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And now it's time for...

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The Daily Deucebag Pledge.

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Here at Two Deucebags in a Microphone, we don't stand behind our journalistic integrity.

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Go ahead and assume we got the story wrong. At least we admit it.

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Not like all those other guys, we can and will lie if it makes the story better.

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Two Deucebags and a Microphone.

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We are Jesus.

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I smell bacon!

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No wait, it's just Mark sweating.

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And now, Deep Thoughts with Mark.

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You know, musically, there was.

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Cassette tapes. It had an A and a B.

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So no wonder the next evolution would be a CD.

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Your mama's so fat, when she went out to the pier, people tried to board her.

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Hey there, fuckstick. You're just in time for brand new feature news nobody gives a shit about.

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A California girl just kind of licensed to carry a unicorn.

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And now, Deep Thoughts with Mark.

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So, if I have a glass of ice water, and the ice melts into the water, is my water then watered down?

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Hm. I may never know.

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Two Deucebags and a Microphone. I'm Mark.

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And I am Rob.

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Alright, thanks for joining us tonight. Anyhow, Rob, how are you doing?

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I'm doing pretty good. Doing pretty good. I had kind of a quiet day.

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Got a little work done on the podcast and just a couple other things done. So yeah, it's been a pretty productive day.

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Good, good.

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Even though I woke up at 5.15 this morning, for no reason.

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Well, I didn't tell you this our pre-talk, but I woke up early too.

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The storms had already passed us by then, so I didn't wake up because of the storms like you.

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They're already passed us, but I just woke up early and I did a little podcast work myself too. That's interesting that we both did that.

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Yeah.

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I got in here.

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The storm was still rolling through when I woke up, so I actually got to sit and watch it.

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Oh, okay.

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Yeah.

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It was done here about 5 a.m. About 5 a.m. they were all gone and to the east side, probably approaching Warrensburg-ish, something like that.

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The other side of Lee's Summit type of thing. So there were still storms per se in some of the extreme Kansas City Metro, but for the most part we're all done.

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The Kansas part was definitely done. We were done, you know.

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But I just woke up and I was like, you know what? I'm awake and I don't want to fall back to sleep and then have to get back up again all over and I'll feel like shit.

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So I was like, yeah, just go get some podcast stuff done. And that's what we're getting ready to get into here real quick.

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Okay.

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I pointed out to you earlier, I sent you that text that said, Columbus, Ohio is one of our best markets just out of nowhere.

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I mean, we always done well there, but you guys just exploded with us and we'd like to send out a thank you just like we did to Boardman, Oregon.

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Columbus, Ohio is our second most popular city, a listenership next to Boardman, Oregon.

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You guys are third. Well, Purdue Canada is sandwiched in. Yeah, I was, I said in America.

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Yeah, I was made in America. But yeah, yeah, yeah. Overall, overall, you're third. Yes.

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Purdue Canada is still second and Boardman is first and then Columbus, Ohio out of nowhere just like came in and yeah, boom.

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And anyhow, and it's a really this is really to me, it is really an honor because it's my understanding.

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I've known some people from Columbus. They have really good radio in Columbus, Ohio, a lot of local talent that's really good.

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And what the show we do here, I think is more of something that will compete with a radio show than the average podcast of ghosts or or supernatural or weird.

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You know what I mean? This is more to me like more of a old fashioned.

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This is the way we want it to be too. This is what we're trying for an old fashioned morning show.

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Only we could say fuck cocksucker. All this stuff, right? We could say all that stuff.

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They couldn't, of course, you know, they had to either beep out or go around it, you know, and stuff like that.

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So this is kind of like us. This is kind of like our tribute to morning radio that has been lost in our opinion.

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It's just not around anymore. And, you know, the radio powers that be have squashed it, kicked it, smashed it into nothing.

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The art is gone now and you'll be hard to find anything that's really that good.

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I mean, Johnny Deere is still good in Kansas City. I mean, he's still, you know, he's still pretty risque.

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He's still funny. Greg, his producer, still does some really good skits.

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You know, they're still pretty good and they're probably of the morning shows that are still left around.

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He is probably one of the better ones. I still listen to Bubba the Love Sponge, too, like I'd said, and he's still good, too.

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He changes program so far around. I mean, it's not anything of what it used to be, like shock in the puss and and whatever, you know,

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fucking anal expansion, all that stuff. A lot of that stuff I didn't I didn't really care for.

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But he doesn't do anything like that. You know, he's got like a doctor on his show and a lawyer on his show.

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And he's like really calm down. Yeah. Yeah. And I mean, you know, there's still Bob and Tom, but Bob and Tom is theatrical.

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Right. I mean, yeah, you know, they're more and we do it too. We do skits and stuff, but we really like our just kind of live programming where we're just talking like this.

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And but, you know, Bob and Tom's good. And and I mean, Tom's not there. Well, it's it's a no Bob isn't there anymore.

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Bob Kovolian has retired after they went into the Radio Hall of Fame, I believe. And now it's a different Bob.

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It's like, I don't know, some new Bob and Tom. And anyhow, it's even not the same either.

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But still, they still do what they normally did before, you know, which isn't, you know, they were never cutting edge.

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They were kind of like safer. But you know what? I mean, you know, they still do a pretty decent job to I'll listen to them every now and then.

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I'll listen to him for about 40 minutes and then and then that's it, you know. And to me anymore, Stern is unlistable.

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He is just fucking horrible. I never was a huge fan of his. I always thought he was kind of a pompous asshole.

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But his show used to have parts that were really good, like Captain Janks and Stuttering John and whoever else.

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You know, there are a lot of different characters on there. Sal, his show was good because he had strong characters on his show.

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But now he's just like he's gotten all political. And in my opinion, he's just a nut.

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Anyhow, he is exactly like Nikki Sixx. I said they are the exact people they used to make fun of and say they would never be.

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So I don't like that. I call that a sellout. So anyhow, thank you, Columbus. I don't know why I went on that tirade.

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But oh, OK, because our show is more of a morning show. So anyhow, let's see.

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So something weird phenomena happened in Kansas City last night. OK, this doesn't happen very often.

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It's very rare. But we had surface winds that were in excess of 80 miles an hour, non-severe.

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There was still a storm system coming in from the north and there's one coming in from the south.

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And we got in on a little of the south action, which was pretty strong to severe.

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And then the ones from the north was like a huge line with a bow echo line where it means the winds are like really strong at the first of the storm.

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And so without that being here yet and not really any storms, Independence, they clocked at 82 mile an hour.

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So this is weird. OK, we had 70 to 82 mile an hour winds before the storm.

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When the severe storm got here, it actually lowered the wind gusts to 65. Isn't that odd?

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Yeah. So we had 82 mile an hour wind until the severe storm showed up and then it took it down to 65.

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So, uh, uh, Mother Nature, I'm sorry. OK, I took you out to ask, Padlin. I'm sorry.

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It won't ever happen again. I throw myself at your mercy, Mother Nature. It was me. I'm sorry.

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I don't know what else to do, Rob. We made her mad.

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Well, you told me you heard that there was a tornado north of me and a tornado south of me.

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Yes. At like 5.45, 6 o'clock this morning, I was sitting outside smoking a cigarette.

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I heard what I thought was a train and there was no train around here.

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Well, then that was probably a tornado because they're having some problems. They haven't really addressed it per se.

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But remember, we had four tornadoes not quite a week ago. I think it's last Sunday night in Kansas City.

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There was no report of them at all that night.

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They found out the next day when the National Weather Service went out there and they said, no, this was an EF1 and this was an EF0 or whatever.

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So there was actually four tornadoes in the Kansas City area, but they did not call one of them.

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No sirens, no alerts, nothing. They just said that it was just, you know, severe thunderstorms, but definitely no tornadoes.

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There was four of them that night and they found out about the next day.

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And this has been happening everywhere where they're just missing them on the radar.

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So something is going on with radar, cyber terrorism.

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I don't know, you know, like I was talking about the Kansas City, the whole system getting locked up for ransomware.

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There's something going on with the radar that they're not as effective on indicating these wind velocities like they used to be.

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So I don't know. We're going to see if it gets like it used to be.

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It used to be they were able to detect it right when it about started, right?

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And they're going, OK, and then they break in and they start showing the winds.

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The winds on radar are different colored, OK, so they show a blue and a red and a green really tight in one area.

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And they go, as you can see, this is this speed.

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This winds this speed and it's all in this tight area.

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So this would have to be a rotating cloud, right?

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So they don't know if it's actually on the ground or not, but they have to call it a tornado warning because it is capable.

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If it's not producing one or a funnel cloud, it's capable of doing it at any time.

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So they have to call a tornado warning and they would be able to spot them right when they happen and they break in and go, hey, you know what?

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This is so and so from Storm Jack five or whatever.

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OK, so Storm Jack five will go all right.

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And this one is right over a mission, as you can see, if you're at the mall, take cover.

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If you're here, you know, they're missing that for the other night and then they missed a couple down, well, a little bit north of our friends in Montrose.

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They've been getting hammered pretty good this year.

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Yeah, they have been. Yeah, especially at EF 1000 with that we did, I think is a thousand mile winds and five miles long.

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Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

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Yeah, yeah, yeah. It wiped out their own grain silo and we're you know, we should do a moment of silence for that.

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Hang on. Here we go.

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OK, we all had time to reflect on the grain silo.

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Yeah, OK. And Rob coincidentally is in charge of getting another one for him.

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Have you had any luck?

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They keep blowing over.

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There you go, Montrose.

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Yeah, there's a shortage on grain silos right now.

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Especially this damn year.

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All these damn storms. Yeah.

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North of us and south of us are going pretty much around.

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Yeah, and they've been the boot of God has been kicking the shit out of Montrose all year.

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Yeah.

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So anyhow.

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All right. So.

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That's the ones right in north of me.

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Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Montrose is to the north. So there you go.

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OK, so that was an interesting phenomenon that never happens. Hardly. It happened before.

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Around Kansas City a long time ago. I remember a little bit about it.

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And it's just it's so odd that you can get 82 mile an hour wind and non severe than a severe storm that they have to call comes in.

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And they go there's a severe storm, but it actually lowers the wind speeds.

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Insane. So anyhow.

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I'm going to go on to more of our first third now that wasn't even on it, but we had to address all that stuff here real quick.

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We talked about it.

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OK, Kellogg's is recalling boxes of his new chocolate cornflakes due to concerns they contain hard lumps that could cause damage to teeth and be a choking hazard.

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The cereal brand has asked people who bought the packs to dispose of them as a precaution after the problem was discovered.

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They have a full refund at the retailer that you bought it, but they they tell you to throw it away and then you go find your bill and then you get your money back for it.

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OK, but coincidentally, the NFL has decided to do that with the Dallas Cowboys.

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They determined they're a choking hazard, too.

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I can see that. Yeah. Yeah, they're a choking hazard.

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Right. So anyhow, the NFL said if you have any Cowboys gear, you're instructed to burn it allegedly and they will reimburse you because they are a choking hazard, too.

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So sorry, Mike.

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Who's Mike?

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Buddy I work with.

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Is he a Cowboy fan?

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Yeah, yeah, he's originally from Texas.

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OK, all right.

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Hey, Mike, we love you.

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Just jokes.

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We give him mail all the time.

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OK.

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One of the funniest signs I ever seen coincidentally is AT&T Stadium in Irving, Texas.

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It remember when the Dicks out for Harambe phenomenon was going on.

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Yeah.

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OK.

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A couple of people in that stadium used to have Dax out for Harambe.

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For Dak Prescott his first year, his rookie year.

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I just thought it was brilliant Dax out for Harambe and anyone that knew, knew.

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OK.

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And, you know, it was one of the stories that like people knew about it, but not everybody knew about it.

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It originated on the Weather Channel, I believe.

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I think this is the first one.

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But in colleges, it began began organically, I guess, when Harambe was killed because that stupid fucking Karen was on her phone and didn't watch her little fucking snot nose brat.

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So instead of instead of shooting her like they should have, they shot the gorilla.

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So anyhow, there was college kids that were around naked and screamed Dix out for Harambe.

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And this happened on the Weather Channel.

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They're doing a hurricane report.

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And you know how they got the chick there and the winds blowing, whether the winds blowing or not, they're going to show you that it's blowing and whether they got big fans or whatever.

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OK.

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So they're down there being dramatic.

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And the winds right now are 110 and we can barely stand up, you know, and all that shit.

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Well, a group of college kids come running by naked.

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And this is on the Weather Channel.

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And it was live.

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And they're screaming Dix out for Harambe.

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So that is how it originated.

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So anyhow, that that that Dax out for Harambe was brilliant.

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And they quit showing it after a while because I don't think they knew what it meant at first.

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And then I think someone probably went up and said, do you guys know what that actually means?

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Like, I don't know.

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No. Why?

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And then they told me, I think they're like, ah, OK, don't show that anymore.

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So anyhow, so we move right along here.

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Nashville, Tennessee.

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There were numerous power outages.

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Was this severe weather?

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No.

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Was it vandalism?

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Nope.

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Well, then what the hell was it?

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The Russians demand too high.

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The grid collapse.

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Not it was some curious snakes and made their way into the Henpeck substation in Franklin, Tennessee.

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Oh, God.

206
00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:21,000
Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep.

207
00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:25,000
And they took power out to thousands of people.

208
00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:28,000
I mean, the snakes are no more.

209
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:30,000
They were fried pretty bad.

210
00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:37,000
But they were having a problem, the snakes were getting into there for some reason and shorting out the circuitry.

211
00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:43,000
So anyhow, I don't know if it's still going on, but it was going on for a while.

212
00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:46,000
And, you know, those poor little snakes didn't make it.

213
00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:53,000
And there's a lot of people without power because of those poor little snakes that chose to commit suicide via the power grid.

214
00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:55,000
So, yeah.

215
00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:57,000
So anyhow, well, OK.

216
00:19:57,000 --> 00:20:01,000
Well, if you take it back, they probably went there because it was warm.

217
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:02,000
You know what? You're right, Rob.

218
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:03,000
Because they sun.

219
00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:06,000
All of the components being warmed up.

220
00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:07,000
Yeah.

221
00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:11,000
When I was younger and a child, we did move to Arkansas for a year.

222
00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:19,000
And the thing that I found out that I had no idea is copperheads and water moccasins both love to sun themselves on the sun porch.

223
00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:20,000
They love concrete.

224
00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:24,000
And they would lie there in the sun because they are cold-blooded creatures, right?

225
00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:27,000
And I would walk out and go, oh, shit.

226
00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:38,000
One time we had a water moccasin and a cottonhead right next to or not a cottonhead, cottonmouth water moccasin and a copperhead right next to each other on our porch.

227
00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:40,000
And I was like, oh, shit.

228
00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:42,000
So I go in, I'm like, yeah, there's a couple of snakes out there.

229
00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:43,000
And then all of a sudden he's like, oh, shit.

230
00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:47,000
So he go get the hoe and he, you know, chop the head off of them.

231
00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:48,000
Of course.

232
00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:52,000
So they love to sun themselves.

233
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:53,000
You're right.

234
00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:56,000
And I remember that it used to scare the shit out of me because I was just a little turd.

235
00:20:56,000 --> 00:21:08,000
And anyhow, I did not like him sunning on our patio because that meant that I had to stay indoors until someone killed it because I was too much of a chicken shit at that age.

236
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:11,000
So, okay.

237
00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:14,000
Next.

238
00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:28,000
Okay. There's this, there's a, as part of the melanoma awareness month, Neutrogena developed a one of a kind survey aimed at discovering sun habits of Gen Z.

239
00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:38,000
28% of Gen Z said that tanning was more important than possible skin cancer.

240
00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:44,000
Many prioritized tan skin over sunscreen at an 80% ratio.

241
00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:51,000
71% said that being outside, such as a beach or pool, was very important to them.

242
00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:53,000
Well, I would agree with that.

243
00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:57,000
69% said they prefer a job outdoors as well.

244
00:21:57,000 --> 00:21:59,000
Now that's a big shift.

245
00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:07,000
I know that they have a weird philosophy about they chose to maybe get skin cancer and be out in the sun without sunscreen.

246
00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:09,000
Oh yeah, yeah, that's a little odd.

247
00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:15,000
But think about this. Our generations, it was to strive to be indoors, right?

248
00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:20,000
The outdoor jobs were usually hell, you know, you're like digging a ditch or something.

249
00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:27,000
Gen Z would rather, almost 70% would rather be outdoors working.

250
00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:29,000
That's a big shift.

251
00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:30,000
Yeah, that is.

252
00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:32,000
Yeah.

253
00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:37,000
I mean, I don't know why that is. It doesn't go into that in this article.

254
00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:44,000
But 69%, almost 70%, prefer a job outdoors as well.

255
00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:48,000
Now maybe their multiple face tattoos will fade in the sun.

256
00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:49,000
We can only hope.

257
00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:50,000
Yeah, it could be.

258
00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:51,000
Yeah, it could be.

259
00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:55,000
I could find that a really good useful tool then, you know.

260
00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:57,000
That's a good tool.

261
00:22:57,000 --> 00:23:05,000
Yep. Duncan has come out with a new 40 ounce wicked large Tumblr.

262
00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:09,000
It retails for just under, you'll see why I said that.

263
00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:15,000
It retails for just under $40, inspired by the famous New England accent.

264
00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:23,000
So now youngins can spend $40 on a glorified mug and remember to call it large.

265
00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:24,000
It is stupid.

266
00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:28,000
They spell it A-A-A-H-H-H-G.

267
00:23:28,000 --> 00:23:34,000
So, anyhow, so you know youngins can pick up a glorified mug for $40.

268
00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:39,000
It's almost as much as a venti frappuccino Starbucks.

269
00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:43,000
Remember to offer to ask for coffee base.

270
00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:46,000
Otherwise it's pretty much a milkshake, right?

271
00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:47,000
Yeah.

272
00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:49,000
It cracks me up.

273
00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:54,000
I see people order it Starbucks and they don't order coffee base frappuccino.

274
00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:56,000
That's a shake.

275
00:23:56,000 --> 00:24:03,000
Why don't you go to Andy's and get a better one, you know, for less money.

276
00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:07,000
I'm sorry man, you know, I'm not going to order any type of frappuccino from Starbucks

277
00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:09,000
unless there's a lot of coffee in that son of a bitch.

278
00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:11,000
If not, it's counterproductive.

279
00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:12,000
So.

280
00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:13,000
Right.

281
00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:14,000
Yeah.

282
00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:19,000
It's going to cost about as much as a large Dunkin'.

283
00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:21,000
So, anyhow, and you know what?

284
00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:28,000
I'm almost tempted to go buy one just so I can say that five or six times really loud in the Dunkin'.

285
00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:29,000
I bet.

286
00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:30,000
Yeah.

287
00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:31,000
I probably won't though.

288
00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:33,000
So, okay.

289
00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:34,000
Okay.

290
00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:35,000
Let's see.

291
00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:38,000
Well, Memorial Day is tomorrow, right?

292
00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:43,000
So everyone be safe and remember the brave men and women that fought for the right to

293
00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:47,000
buy a $40 tumbler or get skin cancer.

294
00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:48,000
Remember those.

295
00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:49,000
Yes.

296
00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:50,000
Thank you.

297
00:24:50,000 --> 00:24:51,000
Yeah.

298
00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:56,000
You will not be getting skin cancer like you wish and you will not be getting a large 40

299
00:24:56,000 --> 00:25:01,000
ounce tumbler if it wasn't for these fine men and women that served and fought for our

300
00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:02,000
freedom.

301
00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:07,000
So remember that tomorrow when you're drinking your fucking mocha latte and scratching your

302
00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:09,000
nuts or vagina.

303
00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:10,000
So.

304
00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:11,000
All right.

305
00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:16,000
So if you see or know a vet, just go thank them.

306
00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:22,000
That small gesture means so much and I know this to be true because I know veterans and

307
00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:24,000
they don't want money.

308
00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:28,000
They don't want you to go, you know, they don't want worship or praise.

309
00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:32,000
A simple thank you means everything to them.

310
00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:34,000
So if you get a chance, just do it.

311
00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:36,000
It doesn't hurt you at all.

312
00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:40,000
So, anyhow, just something to think about.

313
00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:47,000
Mars has revealed its two twenty twenty four Halloween candy lineup.

314
00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:50,000
All right, Rob, are you ready for these?

315
00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:51,000
I don't know.

316
00:25:51,000 --> 00:25:53,000
Yeah, go ahead.

317
00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:55,000
They're actually pretty good, Rob.

318
00:25:55,000 --> 00:26:01,000
M&M's milk chocolate pumpkin pie.

319
00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:02,000
Yeah.

320
00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:03,000
All right.

321
00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:07,000
I mean, look, I'm not really a pumpkin spice fan, but this is pumpkin pie and a chocolate

322
00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:08,000
M&M.

323
00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:10,000
That's completely different.

324
00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:12,000
Now, that's two totally different things.

325
00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:13,000
Yeah.

326
00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:18,000
If this pumpkin spice M&M, I'd vomit on them because I'm so sick of pumpkin spice.

327
00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:22,000
As a matter of fact, didn't pumpkin spice get a couple of ass paddlings?

328
00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:23,000
Yeah.

329
00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:24,000
Yeah.

330
00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:25,000
Yeah.

331
00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:26,000
And anyone that buys it.

332
00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:27,000
OK.

333
00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:28,000
All right.

334
00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:29,000
So OK.

335
00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:31,000
The pies are in a totally different class.

336
00:26:31,000 --> 00:26:32,000
Yes.

337
00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:33,000
Pumpkin pie tastes completely different.

338
00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:35,000
It's not that cheap spice shit.

339
00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:38,000
So anyhow.

340
00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:39,000
OK.

341
00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:46,000
So how about a Twix ghoulish green, ghouls in milk chocolate?

342
00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:52,000
It's greenish ghouls is what they call it.

343
00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:54,000
So I guess it's a ghoul looking.

344
00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:55,000
There wasn't a picture.

345
00:26:55,000 --> 00:26:57,000
So I guess it's Twix.

346
00:26:57,000 --> 00:27:00,000
This is what I gather from the article.

347
00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:05,000
This is a Twix that is in the shape of a ghoul and it's green, but it's Twix.

348
00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:07,000
But it tastes like chocolate.

349
00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:08,000
Yes.

350
00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:09,000
So there you go.

351
00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:11,000
You can't beat that either, can you?

352
00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:12,000
You could.

353
00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:15,000
I can see that being kind of popular.

354
00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:16,000
Yeah.

355
00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:17,000
Yeah.

356
00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:18,000
You cannot beat that with a hammer.

357
00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:19,000
I'm telling you.

358
00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:21,000
So of course.

359
00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:31,000
And finally, we cannot leave out the pumpkin pie Snickers.

360
00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:32,000
Yeah.

361
00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:33,000
Yeah.

362
00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:34,000
Yeah.

363
00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:35,000
I'm on board.

364
00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:40,000
Pumpkin pie Snickers to help future amputees due to diabetes infection.

365
00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:49,000
Also, in a related story, Levi's has come out with elastic band slacks just for Halloween.

366
00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:51,000
You're welcome.

367
00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:52,000
So eat away.

368
00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:53,000
OK.

369
00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:57,000
That band will stretch.

370
00:27:57,000 --> 00:27:58,000
All right.

371
00:27:58,000 --> 00:28:00,000
And moving right on.

372
00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:10,000
Independent presidential candidate RFK Jr., Robert F. Kennedy Jr., said in a 2012 interview

373
00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:14,000
that a parasite had eaten part of his brain.

374
00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:21,000
Eventually, the parasite, I mean evidently, the parasite was on a diet.

375
00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:25,000
So tell me, did Congress possibly catch this as well?

376
00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:34,000
And the parasite, I think when it attacked RFK, it was trying to slim down a little bit,

377
00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:35,000
the parasite, right?

378
00:28:35,000 --> 00:28:38,000
Because it didn't eat that many brains.

379
00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:41,000
When it went to Congress, it probably starved to death.

380
00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:44,000
So the one that's out there now is probably a new one.

381
00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:51,000
So anyhow, you know, and the parasite would probably perish in the president's skull due

382
00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:54,000
to lack of no food.

383
00:28:54,000 --> 00:28:55,000
Too soon?

384
00:28:55,000 --> 00:28:56,000
Too soon?

385
00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:59,000
I'm leaving that right there.

386
00:28:59,000 --> 00:29:00,000
Hey, you.

387
00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:01,000
Mic drop.

388
00:29:01,000 --> 00:29:02,000
Yeah, mic drop.

389
00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:03,000
Here's the deal.

390
00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:04,000
OK.

391
00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:08,000
If someone doesn't like my Biden jokes, I'll make fun of Trump, too.

392
00:29:08,000 --> 00:29:10,000
I don't care.

393
00:29:10,000 --> 00:29:11,000
So.

394
00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:13,000
Yeah, I don't like either one.

395
00:29:13,000 --> 00:29:19,000
Yeah, you know, I wish we had a different but yeah, anyhow, AI has come up with its

396
00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:23,000
perceived images of different regions of the U.S.

397
00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:26,000
It was surprisingly close in most cases.

398
00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:31,000
Alabama had a rather disheveled man with a couple of teeth missing.

399
00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:38,000
Wisconsin has a typical cheese head complete with a beer in hand and cheese in the other.

400
00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:41,000
Arizona was a well-aged individual.

401
00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:45,000
And Kansas City was a picture of crime tape.

402
00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:50,000
Wah wah wah wah.

403
00:29:50,000 --> 00:29:51,000
OK.

404
00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:53,000
Yeah, yeah.

405
00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:54,000
OK.

406
00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:56,000
You're being brutal tonight, buddy.

407
00:29:56,000 --> 00:29:57,000
I'm trying.

408
00:29:57,000 --> 00:30:00,000
Remember, remember, I'm a little excited.

409
00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:01,000
Yeah.

410
00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:03,000
Remember the first third on the last one and you said you're on a roll.

411
00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:05,000
I said, wait till the next one.

412
00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:08,000
Well, we're at the next one.

413
00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:10,000
Like I said, it was remarkably close.

414
00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:19,000
My favorite was Georgia and it had a rather southern looking gentleman sitting on a chair eating a peach off a off a peach tree.

415
00:30:19,000 --> 00:30:20,000
It was cool.

416
00:30:20,000 --> 00:30:26,000
It was just some guy and he was on a chair underneath a peach tree eating a peach.

417
00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:30,000
And this is what AI thinks everybody in Georgia generally does.

418
00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:33,000
So.

419
00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:38,000
So my my question of the day, Rob, is this right here.

420
00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:48,000
If there's a hell no and a heaven's yes, why isn't there a purgatory maybe?

421
00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:50,000
I think we're getting ripped off.

422
00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:53,000
Yeah, we are getting ripped off.

423
00:30:53,000 --> 00:30:55,000
I never thought that's a good point.

424
00:30:55,000 --> 00:31:00,000
That should be a it should be a purgatory maybe there to leave people in suspense and hanging.

425
00:31:00,000 --> 00:31:04,000
So just saying case in point.

426
00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:05,000
Just saying.

427
00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:06,000
Yeah.

428
00:31:06,000 --> 00:31:07,000
Yep.

429
00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:08,000
Over and out.

430
00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:15,000
So I've had multiple emails about a live stream or a download of goat noises.

431
00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:17,000
I have decided it's such a civil.

432
00:31:17,000 --> 00:31:18,000
I'm serious, Rob.

433
00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:23,000
People caught onto this goat noises thing and they're sending fucking emails about it.

434
00:31:23,000 --> 00:31:27,000
And I'm having trouble sorting through all of them and get into the real stuff.

435
00:31:27,000 --> 00:31:32,000
So I mean, our assholes are good.

436
00:31:32,000 --> 00:31:33,000
They're on it.

437
00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:35,000
I swear.

438
00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:37,000
Yeah.

439
00:31:37,000 --> 00:31:43,000
So anyhow, so they want to live stream or download a goat noises.

440
00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:47,000
So I've decided this as a civil war enactment has been canceled in Montrose, Missouri.

441
00:31:47,000 --> 00:31:55,000
Very sadly, on account of the very rare EF 1000 with 1000 mile an hour winds that destroyed the town's only grain bin.

442
00:31:55,000 --> 00:32:07,000
The 10 best civil war costumes of guests that show up on Douchebag Day in Montrose will receive a free 10 hour download of the much loved goat noises with the occasional duck in the background.

443
00:32:07,000 --> 00:32:09,000
Don't you think that's fair?

444
00:32:09,000 --> 00:32:11,000
So yeah, that'd be fair.

445
00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:12,000
Yeah.

446
00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:13,000
Yeah.

447
00:32:13,000 --> 00:32:23,000
In addition to the download, we were granted special permission from Chet to run a three way cord so you can use a couple of the electric items in your camping spot.

448
00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:25,000
We care at Douchebag Central.

449
00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:26,000
What can we say?

450
00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:27,000
What can we say?

451
00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:28,000
Cool.

452
00:32:28,000 --> 00:32:29,000
Yep.

453
00:32:29,000 --> 00:32:37,000
So Rob, I turn to you once again to make this program legible.

454
00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:40,000
Have at it.

455
00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:41,000
Yeah.

456
00:32:41,000 --> 00:32:42,000
Good luck with that.

457
00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:47,000
No such luck, huh?

458
00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:58,000
If you decide to go to one of the allegedly most haunted cemeteries in Missouri and dare to ask a question, don't be shocked if something answers.

459
00:32:58,000 --> 00:33:10,000
That's exactly what happened recently to some ghost hunters who got more than they bargained for trying to summon a cemetery ghost in Missouri.

460
00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:15,000
Just so everybody knows, this is on TikTok.

461
00:33:15,000 --> 00:33:17,000
Okay.

462
00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:27,000
It goes on to say, before I share the video, Colin Tate from TikTok, a few very important disclaimers.

463
00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:35,000
I have had personal experiences with the forces of darkness and it's something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.

464
00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:45,000
Laugh if you want, but evil is very real and wants to destroy you. The good news is, ultimately, they lose.

465
00:33:45,000 --> 00:33:48,000
And that's a topic for a different day.

466
00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:50,000
Okay.

467
00:33:50,000 --> 00:33:59,000
With all that being said, there's an app that Colin Tate used in a Missouri cemetery that many believe is haunted.

468
00:33:59,000 --> 00:34:06,000
It's called Spirit Talker and it's available for Android and Apple phones.

469
00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:08,000
I've seen that.

470
00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:16,000
But they placed their phone with this app active on a great, witty girl named Laura and tried to summon her.

471
00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:22,000
And then it says, this is what happened and it goes into the video.

472
00:34:22,000 --> 00:34:34,000
But let this be a teachable moment for us all. If you go ask evil a question, something will possibly answer.

473
00:34:34,000 --> 00:34:40,000
But it's not really a girl named Laura. It's something much more sinister.

474
00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:42,000
Okay.

475
00:34:42,000 --> 00:34:50,000
I have no doubt that Colin Tate were not seeking evil, but having some investigative fund in a Missouri cemetery.

476
00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:59,000
However, you need to understand the forces you're really dealing with if you choose to go ghost hunting.

477
00:34:59,000 --> 00:35:01,000
Wow.

478
00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:03,000
That's a good point.

479
00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:04,000
Okay.

480
00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:09,000
If you're going to go ghost hunting, you better make sure you're ready for what happens.

481
00:35:09,000 --> 00:35:10,000
Yes.

482
00:35:10,000 --> 00:35:12,000
You never know. You never know.

483
00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:18,000
Well, okay, I got one for you, Rob. Do you know what a divot box is or a spirit box?

484
00:35:18,000 --> 00:35:19,000
Yes. Yes, I do.

485
00:35:19,000 --> 00:35:23,000
People have been comparing that app to a spirit box or a divot box.

486
00:35:23,000 --> 00:35:31,000
They say it's evil and it invites evil into wherever you're at and that evil can get into you.

487
00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:36,000
There's a lot of people that are very much opposed to this app.

488
00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:46,000
They say it is an electronic version of a divot box or a spirit box. Have you heard that?

489
00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:49,000
No, I have not heard that.

490
00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:53,000
Yes. They're saying that this thing is kind of like an Ouija board or something.

491
00:35:53,000 --> 00:35:59,000
You know, a divot box, they say stay the hell away from because you don't bother the dead, right?

492
00:35:59,000 --> 00:36:00,000
You know, you leave them alone.

493
00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:01,000
Right.

494
00:36:01,000 --> 00:36:11,000
Okay. They say that a divot box disturbs them and then they might get angry and enter your body or the house or something like that.

495
00:36:11,000 --> 00:36:14,000
That's what people are saying about this app.

496
00:36:14,000 --> 00:36:19,000
Very interesting. Look it up out there if you want to and Rob, you can look it up personally.

497
00:36:19,000 --> 00:36:21,000
But it's just something to think about.

498
00:36:21,000 --> 00:36:22,000
Okay.

499
00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:26,000
I'm not saying yay or nay. I'm just saying that that is out there.

500
00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:35,000
So we're way late for our first break. So let's go ahead and take it and we'll come right back.

501
00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:36,000
Sounds good.

502
00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:41,000
I got a Tony Ahomi slash Eddie Van Halen story that's really interesting.

503
00:36:41,000 --> 00:36:42,000
All right. Cool.

504
00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:44,000
All right. We'll be right back.

505
00:36:51,000 --> 00:37:00,000
Two douchebags and microphone in an effort to keep everything fresh. We offer you first world problems.

506
00:37:00,000 --> 00:37:07,000
I can't believe the coffee grinder is broke at the big box store.

507
00:37:07,000 --> 00:37:14,000
There's no way I can be expected to grind my coffee beans every damn morning.

508
00:37:24,000 --> 00:37:32,000
The apocalypse just happened. You don't know what to do. You don't know where to go. But we can tell you what you can eat.

509
00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:37,000
The wild violet is an unsung hero.

510
00:37:37,000 --> 00:37:44,000
Most people don't realize that the flower can be stewed to make a delicious vinegar for the fresh greens that can be picked in your front yard.

511
00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:47,000
Violet soap can be easily made as well.

512
00:37:47,000 --> 00:37:52,000
The flower is full of many essential minerals as well as vitamin A, C, and E.

513
00:37:52,000 --> 00:37:56,000
It is literally one of the first super foods.

514
00:37:56,000 --> 00:38:04,000
Break shit house energy drink. That's right. Break shit house energy drink. Make men feel more girl.

515
00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:10,000
Chug on your balls. You want to fuck shit up. You want to force them across America.

516
00:38:10,000 --> 00:38:12,000
Break shit house is for you.

517
00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:19,000
Please enjoy brick shit house energy drink responsibly. It's not readily available anywhere because of liability issues.

518
00:38:19,000 --> 00:38:25,000
Please remember to go to Cole's dressing room, wait five minutes and scream, Hey, there's no toilet paper in here.

519
00:38:25,000 --> 00:38:34,000
And if you ever wondered where something came from, if you ever looked at something and said,

520
00:38:34,000 --> 00:38:42,000
Hey, I wonder what the origin of that is. Well, so have we. That's why we give you the origin of.

521
00:38:42,000 --> 00:38:45,000
The origin of the hamburger bun.

522
00:38:45,000 --> 00:38:55,000
The family of Oscar Willerby claims the first known hamburger on a bun was served on July 4th, 1891 on Grandpa Oscar's farm.

523
00:38:55,000 --> 00:38:59,000
The bun was reportedly a yeast bun.

524
00:38:59,000 --> 00:39:05,000
Oh shit. What's that over there? Oh no. It's Island of Horrible Jokes.

525
00:39:05,000 --> 00:39:19,000
I can't take my dog to the lake. The ducks keep attacking him. That's what I get for having a purebred dog.

526
00:39:19,000 --> 00:39:31,000
Next up, things overheard in hell.

527
00:39:31,000 --> 00:39:39,000
Great news. William Houn's world tour has been extended.

528
00:39:39,000 --> 00:39:43,000
And now, deep thoughts with Mark.

529
00:39:43,000 --> 00:39:55,000
If at first you don't succeed, maybe you shouldn't try skydiving.

530
00:39:55,000 --> 00:39:59,000
Just a thought.

531
00:39:59,000 --> 00:40:24,000
Your mom is so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.

532
00:40:24,000 --> 00:40:28,000
Welcome back to Two Deuce Bags and Microphone. I'm Mark.

533
00:40:28,000 --> 00:40:30,000
And I am Rob.

534
00:40:30,000 --> 00:40:35,000
Oh, Rob, really quick. I'm getting ready to go into this Tony Iommi slash Eddie Van Halen story.

535
00:40:35,000 --> 00:40:41,000
But I just wanted to tell you, have you been listening to 101 the Fox online?

536
00:40:41,000 --> 00:40:43,000
No, I have not. Not recently.

537
00:40:43,000 --> 00:40:47,000
They're doing the top 500 for Memorial Weekend.

538
00:40:47,000 --> 00:40:49,000
Oh, okay. They definitely do that every year.

539
00:40:49,000 --> 00:40:54,000
Oh, they do? Okay, I didn't know that. KY used to do it all the time. That's why I mentioned it. It was like, wow, okay.

540
00:40:54,000 --> 00:41:01,000
I didn't know they did it since then. So, okay.

541
00:41:01,000 --> 00:41:05,000
Yeah, I'm pretty sure I've used to listen to it.

542
00:41:05,000 --> 00:41:06,000
Okay, no, you're probably...

543
00:41:06,000 --> 00:41:07,000
Maybe last day was, huh?

544
00:41:07,000 --> 00:41:11,000
Oh, well, it doesn't matter. I just thought I'd mention that to you.

545
00:41:11,000 --> 00:41:15,000
So, okay. In a recent interview with Eddie Trunk,

546
00:41:15,000 --> 00:41:25,000
Tony Iommi confirmed that there is indeed a recording of him and Eddie Van Halen playing Black Sabbath songs together.

547
00:41:25,000 --> 00:41:30,000
Now, this, I think you're into music, Rob. This has been rumored for a long time, right?

548
00:41:30,000 --> 00:41:34,000
People say, yeah, you know, but they didn't know if there was a recording or not.

549
00:41:34,000 --> 00:41:37,000
Well, people have been saying that there was definitely a recording.

550
00:41:37,000 --> 00:41:48,000
Eddie Trunk asked Tony Iommi, who came on a show midweek last week, maybe Wednesday or something, and he asked him, he said, does this exist?

551
00:41:48,000 --> 00:41:51,000
Tony Iommi said, yes, it was recorded.

552
00:41:51,000 --> 00:41:58,000
And his assistant, his guitar tech, who was his assistant, that was going through all the tapes, he passed away last year.

553
00:41:58,000 --> 00:42:07,000
And nobody's going through the tapes right now because he has boxes of thousands of riffs of tapes and CDs.

554
00:42:07,000 --> 00:42:12,000
Okay. And it's in there somewhere, but he doesn't know where.

555
00:42:12,000 --> 00:42:15,000
And he hasn't had time to look through it to find it.

556
00:42:15,000 --> 00:42:22,000
But he said that there is a actual recording of him and Eddie Van Halen playing Black Sabbath songs.

557
00:42:22,000 --> 00:42:25,000
And that would be phenomenal, wouldn't it?

558
00:42:25,000 --> 00:42:27,000
Yes, that would be.

559
00:42:27,000 --> 00:42:31,000
Yeah, you know, so I'll go ahead with this article here.

560
00:42:31,000 --> 00:42:34,000
This has been rumored of happening for years now.

561
00:42:34,000 --> 00:42:37,000
And now we know it exists.

562
00:42:37,000 --> 00:42:39,000
So how can we listen to it?

563
00:42:39,000 --> 00:42:47,000
Hopefully one day Iommi can locate it in his boxes and boxes of music and riffs and real one off recordings such as that.

564
00:42:47,000 --> 00:42:53,000
He is slowly going through all the material and he's talking about maybe getting another assistant or something to help him.

565
00:42:53,000 --> 00:42:56,000
I hope he does, because I would like to see this sooner than later.

566
00:42:56,000 --> 00:42:58,000
I would love that.

567
00:42:58,000 --> 00:43:05,000
Can you imagine Eddie Van Halen just improvising his shit on how brilliant it was on Black Sabbath riffs?

568
00:43:05,000 --> 00:43:09,000
It would be amazeball stuff.

569
00:43:09,000 --> 00:43:17,000
He also said that his good friend Jimmy Page also had some riffs in storage, too, that had never been released.

570
00:43:17,000 --> 00:43:19,000
Wow.

571
00:43:19,000 --> 00:43:23,000
Hopefully one day for both of those to be released.

572
00:43:23,000 --> 00:43:29,000
That's all we can do, because I would love to hear Jimmy Page's box of riffs.

573
00:43:29,000 --> 00:43:39,000
For a long time now, Tony Iommi is supposed to put together an album with Brian May of Queen of nothing but riffs and how to play them.

574
00:43:39,000 --> 00:43:48,000
Him and Brian May were going to like describe some of their favorite riffs and ones you haven't heard before and put it on, I don't know, a double CD or something.

575
00:43:48,000 --> 00:43:51,000
Did you ever hear about that, Rob?

576
00:43:51,000 --> 00:43:53,000
No, I didn't.

577
00:43:53,000 --> 00:43:54,000
Okay.

578
00:43:54,000 --> 00:43:56,000
They were supposed to do this for quite a while now.

579
00:43:56,000 --> 00:44:00,000
It was actually supposed to come out about ten years ago, and I don't know what the deal is.

580
00:44:00,000 --> 00:44:02,000
I don't know if they scrapped it.

581
00:44:02,000 --> 00:44:05,000
I haven't heard anything about it in a long time.

582
00:44:05,000 --> 00:44:13,000
But him and Brian May were putting together a double CD, if you will, or whatever, download, or whatever you want.

583
00:44:13,000 --> 00:44:15,000
And it's going to be a lot of music.

584
00:44:15,000 --> 00:44:24,000
It's a lot of riffs that Tony Iommi came up with and Brian May came up with and simple instructions on how to play them.

585
00:44:24,000 --> 00:44:34,000
So it's going to be like a music aid, but with some really cool riffs you never heard before.

586
00:44:34,000 --> 00:44:43,000
So anyhow, we can only hope that all the three we just discussed come out sometime, and hopefully it isn't too much longer.

587
00:44:43,000 --> 00:44:49,000
And hopefully Iommi isn't getting any younger, or Brian May isn't.

588
00:44:49,000 --> 00:44:52,000
Hopefully it comes out before anything happens to either one of them.

589
00:44:52,000 --> 00:44:58,000
Because one thing that Tony Iommi did mention to Eddie Trunk is, Eddie Trunk asked about his health.

590
00:44:58,000 --> 00:45:02,000
And he said his health actually wasn't that good here lately.

591
00:45:02,000 --> 00:45:06,000
He had to go see a cardiologist about his heart.

592
00:45:06,000 --> 00:45:13,000
So I hope that was nothing, because we like Tony Iommi being around, right?

593
00:45:13,000 --> 00:45:14,000
Yes, we do.

594
00:45:14,000 --> 00:45:17,000
Yeah, he's in his mid 70s.

595
00:45:17,000 --> 00:45:19,000
He is a master of his craft.

596
00:45:19,000 --> 00:45:30,000
I mean, I was quite taken back in that article I said a couple of podcasts ago about Ozzy, who's worked with the greatest guitarists ever, on a regular basis.

597
00:45:30,000 --> 00:45:35,000
He found him, whatever, you know, Sharon found him, whoever.

598
00:45:35,000 --> 00:45:38,000
He just worked with some of the best ever.

599
00:45:38,000 --> 00:45:42,000
And he said that Tony Iommi was the best guitarist he ever worked with.

600
00:45:42,000 --> 00:45:51,000
That's quite an honor when you look at Randy Rhoades, Jakey Lee, Zach Wilde, Joe Holmes, Gus G., Brad Gillis.

601
00:45:51,000 --> 00:45:54,000
Oh, there's more that I'm not even thinking to.

602
00:45:54,000 --> 00:45:56,000
He was going to work with Michael Schenkner.

603
00:45:56,000 --> 00:45:58,000
Jack Beck, Eric Clapton.

604
00:45:58,000 --> 00:46:01,000
Yes.

605
00:46:01,000 --> 00:46:02,000
Thank you, Rob.

606
00:46:02,000 --> 00:46:05,000
Yeah, so that right there, I don't need to say any more.

607
00:46:05,000 --> 00:46:13,000
So that guy right there, that guy that had all these musicians work with him, he said Tony Iommi was the best.

608
00:46:13,000 --> 00:46:15,000
There you go.

609
00:46:15,000 --> 00:46:16,000
That's an honor.

610
00:46:16,000 --> 00:46:17,000
It's an honor.

611
00:46:17,000 --> 00:46:18,000
All right.

612
00:46:18,000 --> 00:46:22,000
Anyhow, Rob, we turn to you.

613
00:46:22,000 --> 00:46:23,000
Okay.

614
00:46:23,000 --> 00:46:25,000
This is Rod Sale season, right?

615
00:46:25,000 --> 00:46:27,000
Yep.

616
00:46:27,000 --> 00:46:28,000
Well.

617
00:46:28,000 --> 00:46:29,000
...back to recording.

618
00:46:29,000 --> 00:46:30,000
Okay.

619
00:46:30,000 --> 00:46:31,000
Okay.

620
00:46:31,000 --> 00:46:43,000
Since it's garage sale season, here's a little list of five things you should never sell in garage sales.

621
00:46:43,000 --> 00:46:49,000
And some of this is no brainers, just saying.

622
00:46:49,000 --> 00:46:50,000
Okay.

623
00:46:50,000 --> 00:47:00,000
But just to remind everybody, upholstered furniture, wood frame furniture or metal dying furniture.

624
00:47:00,000 --> 00:47:06,000
Metal dying chairs often will sell if it's in good condition.

625
00:47:06,000 --> 00:47:11,000
But if you're trying to dump a ratty old fabric sofa, good luck.

626
00:47:11,000 --> 00:47:14,000
First off, it's likely heavy to move.

627
00:47:14,000 --> 00:47:24,000
And secondly, anything that's got stains, holes or is just completely out of date is probably better off in the dump.

628
00:47:24,000 --> 00:47:25,000
Yep.

629
00:47:25,000 --> 00:47:26,000
Agreed.

630
00:47:26,000 --> 00:47:30,000
Don't even waste your time with fabric furniture.

631
00:47:30,000 --> 00:47:32,000
It's probably not going to sell.

632
00:47:32,000 --> 00:47:33,000
Yep.

633
00:47:33,000 --> 00:47:35,000
Now you can try.

634
00:47:35,000 --> 00:47:37,000
Good luck.

635
00:47:37,000 --> 00:47:40,000
Next, old TVs.

636
00:47:40,000 --> 00:47:41,000
Okay.

637
00:47:41,000 --> 00:47:47,000
Seriously, does anyone really have a need for an old TV set anymore?

638
00:47:47,000 --> 00:47:48,000
Probably not.

639
00:47:48,000 --> 00:47:49,000
No.

640
00:47:49,000 --> 00:47:55,000
You can't even donate those things anymore to goodwill, which is a bad sign that they'll likely not sell anywhere.

641
00:47:55,000 --> 00:47:58,000
I agree.

642
00:47:58,000 --> 00:48:02,000
Man, you know, it has changed so much.

643
00:48:02,000 --> 00:48:05,000
Remember how much value used to be on a TV?

644
00:48:05,000 --> 00:48:07,000
Oh, yes.

645
00:48:07,000 --> 00:48:08,000
Yes.

646
00:48:08,000 --> 00:48:10,000
I mean, there used to be TV repair shops.

647
00:48:10,000 --> 00:48:11,000
Yeah.

648
00:48:11,000 --> 00:48:17,000
There used to be a very valuable appliance or instrument or everyone would call it.

649
00:48:17,000 --> 00:48:21,000
It used to be like the big focal point of every family, you know.

650
00:48:21,000 --> 00:48:26,000
And like you said, they had television repair shops, the old zenith.

651
00:48:26,000 --> 00:48:30,000
The zenith was like a console that you could put stuff on top of it.

652
00:48:30,000 --> 00:48:36,000
And like now you could see a free TV by the side of the road and go, I don't want that.

653
00:48:36,000 --> 00:48:37,000
Where am I going to put it?

654
00:48:37,000 --> 00:48:38,000
I got five.

655
00:48:38,000 --> 00:48:39,000
Right?

656
00:48:39,000 --> 00:48:40,000
Right.

657
00:48:40,000 --> 00:48:41,000
Right.

658
00:48:41,000 --> 00:48:46,000
And also the times have changed where anymore people just, I need a TV.

659
00:48:46,000 --> 00:48:47,000
I'll still buy a new one.

660
00:48:47,000 --> 00:48:48,000
Yeah, exactly.

661
00:48:48,000 --> 00:48:50,000
It's very disposable anymore.

662
00:48:50,000 --> 00:48:56,000
And they're a lot cheaper than they used to be.

663
00:48:56,000 --> 00:48:59,000
Okay.

664
00:48:59,000 --> 00:49:05,000
Next, collectibles, vintage jewelry, dishes or designer clothes.

665
00:49:05,000 --> 00:49:07,000
Hear us out on this.

666
00:49:07,000 --> 00:49:15,000
You may possibly get much more money for these items if you get them replaced or go through a consignment store.

667
00:49:15,000 --> 00:49:19,000
Don't sell yourself short just to get rid of stuff.

668
00:49:19,000 --> 00:49:25,000
You may be able to find an appraiser through the International Society of Appraisers.

669
00:49:25,000 --> 00:49:27,000
Hmm.

670
00:49:27,000 --> 00:49:29,000
That's a good thought.

671
00:49:29,000 --> 00:49:30,000
Okay.

672
00:49:30,000 --> 00:49:31,000
Yeah.

673
00:49:31,000 --> 00:49:38,000
So, you know, instead of throwing a ring out there and marketing it for two bucks, you know,

674
00:49:38,000 --> 00:49:41,000
it could be like worth four or five hundred.

675
00:49:41,000 --> 00:49:43,000
You never know.

676
00:49:43,000 --> 00:49:44,000
Yeah.

677
00:49:44,000 --> 00:49:47,000
Why won't you?

678
00:49:47,000 --> 00:49:53,000
Well, just people just clean stuff out.

679
00:49:53,000 --> 00:49:57,000
You know, it's just on the ground sale and they grab everything and throw it in.

680
00:49:57,000 --> 00:49:58,000
You know.

681
00:49:58,000 --> 00:49:59,000
Yeah. Yeah, you're right.

682
00:49:59,000 --> 00:50:01,000
And they'll go, oh, hang on.

683
00:50:01,000 --> 00:50:02,000
I got this in the corner.

684
00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:03,000
Time to be picky.

685
00:50:03,000 --> 00:50:06,000
If not, it's a lot of work for nothing.

686
00:50:06,000 --> 00:50:10,000
True.

687
00:50:10,000 --> 00:50:11,000
Okay.

688
00:50:11,000 --> 00:50:14,000
Next, anything recalled.

689
00:50:14,000 --> 00:50:22,000
Be especially careful with things like children's items, which often see a whole host of recalls.

690
00:50:22,000 --> 00:50:33,000
It's actually illegal to resell a recalled item per the Consumer Product Safety Improvement Act of 2008.

691
00:50:33,000 --> 00:50:38,000
You may even risk being fined.

692
00:50:38,000 --> 00:50:40,000
Okay.

693
00:50:40,000 --> 00:50:41,000
That's.

694
00:50:41,000 --> 00:50:43,000
I know it's illegal.

695
00:50:43,000 --> 00:50:47,000
I had no idea about that, honestly.

696
00:50:47,000 --> 00:50:48,000
Okay.

697
00:50:48,000 --> 00:50:49,000
Yeah.

698
00:50:49,000 --> 00:50:52,000
Okay.

699
00:50:52,000 --> 00:50:56,000
Next, old electronics.

700
00:50:56,000 --> 00:51:00,000
Old landline bones, VCRs, batch machines.

701
00:51:00,000 --> 00:51:06,000
If you don't have a use for something obsolete, why would somebody else?

702
00:51:06,000 --> 00:51:14,000
Instead of sending these items to landfill, look at finding an electronics recycling program near you.

703
00:51:14,000 --> 00:51:23,000
Depending on the item, your local Best Buy may also take it for recycling.

704
00:51:23,000 --> 00:51:25,000
Yeah.

705
00:51:25,000 --> 00:51:28,000
You know, like old computers, whatever, you know.

706
00:51:28,000 --> 00:51:29,000
Yeah.

707
00:51:29,000 --> 00:51:36,000
And another one, I think most people know this, but you take your hard drive out.

708
00:51:36,000 --> 00:51:43,000
Make sure and take your hard drive out because it's always connected to bank accounts and stuff like that.

709
00:51:43,000 --> 00:51:52,000
So I think everyone knows this, but just in case you don't, you take it to be disposed of an electronic disposal, wherever.

710
00:51:52,000 --> 00:51:56,000
Make sure and have your hard drive out of there.

711
00:51:56,000 --> 00:52:00,000
I have a stack of about 30 of them. I don't know what to do with, honestly.

712
00:52:00,000 --> 00:52:11,000
So anyhow, someone said you have to open them up and take out the disk and scratch the disk up to where no one can read it.

713
00:52:11,000 --> 00:52:16,000
That sound probably.

714
00:52:16,000 --> 00:52:17,000
Who knows?

715
00:52:17,000 --> 00:52:19,000
Yeah, I would think it would work.

716
00:52:19,000 --> 00:52:23,000
That's what I've always heard is, is you find the disk inside there.

717
00:52:23,000 --> 00:52:27,000
You scratch the piss out of to where it's unreadable and then no one can get your numbers.

718
00:52:27,000 --> 00:52:29,000
So anyhow, go ahead, Rob.

719
00:52:29,000 --> 00:52:32,000
So it'd be like an old vinyl record.

720
00:52:32,000 --> 00:52:33,000
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

721
00:52:33,000 --> 00:52:35,000
The same idea. You scratch up the vinyl record.

722
00:52:35,000 --> 00:52:37,000
It's not playing anything.

723
00:52:37,000 --> 00:52:38,000
Yeah, yeah.

724
00:52:38,000 --> 00:52:39,000
You ain't going to hear that.

725
00:52:39,000 --> 00:52:41,000
Yeah. Okay.

726
00:52:41,000 --> 00:52:44,000
Stuff you never think about, right?

727
00:52:44,000 --> 00:52:45,000
Right.

728
00:52:45,000 --> 00:52:47,000
Anyhow, go ahead.

729
00:52:47,000 --> 00:52:48,000
Oh, that was all on that one.

730
00:52:48,000 --> 00:52:49,000
Oh, that was it.

731
00:52:49,000 --> 00:53:01,000
Okay. That's a good article. That's extremely informative because, like I said, being around civil season, I think it's a good time.

732
00:53:01,000 --> 00:53:04,000
Yeah. Yep.

733
00:53:04,000 --> 00:53:08,000
All right. Cool.

734
00:53:08,000 --> 00:53:15,000
Google AI has failed on several occasions and people are getting frustrated with it.

735
00:53:15,000 --> 00:53:17,000
And I'll give you some examples.

736
00:53:17,000 --> 00:53:24,000
It's an odd situation since Google has been testing AI overuse for over a year now.

737
00:53:24,000 --> 00:53:32,000
The feature launched in beta in May of 2023 as a search generative experiment.

738
00:53:32,000 --> 00:53:40,000
And CEO Sundae Pachi had said that the company served over a billion queries in that time.

739
00:53:40,000 --> 00:53:50,000
But Pachi has also said that Google's brought the cost of delivering AI answers down by 80 percent over that same time.

740
00:53:50,000 --> 00:54:01,000
Driven by hardware, engineering, and technical breakthroughs, it appears that kind of optimization might have happened too early because the tech was ready.

741
00:54:01,000 --> 00:54:11,000
A company once known for being at the cutting edge and shipping high quality stuff is now known for low quality output that's getting memed.

742
00:54:11,000 --> 00:54:25,000
One AI founder, which wished to remain anonymous, told The Verge, Google continues to say that its AI overview product largely outputs high quality information to users.

743
00:54:25,000 --> 00:54:31,000
Many of the examples we're seeing and have been uncommon queries.

744
00:54:31,000 --> 00:54:39,000
And we've also seen examples of that were doctored or that we couldn't reproduce.

745
00:54:39,000 --> 00:54:44,000
Google spokesperson Megan Fansworth said an email to The Verge.

746
00:54:44,000 --> 00:54:52,000
Fansworth also confirmed that the company has taken swift action to remove AI overviews on certain queries.

747
00:54:52,000 --> 00:55:00,000
Were appropriate under our content policies and using these examples to develop broader improvements to our systems.

748
00:55:00,000 --> 00:55:06,000
Some of which have already been started to roll out is what she claims.

749
00:55:06,000 --> 00:55:12,000
So basically she's saying that all this stuff is better now, but who knows.

750
00:55:12,000 --> 00:55:25,000
Social media is a buzz with examples of Google's new AI overview product saying weird stuff from telling users to put glue on their pizza to suggesting that they eat rocks.

751
00:55:25,000 --> 00:55:44,000
This messy rollout means Google is racing to manually disable AI overviews for specific searches and various memes got posted, which is why users are seeing so many of these disappear shortly after posted to social networks.

752
00:55:44,000 --> 00:55:49,000
So anyhow, I've seen some other really bad examples of that too.

753
00:55:49,000 --> 00:55:55,000
Besides putting glue on your pizza and eating rocks and stuff like that.

754
00:55:55,000 --> 00:56:01,000
One one AI instructed someone to piss on himself.

755
00:56:01,000 --> 00:56:05,000
And it would help him with his arthritis, I think, or something like that.

756
00:56:05,000 --> 00:56:07,000
Another one told him to hit.

757
00:56:07,000 --> 00:56:09,000
We tell people that.

758
00:56:09,000 --> 00:56:11,000
I know. I mean, we'll need AI for that.

759
00:56:11,000 --> 00:56:17,000
Another one told a guy to gouge his eyes out and he would be able to hear better.

760
00:56:17,000 --> 00:56:21,000
So yeah, there's all these examples.

761
00:56:21,000 --> 00:56:27,000
You can go to Reddit and I think all you have to type in is Google AI fails.

762
00:56:27,000 --> 00:56:31,000
And there's like a list of thousands of them on there.

763
00:56:31,000 --> 00:56:38,000
And they do say if you lose the sense, then your other senses get stronger.

764
00:56:38,000 --> 00:56:41,000
Maybe that's what it meant.

765
00:56:41,000 --> 00:56:46,000
Maybe maybe the AI was right on that example.

766
00:56:46,000 --> 00:56:50,000
Hey, you know what?

767
00:56:50,000 --> 00:56:54,000
No one's saying anything about whether, you know, about being blind or nothing.

768
00:56:54,000 --> 00:56:56,000
There's just talking about being able to hear better.

769
00:56:56,000 --> 00:56:58,000
So there you go. Right. Yeah.

770
00:56:58,000 --> 00:57:03,000
The AI chat bot was right. So there, let's back off of them.

771
00:57:03,000 --> 00:57:09,000
So anyhow, Rob, we turn to you for another story, please.

772
00:57:09,000 --> 00:57:12,000
OK, I got you a little American songwriter, buddy.

773
00:57:12,000 --> 00:57:14,000
Oh, you love me, Rob. You love me.

774
00:57:14,000 --> 00:57:18,000
Yes, I do. All right.

775
00:57:18,000 --> 00:57:23,000
This is four of the most underrated classic rock singers of all time.

776
00:57:23,000 --> 00:57:25,000
Oh, OK.

777
00:57:25,000 --> 00:57:28,000
It's just four of them.

778
00:57:28,000 --> 00:57:31,000
And they're not in any certain order.

779
00:57:31,000 --> 00:57:36,000
Because as a first part, I'm going to skip the little reading thing above.

780
00:57:36,000 --> 00:57:45,000
But it does say that they tried to fit every underrated classic rock singer for which would go on forever.

781
00:57:45,000 --> 00:57:48,000
So they just broke it down into four.

782
00:57:48,000 --> 00:57:51,000
OK.

783
00:57:51,000 --> 00:57:54,000
The first one, Burton Cummings.

784
00:57:54,000 --> 00:57:59,000
Burton Cummings is one of the greatest rock singers to come out of the great white north.

785
00:57:59,000 --> 00:58:08,000
This Canadian singer is best known for leading the Guess Who during the late 1960s and early 70s.

786
00:58:08,000 --> 00:58:12,000
His solo career has also been quite successful.

787
00:58:12,000 --> 00:58:21,000
How ever he often gets overlooked for his incredible contributions to classic rock.

788
00:58:21,000 --> 00:58:25,000
Cool.

789
00:58:25,000 --> 00:58:31,000
OK, the second one, Steve Marion.

790
00:58:31,000 --> 00:58:38,000
The late great Steve Marion is known for his killer voice and guitar playing skills.

791
00:58:38,000 --> 00:58:43,000
He was part of the band's Small Faces and Humble Pie.

792
00:58:43,000 --> 00:58:51,000
And his career was honored via induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame back in 2012.

793
00:58:51,000 --> 00:58:55,000
But only as a member of Small Faces.

794
00:58:55,000 --> 00:58:58,000
Oh, I remember that.

795
00:58:58,000 --> 00:59:03,000
I remember that. Go ahead. I'm sorry.

796
00:59:03,000 --> 00:59:14,000
We think he deserves more credit for his voice and influence over rock stars who rose and fell since his untimely passing in 1991.

797
00:59:14,000 --> 00:59:22,000
Even Ozzy Osbourne said that Marriott was one of the greatest singers of all time.

798
00:59:22,000 --> 00:59:25,000
I can believe that. I can believe that.

799
00:59:25,000 --> 00:59:36,000
You know, Ozzy and all of Sabbath's, I don't know about Dio, but all of Sabbath's idols were actually like the Beatles.

800
00:59:36,000 --> 00:59:39,000
They grew up, you know, listening to Beatles and stuff like that.

801
00:59:39,000 --> 00:59:44,000
So I could definitely see how Ozzy would think that he was one of the best singers ever.

802
00:59:44,000 --> 00:59:47,000
Yeah.

803
00:59:47,000 --> 00:59:51,000
OK, third?

804
00:59:51,000 --> 00:59:53,000
Klaus Mein.

805
00:59:53,000 --> 00:59:55,000
Really, the Scorpions?

806
00:59:55,000 --> 00:59:58,000
Yes. Yes.

807
00:59:58,000 --> 01:00:01,000
I figured that'd be a shocker for you.

808
01:00:01,000 --> 01:00:07,000
He does have a great voice, but I didn't think that they would register him that high.

809
01:00:07,000 --> 01:00:10,000
OK, all right. Go ahead, Rob.

810
01:00:10,000 --> 01:00:20,000
Some would say that the German rocker is less of a classic rock musician and more of a hard rock metal vocalist.

811
01:00:20,000 --> 01:00:25,000
We'd agree, but he's still worthy of a place on this list.

812
01:00:25,000 --> 01:00:31,000
Klaus is best known as the singer and lyricist of Scorpions.

813
01:00:31,000 --> 01:00:41,000
He's appeared on every one of the band's albums and he's always on the list of the best rock vocalists of all times.

814
01:00:41,000 --> 01:00:51,000
That being said, we think he deserves more credit for making Scorpions as big as they were and for his unique voice.

815
01:00:51,000 --> 01:00:55,000
Hmm.

816
01:00:55,000 --> 01:00:57,000
I thought that one was interesting.

817
01:00:57,000 --> 01:01:05,000
I did too. I just didn't think that this outfit would think like that.

818
01:01:05,000 --> 01:01:13,000
You hardly ever hear anyone of that hard rock genre being on the best of any singer.

819
01:01:13,000 --> 01:01:17,000
But very cool. I mean, he's a great singer, so yeah.

820
01:01:17,000 --> 01:01:22,000
Well, in my opinion, he does have a one-of-a-kind voice, in my opinion.

821
01:01:22,000 --> 01:01:26,000
Well, you can hear him sing anything and you'll know it's him. Very distinct.

822
01:01:26,000 --> 01:01:27,000
Yeah.

823
01:01:27,000 --> 01:01:28,000
Yeah.

824
01:01:28,000 --> 01:01:30,000
Okay. I have no problems with that.

825
01:01:30,000 --> 01:01:32,000
Okay.

826
01:01:32,000 --> 01:01:36,000
Okay, and finally, Eric Burden.

827
01:01:36,000 --> 01:01:42,000
Eric Burden is best known as the vocalist of the classic rock band, The Animals.

828
01:01:42,000 --> 01:01:44,000
Oh, okay.

829
01:01:44,000 --> 01:01:48,000
As well as the funk outfit wore.

830
01:01:48,000 --> 01:01:56,000
He was a cornerstone figure during the British invasion and is widely considered one of the era's most unique voices.

831
01:01:56,000 --> 01:02:01,000
It's crazy that not many people know his name.

832
01:02:01,000 --> 01:02:05,000
He's definitely an underrated classic rock singer.

833
01:02:05,000 --> 01:02:08,000
Okay.

834
01:02:08,000 --> 01:02:13,000
I have no problems with that either, you?

835
01:02:13,000 --> 01:02:17,000
No, I don't either. I think this is a pretty solid list here.

836
01:02:17,000 --> 01:02:21,000
It's very unique. They went ways I didn't think they would.

837
01:02:21,000 --> 01:02:23,000
Yeah, it's unique.

838
01:02:23,000 --> 01:02:26,000
Huh. Okay, very cool. Thank you, Rob.

839
01:02:26,000 --> 01:02:33,000
We're way, way late for our second break, so let's go ahead and take that and we'll be right back. Sound good?

840
01:02:33,000 --> 01:02:34,000
Sounds good.

841
01:02:34,000 --> 01:02:37,000
All right.

842
01:02:37,000 --> 01:02:41,000
Our constant pursuit for a real knee-slapper.

843
01:02:41,000 --> 01:02:45,000
It's strange insults from an alien. Real hilarity.

844
01:02:45,000 --> 01:02:55,000
I'm not saying you're stupid. I'm saying when it comes to thinking, you have bad luck.

845
01:02:55,000 --> 01:02:58,000
All aware of the Amber Alert, right?

846
01:02:58,000 --> 01:03:01,000
Well, get rid of your disinfectants and rubber bedspreads, kids.

847
01:03:01,000 --> 01:03:04,000
It's the all-new Amber Heard Alert system.

848
01:03:04,000 --> 01:03:10,000
This fantastic early warning device helps one stay dry and rid of all those annoying mattress invoices.

849
01:03:10,000 --> 01:03:15,000
Simply hook up to child under six or psychopath and wait for the running water sound.

850
01:03:15,000 --> 01:03:18,000
This clever machine has three distinct settings.

851
01:03:18,000 --> 01:03:22,000
Babbling brook, ocean waves, and roaring river for those close calls.

852
01:03:22,000 --> 01:03:31,000
Order today and get a free Cinnabon Renuze It Cartridge.

853
01:03:31,000 --> 01:03:36,000
Introducing Rob Radd's new book, How to Track Your Enemy by Seth.

854
01:03:36,000 --> 01:03:39,000
That's right, smell your enemy before they get you.

855
01:03:39,000 --> 01:03:44,000
Order this gem now and get a free virtual tour of Rob's secret bunker in Camdenton, Missouri.

856
01:03:44,000 --> 01:03:52,000
Also receive a free copy of his new book, How to Clean Raw Sewage for Food.

857
01:03:52,000 --> 01:03:55,000
Now it's time for pick-up lines from a loser.

858
01:03:55,000 --> 01:04:01,000
If you were a fruit, you would be a fine apple.

859
01:04:01,000 --> 01:04:07,000
Now, from the makers of the Who-Mit-My-Asshole Board Game comes the Rob Radd Jigsaw Fuzzle.

860
01:04:07,000 --> 01:04:10,000
That's right, put Rob back together.

861
01:04:10,000 --> 01:04:17,000
This brilliant glossy photo of Rob wearing a loin cloth in a rain forest is the perfect stocking stuffer.

862
01:04:17,000 --> 01:04:20,000
Order now and get a free Buck Blood Keychain.

863
01:04:20,000 --> 01:04:22,000
You need protection from fucktards.

864
01:04:22,000 --> 01:04:25,000
You know how people come in and fuck with you constantly?

865
01:04:25,000 --> 01:04:28,000
You need answers, you need solutions.

866
01:04:28,000 --> 01:04:30,000
Smack in the nuts!

867
01:04:30,000 --> 01:04:33,000
That's right, smack in the nuts is what you need.

868
01:04:33,000 --> 01:04:37,000
Smack in the nuts, get rid of said losers in no time flat.

869
01:04:37,000 --> 01:04:39,000
Smack in the nuts!

870
01:04:39,000 --> 01:04:42,000
Available everywhere wherever you buy self-defense items.

871
01:04:42,000 --> 01:04:46,000
Here are just a few testimonials from some satisfied customers.

872
01:04:46,000 --> 01:04:48,000
Stupid fucksack come to me.

873
01:04:48,000 --> 01:04:50,000
He talk stupid.

874
01:04:50,000 --> 01:04:52,000
He no let me go.

875
01:04:52,000 --> 01:04:54,000
Smell like sack of shit.

876
01:04:54,000 --> 01:04:55,000
He spit talk all over.

877
01:04:55,000 --> 01:04:57,000
I remember smackin' balls.

878
01:04:57,000 --> 01:04:59,000
I use shit sack.

879
01:04:59,000 --> 01:05:00,000
Shit sack lie on ground.

880
01:05:00,000 --> 01:05:01,000
I walk off.

881
01:05:01,000 --> 01:05:03,000
Thank you smackin' the balls.

882
01:05:03,000 --> 01:05:06,000
You saved me from smelly smelly spit.

883
01:05:06,000 --> 01:05:10,000
Well I had this stupid son of a bitch come around me.

884
01:05:10,000 --> 01:05:13,000
He would not shut his fuckin' yap or for nothin'.

885
01:05:13,000 --> 01:05:16,000
He gets up on me and he talks all stupid.

886
01:05:16,000 --> 01:05:18,000
And I didn't know what to do.

887
01:05:18,000 --> 01:05:21,000
I could not shake this motherfucker like a booger.

888
01:05:21,000 --> 01:05:23,000
Then I remember smackin' the nuts.

889
01:05:23,000 --> 01:05:25,000
I pulled out old smack in the nuts.

890
01:05:25,000 --> 01:05:29,000
And that motherfucker went down like a sack of fuckin' potatoes.

891
01:05:29,000 --> 01:05:31,000
Thank you smack in the nuts.

892
01:05:31,000 --> 01:05:35,000
You saved me once again from stupid motherfuckers.

893
01:05:35,000 --> 01:05:37,000
Smack in the nuts.

894
01:05:37,000 --> 01:05:39,000
Don't leave home without it.

895
01:05:39,000 --> 01:05:40,000
Oh shit.

896
01:05:40,000 --> 01:05:42,000
What's that over there?

897
01:05:42,000 --> 01:05:43,000
Oh no.

898
01:05:43,000 --> 01:05:45,000
It's the island of horrible jokes.

899
01:05:45,000 --> 01:05:47,000
Ugh.

900
01:05:47,000 --> 01:05:49,000
Ha ha ha.

901
01:05:49,000 --> 01:05:55,000
What do you call a bundle of hay in church?

902
01:05:55,000 --> 01:05:57,000
Christian Bale.

903
01:05:57,000 --> 01:06:00,000
Ha ha ha.

904
01:06:00,000 --> 01:06:01,000
Ha ha ha.

905
01:06:01,000 --> 01:06:14,000
Ha ha ha.

906
01:06:14,000 --> 01:06:18,000
Welcome back to Douche Fags and a Microphone.

907
01:06:18,000 --> 01:06:20,000
I'm Mark.

908
01:06:20,000 --> 01:06:22,000
And I'm Rob.

909
01:06:22,000 --> 01:06:24,000
Um, we got a little article here.

910
01:06:24,000 --> 01:06:26,000
It probably might set.

911
01:06:26,000 --> 01:06:28,000
It might upset some people.

912
01:06:28,000 --> 01:06:30,000
Other people will be like right on.

913
01:06:30,000 --> 01:06:32,000
But like I said before.

914
01:06:32,000 --> 01:06:34,000
Give me something about Trump.

915
01:06:34,000 --> 01:06:36,000
And I'll make fun of it.

916
01:06:36,000 --> 01:06:37,000
Send me in something.

917
01:06:37,000 --> 01:06:39,000
I'll make fun of it.

918
01:06:39,000 --> 01:06:50,000
But, President Joe Biden is known for his blunders and colorful, colorful, uh, turns of, um, you know, to staffers.

919
01:06:50,000 --> 01:06:55,000
And his staffers are like running around backstage.

920
01:06:55,000 --> 01:06:58,000
Um, trying to correct him from what he's saying constantly.

921
01:06:58,000 --> 01:07:08,000
And, uh, one of them, according to this, um, uh, put out a list of some of his biggest blunders that he's done.

922
01:07:08,000 --> 01:07:10,000
What they believe is.

923
01:07:10,000 --> 01:07:12,000
So.

924
01:07:12,000 --> 01:07:13,000
Okay.

925
01:07:13,000 --> 01:07:14,000
So.

926
01:07:14,000 --> 01:07:15,000
What, um.

927
01:07:15,000 --> 01:07:18,000
One was when Biden recalled being Vice President during the pandemic.

928
01:07:18,000 --> 01:07:19,000
Saying.

929
01:07:19,000 --> 01:07:26,000
Barack mean, meaning former, uh, President Barack Obama told him to go to Detroit and help fix it.

930
01:07:26,000 --> 01:07:30,000
But Biden was running for president during the pandemic.

931
01:07:30,000 --> 01:07:34,000
And Obama had been out of the office for three years.

932
01:07:34,000 --> 01:07:36,000
So obviously.

933
01:07:36,000 --> 01:07:38,000
He made that shit up.

934
01:07:38,000 --> 01:07:39,000
Right.

935
01:07:39,000 --> 01:07:41,000
And he couldn't even think.

936
01:07:41,000 --> 01:07:42,000
Oh, wait a minute.

937
01:07:42,000 --> 01:07:44,000
Obama hadn't been in office for that long.

938
01:07:44,000 --> 01:07:47,000
So he just, you know, he came over that shit out of his ass, supposedly.

939
01:07:47,000 --> 01:07:49,000
Okay.

940
01:07:49,000 --> 01:07:53,000
And then the next one was when I was vice president.

941
01:07:53,000 --> 01:07:57,000
Things were kind of bad during the pandemic.

942
01:07:57,000 --> 01:08:01,000
He was never vice president during the pandemic.

943
01:08:01,000 --> 01:08:04,000
He was either, um.

944
01:08:04,000 --> 01:08:06,000
Uh, in Congress.

945
01:08:06,000 --> 01:08:08,000
Or he was president.

946
01:08:08,000 --> 01:08:13,000
The first part of the pandemic, he was in Congress and then later on he became president.

947
01:08:13,000 --> 01:08:15,000
So, um.

948
01:08:15,000 --> 01:08:19,000
So, and then, um, let's see.

949
01:08:19,000 --> 01:08:28,000
Biden spoke about the January, January 6th Capitol riot describing the people who stormed the Capitol as erectionists.

950
01:08:28,000 --> 01:08:35,000
Instead of insurrectionists, erectionists.

951
01:08:35,000 --> 01:08:40,000
Um, anyhow, um, the staffers have a big list.

952
01:08:40,000 --> 01:08:42,000
And they're probably about 40 long.

953
01:08:42,000 --> 01:08:46,000
And this is supposedly from his staffers. If I'm wrong, I'm, you know, I'm sorry.

954
01:08:46,000 --> 01:08:49,000
Someone put a false label on it or whatever.

955
01:08:49,000 --> 01:08:56,000
But I do know that the ones that I just read are true because I looked them up on YouTube and they exist.

956
01:08:56,000 --> 01:09:01,000
But you can like put it in your search Google or Bing or whatever.

957
01:09:01,000 --> 01:09:06,000
And put in staffers list of presidents blunders or something like that.

958
01:09:06,000 --> 01:09:09,000
And you'll get like 30 of the top ones.

959
01:09:09,000 --> 01:09:13,000
But that was just a small little sample size of the stuff.

960
01:09:13,000 --> 01:09:18,000
And like I said, I not picking aside here or nothing like that.

961
01:09:18,000 --> 01:09:25,000
All I'm simply doing is telling you what his staffers supposedly think were his worst blunders.

962
01:09:25,000 --> 01:09:29,000
Because Biden does have a hard time communicating and talking.

963
01:09:29,000 --> 01:09:31,000
Can we all agree with that?

964
01:09:31,000 --> 01:09:33,000
Yes.

965
01:09:33,000 --> 01:09:37,000
Whether you think the guy's doing a fantastic job or hate his guts or don't have an opinion.

966
01:09:37,000 --> 01:09:43,000
I think we can all agree that he is not the best fluid speaker ever or even close.

967
01:09:43,000 --> 01:09:47,000
So anyhow, there you go, Rob. You got something?

968
01:09:47,000 --> 01:09:48,000
Yeah, I do.

969
01:09:48,000 --> 01:09:50,000
OK.

970
01:09:50,000 --> 01:09:53,000
I want to talk about the new Madrid ball.

971
01:09:53,000 --> 01:09:56,000
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

972
01:09:56,000 --> 01:09:58,000
Down in the boot hill.

973
01:09:58,000 --> 01:09:59,000
Runs all the way.

974
01:09:59,000 --> 01:10:02,000
I want to give our friends down there a shout out.

975
01:10:02,000 --> 01:10:08,000
It runs almost parallel with I-44, doesn't it, I think?

976
01:10:08,000 --> 01:10:12,000
Yeah, it runs all over.

977
01:10:12,000 --> 01:10:16,000
Down.

978
01:10:16,000 --> 01:10:18,000
What is that, 55?

979
01:10:18,000 --> 01:10:20,000
Yeah, yep.

980
01:10:20,000 --> 01:10:25,000
55 goes down towards Memphis.

981
01:10:25,000 --> 01:10:27,000
It's more over towards the state line.

982
01:10:27,000 --> 01:10:34,000
It runs down into northern Arkansas where the boot hill goes in.

983
01:10:34,000 --> 01:10:39,000
The new Madrid ball began 2024 rather quietly.

984
01:10:39,000 --> 01:10:47,000
But it's made up for lost time as the month of May has seen 33 quakes already shake southern Missouri,

985
01:10:47,000 --> 01:10:52,000
including the biggest earthquake of the years so far.

986
01:10:52,000 --> 01:11:01,000
The USGS is quite a database of earthquakes that have been built in May in southern Missouri and northern Arkansas.

987
01:11:01,000 --> 01:11:14,000
I queried the records and asked for a map that shows all the new Madrid quakes of all the magnitudes that have been built in May of 2024.

988
01:11:14,000 --> 01:11:22,000
It revealed a grand total of 33 quakes in the month of May.

989
01:11:22,000 --> 01:11:23,000
Wow.

990
01:11:23,000 --> 01:11:35,000
The biggest Missouri quake of May 2024 by far was the shaker that happened in the morning hours of May 16,

991
01:11:35,000 --> 01:11:44,000
registering at 3.8 on the Richter scale and was felt by several hundred people in southern Missouri.

992
01:11:44,000 --> 01:11:49,000
While there's no way at this point to forecast future earthquakes,

993
01:11:49,000 --> 01:12:03,000
it's believed the release of energy along fault lines could actually relieve pressure building up on these pressure points on these earthquake faults.

994
01:12:03,000 --> 01:12:15,000
The USGS does say that the new Madrid is capable of a 7.7 magnitude quake at some point in the future.

995
01:12:15,000 --> 01:12:29,000
The experts say there's a 10% chance the new Madrid ball will have a major quake of above 7.0 magnitude in the next 50 years.

996
01:12:29,000 --> 01:12:35,000
This is a famous earthquake that made the Mississippi run backwards for what, four days?

997
01:12:35,000 --> 01:12:37,000
Yeah, something like that.

998
01:12:37,000 --> 01:12:39,000
Yeah.

999
01:12:39,000 --> 01:12:45,000
What they're saying is all these little quakes you're having is a good thing.

1000
01:12:45,000 --> 01:12:50,000
It's making some of the pressure off keeping us from having the big one.

1001
01:12:50,000 --> 01:13:03,000
And the thing about the new Madrid fault line is this, Memphis would be practically destroyed, St. Louis would be half destroyed, Kansas City would get a lot of damage,

1002
01:13:03,000 --> 01:13:07,000
Springfield would get a lot of damage, Tulsa would get a lot of damage.

1003
01:13:07,000 --> 01:13:15,000
They say that if this happened, there's some major metropolitan areas that would be severely affected by this.

1004
01:13:15,000 --> 01:13:21,000
That is what the deal is with this fault line along with the Mississippi River and all points in between.

1005
01:13:21,000 --> 01:13:34,000
You there, Rob, you there in Camdenton would probably get pretty, what, probably a lot of rubble and cracks and stuff like that from where you're at, right?

1006
01:13:34,000 --> 01:13:40,000
Well, here's the thing. They're a little concerned about the Bagnell Dam.

1007
01:13:40,000 --> 01:13:44,000
Oh, I never even thought about that. That could like just compromise it.

1008
01:13:44,000 --> 01:13:51,000
Yeah. That thing cracks and we lose the whole lake and everything down river gets flooded.

1009
01:13:51,000 --> 01:13:55,000
Oh my God. There's so much water in the Lake of Ozarks.

1010
01:13:55,000 --> 01:13:58,000
There's homes. People live down below there.

1011
01:13:58,000 --> 01:14:05,000
Yeah. And they would, if they wouldn't have any indication that it was happening, probably not when it happens.

1012
01:14:05,000 --> 01:14:10,000
And they'd be instantaneously drowned, all of them. I mean, that, yeah.

1013
01:14:10,000 --> 01:14:16,000
It would turn this place back into a river the way it originally started.

1014
01:14:16,000 --> 01:14:25,000
Yeah, it would. You're right. Wow. Okay. Well, let's hope that they keep having little 2.0s for quite a while.

1015
01:14:25,000 --> 01:14:31,000
And maybe it will take enough pressure off and this won't happen for a long time.

1016
01:14:31,000 --> 01:14:35,000
But of course it will probably eventually happen, right?

1017
01:14:35,000 --> 01:14:45,000
Well, yeah, eventually. But yeah, I'm just throwing that out there for our friends down in that area, our listeners.

1018
01:14:45,000 --> 01:14:50,000
Yeah. I want you to know we think about you. You know?

1019
01:14:50,000 --> 01:14:56,000
Yep. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah. The whole thing is this right here.

1020
01:14:56,000 --> 01:15:03,000
There's nothing you're going to do about it, so don't worry. If it happens, you probably won't even know it happened.

1021
01:15:03,000 --> 01:15:08,000
Yeah. Get what I'm saying? There you go. Okay.

1022
01:15:08,000 --> 01:15:14,000
All righty. Everybody, thank you for joining us. Hi, Opal. Hi, Jimmy. Hi, Ricky.

1023
01:15:14,000 --> 01:15:21,000
Hi, Grandma. Hi, Jimmy. Hi, Ricky. Dodge City, Kansas. Ra-ra-ra. Love you guys. Have a good night.

1024
01:15:21,000 --> 01:15:25,000
Everybody, assholes, thank you for listening. Bye.

1025
01:15:25,000 --> 01:15:33,000
Bye, assholes.