From the deep inside the bowels of the city market in Kansas City, Missouri downtown property,
near the banks of the beautiful crystal blue waters of the Missouri River,
it is the origin to Topher and Mark giving the 2024 football predictions for the new season.
You thought they were done, didn't you?
Kicking your ass with your size 15 clown boots and a deep Tracy hat.
Harambe loved talking sports. Harambe doesn't talk sports anymore. Why not? Because Harambe's dead.
Harambe died because some idiot could not watch their children properly while they were on the phone.
They shot him. Senselessly murdered. Harambe does not talk sports anymore. Sorry Harambe.
Hi everybody, this is the Sports Bastards. I'm Mark.
And I'm Topher.
We're starting off with breaking news. The Panthers suck.
In case no one got that message. Couldn't figure it out.
And I think in the last 10 minutes, Tua Tagovaiola got another concussion.
I think so, yeah.
He was scratching his ass and he got a concussion. That's the other breaking news.
And Jamar Chase is still angrily yelling for a flag.
I'd say tiny little fist, but I don't think he has tiny fists.
Probably not as a wide receiver. He's probably got great big giant fists.
Well he's raving them in there. That guy spits up fucking acid thinking about my home.
I was surprised that he gave him any credit at all.
Because they said, you know, he was the best quarterback. I can't say it. Can't say his name.
I go again, Jamar, come on over. Come on over. You'll get a couple of rings, man.
Come on over. Leave the dark side. Come to the light. Come to the light.
Come somewhere where they have decent chili.
Yes. No, not Denver. Come on over, man. Come on, Jamar. Water's warm. Stick your feet in.
And now that Hollywood Brown's out for the season.
Oh, we can really use you now. Yeah. Come on over. You'll get a ring.
Isn't that funny? Last season it was Aaron Rodgers. This season it was Hollywood Brown.
Yeah, and also Pacheco. First preseason play. He's out.
I contribute that to this right here. I know Hollywood Brown was preseason.
But I consider that a conditioning thing. No, yeah.
I mean, especially the one earlier, you know, the one second preseason. No, just the workouts.
Wasn't even in the game yet. I don't know how he did his conditioning, but it obviously didn't work, I think.
Seems pretty fragile. And then for the people that say that Pacheco, it was a dirty hit.
I'm not a guy to defend the Bengals, but that was not a dirty hit.
No, it looked like the defender wrapped his arms around his lower leg,
and then somebody else bent Pacheco backwards over the guy's arm.
Either one of them had no idea what was going on. You're hitting somebody as fast as you can, blindly.
They didn't do that on purpose. There's no way you could orchestrate that on purpose.
I don't see it. It looked like it was just sperm of the moment.
Yeah, it was an unfortunate incident. Now we're going to have to maybe have Kareem Hunt back.
That's what I'm hearing. He's visiting tomorrow.
Your thoughts?
I think it would be a good fit. He's a tough, powerful runner. He's still got gas in the tank.
He's played here before, so he knows how to play an arrowhead.
He's been used sparingly, O'Browns.
Is he a free agent, or would this be a trade cut?
Free agent.
Okay, so O'Browns cut him. That's awesome.
No one picked him up.
I'd say bring him back. Why not?
Yeah, see what he does. This time it might be different.
This is his last hope for a ring and his last hope to beat anything in the NFL.
Yeah, this might be the last stop in his career.
Yes, and I think he knows that. So if there's anything left in that pan at all, you're going to find out in the first couple of games.
If you get the guy, how well he was coached here and how angry he was.
He was another angry runner, wasn't he?
Yes, he was. Pacheco reminded me, a lot of him only not as thick.
Yeah.
So I think that that's an interesting scenario and also a chance for the perfect redemption.
Oh yeah, everyone loves a good story like that.
Yeah, could you imagine they win a ring and everyone goes cream hunt and he's crying.
He goes, man, I screwed my life up, but I thank the Lord, I talked to him.
That would be an awesome TV moment.
Yeah. OK, so I mean, it has all the storylines of the perfect ending.
It does.
Yeah, and then Kareem Hunt could either retire or be the backup to Pacheco, however he feels like it.
Yeah.
You know, I mean, if he did well, reasonably well, why wouldn't he want to be the other guy?
I mean, can you imagine if they want to keep three at running at the running position?
That's going to be the thing, because you already have Carson Steele.
True. He kind of counts as a running back too.
Yeah. So well, he's a fullback. I don't even know what they call a fullback anymore.
It's not the same as it used to be.
Yeah.
You know, the Tony Richardson days or the Mike Allstott days are gone.
Yeah.
So, OK, he could establish himself as a firm number two, and then you put that battle between him and Carson Steele and you could figure it out from there.
Yeah.
You remember Hunt was really good in goal line situations.
True.
So, there is some overlap between him and Steele, but at the same time, putting the two of them in together would probably be unstoppable in short yardage.
Yes, and I think that would definitely be under consideration.
So, let's say that Hunt learned his lesson and he's just dying for a chance. OK, why not?
But you also have your eyes on a couple other guys too.
Yeah.
Maybe sign someone to crack the squad and say, your insurance.
Yeah.
And that's it. Or maybe you want Carson Steele to take most of the load. I don't know.
I think he could do as, you know, 10 to 12 rushes a game. No problem.
I think he could easily. Yeah.
Yeah.
And I think he would be effective.
Yeah.
Not as effective as Pacheco because Pacheco was, he's still a work in progress, Pacheco. But man, he's just progressed so much.
Yeah. And having a change up at running back is always a good thing.
Yeah. So anyhow, we'll see what happens. All right. Do you want to go into our picks?
Let's do it.
All right.
First, we have Kansas City of Atlanta. This could be interesting.
Yeah. Close game.
I think so too.
I'm going to go Kansas City by three.
Okay.
But it's going to be really close until the final drive.
Yeah.
Okay. So you're saying KC by three.
KC by three. Okay. And I got to come up with a score. I'm going to say 32 to 29.
All right. I also think it's going to be really close. I'm going to go 27-25.
Okay.
Weird score.
I may went a little high too with the weird score, but oh well.
Something is saying it's going to be interesting about this game.
Yeah.
Brady's doing the play by play.
Is he going to hone in on the Holmes?
I think something he's going to talk about is the fact that his best bud in the world, Bill Belichick, was supposed to be the Atlanta Falcons head coach, but was passed over for the guy they got now.
Interesting.
So I think Brady's not going to be able to let that go. I think he's going to talk about what the Falcons would be if Belichick were the head coach.
Or he's going to insinuate, or he's going to be waiting to bring something up about, well, if Belichick had been coach right now.
I think he's going to bring up the fact that the Holmes has three Super Bowl rings and he's not even 30 yet.
Yeah. That's a good point.
Yeah.
And I think that that will come up generically. It will come up from somebody else.
Someone who has already an early career, he already has three Super Bowl rings and three MVPs.
And then Brady's going to kind of maybe say something like, you know, this guy has a chance at the record.
Erwin knows they're talking about him, but he may not say him.
Yeah. It's a valid betting point. It's worth bringing up and talking about pretty much every game this season.
But I think he's going to learn his lesson, not overly speak about it. Just vaguely go around the corners, not say, well, that's me he's trying to beat.
Yeah.
He's just going to kind of go, you know, he's got a shot at that. And then someone else might bring it up or may not.
But I think that you're going to see this one. He's going to be a lot more disciplined.
Yeah. I wasn't able to watch whatever game he was calling last Sunday.
I watched enough of it.
Yeah.
He was better.
That's good.
But he was good enough to where people weren't honing in on it nearly as bad.
Oh, good.
I mean, before the whole Internet erupted, every time he'd say something.
Yeah.
Either that or they just grown immune to it. I don't know.
I think at this game, he's going to be a little bit more reserved, a little bit more because there's stuff that he felt.
Here's what I think. He has stuff that he can talk about.
He's like, OK, Patrick, coming after my, you know, three Super Bowls, not even 30 yet, coming after my title and also the Bill Belichick angle.
I think he's got angles that he can work there and he could really work.
And this is going to you're going to see if he has it in him or not.
Because if he can't work those two things, forget it. He's not a broadcaster.
Good point. Good point. Because he's had enough time.
I'm sure he's had plenty of guidance and coaching.
And this should be a fairly easy game for him to call.
Yeah.
So, yeah, if he stinks the place up, then you really got to kind of wonder what you got.
Yeah, I agree.
Yeah.
So I hope he really does well and I hope he brings something really different.
Like he doesn't do the same old party line that everyone seems.
That's what I'm waiting on. I'm waiting for his personality.
I believe he would have to have personality to lead people to that many victories, that many Super Bowl victories.
He has to have personality.
A good testing point for that would be the first time there's a serious fight on the field.
Now, the NFL League office has approved the word chippy, and that's the only word broadcasters are allowed to use when there's a fight.
They can't say fight. They can't say punching. They have to say, oh, they're getting chippy.
That's right.
Because that's the league approved word.
Let's see if Tom Brady goes along with the company line and says chippy, which sounds so stupid.
I'm going to say he's going to say something like there appears to be an altercation.
Yeah, I think he's going to avoid trying to use that little cutesy dumbass word chippy.
I don't think that's in him.
I don't think it is. I don't think he's going to use it. I don't think he's going to say the mandated word.
No. I don't think he's going to go, there appears to be some sort of an altercation. The refs are getting involved. That's it.
Yep. Because you notice when the announcers talk about players getting chippy, they always do it with a laugh in their voice.
Yeah, they do. Yeah.
They're just letting you know, oh, these are like little boys arguing over a stick.
There's so many emotions.
These are grown ass men who weigh two, 300 pounds and they're seriously trying to damage each other.
Beating the hell out of each other.
On live TV. But so the NFL is like, oh, chippy, ha ha ha, they're getting chippy.
If they say that, I'm liable to turn it the fuck off. I mean, no, this is not working.
I mean, that's what they do every single time. So we'll see if Brady has been tamed enough to use the dumb ass approved word of chippy.
I agree.
Yeah. It'll be interesting.
Yeah, it will be.
Again, like typical, I'm expecting the game to be close all the way through.
And that's what the Chiefs do.
Yeah. And it's Sunday night game. So, you know, you're going to be staying up late watching it before going to work Monday.
That's going to be kind of sucky.
Oh, a lot of people are going to be like, oh.
And if the Chiefs lose in a bad way, there's going to be a lot of sick calls Monday morning.
You know that.
Oh, yeah, there is. I forgot. Did they flex it on Monday night or was it scheduled?
I think it was Sunday night. I think it was scheduled. Sunday night.
Because this is the second of five night games we have this season.
That's right. That's right.
The final one of the season says to be determined, which it always is anymore.
But they can flex us into more night games. But already we've got five.
Between Thursday night, Monday night and Sunday night, we've got five night games.
Yeah. OK. Yeah, that's right. I forgot. OK.
So next on our list is New England at the Jets.
It's tough when they're not really good. I mean, they're OK. Neither team is really doing much.
I'm going to go with the Jets, but not spectacular.
I could go with that. Yeah.
I'm going to go 21-17 Jets.
Yeah, I can see that pretty close.
I'm going to go 13 to 24. I'm going to stretch it out a little bit because I think Aaron Rodgers is going to start to slowly improve game by game.
That's very possible.
So I think all things being equal, he's going to start putting up a few more points each game.
Yeah, I would agree. All right. We'll see.
What's the next one?
Giants at Cleveland.
Oh, well, the Giants suck and Cleveland are at least reasonable.
Yeah. In Cleveland.
If Deshaun Watson is still on the field. Yeah.
I'm going to give that to Cleveland by 20 to 10.
I just don't see the Giants scoring very many.
True. They don't seem to be all that explosive or dynamic.
No, nothing about them.
Yeah. And this could be a watch year for their head coach, Brian Dable.
Oh, yeah. He's under watch. Yeah. Just like Doug Peterson.
Yeah. So I'm going to go lower scoring also. I'm going to go 28-6.
Oh, okay. Yeah.
You're probably closer, but I'm giving the Giants a little bit of power there and saying, you know what, they're not going to get that disgraced this early, but we'll see.
I like to go out on a limb and predict some higher scores just to see.
I got one of them coming up for sure.
All right. Chicago at Indy.
Chicago should win this.
They should, but I'm not sure. I mean, did Caleb Williams kind of have a smackdown? He kind of did.
He kind of came back to earth. Yeah, he did.
It's not like he was spectacular on the first one. No.
No, that was a, they won turnover, stuff like that. He was not spectacular. He threw for a hundred and some yards.
The first one he threw for 94 yards.
94 yards. Yeah. And this one's a hundred and some. So he's improving.
Yeah.
I'm going to say right now you're going to get a fair, fair play out of him.
So I'm going to go, I'm going to pick Indy. It's at home and Indy has played well so far. Yeah.
So I'm going to go 17-14 Indy.
I was going to pick Indy too. They're 0-1-2. They're playing at home. They've got a decent team.
They're playing decently. And I like Richardson, I think is his name, their quarterback that they think is going to be it.
I like some of the stuff he does. I think he progresses a little bit more.
I'm going to go Indy by 24-17. Sounds good.
I think Chicago's going to do okay, but. Not enough.
Indy's going to put it together. I really don't see this being a back and forth game either.
I think Indy's going to take the lead and hold it. Yeah.
I think Caleb Williams has a lot of growing to do. Yeah.
But, I mean, we'll see, man. Right now he's at that critical point where he's got to keep his self-esteem up.
Yeah, Chicago's a bad team to be on when you're at that point.
They're the graveyard of quarterbacks. Yeah.
I mean, he might as well be on the Panthers. I mean, we'll see.
I'm trying to think in my lifetime, have the Bears ever had a franchise quarterback?
Well, you were alive during Jim McMahon. Well, he wasn't very good.
He was okay. He was good at the Super Bowl shuffle.
Yeah. He was kind of a wild gunslinger, and he was always fighting with the coach.
Their defense is what won that one. I mean, and then they had the refrigerator pairing.
Yeah. No, I don't know.
And before that, I mean, I remember in like in 81-82, the Bears were like winning two games a season.
Yeah. And then they turned it around for the 85 championship,
and then they fell off the face of the earth again.
I can't think of a Bears franchise quarterback in my lifetime.
You know what? I can't either. Jim McMahon is the closest, and he's not good.
Did they have Jay Cutler for a while? He was decent, but not a franchise.
Yeah, like their Elway, their Montana, their Mahomes.
Yeah, no, they never did.
Back in the 50s and 60s, I think they had some pretty hot quarterbacks.
Sid Luckman, I think, was one who really did well for them.
The pre-Super Bowl days, they had quite a few.
Yeah. So in the Super Bowl era, they have yet to find a franchise.
They're trying to find a franchise quarterback. They just can't do it.
I mean, let's see, Trubisky, Fields, and now Williams.
They keep trying to get that guy, but I don't think they can bring the cast of him around to it.
You know, when Mahomes went to Kansas City, they had the cast.
Yeah. They had everything he needed to succeed, and he did.
Yep.
Carolina, even Denver to a pretty good extent.
Also Chicago, when you bring a rookie quarterback into there,
they don't really have an offensive line. They don't have a throw-to.
They don't have a runner, a consistent runner.
Yeah. So those are not good circumstances, because they're going to get their ass kicked right off the bat.
Yeah, it's like being on an expansion team.
Yes.
And you know, at some point, the NFL needs to seriously look at,
here are these awesome young quarterbacks getting drafted and coming into the league,
and they're getting destroyed by these bad teams who don't know how to handle them.
Yeah.
So the NFL is thrilled to have as many good quarterbacks as they do right now.
You know, the top-flight guys like Mahomes and Burrow and Allen, blah, blah.
Imagine if they had like 17 of them in the league.
They would love that.
Oh, they would love that. And every day is a dream.
Yeah. And I really think the NFL needs to look at these teams and say,
you know what, we're going to give you the number one overall pick in the draft,
but you can't draft a quarterback, because you're just going to wreck him,
and other people are going to use him better,
so we're not going to waste this precious resource on your crappy team.
That's when you have an air quotations lottery.
Yes. Good point. They'll have a lottery,
and it will be won by the team that can most use that talent
for the betterment of the league as a whole.
Yeah, like NBA.
Yes.
So, I mean, one by one, the things that kind of leave it up to chance
are getting managed, controlled, or just outright eliminated
to streamline the NFL product into something that they think we want,
which is, you know, lots of exciting high-scoring games every week
where everyone's playing great.
Yeah, and that's not necessarily happening.
No, and that's not realistic, but they're trying to get there,
and putting a good quarterback on a crappy team is bad for business.
The cutting edge is the Chiefs of San Francisco,
and both of them have tremendous defenses,
and they have a good quarterback, we have a great quarterback, of course.
So, I mean, really, the league has kind of gone away from the put it on my back guy.
Yeah, yeah, they want flash, they want quick scores, they want explosive offenses,
and at the same time, having a defense that can be exciting
and shut someone down or make an interception or something,
that's great for business, too.
Well, the scoop and score, that's what they love from the Chiefs.
Oh, no, they're going to lose this, oh, no, they're going to,
oh, wait a minute, they're back in it.
In my childhood, there were a lot of football games that ended up scores of like 17 to 10.
Mm-hmm, me too.
And that is just death on TV nowadays.
Oh, I remember, I'd go out in the yard, hey, it's a nice day,
I'm going to go throw the baseball around or whatever.
Yeah, I mean, and it would be normal to see a team get up by 17 points,
and then there'd be like, you know, six punts in a row because no one can move the ball.
I'd be like, Mom said I am.
It's like, oh, well, oh, well.
Mom's going to give me five bucks to rake the leaves, I'm going to do that,
I'm not going to sit here and watch this garbage.
Yeah.
Yeah, so.
But, you know, the modern model for the NFL is make it something where the people,
if they're not actually paying attention every moment,
they're at least in front of the screen every moment.
Yes, I agree.
That's what they want.
They're trying to get it, but I don't think they can ever truly get that.
There's too many components.
I mean, you know, defenses are good.
You know, just like the quarterback position has excelled over the years, same with defense.
Yeah.
Same thing.
Now, it would be interesting to see if the NFL tries to use the UFL as a minor league.
That was the plan.
Yeah.
I remember reading that before it was even actually in existence.
Yeah.
That that was the plan.
They want a minor league system.
Yeah, they can't really use college because, number one, college football is too huge.
Number two, they don't run pro-style offenses necessarily.
No, no, they don't.
Not even close.
Yeah.
Okay, colleges, too, they're trying to keep money out of it also,
even though that's complete bullshit.
We know that.
Yeah.
But primarily on the surface, they want money left out of it.
So if they make that a minor league, then it's going to be nothing but money.
Right.
And no college coach is going to be happy making a push for a bowl game,
and then his best players get called up to the majors.
Yeah.
Oops.
Yeah.
So I can see a separate league.
Remember, NFL Europe was supposed to be the minor league.
Yeah.
Nobody gave a shit.
Yeah, they chose really bad designs for the uniforms.
They made them cartoonish and childish.
They put them in cities that weren't necessarily football towns,
and then they made sure that these teams had no talent whatsoever.
See, Europe already has a football.
Yes.
Yeah.
It's a round ball with black and white pattern that you kick.
Yeah, and they really primarily give a shit about that and nothing else.
Yeah.
Okay, what's the next one?
Next up, we have Houston at Minnesota.
I hope this one's on TV.
I hope so too, because I think Minnesota's got pretty good defense.
CJ Stroud took a step back.
Him and Diggs don't seem to be on the same page right now.
Yeah.
So...
And they don't seem to have much of a running game, even though they've got Joe Mixon.
Yeah, I'm going to go ahead and go with Houston despite all that.
All right.
And the reason is because the Vikings had a huge game against San Francisco.
I don't see them doing that two games in a row.
Yeah, true.
I think that they got a team developing, but they're going to be highly inconsistent.
So that's inconsistent.
I'm going to say it's going to be 27-2.
Before you guess how many Minnesotans get, remember Justin Jefferson's out.
Oh, yeah, yeah, 20-22.
27-22?
I got 21-20, also Houston.
Okay.
So that gives Minnesota two touchdowns and two field goals over the four quarters.
I think that's about all they're going to get.
And Houston is going to hold on in a close game.
Yeah, yeah, Houston's going to eat one out.
Which, you know, for Houston, that's probably a really good idea to go into a hostile environment and win tough.
That does wonders for your team's confidence.
That builds a team character.
I mean, look at the Chiefs team last year.
I mean, they really didn't.
They had to have toughness because for many games they had nothing.
Yeah.
Defense, they had defense, but anyhow, go ahead.
Sounds like this is going to be a fairly defensive game, but...
I think so.
...helped by the fact that Minnesota's offense is going to be hamstrung.
No pun intended.
Yeah.
Our next one is Philadelphia at New Orleans.
I'm going to go to New Orleans.
Yeah, I would say that.
Philadelphia's, if they don't bounce back and have a good game, they're going to be...
the first half of their season at least will probably be tanked.
I'm not saying the whole season, but Philly needs to come out and play really well in order to salvage the first half of their season.
I don't think it's going to happen.
Right now they're firing in all cylinders.
I'm going to go with the hot hand.
I'm going to go with New Orleans.
I'm going to say they're going to score 32...
Yeah?
...to 24.
That was a good group of girls out there.
Okay, we're pretty close.
I'm going to go 21-35.
Yeah, we both have the same idea.
So we both have the Saints scoring a lot.
Excuse me, a lot.
Whatever those guys were bringing from somewhere, it sure smells good.
Yeah, it did.
Oh, I don't know what that was, but jeez.
Onions and peppers.
Yeah, oh, I bet you it's from Corollos.
Oh, yeah, I'll bet so.
Hey, we mentioned on our podcast they should give us free food.
That's right.
Oh, wait, but that would make us endorsement whores.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
Oh, yeah, I wonder what the Filthy Bean's doing.
Oh, yeah, we haven't been to the Filthy Bean in forever.
Yeah, has Rick ever got a hold of you?
No, he sent an email like about six months back, but it was just about some specials and things.
It wasn't a personal email.
Well, what really seemed to turn this when Rob ran down there naked through the terrarium.
Yeah.
Yeah, that really changed everything.
Yeah, yeah, that was unfortunate.
Yeah, it was.
I mean, I told him not to, but he said, no, no, no, for old times' sake, watch this.
He said, hold my beer.
Hold my beer.
Yeah, I think he got mad at us over that.
And then the vomiting incident.
I apologize.
I mean, I don't know how.
Yeah, I apologize again, Rick.
That got him in trouble with the health department.
Yeah, yeah, I understand.
Got him a fine.
Oh, well.
Yeah.
Easy come, easy go.
And the chocolates.
We kept taking the chocolates.
That pissed him off.
Even the ones from behind the counter, they're trying to sell.
Oh, yeah, they took them too.
We're a good job with them.
Yeah.
I heard our booth is scribbled on now.
Yeah, yeah, we might lose the naming rights if we don't go back there and show up.
Yeah.
Oh, wow.
Someone called Two Fuck Nuts and a Recorder.
Oh, yeah.
They did it.
They scratched their name in it.
All right.
Well, nothing good ever lasts.
At least we had our moment in the sun there.
Yeah, maybe.
Maybe we could be the sports bastards.
Yeah, we'll be the sports bastards after the filthy beer.
We'll get another table.
Hey, a booth.
We'll get a booth this time.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's it.
Yeah, we'll get a whole booth.
Now fewer people can throw shit at us.
Yeah, maybe we can get a screen.
We'll talk to Rick about getting a screen.
Oh, yeah.
We'll put up a little flat screen.
We can comment on the games.
We can start flipping people off again.
Yeah.
Yeah, that'd be great.
Oh, you meant a screen screen.
I meant even like a TV screen.
Oh, no, no.
We'll get both.
A screen screen.
Both.
Yeah, we'll get a big chicken wire screen so they can't throw their beer bottles at us.
And then we'll get a flat screen so we can watch the games and make fun of the...
I'll tell you what, those beer bottles fucking hurt after all.
Yes, they do.
Anyhow.
All right, next up on the slaughtering block is the Los Angeles Chargers at Pittsburgh Steelers.
Pittsburgh Steelers.
I'm going to go Steelers.
You know, it's tempting.
It is tempting.
Yeah, you think the Chargers is going to go 3-0?
Damn.
Man, that makes it so tough, you know?
Mike Tomlin has seemed to have an answer for everything so far.
Yeah.
Fair quarterback play, no problem.
He seems to play around all his issues.
Yeah.
Jim Harbaugh is doing great, but I still think that he has to get his footing a little bit
more.
Yeah.
They haven't really been proven so far.
I think this is a game that's going to test him.
I think it's going to be close.
Yeah, it's a good testing game.
Yeah, close, but no cigar.
I'm going to say probably 27 to 14.
I think they're going to quell him really good in this game.
I'm going to better pin this thing just like to dry out.
I think Herbert's going to throw an interception or two.
Yeah.
Huh.
You know what, I think I'm going to take the Chargers after all.
I think the Chargers are going to be able to put together a little more offense.
I'm going to take the Chargers 21-17.
Yeah, you see I have the problem having Pittsburgh go 3-0 as to the Chargers going 3-0.
I think on the surface it looked like the Chargers have a better chance, but I just
got a gut feeling.
Yeah.
Mike Tomlin has handled everything else really well.
I'm going to go with him.
All right.
Well, we've disagreed on a couple so far.
This is what we want.
Yeah.
That way there's a clear cut winner.
Excuse me.
Actually, oh, I've got the score wrong on the KC Atlanta game.
You said 32-29 KC.
Yes.
I have it the other way around.
All right, so we only disagree on one so far.
Okay.
Excuse me.
This one will be easy.
Denver at Tampa Bay.
Tampa Bay.
Oh, yeah.
It's no question.
Their linebackers or whatever you call it, defense events, are going to have a feast
on Knicks.
Yeah.
Bo Knicks is going to be slapped down once again, and they're going to look at him as
possible benching.
Who's behind Knicks on the depth chart, right off the top of your bat?
I don't because Drew Walk left last year.
He was with Seattle.
Yeah.
Hold on.
Oh, Zach Wilson.
Zach Wilson, that's right.
As far as I know, they have Zach Wilson.
Yeah.
It would surprise me if Zach Wilson will have a starting job in another game or two.
Yeah.
I'm going to say 27-6.
Yeah.
I'm kind of going along those lines.
I'm going to say Denver will score 10, but Tampa Bay is going to score 30.
Okay.
We're both picking pretty much a lot side of victory.
Yeah.
Denver just doesn't have it going on.
No.
Tampa Bay is just improving each week.
I predict this could be Sean Payton.
It might be his finale in Denver.
Could be.
What is it, four years now?
Let's see.
He didn't have the team last year, did he?
Yeah.
Yeah, that's right.
He had the team last year.
The first thing they did was they got Russell Wilson with Sean Payton.
They got them both in tangent with each other, thinking that they could work it out.
Yeah.
Because he wasn't there the year before and Russell Wilson stunk the place up.
Yes.
And then Payton comes in, has a year with Russell Wilson.
They still can't make it work.
Oh, that's right.
They weren't brought in together.
You're right.
They brought Sean Payton in thinking he could work with Wilson.
Yeah.
That's right.
So that's four years.
So this is going into the fifth year, and he's still not getting results.
As a matter of fact, he's going backwards, not forwards.
I think that they're just going to say, no, this is not working.
But that'll be a late season one.
I don't think that's going to be the first three or four games.
True, true.
And Sean's going to be one of those guys that he made it work and see it in New Orleans,
but it just doesn't translate to another franchise.
Yeah, I agree.
Okay.
Did you tell your score?
30 to 10.
All right.
Yeah, I think that's pretty much where that sits.
All right, what's the next one?
Green Bay at Tennessee.
Green Bay, Tennessee is disarrayed right now.
They benched their quarterback, and the guy was, I forgot the name of their new head coach.
He was a complete dick about it.
I don't remember his name either.
Yeah, but it's like he wanted to embarrass the quarterback.
It's not what you do.
You got to nurture him.
Yeah.
And you know, do you really think that quarterback is going to be interested in fighting real hard for that head coach ever again?
Hell no.
It'd be, screw that guy.
I'm going somewhere else.
Yeah.
And then the head coach doubled down, saying, well, I stand by the emotions and feelings in the moment,
but maybe I should have done it later or done the coach.
But I stand by what I felt in the moment.
So he's kind of not apologizing.
Titan's head coach.
He's apologizing, but not apologizing.
Sorry, not sorry.
Yeah.
No, I agree.
So you're going with Green Bay.
I'm going to...
Oh, Green Bay.
20 to 10.
That sounds about right because neither one of them got their starting quarterback.
Yeah.
Brian Callahan.
Yeah.
Bill Callahan's kid.
Yeah, I didn't like him from the start.
I didn't like Bill Callahan and I don't like Brian Callahan.
And he did that maliciously towards Levis.
And I think that it's going to come back on.
I think he probably lost the team.
When I was watching the coverage of that this morning, they mentioned Brian Callahan,
and they mentioned, you know, oh, well, he learned a lot from his father, Bill Callahan,
the great coach of the Raiders.
And I thought, great coach of the Raiders?
The one that didn't do any more offensive plays when the ex-Raiders coach went to Tampa
and then they faced each other.
He used Tom Gurren's complete de-offense.
Yeah.
He's a moron.
Yeah, that guy, shouldn't he be an offensive coordinator being that stupid, in my opinion?
He was so stupid that he in college didn't want him back.
Yeah, they're like, no, you stay in the pro.
The pro's like, no, you go back to college.
But, you know, typical NFL, they've got to suck everyone's dick and make everyone,
you know, talk everyone up as, you know, special and wonderful and fantastic
because they don't want to admit that they've ever made a mistake.
Yeah, Brian Callahan's ass, there's unicorns popping out of him right now.
Yeah.
No kidding.
Yeah.
I'm going to go 21-10 just to be different.
Okay.
You and I are pretty much on the same page.
Yeah.
Tennessee's not going to be able to score much because they're just not going to know what they're doing.
The backup's in there.
Callahan can't, he cannot go back on it now.
He's going to make it last at least three games.
You know what's going to be his nightmare is if the backup goes in there and gets hurt,
then you just need to put in.
Levis will probably be like, what was that?
Yeah.
What?
You put Levis back in or you go to your emergency quarterback?
Yeah.
He was probably the punter.
That would be, I mean, I'm not wishing ill on the Titans quarterback,
but that would be interesting to see the Titans lose their quarterback and have to go back to.
Mike Treble's laughing somewhere.
Yeah.
I mean, if you're going to get rid of a guy that done reasonably well and went to playoffs a few times,
you better find someone good.
Yeah.
They get what they get.
I don't feel sorry for them.
No.
Okay.
Let's see.
Up next, we got another easy one.
Carolina at Las Vegas.
Las Vegas, 27-3.
I can see that.
I don't see anything from Carolina.
Nothing.
Not one little glimmer of hope.
They could be the first ever 0-16 team.
They are 0-17, yeah.
Oh, 0-17.
Yeah.
Yeah, I could see that.
I think this is the game where the Raiders get healthy on somebody.
Yeah.
And they're going to just beat the crap out of the Panthers 28-6.
Or, yeah, 28-6.
Both teams are doing poorly, but the Raiders are at home.
They're angry, and they've got enough going on that they can take advantage of just a complete dumpster fire that Carolina is.
Yeah.
It's not going to be a very entertaining game to watch.
No, it's going to be the ones where they interrupt and go to...
Yeah.
It's going to be a mediocre team beating up on a bad team.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's pretty much all I got right there.
I mean, really, the rest will speak on the field.
Yeah, some of these games you really don't need to go into a lot depth because there's just not much there.
Well, number one, people be turning our podcast off.
Yeah.
We will lose our three listeners real quick.
Yes, all three of them.
All three of them.
Actually, the sportscasts are doing better than the regular ones.
Yeah.
Cool.
Yeah.
I kind of figured that though, man.
Everybody's into sports.
Yeah, it's kind of the moment to strike.
Yeah, it's like an easy market or kind of or whatever.
Even the sucky people get 10 people listening.
Yeah.
All right.
What is it?
So we got next is Miami at Seattle.
So who's starting for Miami this year?
I think Tago Vio is still out because he did have a concussion, right?
Yeah.
Okay.
Against Seattle?
Yeah.
I think Seattle is still going to be riding high and they're going to win this 24-23 because
I'd like to earmark this.
When Tago Viola went out, they did not score.
Not even came close to scoring.
Yeah.
They got Skyler Thompson as their backup.
Yeah, from K-State.
Somebody mentioned some backup quarterback whose nickname was Snoop.
I can't remember what the guy's name was.
Menace?
No, not Snoop.
That's what I thought of, Snoop Menace.
It's like...
Because you know you know.
Yeah.
It was a come on article on Google News saying Miami may have just found the perfect quarterback
to replace Tua.
And then I clicked on it.
It was some no name who's, I think, on somebody's practice squad.
It's like, seriously, this is what you really wanted to click, didn't you?
Yep.
So I've got Seattle winning 24-17 because Miami's not going to be able to score.
They're not going to have a real consistent offense.
And Seattle's on a one game roll.
They're feeling excited.
So I definitely see Miami struggling, which is a shame because I didn't pick really high this season.
We'll see when Tua gets back, if he comes back.
All right.
After that, we have Detroit at Arizona.
Wow.
I think Detroit's bound for a bounce back game in Arizona.
It's bound for a let down game.
You think, yeah.
I don't think it's going to be high scoring.
It's going to be a classic old 20-22 to 15.
I'm giving it an odd score.
All right.
So Detroit 22-15.
I'm going to go the opposite way.
I'm going to say Arizona, going to go 27-20 over Detroit.
You think Detroit's kind of falling apart?
I think Detroit is stumbling a little bit.
OK.
They put together an awesome run last season and into the playoffs, and they haven't recaptured that yet.
And also, it really hurt them the fact that they could have won that game several times.
Yeah.
But because the coach made a couple of bad decisions.
I don't blame him, though.
I don't blame him for going for it.
I think he needed to.
They couldn't get it done simply.
And blowing that big lead, I think that got him mentally.
Yeah, and that's still done some damage that hasn't healed yet.
Yeah.
I think, you know, very well talking it over.
The Cardinals could win this, but I'm going to go ahead and stick to that.
OK.
So there's another one we have a little opposite on.
Yeah.
Here's an entertaining one.
Baltimore at Dallas.
OK.
Dallas plays much better at home.
Yeah.
Baltimore looks extremely sloppy and also undisciplined.
Yes.
I agree with that.
But so does Dallas.
That's true.
So you got to figure home field's going to give them three points.
I'm going to go with Baltimore.
I think they cannot go 0-3.
That would really hurt them.
Definitely.
I think Dallas is a has-been anyhow.
I think they're descending, not ascending.
I think Baltimore is about the same.
Maybe a little bit better with Travis Henry, even though they're not playing like it.
Yeah.
32 to 19.
I think once Jackson sees home, he's going to start just killing them.
Yep.
All right.
I'm going to go the other way.
OK.
I'm relying on Dallas to do their usual form of getting people excited in the preseason
and then doing well in the first part of the season and beating up on some decent teams
and some other scrub teams and then pissing it all away in the second half of the season.
So I think Dallas is going to take advantage and hit Baltimore while they're down.
I'm going 26-13 Dallas.
And Baltimore is going to leave Dallas in a state of flux.
They're either going to turn it around and be amazing or they're just going to suck the rest of the year
and just limp along into nothingness.
So I think this is going to be...
I'm putting a lot of weight on this game.
It's the third game of the season for Baltimore.
But I think if Baltimore wins, it's going to really turn them around.
Yeah.
Because they won in Dallas.
And if Baltimore loses, it's going to be a free-for-all.
And the coach is going to have a hard time getting his team back.
I look for McCarthy might be on the watch too.
Yeah.
Jerry Jones only had patients with one guy and that was Jason Garrett.
Everyone else he got out quickly.
No, no, no, you know.
So I think Mike McCarthy is also on the firing list too.
You've got to wonder about Baltimore's coach because they've had a lot of talent.
John Harbaugh, yeah.
And they've had Lamar Jackson and they're still not getting there.
They probably fired the general manager before Harbaugh.
Yeah, and also I think John Harbaugh has a hell of a case going,
we're always going up against Mahomes.
Yeah, yeah, it's kind of hard to...
It's kind of hard to not... yeah.
I mean, who was it that said, they said, there's a lot of good teams that won't get rings because of Patrick Mahomes.
Yeah. A lot of teams that would have gotten rings that won't.
Yeah.
I can't remember who said that, but I got to think about it and it's true.
Think of all the teams that didn't get rings because of Brady.
Yes.
Or Montana or every other dynasty.
Yeah, so the same thing and it's true.
I hope this game is on in our area.
I hope so too. I want to see that.
Even though I don't usually watch Dallas games,
I would like to see the Baltimore Dallas game to see how Baltimore handles their adversity.
I want to see if there's one ounce of spark in either team.
Yeah, good point. Yeah.
So, yeah, you know what? This is good.
Did we both agree or did we disagree?
Yeah, I picked Dallas, you picked Baltimore.
Yeah.
Both by pretty good margins.
That's good.
Yeah.
This is going to be a good game.
This might be the game that tilts to one way or the other this round.
About the only way it could suck for us is it would wound up being like a 10-10 tie.
Yeah.
Then we'd both be sunk.
We'd be like, all right, we're going to get an invisible-ass path lead if that happens.
We would deserve it.
All right, three more games to go.
San Francisco, this is a Sunday night game, I guess.
San Francisco at the Rams.
San Francisco.
Hard to pick against them in this situation, even on the road.
Yeah, I'm going to say, you know, Brock Purdy is having a little bit of problems with pass rushes this year.
The Rams, traditionally, even though they're playing like shit, have a good pass rush.
I'm going to say 27-20, and that will be San Francisco.
It's going to be by seven points, yeah, but it's going to be a lot closer than that, and it's going to be a nut-tucker.
And I see it going San Francisco's way.
I think I'm going to go with San Francisco, also.
They have a better overall team.
They're not really playing all that well right at the moment, but they'll, you know, George Kittle can have a good day, and then you win the game.
The Rams have been kind of underperforming and underachieving.
They're division rivals, so that kind of helps negate the home field advantage.
We'll also see San Francisco seeing blood in the water.
0-3. We get these guys 0-3, we'll cross them off the list.
Yeah. There really doesn't seem to be a lot of low-scoring games anymore, so I don't really think this is going to be low-scoring, but not real high.
Yeah, they find a way to at least seek out a couple of touchdowns, maybe a field goal or two. So, yeah.
I'm going to go 27-17 San Francisco.
Okay. 10-point difference, but still fairly close.
I have a 7-point difference. Yeah, that's pretty good. Really close.
All right. Now we have two Monday night games. The first one is Jacksonville at Buffalo.
Buffalo?
Yeah.
32-10.
Ooh.
I can see a blowout.
The Dutch Peterson watch is getting worse.
Yeah, yeah. Buffalo is going to want to win and win big at home.
It's somebody that Buffalo has had to worry about in the playoffs the last few years.
They've got a chip on their shoulder.
Yeah.
Wait, I want to see what the next game is for Buffalo. I may want to take that back. Hang on.
All right. Buffalo season schedule.
While you're looking that up, I'm going to go Buffalo as well.
Buffalo-Berle season schedule.
Okay. Let's not do it in the middle.
All right. Now that's not too much.
I'm debating on how many points to give Jacksonville in this game.
20 seems like too much.
I'm going to put down 17.
All right. I've got Buffalo beating Jacksonville 31-17.
Okay. As of right now, I said 32-10, right?
Yeah.
And if this will ever load up, it will tell me the damn games.
Oh, they play the Ravens.
I'm sticking with it.
And they play in Baltimore too.
Yeah. I think that they feel that they can beat the Ravens.
Yeah.
So I don't think it's going to be a look ahead game.
Yeah. All right.
So you have 32-10, I have 31-17.
Yeah. Not that far off.
And then the second Monday night game, which could be fun to watch,
Washington at Cincinnati.
Ooh.
I think we're going to see a quarterback on his way up
and a quarterback that's turning out to be not what they thought.
I think that their streak of losing continues.
I do too.
I think Washington's going to get it probably 23-17.
I like that.
Put that down.
I know they played us well,
but I don't see anything about that team that really stands out.
No, no.
The one defensive end that kept hitting my homes, I forgot his name,
Henderson?
Henrickson.
He looked good.
Burroughs looked average.
They had a good game plan.
They were turning to their tight ends.
Yes.
And they were getting anywhere from 7 to 15 yards in a chunk.
Oh, they're coming to get us.
Yeah, I think they are.
While you were looking on your phone, I was peeing against the wall here.
Oh, that's it.
They'll probably get me for that.
Yeah.
So you got Washington 23-17.
Yeah.
I'm also going to pick Washington.
All right.
So I think that's what I think is going to happen.
Washington is going to get up early.
Cincinnati is going to struggle to come back and start blowing it
and then melt down on the field.
So I'm going to go with a classic Super Bowl blowout score of 35 to 10.
Yes, yes.
That was the score by which the Chiefs lost to the Packers in Super Bowl I.
35 to 10.
Okay.
And I think that's – wasn't that the score where the Redskins beat the Broncos in the Super Bowl?
I believe so.
They scored all 35 of their points in the first half and then just coasted the second half.
Was that Williams?
Doug Williams.
Doug Williams, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, I think that was the score.
So that's a classic score of 35 to 10.
I think it's going to be significant too.
Yeah.
Awesome.
Okay.
All right.
I like both our picks on that.
I think they're really well thought out.
Yeah.
If we can stay up late enough, we can watch that game.
Yeah.
We'll see.
What's the Thursday night game this week?
I just had it.
Here I thought the San Francisco Rams game was the Sunday night game.
It's the Chiefs game.
It's the Sunday night game.
It's the Chiefs game, the Sunday night game, yeah.
Darn.
All right.
This week, Thursday night football game.
That is New England and New York Jets.
Okay.
Yeah, okay.
Yeah, the big one in town is going to be those.
Okay.
Anyhow.
All right.
Well, I have some old bullet points.
I love bullet points.
I do too.
I like this.
I'm going to start doing this on every one where we discuss what the hot topics are.
Okay.
Are the Ravens not that good or are the Raiders that good?
I think the Ravens are better than the Raiders.
It's going to take the rest of the season to really have it play out.
Baltimore is kind of up and down right off the bat.
Yes.
And the Raiders pretty much are starting down and go up.
Yeah, I think that Baltimore is a better team obviously.
Yeah.
But I don't think they're playing exceptionally well.
And I think it started against the Chiefs and it's went down since then.
I don't see them ascending for a little while.
They've got to watch it though.
They got it.
They're 0-2.
They can't afford another loss.
Yeah.
The Ravens are a better team for now.
Raiders need to figure out their quarterback.
Yeah, McConnell is not the...
Minshew.
Oh, Minshew.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, Minshew.
So they get that figured out.
I think they can make a decent run for a wild card business.
Yeah, with Max Crosby and all those guys.
Yeah, absolutely.
Max Crosby is just a freak.
Oh my gosh.
I would love to have him on the Chiefs.
Oh man, that would be good.
Except we really don't have room for him. We've got Chris Jones.
We've got Carl Ofthus.
Yeah, I mean Carl Ofthus is...
We really don't have room for Max.
Max Crosby is an every down player.
Him and Jones are such a one-two combo.
Yeah.
It's amazing, man. Carl Ofthus, he could sneak up behind him and just tear him down.
Jones, they hear him.
They hear him coming.
Yeah.
They see these huge hands in their face.
And then Carl Ofthus run around the back trying to like smack the ball out.
Yep.
And trip him up.
Yeah.
And then they're like Velociraptors in Jurassic Park.
They hunt in packs.
Yes.
And then you could have the occasional sneak up too from the cornerback or something like that.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's good.
So yeah, I think Raiders have a chance.
Overall, I think Baltimore's got the better opportunity to turn their season around and do well this year.
And really if the Raiders don't, no one's going to be surprised.
Yeah, it's just going to be okay.
Well, they're still rebuilding.
Yeah.
They don't have the guy they thought Garoppolo is going to be that guy.
He's not.
Perfect excuse.
Oh well, first year head coach.
New quarterback.
That's why they didn't do well.
So they've got those building excuses to fall back on if the season doesn't work out so well.
Yeah, I think that's what's going to happen too.
But I think it's going to be more respectable though.
I think it may be eight, nine seasons.
Yeah, closer to 500 than they did.
Last year was what, seven and ten?
Yeah, it's going to be closer to 500.
Yeah.
But still, nothing new.
It's important to show that improvement too.
Yeah, and especially with a new coach.
Yeah.
All right, next one.
Bengals, good team, horrible coaching.
I'd say so.
They definitely got the talent.
And there are flashes where it shows on the field very clearly.
But they're also really bad mistakes and poor choices being made.
Poorly coached in a lot of areas.
Yeah.
Let me take this a step further now.
All right.
We both agreed with this earlier.
Right?
We both think they're a horribly coached team.
Yeah.
Okay.
Burrow, good enough to make the highlight reels but not to lead a team to the promised land.
Yeah.
He's exciting and fun to watch, but that's about all you get out of him is exciting and
fun.
Yeah, you don't really get much more.
Yeah.
You don't get a perennial winner.
No.
And the Joe Cool attitude is not helping him because you want Joe fired up and hungry.
You want Joe ready to kick some ass because he wants it.
Instead he's like laid back and chill and mellow and just happy to be here.
That doesn't fit.
I go back to what I said earlier.
The Holmes comes out there and he tells Likely, shut up.
Shut up and leave.
Yep.
Likely shuts up and leaves.
Burrow gets out there and he just kind of pushes him away.
Get out of here.
Yep.
I'm doing something.
That right there, that lack of respect tells me everything.
Yeah.
Jamar Chase.
We're going to talk about Jamar Chase.
Oh, Jamar Chase, not Likely.
Yeah.
Likely is also doing that too.
I'm not trying to play footsie with you.
I just, I fidget.
I thought you were trying to kick me going, Jamar Chase.
Jamar Chase.
No, I just fidget.
Yeah.
Chase just kind of pushed him away like, get out of here.
Yeah.
And he had more than he wanted to say and he was going to say it and he didn't care who
was telling him to shut up.
Yeah.
And Burrow had to jump in front of him and keep pushing him a little bit to get him to
do that.
Yeah.
That's.
Chase, even as big of an ego as he has, if the Holmes came up to him and said, shut your
mouth and go back there, he would.
Yeah.
Because of the respect factor.
Plus he knows that the Holmes has the respect of the team and the team will back him up
before they would back up.
Yes.
Chase.
And another thing is probably Chase is like, the guy that missed all last season, fuck
you.
Get out of my way.
I was playing.
Yeah.
You weren't here while we were fighting and dying.
Yeah.
So I'm telling you, yeah, not that good.
So I mean, good, but not that great.
So it was kind of like watching Perry Farrell and Dave Navarro on stage.
Oh yeah.
That was good.
I mean, I was all over that.
I watched the video.
Perry Farrell's excuse is that the audio mix was wrong and the stage volume was such that
the guitar was drowning out his vocals and he couldn't hear.
Okay.
I've been in lots of rock bands.
I've played on a lot of stages.
I'm calling bullshit on that right away.
Number one, Jane's Addiction will use in-ear monitors.
Yes.
So stage volume has zero to do with anything.
And if Perry Farrell couldn't hear, it's the sound guy's problem, not the guitar player.
Because the sound man or sound woman is totally in charge of all volumes.
So it's something else going on.
Dave Navarro left Jane's Addiction for a reason.
And apparently he's left again.
Yes.
They do not get along.
They don't like each other in the least.
It's Perry Farrell's Addiction.
Dave Navarro cleaned himself up.
Dave Navarro had a scary-ass drug habit, but he managed to get clean.
Perry Farrell still isn't.
Was that Perry Farrell or someone else that called Navarro a stinky Mexican?
I think that was Perry.
Okay.
Yeah.
And he's got to kind of like be in the back of Navarro's mind, too.
Yeah.
So I think whatever the fight is between them, it's nothing to do with stage volume or what
was happening on stage.
No, no, no.
It's an underlying symptom of what broke them up in the first place.
The first thing people did was go back over the last few concerts, and you can catch them
fighting on stage in those.
It just never went that far.
Yeah, yeah.
And then, okay, they have a cancer, and now the cancer's progressed and it's taken them
out again.
Yeah.
So they were in remission.
Yeah.
They got cancer again, and now it's gone.
They'll probably never be together again.
I wouldn't think.
Maybe they'll put out some studio albums or something, but I think Dave Navarro took 14
years, and this was an anniversary tour.
They were not even halfway through, and Perry Farrell can't keep it together to earn money.
Yeah.
You just don't need that in your professional career.
I think there was also a complaint that supposedly the singer was supposed to start his next
verse or whatever, and the guitar player played over him.
Usually that's pretty much rehearsed to death.
I know Jane's addiction shows aren't tightly as scripted as Taylor Swift or Rolling Stones
or whatever, where everything is exactly the same every night, so all the sound cues and
all the visual cues in.
Jane's addiction, they're a little more loose, but it's pretty easy to tell when somebody's
taking their turn to go longer on solo versus going back to the vocals.
There are all sorts of hand signals used on stage, and the fact that Perry Farrell was
trying to force his way in and shut down Dave Navarro's solo, and it's like, no, I want
to sing again.
Shut up.
You try to force his way in, Navarro would just keep playing, and then Perry Farrell
would go and scream at him on stage.
You can see that in several performances.
That's immaturity.
I mean, handle that.
Get your road manager or your tour manager together with the musician and say, look,
here's how we're going to do it so it goes smoothly and the audience gets a good show.
Instead, Farrell just acted like a spoiled brat on stage thinking, well, there's no Jane's
addiction without me.
Well, it turns out there isn't any Jane's addiction anymore no matter what.
That's it.
It's done.
It's all gone.
Yep.
Okay, the next one, Pacheco, out six to eight weeks.
Creamhunt is visiting the Chiefs on Wednesday.
We already talked about this, and I think he's in a position to where he has no choice
but to do if he has anything left in the tank, he's going to do it.
So if you're going to get the best Creamhunt there is, this is it.
And this is the best team Creamhunt's going to be on for the rest of his career, probably.
Yes, and he's not tearing this team apart.
He was let go, and he's coming back groveling.
So if he has a bad attitude, he'll be out the door within no time.
Oh, heck yeah.
So, and as far as the Chiefs go, they have a lot of running backs who would love to jump
on this team.
Yep.
So I think it might be a pretty good and wise choice to let him try.
Yeah, really nothing to lose.
Nothing at all.
Really is nothing to lose.
Justin Tucker, I put this in complete asshole, has missed six of his last seven field goal
kicks over 50 yards.
That's his Achilles heel.
Yes.
Ravens are going to need a reliable kicker.
That is going to hurt them a lot coming up.
Because if they're no better than what they showed, then I feel sorry for them in the
playoffs if they make it.
Justin Tucker is not that guy anymore.
He can't really nail an over 50 yarder like he used to with any accuracy.
Any consistency at all.
So when you come down in these playoff games, if they make it and it's down to three points
and you got a 57 yarder that needs to be made, he's not the guy now.
And in the Baltimore situation, you're playing against a lot of cold weather teams.
Yes.
Pittsburgh, Cincinnati.
Oh, that's a great.
And who's the fourth one?
Cleveland.
Cleveland, yeah.
Yeah.
All of those cities are at least as far north as Kansas City.
Yes.
Baltimore is about the same far north and they're kind of moderated by the ocean.
But it's all cold weather, outdoor stadiums.
Yes.
And you're going to have to deal with that.
And you're going to need a kick late in the game, maybe on the road.
It's cold, weather's bad, the hometown crowd is against you because you're the visitor.
And Justin Tucker's not going to be that guy anymore.
I don't think he even trot him out on the field if it's a 50 plus yard field goal.
He might as well go for it.
He might as well go for it, yeah.
In a way that's like, you know, well, we should be scoring touchdowns and not field goals.
So this forces us to be more aggressive.
Okay.
But it also is going to make you lose points.
Yes.
Because Travis Henry and Lamar Jackson, if he's still in the game and not injured, can't
do it 100% of the time.
That's all they have.
So.
I mean, recently in Chiefs history, there have been field goals that have really saved
our ass.
Yes.
Long field goals.
A few days ago.
Yeah.
So it's still a thing in the NFL.
You need somebody who can do those high pressure, long field goals.
Last year we would have.
We have went anywhere without Buckley.
Oh man.
No, we would have been a subpar team without him.
Yeah, he missed what?
A couple of extra points and we were all devastated.
Oh no.
Because we're just like, no, Harrison, he's everything.
He makes it all.
Well Townsend's not in anymore and suddenly he's making him.
I think Townsend, that's part of his bye bye.
Yeah.
I don't think that he could hold the ball in a proper fashion as good as a kicker as
he was.
He couldn't grasp that place kicking.
That's just my gathering.
But who knows.
So there's like all of a sudden big guns not that untouchable.
Yeah.
So, alright, I've got some more dumb statements.
Want to go into them?
Alrighty.
Oh I got one for you.
What did the sloth say after he was attacked by a gang of snails?
I don't know.
It all happened so fast.
Here's a dad joke for you.
I love it.
That's a good one.
Okay the first one is, he had to cut the wind with his balls, which is something we had
to see.
Mike Nolan.
He had to cut the wind with his balls, which is something we all had to see.
Mike Nolan.
I don't want to see anybody's balls win.
I don't even like looking at my own.
I don't want to see them dangling in the wind.
Good lord.
And see all these guys could say foot balls or passes.
I think they're going for that to a degree.
Some of them are that dumb, some of them are just going for that.
Lack of awareness.
Man cutting the wind with your balls.
He needs throwing a tight spiral.
I guess into the wind or something.
Just makes it sound like you're using your testicles in a wind chill situation.
Yeah.
It's not going to work today guys.
Look at my nuts.
Look at that.
They're going to the right.
No, forget it.
Alright next one.
It's fine to me every time he throws a pass it always comes right to me.
I like his balls.
Vernon Davis.
Oh wow.
Even players.
Let's hope he heard it the moment after he said it and go oh man.
Well he did now.
It's all over the internet.
Yeah.
I like his balls.
Vernon Davis, the ball-liker, loves balls.
It's like the guy who got a gift card to Dick's Sporting Goods.
He goes, hey great I like Dick's.
Okay then.
Sound bite.
Then if a couple of people heard that he'll never live that down.
No.
Every now and then that one will rear its ugly head.
Yeah sure thing, dick-liker.
Yeah that's one that you'll never live down.
They'll always remember it.
The next one's from our good friend Troy Aikman.
The Lions turnover rate is low because offense is turning over the ball and the defense isn't
causing turnovers.
Yeah.
Let me do this again for a man.
The Lions turnover rate is low because the offense is turning over the ball and the
defense isn't causing turnovers.
Mr. Obvious.
So the fan is working because I plugged it in and turned it on and because I didn't throw
it out the front door.
Thanks for enlightening us.
Nothing to nothing Obvious.
I was totally lost until I learned that vital information from Troy Aikman.
Thank you so much Troy.
It's obvious to see you know the game very well and that's how come you did so well as
your swift intellect towards football knowledge.
Does he think the people watching TV are just not capable of understanding that the turnover
margin is low because you're not turning it over?
With him yes.
Because they think we're that dim that we didn't get it, we didn't make the connection.
I view him as kind of a punkus.
Yeah I think he considers himself in an elite group.
There's no doubt in the way he talks.
Yeah I mean the world's best brain surgeon and the world's best painter and the world's
best photographer.
I mean they all think they're in an elite group but Brady probably thinks being an NFL
quarterback and winning Super Bowls means he's better than all them too.
Not just us.
Yes.
Joe Buck definitely has that attitude.
I'm on TV announcing games therefore you're not qualified to smell my farts.
Only Joe Buck does it with his glasses, his readers down and his nose and one eyebrow
raised.
And the intentional mispronunciation of players on teams he doesn't play.
Yes.
And Troy Eggman is just staring off into space with his mouth open.
He's probably told when Joe Buck starts talking to shut up and let him talk.
Okay next one.
Hardly anything wrong can go bad.
That doesn't even make sense.
Phil Simms of course.
Hardly anything.
No wonder I can't stand him.
Oh gosh.
How did he memorize an NFL level playbook?
Yeah.
I'm beginning to think that who was the guy the Giants head coach that coached him?
Parcell?
Yeah.
Bill Parcells.
He won because of him in defense.
Yeah I'm beginning to think that he was the real force behind those winning teams and
it wasn't really the players.
I think so too.
Yeah.
Like you were saying with Schottenheimer he said the best coaching job he ever did was
the Washington team to finish mediocre because they just had no talent.
9 and 7.
He was so happy he said they had no talent and I coached him up to 9 and 7.
Yeah I think that's kind of what Parcells did in New York.
They had mediocre and kind of average guys but he figured out the best way to use them.
Yeah he put the pieces in the puzzle where they needed to be and he didn't worry about
anything else.
Everything else will take care of itself.
And he was right.
Next one.
I think it's his self-confidence in himself that makes him so confident.
Okay self-confidence in yourself.
Is there any other kind?
Don't think so.
And what an amazing revelation that having confidence means you have confidence.
I would never have figured that out.
You want to know who the brainiac is this Sunday?
Oh I'd love to know.
Emmett Smith.
Oh god.
Emmett Smith again.
He's just, I don't think he's as good as we thought he was.
What is this after he banged his head real hard on the turf?
Yes.
Okay.
He was used a lot.
That's the thing about self-confidence.
It's all of your confidence in yourself.
Okay let me do this one more time.
I think it's his self-confidence in himself that makes him so confident.
I'm trying to figure out what he was trying to say.
Yeah me too.
I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt that that wasn't really what he was trying to say.
I have no idea where he was trying to go with that.
I would have had to have heard the whole thing and it might have made more sense but I don't
know.
It's kind of like taking something out of a paragraph.
If you see the whole paragraph maybe you can understand where they're trying to go.
It may not be really intelligent but you may understand where they're trying to go.
Next one.
Like the most NFL head coaches, that man is passionate about football.
Greg Gumbel.
Damn I would hope if you were an NFL head coach that you would have some passion about
football.
Yeah good going Greg.
Badda boy.
That competitive eater is a competitive eater because he really likes competitive eating.
Really?
And he has a passion for competitive eating.
Son of a bitch.
It all makes sense now.
Who was that again that said that?
Greg Gumbel.
Oh gosh.
Greg Gumbel.
I expected better.
Greg Gumbel is alright.
He's decent.
I expected better out of him.
Let's just hope that he was hungover that day.
Does he even broadcast anymore?
I don't think so.
I don't think he does either but yeah he was great.
He probably does a podcast I bet.
Oh yeah.
He would have good stories for that.
Gumbels Fumbles.
There you go.
Cue the Homer Simpson noise now.
Next one.
People wonder how the center couldn't feel his hands on a snap.
Well that's a lot of man down there.
Okay slightly inappropriate.
Slightly homoerotic.
You'd think it'd be Chris Collinsworth but no it's Steve Tasper.
So even with all that it actually basically tells you absolutely nothing.
Exactly.
Not only is it borderline crude but it doesn't say anything.
I mean he's having trouble holding on to the ball because I mean look he didn't change
his jock strap this morning.
Son of a bitch.
Wow.
Woo hoo.
Yay.
I can't wait until some team loses the World Series because they drove to the stadium in
the wrong colored car.
That's a lot of man down there.
It's silver.
I told you.
So he couldn't, he's the center so he's hiking the ball to the quarterback but he couldn't
feel the ball in his hands because that's a lot of man down there.
Well number one how would he know?
Yeah.
Is he peeking?
Maybe during the locker room interviews he's peeking.
Yeah I mean steroids have been known to shrink stuff.
This is true.
Yeah so how does he know?
How does he know?
And apparently he just couldn't wait to say it.
How would you like to be the center?
Or how would you like to be the quarterback?
You know you're kind of like implying some stuff there a little bit.
I mean.
It's like look dude do your job but quit talking gay about me alright.
Yeah yeah I'd be like hey dude you and I, I'm not gay I don't know about you but you
and I don't have anything going on so don't speak like that ever again.
Yeah that's a lot of man down there.
Yeah yeah so.
I'll be honest head's down.
Yeah a lot of man down there.
Here lies so and so that's a lot of man down there.
Well what happened to Steve Tasker now we know.
Yeah.
Okay next one.
They're going to keep running the ball even when they're not running the ball.
Wow I would genuinely like to see that.
I would like to see them run the football when they're not running the football.
Me too.
That would be a pretty cool trick.
You want to know what genius said this?
Let's see.
I can't even guess who said it.
Oh you're going to go oh yeah of course Troy Aikman.
Oh yeah of course.
They're going to, they're running the football even when they're not running the football.
Nice notes.
I can't even think of a single circumstance where that would make any sense at all.
No no it didn't make sense and it won't make sense no matter where you're at, where, nowhere.
Well good thing these people are being paid millions of dollars to speak on TV.
I know I feel so much better.
You know the hell with hiring people like us who can actually put a sentence together.
Yeah no.
You need the morons and the mouth breathers.
Alright next one, everybody has a preference.
Some guys like them round, some guys like them thin and this is in 10, I didn't start
this off right, this is in defense of deflate gate.
Oh okay.
Okay and I'll start this over so you know that.
Okay.
Everybody has a preference.
Some guys like them round, some guys like them thin, some guys like them tacky, some
guys like them brand new, some guys like them old balls.
They're all different.
It's a very individual thing.
Some guys like to fondle them between plays.
Some guys don't like them at all.
Some guys like to take them out on the weekend and show their girlfriends.
Some of them like them thin.
Oh my gosh.
Do they not hear the words coming out of their mouth when they're saying them?
I would say no but maybe they're trying to get that effect, I don't know.
Yeah I'm sure some of them they're told, go ahead and use words that have a double meaning
so you can make the audience squirm.
Yeah, yeah.
I think that's taken it probably a little too far.
Too much balls in there, fake it out.
I'll give you an early example of this.
It was back in probably mid to late 80s when soap operas were just starting to talk about
the AIDS epidemic and they had a character on General Hospital whose mother, who abandoned
her long ago, shows up out of the blue and she's HIV positive.
Oh I think I remember that.
Yeah they're trying to get a point across.
First thing she do is hide it from everybody and lie to everybody about her health status
which is completely wrong.
Second thing is she starts dating the head, the CEO of this company and they go out on
a date and at the end of the date the guy leans in for a good night kiss and they made
it the most slobbery, wet, loud smacking kiss ever to try to drive the point home that he's
getting AIDS-solid on his lips.
And nothing happens.
And then for like two minutes after that he walked around smacking his lips and licking
his lips just to really hammer the point home that he just kissed a woman with AIDS and
oh my god.
I mean that kind of obviousness.
Just like oh you people are so stupid or we're going to make you squirm so hard by keep showing
you this over and over and over.
And TV has not grown up since then.
No it has not.
Not in the least little bit.
So they will find things that make you uncomfortable.
Well now the big thing is this right here.
It doesn't make me or you uncomfortable because we don't care.
Yeah.
Okay it's no big deal.
We've spoke about this many times and whatever you like sexually if you're not underage or
human trafficking or hurting somebody we don't give a shit.
That's your sexuality.
That's your business.
But now it's like two men reading a book together hugging on the couch or two men having a little
girl running around in front of them and they're both proud parents.
And you know they're not doing that because you know oh look this is the new norm.
They're doing it because we want to trigger somebody in the viewing audience.
Yes.
That's exactly why they want a reaction.
And that's what that AIDS thing was about.
They want them to go look these two.
This lady had AIDS and he kissed all over and he's fine.
But these two men have a child and they're fine.
Yeah.
Yeah and it's trying it's illustrating what some people would consider absurd.
Yeah and in a way it strikes me that the TV networks are like a little kid who's just
learned a new cuss word.
Yes.
Yeah.
And they know it makes their mommy uncomfortable so they say it as many times as possible.
And that's what that's what's happening with any kind of movie TV show whatever that shows
something that makes a large segment of people uncomfortable.
Yes.
That's the desired effect.
It's not to change culture or to call awareness or to spark debate.
No it's just because they want to make you uncomfortable so you watch.
Yes.
That's it.
Yeah.
That's the extent of their agenda.
That's pretty much it right there.
Yeah.
And you could even go far as to say both Kamala Harris and Donald Trump need to get into the
White House to do what they want to do.
So the number one thing for them is get in the White House.
So whatever they say whatever they do however they act the goal is get in the White House
then figure it out from there.
Yes.
Now that's the realistic way to look at it.
If you go across everything you ever said you're going to say what you think is going
to get you in.
And they'll deal with all the repercussions later.
Well that's not what we said earlier.
Most people don't care.
That's what you're saying now.
This is what I'm going to do.
Yeah.
Yeah the candidates who run their their campaign on doing the right thing and being in a person
with integrity they're called defeated.
They're called the ones who lost.
Yes.
The ones who win are the ones who manipulate say what people want to hear do people want
to see TV shows you're saying histories are written by the conquerors.
Yeah.
So whoever wins automatically gets that right to defame the other and say whatever.
Now there's one famous example where the history was written by the loser when the Roman Empire
fell to the barbarians the Visigoths.
Yeah.
The Visigoths had no written language so they couldn't write the story.
So they wrote the story.
So the Romans the defeated ones wrote the story and painted the Visigoths as these mouth
breathing slobbering you know half witted fools.
And actually they were very sophisticated.
They had culture.
They you know they did a lot of you know great things for their own population.
Sour grapes.
But the Romans wrote the history as the loser because the winner didn't have a written language
yet.
So everything you read about the fall of the Roman Empire was written by the Romans.
Yep that does not surprise me.
Keep that in mind.
But I guess we wandered far afield from the point I guess I was making with NFL coverage
and what the.
That is where this came people say and the announcers what we're making fun of some
of the stuff they're saying but a lot of this was probably hey say this and see what the
reaction is.
Yeah.
They're not paying attention.
They're not paying attention anymore.
And also I think people are trying to fill so much time and there's a sudden delay in
the game and there's not a plan to anything in the hopper get ready to go to.
No state farm or nothing.
So they say the first thing that comes off their head.
It's usually not well thought out.
Yeah.
Sometimes we think boo boo boo.
And that's just you know imagine having to fill some time and all of a sudden you're
like blah blah blah.
Oh wait a minute why did I do that?
I'm not a natural.
Why did I just say that that's so yeah.
It's like damn that's because times like that.
You know you only have like a second to react.
Yeah yeah.
And yeah I've seen a little more dead air lately.
I have too.
I think it's more acceptable now.
Yeah yeah.
The saying that I grew up with is dead air is death.
Yes.
You have one single moment where someone isn't talking.
I agree.
Because if someone is tuning to your station then all they hear is like three or four seconds
of silence they're going to move on.
So that's why dead air is death.
But anymore it's like it's okay.
Sit there and gather your thoughts a little bit.
People aren't because people are sitting there doing other things while they're watching
the game.
That's true.
Yeah it used to be you'd watch the game and that was all you did.
Now people you know look at their phone to watch the game or talk with their friends
or they have three different games going at once.
Yeah.
They have one on the big screen and they have two split on the phone or the laptop.
And that's where guys like Romo and Troy Aikman come in handy because they will say the obvious
things over and over and over to help catch up to people who haven't been paying much
attention.
I could say the Chiefs are trying to score more points.
Yeah.
And you know they hear the TV get loud and then they turn to the TV and they're like
oh what's happening and they hear Tony Romo going oh and then you know they throw the
ball down the field and then they keep throwing the ball and they're like they feel like they
know what's going on because Romo is going off on it.
Have you noticed he's backtracked this year a little bit?
No I haven't really noticed.
I'll look for that though.
Yeah I think that like they told him to tone it down a bit and I think he did.
I'm not for sure but it kind of sounds like they're like dude each year you're getting
more and more annoying you've got to do something about that.
Yeah and his endorsement deals have been drying up because his persona on the sports broadcast
is.
He's a goof.
Yeah the goof who mumbles on and on and is thought disoriented and you don't want him
speaking about your product if he's got a reputation for saying stupid things.
Yeah you're like oh this guy can't pick me out of good product he can't even speak.
Yeah so I think that's hurt his endorsement deal.
I think you're right.
And maybe it was Romo who went to the network and said look you know I'm happy to play the
idiot with half a thought in his head but it's screwing up with my earning potential
can we tone it down a bit.
So it might have been even Romo saying I want to earn more money.
I mean why wouldn't it be yeah he's like dude this is ruining everything and I had going
on.
I'm seeing Will Ferrell doing commercials now which he never used to do.
I think he's kind of done with movies.
I think he is too.
He's older you know he's made tons of money for his kids and paid for the college and
stuff.
No he's just padding the stats.
Yeah and he's never been the kind of guy who likes the public spotlight because you never
see him unless he's promoting.
He's just like Alvin Ackes.
Never been Hollywood seen.
Never ever.
He lives in North Carolina on a big ranch.
He only went to Hollywood when necessary.
That was it.
Yeah and then you got like Kevin Bacon and Kiris Edgewick have left Hollywood completely
because it's just a really unhealthy place to live.
They both made tons of money there.
What the hell out?
I commend them too.
They don't want anything to do with that.
They're like now that's toxic.
They over here you guys are still going to hire me because I'm preferred but I'm not
going to live by your set of whatever.
Pretty good.
Alright now you got anything else?
Kind of floundering.
I don't have much else that I saw lately.
You mentioned out Elon Musk is now offering to Father Taylor Swift's baby and acting like
he's doing her a favor.
I didn't know anything about this until you told me on the ride up here.
JD Vance made the comment about this country is being run by childless cat ladies and is
that what you want?
What his goal was to promote saying this country should be run by married couples with children
and then everybody else doesn't count as much which is a pretty horrible thing to say.
But that's basically what JD Vance was saying in other words.
So Taylor comes out and says something in support of Harrison signs it childless cat
lady which she is.
She has no kids and she has cats.
So Elon Musk piles on in a public I don't know if it's a tweet or what platform he used but
he's acting as if she asked him and he's like okay Taylor Swift I will gift you with a child
and I'll even be nice to your cats.
I guess he was trying to flex as like she'd be lucky to have my baby but the immediate
overwhelming response is this guy is a total creeper.
I mean it just looks sick and perverted to have this guy macking on Taylor Swift and
offering to impregnate her.
It's just disgusting.
That does not go over well.
And have you seen actual photographs of Elon Musk not his doctored and photoshopped and
AI ones?
Oh yeah.
Dude is fatter than I am.
I mean I'm fat but the dude has got a big fat belly and man boobs.
He's got a big chunky face.
Yeah and you know so what?
There's a lot of people that are overweight.
The thing is he's conscious about it.
But the fact that he's lying about it so much that he's so vain that he photoshops pictures
to make his face look slimmer or he insists he's only photographed from certain angles
and the one showing his true form are people who are just taking pictures of him when he's
out on the coast.
Who's that?
Oh that's Elon Musk.
Oh did he gain a lot of weight?
No.
This is just a real photograph of him.
So you know I mean like we were saying if Elon Musk didn't have a crap ton of money
nobody would know who he was.
He doesn't have the ideas and the brilliance etc. to make it.
He had all of his parents emerald mine money.
Yeah.
Yeah he was given the money to start so.
Did you see where SpaceX punched two holes in the atmosphere?
I saw that yeah.
Let's hope they heal up.
Some of them can heal up.
But sometimes they don't.
Yeah and then I've got the most important question of this whole podcast.
Is Jamie better than Flo?
I'm going to say yeah.
I'd say yeah too.
I think let's see you've got.
He's a clown.
He's funny.
He's interesting.
Yeah.
Flo is old and tired.
I'm tired of Flo.
She's got nothing new.
She's just the same old crap.
She's never changed her appearance once.
It's just big.
Yeah.
And then the other girl with the little chipmunk voice.
Yeah she looks like she would just be like just a little meat girl.
But no no no.
She's actually one that talks people into buying stuff they didn't want.
And also the one that shot Jamie down because he was getting ready to signal Beetlejuice.
But her character to me is really odd because she's a sourpuss, a buzzkill, a drag.
But cool.
She always has something negative to say.
Personally I don't find her cool.
I find her to be annoying and I wish she'd go away.
No I agree but I think people think she's cool.
I think so too.
Because look she just talked this guy into buying auto insurance when they weren't going
to.
Yeah.
And they have the random black guy because they have the diversity somehow.
Yeah they have one thing that featured him and it wasn't that good.
He was having a dream and everyone else is in it.
Yeah.
And he woke up and he's like damn it they're in my dreams too.
That was just so stupid.
Yeah.
He's there as a support character which is kind of telling that the only person of color
is just a minor support character.
I would agree.
I feel the same way.
Yeah he should play a bigger role but they never made him interesting enough.
They just kind of like oh we just want you there and that's it.
In the weird head commercials the cast of the commercials is now having some like franchise
implications.
Yeah.
I know.
That's why I brought that up.
I was like you know that had to be brought up to you because I know that you have the
same kind of mindset as huh.
Now they're pimping so and so where they're doing this and yeah flow has not been the
big thing for a while now.
They haven't made her the big part of the commercials.
The big part of the commercials have been Jamie.
Yeah.
And doing stupid shit and he's always come off as a dork but they have one commercial
where he's at home and celebrities are coming up and saying hi he's got this really hot
wife and.
I remember that yeah.
Yeah.
And it was funny because they made him like this really savvy stud.
Yeah.
Everyone thought he was just a scatterbrained squirrel.
Yeah and then he's at home and he's like he's worshiped by all these people.
Yeah.
And then they went back to him being a dork.
Yeah.
All right.
I've noticed that State Farm has changed their ads a bit.
When they first came out with Jake from State Farm 2.0.
Yeah.
Not the first one that's in that call center.
Yeah the first one is a pasty chunky white guy in a call center.
Yeah and the guy is talking to him before in the morning and he's like OK Jake.
So then they turned Jake into young muscly hip black urban all sorts of cool stuff.
But they still did the commercials as State Farm customers needing to have their coverage
explained to them.
Yes.
And that lasted at least a year and I actually was almost ready to discuss it with my insurance
agent to say why are you doing this with your ads.
You're calling State Farm customers stupid.
Yes.
We got your insurance coverage but we're too stupid to understand or use it correctly until
you explain it to us like we're little kids.
I think you'd be surprised the amount of people that have it broke down is what it is.
Yeah.
But for some people that appeals to them.
Yeah I think so.
Yeah.
But fortunately they've gotten away from it.
I've got a good one is a Lemu Emu.
Yeah.
I mean it always says oh you customize it the way you want and pay what you want.
It makes it sound like you can knock off three quarters of it which isn't the state regulations.
And still get all the coverage you want.
Yeah.
What it is is you could knock them all off but it wouldn't be the nothing required by
the state you're in.
So you have to get the next plan.
But it's there if you can.
Yeah.
It's complete.
To me it's complete fabrication.
Yeah.
And it's insinuating that you can get it as cheap as you want and still have it legal
in your state.
Yeah.
And technically if you're in the right state you could.
Yeah.
But if you're in the wrong state you can't.
So I kind of look at it as decevery but whatever.
There was one more point I was trying to make.
What was that?
Oh we were talking about Flow, Jamie.
Yeah and it was.
Hang on a second.
I remembered what it was.
When the Ford came out with the EcoBoost engine.
Remember that?
It was a little I think four cylinder is it a four or six cylinder engine that was supposed
to replace the gas guzzling V8.
And they towed they showed people in the commercials look it's got all the power to tow this and
tow that and tow this.
But you get 34 miles to the gallon.
Now all you have to do is look at it and see the word turbo.
Okay the 34 miles to the gallon is if you were driving in such a way that your turbo
never comes on.
Yeah.
And then the towing power only comes when you got your foot in it so the turbo is always
on.
Now that's how it's got to work.
And intuitive people figure that out.
But an enormous number of Ford owners thought oh they're promising me turbo power at 35
miles per gallon.
I'll buy one.
Then they bought it and it was nothing like that.
And then they get mad at Ford because they had a clever ad that fooled them.
It's like dude you really think a turbo is going to get you great gas mileage and you
really think you're going to tow that big ass boat and still get 34 miles to the gallon.
You're the problem.
Yeah.
I mean look the American public is pretty much stupid and looks like they're selling
to that.
I remember helping a friend out once there was a car ad where it was showing this car.
You know Fairly Desirable is like an old Zachieva or something that was popular at the time.
And it was on sale for a pretty low price.
And the ad was running and he was like oh man that's awesome.
I'm going to go you know Monday I'm going to go there.
I'm going to try and see if I can get one of those.
And I pointed out look at the look at the screen here.
It's giving you an individual stock number.
That means there is one car at that price.
And once it sells it's over.
And they probably already had an agreement on it.
As soon as it yeah.
So no guaranteed no matter what you go and try to find that car they're going to tell
you oh that's already been sold.
But here's one that's more expensive.
Yeah.
And then here's another thing I do too.
They'll have one out in the front that's great and a low price.
Then you go in there and go oh that one's sold.
Yep.
Yeah.
But I have this red one over here.
Uh huh.
Like no no.
And at first my friend was pissed off that I'd stolen his dream that he was going to
get that car for that super cheap price.
But after a half hour his wife was saying you know it's a good thing we didn't waste
a trip out there.
Yeah.
And they have a hard time telling you that it's sold too.
If you go down there they go well we have many in stock a lot like that.
Well is it sold or not?
I'm not sure.
I don't think so.
Yeah.
Either that or well I guess they were closing on it when I was talking to you.
Yeah.
I apologize.
My son Lewis recently bought a car and I told him when you're doing the haggling thing on
the price and the guy says okay well let me go talk to my manager.
Go with him.
Just say alright fine I'll go with you.
I want to talk to him too.
Yeah.
And let them go off by themselves and jerk you around pretending they're talking about
your deal.
I did that but here's why.
I left.
He goes alright I'll be right back.
I said alright I'll be here and I walked out the door and left.
My wife told a salesman once he had already gone to the manager twice and he said well
let me go talk to him again.
She said alright fine but last time you come back with the deal or I'm not here.
And she was on Independence Avenue.
There's dealerships all up and down the street and she had cash she was ready to buy and
she's like this is it.
Don't go back to your manager anymore after this because I'm leaving.
So he sat there and then he came up with a better deal.
Yeah of course.
Because they don't need to go back to the sales manager.
It's just a game.
We fall for all this shit and we're falling for it in the program itself like the NFL
broadcast.
Yeah.
And we're trading as those same type of crap lies and we're buying it.
Well I used to like make up really obvious lies but they can't call you on it because
they're trying to sell to you.
Like I have my wallet and you can see my wallet in my back pocket.
Oh shit I forgot my wallet I'll have to come back.
Wait a minute wait a minute what's your number when you call you back.
No no no I know where I left it I'll be right back.
And then on your way out you just grab your wallet and start looking through it.
And they can't say anything because they'll be calling you a liar.
The funnest one is at Walmart though.
They have a guy that checks your receipt right.
Okay well whenever you go through the self checkout you have the option of getting a
receipt online emailed to you or a physical receipt.
So the guy goes to me he goes can I see your receipt and I go I got it online and I had
it in my hand.
And he says or he looks at it looks at me again looks at it and he goes okay have a
good day.
Anything he can say.
You bet.
Oh yeah you call the customer a liar right to their face.
This is not going to end well.
He probably thought well he's baiting me that's not even a receipt.
Yeah.
It's going to look like one.
Yeah.
Yeah I do that all the time whenever I go there I'll have it in my hand and even when
I'm talking to them you know have it in my hand go I didn't get a physical receipt it's
online and I'm not going to go through my email to show you.
They're like going uh huh fucking liar but they can't prove it.
I don't know about Kansas but in Missouri they have to show just cause that you're stealing
before they can require you to show your receipt.
Yeah that's true.
You can just blow on past and say meh.
That they have it on camera they can't take someone's word.
I see them stick that in his backpack.
No I didn't.
And strictly speaking lost tracking and I'm having so many brain farts it's just crazy.
The caveat I was going to say was if you're in a membership type place like Costco, Sam's
Club or whatever that can be part of the membership is you have to submit to have your receipt
checked.
Pretty sure it is.
In that case they could revoke your membership and say don't come back.
But like just a regular grocery store, a quick trip, you know wherever they have to show
cause that they suspect you of stealing before they can force you to show the receipt.
And you don't even have to slow down.
You just walk by past and say hey if you think I'm stealing prove it.
They have to let you go they can't hold you there.
Now that's an interesting situation.
Alright I think that's probably about it.
Alright.
We'll wrap up this meandering wandering thing.
Yeah if you're still with us we're sorry.
Yeah we're up to about an hour and forty five now that's pretty awesome.
Yeah that is.
If nothing else it's good to listen to while you fall asleep.
There you go.
Alright this has been the what the sports bastards?
The sports bastards.
Yeah.
Volume three I guess.
Yeah we don't have to go in numerical order next week it will be volume number seventeen.
This is volume three thirty two.
Yeah.
Three thirty two.
Bye.
Did you wonder what these two dullards look like?
Yeah me neither.
Did you really sit there and listen to all that garbage that you're spilling?
Do you actually believe one inch of it?
I didn't think so.
Hang out.
Game over.