And now it's time for...
The Daily Deucebag Pledge.
Here at Two Deucebags in a Microphone, we don't stand behind our journalistic integrity.
Go ahead and assume we got the story wrong. At least we admit it.
Not like all those other guys, we can and will lie if it makes the story better.
Two Deucebags and a Microphone.
We Talk.
Jesus.
And now, Deep Thoughts with Mark.
So, if I have a glass of ice water, and the ice melts into the water, is my water then watered down?
Hm. I may never know.
Our constant pursuit for a real knee-slapper. It's strange insults from an alien. Real hilarity.
I will rescue. But my mom told me to not burn trash.
The Daily Deucebag.
Two Deucebags and a Microphone in an effort to keep everything fresh.
We offer you... first world problems.
Damn it! The City Services website is down again.
I can't believe this. I'm going to have to actually call and talk to someone to pay my damn trash bill.
This is ridiculous.
Two Deucebags and a Microphone on Mark.
And I am Rob.
Hey Rob, how's it going?
Oh, it's going good.
Well, I worked half a day on Saturday for overtime.
And what I make, it was worth it.
That's cool, good.
And then next week is inventory, so it should be an easy week.
Good.
Alright, well I'll put it this way. I'm going to make it an easy week.
There you go. Good.
Well, everything's going pretty decent so far here. I'm trying to think of anything that really stands out.
Nothing I could think of. I didn't really earmark anything. I know some stuff went on, but I can't believe...
I mean there's some stuff going on in the world that Mark's noting, but we can get to that a little bit later.
Yeah, I think at this point everybody is noting right now.
Yeah, but we'll get to that here in a little bit.
I know what you're leading to.
Yeah, we'll get to that here in a little bit. So let's go ahead and just do the first third.
And then we have a really good question after your segment of what you want to talk about.
Then a little bit later in the podcast we can go into that. That sound good?
Yeah, yeah.
Okay. Vicki Cornell, the widow of late frontman Chris Cornell, was robbed in Rome where she was punched in the stomach and a Rolex watch was taken.
It's not a joke.
Oh my God.
Yeah, brutal. Yeah, punched her in the stomach really hard and stole her Rolex. The watch was worth 50,000 euros.
The thief as of yet was not captured. But you know given her and Soundgarden, and they've been at odds with each other over some future songs, Soundgarden as a gesture of peace are offering two new rewarded songs and song titles.
Okay. One of them is Black and Blue, Black and Blue Whole Sun, and Fell on Black and Blue Days.
Oh my God.
Too soon?
Too soon.
Oh boy, I'm going to get haunted by Chris.
This is a woman that got beat.
Look, it's not. Okay, you're right. You're right.
Okay, everybody, you want to send your complaint, you send your complaint mail, send it to me. Rob had nothing to do with it. I'm the asshole that thought this thing up. So I apologize right off the bat. So anyhow, there you go. I got you out of it, Rob. It's me.
Oh, yeah, that's way too early.
Okay. No, actually, I feel bad for her.
You should have at least waited until next week.
You know what? You're right. Everyone forget, forget that.
Okay.
The heat index for Dubai on Tuesday of last week reached a miserable 144 degrees. This is unimaginable.
It's unimaginable. 144.
You ever like touch a stove that is 144 fucking leaves you a little ee, you know, leaves you a little ouch. Yeah.
Satan reportedly has has his lake house up for sale in Dubai suburb.
And it's just too hot for him.
He was overheard to say this place is hotter than hell.
I guess he would know right.
All right. And next.
Are you wondering, man, I wish I knew what the royal family was up to.
Probably not. But just get probably not Rob. But just go along with okay. Go. No, what?
I'm going. I'm going. Okay.
Let's hear it. No. What are they up to, Mark?
No, Mark. What are they up to?
Well, let me tell you.
Well, fret no more. I have your answer, Rob.
King Charles III has bestowed bestowed.
What the fuck was I trying to say? I don't know.
He has bestowed a royal title on a rare goat breed.
Golden Goosney are a rare breed considered at risk.
The UK's rare breeds watch list.
They will now be known as a yes of goats. Yes.
They kind of sound like that only they sound a little bit more stuffy.
Now they go.
So they will be known as the Royal Golden Goosey goat from around the world.
The first goat, the goat that was eventually symbolically crowned
was first mistaken for ex Prince Andrew and was booted out.
Too soon.
No, no, no, no, no. Not on that creep.
Not on that one. Not on that creep.
That creep that he's had a comment for years.
Yes, he has that big sweaty fucking ogre.
But he says he doesn't sweat.
Anyhow, well, it looks as if Trader Joe's popular spice,
everything but the bagel, was recalled from several countries
over its use of poppy seeds that are used.
The poppy seeds are used to make drugs such as heroin.
They said the product on all the shelves will be removed after everyone stops
seeing colors and traffic signs that talk.
Oh wait, that's acid. Sorry, my bad.
I guess as soon as everyone starts... Wrong one.
Wrong one.
Okay, so here, I guess as soon as everybody stops
shitting themselves and write out the DTs, the product will be removed.
Too soon?
No.
Okay, alright.
Not for that, no.
No, not at all.
If you're DTing, you deserve it.
That's right.
I've seen someone on the DTs and it does not look like a lot of fun.
Oh no, no, no, but hey, it's a good time to fuck with them.
Yeah.
I go there and act like I have a vial of heroin.
Hey, guess what I got?
We're the douchebags we are.
Yeah, hey guess what I got here?
What? I got a vial of heroin.
Oh no, it's really water.
Fucking asshole.
Man, anyhow.
Now in the why the fuck category, Rob.
Loyal Trump supporters are wearing ear bandages to show their solidarity.
Okay, they sure showed them.
Great job, Trumpers.
And now for the counterattack.
Biden loyalists are reportedly wearing drool cups in public.
Too soon?
Considering in the light of what happened a little bit ago.
No, no, no, I am not calling that too soon.
The reporters are reportedly screaming at the wall also.
Oh, I believe it.
Yep, I do too.
In a related story, you can now vote for literally anyone else.
That's right.
Some guy changed his name to literally somebody else.
And he is running for President of the United States of America.
So I'm telling literally.
I want to check somebody else out first before I vote for him.
Yes, yes.
I don't think he's going to make it to a debate platform anytime soon.
Yeah, I don't think he will.
Yeah, probably not.
But you know, I'm going to say this, all right, if that doesn't work out,
I hear that John Deere, there's an opening for a new president there.
Too soon?
No.
No, not at all.
No, no, no, no, John Deere has already made ass out of it.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
They're also in the Hall of Fame, agreed?
Yeah, yeah, not too soon.
Was it a bare assed?
I think it was, wasn't it?
Oh, well, it will be next time.
Next time.
You know what?
We should paddle them again.
Yeah, yeah.
OK, we're going to paddle them again.
And that's going to be bare assed.
So for what they've done, yeah, they deserve.
Yeah, I would 100 percent agree.
Let a bunch of Americans down.
Oh, you know what?
They're going to be sorry they did it.
And here's what I equate it to, Rob, getting off the subject for a little bit and getting on this one.
OK, in the 70s, Harley Davidson, America's motorcycle, moved to Canada.
And their sales plummeted.
I remember that.
Yeah, I do, too.
Their sales plummeted to virtually nothing.
And guess what they did, Rob?
They moved back.
That's, in my opinion, my humble opinion, that's what's going to happen to John Deere.
Because I already see all these pages of people, farmers, everybody boycott them, saying this is un-American.
We're never going to even speak their language again.
They're gone.
They're out of here.
And I believe it.
You know, farmers have been going with the green and yellow for years.
Well, I mean, if I was another tractor competitor right now, I would make sure that every one of my plants are in America.
And I would make sure everybody knew it.
Because...
Oh, yeah, there are others.
Yeah, there are.
There's a lot of others.
So anyhow...
How far?
For Vermeer, is it?
Yeah.
Yeah, there's a ton of them.
Yeah, Vermeer, yeah.
Vermeer has a plant in Olathe, I believe.
And then they have other ones around the country.
And then, let's see, what was...
There's a couple other ones.
Oh, well...
There's a bunch of...
A few other big names that are still in America.
Yep.
And I got something for everybody personally here, okay?
If you want to go to the beach and you're afraid of sharks, right?
I would go next week.
And here's why.
Next week is Shark Week on TNT.
So all the sharks will be busy filming.
So there's your answer.
And moving right along.
LL Bean...
What was the one shark in the cartoon?
What was his name?
Oh, um...
Shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh.
Damn it.
Guy's run and tipped my toe.
Same here.
I found that MeTV Tunes...
Yes.
On Friendly TV for $6.99 a month.
Oh, that would be worth getting it.
Yeah.
Damn.
They would have it.
Guy, what was his name?
Remember, he used to go, hee hee.
I mean, he used to do that really kind of...
Yeah, yeah.
The big shark.
Yeah, yeah.
The big dumb shark.
I know what you're talking about.
I can't think of his name.
Oh, well.
Okay.
I'm going to have to get that channel so I can keep a update on that.
Yes.
We need to know.
The old cartoons, I'll be able to watch them.
This is very important here.
I mean, we need to know this.
So, if anyone wants to email us and tell us a name, if you figured it out, please do.
Hello.
The shark.
The old cartoon, he was a shark.
Yeah.
He had the weirdest laugh.
Oh, yeah, well.
LL Bean has found a new trend in old handbags.
The 80-year-old handbags are part of their pre-loved collection that's a hot seller right now.
The old handbags were used to carry ice. The bags were so old they make Joe Biden look young.
Too soon?
No, no, no
That's right, you're right just kidding it would take more than that to make him look young
All right
next
Concord, Massachusetts
Has a rare find on their hands. It's an old musket ball from nearly 250 years ago
That was cool, and this would be from when militiamen lined the hillside in Massachusetts and
Started firing at the British troops this this happened up there, and this is a musket ball directly from that battle
This would mark the first battle in in America's revenue
Revolutionary war this is as far as they can tell the first battle that happened in the
Revolutionary war against England to get our freedom, and this is one of the musket balls that they found from there
So I think it's a pretty cool find don't you
Yeah
If you get a chance look it up. It's an interesting looking piece. It doesn't look like I thought it would
You'll see what I mean
The texture and color looking on it is just completely different than I would have thought so anyhow
So anyhow it you know is of used in the Revolutionary War if it's supposedly the first battle the balls were so old
It probably wants to buy a corvette
Too soon no
So
Rob this leads us to the featured email, and I gave you some time on this because Ronnie
Emailed it to me actually last week, and I found it in the spam box, so Ronnie. I'm sorry when you hear this
That's why you didn't get an answer
Okay, this is Ronnie in Tulsa
Okay cool excellent
Okay
Here's the question if there was one band you could resurrect from retirement or death or any brand of music and
Oh
And this means anything I could still be alive it could be one person and they retired it could be Paul McCartney
When he was younger with the Beatles it can be anything you want if there's one band that you could bring back on any
Level who would it be so Rob go ahead?
Okay, well mine is a certain musician, okay sounds good I
Would want to bring back Randy Rhodes
Oh that is solid Rob that is solid. I would love to hear what that guy would sound like well
I've always been a Randy Rhodes fan okay back in the day when he was with Ozzy
We were young yeah
And then he passed away, and I've watched all the all the music ever since
And I could only imagine what Randy Rhodes would have done
With some modern technology I would love to see that too it
Another thing that
Here's something that's interesting Rob
Randy he brought guitar
Guitarist into what they are I agree
You know
Okay, here is something that Ozzy stated for quite a while now though
And he said that Randy Rhodes wanted to quit being in rock or metal or whatever you want to call it hard rock
And he wanted to go back to classical he wanted to teach classical music
And Ozzy is trying to talk me and go man. We just now made it guy come on hang with me
So it's gonna be interesting to see I don't think he would have been with the band all this time
Okay, let's say that we got all the way up to
But I know he would have made a name for himself
Yeah, I would love to hear another two what he did two or three more albums from him would have been ideal
You know I would love to hear what he would sound like Rob that it. I give you credit
that is one hell of a choice and
Man, it's pretty obvious to I and I didn't even think of a man. He's
Right I put a lot of thought in that I really did that's why I would bring up
Yeah, I could imagine I mean think about it. He brought a
New sound to guitars. Oh gosh without a doubt without a doubt
Imagine if he could have kept going where?
What could be and imagine what he could have learned some of the composite self-taught
He was so I know some of those compositions that he wrote
entwined like classical style music
Only the new style because blackmore used to do it Richie blackmore used to do it on
Like a rainbow songs and some purple songs, but mainly rainbow. He used to do like Bach and Beethoven type of
of symphonies, and he would put different different chord structures together and then put stuff on top of them
But Randy Rhoades took it to a whole nother level. He would actually
He would play it in real time. You know what I mean I I imagine he probably just came in and said alright
What do you need and then Ozzy be like hey?
I want this to do you know and then Randy would just do it where Richie blackmore
wasn't
Fast fast like Randy Rhoades. He was fast, but not like Randy Rhoades
He didn't have that new style of finger tapping and all that stuff
So it would have been interesting to see a little bit different aspect of classical music
Added with hard rock so anyhow I'm man. That's great Rob me however I
chose
Led Zeppelin and
Here's why Rob
Okay, okay, I mentioned coda right coda was a shit album. It's coda is not their fault
Coda was a record company fucking picking their bones. They did not like coda not one of them like coda
They thought it was horrible and they and they were appalled that it was released
This is shit left on the floor that they never wanted ever being published, but they owed
Swan song I think is what they were on at that time
They owed them another album so that's the only thing I could get because zeppelin refused to do any new music
Without John Bonham. They said it's not led Zeppelin anymore
So I have to go by in through the outdoor
In through the outdoor was the last album that they recorded that they wanted to hit airwaves
And let me give you a little rundown of some of the songs on into the outdoor
In the evening
In the rain
Yeah, all of my love and trampled underfoot
Those
Those are some of the best songs they'd ever recorded and they were all on their last real album that they wanted published
That they you know, like I said coda was something that should have never been released
That was a record company being greedy and it shows in the sales. It did not do well and
The songs were they just weren't good and you could tell like it wasn't zeppelin quality
And that's why they did not want it released
So I picked led zeppelin because of everything I just said
I think they were still ascending and I think there's still at least two or three more great albums
They could have done and release that would have been mind-blowing because of the direction they're going into
so I mean they went from like really bluesy to more upscale kind of
Hard edged heavier rock
You know like like trampled underfoot and in the evening
I mean those are just tiny my songs
But then they could go back to fool in the rain and all of my love and which is a more
Acoustical friendly, you know what? I mean is really good and all of my love child. Do you know what that's about?
Robert I don't know what's about but I love the song
Robert Plant had a son that passed away
When he was like seven and that song was about him
and
It is really
I know about I know about his son. I did not know that song was about him
It was a gut-wrenching song. You could feel the emotion. You could feel the hurt
You could feel everything that he was going through and that song is a masterpiece because Robert Plant
That was his song
Um, that was his expression
To what happened and that is beautiful music
Just it's beautiful music if you haven't heard it do yourself a favor and go listen to it
So anyhow, let's go ahead and take our first break rob and then we're going to come back with some of your stuff. That sound good
Okay, I got something really off the wall for you. We love that. All right, we'll be back in a minute
As much fun as an electric can opener to the scrotum two deuce legs and a microphone
Next up things overheard in hell
Joe Buck and Troy Aitman are being all televised in radio games of the mfl this year
Have you ever wondered where something came about and you ever looked at something and said, hey, I wonder what the origin of that is
Well, so have we that's why we give you the origin of
This is the origin of beer
The first beer in the world was brewed by the ancient chinese around the year 7 000 bc
It is known there as kui in the west. However, the process was recognized as beer brewing began in the messipotania
At the god in tempent settlement now in modern-day iran between 3500 and 3100 bc
It's not entirely clear whether he had a light version or even a craft beer version of this
just saying
Somewhere in the heavens your great grammy gertrude is crying because her little b-boy was listening to this film
Oh shit, what's that over there? Oh no, it's island horrible jokes
Uh, and shit time and shit time
And now deep thoughts with mark
Are
Should I
Throw away all my socks then only buy 30 pair of one kind of sock
Will they eventually not match up?
I may never know
Savannah georgia you guys rock. Thank you for listening
I love you guys
And just like that here we are we are two douchebags in microphone and I am mark
And I am rock
Why why we started off like that? I have no idea but we're going to ride
On it. Yeah, you let it off. I'm just following it. Okay. Yeah, I ruined the whole segment. Sorry
Rob, please please bring this uh
No, that's what makes us
Us. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it needed like a little vamping up because I always go
Hey dude, these rags a microphone on mark, you know, so anyhow, maybe next time i'll just like make like loud
What kind of noises I could I make?
Loud screeching noises and then we just go into talking. No, no, no, let's not do that. Oh, okay
Okay. Yeah, you're right. It hurt my ears
You forget i'm working with the ear pods string in my ears
I also have tinnitus and it would not do me any favors. So
Anyhow, I gotta call that place tomorrow
Um the other hearing place and see what I can get to maybe help this because it sucks balls
And anything else so anyhow rob we go to you
Okay
I'm going totally
Totally off the wall here. I can't wait. I didn't know that I actually found interesting
Okay
Uh people have been left baffled
After realizing that hello kitty is is not actually a cat
Hello kitty is not a cat. Well, okay. Okay. All right, but how do they why do they call it? Hello kitty now?
How do they how come they call it? Hello kitty then?
Well
Everybody it looks like a cat everybody but here's what it turns out to be. Okay, this is gonna be interesting
It turns out that the character which is depicted as an
Anthropomorphic white japanese bobtail cat with a yellow nose
And no mouth is actually a british girl
Huh
Okay, go ahead keep talking rob. I gotta look this up I am I am
The surprising news has been confirmed by an official at hello kitty's flagship company
san rio
So there is no debate about the issue
You jill cook the director of retail business development stated yesterday
Hello kitty is not a cat
She's actually a little girl born and raised in the suburbs of wanded
She has a mom and dad
and a twin sister
mimmy
Who is also her best friend?
Unsurprisingly the news has left the hello kitty fanshop
Particularly given her cat-like features
She's a young girl that has has whiskers
Yeah
And it just goes into a bunch of comments from people
Well, they look like whiskers I guess they don't have to be they could be coming well
They look like they're coming from the front of her head
Okay
How weird
I thought her name's even hello kitty
Okay, no she according to somebody that works for the company she is not a cat she's a british girl
from the suburbs of london
Okay
All right
No, no, I always it's on the u.s. Sun
Check it out. Okay
Well rob you got me on that one. I would have never guessed that all right
I think I just got everybody on that one
Yeah, that was out of myself. That was completely out of left field completely
So oh real quick on a programming note. I am going to add
some more of these bits and skits I have some new ones and I'm going to start freshening up the old ones like I'm talking about and
Anyhow, it's gonna take some time. But every one of the ones that I have are going to be revamped and then
There's going to be new ones too. Like more deep thoughts more
Things to eat during an apocalypse and also that's going to turn into things to help you during an apocalypse
So it's not just going to be stuff you can eat. It's like how you can make a homemade tent
You know how how I think how you make homemade bug repellent, but I think we already did
I think we covered that one already. So, you know, we covered how to open up a can of beans that you find lying around
There is more things that i'm going to go into like making traps for animals and stuff like that
And I think that's going to turn into a really good segment
So it's going to be things that you can do to survive a
Apl-ap-ap-apocalypse if I can say it
So I think it's going to be a really good segment that it's turning into
I like the first creation of it, but I think i'm going to like this better
so
Anyhow, I have a list of the top 10 worst foods in the world rob. Do you want to hear them?
Yeah, I do. Okay, the number one this is
We'll see if I agree. Okay, this uh was
voted on
by I think it was a panel of 80,000 people or something like that it said and they voted
Yeah, 80,000 or something like that. And uh, anyhow, here's what it was
They gave you a list of like, I don't know
a hundred horrible foods or what we consider be horrible foods like maybe blood sausage or you know what I mean
um, yeah
Okay, so here's the number one that was voted by by this panel of people. Okay. Number one is gamutra from india
Gamutra is cow urine from india and it is fermented and smashed bugs and feces
And is used for therapeutic purposes
I think I kind of agree with that
Okay, I can see why it's number one
There's some other ones maybe I I don't know they could have taken number one. Oh my god. Yeah
My stomach turned on that literally dude. Yes
Um, and anyhow they and another thing that's kind of a telltale is this right here rob
They don't eat it because it tastes good. They eat it because they think it's therapeutic
You know, it's kind of like we we uh take nyquil not because we think it tastes great
But but because it's going to help us supposedly, right?
Yeah, same thing same thing or that stuff for a colonoscopy that tastes so fucking horrible
I could still taste how bad that shit. Oh
Oh, I can still taste that shit today and my colonoscopy was about a year ago right now my last one. Okay
tisungul
ancient south korea
It is a traditional korean medicine. It's made from dung from a four to seven year old child
Refrigerated for three to four days mixed with water divided into smaller pieces and fermented overnight
I think that may be sicker than number one
And again, they're not eating this stuff because they think it tastes good
They are eating it because they think that it's some sort of a medicine
But I can't I have no control over how they voted on here
I don't know why they put the medicine in there, but I guess because people eat it
So number two is a horrible one, too
Number three number three is baby mice wine from china
12 abbey mice are drowned in rice wine
The the brew was matured for at least a year before drinking this is used as a health tonic
So they take baby mice
And they put it in rice wine. They drown them in rice wine and then it's matured for at least a year
And they drink it
Now i've seen this done before this was on faces of death three or something like that
So rob, did you watch all the faces of death like all the rest of us hoodlums?
Oh, you better believe I did I actually
I laughed at a lot of me too now this one right here. I remember because it really made me cringe
Monkey brain from china
Yes, yes, yes
Yes, I remember that one diners in china when order monkey brains true
Yep, it's true. Yeah
They have they bring the way they have the way to bring the monkey's head
But when they order the monkey brains, they have the way to bring the monkey's head
But what they're not telling here is it's with the rest of the body and the monkey is alive
They hit that they hit the head until it cracks open then they grab the brains out and they eat them
They eat the brains out of the open skull and many times a monkey is still alive
So, um to me that takes number one but yeah
whatever
Uh number five is also from china is called virgin boy eggs
young boys urine is collected in schools and markets from the cities and
That they have buckets placed there by street vendors
Eggs are boiled in urine until hard then the eggs are cracked and continue to boil for seven hours to let the urine soak in
to the egg
This delicatessen has been around thousands of years
I
Rob any comments? Yeah. Yeah
I cannot comment man. Um
I just ate dinner a while ago. Rarely am I speechless all this is turning my stomach. Yeah
Rarely and I had some really good sloppy joe a little bit ago and it's starting to turn a little bit and I already
Read this shit
So oh dude, you had slot. Yeah, see I
I took burgers on the grill. Oh, that sounds good. We're tying the same boat there
Yeah
Brain. Yeah, no wonder our stomachs are turning. Oh, yeah, and then young boy urine and let's see what it was the other one cow urine
Well, let's keep going. Okay. Okay
Um, let's see. Uh, next one is kasoomasuro
Or it's probably marsuo
marzuzu
kasoomarzu
From sardinia italy a block of
Poccarona cheese is cut open and left outside to attract cheese flies
That lay up to 500 eggs in it the maggot cheese as it's known on menus have to wear eye protection
Because of jumping maggots when they eat it
The cheese has a very pungent smell and it burns your tongue
The european union has banned the cheese thank god, but people still do it in certain areas of italy
Yeah
No comment on that either
Okay, number seven. I know I know this is no bullshit
I guarantee it I can tell by the way you read it. This is actual
I encourage you to look it up. If you don't believe it all this is true
And this I can tell by yeah, oh dude. This is a panel. Good. This is good
This is a panel about 80 000 people from all over the world
I understand from what it is and it's some online magazine and I you know what?
I'll say and none of us have ever heard of this stuff, but it's the worst stuff you've ever heard of
Yeah, I can't believe i've never heard of this horrible stuff
Um, okay. The next one number seven is kvajic. I've heard of kvajic before and it's from greenland a freshly disemboweled
I've heard it before because a friend of mine was uh from green greenland and he used to always talk about uh,
I'll bring you some kvajic kvajic. I think I think he called it kvajic
Uh, a freshly disemboweled seal is stuffed with up to 500 small arctic birds called little awk or alley awk
So it is sewn shut and sealed with seal fat to prevent flies from getting in the birds ferment in the seal carcass
The birds are picked out after fermentation and eaten
Did you get that whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa?
You you take a seal carcass and stuff it full of birds seal it. Yeah, they ferment
Yes, and then pull the birds out eat them. Yes
Oh
again
No comment. I don't know what the
Okay
Number eight is I I want I know honestly, I love this. I love this segment
I do too. I fell out of shit. I never knew and it's gross, but I love it
I found this on the internet and I was like and all of a sudden it was like, you know
How you get trapped in a spider hole on the internet and you start looking up and then uh,
And I forgot what made me look at this
It says something like a list of bad foods and then I found another list and then I found this list
And I was like this is a list right here
Yeah
Okay, sir stroman
Is uh from north sweden?
Baltic sea herring
Are caught just before spawning in the black waters or the baltic sea
it is fermented in a cam is um
And i'm not sure what a cam is over there cam and is one of the worst smelling foods ever
I I don't know what a cam is. I think a cam might be a canister of some sort
Yeah, so it's hit
Sea herring, yes, and it's basically
They can and fermented. Yeah, it's liquefied. It sits in that can
Um, but a cam is like a bigger can I do believe and um
And it and it's in there until it's liquefied and then these um
Uh, then these people eat them
So so it's like it's like their
their version of tuna
Yeah, and you notice all these foods are fermented so it doesn't kill them
Yeah, but tuna
Yeah, it no that that'd be some nasty stuff they get up there
Yeah
Number nine is balut. Oh, can we have what?
No, no, go ahead move on please. Okay
Number nine is balut the Philippines the developing embryo of a bird usually a duck. Sorry rob
Sorry, no offense to your uh
No offense to your kin. Okay, a duck is commonly incubated for 14 to 21 days
Then boiled inside and served from the shell
Balut is common food sold from vendors in the street markets in the Philippines
Um to me that doesn't sound quite as bad as the others, but it's still bad
And then number 10 this could have been number four or three or two easily
Number 10 is frog juice and is from peru
And we have we have a hit from peru one person in peru has listened. So thank you peruvian
Frog juice from peru. This is essentially a frog smoothie
Oh, yeah, and that is number 10
So rob that that takes you back to biology class. Yes, it does
It's time for a second break. Then we're gonna come back with some of your stuff. That sound good rob
All right, I got one. All righty. We'll be right back
Now it's time for pick up lines from a loser if you were a vegetable you would be a cucumber
You
Your mom is so ugly her portraits of hanging themselves
Our constant pursuit for a real knee slapper
It's strange insults from an alien
real hilarity
May your five-year-old neighbor have all their violin lessons during all of your hangovers. Oh shit
What's that over there?
Oh, no, it's island of horrible jokes
I asked my date to meet me at the gym
She didn't show up
I guess we're not gonna work out. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes
Hey there fuckstick
You're just in time for brand new feature news. Nobody gives a shit about a jot benizman
Has grown a 63 leaf clover
Speaking ofillon Goodry and me
It's because we started running in the first era with luxury
We have 402 left after six years and we got the Dlik address
And then our
journey was a half distance
Enough to run with the Identity
Dlik address
It would take me more than five minutes
to get here
Tomorrow morning while grinding your coffee beans for your double mocha latte remember to not get your genitals caught in the grinder
It really hurts
Who can afford plastic surgery?
Stay safe everyone
And now deep thoughts with Mark
Should I record frog sounds in the summer then play them when it's zero degrees on my ring doorbell for the Amazon guy?
Yeah, that sounds like fun
Oh
Microphone I'm lovable mark
And I am lovable Rob Brad
This is all true
Do you do before we go into your segment do you want to address some of the stuff that just happened a little bit ago?
Which part okay, well Joe Biden stepped down and
The overwhelming
Favor favorite for the nominee would be his vice president
Kamala Harris
Yes
so
Here is what I think happened Biden was so defiant remember, and this is all we're gonna go into this because we do not do
Politics but Biden wasn't gonna get nominated anyhow, and that's how come he stepped down after a long meeting
Because the parties don't have to them they do not have to nominate if they don't think you're fit for office in one way or
Another they don't have to they don't have to nominate you
Just because you want every primary and overwhelmingly and all that stuff does not mean anything
So on him it would take a Democratic Party and the Republican Party on Trump would have to nominate him which they already did
Now these parties can deny you and I'm pretty sure what they did is they played hardball with him because he wasn't willing to step down
They went in there and said well
We can just go ahead and nominate someone behind your back and then when we get to the
Democratic National Convention, you're gonna look like a pile of shit and
You either do it like that or you act like you wanted to step down. I'm pretty sure he said you know what?
Let's do plan B. I will act like I step down, but I guarantee you I do not think he wanted to step down to you
Okay, well
Okay, can I throw something out there?
Absolutely
He
Before all this
He mentioned that the only thing that would take him out would be something medical
Uh-huh
And then just hours later
Hours like that same day
He got diagnosed with
COVID-19
Wow
Rob check it out. Yeah, no, I know he had the cove it. Yeah. Yeah
earlier that day he said the only thing that will take him out will be a
medical issue
Okay, and now look he gets
COVID-19 he's been held up in
Where was it?
Delaware. Yeah. Yeah, that's where that's where his home is his state. Yeah
Good observation Rob, so everybody can take that however they want. I threw my two cents in Rob has a very interesting point of view
That's really valid too. So
Anyhow, that's it. So Rob, let's go ahead and go to your story
Okay
Oh
Hang on hang on hang on
Yes, hang on. Well, we're talking about politics really quick. I've got a tagline if Kamala runs for Trump
Now remember Trump beat Hillary in the last election
He could go
Kamala Harris, this is not gonna be the first it's not gonna be the first woman he beat
No
Too soon too soon. All right, Rob, we go to you. Sorry about the interruption
You know, sometimes something sounds really good in your head, right?
Hey
Let him get out with other legal problems
Yes
Okay, I'm sorry for grinding this fucking this train wreck even down further. I apologize Rob
Please please please take over
Hey, I'm having a good time with it myself
No, me too. Yeah
We're trying to touch on something we never really don't touch on
Well, I mean it's such
We're still trying to laugh about it
It's historic you rarely get presidents to step down after their first term, you know Truman came into it
Right, right
But anyhow, you know what
What I read, I think the last one was like in the 1880s
I forget it
No, I think Truman didn't run Truman Truman did not run again. He could have ran again because he stepped in for
Was it Roosevelt when he died?
Hey, I can't remember. It was something like that
Anyhow, so Rob, let's go ahead
It's all right, okay
All right
You have me squirreled there I was looking for something else, okay
No one puts Britney Spears in a corner. We know this
The singer was mentioned in a recent episode of the Osborne's podcast
And when Ozzy Osbourne said he was fed up with seeing poor old Britney Spears dancing on social media
You know it's sad legendary rockers said very very sad
His family wife Sharon and adult children Kelly and Jack Osborne agreed
Spears who frequently post videos of herself dancing on social media got wind of it and posted a lengthy note
She stated her post referencing Kate Beckinsale's 2001 movie Serenadeputy
And know that incredibly cruel people were talking about Beckinsale needs more age-appropriate content
Spears then pushed back on the Osborne's complaints
She said she hardly ever dances and replied to Sharon Osborne calling her a poor little thing by writing I'm not poor at all
I taught dance class last week to a couple of teenagers
A lot of kids were too thin and some were too big she wrote
I know what it's like to be judging or to be judged so it's a ridiculous and stupid subject initially
But I think it's important to help each other and invite each other to places that help our souls to grow
As for the Osborne's whom she referred to as the most boring family known to mankind
Spears entered her note telling them to kindly fuck off
No I have not but evidently Brittany Spears took offense
Why is my name coming out of your mouth?
Right?
Right
I'm just using it as an example
But you want to know that something that's sad
Okay you know I love Ozzy right? He's always been one of my favorite performers
But this is really sad okay?
I saw a video of him trying to walk out to his mailbox
This is a recent video about a week ago
It's not good
It is not good Rob
I don't know if it's a combination between his back problems and Parkinson's or what
But he looks horrible
So anyhow that's all I got to say about that because this hurts me
Because I really admire the guy I've always loved him
And I don't know he just does not look right
And I don't think he is
So anyhow but we wish him the best
We love Ozzy here and we wish him the best
And we hope he does
But I've seen people look like that before
And I have my opinion of what stage he might be in
So anyhow
Alright Rob have you ever heard
Oh wait a minute no no no hang on
We were being on kind of depressing stuff and all that right
And then fighting between stars
Do you hear that Rob?
Do you hear that?
That's angels and trumpets again
You know why?
Ok why?
Alright
Back in June Wendy's announced the launch of a new seasonal frosty flavor
It's beloved Icy Treat
It's limited edition is going to be Triple Berry
Wendy's held it the newest edition as the biggest and juiciest flavor to join Wendy's iconic frosty lineup
The Triple Berry Frosty combines three of the freshest fruit flavors of the season
Including strawberries, blackberries and raspberries
It also touts a vibrant purple hue that will transport your senses to a cool summer vacay
With a smooth and creamy texture Wendy's added in a press release
We've seen frosty fandom continue to grow with each flavor we roll out
The Triple Berry Frosty is sure to deliver
Lindsay Rakowski, US CMO of Wendy's company said in a press release
Since 1969 Wendy's been famous for our frosty
We can't wait for this to be a regular menu item in a staple
So I think it's going to stay around
And they also said for National Ice Cream Day that they're going to have three new frosty flavors available
But only for that day
And I forgot I think National Ice Cream Day is coming up this week
So alright
Rob we turn to you
Alright
This is a story I've been following out of Missouri here
Okay
A woman whose murder conviction was overturned after she served 43 years of a life sentence was released Friday
Wow
Despite attempts in the last month by Missouri Eternity General to keep her behind bars
Uh huh
Yeah she's done what it is
This woman has done 43 years in prison on a life sentence
And come to find out she was innocent
Wow how the fuck does that happen
Okay
Sandral Ham, Hemi, 64 left a prison in Chillicothe hours after a judge threatened to hold the Attorney General's office
In contempt if they continued to fight against her release
She reunited with her family at a nearby park where she hugged her sister, daughter and granddaughter
Why was the
Why were they fighting so hard to keep her in jail? I don't understand that if she was innocent
Uh well
I can believe she was innocent
Hemi had been the longest held wrongly incarcerated woman known in the US according to her legal team at the Innocence Project
The judge originally ruled on June 14th that Hemi's attorneys had established clear and convincing evidence of actual innocence
And he overturned her conviction
But Republican Attorney General Andrew Bailey fought her release in the courts
Wow okay and so some of these political ads that I've been seeing lately on the local channels mention I guess it was this case
Okay
Well yeah he
To make a long story I could read this whole thing but I'm not gonna do it
No go ahead and just give us
No he uh he's been holding it up to keep her imprisoned so he could appeal it but he's out of appeals
But this is where I'm at on this Bailey we gotta go into the politics again here
Okay
I did not save it but I read a story a while ago about this same Bailey being too easy on somebody
A career criminal that he kept giving like probation and stuff to
They keep uh they've been referring to that on a lot of commercials of his opponent
Yeah so Bailey's all over the map he's either too hard or too easy
Well I'm definitely voting so I'm gonna keep a little tab on him
Yeah I'm not voting for him but no this woman finally got released
Wow
After serving 43 years for a murder she did not commit
That is just so much bullshit I mean I don't care how much money she gets for being wrongfully convicted
You will never get those years back
I think I read a story that they will give her a hundred dollars a day for every day she served
Not enough
No but no but you know that's
Well you know what okay
She's been making the rest of her life I mean she's so well
Yeah they need to pay her something yes and it needs to be a very attractive amount yes
But I'm thinking probably like 30 million
I mean we're even after that where's she gonna go get a job at the age of 64
No no and here's what I say here
Had you been in prison 43 years for a murder
Yeah you didn't commit it but still there
I think it should be 10 million for every 10 years you serve that's wrongfully convicted in my opinion
And the reason is because when she got out at 64 I want her to know that her great great great grandkids are gonna be taken care of
Because the system fucked her so hard
That's the way I feel about that
So but I mean I understand other people
I've read into some of the reports and what it was is she was kind of mentally ill and out of it and
Oh did she really do it then
No she did not
She ended up telling them what they wanted to hear
And that happens a lot I've read a lot of stories like that
While she was in a mental home
You see if they're mentally ill like that you can talk them into stuff because they don't have that capability of defending themselves
And going wait a minute I didn't do it
It's essentially like talking to a child like a three year old child
I'm not comparing their intellect or nothing like that
But a three year old child you walk up and go hey you burned down that house didn't you
No no yeah you burned down that house didn't you
No no it was you you burned down yeah yeah I did
Mentally ill or the same way
Yeah
From what I've heard she ended up telling like four different stories
And the prosecuting attorney ran with the story they wanted to hear
Man wow
There was one guy she reported that there was no video footage no nothing so they couldn't prove it
And what I'm was she was yeah I did it
Oh hey Rob Rob I got one for you
Yeah
Did you do you like the new promo of you doing the booty clap and twerking
Have you heard that
Yeah I heard about it yeah yeah yeah
Just wondering your thoughts on it I didn't ask you I've had it
It kind of caught me off guard but yeah I'd go with it
Okay alright
Do I need to make the video
Yes yes you do booty clapping booty clapping and twerking
I'll make the video
Alright over the past several years there's been an uptick in what some designers begrudgingly called a dirty kitchen
And more lovingly referred to it as the back kitchen
Essentially a working kitchen behind the primary space that functions as another kitchen prep and clean up area
So you get it it's really two it's two kitchens
It's a kitchen that looks like June Cleaver just went over with a rag
And then there's a kitchen that the actual shit gets made in
The one that the actual shit gets made in that has closed doors is the dirty room that's where they're like
So it could be like let's see dirty dishes cans piled up
You know baking stuff can pile up that's going to be like the main cooking zone
And then you know the kitchen that people see and probably connected to their dining room would be the clean kitchen
So dirty kitchens are becoming a big thing in houses people are making them
That you know so you come in one house there's another sink and there's an island and all that you know all that stuff
The microwave up you know near the cabinets all that beautiful stuff and then in back is another one that they actually use
Too much or not what do you think Rob?
Nah not too much
If you can afford it it's a great idea
You know it's like everything out there is pristine and beautiful back there is where the work gets done
It's really no different than a restaurant really
Because restaurants have that sub kitchen a lot of them that you know all the hot plates are put on
And then the waitresses come and get them when the order is fulfilled or whatever right
That's kind of like a sub kitchen that's clean and the one behind is one that's like dirty
Because they're constantly you know making stuff so that might have been even where they got the idea
But anyhow Rob you got something?
Yeah I got one here just for you my friend
Oh it must be from American Songwriter
Yes it is
Rob I'm getting weepy
Go ahead
It's seven underrated classic rock bands of all time
They keep putting out these underrated lists but they put different ones on them
This one has like two or three of the same but there's others that are different that we have not heard
Okay hang on Rob I just remembered something
Ronnie from Tulsa also sent me one for the next podcast which will be Tuesday night
The top seven drummers ever
Huh?
Top seven drummers ever
Your list my list that's what he wants and he'll have his list available too
And we got to have this Tuesday okay
Yeah oh and the band he wanted to reincarnate or bring back to life half of them and all that was The Beatles
Which I can understand so
Okay
I can respect that
Yeah I respect that one too
Yep
And thank you Ronnie you're keeping us on our toes
I know he comes up with he knows us so well
Seven best drummers ever
Yeah he's very flattering I mean he knows us so well he asks these questions that we didn't think about asking ourselves you know
So anyhow go ahead go with your list it's the top seven is it?
No it's not top seven it's just they're just mentioning seven underrated classic rock bands of all time
Okay
The first one traffic
Oh
When it came to yeah
Yeah was it like Steve Wimblede?
When it came to experimenting with different instruments not typically seen in rock bands traffic was leading the charge
These English musicians lean towards the psychedelic through the use of instruments like harpsichords, sitars, brass instruments and even the fascinating melotron
It was Steve Wimblede okay anyhow go ahead
Yeah yeah yeah Steve Wimblede yes you're right
Next
Squeeze
Tempted by the fruit of another
Squeeze became popular in the 1970s when new waves started taking off. Glenn Kilbrick and Chris Difford were stellar songwriters that made the band what it was and luckily for fans they're still touring today
Cool
Yeah it's got the section that I could click go buy tickets to see Squeeze
Cool
2024
I didn't like him that much to be in with
No no no I mean this is their opinion I'm saying cool but I would not have put them on there but anyhow whatever it's cool
Okay and next the animals
I could see that because they had unique sound for the time and it really kind of drove music in another direction so anyhow
A notable band that was part of the British invasion the animals were picking the interest of American listeners before the Beatles were even a thing. The British band was notably influenced by American music specifically R&B however they injected a dark and mysterious vibe into their music that made them stand out from the rest
Okay yeah I could see that
I see that I see that like I said this was one of the ones that okay I agree with it
Okay and next you and I have always agreed on
Okay
April 1
Yes oh my god I'm glad okay that brings validity to this list right there
Yes
They know what they're talking about
Canadian rock outlet made incredible music in the 70s but were often overshadowed by bigger names like Russian Edel Smith. Okay. Classic rock bands that haven't heard of this stellar underrated outfit. We recommend listening to any of their 20 plus albums.
Cool
They got over 20 albums dude
I had no idea they had over 20 albums
Wow
Okay cool
And that's one you and I have always agreed on
Yeah we've always
Here's another one I know you will agree with
Okay
Sam Lindsay
Yes that's almost as good as April Wine
Yeah
Finn Leslie's The Boys Are Back in Town is a legendary song that has been used or perhaps overused at this point in film and television for decades. However their discography has a ton of similar jams that haven't gotten enough attention. Bad reputation and jailbreak are essential listening.
Okay
Finn Lizzie is a great
Definitely jailbreak
I like Cowboy. Cowboy is a great song. I think that was really underrated
All right
Jailbreak, Boys Are Back in Town, all of them
Yeah
I can't argue with that. I've always thought that Finn Lizzie could have been much bigger
The one thing is I think that they could have came out with more albums maybe and could have been bigger but anyhow go ahead
Okay next, Big Star
What?
Big Star's career was short and sweet and each of the three albums has a ton of listening power today
I'm going to have to look them up
Local harmonies were unmatched at the time and their jammy guitar riffs were a delight. You can hear the influence in bands like The Replacements
Okay
I'm going to have to look them up
Let's see, some of their biggest songs, one of them is named 13, one is named In the Street, When My Baby's Beside Me, Kangaroo, The Ballad of El Guto, I'm in Love with a Girl, I know that one
Okay, okay
Give Me Another Chance, I know that one too, and Night Time, I don't know that one
Okay, if they say so sure, go ahead, because they show validity with their picks, some of their picks I agree with 100%
So anyhow go ahead
Okay and finally for this one, The Kinks
Yes, yes
Some might argue that The Kinks are not underrated, however we don't think they've gotten enough recognition for their contributions to early rock history
You Really Got Me was a stellar hit and one of the very first recorded songs to make use of guitar distortion, tons of bands in the decades that followed that cited them as inspirations and influences from The Ramones to Oasis to The Clash
Wow, yep, yep, you know what, this is a great list, American songwriter has broadened on this one, The Kinks should have been much bigger, I agree
I mean but all you really hear is like Lola and what's the other one, I forgot, there's only two songs that really play on the radio
Right, but there's others that if you're a fan you would know
I think it was Ray Davies right, was their guitarist, and I knew that he had a lot to do with the distortion, do what?
Yeah, he is known, what is, I forget, something with the distortion, he was known for starting it
Oh, yeah, yeah, we mentioned it here a while back, I forget what it was
Yeah, I think he developed it in his basement maybe or something like that, okay let me look at Ray Davies
Had it caught on
Yes
And made guitar sounds what it is today
Okay, here it goes, how Dave Davies slashed amp created rock distortion, this is interesting
Okay, alright, they show a picture of him there, okay
When it comes to breakout singles they don't get much better than You Really Got Me, oh that was another one that they did
The 1964 track just put the Kinks on the map, it changed the rock and roll landscape in the incitonary guitar tone
You Really Got Me brought distorted guitar to the masses, it's the geniuses of all the things hard and heavy in rock
And as legend goes, it was an act of aggression from Kinks guitarist Dave Davies that created the sound and started an amplifier revolution in the process
Today we're revisiting the
Yeah, it was Dave Davies that I was thinking of
Okay, yeah, Ray Davies, well they're brothers, but yeah
Okay, yeah, yeah
Anyhow, that's pretty cool dude, is that it or is there more?
No, that was it, there was only seven
I agree with that list 100%
Yep
You wanna keep going or you wanna call this bitch good and tie a bow on it?
Actually I'm getting a little tired and my bum's a little run a little low on juice
Alright brother, thank you for joining me again
And we will speak again Tuesday night
Hi Grandma Opal, hi Ricky, hi Jimmy
Thank you, hi Grandma Opal, hi Ricky, hi Jimmy, Dodge City, Kansas, you guys were?
Jimmy and Ricky, Jimmy and Ricky
Oh shit, did I say that? Okay
Yeah, we did
Grandma Opal, Jimmy and Ricky
At least we get Grandma right
Yes we do
And we're stuck with Ricky because of my big mouth, no offense Ricky
But now we gotta say two people every podcast instead of one
Yeah
Eddie out, thank you guys, and Eddie out, thank you Rob, I will talk to you Tuesday night
Sounds good my friend
Alright brother, I will talk to you then, everybody have a good night, good night assholes
Good night assholes
Oh no, looks like the show's over kids, Mark has explosive diarrhea and can't afford a wireless mic
You're not assholes, they'll be back invading your ear holes soon