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You know, Go to Bed You'll Feel Better is pretty much the human version of, Did You Turn It Off and Turn It Back On Again?
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In some areas in Hawaii, laughter is found upon, but aloha is appropriate.
Two Deucebags and a Microphone, I'm Mark.
And I am Ross.
Due to the fact that I am going to go to Eureka Springs in the morning and be gone for three days, this is a bonus episode that we decided to record tonight after recording the first episode of tonight.
And tomorrow is Labor Day and you'll be getting this sometime next week.
Memorial Day.
Oh, Memorial Day, did I say Labor Day? I've been saying that all damn day. Sorry, Memorial Day.
So anyhow, I don't have a first third on this because this is an impromptu, didn't have any time of writing.
So anyhow, you get what you get, okay?
So, alright. What I want to go into first is a sneak article that I found and it's simply entitled, Taste of Home website and it's 14 food logos with sneaky hidden messages in them.
That sound good? Yeah.
Okay.
Number one, the Nestle logo. The Nestle logo, it says Nestle down there with the bar over the top of it and all that.
And then it has like a picture of two birdlings and a mama bird getting ready to feed them in a nest.
Everybody's seen it. Famous.
Okay, here's what it says. Ever notice the bird's nest is the logo of some Nestle products?
Henry Nestle, founder of the brand, incorporated this part of his family's coat of arms into the logo when he started the company.
So that was his family's coat of arms and that's why he chose to have the birds on it in a nest.
So the next one, I find that pretty interesting. What do you think?
Yeah, that is pretty interesting.
Yeah, this is stuff you'll never know unless you run across some interesting articles like this.
Next one is Duncan Hines, you know, the cake people.
So Duncan Hines, the logo's hidden meaning can easily be missed.
If you look closely at the Duncan Hines logo, you can see that the white part looks almost like the bottom half of a book.
And that's intentional.
Duncan Hines was a real person who started his career as a traveling salesman.
He wrote a book detailing the best restaurants he'd visited across the country while selling.
The logo is a tribute to the company's founder.
And if you look at it, you can tell it looks like an open book at the bottom of it.
And then it's just kind of like, I don't know, they did a design with an open book at the bottom and went from there.
And that's pretty interesting.
If you guys have any questions, just look up the logos on the Internet so you understand what I'm saying.
You can do it with me right now. I'm giving you plenty of time.
So, okay. Next one is Lay's, as in the potato chips.
Okay.
Okay. There are two logos with hidden meanings.
The Lay's logo looks a lot more like the logo of its parent company, Frito Lay.
The company website says, from summer barbecues to family gatherings to time spent relaxing at the end of a long day,
Frito Lay snacks are part of some of life's most memorable moments.
From this perspective, the sun logo makes sense.
We definitely associate potato chips with summer and sunny days.
So, there you go. I guess I see the sun there, I guess, yes.
It's where, yeah, that one. Okay.
All right. I'll just do it.
And the Lay's original are a yellow bag.
Yes, that's true. You know what? It's probably true. You're right.
Yeah, the original Lay's are a yellow bag. Okay.
Next, Wendy's.
The Wendy's fast food chain was named after founder Dave Thomas' daughter.
She also appears in the company's friendly logo.
But there's one more family member hidden in the picture.
Take a closer look at the redhead's ruffled collar and you'll see the word mom, and it's true.
Look up the Wendy's logo. Yes.
This was supposedly to make people associate, and I don't know if it's true, but this is what the word on the street has been for a long time.
They decided to go with the mom looking necklace on Wendy.
Because they wanted people to think of it not as fast food, but more homestyle food.
Homestyle quality is what they were going after.
So whether you believe that or not.
I heard that one a month.
Yeah. I think Wendy's is easily one of the best fast burger, fast burger burger, fast food burger joints they have.
What do you think?
Yeah, it's like there's something different about it.
Yeah.
I like it.
Yeah. Well, one of the things is I'm pretty sure they still do this.
They do not freeze their meat.
It is all coming unfrozen straight from wherever they ground up the burger and put them in patties.
But it's supposedly the burgers are never frozen, so they don't, you know, freezing something takes a little taste out of it normally.
Right. Yeah.
So I think one of the things is that and the other thing is I think some of the spices and probably the mixture of meats that they use.
It might be a little bit higher grade than some of the other spots.
So anyhow, Baskin Robbins.
If you didn't already know that Baskin Robbins offered 31 flavors when they first started out, the logo offers you another clue.
The magic number is hidden in the curve of the B and the stem of the R.
Pick up one or two of the current flavors and make a cool ice cream dessert.
Thirty one is in the middle. Thirty one flavors.
So if you look at B, R in the middle, OK, the middle or two different is different colors.
And it says 31, but you won't notice it until I tell you this.
Thirty one flavors. So that's pretty unique right there.
It looks like a B, R. And if you're not thinking about it, you're not going to see the 31 in the middle.
So now that you mention it, I'm seeing it.
See? Yeah, interesting. I love articles like this because
That's around the B. Yeah, I can see it.
Yeah, see? Yeah, pretty cool.
Now, I'm unfamiliar with this next product, but it's a Swiss milk chocolate with honey and almond nougat.
It's called Toblerone, I believe is how you pronounce it.
Yeah, I know.
Oh, you do? Is that how you pronounce it? Toblerone?
We used to sell them at Little League Baseball.
Oh, OK. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've had them before. I know what you're talking about.
They're like triangles.
Yes, they sell for like a buck or something. Yeah, I know. And it goes fundraiser and candy.
It's fundraising candy bars.
And they do sell them in stores, too.
Oh, I didn't know that. OK.
Toblerone, the Toblerone Candy Company was started in Bern, Switzerland, a city famously associated with bears.
According to the legend, the city of Bern owes its name to a furry hibernator.
When you look closely, you might be able to see a little something brewing in the company's mountain logo.
So let's see here.
Oh, shit.
Perfect.
There is a bear standing up on its hind legs, walking in the middle of the mountain of the Toblerone.
Toblerone. It is plain as day now that they mention it.
Pretty, pretty cool. Pretty cool.
And after this, I'm going to I'm going to go into one thing in rock music that I know is on an album cover that most people do not know.
And I want you all to look at it, too.
So this is just my own. OK.
Burger King.
I'm wondering if it's the same thing I'm thinking of.
Hang on.
We'll find out.
OK. All right. I was going to put it on pause. But anyhow, we'll just go ahead.
We'll do it organically. It's better like that.
OK. Burger Bitch. I mean Burger King.
The Burger King logo sits right gets right to the point.
The words Burger and King are two juicy hamburgers nestled between two buns.
If the logo has your mouth water, head to a drive through and order something from Burger King's secret menu, which I know about.
I'm trying to figure out where they have here.
Oh, OK. This is relatively easy.
The top and the bottom of the Burger King logo looks like burger buns.
So, yeah, OK.
All right. If I understand that right, that's pretty much it.
The Burger King logo gets right to the point.
The words Burger and King are two juicy hamburgers nestled between two buns.
OK. You know what? I'm going to move on because I don't necessarily see that one the way it's described.
OK. Next one is Subway.
The Subway logo does its pointing with two hidden arrows.
The first letter and the last letter of the name symbolize the entrance and exit of, you guessed it, a subway.
That's one clever way to design a hidden meaning in a logo if we do say so ourselves.
Um, yeah. OK. You know Subway said subway.
There's arrows on each side of them, right? Yeah. OK.
It is suspended from the ceiling on all subways and it hangs down and one arrow points to the exit and one arrow points to the entrance.
That's cool. Yeah.
You know, so if there's ever a fire and you can see that, hopefully you picked the right arrow, right? Right.
All right. Toastitos.
You won't believe you didn't notice this logo with the hidden meaning before.
The two T's in the corner of the logo on tostito chip salsas and dips are two people munching on chips.
The eye between them is a bowl of salsa at a table. Let's take a look here.
Son of a bitch.
Yeah. Yep.
And in between them is a tortilla chip.
Wow. Everybody rewind this or whatever you got to do.
But I'm giving you plenty of time to look at these. Look up these images.
It's really cool. And the stuff that I've never noticed before until they they brought this up.
So, yeah. Wow. Cool.
Next one is Hershey Kisses.
The logo on every package of Hershey Kisses give a little bit of love to everybody who buys a bag.
An extra kiss is cleverly tucked in between the K and the I.
You have to tilt your head a little to get it just like just like a real smooch.
So let's take a look.
Oh, wow.
That's pretty damn cool.
Wow. OK. Are you are you playing a long rob or not?
No, I'm not looking enough. I've got another one.
I'm listening to you. OK. OK.
The next one is Twix.
Twix in the dot of the I and the Twix logo.
There are two tiny Twix bars to simply highlight the company's left right Twix campaign.
Get your Twix fix in a super size with these chocolate caramel balls is what it says here.
Now, let me look here. The twist bar. OK.
In the in the dot of the I and the Twix logo, there are two tiny Twix bars.
Yep. Yep.
OK. Never noticed that before either until it's pointed out by this article.
Next one, Orbit and Eclipse gum.
You don't need to be a rocket scientist.
Go ahead.
I would say I wouldn't know about that.
You don't chew gum?
No, I don't. OK.
Orbit and Eclipse.
You don't need to be a rocket scientist to chew gum, but you'll have to do some research to decipher these logos.
In the orbit logo, the O is half dark and half light to symbolize the day and night of the Earth's orbit.
Oh, cool. OK.
Never thought about it like that.
Earth's orbit. Look closely and you'll see a solar eclipse is hiding behind the eclipse.
Wow. Logo. That's so true.
Wow. OK. Yep.
Yeah. The orbit logo is an O is a half dark and half lit moon.
And then eclipse behind it is a dark moon with light around it representing eclipse.
That's pretty cool. I like that one.
Yeah, that is cool.
Next one is Heinz ketchup.
Heinz. Every bottle of Heinz ketchup highlights the company's 57 varieties,
but the 57 doesn't have much to do with the number of products the Heinz company makes.
Founder John Henry Heinz's lucky number was five and his wife's lucky number was seven.
That adds up.
OK. Everybody thought that 57 was Heinz 57. They went by their two lucky numbers.
Huh. Yep. That's interesting.
Yeah. And right on there it says 57 varieties. Cool.
And then finally, Chick-fil-A.
Chick-fil-A has a couple of secrets.
There's a reason for the ridiculously good chicken sandwiches.
Of course, they've got a whole secret menu of great food.
This message in this logo isn't exactly hidden,
but the chicken in the sea makes it clear what the chain's focus is.
Let's see here.
Oh, OK.
The sea is a picture of a rooster.
It's got eyes, it's got a beak, and it's got the, what do you call it, the crown?
Yeah.
Really neat. I'd never noticed that before either. Maybe I should have, maybe I shouldn't have. I don't know.
Huh. Very cool. All right. That's all of them, but I have my own personal one that I wanted to bring up to everybody.
You know the album Mob Rules by Black Sabbath, right?
Yeah.
OK. Let me go here and explain something to you.
You can't see it per se unless someone's told you about it.
So let's see.
Mob Rules album cover.
OK. If you click on it, in the middle of the tattered, what would you call it, blanket or whatever, the tattered tarp that's blood stained,
in the middle of that there is a goat head symbol.
You can only see it unless someone told you about it.
And it's really cool. So are you going to go with that?
I'm looking up right now.
Yep.
I found this out.
Oh, damn. There it is.
See? It's plain as day if you're told about it.
Yeah.
Supposedly, this whole album cover has a bunch of secret messages and images in it. So I'll tell you what I'm going to do, Rob.
I'm going to come up with the secrets of the Mob Rules album cover and let everybody know in on all of them.
And what I suggest is this. When I do this, you guys go and look up the image yourself.
You can Google it right now. Rob did it. I did it.
And plain as day, one of the biggest things is the goat head in the middle of it.
So anyhow, you wouldn't know that unless someone told you about it.
And I found out about it because of this televangelist that came out with it. And he is the one that brought that up.
And me and Davey were kind of like, we didn't believe it at first.
And then we went and took a look at it and we're like, wow, it's there's plain as day, isn't it, Rob?
Yes, it is.
OK. All right, Rob, we are turning to you for the next story.
OK. Well, while we're on that, I've got another one real quick.
OK.
The band Boston. I'm going album covers too.
OK. That's cool.
Their first album, awesome, Boston and their second album, Don't Look Back.
Uh huh.
And their greatest hits even.
You know how all them have spaceships on them?
Yes.
If you look on those albums, then spaceships are upside down guitars.
Um, Topher told me that actually a while back.
That's very cool.
OK.
I'm looking at right now.
OK. I also have a story if you want one of them too.
Yes, absolutely.
All right. Have you ever heard of the demon monster?
Don't think so.
OK. Well, I'm about to tell you about it.
That's cool.
Hey, Rob, I've forgotten about that.
Topher told me about it originally.
Yep. Sure. The hell is. It's a guitar.
Yeah.
OK. Anyhow, go ahead.
OK. And this credit goes to jackandkitty.com.
OK.
It's called the demon monster, a century old mystery that continues to haunt Missouri.
Is this like Boggy?
Boggy Creek and all that?
Yeah. Something like that.
OK. Go ahead.
For over a century, tales of a mysterious creature known as the demon monster
haunted the small town of Beeman, Missouri, described as a towering ape like beast with glowing eyes and a terrifying presence.
This enigmatic entity has become the stuff of legend nestled in West Central Missouri's Pettus County.
This unassuming community has become the epicenter of a paranormal legend that has captivated the imaginations of generations.
Uh huh.
Throughout the years, numerous eyewitnesses have come forward with their accounts of the demon monster.
Russell Holman, an 81 year old Sedalia native, recalls stories passed down from his father
about a 12 foot tall gorilla that escaped from a circus train wreck in 1904.
Some believe this gorilla to be the ancestor of the demon monster.
OK.
Apart from eyewitness accounts, there have been reports of physical evidence left behind by the demon monster.
Steve Mallard, a 41 year old Spitton, discovered numerous, enormous footprints near his parents barn when he was 12.
The prints were so large that Mallard and his friend couldn't match their stride.
In addition to footprints, there have been instances of animals found mauled to death on bones in the area with no signs of another animal's presence.
These peculiar occurrences have only fueled the legend of the demon monster.
Wow.
Yeah.
I can't believe I've never heard of that.
As you can tell, this is up around Sedalia.
Oh, OK.
Wow. I can't believe I've never heard of that, Rob.
Have you heard about it before this article?
No, I have not.
And that's what drew my attention to it because it's so close.
And actually, here are two or three podcasts ago.
I read one about a big foot that was up in that area, but this is a different one.
Wow.
This is a little bit different location.
Yeah. Neat.
Thank you, Rob.
Got 50 Highway.
Got 50 Highway, yep.
OK. Maybe when I'm there watching Glenn Hughes and Head East, perhaps I'll see one of them.
I'll be on 50 Highway.
Those were big glowing red lights up in the distance.
OK.
They're not lights. They're eyes.
OK. Now, what if the acid doesn't wear off by that time?
Do you think I still should look for them or just ignore them if they're there?
Oh, yeah. If you do the acid, don't even look for them.
OK. All right. I'll be on the acid, so I'm not going to look.
Everybody will look like Bigfoot.
OK. All right. I better stay away from that, though.
All right. And I will not eat the brown M&Ms either.
Or no, no. The brown acid.
Van Halen was the ones that demanded brown M&Ms at every show.
I love that. Everyone hated brown M&Ms.
And Van Halen demanded that the platters that they gave them only had brown M&Ms in them.
You talk about being a pain in the ass, right?
Yeah.
It's like, hey, get the band M&Ms. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
They only want brown what? Brown M&Ms?
Yeah, they only want brown ones. Oh, bullshit. No one like no.
No, they said brown M&Ms. If not, we're all fired.
Fuck. OK. Get 30 times as many M&M bags and get all the brown ones out of them and put them in a bowl.
That's awesome. That's exerting your power being a prick, isn't it?
Yeah, it is.
I love that. I'm not saying I'm beyond that. I do it, too. But I think it's awesome.
All righty. Let's take our first break of this here bonus episode.
And I'm going to come back with some weird facts about things that happen that you probably didn't know happened.
So we'll see. We'll talk to you in a minute.
Yeah, we'll talk to you in a minute.
Our constant pursuit for a real knee slapper.
It's strange insults from an alien.
Real hilarity.
Mate, you forever feel yourself being migrated and the pocket is not even in it.
Bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark.
I should have never taught that damn dog how to read.
And now, deep thoughts with Mark.
How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
Ink? Huh. I may never know.
Have you ever wondered where something came from?
Have you ever looked at something and said,
Hey, I wonder what the origin of that is?
Well, so have we.
That's why we give you The Origin of...
The Origins of Beignet.
Beignet is first made in appearance in New Orleans in the 1700s when French Creole colonists settled the land.
According to NewOrleans.com, also known as French Arcadians,
they moved to the Bayou lands in Louisiana after they were forced from their homes in the Nova Scotia area by the British, reports Britannica.
Now, from a sundered rail bunker camped in Missouri, stocked full of dried guts, canned food, and a couple of vibrating toys,
is rambling some madman featuring Rob Rad.
I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
Our constant pursuit for a real knee-slapper.
It's strange insults from an alien. Real hilarity.
You look like you smell like cheese.
Two douchebags and microphone. Mark here.
And I'm Rob.
Alright, well, like I said, I'm going to start off this segment with some odd facts that most people probably don't know about.
So, the first one is, Frank Lloyd Wright family was murdered by a disgruntled employee, and his house was burnt down as well by the same disgruntled employee.
Okay, that's not very well known, I don't believe. I'd never heard that of you.
No, I had never heard that part. I know who he is.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so, wow.
That sucks.
Okay, Marilyn Monroe struggled with stuttering her whole life. I actually knew that one.
Yeah, she stuttered her whole life and had a problem with it.
You know, it was like a big problem to her.
So, completely believe that because I definitely, I read that in a magazine, no, not a magazine,
a book about some of the famous people like Marilyn Monroe and what have you, other people too.
I forgot what it was about Frank Sinatra. Oh well, I'll have to look it up.
The next one, Nikolai Tesla was a supporter of eugenics, a set of practices aiming to improve the genetic quality of the human race.
He thought the only way was sterilization of the unfit. Nikolai Tesla thought that.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah, eugenics is a fucked up way of thinking. It's like you take the weak out and destroy them because they're going to hurt the whole herd.
That's the philosophy behind it.
Samuel Morse, inventor of the telegraph, was a snob that thought his paintings of the Mona Lisa was the best version of it.
Cool. I like that.
I could see him right now, the inventor of the telegraph going around, mine is the best. Look at it, clearly, clearly.
Mine is better than that other one. I have the best Mona Lisa ever.
You should worship it right now. Get on your knees. You worship mine, Mona Lisa, right now or you can't use my telegraph, bitch.
Right?
All right. Napoleon wrote a failed romance novel to another man. No, I added that.
Napoleon wrote a failed romance novel. I believe it. That little fucking short stack. You know, I, he probably had micro penis, right?
Yeah.
Yeah. That's why he was so angry. He looked down every day and saw that little penis and was like, why me?
Oh, speak of that. There's this guy that used to give me shit at work all the time, right?
And anyhow, his name was Bill, love the guy he says passed away. And every time I told him, I said, every time you take a piss,
you look down at your extremely small micro penis and you look up at God and go, why me?
Why did I have to have this small, small penis? Everyone else here, I see them come in.
They're pissing out of a regular size penis, but not me. I have this super small penis. Why did you do that to me?
He was getting so mad at me. Oh, fuck you, man. What do you know? I'm like, yeah, I go, yeah, I go, no, man. We can tell.
I say, look, man, you obviously have nothing there. I mean, your pants like go in around your groin instead of go out.
You have no penis and we all know this. So it was fun. All righty.
Henry Ford tried to end World War II by sailing to Europe on a peace ship. I didn't know that was fact.
I always thought that was one of those rumors that was bullshit. Guess not.
Next one, Saddam Hussein or Saddam, if you're George, George W. Also, no, H.B. Bush, I think called him Saddam.
Saddam Hussein also wrote romance novels. He even consulted American romance writers to get opinions.
And if they didn't like it, he'd have them beheaded probably. So.
A lot of romance writers between evil fucking dictators, you know, Napoleon and Saddam Hussein.
I find it interesting that they both like romance novels and wrote them. OK.
Next one, Sir Isaac Newton was a waiter. He waited tables at Cambridge. He had to do something, right?
Yeah, you have to do something. Yeah. I mean, the gravity invention was cool. Yeah.
But I'm pretty sure he got bored after that apple hit him in the fucking head, right? Yeah.
He's probably like, well, I wonder what I'll do now. OK. Gravity made that apple hit me in the head.
You know what? I'll go wait tables at Cambridge. Sounds like a logical transition, right? Yeah. Yeah. All right.
Leonardo da Vinci was an animal activist. I knew that he was an avid animal activist.
He was like fucking obsessed with it. Next one, Ernest Hemingway Hemingway, not Hemingray.
Ernest Hemingway, great writer from the Key West, classic novelist for whom the bell tolls and old man and the sea,
wrote apple pie recipes and hamburger recipes as a hobby.
You imagine that grumpy old man, that mean old grumpy Ernest Hemingway. People hated him.
He was a miserable person, supposedly, and they couldn't stand him. That's what I've heard.
All he wanted was people to like his apple pie and hamburger recipes. He probably would have been a lovely gentleman, right?
That's the way I see it. I don't know. And finally, Cleopatra is known for being the last pharaoh of Egypt.
She was not Egyptian. She was actually Macedonian. I wonder if they knew that. Wow.
I'll bet you Egypt didn't know that. I'll bet you they didn't know that and they found that out later through DNA.
She may not have even known it, actually.
Okay, Rob, we turn to you once again.
That sounds good to me.
Former Iron Maiden vocalist Paul Deano has distanced the band from the New Wave British Heavy Metal in a new interview.
And for those of you that don't know who he is, Deano joined Maiden in 1978 and appeared on their first two albums,
Iron Maiden in 1980 and Jolers in 1981 before being fired in 1981.
And he was replaced by Bruce Dickinson.
He actually had a solo career going for a while and people heckled him so bad, I think he quit.
They used to go, where's Bruce? Where's Bruce? You look us up on the internet.
And he'd always go, oh, you sing Zoppa, la la la la, and all that stuff and try to make fun of him.
It was brutal. People would throw stuff up there and shit. Anyhow, go ahead.
Okay, talking exclusively in the current issue of Metal Hammer, Deano has said that the Maiden felt no kinship with the rest of the early 80s UK metal scene,
also composed of deathwebbers, venoms, saxons, and more, and that his band was the ones leading the charge.
Nah, we felt like we were out on our own, Deano told Hammers Dave Everly.
They couldn't pigeonhole us and we were a heavy metal band, but we played fast like a punk band, but with all these complicated riffs.
They didn't know how to wave us, so they called us a new wave of British heavy metal.
Next thing you know, every fucking band is jumping on that one.
Yeah, there's been a lot of bands that tempered themselves after Iron Maiden, obviously. A lot of them that are still going today.
And he is right on that. He is very right on that. Iron Maiden did not get popular for a long time.
I mean, they were popular worldwide, but in America they were non-existent because of their unique style.
Deathwebber was being played on the radio, all these other bands were being played on the radio from that area, right?
But Iron Maiden never had been. They still don't have very much radio play, but they are one of the most popular bands ever, of all time.
They did it without any type of recognition from radio or TV or anything.
It's very unique what they do and how they do it.
Their music or compositions, it's intricate, it's very talented.
And the mascot Eddie really started all the other mascots like Vic Rattlebone and Alistair Fiend.
When you say that, Eddie started that type of thing.
Paul Diano is absolutely right, because they were so, like nobody knew what they were, that they could not be mainstream ever because people couldn't fathom that type of music.
It's very intricate and too long for most people.
But everybody loves them. I mean, anyone that listens to them probably really likes them.
And they are one of the most popular bands sales wise and everything else.
Very cool.
Does Paul Diano say anything?
You can read the full interview in Metal Hammer.
That's cool, I love that article. Thank you Rob, that was cool. I agree with that.
Yeah, I agree too.
And it was actually very ballsy for them to fire Paul Diano because they didn't know about Bruce Dickinson at the time.
And Paul Diano was good in Arm Aiden, much better than Blaise Bailey, the guy that replaced Bruce Dickinson when Bruce Dickinson stepped out for a few years to become a pilot for British Airlines.
And Blaise Bailey was so bad that they left him in Argentina or something. The band just left him there, they all took off and left him there.
So, anyhow, found that pretty interesting stuff.
I got another story here real quick.
Looks like Chick-fil-A got the memo that fans are loving sweet and savory combinations because the restaurant is reportedly releasing another menu item that features a flavor combo.
Nearly one year after Chick-fil-A added the honey-pepper-pimento cheese sandwich to menus for a limited time, the chain is said to be adding the maple-pepper-bacon sandwich to menus nationwide.
Wow. Did you hear that Rob? Maple-pepper-bacon sandwich.
That sounds good.
I wonder who came up with that down there at Chick-fil-A. That's pretty solid. That's some solid thinking there with that sweet and spicy beer going on.
Yeah, pretty cool.
Anyhow, Rob, you got anything else or are we going to shut this bitch down? It is 10 o'clock.
Oh, I was entertained for a while. I mean, especially you guys. Go right on ahead if you want to keep going. It doesn't bother me.
You want to hear about sharks in the Missouri River?
Yes, I do.
We just keep getting madder and madder and go, oh yeah, fuck it. Oh my God, you got it. Oh, you went through the F-bomb. Oh, someone give me some iced tea. Oh my God, oh the pain.
Hey, I showed the camera and the personality was, I was calling down there, and this is later, I got bored with it, and I wanted to ask you this. The chickens. And I started saying something, you know, just to be flat.
So, you know, I started saying, hey, I got called, as far as bull sharks are concerned, there were two known sightings in the Mississippi River over the past day, one in Old Illinois and one in 1937, and another in Missouri and after that, one in Central Plains, and all this.
The Missouri and Mississippi Rivers regularly get below 35 degrees for months at a time, but a bull shark prefers tropical waters that stay above 69 degrees.
Wow.
A marine biologist in Florida International University says that even though the sharks' delay may change, the risk of someone changing one so far is less.
The ocean is very small. Okay, well I feel much better now, however, with some random cartoon just by blurring the jaws thing, I'll be on my way immediately to the top of the Capitol building.
Yeah, there have been two known sightings.
Well, I believe that sharks can live in fresh water. They just choose not to. They prefer ocean. And also another thing is, is they probably don't go down channels because they're big fish.
It would probably be like.
They come up in Mississippi.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, okay, the last few years, not this year, they've been getting a lot of rain, I think, I think the drought down there is finally let up and eased up.
But for a few years there, the drought was hitting Louisiana, the whole drainage area there, so hard that the ocean water was flowing back up the Mississippi because the lower level of the Mississippi River.
The level, the water level was so low that the ocean was overriding it at the Gulf and going back up into the Mississippi with salt water and it was really screwing up the ecology, the ecological system.
And I think I actually did a story on that, didn't I?
Yeah.
Yeah, so yeah, and that could be another reason stuff like that happens is because of weather phenomena like that and what have you because you know that does happen.
And then when that does, you know, of course, that would make things like this happen.
You know, sharks may not always find their way back. They may stay where they're at, you know, if they can live there, they're like, you know what, I got plenty of food.
I'm just going to stay here. So, wow, pretty freaking cool.
Well, that article did not specify where the one in 1995 happened. It just said Missouri.
Okay, Alton, Illinois is up there. Oh, go ahead. I'm sorry.
Well, it happened to have been on the Mississippi River also.
So both of them have been on the Mississippi, not the Missouri.
Yeah, yeah, Mississippi. Yep. Alton, Illinois is on the Mississippi and I've been through there plenty of times.
Wow. Okay. And there were bull sharks. Were both them bull sharks or do you remember?
Yeah, both of them were bull sharks. I just Googled it and I got it both up there.
Okay, very cool.
Yeah, they were on their way to St. Louis. Actually, if the one man to Alton, he bypassed St. Louis.
I don't blame him, he'd probably get shot.
He's like everyone else.
Alton is on the northeast corner of St. Louis.
Yeah, yeah. What you do there is you take the loop interstates around St. Louis, not through it.
Hell, it's the same way in Kansas City too, so don't get mad at me St. Louis, we have a lot of listeners there.
What'd you say?
For about three years, my daughter lived in Grand City, Illinois, which is just on the other side of the bridge and like seven miles south of Alton.
Yeah, yep.
So I can't even remember the real one.
Okay, cool.
Alrighty, well, Rob, I think I gotta start doing things towards tomorrow, getting clothes and stuff like that.
I understand that, baby.
And you probably need to be going to sleep, right?
I'm off late tomorrow.
Oh, that's right, it's Labor Day, Memorial Day, sorry. That's right, I forgot about that.
Alright, well, I have got stuff I have to do. We're gonna leave out early and get down there fairly early, so anyhow, thank you everybody for listening.
Hi, Opal, hi, Jimmy, hi, Ricky. Love you guys.
Hi, Grandma, hi, Jimmy, hi, Ricky.
Alrighty, Dodge City, Kansas, blah, blah.
Anyhow, thank you assholes for listening, but there is going to be a couple of segments after this of some ha-has from back in the day.
Anyhow, thank you all for listening, have a good night.
Good night, assholes.
Next up, things you've ever heard in hell.
Spam. With Spam Hopper tonight. How yummy.
It's an island of horrible jokes.
My copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you.
I don't have my word.
Because I remember quite well, because people are coming to the world for these and when
Scrum really got itself into trouble.
Our constant pursuit for a real news rapper.
Strange insults from the evil.
Real cool attitude.
Mary, your grandmother always intruded your thoughts at the last minute that you are
masterful.
Oh, that'd be cool.
Now, from the underground bunker, candidates are hands full of dry guts, canned food,
and a couple of vibrating toys.
It's rambling, and some mad men feature in the wrong brand.
Beanbags are basically buggered selfies.
Your mama's so ugly, your dad takes her pork every day so he doesn't have to kiss her back.
Hey there, Buxstead.
It's just in time for brand new feature news nobody gives a shit about.
In New York, 500 ballerinas break the ballerina dancing record all the time.
Let me know if you know.
The Last.
From the Past.
This is where we take old shows and incorporate them into new shows.
Because you fucks refuse to go get it.
Davey started waving the card in the air and making fun of me because he got this and I
didn't.
He was like, hey, I'm going to be on this whatever.
Video.
Yeah.
So he's waving around going, I'm going to be on the video and you're not because you're
too stupid and you couldn't win.
And all this stuff.
Right?
So this magical card was supposed to be a 3D to be an extra on the set of MTV.
This is what we set it up to be.
A list of hundreds of bands.
The secret MTV guy walking around.
He was walking around the mall and this was going to be Sam eventually.
So the secret MTV guy that has these free magical passes was Sam only he didn't know
anything.
Davey's like, and I'm like, fucking asshole.
All this stuff.
So automatically, see people get ready to walk in.
Right?
Getting ready to go to movies.
Yeah.
And Davey's just like magnetic.
They're just staring at us.
And Davey's like, and all this stuff.
Man, that sucks, man.
You get to go and I don't.
So Davey is waving this around, making fun of me and Jason will walk by.
They go, yeah, I fucking 112.
I threw it at him because there's no punk bands on it.
Fuck that.
I don't want to go.
So all of a sudden, those kids are fucking coming over.
What was this?
So.
That's so clever.
Oh, yeah.
So we set it up perfect.
So the reason the reason that we picked Sam to do this, we to do this on that day was
because we had the card for a couple of days.
He's wearing plain clothes.
And I guess he thought he's going to catch top lifters or something.
Not wearing his little fucking bitch outfit that he normally wore.
You know, so Jason, instead of us, goes, yeah, that fucking little douche right there is the one.
That's the secret MTV guy.
We didn't even say it.
He did it.
It sold it even more.
Yeah.
Because all these teams are like, you know, fucking their heads spun around and they're staring at him.
So Jason said, yeah, he goes, yeah, I bit him on the ear to get one.
So the story was, was this.
It's getting better and better.
The more outrageous you were, the more likely you were to get a free pass.
Oh, that's perfect.
Yeah.
Automatically he had like 50 teams jumping in front of him, fucking biting his ear, kicking him in the ass.
One guy was clucking like a chicken in his face.
Another guy's like, look, look, look at the bird.
Some guy fucking jumped off on one side.
Another guy ripped off one of the trees and hit him with a switch.
And Sam was just fucking freaking out, man.
He's like, what the fuck?
And they're like, we want to pass.
We want to pass.
This probably went on for fucking 25 minutes.
He was losing his mind.
Yes, he was.
He didn't know what was going on.
What planet did I wake up on?
He'd get 10 teams away from him, right?
And then you have 10 more teams attacking.
So we leave.
We let this go on and let it go downhill.
And those teams told another one, get the pass from that fucker.
He didn't give us anything.
So this just kept rolling on and rolling on and rolling on.
So we come back a couple of hours later.
We went to, oh, no, I know what we did.
We went to Andy's Santa Fe and had a burrito.
I remember the Andy's.
And we weren't even old enough to drink, but we still did,
because they never carted there.
We both had margaritas or a fucking laugh and had our feet on the table and shit.
Davey had fucking flip flops on, so they eventually got mad and kicked us out.
Because you could see his toenails hanging out.
People didn't like that.
Yeah.
So, hey, we get back in and all of a sudden we see Sam coming by, all the shovels.
By this time, everything was gone.
It was all said and done.
I go, hey, Sam, do you want to know where all that came from?
Us.
Davey pulled out the cart and said, see this?
I go, yeah, you just been had, bitch.
Oh, he was fucking furious.
He turned right then.
You motherfucker, I'm going to get you out of here.
I'm going to get you guys kicked out for good.
I go, what for?
I didn't do anything against them all.
We didn't get kicked out.
That was one of the best fucking pranks we ever played.
It was brilliant.
And I just thought about it the other day.
I'm like, my God.
There are some other ones I got to remember that we did to them too.
And then I got another one.
You listen to the solo cast, right?
I'm going to tell the story about the nut-biter.
Oh, yes.
Oh, gosh.
Oh, no.
Looks like the show's over, kids.
Mark has explosive diarrhea and can't afford a wireless mic.
Fear not, assholes.
They'll be back invading your ear holes soon.