From the deep inside the bowels of the city market in Kansas City, Missouri downtown property
to the banks of the beautiful crystal blue waters of the Missouri River
it is the original two, Topher and Mark, given the 2024 football predictions for the season.
You thought they were done, didn't you?
Hello, this is the two originals Topher and Mark.
Hi everyone.
We are doing the original NFL show.
We did our predictions last time, so we're down here at the city market
and we encourage people to join in even though you'll hear this in two days.
We should have brought a sign that says sit down and talk.
Yeah, for real. I mean if you're a time traveler, come on by.
Yes.
Yes, we encourage that.
Actually, it would probably work if we put a sign that says don't sit down and talk.
Then they will.
Yeah, leave us alone, we're podcasting.
They'll be like, hey, hey, look.
So, anyhow, do you want to just start rating the games and kind of coming up with who we think is going to win?
Yeah.
Any side notes, like if you think someone is going to perform excessively well or anything,
just stuff like that, just kind of detail it a little bit better than we did last time.
Yeah, last time we were strictly going by indices and records and kind of year they would have,
but this is an opportunity to kind of dig into the game by game.
Yeah, and I have a list of the games right here, starting with Thursday night.
The most important game.
The most important game, yes.
And also a little bit later on in the program here, we're going to have Skip Bayless's stupidest statements.
I can't wait for that.
Here's what the problem is, Topher.
I spent an hour on this and the list was so long I couldn't go through it.
So I had to just pick some of the high spots.
And the same way with the next feature, which would be Chris Collinsworth homoerotic statements.
There are almost as many as Skip Bayless's.
I mean, they've got to be doing it on purpose.
I would think so.
They've got to figure this is getting me traction in my career, so I'm going to keep doing it.
I don't care what you think of me.
I heard through the grapevine that allegedly that Skip Bayless's actual name on his bursary
is Skipper Ballas.
So he had to change it just a little bit.
Oh my gosh.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
All right.
So we're going to start off.
This is going to be broadcast on NBC, Telemundo and Universal.
It's the Ravens against the Chiefs.
In Arrowhead.
In Arrowhead, yes.
And I mean, this is going to be a litmus test, but also it's going to be a revenge game.
Oh yeah.
I know it's at Arrowhead and I think the Chiefs, you go ahead and then I'll go ahead with that.
Oh, OK.
I like the fact the second year in a row the Chiefs are kicking off the season.
I know they tend to try to get the Super Bowl teams to kick off the season.
And Chiefs is one of the last two years, so it kind of follows.
Lamar Jackson was quoted recently as saying, they asked him about this being a revenge game.
And he said, frankly, any game I'm in feels like a revenge game.
That tells me that that's a very determined man.
He knows what he wants and he's really focused because he could have said all sorts of stuff.
But from what he said and that just kind of boiled down to that simple language,
I think Lamar Jackson is more dangerous this year than he has been recently.
I would agree. He's a hungry, hungry man right now.
And also another thing is, he's smart.
He is.
Why inflame the monster? Why poke the bear?
He knows. He's not motherfucking Mahomes like other people.
He's not dissing him.
It doesn't do any good.
He sees other people make those mistakes.
It's great when you learn from your own mistakes.
It's even better when you learn from other people's mistakes.
Lamar Jackson can do both.
Yes, he can.
Take Jamar Chase.
He did not say Mahomes, but he did say Mahomes.
I think he kind of figured, you know what?
It hasn't been working.
So I'm just going to tell the truth.
He was asked who was the best quarterback in the league.
He said, I can't say his name.
So that would be one Patrick Mahomes.
I think that he finally comes to terms that all I'm doing is looking like an idiot.
I mean like a little skippy ballist.
There's a level of being a homer that's expected.
You pick your own team to win.
You always think you're going to win.
But to carry it so far as to say we have the best players, the best team, the best everything,
when you clearly don't, it just gets embarrassing after a while.
Well, yeah, it sounds like sour grapes.
It sounds like spoiled milk.
I mean, it's just like people are like, oh, okay, well, you sound scorned.
Even during all the years when Brady was winning and Elway was winning and Peyton Manning was winning,
I didn't like watching them win so much because they always beat the Chiefs.
But I never thought of them as anything less than an amazingly brilliant quarterback.
Oh, I was the same way.
I'd marvel but be mad.
Yeah.
And so for people to come in and just try to pretend Mahomes isn't what he really is,
doesn't it seem childish to you?
It is childish.
Yeah.
It's like you're scrunching your eyes so tight that you can will away the rock that's about to hit you.
No.
It didn't work that way.
It's not going to work.
Yeah.
So I mean, Lewis, like you said, is a hungry man.
The only problem with Lewis is this right here.
Lewis?
Or not Lewis.
Lamar.
No, Lewis.
Okay.
All right.
Sorry.
You know what?
It's still early.
I'm still drinking my hot chocolate.
And there have been a lot of football players named Lewis.
Yeah, there have.
So yeah.
Lewis is his cousin.
Yeah.
Very nice guy.
So, okay.
Jackson's a hungry man.
Okay.
And he wants that title really bad, which is good.
I mean, that's what you want from your quarterback.
You want your quarterback.
You not go make mistakes.
Yeah.
But say something positive.
Say something that's not going to inflame the competition.
Yeah.
You want to fire up your own team without firing up the other team at the same time.
Yes.
Well, I mean, I can't wait to see what the Kermit the Frog does.
You know what I mean?
I know.
That's going to be fun.
Like, Mahomes didn't have enough revenge on his mind from last year anyhow.
If the Chiefs are as smart as I think they are, somebody in their public relations or
fan relations department is going to make up a few thousand Kermit the Frog dolls.
Yes.
Dressed in, what would they put Mahomes' jersey on, Kermit the Frog?
Is that what they did?
Yeah.
And they did some crazy, yeah, boys.
I think they're going to make up a bunch of those and hand them out at the stadium.
Oh, that would be excellent.
So the Raiders fans can be seen on TV holding all these little dolls up and fire up the team.
I think the Chiefs are going to do it themselves.
That would be the smartest thing to do.
That would be excellent.
That would fire up the team.
That would fire up the home crowd here in KC.
I've got a great example.
Chicago skipped over him, picked Mitch Trevisky.
Trevisky?
Yeah.
He's kind of not in the league in anywhere.
No, he is.
I think he's a backup for somebody.
I can't remember.
Bills, I think.
Yeah, he's a Bills backup, yeah.
And then, let's see, what were some of the other ones that he went after?
Kind of, but kind of not, but kind of proved his point.
He should have picked me.
The other one was, oh, he went to Texas, and now he is with the Browns, the quarterback.
Watson?
Watson.
Yeah.
So anyhow, Watson, I think, went above him, too.
I think so, yeah.
So he was the third quarterback picked in the draft.
And I was reading part of that, and they said his footwork was awful.
What they didn't see was it didn't matter.
Yeah.
He could throw from any position.
So I think a lot of it was Brett Veach.
And then finally, from what I read the other day, Andy Reed says, enough.
This guy's fantastic.
I see it.
I see it, you know, because he kept sending videos, highlights of him.
And so I guess, like, Reed and the rest and company are smart enough, naggy at the time.
And I think the enemy, I'm not sure if he was with them or not when they drafted him.
I think so.
Okay.
So they were smart enough to leave him alone and let Alex Smith, because Alex Smith, a
very smart quarterback, really smart quarterback, figure out how to tutor and train this guy.
And obviously, he did a fantastic job.
Yeah.
I mean, when the guy's dad's thanking you and the man himself is thanking you and everybody
on the whole team is thanking you, then that's something.
Yeah.
So.
Oh, but anyhow, Ravens versus Chiefs.
I think the Ravens are going to give the Chiefs everything they can handle offensively.
I think the Chiefs D is going to struggle to get a handle on the Ravens.
I can see the Chiefs going down early and clawing their way back.
I think the Chiefs will win.
They're going to be unveiling the banner of the new Super Bowl banner.
It's home game to start the season.
The whole football nation is watching.
Yeah.
I think that'll be enough to give the Chiefs what they need to beat the Ravens.
But I think it's going to be tough.
At the end of the game, we're going to be exhausted from watching.
Yeah.
And it's going to be like the Super Bowl where I'm standing up.
Yeah.
Were you standing up too during the Super Bowl because a couple of guys at work said
they were too.
Yeah.
I was restless.
Yeah.
I couldn't sit down.
At first Super Bowl, 54, at halftime, I had to go lie down because I was just so nervous
and worked up.
Yeah.
So was I.
Yeah.
Then I had to end up staying in the kitchen.
Every time I went to Rotel, we either got an interception or we scored.
I go back in there with my dip and my chip services.
Go back.
Yes.
Luckily, the guy was very affluent at the house we were at.
So we had a big TV in the kitchen.
Oh, well that's good.
So I was like, you know what?
This is just as good.
Yes.
Plus I'm closer to the food.
Oh, that's always a plus.
Double.
Yeah.
All right, so do you have a number on it or not?
34, 31.
I love that score.
No overtime, but 34, 31.
Okay.
I too think it's going to be a struggle, but I think it's going to be a struggle until
the third quarter.
And I think the Chiefs are going to pull away from it.
Oh, I'd love to see that.
Yeah.
I think it's going to be a very tough game, but I can foresee the Chiefs figuring it out
and just pounding their chest.
Yeah.
I think that last year their embarrassment against the Lions is still in their minds.
I hope so.
I hope they're still thinking about that.
Yeah.
I think that there's a lot of different factors that's going to propel them to do this and
do it right.
Yeah.
The game I'm worried about is against Cincinnati.
Yeah, the very next one.
Yeah.
It's there, and they definitely have a bone to pick with us.
They've started to define their season by how they do against the Chiefs, which is flattering
for the Kansas City Chiefs.
But not so flattering for them.
Yeah, and it means you're going to get their best.
You're going to get their all or nothing effort.
Yeah.
Yeah, I agree.
Hey, Jamar, the water's warm.
Come on over.
Definitely.
Come on over.
No big deal.
We've got enough room here.
We've got enough room in the pool.
Jump on in.
Yep.
Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep.
You've won a championship over here instead of just be there and do it.
I was going to say a side note, but Brandon I.U. finally signed with San Francisco.
He kind of had to at this point, didn't he?
I mean, geez.
Yeah, they were talking about, what, Pittsburgh, and then they were talking about Washington.
Was it a contract to subdue him and get him on the team, or was it a long-term one that
he wanted?
I didn't see the details now that you mentioned it, but...
I'll have to look it up later, but I have a feeling it might be like the Chris Jones'
contract.
Yeah.
They had to shovel some money around, and Kelsey gave up a little for later on.
Yeah.
So they could sign Chris Jones that one year, and then work on the contract all year long.
Yeah.
And it proved to work out fine.
So I have some questions about our secondary, but like I said on the last one that you and
I, why should I not trust Spagnolo?
Yeah.
He's been figuring it out.
He really has.
Yeah.
I mean, we had nobody beginning last year according to everybody.
Yeah.
I'm hoping to see a big year out of Watson in the secondary.
I think so.
There's a Watson who's a wide receiver, and there's a Watson who's in the secondary.
The Watson that's a wide receiver, is he on the practice squad, or did he make the team?
I can't remember.
I think he made the team.
They were planning on him making the team, but that was before they signed Smiths-Easter.
Juju.
Yeah.
I think Juju's a great signing too, because I think Juju knows the offense.
He's had a series of unfortunate events up there in New England.
He was injured, couldn't have very good quarterbacks or a system to work with.
The team was in disarray.
Yeah.
Very much.
Yeah.
I think she was just going to come here, and he's going to be like a kid with a big fucking
thing of candy.
Yeah.
I'm going to reach in there and get every sweet tart I can.
He'll be a good transition point from the current team, guys who've been there a few
years, and the new players.
Yes.
The rookies and the free agent ones who don't know Kansas City, don't know Arrowhead, et
cetera.
Juju can say, hey, I've played somewhere else, and I came here.
I've left again.
Now I'm back again.
He can kind of be their guide on how to transition into a Chiefs' culture.
Kind of like Hardman did.
Is Hardman with the team or not?
I think he made it second string, didn't he?
Yeah.
Okay.
Hardman did that.
He signed with the Jets, and then they traded him back to us for a player later to be named.
Then he came back, and he was actually one of the heroes of the Super Bowl.
Yeah.
So Juju could... I know he didn't get traded back just in time for the Super Bowl or not.
He got traded back later on in the season when the Jets realized they weren't going anywhere.
Did they release... I can't remember if they released him or traded him.
My first instinct to say this is they released him.
Okay.
So he kind of did the same thing, and Schuster's kind of like, you know what?
Okay.
I've got another start here.
I'm going to make the most of it, kind of like Hardman did.
Yeah.
So, all right.
The next game is... This is Friday, September 6th.
So there's a Thursday game, and there's a Friday game this year.
That's unusual.
It is.
And this is a good one, because this is a litmus test for the Packers, and definitely
the Eagles, the way they flamed out last year.
So we have the Packers in Philadelphia playing the Eagles on Friday, September 6th.
Your thoughts?
You know, if it was in Green Bay, that would make this easier.
I'm... I don't know.
It's hard to trust either team, but I think the Eagles at home with their new running
pack are going to be riding the high enough that they can handle the Packers.
Okay.
And the Packers seem to go year after year with the attitude of, hey, we're the Packers.
We're good.
You know?
We're tough.
I agree.
We're good enough just because we're the Packers.
But they kind of barely make up for that on the... They barely back it up on the field.
Yes.
That's what I'm trying to say.
So I think the Eagles being at home are going to probably win that one.
I would agree.
Yeah.
Do you have a number in mind?
I think it'll be a two-score game, probably a margin of like nine to 10, something like
that, but not a real high-scoring game.
So call it like 28-17 or something like that.
I am going that way too, and here's why, not that Philadelphia is that great, but I think
that Jordan Love's going to come back there early.
He has a full season where people have been studying him, looking at him, watching him.
And I know he was behind Rodgers and all that and had time to watch him, but I mean, Rodgers
didn't like him because that's kind of what it looks like.
And Rodgers is definitely pissed about them drafting him.
So I'm not sure how much Jordan got to actually learn in that time.
So I'm thinking, he looked good at times.
He looked really good in the playoffs, which is fantastic, but I just think that he is
going to actually kind of come back to earth.
He's not going to fail, but he's going to be more pedestrian this year.
You made a good point about the team studying him because last season, teams had basically
one week to get ready for him.
That's all the time they spent on it because they had other teams the other weeks.
But they've had a whole off season.
Everybody has looked at the schedule, especially the division rivals, and said, okay, now we
can learn.
We've watched the whole season of him.
Let's look at what he does.
Let's look at his tendencies.
See, that's where that Amazon AWS next-gen stats comes in.
They're analyzing the opponents with that shit.
Oh, I know.
Yeah.
And it's actually a great tool.
Yeah.
It's like, hey, 46% of the time on third in this distance, you know, they go to this type
of pass.
So let's hammer that kind of pass.
It makes it easy.
Yeah.
I think there's flaws in Jordan Love's game.
I think there's plenty of them to expose.
But then again, like I said last time, Brent Hurts is someone just waiting, screaming to
break a leg.
Yeah.
He doesn't give me the impression of he's going to be there that long.
I mean, he has all the talent, but he looks fragile for some reason, doesn't he?
Yeah, he does.
And also the way he just goes at it with no regard, I'm just running forward and I don't
give a shit.
Yeah.
He's a quarterback still.
Even though he's a running quarterback, he's still a quarterback.
Yeah.
So I just don't see him last in all season.
But above all, I think that that kind of offense, they're kind of guarding against now and they
kind of, I don't know, not figured it out, but coiled it.
Yeah.
Because if you notice the last part of last season, they weren't that high score in juggernaut.
No.
Yeah.
They're fighting for every score they got.
Yeah.
And their defense in what games they did win in the last five, did they even win one in
the last five?
I think they won one in the last five.
Yeah.
They had quite a slide there.
Yeah.
And they were not going, you know, I mean, the Super Bowl before was 38-35.
There was none of that going on.
You know, there's none of that going on.
And there wasn't that push up the middle to where Andy Reid said, don't score.
Yeah.
You know, let's take off and just give him two seconds left to come up with three points.
Number one, he knew Hurts didn't have that time, he doesn't have that type of range.
Yeah.
It's a hell Mary at best.
And it didn't work.
I mean, no one caught it, it was an incompletion.
So I think that there's a lot of that that's going to happen this year.
I think they're going to be a good team and win the division, but I don't.
I picked them winning the division too.
Yeah.
I think they're good enough to win the division, but I think there's enough exposure in their
game to where good teams will catch it.
Yeah.
So.
All right.
Let's see Steelers versus the Falcons.
Oh, gosh.
Let's see.
Kirk Cousins with the Falcons.
Yeah.
Does he have any receivers over there?
I can't think of one right off hand.
I don't really know household names, I guess.
No, no Jefferson, nothing, huh?
No.
Gosh.
Okay.
Yeah.
What are your thoughts?
I don't even care where it's being played.
I think it's going to be a pretty boring game to watch, a couple of mediocre teams.
You can't really do much.
I'm going to lean towards the Steelers.
I think they're going to be able to figure something out and get something going.
I think both teams really had a scramble of quarterback in the offseason, but the Steelers,
I think, it hurts me to say it, but I think the Steelers have better quarterback than
the Falcons, even though neither one have very good.
Well, I agree with you, but maybe not for the same reason, and here's why.
He doesn't have the weapons around him.
Yeah, yeah.
I think the Steelers are going to make more decisive, bold moves on the field.
Yeah.
I think Kirk Cousins is just going to kind of mediocre their way to a disappointing loss.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's how I see it.
Do you have a number in mind or not?
Low scoring, probably like 23-13.
Okay.
Real quick, the Friday game, I have 27 to 10, the Eagles.
Okay, so I didn't give the score on the Eagles, so that's my prediction of the score.
So the next Sunday game that we're talking about was the Steelers and the Falcons, and
I feel the same way you do.
Yeah.
Both teams are in transition.
The Steelers are trying to find that guy.
Yeah.
They have Justin Fields and Russell Wilson.
I think Fields is going to win that just because he's younger, and neither one of them are
no good.
Yeah.
Russell Wilson's been a proven distraction, even though Mike Tomlin runs the show.
I still think there's going to be some of this, just throw the young guy in there.
Maybe we can groom him.
Maybe he has the tools.
He can run.
He can throw.
He seems pretty intelligent.
So, you know, I think that they're just going to throw the young guy in there, and I think
he'll probably have a decent year, much better than in Chicago.
Yeah.
But he might crack like the 10th best or 11th best with some luck.
Yeah.
So I give it to the Steelers about the same score.
Yeah.
I'm going to go 23-14, and that's because I think Kurt Cousin will will a couple of touchdowns
out, not that he's like that great.
Yeah.
I just think it's the first game of the season.
He's in a new team, and I think he's going to do his damndest to try to show something.
And this first game of the season is the one that every team has had the longest to prepare
for.
Yes.
This is the longest they'll have all season to prepare for a team, the whole offseason.
Yeah.
These are the games that nothing works out at first.
Yeah.
Until they get a little creative and crafty, and then things start flowing.
Yeah.
So it's just like the Thursday night game.
I think that that's going to be low score until about the third quarter.
And then I think both teams are going to ramp it up and figure some stuff out.
Yeah.
Anyhow, the next Sunday game, the Cardinals versus the Bills up there in Buffalo.
I'm going to go Buffalo there.
Yeah.
The Cardinals, yeah, they have good pieces.
They've got decent players on both sides of the line.
But they just can't consistently put things together.
I don't have confidence in the Cardinals mounting a game-winning drive late in the game.
It's just I don't see them as a complete team yet.
Buffalo, I think, has a decided advantage there, and I can see Buffalo putting some
points up on them, like 30 to 17.
Okay.
I think the Cardinals can get, like you said, two touchdowns and a field goal.
Maybe one of those touchdowns on special teams for defense.
You're not going to believe this, but I'm actually picking an upset.
I think the Bills are deflated.
They're a team in transition.
Stephon Diggs left.
He was having tussles with Josh Allen, the quarterback.
A lot of key elements left.
There is disarray in that locker room, and I think it's still that.
They have a bunch of unproven people.
Let's face it, the game up in Buffalo, the divisional title game, they flatlined.
They completely flatlined that game.
Now, some of it was the Chiefs defense, which was excellent, but they had no spark.
I remember watching and thinking, man, this isn't the Bills team that I expected to see.
No, it hasn't been.
They have not been the same since they were at Arrowhead, the famous 13 seconds game.
I don't think that's what broke them.
I think what broke them was themselves.
I think the people's personalities didn't match, and I think that, what's his name, McDermott, right?
McDermott, I think he's a good coach, but not a good enough coach to squelch that.
I still think that there's a lot of flux, and people just not knowing really what's going on or who's on the same page.
So I'm going to say very low scoring. I'm going to go, this is going to be a snoozer of a game.
It's going to be 17 to 10.
Wow, that will be a snoozer.
That's my upset of the week, my prediction.
I wouldn't suggest anyone betting on it.
Don't bet the way I say it. This is just my own gut feeling.
I remember there was a game last season between, I think it was the Raiders and the Vikings.
Final score was 3-0.
I remember that nothing game.
That field goal didn't happen until the fourth quarter.
Denver had a game like that the year before with Russell Wilson.
It was going into overtime like nothing, nothing, but someone scored like 3-0.
How embarrassing.
I watched that whole game just out of shock.
I was like, jeez, what happened?
It's almost like you have to try harder to not score in an entire game.
It's just like going 0-16 is harder than going 16-0.
Pretty much, yeah.
Someone locks themselves, backs themselves into a win somewhere.
Some team gives you a win somehow.
So, you know, anyhow.
So, all right, we're differing on that.
All right, the next one is another Sunday game and that is the Titans against the Bears.
Oh, cool.
I think the Bears are going to do it.
I didn't have any high hopes for the Titans this season.
They kind of don't have much of an identity in my mind anyway.
Bears, I think, are excited and they're pretty stoked.
They're more stoked about Caleb Williams than they were about Justin Fields when they drafted him.
And way more than when they drafted Trubisky.
You know they're still kicking themselves in the ass every day they wake up.
They're going, we should have done it.
Think about that.
The Bears, they passed on Mahomes.
They drafted Trubisky, who's gone.
They drafted Fields, who's gone.
And still the organization and the fan base is excited about yet another drafted quarterback.
That's pretty amazing.
It is.
I think Caleb Williams can be very good.
I think he's a little bit different in this case.
But we are looking at the graveyard of quarterbacks.
Yeah, hopefully he can break that curse.
Who was it?
Was it Mahomes who broke the Madden curse?
Yes, yeah, he was on the cover of Madden and still won.
So I can see Caleb Williams breaking the Chicago Bears curse on quarterbacks.
I'm going to say the quarterbacks are going to go and embarrass the Titans.
28-3.
Oh!
Geez.
I'm going to say 28-3.
Okay.
I'm getting more hopes on the Bears defense than I am.
I think the Titans are going to be good enough to score more than three,
but I think the Bears defense is going to rise to the challenge.
Okay, you've got to score, what did you say?
28-3.
28-3, okay.
I'm going to say that this game is very close and it's a toss-up.
And here's why.
Titans defense is really good this year.
That's true, that's true.
Really good.
He's a brand new quarterback.
I think they're going to do some things that are going to surprise him.
Yeah.
And I think there's going to be a lot of trickery.
That would be the smart play.
Yeah, you have Caleb Williams.
Okay, so you could probably do some things you couldn't do on a seasoned guy.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, how does he act towards a real pass rush?
How about the sneak?
You know, how about the disguised blitz?
Yeah, for all intents and purposes, Caleb Williams has never really played in anything
but high school and college football.
His preseason really doesn't count.
Yeah, I still think he's going to be good.
But I think this game, he could be overmatched because, you know,
Jerry Snead is shutting down one side.
We know this.
He's really good at making sure you don't score touchdowns on his side of the field.
Yes.
And I don't know if Caleb Williams has that savvy yet to go,
okay, I don't have it there so I'm going to try it here.
Good point, good point.
He's probably going to throw into a few interceptions early.
I think so too.
Yeah.
So I give the Titans a slight edge.
And I think this game here is going to be like 23-21.
Wow.
Just like that.
That'd be cool.
That'd be more exciting to watch than my version.
Yeah, well, I mean, look, let's face it, either one could happen.
Either one could happen.
Like if Caleb Williams comes out, first thing he does is fumble
or throw an interception in the first...
And then he's second-guessing himself all game long.
Yeah, he's losing that game.
He may not lose the war, but he's going to lose that battle.
Yeah.
So, I mean, am I right?
Who knows?
We'll find out Sunday.
Yeah.
All right, the next one is another Sunday game.
And all these are 12 p.m., by the way.
This is central time.
Okay.
Early games.
Yes, because this should be out before all the games come out.
I'm going to try to get it out really quick.
I'm going to expedite it so we have our picks in there.
So not like anyone will follow our advice.
Yeah.
I mean, if they're smart, they don't.
No, no.
If you are going to bet on this, go to Kansas.
Yes, yeah.
Yeah, go on the south side of State Line.
You can bet there.
Yeah.
It's proven.
I did it.
You go on the north side.
While someone else is driving, so don't get silly there, okay?
Whoever's out there going, oh, you did that?
No.
Val was driving, and we went up to Andy's Ice Cream, you know?
Got us an ice cream.
That's north.
Went back south to where we live.
That's south.
On the way there, it wouldn't do it.
It wouldn't do it on the way back.
They have it that precise.
GPS has really come a long way.
It's kind of scary.
It's like, shit, they know right here.
They probably know within a millimeter where I'm at.
That's something else.
All right, the next one is the Patri-Rots against the Bungles.
Okay.
I can't think of the history between those two teams.
I don't remember seeing a lot of games between them.
No, the Patriots were already dead and gone.
I mean, the Bungles kind of rised up about the time Tom Brady went to Tampa.
Yeah, you're right.
That's when they started getting good.
So they never really had to fight each other for the conference.
No.
Yeah.
It's always pretty much been, I mean, the Browns have given them more competition.
Yeah.
Who else is in that league, in that conference?
Steelers.
The Steelers.
Ravens.
Yeah, the Ravens, of course, have been giving them a lot of competition.
Yeah.
So.
I think the Bungles are a more complete team.
They're more a polished team.
They've got their plan in place and they've got it going.
Whereas the Patriots are still trying to put their car together before they can get it out on the road.
Yeah.
Is Matt Jones still the starter or do you know?
Brissette.
Oh, Brissette.
Jacoby Brissette?
Yeah.
Well, he came from there.
He is Tom Brady's backup.
Isn't Brissette there?
Brissette was at the Colts for a while.
Yeah, yeah.
He was at some other team, too.
He kind of bounced around a little bit.
Coincidentally, their backup Zappie is with us.
He's on the practice squad.
Yeah.
Funny.
Yeah.
OK.
But yeah, I remember seeing a crawl at the bottom of the screen saying Brissette was named head starter.
OK.
So he beat out Matt Jones.
Yeah.
OK.
Well, since you said Brissette, I mean it's going to be a little bit more of a game, I think.
But anyhow, go ahead with yours.
The Patriots give me the impression of a team that's going to be finding ways to lose for at least part of the season.
And I think this first game they're going to lose.
And they're going to look pretty bad doing it.
Yeah.
I think the score won't really reflect it.
I've been looking at something like 24-17.
But I think the Bengals are going to be ahead for the majority of the game.
Yeah.
Then the Pats will get a garbage-type touchdown, something like that.
Yeah, in the last two minutes when they're...
Now, the Bengals have the ability to put up two more scores if they felt like it.
So their score could get higher.
But I think...
Yeah, this is going to be a rough one to predict the score in because it just depends on so many...
I mean, they're going to protect Burrow with everything in their might.
So if they're ahead that much, he's coming out.
That's why I'm thinking of the lower scorers.
Once they get ahead and they're pretty sure that they're going to stay ahead, they're going to get conservative.
They're going to go max protect.
Yeah.
As you said, pull them out in the last 10 minutes in the game.
And how good is his arm?
Now, I mean, that was a pretty bad injury.
I saw him trying to throw on the sideline.
I'm like, uh-oh.
I mean, the ball, he couldn't even grip the ball.
It just kept going, boom, off of his hand.
I know he's young, but how does that affect you?
Psychologically, probably more than anything else.
I would agree.
As long as he's got the feeling back, he can probably adapt pretty quickly.
And I'm sure they all use human growth hormone to ramp up their healing rate.
Oh, I bet.
I bet anything they do.
Yeah.
Another thing is I think that Joe Burrow should be used more conservatively anyhow,
because I think that they leave him out there too long.
They need to design an offense.
This is what I think, but he's the head coach, you know.
But I think that they need to dink and dunk more and get him away from danger.
I wonder how much of their game plan is tailored towards,
let's get everyone excited about this passing offense so we can get on TV more,
sell more season tickets, blah, blah.
All of the above.
Yeah.
I mean, it's not – I don't think it's unreasonable at all that a team would say,
as long as we got this quarterback, let's just, you know, use the wow factor,
increase our bottom line, just throw, you know, score 40, 50 points a game,
throw all over the place.
But this season they're probably much better off using the running game a lot more
and throwing shorter passes and not being as spectacular and exciting,
but just winning more games and having your players healthier at the end of the season.
And also, Mixon is gone.
Yeah.
Do they have anyone who's going to be really stepping in
and being their go-to running back?
They might have drafted one, I'm not sure.
I don't have to look that up.
We'll have to see if it's going to be running back by committee,
which, you know, kind of works anymore.
That's what everybody pretty much does.
Yeah.
I mean, I'm pretty sure Carson Steele is going to have a good little –
you know, it's going to be the check-ups, it's going to be number one,
but I think Steele is going to be a pretty solid number two with maybe,
I don't know, eight, 10 carries.
That's what I was thinking.
He'll probably get somewhere around 10 or less, 10 or fewer per game,
but he'll end the season with more yards than you think.
Yes, I think so, too.
He'll end the season and go, wow, he ran that many yards?
I think he's over under about 500 yards.
Yeah, and I think he's going to score a lot of touchdowns,
a lot of short-yardage touchdowns.
Yes, and then when the postseason comes,
he's not going to score as many touchdowns because they're going to trick people.
He's going to be the decoy.
You have to identify him, you have to say, that guy right there, stop him.
You have to put all your might in the middle,
and if you don't do that, he's getting in anyhow.
But if you do do that, someone's free in the backfield.
It is the perfect, perfect component to them.
There's a play, a not uncommon play, where you fake it to the halfback
and then flip it out to the fullback.
That's a great, yeah, you could see something like that going on.
I could see that going very well.
You really make another team's defense really look stupid, foolish,
just like they're unprepared, sloppy, and really it wasn't their fault at all.
It's just like how you guard against that.
And then you can do the opposite of the play if they're keying on steel.
You fake it to him and flip it out to the flat where Hardman
or Juju Smith-Houster is standing and grab the ball and run in.
Well, like I said on the last one, that's how the Chiefs won the Super Bowl.
They were going to not let Pacheco in so much, and they let Hardman in the corner.
Yeah, he was going to stand in there waiting for the ball.
It was a great sell by the Chiefs, too.
It was a great sell because, I mean, I was flinching to the left.
I was like, okay, Pacheco's going to get it.
I'm like, hey, wait a minute.
Whoever's calling these plays is doing a really good job of figuring out
the right time to call the play that they've been setting up all game long.
It's worked out really well recently.
And I could tell, as soon as that happened, they flinched.
And then the Homes was getting ready to throw it without turning.
I was like, we won this game.
Nobody's near him. We won this game.
Yeah, just you could see it.
It's like this. We've seen it before.
We've seen that exact kind of set up.
It's like, oh, yeah, he's got it.
Yeah, they faked so hard that everybody is like going to the middle.
And no.
Okay, anyhow, let's get back to Patriots, Bengals.
That was the one where I was saying that the Bengals are going to be like 24-17
because they're going to only score in as much as they have to.
And the Patriots would get a garbage time touchdown late.
I'm going to go 24-13.
I think Jacobi Brissette is going to be outmatched because of the personnel there.
When he did good, he had a pretty solid team around him.
I'm not convinced the Patriots are anything much at all.
No, no, they're really going to have to show us before I think they're going to get any credibility.
Yeah, so we both think that the Bengals are going to win.
But I'm not so convinced about Burroughs' arm.
Is it going to be back or is it going to take a few weeks?
Yeah, the test isn't going to be the first one he throws deep,
but the third or fourth one he throws deep.
I agree.
Is it anywhere near the receiver? Is it arriving with any authority?
Or is he losing it?
Does the first throw kind of use up his arm for the day?
That's a great way of looking at it, actually.
I mean, is he going to be just mousing it at first, being scared?
With his personality, I could see them wanting to get a deep haul early.
I could too.
And make a statement.
He's going to pound his chest.
Hey, look, hit chase in the corner, 50-yard touchdown.
And there's something to be said for making the defense start respecting the bomb right off the bat.
There is. It stretches the field.
You stretch the field and you've got the advantage.
Because you have all these different places that you can go to once you stretch the field like that.
I'm remembering the Oakland Raiders of the 1960s when they had Darrell LaMonica as quarterback.
Oh, God, I forgot all about him.
He was nicknamed the mad bomber.
Because their whole offensive plan was they would just run the ball right up the middle.
Run, run, run, run, and just pound you with the ground game.
And once you started committing to stopping the run, he would throw a 60-yard pass over everyone's head.
To a speedy receiver like Baletnikov or whoever.
I can't remember. Yeah, he was a very interesting quarterback because other than that, it was kind of a mess.
Yeah, yeah, that was the days when a 50% completion rating was okay.
Because all of your passes were like for 40 or 50 yards.
Yeah, and the rest was run, run, run.
I mean, it used to be a running league.
Now it is a passing league.
And if you have a running game, you're going to lose.
I mean, for the most part.
I mean, they did pretty good with Tannehill and Henry over there in the Titans.
They had a pretty balanced offense.
And they had enough of a running game with Henry to where Tannehill could be successful.
Took a lot of pressure off of him.
But other than that team right there, I think there's been a whole lot of teams being able to do that.
Smashmouth type of a...
The Chiefs tried it for a while with Okoye and Barry Ward.
Yeah, and it worked in the 90s.
I mean, it worked, but not enough to propel you.
You have to have that guy that can just take the game on his back.
And another thing that I've been saying forever, pinpoint passes.
He has to be deadly accurate.
That's the difference between Alex Smith and Patrick Mahomes.
Alex Smith had a good arm.
Mahomes has a great arm.
Alex Smith could pinpoint it and get you close.
But he couldn't hit someone in the breadbasket on a dead run at the five yard line.
He couldn't do that pass that only the receiver can get.
Yeah, yeah.
And that's what a lot of quarterbacks...
To me, that's one of the biggest things between a good quarterback, a really good quarterback, and a great quarterback.
Is the ability to hit someone in the breadbasket on a dead run.
That timing and that perfection only comes from a certain amount of people.
And that's it.
Yeah, just finally attuned to your own physical abilities and how things feel.
And paying attention to the physical part of throwing the football.
Consistency in absolutely everything.
And that's what is going to get you that accuracy.
And some players just don't really pay attention as much as they need to in order to be that precise.
But Mahomes has that gift.
Yeah, and also another thing is this right here.
They have to constantly guard against all points.
Yeah.
You know, Alex Smith was good to win 11 games, maybe 12 games on a really good year.
I'm not dogging him, fantastic person.
The reason Mahomes is what he is today is because of Alex Smith.
I mean a chunk of it.
Yeah.
But they didn't respect his long pass.
No.
So they could guard against that and they knew it had to be something in the middle.
They knew it had to be something like a tight end type of situation or something like that.
Yeah, if you only have to put one person back deep.
Yeah.
That gives you a lot more coverage in the shorter areas.
And the only time it really bites you in the ass, you know, even the long passes, you still got that guy deep.
Yeah.
To back up.
But the only time it really bites you in the ass is if like a runner or short pass really breaks it.
Yeah.
And your deep guy is on the other side of the field and can't catch up.
Well, you know, the last year when we traded Alex Smith, he had coincidentally the same way over in San Francisco.
He had the best rating that he'd ever had.
He had like a 103.1.
I think he had a 102 or a 101.2 or something like that.
Passer rating here.
And I think he was number one with that.
And I think he might have been number two with yards.
But here's where the yards came from.
He didn't pinpoint those bullets, you know, those long bombs.
Tyreek broke.
Yes.
Tyreek broke and he was relatively new and he was killing people with that.
And so he'd throw the football 15 yards.
Tyreek would pick up 20 more.
Yeah.
And he would inflate it in stats and same way with Kelsey too in the middle.
Kelsey would break three or four tackles.
And usually doubling.
Yeah.
The distance that Alex threw it.
Yeah.
So that made Alex Smith, people are going, you're trading this guy?
It's deceptive.
Yeah, it is.
Yeah.
Oh, there are a lot of people saying, well, that's the end of their run.
And there are a lot of people saying Alex Smith wasn't going to do shit either.
No.
He was a respectable quarterback everywhere he went.
Well, Reid allowed him to use his intelligence.
Yeah.
He didn't try to stifle what he does best.
He said, do it.
This is what we're running.
Do it.
He didn't get in his way.
Yeah.
So, all right.
So the next one we got is the Texans at the Colts.
You're going to have to go with the Texans here.
They're primed and ready to believe, have a good season, build on last year, division
rival to start the season.
Yeah.
And going into the Colts dome and trashing is probably something that they really want
to do.
Yeah.
Who is the Colts quarterback?
Oh, God.
Is this what, Mayo?
It might be, here, let me see here.
Good Lord.
I used to memorize all this stuff every season, but I guess I just don't care that much anymore.
No, me too.
Me too.
And also, I didn't have the time to either.
And you know, it's partly because that information is so readily available.
You don't need to memorize it.
So, who is the 2020-2024 Colts starting quarterback?
Sam Ethlinger and Anthony Richardson.
So, Mayo might not even be there anymore.
Yeah.
Okay.
No, I don't think so.
Colts Anthony Richardson to be youngest starting quarterback in 2024.
Okay.
So, there you go.
All right.
So, that makes it even more likely that the Texans are going to go in and just ruin their
home opener.
The Texans also have a really good defense.
Yeah, they do.
Yeah, I think, go ahead with yours.
It's going to be hard for the Colts to score.
Yep.
And I'm going to say the Texans are going to hit their stride third and fourth quarter
and start racking up points.
Because that's important for a team at this stage in their development is to go out and
have some dominant wins like that so coach isn't going to hold back.
So, this is going to be high scoring like 35-10, maybe 38-10.
I think that's pretty correct.
Okay, CJ Stroud has Stefan Diggs.
That's insane.
Yeah.
That was like my home to cheetah.
Yes.
Yeah.
What the hell?
Are you sure this is fair?
Yeah, yeah.
It's the same thing.
It is.
So, CJ Stroud, if he picks up like he did before, Diggs might lead in yards at the end of the
season and CJ is going to have a very high passer rating and stats.
Yeah.
But to me right now, as I see it, I think the real competition, don't get me wrong,
the Bengals are probably going to be solid.
They may not be as good as years in the past, but they're going to be solid.
The Bills, I think, are going to take a step or two back.
Yeah, that's looking likely.
But Baltimore is solid.
There'll be a surprise team in there somewhere and I think they're not so much a surprise
team if you watched last year.
Yeah.
I think the Texans might be the one to challenge the Chiefs for a home-filled advantage.
Yeah, yeah.
Don't discount Cleveland.
No, Cleveland, I agree with you.
Cleveland too.
They've still got a lot of good pieces.
It's going to depend on Deshaun Watson keeping his head in the game.
That's the biggest issue right there.
To me, you know what, we'll get to them and we'll talk about them.
Yeah.
So, okay.
So, I picked a high scoring game.
I picked a high scoring game too, but Texans.
I think the Colts are going to be good to rattle out 13 points at the most.
Yeah.
I think the Colts are going to have 13 and I think that probably the Texans are going
to have maybe 32.
I think they'll take CJ out.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah.
They fool it.
Man, it's tough to pull your starting quarterback in game one unless he's hurt, fragile, like
Joe Burrow.
I think it's a whole new era.
Yeah.
Everyone's looking at Burrow and going, we're not doing that.
Well, true.
And CJ Stroud is a really nice kid.
I think he'd be like, okay, I understand.
No problem.
Yeah.
I don't think he has the clout like a Mahomes going, no, I'm staying in.
When Reid's telling him to come out, he's like, no, I'm staying in.
He doesn't have that kind of clout, at least not yet.
When we get to the Jets and Aaron Rodgers, we can revisit that.
Yes.
To that point.
Yes, we can.
I think you're thinking the same thing I am.
Yes, yes.
Yeah.
And they play San Fran, I think, too, which is even going to be cooler.
Oh my gosh.
This opening day and Thursday is fantastic lineups.
I got to give it to the NFL.
Their schedule maker really did a good job.
Yeah, he amped it up.
All right, the next one is the Jags against the Fins.
The Dolphins, if you don't know, but if you listen to this podcast, you're probably a sports fan.
Yeah, yeah.
Gosh.
I'm going to have to go Dolphins here.
I think they're going to, I picked them to have a strong season.
Close game.
I'm going to say.
Hey, you want to talk?
Come on over, come on.
Yeah, yeah, any of you, any of you guys want to say anything?
Come on over.
We're just talking about the slate of games this season, this opening weekend, and who's going to win?
Oh, the Chiefs obviously.
Yeah, the Chiefs, yeah.
All right, you got anything?
It doesn't matter whether it's sports or not, we're an open book.
If you want to say anything, go ahead, we don't, you know.
I don't know, just be happy, have a good day.
All right.
What do you think about sports gambling on one side of the state line and then legal weed on the other side?
Legal weed on the other side of the state line?
To be honest, I don't like it, but obviously I can't do anything about it.
It is kind of weird, you know.
It's a sinner's dream.
Weird because people just go to the other side and do it.
Yeah, and law enforcement on both sides that says we're not going to bother trying to bust people coming from the other side of the state line because it's a waste of time.
Well, we went near the dispensary on state line.
We went against state line and that thing has more Johnson County plates than Missouri plates.
Yes, yes.
It's not good.
Yeah, I mean, yeah, here's the way I see it.
It's a sinner's dream.
They go get their weed and then they go to Kansas, start placing bets, stung.
Yeah.
There we go.
Now, then all they need is a pizza.
Or that's good.
Yeah.
And then we don't pay attention to what the politicians are doing because we're all high and betting on football.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Have a good day.
Thank you.
Thanks for joining in.
Thanks for stopping by.
That was great.
It was.
We always get good stuff out of people, don't we?
Yes.
We should ask them their pick against the Jags, against the Dolphins.
Oh, that's true.
They probably wouldn't know, but it's always fun just to go, well, I like the Dolphins' uniforms better.
Yeah.
It's always fun.
And it's surprising how many times that works out.
Yeah.
There was a plot line in a TV show where a woman was picking the winners of the football
games by the strength of their state animal.
You see, I love that.
I would go on board with that.
I would go on board with that league.
And if it was a tie, then she'd go with the state flower.
I mean, the arrowhead would serve really good.
The arrowhead could kill about anything, right?
Yeah.
So who is the Missouri state animal?
Oh, the state animal.
I was thinking about that.
Sorry.
Completely screwed that one up.
A bear.
I think it's a bear, even though it shouldn't be a bear.
It's on our flag.
Yeah.
I think it's a bear.
And the reason is, Southern Missouri has a lot of black bears.
It does.
Yeah.
If you see one, you've probably got 500.
Yes.
And they're really good at hiding.
And they're docile.
You see a black bear, you don't necessarily have to get the hell out of there.
Don't piss them off, because they can climb trees better than you can.
Yes.
And people think that too.
They're like, I'll climb up this tree.
No.
Then you're a sitting duck.
Yes.
Yeah.
That bear turns around, looks at the camera and goes, these people are stupid, aren't they?
He turns back.
You need to really read some National Geographic.
Oh, let's see.
Well, in honor of my late Uncle Mike, who was a Lifetime Dolphins fan, I'm going to
go lean towards the Dolphins this season.
Oh yeah, you picked him to actually win the division.
Yeah.
I think the Dolphins are going to keep it pretty close with the Jags and vice versa.
And then Tunga Wailoa, I have practice saying his name.
Let's just call him TV.
Yeah.
I think he's going to throw some late touchdowns and win going away.
But it'll be a pretty good matchup for the whole game.
But when it's crunch time, I think Miami is going to pull it out.
Okay.
Do you have a...
Oh.
I'm going to go with 30 to 13.
Okay.
I think the Dolphins are going to pull it out, but I think it's going to be really hard.
I think it's going to be a nut-tucker.
Yeah.
The question I was going to ask is this right here.
Okay.
Is Doug Peterson still the coach for the Jags?
Didn't he go there?
I believe so, yeah.
Okay.
Doug Peterson is really good at coming up with schemes.
I think, I mean, look at him in Philadelphia, what he did in Philadelphia.
Yeah?
Yeah.
True?
Yeah.
He contained the Patriots good enough to win.
Where is it?
Is that a helicopter?
I don't know where it is.
Oh, no.
It's a truck right there.
Oh, okay.
I was going to say, there's low rumble.
It's like a helicopter or we're having an earthquake or something.
I think this is...
Semi-live podcasting is what you get.
Yeah.
You get this two days later, but it's live.
Yes.
We're live.
I remember when we first did the first podcast and everyone was trying to call in.
It's like, oh, no, this is two days ago.
You said you were live.
Hey, we're live when we're sitting here.
That's what I said.
I said we're live here.
Right now, we're live.
Or it's like the strip pubs where they say live girls, like what, as opposed to dead
ones?
You know what, if it's named Spanky's and it's down near Reed Springs, they might pull
that off down there.
I've already spoke about it on the regular podcast.
Spanky's.
Amputee, botch boob job.
Oh, there's a market for that.
Meth face.
Oh, no.
There's definitely a market for just pretty anything.
It was the only strip club where I had to like back up and try to slowly get out of
there because they're all trying to bring you in.
Like, come on in, sugar.
Well, yeah, well, it's warm.
Come on in here.
Here, here.
Let me see your lap.
No, I'd rather eat a bullet right now.
Yeah.
I think it should be a rule.
If you're not allowed to touch the stripper, then the stripper's not allowed to touch you
either.
That's right.
Well, I think they had a lot of people turn around and running by their reaction.
Like, oh, no, no, come on back.
Hey, hey, you want to talk?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Come on.
OK.
Hey, good morning, Kansas City.
It's a beautiful day out there.
It is.
And I just want to say hello to all my kiddos on bus 124.
I love you.
All right.
We love bus 124, too.
North Kansas City School District.
All right.
Cool.
Thank you.
Have a nice day.
All right.
You, too.
What about the Chiefs?
You got anything on the Chiefs you want to say?
Yeah, they're short.
Don't listen to him, OK?
OK.
He's horrible.
OK.
When does he have a baby?
He's horrible.
OK.
When does he have it?
I can do this year.
Oh, the Chiefs?
Yeah.
Oh, the Three-Fer.
Yeah, the Three-Fer.
Definitely.
They're headed that way.
No doubt, man.
I have every faith in the team and coachery.
All right.
Who's their main competition this year?
Who are they going to see in the championship game?
Holy moly.
It hasn't been much because of the things.
I'm thinking the Eagles.
Oh, no, no.
That'd be the Super Bowl.
Oh, OK.
OK.
I'm sorry.
Yeah, the Conference Championship.
That's what you're thinking.
Yeah.
The Conference Championship.
That's what you picked.
What?
No.
I don't know.
Oh, no, you didn't.
I'm waiting to see how the Broncos are going to do against them.
Oh, OK.
That's what I want to see.
Well, they're really high.
He's looking to see if they're in there.
They're not there.
I picked the Chiefs and the Lions in the Super Bowl.
Oh, there you go.
That was it.
There you go.
You know what?
That would be an interesting.
Yep.
Who else would be interesting would be?
Come on, man.
The Vikings.
The Vikings, maybe?
No, that would be interesting.
What would be interesting would be Carolina against, let me think here, what's another
ass bag?
You're in trouble now.
Let's see, Carolina against.
Who's the bottom feeder of the AFC?
Oh, gosh.
Oh, New England.
New England.
There we go.
Yeah.
That would be really interesting.
As long as they don't have to play the balls, they'll be fine.
No more Tom Brady, dude.
Oh, no, they'll just be filming.
There you go.
Oh, OK.
That's what we're filming.
It's good, though, because pretty much in history, the Lions have been the underdog.
You know, they really have.
That would be a good game.
They should have been there last year.
The Browns as well.
The Browns, yeah.
They're going to have a solid year.
Yeah, they definitely are.
It's going to be an interesting year to see who's going to walk over who.
I'm looking forward to it.
We might do it.
Have a good day, you guys.
Thank you so much.
Thanks for stopping by.
Yeah, thank you.
All righty.
It never fails.
We get the most interesting people.
Everybody who stops by has always had something fun or interesting to talk about.
We've never had a dud.
No, we never have.
We wind up looking like the duds.
Yeah, they're like, man, I wish those two would shut up and no one else talk.
We should just turn the podcast over to them and walk away.
Here we go.
Thank you.
And I'm sure most people are thinking on the other end.
Yeah, they're thinking, why did I download this garbage?
Yep.
What I love doing now, and I've been doing this quite a while, is reading hate mail.
It's awesome.
I swear.
That sounds like fun.
Yeah, I encourage them.
I say, if you hate me, write me.
Yeah.
So anyhow, I think it's great.
I love it.
I think it's great.
I would rather read hate mail than love mail.
Definitely.
Because love mail is like, oh, you're great.
Keep it up.
Hate mail is like, you know, you did this, you did this, and you said that.
It's way more interesting.
Yeah, way more interesting.
Yeah.
Okay.
I forgot what game we were talking about.
Jaguars.
Jaguars, that's it.
The Jags against the Dolphins.
I think the Jags are going to give them a hell of a fight because they're going to pass
rush.
They're going to disguise blitz.
They're going to have people covered, but you're going to have Tyreek Hill and Waddle.
Yeah.
And that's going to be the factor that propels them over.
But I don't think it's going to be as easy as it looks.
Yeah.
I think it's going to be like 28 to 24.
Yeah.
And the reason I think that is because I think that the Jags are poised to maybe have a decent
year again.
Yeah.
And I think they have a bone to pick with Miami anyhow.
Yeah, true.
And I think that Doug Peterson, it is an even number year.
Yeah.
So he'll be good.
Oh, funny.
Yeah.
There is that about him.
Yeah.
Some reason.
Yeah.
So we go to the next one.
The Panthers versus the Saints.
Oh, gosh.
Okay.
Yeah.
Okay.
We'll go to the next.
No.
Man, Panthers are going to struggle to win anything this year and they're going to look
bad every game.
And they're going to have 15,000 people in their home stadium and their stadium is going
to claim it's a sellout again.
Just like they lied last year.
I like Derek Carr as a quarterback anyhow.
Yeah.
Derek Carr is a pretty good quarterback.
I'd rate him over Kirk Cousins.
There was somebody else the Saints picked up just this past off season.
Oh, who was it?
Is Honey Badger still there?
Yeah.
Matthew's still there.
Yeah.
Because he just made a comment about Mahomes.
It wasn't bad.
He's never motherfuckin'.
No.
He's a classy guy.
He just made a comment and I'm pretty sure he was in his Saints uniform.
Yeah.
He gave him a good compliment.
I think it's about the three-peat and he said something like, if anyone's going to do it,
it's going to be him.
Yeah.
It sounds like it.
Yeah.
So.
So I think the Saints are going to have a walk in the park against the Panthers.
Yeah.
The Panthers are going to look like a genius and everything's going to work on the Saints
side of the ball and the Panthers are going to look like what they are, which is a business
that is pretending to be a football team.
Yes.
100%.
They remind me of the Chiefs in the 80s.
Yeah.
From about 75 till about 85 or 86.
Flat line.
Yeah.
When Jack Stedman was in charge of the Chiefs, he ran it just to make sure they made a profit
each year and that was all they cared about.
And that was all he gave a shit about.
Yeah.
And in between, he was making horrible draft pick choices.
And you know, back then, the revenue stream wasn't all that great.
So that was a decent business model.
No, it was.
But now there is so much more money to be made with a successful team.
Not only with the team, the individual players have more value for marketing and merchandise.
It's just winning is now the very profitable thing to do, whereas before it was like, all
you have to do is have a team and you're making money.
Yeah.
Here's what I think happened with Stedman.
Yeah.
First Fuller, he went for Fuller instead of Elway, was it?
Or Marino?
Black Ledge.
Black Ledge, okay.
He got Black Ledge instead of Marino.
Yeah, okay.
First he went Steve Fuller, complete bust.
Yeah.
Then he went Todd Black, Black Ledge, complete bust.
I think after that he was like, don't scare me.
Yeah, yeah, I can't hit it right anyhow.
So he settled for Bill Kenny, who he picked up in a later round and actually did a decent
job.
I mean, for that bad of a team, he was okay.
The Chiefs didn't draft a quarterback in the first round between Black Ledge and Mahomes?
No, I know.
Not one.
They were afraid to.
Yeah.
Well, Marty Schottenheimer was always in these rehab projects, which never served him well.
He would get like Matt Blunden in the sixth round.
And then he would go and trade for a Montana or a Gerback.
Schottenheimer's the mentality of patch it up, good enough to get going again, whereas
the better choice would be let's fix it right so it's better next time.
Yeah, he was more interested to me on paper than he was actual like, let's go ahead and
just tank.
I really like these two guys coming out of college.
I'm pretty sure we'd be able to get one of them.
I don't think he had any faith in his draft, him or Peterson's drafting ability to draft
a quarterback.
No, all the better players that they are high on were the ones they got from other teams.
Yeah.
And I would like to say one thing on Schottenheimer and Peterson's defense.
Montana was going to go to the Super Bowl until he got sandwiched in Buffalo.
Yes.
And he got knocked out of the game.
And the old fumble-fuck Dave Craig came in and fumbled the ball and all different kinds
of stupid shit.
Yep.
Small hands Dave Craig.
Yes.
He's the guy that Derrick Thomas sacked seven times in the game.
And almost got the eighth one.
I know.
That eighth one he could have got real easily.
And that would have won us the game too, instead of being lost.
I know.
It sucked.
Yeah, we were about the only team that had one guy who had seven sacks on the quarterback
and they still lost.
Yeah.
So, anyhow.
And Dave Craig was a good quarterback.
He just wasn't good enough to win a championship game.
Yeah, he was the quintessential game manager quarterback.
Yeah.
The guy who's not going to lose the game for you.
Yeah.
Montana had them all psyched up and you could see it.
Yeah.
As soon as he went out of the game you could see it on their face.
Popped the balloon.
Yeah.
Popped the balloon and it's done.
Yeah.
So, was that Thomas and Smith that sandwiched him?
I think so, yeah.
Was it Thurman Thomas?
No, he was on, Thurman Thomas was the body bag.
Oh, he was on, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It was Bruce Smith and who else was there?
Bruce Smith and I thought the other guys were.
Ryan Cox was there for a while.
Yeah.
Oh, well, anyhow.
Yeah, that sandwich did him in.
I'm going to pick the Saints over the Panthers too and I'm going to pick them big.
I'm going to say like 35 to, I'm going to give them 17.
And I think one's going to be a garbage touchdown at the very late.
Yeah.
17.
Okay, the next one we have is the Minnesota Vikings against the New York Giants.
Huh.
All right, well, let's see, the next one, no.
Well, you know, if the Vikings have any chance to win their opening game it'd be the Giants
who are in a little bit of a disarray.
I still think the Giants are going to be able to beat the Vikings.
The Vikings seem to have Justin Jefferson and that's about it.
Yeah.
You know, their running game's okay, but they keep trading away their good running
backs.
Yeah.
I can't really think of anything exciting to say about the Vikings' defense.
No, no.
I can see the Giants winning this in a boring game.
You know, something like 2017.
Yeah.
I really have nothing else except that.
I agree.
I forgot the quarterback for the Panthers, the draft pick.
Oh, well, you know what, anyhow.
That game is going to be kind of like the flyover state for the weekend.
Yes.
That's the game that everyone goes and does yard work on.
Yeah.
Like, man, it's 72.
Oh, wait, let's check football.
Man, that yard looks nice.
I'm going to place a bed on it and then turn the TV off.
Yeah, and then I'm going to go outside and I'm going to mow the lawn.
Next one is an interesting one.
Raiders versus Chargers.
I like this matchup.
I do too.
You know, I don't have much hope for the Raiders or the Chargers this year, but AFC West rivals,
they're going to get pretty stamped up for that.
Yeah.
The Raiders have a really good defense.
Do you think they can harass Herbert enough to?
Yeah.
I think Max Crosby is feeling good this year.
Gosh, yeah, that guy's a one-man wrecking crew.
He is.
Yeah.
I think Max Crosby is going to have a good game against the Chargers.
And God, I never even did figure out who the Raiders quarterback is this season because
Garoppolo is going.
Hang on.
Yeah.
Yeah, they dumped him at the end of last year and he went to the Rams.
Yeah.
I think they're really disappointed in him, how he performed and constantly getting injured.
Yeah.
And I think that the whole league is like went away from Garoppolo.
Yeah.
I mean, they had chances at the Super Bowl against the Chiefs, the first one that Garoppolo
was in.
They had chances to win that game, but he could not get it done with his arm.
And I think people are just like, he's an okay quarterback, but he just can't.
Let's see here.
Ah, Gardner, Minshew, Nathan Peterman, and Aiden O'Connell.
Hmm, okay.
So if they're going to start Minshew, I think he can have a decent game.
He can get the ball to Devontae Adams often enough.
Yeah, go ahead.
I think the Raiders could do it.
Score?
30-13.
That only gives the Chargers one touchdown or two touchdowns and a missed extra point.
O'Connell was the Raiders quarterback last year, right?
When Garoppolo went down, I think it was O'Connell or whatever.
I think it was.
I think it was there last year, yeah.
He wasn't very good.
Gardner Minshew is good.
He's very intriguing, though.
He's a bridge player.
He's not like your franchise or long-term guy, but he's there until the good guy comes.
He's a, um, shit, man.
He's kind of like, uh, I can't think of his name, man.
Damn it.
I can't think of anything this morning.
It's driving me nuts.
Anyhow.
Raiders over the Chargers, I think it's going to be probably 24-13, just because it's a
division game.
Yeah.
Yeah, so.
Yeah, that sounds more realistic than my 30-13.
Fitzpatrick.
Yeah.
Minshew reminds me of another Ryan Fitzpatrick.
Yeah.
He's a guy that's good and can win some games, but forget about, you know, anything else.
Yeah.
I never really felt comfortable with Fitzpatrick.
You know, whatever team he was on, it was like, oh, wow, he played well, but.
Fitzmagic.
Yeah.
He won the game against the Patriots with a horrible team as a Dolphins.
That's right.
Yeah.
It propelled us to the game being here, the championship game being here.
I remember that now.
People were sending him thank you notes and cards.
I'm pretty sure New England was doing the opposite.
Yes.
Yeah.
Probably sending him little boxes of defecation.
Here you go.
Yeah.
And it's not illegal to mail defecation.
I remember delivering an envelope with a little dead mouse in it.
What?
Was it for a biological study or was it?
This woman came out and said somebody just keeps mailing me these things and she brought
out three different envelopes, that dead mice in.
They're all dried up.
I would look at her and go, who did you fuck?
Just be honest.
Yeah.
Just be honest.
This is a woman's corn thing.
Just be honest.
That's like, was it fatal attraction where they boiled the rabbit?
Oh yeah.
Something like that.
That's kind of like that level.
Yeah.
That's like psychotic shit.
What can I do to really piss them off?
Then they look down and they hear a snap and they see the mouse.
Oh.
They took the time to dry them because they weighed nothing.
They dried them?
They dried them.
I bet you that woman disappeared, didn't you?
It wasn't my regular route.
So I did it every once in a while.
That psychopath probably went and got her.
I remember delivering one of those lumpy, bumpy envelopes and wondering, what the hell's
in here?
Oh, okay.
It's Mickey.
Hey, look, Stuart.
Oh, geez.
We're wrecking childhoods.
It's all right.
Yes.
Well, they're not supposed to be listening to this.
I put a split sit down on Elton.
So if you're letting your kid listen to this, you're bad.
All righty.
And especially if you're a really cool MILF, you need a spanking.
All right.
I'm glad Val doesn't listen.
She does not listen to our FILF.
The MILF I was talking about was her.
Yeah.
See, my wife and I don't have any grandkids yet.
So technically she's still a MILF.
Oh, okay.
Wait a minute.
Val would be a GILF.
GILF, yeah.
All right.
I got to change everything to a GILF.
Yeah.
All right.
Next one, Broncos versus Seahawks.
This is an interesting game.
Yeah.
The question is, they didn't hire within the Seahawks.
Pete Carroll wanted to hire one of his assistants really bad because he thought the guy was
ready to make the leap.
Yeah.
They hired a guy from college, did they?
Like they did with Pete Carroll?
Yeah.
I'm blanking on that.
I didn't recognize the name.
I didn't either.
When they announced it.
I didn't either.
It's somebody they guess had their eye on, but it was recommended to them.
Pretty unknown.
We know a little bit about the Broncos, so go ahead.
I see the Broncos having a good game against the Seahawks.
Seahawks is another one of those teams that seem to have all the parts, but they just
can't consistently get it done.
Who's their quarterback now?
It's still Geno Smith.
I think it is.
I didn't know if the new regime didn't think that much of him.
It might have said, okay, no.
I think as the Bonex, I think they're going to do everything they can to make sure he
has a good season.
Seahawks starting quarterback 2024.
As part of my NFL preview, I mentioned that the Broncos are going to try to make sure
the Broncos win a lot of games this season to get Bonex used to winning.
They don't want them to have a statistically good year, but lose 12 games.
Geno Smith and Sam Howell is the backup.
That guy was from Washington, wasn't it Howell?
He did good a couple of times with the enemy.
Anyhow, yeah, go ahead.
Not a high scoring game.
I think it'll probably be 24-17 in that ballpark, but I think the Broncos are going to have
a good day.
Bonex is going to look decent, and they're going to make sure that pretty much all the
play calls they send into him are things that he can do and he's good at.
You mentioned it on the last podcast.
They want him to win a few games to get him.
Get used to the success.
Go ahead.
Don't do anything to rattle his confidence.
I guess that's what you're about to say.
Get him confidence, get him to believe himself.
Get him to say, hey, look, you're playing in the NFL and you're doing good.
That kind of thing.
If he comes up 500 and in the top 10, I think he's going to have a little bit of confidence
and build from there.
If that doesn't happen, then you're going to look at another failure coming out of Denver.
They've had a string of those ever since Elway left.
Coincidentally, Elway is one of the pickers.
Yeah.
They didn't draft Elway.
They didn't draft Manning.
No.
Who of the Broncos drafted that wound up being a really good quarterback for him for a long
period of time?
Who was Elway's backup for a long time?
Carlos, Rich Carlos.
Yeah, he was decent.
Yeah, every time he was, he just couldn't get in the game because Elway was so bulletproof.
Yeah, so.
When he got in, he was damn good.
He might very well be one of the better quarterbacks they developed.
Yeah.
Just by default.
Yeah.
Because no one else they picked.
And he stuck around for almost a decade, wasn't it?
Yeah, maybe Jake Plummer.
Yeah, Jake Plummer was good.
He just didn't want to play anymore.
What about Jay Cutler?
Rocket arm.
Did they draft him?
I think they did.
I thought they were, you know what, maybe they didn't.
Yeah.
Because I was looking specifically at who they drafted.
Okay.
Who's been a good quarterback for him.
Here's a perfect example of another Jeff George, million dollar arm, 10 cent mind.
Yeah.
Yeah, just not, yeah.
Okay.
That was like the highlight of, who was the sportscaster?
Jason somebody here in town, big giant food tick.
Anyway, the highlight of his life was he was on the same college team as Jeff George and
held hands with him in the muddle.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
I think I know who you're talking about.
The ball state guy.
Damn it.
Yeah, I know who you're talking about because there's a ball state.
There's not very many ball staters.
Yeah.
Who drafted Jay Cutler quarterback?
Denver Broncos.
Okay, so they did draft him.
Yeah, he worked out pretty well.
Yeah, he did.
They traded him though.
Yeah.
Bears.
He went to the Bears.
Yeah, he went to the Bears.
The Bears.
The Bears, yep.
The Bears.
Now is that the same Bears that women would rather be in the woods with than a man?
Yeah.
I'm still seeing memes on that.
That got way more traction than it deserved, didn't it?
I know it did.
I was like.
And people just lost their minds over it.
I know.
But you know, the funny thing is if the dead internet theory is correct, it wasn't people
losing their minds on it.
It was bots.
Yes.
Trying to get us to join in.
I think it's a percentage.
I think like 70% are bots and 30% are real.
Yeah.
I think there's been enough of us who've just gotten sick and tired of the garbage on social
media.
Yeah, I don't bother.
That there's not enough of us left who are real to generate the content, the amount of
likes and the excitement.
So yeah, 70% is just bots out there posting stuff, trying to get us excited, trying to
get us angry.
And let's face it, Zuckerberg has pretty much said allegedly all this stuff, you know,
that he actually didn't get sued for all this stuff, I think.
Yeah, somebody tried to bring some sort of fraud thing going, but it's not illegal.
There's nothing illegal about having pretend members on your social media platform spewing
out AI and written posts.
There's nothing illegal about that.
And it's good for your business.
So of course they're going to do it.
Oh yeah, yeah.
Well, it's funny, whenever I talk about anything, all of a sudden my Facebook feed is trying
to sell me that.
Yeah.
Yeah, like I did a couple of experiments.
I talked about this on the other podcast.
I'm like, you know, get a niche market, okay?
Like antique vases.
Yeah.
Say it close to your phone.
Next thing you know, you're going to see antique vases.
Something that you've never seen on there, but after you mention it, it will be there.
The other day I was looking at an audio interface with more inputs than the one I currently
have.
And I did one search and looked at one brand.
And for the last two weeks, my feed has just been flooded with ads for audio interfaces,
articles about audio interfaces, sales ads pop up.
It's on YouTube.
It's on my Google News feed.
Oh, that sounds like hell.
It's on Facebook.
Just mention it once and it's everywhere.
And that's not done by people.
That's done by bots.
Yeah.
So why not do all this other stuff by bots?
Yeah.
I keep seeing tons of AI created pictures trying to manipulate my emotions.
Usually it's like a dog that's crying because he's been abandoned or roadside.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's a totally fake picture.
I agree.
I think dogs don't cry out of their eyes.
Humans do that.
And I look at that and I think, well, this is just a blatant manipulation.
So I kill the post and scroll down the page and there's another one under a slightly different
name, slightly different picture.
Like wow, somebody somewhere has identified me and is trying to get something out of me
with these pictures.
And I'm not sure what.
Are they trying to get me to donate or are they trying to get me to just respond?
I look at some of it as a test to see how you react.
I think it's like, okay, they come up with all this information.
Okay, here's how he did on this.
Here's how he did on this.
So you'll be a part of a score of a final test.
Okay, this guy you can try to sell cars to.
This guy, he likes Doritos.
It's like the big companies that'll put out the major hiring drive and they'll get thousands
of people to send them job applications.
But they never had any jobs open.
They just wanted that marketing data.
And then they use what they can out of it and then they sell the rest of the data to
somebody else.
These temp services.
I'm pretty sure temp services do that too.
I mean, yeah, that's an alternate way to make more money.
They're all bored.
I know this isn't anything to do with football.
Have you heard of the recent Borderlands movie?
No.
Okay, there's a video game franchise called Borderlands.
It's first person shooter.
The graphics are kind of cartoony, but it's really graphically violent.
There's a lot of foul language and it's basically a whole lot of fun because it's kind of over
the top.
And there's been Borderlands 1, 2, and 3 and then some auxiliary games, et cetera.
And then here recently they put out a Borderlands movie.
And it did horribly, horribly at the box office.
It has a rotten tomato score.
It started out at 0% and then one person gave it a positive review.
So it got up to 3%.
People working on the movie have come out and said publicly, said, yeah, while we were
making this movie, we all knew it was terrible.
It has nothing to do with the game franchise.
It just kind of looks like it and uses some of the same names, but it's just an awful
story.
So was this authorized by the game people?
Yes.
And the guys working on it, the men and women working on it say this was never intended
to make money.
Everybody knew it was a piece of garbage.
This was a tax write off for somebody.
Oh, oh, okay.
So the game came out bombed, but interest in the video games skyrocketed.
And wouldn't you know it?
Borderlands 4 is just about ready to come out.
Yep.
Isn't that amazing?
They spent a hundred million dollars making this piece of shit movie, intending for it
to flop, which would garner a lot of press and publicity.
Get people excited about the good version of Borderlands, which was the games, and now
they've got a new game coming out.
That was the plan all along.
Well, the problem is people fall for this.
Yeah.
Did you really sit there and listen to all that garbage that was being, do you actually
believe one inch of it?
I didn't think so.
Hang on, game over.