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Hi all. This is Chicago. I am the most dangerous city in North America.
You can't touch me.
Oh yeah? This is Kansas City here. Hold my beer, bitch.
Two Deucebags in a Microphone. I'm Mark.
And I am Rob.
Rob, how you doing?
I'm doing alright. Things are going to get interesting. We'll see.
Sounds like it.
You know what? Just sit back and watch the fireworks, right?
Yeah, yeah. That's all I can do. That's all I can do.
And honestly, I'm set up enough right now. If I don't like it, I can buy me a nice little truck, have enough money to live on for a while, and find me something else.
You know, if it comes down to it. But we'll see.
Yeah, we'll see. Give them the benefit of the doubt and then after that take it as it has.
Management's changing. So...
Yeah.
Everybody knows what that's like.
Well, I mean, this is what I was taught from a long time ago and it's true.
The management positions, you're there to get fired.
Because whenever something goes wrong...
Honestly, well, okay, I'm not going to go into it. Go ahead, you're right.
Yeah. Yeah. Whenever something goes wrong, you're the person that it falls on.
It's like, well, I hired you to take care of, to make sure everything went right. This went wrong. So we're going to cleanse ourselves. We're going to let you go.
And then everyone starts over. And the next guy may be better. He may be worse or he may be about the same.
But the thing is, is that's the way the system works. You're there to be clipped eventually.
I've never known a manager... I'm talking about manufacturing, not where I'm at now or other places, but manufacturing...
Yeah, yeah. I'm in manufacturing, yeah.
I've never known a manager to go unscathed. I've never known one. They've always eventually been fired.
And I was taught that from day one. Or quit. Or quit. Yes.
So anyhow, I mean, if you're into that, you want to make more money and you want to go home with your gut burning and fucking puking up acid and eventually getting fired, go for it.
Whatever. So anyhow, I've got better things to do with my life and not worry about shit like that.
So anyhow, I was talking to a workmate and anyhow, he just got back from a trip from San Antonio.
And I mean, they work long hours and all this stuff and everything. And anyhow, he's doing pretty good.
He's expecting another granddaughter coming up in about six months. Very happy for him.
Awesome. Awesome.
Yeah. I don't know him, but congratulations. But my kids are the best.
I'll tell him, man, you know what? I mean, you'd love him. If you met him, you'd love him. He's a good guy and very funny. Odd guy. Love him.
Anyhow, I remembered something. We were talking about some stuff. You know, I went out of town with this guy a lot.
And I remembered something after we got done talking earlier. And there's this guy we used to work with, OK?
And he was he was a nonstop smoker. I mean, he couldn't smoke in the company truck.
So that's if we wouldn't fly in there, you know, we'd have to take the company truck.
And so as soon as he would go to these rest stops, he'd jump out as fucking chain smoke, like five cigarettes just and they jump back in the truck and we go.
So he was such a smoker that he didn't like to leave his room. He'd like to smoke in his room.
So he had this little gimmick that worked and we couldn't believe it. He did this down in Wichita.
And anyhow, he walks up to his room and I'm down there in the lobby. I'm still waiting for my room.
You know, they're still trying to figure out, you know, OK, we can give you one oh seven or something like that.
OK, and we're sitting there waiting for our rooms. He got his first.
He comes right down and he goes to the chick at the front desk. He goes, hey, I just want to let you know, I smell smoke in my room.
Oh, OK, we'll switch out. We'll switch. No, no, no, no, no. I'll stay there.
The whole thing is, is I just want to let you know that if they say something about it smelling like smoke, I went ahead of time and I told you it smelled like smoke.
Isn't that brilliant? So then when he smugs, he put a towel on the doors.
Well, then if someone if someone complains or if they get in the room afterwards to clean, they go, man, this smells like an ashtray.
He'll go, uh, wasn't me. I went to the lady at the desk and I told her that it smelled like smoke and he's free and clear.
It was a brilliant gimmick and it worked. So, you know, me and my friend, I can say his first name, me and my friend Steve were just sitting there with our mouths open going, how in the hell do you do that?
So, so anyhow, it was funny. OK, so anyhow, I'm going to start off in the what the fuck department. That sound about right?
Why not? OK, the surgeon general wants to put a warning label on all social media.
OK, yeah, I know, I know. Bear with me here. I'm going to try to keep a straight face. Is the surgeon general over food, drugs?
Yeah, yeah, he's alcohol and tobacco and all this stuff. What's he got to do with the Internet?
Well, he thinks he does anyhow. OK, I'm sure that'll keep teams teams from logging on.
I mean, there's so much history of warning labels working like, let's see, the PMRC put warning labels on the music and sure enough, it's sold five times more.
Dumb shit outlawing anything in a teens playground. It is because as soon as you outlawed every teen in America is running to that.
So if you say, hey, hey, we're putting a warning label on on social media that the couple here and there that don't they'll be on it, too.
It's one of the stupidest fucking ideas I've ever heard in my life. And it's not going to do anything.
What? Go ahead.
I would just take you to the feed and draw people's attention that ain't on it. Just like you just said.
Well, he's supposed to be there to watch over and help us.
Yeah, he's supposed to watch over. Hey, if you put a warning label on it, it's like you said, people are going to attack.
I remember Aerosmith. It's going to gain more numbers.
I remember Aerosmith thanked the PMRC. He said, you just helped us sell another million albums. Appreciate it.
And this is the same thing. So, you know, you want to kill you want to help kids out.
How about outlaw ridiculously high taxes? Maybe the younger generations can buy a house, too.
How about outlaw special interest in interest influencing special interest influencing is horrible.
And all it does is people are paying money and shouting the loudest.
And then these small groups of people get their way all the time. It's bullshit.
I could go on, but, you know, we're dick jokes, right? Yeah. All right.
So I said enough. Next. Justin Bieber was arrested in New York on suspicion of drunk driving.
The tip that led to his arrest was the new song he put out. He obviously was trashed.
Right. Right. Right. Right. OK. So something pretty cool just came out.
It looks to be bees that have been trained to smell cancer in a human.
This is still being tested, but looks very promising.
So CBS has a new training for bees. It's bees that could smell a good script.
Also bees that will attack shows like Ghosts or any other type of sitcom they will ever produce.
I'm thinking the bees can be trained for a variety of other tasks, such as shitty drivers.
Have a pack of trained bees in the backseat.
And when a dumb fuck cuts you off, send a little winged assassins at said idiot and bam.
Instant video that the surgeon general can slap a warning label on when it hits tick tock. Ten minutes later. Right.
Yeah. Yeah. This time we here at who we here at two douchebags and a microphone have no plans to ask paddle summer.
We officially learned our lesson when we paddled Mother Nature. Right.
Summer is part of Mother Nature. Yes.
But you know, it's been pretty brutal here lately and you know, Mother Nature is kind of brutal on us.
And then we gave her an ass paddling and then then we were like really, really getting, you know, I mean, she went crazy on us.
And then we apologized. Go ahead. What? Just for the record. It was you that brought her up for the ass paddling.
Yes, it was me. Not me. Not me. It was me.
So I'm officially saying summer, you're not getting ass paddling. We love you.
That sound about right. Yeah. And I'm going camping this weekend. Thank you.
OK. Yeah. I'm going to save your camping trip by apologizing beforehand to summer.
And we love you summer. No problems with you at all. And Mother Nature, same to you. So.
OK. So now this is for you think you're having a bad day department.
A couple from Greenfield, Iowa that survived an EF4 tornado after wrecked their home a few weeks back.
They were found yesterday in critical condition from stab wounds at an I-80 rest stop.
Can you believe that? They survived a tornado and then they're out, I don't know, vacationing or going somewhere.
And they get stabbed almost to death and they might die still.
They're in critical condition at a rest stop on I-80.
They survived a tornado, an EF4 hitting their house and tearing it up.
And they lived through it only to get stabbed two weeks later to almost death and maybe death at a rest stop.
That's having a bad day to a horrible day. Agreed?
That's that saying you need to wake the fuck up. Just saying.
If they survive this, I'm thinking they need to. Sorry for the language even though we can say it.
You need to wake up. You need to re-evaluate your life at that point.
It's not their fault. They got hit by the tornado and then they're just driving down I-70.
Maybe they're going to go see Aunt Betty or something.
So anyhow, they're at a rest stop probably using the bathroom and they get stabbed to almost death after being hit by a tornado.
That's horrible luck.
Well, that's right. Once again, that's right too.
If they survive this, I'm thinking they need to buy some lottery tickets because when their luck changes, it will be huge. Agreed?
Yes. Yes.
Now, let's examine Greenfield.
I will never ever live in a town named Greenfield.
And that is because two towns named Greenfield were destroyed by tornadoes.
One in Kansas quite a few years back and then the more recent one Greenfield, Iowa.
Yeah.
So if you don't like having your house destroyed and your neighbor's house destroyed and being woken up at 2 a.m. by a huge supercell, don't move to any town named Greenfield.
It will probably happen.
There is a Greenfield, Missouri just for the record.
Alright. I'm staying away from there.
So and finally, why she commanders to pay one point three million dollars settlement in a Virginia Virginia season ticket lawsuit.
It was no minor accounting error that kept Washington commanders fans from getting their security posits back for tickets to upcoming games.
It was simply greed, said Virginia Attorney General Jason Maieras.
Under the agreement, about six hundred thousand in security deposits could be returned to the team and could be returned to the the seat owners.
And the team will pay another six hundred thousand in fines as well as one hundred thousand dollars in attorney fees.
A spokesperson for the commander said, no problem.
It isn't like we're going to be having to pay a good quarterback a lot of money anytime soon.
So that is a rather smaller edition of the first third.
So, Rob, we turn to you.
All right, I'm going to go back to a legendary movie.
Sounds good to me.
Well, something I found out about it.
OK.
Back in the 80s, the film made cars even cooler than ever, especially Lamborghini.
Yeah.
Now, just celebrate the 43rd anniversary of the legendary film.
It stars every night with both each other and the vehicle that made the franchise a must see.
Cannonball Run.
Oh, oldie, better goodie.
Stars, Adrian Barbeau and Tara Butlin were snapped with the iconic Lamborghini Kudos LP 400S, which they drove in the movie.
Nice.
Cannonball Run released in June 1981 saw a lady star as Marcy Thatcher and Joe Rivers,
spandex plaid racers who enter a cross country car race starting in Connecticut.
For the race, they chose a black Lambo for style as well as substance.
Cool.
They started opposite of Burt Reynolds, who played competing racer J.J.
McClure with D Martin, Sammy Davis Jr., Jackie Chan and Fer Fawcett also make an appearance.
I forgot Jackie Chan was in that.
OK.
Yeah. Well, after 43 years, they got back to Adrian Barbeau and Tara Butlin got back together.
Cool.
That car and had a picture taken.
OK.
I mean, come on, that was iconic in the movie world.
Yeah.
It was just teenage boys.
Yeah.
That very cool.
They had spandex outfits, but there was a lot of bust showing.
Oh, there was a lot of everything showing.
I agree.
So, Rob, when I called you up, who was you listening to again?
I was listening to our friends at Let's Get to the Bottom of That.
That podcast is fantastic.
I love it.
If you like conspiracy theories, and they admit they are conspiracy theorists.
OK.
And like I told you before we were on air, you and Jason had this mutual agreement when
we gave each other a shout out.
Well, it's not just a shout out.
Jason gave us one.
It's not just a shout out.
We really truly enjoy their show.
It's a good show.
Oh, I do.
I do.
Yeah.
You have a little bit more time than I do because I'm always working on this pile of
rubble.
But, you know, I mean, I listen to it every chance that I get.
So, and also I listen to other, I don't know, bigger shows and stuff like that too.
Well, let's see the thing is they only put out one show a week.
We'll put out four.
I know.
He was amazed by the catalog.
I was like, yeah, we'll mess around.
We put out a lot of stuff.
I mean, I don't know.
We're bored.
Yeah.
Yeah, we're bored.
That's it.
No, actually, I'm anything but bored anymore.
I've always got something to do.
Oh, true.
Today I was getting this.
I did too.
I had to get the swimming pool ready and it's been a real treat.
Not really.
Anyhow, so that.
I tell you, you need to hire me as a pool boy.
Come on up here.
You're hired.
Trust me.
I only charge you 50 grand a year just so I can live.
Oh, okay.
All right.
You're fired.
Sorry.
Anyhow, well, all right.
That is the opening segments.
So let's take our first break and come right back.
That sound good?
Sounds great.
All right.
That's what will happen.
As much fun as an electric can opener to the scrotum.
Two douche bags and a microphone.
Tomorrow morning while grinding your dirt.
Tomorrow morning while grinding your coffee beans for your double mocha latte.
Remember to not get your genitals caught in the grinder.
It really hurts.
Who can afford plastic surgery?
Stay safe everyone.
And now, deep thoughts with Mark.
Is every mirror in a store technically used?
I may never know.
Next up, things overheard in hell.
Well, that new Hanson CD is just a laptop.
Uh-huh.
Two douche bags and a microphone in an effort to keep everything fresh.
We offer you first world problems.
Damn it.
The city services website is down again.
I can't believe this.
I'm going to have to actually call and talk to someone to pay my damn trash bill.
This is ridiculous.
Now it's time for pick up lines from a loser.
Do you believe in love at first sight?
Or should I walk by again?
Hello.
This is Satan.
You might know me from my pet name, Inflation.
I'm here to tell you that there's no better way to relax than listening to two douche bags and a microphone by a nice warm fire at night.
I sit there and I reflect on all the souls I burned that day.
Enjoy.
Two douche bags and a microphone.
And a hammer up.
Um, Rob, we're both Sabbath fans, right?
Oh, definitely.
I've got two back to back stories, but you're going to do something in between.
This first one is about Tony Iommi and the second one is about Deep Purple.
The two bands that I was questioned about and then we went to you and you felt the same way.
Sabbath edged them out a little bit.
I've got two good stories that I just found today.
No, I think it's yesterday, but anyhow, it doesn't matter.
All right.
During the annual New Year message back in January, Riff Godfather, Tony Iommi, teased fans about a really good solo album that he's been cooking up in the studio.
And now he's offered an update on its progress.
The good news is it's coming along nicely and might use some orchestration, he said.
The not so good news is there isn't a timeline for its release.
An interview with Full Metal Jackie.
Have you listened to Full Metal Jackie?
No, I have not.
She has an online show and a radio show and a podcast show, I believe.
All of those.
She's excellent.
I mean, she's a metal chick and she interviews names like Tony Iommi.
I've heard of her.
I just have not had chance to listen to her.
I'm a big fan of her.
But anyhow, the Black Sabbath legend says he's written a lot of stuff for the album, which would be his first solo record since 2005's Fused and his first new music since feature since featuring on Ozzy's latest album, Patron number nine in 2022.
But I have a problem with this right here.
Fused was Tony Iommi and Glenn Hughes.
It was a split project and both of their names was on it.
It was not a solo project from Tony Iommi.
It was Glenn Hughes and Tony Iommi together coming up with the Fused album.
So I think they got that wrong.
And if and if you doubt me, take a look and take a look at the credits and how everything is written.
I'm pretty sure that it was a split album.
It was a collaboration and both of them got the equal amount of credit, which would make that not being a solo album.
But you know what?
I mean, whatever. Still, I'm writing stuff now for my own album.
He says that's exciting and there's no pressure.
I just do stuff when I feel like it, because obviously I've got a life to live and I like to do all different kinds of stuff.
Last month, I only remembered the the time he co-wrote a Black Sabbath song with Eddie Van Halen.
Although the band was not able to credit the guitar legend for his contributions, because I believe because of contractual reasons.
Remember that story? Eddie Van Halen couldn't.
Yeah, I think he had some due contract.
I think their contract, Van Halen's, was tied to Warner Brothers.
So he is kind of a ghostwriter, if you will, a collaboration ghostwriter.
He couldn't get any credit on it.
Anyhow, and in related news, Iommi's former bandmate, Geeser Butler, revealed plans for one final Black Sabbath show, Aura Foot.
And he and Osborne are already on board.
And so, so Geeser, Iommi said yes, and Ozzy was the one that came up with the idea.
Black Sabbath, the original lineup with Bill Ward, they want to do a final show in Birmingham, New England, where it all started, where they all came from.
The thing that I read on Geeser the other day is Geeser said that he's not sure if Bill Ward, because of health reasons, would be able to do a full show.
But here's what I'm thinking.
Think about Ozzy.
That's what I was getting ready to say.
I think Ozzy's only good for maybe six songs, and I think it's going to have to be like that between him and Ward, maybe six, seven songs.
And that's it.
They're going to have to stop.
I mean, you know, Ozzy, he's not in really good shape.
They're not going to have to have a hell of a lineup just to get money for like six or seven songs.
Yes.
To make it worth the money.
Well, I don't know about the money they charge and all that. Of course there's going to be scalping.
You know, of course people are going to be wanting to go.
Come on, the money is going to be up there.
You know, if they get back together, the tickets are going to be expensive.
Yeah, but I don't think it's going to be on their level.
I don't think this is a money grab on their level.
I think this is a respect deal.
It's a respect deal.
Right. I think it is, too.
Ozzy feels really...
I think it is a thank you to all of us fans.
Yeah, for all I know, the tickets might be free. I don't know.
But here's what I have to say is this right here.
Osborne and company want to say thank you to where it all began.
And also it's a nice little bow tie to finish up their careers.
You know, Sabbath is not going to be anymore and he wants that final show.
So I guess officially they're still together.
And then when they do that final show, that will be it forever.
Kind of like what Kiss did, you know, they said our last show, Madison Square Garden.
Then they promptly sold the rights to all their stuff, including their name.
So there's some avatar company, I believe.
Yeah, some avatar company.
Yeah, so I mean, this might be the same type of deal.
I don't know if they're going to sell their music or whatever.
Or I don't even know who even owns it.
I do not see them doing that.
I don't either. I don't.
They're too classic. They're too.
Yeah, I think I only is really personal with the music that he that he comes up with.
He he really takes a really great deal of pride in it.
And I don't see him giving up the rights to that for anything.
So anyhow, we'll see what happens.
But I do. I am convinced that if they do do this show, that it will be the final show.
And if and if Bill Ward can do six or seven songs, I think it will happen.
So anyhow, we'll keep our fingers crossed.
And here's what I'm hoping for.
I was talking to Davey about this, and we both hope this happens.
Pay-per-view. I will watch it on pay-per-view.
I won't watch it live on pay-per-view.
See the last one. Have a little party.
You know, and that's it.
Oh, you'll eventually find it.
You know, but yeah, pay-per-view would be best.
Yeah, you know, if like I think they would make more money towards their retirement doing pay-per-view.
Yes. And I think that the interest would be phenomenal in it.
So, yes, yeah, this would be many saboteurs.
Oh, wow. And this would be guaranteed the last show.
There's not going to be another one.
They simply cannot do it anymore.
So and they need to get on it quick.
There's one and only no tour.
Yeah, they need to get on it quick too because I don't Ozzy's health doesn't seem to be that good, although they're not saying that.
I'm kind of reading between the lines, seeing footage, watching him.
And Bill Ward is definitely in bad shape.
Geezer's in great shape and Tony Iommi for having leukemia in fantastic shape.
So anyhow, that's the way it stands and we're going to go to you and then we're going to come back to me for a deep purple story.
Well, I want to stay in music, but I'm going to switch to country.
OK.
The son of an all time country music legend announced over Father's Day weekend that he has found a trove of unleashed unreleased work by his father and archive of full band music and documentation way beyond beyond his wildest fantasies.
Huh?
There will be a new classic Waylon Jennings.
Oh, how are you thousand twenty five?
Yay.
Shooter Jennings promised on Instagram and Facebook.
Stay tuned.
That is fantastic.
Shooter Jennings began his post with the story of a locked storage room in the house he grew up in.
I knew what was in those boxes was my dad's work, he wrote.
He said that after his father's death, tapes were collected in storage and various studios and our content transferred to digital drives.
But he hasn't.
But he wasn't ready to grapple with them until recently.
I didn't have the time, the tools or the resources, he wrote.
Or maybe I just wasn't ready for that change, he said.
When he found himself with the right studio resources and an engineer radio assist, he knew the trove might contain a few unreleased songs, he said, that he hoped to find something special and rare along the way that I could share with you.
Instead, he said he found a massive historical documentation of a man and a band with an incredible friendship, work ethic and deep passion for playing and recording music.
Wow, that is great news.
So it sounds like there is going to be a new Waylon Jennings album coming out in 2025.
I'm also a big fan of Shooter Jennings too.
Yeah, I have too.
Wow, that's great, man. New Waylon Jennings music. Who would have thought?
That's excellent.
And stuff that was stored.
Yeah, that's fantastic, man. And Shooter is doing his dad's legacy right.
Oh my God, yeah, he's right there. He's right there.
That's awesome. Awesome. Good. Thank you, Rob. That's a great story.
Well, everybody knows that, you know, you and I are huge Purple fans, as in Deep Purple.
We know there's many incarnations of Purple. I mean, there's a famous MK1. I'll go through a little bit of it.
The first one was with the singer Mike Evans. That was the first album and that was the first lineup.
The second lineup was with Ian Gillan as the lead singer and, you know, Blackmore on guitar, Lorde on keyboards, Pace on drums and Glover on bass.
A few years later, I don't know, maybe like 10 years later or so, Ian Gillan and Roger Glover both left and David Coverdell and Glenn Hughes replaced them.
They both did. Glenn Hughes and David Coverdell both did four or five albums with them.
A couple with Richie Blackmore and then a couple would not with Tommy Bolan, who passed away a long time ago in a car wreck.
OK, so to be in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, all you need to do is make two albums with a band.
So the Hughes Coverdell MK5 or whatever it is lineup, OK, they call it MK1, MK2 and all this. It's like MK5 or some incarnation this lineup.
So that that was so iconic in itself that both Coverdell and Hughes got to go into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame when Deep Purple was inducted.
So I think that's what's going on here is I think that the other Purple members that now remember Ian Gillan wasn't even an original member.
They got him on the second album. I think that there is a certain amount of they think that the other guys were frauds and which they're not.
The other guys are very accomplished musicians and very good and they did great music with with Deep Purple when they did it.
So anyhow, Glenn Hughes says Deep Purple members were very hurtful and rude to him.
And David Coverdell, I will never speak to any of them again, said Hughes. Gillan was rude to me on stage accepting the award.
I want to congratulate him. He looked at me in the eyes like I didn't exist.
Glenn Hughes recalled that he described as Ian Gillan, Roger Glover's rude behavior, Deep Purple's induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, adding that he doesn't want to speak to any of them again.
Hughes time and Purple ended up being among the crowning jewels of both parties careers.
Haven't arrived just as a vocalist, Ian Gillan and bassist Roger Glover left the voice of rock.
Albeit originally recruited as a bassist, provided a key component for the beloved Hard Rocks bands to lead singer thing alongside David Coverdell.
Despite the impact that is his tenure with Purple left on the fans, the band's history and that of rock music itself, there seems to be a little bit of love lost between the iconic singer and his former bandmates.
Well, OK, Glover and Gillan he was never bandmates with because that's who David Coverdell and Glenn Hughes replaced.
So in a new interview with Guitar Interactive Magazine, Glenn Hughes looked back on his induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame as a member of Deep Purple in 2016 and what he describes doesn't sound pretty.
Referring to Gillan and Glover and drummer Ian Pace, Hughes said via Louder Magazine, I will never speak to any of them again simply because they were rude.
Both Roger Ian and Gillan were rude to David Coverdell and I. Very, very hurtful.
I didn't give a fuck. Actually, it's because I knew they were rude to begin with.
So anyhow, he said he went on to say I was only Superman there. I don't care about those guys.
Gillan was rude to me on stage, accepting the award. I went to congratulate him. He looked me in the eyes like I didn't exist.
The guy has a problem with me. Period. I'll let him run with it.
I feel bad for him. I'm really sorry about his wife passing away. His wife of 40 years died in 2022. I tried to reach out to him. He doesn't want to know.
The vocalists then went on to claim that he's been trying to mend his ties with Gillan for years, only to receive no response.
I tried to make some kind of friendship with him over the last 40 years. He doesn't want to know. David Coverdell and I don't exist him.
I wish him only the very best, but I have no time left for that behavior.
I find that disturbing because I think that Gillan being he was the iconic member of Deep Purple and all those huge songs like Highway Star, Smoke on the Water, Women from Tokyo, right?
His voice was recognized pretty much as Deep Purple's voice.
I think that that kind of talent should be recognized. The other kind of talent too. Glenn Hughes is almost his opposite on voice and he plays bass very well.
I don't know why Ian Gillan doesn't admire him like Glenn Hughes seems to admire Gillan.
It baffles me why he would have a problem with him because those guys left on their own. They weren't though now the band.
They left on their own. Richie Blackmore wanted to keep the band going so he found a couple of really good replacements.
He went on and he did a hit album Burn which sold very well and had a top hit in it.
It wasn't like these guys came in and just did shitty music. They came in and did really top notch music too.
I don't understand. It's really disappointing that Ian Gillan, who I like a lot, would treat him like this or anyone else.
Anyhow, that's all I got. I'm off my pulpit. I just find it sad that they're acting like this.
Rob, we turn to you.
Okay, where am I going? The 14 Jobs Notorious for Underpaying Employees.
Okay.
And this is online.
Okay.
Teachers. Teachers working in elementary schools aside from those in special education make $63,930 annual on average.
Mm-hmm.
Oh, don't do that.
Yeah, I would agree with that. All the schooling they have.
Well, now we're getting lower.
Okay.
Next we have security guards. Security guard jobs bring in an average of $36,700.
Wow. That's pretty low.
Yeah, yeah. Some of these job titles and what they do, it's amazing.
Yeah.
Emergency Medical Technicians, EMTs.
EMTs make about $40,120 a year annually.
Uh-huh.
For saving people's lives.
I know. I've known that and that's why I'm not surprised by it. It sucks.
Okay, next social workers. Despite a high level of responsibility, social workers earn relatively low pay with the average of $55,350 annually.
That's another one you think would command a higher salary because of the working conditions, because of everything involved. Yeah.
Yeah. I mean, your schooling you have to take and deal with these people.
Yeah, yeah. And then also having to go into bad situations where kids are being abused, all different kinds of things.
And having to try to, you know, you have to go to court a lot of times and tell the court what you witnessed.
So there's probably people very mad at you, wanting to hurt you. Yeah, I get it.
Yeah, and they say it's very high stress.
Yeah, I would think it is.
Oh man, you would have to keep, you know, that confidence. You know, you just got to stay away from the emotions, you know.
And that'd be hard to do. It really would.
Oh yeah, it would.
Okay, next, nursing assistants. Nursing assistants make about $36,220 annually.
That is criminal also.
Oral release.
However, nursing assistants typically need to be certified through a state approved program, while oral release do not.
For those regions, oral release tend to have lower annual salaries of an average of $36,070.
Wow. Oh, wait a second.
$36,220 to $36,070. That ain't much lower.
No.
What, $150, whatever? Yeah.
I'm amazed that they can find people to do these jobs for that amount of money, honestly.
Next, cooks.
Cooks make about $33,940 annually.
However, chefs and head cooks earn an average of $56,520.
I would probably rather have a good cook than a good chef any day.
To me, a good cook realizes what good food is. A chef may not necessarily, by my experiences.
Chefs tend to get a little crazy and extravagant and put like a couple of beans on your plate and a couple of little things of lettuce to make it look good.
To me, a lot of it is a big bag of nothing. Show and ritz and that's it.
Cooks fill you up.
Yeah, cooks go and they cook your steak perfectly. It's perfectly seasoned.
Yeah, the mashed potatoes are spot on with a little bit of garlic, a little bit of salt, some cracked pepper.
Where, I don't know, some chefs are really good, don't get me wrong.
But some of them, to me, are just overrated as hell.
And I don't think their food is nearly worth what they think it is. So, anyhow, go ahead, Rob.
Alright, this next one, honestly, with having a three-year-old grandson right now, I think this is status one.
Okay.
Child care workers.
Yeah.
The work often goes far beyond just playing with children, but the average salary is on the low end at just $29,570 annually.
No wonder they can't find people to do that job.
Yeah.
And we're not talking nannies, we're just talking, you know.
No, we're talking about daycare and all of that.
Yeah, daycare.
Yeah, so.
That sucks.
Well, yeah, no wonder there's so much bullshit that goes on in certain ones of them. I mean, yeah.
You're not seeking out the best people, you're not commanding the best people with that kind of money. So.
Oh yeah, you can't find it. Yeah.
Yeah.
No wonder. Never mind, I'm not going there.
Okay.
Okay, next, hairdressers and stylists.
Uh huh.
The average salary for barbers, hairstylists, and cosmetologists is just $38,910 a year.
I would agree, but I will also say this.
If you're any good at all, you're making $100,000 and I'm not kidding.
You're always booked, you have people paying top money for your hair, and this goes to barbers and hairdressers both.
A good barber, I know some barbers and they're really good, and they make over $100,000 a year.
And that's simply because everybody wants their hair to look good and they will pay more to have the good guy do it.
Yes, I will give you that. I mean, my.
Now you're.
My late stepdad owned his own barber shop, so yeah.
You're talking about a sports clips or something like that or whatever.
Whatever.
Yeah.
But still, here's the other thing that they did not mention in that.
Okay.
Tips.
Oh, that's another one too, yeah.
Yeah, that's just their base salary.
Yeah.
And their tips, oh yeah, that could put you on the top.
Well, if they're any good at all, they're commanding good tips, I can tell you that.
All right, next we have delivery drivers.
Okay.
Average pay for delivery truck drivers and driver sales workers, which the BLS lumps together is $35,560 annually.
That's really low.
Yeah, I mean, you're done in my wages, man.
That's.
Yeah.
And I'm down in the sticks.
I mean, they're really not talking about like UPS and FedEx drivers and stuff like that or postal workers, postal workers.
They get a lot of shit and it's a horrible job because it tears you up.
Yeah.
I think they're talking like UPS and.
Just deliver, you know.
Yeah, yeah, they're not talking about the big guys.
Amazon drivers, whoever.
Yeah, yeah.
Yep, I'm pretty sure that's what they're talking about.
Or a guy that's in a courier service and he's taking checks, paychecks on a Thursday afternoon to a high rise in downtown, I don't know, Chicago or something.
You know what I mean?
Guys like that are courier services.
They don't make that much money unless you own the service.
Everyone else gets minimal pay.
Pretty much.
Yeah.
And the next one.
OK.
This one I've known to be the worst one.
OK.
Janitors.
Yes.
An average annual salary for janitors is about thirty one thousand nine hundred and ninety dollars.
Wow.
To clean up everybody's shit.
Come on.
I think a janitor should get paid a lot more than that for cleaning up.
Oh my God.
If they're a good janitor, I think they should get paid a lot more than that.
But to be fair, a lot of janitors are there just to fuck off.
Right?
Yeah.
Janitor work plus maintenance, which.
Rolled over into Janitor.
You know, when you're working in an office building for maintenance.
Well, yeah.
Go on calling a toilet, you know.
Yeah, there you are into the custodial arts right there.
So, yeah.
Next, taxi drivers.
OK.
The average annual salary for taxi drivers is thirty two thousand seven hundred and ten dollars.
Wow.
For risking your life every night.
That's just your wages.
But once again, you got your tips.
True.
Next, home health aides.
Yep.
Oh, wow.
Work schedules vary since many people with disabilities or serious illnesses require regular care.
The average salary remains on the low end at thirty thousand one hundred eighty dollars.
I'm surprised they have people do that because they're home health aid.
They go into very nasty situations and unpleasant situations.
Wow.
Yeah.
Wow.
I can't believe it pays that low.
But then again, I can believe it.
OK.
And finally, retail workers can't leave you out.
Yeah.
Retail workers are notoriously underpaid because they have to eat shit all day long from these
idiots that come in there.
Well, not all of them.
There's a lot of people that are nice, but certain people are going to be idiots and
belligerent and mean to you and think they can step all over you.
You know what I mean?
So yeah, I would agree with that.
And it's not a it can probably not be a very fun job.
So anyhow.
OK.
Well, here's the final tally on it.
OK.
Despite wearing many hats, sales, customer service and keeping stores clean, the average
salary for retail workers has remained low.
I believe it.
At thirty thousand seven hundred fifty dollars.
Wow.
That's peanuts.
Wow.
OK.
Here here.
And this article does throw this in.
Many of these jobs pay minimum wage or close to it.
Unfortunately, with the federal minimum wage still at seven twenty five an hour.
The pay for many difficult jobs has remained low.
Yep.
OK.
I know in Missouri, our minimum wage is seven twenty five.
Yeah, I mean, the federal maybe brother just moved from Missouri to North Carolina.
Uh huh.
And their minimum wage is still seven twenty five.
That's insane.
In North Carolina, with their cost of living.
That's insane.
That really is.
Wow.
All right.
We are way late for a second break.
Let's go ahead and take that real quick.
That sound good, Rob?
That's good, because I need to take a breath after all that.
All right.
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Toilet dish bags and microphone in an effort to keep everything fresh.
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A lot of podcasts just come from a can.
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Alright, we are back.
To Dish Bags and Microphone, I'm Mark.
And I'm Rob.
Alright, well you were talking about low paying jobs.
Yeah.
Okay, I have a report on the restaurant industry.
And this is the do's and don'ts of restaurants.
This is how people feel.
These are polls.
And this is how people feel about certain things about restaurants and how people act towards it and what they do in them.
So, first off, the restaurant industry is finally ending the horrible QR experiment.
The QR codes began popping up during the pandemic.
Yes, I know.
During the pandemic and overstate, it's welcome.
I know many people like I missed a lot of the menu due to having to enlarge the page and skipping around.
God forbid if you have a low battery.
If you have a low battery, you're not going to be able to see anything.
Then you're at the mercy of someone else going, hey, do they have a cod sandwich?
Oh, hang on a minute. Hang on a minute. I don't have any battery left. I can't tell.
So, I mean, it was out of necessity during the pandemic.
Now that that's supposedly over, I'm glad that they're ending it because it was stupid.
And I always ask for a paper menu.
And for a while there, I couldn't get one around Kansas City. It really pissed me off.
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
I would leave. I'd be like, all right. Yeah, that's OK.
We'll go somewhere that does have one.
A lot of times, you told me to look on my phone what you have on your menu and I'm sitting in your restaurant.
Exactly. I would have respected a big board.
A huge board that said most restaurants do have it on a big board.
Yeah, you have it on a big board.
Oh, the meatloaf. I guess I'll go with the meatloaf.
Yeah, that's 829 or whatever.
That's better than nothing.
Yeah. At least I could tell some of the specials and stuff. But, you know, anyhow.
Well, like we have mentioned on here, a lot of us older people have harder times with technology on our phones.
And you're expected to stick in a restaurant, get on your phone and order your meal.
No, no, no. I mean, yeah.
If I'm going to get on my phone or my meal, you're going to deliver.
Exactly. A lot of times the QR code wasn't even compatible with certain phones.
One time we're at a restaurant during the pandemic, both our phones, the QR code didn't agree with.
And they said they didn't have any paper menus. And, you know, that they're probably we didn't go back.
So I made our server get on her.
That's when you tell them, grab a piece of paper and a pencil.
Yeah. Well, at this other restaurant, we made our server get on her phone and recite the menu to us.
Guess what? They have paper menus and no more QR codes.
So this leads to restaurant etiquette and a restaurant poll of people who frequent restaurants, the do's and don'ts basically.
A recent Ugov survey about the acceptability of 40 restaurant behaviors.
Eight out of 10 people polled said it wasn't acceptable to say they won't pay for a dish they didn't like, but ate most of it.
I agree with that. I've seen that done before, haven't you?
They eat three quarters of it and go, I didn't like it.
Yeah, we dealt with that at Joseph and Jim's.
Yeah. Every restaurant ever worked out when I was a teenager, we dealt with that.
They'd eat three quarters of it and go, I didn't like it. Give me something else.
And most of the times it would be exactly like my reaction on it. Get the fuck out of here after you pay.
Yeah, but company policy says you gotta give it to them.
Yeah, now they do. Now they're like that, but independent restaurants that I worked at before didn't do that a lot.
They would be like, look, you ate 84% of it. No.
Well, yeah, yeah, you're right. You're right, Dad.
Now, speak of 84%. 84% pay for a dish they didn't like, but ate most of it.
84% said they didn't like people who let their kids roam in the restaurant freely. I agree.
I agree. Both of them are at 84%, so overwhelmingly people didn't like that, eating most of your meal and then saying you didn't like it and trying to get, you know, trying not to pay for it.
And 84% also did not like it when the kids were free range children inside the restaurant.
I've had that happen quite a bit and I can't stand it.
Little kid comes over there and like staring at you eating your food and then making faces and running around screaming.
It's like, no, it's like if you have a kid that can't behave, get out of here. Have it delivered.
Don't be fucking up my meal. And I'll be a real rude asshole about it, too. I've done it before.
I told you about the time. No, no, no. Back in the day, there was a lot of dads who would just do a big yawn and just clothesline the little fuckers that come running by.
Yeah, well that doesn't happen very much anymore. I was down at the City Market.
Yeah, well, yeah, with today's laws, you can't do that anymore.
Well, I was down at the City Market in our corner there. It was just me by myself. I was reading a book and I was drinking my iced coffee.
And this guy over there near the front of the of the coffee house, let his kid just run all over there.
You know, there's a bunch of hills and stuff. It's all concrete and he's running up and down screaming.
So he walks over to my table and I'm reading and before I could get up, he fucking grabbed my cup and drank out of it.
So I walked over there to the guy with my cup and I said, you can have this now. You know why your kid drank out of it.
You know why he drank out of it? Because you were not watching him.
And the guy he was talking to was like kind of like looking around and that guy's just sitting there with his mouth open.
And I walked off. He didn't say sorry or nothing. I could have beat that motherfucker to half to death.
And anyhow, you just sit there going, oh, and they got up and left. But anyhow, it pissed me off.
So anyhow, an 85 percent good thing, we're getting old.
Yes. If that been my early days, I would shove that kid up his ass.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
And 85 percent said that staying past the establishment hours wasn't cool as well.
Other pet peeves of customers are when someone asks to taste the wine before purchasing it,
asking for multiple modifications to the food item, taking an extended amount of time to order and leaving no tip after bad behavior.
Yeah, I always leave a tip, but I will leave like not a very good tip if someone's horrible service.
But I always do leave a tip.
I've just seen all of them that you just read off.
Yeah. Yeah. And I agree with everything that this says so far.
Other notable behaviors that hit that that hit the do not list are ask for a table near a power outlet to charge your phone.
I've done that numerous times.
I've been on. I have an issue with that because as many times I've been on vacation after several airports and Uber rides and car reservations, my battery is down to nothing.
And when I used to go out of town for work, I used to depend on restaurants to charge my phone up while I'm eating.
So I kind of have a problem with that. OK. Well, I'll give you that one. OK.
I'm not you know, I'm not I'm not just doing that while I'm traveling because I normally don't travel. OK.
Although just so everybody knows this Saturday night, if reception allows me, I will be coming from an undisclosed location.
Yeah. Yeah. That's going to be very cool. I hope you can get reception.
So if not, we won't have one. It sounded like I'm probably going to be able to.
So we OK. OK. Cool. So anyhow, I didn't agree with that.
I don't even know me or the other person don't know exactly where we're going.
Well, good luck. Large. Another one was a large group of people that want to split the bill.
I don't agree with that as well. Many times, Val and I don't order an excessive amount of drinks when others in the party are for deep.
Why do we want to pay for their habits? Right. Right. Yeah.
There's no way they're like, oh, let's just all divide this equally.
And it's like, no, I had a Coke and a burger and you had a steak and five scotches.
Fuck you. You pay for your steak and five scotches. I totally agree.
I've done that before. I go, no, no, no, no. We're not doing that.
I know what we had. I know what we had.
And we're just going to have to inconvenience the waiter and he's going to have to split our part up.
You guys can do whatever you want, but I'm not doing that.
And yeah, that pisses me off because they're just trying to get by on you.
They're just trying to get you to pay for their habits.
Taking food photos are on here, too. But I've done that before.
Val's done that. I mean, you know, sending a dish back that wasn't made is specified.
Asked to be seated before all their party arrives.
No. OK. I would rather have the extra room at the front myself.
There's never enough seats or booths anyway at the front of the restaurant. Right.
So I like it when there's like a party at 30 and there's 27 there when they seat them.
Then the other three people can gradually get there.
But at least they're not in my way while I'm trying to sit down while I'm waiting for my table. Right.
But yeah, so I don't agree with that.
I like it when they sit them down and yeah, the other people are going to be a half hour late.
Why should those people have to sit there in my way that whole time when you could seat them down?
Have a couple of drinks, maybe not order food yet.
Just keep them on the back burner every now and then.
Go. Does anyone else want a beer? You know, but leave them on the back burner.
They can go to their table.
But I know why restaurants don't do that is because they want to fit as many people in those tables in the amount of time that they have.
But anyhow, so and then anyhow, eighty eight percent did not favor a place charging for tap water.
I agree with that. And I've been to places that charge for tap water.
It's like what? It's like I'm buying a meal. The water doesn't come with it.
So no prices on the menu.
When did they start charging for water?
Not all places do that. And I think most places backed off from that because.
They should because. Oh, I get it.
The Americans build on that.
Yeah, I would get up and walk out.
I like a place that if you come in there and ask for water, they give it to you, whether you're whether you're a customer or not.
And they do it because they're decent people.
That's the kind of place I like to go to, not some snooty place that goes, no, no, it's going to be three dollars for that water.
So no prices on the menu at eighty five, which I agree with.
No prices makes me not want to buy a damn thing.
Seventy seven percent didn't like music being too loud.
I agree with that. Seventy seven percent also did not like the automatic 20 percent tip.
Yes. Yes.
And a lot of times you double tip because a lot of people, people don't look down and go, oh, the 20 percent was already added.
Yeah, you're a couple of drinks deep and you're not really thinking about it.
And then you leave another 20 percent on there that that waiter is getting 40 percent because they added 20 percent on a small writing at the bottom of the bill.
I don't agree with that. And I don't go to places that do that.
There's a couple of places in Eureka Springs that do that. And I don't go there anymore.
This is me off. And anyhow, I would be all right with it as long as they told me up front.
If they told you, yes, but don't have it on the menu. Yeah.
Yeah, I agree. And then seventy five percent didn't like that.
The dynamic pricing, because they pretty much quit that for a while.
Their restaurants were doing dynamic pricing, kind of like dynamic seating.
Like if if I don't know, swordfish is like really in high demand for some reason.
All of a sudden, the price of that skyrockets beef tenderloin. If all of a sudden that's in high demand, the price skyrockets.
But you don't know till you get to the restaurant and then they go, oh, the dynamic pricing today.
The beef tenderloin is going to be fifty seven dollars for a small little I don't know, one hundred fifty seven dollars for like a small little 14 ounce or something.
It's like, no, no, no, no, no. Keep your dynamic pricing. I'll go somewhere else.
And then fifty four percent do not like a place that does not take reservations.
So there's much more to this article.
But because I think I've covered a lot of stuff on here and so we can go back to you, I'm going to tell the other two sections of it next next show.
And it's the next one is just the the percentages of what people liked and didn't like in restaurants.
And so I don't want to do all this together. It's going to take up too much time.
Instead, we're going to go to Rob for his next story.
A woman believed to be the oldest in the world is set to celebrate her upcoming hundred twenty fourth birthday.
Wow. As state officials for plan her a party to mark the occasion.
OK, I see I thought I just did a story on the oldest person alive.
She was one hundred sixteen. This is this lady's one hundred and twenty something.
Well, I'm I'm diving deeper into it. Oh, OK. Go ahead. Sorry.
Oh, my God. It was really. Oh, I'm a Tina.
Oh, that does.
The worm. That's what I want to say. OK.
Also known as Dona Julia. Yeah, go with that. Dona Julia.
Which I'm only even breaking down the easier.
We're just going to call her Julia. Perfect.
She said that I've been born on June twenty second, nineteen hundred exactly six months before the death of Queen Victoria.
Wow. According to her pension records, this would make her the oldest living person in the world.
Julia lives in Sierra Gaius.
And the state of Parana reportedly drives on boiled eggs.
And please forgive me on this.
Hello, OK.
Brazilian. I'm going to say it's Brazilian fried eggs and sausage.
That's it. Yeah.
Yeah, the ball. But the other is a traditional local cake made with Gavassi flour.
Kielbasa flour. OK.
G-A-S-S-A-V. I thought you meant Kielbasa like the sausage.
No, not not the like the sausage. OK.
Kielbasa. Yeah, I was like what?
Hey, here we. Here is a ridicule or something else to get us on.
Yeah, we said, you know, I pronounce it and stuff, dude. Rob, you know what I'm doing?
I'm saving all the hate email for one special segment.
Yeah, that's probably best. Oh, it's I got every one of them.
I found every one of them that I deleted and all that stuff.
I decided this the other day and we're going to go through them and just make fun of them, ridicule them or say, yeah, OK, you're right.
Like if they go, you guys butcher, you guys butcher the language. I'm going to go.
Yeah, true. But it's still free. So anyhow.
Anyhow, there's probably a few of them.
Her social worker said that she doesn't have diabetes, headaches or high blood pressure.
Good for her.
She doesn't take medicine and she doesn't have gray hair.
Wow. She loves wearing earrings and bracelets, she said.
That's amazing. Now show the picture of her.
She had she don't have gray hair.
Wow. She's an old shrivel up old lady.
But no gray hair.
That's interesting. The bullshit part of it. OK.
Although her age is recognized by the Brazilian government,
Julia has been denied a place in Guinness Book of World Records because of a mix up with her birth certificate.
However, her birthday was confirmed by statements from poor people aged more than 70.
Who had all known her for 20 years?
Wow. It sounds like she is that old, but they just can't prove it because a mix up with a birth certificate.
I think that who cares if Guinness doesn't recognize it.
I think everybody knows that it's true. So, wow.
According to Brazilian news outlet Banda B,
Julia spent a significant chunk of her life on the streets
and was adopted at the age of 100 by a woman named Maria Edna de Alameda.
Wow. OK.
But Brazil still plans on putting her at a birthday party.
Good. They put her on one last year for 123rd.
The current Guinness World Record holder for oldest person is American born Spanish,
Super Centurion Maria Baroness Moura. OK. Good enough.
She returned 117th on March 4th this year. OK. Cool. Thank you, Rob. Wow.
That might be the one I had the story about earlier.
It could have been. I had one about the Guinness Book of World Record holder.
That may have been that gal. It might have been. It sounds like this gal beats her out.
Yep. Wow. OK. Well, all right.
We have a new, besides not available, number one in America, and that's Boardman Oregon.
Yes. And then we have a new. We have a new comer in the top four, and that is Tappan Hanuck.
Tappan Hanuck. Let me see where that's. Yeah. Where was that?
I pulled that up there all that. Hang on. Hang on. Let me run my Google. I still got my history.
Oh, good. Oh, it's in Virginia. Yeah, Virginia. That's right.
Wow. Well, thank you, Tappan Hanuck and Boardman. You've been on our board for quite a while.
And Columbus. Yeah. Columbus, Ohio is just booming. Thank you, guys. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Ashburn is doing really well. Of course, Kansas City. Harrisonville is hanging in there strong.
Phoenix is a big up and comer. Thank you, Phoenix. Yeah.
Brussels, Belgium still doing great there. The other the other Kansas City doing solid there.
St. Louis. We gained a lot of listeners. We appreciate that.
A lot of downloaders or whatever you want to call them. San Jose, California. Quite a few.
Even some in Raymore, Savannah, Georgia, Denver come in big and bad. Raymore. Yeah. Yep. Raymore has quite a few.
That could be either of our friends. Yeah. Yeah. Yep. Who knows? But anyhow, thank you.
I have a lot of friends in Raymore. Well, thank you. We got quite a few hits from there.
We appreciate it. And when you guys hear this, send me an email. Let me know who you are.
We'll give you a shout out or whatever or just make up some really good lies about you or something. Right.
Sounds good. That's what we do. All right. Well, we are going near 120 on this.
So let's go ahead and wrap a bow on this bitch and call it good. You want to do that? Sounds good.
I got to get ready for my camping trip. Yep. Oh, do you work tomorrow or not?
Yeah, I work tomorrow. And actually, I'm supposed to work all day Friday.
I don't know. Will a foreman quit today? I might take off half a day Friday. Yeah. Go camping early, man.
Get ready to go. Yeah. All right. I'm really interested in how this on remote location comes out.
I think it's going to be pretty interesting. So anyhow. Oh, no, it's going to be the same as we are right now.
OK. All right. Cool. It just depends on whether I have reception or not. All right. Cool.
Well, if not, then I to be honest, neither one of us know exactly where we're going. So there's a chance there may not be reception.
So we warned you guys right now. We warned you guys right now that there may not be a show.
There may not be, but I hope there is. If there is, there's going to be a firefighter going and all that stuff.
That should be pretty interesting. So anyhow. Oh, hi, Grandma Opal. Hi, Jimmy. Hi, Ricky.
Hi, Grandma. Hi, Jimmy. Hi, Ricky. And everybody in Dodge City, Kansas. Thank you guys. We love you. Ra Ra D town.
All right, everybody. Thank you for listening. Good night, assholes. Good night, assholes.