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Two Deucebags and a Microphone. I'm Mark.
And I'm Rob. Thanks for joining us everybody. So Rob, you had a pretty good day it sounds like.
Yeah, yeah I had a real good day. My daughter and her aunt came over and we took some burgers and brought all the stuff on the grill.
Cool. Yeah, Shannon was here and had a good time.
Alright. And well your ex didn't show up so I was hoping you'd give us a story about Ass and Upper Burger but I guess not.
No, no. No Ass and Upper Hamburger huh?
No. Okay, alright.
Should I just shut up about that?
Yeah.
Okay. Right off the bat I'm fucking up. Alright well just stay tuned.
Alright well, okay right off the bat we have another edition of Rubes Partying with Their Money Department.
This what volume 30, 40 something like that Rob?
Something like that.
Something like that. Okay.
Well here's the latest one. A brewery in suburban Chicago is now offering Cicada cocktails and Cicada shots.
Neon Whistle, no not Neon, Noon Whistle Brewery in Lombard made a social media statement that read,
We're thrilled to introduce the new Cicada infused Marlott or Mallort, Mallort not Marlott.
Mallort, I can't read. Okay, anyhow Mallort, lobster like flavor sensation believe it or not.
The 17 year old virgin Cicadas brings a flavor of succulent lobster.
This masterpiece only comes along every 17 years so get up here.
Want more flavor? Bring your own Cicada husk to infuse your drink with more flavor.
So not only do they have a Cicada shot and a Cicada drink, they encourage you to bring Cicada husk with you to enhance your drink.
I'm thinking no. You?
Yeah I'm going hard no on that one.
But anyhow, they are the ugliest little bastards too. They look albino.
They got little red eyes and they're like little creepy looking little things.
So anyhow, not for me if you want Cicadas in your stuff then go right on ahead.
Okay Cicadas are packed with protein and are totally safe to eat unless you are allergic to shellfish.
Isn't that weird that because they have a shell they have the same shellfish allergies? Isn't that odd?
Yeah, yeah it is.
Yeah so anyhow, take advantage of nature's phenomenon.
Cicadas shots are the rage in other bars so go ahead don't buy away.
I have a brand new Cicada flavored Koi Pond water shot if anyone's interested.
What do you think Rob?
Hey that sounds better.
Yeah, hell yeah. You might as well go all the way and just get the Koi Pond shot with the Cicada kicker.
Yeah so I mean we might as well get a little dough off of this too right?
Alright.
Okay well anyhow, so supplies are limited on those two because my Koi Pond has a huge hole in it.
So I'm not kidding you, the supplies are limited because I'm going to tear that bitch down and fill it in.
I'm tired of screwing with it.
So there's only going to be a few shots left.
So I suggest if you're into throwing your money at something, come on down.
I got your Koi shot for you.
Okay, anyhow, so if you're rude like that and you got, while you're running out doing your Cicada craze,
make sure and pick up a Peeps flavored Pepsi before the special flavor ends.
That almost sounds worse than cicadas to me. What about you?
Yeah, yeah.
Peeps flavored Pepsi?
Cicadas just sound pretty good at that point.
Yeah, I think I would go for cicadas over that any day.
Ugh.
Ah, not, yep.
Okay, well if, well there you go, if anyone likes Peeps flavored Pepsi, better hurry up.
I think it's got like a week left on the run.
In another waste of time, an Indiana judge was declared that tacos and burritos are Mexican style sandwiches.
The court battle began when the permit was contested and should have been categorized differently
and that their owner called his business a sandwich shop.
So this whole steaming pile of nothing went to court.
And Martin Quintana owned the restaurant and he was ruled that he could be open in that location as a sandwich shop.
You know, so apparently the neighborhood would, they would allow a sandwich shop, but not what they consider a full blown restaurant.
You know, I'm sorry I wasted five minutes of your life on that garbage, but you know what, you weren't doing anything else anyhow.
You did dial up two douche bags and microphone. Let me remind you, okay.
You didn't waste my time.
Okay, cool. Thank you.
I'm here anyway.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying. You know, I was going into apology for wasting their time with that big nothing burger.
But you know what? They did dial up two douche bags and microphone and decided to listen to it.
So I guess, I guess they're in their wasting time business. So it's probably right up the alley.
So that just saying, love you guys.
I think the sandwich, I think the sandwich shop should name its finest sandwich a nothing burger to salute this idiotic lawsuit.
Don't you think?
Yeah, that sounds good to me.
Yeah, so.
I think that'd be a perfect name for it.
Yeah, have a nothing burger. Well, okay. What's this nothing burger?
Well, it salutes this stupid ass lawsuit that I had to shell out a bunch of money on for fucking nothing.
So anyhow, but he did get his burrito and taco place opened up.
All right. Little Debbie has a new line of treats. All of them are red, white and blue.
This is coming out just months, month ahead of Independence Day or right after Memorial Day.
So one can scarf on these highly caloric treats for at least a month.
So I guess the trailer park will all get five times five X tank tops, maybe.
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yep. I think they should give them away with it.
Yeah, I think that I think that it should be like a prerequisite when you buy a couple of these 12ers of little debbies that you do get a five XL tank top with it.
Maybe a keep on trucking one, you think, you know?
Oh, yeah. Yeah, definitely. Yeah, keep on trucking one. Yeah. Perfect.
You don't see any of them anymore?
No, no, you don't. I mean, which is a travesty. Let's face it.
Nothing more like a new trick. You know what? We will.
So you see the prices of those things online?
Probably not, because I'm the only dumbass that looks at.
OK, I'm the only dumbass that looks like it looks at stuff like that.
Those shirts are fucking expensive, dude.
You know, the original one, the guy with his hand out is like coming out almost like Fantastic Four Rex Reed style, which like stretched out there and said, keep on trucking those shirts right there.
Command a lot of money. So someone must be liking them.
So anyhow, OK, these are it is nostalgia is so hard to turn down.
I keep going back to this pinball machine and this old Coca Cola bottle machine and I cannot get my mind off of it.
A guy said he did have a lift.
I think he lived in Shawnee or something.
So I could feasibly get one of these one of these old Vendo machines because they're so heavy that they said the only way you can get them out of wherever you're buying it.
Everyone says bring a lift truck.
So anyhow, that guy said he had a lift truck. I'll have to go through my stuff.
I kept his email and he said that he would help me.
Remember, he said they had a lift truck. Yeah.
So I could go get that and the pinball machine is easy to move.
You know, just get a couple of guys on that and put it in a trailer.
So anyhow, that being that.
OK, here are the little Debbie treats as they released them.
Red, white and blue vanilla cakes or chocolate cakes.
And it consists of yellow or chocolate cake layered with cream and coating and white frosting.
Each cake is topped with red stripes and blue star sprinkles.
Red, white and blue mini muffins.
Lemon.
The only treat in that line that doesn't have any red, white or blue in it, the mini muffins are lemon flavored.
You know, but the package still has red, white and blue.
So that's cool. Red, white and blue nutty buddy.
Peanut butter cream sandwiches between wafer bars coated with white icing topped with red stripes and blue sparkles.
All of these sound damn good, don't they? Yeah, they do.
Red, white and blue donuts.
Mini white cake donuts coated in white frosting and topped with red and blue sugar crystals.
Can't beat that. Can't beat that.
I think they need the the five XL tank tops of keep on trucking for this.
Definitely. So anyhow, red, white and blue brownies.
Brownies with white fudge icing topped with red stripes and blue sprinkles.
And that is the end of those ones.
So anyhow, going on to this.
During this Memorial Day weekend, Americans will consume roughly seven billion hot dogs.
So it seems that inflation has its dirty little paws in the memorial cookouts as well.
A new analysis published by Wallet Hub found that typical Memorial Day cookout this year will cost around thirty dollars.
A 10 percent spike over last year.
Driving the increase are a number of barbecue staples such as ground beef, hot dogs, steak and of course our favorite, beer.
Steaks jumped point three percent in April and is up six point five percent compared to the same time last year.
Ground beef prices also rose point zero point three in April and are six percent more expensive than a year ago.
You know, maybe the government could just print up a couple of extra billion to cover that food cost for the holiday.
You know, I mean, what's a couple of. Yeah.
What's a couple of billion mean to your triple in trillions anyhow?
Let's just ride this thing out with aerial bombs, firecrackers and booze. Right.
Yeah. All right.
And finally, all right, a 10 foot wide skinny house in Florida selling for six hundred nineteen thousand skinny homes are all the rage of you.
Do you know what I'm talking about? A skinny home. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. They're really I hate them.
I think they look horrible and I don't know why anyone would want to live in something 10 foot wide.
A skinny home in Toronto is selling for over a million.
You know, I have an idea. Just grab a band saw and skinny your home to big bucks.
This just in a new line of narrow products have just been released.
The narrow bank account, the narrow beer can and the narrow common sense are always on the table.
Once again, Rubes throwing money at gimmicked up stupidity.
I have a narrow kick in the ass for the highest bidder.
So come on down, you can get your narrow kick in the ass if you have the right price.
Come and get it before they're sold out.
So anyhow, that is all I got for this here monologue.
So Rob, we turn to you once again to make we have a new attraction coming to Lake of the Ozarks.
Actually, I think I've done a report on it before. You did, but it didn't say I had one problem with it.
But this this solves that problem.
A new entertainment district project at Lake of the Ozarks is officially underway.
On Thursday afternoon, developers broke ground on the Oasis at Lakeport Development,
a $400 million family resort and entertainment district to be located in Osage Beach Reserve.
It will stand alongside the Lakeport property at US Highway 54 and just Jefferies Road adjacent to the Grand Place Bridge.
If anybody knows the area, that is the northwest corner when you're at the Grand Place Bridge.
Doesn't that surprise you that it was going to be put right there?
Yeah, it's literally going to be right up the street from Dog Days, a bunch of the bars.
It's right out the highway. I mean, it's going to you're going to see it when you're going down.
Yeah.
Brinkman is thrilled to be part of the Oasis at Lake 14 and dedicated to continuing to build Missouri, said Bob Brinkman,
founder of Brinkman Constructors, the general contractor on the project.
We were built on relationships between our strong partnerships on this project
to ensure success and contribution to the growth of Missouri.
Construction plans for the project include a year-round entertainment destination with 25 acres of amusement rides and attractions,
a 402-room Marriott Resort and conference center property with 30,000 square foot conference center, indoor waterpark, restaurants,
200 public boat slips and 1,000 space parking garage.
Wow.
Okay, right there, looking at all the drawings and everything I've seen, the one thing I could not figure out was the parking.
Yes.
Well, they're making 1,000 space parking garage.
There you go. That makes sense.
Now, here is the problem that the locals are going to have.
Okay.
All the traffic.
Yes, it's already during the summertime, it's crazy congested at Bagnell Dam, right, and Sunrise Beach, that whole area.
Oh, yeah, you're going to have to turn down Jefferies Road to get down to Dog Days or any condos down there.
Yes, yeah, that's going to be insane. I mean, it's going to literally be...
It's going to be like getting into Worlds of Fun.
Yeah, they're going to have to come up with a different traffic route or maybe build...
Here's what I was thinking, and you correct me, you know the area better than I do, Rob.
Okay, you know how Branson was getting so congested on 76 Highway, the main drag, they had to build these loops like 276, yeah, 476.
They're like interstates, but they're not interstates.
Yeah, do you think something like that might help that area?
I don't know if you can do it.
That's the thing, there's so much lake around there, I don't know if you can actually build one successfully.
Yeah, the way there's lake, it wraps around, and then you're cutting through people's houses.
Yes, and that's what I'm wondering right there, Rob.
It'd be hard to do.
They're going to start buying...
That's why they made business 54 Highway.
Yes.
It's a bypass, it goes all the way through now.
Yeah.
To get into Ostech Beach, you have to take an exit ramp and actually get on 454.
Yeah, I saw that the last time I was going through there.
...Ostech Beach Parkway.
Okay, yeah, I thought that was interesting that they did that.
They left the old one for the bypass, and then the new one has all the exits and the businesses on them.
So, this is going to be pretty interesting because I would like to see how they're going to avoid during the summertime, the peak time, which is coming up here.
You know, all the kids are out of school, and this is where people start taking a couple of weeks off, and they go to the lake in that area right there.
It's a busy season, right?
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah, the next weekend starts what they call the season.
Okay.
A moral day to a labor day is what we call a season.
Okay.
Well, yeah, I don't know.
It's going to be interesting.
I think that they're just trying to cram too much in one area, and I don't know how it's going to work.
But you know what?
I'm not the one showing out the money, and you know what?
I'm sure they'll figure it out.
There's a lot of money at play, right?
Right.
A lot of money.
$450.
Yeah.
Yep.
So, okay.
All right, Rob, thank you for that.
Thanks for the complete rundown, because I did read some of it, but I didn't get a detailed description like you just did, so thank you.
All right.
You're welcome.
All right.
Let's do our first break, and we'll come right back.
Does that sound good?
Sounds good.
All right.
We'll be right back, suckers, in a minute.
Ground ivy is a persistent ground cover that often escapes death by lawn mowers due to its low profile.
It spreads by setting out roots from its nodes and can colonize an area quickly.
Ground ivy is in the mint family, so it has square stems which help identify it.
Although it's a mint, it's probably not something you would chew on for that refreshing, tingly taste that other mints impart.
Use young shoots and leaves and salads are cooked, but be sure to taste before adding too much since it has a strong flavor that may not go over well in a large quantity.
Next up, things overheard in hell.
Hell is the main course forever.
I asked my date to meet me at the gym.
She didn't show up.
I guess we're not going to work out.
Now it's time for pick up lines from a loser.
Are you a parking ticket?
You got five written all over you.
And now, deep thoughts with Mark.
Is every mirror in a store technically used?
I may never know.
This is Chicago.
I am the most dangerous city in North America.
You can't touch me.
Oh, yeah.
This is Kansas City here.
Hold my beer, bitch.
Your mama's so fat, she went out in high heels and struck oil.
Break.
Shit.
Please enjoy brick.
Shit.
House energy drink responsibly is not readily available anywhere because liability issues.
And I'm Rob.
Rob, you want to play another game?
I'm all set for playing games.
All righty.
This one is, guess why certain things are the way they are.
Does that sound good?
It is.
I found it interesting.
I hope everyone that's listening does.
But we'll see here.
OK.
Number one question.
And these are questions that people like wrote into this magazine.
It was called like Online Info or Info Tech Highway or something like that.
I forgot what it was.
But people write in their questions that they've always wondered about, but they didn't know
the answer to.
And this place researched it and came up with the answer they think is the correct one.
OK.
So my first one is why are movie theaters, the seats, why are they red?
I don't know.
And if you think about it, think about going into a movie theater.
All the seats are red.
They got that red velvet kind of crushed velvet look on them.
Remember?
I would have to say because the darkness and the lighting may be easier to see.
You're pretty close.
I don't know.
OK.
Because when the light's dim, red becomes more invisible than any other color.
So you were pretty close there, Rob.
That was a good guess.
So other seats, whenever the lights are off, they stand out in their distraction.
What they found out is red seats blend in with the dark.
And so it's real easy to sit in there because you don't see a bunch of seats like you would
if they're a different color, right?
Right.
So OK.
That is the answer they gave to that one.
I thought it was a pretty good answer, but it's kind of boring.
You thought there would be something psychological to it?
No.
The whole answer is just red seats blend in easier in the dark and they're less distracting.
All right, and then this one got me because I do remember this period in time.
Why did 90s kids shows have forced messages?
Remember how they used to put in messages almost blatantly?
Yeah.
You're right.
Yeah.
So why do you think that is?
I don't know.
This is interesting, but then I remember a little bit of what they're talking about.
The Children's Television Act of 1990 ordered the FCC to regulate that programming be educational
and informational in the United States.
So therefore, a lot of these programs, the only way they could make it educational and
informational is to just add these forced messages into the program almost just blatantly,
almost to where they might as well go, hey, this is the show.
And, you know, the government is making us be informational and giving you a message.
So here it is.
I mean, it's everything but that on a lot of shows, right?
All right.
This next one I really like.
This was the best one out of all of them because it made a lot of sense once I thought about
it.
Why did so many Hannah Barbera characters wear ties and collars?
Think about it.
That's a good question.
It is, isn't it?
All of Hannah Barbera, I do believe, have collars and ties.
I mean, from Yogi Bear to was it Flintstones, Hannah Barbera?
I believe they were.
Yeah?
Yeah.
All of them had collars and ties.
Yeah, I got a bunch of them, dude.
Yeah.
Let me know when you're, you got any guess at all?
No, no, I don't have a clue.
Okay.
Neck ornaments made the characters easier and cheaper to animate, allowing the artist
to draw the head and body separate.
Okay.
That makes sense.
You just put the different heads on the regular just the collar and tie and you just have
them in stock, right?
So it made it, it made the artists work easier per se, right?
It was, it was kind of like if someone wore the same suit in every, like Dick Tracy, remember?
Right.
Dick Tracy wore the same suit, I believe it's for the same reason.
So, and also, you know, he was a detective too, so he probably always kind of dressed
up a little bit.
I think that's the same thing, all they had to do was just, you know, move the face around
or whatever and all of the, a lot of the nemesis had the same style of suit, if you think about
it, in Dick Tracy, right?
Yeah.
So I think that was the reason for that too.
And I think there's more of them, but I, you know, I don't, I, you know, it'd take too
long to figure them out, but I think there's quite a bit more of them that did that too.
So, okay, why did Yukon Cornelius lick his pickaxe in the classic holiday film,
Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer?
I don't know.
Isn't that good?
He does.
He licks the pickaxe.
Yeah, he does.
Now that you, yeah.
Yeah.
Now that you mention it.
Yes.
Now that I mention it.
Before we just kind of like, okay, whatever, you know, he licked his pickaxe.
Here's why, Rob.
Okay.
In a deleted scene, it shows he was mining for peppermint.
So there you go.
Okay.
He was licking peppermint off of his pickaxe.
All right.
Yeah, but they deleted the scene.
So now you just got Yukon Cornelius licking his pickaxe.
Okay.
That's cool.
This next one is very.
I'll answer that one.
This next one's very interesting because even I do this.
Everybody does this.
Think about it when I say it to you.
Why do people talking on the phone pace?
Everybody does.
Yeah.
I do.
Yeah.
Do you?
Yeah.
There's times when we're doing this podcast, I'm up pace.
Nobody will ever know it, you know.
Oh, no.
I can't.
I can't because of my getup here.
I got to be in front of the mic.
Otherwise, I would probably be pacing too because sometimes that's like where I get
my inner energy and stuff like that.
But I get it.
I can't, but I get what you're saying, Rob.
Okay.
Here is.
I guess the nervousness of just sitting.
I don't know.
You're close.
Yeah, that wasn't a bad guess at all, Rob.
Our brains are used to talking face to face.
Mutual physical feedback is lacking when we're on the phone, so our brains translate our
own emotional responses into physical movements.
So, you're pretty close.
Yeah.
Yep.
And finally, I got more of these we're going to do on future episodes, but I don't want
to do too many on one in case, you know.
Okay.
So, the next one is how many ATMs are in Antarctica?
And this is just more of a basic question.
But is there any?
Is there five?
Is there 30?
Is there 2,000?
In Antarctica.
Antarctica.
Yes.
I'm on that state zero.
Two.
You were close.
There's only two.
There's only two ATMs in Antarctica.
And that's fine for the amount of people there.
So, there you go.
Well, I was just trying to figure out what they would need money for.
Well, that's part of it, but I'll bet you there's probably some things that you do need
money for that we have no idea because we used to hear that old gag, you know, they
could sell a refrigerator or they could sell a freezer in the North Pole or whatever.
Yeah.
Okay.
Well, they do have to sell refrigerators because you have to moderate the temperature on stuff.
You know, it can't be below 32.
It's got to be like 40 degrees or something like that to keep drinks and, you know, and
stuff you're getting ready to cook cold.
So, yeah.
So, it could be something like that that we have no idea about because we're not there
facing that type of a situation, right?
Well, plus, you know, if you run short on supplies, you don't have to go somewhere and
find somebody to have some and buy some off of them or whatever.
Yeah.
Okay.
I see it now.
Yeah.
And there would have to be some sort of supply store.
People couldn't live there if they didn't.
Right.
I believe there's some military operations, at least from America and Antarctica anyhow.
So they would have to have something.
Yeah.
So, okay.
Anyhow, that's the end of those questions.
Rob, you got something?
Yeah.
I got two bands that ruined rock music in the 90s.
Okay.
And this is off Society of Rock.
And they actually counted this down from 10 to 1.
I love this.
I love it already, Rob.
Love it already.
Some of them, some of them, I'm a little shocked they're on here.
Okay.
Number 10, Dave Matthews Band.
Dave Matthews Band divides listeners sharply into two camps, those who adore their music
and others who can't quite connect with it.
Cool.
That's true.
Yeah, I agree with that 100%.
They're one of those bands, you like them or you don't?
Yeah.
I was never a fan.
Not really.
I'd listen to a song or two and that was about it.
I found them kind of boring myself.
I don't know.
Yeah.
They just weren't my thing.
But if anyone likes it, okay.
Okay.
Anyhow.
Okay.
Number nine, Ace of Base.
In the early 90s, Ace of Base was the unexpected answer to the public's unspoken wish for a
new pop sensation.
With catchy hits like All That She Wants and The Sign, they quickly climbed the charts.
However, their fame was short-lived in the US.
Okay.
Yeah, they weren't around very long.
I remember.
No, they weren't.
You're right.
Number eight, The Spin Doctors.
Okay.
The Spin Doctors were the epitome of early 90s rock success with their album Pocketful
of Kryptonite and hits like Two Princes.
They were everywhere from Radio Waves to MTV, marking their presence in the rock world.
However, their subsequent releases failed to captivate audiences the same way.
Wow.
Okay.
Yeah, the rest of the albums wasn't as good.
Yeah.
No, I agree with all this so far.
And this is their opinion.
Okay.
Number seven, Bush.
Yeah.
Bush emerged as a vegan through record labels during the grunge era, thanks to their willingness
to lean into the demands of the industry.
With hits like Glycerine, they managed to carve out a space for themselves in the rock
scene.
They were at a full start from 180 by the mid 90s.
Even though they attempted a comeback in 2010, the excitement that once surrounded them had
personally dissipated.
Cool.
Yeah.
I agree.
Number six, Hootie and the Blowfish.
Yep.
Man, they're hitting the stat on.
Hootie and the Blowfish managed to unite listeners during a time of division with their debut
album.
Their music offered a feel good alternative to the grunge that dominated the 90s rock
scene, propelled them into starving.
However, maintaining such extraordinary initial success proved challenging.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
Well, now think about it.
Now they're lead singers in the country, so yeah.
Yeah.
Yep.
Okay.
Number five, Nirvana.
Nirvana's inclusion on this list might surprise many given their critical and commercial success.
With iconic albums and a definitive sound that helped define a generation, their impact
on music was undeniable.
However, their overwhelming success also drew backlash with some believing it overshadowed
their talents of the era.
So there are some people that think they let it go to their head.
They extend it bigger.
Yeah.
I knew it had to have been something like that.
That's why I said I think I see where they're going.
So, okay.
Okay.
This next one I think I'm just going to say the name and then I'm going to move on.
Yeah.
Okay.
All right.
Next.
Number three, Lip Biscuit.
Oh, yeah.
God, yeah.
Lip Biscuit became synonymous with a divisive period of rock music, blending rap and rock
in a way that attracted fervent fans and equally passionate detractors.
The band's front band, Threaddust, expressed regret over how their music was interpreted,
suggesting a disconnect between the artist's intent and the audience's reception.
I think he's just saying that to save face.
They dug their own hole with their own actions and stuff that they did.
I call bullshit on anything Threaddust says.
I call bullshit on that one, too.
Yeah.
I think he's about as full of shit as a diaper, anyhow.
Yep.
Okay.
Number two, Nickelback.
Oh, yeah.
You knew they'd be on here.
Yeah.
Well, now that you said it, I do.
I was trying to think, who are they going to get to top Lip Biscuit?
Well, I think they did.
I think they did.
Yeah.
Nickelback is a significant criticism, often cited as a symbol of rock music's decline.
Yes.
Right?
I'm up on Lip.
Okay.
That's cool.
Here, I'm going to go to Goat Noises.
Oh, did you find it?
Yeah, I'm right.
Despite commercial success, they've become a punching bag in discussions about rock music's
quality and relevance.
Yep.
How many Nickelback jokes are there?
There are people that go, hey, what kind of music you listen to?
Shitty.
What is it?
Nickelback.
Everybody.
They have just been the laughing stock of music for so long.
I mean, now people don't care, but how many years have people always gone Nickelback?
If someone liked them, they made fun of them, right?
Actually, the older I get, the more I get into them.
I think they're better than what I thought they were.
I mean, they're still not near my favorite, but they're tolerable now to me when before
I couldn't stand them.
Yeah, I think they have due to age.
Yeah, and also their music aged very well.
Didn't it?
Okay.
Okay, go ahead.
Yeah, it did.
It did.
They're still playing it on radios everywhere.
Yeah, they are.
So anyhow, even though Canada, the town they're from, took down their sign.
Right.
That sucks.
That really sucks.
Well, if you remember right, Nickelback, the very last rock band that had a number one
hit, and it was how many years ago?
Oh shit, early 2000s at least.
Yeah, I never did that.
Or did you just hear about that?
That might have been 2003 maybe.
Talk like that.
It was a long time ago.
How you remind me, I believe, was some.
Yeah, yep, you're right.
Let me see when that song was released and go ahead with yours.
Okay, well, for number one, Creed.
Another good one.
Creed got this poll as the most disliked band of the 90s, facing harsh criticism from both
bands and critics.
Their music, while successful, became a focal point for discussions about authenticity and
quality of rock music.
A famously poor performance, but it damaged their reputation, serving as a harsh reminder
of the high stakes and fleeting nature in the music industry.
Okay, July 17, 2001, How You Remind Me was released.
It hit number one in February of 2002.
So it's been, since February of 2002, has been a number one rock song on the charts.
Anyhow, go ahead, Rob.
Okay, yeah, that was it.
Oh, okay.
All right.
Thank you.
That was a great.
You took the top.
That was excellent, man.
Thank you, Rob.
Appreciate that.
You're welcome.
All righty.
It's time for a second break and we'll be right back.
Sounds good.
Two dish bags and microphone in an effort to keep everything fresh.
We offer you first world problems.
That's a hell of a bridge construction.
Shit, I cannot believe I have to repair this bridge after 50 years.
Man, what am I going to do now?
I can't like get 10 minutes earlier just to get to work.
This is complete bullshit.
I'm going to write my congressman.
As much fun as an electric can opener to the scrotum.
Two dish bags and a microphone.
Jim X.
What the hell happened?
You were the generation of change.
You never wanted to be one of them.
At the feet.
Spoke for you.
Hunk the man.
Hunk the system.
What the hell happened?
The generation of angst.
The generation of noncompliance.
Is now buying a boat.
You're really fed up to kill someone dangled a dollar near you.
Great job, Xers.
Everything's ruined.
Next up, things overheard in hell.
Hurry up.
Kim Jong Un is playing Santa at the mall again this year.
Whoa.
Now we go to the amazing Mark the palm reader.
Hello everybody and welcome to Mark the amazing palm reader.
First in line, please step up.
Let's see young lady.
I see a long lifeline.
I see success, happiness, love, fortune.
I also see a bit index finger.
$20, please.
Oh shit.
What's this?
It's island horrible jokes.
I put a wooden shoe in my toilet.
I guess it was clogged.
Hello.
This is Satan.
You might know me from my pet name, inflation.
I'm here to tell you that there's no better way to relax than
listening to two douche bags and microphone by a nice warm fire at night.
I sit there and I reflect on all the souls I burned that day.
Enjoy.
I'm Mark.
And I'm Al.
Okay.
We've been following this for a while, Rob.
The Ticketmaster Live Nation fiasco going on.
You know, groups have gotten together and went against them and people are pissed off.
So I got a little update on that.
The U.S. government filed a sweeping antitrust lawsuit Thursday night against Live Nation Entertainment,
the parent company of Ticketmaster, seeking to break up the conglomerate over allegations that it has amassed and abused unrivaled power in the ticketing and concert information.
Okay, now, number one, they should have never been allowed to join because of monopoly laws, right?
Right. Right.
Yeah, this was during the Obama administration and I still cannot find out any reason why they would have let this go through.
We knew it was a bad idea.
Anybody that bought tickets or knew anything about anything knew that it was a horrible idea to let these two idiots come together
because they're already screwing us over, in my opinion, on all the tickets already.
And then you put them both together and nobody can touch them.
So I'm glad they're going to be breaking them up.
It's kind of like Ma Bell and AT&T.
Remember the big breakup with them, I think it was during the Reagan administration?
And that's because they felt they were doing the same thing.
So that allows other competition to come in because you're a smaller company, you can't trounce the smaller companies when they're trying to gain steam.
So anyhow, the landmark case, joined by 30 state and district attorney generals, could dramatically reshape an ecosystem that has long sparked outrage from artists and fans alike,
whose frustrations erupted in 2022 when the high fees and the side outages disrupted early sales for Taylor Swift's Eras Tour.
I remember that too. People were fucking fuming over that. Remember that?
Yep. Yep.
Live Nation is an entertainment titan.
It is a concert promoter, artist manager, venue owner and ticket seller and reseller.
Constituting a sprawling empire that is executives publicly, Harold as the largest live entertainment company in the world.
Last year alone, Live Nation produced more than 50,000 concerts and other musical events and has sold more than 620 million tickets globally.
The company boasted to its investors in April.
And that's good that they boasted that to their investors because all of that can be used against them with all the district attorneys that are going against them.
So I think that this breakup is going to happen and I think it's much warranted. What do you think, Rob?
Rob, you there?
Rob, did you hit the mute button?
Sorry. Sorry. Yeah, I was on mute.
Okay, Rob, what do you think?
I want to say you're drinking after that, but I'm muted.
Okay, that's good.
No, I like the utility companies. The utility companies can't join together to run everybody else out of business. I mean, there's sanctions against them.
Yeah. Yep.
So I think there should be in this case too. That's my opinion.
I would agree. Yeah.
Well, I'm glad this is happening because I think we paid enormously high ticket fees for a long time now.
And I think it's about time that you put the regular man back in the seat instead.
I mean, it's already bad enough that most sporting events you can't attend anymore because the regular man can't afford it anymore.
Really? I mean, yeah, I love the Chiefs, but good luck getting to a game.
I mean, outside parking being 50 bucks and then everything else.
I mean, God forbid you want to order a drink while you're there or something.
But then again, the tickets themselves are up in the thousands of dollars, even nosebleeds like the rematch last year,
the rematch between the then Super Bowl between the Philadelphia Eagles and Kansas City Chiefs. We had relatives in town and they spent like 1500 on two tickets.
Or no, no, no. Maybe it was 1500 each on two tickets. So 3000 altogether to go see the Eagles versus the Chiefs.
So, yeah, I know. Now, maybe there's not much we can do about sporting events, but this right here, the concerts, I think by breaking these two up,
we would have a legitimate chance of maybe having some lower ticket prices.
But I mean, actually, like the Royals are very affordable, man. They have this new deal. I got it right here, which I found really cool.
It is two tickets and I bought it. It's a voucher code. OK.
And what you do is you buy it from a big box store and it's two tickets to see the Royals in the lower level outfield plaza, which is really good seats.
You know, they're the ones along the line there and they're really good seats or lower level and they're along the line.
A great place to watch the game. Two tickets for 35 bucks. That's not bad.
No, I know. And and the Royals are one game out of first place and they're like, I don't know, 12 or 13 games above 500.
They're really looking good. They've got like a couple of ERA leaders and they have some really good batters besides Salvador Perez, the old trustee.
But anyhow, but that's our baseball team is still a good deal.
Now, I remember after we won the World Series in 2015, that was it was a little tough to get a ticket, fairly cheap.
Remember, it went way up then. So anyhow. So, all righty. All right.
Anyhow, Rob, you got something you want to go to? Yeah, I'm going to go back to our friend, K.H.M.O. AM 1070.
Yeah. Yep. They have another good one for us. OK.
Smells in your home are important and knowing the bad ones could save your life.
For example, if your Missouri home suddenly smells like cucumbers, you need to get out of it right now.
A Missouri homeowner has a Missouri homeowner. Unfortunately, never had to leave through this scenario, but it's a possibility for all of us.
You likely understand that if you smell like eggs, you need to call the gas number as you may have a pangor asleep.
The FW brought up a different kind of smell that also might be a sign that you and your family are in danger.
It's just the smell of cucumbers.
If you have fresh vegetables including cucumbers, that's not what I'm talking about.
This is a sudden with that what smells like cucumbers letters. No.
And what it cut out.
Hello, Rob.
It's cutting out really bad. I hear some background noise.
You there.
All right, goat noises until he comes back.
OK, well, I'm just going to go ahead with a couple of articles and hopefully comes back. If you hear this.
Oh, there he is.
Hello.
Hello. OK.
My phone's flipping out on me, man.
Oh, yeah.
Electronics. Yeah.
Anyhow, let's see where we're.
Anyhow, go ahead.
I got a full story about.
OK.
If the set of cucumbers is suddenly prevalent in your Missouri home, you likely have the presence of either combay nets or rattlesnakes, the total reptile.
These are two of Missouri's most venomous snakes and that's not to mean that not only are they in or under your home.
I'm high alert.
Can you describe that smell a little bit better?
Smells like cucumbers. Oh, and that would be a copperhead.
A copperhead smells like cucumbers, I believe. Right.
Yeah.
We had a little rattlesnake is what they're saying. Oh, a rattlesnake, too. OK.
All right. Yeah.
You suddenly smell it.
OK. No, they also say like we had a sheep in Arkansas that died suddenly overnight. And there's this old Native American guy down the road.
And he could tell you about anything. And he said that he said, I smell cucumbers.
It must have been he said he said is a copperhead.
He said the copperhead smell like cucumbers. I didn't know that rattlesnakes did, too.
But that's good to know because both of them are highly venomous. Either way, I'd be wiped out.
Yeah. Either way, I wouldn't want anything to do with either one of them.
So, yep. They can stay where they're at as long as it's not near me.
So, exactly. Yep.
So anyhow, thank you, Rob.
OK. I've got I've got one here a little bit lighter.
We've been waiting for two years, but finally, the world is going to have the opportunity to have the crunch wrap we all deserve.
One with a massive cheese in it.
If that sounds familiar. Yeah.
If that sounds familiar, it's probably because Taco Bell teased us all with this culinary delight back in 2022.
Then Taco Bell did a test run of a big cheese at Tostada and big cheese at Crunchwrap at a store in Irving, California.
As her name implies, both menu items involved massive cheese being used as a replacement for the crunchy tortillas.
Now, that sounds good, doesn't it? Yeah, it does.
Important to note, we're not talking about tortillas with a dusting of cheese powder here.
We're talking about actual super sized cheese.
So what we're talking about is actual cheese in a tortilla shape.
You know, a crunch wrap has its shape.
And then, you know, and then the what was the other one?
Choo choo choo choo choo choo. Let's see.
Crunchwrap, choo choo choo choo.
Oh, let's see.
Shit, I can't find it now. Damn it.
OK, Tostada.
Yeah, we're having one at night.
We really are.
Anyway, after the test run, Taco Bell told us that the cheese at
adorned Tostada and Crunchwrap could possibly potentially show up on nationwide menus.
And then it left us all with just the nacho cheese Doritos Locos taco to satisfy our cheesy urges.
Until now, according to an Instagram post by food influencer, I'm not even going to say his name.
Finally, upon us, according to Devo, a big cheese at Crunchwrap and big cheese at Tostada
will be Devo is an online magazine available via early access for app users from May 20th.
So it's already out to June 5th before becoming available nationwide on June 6th at all Taco Bell locations.
So there you go. You want cheese at Tostada's and cheese at Crunchwrap's June 6th.
You can get it everywhere.
Yep. Until then, you're looking at your app. I think you it didn't say if you get it all in your app right now
or if they're just certain stores. But anyhow, there you go.
You like cheese at's and you like Crunchwrap's and Tostada's. Go get them.
All right, Rob, we turn to you.
All right. I'm Jerry McJeanie star, Barbara Eaton with full smiles as she was pictured with friends this week and joined us.
You ready for this? Yes. The 92 year old. Yes, Barbara Eaton, 92 years old and still looks great.
Oh, yes, she does. I'm looking at a picture of her. She looks fantastic.
Who was? Yeah. Go ahead. I'm sorry.
Who has rarely been pictured in recent years was seen living at Los Angeles restaurant with friends as she wore a bright cherry red blazer and tailored black pants with a small wedge heel.
She accessorized with a bright blue gold choker, matching earrings and the sprock actress was seen walking to her car with black bag clutch under her arm.
Wow. Cool. She's so elegant. It's fantastic. Yes. Yeah.
But the rest of our article goes into everything she's done, but most people know her for I.J. McJeanie.
She has always been one of my favorite. She was always just so cute and sexy when she was younger. You know what I mean? Yeah.
She just had that it. You just look at her and go, wow, you know, I just can't think of women today being that cool.
You know what I mean to me? You know, you have your Billy Eyeless, Eilish is and Lady Gaga's and stuff like that, you know, or Miley Cyrus is.
I mean, Barbara Eden and people like that, you know, women like that.
Just incredible. What would you call it? Classy.
Just she was very classy. Yeah. Yeah. Elegant, really classy, beautiful woman.
So anyhow, I will get off of that there. That's cool to know, though.
All righty. Classic ranch Fritos are returned to shelves for a limited time.
The crunchy corn chips are coated in tangy buttermilk ranch seasoning, offering customers a zesty flavor in comparison to the brand spicy offerings.
In recent Instagram post and I'm not going to read this guy either.
I decided I'm not going to read Instagram names. Fuck them.
So anyhow, shaped a photo of the chips and followers expressed their excitement about the return of the flavor.
I just have to find these. I love ranch Fritos so much said one commentator.
And I'm not going to go into the rest of it. But do you know why I don't read influencers and all that stuff?
And all those names anymore? Why?
Because all of them are writing these articles out to just get cheap publicity and I refuse to be a part of it.
You know, until I hear them coming up going, hey, I just listened to two douchebags and microphone.
I don't want anything to do with it. So and I'm not being bitter.
I just I'm just getting tired of everybody being, you know, uber important.
So or they think they are, you know what I mean?
You know, anyhow, go ahead, Rob. That's all I had on that one.
Yeah, that's all I had on that one. OK.
OK, you got something you want to go to?
I'm looking. I'm looking. OK.
I got something here if you don't have something.
OK. Did you hear about the family in Saskatchewan?
They got brain worms from eating bear meat.
No, they did. Saskatchewan, Canada.
In May, lacking a meat thermometer, the family assesses the
bear that they just killed and they were going to eat it.
So anyhow, they made bear kebabs out of it and they served it rare,
which they didn't know. But if you serve bear rare, you can get this brain eating worm
in your brain. And everyone in the family got that brain eating worm
from eating bear kebabs of this bear that they just killed.
OK, I understand that people, you know, hunt and stuff like that.
But I mean, there are so many other outlets to get meat at.
Why would you want to go hunt a bear, a majestic creature like that, and eat it?
I just don't. I think it's just taking it too far.
It's like kind of like their little power rush to go kill this thing.
And then, OK, since we killed it, we're going to eat it.
Well, you know what? This thing ended up, I think, I'm not sure if it killed them.
It's on its way to killing them, I do believe.
I don't think there's anything I can do that they can do about it.
So I think they're all toast.
And you know, and the bad thing is, is I'm sure the kids had nothing to do with it.
But the parents are probably like, yeah, this is great meat. Eat it.
It's going to be good for you. And then they didn't cook it right anyhow.
So you know what? I mean, I find a hard time feeling bad for these people, except for the children.
You, Rob?
Yeah, I feel bad for them.
Yeah, I mean, I think that there's no reason to go kill a bear to me.
So anyhow, did you find your story, Rob?
Yeah, yeah, I came across one.
Well, I'd already went through the woods. I had colds for tonight, so I got to go into something else.
I've got a bunch of them here if you don't have something.
No, I got one here.
Oh, okay, go ahead.
They're one of the most well-known bands in the world, but some music lovers are only just learning what ACDC actually stands for after 51 years.
Founded by brothers Malcolm Young and Angus Jones, the Australian rock band's current line-up comprises lead guitarist Angus, bass guitarist Cliff Williams, drummer Phil Ladd, lead vocalist Brian Johnson, and rhythm guitarist, the nephew of Angus and Malcolm.
It's 1974. The band has won 17 awards and received another 50 nominations, including Grammy Awards, RIA Music Awards, IHOP Music Awards, and MTV Music Awards.
However, it seems some of the fans still can't decide on their music style, which some describe as hard rock, while others say it's heavy metal or blues rock.
Whatever it is, it's very good. Agreed?
Agreed. One loyal fan started to wonder what its band name actually means and asked Reddit users what does ACDC actually stand for.
While some believe ACDC stands for Antichrist Devil's Child.
I remember that!
Its origin story couldn't be further from the Devil. When Malcolm and Angus were brainstorming band names, their sister Margaret planned out the symbol ACDC on the AC adapter of her sewing machine.
The abbreviation stands for Alton Angus, current director of electricity.
Yeah, the general of the antichrist.
They symbolized their bands for all the energy.
Cool!
Yeah, that's what it stands for.
You see, besides the after Christ Devil Comes is what I heard, but it's pretty close to what they heard on the article.
The other thing that was a popular mindset was they had a relatively flamboyant lead singer before he passed away, Bon Scott.
He kind of acted kind of infeminite sometimes.
And supposedly, this is what the story was, and it made magazines too.
They said they did that as an innuendo, although he is not bisexual, supposedly.
They did that as an innuendo to gather attention because Bon Scott was rather feminine sometimes when he moved and rather feminine when he talked.
Not all the time.
So, supposedly, and I think there might be some truth in this, because there's many magazines that supported this belief or knew it somehow for a fact that Bon Scott was not bisexual, but they were having fun with it, trying to gather attention.
Right?
So, and that's why the band's name was ACDC.
But what I think happened is, I think all of those factors went together in naming the band ACDC.
And then when you got Brian Johnson, he definitely is a man's man, right?
Right.
Yeah.
So, all of that went away with Brian Johnson because Brian Johnson is a whiskey-drinking man's man, so they couldn't really do that with him.
So, anyhow, that's cool though.
All right.
Thank you, Rob.
I got another one here if you're still ready to keep going for a little bit longer.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
Tesla self-driving cars came to another really, a really close crash again.
Is a close call.
Greg Doty, the second, a Tesla owner, narrowly avoided a collision after his vehicle in full self-driving mode, FSD mode, allegedly steered towards an oncoming train.
Now, that would make you shit your pants, wouldn't it?
Yeah, it would.
Now, mind you, when, okay, when these doors, these doors are locked while the car is in motion, okay?
So, if this thing's going towards a train and it doesn't like veer off or you don't figure it out, you're fucked, right?
You can't get out of the thing.
So, nighttime dashcam footage from earlier this month in Ohio captured the harrowing scene.
Doty's Tesla, or Doty's or whatever his name is, Tesla rapidly approaching a train with no apparent deceleration.
He insisted his Tesla was in full self-driving mode when it barreled towards the train crossing without slowing down.
Dashcam footage shows the driver taking desperate action, swerving through the railway crossing sign and slamming on the brakes just meters before an oncoming train.
And if you get a chance, look this up, Rob, it is crazy.
That guy just barely being killed by inches and seconds.
Tesla faces mounting legal challenges over its allegedly misleading autopilot and full self-driving capabilities.
Owners claim these features malfunction by failing to stop for other vehicles or swerving into objects causing crashes to some tragically resulting in fatalities.
Taken to the Tesla Motors Club forum, Doty reported a troubling issue despite owning the car for less than a year.
He claimed it has twice steered itself directly towards oncoming trains in FSD, full self-driving modes, in the past six months.
Doty reportedly attempted to file a complaint and found similar cases but claims no lawyer would take it due to his lack of serious injuries.
He mentioned experience backaches and a bruise.
Tesla acknowledges that low light conditions, adverse weather such as rain or snow, direct sunlight and fog can significantly impact performance.
They strongly advise drivers to exercise caution and avoid using FSD in those scenarios.
Now the thing I want to know Rob, there's a bunch more in the article but I'm not even going to get to it.
If they tell them, number one, was that what was going on in that train video? I didn't see fog or any of the things that it said to avoid.
It looked to me like just a perfectly normal evening with nothing really out of the ordinary in this car doing it.
Now I don't know, maybe there's something I missed or maybe the video was cleaned up, I don't know.
But to me it didn't look like any of those scenarios at all. So Rob, you got anything?
Yeah. A Southern California truck driver received an unexpected package with a live rattle sneak inside.
Leading him to believe it was a chicken murder.
Yeah?
The man called 911 after he picked up a package at the 29 Palms Post Office and made the discovery last week.
The San Bernardino County Sheriff's Office Department told USA Today on Wednesday.
Officers responded and forwarded the report to the US Postal Inspection Service, which is conducting an investigation.
The driver's 60-year-old Elijah Boles said someone had placed cotton balls inside the box to prevent postal workers from hearing the sneak's rattle.
Oh, okay, I think he's right on that.
He estimated the snake was about two feet long. That's a ticket murder if you ask me, Boles told the newspaper.
Yeah?
Well, it goes on and it states that the snake had been in the postal system for two weeks.
Wow. How could it stay alive that long?
Well, actually, I think snakes can stay alive a long time. If they eat a rat or a rodent or something, I think they can stay alive for a long time.
Because their body takes a long time to dissolve that whole piece of food.
Okay, that would probably explain that.
Yeah, I would not want to open that box up.
Hell no, and imagine this, okay? They put cotton in there so you couldn't hear it rattling. Someone was seriously trying to kill this guy. I agree with that.
Sounds like it.
Yeah. If I was him, I would be checking his friends list really closely and his enemies list really closely because someone is trying to get him.
Alright, Rob, well, you want to go ahead and call this good for tonight?
Yeah, I'm getting a little tired.
Okay. Alright, thank you all for listening. Hi, Opal. Hi, Jimmy. Hi, Ricky.
Hi, Mom. Hi, Jimmy. Hi, Ricky.
Love you guys. Dodge City, Kansas. Ra-Ra, we love you guys. Have a fantastic evening. Good night, assholes.
Good night, assholes.
Oh no, looks like the show's over, kids. Mark has explosive diarrhea and can't afford a wireless mic. Fear not, assholes. They'll be back invading your ear holes soon.