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Two Deucebags and a Microphone.
We Talk.
Jesus.
And now, Deep Thoughts with Mark.
Hmm, let's see. If I identify as a dog and I start wandering around the block without a collar on, could Animal Control come by and pick me up?
Hmm. I may never know.
Have you ever wondered where something came about? Have you ever looked at something and said,
Hey, I wonder what the origin of that is? Well, so have we. That's why we give you The Origin of.
The Origin of? The Nose Ring. The Middle East is the birthplace of the nostril ring,
piercing, tracking back 4,000 years. Nostrils were held as a status of upper class if they were pierced with a ring.
Introducing Rob Radd's new book, How to Track Your Enemy by Scent. That's right, smell your enemy before they get you.
Order this gem now and get a free virtual tour of Rob's secret bunker in Camdenton, Missouri.
Also receive a free copy of his new book, How to Clean Raw Sewage for Food.
Two douchebags and a microphone. I'm Mark.
And I am Rob.
Rob, good evening. How are you?
Doing alright, brother. Doing alright.
Good. You got to see your...
I like what's going on this weekend. Got to see my little man. Got to spend a little bit of time with him. That was nice.
That's really good. Cool. Very cool. Glad. When you sent me a message, I was like, Hell yeah. Go see your grandkid.
Well, my daughter needs to talk to Dad a little bit too.
Yeah, you know what, I'm glad you're able to be there for her.
She's going through a rough time and she can't talk to Dad.
She texted me and said, What are you doing? I said, Well, I'm getting ready to cook dinner and everything after a while.
And then I got a podcast. She goes, Well, I kind of want to come over.
I said, Come on over. I got this.
Yeah, absolutely. Family is always more important than a podcast. We love podcasts, but that's just the way it is.
And also, Topher and I have made up for the ones that have more than enough.
We're actually looking at having six podcasts a week now because Topher and I do about three hours, Tuesday or Wednesday of every week.
So we are going to rate the games that we called the week before and then make our predictions on the next weekend's games.
So this is going to be a regular feature until the end of the NFL season.
We were going to include the Royals if they did good, but I don't know.
They're in the middle of a six game losing streak and they're losing right now.
So maybe we won't do that. Yeah, still two to nothing bottom to six.
The Royals are kind of falling apart at the seams. We'll see if they make the playoffs.
But I have an article about some stuff on the NFL a little bit later that we'll get to.
And this is something that I want a lot of input from you, Rob, because this is it's interesting what they want to do.
And we'll go into that probably next segment, you know, after your show, after your story.
OK, all right, we're going to start this off.
Luna is a new pet bot. It is described as a companion plus a task helper.
Luna looks like a cross between a dog and a cat, only robot.
Power Luna on. Yeah, she's really cool. You got to take a look at her.
Power Luna on and connect it to your smartphone.
With your phone, you can see first view of Luna's view.
Luna is going into the bathroom and all of a sudden you'll see like the crapper, you'll see the shower, but bathtub, you know,
if she's going in the bedroom, you'll see the bed, the dresser, you know, you'll see first view of what she's looking at, which is really cool.
You can wake Luna by saying hello, Luna. It will automatically recognize your voice.
Luna has a ball that is shipped with her. At that point, you can play fetch with the robot.
And also bullfight with a small towel. She runs through the towel bullfight style.
It's really cool, Rob. They're showing someone playing a bullfighter with her, right?
And they have that little, that little bitty towel, her size towel or him or, you know, Luna size, and she'll run through the towel.
It's it's pretty cool. So when you get a chance, look up Luna. It's spelled L-O-O.
I think I'm going to. Yeah, this is cool. I mean, she's like 500 bucks.
I want to compare how much she uses to recharge to compare that to what it would cost to feed a golden lap.
I bet you Luna is cheaper.
You can have her. It'd be a hell of a lot less hassle, I guarantee it.
Oh, hell yeah. I mean, I play with the golden lap. We play fetch, everything.
Luna won't mark her territory everywhere. Everything else is annoying.
We have dogs, I understand. Our little pug is the most defiant little bastard I've ever met in my life.
Good thing he's cute. Yeah, he's the only one I've met, my boss. He's as hard-hitting as I am.
Good thing that pug's cute. That's all I got to say. Otis is cute. That's all he's got going for him.
But it works. So Luna can also bullfight, like I said. You can have her follow you around the house.
Luna will fist bump you. The robot actually farts in the house, if you wish it to.
I bet Dunstink is bad. Oh, I hope not.
Oh my god. Dog farts are the worst. I'm sure there'd be different settings.
Probably. I'm just kind of getting the rough draft of this. I'm just bordering around the edges.
I know, I know. No, there's a lot more in this article, but you know what? I didn't want to spend three hours on it, so this is what we're getting.
If you want to know more, like we always say, Google it. Luna. L-O-O. I'm going to. I'm going to. I'm definitely interested.
Luna is designed to keep kids busy. You need to clean your house and the kids are going nuts.
You know, your children can actually do trivia with them.
Luna has many different trivia categories, like dinosaurs or animals.
Luna will high five a person for getting a trivia question right.
What? Isn't this cool? Yeah.
Luna can even laser point if you purchase that add-on.
One might wonder what one of these splendid little creatures will run you. Roughly around $500 with shipping.
I consider that not too bad.
I got my yearly bonus coming. Oh, there you go. Get a Luna.
And then put Luna in front of your golden lab and go, listen.
The least pain in the ass is staying.
Okay, so anyhow, going along. Recently it's been revealed in a book what Frank Sinatra's favorite cocktail was.
It wasn't anything like they thought either, dude. You know, they're saying it was like, yeah, this is someone like new Frank really well.
And everybody thought it was like a two to one whiskey of some sort.
Like, you know, two fingers whiskey, one finger water, you know, neat, I think is what they call it.
And I forgot what kind of I think it was Jack. I think it was Jack neat. They thought was his drink.
The drink is not so popular anymore.
With most bartenders having to either Google it or ask what the patron what its ingredients is.
The two ingredient cocktail is easy to make and probably could get it from most well stocked bars.
The drink became famous when Old Blue Eyes would whip them up for friends in his dressing room.
To master the drink, what one will need are scotch and drum buoy.
Or drum. I think it's drum drum buoy mix a drum buoy with scotch and with ice and stir.
Make sure it's nice and cold before straining into the glass. You know how they do that.
You put the they put it in with the ice and then you pour it over the ice.
And, you know, yeah. So into a glass over a big fancy ice cube.
It's been rumored that the drink got its name because the bartender would mix the drink with a big rusty nail.
The truth is probably the color of the drink, which highly resembles the color of a rusty nail.
Nobody seems to know for sure how the name came about, but it's probably one of those two things I would think.
I encourage you to turn some heads next time you're out, Rob. You know, or I will, too. I'm going to do this.
You think bars, you know, could carry ice cold night train, maybe?
No, no, probably not. They want their patrons to come back.
But still, my down here, you're allowed to bring your own bottle.
Oh, really? Oh, it's some places. Yeah.
They'll store it in the refrigerator for you. And when you want some, if it's cold, they'll say,
if it's cold, they'll tell you to start to store the night train out back.
Hey, put it back there. We don't want it to be other alcohol.
Yeah, we don't want nothing to do with that.
Yes. They're like, you see that way over there, that one tree way over there off of our property?
It goes under that. And that'd be about it.
Anyhow, Vince Neil and Motley Crue's favorite drink is rumored to be Crisco with tonic.
And next. Oh.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know, yeah. He is rather cumbersome. He is rather portly.
So yeah, yeah. Rob, are you a fan of gravy?
Yes. Cool, me too. I tend to enjoy white gravy more than brown. What about you?
Yeah, I'm definitely more of a white gravy than brown.
I'll take brown if that's all they have. But man, white gravy is just so much better.
And it depends. You know, if it's like roast beef, yeah, I can handle white gravy.
But if it's like a pork tenderloin or something.
No, no, no, you can't have. It would ruin the pork tenderloin if you have brown gravy on a pork tenderloin.
That would be number one. That would be sacrilegious. They wouldn't order that. If it's a real cafe, they would they'd tell you to go.
They'd be like, no, we're not doing this and you got to leave.
So well, brown gravy. It has a new use.
The UK has invented world gravy. The UK has invented world gravy wrestling championships.
Sounds good to me. The International. What? Awesome. Yeah, I mean, I think that's the best thing you can do with brown gravy besides, you know, pour it down the toilet.
I mean, so well, brown gravy. It has a new use.
The UK has invented the world gravy wrestling championships.
The international competition named one of the top 10 weirdest sports seas around the world.
It was I don't know who does this. Who does this thing of the top 10 sports seas? Well, whoever they are.
They they deemed it one of the weirdest sports. So, OK, 16 men and eight women.
I'm going to look it up. Please do. Not tonight, but I'm looking. Oh, my God, I got to watch.
So you got Luna and you got gravy, gravy wrestling. Yeah. Yeah.
OK, see 16 men and eight women battle around in about five hundred twenty eight gallons of gravy is used at the event, which is held annually at the Rosen Bowl Pub in Rosedale,
Lancashire, Rosedale, not Rosedale, Rosedale, Lancashire, which is England.
The matches are two minutes long. They have judges. Contestants will keep battling until they lose or go all the way.
They have two winners, a male and a female. Each will receive sixty six dollars.
And an engraved trophy.
But it sounds to me that's like our version of mud wrestling.
It is good analogy, Rob. Yeah. Yeah.
They just they're they're like, we don't want mud over here.
Brown gravy. Yeah. Which is fine. I get it.
It would. Honestly, I think brown gravy would taste better than mud. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. No, no, no. I I'm on board with this. I'm on board with this.
Yeah. They want to replace mud wrestling.
I already wrote it down. That's getting looked up. Cool.
So anyhow, they received the sixty six dollars and an engraved trophy.
But how about a plate of Salisbury steak as well?
I think that would be the decent thing to do, don't you? Instead of wasting all that. Yeah.
You got the brown gravy. That's about the only thing brown gravy is good for.
Yeah. And like if the chick is hot, you could ask her if you could like wipe some brown gravy off of her and like eat your Salisbury steak.
Right. Yeah. Yeah.
And if she's not hot, you get the hell out of there and eat your brown gravy and Salisbury steak somewhere else.
Right. All right.
Rob, check this out. I would like a crushed Oreo wrestling championship.
That would be the best sport. Yeah. Yeah.
Crushed Oreo. Oh my gosh. Yeah. Yeah.
I mean, I mean, I might edit this out. Yeah, I may edit this out. That's a hell of an idea.
Yeah, I'd have to. Yeah. Yeah.
I mean, and then you can even get crazy. You know, you can go like lemon meringue.
You go key lime. You could go Dutch chocolate. I mean, you go all different kinds of ways with it.
You know, you've got chocolate. There you go. Yeah. Yeah.
You can even go fudge during Christmas time, like maybe peppermint fudge.
Halloween, you could do pumpkin spice pudding.
I don't know.
A long time ago. I'm not joking you on this, Rob. I had a Halloween party.
I had a Halloween party. I used to rent the event center out in Cleveland, Missouri.
The little bitty thing is at the bottom of City Hall, the basement of City Hall.
And this is where people without basements in Cleveland could run to if there's an aider coming your way or something. Right.
So I ran out for like 30 bucks and I would have jello wrestling in those little blue pools they sell at Walmart.
Well, one night things got out of hand. I got like a $600 training.
Hey, yes. This this girl that I was kind of seeing at the time decided it would be cute to invite a bunch of homeless guys over with it
because she just thought they'd be fun to hang around with. And they stole all the food and it ended up in a large fucking fight, a jello fight.
And I spent like $600 having that damn place cleaned.
Needless to say, I didn't do any more of those parties and it was hell.
It was hell trying to get the homeless guy out. But the one thing I did that was funny is nobody knows this.
But you know how you bought the kegs, right? OK. And on the top it says Budweiser, Bush, whatever.
Well, I bought Milwaukee's best because it's like 20 bucks cheaper. I took it down there and I tore the top off.
I told everybody it was Budweiser or no, I think I told them it was Michelob and everybody was like, wow.
And everyone's going, God, man, I'm glad you got Michelob. This sure tastes great.
And I said, they're thinking this works. The power of suggestion.
I told them it was Michelob and they all think it's the best beer they've ever had in years.
I know. And when they hear this, they're probably going to go, that motherfucker.
Well, you could you could have helped me run those homeless guys out. OK.
So you deserve that. Whoever you are that's listening to this and cursing me right now.
Yeah. So that's what you get. You get Milwaukee's best.
Instead of Michelob. But you're told it's Michelob and you believe it to this day.
Thirty some years later, now you find out if you listen, if you don't listen, you still think it's Michelob.
So anyhow, yeah, that was a big mess. It just it sucked ass.
Well, that long ago, they probably don't remember.
No, probably not. Hell, I was thinking I was listening.
I was listening to the other show, the show before last.
And I'd forgotten that I taught you to play Rocky like a hurricane.
And I forgot that I had a black bass and match my Charbel Jackson.
And I was like, wow. Yeah, I'm like, yeah, what else have I missed?
Yeah, I remember that left handed guitar. It was the only one that I could get.
And I was like, OK, well, I'm just going to play it Jimi Hendrix style.
And actually, I liked it better. I like the bass better upside down.
You have the you have the octave strings on the bottom.
Like a guitar is or I think that is the only reason the only way I learned how to play it.
Yeah, yeah, it was easy. Yeah, yeah.
Upside down. Yeah. Or the octave strings on the top, not the bottom.
Yeah. And it was pretty. Yeah. And it was easier for me and I guess you to play.
But I couldn't believe that I forgot all about that.
I'm like, wow. After you said that all said, I'm like, oh, yeah, yeah.
We used to go jam in in John's bedroom all the time. Remember? Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. I forgot all about that shit.
So anyhow, I wonder what I was thinking, man.
I wonder what else, you know, people come up to me that I haven't seen a long time.
I'm going, hey, you remember when we did this and I have to go, oh, yeah, yeah. But I don't.
I mean, yeah, it just amazes me sometimes.
I'm like, how in the world? But I mean, I guess you can't remember everything.
And if you could, you'd have a photographic memory and be a genius.
So anyhow, so that is the end of the first third.
So we turn to you, Rob, like always, to tell us what you think we need to hear.
Well, one of the most recognizable parts of the Titanic has fallen off after more than a century at the ocean floor.
OK. The story of the ship's historic wreck was immortalized by James Cameron's eponymous 1997 movie.
One of the film's best known scenes appears early on when Jack, played by Leonardo DiCaprio,
raises Rose, played by Kate Winslet, if you didn't know that.
I think everybody knew that.
Yeah. Into the air as they stand at the very front of the ocean liner.
I'm flying, Rose says, as she spreads her arms. But an uncrewed dive to the wreck this summer
reveals that a segment of that very part of the ship has fallen apart.
MDR report on Monday.
We discovered when we reached the wreck last month that the port side railing has fallen off.
James Inca, a researcher from RMS Titanic, Inc., which has sold salvage rights over the Titanic remains.
Hey, Rob, you know what's cool, though? They don't need the railing anymore.
No, they don't.
Yeah, so it's okay. Anyhow, go ahead.
This is a very natural thing. Different parts of the railing are getting weaker.
But for such a high profile and highly photographed and iconic railing to now be resting on the ocean floor below,
it's a significant change. Titanic will literally never look the same.
Okay. All right, now I get that.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, they haven't really figured out a way to get that up, right, from the bottom of the ocean?
No, no. They're still researching. And come find out, this is the only team that can touch it.
Yeah, that's what I thought. So, I mean...
And they're called RMS Titanic, Inc.
Yeah.
Sold salvage rights.
Yeah, it's going to fall apart. I mean, they're not going to be able to get much of that up there.
So, I mean, it is what it is. I mean, I know it's history and everything, but I mean, you know...
And it's been more than 100 years.
I know. It holding up that long speaks volumes.
It's time. It's time.
Yeah. I mean, the whole reason the whole thing went down was from this show that I watched,
I think it's on the History Channel or something like that.
They went through what happened. And what happened is the company should have used bigger rivets to keep the steel together.
And they cheaped out and used smaller rivets.
If they used the bigger rivets that were gauged for that much pressure, it would never have broke a hole in it.
But because they cheaped out on the rivets, it tore a hole in it and the rest is history.
So, they cheaped out and it cost everybody their life and the big Titanic down the drain. So, wow.
I bet you that bean counter is really fucking happy.
Well, he's no longer around.
I bet that never seemed a court one either, did it?
No, no, because I think they found all this stuff out afterwards anyhow.
But yeah, I mean, yeah, that guy should have been tried and hung.
That's anyhow, whoever came up with that idea.
So, you know, it had to been someone that said, hey, we can save a couple of bucks if we do this.
You know, it happens all the time.
It's just like, you know, when companies figure out, well, our pharmaceutical is going to kill this many people,
but it's going to make us this much money, this much, this how much we're going to lose in lawsuits.
So, we're going to go ahead and do it because we're going to double our money.
So, you know, it's that kind of a world and even was back then.
Before we go to break, I've been I've been telling everybody I've been having this little segment, right, and about phrases.
OK, you've heard the phrase dead to rights, right?
Yeah.
OK, it's used quite a bit still.
Have you ever wondered where it came from?
Yeah, I have.
OK.
Do you know where it came from or not?
No, I do not.
OK.
The phrase dead to rights is believed to have originated among criminals in New York City.
The word dead has been used from the 16th century with a meaning certainly completely utterly to rights has been used
since the 14th century to mean in a proper manner with everything required detail.
Correct means that they have them dead to rights according to both phrases and what they meant.
So it was different than what I thought.
I thought it was an aim thing.
You know how they say aim dead to right?
It's not a name thing at all.
It came from too certain, you know, means they got them right there, they got them in the corner, they got it covered.
So interesting.
Let's take our first break and then I've got a segment.
Well, we'll go and have you do a segment first, OK?
Then I got a segment that might require a little bit of time that we'll go into.
Does that sound good?
Yeah, mine's going to take a little bit too.
You'll actually need me to jump to something else a little quicker.
OK, let's do that.
OK, well, and then we'll go to mine and then we can do the Kiss albums.
That's not going to take long.
And then we can go to yours.
And then that might be the end of the show.
While we're on break, I'll find a time to quit.
OK, that'll work.
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We offer you first world problems.
That's a hell of a bridge construction.
Shit, I cannot believe I have to repair this bridge after 50 years.
Man, what am I going to do now? I can't like that 10 minutes earlier just to get to work.
This is complete bullshit. I'm going to write my congressman.
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Two Deuce Bags and a microphone on Mark.
And I'm Rob.
Rob, did you find something a little smaller?
Yes, I did.
Okay.
Yes, I did. Yeah, I did.
Ted Nugent recently discussed if a damn Yankees reunion was possible decades after their breakup in an interview with Chuck Schuette.
We'd love to get back together, but we're very proud of the music we created, the singer said, of the band's music in the early 90s.
Killer quality, soulful, energized, tight, authoritative, damn Yankees music. I love those guys.
It's not off the table, he continued, about a reunion, but explained, it's highly unlikely, but it's also highly desirable.
So it would have to be an alignment of the planets, where the four of us, we have just manic schedules, that somehow we could find a, oh, whatever amount of time, 30 days or whatever.
I'd love to do it.
Nugent formed Damn Yankees with Tommy Shaw, Jack Blades of Night Ranger, and Michael Cort Leon, who later joined Lettersgiver in 1989.
I didn't know that. Okay.
That's cool. I thought they were good. I liked them.
Oh yeah, I liked them too. Yeah.
Cool. I mean, that'd be great if they were reunited.
Yeah, they just took all that and mixed it together, you know.
Yeah, and it worked out very well.
Tommy Shaw, Ted Nugent, and then you throw in Night Ranger.
Yeah, and I thought that was an interesting combination, Tommy Shaw and Ted Nugent. I mean, that was interesting, but it worked out well.
I think it worked beautifully, myself.
I did too. I did too.
Okay, we're going to go into this here, but first I want to say something.
Okay, I've had a lot of people email me over the last couple of years, and here lately there have been a few that emailed me that pretty much said the same thing.
They liked the analysis that Topher and I used to do down at the City Market, right?
And we'd have people join in, there'd be all kinds of fans and stuff.
So anyhow, they liked the way that we'd done our sports shows.
So we just did the AFC preview and who we think is going to win what and all that.
So what I'd like to announce here is I've got the first episode that we're doing three hours every Tuesday and Wednesday. I'm breaking them up into two shows, an hour and a half each.
And this is to go over our picks and see who did the best on the picks of that week.
And then also predict the week coming up who we think is going to win.
And this is like we did last year, and Topher feels like doing this, and so do I.
This program right here, Two Douchebags and a Microphone, is going to stay just like it is.
Rob and I are going to keep up our shenanigans and all that.
But we're going to have the sports show once a week that's probably going to be released like Tuesday and Thursday or something like that.
The days that we don't have one of these shows coming out, I will try and release it that day.
So instead of having four shows a week, we're going to have like six shows a week.
So anyhow, we did the first day of C picks. We loved that. I listened to it. I thought it was excellent.
Have you heard it, Rob?
Yeah, yeah, I've listened to all of them.
All right. What did you think? Did you like it?
Yeah, I liked it.
And that's like me and you talked about before we went on air.
I appreciate Topher doing this with you because I don't get that much time for the NFL.
I follow the Chiefs. I follow a couple others. That's about it.
You guys will go a lot deeper than I could.
And I think that it's only going to make this show grow.
Exactly. And I've had enough people interested in a sports show with Topher.
Well, now it's going to happen. And listen, I mean, I appreciate people chiming in and telling me that.
But the whole reason it's happening is because Topher and I feel like doing it.
I mean, you know, it's just another thing that we want to do to bring to people and we want, you know, so.
And we still have our dumbass shit.
Yeah.
So, yeah, it's a win win.
I will try to let everybody know the week before, whether it's going to be Tuesday or Wednesday, we'll be down at the city market about, I don't know, about nine thirty nine forty five.
You want to come by and talk. There we are. You want to talk football. There we are. You want to tell us we suck.
There we are. You want to crack us in the nuts. We'll probably hit you.
So anyhow, here is what I want to go into.
The NFL is looking at starting NFL season on Labor Day weekend.
They might and probably will take away the third preseason game and making it.
Oh, go ahead. And making it a 19 game regular season. So there you go. Go ahead now.
That would be stupid as hell.
That's what I thought at first.
But I'm going to go into some stuff. You got a lot of people party. OK.
Yeah, you got a lot of people party. But you come down here to the lake.
You're going to be partying on water.
You know, football is going to be a laughing stock in your mind. I don't think it would get the credit.
Rob, that's no, I love that. And you might very well be right.
Yeah, yeah, I hear what you're saying.
I thought that at first, too.
But then I got to think about it more as I read this article, but just let me go into it a little bit more.
And it changed my mind when I read a little bit more.
Training camps could start right after the NBA championship in mid-June.
Because if we're going to have a game over Labor Day, the training camps open up the 1st of July.
You move that back a week or 10 days and you're right after the NBA championship.
So, you see, I think I see what they're doing on several levels.
So after the NBA end-to-end, here it comes.
Yeah, here it comes.
To catch your attention.
Yes, and you have baseball over there in the background.
That way we don't have that waiting period.
Uh-huh. Yes. You see?
I kind of see where you're going here.
I just said I don't think the viewership would be that great on Labor Day weekend.
Well, I thought about that.
It might be. It might be.
I thought about that. I thought about that, Rob.
But, okay, will this hurt baseball in smaller markets?
Teams that are poor, aka small markets, that are 12 games back like a Cincinnati or a Kansas City or even a Pittsburgh.
Now, you bring football right after the NBA championship.
You know, I mean, all of a sudden you're taking up more.
Yeah, now in New York, L.A., you know, not Chicago.
But the larger markets, Atlanta, they are going to still be strong because their teams are traditionally good because they have more revenue.
Because baseball, to me, is run like shit.
And they cannot come up with a good salary cap like football did.
So the smaller teams are basically non-competitive most of the time.
So you take these smaller markets like Cincinnati, like Kansas City, like Pittsburgh.
Let me think of another smaller market that has a baseball team.
Anyhow, okay, all of these smaller markets that have baseball teams probably aren't doing that well.
Then all of a sudden their football team comes in like Kansas City.
The Royals are, I don't know, 20 games back.
They're like their usual, not that good because of the logistics and the way the cap and all that is.
Okay, now what do you think is going to happen?
The Royals are still in the battle for, they are in the lead for the final wild card to an half game lead right now, even though they're losing like shit right now.
They look like shit.
And they may lose their way out of the playoffs.
Who knows?
But anyhow, right now, they are in the middle of a playoff hunt.
And whenever the news comes on and the sports section comes on, the Chiefs haven't even played a regular season game yet.
And the Chiefs are number one.
And then they'll go to the Royals.
And sometimes it depends.
If there's female soccer, the current, sometimes they'll take second place.
You know, sometimes the men's league soccer, you know, sporting Kansas City will also take the second spot.
And baseball will take the third spot.
So, and this is Kansas City actually being in a playoff position this year.
They've been doing good.
They got young guys like Whit that are just Whit Jr., Bobby Whit Jr.
That's just knocking the cover off the baseball.
They have some younger pitchers that look good.
And still, they're second bill and sometimes third bill in the sports scene here.
So, I love the idea personally, you know, family camping, get out your phone, grab an old fashioned AM radio.
You know, you grilling?
Your team's playing Sunday night.
There you go.
This is perfect for NFL fans.
You know, once NFL laps everybody, this is the best run league.
I mean, the NFL has lapped everybody again with this idea.
The only downfall is when you have these players playing 18 four-wheel games, what do you think is going to happen, Rob?
Injuries.
Yeah, yeah, the injuries are going to start racking up.
You're going to see a lot more of them.
They already do end of the season now.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, last year, A-Rodge went down, you know, in the second play.
I mean, the second set of plays of the new season.
Yeah.
Okay.
They are already key injuries that just screw people, you know, screw teams out of playoff spots and all that.
Cincinnati, Joey Burrow, you know.
There's other ones too.
There's great examples.
Cleveland got over.
Joey Flacco came in and did really good when Deshaun Watson went out.
But this is going to be more of an unpredictable game because there's going to be more and more injuries.
Let's say we're doing our first game and Chris Jones goes down.
Our whole season isn't going to be the same.
Definitely, if Mahomes goes out, Kelsey goes out, Worthy or Rice goes out, you know what I mean?
Some of these Pacheco going out, all of these are going to add to an unpredictability of the season.
And I'm wondering if that's not some of what they're thinking about right there.
They're like, hey, man, this is going to be more of a toss up instead of the usual suspects.
For years, it was the Patriots.
Now it's the Chiefs.
You see what I'm saying, Rob?
What do you think about that?
I really don't know what to think about it.
Well, at first I had your thought.
I didn't like it.
I agree.
I do not like the same team winning all the time.
Unless the Chiefs.
Well, yeah, no, no, no.
That's what I'm saying.
I used to hate the Patriots.
Yeah, yeah.
You know, yeah, things should be shaken up over now and then.
Just say it.
Yeah.
And then the NFL is run so superior.
The season opener is a standalone Thursday night game.
The Super Bowl winner at home to one of the team's biggest rivals or threats.
It's genius how it works, too.
You have one of the top tier teams, they come home with an 0-1-1 and then the other team, top contending team, gets a head start.
One to nothing.
So automatically your whole season.
Teams that would be playing each other in the playoffs.
Exactly.
And maybe the pecking order is because of that one game.
So if you lost that game and then later on in the season, you're one game behind or tied with that team for the best record, they win because they beat you head on.
So already that's an important game.
You really got to be fussing your caps the rest of the season.
Yeah, it's already that one game at the first of the season could make complications for you that you couldn't overcome later on in the season, which is brilliant.
It's genius.
You know, I mean, once again, the fall classic has been outshined by rival games being played already with playoff implications.
So like, you know, the Super Bowl is going on or not the Super Bowl, the World Series going on.
But more than half the people who would normally be watching it are watching football.
Because the new format that they're doing is they're having more games on different days.
So yeah, right now, it's going to take out baseball in the long run.
I could see that. Yeah, I could, too.
So OK, so the Labor Day weekend, here's the here's the format they're suggesting.
There's going to be a standalone game Friday night, standalone game Saturday night, standalone game Sunday night, standalone game Monday night.
And then you go into Thursday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday.
So you see, they're having all these days covered with different premier football games.
Yeah. You know, and I almost bet they'll be on different streaming services also.
That's the other thing. And I fucking hate. Yeah.
Yeah, it's a big money grab. I know this. I know this.
But you know what? At least the NFL has the product.
Why would I pay for baseball? Watch big markets kick our ass?
No. Right. So but the reason I pay for football is because it's an evener, more even playing field.
So anyhow, I had more to go into.
But you know what? We covered enough on that. I don't want to do this whole program about NFL because we do have a sports show we do twice a week.
So anyhow, I just wanted to bring that up and I'm going to bring it up with Topher on not these two that I'm getting ready to give you.
But next week, I'm going to bring that same talk topic up to Topher with the same story and see what he thinks.
So now he'll feel like I said, I I'm like you might get to catch the cheese game alone in the other game.
You know, oh, yeah. Oh, that's cool.
This is read about. Read about him later.
This will work out well. This will work out well.
Yeah, I think I will. I think I will.
So did you want to go into the Kiss solo albums from 1977 or do you want to do your big 78?
78. Or did you want to do the thank you?
Yeah, no, let's go ahead and get out of the way.
OK. All right. Well, Tulsa King, aka Ron from Tulsa, has sent us another.
Ronnie.
Ronnie. Sorry, Ronnie from Tulsa has sent us another great question.
And in 1978, Kiss was still together, but they all decided to do their own solo album.
And they and then they're going to get back.
You know, they were together the whole time, but they all released their own solo album at the same time on the same day.
Yes. Everybody has their favorite to least favorite and Ronnie from Tulsa King wanted us to, you know,
describe what what when we like the best all the way down to the least and maybe a little description of why.
So, Rob, we're going to start with you.
OK, well, there you know, and I, we we heard them.
Yeah, you know, a lot of people heard these when you were young and when you were first coming into kids,
they were just, you know, these albums were just coming out or just came out and.
Everybody with them wear makeup, everybody was learning the characters and so it was spinning.
And when they came out, there was rumors.
Of why they did this.
And a lot of people, you know, back in the day, a lot of speculation was is that it was because Jean and Paul ran the show.
So they did this to get Peter and Ace to creativity, which comes to find out was correct.
That is why they did these.
So going into this. My last place.
Goes to Peter Chris. OK.
He was already looking at it now, the band.
That's why they did this.
And I just don't think he I don't think he'd give it his best.
I don't. I think he could have done so much better with his creativity and everything.
But I think at this point, he was already fed up, so he really didn't even try, you know.
He just threw some stuff out there and called it good.
My number three is going to Gene Simmons.
You know, he is one of the founders, but he is he is one of the vocalists.
You know, he's like number two vocalist.
But he's a bass player.
And he did his songs, but most of the songs were Paul.
So and I think it showed through these albums.
OK, which brings us to number two.
Paul.
You know, Paul pretty much ran the show, you know, he was the face of kiss.
For the biggest part, he was a main vocalist for years, almost many other songs.
Well, 90 percent will say. Yeah.
Which leads us to number one, Ace.
He's just an amazing guitarist.
And he I think he was at the same point Peter was.
They were both looking to get out of the band or ready.
You know, they're thinking about their options, whatever.
Yeah. And.
But I think any.
Did what he said up there, he showed his creativity and after shortly after he left the band and he put out some amazing stuff.
So it was after that.
There's my bitch.
I love it. Mine's slightly different, but not much.
Number four is Peter Chris.
I have a different take on why his album wasn't as good.
He's a jazz drummer.
Yeah, his heart may not have been in the band as much.
He like different he like swing and big band music.
He didn't really care for rock that much.
He produced an album that very much was dabbling into the big band swing type of music, which it didn't jive with the Kiss fans.
Kiss fans didn't like that type of music, although I do.
And I think you do, too, Rob. Don't you like big band swing music or not?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's great. It's fantastic music.
Three cats are pretty cool. Yeah, yeah. And yeah, there's other ones that are fantastic.
More just three cats. Yeah, the old.
No, no, no. Yeah, I agree. I agree.
So most rock fans were teenagers that never really heard of any other music.
And they clung to Kiss because they have four identical faces, recognizable faces and very interesting Kabuki style makeup faces with all these theatrics and fireworks.
So when Peter Chris put out that kind of a jazzy type of big band swing album, it didn't go over.
The typical Kiss fan thought it was horrible.
Now, someone else like jazz or maybe swing music a little bit more than they might have liked Peter Chris's music if they'd heard it.
So that's number four. And also, I think you're also right.
There's some of him not really wanting to be in the band anymore, too.
So my number three is Paul Stanley. Paul Stanley. Paul Stanley is great.
I love his music, but his his taste and what he done on the solo album did not really catch me as much as it could have.
I think he was still developing his style. He was still figuring out who he was.
It was a good album, but he was still kind of questionable on what type of music he wanted to put out.
And to me, it kind of showed it on the album. It was kind of indecisive to me.
It was good. Yeah, but it could have been much better if he had a little bit more defined of what he was or what kind of musician he wanted to do, what type of music he wanted to do on his own.
I mean, now you hear him and he's like doing Motown stuff. It's kind of a regular band, kind of not.
He'll just show up somewhere and play. So obviously he had different influences, a lot different influences besides, like, let's say, Alice Cooper because of the makeup or whatever.
Or Mata Hoopla or whatever. So his roots, I think, went into Motown and a lot of harmonic stuff.
Nothing wrong with it. Great. But once again, I think it did not parlay with a typical Kiss fan.
My second one was Gene Simmons. Gene Simmons knew what he wanted to produce. He knew what he wanted to put out. And he did it excellent to me.
I mean, Ace Freelies just happened to be better. So he came out with like Radioactive, Burning Up with Fever. He had Donna Summer on there. He had Cher on there.
He had a bunch of cast of people that were on that that contributed to it. The writers. I think he had Desmond Child writing some.
He had some other writers, I can't think. He went all out and he did the album he wanted to and it was very good. It was scary. It was melodic.
It was mellow. It was from the heart. It was good. He did Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star because he always wanted to do it.
He put that put it on that album. I don't know how good it is, but he always wanted to do it and he did it.
And I liked it because that album was an open book as to how he felt musically and I thought he portrayed it excellent. So he's number two.
Number one, Ace Freelie. Ace Freelie is he's raw, has power, is absurd, is acquisitive. I mean, his music is excellent.
He writes great songs. His guitar does such good hooks. I love the way he plays with Paul Stanley, but he could play with Anton Figg on drums.
I forgot some of the guitars he used. I can't even think of it, but I think he even used Tony Carey on keyboards.
So he used a big array of people, too. And he put out a harder rockier album that most of the Kiss fans identified with. And it was really good music.
So to me, Ace Freelie from the cover of New York Groove, which was very interesting to Fractured. Fractured Mirror is one of the best instrumentals I've ever heard in my life.
To speeding back to my baby. I mean, Need a Love. I mean, his album was better than a lot of Kiss albums were to me.
He was just, he still is such a great writer. Even his last album that he put out, 10,000 Volts, is excellent.
He's just a great musician and great writer. Yeah, he's sloppy. I know he's sloppy. I don't care. Jimmy Page was sloppy. Jimmy Hendrix was sloppy.
There are a lot of sloppy guitarists that sound fucking awesome. And I don't care.
Yeah. That's what makes you sound awesome is the thought.
It is, man. I mean, listen to, I tell you about Dizzy Strallon, how much I enjoyed him.
That shows you're human.
Yeah. Sometimes I think the most polis music is the most boring music. You take Dream Theater and put them against Kiss.
And you tell me who was head and tails better. Dream Theater is precise. Everything just laid out perfectly.
Kiss, raw. Rude. Better. Wasp. Yeah, nothing special about them musically. Raw, rude, better.
That's why people don't like voice tracking and backtracking is because they like the raw, rude experience.
So that's my top four ace, Gene, Paul, Peter.
So anyhow, let's take our second break. We're going to come back with your long segment that you want to do. That sound good?
Sounds good.
All right. We'll be right back.
And now, Deep Thoughts with Mark.
Hmm. Let's see. If a worm could talk, would it be argumentive?
I may never know.
Tomorrow morning while grinding your coffee beans for your double mocha latte, remember to not get your genitals caught in the grinder.
It really hurts. Who can afford plastic surgery?
Stay safe, everyone.
Our constant pursuit for a real knee slapper. It's strange insults from an alien. Real hilarity.
May, your five-year-old neighbor have all their violin lessons during all of your hangovers.
The apocalypse just happened. You don't know what to do. You don't know where to go. But we can tell you what you can eat.
On most of these apocalypse series, we tell you what plants you can eat in case of an apocalypse and you have to go out to your yard for food.
Well, this one is going to explain to you the plants you may be aware of to not eat.
Plants that could be toxic usually might have milky white sap, thorns, spines, or fine hairs, or leaves or stems.
Pods with bulbs, beans, or seeds, stems or trunks that have an almond scent, three-leafed foliage growth.
Also be aware of intensely bitter or sappy flavor, foliage reminiscent of dill, parsley, or carrot.
Next up, things overheard in hell.
Joe Buck and Troy Aitman are being all televised in radio games of the NFL this year.
Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to climb Mountain Dew.
As much fun as an electric can opener to the scrotum, two douchebags in a microphone.
Now it's time for pick-up lines from a loser.
If you were a fruit, you would be a fine apple.
Two douchebags in a microphone, huh Mark?
And I am Rob.
Rob, we go to you.
The CIA?
Yeah. That's in the public. I'm not going to get in trouble over this.
No, the CIA.
Okay, you probably said A, I just didn't hear it, and that's why I wanted to make sure. Okay.
In the 1960s, the CIA embarked on a bizarre mission using cats to eavesdrop on important conversations.
Yes, cats.
Okay, can't wait to hear this.
To be fair, it was just one feline before the operation was abandoned, but that doesn't make the idea any less odd.
In a procedure lasting an hour, the CIA surgically implanted a microphone, transmitter, and antenna wire inside the cat, aiming to have it carry out its mission without raising suspicion.
Okay.
However, the project encountered problems, primarily related to the animal's training, or rather than lack of it.
The feline frequently ignored its mission, referring to follow its own instincts instead.
Known as Operation Acoustic Kitty,
the project was finally cancelled in 1967, but not before the CIA had sunk $20 million into discovering what everyone else already knew.
Cats will always do as they please.
Where did you get this at? Go ahead, I'm sorry, but...
I'll give you a website. War History Online.
Oh wow. Anyhow, go ahead. This is cool.
Many may not know that the CIA has a memorial honoring agents who've been lost in the line of duty, located in the agency headquarters in Langley, Virginia.
Each member is represented by a star with one added for every day.
Presently, there are 140 lining the memorial.
Yeah.
So, yeah, they have their own memorial for officers killed in the line of duty, and that's Cool's Hell.
Yeah.
See what we had going down here.
Which, I have an update on that, I don't know if I'm even going to give it.
Okay, next.
The CIA and its agents are certainly no strangers to weird and controversial activities related to torture.
Out of the methods we know about the strangers is arguably the use of popular music.
What's more, it's not just one type of music that's used.
According to a report done out of the darkness, songs by Irish pop group Westlife was used to torture a man at a black site.
Okay.
Another report this time by Human Rights Watch also detailed the use of songs by rappers Eminem and Dr. Gray,
with it having also been reported that music from Red Hot Chili Peppers has also been played.
The loudest music features heavy guitar riffs, which are said to cause distress among those being held captive.
Okay.
That guy's a waste of money too.
Yes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I would say.
Ted Kaczynski, better known as the Unabomber, is one of America's most notorious criminals,
who made homemade explosive devices and mailed them out across the country,
invoking a sense of terror and unease from the 1970s all the way through the 1990s, when he was eventually caught.
Kaczynski was actually involved in a CIA-funded study at Harvard University during his second year at the post-secondary school.
This involved undergraduate students discussing their personal beliefs with other participants and writing an essay.
The writing was then given to an anonymous person, who then belittled them while the participants' physiologically reaction was monitored.
David Kaczynski, the Unabomber's brother, wonders if his involvement as an studymate has influenced some of his crimes.
Mm-hmm. That's interesting.
Good point.
Next, the legendary secret military base known as Area 51 has been a hot topic within the conspiracy theory circles for decades,
but did you know it wasn't officially acknowledged until 2013?
Many believed the base to be America's main site for the analysis and storage of extraterrestrial beings and technology.
To the dismay of many around the world, the official acknowledgement started the site with simply a testing area for secret military aircraft and aerial vehicles.
In 2019, the CIA may have regretted confirming its existence when a group of more than two million people jokingly planned to storm it.
Do you remember that?
Yeah.
That never happened.
Yep.
Next, some believe the CIA hired Saddam Hussein in the 1950s with the goal of appointing him as the president of Iraq.
I think that's true. Yep.
At the time, the United States believed that Iraq's prime minister, never mind, may have been aligned with communist beliefs, and removing him from power would put a stop to that.
The account was collected by United Press International, which interviewed former diplomats, American intelligence officials, and scholars.
Interestingly, the CIA refused to comment.
I'm sure. I remember reading that quite a while ago.
Yeah. Yeah, I did too.
Let me interject one second, then I'll stop.
It's been really interesting how many people the United States were sighted up with that they eventually fight.
You know what I mean?
There's a lot.
Without going into it, there's a lot of other ones that they used to be doing business with and friends, and all of a sudden they find a war to fight against them.
I find it ironic.
So anyhow, go ahead, Rob.
Okay, next.
The CIA has a well-known history with the hallucinogenic substance LSD.
Oh, shit.
That's going to sound horribly.
Same project MKUltra.
Okay.
The agency is also known for its interest in the human mind and for setting out to see if someone could actually be mind controlled.
It merged the two in the 1950s to form a project codenamed Operation Midnight Climax.
To witness its efforts LSD without directly acting illegally, the agency hired female street workers in San Francisco to administer the substance for them.
The women would bring unsuspecting male customers back to safe houses where they'd secretly dispense the substance into the victim before engaging in their activities.
To observe the effects, each location had mirrors that agents could watch through.
Well, what they'd do was like a sting operation.
They took female officers, dressed them up as hookers, to get Johns to take back to the hotel.
Then they'd shoot them up with the LSD and monitor them.
How fucked up.
Real quick, Rob.
You're going to hear in the middle of this I accidentally.
Wow. I accidentally hit the mic while you were talking. It's going to sound like shit when you hear the program.
Just letting you know.
Only for a second though, but I accidentally smacked it really good. I'm sure it's going to go.
But anyhow.
Okay, next.
Okay.
Given the long hours CIA agents work, it's no surprise that the agency headquarters is in Langley, Virginia, contains a Starbucks.
However, it's different than the average franchise.
You'd find anywhere else in the world.
This Starbucks location is streamlined since they're members of the secretive line of work.
The baristas who work there are trained to remember faces instead of needing names.
And they have go through much higher security checks than your average employee.
So that's the big thing about the CIA is keeping the identification secret.
Yeah.
So you know you go to Starbucks, you order, you got to get in your name.
They don't do that there. They actually train their employees to learn the employees.
I can totally believe that, yes.
I think that's cool.
Okay, and finally.
In exchange for information, the CIA has a long list of payment methods that can be used as an alternative to money.
An example of this comes from the Vietnam War when Vietnamese farmers hired by the agency were paid in tools rather than money as items were more of use.
Another notable example occurred during the war in Afghanistan.
With agents offering an Afghan chieftain by agro in exchange for information on Taliban activities in the region.
This was a much safer option than money and weapons as the latter could fail and fall into the wrong hands.
Okay.
So during the Afghan War they would offer by agro as a bargaining tool.
That does, none of that surprises me Rob, none of that.
Because it's Taliban, don't they all have 30 kids or some shit?
Yeah, that's where the Viagra comes in.
They wanted 10 more kids.
They wanted 10 more kids Rob, I don't know.
Damn.
That was an interesting list. Thank you Rob.
The sad thing is that some of them I knew about already.
But the ones that I didn't know about that were even more shocking than the ones I did know about did not surprise me in the least.
They were off the wall.
Yeah, I believe that.
It sounds like something they do.
They spent on all this.
That one was 20 million for a cat.
Yeah, and is it any wonder we're about ready to have a dollar crisis that people don't want to use our currency anymore because we're so far in debt we can never get out of it?
It's shit like that.
Shit like that that makes it.
That makes that happen right there.
And do you think that one party does that? No. Both parties does that.
It's just complete bullshit. They're walking all over us.
So, anyhow, I had a story I was going to go into but I'm going to save it for tomorrow.
And it's interesting because I know you and I have both done this thing.
But now there's a word for it and it wasn't anything you ever discussed. It just happened.
And I'll just leave it right there for tomorrow. Does that sound good?
Yeah.
All right. Hi Grandma Opal. Hi Jimmy. Hi Ricky. Dodge City, Kansas.
Hi Grandma. Hi Jimmy. Hi Ricky. Hope you guys are doing good. Love to hear from you guys.
Yeah. I don't know. I haven't gotten an email from them in quite a while.
And I know if they're still listening they heard the email a while back where I said send me something.
But then again my email's been screwed up too.
So they may have sent something. I just haven't got it or I'll get it in three months.
We'll get it some more time.
All right. We're going to keep saying hi.
Yeah.
Well, we hope you guys are still out there and we hope you're still listening.
We hope Grandma Opal's okay and we hope everyone else is doing well.
Yes.
But even the new guy Ricky didn't even write. So I'm like, well, what the hell?
Did Dodge City, Kansas ban us? I don't know.
I don't know why.
I don't know either.
We've been saying plenty of recognition.
Yeah. We love them. We always say hi. So yeah. Okay. Well anyhow, we'll see.
At least we don't make fun of them like we did Montrose.
No, no. And it's funny because Montrose sent me, I never did get to it, but they sent me an email.
And they were like, you know, how come you never talk about us anymore?
And I said, you know what? We still, you're still on every promo at the very first.
I said on the, on the pledge, the daily pledge, we still encourage people to go there.
But the problem is you don't have a power plant like we promised. I haven't heard back.
Yeah. Yeah. We said the power plant went down. We don't communicate with them.
Yes. I never told us.
Wait a second. No, no, no, no, no.
What?
They got pissy over the auto parts.
Oh yeah. That's right. I've forgotten.
I was having to go through tightwad.
Yeah. Yeah. Yep. Yep. That's right.
And then they did. You found out from one of your friends that the power plant went down. They didn't even tell us.
My friend, Richie, who listens, she, she sent me a, she sent me a video of it. Yeah.
It was imploded. It's gone.
It would have been cool to go watch, man.
Yeah. Yeah. It would have been. I mean, it happened a few years ago too, as a thing and they never did tell us.
So, I mean, I don't know. Should we be mad at them? Maybe? I don't know. Anyhow. Oh well.
No, no, no. Honestly, I got my trust is back on this one.
Okay.
It's been gone for a while and you and I didn't even realize it. That's on us.
You know what? You're right. That is on us.
They got it. They got it.
We got got because we didn't bother to do our research. So, okay. You're right. All right. Montrose, I'm sorry.
Good job, Montrose.
Good job. You got a couple of douchebags good. So, all righty, everybody. Thank you for listening. Good night, assholes.
Good night, assholes.
Oh no. Looks like the show's over, kids. Mark has explosive diarrhea and can't afford a wireless mic.
Fear not, assholes. They'll be back invading your ear holes soon.