, and maybe it could possibly be like this.

474
00:29:46,720 --> 00:29:47,820
Maybe I'm a fool.

475
00:29:47,820 --> 00:29:53,480
Maybe you buy the upgraded service from that or whoever Gmail or I think all of them have

476
00:29:53,480 --> 00:29:54,480
an upgraded service.

477
00:29:54,480 --> 00:29:58,520
If I buy the upgraded service, it might solve all the problems.

478
00:29:58,520 --> 00:30:04,760
And that's exactly, you know, what they want you to do is to buy the updated service.

479
00:30:04,760 --> 00:30:07,280
So it may be a, it may be a scenario like that.

480
00:30:07,280 --> 00:30:11,840
I have no idea, but all I know is it's still not working well.

481
00:30:11,840 --> 00:30:15,600
But you know, send me an email if you want to get on this program and I will do if I

482
00:30:15,600 --> 00:30:16,600
get it.

483
00:30:16,600 --> 00:30:18,680
I'll let you know when I'm done it.

484
00:30:18,680 --> 00:30:22,960
I'll send you an email back saying, Hey, I'm getting ready to go on the podcast.

485
00:30:22,960 --> 00:30:24,400
Call me at this number.

486
00:30:24,400 --> 00:30:26,920
So there you go.

487
00:30:26,920 --> 00:30:30,200
Our constant pursuit for a real knee slapper.

488
00:30:30,200 --> 00:30:33,320
It's strange insults from an alien.

489
00:30:33,320 --> 00:30:35,320
It's a real hilarity.

490
00:30:35,320 --> 00:30:39,320
Hey, you forever feel your cell phone vibrating in the pocket.

491
00:30:39,320 --> 00:30:40,320
It's not even in.

492
00:30:40,320 --> 00:30:44,320
Two douchebags in a microphone invade your ear holes in.

493
00:30:44,320 --> 00:30:48,320
Hey, who took a dump in the cooler?

494
00:30:48,320 --> 00:30:53,320
Jam X. What the hell happened?

495
00:30:53,320 --> 00:30:58,320
You were the generation of change.

496
00:30:58,320 --> 00:31:04,320
You never wanted to be one of them at the spoke for you.

497
00:31:04,320 --> 00:31:06,320
Fuck the man.

498
00:31:06,320 --> 00:31:08,320
Fuck the system.

499
00:31:08,320 --> 00:31:10,320
What the hell happened?

500
00:31:10,320 --> 00:31:18,320
The generation of angst, the generation of noncompliance is now buying a boat.

501
00:31:18,320 --> 00:31:22,320
You're really fed up until someone dangled a dollar near you.

502
00:31:22,320 --> 00:31:24,320
Great job, Xers.

503
00:31:24,320 --> 00:31:28,320
Everything's ruined.

504
00:31:28,320 --> 00:31:34,320
You ever have a plane be delayed, especially when you're already on the plane in Dallas one time.

505
00:31:34,320 --> 00:31:40,320
I was coming back to Kansas City and because there was baseball size hail and 80 mile an hour winds in the area,

506
00:31:40,320 --> 00:31:42,320
they already loaded us.

507
00:31:42,320 --> 00:31:46,320
But for safety reasons, whatever that is, I've never figured that shit out.

508
00:31:46,320 --> 00:31:47,320
Why safety reasons?

509
00:31:47,320 --> 00:31:49,320
I mean, you're in a plane.

510
00:31:49,320 --> 00:31:51,320
Wouldn't you be safer inside the airport?

511
00:31:51,320 --> 00:31:55,320
But anyhow, for safety reasons, they couldn't let us go back in the airport.

512
00:31:55,320 --> 00:31:57,320
So we had to wait it out.

513
00:31:57,320 --> 00:32:00,320
I waited four hours on the tarmac with everybody else who were pissed.

514
00:32:00,320 --> 00:32:03,320
Everybody was unhappy.

515
00:32:03,320 --> 00:32:06,320
My ride at the airport had to go home and come back.

516
00:32:06,320 --> 00:32:08,320
I mean, it's a real pain in the ass.

517
00:32:08,320 --> 00:32:15,320
And none of the storms hit the DFW, but it was precautionary.

518
00:32:15,320 --> 00:32:22,320
So anyhow, I've been on that and then I was delayed four or five hours in LaGuardia.

519
00:32:22,320 --> 00:32:23,320
And this is to work.

520
00:32:23,320 --> 00:32:25,320
So it wasn't quite as bad.

521
00:32:25,320 --> 00:32:30,320
But the plane was coming back from New Orleans and they discovered some sort of a rattle or something.

522
00:32:30,320 --> 00:32:36,320
And they were not happy or comfortable putting that plane back into circulation.

523
00:32:36,320 --> 00:32:40,320
So they nixed that flight and had to get a new plane, which I didn't mind.

524
00:32:40,320 --> 00:32:45,320
I was drinking beer all night on the company's tab, so that worked out well, too.

525
00:32:45,320 --> 00:32:49,320
And so finally, I'm knee deep in beers.

526
00:32:49,320 --> 00:32:52,320
And then finally, I hear over the intercom, hey, the plane's on its way.

527
00:32:52,320 --> 00:32:53,320
It's almost here.

528
00:32:53,320 --> 00:32:56,320
And I'm like, oh, man, I got sober up now.

529
00:32:56,320 --> 00:33:03,320
And anyhow, so I did have a ride home, but still, you know, from my ride home, I had to drive home from there.

530
00:33:03,320 --> 00:33:06,320
So anyhow, OK.

531
00:33:06,320 --> 00:33:14,320
A United Airlines pilot took matters into her own hand, actually, to please a plane full of worn out passengers.

532
00:33:14,320 --> 00:33:18,320
The flight was a nonstop from San Francisco to Houston.

533
00:33:18,320 --> 00:33:26,320
About an hour and a half into the flight, an attendant on the intercom asked for any medical professional to please stand up.

534
00:33:26,320 --> 00:33:29,320
This was a man that collapsed in the restroom.

535
00:33:29,320 --> 00:33:33,320
A person jumped up and attended to the passenger in the bathroom.

536
00:33:33,320 --> 00:33:39,320
The plane then had to make an emergency landing in Albuquerque International Airport.

537
00:33:39,320 --> 00:33:43,320
The worn out passengers all received a $15 food voucher.

538
00:33:43,320 --> 00:33:54,320
But the problem was all the food hubs were closed at the airport because this whole procedure to help save this man took so long.

539
00:33:54,320 --> 00:34:03,320
Like I said, like I described earlier, once you're on a plane, it's really hard to get off the plane until you reach your final destination.

540
00:34:03,320 --> 00:34:09,320
So, you know, they had to sit in there while they figured all this stuff out and get the man medical help and all that.

541
00:34:09,320 --> 00:34:16,320
So so what the pilot did, the pilot is vigilant and figured out how to order pizza for everyone on the plane.

542
00:34:16,320 --> 00:34:22,320
And the pizza arrived there. I mean, they're in the secure they're in the secure spot because that's where all planes land.

543
00:34:22,320 --> 00:34:30,320
So I don't know, they had to send a guard out in between, you know, secure and non-secure and bring back the pizzas.

544
00:34:30,320 --> 00:34:34,320
It did not describe it. And I cannot find the woman's name.

545
00:34:34,320 --> 00:34:40,320
The passing the pilot that did this. It was a really great idea, really quick on the spot idea.

546
00:34:40,320 --> 00:34:44,320
If you're interested in her name, you can look it up pretty easily. I'm sure.

547
00:34:44,320 --> 00:34:55,320
So so in Hong Kong, while we're talking about food, a 36 year old coffin of a young woman was excavated in Northwest China two decades ago.

548
00:34:55,320 --> 00:35:01,320
Archaeologists discovered a mysterious substance laid out along her neck like a piece of jewelry.

549
00:35:01,320 --> 00:35:07,320
It was made of a piece of cheese. And scientists now say it's the oldest cheese ever found.

550
00:35:07,320 --> 00:35:10,320
Regular cheese is soft. This is not.

551
00:35:10,320 --> 00:35:25,320
It is how become really dry and hard dust said Fu Kiwami, a paleontologist at the Chinese Academy of Sciences in Beijing and the co-author of a study published Tuesday in the journal cell.

552
00:35:25,320 --> 00:35:33,320
So there you go. Now you need some really old wine to go with that really old cheese, right?

553
00:35:33,320 --> 00:35:36,320
Maybe not.

554
00:35:36,320 --> 00:35:44,320
All right. One of the Oscar Meyer hot dog shaped winter reveals ended up flipped onto its side after crashing at a suburban Chicago Highway.

555
00:35:44,320 --> 00:35:48,320
Police said this is a new one to him crashed all around Chicago. And I don't know what.

556
00:35:48,320 --> 00:35:51,320
Well, maybe they have bad drivers. I don't know.

557
00:35:51,320 --> 00:36:03,320
The winter mobile hit a car Monday morning along Interstate 294 and its driver lost control and overcorrected, causing it to roll onto its side near the Chicago suburb of Oakbrook, Illinois.

558
00:36:03,320 --> 00:36:14,320
State police said no injuries were reported after the crash, which prompted the closure of the right lane of northbound I-294 for more than an hour.

559
00:36:14,320 --> 00:36:17,320
Officials said, well, that would suck.

560
00:36:17,320 --> 00:36:24,320
A spokesperson for Oscar Meyer Brand said nobody was hurt and he's grateful of that.

561
00:36:24,320 --> 00:36:34,320
And they they're going to refrain from statement to find out exactly what happened and they wish everybody involved and all the people waiting.

562
00:36:34,320 --> 00:36:37,320
Good fortune or whatever. You know, hey, sorry, guys.

563
00:36:37,320 --> 00:36:40,320
Here's a pat on the ass. Whatever. Something like that.

564
00:36:40,320 --> 00:36:48,320
Now, I'm going to bring this up with Topher for a subject on our two bastards.

565
00:36:48,320 --> 00:36:57,320
You know, podcasts that we have the sports bastards, not two bastards, the sports bastards podcasts we have coming up Tuesday, probably.

566
00:36:57,320 --> 00:37:04,320
And this is interesting because to me, the 49ers do not look the same, not just injuries, but just how they're playing.

567
00:37:04,320 --> 00:37:08,320
It seems like there might be some internal strife possibly in there.

568
00:37:08,320 --> 00:37:14,320
And that also comes from losing two Super Bowls to the same team. I'm sure cannot be good for your psyche.

569
00:37:14,320 --> 00:37:23,320
I'm not making fun of them, not making fun of them. What I'm saying is that can seep into your head thought really easily.

570
00:37:23,320 --> 00:37:29,320
So the Los Angeles Rams week three win over the San Francisco 49ers has come at a cost.

571
00:37:29,320 --> 00:37:41,320
The organized the organization has been fined one hundred thousand dollars after 49ers whiteout Brandon Iook was shoved on the Rams sideline

572
00:37:41,320 --> 00:37:52,320
on the final play of Los Angeles twenty seven twenty four win specifically cornerback Darien Kendrick and safety Carmen Kitchens were fined for their roles in the scuffle.

573
00:37:52,320 --> 00:38:01,320
The Rams 49ers rivalry has intensified since the Rams moved from St. Louis to Los Angeles back in 2016.

574
00:38:01,320 --> 00:38:08,320
The rivalry reached a new level in 2021 when the Rams edged the visiting 49ers in that year's NFC Championship game.

575
00:38:08,320 --> 00:38:17,320
I think we all remember that this is the second time as many days at Iook has found himself in the middle of a new story on Friday.

576
00:38:17,320 --> 00:38:26,320
A video went out of Iook throwing a tantrum at practice after 49ers head coach Kyle Shanahan asked him to change to the proper shorts.

577
00:38:26,320 --> 00:38:33,320
Iook who recently signed one hundred twenty million dollar extension has had a rough start to the twenty twenty four season.

578
00:38:33,320 --> 00:38:39,320
His level of conditioning has been in question after he held out during the entirety of the training camp.

579
00:38:39,320 --> 00:38:45,320
And here's what I say right here. I think the 49ers missed their opportunity to trade this guy.

580
00:38:45,320 --> 00:38:50,320
They just gave him a huge contract and all teams are going to look at this as a red herring.

581
00:38:50,320 --> 00:38:57,320
They're going to be like I don't know man. This guy's been a troublemaker. He sat out the whole preseason to get more money.

582
00:38:57,320 --> 00:39:02,320
He wasn't in good shape. He's causing shit. He's a distraction in the locker room.

583
00:39:02,320 --> 00:39:09,320
I think I think they should have tried to get rid of him when when the going was good when the word wasn't out about this guy.

584
00:39:09,320 --> 00:39:16,320
And to give him that large of a contract when he has this questionable behavior I find questionable with the front office there.

585
00:39:16,320 --> 00:39:21,320
So I don't know. You all can read into this whatever you want.

586
00:39:21,320 --> 00:39:29,320
But I think it is a red flag for definitely for sure.

587
00:39:29,320 --> 00:39:36,320
And on another note I'm not very far off from taking guests on here.

588
00:39:36,320 --> 00:39:43,320
You know you can shoot me an email or if you're on my Facebook account or Instagram account shoot me an email.

589
00:39:43,320 --> 00:39:47,320
You know not an email but shoot me a message and say you want to call in.

590
00:39:47,320 --> 00:39:54,320
I will give you a number to call in and we can chit chat on this here program here this here podcast.

591
00:39:54,320 --> 00:40:00,320
And I'd love to hear from you guys. So when you hear this write it down.

592
00:40:00,320 --> 00:40:15,320
And I usually broadcast Tuesdays Tuesday evening some Wednesday evening at about seven o'clock Central Time.

593
00:40:15,320 --> 00:40:18,320
So but you can always just send me a message.

594
00:40:18,320 --> 00:40:25,320
And if I'm not doing any podcasts at night I'll let you know and I'll let you know the night I plan on doing a podcast and we can get together like that.

595
00:40:25,320 --> 00:40:33,320
So it's not a big deal. And also if you want to do it like this is stouchb66 at Yahoo dot com.

596
00:40:33,320 --> 00:40:42,320
I'm still trying to get my email figured out. The whole thing crashed on me and there's I took and I reloaded the app again.

597
00:40:42,320 --> 00:40:46,320
And now the app will not recognize my password that I had.

598
00:40:46,320 --> 00:40:49,320
I have it written down here when I took it off.

599
00:40:49,320 --> 00:40:56,320
So and maybe someone can email me and tell me what I'm doing wrong with this Yahoo mail because it's pissed me off so bad.

600
00:40:56,320 --> 00:40:59,320
I'm about ready to grab another email and just say screw it.

601
00:40:59,320 --> 00:41:04,320
And then everyone else can learn the new email and hopefully it will work better than Yahoo.

602
00:41:04,320 --> 00:41:08,320
You know and maybe it could possibly be like this. Maybe I'm a fool.

603
00:41:08,320 --> 00:41:15,320
Maybe you buy the upgraded service from that or whoever Gmail or I think all of them have an upgraded service.

604
00:41:15,320 --> 00:41:18,320
If I buy the upgraded service it might solve all the problems.

605
00:41:18,320 --> 00:41:25,320
And that's exactly you know what they want you to do is to buy the updated service.

606
00:41:25,320 --> 00:41:29,320
So it may be a it may be a scenario like that. I have no idea.

607
00:41:29,320 --> 00:41:32,320
But all I know is it's still not working well.

608
00:41:32,320 --> 00:41:37,320
But you know send me an email if you want to get on this program and I will do if I get it.

609
00:41:37,320 --> 00:41:43,320
I'll let you know when I'm done it. I'll send you an email back said I'm getting ready to go on the podcast.

610
00:41:43,320 --> 00:41:46,320
Call me at this number. So there you go.

611
00:41:46,320 --> 00:41:54,320
Our constant pursuit for a real knee slapper. It's strange insults from an alien. Real hilarity.

612
00:41:54,320 --> 00:41:59,320
You're as useful as a pilot with balls.

613
00:42:00,320 --> 00:42:06,320
The apocalypse just happened. You don't know what to do. You don't know where to go.

614
00:42:06,320 --> 00:42:09,320
But we can tell you what you can eat.

615
00:42:09,320 --> 00:42:12,320
Hi all. This is Mark here.

616
00:42:12,320 --> 00:42:16,320
I'm usually the one telling you what to eat during an apocalypse.

617
00:42:16,320 --> 00:42:20,320
Well this time I decided to go the other way.

618
00:42:20,320 --> 00:42:23,320
You ever consider just going to Ground Zero and saying fuck it.

619
00:42:23,320 --> 00:42:27,320
Do you really want to be the guy running around looking for radioactive deer.

620
00:42:27,320 --> 00:42:32,320
Guessing whether water is not contaminated or not. No food no shelter no nothing.

621
00:42:32,320 --> 00:42:36,320
Oh no there's a strong argument that says you know what.

622
00:42:36,320 --> 00:42:40,320
Let's just go to Ground Zero and see what's for us after.

623
00:42:40,320 --> 00:42:42,320
Just a thought.

624
00:42:42,320 --> 00:42:50,320
As much fun as an electric can opener to the scrotum. Two douche bags and a microphone.

625
00:42:50,320 --> 00:42:55,320
Two douche bags and a microphone in an effort to keep everything fresh.

626
00:42:55,320 --> 00:43:00,320
We offer you first world problems.

627
00:43:01,320 --> 00:43:05,320
Oh shit. Look at that drive thru wine.

628
00:43:05,320 --> 00:43:09,320
Surely you wouldn't expect me to actually have to go in.

629
00:43:09,320 --> 00:43:13,320
This sucks.

630
00:43:21,320 --> 00:43:25,320
Two douche bags and a microphone. Hi Mark.

631
00:43:25,320 --> 00:43:31,320
Alright we're going to start off. Gen Z starts sleep maxing trend in a bid for better shut eye.

632
00:43:31,320 --> 00:43:35,320
Here's what it is and how it works.

633
00:43:36,320 --> 00:43:42,320
In a bid for better shut eye desperate youngsters are spearheading a new trend to maximize their sleep.

634
00:43:42,320 --> 00:43:50,320
According to a Gallup poll published earlier this year only a quarter of Americans are getting the recommended 8 hours of rest per night.

635
00:43:50,320 --> 00:43:54,320
Now I don't know I operate better with 6 and a half 7 hour sleep.

636
00:43:54,320 --> 00:44:00,320
Seems like whenever I get 8 hour sleep I wake up more tired and sluggish and oh no.

637
00:44:00,320 --> 00:44:04,320
That's just me. Maybe everybody else is different.

638
00:44:04,320 --> 00:44:09,320
So anyhow me I don't know. It seems to me like I prefer 7 hour sleep.

639
00:44:09,320 --> 00:44:13,320
But who knows maybe that's just me thinking that.

640
00:44:13,320 --> 00:44:17,320
So anyhow now zoomers have invented sleep maxing.

641
00:44:17,320 --> 00:44:20,320
And it's sweeping of course. Tick tock.

642
00:44:20,320 --> 00:44:27,320
The trend sees youngsters try an array of unusual hacks for longer and better quality sleep.

643
00:44:27,320 --> 00:44:34,320
Such as chugging sleepy girl mocktails or taping their mouths shut to avoid snoring.

644
00:44:34,320 --> 00:44:37,320
I'm sorry I can't help but cut it.

645
00:44:37,320 --> 00:44:41,320
That's ridiculous.

646
00:44:41,320 --> 00:44:49,320
Anyhow in my day to day work the trend of sleep maxing is actually causing most people who try it to sleep worse.

647
00:44:49,320 --> 00:44:53,320
James Wilson known as the sleep geek.

648
00:44:53,320 --> 00:44:55,320
I guess that's probably on tick tock too.

649
00:44:55,320 --> 00:45:04,320
At Mattress Online told Daily Mail according to the fad could turn cause orthosomnia I think it is.

650
00:45:04,320 --> 00:45:08,320
An obsession with getting the perfect sleep.

651
00:45:08,320 --> 00:45:13,320
So orthosomnia is an obsession with getting the perfect sleep.

652
00:45:13,320 --> 00:45:18,320
Ok just get some flex rolls. There you go.

653
00:45:18,320 --> 00:45:21,320
Get some flex rolls you'll find the perfect sleep.

654
00:45:21,320 --> 00:45:27,320
Of course this is not useful when we are stressed and anxious we sleep worse.

655
00:45:27,320 --> 00:45:31,320
True that. Wilson is not a fan of mouth taping.

656
00:45:31,320 --> 00:45:36,320
Despite users swearing up and down that it makes them all feel better rested.

657
00:45:36,320 --> 00:45:40,320
That's gotta be a mental thing cause I...anyhow.

658
00:45:40,320 --> 00:45:47,320
There is no proof to practice improved sleep and it masks the main symptoms of a serious sleep disorder called sleep apnea he warned.

659
00:45:47,320 --> 00:45:54,320
Yeah tape your mouth shut with sleep apnea and you don't really have another way to breathe.

660
00:45:54,320 --> 00:45:57,320
Sounds kinda bad to me while you are asleep.

661
00:45:57,320 --> 00:46:05,320
Nasal breathing is good for our well being and the best way to do it more at night is to consciously practice do it during the day.

662
00:46:05,320 --> 00:46:09,320
Ok so I guess that means breathe in breathe out type of thing.

663
00:46:09,320 --> 00:46:21,320
Meanwhile others swear by this sleepy girl mocktail a bedtime beverage of sets of water, tart, cherry juice and magnesium powder that users insist provides the best sleep of their lives.

664
00:46:21,320 --> 00:46:29,320
Well experts have lauded the concoction as a great way to get magnesium into the diet and suspect it could help people feel more relaxed.

665
00:46:29,320 --> 00:46:36,320
Nutritionist Toby King told Daily Mail that people should be wary of how much of the mineral they consume.

666
00:46:36,320 --> 00:46:43,320
As high doses of magnesium can have an adverse reaction in the gut and make the muscles feel too relaxed.

667
00:46:43,320 --> 00:46:49,320
Or not just feel but actually right here it says feel or be too relaxed.

668
00:46:49,320 --> 00:46:50,320
So both of them.

669
00:46:50,320 --> 00:46:57,320
But Wilson added that the drink is unlikely to help significantly and is probably a placebo.

670
00:46:57,320 --> 00:47:08,320
He isn't so convinced that the sleep max and methods widespread on TikTok are of any benefit to all of those desperate for more sleep.

671
00:47:08,320 --> 00:47:20,320
So I mean I read this thing called the complete I think it's called like the sleep bible or something like that.

672
00:47:20,320 --> 00:47:28,320
And anyhow I found that at my old job whenever I was in town I had to be up at 3.30 be at work at 5 a.m.

673
00:47:28,320 --> 00:47:32,320
And I started going by these practices it's called sleep hygiene.

674
00:47:32,320 --> 00:47:36,320
And that's where you go to bed at the same time every night.

675
00:47:36,320 --> 00:47:41,320
You have an hour of calm and quiet ahead of that.

676
00:47:41,320 --> 00:47:46,320
You don't drink anything you don't eat anything an hour before.

677
00:47:46,320 --> 00:47:50,320
They will prefer it be longer than that but at least an hour before you go to bed.

678
00:47:50,320 --> 00:47:55,320
And also they suggest like maybe some of the same type of music.

679
00:47:55,320 --> 00:47:59,320
Softer music or whatever before you go to bed.

680
00:47:59,320 --> 00:48:01,320
And this seemed to work pretty well.

681
00:48:01,320 --> 00:48:04,320
And since I have tinnitus I got to have a fan on.

682
00:48:04,320 --> 00:48:10,320
So you know I had the same rhythm going every night and it helped quite a bit.

683
00:48:10,320 --> 00:48:17,320
But my biggest issue was during the summer whenever you wake up that early like I used to.

684
00:48:17,320 --> 00:48:24,320
At 8.30 at night I'd have to go to bed and the sun is blazing out there still in July and August.

685
00:48:24,320 --> 00:48:27,320
And that's just when people are getting off work and going hey come on over and get a beer.

686
00:48:27,320 --> 00:48:29,320
And I'm like I can't.

687
00:48:29,320 --> 00:48:30,320
Well why not I got to go to sleep.

688
00:48:30,320 --> 00:48:32,320
What do you mean you got to go to sleep.

689
00:48:32,320 --> 00:48:37,320
I'd be up working five in the morning this means I'll wake up at 3.30 so I got to go to sleep.

690
00:48:37,320 --> 00:48:40,320
So anyhow I think sleep hygiene would probably work better than this.

691
00:48:40,320 --> 00:48:45,320
But this is TikTok and this is to me the world I make believe.

692
00:48:45,320 --> 00:48:48,320
Oh I left off the most important.

693
00:48:48,320 --> 00:48:53,320
A shower before an hour before the same soft music.

694
00:48:53,320 --> 00:48:55,320
And before you go to bed.

695
00:48:55,320 --> 00:48:59,320
And the same noises whether it be white noises fan like me or whatever.

696
00:48:59,320 --> 00:49:05,320
So anyhow if anyone's interested in that instead of this goofy shit that they are throwing up on TikTok.

697
00:49:05,320 --> 00:49:10,320
Look it up. I think it's called the complete sleep Bible or something like that.

698
00:49:10,320 --> 00:49:12,320
You can get it online I think for free now.

699
00:49:12,320 --> 00:49:16,320
That's one of them or you can look up sleep hygiene.

700
00:49:16,320 --> 00:49:22,320
And that would be a good one too because it's all under the umbrella of sleep hygiene is what they call it.

701
00:49:22,320 --> 00:49:25,320
So anyhow there you go.

702
00:49:25,320 --> 00:49:28,320
So we are in October now.

703
00:49:28,320 --> 00:49:33,320
Which means we are getting dangerously close to Halloween.

704
00:49:33,320 --> 00:49:38,320
So again TikTok is offering a new thing.

705
00:49:38,320 --> 00:49:42,320
Nope it's not the sleepy girl cocktail or whatever.

706
00:49:42,320 --> 00:49:46,320
This is the Michael Meyer challenge.

707
00:49:46,320 --> 00:49:49,320
Yeah as in Halloween the movie.

708
00:49:49,320 --> 00:49:54,320
Michael Myers the guy with the white face mask that goes around hacking people.

709
00:49:54,320 --> 00:49:56,320
Him.

710
00:49:56,320 --> 00:50:01,320
So what they do is you are running from Michael Myers.

711
00:50:01,320 --> 00:50:05,320
You are a guy with a white mask and you have a set of keys in your hands.

712
00:50:05,320 --> 00:50:07,320
And there is this cabin.

713
00:50:07,320 --> 00:50:14,320
And your job is to not only run from him but open up the cabin door and get in before he kills you.

714
00:50:14,320 --> 00:50:18,320
As silly as this sounds I think it sounds fun.

715
00:50:18,320 --> 00:50:20,320
I think it would be really fun.

716
00:50:20,320 --> 00:50:23,320
Get like 20 people and have them all do the Michael Meyer challenge.

717
00:50:23,320 --> 00:50:26,320
And I don't know record it.

718
00:50:26,320 --> 00:50:28,320
I mean put it on YouTube or just laugh.

719
00:50:28,320 --> 00:50:30,320
I mean see other people trying to do it.

720
00:50:30,320 --> 00:50:32,320
See people fall down.

721
00:50:32,320 --> 00:50:36,320
And also when you are doing this the adrenaline has to be pumping.

722
00:50:36,320 --> 00:50:42,320
I mean you may know it's fake but you still kind of get some of the sensations of as if it was real.

723
00:50:42,320 --> 00:50:45,320
You know so your heart is pounding.

724
00:50:45,320 --> 00:50:47,320
You are freaking out.

725
00:50:47,320 --> 00:50:50,320
You try to open up the door and you are shaking and discombobulated.

726
00:50:50,320 --> 00:50:52,320
I mean you know.

727
00:50:52,320 --> 00:50:54,320
So I think that's pretty cool.

728
00:50:54,320 --> 00:50:56,320
And when I get a chance.

729
00:50:56,320 --> 00:50:58,320
Whatever that is.

730
00:50:58,320 --> 00:51:03,320
I want to look this up online and watch some of the ones in the past.

731
00:51:03,320 --> 00:51:05,320
I think this will be a lot of fun to watch.

732
00:51:05,320 --> 00:51:09,320
So anyhow.

733
00:51:09,320 --> 00:51:14,320
Oh and on another note don't forget to listen to the Sports Bastards.

734
00:51:14,320 --> 00:51:18,320
The Sports Bastard is Topher and I the two original douchebags.

735
00:51:18,320 --> 00:51:21,320
We are doing an NFL show.

736
00:51:21,320 --> 00:51:24,320
And it turns out to be two shows a week.

737
00:51:24,320 --> 00:51:29,320
This week we went a little overboard and the first show is two and a half hours.

738
00:51:29,320 --> 00:51:31,320
And the second one is one in 45 minutes.

739
00:51:31,320 --> 00:51:33,320
One hour and 45 minutes.

740
00:51:33,320 --> 00:51:40,320
And anyhow I just witnessed Kirk Cousins beat Tampa Bay in overtime.

741
00:51:40,320 --> 00:51:45,320
He had 506 yards and four touchdown passes.

742
00:51:45,320 --> 00:51:47,320
No interceptions.

743
00:51:47,320 --> 00:51:50,320
I just cannot believe that guy put in the right system.

744
00:51:50,320 --> 00:51:54,320
Like he is and he has some weapons and he has offensive line.

745
00:51:54,320 --> 00:51:56,320
That guy looks incredible.

746
00:51:56,320 --> 00:51:57,320
I mean he really.

747
00:51:57,320 --> 00:51:59,320
He's always been a good quarterback.

748
00:51:59,320 --> 00:52:02,320
But coming off the torn ACL.

749
00:52:02,320 --> 00:52:05,320
And he's what like 37, 38.

750
00:52:05,320 --> 00:52:07,320
He looks better than he ever did.

751
00:52:07,320 --> 00:52:10,320
Today's ACL injuries must not be nearly.

752
00:52:10,320 --> 00:52:13,320
Nearly what old ACL injuries were.

753
00:52:13,320 --> 00:52:16,320
It used to be like you can count them out for a year and a half at least.

754
00:52:16,320 --> 00:52:22,320
And hopefully they come back if they're you know in their latter years of football playing.

755
00:52:22,320 --> 00:52:24,320
Hopefully they can come back.

756
00:52:24,320 --> 00:52:27,320
But there's no guarantee that they can come back fully.

757
00:52:27,320 --> 00:52:31,320
So it looks to me I mean him and Aaron Rodgers looks fine.

758
00:52:31,320 --> 00:52:34,320
They had to have come a long ways on this type of surgery.

759
00:52:34,320 --> 00:52:37,320
It's just like in baseball Tommy John surgery.

760
00:52:37,320 --> 00:52:40,320
Tommy John surgery used to be the kiss of death.

761
00:52:40,320 --> 00:52:42,320
It is not anymore.

762
00:52:42,320 --> 00:52:46,320
Tommy John surgery just takes a little bit of time to get over.

763
00:52:46,320 --> 00:52:50,320
And normally pitchers come back and sometimes they even pitch.

764
00:52:50,320 --> 00:52:54,320
At a faster rate of speed after the Tommy John surgery.

765
00:52:54,320 --> 00:52:58,320
So and you don't necessarily have to throw fast.

766
00:52:58,320 --> 00:53:02,320
I mean like Madison Baumgartner.

767
00:53:02,320 --> 00:53:07,320
He didn't throw fast but he had a change up that would just fool you and make you look silly.

768
00:53:07,320 --> 00:53:09,320
I mean you throw your timing off.

769
00:53:09,320 --> 00:53:13,320
You swing that damn thing three times before it hit the plate.

770
00:53:13,320 --> 00:53:23,320
So anyhow I would also like to say congratulations to the Royals who wrapped up the wild card division three game.

771
00:53:23,320 --> 00:53:27,320
The wild card against the Baltimore Orioles.

772
00:53:27,320 --> 00:53:32,320
Baltimore must be sick of Kansas City.

773
00:53:32,320 --> 00:53:40,320
Because back in 2015 we beat them in a seven game series to go on to the championship.

774
00:53:40,320 --> 00:53:43,320
The AL championship round.

775
00:53:43,320 --> 00:53:53,320
And and then we beat the Ravens the Baltimore Ravens last year in the championship game to go on to the Super Bowl.

776
00:53:53,320 --> 00:54:01,320
And then now just yesterday we beat them two games to none to capture the wild card.

777
00:54:01,320 --> 00:54:06,320
And go on to the divisional series.

778
00:54:06,320 --> 00:54:09,320
But Royals great job.

779
00:54:09,320 --> 00:54:11,320
Their pitching looks really good.

780
00:54:11,320 --> 00:54:16,320
They're solid pitching Cole Regans is he looks like a superstar.

781
00:54:16,320 --> 00:54:19,320
Seth Lugo is solid.

782
00:54:19,320 --> 00:54:21,320
Watcha is good.

783
00:54:21,320 --> 00:54:23,320
I mean they got some bullpen guys.

784
00:54:23,320 --> 00:54:28,320
I mean I kind of didn't give them enough credit.

785
00:54:28,320 --> 00:54:32,320
I was like you know what I just want to get experience this year that's it.

786
00:54:32,320 --> 00:54:36,320
They may have somewhat of a shot at this.

787
00:54:36,320 --> 00:54:39,320
I mean you get good pitching in that.

788
00:54:39,320 --> 00:54:46,320
You know we got Pasquendino back in the lineup.

789
00:54:46,320 --> 00:54:49,320
He's going to help a lot Vinny Pasquendino.

790
00:54:49,320 --> 00:54:56,320
And you know with Witt and Perez that's a pretty solid two three four punch.

791
00:54:56,320 --> 00:55:02,320
So it's going to look pretty good or probably three four five punch.

792
00:55:02,320 --> 00:55:04,320
I forgot where they are in the lineup.

793
00:55:04,320 --> 00:55:11,320
But anyhow it's going to I mean I hope we at least put up a fight if not win against the big bad Yankees.

794
00:55:11,320 --> 00:55:18,320
This also instills people that are a little bit older like me in the mid 50s or so.

795
00:55:18,320 --> 00:55:21,320
It makes them remember the lineup when we were youngsters.

796
00:55:21,320 --> 00:55:27,320
And they used to the Royals and the Yankees used to battle it out every year.

797
00:55:27,320 --> 00:55:33,320
They beat us most years and we went home and they went on to the World Series.

798
00:55:33,320 --> 00:55:39,320
You know with people like Thurman Munston Reggie Jackson Goose Gossage until I believe it was.

799
00:55:39,320 --> 00:55:45,320
Yeah it was 1980 and George Brett hit a monster three run home run.

800
00:55:45,320 --> 00:55:47,320
I believe it was the eighth inning.

801
00:55:47,320 --> 00:55:52,320
And it was like nothing nothing or something like that or they're leading one to nothing.

802
00:55:52,320 --> 00:55:55,320
I forgot is you know it was from 1980.

803
00:55:55,320 --> 00:56:00,320
George Brett hit that ball so hard and the ball was coming in so fast.

804
00:56:00,320 --> 00:56:03,320
Goose Gossage could throw a hundred easily if not more.

805
00:56:03,320 --> 00:56:08,320
He just whizzed those balls in and George Brett hit it so hard.

806
00:56:08,320 --> 00:56:13,320
It was still rising when it hit the third deck at Yankee Stadium.

807
00:56:13,320 --> 00:56:16,320
Then we went on to World Series and we lost to Philly.

808
00:56:16,320 --> 00:56:22,320
But we since got Philly back with the Super Bowl two years ago.

809
00:56:22,320 --> 00:56:25,320
So anyhow they they're avenged.

810
00:56:25,320 --> 00:56:31,320
We lost to San Francisco in 2014 and they have been avenged two times by the Chiefs.

811
00:56:31,320 --> 00:56:34,320
So anyhow congratulations to Royals.

812
00:56:34,320 --> 00:56:36,320
Keep doing the great work.

813
00:56:36,320 --> 00:56:37,320
We love you here in Kansas City.

814
00:56:37,320 --> 00:56:38,320
We support you.

815
00:56:38,320 --> 00:56:45,320
Hope you get a new stadium and it will probably be in Johnson County because Kansas City simply has to.

816
00:56:45,320 --> 00:56:47,320
They have bigger fish to fry like crime.

817
00:56:47,320 --> 00:56:49,320
We don't have we don't have the funds.

818
00:56:49,320 --> 00:57:01,320
They they already just kill us on taxes and they need to allocate this money instead of to bullshit to actually fighting crime.

819
00:57:01,320 --> 00:57:04,320
So anyhow that's enough of that.

820
00:57:04,320 --> 00:57:06,320
This is a political show.

821
00:57:06,320 --> 00:57:08,320
I'm not even sure of his dick jokes anymore.

822
00:57:08,320 --> 00:57:10,320
I don't even know what the hell it is.

823
00:57:10,320 --> 00:57:13,320
Anyhow this is two douchebags minus one of them.

824
00:57:13,320 --> 00:57:15,320
I'm Mark. I'm the main douchebag.

825
00:57:15,320 --> 00:57:19,320
So anyhow everybody.

826
00:57:19,320 --> 00:57:23,320
Christopher you know our elaborate prank section right.

827
00:57:23,320 --> 00:57:25,320
OK well I've got one for you.

828
00:57:25,320 --> 00:57:28,320
I never told you about Babel Snatch have I.

829
00:57:28,320 --> 00:57:31,320
OK even if I did just say I didn't know.

830
00:57:31,320 --> 00:57:33,320
He knows nothing about Babel Snatch.

831
00:57:33,320 --> 00:57:36,320
Yeah I think I remember a name like Babel Snatch.

832
00:57:36,320 --> 00:57:37,320
OK so.

833
00:57:37,320 --> 00:57:44,320
Babel Snatch this is back in the 80s probably mid 80s best guess could have been 87 at the latest.

834
00:57:44,320 --> 00:57:49,320
But anyhow you know I used to go to the 7-eleven in Belvedere which isn't there now.

835
00:57:49,320 --> 00:57:53,320
It was knocked down and then replaced way later by a quick trip.

836
00:57:53,320 --> 00:58:00,320
But anyhow I used to go in there all the time and you know go in there and buy sodas and shit and whatever you know.

837
00:58:00,320 --> 00:58:03,320
Rolling papers for my friends not for me.

838
00:58:03,320 --> 00:58:09,320
And anyhow you know just shit like that. So anyhow there's this guy in there.

839
00:58:09,320 --> 00:58:12,320
He I don't know you know I think he hated long hairs or something.

840
00:58:12,320 --> 00:58:15,320
But hey I noticed he was nice to everybody but me.

841
00:58:15,320 --> 00:58:19,320
Like I'd be like third in line and anyhow you know the first guy.

842
00:58:19,320 --> 00:58:21,320
Hey Mr. Jones how you doing.

843
00:58:21,320 --> 00:58:23,320
Oh man yeah nice weather.

844
00:58:23,320 --> 00:58:24,320
Hey how's the kid.

845
00:58:24,320 --> 00:58:26,320
You know next person.

846
00:58:26,320 --> 00:58:28,320
Hi Loretta how you doing.

847
00:58:28,320 --> 00:58:30,320
Oh man yeah yeah yeah everything's going good man.

848
00:58:30,320 --> 00:58:33,320
I got the got the old Taurus running really good.

849
00:58:33,320 --> 00:58:34,320
Yeah yeah come by man.

850
00:58:34,320 --> 00:58:35,320
The old Taurus.

851
00:58:35,320 --> 00:58:37,320
Yeah you know.

852
00:58:37,320 --> 00:58:39,320
I come up there 142.

853
00:58:39,320 --> 00:58:41,320
So how you doing.

854
00:58:41,320 --> 00:58:43,320
142.

855
00:58:43,320 --> 00:58:45,320
Okay here you go.

856
00:58:45,320 --> 00:58:47,320
And I'm like what the hell how come this guy hates me.

857
00:58:47,320 --> 00:58:49,320
And every time I go in there.

858
00:58:49,320 --> 00:58:52,320
Nice as pie to everybody but me it's like just like.

859
00:58:52,320 --> 00:58:54,320
I'd be 249.

860
00:58:54,320 --> 00:58:57,320
So weather's pretty nice out there.

861
00:58:57,320 --> 00:58:58,320
Thanks bye.

862
00:58:58,320 --> 00:59:00,320
Motherfucker.

863
00:59:00,320 --> 00:59:03,320
So he did this so many times and he just never talked to me.

864
00:59:03,320 --> 00:59:06,320
He wouldn't even like hardly look at me you know.

865
00:59:06,320 --> 00:59:09,320
So and I never did nothing to this fucker that I know of.

866
00:59:09,320 --> 00:59:13,320
You know maybe someone said something like this guy said you know that you're a dick or.

867
00:59:13,320 --> 00:59:17,320
Maybe someone screw him like hey man you think you got a nice ass.

868
00:59:17,320 --> 00:59:22,320
Whatever the fucking deal was the guy was just a complete tool bag to me constantly.

869
00:59:22,320 --> 00:59:24,320
So I was like hi bitch.

870
00:59:24,320 --> 00:59:26,320
So I go home and I think about like okay.

871
00:59:26,320 --> 00:59:29,320
So I start calling up my go.

872
00:59:29,320 --> 00:59:32,320
Hey you got a Babel snatch gum.

873
00:59:32,320 --> 00:59:34,320
What Babel snatch.

874
00:59:34,320 --> 00:59:36,320
I mean everybody.

875
00:59:36,320 --> 00:59:38,320
I bought it from there a couple of weeks ago.

876
00:59:38,320 --> 00:59:40,320
Stuff is fucking awesome man.

877
00:59:40,320 --> 00:59:43,320
I'll tell you what man you know talk to your manager about it.

878
00:59:43,320 --> 00:59:45,320
Is this like a breath freshening gum.

879
00:59:45,320 --> 00:59:47,320
I don't you know.

880
00:59:47,320 --> 00:59:48,320
Maybe a bubble gum.

881
00:59:48,320 --> 00:59:50,320
I just came up with it.

882
00:59:50,320 --> 00:59:53,320
And anyhow the guy he bent on it you know he was like.

883
00:59:53,320 --> 00:59:54,320
Oh yeah.

884
00:59:54,320 --> 00:59:56,320
I'll check on it for you.

885
00:59:56,320 --> 00:59:58,320
Hey thanks man I appreciate it.

886
00:59:58,320 --> 01:00:00,320
So anyhow so I call back a little bit later.

887
01:00:00,320 --> 01:00:03,320
Yeah someone called earlier you know and anyhow.

888
01:00:03,320 --> 01:00:07,320
I'm sure we have it here somewhere but you know I'll talk to my manager about it tonight.

889
01:00:07,320 --> 01:00:09,320
We'll see what we can do.

890
01:00:09,320 --> 01:00:13,320
So anyhow I have a couple other people call it about Babel snatch gum and you know.

891
01:00:13,320 --> 01:00:16,320
And they're like yeah yeah yeah you know we're we're working on getting it in.

892
01:00:16,320 --> 01:00:22,320
Okay you know the regional manager we called him and he said that he was going to work on getting it in here.

893
01:00:22,320 --> 01:00:27,320
And I go well you know I bought it the other day and it's just so good.

894
01:00:27,320 --> 01:00:30,320
And they believe me I go man this gum is just so great tasting.

895
01:00:30,320 --> 01:00:32,320
And he's like it's Babel snatch right.

896
01:00:32,320 --> 01:00:34,320
Yeah Babel snatch that's the name of it.

897
01:00:34,320 --> 01:00:35,320
Okay all right.

898
01:00:35,320 --> 01:00:41,320
I would have loved to listen into the conversation when he's asking the regional manager about Babel snatch.

899
01:00:41,320 --> 01:00:44,320
Oh yeah so you know anyhow.

900
01:00:44,320 --> 01:00:48,320
I called down there the next day and I go hey man you know you got that Babel snatch gum.

901
01:00:48,320 --> 01:00:50,320
You know the guy's like oh hang on hang on I think it's in.

902
01:00:50,320 --> 01:00:52,320
We just had a load hang on.

903
01:00:52,320 --> 01:00:55,320
So anyhow so the guy's like you know and this is the guy I hated the Paul guy.

904
01:00:55,320 --> 01:00:58,320
So anyhow he's like yeah hang on a second.

905
01:00:58,320 --> 01:01:02,320
So I hear him like yeah hey I'm going to go to the back there and it's in one of the boxes.

906
01:01:02,320 --> 01:01:04,320
I said it was coming in today.

907
01:01:04,320 --> 01:01:05,320
So all right no big deal.

908
01:01:05,320 --> 01:01:09,320
So I hear him go back I hear some rustling a couple people come in and he stops.

909
01:01:09,320 --> 01:01:12,320
He goes up there oh yeah it'll be 1242.

910
01:01:12,320 --> 01:01:14,320
Okay thank you have a good day.

911
01:01:14,320 --> 01:01:15,320
And then he helps someone else.

912
01:01:15,320 --> 01:01:16,320
I hear him go back again.

913
01:01:16,320 --> 01:01:21,320
I hear him rustling through some more boxes meanwhile I'm laughing my ass off.

914
01:01:21,320 --> 01:01:26,320
Anyhow this guy he like for like 20 minutes is looking for Babel snatch gum.

915
01:01:26,320 --> 01:01:32,320
So anyhow so like finally like a half hour later he comes back.

916
01:01:32,320 --> 01:01:36,320
He goes man he goes look I know we're going to have an end by the end of the day.

917
01:01:36,320 --> 01:01:38,320
I talked to my manager.

918
01:01:38,320 --> 01:01:41,320
Okay all right man all right I'll come in at night and I'll get some gum.

919
01:01:41,320 --> 01:01:43,320
Save some for me man okay.

920
01:01:43,320 --> 01:01:45,320
My name's Billy I'll be in.

921
01:01:45,320 --> 01:01:49,320
Okay okay all right I'll save you some Babel snatch gum no problem.

922
01:01:49,320 --> 01:01:52,320
So a couple hours later I call up and I talked to the manager.

923
01:01:52,320 --> 01:01:56,320
The manager's like yeah yeah I ordered some a couple days ago and it should be in.

924
01:01:56,320 --> 01:01:59,320
If it's not in right now it's going to be in by the end of the day I guarantee you.

925
01:01:59,320 --> 01:02:04,320
So I don't know how the hell they ordered it because there's there was no such thing as Babel snatch gum.

926
01:02:04,320 --> 01:02:10,320
I made this shut up and all of a sudden I mean everybody wanted this fucking Babel snatch gum.

927
01:02:10,320 --> 01:02:11,320
And it never did exist.

928
01:02:11,320 --> 01:02:18,320
Matter of fact this prank got so good to where I ended up this is you know in the 80s before digital cameras even.

929
01:02:18,320 --> 01:02:23,320
Let alone you know there are phone cameras and all the you know Photoshop and everything.

930
01:02:23,320 --> 01:02:24,320
No internet.

931
01:02:24,320 --> 01:02:29,320
No we had to like cut stuff out of wrappers and stuff and make a fake Babel snatch gum.

932
01:02:29,320 --> 01:02:34,320
And take an old fashion like a Polaroid type of picture.

933
01:02:34,320 --> 01:02:35,320
I forgot what it was.

934
01:02:35,320 --> 01:02:37,320
It could have been one of those little box cameras back then.

935
01:02:37,320 --> 01:02:39,320
Probably the only thing I could afford you know.

936
01:02:39,320 --> 01:02:43,320
Hey we actually took a picture of the Babel snatch gum.

937
01:02:43,320 --> 01:02:46,320
And a guy went in there he goes hey man I need this.

938
01:02:46,320 --> 01:02:49,320
And the guy's like I know I know I know man we're working on getting it in.

939
01:02:49,320 --> 01:02:50,320
It's hard to get man.

940
01:02:50,320 --> 01:02:52,320
Everybody wants this Babel snatch gum.

941
01:02:52,320 --> 01:02:58,320
So anyhow I guess the whole moral of the story is don't be a dick to me because then I'll do something like that.

942
01:02:58,320 --> 01:03:03,320
And even now to this day I'll have a couple people on my friends list every now and they'd like send me a little message.

943
01:03:03,320 --> 01:03:05,320
And I'll go Babel snatch.

944
01:03:05,320 --> 01:03:07,320
I'm like ahhh.

945
01:03:07,320 --> 01:03:12,320
Remember one time I was like working up in fucking New York or something.

946
01:03:12,320 --> 01:03:14,320
And all of a sudden I get a ding.

947
01:03:14,320 --> 01:03:17,320
And I'm on top of this fucking skyscraper they were putting in glass.

948
01:03:17,320 --> 01:03:20,320
And I look down and it says Babel snatch.

949
01:03:20,320 --> 01:03:24,320
I'm like fuck.

950
01:03:24,320 --> 01:03:29,320
I'm up there dying in this glass about ready to fall and kill a hundred people.

951
01:03:29,320 --> 01:03:32,320
They recover your body and they look at your phone.

952
01:03:32,320 --> 01:03:39,320
Well the last text you received said Babel snatch. We better look into this.

953
01:03:39,320 --> 01:03:44,320
By some guy named dirtbag.

954
01:03:44,320 --> 01:03:48,320
So anyhow that is my elaborate prank section of this.

955
01:03:48,320 --> 01:03:50,320
Unless we throw some more in there but anyhow.

956
01:03:50,320 --> 01:03:53,320
Babel snatch. Never forget it.

957
01:03:53,320 --> 01:04:03,320
This name lives on.