And now it's time for...
The Daily Deucebag Pledge.
Here at Two Deucebags in a Microphone, we don't stand behind our journalistic integrity.
Go ahead and assume we got the story wrong. At least we admit it.
Not like all those other guys, we can and will lie if it makes the story better.
Two Deucebags and a Microphone.
We Talk.
Jesus.
Our constant pursuit for a real knee-slapper. It's strange insults from an alien. Real hilarity.
Your proof. The Jain Pool made lifeguards.
The Evapolips just happened. You don't know what to do. You don't know where to go. But we can tell you what you can eat.
Okay, it's post-apocalypse and you're walking down the barren wasteland that used to be a city.
You find an old can of beans lying in the middle of the road, but you do not have a can opener.
What you do then is you find a patch of concrete, you rub the top of the can for five minutes.
Then you go to the middle of the can and squeeze it and it should pop right open.
And now, Deep Thoughts with Mark.
Man, I sure wish I was the garbage man. You know what I could do if I was the garbage man?
I could go to the wrong parts of town on the wrong days periodically in the morning.
And then watch everybody run out of their house in their underwear with two bags of trash screaming, stop, halt.
Yeah, that's what I'd love to do.
Two douchebags and a microphone. I'm Mark.
And I am Rob.
Rob, where are you?
Technically BFE.
I am in an undisclosed location right now on the air in a tent camping.
Isn't that cool?
Yeah. All I'm going to say is that we're somewhere out around Owensville, Missouri.
Okay.
And we're, it's like seven, 10 miles from Owensville.
Okay.
And we just ran town walls on that's where we went.
Okay. So you're in BFE.
Yeah, we went down on the river today. I came with my friend on her family reunion.
On what river?
This family has taken me in as like I'm one of them. You know, they're like my family. If anybody comes to our family reunions, everybody's welcome.
That's awesome.
And I'm having a great time and I needed to get away.
I know you did.
I should work and go home and talk to you.
I know you were in desperate need of this. I'm glad that you're doing it.
I'm getting some relaxation, man. I was sitting in, I sat in my chair in the river wall earlier.
What river is it?
And I was deep enough, my midsection was submerged and I just let my feet float up like a recliner.
And I just sat there, oh my God, and it's a cold spring.
Do you know what river it is?
Oh God.
Do you know what river?
Wow. And if...
Huh?
Do you know what river it is?
I'm trying to remember. I'll tell you tomorrow night.
Okay. Okay. That's fine.
It's not a name I'm used to and I keep predicting. So I'll look it up. I'll look it up.
Yeah, it's not right.
I'll have that for you tomorrow night.
Okay. All right.
I will be home tomorrow night.
Okay. All right. Well, I got some emails later on if we can get into them, but I'm going to start off here.
Sounds good. Sounds good.
The world's oldest bottle of wine was recently discovered in an ancient Roman burial site in southern Spain.
According to a study...
All right.
Yeah. Yeah. It was in Spain, not Rome.
According to a study published this week, the wine remains in a glass funeral urn inside an ancient mausoleum untouched for around 2,000 years in the town of Carmona.
Reportedly, the wine still smelled like feet, Rob.
Oh, damn.
Yeah. Yeah. Yep. Just can't get that foot smell out of them, can you?
I'll tell you what, you know, they did not have very good bathing practice back then.
Oh, no. That's what they used.
Yeah, the wine back there would have a funk, don't you think?
Oh, probably. I would bet. And also, you know, they used that patchouli oil because it was so god-awful strong, it would hide all the other odor.
You know what I'm talking about, the patchouli oil?
Yep. Yeah, I do.
Yeah. Yep. So anyhow, that's why they wore so much of it is because it would literally mask three years of body odor or whatever.
Okay. Well, anyhow, going along, I was listening to Ozzie and family's basement tapes, and I'm still giggling over this, Rob.
Now, there have been rumors. There have been rumors about things like this happening in concert venues for a long time.
But Sharon kind of confirmed it. Sharon said after Slipknot's performance at an Ozfest that there were some younger females demanding to meet Slipknot because they wanted to give them head.
So they let them in a room, since Slipknot wears masks and makeup, you really didn't know who they were.
Apparently, an accountant for the show was in a Slipknot mask and receiving oral. The chicks had not a clue.
Oh, wow. Oh, wow.
I'm wondering if one of these chicks like all of a sudden, man, I was at Ozfest and I did that. Oh, shit.
Yeah, I thought that was great because you always hear stuff like that happening.
Like, oh, I think like one was about Bon Jovi where they'd have they said that they'd let a roadie go in the room with long hair and they'd have to have all the lights off.
And the only thing that the woman could do was give him oral. Remember that old? Remember that old? Yeah, yeah.
Well, I guess it came from somewhere, didn't it? So. Yeah.
So, you know, they probably still think they gave Slipknot an actual hummer and they're probably told all their friends and all that stuff and everything.
And now if one of their friends hears this, oh, boy.
You know, I bet that accountant worked for virtually nothing.
You know, the the blowing goes might have been in his contract. What do you think?
That could have been. I think it's a yeah. Yeah. I think it's a great negotiating tool, right?
Yeah. Yeah.
So Paramount is coming out with a new docu series about the whole 80s hard rock glam and metal scene.
This will be several shows highlighting the generation that still has a bad hangover.
Us. I personally would love to see a then and now on every episode.
Let's see how well all that debauchery did on your looks. Would that be great?
See all these people that hung out with L.A. then and you see them with the perfect hair and looking great.
Then you look now and they look like a piece of fried shit with hair or some of them not hair.
Look at a lot of the 80 glam rock guys. Oh, God. I look at Vince Neil. Right there.
Yeah. This nail. Axl Rose. Yeah. Axl Rose looks like we ain't got enough time to keep going.
Think of this, Rob. Axl Rose looks like Dutch boy paint.
Remember the Dutch boy guy? He looks like Dutch boy.
He does not look like a rocker. Yeah.
He needs to just say, OK, I'm going to cut off the hair when I'm still Axl fucking Rose. Right.
Yeah. Speaking of Axl Rose, my son was having a discussion the other day at lunch.
And we were talking about rock, you know, and Guns N' Roses come up and we were sitting talking about that.
He goes, yeah, so and so said something about Axl Rose's voice. He can't sing no more.
No, he ruined it. I just looked at my son. I said, what do you say?
He goes, dude, think about it. If you've been screaming that many years, you wouldn't have a voice here.
Exactly. That's my 19 year old saying this.
This is people that never sing. He's never heard me say that.
It's true, Rob. They don't sing from their vibrato. They don't sing the way they're supposed to.
A good singer like Glenn Hughes, I bet you can put a candle in front of his face and sing and not put it out.
Axl Rose or David Lee Roth would put that candle out. They don't sing right. They never have.
They come from deep within and felt, you know. Yeah.
Your voice is only going to hang on for so long.
Vince Neil is off and on too. One night Vince Neil sounds fine. The next night he sounds horrible.
This is another one of those nasal vocals. They're not the proper way to sing and they ruin your voice.
Anyhow, I'm betting a few of these guys look like Skeletor and probably women too, right?
Probably, yeah. Some of the ones I've seen, yeah.
You know, Axl Rose also looks like the Morton chick on Morton Salt that's like spilling the salt.
He does.
You know, these 80s people that are like leftovers, right, they're probably the ones you see on the stop smoking commercials
with a hole in their throat and wrinkled up faces. I used to smoke. I won't anymore.
I got anal and nostril cancer because I've got cigarettes.
Anyhow, all right, moving right along. Yeah.
Oh no, we knew this was going to happen, Rob. An avocado shortage appears to be on the horizon.
Yep, that's right. That delightful green mush that you looked.
Yeah, we did. I remember us talking about that.
Yeah, we did.
So anyhow.
I forget how many shows ago, but yeah, we did talk about that.
We did talk about it and that's why I brought it up. I was reading on the internet. I'm like, hey, we hit that.
And now it's official.
It's official. So I guess I read somewhere that like a lot of avocados coming in from Mexico, they don't trust or something.
And so that's part of the reason why. And I mean, we get avocados from Mexico all the time.
So maybe they have reason. Yeah, it could be something like that. I don't think they're actually really saying.
Yeah, they're not really saying. So anyhow, this is leading to a shortage.
But anyhow, that delightful green mush that you love might be getting very expensive.
You can find it. I think at that point I will get some green food diet and mashed potatoes, then sell it for avocado mash.
You think anyone will tell the difference, Rob?
Hey, dude, that is a box. Oh, you're on the stuff.
Yeah, yeah. Let's buy a bunch of Idaho flakes. Right.
Or I mean, we can even peel potatoes, whatever. However, we get it and we'll get green food dye and then we'll put it on there.
We wouldn't want actual potatoes to make it taste more like. Yeah, you're right. You're right.
I think the artificial stuff would be quite good.
I'm bet you eight out of ten people would not notice it on a burrito.
You could throw that bitch in a burrito and they'd be like, oh, my God, this.
Where'd you get this avocado at, man? It's really rich and and fluffy.
Man, it's great. I can't tell you my secret. It's a family recipe.
I'm sorry. You you cannot know my avocado recipe.
Just eat up. So anyhow, you know, it probably work.
So yeah, we yeah, you did.
But anyhow, I bet some places probably do that right now.
Don't you think they're like, hey, hey, come here. Yeah, what? What?
Hey, why don't you take some of those potatoes over there, mash them up, throw some green food dye in there and let's throw them on burritos and see who notices.
You know, that's happened. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. If nothing else for fun and shits and giggles.
But I think like, you know, some of them are like, yeah, avocados cost so fucking much.
Hey, hey, I know what we can do. Yeah.
So anyhow, anyhow, Tommy Shaw, the guitarist of sticks, love him.
Right. Isn't he great? I mean, oh, God, oh, he is so underrated.
I've seen him like four or five times.
Isn't he? It's amazing. I always think in his music.
I do too. And he can shred, but he doesn't choose to so many times.
And this is back where I was going to sticks is almost like a queen, you know, like Queen was where you have the rocker and then you have the ballad guy.
Then you have the operatic guy, you know, Dennis DeYoung was the operatic guy, you know.
And so all those ingredients together make a fantastic band, but it also makes them hate each other too, because they're constantly quibbling over music.
You know, Tommy Shaw's like, man, hey, I want to put this kick ass solo in there.
Desi Young's going, no, that's it. You got to put horns in that. What the fuck's wrong with you?
And it causes all this tension. And I even heard extreme say this on the old rock line.
They're talking about Queen and how Queen was such an influence.
And they're talking about how Freddie Mercury said, you know, we're always like a half second away from breaking up.
And that's the beauty of our music. And then Gary Sharone said, yeah, he goes, I could say that too.
So extreme is like that too, because you have Nuno, who's like, do do do do do.
And then you have Gary Sharone is more like, hey, let's do a poppy hit.
You know, he fit very well in Van Halen, but by that time, people were not having anyone else in Van Halen.
It was either David Lee Roth or Sammy Hagar. They're not accepting anybody else. And that's the way it was.
Gary Sharone was great, man. He was great on that poppy rock, I don't know, Def Leppard style, who-ha stuff. But anyhow.
Yeah.
So anyhow, Tommy Shaw said that he has learned to not have any resentment towards Dennis DeYoung, the former frontman of Styx.
I think it's pretty cool now that they're all in their 70s plus and probably won't ever tour again.
You know, I mean, look, yeah, I mean, they're saying this now. They know damn well, you know, Tommy Shaw knows damn well they're not going to tour again.
They're all getting too old.
I don't know. They keep showing up at Ozarks Amphitheater in Kemp.
Yeah, that's the Styx without Dennis DeYoung, or is it Dennis DeYoung?
No, it's not Dennis DeYoung.
Okay.
It's Tommy Shaw.
Yeah, yeah.
Actually, the first, yeah. The first time I've seen him, a few years ago, they opened here at Ozarks Amphitheater for Foreigner.
And Jason Bonham was the drummer for Foreigner that night.
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I love Jason Bonham.
I've seen Jason Bonham at Lake of the Ozarks.
He does this thing I want to go to called the Led Zeppelin Experience, and that's where it's laser lights and it's laser lights and he plays the drums to loud Led Zeppelin music.
It sounds great to me, but anyhow, I'll see it someday maybe.
You know, so anyhow, and then I read the rest of the story on it and he said, you know, he doesn't ever want to be a band again.
He doesn't, he just doesn't scream vulgarities at Dennis in his sleep anymore.
Right, right, right.
Yeah. And so he's just saying, I'm at peace.
He said, I don't want to be in a band with him, but I don't hate the guy anymore.
You know, Dennis apparently was quite a handful with demands for performing.
I've heard this for a long time and I think it's probably true, allegedly and all that good stuff.
I was hoping he was only allowing brown Eminem's backstage like Van Halen, but he is probably more like a light Zinfidel and a spunky Lambrusco, which leads me to more feet jokes.
So, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, really, Dennis, you know, Tommy Shaw was probably wanting the brown Eminem's, right?
And then, oh yeah, Dennis DeYoung was going, I want a white Zinfidel and I want a spunky Lambrusco right now on my desk.
And then he's listened to opera or some shit or big band.
Yeah. Oh, you know.
So anyhow, I still, I love Dennis DeYoung too.
I love both of them. They're, they're both who they are.
I do. They're both musicians in their own right.
Yeah. And they do things very different styles, but they are both great.
They're both fantastic. No, I agree. I agree, Rob.
You know, I wish they do more music. I mean, they'll never be another one like the Grand Illusion or Pieces of Eight or, or what was the one would come sail away on it?
Shit.
You know what? And I'm not going to go to the computer. You know what? Look it up. That album was great.
Well, to be honest, I have slow internet right now. I, I normally I have my wifi at home and we're, yeah, we're out down a gravel road.
I was worried that you weren't going to have signal. I was like, ah man, well, I was like, well it's Sunday night.
That's why I texted you last night to make sure you got my text and whether I had reception or not.
I know I read that.
I read that. I'm like one bar and now I've got two bars out of four, so I'm good.
I'm glad you did that because.
Now I just got to worry about the fireworks going off behind me here in a few minutes. So we'll see.
Well, we'll see what happens. So.
There's a bunch of mortars here and there's fingers itching to set them off. So.
I get it. I get it. I get it.
Yeah.
Okay. So back to the foot jokes. Why shouldn't you go into battle barefooted Rob?
I have no idea.
Because you'll get defeated.
Ah, ah, ah.
You're welcome America. You're welcome.
Moving right along. Man, you're a tough one tonight Rob.
I just wonder why you didn't say that for I own the horrible jokes.
Oh shit. You're right.
Well, I just got it. I just I just did a ton of iron.
Hey, it's your time to talk. Say whatever you want, bro.
Okay. You're right though. That would have been a great horrible joke.
Okay. What sort of. What? What?
Damn it. What sort of snack defeat like Rob?
I don't know.
Doritos. Ha ha ha ha.
Another island. Another island of horrible jokes. Okay. Okay.
What do what do frogs wear on their feet Rob?
I don't know.
Open toes.
There's your eight crops.
Yeah. Good one Rob. That needs to be on island of horrible jokes too. That's awesome.
Okay. Go ahead.
No, you know what? I can put these on island of horrible jokes. Who cares? Anyhow.
Open toed sandals is what they wear.
Oh, okay. Okay.
Why did your feet fall in love?
I don't have a clue.
You are tough tonight Rob.
Mine hurt all the time. My feet don't fall in love.
Okay. Because they were soul mates.
Okay. Moving right along. Sorry.
Let me go ahead and go to the next one so you can get a couple of stories in before these fireworks go off.
And then there's this.
In Chicago a new old weapon was used in capturing a home burglar.
The homeowner hit the perpetrator over the head with a cast iron skillet. Look it up.
Oh shit.
Went old school on him.
Oh he did. He chased him out of the house and hit him in the head in his yard with a cast iron skillet.
Old school.
Hell yeah.
That's what grandma would have done.
Yeah. I use those cast iron skillets multiple times and those things are solid and heavy.
I'm thinking that thief would think long and hard before he did.
You think that thief is going to go out and steal something else now? I don't think so.
He didn't. You're calling fucking the ambulance on him.
I assume they caught him. It didn't say in the story.
Hell with the cops. Just call the ambulance.
Well you know Chicago has signature bonds so if he went to jail he's out now.
So he's free to get his head bashed in again.
He's going to be in the hospital first.
Yes. You're right. He probably did go to the hospital.
I'm looking for the cast iron skillet today.
Oh dude was so pissed. He knocked the shit out of him with that cast iron skillet.
It was a great video. I watched it like 3 or 4 times giggling. It was great.
I'm not saying the guy did not deserve it. I am not saying that.
The guy obviously deserved it.
Oh shit.
So anyhow in England, in India, not England, in India several people died as a result of illegally brewed alcohol.
Oh shit.
What proof would that have been Rob? Think about that. Instead of blinding people just killing them.
I would say zero.
Oh you think it was just some poison instead?
Well I mean if you drink a large amount of alcohol at the right concentration it can make you go blind.
It can fuck up your kidneys. All kinds of stuff.
So I just don't know if the guy brewed it wrong.
Well no it was probably more like 200 to 400 proof or 500 proof.
I was just stating that if they drank it and killed you, you're at zero.
Yeah okay I gotcha.
That's where I was going with that.
Rob you're correct. You are at zero. You're at no proof. Good one.
Anyhow let's see. This stuff sounds like it makes Night Train taste like infant formula. Don't you think?
Oh my god. Yeah.
Night Train was tough dude. Night Train was tough.
It did add up.
I can hear it right.
You know?
Oh yeah but what a story Rob.
Yeah that's true.
You can go up to anyone's wild drinking story and I can hear it now.
I drank so much one night it killed everybody but me and another dude.
Think of the Braggenrides.
It killed five people and I lived. That's how bad I drank.
I just know for a fact I've lived through well could have been very well that way if things would have not turned out differently.
Oh I would have. I would have. I'd be like.
I could have been on that story many a different time.
I think we all could have especially back in the day.
No wait a second. Wait a second. A few of them were with you.
Yes. Yes.
Remember when Darren was we thought puking up blood but it was wine and we took him to the emergency room.
Our friend's dying man.
Why do you say that? He's puking up blood.
And the doctor looks at us like.
Did we take him to the annex? I don't want that.
Yeah. Yeah. The one that used to be there.
The doctor is pretty much rolling his eyes going no that's not blood.
That's wine guys. How much wine did he have?
We're like oh quite a bit.
We don't know. We just got off work.
Yeah. Yeah. He was hitting it before.
We didn't brush him.
Yeah he was hitting it before us so we don't know.
We're just the good Samaritans although we're all bad.
We're all blasted and faked.
We come out from work and he was like this so we rushed him in.
We all smelled like a giant reefer and fucking alcohol.
Oh hell yeah.
But you know what if I had that story it killed everybody but me.
Then I would add like. Then I hit the bartender in the mouth and I told him that rock gut was on the fucking house.
Wouldn't you add that?
There you go.
You'd have to at that point. You'd have to at that point.
Yep.
So anyhow.
So you know you've been so drunk you'd have to be like I don't know Rocky 5 or 20 or whatever.
Where Rocky's saying he's seeing threes of everybody and Paulie goes hit the one in the middle.
That's what you had to have done.
You'd be like man I want to hit this bartender and tell him his rock gut sucks and it's on the house but there's three of them.
Wait a minute.
Actually I've seen that advice in a few different movies.
It's probably true if you think about it.
The one in the middle is probably.
Yeah in the movies somebody's getting up fighting and he's drunk and his buddy's standing there.
Which one do I hit? I see three of them hit the one in the middle.
The one in the middle.
I don't know how many of them.
Yeah so anyhow.
Now that you mentioned it.
Yeah and it was just like one of those things of like wow what a sage advice.
Where Paulie just looks at it and he goes.
And it works. It works.
Oh yeah he's like yo Paulie I see three of them.
Hit the one in the middle Rock. Hit the one in the middle.
Oh okay.
Anyhow alright let's take our first break and we're going to come back with your stuff.
How's that sound?
Alright alright.
Alrighty. Be here or you're not here.
Yeah.
Two dish bags and microphone in an effort to keep everything fresh.
We offer you.
First world problems.
Oh shit.
Look at that drive thru line.
Surely they don't expect me to actually have to go in.
This sucks.
Hey there fuck stick.
You're just in time for brand new feature news nobody gives a shit about.
An 80 year old Virginia man hangs upside down for two hours a day.
Hey look I think we found land.
Oh my god I think we're safe.
Oh no.
It's the island of horrible jokes.
Oh my god.
What did the coach say to the vending machine?
Give me my quarterback.
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Your mama's so fat she went out in high heels and struck oil.
As much fun as an electric can opener to the scrotum.
Two deuce lads in a microphone.
Now from this underground bunker camped in Missouri.
Stocked full of dried guts, canned food and a couple of vibrating toys.
It's ramblings of a madman featuring Rob Rad.
I intend to live forever.
So far, so good.
The apocalypse just happened.
You don't know what to do.
You don't know where to go.
But we can tell you what you can eat.
During an apocalypse you will probably need a good insecticide.
Soybean, corn and peppermint oil are some plant extracts that create powerful natural insecticides.
They are some of nature's best organic and natural pesticides.
That when combined can make a far more superior weapon that growers can effectively use to improve their integrated pest management on their crops or on their person.
We are back to Deuce Bag's microphone.
I'm Mark and we are on location and Rob is over there.
Right Rob? Where are you?
Rob is sitting in a freaking tent.
He's in his loin cloth too.
The one in the jigsaw puzzle.
He's in that loin cloth.
Actually yes I am.
And I am in my official two Deuce Bags and a microphone t-shirt with my name on the back.
And the woman that made them, my friend's daughter-in-law, is here.
Cool.
We might be able to start some merch dude.
That would be cool.
Man our numbers would probably support it.
I almost imagine just by hearing our emails and stuff I think we would have some people buy some merch.
Dude our emails are incredible.
Some of the stories I'm like wow.
Like I said shirts and stuff, I have the person right here.
The questions and the stuff that they say, I know dick jokes right?
We really have an intelligent audience from what I can tell.
Yeah they know we are telling dick jokes but we are not 18, 20 no more.
We can still lead it that way. We just don't go as deep as we used to.
You see I find it refreshing that they don't care.
They are just like yeah we want to hear dick jokes.
I'm having fun with it too.
Yeah you know there is too much other bullshit going on in the world.
Yeah.
Anyhow Rob you got a story you want to go to?
Yes I do. I want to go into the rock and roll world.
Awesome.
Dave Davies, guitarist of the Kinks.
Uh huh.
Okay. His brother Ray Davies, lead singer, Dave Davies, lead guitarist,
has hit back after spotting his rock and roll hall of fame trophy being put up for auction on eBay.
Huh? How did that happen?
It has got his rock and roll. The original four members of the Kinks, Dave, his brother Ray, bassist Pete Clough,
and drummer Mick Avery were inducted into the hall of fame in 1990 reuniting the first time in many years.
However guitarist Dave noticed the award was up for auction for $12,500.
Wow.
And took it at slash Twitter to share his feelings on seeing the listing saying the award had been listed without his consent.
Good. Good I'm glad he caught it.
Quote, I quote, I lost track of my award years ago and didn't know where it was he wrote.
If the person bought it at a storage unit it may have been around the time of my 2004 stroke when I was incapacitated in the UK.
Davies suffered a stroke in 2004 on June 30th, staying in the hospital for two months.
The stroke forced him to relearn the guitar afterwards.
Wow.
He went on to record a full album called Fractured Minds, M-I-N-D-E-Z, releasing it in 2007 going on to make a full recovery.
Continuing on social media, Dave added, I'm grateful to have made a full record for my stroke, but it's a shame that I wasn't contacted.
I'm assuming this is what happened. The auction makes me very sad.
Wow.
Yeah, he thinks that while he was incapacitated.
He lost a storage shed and that award was in that storage shed. Now, whoever bought it is now selling it on eBay.
Wouldn't he have some sort of legal recourse? Maybe not.
Not if you lose your stuff in a storage shed.
If you owe a debt, you would have to pay off that debt to get that stuff back if they would allow you.
Evidently, he wasn't able to because he got auctioned off.
That was, what, 2007? I think it was 2004.
Oh, when they're inducted.
Okay, so he's not getting it back unless he pays the price, right?
Oh, well, okay. Yeah, they were inducted in 2004, but he also suffered a stroke in 2004.
I didn't realize that. I didn't even know he had a stroke, actually, which surprises me.
No, wait a second. They were inducted in 1990.
Okay, okay. I thought I was crazy. I thought I was crazy. I knew it was quite a while before 2004. Okay, he had a stroke in 2004.
He had a stroke and he thinks he lost it in a storage in 2004.
That sounds very likely. I mean, if he's incapacitated, he couldn't pay the bills.
That's what I'm saying. Yeah. I've dealt with storage units. I know.
Yeah, yeah. I mean, that's the way it is. If you don't pay, they take your shit.
And they tell you that, and you sign that.
Doesn't matter who you are.
Yeah, and you sign that whenever you go there for them to hold your stuff.
So, all right. Do you want to get to some emails, Rob?
Yes, please do. I want to hear what our listeners have to say. I think.
There's good ones. We did not get one. There's some. I'm a little leery of.
All right, let's go. Well, Montrose didn't report this week, so I don't know what's going on. So anyhow.
Is there a pit of status? I think so.
They're probably having a town hall meeting over us.
Probably. I think Ruthann. There are Ruthann in us right now. So.
All right. Marco Robb. Why don't you ever put up the show that was posted?
Topics. I love to read what's in the show beforehand. Barry and Tulsa.
OK, that's the reason I have the transcript up there.
I put something goofy because, quite frankly, I don't have enough time to put up like 30 subjects.
All this is contingent on the time I have, which I don't have a whole lot of time.
So I put something like Robb acts like a monkey and spills porridge on Mark's asshole. You know, just stuff like that.
Hey, it catches your attention. Yeah.
So to be honest, he used to do that. I did. Yeah. And it took too damn long. So yeah.
I understood it. We both agree. Hey, let's just throw something out that catches our attention.
Yeah, because. Robb shorts a line of ants or whatever. Yeah.
Or whatever. Yeah. So that's why you have the. That catches your attention.
If you want to read what it is before you listen to it, you can read the transcript on RSS.com.
You got to go to RSS. If you're on Spotify, tune in any of those guys. They're not going to have it.
But you can get a transcript of the show on RSS.com.
And you just put in two douchebags microphone, it'll take you to our area.
And then you can go there and hit the transcript button on any show that you want to see what we say.
So that's why it's like that. So anyhow, go to RSS. You can read it ahead of time.
But I mean, what you just want to listen, you know, I mean, I don't I don't necessarily read a podcast that I like's transcript.
I don't have time to sit and read it and then listen to it.
No, just throw it on. If I want to hear it, I'll listen to it.
If I don't want to turn it off. Exactly.
Thank you, Rob. That's our right as humans with opposing.
You're on fire tonight, Rob. Not only are you stiff tonight, but you're on fire.
No, dude, like we were down the river earlier and I just I grab my chair, put it in the river and I sat down in it.
You know, they come up around my midsection.
Did you lose your loin cloth? My legs float up and it was like I was in a recliner.
I just laid there. Oh, I'm so comfortable.
You didn't lose your loin cloth, did you, in the sparkling water?
No, no, it actually dried up quick. Oh, good. Good.
Dried up pretty quick. Yeah. OK, that's good.
Next one. Hey, man, there really is a tightwad Missouri.
I just strove through it. I thought you guys were full of shit.
Benny in Idaho. What the hell is he doing driving through tightwad?
Uh, well, maybe he's a trucker. I don't know.
Could be, but still, you know, if he could be traveling Kansas City, Lake of the Ozarks.
Oh, yeah. You know what? Yeah, that's true.
That when I leave the Lake of the Ozarks to go to South Kansas City, which is where I would go,
down around Belton, Harrisville, U, wherever, Brand New, wherever. Yep.
I would come up through Warsaw, go through Warsaw, turn off at Warsaw, go through tightwad over into Clinton and up to Harrisville.
OK. OK. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There is a tightwad Missouri and there is a Montrose Missouri.
Yes, there is. Both of them. I've made fun of it since I was a kid driving through there.
Yeah, it was a big gag for a long time. People would go there to the bank there, I think it was a bank, wasn't it?
And they would get something with the stamp tightwad Missouri just so that, you know, just you could show it.
Yeah, I think it was a bank. Just to show proof. Yeah. Yeah.
And it was just a big gimmick. People loved it. Hey, hey, you know where I'm at? No, tightwad. You know, stuff like that.
So, you know, the employees loved it, too, because it was bringing their town attention. That's right. Yeah.
Yep. There is a tightwad. I'm glad you got to go through it. All right. Mark, you are so correct.
I didn't see much, did you? Oh, sorry. No, that's OK. Two houses. Sorry, tightwad.
Oh, yeah. There are only friends right now on cities. Yeah. Yeah. Tightwad, he was just joking. We're sorry.
All right. Some of them, yeah, some of them talk to me. They know.
We like small towns, so we embrace you, tightwad. Yes. Next one.
Mark, you're so correct on the phone industry, making it so complicated to keep your number while switching services.
I just went through a horrible week trying to keep my number.
I eventually did keep it, but it took way too long and too much bullshit. Just backing you up.
Holly and KCK. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you, fellow Kansas City and on the other side of the river.
Welcome and thank you for listening, Holly. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah.
I would agree. And I said everything and I wanted to. And it sounds like you went through the same hell.
So anyhow, yeah, they do that. I'm convinced they do that on purpose.
You've got to go through all this shit. And then a lot of people are like, I'm just going to stay with my service.
I don't want to have to deal with all that. And I think it works.
So the next one, Rob, how long have you lived in Camden?
I was just curious, Frank, and he doesn't say where he's from.
OK, well, I moved to actually Link Creek, which is just outside between Camden and Osage Beach.
They're the one that had the Tesla, right?
Right. Yeah. Yeah. They got a little water park there.
You know, in 2003. So I've been down around here for 21 years.
Wow. I didn't realize it was that long.
But I've actually lived in the city limits of Camden for about seven.
OK, so for that, you lived in the area, but not necessarily in Camden.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. We were out in the county outside Link Creek, big surf water park.
OK. In between Camden and Osage Beach.
We actually turned it's called Y Road.
And you come around, you get off the 54 Highway, come around and it goes back.
Back into a bunch of housing conditions.
I need to make my way back.
I've lived there most of the time. I've been around a white tier.
That was in 2003, so 21 years.
Although I did take a two year stint, went to campus, but I'd come back.
And that was in 2016. I came back.
OK. I left from 2014, come back in 2016.
Well, there you go, Frank.
This next one, I love this question.
If you ever get down here, look me up.
There you go. All righty.
I know mine went on this and then you can tell your one.
Hey guys, which song is the best?
Deep Purple Highway Star or Deep Purple Perfect Strangers?
Thanks. Many in El Dorado, Kansas.
Perfect Strangers for me.
I know El Dorado too.
OK. That's down there near Wichita.
Yeah.
OK. Perfect Strangers.
No, it's down by the radio.
Oh, it is?
Yeah.
Oh no, not Missouri. Not Missouri, Kansas.
El Dorado, Kansas.
Oh, Kansas.
Not El Dorado Springs. Not El Dorado Springs.
Yeah, I see. I was saying El Dorado Springs.
It's just, yeah, on 54 outside Nevada.
No, it says El Dorado, Kansas.
OK. I missed the Kansas part.
You have to remember.
You're on a Bluetooth.
That's in the next grade.
Yeah, I get it. I get it.
Perfect Strangers for me.
Highway Star versus Perfect Strangers.
Strangers, 2D Purple, iconic songs.
Honestly?
Yeah.
I think I have to go with Highway Star.
That's cool.
I love Perfect Strangers.
And it was a perfect song for the time it came out in.
Yeah.
But Highway Star kind of rolled over the top before.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
That's why I've got to give Highway Star the bump up.
OK.
They did, you know.
And Perfect Strangers to me is just a notch, just barely a smidge above it.
And that's just my own personal.
I know, I bet you if you did this poll,
300 people, 290 of them would say Highway Star.
No, actually I think most of them would go with Perfect Strangers.
You think?
Because it came out last and more of them would remember that song.
Highway Star came out after what?
Seventy what?
Oh shit, 73 I believe?
Seventy three.
Yeah, you're right.
That's what I'm saying.
What they did in Highway Star was before the time,
or as the shit was just getting good.
You're right, you're right.
But Perfect Strangers kind of stayed on track with what was being played at the time.
That's why I'm giving it to Highway Star.
You know what, Rob, I think you're right on that.
You have your opinion.
OK.
All right, next.
Mark, you mentioned that you went to see Wasp in Tulsa.
And I'm going to see that.
And then you're going to see them in Wichita.
I've seen recent videos of Blackie Lawless and the rest of the band, whoever they are.
And quite frankly, they were very boring.
Your reply, please.
Yes, I know this.
The Wasp concert in Tulsa was not very exciting.
I'm doing this because I just want to see him one last time.
Probably never going to see him again.
You know, he just had major back surgery.
And that's if, if he makes it to this show, if it's canceled again because his back is still bad,
then you're probably he's going to be like Ozzy.
You're never going to see him on stage again.
So so it's nostalgia.
He was not very exciting in Tulsa.
But I love the show.
And I think even stated this, didn't I?
I said, I love the show because the nostalgia.
You know, they had a bunch of old videos of them and like all this stuff, the PMRC stuff where it exposed Tipper Gore and all those idiots.
Frank Zappa tore them up and they played Frank Zappa just depends on the PMRC and them sitting over there with their mouths open, gawking like the dogs they were.
So anyhow, yeah, I know, I know.
I'm hoping he's a little bit better.
I hope his back is healed and he can actually do a little something.
But I don't know, you know, he used to wear those stiletto heels and jump all the time.
Pretty sure it fucked his back up, right?
Oh, dude, dude. Oh, yeah, definitely.
I mean, on stage, it was insane.
He wore those stiletto heels and he just.
Jumping around like he did. Yeah.
Yeah. And he looked like just like this bohemoth.
He's like six five anyhow.
And then you add another six inches that he's like this seven foot tall lurking guy with long hair, with long black hair, with white stripes to one on each side.
I mean, it's just iconic.
So anyhow, yeah, I know this.
Yes. Yeah.
And do I expect this concert to be all that great?
Probably not.
No Chris Holmes.
No Randy Piper.
No Johnny Rod.
No.
Who else?
Which Stephen Reilly?
None of those guys are in it anymore.
And it's just basically Blackie Lawless.
But he started the band.
He owns the name.
So, yeah, these other guys, I don't give one ounce of shit about.
They're not that exciting.
They're rather boring.
They've probably been told to tone it down anyhow, because that's why bands like that that are like pretty much a one person anymore.
That's the way they work.
You don't still get thunder because I got some.
I got something when you're done.
I have something to add to that.
Oh, go ahead.
Go ahead right now.
Go ahead.
Keep going.
OK.
I was just going to say Blackie is now a born again Christian.
That's another thing, too.
We talked about that.
He did not want.
He didn't want to play an animal.
The horses are starting to go off.
I don't know if you heard it.
I didn't hear it.
Good.
OK.
If we keep going, let's keep going.
Let's keep going.
OK.
I have both ear pods in and are supposed to be noise reduction.
So we'll see.
Blackie Wallace was very conflicted about playing animal.
I fuck like a beast because he's a born again Christian.
He decided to do it because overwhelmingly everybody wanted to hear it.
And this is nostalgia tours for America.
He is normally overseas.
Overseas, he sells out arenas.
Here, you know, he'll get a decent showing at a Tulsa or Wichita.
You know, that's just the logistics of it and everything.
You know, he plays overseas because that's where he makes the real money.
This is just him, I think, just saying, hey, guys, I remember you.
Thank you. Love you.
Goodbye.
He's probably never going to be back.
So anyhow, if he's still playing by the time Wichita comes around, one, no, I don't expect a very dynamic performance.
And two, it's cool just to hear the songs live again.
He still sounds good.
So anyhow, just like you said, it's all about the nostalgia.
Yes. Yes.
It is a band.
Mark, I've known you for 40 years.
Yes. Coming up.
And yeah, you have always been in the wasp.
You always had that.
Yep.
So anyhow, it's nostalgia.
And anyhow.
All right.
Next, Douches, what is your favorite Captain and Daniel song?
And what is your favorite Bay City roller song?
Muscat Love.
Yeah, me too.
But hang on.
Listen to the.
Muscat Love.
Seriously.
Muscat Love.
I agree.
And then.
They put the shift of size.
They make that sound.
Yeah.
It was pretty cool.
Did they sing.
That weird.
Yeah.
Did they sing locomotion too?
No.
OK.
All right.
Captain and Tennille did not do locomotion.
No, no, no.
Bay City rollers.
Oh.
Muscat Love.
Definitely.
For Captain and Tennille.
I thought Bay City rollers did locomotion.
Maybe not.
No.
Oh, it was signed You Know Who from Hooterville.
I still got to go with Muscat Love.
Muscat Love.
Yeah.
For Captain and Tennille.
Yes.
Yeah.
But the Bay City rollers, I thought they did.
I guess not.
I thought they did locomotion.
But let me see.
Let me see how good my Google is right now.
OK.
Who?
I know Darryl Hall and John Oates did one.
Yep.
What?
Who?
The guy's name is Who Knows Who or her name.
Darryl.
Little Eva.
Eva Narcissus Boyd was the first artist to record the song, the locomotion, in 1962.
OK.
The song was written by Gary Golfin and Carol King, who also sang backup vocals on the demo.
Boyd was King and Golfin's babysitter and had previously had some success with other
songs, but the locomotion was her big street, big break.
OK.
That's according to Google.
Oh, OK.
OK.
Here.
I think it's a little bit different than that.
I just looked up Bay City rollers and I got a song that I think is their best because I
didn't know what to say.
Do you?
Do you remember anything from the Bay City rollers?
I don't.
I remember them, but I don't remember their songs.
Yeah.
I used to watch the show.
I used to watch the show on TV.
Me, too.
I was that young.
I wasn't cool yet.
I was still young.
Shake, shake, shake.
It's not.
Shake, shake, shake.
It's not.
Shake, shake, shake.
It's not.
Shake, shake, shake.
Was that the Bay City rollers?
It's not on here.
Saturday night.
That's the that's the song I remember.
Who was it?
That was the Bay City rollers.
Hang on.
Let me look.
We've got the good old Googles right here.
So let me check.
Yeah.
I guess I'll just put in shake.
Shake her booty.
Shake.
No, not Shake Shack.
No, you'll come up with Shaken by Eddie Mike.
Casey and the Sunshine Band.
Oh, OK.
Yep.
There you go.
OK.
I'm going with Saturday night.
Well, they both had.
They might have covered that.
But it wasn't their hit.
They both had TV shows at that time.
OK.
You know what?
The Bay City rollers could have covered that song.
Yes, I don't know.
I don't remember.
I just remember them.
I don't remember their hits.
But I do remember looking at their discography that I remembered Saturday night.
And that's the song that I'm going through.
Yeah.
You too.
Yeah.
Now that you mention that.
Yeah, that would be.
Yeah.
You know who from Hooterville?
I was taken on by them.
The guy's name or the chick's name that I know who it is.
Anyhow, you know who from Hooterville is the way this was signed, this question?
You know who?
You threw us for a loop on that one.
You threw us for the loop on that one.
That was good.
That was a great question.
Anyhow.
Yeah.
Hey, I'm camping.
Musgrat Love, man.
I'm in.
Musgrat Love, you just put it on the screen.
I'm in.
Musgrat Love, you just put it on the screen.
I'm in.
Musgrat Love, you just picked out a thin air there, dude.
Oh, definitely.
That was great.
Yeah, but it was a great song.
Oh, it's gotta be.
I mean, I listened to that so many times with my mom.
Yeah, that was a...
She was a big captain.
I told you, she used to live from the WHB.
Yeah, Johnny Dolan.
Let's see, who else?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, WHB Car Star.
Remember those?
Yeah.
Yeah, beyond the back of a car, it's a WHB.
And then I remember one summer, I started seeing this yellow and black emblem with a
hippo on it.
I'm like, wow, what the hell is that?
What's this FM?
Please do not tell me you're going into what I think you're going into.
I don't know.
I'm just kind of like coming off the top of my head with this.
Okay.
Go ahead.
KY came by, an FM, and strong personalities and strong morning shows like Dick and Jay,
that's what they started with.
And they took all of WHB's listeners pretty much in one summer.
Is that what you thought I was going into?
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
I have a story, my next story.
My next turn to talk.
Oh, okay.
Okay.
We just got two more.
Mark, I tried some of your yard food on your apocalypse segment.
It all tasted like shit.
Paul and Greenville.
You're stupid for trying it.
Why would you?
There's no apocalypse.
This is if you don't have any other food and you want to stay alive, idiot.
No one else went out in their yard and picked fucking greens.
So anyhow, and then one more.
Okay.
No, no, no.
He's just telling you what you could survive on.
He didn't say it was going to taste like fucking filet mignon.
Yes.
If you survive on it in an apocalypse, that's all you will worry about it.
Yes.
And you'll thank me if the bomb goes off tomorrow when you're alive.
So.
I'm going to be right here in a fucking tent.
I'm going to enjoy going out.
Yeah, yeah.
Rob will be all right.
He's in BFE.
Nothing's getting near him.
So.
I've got a featured email here and then we'll go into your story after the break.
That sound good?
Yeah, sounds good.
Okay.
The featured email is Mark.
I lived in Kimberley City for years.
I had been to the Swiss Villa amphitheater numerous times.
They had a barrier up there and it was just three feet tall so people could watch the
show without obstruction.
Penny and Branson.
Yeah, yeah, I know.
But I think what happened is by the time I got there and saw it, they'd already tore
the damn barrier down and was jumping off.
I mean, I guess there could have been a three foot barrier back a little ways, but I didn't
see it.
I think probably they trampled it or just tore it up and started jumping off of the
cliff.
So yeah, Penny.
Okay.
I believe you.
I'd never been up there.
So.
Okay.
There is a barrier, a three foot barrier.
It didn't stop them, did it Rob?
And not when there's alcohol involved.
And by the way, Penny, I moved to Lake of the Ozarks in 03 from Reed Springs.
Oh, that's near Branson.
That's over off 13 Highway.
Yeah.
Branson West, Kimberley City.
Yeah.
I lived down there for about a year, year and a half.
That's where my ex-wife got her singing career started.
I was singing for Jim Baker's new TV show.
We've got a kickass zip line in Reed Springs now.
And when they used to have, yeah, they used to have the worst, the worst strip bar there
named Spanky's.
Have you ever been there Rob?
Yeah.
I have never been there.
I was told from the get go, do not go in there.
Well, man, a friend of mine, I'm not going to mention the name of the guy because he
is no longer with us.
Oh my God.
Well, I unfortunately along the way met a couple of them.
They had one in there with a peg leg, not joking, and bad botched boob jobs and a cesarean
scar, two of them that looked like you shot them.
It looked like they got shot with a shotgun.
That's what I was told.
Oh my gosh.
No, no, no, no.
And me and the other person who I'm not mentioning, God rest their soul, only could take about
15 minutes of it and we left.
It was an eye opener.
I'd heard you don't go there.
I thought, how bad can it be having a, having a chick that looks like skeleton.
I never counted.
Plus I was married to some, say it for Jim Baker.
Yeah, that's true.
Well, okay.
But I was painting houses and DJing at a bar.
Oh, that sounds like a good life to me.
But anyhow, you ever have like a skeletor looking chick with one leg slithering up on
you?
Oh, smell, it smelled horrible.
And you're like, Hey, did you hear that?
Did you hear that?
Yeah, I heard that.
It wasn't real loud though.
It's not really transferring over.
So let's do as much as we can here.
Okay.
All right.
Let's take our next break and come back with your KY story or something like that.
Right?
Yeah.
It's about KY 102.
Okay.
We'll be right back.
I smell bacon.
No way.
It's just Mark's sweating.
Next up, things overhead in hell.
Joe Buck and Troy Aitman are doing all televised and radio games of the NFL this year.
Oh shit.
What's that over there?
Oh no.
It's silent and horrible jokes.
They shiptied red paint and they shiptied blue paint.
They were all moored.
Our constant pursuit for a real knee slapper.
It's strange insults from an alien.
Real hilarity.
May, your five year old neighbor have all their violin lessons during all of your hangovers.
Now it's time for pick up lines from a loser.
Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?
Hi all.
This is Chicago.
I am the most dangerous city in North America.
You can't touch me.
Oh yeah?
This is Kansas City here.
Hold my beard bitch.
Tomorrow morning while grinding your coffee beans for your double mocha latte, remember
to not get your genitals caught in the grinder.
It really hurts.
Who can afford plastic surgery?
Stay safe everyone.
We are two douchebags in microphone.
As charming as a leaky sewer pipe.
And now deep thoughts with Marv.
Let's see.
If I identify as a dog and I start wandering around the block without a collar on, could
animal control come by and pick me up?
I may never know.
Two douchebags in microphone, I'm Mark.
And I am Rob.
Rob where are you?
BFE.
Okay.
No actually I'm in an undisclosed location.
I came with a friend camping and I am in a tent right now.
And we're about to have a bunch of mortar fire work.
In a two douchebags in microphone shirt and a loin cloth.
Yes I am.
Yes I am in the shirt and the loin cloth.
But I have to, I was forced to promise to change back into my shorts before I leave
the tent.
Fair enough.
No, don't trust me.
They're crazy but they're trying to tame it down this year.
From what I hear I missed a crazy year last year.
Okay.
Alright Rob you got a KY story.
I'm kind of anxious to hear this.
I'm surprised it did not come out of your mouth or have you not heard about it.
Because this came out three days ago dude.
Does it have to do with the reunion?
Yes.
Okay yeah I think I did.
Go ahead, go ahead.
Radio station KYYS known as KY102 was the mainstay of the FM radio dial for more than
20 years in the 1970s, 80s and 1990s.
And this is a station me and Mark are talking about all the time.
We cut our teeth on this.
It's a station we grew up, yeah everybody knows this.
Later this month the personalities that helped turn the station into an album rock powerhouse
are gathering together one last time for a 50th reunion.
Wow.
I already feel old but now I feel older.
No actually I feel good.
Go ahead.
Oh fuck yeah trust me.
I feel good.
Go ahead.
I slept on Aramatherson at 10 last year.
I feel old.
And woke up at 545 before everybody else.
Yeah I understand right.
You know what?
I'll go ahead and let me finish this and I'll get into it.
Okay sounds good.
So, parties like Max Boyd, Dick Wilson, Stan Andrews, Spike Canty, Skid Rody and others
are scheduled to attend the 50th anniversary on Friday June 28th at Knucklehead Saloon
in the Northeast Industrial District.
Knuckleheads was Kansas City's first amusement park.
Did you know that?
Yes I did.
Okay.
Anyhow go ahead.
The station broadcast and the album rock format from July.
Oh no it just goes into the history.
Okay.
Yeah.
June 28th.
Next Friday, this coming Friday, June 28th, they're all going to be at Knucklehead Saloon
which I have a Knucklehead's Thule in my hand right now thanks to Good Friends.
Awesome.
A mine up in the city.
So yeah I definitely want to go to Knucklehead.
But yeah I would love you to go to that.
I'm thinking I'm going to.
I'm going to go to that.
I might attend but man there's going to be a lot of people there and I'm not sure if
everyone's going to get in.
Yeah I thought it was just going through my mind.
There's going to be a lot of people turned away I'm predicting.
You ain't going to be able to get in.
Yeah so hmm.
Oh well.
But it's nice to know they're going to do a bit.
I hope they put it on air somewhere.
Possibly the Fox?
Well the Fox did all that stuff with Slacker.
All right.
It might be online.
You know the Fox impressed me because they let Slacker play the old KY.
Well him and Max play the old KY IDs.
Which was fantastic.
I couldn't believe they let him do it.
I didn't think they would.
And that's where my proudest one here.
My proudest bit is actually really nostalgic.
And it's like it has the electronic the robot voice two douchebags and microphone.
And then I go we talk Kansas City.
That came from something that sounded a lot like that from KY 102 and their big emblem
was KY 102.
We rock Kansas City.
So it's a take on that and it's a salute to them.
So anyhow Rob you had another story or something?
Let's see which one do I want to do.
How about this.
We were talking about artists getting old.
Willard Nelson's team has provided an update on the musician after his latest live performance
was abruptly canceled.
I hear the dog.
The Outlaw Musical Festival stopped in Alpharetta, Georgia on Friday June 21st.
The message shared to Nelson's social media accounts revealed that the country crooner
would not be taking the stage for health reasons.
We were directed to inform you that Willie Nelson is not feeling well and per doctor's
orders has been advised to rest for the next four days.
The statement shared on Instagram and X on my Twitter.
I'm just going to start saying X.
I know Elon Musk I thought he was an idiot for doing that.
No I get it now.
You talk about Twitter twice as long as you used to.
So anyway.
According to his team Nelson 91 is expected to make a quick recovery and join the Outlaw
Music Festival tour next week.
Cool.
I guess this was just something brief.
Yeah see he was just down here at Lake of the Ozarks.
Yeah that's what you're saying.
He would be a treat to watch I'm sure.
Well everybody said he's getting in a chair now.
That's all he could do.
You know what that's all he has to do.
It's just like the Walsh show.
Yeah his voice does it all.
His voice and his guitar.
Yeah I'm not expecting a whole lot from these elders that are playing music.
I just want to see them one last time and I think you're at that page too right?
Oh yeah one last time.
That's why actually I think tomorrow is going to be the day I'm going to buy the Molly
Hatchet tickets.
Oh Molly fucking Hatchet.
It's my last time.
Molly fucking Hatchet.
Last time probably ever I will ever get to see them.
And they're going to be right outside my back door.
Alright well if I can do it I'm going to head down there but there is contingent on some
other things going on and I'm not blowing you off Rob.
I really want to go.
There's some stuff going on that I really just don't want to get into that I may have
to be around here.
If not I plan on going down there man.
I would love to see Molly fucking Hatchet.
Hell yeah.
Excellent.
Well Rob do you want to go into anything else or do you want to go join the fireworks festivities?
Actually I'm thinking they might be trying to be courteous to me because it's dark and
yeah they've shot up a couple but I think well they know I'm in here podcasting.
They might be being courteous.
Rob go have fun.
Yeah I think we should wrap this up and we will get back at it tomorrow night brother.
Alright Rob thank you so much.
I was up at 5.45 sitting outside in a lawn chair enjoying the morning air and I was
like you know what I should be doing.
What?
And I grabbed my notebook, my phone, I did tonight's show and I have tonight's show ready
so I don't have to shit tomorrow I'll be ready tomorrow night brother.
That's what I do in Eureka Springs the sun's rising I'm out there writing.
Enjoying the air, enjoying the air, nobody around.
I love it.
It's a good way to get creative.
Out in the sticks.
Yep.
Alright well thank you Rob so much.
Hi Grandma Opal, hi Jimmy, hi Ricky, hi Dot City Kansas.
Hi Grandma Opal, hi Ricky, hi Jimmy.
Hi the world.
Hi Dot City Kansas.
Yes, hi everybody.
I've got a new, you know what I'll tell you tomorrow off air when we first get on.
I've got a new bit that I'm working on kind of in that.
Anyhow I was saying about like okay this is something related to but not it.
Okay I'm thinking about doing a bit and put it onto the first block because okay the guy
announcing us, the daily pledge, the no journalistic integrity disclaimer and then the we talk Kansas
City and then I'm thinking about just you and I both going hi Grandma Opal, hi Jimmy,
you know hi Ricky, hi all Dot City Kansas.
Do a promo.
Yeah and then we'll just stick it in there and I'm just going to put it on the front.
The whole show beginning.
No, no, no, I disagree.
Okay go ahead.
I disagree Mark.
Yeah go ahead.
We need to keep this personal for Grandma Opal.
This started about Grandma Opal.
You know what you're right, you're right.
Sorry Grandma Opal, Rob is right.
We owe you more respect than that.
We need to stay it out of our mouth.
Okay.
Well thank Rob on this one because I would have skipped right over it.
I completely forgot about it so anyhow but we love you guys and thank you for listening.
I love you Grandma Opal.
If that email I read was real, hi everybody in El Dorado, Kansas.
I can't read or not El Dorado, fuck Dodge City Kansas.
El Dorado.
Dodge City Kansas.
Yeah, yeah sorry.
I got, we had someone write from El Dorado, Kansas today.
Yeah, yeah that's where you got me there.
I'll get back to that.
No me too.
I said the same thing.
If that email was true.
We're human.
Yeah.
There's like ten names on there that wanted us to mention and it's like we can't do that.
It would be the most boring show ever.
Hi Fred.
Hi Reggie.
Hi Elaine.
Hi Fred.
Hi Wilma.
Hi Barney.
Hi Betty.
Hi Dino.
Hi Bam Bam.
Hi Pebbles.
Yeah, yeah.
So anyhow, I should have never included Jimmy in that whole thing.
No disrespect to you Jimmy.
But we should.
No Jimmy was the grandson.
He was the one that downloaded it.
No Ricky.
It was Ricky.
Ricky was the other one.
Yeah Ricky was the one.
Yeah sorry Jimmy.
Which we love you Ricky.
We do.
Thank you for listening.
Yeah but.
It's about Grandma and Jimmy.
Yeah so anyhow Dodge City Kansas we love you guys.
So anyhow I'll tell you about the promo tomorrow unless you want to hear it when we click off
here.
So anyhow thank you.
No actually I'm telling you they're waiting on me.
Matter of fact I just heard somebody say are you ready.
Okay alright.
Thank you assholes for listening.
Have a good night.
Good night assholes.
Hope I don't get blown up.
Hey remember to get into your shorts.
No loin cloth.
Yeah that's what I'm doing first.
Okay we are officially out.
I can't get kicked out of here dude.
I'm too far to walk home.
Put your shorts on.
In the dark.
Are they George's or are they real shorts?
No I got like Carpenter Jeans shorts.
Oh okay alright so they're kind of George's.
Okay alright cool.
Alright thank you bye.
They cover just a tad bit more of my loin cloth.
Excellent.
Oh no looks like the show's over kids.
Thank you bye.
Mark has explosive diarrhea and can't afford to wipe his mouth.
Fear not assholes.
They'll be back invading your ear holes soon.