1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:29,920 And now it's time for the Daily Doshbag Lunch! 2 00:00:29,920 --> 00:00:37,760 Two deucebags and a microphone pledge. I, Joe, or Jane listener hereby promise to download every show. 3 00:00:37,760 --> 00:00:44,880 I, Joe, or Jane listener hereby promise to grab family members phones and download the show from 4 00:00:44,880 --> 00:00:51,720 there. I, Joe, or Jane listener hereby promise to go to public computers and download the show from 5 00:00:51,720 --> 00:00:59,680 there. I, Joe, or Jane listener hereby promise to laugh at all the unfunny jokes. I, Joe, 6 00:00:59,680 --> 00:01:04,880 or Jane listener hereby promise to lie to all my friends and tell them how good the show is. 7 00:01:04,880 --> 00:01:12,440 And finally, I, Joe, or Jane listener promise to visit Montrose, Missouri to take advantage of the 8 00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:16,600 power plant, campgrounds, and junkyard all within its quarter-mile radius. 9 00:01:16,600 --> 00:01:27,040 Here at Two Deucebags and a Microphone, we don't stand behind our journalistic integrity. Go ahead 10 00:01:27,040 --> 00:01:32,920 and assume we got the story wrong. At least we admit it. Not like all those other guys, 11 00:01:32,920 --> 00:01:39,680 we can and will lie if it makes the story better. Two deucebags and a microphone. 12 00:01:39,680 --> 00:01:43,600 We Talk. 13 00:01:43,600 --> 00:01:54,240 Hey there, fuckstick. You're just in time for brand new feature news nobody gives a shit about. 14 00:01:54,240 --> 00:01:59,440 A California girl just got a license to carry a unicorn. 15 00:01:59,440 --> 00:02:09,680 Two Deucebags and a Microphone in an effort to keep everything fresh. We offer you first-world 16 00:02:09,680 --> 00:02:22,200 problems. My 76-inch smart HDMI, triphonic, stereo TV. My remote won't work unless I'm right in front 17 00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:26,320 of it. I can't believe it. This is bullshit. 18 00:02:26,320 --> 00:02:32,840 This is a voice guide from your favorite podcast, Two Deucebags and a Microphone. 19 00:02:32,840 --> 00:02:37,400 People often ask us how they can find us when doing a remote broadcast. 20 00:02:37,400 --> 00:02:43,920 One, smell. Go to the city market and start sniffing. Our aroma has been described as a 21 00:02:43,920 --> 00:02:49,000 mixture of flea powder for goats, Tabasco sauce, and old sock with dark fuzzy urine. 22 00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:57,040 Two, look for the spot absent of patrons. Three, the most telling sign is a crowd of patrons 23 00:02:57,040 --> 00:03:04,120 vomiting uncontrollably. Four, just call us at 816-512-7717. 24 00:03:04,120 --> 00:03:12,280 Two Deucebags and a Microphone, raw and uncensored. See behind the smoke show. Watch as the Deucebags 25 00:03:12,280 --> 00:03:18,800 get stung by a stalk of bees. Enjoy one of many coffee houses ordering our heroes out. Watch Mark 26 00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:24,920 revisit Clinton, Missouri to claim his innocence for all the mad shitter accusations. Act now and 27 00:03:24,920 --> 00:03:30,520 get both high quality DVD sets and a free douchebag calendar. Mark off the day with a douchebag 28 00:03:30,520 --> 00:03:45,320 looking at you. Supplies are limited, so act now. Two Deucebags and a Microphone, I'm Mark. 29 00:03:45,320 --> 00:03:52,720 And I'm Rob. Alright, hey Rob, how you doing tonight? I'm doing pretty good, doing pretty good. 30 00:03:52,720 --> 00:03:58,800 That's good to hear you say. Life's doing good right now, brother. Good, that's great brother, 31 00:03:58,800 --> 00:04:04,400 I love to hear that. You know, you sound chipper. That's excellent man. You know, I'm one of the 32 00:04:04,400 --> 00:04:09,760 people that like if my good friends hurt, I hurt. And I think you're the same way, aren't you? Oh 33 00:04:09,760 --> 00:04:17,520 yeah, definitely. I've always been that way. Yeah, I mean, I can't be truly happy unless most of the 34 00:04:17,520 --> 00:04:22,360 people that I know are relatively happy. There's always just something a little bit that bothers 35 00:04:22,360 --> 00:04:27,320 me whenever I know someone is not, you know, doing as good as they could. But I'm glad you've, 36 00:04:27,320 --> 00:04:33,680 everything is going well and it sounds like Shannon, right? Yeah, yeah. Sounds like Shannon 37 00:04:33,680 --> 00:04:39,040 has quite a bit to do with that, so I'm very happy for you. I believe so. And all you other 38 00:04:39,040 --> 00:04:44,200 chicks out there, you missed it. I gave you the opportunity to grab Rob. He's gone, like I said. 39 00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:49,680 Like I said, man, you know, he's gonna be gone one day and then you're gonna be going, damn it. So 40 00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:56,760 anyhow, Rob is snapped up by Shannon and we're very happy with that. I got a few things here. 41 00:04:56,760 --> 00:05:05,360 There's a new Jif peanut butter flavor. Okay. It's called Jif to go and chocolate flavored 42 00:05:05,360 --> 00:05:13,360 spread. I'm all in. Yeah, sounds pretty damn good, don't it? Hey, anything chocolate and peanut butter, 43 00:05:13,360 --> 00:05:18,960 you got my attention. Yeah, yeah. I decided to go a little bit lighthearted on this one because I 44 00:05:18,960 --> 00:05:23,240 listened to podcasts the other day and all this stuff with Bruce Dickinson and all that stuff, 45 00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:30,040 calling that person as see you next Tuesday and all that. I was like, man, I wish I would have 46 00:05:30,040 --> 00:05:35,960 just shut that down. But it's there and everything. I was just like, you know, that's the kind of 47 00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:44,760 thing that makes people like turn it off, you know. But we're really trying to dissect it like the guy 48 00:05:44,760 --> 00:05:50,600 did. The guy that sent me the email was genuine about it and he was right. But I should have shut 49 00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:56,480 it down. I should have just been like, yeah, the guy's bigoted. Let's just go on. But anyhow, okay. 50 00:05:56,480 --> 00:06:02,880 KC area stores are all ordered to stop selling illegal fabuloso disinfectant products. These 51 00:06:02,880 --> 00:06:07,320 apparently are fakes of the real product and contain some ingredients that might be harmful. 52 00:06:07,320 --> 00:06:14,320 17 area grocery stores in all. The products were illegally imported into the US. These products, 53 00:06:14,320 --> 00:06:21,400 according to the FDA, contain gluclortorite that pose several health risks, including throat and 54 00:06:21,400 --> 00:06:28,040 lung irritation, asthma and difficulty breathing, dermatitis, nasal irritation, sneezing, wheezing, 55 00:06:28,040 --> 00:06:34,480 burning eyes, and various other problems. The grocery stores are ones that serve the Hispanic 56 00:06:34,480 --> 00:06:41,480 community. Other products that are on the stop-sell list are antibacterial Clorox, Royal Pine, Golden 57 00:06:41,480 --> 00:06:46,800 Essence, multi-purpose antibacterial wipes are another one, and various other Hispanic cleaning 58 00:06:46,800 --> 00:06:52,520 party products. A man in Arizona is very frightened. Well, hang on. You know what? Before I go into 59 00:06:52,520 --> 00:06:59,280 that, okay, what that sounds like to me, and correct me if you think I'm wrong, Rob, is I think that 60 00:06:59,280 --> 00:07:06,320 those are products that they can sell in Mexico, but not here. Yeah, that's what it sounds like. 61 00:07:06,320 --> 00:07:11,760 Yeah. And I think that's all it was is I don't know if someone did it for more profit because 62 00:07:11,760 --> 00:07:17,440 they bought it cheaper there, or if it was actually a mix-up, but it seems to be as of right now just 63 00:07:17,440 --> 00:07:23,720 the Kansas City stores are affected by these illegal products because of what they contain in 64 00:07:23,720 --> 00:07:29,800 them, you know. So anyhow, it's just like in California, they can't have FD&C number. Is it 65 00:07:29,800 --> 00:07:35,080 yellow or something like that? Or red? No, it's red. Yeah, I think it's yellow. Yes, yeah. So, 66 00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:41,000 anyhow, it's the same type of thing, only, you know, America won't let that stuff in. Oh, no, 67 00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:47,760 no, wouldn't it? Red? Yeah. Because it was like the red skin. It was red. It was red. Yes, it was 68 00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:53,520 red. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah, because I remember we were talking about that. Okay. Right. Okay. 69 00:07:53,520 --> 00:07:58,800 A man in Arizona had a frightening experience with a giant snake crawled from under his hood of his 70 00:07:58,800 --> 00:08:04,360 car and onto his windshield while he was on an interstate. He managed to stop and get the snake 71 00:08:04,360 --> 00:08:09,400 off his windshield without crashing. Apparently, there is a lack of bathroom poultry in the stall 72 00:08:09,400 --> 00:08:15,200 walls. I'm like doing like a lightning round here. But anyhow, you know what, real quick, 73 00:08:15,200 --> 00:08:20,080 we'll go into that a second too. Okay. Imagine that you're driving on a freeway and a giant 74 00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:23,880 snake all of a sudden just pops up from the inside of your car on your windshield. Oh, 75 00:08:23,880 --> 00:08:31,320 shit. Yeah, he didn't wreck. He got it to the side and he got the snake off. I imagine he probably 76 00:08:31,320 --> 00:08:36,080 got a, I don't know, a stick or something and just grabbed the snake and tossed him to the side, 77 00:08:36,080 --> 00:08:41,240 I guess. It didn't really go into exactly what he did, but you know, he managed to, you know, 78 00:08:41,240 --> 00:08:47,240 to stop and got the snake off his windshield without crashing. So that's good. Apparently, 79 00:08:47,240 --> 00:08:52,600 there is a lack of bathroom poetry on the stall walls. Hardly any jokes or drawings, insults, 80 00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:59,600 and etc. This is due to cell phones, they found out. Seems that most people that are sitting on 81 00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:05,120 the crapper would rather browse their cell phones and sketch drawings and poetry. Remember when it 82 00:09:05,120 --> 00:09:11,280 was all, yeah, yeah. They say there's like virtually no poetry on walls and drawings and all that stuff 83 00:09:11,280 --> 00:09:17,640 like there used to be, you know, someone would draw like a penis. Another guy would say someone 84 00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:23,560 does something for my, you know, and all this stuff. But I guess they're just not doing it anymore 85 00:09:23,560 --> 00:09:28,440 because everybody's too browsed, too busy browsing the internet while they're taking a dump. You know, 86 00:09:28,440 --> 00:09:33,600 I kind of miss the old shitty house poetry such as here I am a broken hearted. I came here to shit, 87 00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:39,360 but only farted. That was one of my personal favorites. What about you, Rob? Yeah, yeah. 88 00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:47,040 Yep. That was a classic. And then the random live phone number of an ex with instructions to be as 89 00:09:47,040 --> 00:09:58,960 explicit as possible in a purr voice. Yeah, it never worked out. I think what happens is the people 90 00:09:58,960 --> 00:10:03,520 change their number. Someone's like really mad at their ex and then they like give the live number 91 00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:07,840 out on a shitter wall. And then like the next day they change their number. So when you call us like 92 00:10:07,840 --> 00:10:15,360 neeh er neeh, and it's like, oh man, I got here two days late. So anyhow, but I wouldn't do that 93 00:10:15,360 --> 00:10:21,600 anyhow. It's like, yeah, I was too afraid of getting caught. You know, when I used to do those, 94 00:10:21,600 --> 00:10:30,320 when I used to call quick trip, I got caught. Yeah. Danielle caught me. You know. Right. Oh, 95 00:10:30,320 --> 00:10:35,840 of course, Danielle. Yeah. Remember the last time that we were going to revisit it, me and David 96 00:10:35,840 --> 00:10:39,280 were, and they're like, oh, we're bored. Let's call quick trip again and fuck with people. 97 00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:46,080 Then as soon as, you know, hello? Yeah. I don't know what I said. Like, what are you wearing or 98 00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:52,080 whatever? Or, Hey, uh, I'm scratching my balls or something, you know, at least like Mark Wallace, 99 00:10:52,080 --> 00:10:59,120 huh? What? This is Danielle. I'm like, oh shit. Sorry. I'm like, forget everything. 100 00:10:59,120 --> 00:11:03,440 Okay. Why are you calling a pay phone? No, no, just, just move on. You don't need to know. 101 00:11:04,880 --> 00:11:13,680 So anyhow, um, okay. So anyhow, the, you know, um, there's like no more shit house poetry 102 00:11:13,680 --> 00:11:19,040 or horrible drawings or anything at, so now I found an app that changes the channel on most 103 00:11:19,040 --> 00:11:24,000 TVs and internet TV services. It's fun to wait until someone's starting to fall asleep and then 104 00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:30,000 change the channel to QVC. Then tell them, then tell them something like the channels pay the 105 00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:38,720 subscription services to change the channel to QVC during the night hours. And some people believe 106 00:11:38,720 --> 00:11:44,640 it. Some people won't. Um, John in Kentucky thinks our show would be more entertaining if I make 107 00:11:44,640 --> 00:11:51,440 goat noises continually instead of our regular talk. John, that is a premium service that is 9.99 a 108 00:11:51,440 --> 00:12:01,520 month PayPal or Venmo. The only get the goat noises the whole time, unless you do the premium 109 00:12:01,520 --> 00:12:05,760 subscription. I'm sorry. Other than that is this crappy show. This crappy show is for free. 110 00:12:07,840 --> 00:12:12,240 Yeah, come on now. We all know the goat noises are what's in. So I mean, 111 00:12:15,840 --> 00:12:20,080 yeah, that's right. I gotta, I gotta make a buck somehow. Rob's always out of his puzzle. I mean, 112 00:12:20,080 --> 00:12:25,120 him in a loincloth in the rainforest. I mean, they went like hotcakes. They're in the middle. 113 00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:29,360 I gotta get a new shipment out of it, man. Yeah, me, I gotta do something. I mean, 114 00:12:29,360 --> 00:12:36,800 what I got going for me? Goat noises. There you go. So, all right. Anyhow, yeah, see, I gotta be 115 00:12:36,800 --> 00:12:41,840 good at it. Just like when I was on that cruise and the hillbillies were next to me and we had 116 00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:49,120 our light off and we're out there on the, on our patio, on the, um, on the balcony and they just 117 00:12:49,120 --> 00:12:53,280 have partitions, but you can hear them and everything. And they'd be over there drinking 118 00:12:53,280 --> 00:12:59,920 and smoking. And all of a sudden I go, and you hear them talking. All of a sudden they shut up 119 00:12:59,920 --> 00:13:03,920 and you hear them trying to hear it again. So I'd be really quiet and not do anything. 120 00:13:04,960 --> 00:13:10,560 And then I wait for them to start talking to go, and you can tell. And you hear some 121 00:13:10,560 --> 00:13:16,240 whispering like, Hey, did you hear that? What? What? It sounded like a goat. What's that? What 122 00:13:16,240 --> 00:13:23,120 that was? All we could do is like, do our best not to crack up laughing because they're, they're 123 00:13:23,120 --> 00:13:28,640 like freaking out thinking they heard a goat and they're smashed. So anyhow, so 999 a month. 124 00:13:29,360 --> 00:13:36,640 What the hell was his name? John in Kentucky. I imagine it felt pretty good because every time 125 00:13:36,640 --> 00:13:44,160 I did that, they went in from the balcony eventually. So, um, okay. Nearly half of all 126 00:13:44,160 --> 00:13:49,840 China cities are sinking. I'm thinking of starting a mud and poly jacking service in China. What 127 00:13:49,840 --> 00:13:56,240 about you? Yeah, that'd be a good idea. Hell yeah. Yeah. Hell yeah. I go around and go, um, um, yeah, 128 00:13:56,240 --> 00:14:01,440 yeah. All the, I can raise your property here. I'll know about everyone else's, but you'll be up 129 00:14:01,440 --> 00:14:07,520 where you're supposed to be. Everyone else will sink. Right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, all right. Um, 130 00:14:08,640 --> 00:14:13,200 anyhow, um, there's raspberry spice. Sprite is the newest flavor for them. 131 00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:18,720 It's supposed to be refreshing and still be lemon lime flavored. Now, Rob, correct me if I'm wrong 132 00:14:18,720 --> 00:14:25,760 on this. I've never thought Sprite actually tasted like lemon lime. Have you? No, no, it's good. I 133 00:14:25,760 --> 00:14:31,600 have not either. It's good, whatever it is, but it's just not lemon lime. It's just like olive 134 00:14:31,600 --> 00:14:37,280 garden is good, but it's not Italian food. You know, Taco bell is good, but it's not real Mexican 135 00:14:37,280 --> 00:14:43,200 food. You know, it's something. I don't know what it is, but it's good. I like it all. Well, to me, 136 00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:48,960 Sprite has never, I've never considered Sprite lemon lime. I just, some sort of sugary magnificent 137 00:14:48,960 --> 00:14:55,280 neficiently carbonated drink. So anyhow, uh, so anyhow, it's supposed to refresh it and still 138 00:14:55,280 --> 00:15:02,240 be lemon lime flavored. Uh, so anyhow, I, you know, I do drink it here and there, but I've never 139 00:15:02,240 --> 00:15:08,640 considered lemon lime. So anyhow, most Starbucks cups are made with 75% plastic. I wish they could 140 00:15:08,640 --> 00:15:17,440 same for their coffee. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, I have just more and more have become not a fan of 141 00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:25,360 Starbucks. The more I try other coffees and, and do other ways of brewing coffee and all that, 142 00:15:25,360 --> 00:15:32,800 the more I find out that Starbucks is really to me, I don't think it's that good of a product. 143 00:15:32,800 --> 00:15:40,720 I think it's very overpriced and not as good as they say. So any, I went, I went to scoops the 144 00:15:40,720 --> 00:15:48,480 other day and it was pretty good. Who was it? Scoops. Oh, uh, scooters, scooters, scooters. 145 00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:54,400 Or scooters. Yeah. Yeah. Scooters is really good. I like their coffee. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Scooters 146 00:15:54,400 --> 00:16:00,080 is good. We got one here in Campton. Oh, you do in the little drive-through thing. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. 147 00:16:00,080 --> 00:16:04,560 They're popping up everywhere. I like scooters too. They're really good. But my favorite is Dutch 148 00:16:04,560 --> 00:16:09,520 brothers. And when you come down, I'll take you there. There's one in Belton. Um, but there's 149 00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:14,240 only like a couple around Kansas city right now. I think they're from the coast, the west coast. 150 00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:19,040 So they haven't made it all the way. Do what I've heard of them. They're really good. They're my 151 00:16:19,040 --> 00:16:26,720 favorite right now. Um, so, okay. So anyhow, um, more men are now getting faceless according to 152 00:16:26,720 --> 00:16:32,640 the medical board. I believe it. Man bun guy really hates his chin. So it needs to be corrected. 153 00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:38,960 So when you see a new go fund me, so when you see a new fund me for a new chin, you know why 154 00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:46,320 man bun guy needs a new chin. You know, I'm a real man. Just busted his, 155 00:16:48,240 --> 00:16:51,440 the real man came up there and made fun of him. So now he's got to start to go. 156 00:16:52,800 --> 00:16:59,680 Just best him right now. I had my feelings hurt. Well, why is that man bun guy? A guy came by and 157 00:16:59,680 --> 00:17:06,720 made fun of my chin and then he busted me in the jaw. His name was Rob, but I did get his calendar. 158 00:17:06,720 --> 00:17:17,760 He's in a loincloth. Okay. Gen Z are in more debt at the same age than millennials. 159 00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:23,520 Ziers have more lines of credit, higher delinquency rates, and a higher debt to income ratio 160 00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:30,320 than millennials did at the same age. Today's 22 to 24 year olds have an average debt of income ratio 161 00:17:30,320 --> 00:17:38,720 of 16% compared to 12% for millennials of that age in 2023. One huge difference is the escalating 162 00:17:38,720 --> 00:17:44,720 cost of avocado toast and Starbucks new juicer drinks. That seems to put them in the, uh, put 163 00:17:44,720 --> 00:17:51,680 them in the red. Yeah. Yeah. Avocado toast, by the way, may or may not be getting an ass paddling 164 00:17:51,680 --> 00:18:03,520 coming up. Just saying. Okay. Okay. And anyhow, so, um, you know, so avocado toast, go fund me for 165 00:18:03,520 --> 00:18:10,080 any Zier page near you. That is the end of odds and end bullshit for today. Rob, we look at you 166 00:18:10,080 --> 00:18:18,880 to clean this program up. All right. Um, we have a new resort coming to like in the Ozarks. Oh, really? 167 00:18:18,880 --> 00:18:30,000 Yeah. Okay. It's a new seven million dollar plus bass fishing resort is on its way to the Lake area. 168 00:18:30,640 --> 00:18:38,400 That's according to the OCEA beach administrator, Jenna woods, who says all new anglers outpost. 169 00:18:39,040 --> 00:18:45,360 That's the name of it. Anglers outpost will be located on the parkway on the west end of town 170 00:18:45,360 --> 00:18:54,320 near the KK intersection. Project mastermind Tom Roy jr. Says the entire campus of the resort 171 00:18:54,320 --> 00:19:05,120 is designed by fishermen, built by fishermen to serve fishermen. You see, I love that. I love that. 172 00:19:05,120 --> 00:19:11,120 Finally, a bass, you know, an actual real like a fisherman's like lodge deal instead of these, um, 173 00:19:11,120 --> 00:19:18,720 um, um, food places, right? Where you just go there to get smashed. Right. Because they have them down 174 00:19:18,720 --> 00:19:26,880 at table rock. Go ahead. I'm sorry. The resort will include suites, sleeping rooms, garage space, 175 00:19:26,880 --> 00:19:36,960 and other amenities and is expected to open for business within the year. Um, the garages are 12 176 00:19:36,960 --> 00:19:50,000 by 60. Uh huh. Yeah. This, this sounds nice. It really does. Located a half mile from public beach 177 00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:58,960 number two. Which one is that Rob? What is that? It's the one like right in the heart of OCEA beach. 178 00:19:58,960 --> 00:20:08,880 Oh, okay. Uh, on the west side. Yes. The one that you can see from the strip really well, right? 179 00:20:11,520 --> 00:20:16,480 Is that it? No, it'd be the other one. Oh, the other one. Okay. Yeah, this one's on this side, 180 00:20:16,480 --> 00:20:24,080 more this side than the other. Okay. Okay. It's in OCEA beach, uh, by KK, close to KK, 181 00:20:24,080 --> 00:20:31,440 which is around the tan tar of the area. Okay. Okay. On down. Okay. I got you. Yeah. Yeah. It's 182 00:20:31,440 --> 00:20:39,200 down on the OCEA beach parkway is what they call it, which used to be business 54. Yeah. Okay. I 183 00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:44,240 know what you're talking about. You see, I love that idea, Rob, because actually a fishing area, 184 00:20:44,240 --> 00:20:48,560 the lake has been taken over by everything else, right? And people actually want to go there and 185 00:20:48,560 --> 00:20:54,160 fish because there's great fishing there. You know, they can actually go there. There is awesome 186 00:20:54,160 --> 00:20:59,280 fishing. It's some of the best fishing around there, but the problem is, is everybody partying. 187 00:20:59,280 --> 00:21:04,480 So people go down to Table Rock Lake where they actually have bass camps, you know, where people, 188 00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:09,600 you know, they have actually have bass hotels and bass resorts, like they're opening up there. 189 00:21:09,600 --> 00:21:14,000 You can go there and like you said, rent a slip, rent a garage and real fishermen, 190 00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:18,640 they'll like rent it out for like a month and stay there and just fish the whole time and then leave. 191 00:21:18,640 --> 00:21:28,720 And that's a great idea. I think that is going to do well. A lot of retirees. Yes. I could see me 192 00:21:28,720 --> 00:21:33,440 doing that if I ever fully retire, but I don't know if I'll ever fully retire. I could, I could 193 00:21:33,440 --> 00:21:40,640 see me and you both doing that probably together. You know what I'd like to do though is one of my 194 00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:48,720 favorite places to fish is the back waters of Truman Truman reservoir. That is a fun, 195 00:21:48,720 --> 00:21:53,600 you take a paddle boat, you don't want to take a motor boat. You're going to ruin your motor over 196 00:21:53,600 --> 00:21:59,520 there. But I mean, a lot of that water is just waste high, if not a little bit higher, but there 197 00:21:59,520 --> 00:22:04,640 are some of the best fishing in those near those logs and those trees that haven't been cut all the 198 00:22:04,640 --> 00:22:11,120 way down. You know what I'm talking about, right? Like, yeah, yeah. What off at 13 there, 199 00:22:12,480 --> 00:22:20,320 what's over there? Like maybe a deep water or something like that. Yeah. The Grand Lake arm, 200 00:22:20,320 --> 00:22:25,920 I think is what it is. Yeah, that is a phenomenal place to fish. But like I said, you can only take 201 00:22:25,920 --> 00:22:30,720 a paddle boat out there because you'll probably destroy a motor in there. It's something will get 202 00:22:30,720 --> 00:22:38,160 tangled in it. So cool. I like that a lot. Well, let's go ahead and take our first break. And when 203 00:22:38,160 --> 00:22:44,400 we come back, I got some ass paddlings. How's that sound? Oh, I'm ready, man. All right. I am too. 204 00:22:44,400 --> 00:22:51,520 I mean, this used to be a monthly thing, but so many people are screwing up that we have to do it 205 00:22:51,520 --> 00:22:56,960 like every two weeks now. There's just too many people screwing up. And we there. I mean, I got 206 00:22:56,960 --> 00:23:01,440 another 10 ass paddlings there in two weeks. I mean, and then I've already got three for the next 207 00:23:01,440 --> 00:23:07,360 one. So anyhow, we'll be right back with some ass paddling because people need it. Right? Right. 208 00:23:12,640 --> 00:23:14,800 Two douchebags and a microphone says, 209 00:23:16,080 --> 00:23:21,760 you ever dream about eating chocolate pudding and wake up with a spoon in your ass? Just asking. 210 00:23:21,760 --> 00:23:31,840 Hi, all. This is Chicago. I am the most dangerous city in North America. 211 00:23:34,480 --> 00:23:39,200 You can't touch me. Oh, yeah. This is Kansas City here. Hold my beer, bitch. 212 00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:49,280 Jim X. What the hell happened? You were the generation of change. 213 00:23:52,000 --> 00:24:00,320 You never wanted to be one of them. At the feet. Spoke for you. Hunk the man. Hunk the system. 214 00:24:00,320 --> 00:24:07,760 And what the hell happened? The generation of angst, the generation of noncompliance 215 00:24:09,280 --> 00:24:14,640 is now buying a boat. You're really fed up to kill someone. Dangle the dollar near you. 216 00:24:16,080 --> 00:24:18,640 Great job, Xers. Everything's ruined. 217 00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:25,520 Next time you take a dump, listen to two douchebags and a microphone. 218 00:24:25,520 --> 00:24:31,200 It's been proven in laboratory rats to relax your anal canal. Get in somewhere. 219 00:24:33,680 --> 00:24:38,800 Brick Shit House Energy Drink. That's right. Brick Shit House Energy Drink. 220 00:24:48,800 --> 00:24:53,840 Please enjoy Brick Shit House Energy Drink responsibly. It's not readily available anywhere 221 00:24:53,840 --> 00:24:58,800 because of liability issues. Tomorrow morning while grinding your coffee beans for your double 222 00:24:58,800 --> 00:25:05,280 mocha latte, remember to not get your genitals caught in the grinder. It really hurts. Who can 223 00:25:05,280 --> 00:25:22,160 afford plastic surgery? Stay safe, everyone. And I'm Rob. Well, Rob, it was funny when you 224 00:25:22,160 --> 00:25:27,760 text me today and you had the same idea I did about this guy that really needs an ass paddling. 225 00:25:28,320 --> 00:25:35,600 And he was the first one on the list. And anyhow, very rightly so. But first I'll go into the origin 226 00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:42,080 of the ass paddling. So anyhow, started with me and Topher probably about the fourth episode. 227 00:25:42,080 --> 00:25:48,080 We decided to give out invisible ass paddling to people that need it. So we were walking along the 228 00:25:48,080 --> 00:25:54,880 beach. We were both on vacation in Florida. And the sun was glistening off our hair. It was rising 229 00:25:54,880 --> 00:26:00,080 and the wind was blowing and blowing our hair back. And we were walking along but we're not holding 230 00:26:00,080 --> 00:26:05,040 hands like Rob and his brother say. It was a tender moment, yes, but we're not holding hands. 231 00:26:05,760 --> 00:26:11,200 And until I stepped on that genie bottle and stubbed my toe really bad. And yeah, I fell down. I'm 232 00:26:11,200 --> 00:26:15,520 like, Ah, shit. Oh, man, that hurts. And Topher's like, haha, that looks like a genie bottle. I'm 233 00:26:15,520 --> 00:26:20,800 like, No way, that is not. So I hobble over there. And I'm like, I think it is a genie bottle. So I 234 00:26:20,800 --> 00:26:26,080 pop out the cork and this genie comes out. And he's real condescending and he could not stand us. He 235 00:26:26,080 --> 00:26:31,120 thought we're a couple of rogues, right? So yeah, I'm like, Hey, we're both like, Hey, we get three 236 00:26:31,120 --> 00:26:37,680 wishes. He rolls his eye goes, No, you guys watch too much TV. Get one wish, one wish only. I 237 00:26:37,680 --> 00:26:45,200 suggest you use it well. World peace, an environment, something, you know, health. And me and Topher look 238 00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:51,040 at each other and look at him and say, Hey, we want to ask paddle people invisible. The genie very 239 00:26:51,040 --> 00:26:56,400 reluctantly, he rolled his eyes, he said, Very well, I have to give you your wish. He sighed and he 240 00:26:56,400 --> 00:27:03,360 made this happen. So once a month, and now, and now Rob has, he has special permission to attend, 241 00:27:04,080 --> 00:27:14,640 to attend these events, right? And we use old Sparky, which is a replica of, of the paddle that 242 00:27:14,640 --> 00:27:21,840 was used on many bottoms, including mine at cast midway high. It was a very rugged piece of equipment, 243 00:27:21,840 --> 00:27:30,400 a very thick board, it was with holes in it and a long handle on it. So our principal would not get 244 00:27:30,400 --> 00:27:37,920 his hand anywhere entwined in your ass and made sure it was all wood and hurt like hell. So we use 245 00:27:37,920 --> 00:27:45,920 a replica of old Sparky because I believe old Sparky has been retired and he's still in the trophy case 246 00:27:45,920 --> 00:27:50,400 with all the championships that we won back during the day. And he's right in the middle. 247 00:27:51,440 --> 00:27:58,560 And, and so I believe it. Yes. Yeah. Old Sparky got around. So old Sparky is in that case, as far 248 00:27:58,560 --> 00:28:03,920 as I know. So we use a replica of old Sparky. Old Sparky is a mean son of a bitch. I can tell you 249 00:28:03,920 --> 00:28:08,480 that. Ask my ass cheeks. They're not happy with old Sparky. They're not happy with it. 250 00:28:11,280 --> 00:28:17,120 No, no, no. It's just like old Sparky. So, yeah. All right. The first guy to get old Sparky 251 00:28:17,120 --> 00:28:20,320 administered to him while we're invisible and he can't do anything about it. 252 00:28:21,760 --> 00:28:27,520 Excuse me. We had to break into the jail to do this is Jace Christian Hansen, the fuckhead that 253 00:28:27,520 --> 00:28:35,040 allegedly can, oh, go ahead. What? Yep. The fuckhead that allegedly contaminated customers food at 254 00:28:35,040 --> 00:28:41,920 Leewood, Hereford house with bodily fluids or feces. Well, I don't believe it was feces now from 255 00:28:41,920 --> 00:28:47,440 an article that I just read. So I think I still have to be the mad shitter. I don't think he took 256 00:28:47,440 --> 00:28:56,000 the title from me. I think he was urinating in people's food. Yeah. And rubbing body parts. 257 00:28:56,000 --> 00:29:04,480 Oh, okay. Then maybe he did. Maybe he is. I heard that on KCTV5. Okay. Then all right. Then all 258 00:29:04,480 --> 00:29:10,800 right. Maybe he did take the crown of the mad shitter. I am. Yeah, he did urinate and did 259 00:29:10,800 --> 00:29:17,120 something. He did. Okay. So you know what? He can have that title. I don't need it anymore. I wore 260 00:29:17,120 --> 00:29:27,920 it since 95. So all because he didn't like his job. Is that what it was? That report on KCTV5. 261 00:29:27,920 --> 00:29:32,640 That's what they said. You see, since it was Leewood, I thought that like maybe someone was 262 00:29:32,640 --> 00:29:38,000 rude to him and he's all I'm gonna get them all back. What a dick. He just didn't like his job. 263 00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:42,560 What a dick. Oh my gosh. Well, that guy's looking at prison. He's going to do a lot of prison. And 264 00:29:42,560 --> 00:29:49,280 I think that's awesome. Anyone that would do that deserves prison for a long time. Excuse my allergies 265 00:29:49,280 --> 00:29:56,320 and summer cold. Still working on a cough button, but you know what? Probably won't get one because 266 00:29:56,320 --> 00:30:04,800 nothing from nothing is nothing, right? Right. Yeah. And the next one, Clarence Yoder, the idiot 267 00:30:04,800 --> 00:30:10,640 that Rob pointed out to us with his brilliant article that kicked a bison. And him and... 268 00:30:10,640 --> 00:30:18,000 That yellow stone ass of a boy. Yes. He gets a bare ass one, don't you think? Yeah. Now, 269 00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:22,800 Jace Christian Hanson should have got a bare ass one, but we didn't want to see his ass naked. 270 00:30:23,760 --> 00:30:28,400 So we're just going to go ahead and forego that. And we're going to go ahead and let the inmates 271 00:30:28,400 --> 00:30:34,800 deal with his asshole, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm sure they have plenty to say over his ass. 272 00:30:34,800 --> 00:30:40,960 So Clarence Yoder, the idiot that kicked the bison for no reason, gets a bare ass paddling 273 00:30:40,960 --> 00:30:48,560 and he deserves it. The next one that gets it is True Moo Company for producing and selling blue 274 00:30:50,080 --> 00:30:56,880 milk like featured in Star Wars. Yeah. Talk about cheap... I agree with that. Cheap, 275 00:30:56,880 --> 00:31:03,440 rain-dead rubes that will fall for anything. Grab your Kettacards and buy some overpriced milk 276 00:31:03,440 --> 00:31:08,080 with blue food coloring in it. Go ahead. It's there. Go ahead and spend 80 bucks on that thing 277 00:31:08,080 --> 00:31:14,000 or whatever the hell it is, idiots. So anyhow, they get an ass paddling for doing it. And then 278 00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:19,200 after that, we followed up with all the dumb shits that ran out and purchased the idiotic blue milk 279 00:31:19,200 --> 00:31:24,800 and they get a bare ass one, don't you think? Oh, definitely. Definitely. Yeah. Because... 280 00:31:25,680 --> 00:31:30,560 That just goes along with the cheeseball dude in New York. Yes. Yes. You know what? You're right. 281 00:31:30,560 --> 00:31:35,040 We got ass paddling. It's only fair. I think they sit next to each other in the ass paddling 282 00:31:35,040 --> 00:31:42,480 holding cell. What do you think? Yeah, we just put all four of them in a line, just walk on down. 283 00:31:44,720 --> 00:31:47,840 And we'll just draw straws because they're all equally as idiotic. 284 00:31:48,880 --> 00:31:53,040 Right. Okay. That sounds good to me. I think we're on the right track there, Rob. 285 00:31:53,040 --> 00:31:59,840 So, all right. And then the next people to get an ass paddling is anyone who highlights her post. 286 00:32:00,640 --> 00:32:07,200 So myself and everyone on their friends list gets a notification of said dribble. You want to guarantee 287 00:32:07,200 --> 00:32:13,520 that I'll never check out your post? Highlight it, fuckheads. I can't stand it because it's like 288 00:32:13,520 --> 00:32:19,360 all of a sudden it gives you a notice. So-and-so highlighted their post and it's like, I don't give 289 00:32:19,360 --> 00:32:24,320 a shit about this post. I'll see it when I see it. Don't highlight it like it's priority. Because 290 00:32:24,320 --> 00:32:31,440 when I read it, it's something stupid like, I don't know, check out my new line of socks or I don't 291 00:32:31,440 --> 00:32:37,280 know. And it just irritates the piss out of me because I waste time reading that shit. And, you 292 00:32:37,280 --> 00:32:41,040 know, it's one of the things that I really have something against right now. So anyone that does 293 00:32:41,040 --> 00:32:47,520 that gets an automatic ass paddling. And- Yeah, I know somebody that's selling bitcoins and every 294 00:32:47,520 --> 00:32:54,640 post they make on Facebook, they're highlighting. Oh man. Look, stop it man. Oh yeah. Yeah, 295 00:32:54,640 --> 00:32:59,760 I- yeah, that's so annoying. It's like, look, we'll get to your post and we'll read it, but don't try 296 00:32:59,760 --> 00:33:06,240 to make like it's like life altering because you highlighted this thing. I know it's not. Right. 297 00:33:06,240 --> 00:33:13,680 So anyway, yeah, it's bullshit. So anyhow, so if you highlight it and me or Rob or Topher catch you, 298 00:33:13,680 --> 00:33:22,480 we're grabbing you and ass paddling you. And that goes from here on, right? Right. All right. A lot 299 00:33:22,480 --> 00:33:27,760 of fuckheads are going to get ass paddling. The next one to get his ass paddling and maybe not so 300 00:33:27,760 --> 00:33:35,280 much down there, but definitely up here. Spin up tornadoes, get an ass paddling. Four hours of 301 00:33:35,280 --> 00:33:43,440 continuous wall to wall coverage every other fucking night for two weeks. Yeah, they're going 302 00:33:43,440 --> 00:33:51,120 north of us. Yeah, they're going right in our backyard. So we can, so we could not enjoy any 303 00:33:51,120 --> 00:33:55,680 show that we were going to watch that was on a local channel. Not that there's that, not there's 304 00:33:56,160 --> 00:34:00,960 there's that many anymore, but you know, I mean, I don't know. I'm just not into the American Idol 305 00:34:00,960 --> 00:34:09,280 and the voices stuff and all that. Are you? Uh, every now and I don't follow them, but I'll sit 306 00:34:09,280 --> 00:34:14,320 down. I'll watch an episode every now and me too. But man, to me, I, it's not something, if I got 307 00:34:14,320 --> 00:34:21,120 something else to do, I'll do that. So then, and uh, anyhow, I'm still laughing over this. 308 00:34:22,400 --> 00:34:29,280 Ozzy quit in acid when a horse told him to fuck off. That is one of the funniest fucking things 309 00:34:29,280 --> 00:34:34,560 I've ever heard. I imagine sitting there in the chair looking at all the colors and also a horse 310 00:34:34,560 --> 00:34:42,160 comes up. Hey, hey Ozzy. Oh, what the fuck? Fuck off. Whoa, what did I do to you? 311 00:34:44,240 --> 00:34:51,200 So yeah, I made him quit taking acid. Anyhow, so anyhow, the spin up tornado is getting ass 312 00:34:51,200 --> 00:34:56,960 paddling and they deserve it. But I would like to add a, a little note to that, a side note. 313 00:34:56,960 --> 00:35:02,080 I'm glad they're not EF threes or fours or fives or even twos. I'm glad they're little spin up 314 00:35:02,080 --> 00:35:06,480 bastards because those things usually come down and then go back up. Although the spin up that 315 00:35:06,480 --> 00:35:12,320 went in grain Valley went, was on the ground for like six, uh, six miles, which is a pretty good 316 00:35:12,320 --> 00:35:18,000 track for a tornado actually. Yeah, it is. Isn't the F one is like around a hundred mile an hour 317 00:35:18,000 --> 00:35:23,040 wind. So if you get caught in that, you're going to get fucked up, you know, or it could kill you. 318 00:35:23,040 --> 00:35:28,640 I mean, it lands a board on your head or something, you know, easily. So I mean, it's nothing to laugh 319 00:35:28,640 --> 00:35:34,400 at the spin up tornadoes, but at the same time, it just interrupts everything. And you know, so 320 00:35:34,400 --> 00:35:42,320 anyhow, I shouldn't even bitch about it really. I mean, did two Oklahoma, um, Tennessee, Alabama, 321 00:35:42,320 --> 00:35:47,440 those guys should bitch about it. Cause those guys get the shit tore out them by the huge tornadoes, 322 00:35:47,440 --> 00:35:53,920 the big super cell ones. So any, but if I didn't ask paddle anything, we wouldn't have this, uh, 323 00:35:53,920 --> 00:36:01,360 segment, right? Yeah. So we got to have stuff to ask paddle the next one. Mother nature gets an 324 00:36:01,360 --> 00:36:03,720 ass paddling. See above comments. 325 00:36:07,920 --> 00:36:14,160 Agreed. All right. Now who's going to grab mother nature and who's going to ask paddle them? 326 00:36:14,800 --> 00:36:21,200 Should we flip the coin? Oh shit. All I know is we're going to, that's going to be a chore. 327 00:36:21,200 --> 00:36:29,440 This is, excuse me. This is for all the boomers and exers. It's not nice to fool mother nature. 328 00:36:30,160 --> 00:36:31,840 So imagine if you ask paddler. 329 00:36:34,080 --> 00:36:40,160 Uh, yeah, you might have a point there. Yeah. Do you get what I'm referencing? Yeah. Yeah. 330 00:36:40,160 --> 00:36:47,040 What was that? Was that parquet? Something like that. Okay. So anyhow, mother nature gets an 331 00:36:47,040 --> 00:36:53,280 ass paddling. However, it works out local news channels cannot be left out as well for the above 332 00:36:53,280 --> 00:37:00,880 comments again. Agreed. All right. That'd be great. Seeing them like, uh, auto reporting it and like, 333 00:37:01,440 --> 00:37:05,200 you know, showing the spin up on the big board and all of a sudden they just like get picked up 334 00:37:05,200 --> 00:37:11,680 invisibly and all of a sudden you see old Sparky hitting her ass. Yeah. Yeah. But not three, 335 00:37:11,680 --> 00:37:18,080 three or four straight hours of it. Come on. No, no. I can see some local media, 336 00:37:18,080 --> 00:37:23,520 meteorologist there also and just like, just seemed to float in the air and a bit old Sparky 337 00:37:23,520 --> 00:37:30,560 smacks him in the ass live on air. Would that be great? Yeah. Yeah. So, and if they listen to show, 338 00:37:30,560 --> 00:37:38,800 they'll know it's us. All right. The Pentagon for trusting AI to jet fighters. We're all bone dude. 339 00:37:38,800 --> 00:37:44,320 Get John Connor, get John Connor on the phone right now. Let's go ahead and preempt this bullshit. 340 00:37:44,960 --> 00:37:54,960 Agreed. I agree. Yeah. Yeah. So John Connor needs to get here pronto. So yeah, we're all bone, Ben. 341 00:37:54,960 --> 00:37:58,560 You know, we got to get John Connor out here because pretty soon there's going to be what? 342 00:37:58,560 --> 00:38:06,880 3000 of them. I think the article said jet fighters with AI, AI at the helm. Yeah. Well, anyhow, 343 00:38:06,880 --> 00:38:13,280 anyhow, you know, our feelings if you'd listen to the show at all. So, and finally, Bruce Dickinson 344 00:38:13,280 --> 00:38:19,600 of Iron Maiden for the bigoted comments, plus a 3000 word essay slash apology. That sounded about 345 00:38:19,600 --> 00:38:26,640 right. Never thought I'd see it. Yeah. I got to agree. I still love Bruce Dickinson, but the fact 346 00:38:26,640 --> 00:38:32,560 is like, I forgot, God, I can't remember the guy's name, but he was absolutely right. Yeah. That 347 00:38:32,560 --> 00:38:37,920 comment was bigoted, very bigoted because he didn't have to make a description about them being a 348 00:38:37,920 --> 00:38:42,320 Greek. See you next Tuesday. He could have said just to see you next Tuesday, but the fact that 349 00:38:42,320 --> 00:38:47,520 he brought Greek into it means that he has something against that. So I agree with him. So Bruce 350 00:38:47,520 --> 00:38:54,640 Dickinson, I'm sorry. Love your music. Um, got to see your spoken word. It was excellent, but 351 00:38:54,640 --> 00:39:02,400 you get NASPATHLIN. Yup. I only abide by the rules. I don't make them. So anyhow, Rob, we turn to you. 352 00:39:04,400 --> 00:39:11,920 All right. I ran across an article. How can we get Hollywood to stop getting these six things wrong 353 00:39:11,920 --> 00:39:25,040 about grenades? Cool. Okay. The first movie air pulling the pin with your teeth. 354 00:39:27,760 --> 00:39:34,640 The safety pin of a grenade is deliberately made difficult to remove, especially when bent. 355 00:39:34,640 --> 00:39:44,000 If it were as easily extracted as shown in films, the grenade would neither be safe nor practical weapon, 356 00:39:44,000 --> 00:39:50,320 nor would it be dependable. While a soldier technically could use their teeth to pull the pin, 357 00:39:50,880 --> 00:39:57,680 this would likely lead to an unpleasant trip to the dentist, which nobody wants, especially in battle. 358 00:39:57,680 --> 00:40:04,560 It's probably kind of hard to find a dentist there. It is much easier and safer for soldiers to use 359 00:40:04,560 --> 00:40:12,720 their hands to remove the pin. Oh yeah. And you see that a lot of time on TV. Oh yeah. You see it all the time. 360 00:40:12,720 --> 00:40:18,400 And that's true. It's just like firing a gun sideways, a pistol. You can't do that with accuracy. 361 00:40:18,400 --> 00:40:29,440 So the same thing with a hand grenade. Okay. Movie error number two, a massive fireball explosion. 362 00:40:31,040 --> 00:40:37,280 In many war movies, characters are depicted throwing grenades, resulting in a dramatic explosion 363 00:40:38,000 --> 00:40:45,840 followed by their slow motion escape, as is typical in Hollywood. However, this portal is not 364 00:40:45,840 --> 00:40:54,400 entirely accurate. Grenades are not designed to generate massive fireballs, rather they are intended 365 00:40:54,400 --> 00:41:03,760 to propel shrapnel in a wide radius around them. The typical casualty radius of a hand grenade 366 00:41:04,480 --> 00:41:12,080 ranges from five to 20 meters, within 10 meter range a grenade can barely enter by standards, 367 00:41:12,080 --> 00:41:17,600 while serious injuries can occur up to 20 meters. 368 00:41:20,640 --> 00:41:27,440 Despite the potential lethality of a grenade explosion, the weapon lacks the force 369 00:41:27,440 --> 00:41:34,160 necessary to produce the immense fireballs seen in movies. Oh wow. 370 00:41:34,160 --> 00:41:43,040 The third movie error. Okay. The effects of shrapnel. 371 00:41:44,320 --> 00:41:52,400 Under grenades currently in use, the M67 fragmentation grenade stands out as one of the 372 00:41:52,400 --> 00:41:59,280 most common. These devices are designed as defensive weapons that break apart upon detonation, 373 00:41:59,280 --> 00:42:08,720 scattering shrapnel in every direction. Even improvised grenades like the incendiary Molotov 374 00:42:08,720 --> 00:42:16,560 cocktail use a similar fragmentation approach to maximize damage, which would be the glass bottles. 375 00:42:17,760 --> 00:42:24,720 Okay. However, in movies and TV shows, the video games, the shrapnel aspect of grenades 376 00:42:24,720 --> 00:42:32,320 is often ignored, with the focus instead on the explosive blast. There they go on that again. 377 00:42:34,320 --> 00:42:39,280 Okay. Movie error number four. Throwing the grenade like a baseball. 378 00:42:41,280 --> 00:42:46,320 When soldiers throw a grenade in movies, they usually throw it lightly over the shoulder like 379 00:42:46,320 --> 00:42:52,880 a baseball. In reality, grenades are much heavier than the average baseball. 380 00:42:52,880 --> 00:43:01,520 Weighing around 400 grams, depending on the model, while a baseball only weighs 141 grams. 381 00:43:02,400 --> 00:43:09,200 It takes time and practice for soldiers to properly throw a grenade, which is not forced to evolve. 382 00:43:12,960 --> 00:43:17,360 Avoid falling victim to the 20 meter wide casualty rates. 383 00:43:17,360 --> 00:43:22,000 Wow. That's something I never even thought about, but yeah. 384 00:43:22,720 --> 00:43:26,720 Yeah. Yeah. The weight difference. So you would have to throw it different. 385 00:43:26,720 --> 00:43:28,800 You couldn't throw it like a baseball. Yeah. 386 00:43:30,560 --> 00:43:34,880 You'd have to get more arch, you know. Yeah. I never even thought about that. 387 00:43:34,880 --> 00:43:40,320 That's stuff that you wouldn't know, you know. And you would have to put a lot more power into it. 388 00:43:41,840 --> 00:43:46,560 Someone did a really good job with this article. This is stuff that a regular 389 00:43:46,560 --> 00:43:56,240 person would not catch. Okay. I move here. Number five, projectile grenades are not missiles. 390 00:43:58,320 --> 00:44:03,920 Grenade launchers, also known as projectile grenades, have become one of the most easily 391 00:44:03,920 --> 00:44:10,160 recognizable weapons in the world. They were first used in modern combat during World War I 392 00:44:10,160 --> 00:44:17,360 and were constructed from items like crossbows and catapults. As such, they were less effective 393 00:44:17,360 --> 00:44:24,640 than the ones used today. Today, projectile grenades are so sophisticated that they often 394 00:44:24,640 --> 00:44:34,000 get mistaken for missiles and rocket propelled grenades. RPGs are much larger and use larger 395 00:44:34,000 --> 00:44:41,360 ammunition that's equipped with its own internal fuel supply, while grenade launchers of smaller 396 00:44:41,360 --> 00:44:49,440 rifles that use external fuel to launch fragmentation grenades, which slightly reduces the risk of 397 00:44:49,440 --> 00:44:57,920 getting blown up. Wow. This is interesting stuff. 398 00:44:57,920 --> 00:45:09,360 Yeah, yeah. And the final movie error, you can't actually throw grenades back. 399 00:45:11,680 --> 00:45:19,840 One movie trope that likely bothers many soldiers and military enthusiasts is when characters throw 400 00:45:19,840 --> 00:45:25,280 back unbinned grenades, especially when they've been sitting on the ground for more than a few 401 00:45:25,280 --> 00:45:32,480 seconds. While throwing the weapon back can be accomplished in some circumstances, it's incredibly 402 00:45:32,480 --> 00:45:42,720 difficult and inadvisable unless one has a death wish. There's only a few seconds of space between 403 00:45:42,720 --> 00:45:49,040 the pin being pulled and the grenade going off. And that's the only way soldiers could even 404 00:45:49,040 --> 00:45:55,040 successfully rob the weapon back is if they were to catch it straight out of the air. 405 00:45:55,040 --> 00:46:02,560 Oh, wow. This hardly ever happens. The most likely scenario is there a roll and bounce on the ground, 406 00:46:02,560 --> 00:46:09,600 not giving someone enough time to run up to it, grab it and throw it back before detonation. 407 00:46:10,800 --> 00:46:15,600 Man, what a good point. I ran across that on War History Online. 408 00:46:15,600 --> 00:46:22,000 That's very cool, Rob. I love that one. This is stuff you wouldn't think about. Only people in 409 00:46:22,000 --> 00:46:26,480 the know would know. And then once you explain it, you're like, oh yeah, I get it now. So wow. Thank 410 00:46:26,480 --> 00:46:30,480 you, Rob. All right. Let's go ahead and take our... Oh, go ahead. What? 411 00:46:31,600 --> 00:46:32,800 All right. Thank you, Rob. 412 00:46:32,800 --> 00:46:37,200 Okay. Let's go ahead and take our second break and we'll come right back with more stuff. How's that 413 00:46:37,200 --> 00:46:39,440 sound? Sounds good. 414 00:46:39,440 --> 00:46:44,880 All righty. As much fun as an electric can opener to the scrotum, 415 00:46:44,880 --> 00:46:46,640 two douchebags and a microphone. 416 00:46:50,640 --> 00:46:56,080 The apocalypse just happened. You don't know what to do. You don't know where to go. 417 00:46:56,800 --> 00:46:58,560 But we can tell you what you can eat. 418 00:47:01,120 --> 00:47:06,320 Okay. It's post-apocalypse and you're walking down the barren wasteland that used to be a city. 419 00:47:07,040 --> 00:47:12,800 You find an old can of beans lying in the middle of the road, but you do not have a can opener. 420 00:47:12,800 --> 00:47:20,000 What you do then is you find a patch of concrete. You rub the top of the can for five minutes. 421 00:47:20,640 --> 00:47:25,200 Then you go to the middle of the can and squeeze it and it should pop right open. 422 00:47:33,200 --> 00:47:36,400 Oh Lord, that man just saw a puppy in half. 423 00:47:36,400 --> 00:47:42,560 Hey there. Don't worry. I have a clown nose. 424 00:47:45,520 --> 00:47:49,040 Oh no. That drunk guy just hit my child. 425 00:47:49,920 --> 00:47:52,960 It's okay. I have a clown nose. 426 00:47:54,160 --> 00:47:59,840 Clown nose. Just put one on and you can do anything. Want to run for office? Murder people 427 00:47:59,840 --> 00:48:04,240 in public? Just grab a clown nose and bam, everyone laughs. 428 00:48:04,240 --> 00:48:08,240 Clown noses are sold at gag stores online and pedophile conventions. Grab one today and make magic happen. 429 00:48:09,280 --> 00:48:13,280 Have you ever wondered where something came about? Have you ever looked at something and said, 430 00:48:13,280 --> 00:48:20,240 I wonder what the origin of that is? Well, so have we. That's why we give you the origin of. 431 00:48:21,280 --> 00:48:27,760 This is the origin of beer. The first beer in the world was brewed by the ancient Chinese around the 432 00:48:27,760 --> 00:48:34,640 year 7000 BC. It is known there as Kui. In the West, however, the process was recognized as beer 433 00:48:34,640 --> 00:48:41,440 brewing began in the Mesopotamia at the Gadan Tempent settlement now in modern day Iran between 3500 434 00:48:41,440 --> 00:48:49,680 and 3100 BC. It's not entirely clear whether he had a light version or even a craft beer version of 435 00:48:49,680 --> 00:48:57,920 this. Just saying. And now, deep thoughts with Mark. 436 00:48:57,920 --> 00:49:17,440 I wonder what my dog named me. I may never know. 437 00:49:17,440 --> 00:49:24,800 Two douchebags and microphone on Mark. I'm on the up. 438 00:49:26,160 --> 00:49:30,560 Got some good news if you like McDonald's and if you like cheap food. 439 00:49:32,960 --> 00:49:37,920 McDonald's reportedly planning to launch a five dollar meal deal in the U.S. to attract customers 440 00:49:37,920 --> 00:49:44,000 deterred by rising fast food prices. According to a source who spoke to Bloomberg anonymously, 441 00:49:44,000 --> 00:49:48,160 the value meal will offer a choice between McChicken or a Mcdouble accompanied by fries 442 00:49:48,160 --> 00:49:53,120 and a drink. That's a good idea because McDonald's has gotten crazy expensive. 443 00:49:54,800 --> 00:50:00,720 I mean, I go by there and get a Mccafé on the way to work and that's usually all I get from there 444 00:50:00,720 --> 00:50:03,360 because I don't really necessarily care for their food that much, do you? 445 00:50:04,960 --> 00:50:10,320 No, not really. It's not like it used to be. It may be my taste buds but I don't think, I just 446 00:50:10,320 --> 00:50:19,440 think it doesn't taste the same but anyhow. The value meal is like 12 bucks now and when you go 447 00:50:19,440 --> 00:50:25,200 to a sit down restaurant and get a much better meal for 12 bucks at most places. I mean, I'm 448 00:50:25,200 --> 00:50:29,840 talking about cafes and stuff. You know, you wouldn't go into a fancy restaurant and get that 449 00:50:29,840 --> 00:50:37,600 but you would go into a place that has really good food and get a really good meal for that same 450 00:50:37,600 --> 00:50:42,400 price and I'm pretty sure it's hurting customer base because people are like, you know, I'll just 451 00:50:42,400 --> 00:50:47,280 go in and I'll just go in somewhere and get some good food and not pay these high prices for fast 452 00:50:47,280 --> 00:50:57,280 food. So anyhow, go ahead Rob if you got something. Yes, I do. Alrighty. I have one of your favorites. 453 00:50:57,280 --> 00:51:11,200 Oh, American songwriter? Yes, sir. Excellent. Three bands that Jimi Hendrix dislike. Cool. 454 00:51:12,560 --> 00:51:18,560 Given that Jimi Hendrix is an undisputed rock king not getting his stamp of approval, 455 00:51:18,560 --> 00:51:28,320 must have stunk. He wasn't afraid to share his opinion on his fellow musicians good and bad. 456 00:51:28,320 --> 00:51:38,080 The first band, Pink Floyd. Hendrix was known for being a front runner in psychedelia. 457 00:51:38,880 --> 00:51:44,080 When thinking of trippy summer of love music, Hendrix often comes to mind. 458 00:51:44,080 --> 00:51:51,680 Pink Floyd was also known for the foray into the weirder, most experimental sides of the music. 459 00:51:51,680 --> 00:52:00,160 Some might call their band, their brand of music, a form of psychedelia as well. Hendrix did not agree. 460 00:52:00,160 --> 00:52:07,520 Hendrix had a problem with bands branding themselves as psychedelic, but were really only adding 461 00:52:07,520 --> 00:52:16,320 flashy light elements to their set and playing classic rock. Hendrix characterized Pink Floyd 462 00:52:17,120 --> 00:52:26,480 as one such band. I heard they have beautiful lights, but they don't sound like Method, he once said. 463 00:52:28,640 --> 00:52:34,080 Okay, I never viewed Pink Floyd as psychedelic either. I mean, I like their music. It doesn't 464 00:52:34,080 --> 00:52:42,560 sound like he did though, but they were really kind of blues. David Gilmour had been those notes 465 00:52:42,560 --> 00:52:47,680 like he did and everything. I never once thought they were psychedelic. Other people might have, 466 00:52:47,680 --> 00:52:53,600 but I didn't. That's just because most people, to me, most people attributed acid taking and 467 00:52:54,240 --> 00:52:59,200 drug taking with Pink Floyd, right? Right. And I think that's why I got the psychedelic term, 468 00:52:59,200 --> 00:53:08,000 I'm not for sure. Yeah, so anyhow, go ahead, Rob. Okay, the second band, Led Zeppelin. 469 00:53:09,440 --> 00:53:16,080 While Hendrix did submit to saying that Jimmy Page was a good guitarist, which is high praise 470 00:53:16,080 --> 00:53:22,560 coming from him, he didn't think much of the other members of Led Zeppelin. His main commentary on 471 00:53:22,560 --> 00:53:30,080 the band was that they rarely crossed his mind. Somehow that feels like a harder hit than dragging 472 00:53:30,080 --> 00:53:37,680 their artistry with specifics. But Zeppelin did borrow from others, renowned drummer, 473 00:53:38,400 --> 00:53:45,440 Harmon of Peace once said. Jimmy Hendrix personally told me that he didn't like Zeppelin 474 00:53:45,440 --> 00:53:53,680 because they were like excess baggage and that they stole from everybody. Huh, I've heard that. 475 00:53:55,200 --> 00:54:09,360 Wow. I don't know. Lastly, Jim Morrison and the Doors. Okay. While the first two bands might have 476 00:54:09,360 --> 00:54:16,800 received flack from Hendrix because of their musicianship, his new site for Jim Morrison was 477 00:54:16,800 --> 00:54:25,760 more personal. As the story goes, Morrison and Hendrix play together in a packed club. Morrison 478 00:54:26,320 --> 00:54:32,400 deeply enablerated, makes bolder gestures and generally made a mockery of Hendrix. 479 00:54:32,400 --> 00:54:39,760 The guitar legend didn't take kindly to that. When Morrison tried to perform with Hendrix again, 480 00:54:40,320 --> 00:54:45,280 he reportedly said, that's okay fella, I can handle it myself. 481 00:54:50,800 --> 00:54:59,200 Wow. Yeah, he definitely spoke what was on his mind. I didn't know that, but you know, that's 482 00:54:59,200 --> 00:55:10,480 okay. Well, I mean, I get what he's saying. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I liked all the subjects that he 483 00:55:10,480 --> 00:55:14,560 talked about and I don't necessarily have a problem with, but I do understand what he was saying. 484 00:55:15,760 --> 00:55:19,520 All right. Thank you, Rob. That was really good. You're welcome. 485 00:55:22,000 --> 00:55:27,360 Let's see. Lay's new honey butter flavored potato chips have to hit Costco stores in the US for the 486 00:55:27,360 --> 00:55:34,960 first time ever. Like so many great Lay's flavors, the honey butter chips have previously been 487 00:55:34,960 --> 00:55:41,600 available in South Korea and Canada. We know we're scratching our heads too. Yes, Lay's and Pepsi Co 488 00:55:41,600 --> 00:55:49,280 are the US based companies and yet we get out of so many, many great lunches. It doesn't make any 489 00:55:49,280 --> 00:55:56,000 sense why they always snub the US on these treats. I don't know. I mean, it sounds okay to me, but 490 00:55:56,000 --> 00:56:02,000 not that great. Anyhow, I don't know. To me, it doesn't sound really that good. What do you think? 491 00:56:02,000 --> 00:56:10,480 Honey butter chips? No, not really. I don't know what the big deal is really. All right, Rob, what 492 00:56:10,480 --> 00:56:19,360 do you got for us? Okay. The 1982 action classic First Blood occupies a unique place in cinematic 493 00:56:19,360 --> 00:56:26,960 history. Even compared to the other films within its franchise. While the Rambo sequels turn 494 00:56:26,960 --> 00:56:35,920 Sylvester Stallone's particular protagonist into a patriotic heroic action hero who fought to 495 00:56:35,920 --> 00:56:43,200 preserve the American way of life, the first entry in the series is a grounded character drama about 496 00:56:43,200 --> 00:56:52,640 trauma and loss. The film served as a representation of post-traumatic stress disorder that a generation 497 00:56:52,640 --> 00:57:00,320 of soldiers dealt with in the aftermath of the Vietnam War. While fictionized, First Blood tackled 498 00:57:00,320 --> 00:57:08,800 a series systematic issues about the mistreatment of veterans. While Stallone played a major role in 499 00:57:08,800 --> 00:57:14,960 shaping the direction and tone of both First Blood and sequels, the first entry in the series is 500 00:57:14,960 --> 00:57:23,120 based on the novel of the same name by author David Morel. The differences between the film and 501 00:57:23,120 --> 00:57:33,680 the novel are exquisite. The novel features even more brutality, a much darker tone, and more time 502 00:57:33,680 --> 00:57:41,600 dedicated to examining Rambo's past. The realism and sensitivity within Morel's reigns is 503 00:57:41,600 --> 00:57:51,200 understandable as First Blood was loosely inspired by the story of the World War II veteran 504 00:57:51,200 --> 00:58:05,600 Audie Murphy. Born in 1925, Audie Murphy was an American soldier who received national recognition 505 00:58:07,600 --> 00:58:13,440 for his service in World War II. Like many young Americans, Murphy joined the fight against the 506 00:58:13,440 --> 00:58:21,120 Nazis after the bombing of Pearl Harbor in 1941. While he was too young at the time to officially 507 00:58:21,120 --> 00:58:28,560 enlist in the military service, his sister opened falsified records so that he could serve his 508 00:58:28,560 --> 00:58:36,560 nation. Despite being turned down for service by both the Marine Corps and the Navy, Murphy was 509 00:58:36,560 --> 00:58:43,360 able to enlist in the United States Army. He served in many of the most critical campaigns of the 510 00:58:43,360 --> 00:58:55,600 conflict, including the 1943 invasion of Sicily, the 1944 Battle of Angio, and the successful 511 00:58:55,600 --> 00:59:04,400 liberation of France. By the time that Jeremy and Japan both officially surrendered to the Allied 512 00:59:04,400 --> 00:59:14,000 forces in 1945, Murphy had received every Bauer award allocated by the US Army and additional 513 00:59:14,000 --> 00:59:38,480 honors from Belgian and French services. So yeah, John Rambo was supposed to be betraying him. 514 00:59:44,000 --> 00:59:57,440 So yeah, that's what that movie was about. It actually brought some awareness to it. 515 00:59:58,480 --> 00:59:59,280 I remember that. 516 01:00:01,200 --> 01:00:05,040 All right, I think we're going to cut this program down because I'm having a coughing fit 517 01:00:05,760 --> 01:00:10,480 and my allergies are out of control and it's just not working out. 518 01:00:10,480 --> 01:00:17,120 I'm gonna yeah. So anyhow, we got most of it in. I mean, so all right, Rob, thank you for joining 519 01:00:17,120 --> 01:00:26,560 us. Oh, hello, Opal. Hello, Jimmy. Hello, Ricky. Love you guys. Thank you all for joining us. Have 520 01:00:26,560 --> 01:00:36,800 a good night. Night assholes. Oh, no, looks like the show's over kids. Mark has explosive diarrhea 521 01:00:36,800 --> 01:00:43,200 and can't afford a wireless mic. Fear not assholes. They'll be back invading your ear holes soon.