And now it's time for...
The Daily Deucebag Pledge
Here at Two Deucebags in a Microphone, we don't stand behind our journalistic integrity.
Go ahead and assume we got the story wrong. At least we admit it.
Not like all those other guys, we can and will lie if it makes the story better.
Two Deucebags and a Microphone
We Talk
Jesus
And now, Deep Thoughts with Mark
Does a straw have one hole? Or does it have two?
I may never know.
Our Constant Pursuit for a Real Knee Slapper
It's Strange Insults from an Alien. Real Hilarity.
I will Grace You.
But my mom told me to not burn trash.
Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe
Hello, this is Satan. You might know me from my pet name, Inflation.
I'm here to tell you that there's no better way to relax than listening to Two Deucebags in a Microphone by a nice warm fire at night.
I sit there and I reflect on all the souls I burned that day.
Enjoy.
Two Deucebags in a Microphone
Two Deucebags in a Microphone, Mark.
And I'm Rob.
Hey Rob, how are you this evening?
I'm doing actually pretty good, my friend.
Good. Good to hear.
How are you?
Oh, everything's good, man.
How's the family?
Family's good. Everybody is doing well as far as I know, you know.
Mom's old, you know. So, old things happen to old people.
All things considered, she's doing alright.
If I'm doing that well at her age, I'm going to be just ecstatic while I'm shitting myself.
So, anyhow. Alrighty. Well, I'm going to recreate some of what was clipped off of the last episode, like I said.
So, anyhow, I told you, you know, I'm going to go into...
Yeah, I'm not sure if the part you mentioned me, it doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter. So, anyhow. Alright.
Yeah, it don't matter.
It don't matter. Yeah. Yeah, we're going to cover it again if we do so you guys get to hear it twice.
Yeah, yeah, I can hear the excitement, Rob, can't you?
Oh, yeah, I can.
Yeah, yeah, shoo.
I was listening to her latest...
Everybody's clamoring for it.
...call me.
Everybody's...
Yeah, I know where we've been. Yeah, and I've been listening off and on all day.
Everyone's...
I was in trouble behind.
Oh, well. Okay, so the other day I had the day off and so I was telling you about the plumbing really sucked.
It was about $1,500 and anyhow, so that kind of sucked.
But you know what? What doesn't suck is everything where all the plumbing works again.
So that doesn't suck. You know, $1,500 in the minus is not fucking great.
But you know what? I'm just happy that we were able to get it fixed in a day.
Might have cost a little bit, but I'm glad...
You could bust your shit again.
Exactly, that's great. Yeah, I tried going outside, but you know...
Rob, Rob.
Yeah, I tried going outside...
I'm happy for you, my friend.
Well, thank you. I tried going outside, but you know, people are taking pictures and stuff, so...
I know a lot of money, but I'm happy for you.
Yep, yep. So anyhow, what I forgot to tell you though that day is, you know, I love Dave's Hot Chicken.
It's that chicken chain, I believe, from California.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You talk about all the time.
We gotta go there next time I get up there, which is coming close.
Okay, when you come up here, first point...
My truck going in the shop for exhaust and inspection this week, so...
Okay, well, anyhow, we're gonna be...
Dave's Hot Chicken has an amazing slider.
This slider is just, I mean, it's heavenly, dude. Listen to what the...
It has the hot chicken on it, okay? The breaded hot chicken, slaw, spicy mayo sauce, and pickles.
It was amazing, dude.
It was amazing. Doesn't that sound good?
It sounds good.
Yeah, so what we'll do is when we go to Dave's Hot Chicken is...
And I legitimately love this place. They're not paying me anything, you know.
No one's paying us anything, actually.
But if we were getting advertisements, they wouldn't be advertising.
So anyhow, what we'll do is we'll get...
All I know is I don't get it down here.
That's why when you...
I don't get the money down here if you get it.
Yeah, when you come up, we'll go, so...
I believe you.
So yeah, then you'll believe me after that. You'll be like,
Mark, this fucking chicken's amazing.
And I'll go, yeah, how many times have I told you?
And you're going to go, probably about 2,000, maybe a little bit more, give or take.
So...
I'm just looking for something new than local.
You know, like I said, it's a chain.
I mean, you know, I'm used to local. I love local.
Well, I don't usually...
I like to get away and taste some different local, you know.
Yeah, well, I usually like local too, but this place is phenomenal.
And you'll see what I mean.
That's what I'm saying. Yeah, that's what I would like.
Okay, so here's... when we go there, we're going to get the regular strip ones,
the filets that they sell, and then we're going to get a couple of sliders each.
And I want you to try all of them, and I'm pretty sure you'll love them.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I want sandwiches.
Yeah, I mean, they don't have a big menu.
It's all Dave's Hot Chicken.
They don't sell anything else.
That's it, but it's in different formats, like it's the breaded.
They got mac and cheese. That's good.
And my truck's getting close to getting on the road, so...
Okay, good, good.
So we'll be looking forward to seeing you.
I'll be up there soon.
That sounds great, Rob. Cool.
You get to come in and talk to Cheap Studio.
And we will do a podcast side by side.
That would be awesome.
That would be your studio.
Now, the talk is Cheap Studio. Yep.
So...
We will be side by side, yeah.
Yes, we will.
So, the NFL, this game happened last night, and nothing happened, okay?
But the NFL has...
Yeah, yeah.
They has issued...
I watched it. I watched it.
You watched the game last night, or are you talking about the Chiefs game the night before?
No, no, the Green Bay game.
Yes, you watched it. Oh, yeah, that's right, it was on Peacock.
Well...
Yeah.
The NFL has issued warnings to all personnel and players in the Philadelphia versus Green Bay in Brazil game.
NFL had issued the following players strongly advise not to leave their hotel room,
do not respond to odd text messages, and family should not come with the players.
This is a response...
Yeah, that was before the game.
Yes.
And this is a response...
Yeah, that was before the game.
Yep.
And this is a response to the rising crime rate in Brazil.
Right.
Yeah.
So, anyhow, I mean...
I read it. I read it. I read it. I almost reported on it.
Yeah, yeah. So, well, it's reported now.
So, anyhow, the game's over with and nothing happened, so that's a good thing.
But I read a memo for the Bears-Titans game in Chicago next weekend.
It had the same instructions.
Kansas City's memo just read,
Run from the criminal, but make sure and don't fall in one of our huge potholes.
Could be more lethal than being shot.
That's Kansas City's memo.
Hey, just listen to our promos.
Yes.
Just listen to our promos. I'll tell you all about it.
Yep. Yeah. Am I trying to make a point?
And I don't even live in Game City anymore.
Yep.
So, anyhow, yeah, if anyone doesn't quite understand what I'm looking at,
just put crime rate in Kansas City and I think you'll see what I'm talking about.
Yeah, just look it up. Like, we're telling everybody to look it up.
Yeah, we're trying to give Chicago a run for their money. I can tell you that.
So...
I think... I think they've got the...
Kansas City's saying, hold my beer, bitch.
And yeah, you're going to hear that every fucking...
My opinion.
...every show. All right, that's fine.
That don't even matter.
Opinions are opinions. So, you know, everyone's entitled to them.
And like I've always heard, opinions are like assholes.
Everyone's got one and they all pretty much stink.
Oh, dude, that's... yeah, that's my motto.
Yeah, so...
That's my motto.
Anyhow, one of the stories that I could not get to was...
You know what? I'll get to that one here in a minute.
Okay. Rob, on the last episode, he spoke about the casinos
that is going to go to the ballot now
because the Lake area's been wanting a casino.
Yeah, down here at Lake and Ballot's Arts, yeah.
Yeah. So, anyhow, now it's going to go to the ballot,
which should have happened from the first.
If the people there want a casino, they should be able to get a casino.
If the people there don't want a casino, then fine.
I'm telling you, just from what I'm hearing and reading and everything down here,
everybody down here is up for it.
It's just the problem is...
it's on a different river than the Missouri and the Mississippi.
No, like we talked about.
The rest of the state has to vote on it.
So we're hoping we have enough visitors that still live in the state,
like in St. Louis or Kansas City or wherever that comes here,
that still has a right to vote.
Yeah.
We're depending on that.
It sounds like it's going to pass.
The only struggle is over the waterway, the Osage River instead of the Missouri and the Mississippi.
That's going to be the only...
Well, if they voted in, then does that mean that it's going to go ahead and come of existence,
or is there any other steps that you know about after that?
Well, all I know is that once they say yes, you can have it,
as far as I know, it's getting built.
Okay.
So the vote to the people would be the final phase of it.
Yeah.
We're waiting on the vote of Missouri whether to allow it on a different river.
That's the main thing.
It's what river it's on.
Yes.
The Missouri or the Mississippi, which is the two main riverways.
Actually...
And that's what they allowed the casinos on.
It shouldn't matter.
Now we have other riverways wanting in.
So it's either let us in now or ever, you know?
Yeah.
That's it.
Okay.
Well, anyhow, we'll see how that turns out.
You're stuck on the Missouri and the Mississippi,
and anybody else in the state cannot start up a casino on the water.
That's the way it's stayed.
Okay, well, you know what?
That's over-balanced.
Yes.
Yep.
So hopefully that comes through.
But it sounds like it may pass.
Yes, sounds like it may pass.
All right.
Gloosy Guzzler champ Joey Chestnut has done it one more time.
The world's number one ranked eater defeated not only his rival,
Kobachi Kobayashi, but his own world record
when he sucked down 83 hot dogs and buns within 10 minutes.
The extremely hype rematch was a member board...
Say it again?
Yeah.
That's a lot of hot dogs, dude.
Uh-huh.
That's a lot of hot dogs.
Uh-huh.
Go ahead.
Let's see here.
Well, I'm just going to quit it because you don't like this story.
That's okay.
I'm okay.
No, no, no, no.
Oh, go ahead.
Are you sure?
No.
Okay.
What?
The extremely hype rematch was a memorable one.
Rob, this is cool, but I would love a follow-up at next eight contests called the,
you know, like the American, the Great American Crap Off.
This could be divided into several categories such as weight of the stool,
durability of texture, length in one piece, you know, stuff like that.
It reminds me of Davey's shit story, but I'll go to that here in a little bit.
Anyhow, this magical event could even take different turns like the spicy chili category
or even the laxative event for those taking some time to discharge the glizzies.
You know, I'm getting tingly, Rob.
How about a moon pie eating contest?
Wouldn't that be the best?
Definitely.
I mean, anyhow, I just found out I'm colorblind.
It just came out of the purple.
So, anyhow, let me see here.
Okay.
The Ravens seemed a little pissy after their loss to the Chiefs on opening night.
The press conference after a good indication was a good indication of this.
Lamar Jackson was asked about the receiver, say, unlikely, being over the line,
and he said he didn't believe he was out of bounds.
So, I mean...
Well, if you look at the pictures, if he was one shoe size smaller, he'd been fine.
He'd been fine, yes.
And also what Mahone said is...
That one shoe size caught him.
Yeah.
So, you know, being over the line, he said he didn't believe it.
So, Likely said at the press conference,
if that's all they got, then I feel sorry for them playoff time.
Well, Mr. Likely, this team who you lost to the last two games,
the last game of 2023, and then lost again the first game of 2024 season,
I would say your team winning in the playoffs are not likely.
Class act, Patrick Mahomes was asked if they had any advice for Isaiah Likely.
Mahomes replied he needs to wear white cleats.
And yeah, that's funny, but it's true.
Have you noticed all the Chiefs wear white cleats?
Yeah.
And the reason is, is if they look at the line,
they cannot definitively tell you that you were over the line with white cleats.
With black cleats...
Right, right, right.
Yeah, like Likely was wearing.
And he was in black with a white line.
Bingo.
So what Mahomes said was funny.
So I see where Patrick said it.
You wear white cleats, they won't follow it.
Yeah. Yeah.
And so although what he said was funny, it's true,
because the Chiefs harp on that to all their players.
They say, wear white cleats.
Wear white cleats.
A lot of teams kind of do that memo, but I guess he didn't get it.
Likely's all pissed off because he didn't think he was out of bounds.
Well, if he would have wore white shoes, there's no way they could have told.
And also, another thing that they forget to mention is,
they still had to make a two-point conversion to win.
If not, the game's going into overtime, you know?
So anyhow, and if...
Yeah, if nothing else, they still would have lost by one.
Yes.
So anyhow, so them acting like they were going to win
if it wasn't for that one play is complete nonsense.
There was still one more play after that to win or lose.
And I mean, you know, maybe Lamar made it in.
Maybe he didn't.
Yeah.
Well, all the stories I read, they were arguing about it.
And everybody said, well, watch the film.
Yes.
Your show is over the line.
It was so bad that Chris Collinsworth caught it.
What are you arguing about?
Chris Collinsworth caught it.
That tells you how blatant it was.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
If Chris could catch it, everybody can.
Bingo.
Yes.
So there you go.
Anyhow, and anyhow, there's a new development in the NFL.
They have been experimenting with the Hawkeye Eye technology.
We talked about this before, remember?
This system will immediately determine if the line of gain
has been reached once a football has been spotted by the referee.
There will not be.
I hope.
I think it will make the game faster and better.
There will not be a need for measuring by the officials potentially speeding up the game.
State Farm is having a rough time coming up with 10 more hours of Jake to fill in the extra time.
So there you go.
You know, my wife asked me the other day where I got so much candy,
told her I had a few Twix up my sleeve.
Hey, where did Pirus go to get their hooks?
The secondhand store.
The grocery store.
I'm going to go down to Constantino's and get a couple of hooks.
That would be cool.
I would go there just to see the hooks.
Erotica?
Yeah.
From back in the day?
Yeah.
Erotica?
Erotic City?
Down on what was that?
Independence Avenue?
It was right off 435.
That was Truman.
Was that Truman?
Erotic City.
Yeah, that was Truman Road, I believe.
I think it's still there, dude.
Yeah, yeah, well, hey, yeah, they're like one inch to the park.
Come on, give me a break.
They're there in quite a while, but I think they're still there.
I, I, it's going to be as strange as I am, Mark, and you know me, from back in the day.
Yep.
I never stepped foot in Erotic City.
I never did.
No, one time me and some friends were going to like play some gags on some people.
I heard shit, I wanted to go in there, but I never did.
No, man, me and some buddies almost went in there because we're going to, we were wanting
to buy some dildos and put them in people's lunch boxes.
And anyhow, we wouldn't go in there because we saw the people going in there and we're
like, uh-uh, no, no.
So we didn't get them.
I heard about the quarter machine, the quarter shows.
Quarter shows, what's that?
Yeah, you drop a quarter in and they open a blind and show you.
Yeah.
Huh.
There's a woman live backstage, you know what I'm saying?
Okay, so you went into a booth and you put a quarter in the blind open.
Yeah.
Wow.
Or whatever it was, I don't remember what it was.
No, we saw the type of, the type of people going in there and we're like, you know what,
it may have been a great, it may have been a great gag.
I've heard some stories.
I never went in there, that's what I'm saying.
I never went in there.
When I worked at this concrete plant.
I've heard those stories.
Okay.
When I, when I, when I worked at concrete plant, we was going to put it in the foreman that
was a real dick, we was going to put a fucking large jildo in his lunch box.
But we could not press ourselves to go in there.
Then we had a couple other people we was going to do it to just, you know, like, like put
one in their car when they leave their car unlocked or something.
And, you know, and wait till you know, maybe it's like the dad's car.
I went there for a while days when I was up there and that place was open and I never
walked in there.
You know what?
That's what I'm just talking about.
The one time I went out in front of it, I don't blame you for not going in there.
That place was nasty.
Yeah, yeah.
No, no, no.
Yeah, well, anyhow.
Um.
You go back in their booth or tell them what you find.
Oh God, no.
Ew.
You know, they're fucking.
Yeah, they're flat.
There's got to be splat all over those seats.
Hang with it.
Those there has to be splat all over those seats.
Right.
Because what else are guys doing in there?
I guarantee you, you take a black light, you'd be scared out.
You would not want to be in there.
It looked like a crime scene.
That's why I never went in.
You guys like me.
Oh, anyhow.
Like I said, I was a lot younger.
Well, evidently that place makes money.
30 years ago.
Yep.
Um, evidently that place makes money.
I do believe it's still open.
I mean, I was over there in that area a couple of years ago.
Right off the highway.
Yep.
It's still open.
Yeah.
And the reason it was there is because that's an unincorporated area of the Kansas City area.
It's not a part of any town.
It's unregulated Jackson County.
And so they.
Okay.
Let me give a real brief rundown of what we're talking about for those that don't know what we're talking about.
You know what?
That's a good idea, Rob.
Well, you know, I think that the product city was a sex shop in Kansas City.
And they had the back boost where you could drop a quarter in or whatever it was at the time.
I think it was a quarter.
Now it's probably three bucks.
And they would raise a curtain and you could watch a woman lie.
And it was also a sex shop so you could, you know, you go buy dildos, whatever you want in there.
You probably don't know that.
It was a big place.
I don't, like I said, I have not lived there in over 20 years.
Okay.
I don't know if it's still open.
I believe it is.
I didn't mention it and you're saying, yeah, it's still open.
I believe it is.
I don't know for sure. I'd have to drive by there and see, but I do believe it's still open.
Now, you probably don't know this because like me, you've never been in there.
So is there, what does the woman do?
She's obviously nude, right?
I heard it was just, like I said, I heard.
And that was over 20 years ago, man.
I'm still living in Kansas City.
Okay.
Oh well, you know what?
We're talking late 90s, you know.
Hey Rob, let's leave it at this, okay?
If you have ever been inside Erotic City, please email me.
Okay, yeah, let's do it that way.
Yeah, email me and tell me what it was.
I don't know for sure so I cannot say.
So therefore, let's drop it right there.
Yep.
So if you know something about it.
I cannot, please tell you what goes on.
I don't know.
Yeah.
Yep.
So anyhow.
They're still open.
And like I said, all I knew about was the booths where you go watch subjects, you know.
Okay.
All right, well that's enough of that.
All right, Rob, you got a story you want to go into.
Yeah, that's a good one.
You got a story, Rob?
Yeah, I do.
All righty.
The newly singer, Wiggen Park, has addressed online criticism for past support for Scientologist
and Nat 70 show actor Danny Masterson.
How am I bringing him back up?
Who was convicted in September 2023 for violently raping two women and sentenced to 30 years
of prison.
As soon as Wiggen Park announced that dad Sarah singer Emily Armstrong had joined the
group, anger erupted online over her appearance at one of Masterson's early court hearings.
Wow.
Okay, and she went on Instagram to say, Hi, I'm Emily, she wrote.
I'm there to show many of you and I want to clear the air about something that happened
a while back.
Several years ago, I was asked to support someone I consider as a friend at a court
hearing and went on early hearing as an observer.
So she went to a lot of court hearings as an observer.
Okay.
Soon after, I realized I shouldn't have.
I always try to see the good in people and I misjudged him.
I never spoke with him.
I don't imagine what he details emerged.
I didn't even later found guilty.
To say it was clearly possible.
I do not control abuse or violence against women.
I empathize with the victims of these crimes.
You know, I've been talking about Danny Ness.
Yeah, you have been keeping us up to date on him.
You know, I appreciate the fact that she came out and said that.
I think that's great.
This is the new Lincoln Park singer.
Uh-huh.
And it's a female, by the way.
Yeah, female.
Well, I'll tell you where to go.
Okay.
I'll go back.
Let me pull back down.
Right there.
The Daily Beast.
Okay.
This is where I found this.
Okay, cool.
I have not watched him sing.
I haven't either.
I don't know what the sound blast will wake him up.
Yeah.
I have a feeling she can't touch the old stuff, but who knows.
Yeah.
But still, she had a past with him, and she stopped it.
Yeah, yeah.
So I give her credit.
I give her credit.
I do too.
I accept what she says.
So now I am willing to listen to her when we come back.
Me too, because she flat out said, you know, she didn't know all the facts and everything, and then afterwards.
Yeah, exactly.
Well, if you read the story, that's exactly what she said.
Yeah, so there you go.
I was just asked to show up.
She showed up at one hearing and got caught on camera.
Yeah, it was somebody making a...
And now she's playing for it, even though she didn't even know the dude.
You know what?
Yeah, so anyhow, she cleared there, so that's cool.
All right, let's take our first break, man.
And then we'll come right back.
Sounds good.
All right.
And now, Deep Thoughts with Mark.
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
Hmph.
I may never know.
Yo mama's so old, she was a waitress at the Last Supper.
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Oh shit. What's that over there?
Oh no. This is island of horrible jokes.
Ugh.
Get my copy of Microsoft Office. I will find you and I will have my word.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Two Deuce Bags and microphone, I'm Mark.
And I'm Rob.
Rob, you ever wonder, you know, it's football season upon us once again.
So we got a taste of two games. We had the Thursday night and the Friday night game in Brazil.
So tomorrow's gonna be.
Yeah, I watched. Actually, I got to watch both of them.
Yeah, that's cool. Well, I got the second one recorded. I'm gonna watch it.
Because that sounds great.
I mean, the Eagles won it what 31 to 28 or something like that or 34 to 28.
Sounds like a pretty good game.
Yeah, so I'm gonna watch it. I got it recorded. So there.
You ever wonder what the snacks are, what the most popular snacks are for watching football?
They have a list here and they. Yeah, they did.
They yes, they did. And I mean, to me, it seems pretty close.
There's a couple of things I'd switch around if it was me, but I think it's pretty close to being accurate.
So they pulled I don't know how many people, quite a few people, you know, with a typical viewing time around three hours.
It's easy for fans to feel peckish during the game, which is why they'll typically go into snacks throughout, you know,
periodically grab some snacks. But what the what is the public more interested in with the football?
You know, not sure nachos, sliders or pizza or whatever.
So anyhow, they did this survey and here's what they found out.
The number 12. Snack.
With 20,000 people, yeah, 20,000 people reporting is a hot dog.
I thought the hot dog would be a little further up. Did you?
The number 12, I thought you'd be like number one. Yep, it isn't.
Well, number two hamburgers and yeah, that's what I thought, too.
So wait a second. Number three. Oh, wings.
Number one's got to be nachos and hamburgers. Oh, you're getting close. Rob, that wasn't bad.
OK, number 11 mozzarella sticks. I've done that before. It's good.
Well, yeah, it's been a while since I've been to the stadium, so I don't know what they serve.
Well, this is at home. Not those.
This is at home, not at the stadium. This is at home.
What people eat at home, you know, during their snack time and during a football game.
So yeah, this is at home. So like if there's all I thought it is pretty much.
So number 10 is pizza, which I thought pizza was going to be a little bit further up than number 10
because how many times I mean, at least with me, if we're having people coming over, I'm going somewhere.
Someone always orders a couple of pizzas, right?
Yeah, but you get burnt out on pizza. No, I know. But I mean, as far as popularity, I would say.
Somewhere else you get so much more food for what you pay for that pizza. Yeah. To be honest.
No, that's true. But I don't think I've been to very many football parties.
You go to McDonald's, you get two meals for what you pay for that pizza. Yeah. Yeah.
Well, no, no, no. I get what you're saying, but pizza is easy for people to go grab a slice
and go back into the room and start watching. So that's why I think that that's so popular, you know,
and everybody likes pizza, too. So number nine is popcorn.
I've never had popcorn during a game of you.
Now, a movie. Yeah. Yeah, but not a football game. No. No. Yeah.
To me, it just I don't get that at all.
This next one, I would say no to also because I've never had them during a football game.
But have you ever had potato skins?
And they're number eight. I can see that. I can see that. I guess I could.
It'd be something you could pass around. You go up there and grab five or six and bring back,
bring back in front of the TV and start chomping on, I guess. So, OK.
You order that and a hot dog and you got pretty much a meal and you're actually kind of filled up.
Yeah. Yeah. You see what I mean? Yeah, but I mean, you're scared.
I mean, better potato chips or french fries. Yeah.
But let's say there's three good games on. OK. And you're over.
You're over at a buddy's house, right? You got three good games going on as consecutively in a row.
OK. So then you have all this time to eat. So, you know, that's people are.
This is what they go to. You know, they're not looking to get full.
They're just going in. Well, you didn't. At that point, you got wives joking.
You better hit them taste. It doesn't be damn good.
You're right. Right. Number seven.
Get it. You're good. Get those tater skins when they're coming out of the oven
or the deep fat fryer or whatever, however the hell they make them.
OK. The next one I can see.
And here's why. Because you're drinking beer.
Number seven is pretzels. Not me. OK.
Pretzel and. OK. I'm not a pretzel fan either.
That would not be what I had during a football game.
But I can understand people want it because it goes good with beer. Yeah.
The salty. Yeah, I'm not a fan. I'm not a fan.
But I'm just saying I could see why people are. Me too.
So to be fair, I get that.
The next one. And I this is just to me common knowledge.
Number eight. I it's a no brainer chips and dip.
That should just be there automatically. Right.
That's a meal. Yeah, it should be there automatically.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Yes. It don't matter what get together.
Yeah. Don't have to be NFL.
No, that's what I'm saying is chips and dips should have just been there not even counted.
But anyhow. Yeah. OK.
Number six is chips and dips.
Number five, I thought was going to be number one or two, but it kind of surprised me.
Number five is chicken wings.
Everybody I know has chicken wings. Yeah.
Everybody I know has chicken wings.
Yeah, that that surprised me. I thought chicken wings would be a solid number.
No, go ahead. Shocking me. Yeah.
No, it shocked me, too. I'm like number five all the way down there.
Number four, barbecue ribs.
Yeah. Yeah, I see barbecue ribs.
I've barbecued many times for big football games.
You're talking about stuff that should be number one and number two.
Well, OK, this number. OK, number.
Go on. Let's see. Let's see how you kill this.
OK, number three. I think I could see why.
Number three is meatballs, Rob.
All right. Yeah, that's solid meatballs.
Number three. That's solid, Rob.
I was pissed to until I was pissed to until I saw meatballs.
I'm like, OK, do what you already cover my number one and number two.
No, the same here. But I mean, you know, everybody has number three.
Yep. Number two nachos.
I agree. Nachos are fantastic at anything, whether it's a party,
a graduation, a football game, whatever.
You're right. Yeah.
I just would have figured that further down the list.
Yeah. A nacho bar, though, would be awesome. I mean, you know.
OK. So like you could build chicken nachos or beef nachos.
You have the meat on different platters. Yeah.
So I get that. And you know what the number one is, and this really surprised me.
The number one is sliders.
Yeah, that's number one. But I mean, that didn't you know, that's another list.
Sorry, did I say that? Yeah, I did.
I didn't hear anything.
Sliders is number one.
OK. That honestly, the last couple of years, sliders have been making it. Come on.
They've been making a hell of a comeback. You're starting to see sliders everywhere.
Yeah, they come out of nowhere. Yeah.
And people love them. So. Yeah.
Which I think you can thank White Castle for that.
I agree 100 percent. We wouldn't even know about sliders if it wasn't for White Castle.
Right, right. Because that was all we had in Kansas City.
Yeah. And they were so good.
It was White Castle.
They were. You know what a slider was.
Oh, they were so good.
Oh, they still are.
Oh, yeah, I know they are.
Orders down here.
Well, these days I'm going to make it to Columbia.
They're not sliders, but you know.
I'm going to make it to Columbia.
Well, these days I'm Columbia bound and I am grabbing said White Castles, a couple of suitcases,
and bringing my ass back to KC and eating half of them on the way home and then eating the other half the next day.
You're going to Columbia and you're meeting up with me.
We're both going to White Castle.
Oh, here's what I heard, Rob.
I'm going to get 115, 150 there.
Rob, listen to this man.
You know, right next to White Castle in Columbia, they built the dispensary.
I'll pass my mom. No, I will have to pass my mom to get there.
Oh, OK. Well, leave a little earlier and say hi to your mom.
OK, but I might go see her the week before.
Just so I can back bypass the next.
You never know. OK, do it that way.
OK, so right next to White Castle, there's a dispensary and people say you've never seen so many stone people inside that White Castle just wandering around.
Oh, my God. They say it's a real really cool to watch.
Oh, yeah, yeah. Got some pretty, of course, pretty smashed people fucking wandering around in La La Land fucking ordering sliders.
I'm like, great. That's even better.
OK, Rob, you got a story.
Yeah, I'm going to go back to a chief super fan that ain't such a super fan.
OK.
You know what I'm talking about? Yeah, he went to he's going to prison.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, can see super fan Xavier Bavard. But Bavard, I can't.
B-A-B-U-D-A-R.
Which sends the federal court on Thursday in connection to a string of bank robbers across the United States.
He is also known as Chiefs of Holiness.
Yeah.
Which was a super fan of the Chiefs.
Received a 17 and a half year prison sentence for pleading guilty earlier in February to one count of bank robbery.
One count of monitor laundering and one count of transporting stolen property across stolen state lines.
The 30 year old admitted to stealing more than eight hundred thousand dollars during eleven robberies.
Or attempted robbery.
Wow.
That occurred across seven states and laundering the money through to see us.
What's his name attorney?
I'm going to say Badaar. Attorney Matthew Merriman said his client's gambling addiction drove him to commit the robbery.
However, the US Attorney's Office senior litigation canceled. Patrick Daly disagreed.
It's not addiction to gambling. It's not addiction to the cheese, Daly said. According to ESPN. It's addiction to the pain.
Yeah.
He first made headlines in December 2022 when he was arrested in connection with an armed robbery at the Tulsa Teachers Credit Union in Bixby, Oklahoma.
He then went on to run for 40 months after allegedly cutting off his ankle monitor and was eventually arrested again in California.
Prong Video announced in May that he will be the subject of an upcoming documentary.
Really?
Wow. Isn't that just such a bizarre story Rob? I mean everybody knew about this super fat guy.
You're at cheese and they show up big for him. He's the one that dies in the stands in the wolf costumes. He's all out. But then, come to find out he's a bank robber.
That story just caught me off guard when I first heard it. I'm like what?
Well, no, look it up.
No, it's true.
Look about this on thescore.com. But if you look at the costume, you know the guy from the cheese game.
Yeah.
If you know the crowd, you know the guy. He's called a cheese holler.
Yeah, he's pretty famous.
He's dressed in an outfit like a wolf.
Yep.
Yeah, he's not going to be watching a cheese game anytime soon.
I don't mean it. Trust me everybody. You know I love my cheese.
Hey, I think Kansas City needs.
You cannot protect everybody that follows it.
Here's what I'm.
Everybody is your own.
Rob, here's a committed murder and back the chiefs.
That's not against the chiefs.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, no, no, no. Here's what I think they need to do. The chiefs need to win another Super Bowl for yes, yes, yes, yes.
Oh yeah.
God. Yeah. Yep.
Planning a group trip to Italy in 2023, a vacation rental company called Group Accommodations has one of the most unconventional extreme extraordinary listings we've ever seen.
An entire medieval village in central Italy, about three hours northeast of Rome, is for rent for $1,577 per night.
So you could rent a whole village in Rome.
If you have enough people and it's yours for the night for a mere $1,577.
Pettiroli is a picture perfect community and Italy is the March area surrounded by rolling hills, historic village features, multi leverage level stone houses, towers, narrow cobblestone streets.
Theaters, Roman cellars and a stunning castle with 37 bathrooms, nine kitchens, a restaurant and 19 bathrooms.
Less gardens and two outdoor pools with sundecks offer panoramic views of the entire area inside the castle period. Furnishes, fireplaces, spectacular ceilings, antique arts and common areas with statues and knights of armor.
I mean this place sounds, it looks medieval if you look up the pictures and what they meant by period furnishing is, what it means is medieval furnishes during that period.
So you're going to look around, you're going to see medieval looking things in these castles.
Inside this castle or whatever you, I call it a castle but whatever.
Inside these living quarters it has all of that, all the bedrooms and the bathrooms and the kitchens and all that.
But you can rent the whole village for $1,577 American dollars a night.
So if you want to have a big party and you have the money, there you go, go to Italy. Rent this, rent this village.
Alright we'll be right back.
This sounds good.
Two dish bags and microphone in an effort to keep everything fresh. We offer you first world problems.
Oh shit, look at that drive through wine.
Surely they wouldn't expect me to actually have to go in.
This sucks.
Hey there fuckstick, you're just in time for brand new feature news nobody gives a shit about.
In Tulipo, Mississippi, a structural steel company built a small bridge to go over a pothole that had been on the road for three years.
Have you ever wondered where something came from? Have you ever looked at something and said, I wonder what the origin of that is?
Well so have we. That's why we give you The Origin of.
What is the origin of Mountain Dew?
Tennessee bottlers Barney and Ally Hartman developed Mountain Dew as a mixer in the 1940s.
Soft drinks were sold regionally in the 1930s and the Hartmans had difficulty in Knoxville obtaining their preferred soda to mix with liquor.
Preferably whiskey so the two developed for your own now known as Mountain Dew.
Now it's time for pick up lines from a loser.
Are you a banana? You look appealing.
You watched the news. It looks grim. Is an apocalypse inevitable?
We suggest you download all our podcasts beforehand and have multiple mobile chargers.
We have.
Remember post apocalypse to have a sewage bit sewage untreated can result in serious illness and other obstacles for your family to live well.
You also should have some chemicals stocked up, maybe bags of chlorine or something of such to sanitize the sewage per week.
Speaking of sewage, that's what the rest of this podcast is. Listen at your own risk, but I'm guaranteeing you one thing.
I'm looking for another co-host until then. I'm doing a solo cast.
Two douchebags and microphone on Mark.
And I'm Rob Rob. You got something?
Very out for a minute, please.
What?
Very out for a minute, please.
And majority of that a camp and garden to be in and they want to really weigh off against the camp and gardens from around the world.
After competing against 17 others participating in the camp and gardens, MoBOT won first after successfully placing over 140 pounds on the waterway.
And this is in St. Louis.
OK.
MoBOT used 20 pound sandbags and 10 pound weights to avoid weight on top of the waterway surface.
A total of 142.1 pounds.
Wow.
And the competitors were the Denver Botanical Gardens, the New York Botanical Gardens, and the Royal Botanical Gardens, Edinburgh and Scotland.
OK.
They took first place for being able to hold a much weight, which was a total of 142.1.
Just saying.
Every time I weigh myself, I'm about 142.
So one of these lullies could hold me.
Just saying.
Yeah.
That's cool.
Thanks.
OK.
Hey, that's that old water lullies.
Old, old, 50 pounds.
No, it is really.
You know what I mean?
No, I agree.
Yep.
I bet your biggest dog weighs two, three pounds maybe.
Yeah, you're not kidding.
Yep.
Let's see here.
Let me find a story to go to.
Something that I think might be pretty cool.
All right.
I've got some horror stories that millennials or not millennials, exers are talking about their parents, what their parents, the boomers used to have them or let them do when they were children.
And a lot of these I do remember.
Rob, please chime in and let me know if you remember doing some of these too.
Well, just saying some of them parents could have been exers like us.
Yes.
I have children that are millennials.
I know you do too.
Yeah.
Well, a lot of these pertain to the 70s, which would make them a boomer having an exer.
Yes, that's true.
Yeah, we were on the edge.
Yeah, exers are 64 through 76 maybe, 78, something like that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm 69.
I'm right in the middle.
Okay.
And you're what, two, three above me.
I think I'm two above you, ain't I?
Anyhow, yeah, somewhere in there.
I'm 55.
Okay, I'm 57.
Okay, there you go.
That's what I thought.
I remember from back then you were two years younger.
And my brother was two years ahead of me.
Yep.
Okay, here's one.
These are people that chimed in on forums like Reddit, then talked about their horror stories about growing up.
They're mostly exers that had boomer parents.
And I think that a lot of people that are...
I'm reading a lot of them lately.
I know, and they're so true.
Reddit stories, they're getting pretty popular.
They are.
Go ahead.
Okay, my parents had really terrible ideas about safety.
We'd take big family vacations in the station wagon, and I'd have to sit up in the flat part of the back, wedged by the suitcases.
I'd spend most of the trip throwing up because there's no cushioning or seating, so I'd feel every vibration and bump in the road.
No seatbelt, nothing.
Just me wedged next to a suitcase.
I think I've done that.
Have you?
Not really.
Okay, well...
I was always in a truck with an overhead camper.
Oh, you were?
Me and my brother had a ride in a camper.
Yeah, but that was kind of...
So any family vacation across states we took, me and the Duke himself...
The Duke, awesome.
...were in a camper.
Yay.
And we will tell you that.
He will tell you about our story.
This was like, 84, I think.
Okay.
We took a family vacation in a truck and overhead camper.
Uh-huh.
Like, came Kenny and went up into Iowa, across through South Dakota.
Yeah, I mean, we went and seen Mount Westmore.
We seen a lot of sites, you know.
Yeah.
And we went over to Wyoming, down to Colorado, back across Kansas.
Uh-huh.
It was like a week and a half.
But me and my brother had to stay in a camper while we were on the road.
Did you like it though?
Was it cool?
It was all right.
Okay.
Me and Dad would stop.
So you kind of felt like you were in jail?
No, no, no.
Okay, I know you know that route.
You go through...
We stopped in Deadwood, South Dakota.
Yes.
We stayed in the tourist dress.
No, it wasn't during the service ride.
I was 15.
Okay.
But I would have loved to see it then.
But it was not the tourist.
But me and my brother had a ride in the back of this overhead camper in a truck.
Uh-huh.
And when the Duke could come on the air, it will verify the story.
Okay.
Yeah, we'd love to have the Duke on.
You've heard of the famous Waldrug on that trip.
Waldrug is a famous tourist attraction.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
My dad drove right the fuck by there.
Me and my brother were looking out the side windows of the camper.
We watched it go by it.
And that's all me and him wanted to do.
You know, me and him saved up some money for mowing lawns, whatever.
Uh-huh.
We wanted to stop at Waldrug.
Tug, no.
Dad drove right the fuck by there.
And I started fucking...
And you're in the back of the camper going, stop, stop, stop.
I have not yet to meet Waldrug, which I will be one day before I die, I promise.
But the rest of the trip was, uh, dude, it's a part of the trip I have not told you about.
Okay.
Um, let's...
We'll go and get another night.
Okay.
I'll tell you what, I came back with that trip in the spring, Hank.
Okay.
I tried to drive to Colorado.
Okay.
Where, Rob, are you...
We're going to LA.
No, go ahead.
No, we're going...
No, no, no, no, go ahead.
Rob, go ahead.
I want to hear this.
Go ahead.
Why not?
Go ahead, Rob.
We're on no time schedule.
No.
We're on no time schedule.
No, go ahead, please.
We got down to Colorado, down around...
Oh, actually, we were at the campground in...
Oh, where the hell was...
It was in Colorado between...
Oh, what is that big place down there?
Down by Red Rock.
Between Colorado Springs and Denver.
There's some...
Yeah.
There's a big KOA down there.
Anyway, we were in a 1969 F-100 camper special with an over-a camper.
We made this trip up into South Dakota, over into Wyoming, down into Colorado, and we come
back from Kansas back into Missouri.
It was a week and a half.
We're in Colorado, down by Red Rock.
We're in this KOA.
Well, I was like 15.
Karate kid was a big thing back then.
I was also into a little bit of karate.
Well, we're at the campground, and my dumb ass decides to kick this fucking rock.
I was showing off to my brother.
I did a karate kick on this rock.
Killed my ankle, dude.
My trip was ruined.
And Tom will tell you about it.
But yeah, my trip was ruined just because of me karate kicking some rock being a kid.
It was cool.
I loved it.
I loved the memories.
It sounds stupid, but I love it.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, no, I'm not.
Yeah.
That was a cool trip.
That was my last damn week vacation that the whole thing, that all forums went on.
You know?
Mm-hmm.
And I come back with a spring ankle.
Go ahead.
No, go ahead, Rob.
Oh, I'm done.
That's all.
Okay.
I spun my ankle on the rock, karate kick on the rock.
I was a karate kid, you know?
Okay.
Got any more stories?
Go ahead.
That's all I have there.
Oh, okay.
Go on to another one.
Let me get back into my phone so I can...
No.
I wasn't expecting this, just saying.
I'll wait.
After that story out, I didn't know you were expecting me to follow up with the story.
I'll wait.
No, go ahead, man.
I'll wait.
I'm just following my damn memory, not my phone.
Okay.
Here we go.
How about Julie Chrisley?
Okay.
You know, I've been following Todd Chrisley and Julie Chrisley.
Yep.
Going to prison and all that.
Mm-hmm.
Well, there's no need to panic, although Julie Chrisley is no longer in Federal Bureau of Prisons custody.
This evicted felon isn't on the run.
She's still in custody somewhere.
We just don't know where.
Well, what it is is Todd and Julie Chrisley got in trouble for Monday laundering, blah, blah, blah.
And, you know, people know their show.
Chrisley knows best.
That's where this is from.
Well, Todd is still going to be in jail, but Julie and her lawyers have been fighting to get her out of it.
And it was just recently released that they don't know where Julie Chrisley is.
The whereabouts of Chrisley knows best matriarch became a topic of discussion in a Reddit thread recently when someone spotted that she was no longer listed in custody with that.
At first glance, it almost sounded like she escaped through a hole in her cell or something.
However, Fox 5 Atlanta did some sleuthing to get to the bottom of it.
You might recall Julie was set for a resensing trial on September 25th after she scored a major legal win.
More than likely, she's about to get a bunch of years to say it off her sentencing.
Well, I'm going to break it down.
What it is, is she's being held in a different facility.
She's not in federal.
That's why federal don't know where she's at.
But they have her, and she's going to go to trial.
Dad and Todd still facing like 12 years.
But Julie could get out soon, and I've been reading a lot of the reports on it.
A lot of it was not her.
A lot of it was her husband and their people.
They're trying to get her out of it, and they're saying she's not in federal custody, which is incorrect.
She is still in federal custody.
She's being held to go to court until it's done.
There you go.
There's where Julie Chrisley is.
Meanwhile, Todd's bitch ass.
I'm not going to say what I'm going to say.
He's too feminine to be in prison to say that.
Okay.
Yep, move on.
All right. You got anything else?
Yeah, that was it on that.
Okay. You got any more stories you want to get to?
Roofed enough. Nothing of importance.
Okay. All right.
Well, unless you want to know, Michael Keaton is this in his name.
Go ahead.
Okay. The actor, Michael Keaton, known best for Beetlejuice, his actual name is Michael Douglas.
Do you recognize that name?
Yeah. Yeah, Michael Douglas.
Well, for those that don't know, back in the 70s, there was an actor named Michael Douglas,
and there was like a TV show host named Mike Douglas, which I believe was Michael Douglas' dad, if I remember right.
Do you remember them?
Michael Douglas and Michael Douglas.
Yeah, Michael Douglas is still alive. Kirk Douglas.
I have to Google some of the movies he was in, so you'll know.
He was big in the 70s and 80s.
I know who he is.
Okay.
My favorite one was Falling Down.
Romancing the Stone.
Romancing the Stone, yeah.
Yeah.
But anyway, come to find out Michael Keaton's name is Michael Douglas.
Okay.
He was not allowed to use it because of the Screen Actors Guild rules, but you cannot have the same name.
Okay.
So Michael Keaton changed his name to Michael Keaton, instead of Michael Douglas.
Do you remember?
Mm-hmm.
Well, now that Michael Douglas is gone, Mike Douglas, which I believe was his dad, if I remember right, is gone.
Now Michael Keaton can take on his own real name as Michael Keaton Douglas.
Michael Douglas is still alive.
That's his birth date.
Michael Douglas is still alive. His dad, Kirk Douglas, is the one that died.
Okay, well, somehow Michael Keaton is going to get away with you.
Well, I take what it is.
He's calling himself Michael Keaton Douglas.
Okay.
But it's going to be something from here on after, after the new field juice movie.
Okay.
Okay, so it's going to be after the field juice movie, because all that's already done.
And this is just now coming out.
But yeah, he actually gets to use his real name.
Although I don't know many people who know him, unless you call him Michael Keaton.
You call him Michael Douglas, you've got to be old to remember him, and then guess what?
That's not him.
I don't know, if it was me, I'd actually stick with Michael Keaton. He's well known for it.
Yeah.
Just saying.
Okay.
Alright.
Hi Grandma Opal, hi Jimmy, hi Ricky. Dodge State, Kansas.
Hi Grandma.
Go ahead.
No, I already said it.
Hi Grandma, hi Jimmy, hi Ricky. Yeah, we were off one time.
Yep.
Sorry.
Okay, that's alright.
Alright, well I got nothing more to say. You got anything else?
Asked about how I got tonight, brother.
Alright. Thanks everybody for joining in.
Have a long day.
Have a good night.
I'm trying to get my truck ready to get legal. Yeah, I'm going to warn out, so.
Good night, assholes.