And now it's time for...
The Daily Deucebag Pledge
Here at Two Deucebags in a Microphone, we don't stand behind our journalistic integrity.
Go ahead and assume we got the story wrong. At least we admit it.
Not like all those other guys, we can and will lie if it makes the story better.
Two Deucebags and a Microphone
We are...
Jesus.
Kicking your ass, with size 15 clown boots and a deep Tracy hat.
And now, Deep Thoughts with Mark.
Hmm. If I was to speak into a megaphone backwards, would it then sound like a whisper? Hmm. I may never know.
You watched the news. It was grim. Is an apocalypse inevitable? We suggest you download all our podcasts beforehand and have multiple mobile chargers. We have the post-apocalypse.
Learn your soils. You will need drinking and bath water. You must build a reservoir. The key to hold water in the ground are the clays you have at its base. Research water purification methods and wild game will attract to the water as well.
Hi everybody. Thanks for joining us. Or me, I guess. The regular podcast, this is a regular podcast and is a solo cast until further notice or forever or until I get completely tired of doing this and just never get near it again.
Whichever is first, that's what it is. But Topher and I will continue to do the NFL picks and then after that hopefully we can just do a sports show or something like we have been doing twice a week. We record it all in one day down at the River Market and then split it up into two. So that's two a week.
So anyhow, kind of concentrating on more quality than quantity this time around. So anyhow, and if I do have another partner or co-host or whatever, it's got to be the right one.
I'm just not going to, I'm not going to let the podcast, it's going to maintain a certain quality. So anyhow, start off here.
John Bon Jovi helps talk a woman down from a ledge on a Nashville bridge. The Nashville bridge is the pedestrian bridge. And anyone that's familiar with lower Broadway, which is entertainment district that has all Blake Shelton and the guy from American Idol, I forgot his name.
We all have bars down there, the Reg Nets, the Rivi area is there and there's Jack's Barbecue and all these, all these places. And it's a really neat area. And it's right on the pedestrian bridge is right on the side of there going over the Cumberland River.
And if you get on the pedestrian bridge, you can look over and see the skyline is a beautiful picture and the Cumberland River is pretty cool looking. So anyhow, the Rock and Roll Hall of Famer, John Bon Jovi and a video production assistant persuaded women standing on the ledge of the pedestrian bridge over the Cumberland River.
Bon Jovi was filming a music video on the bridge, which remained open during the shoot.
The rocker and assistant talked to the woman and eventually convinced her to not jump. It was later revealed that John Bon Jovi had to pinky swear to never wear his tight leather pants on stage ever again.
I think it's pretty good deal. Yeah, she got off the ledge and he pinky swore never to do it again.
It was later revealed that John Bon Jovi looks just like Jamie Lee Curtis.
If you put them side to side, picture to picture, you'll see what I mean. Google it. If you don't know who Jamie Lee Curtis is. And if you do, just think about Bon Jovi's latest picture and Jamie Lee Curtis. You'll see what I mean.
McDonald's has released a new line of Happy Meal Crocs. As if the Hello Kitty toys in the child's meal weren't enough to make an average parent cry.
Now the new Happy Meal will have keychain crocs in the meal. That's right. These are not real crocs, of course, because that would take up the whole bag.
So they're little replica crocs that are made keychains. So they're keychain crocs and they're in these Happy Meals.
I don't know how many children have keys that will want a Happy Meal, but you know what? If you do have keys, well, there you go.
So these toys are small figuring keychains of the famous McD's characters. I do have a suggestion though.
Get your child a drool cup. The toxic waste that these Chinese toys might contain could have an adverse effect.
Allegedly. And now for something completely unusual and different. Actually, another entertainment. So, you know, another entertainer.
Flavor Flav signed a seven year sponsorship with the Boys and Girls water polo team. What Flavor Flav and water polo have in common?
I have no clue. But he did this. He also had the chance to hit the closing bill for Wall Street because they launched this new venture and, you know,
and then it's public trading. So he got to hit the gavel at the end. Flav hit the gavel so hard that the rubber drum come off the gavel
and flew and hit his press guy in the face. The press guy is OK, but I mean, he he said it was good luck. Flavor Flav said it was good luck to smash the gavel hard,
which he did. Further examination revealed he taped a picture of Bridget Nelson on the desk. It worked.
All right. In today's Mark investigates, it's pissants. We've all heard the term pissants, right?
That's pissant. You know, you know, equating someone to a pissant or something. It's kind of like demeaning, like they're a little minute.
Well, I always wondered if there really is a pissant. So, you know, I'm pretty confident that everyone's heard the term pissant.
So does a pissant does it really exist? The answer is yes. They are really a term for a species of ants.
The real name is very similar, but it would be pronounced in one word pissant, pissant, not pissant. It would be pissant as in one word.
Very similar, but it the common way of saying it is pissant. And anyhow, the original pissant is a certain group of large ant species,
also known as wood ants. This ant has a reddish head and neck area with mostly black abdomen and legs. I think we've all seen these before.
They're big ants. They can be intrusive, especially at picnics or outdoor activities.
They also have a nickname sugar ants because the insects love of sugar. Now that you know that, nothing's changed except the knowledge of pissants.
You are welcome. So now we go to hostess. You know, the snack cake people, their new Halloween lineup.
New hostess frankincakes, frankincakes like Frankenstein only put a cakes on the end of it and take off the Stein.
A yellow cupcake with signature cream filling topped with green icing and an icing squiggle, whatever the hell a squiggle is. That's what's on here.
Hostess spooky Twinkies chocolate sponge cake with signature cream filling and hostess Gary cakes.
A chocolate cupcake with signature cream filling topped with orange icing and the brand signature icing squiggle. Okay, the squiggles that little, you know,
kind of weird line, circle line, whatever. Okay. Hostess Halloween snacks are available in multi packs and new family size trick or treat packs.
Both packages sizes consist of snack cakes and individually wrapped in Halloween themed plastic wrappers. Hostess spooky Twinkies and hostess scary cakes also come in single serve packages.
So there you go. And also in addition to this, they this is every year. Yearly they have a hostess pumpkin spice Twinkies golden sponge cake with a pumpkin spice flavored cream filling, filling available in multi packs.
Hostess size pumpkin cupcakes, a pumpkin flavored cupcake with signature cream filling topped with white icing and a signature icing squiggle available in single serve packs and multi packs.
And finally hostess maple glazed donuts. Now that sounds pretty good. I mean, all of it sounds good, but maple glazed donuts sound fantastic.
Bite sized cake donuts covered with a sweet maple flavored glaze available in single serve packs and multi packs. Pretty cool.
Yeah, I think I will delve into some of these when I get a chance at the store. So we move along.
So anyhow, let's see. I got some other stories here. Let me take a look here. Well, it seems as though some people are upset with Al Michaels, you know, the great broadcaster.
He was on NBC for years and now he's on Amazon Prime. For what I understand, he got tired of, you know, them flexing the schedule and he was supposed to go to, I don't know, California, but instead he had to go to New York or Texas or something.
He didn't like it. You know, he's pretty old. I mean, I think he's like 76. So he doesn't feel like doing that game anymore. Who can blame him? So he wanted to go to something that they couldn't flex. And that is a Thursday night game.
But I did notice this year that Thursday night games are better matchups. So the first one was, of course, you know, the Ravens at Arrowhead Stadium versus the Chiefs, a replay of the championship game.
And my my chiefies won. They they took it by six points. And oh, no, seven points, actually. Very happy with that. But it was a great game.
Now, this next game is should have been a great game, but it was the Bills against the Dolphins in Miami. So the Bills just dismantled them.
But the first two of the Tagovaiola had three interceptions and he had a concussion that made him leave the game.
So the game was really lopsided and it was really kind of boring. So anyhow, no one thought there's going to come back anyhow.
But anyhow, it didn't help any that they that Tagovaiola went out with a game with a concussion, so they didn't have their starting quarterback. But the first interception was not his fault.
It was a deflect and the guy should have had the ball. He should have caught it and deflected right into a Bills players hands.
So that was in Tagovaiola's fault. But you could suddenly just seem it looked like his confidence kind of was hurt by that.
You know, right out of the bat, he gets an interception. He's like, oh, man, you can see it's just kind of sitting there.
Man, this sucks. So the next two interceptions were horrible. They were bad throws.
And I think it got to him. That first interception kind of got in his psyche.
So everything's going horrible. And I think it's the third quarter. Tagovaiola has the ball, runs with it, and he runs straight into Damar Hamlin's abdomen area.
And he fell and got a concussion again. This is his third.
So he I don't know, you know, he he ought to consider retirement at his young age. And the reason is, is because three concussions is too many.
You don't want you don't want residual effects that are horrible about this.
So maybe it's time to just go and hang up the cleats. But people were talking about Al Michaels being I don't know, less than enthusiastic with this game.
I'm sorry, the game started being a blowout early on. And he probably was bored.
And how can you hype up a game like that, really, where everything that could go right went right for the Bills and everything that could go wrong went wrong for the Dolphins?
It was something that they had a couple of strokes of bad luck and it just escalated.
So anyhow, people are all over Al Michaels saying you need to retire and you know, you don't care about the game anymore.
But you know what? I mean, I wasn't enthusiastic about watching the game because it was really, really not that good.
It wasn't that competitive. And it was just it was kind of boring.
And I watched the whole game. Topher, me and Topher watched the whole game.
And I mean, we both kept losing track. We just started talking because the game was that boring.
So what I'm doing here is I'm defending Al Michaels and I think people are doing too harsh with him because I think that he had a right to be bored.
And Kirk Herbstreet, that's not really his job. He's kind of like a siding guy that kind of makes comments here and there.
I don't know how you would tell if he sounded bored because he doesn't.
He's doing fine, but he doesn't do enough to really recognize whether he is, you know, bored or not.
So anyhow, I just wanted to add that in there. I think Al Michaels had a right to be bored.
The game was horrible and it just went to hell quickly.
So I say let him you know, he was fine with the Chiefs versus the Ravens.
There wasn't any problem with that at all. That was a competitive game and that was a close game down to the end.
And the Ravens lost only by likely's big toe and part, you know, and being over the line.
And since he wore black cleats, you could see him plainly on a white line, which made him out of bounds.
And they changed the rules again to where you can knock a player out of bounds and they're out of bounds.
And every time they change something, the Chiefs take advantage of it quickly.
So anyhow, so that's what happened.
And, you know, Al Michaels sounded fine on that because he was, you know, he there's a competitive game.
So I think if you have a competitive game going, I think Al Michaels is fine.
If you don't, he's seen too many games and he's just flat going, ho hum. And who can blame him?
So anyhow, that's that one. OK, let's move right along to Halloween costumes.
The top 10 trendy Halloween costumes of 2024.
This is the ones that they say are the trends of things going on that people are going to want to look like.
So, yeah, yeah, yeah, I know Travis and Taylor. A lot of people are doing that. Yep. Yep. Yep.
But these are good ideas if you don't want to be Travis and Taylor.
And I hope you don't because it's going to be overplayed. You know that.
So anyhow, number one is AI generated avatars.
This year, AI is all the rage. Dress up as a futuristic AI generated avatar with neon lights, cool gadgets and holographic accessories.
The tech savvy costume will make you look like you're stepped straight out of a sci fi movie.
I think that's pretty cool. And I bet it is the rage. I mean, if you think about it, it is. Everything's AI now.
Hey, I could be AI. You don't know, man. Maybe I just told the computer to take my voice and do this shit.
It'd probably be a hell of a lot better. Probably more entertaining at least.
Number two, retro video game characters, retro is back in style. Characters from classic video games like Pac-Man, Donkey Kong, Super Mario are making a big comeback.
Choose your favorite and get creative with pixelated costumes and do it yourself props.
Now, I knew this was going to come back at some time, the retro video games.
They sell them at stores now like Costco. They sell them again.
But I bought mine a few years ago. I bought mine like seven years ago. A guy in Belt, Missouri is refurbishing them.
And it's an actually 80s one. It's a 1943 game. It's a pilot game.
And what he did was he put a new disc in there that had 60 of the classic games.
And then he put one had the original. It still has the original joystick from the 80s.
And the other one has a newer one. So which one you like calibrated how it is, is the one you use.
I always use the original one. That's what I was good on back in the day.
So anyhow, when I got this, I asked him, the guy's name is Brett. I said, hey, how popular are these?
And he said, I'm always taking one somewhere. I'm always fixing them up.
So I knew it was kind of being something people like me, you know, reminiscing about the past and wanting something from there that was, you know,
that would signify the past or something to take you back in time. Nostalgic.
And that is, you know, a video arcade games. So I kind of knew there's something to it.
Talking to him, he said that, you know, he sold a ton of them. And I believe I got it off of eBay.
I think that's who how he was selling them. So number three, popular streamers and YouTubers.
Show your love for your family streamers and YouTubers by dressing up as them.
Get gaming icons to beauty vloggers. Pick someone you admire and replicate their signature look for fun and recognizable costume.
Number four, superheroes with a twist. Superheroes are always a hit.
But this year, put a unique spin on your costume, mix and match different superhero elements,
create a gender swap version or invent your own superhero persona with a creative backstory.
Yeah, you could be like, I don't know, Zitman. I don't know.
I don't know. Weird walk guy. I don't know. Whatever your superpower is.
So number five, I can understand people doing this, but this is kind of boring to me. Characters from hit TV shows.
Binge watching your favorite shows can pay off characters from popular series like Stranger Things.
Oh, OK, I get it now. OK. All right. So you're not like dressing up like Matlock or Mannix.
Look it up if you don't know the Mandalorian, the euphoria and perfect choices recreate their iconic look with detailed costume and props.
So there look up Mannix, M-I-N-N-I-X. And if you do know, then you do know.
But if you want to know, you're a little bit younger. Look it up.
So number six, mythical creatures with a modern touch.
Unicorns, dragons and mermaids are timeless choices, but gave them a modern twist with LED lights, metallic fabrics and edgy accessories.
These mythical creatures will make you shine in any Halloween event. Sounds good.
Number seven, eco friendly warriors show your support for the environment with a costume made entirely from recycled materials.
Dress up as an eco warrior, complete with a cape made from plastic bags or a shield made from cardboard.
So creative and impactful way to make a statement. I kind of like that.
That's pretty cool. You know, you're kind of making a statement, but at the same time, you're really using your imagination.
So that's pretty cool. I like it.
Number eight, a classic horror movie icon. I love this one, but I'm a horror movie buff. I always have been.
So anyhow, classic horror characters like Freddy Krueger, Jason Voorhees, Michael Myers never get out of style.
These scary costumes are perfect for those who want to embrace the spooky side of Halloween.
Yeah, you know what? Those have been going on forever, too.
Anyhow, I mean, I still see, you know, whenever kids are trick or treating, I still see the hockey mask from Jason Voorhees.
I still see the Michael Myers mask from, you know, Halloween. I see the Freddy Krueger's.
They've never really went away, but I guess they're a little bit more popular this year.
I mean, I see pinhead. I've seen some really good pinheads.
I mean, they had to have taken a long time to make these versions of them because they look fantastic with the needles all over his head and all that.
So anyhow, fantasy book characters bring your favorite book character to life, whether it's Harry Potter.
Katrina's Everdeen from The Hunger Games or Percy Jackson dressing up as a beloved character from a fantasy novel is sure to be a hit.
And number 10 cultural icons from the 2000s.
The early 2000s are making a comeback. Think pop stars, fashion icons, movie characters from that era from Britney Spears to The Matrix.
These nostalgic costumes will definitely turn heads. That's a pretty good idea, too.
I like that one. And here's some tips for making your Halloween costume stand out.
Do it yourself elements and do yourself element to your costume can make it unique and personal.
Customize accessories, props and even parts of the outfit to match your style.
Attention to detail. Focus on the small details and make the character recognizable.
This could be a specific accessory, hairstyle or makeup look.
Comfort is key. Make sure your costume is comfortable enough to wear all day at school.
Avoid heavy or restrictive materials that can make it difficult to move around. And I've done that before.
I wore like a really heavy rogue rogue. I think they call it a rogue robe and it like real heavy and it hangs down.
And then I had the executioner mask and that all the I was just sweating wherever I went. Halloween party or whatever.
I was just miserable and look cool, but I was miserable.
Group costumes. Coordinate with friends for a group costume.
This can be a fun way to enhance your look and make a bigger impact. I've seen great group costumes.
So anyhow, one was a centipede that I seen and it had like seven people in it.
It was long and everyone were walking in unison under the under the centipede blanket thing.
It's pretty cool. Practice makes perfect.
If a costume involves special makeup or unique hairstyle, practice ahead of time to ensure you can nail the look on Halloween day.
So there you go. Anyhow, I thought that's pretty good little segment. I hope you liked it too.
So I assume everybody listening has heard the phrase with bells on.
This is another Mark Investigates series and this is where I find these old phrases and I find out where they came from and exactly what they meant.
So this is I'll be there with bells on. You always hear that or at least I do.
I mean, at least my part of the woods. That's what I hear a lot. Oh, yeah. I'll be there with bells on.
Well, it turns out that early settlers in the US were going along like the Santa Fe Trail and places like that.
You know, there wasn't gravel. These were just indentations in the ground and it was easy to get stuck.
If you got in a rainy season, those big wooden wagon wheels would get stuck and they'd be very hard to get out.
So anyhow, if a wagon became stuck, a wagon driver who came to the rescue often asked for a set of bells as a reward.
Arriving at a destination without the bells would hurt a driver's professional pride, whereas getting there with bells on was a source of satisfaction.
So anyhow, it also another one that they speculate think it might have came before that before that.
OK, so it's kind of like a before before, but only on the other side of the world.
Seventy seventeenth century Europe, the phrase may have originated when people were traveling to a party and might experience a mishap.
For example, a driver might need to give up their horse's bell straps as a ransom for being rescued.
So anyhow, and then we have the other one of early US settlers.
Early settlers traveled in large wooden horse drawn wagons and the horses collars were fitted with headdresses of bells.
The wagon driver would take pride in their bells and tune them to their liking.
If a traveler made it to their destination with their bells still on, it meant they arrived without any trouble.
And to me, I think that makes the most sense.
I don't know. The one in Europe might be accurate.
The other one could be accurate of the US settlers.
But to me, the one that makes the most sense and how you say it and what it means is the one that I just mentioned.
And this means, you know, you're proud of your bells and you set the tune to them and all that.
And it meant you arrived without any trouble.
So that's what it would mean today is like, oh, I'll be there with bells on.
It's been that nothing stopping me. I'll be right there. It means yes.
You know, got it confirmed. I'm going to be there.
So to me, the context of the shoes to today would make more sense on that one right there.
So anyhow, there you go with bells on.
You know what? While I'm at it, let's just give you a little bonus.
Mark investigates the phrase.
Kick the bucket.
I'm pretty sure everybody has heard that and like, oh, yeah.
Hey, what happened to Mr. Sampson?
He kicked the bucket. Oh, man.
You know what happened? Oh, they found him dead. Whatever. OK.
So we all know what kick the bucket means a phrase.
So the phrase kick the bucket is an informal way of saying die that originated in the 16th century.
The phrase is thought to come from the practice of using a wooden frame called a bucket
and to hang animals by their feet for slaughter.
As the animals struggled and spasm, they appeared to be kicking the bucket.
Yeah, it's kind of morbid.
Never realized that that was so morbid. Really?
You know what? I mean, I wish I didn't like the taste of animals.
I wish I could just like leave those guys alone.
But, you know, I guess I suppose it doesn't matter.
They're going to kill him anyhow. But I don't know.
Every now and then I feel a little bit guilty because they're, you know,
there they are having their life. Then we grab them and kill them and eat them.
So anyhow, the man, a steak and a hamburger. They taste so good.
OK, so the phrase gained wider use after it was defined in Gross's dictionary.
I think it's Gross's. I'm not sure if it's Gross's.
I think it's Gross's dictionary of the vulgar tongue in 1785.
It's now used in a casual, almost joking way to refer to someone's death.
For example, my old car finally kicked the bucket, so I had to buy a new one.
The phrase bucket list is based on kick the bucket.
A bucket list is a list of things you want to do before you die.
So all of those are probably pretty much true about the phrase kick the bucket.
So anyhow, there you go. If you don't know, now you do know.
And if you care, now you are sat and, you know, probably happy about it.
If you don't care, you probably aren't even listening to this anymore.
So anyhow, tomorrow morning while grinding your coffee beans for your double mocha latte,
remember to not get your genitals caught in the grinder.
It really hurts. Who can afford plastic surgery? Stay safe, everyone.
Two douchebags and microphone in an effort to keep everything fresh.
We offer you first world problems.
Damn it. The city services website is down again.
I can't believe this. I'm going to have to actually call and talk to someone to pay my damn trash bill.
This is ridiculous.
Now it's time for pick up lines from a loser.
Are you a banana? You look appealing.
Next up, things overheard in hell.
Howard Stern just signed a 10-year contract extension.
Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to climb, melt, and do.
Have you ever wondered where something is at?
Have you ever looked at something and said,
I wonder what the origin of that is?
Well, so have we. That's why we give you The Origin of...
This is the origin of eyeliner.
Eyeliner originated in ancient Egypt and has been used for thousands of years across cultures.
In Chad, young men from nomadic clans wore kohl eyeliner to attract wives.
In the Inqatali, dancers wore kajal to tell stories through their eyes.
Grandwomen use eyeliner as a symbol of resistance.
Next up, things overheard in hell.
The 24-7 Jerry Lewis Telephone is coming right up.
Alright, next coming up here we have a list of the top 10 breakfast diner foods of all time.
They did a survey, and out of this survey they took these numbers down,
and they went by popularity of what people order.
So, here we go. Number 10 is the waffle.
I thought the waffle was going to be a little bit further down on the list because, well, I mean, you know,
it seems like every place has a waffle, and that's one of their specialties,
whether they put strawberries over it or a cinnamon waffle or a French toast waffle or something.
It seems to be a gimmick that goes on at most of the diners that I know of.
They go in there and they go, hey, what's your specialty?
Oh, we got this waffle. It's a chocolate chip waffle with, I don't know, this crazy vanilla syrup or something.
You know, all of them seem to be proud of their waffle and how they make it and how it tastes.
So, I thought it would have been like, I don't know, maybe number one or two or something like that,
but this is number 10, which is still a great showing.
Just, I didn't expect it to be that far up, but you know what? What do I know?
So, number nine, and I don't know if I really consider this a breakfast food or not, but, well, a Reuben.
A Reuben is number nine, and it's really hard to mess up a Reuben.
I mean, most places, you know what you're going to get with a Reuben, whether they, you know, go all out on it
and make it Irish style or something, that's different.
But most places, it's like corned beef, Thousand Island dressing, sauerkraut, rye bread, and there's no way to really screw that up.
Not every place you know of can make a pretty decent Reuben.
And so, I can see how come that registered high. I just question whether it's a breakfast food or not.
So anyhow, you make up your own choice. It doesn't matter. That's what people said.
So, number eight, hash browns.
Hash browns are probably the most iconic breakfast side.
I mean, they have American fries, you can even order regular fries.
Even fried potatoes, if some place has served that, you know, with the chunks and, you know, the sliced potatoes and onions and all that stuff.
But hash browns, number eight, that's a good showing, but that is one of the ones that I thought would actually be down lower than that,
because it seems to me like everybody orders hash browns.
I mean, even if you go to McDonald's or Burger King, their version of the hash browns, hash rounds or whatever they call them, or, you know, so.
Number seven, and this surprises me because if they're going to go into something like this, why don't they go to coffee?
I guess this is more like food, though, a milkshake.
A milkshake, yeah, I see why people order it. I mean, they make them very good at a lot of places.
So, as a breakfast food, I don't know. I don't think I've ever had a milkshake for breakfast.
I've had a coffee milkshake for breakfast down at the City Market Diner where Topher and I do our NFL show at.
And they have a coffee shake that's out of this world.
I mean, you add a couple of shots of espresso to that and I mean, you know, you're good for all day.
You're like running hamster circles. It's yeah, it's good stuff.
So number seven is milkshake. Number six is a good old bacon cheeseburger.
I've ordered a bacon cheeseburger before for breakfast and that and I understand it.
Sometimes you don't feel like eggs. Sometimes you don't feel like ham or bacon.
You're like, you know what? I'm just going to go for it. I'm going to order a good old bacon cheeseburger.
And this again, I go back to it's really hard to screw up.
You're probably going to get one no matter where you go. And they're always good.
I mean, and you know, unless it comes out mooing or something, you're pretty happy with it usually.
Or, you know, at least going, yeah, it worked. It's good.
But it rarely do I ever hear anyone go, man, that bacon cheeseburger was trash, man.
Like garbage. You hardly ever hear that.
You might in a rare occasion, someone didn't know what they're doing or put the wrong condiment or whatever.
So but most of the times, whenever someone orders a bacon cheeseburger, they're pretty happy about that.
And they usually go the extreme, not the extreme, but the bacon double cheeseburger sounds even better, doesn't it?
So number five, and I can't believe this is a head of hash browns, but it's loaded fries.
Now, loaded fries are awesome, but I consider them again, more of a dinner lunch food, something like that instead of breakfast food.
I guess this varies. It probably depends on where you live in America, honestly.
You know, it's probably there's places not here in the Midwest, but there's probably a lot of places that they accept loaded fries as a dessert or not a dessert, but a breakfast.
So, OK, I don't necessarily see eye to eye to that one. It's not that I don't love loaded fries.
Love putting chili and cheese on them, some chives. There's other stuff you can put on them, too.
That's very good. Sour cream, of course, cheese. But anyhow, that's cool.
Number four, I'm not a fan of this, never had been a fan of this. As a matter of fact, I think it's kind of nasty.
Val loves it. She's had him plenty of times when we order breakfast.
Eggs Benedict. Eggs Benedict to me. I don't know. I don't like it.
I don't like the gooey runny egg over everything that looks completely delicious.
I mean, you put this liquid chicken fetus all over your food.
I don't know. I don't like the gooeyness. I don't like the the feeling of it. I don't like the look of it.
Nothing gooey eggs. Easy eggs to me are trash. Someone gives them to me.
They go right straight in the trash and I leave. So, yeah, I'm not an eggs Benedict fan, but if you are, God bless you.
Val loves them. So you know what? All right. Well, I mean, obviously a lot of people love them.
Number four on the list. Number three. Oh, yeah, I agree with this.
And this again goes to it's hard to screw up. So a lot of people probably love it.
This is eggs Benedict or not eggs Benedict. What the hell? I'm still asleep. I'm sorry.
I'm doing this in the morning as opposed to in the evening because of scheduling.
So number three is biscuits and gravy. It's hard to screw them up unless you make the gravy horrible or the biscuits stale.
I've had a stale biscuit before that I don't know got lost in the pile or something.
And then you put some gravy over and it's horrible. You know, I kind of like to leave the biscuit and eat the gravy or ask for another biscuit.
Or if it's one of those hotel situations with a free breakfast or something like that, you go up and you find the fresh batch of biscuits and you grab them there.
You know, sometimes you just wait and see the lady bring them out and you're like, OK, I'm going to pick off a couple of them while they're still steaming hot.
So biscuits and gravy are awesome. And number three, deservingly.
Number two, I agree with this 100 percent. It'd be my number one because this is my staple must go to.
And I even go to the to the omelet bar and I'm talking about omelets omelet bar on cruise ship.
I wake up early enough to go take advantage of that. You go up there the first time and you go to the guy making omelets.
He's usually doing it all the whole cruise.
And I think they do this on purpose at continuity allows you to give them a tip.
So I go up there and I tell him exactly what I want.
And those guys are so good they remember it the next day when you come up there and they remember you split them a 20 and they have another line over there with nobody in it.
And they look over there, they look at you and they look over there, you walk over there and they slide you one while making the other omelets.
So and they also remember how you like it. So omelets, I agree, 100 percent.
I like a little bit of everything on my own. And I think they're fantastic.
I mean, diced tomatoes, peppers, onions, some people like avocado cheese.
I mean, it's just fantastic stuff. Yep. All mixed up in some done eggs, not runny eggs.
And I think you got yourself a hell of a meal there for breakfast.
And number one, and this doesn't surprise me when I think about it.
I just didn't think about it when I was looking at this.
Number one is pancakes. And this goes back to like waffles.
Everybody has their own pancake that they like and everyone has their own pancake that's their specialty.
So if you go into Cafe A, they're like, yeah, we have chocolate chip pancakes and we have real maple syrup.
You go into Cafe B, they go, yeah, we have chocolate vanilla pancakes with a raspberry syrup.
You know, they all have their own versions of whatever breakfast, breakfast cake, pancakes, whatever.
I mean, they throw their own little sizzle on it and that's good and people love it.
So I get why pancakes are the number one diner breakfast food in America.
So anyhow, that is the whole list. And I agree with it mostly.
I think some of it's kind of maybe I agree with everything on the top 10.
I think some of them could have been moved around a little bit.
I mean, this is just me, though, and this is just the Midwest.
I went to other parts of the country where like California, they like a bunch of fresh fruit with a little bit of everything else.
You come to the Midwest where we have a lot of beef and pork.
It's beef and pork with a little bit of fruit and cottage cheese and stuff like that.
So it just depends on where you're at, too. So that's the end of this list.
And that's the end of this list.
Kansas Chiefs quarterback Patrick Mahomes is beginning to own the records and accomplishments and he's going through them rather quickly.
He became the franchise leader in passing yards during the week one victory over the Baltimore Ravens.
And it appears to be the first of many to fall this season.
The Chiefs reigning Super Bowl MVP will only be making his 98th career start on Sunday with a win against Cincinnati.
Mahomes will tie Tom Brady and pro football Hall of Famer Roger Staubach with 76 career wins.
All three would be tied for the most wins by a quarterback in the first 100 career starts.
Mahomes is also likely to surpass Matthew Stafford for the most completions by a quarterback in his first 100 career starts with five.
Three touchdown passes will put Mahomes on target to overtake Aaron Rodgers, 222 touchdown passes and for the most by a quarterback in the first 100 career starts.
That is really good company. And some that is insane.
I mean, how long has Roger been playing and how long has Mahomes been playing?
I mean, you look at that and analyze that from that alone and you're going to say, man, I mean, the guy has just been insane.
He's a generational talent. You don't get these guys all the time.
And it's going to be fun to see the bar he sets from here on out if you want to be the best.
I know quarterbacks are constantly getting better, stronger, bigger.
Let's see, more instinct maybe. You know, they're growing up in football.
They're growing up with the with the best equipment around.
I mean, hell, if you play football in Texas, you have what a lot of pro teams have.
You know, this is high school and then college.
If you play down there, you have the same equipment that the pros do.
And you have great coaches that want to be there that are great at coaching the team.
So, I mean, it's progressed a lot, but I still can't fathom other quarterbacks just coming in and doing what he did,
even how much we progressed in the quarterback slot.
So, I mean, over the whole NFL, the whole body of work, it's going to be really cool to see how this all plays out when it's done.
I mean, I hope my home stays healthy so we can accomplish all these records and break them and go way past them.
So, I think he set a new standard every time he gets out on the field,
not just from his gimmick plays like the behind the back pass or his no look pass,
but also because of his accuracy, his smarts, his able to improvise, his ability to run,
his ability to scramble, his ability to take a hit, his ability to play hurt.
All of this is just insane when you look at his body of work and look at a compilation of everything that he's done.
It's really impressive.
So, and while we're talking about football, the NFL fined the Chiefs $100,000
and tied in Peyton Hendershot $5,472 for a sideline shoving incident during the fourth quarter of the opening game victory over the Baltimore Ravens on September 5th.
Ravens linebacker, Ron Smith, made contact with Patrick Mahomes and appeared to shove him down after he ran out of bounds on a play early in the fourth quarter.
Hendershot, who was inactive for the game and not in uniform, came to Mahomes' defense and shoved Smith.
No flags were thrown. After the game, Smith accused Mahomes of flopping on the play to make it look like a shot.
And he took a shot at Henderson, who joined the Chiefs via trade with the Dallas Cowboys last month.
Whoever 88 Hendershot is, I don't know who he is, but he better watch himself, Smith said. He did a little slick push. I'll see him when I see him.
According to Tom Policero of NFL.com, the NFL sent teams a reminder in a memo before the season prohibiting non-participating players from making unnecessary physical contact
with or taunting or direct an abusive language, threatening or insulting language or gestures to the opponents.
The officials or representatives of the league said this in a statement. Policero reported that Hendershot planned to appeal the fine, which I agree with.
Smith was one of the two Ravens who received fines for other incidents in the games.
Smith was fined $16,883 for a horse-collar tackle of running back Isaiah Pacheco.
Smith was penalized on the play. Outside linebacker Adake Awaw, or away or whatever, however you spell it or pronounce it, was fined $20,050 for a fourth quarter tackle on Pacheco,
in which he appeared to hit the Chiefs running back on his side with the crown of his helmet.
Awaw was not penalized on the play.
So, you know, it kind of looks to me like this right here, and I don't think I'm just being a homer, but I don't know if there was a bounty on the Homes.
Let's just say there isn't because that's really dirty and that's highly illegal in the NFL.
Let's just say it kind of looked like maybe they're trying to hurt my Homes and some other people, some of our key players, to knock them out.
And that right there is not good. I mean, needless to say.
So, whenever you sit there and you see your quarterback get shoved to the ground after he's out of bounds and well out of bounds, it's going to piss you off.
It's just like if someone came up and slapped your mom. You would like jump up and start beating the hell out of whoever did that.
Same thing. These guys are close. This guy did something egregious and Hendershot took action and I commend him.
And I'll bet you anything, if he does lose the appeal, I'll bet you the Chiefs pay for it and say, hey, keep up the good work.
This is my thought. Not theirs. I didn't say anything like this because I think that this was fully warranted and probably undertone, you know, under breath sanctioned because this is the stuff you need to stop.
Because the thing you don't want to happen is you hurt our guy. Well, we're going to hurt your guy.
You know, Lamar Jackson, he runs up the middle a lot. It'd be very easy to take a shot at his knee or try to break his leg or something because he puts himself out there in the regular play to where it could happen very easily.
To my knowledge, from what I've seen, we did not do that. But if you do something like that too much to our guy, it's natural for us to react and go, all right, we're going to give you a taste of your own medicine.
So you did this to our guy, Mahomes. So we're going to do this to your guys, Jackson.
So I think that maybe the Ravens better go back home and and they probably haven't thought about it.
Be classy. All that smack talk that they did after the game and all that.
And then before the game, I mean, you know what? If we see them in the playoffs again, every bet that's going to be in the locker room, the hit, the late hits on Mahomes, there's two late hits.
The first late hit was not called. And and I think that the refs knew that they blew it.
That's why they went ahead and let Spagnolo call a timeout is, you know, they talk about doing makeup plays whenever they know they missed something or called something that wasn't correct.
I think this could be a makeup play very easily because they said they do exist.
And I think they realize like that one got away from him and they should have find the guy or not find the guy. Well, maybe find him too.
But they should have penalized the guy for a late hit. That should have been 15 yards.
The drive should have been kept alive. I mean, and I think it's pretty easy to see.
So we'll see what happens with this. I hope it just stops right there.
It gets crumpled up. And if we see them again, I hope both teams just kind of like, OK, that was then.
This is now. So we'll see what happens. And that's pretty much it on that.
And we ever wonder where something came about? And have you ever looked at something and said, I wonder what the origin of that is?
Well, so have we. That's why we give you the origin of the origins of Benyay.
Benyay's first maiden appearance in New Orleans in the seventeen hundreds when French Creole colonists settled the land, according to New Orleans dot com, also known as French Arcadians.
They moved to the bayou lands in Louisiana after they were forced from their homes in the Nova Scotia area by the British, reports Britannica.
Your mama's so fat, Dracula, bitter neck and got diabetes.
Our constant pursuit for a real knee slapper. It's strange insults from an alien. Real hilarity.
If you were a spice, you would be flour.
Next up, things overheard in hell.
This wallah has the top ten spots on Billboard Hot 100.
Somewhere in the heavens, your great Grammy Gertrude is crying because her little Bebo is listening to this film.
Hey, everybody. This part of the podcast has been recorded Sunday evening, actually night about 10 o'clock.
Most of the games have been completed. The Texans are leading Chicago right now in Sunday Night Football.
But what I'm getting ready to go into is a little bit of Jamar Chase and why he got that 15 yard penalty.
I hear a lot of outrage, a lot of people screaming bullshit and all that.
Well, here are my thoughts on it.
And if you have any different thoughts on it, you're welcome to email me. That'd be douche B66 at Yahoo dot com.
It's still screwed up, but I'm getting some emails.
So hopefully, you know, I can get yours if you have an opinion on it.
But I'll put it like this. All the whole game, Jamar Chase was ragging on him, ragging on him and ragging on him.
To me, it looked like the official was fed up and he took a little too far.
I think he threw like maybe a couple of explicit explicit words, maybe aimed at family members or something.
You know, he said something that was just completely over the top after he'd been yakking on the official all day.
So the official was simply he was tired of hearing it and he said that one magical thing that pissed him off so bad that he threw the flag.
And it is also Jamar Chase's responsibility to not do that and to not affect the game.
That right there is a sign of not not having enough discipline, not having enough discipline.
You're not going to have a very good team.
So now this team is 0 and 2. You see where I'm going with this?
So a championship team doesn't do this. They don't find ways to blame someone else.
When San Francisco lost in the Super Bowl, they didn't start whining and saying, well, as the officials are nothing like that.
They they took their cleats and they went home, said, all right, man, I guess we're going to try it again next year.
So I mean, that's pretty much long and the short of it.
Jamar Chase deserved what he got. And if he doesn't want to get that again, he needs to quite simply just shut his mouth.
On another note, little skipper bailus probably over there waving his tiny little fists in the air, still bitching.
That is a golden boy.
Lost again to the Chiefs. We kept hearing stuff like bro head and they have our number and all that.
Well, this looks to me like three in a row. The Chiefs have won.
So maybe some of that talk is going to stop now. Jamar Chase, he needs to get his emotions out of it.
He hates the Chiefs because quite simply, we beat their ass enough times.
I mean, they got us a few times, too. Don't get me wrong.
But I'm telling you, we're under their skin and that is showing with their actions.
I mean, even Burrow slammed his helmet down and was pissed off and screaming.
So, you know, and then another thing, little skippy bailus is probably pissed off about is Dallas Cowboys.
They look like shit again. They're horrible. They're a horrible team.
They are one of the worst managed teams. Jerry Jones needs to let it go.
He needs to stop. He needs to give it to a real general manager and let them have the reins.
And he needs to go sit down and just watch the game.
You don't see Clark Hunt doing any of this shit. Clark Hunt found the people that he wants running it.
He wants Andy Reid to control everything on the field.
And he wants Brett Veatch to control everything business wise, including drafting.
So it's a perfect scenario for them. And it's working.
So Jerry Jones needs to just find that guy, that guy that he believes in and say, all right,
this is my guy that's going to take us into the next winning generation of this team.
So I think you're going to continue to see the downward spiral of the Cowboys because of this.
And how about the Arizona Cardinals? Marvin Harrison Jr. is looking a lot like his old man.
He suddenly made Kyler Murray a viable threat. They won 41 to 10, I believe.
Their defense looked great. They got all over Matthew Stafford.
And the Rams went down in a heap of smoking shit.
So the good news is for the Rams, it's early in the season.
The bad news is they lost Arizona. The good news is it's early in the season.
And they could get this thing turned around. The bad news is you lost to Arizona.
The good news is that they have a lot of time to try to change their game plan and try to protect Stafford.
So anyhow, but then again, I go to the bad news is you lost to Arizona.
That's going to be hard to swallow. So anyhow, I think down there in Jacksonville,
it's self to say that Doug Peterson watches on.
He could possibly be the first head coach let go this year.
Not looking good for him. You know, he had everything that he thought he needed to win.
Trevor Lawrence and a solid defense and some receivers, some blockers.
It was looking pretty promising. But not now.
Falling flat on their face to the Browns at home. Not good. Not good.
Doug Peterson watches officially on. And how about the Baltimore Ravens?
Those guys were such braggadocious. Just thought they left Arrowhead like they wanted.
They're over there pounding their chest, bitching, griping, moaning.
You think they've been so mad that they would have just came over there and beat the shit out of the Raiders.
It didn't happen. The Raiders beat the shit out of them.
I'm questioning their team and their toughness.
I'm starting to think that it doesn't matter. You can have Travis Henry all you want.
You can have Lamar Jackson all you want. It's not getting it done. They're one and one now.
They think they have these big playoffs aspirations. They probably are going to be in the playoffs.
But I don't think they're going to be the number one seed.
I see a lot of holes in their game. They don't look so good.
So, you know, instead of blaming the Chiefs, maybe they need to look in the mirror.
There have been some other ones too. The Broncos fell flat on their face. They only scored like six points.
I mean, there has been some surprises and some not so surprises.
The Chiefs being 2-0 is kind of surprising to me because those two caliber teams that came into Arrowhead
seemed to me like there is absolutely no Super Bowl hangover like there was last year either.
Neither, well, they did lose to the Lions and they may have had a little bit of a Super Bowl hangover,
but they got rid of it pretty quickly.
And last season there was times when we did not look very good,
but somehow when we hit that playoff run, we just revved it up and did it.
So this year around looks different. It looks like the Chiefs are hungry again
and they're tired of people mouthing and lipping off about them and they're going to prove them wrong.
They want to get to three peats so they can wave their finger, give everybody a double barrel.
And I hope that's exactly what happens because these teams need to get better than motherfucking everybody else.
So anyhow, that's kind of all the wrap up I want to give about the NFL
because Topher and I will discuss this further on our next podcast.
Anyhow, everybody have a night. I think it's probably going to be the end of this podcast.
And then I'll piece it together with the other ones and you guys will get a fresh one here tonight or tomorrow or I don't know, someday here soon.
Over and out.
Oh, no, looks like the show's over kids. Mark has explosive diarrhea and can't afford a wireless mic.
Fear not, assholes. They'll be back invading your ear holes soon.