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And now it's time for...

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The Daily Deucebag Pledge.

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Here at Two Deucebags in a Microphone, we don't stand behind our journalistic integrity.

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Go ahead and assume we got the story wrong. At least we admit it.

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Not like all those other guys. We can and will lie if it makes the story better.

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Two Deucebags and a Microphone.

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We Talk.

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Is This.

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Invisible ass paddlings, new douche flavors and horrible pranks?

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The fuck is wrong with these guys?

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Hey there fuckstick. You're just in time for brand new feature news nobody gives a shit about.

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A man in Colorado is recovering nicely after being bit by a rat that was hiding in his toilet.

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Next up, Things Overheard in Hell.

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Well that new handsome CD is just a laptop. Uh huh.

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Two Deucebags and a Microphone in an effort to keep everything fresh. We offer you...

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First world problems.

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Oh shit. Look at that drive thru wine.

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Surely wouldn't expect me to actually have to go in.

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This sucks.

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Two Deucebags and a Microphone. I'm Mark.

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And I'm Rob.

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Hey Rob, how you doing this evening?

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I'm doing really good. Doing really good.

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Good. Good. Everything's going good here.

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You know just family odds and ends and stuff like that.

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Like I was kind of describing to you before.

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You know what do you do man? You know parents and relatives get older.

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You know we'll be there one of these days.

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And unfortunately like I said before, father time carries a baseball bat and mortality is a bitch.

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The end. The end.

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Yes. So I've also got some ass paddlins but we may not get to them because we've got so much stuff.

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And we still have the nipple yank and the ass cheek bite and the nuts and the nut flick coming up too.

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But we'll probably do that at the end.

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Anyhow, so alright.

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Rashe Rice. I'm sure you heard more about him.

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Right?

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Yes I do.

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Yep. Not very good either. He strikes again.

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Nope.

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Rashe is being investigated for an alleged assault.

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An unnamed person received facial lacerations and other injuries alleged at the hands of our buddy Rashe.

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And this was in a nightclub down in Texas.

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Well Rob, I'm getting pretty tired of this guy making headlines like this. What about you?

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It was actually Dallas. It was a Dallas nightclub.

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Dallas again?

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Same town where the accident happened.

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He needs to get the fuck away from there.

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Well, you know what? He can get into trouble up here too and he'll find the wrong crowd it sounds like.

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This guy needs to get his shit together or he's not going to have a second year in the NFL. It's that simple.

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My son was talking to me and I walked out and he said, Dad, why don't they just go ahead and get rid of it?

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Well, I'm going to go into that.

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I'm going to go into that Rob and here's my take on it and I want to hear what you think about it and we're going to do like we have been.

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I like the Mahomes headlines, you know, such as charity events or friendly golf tournaments with other talent from the NFL or other sports.

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You know, when do the Chiefs throw in the towel?

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When do you decide to make a statement?

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When does it become a sideshow and a and players doubt his commitment to the game and winning the Chiefs are walking a fine line right now between horrible PR and this possibly disturbing the team's focus.

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You see, the problem is, Rashid Rice is a huge talent, but so was Kareem Hunt.

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Kareem Hunt was one of the best backs in the NFL.

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And they let him go, but they let him go for lying.

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Now, this thing's a little bit different because this is a guy that seemingly cannot clean up his act.

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So to me, the lying thing, OK, yeah, that was bad.

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But this is more serious to me because this is a serious character flaw in my opinion.

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And this is this is serious stuff that he's doing.

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It's not just playing around. This is stuff that will land you in jail and or prison, right?

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Yeah, yeah, it will.

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Yeah, I'm now kind of leaning towards if he if he's found guilty, the Chiefs are doing their own suspension to send a clear message that we do not employ people that do such acts without consequences.

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What do you think?

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Like, do you think that like maybe the Chiefs ought to employ their own suspension to make a statement?

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Yeah, I'll explain it.

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They make their suspension first before anybody else.

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Yeah, say they go, OK, this is this is bullshit.

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We're tired of it and we're suspending him for the year or whatever.

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OK, let's say that if Phil comes up later and says we're going to suspend him for four games, the Chiefs come right back and go, that's not good enough for us.

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We're suspending him eight games.

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I think whatever the league does, the Chiefs need to do twice, twice as much.

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I think a full year off by the Chiefs with an asterisk that one more incident in your history, but not release him, just put him in purgatory for as long as possible so the enemy doesn't cherry pick him and use him against us eventually.

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Agreed?

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Like, yes, yes, I agree.

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Yeah, anyone could clean up their act after they get, you know, they have a moment of clarity.

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They're lying in the ditch, holding their head going, fuck, I had it all made and I pissed it all away.

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And then all of a sudden the Buffalo Bulls come up and go, hey, Rashee, we know you had some hard times, but we're going to work with you.

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We're going to rehabilitate you and you're going to come back.

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Then the next thing you know, he's catching touchdown passes and beating our ass.

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So I think that something like the Chiefs, number one, I think they need to take matters into their own hands and say, we're tired of this and we're going to show you how much we're tired of this.

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We don't care how talented this guy is.

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He is not only on notice, but he's also getting a hell of a suspension, a worse one than the NFL from the Chiefs because we're sick of this and he's not off the hook either.

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He is on double fucking double probation.

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And if he just flinches the wrong way, you put him in purgatory.

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It's like, OK, you're suspended for a while and we'll figure out what we're going to do with you later.

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You know, they got him for five years, right?

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So, you know, I do believe that there's ways of hiding him and just flat out making an example out of his behavior.

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You know, I'll have to look up the suspension rules to see what exactly what I think could be enacted.

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You know, you get bumping the third string.

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I like that idea, too. I like that idea a lot, Rob.

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So, OK, let's say at first you're like, OK, you got nine games off and when you come back, you're going to have to earn everything.

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We don't care what you did last year.

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We don't care anything. We don't care how you look in practice.

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Here's what the problem is right here is we don't trust you and people we don't trust.

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They're not first stringers.

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You know, and as far as that goes, if I was the chiefs, I would go out and find a receiver that's good.

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And they can get us through the season and see if worthy can be the receiver they think he is.

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And then they got a tight end to see how these guys respond.

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See if you can coach Sky more up a little bit more, see if Kudarius Tony can come back and do anything.

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So I think there's other options that you can look at or possibly even a trade.

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So I think right now you have to buffer what you have.

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You're like right now, if I was the chiefs, I would plan on Rashi not being there next year.

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No, I wouldn't plan on him either.

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Yeah. And I would go ahead.

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He should be too tied up and poor and everything else.

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And not only that, somewhere, somehow you have to make an example out of people.

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Kareem Hunt was made an example of.

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I know people dog Andy Reid and say he's not a disciplinary guy.

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Well, this isn't just an Andy Reid situation.

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This is a Brett Veach situation.

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This is a Clark Hunt situation.

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And this is also a Patrick Mahomes situation.

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And the reason is, is this right here.

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The integrity of the team is at stake in my opinion.

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If you let this guy keep getting away with shit like this, you're going to be like, yeah, we know they won the Super Bowl.

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But man, you know what? Sooner or later, this is going to implode.

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All great teams. Once you let a cancer get in, the whole body's full of cancer and then eventually dies.

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So is Rashi Rice possibly this cancer?

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I don't yet to be seen.

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I think right now he's a radical cell.

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He's a free radical cell.

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He could turn into cancer.

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And they need to figure this out.

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They need to figure this out.

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Not yesterday, but right now, not tomorrow, but right now.

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You know, yesterday he did what he did yesterday, right?

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And that was the wreck.

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So then this coming up, it depends on what is said about this.

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If it was a false accusation, then forget it.

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OK, you know, you let the league deal with it and then you deal with it afterwards.

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But if this did happen and it's been proven and he has to face charges over this,

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then I think you're going to have to seriously start wondering if he's a cancer that needs to be cut out of the body per se.

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So anyhow, we can we can move on from that.

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I think we probably said about all we could.

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We're both on the same page, right?

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This guy's getting out of control and something needs to happen.

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So anyhow, study about people in restaurant ordering.

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People do feel pressured to pick them.

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We covered this before about how millennials and and and zeers are freaking out because of they don't have enough money.

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And let's say they have twenty five bucks and their entree is twenty three and they don't have enough for a tip.

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And they're like, oh, shit, you know, I can't really afford to be out.

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And then if everyone gets drinks, I don't know what to do.

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So, you know, and they have a real a real fear of restaurant ordering

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and also being put on the spot and trying to figure out what covers your budget.

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But everybody, it turns out they feel enormous pressured to pick their meal with it, you know,

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and and to get people in and out as quickly as possible is the whole attitude of the of the whole restaurant dining situation anymore, isn't it?

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I mean, they they do more volume.

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They try to get as many people in and out there as they can.

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They try to get as many to go orders as they can.

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So it's not really as much of a relaxed environment as it used to be.

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So people feel that 12 minutes is the time they actually need or possibly a bit longer.

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But usually they get half of that. They get about six minutes to order.

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So I think that here's an idea that I think I have.

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OK, you don't talk to a waiter at first at all. You come in there and you have an iPad.

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Now, this may not work with boomers.

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This will work with exers. Exers have enough enough of a computer background that this will work.

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Boomers probably wouldn't do it unless you ultra simplify simplify it maybe.

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But you give them this iPad or maybe a big screen that you and then you go in there.

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And this isn't a fine restaurant.

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This is your average restaurant down the road.

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You go in there and you sit there and you look over everything and you go ahead and order your waters and your drinks on there.

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You go ahead and just talk for a little bit and you kind of look the menu over.

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And then when you're ready for the actual order, you buzz the waiter.

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It has a big waiter buzzer buzzer on there.

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And I think that would work pretty good.

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And yeah, and it's like, OK, everyone knows what they want.

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OK, good. Then the waiter doesn't have to sit there and stare you down.

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And no one's looking at you while you're going, I'll take the tender.

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No, no, no. Hang on. How's the meatloaf here?

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It's OK. Oh, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

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What's the chef salad here? You know, everybody does that right.

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And it takes time. And the waiters over there going, fuck man, here goes my tips.

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I'm sitting here waiting on this guy to order and everyone else is waiting for their pasta and waiting for their margarita.

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You know, so I think that that's a possible way to do it.

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There's other ways, too. So anyhow, that was something that I saw that I just wanted to touch base with.

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Not really go into that much. What do you think, Rob?

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You think that sounds like a pretty good plan, maybe?

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Yeah, I do. I think that would be a real good plan.

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OK. Well, while we're talking about rest of the day's technology, why not?

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Yeah. Yeah. And also, the waiter doesn't have to waste time until you push that button.

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And then when you push that button, what you're saying is, all right, we have our orders ready.

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We know what our orders are. So now you can come over here and that will free up the waiter for a lot of time right there

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from standing there while people are going around the table when, you know, and I do that myself.

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You know, you think you know what you want and then someone orders something, you go, oh, shit, I didn't see that on the menu.

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Hang on, hang on, hang on, you know.

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And that would give them more time to help other customers feel like check on their drinks or whatever.

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Yeah. You know? Yeah.

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Be better to everybody else.

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Yes. It will free up the waiter immensely.

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And then you have bussers and people like that that can run drinks.

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You have drink runners. You have bar runners, all that stuff.

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So I think that might be a possible solution.

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And anyhow, a lot of people don't go out anymore because of those pressures.

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They don't like it. They're like, you know what? It's too much pressure. I'm just going to order in.

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So anyhow, while we're talking about restaurants, a Maryville chef has been caught shoplifting meat from a Knoxville Kroger store.

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They believe he's been doing this for quite a while.

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He was stealing to get this, Rob.

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We sell his entrees at his restaurant.

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The chef owned a restaurant and he was in Kroger stealing meat, allegedly, and stealing it for a long time and reselling it at his restaurant.

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Oh, yeah. Yeah.

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So I don't know if they're going to hem him up on everything or not.

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But I mean, I thought that was like, wow.

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Rob, have you ever heard of the white cut sandwich?

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No.

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The white cut sandwich is all the rage on the Internet. Look it up when you get a chance.

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But anyhow, a guy did this and it was posted on TikTok and other platforms.

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It shows a man cutting his sandwich in a wide pattern to make it three interesting slices of sandwich.

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People believe that this is a perfect way to eat a sandwich because you have three rectangles or pizza slices like on a sandwich.

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So basically what you're doing is you're making this sandwich into like pizza slices by taking and cutting a Y into it.

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You see what I mean? You got the yeah.

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And people say that this is a perfect way to eat a sandwich.

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And anyhow, I'm like, really? Do people really put that much thought into how they're going to cut their sandwiches?

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You know, if it's that big, I cut it in half, smash it down and I'm good. Right.

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What about you?

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Yeah. Yeah, I just smash it.

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Yeah. And if I worked at a restaurant, you know, and someone goes, I want my sandwich wide cut, I'm going to make damn sure and not why cut that son of a bitch.

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Fuck you, snob. So anyhow, that's why we give you knives at the table.

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Exactly. You cut it yourself, asshole.

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And if I have to do it, then I expect a 30 percent tip.

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Other than that, eat a bowl of shit with flakes. Yeah.

225
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So anyhow, and then finally here, Ozzy's work with the best guitarist ever. Right. Agreed.

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Yeah. Randy Rhodes, of course, who was groundbreaking.

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You know, he was the new American hard rock metal sound.

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Van Halen came up with this new style finger tapping, actually doing chords that are way away from each other on the scale that things that are like when you're not used to it and you learn crazy train or something or something that Zach Wilde does or even Jake Lee.

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You're stretching your fingers out so much you don't think you can ever do it.

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You know, so he worked with the, you know, it's very talented stuff. The rhythm is very talented. Everything about it is very advanced.

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So anyhow, and then the very underrated Brad Gillis, who took over Randy Rhodes after he was killed in that plane wreck.

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And, you know, he had to learn these intricate songs, these very complicated songs in like three days.

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Because they had to keep their touring going because if not, they're going to owe a lot of money and they're just starting out this diary of a mad man.

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They still didn't make a fortune yet. They're still trying to get, you know, trying to get established, trying to make money.

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You know, I read a couple of Ozzy books and when he left Sabbath, he was broke.

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You know, they were allegedly ripped off by their managers.

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And then their last album, Never Say Die, that was recorded with Ozzy.

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They spent all this money recording it and made virtually nothing because it flopped.

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So, you know, he was out of money. He was broke.

240
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So anyhow, you know, he had to keep this tour going.

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So they found Brad Gillis of Night Ranger and he was just starting Night Ranger, but they talked him into filling the rest of the tour.

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But they would not, you know, he would not commit to it because he was committed to Night Ranger.

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And you know what? It did great. So he probably made the right choice there.

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And then it went to J.K. Lee. J.K. Lee was very talented.

245
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And then eventually to Zach Wilde, who was just insanely talented. Agreed?

246
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Right.

247
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He's also worked with others, Eric Clapton, Jeff Beck, Joe Holmes, Gus G. and others.

248
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He's worked with virtually all these of the upper echelon guitarist.

249
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So before all of this was Tony Iommi, right?

250
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Right.

251
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Ozzy was recently asked, I think it was on the Madhouse Chronicles with Billy Morrison, the DJ slash guitarist musician guy, and actually one of his best friends, I guess.

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He was asked, you know, who was the best guitarist he ever worked with?

253
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He said it was Tony Iommi. Out of all those people, right?

254
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Ozzy believes that Tony Iommi was the best guitarist he worked with out of all of those names that I just mentioned.

255
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From Zach Wilde to Randy Rhoades to J.K. Lee to Brad Gillis to Eric Clapton to Jeff Beck.

256
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All of these guitarists. He says that Tony Iommi is the best.

257
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He went on to say Iommi was the best guitarist ever. Not just his favorite, but he said Iommi was the best guitarist ever.

258
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He went on to say that Iommi was the best. He explained that American guitarists play too fast.

259
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He also explained that Tony had an insane gift of riffs that had iconic sounds and not overplay in the song.

260
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And I felt this way for a long time. I mean, I love Randy Rhoades, I love Zach Wilde, J.K. Lee, Brad Gillis, all that.

261
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Okay, Brad Gillis doesn't really overplay though. If you hear him in Night Ranger, he fits the song.

262
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So we can't really say that about Brad Gillis, but I think Ozzy has a really good point. I've always kind of felt this.

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If you do too much, it cheapens the song. It takes away from the meaning of the song.

264
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Good point.

265
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Yeah, Iommi, he could have added all this stuff. Mick Mars, one of my favorite guitarists, he could have added all this stuff.

266
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But they didn't because the song was what it was supposed to be and they weren't interested in flash dazzling anybody.

267
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And that flash and dazzle that was so good in the 80s, the Eddie Van Halen's and all that, it turned into the mechanical shit I can't stand now.

268
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Every guitarist has no feeling, but they're so fast and precise and never miss a lick, never miss a finger, never miss a chord, but it's machine.

269
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It has no feeling. It's fast, it's quick, it's precise and that's it.

270
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Like John Five.

271
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Like all these other guitarists that are so good right now, the only one that's different is Tabochi.

272
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Tabochi specializes in fast rhythms that are lead like rhythms. He's fine, but he's not that popular.

273
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I was lucky enough to see him only because I went to Guitar Gods, I forgot the name of it, it's something else, but it's like five of the best guitarists on earth.

274
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And I think I spoke about it before on this show.

275
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Yeah, I think you have.

276
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Yeah, yeah, but this is like Nuno Bettencourt, Zach Wild, Tabochi, let's see, Inge Weimelmstein and Steve Vai.

277
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Very good show. Generation X was the name of it.

278
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And Tabochi is different because he doesn't bother, he's really good at leads and they have a lot of feeling, they're just fast so it kind of cheapens it.

279
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So I think Ozzy is absolutely correct on that. Your thoughts Rob?

280
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I read that story also and I agree, I agree. Tony just put stuff into it. He took his time with it.

281
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Yeah, and also he has a knack for a song, agreed?

282
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Yes, he does.

283
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Not only can he write that iconic riff, but he knows what not to do.

284
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Me and Topher was talking about this yesterday, kind of like John Bonham.

285
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Jason Bonham, his son, is a much better guitarist, but John Bonham sounded better.

286
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Because it wasn't necessarily what John Bonham did, it was what he didn't do.

287
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He did those odd beats, he didn't add anything, he didn't go crazy.

288
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He just sounded like John Bonham and he sounded like Led Zeppelin needed him to sound.

289
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So he was a fantastic drummer because of what he didn't do.

290
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Now you have the flip side of Jason Bonham who is a fantastic drummer because of what he does do.

291
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And to us that was the best example of what Tony Iommi does if you take it to drums and percussion.

292
00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:41,000
Another one is bass, Michael Anthony.

293
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Michael Anthony is so good at that heartbeat bass, but he's not the best bassist, not even close to it.

294
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But he always sounds great.

295
00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:57,000
Because he doesn't need to add anything, he does what he does in the song and it sounds great.

296
00:25:57,000 --> 00:26:00,000
And he's not worried about any flash or dazzle.

297
00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:04,000
He's not worried about Billy Sheehan stuff or nothing like that.

298
00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:08,000
So anyhow, let's go ahead and take our first break and we're going to come back with your stuff.

299
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How does that sound?

300
00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:11,000
Alright, sounds good.

301
00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:13,000
Alright, we'll be right back.

302
00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:16,000
The apocalypse just happened.

303
00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:18,000
You don't know what to do.

304
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You don't know where to go.

305
00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:23,000
But we can tell you what you can eat.

306
00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:29,000
On most of these apocalypse series, we tell you what plants you can eat in case of an apocalypse.

307
00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:32,000
And you have to go out to your yard for food.

308
00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:38,000
Well, this one is going to explain to you the plants you may be aware of to not eat.

309
00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:49,000
Plants that could be toxic usually might have milky white sap, thorns, spines, or fine hairs, or leaves or stems.

310
00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:52,000
Pods with bulbs, beans, or seeds.

311
00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:57,000
Stems or trunks that have an almond scent.

312
00:26:57,000 --> 00:27:05,000
Three leaf foliage growth. Also be aware of intensely bitter or sappy flavor.

313
00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:10,000
Foliage reminiscent of dill, parsley, or carrot.

314
00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:14,000
Please remember to go to Cole's dressing room, wait five minutes, and scream,

315
00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:17,000
Hey, there's no toilet paper in here!

316
00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:29,000
Oh shit, what's that over there? Oh no, it's the island of horrible jokes!

317
00:27:29,000 --> 00:27:44,000
If I ever find that doctor that screwed up my limb replacement surgery, I will kill him with my bare hands.

318
00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:51,000
Hahahaha!

319
00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:54,000
You're all aware of the Amber Alert, right?

320
00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:57,000
Well, get rid of your disinfectants and rubber bedspreads, kids.

321
00:27:57,000 --> 00:28:00,000
It's the all-new Amber Heard Alert system.

322
00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:06,000
This fantastic early warning device helps one stay dry and rid of all those annoying mattress invoices.

323
00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:11,000
Simply hook up to Child Under Six or Psychopath and wait for the running water sound.

324
00:28:11,000 --> 00:28:14,000
This clever machine has three distinct settings.

325
00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:18,000
Babbling brooks, ocean waves, and roaring river for those close calls.

326
00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:27,000
Order today and get a free Cinnabon Renews It cartridge.

327
00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:32,000
Introducing Rob Rad's new book, How to Track Your Enemy by Seth.

328
00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:35,000
That's right, smell your enemy before they get you.

329
00:28:35,000 --> 00:28:40,000
Order this gem now and get a free virtual tour of Rob's secret bunker in Camdenton, Missouri.

330
00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:56,000
Also receive a free copy of his new book, How to Clean Raw Sewage for Food.

331
00:28:56,000 --> 00:29:03,000
And now, deep thoughts with Mark.

332
00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:10,000
Hmm, let's see, if a worm could talk, would it be argumentive?

333
00:29:10,000 --> 00:29:13,000
Hmph, I may never know.

334
00:29:13,000 --> 00:29:21,000
Tomorrow morning while grinding your coffee beans for your double mocha latte,

335
00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:24,000
remember to not get your genitals caught in the grinder.

336
00:29:24,000 --> 00:29:28,000
It really hurts, and who can afford plastic surgery?

337
00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:40,000
Take safe everyone!

338
00:29:40,000 --> 00:29:45,000
Hey look, I think we found land. Oh my god, I think we're safe.

339
00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:52,000
Oh no, it's the island of horrible jokes.

340
00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:58,000
NASA sent a satellite up into space to apologize to the aliens.

341
00:29:58,000 --> 00:30:01,000
It was called the Apollo G.

342
00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:26,000
Two douchebags and my convert, I'm Mark.

343
00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:28,000
And I'm Rob.

344
00:30:28,000 --> 00:30:36,000
Alright Rob, as we said before the break, we're going to turn to you and hear what you want to talk about.

345
00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:49,000
Well, I ran across an article that, I always figured peanut butter and jelly was not good for you.

346
00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:56,000
Well, peanut butter is full of protein, but I mean it's also full of calories and carbs, so yeah.

347
00:30:56,000 --> 00:31:05,000
Alright, well, here's seven things that can happen to your body if you eat peanut butter and jelly every day.

348
00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:12,000
First, you might be less stressed out.

349
00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:17,000
Yep, we're starting the mental perk of eating peanut butter and jelly daily.

350
00:31:17,000 --> 00:31:21,000
The mind is part of the body after all.

351
00:31:21,000 --> 00:31:33,000
Eating the same thing daily offers predictability, which might be your jam, especially if peanut butter and jelly is involved.

352
00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:36,000
Okay, wow.

353
00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:38,000
Go on because...

354
00:31:38,000 --> 00:31:42,000
If you're used to eating one every day.

355
00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:44,000
So it has nothing to do with the...

356
00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:46,000
You know, you don't have to worry about it.

357
00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:50,000
It has nothing to do with the nutrients, is that what they're saying? It's a mind thing?

358
00:31:50,000 --> 00:31:52,000
Well, no, this is a list.

359
00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:54,000
Okay.

360
00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:56,000
They mentioned like seven different things.

361
00:31:56,000 --> 00:31:58,000
Okay.

362
00:31:58,000 --> 00:32:03,000
That was less stress.

363
00:32:03,000 --> 00:32:08,000
And next up, you also might get bored.

364
00:32:08,000 --> 00:32:16,000
While some create predictability, others lean into the whole variety as the spice of life idea.

365
00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:24,000
PB&J being as simple as it is, there's not much opportunity to mix things up.

366
00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:36,000
This could quickly lead to a sense of repetition, which you may not enjoy if you prefer more variety or excitement in your meals.

367
00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:38,000
Uh-huh.

368
00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:40,000
Okay, next.

369
00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:44,000
You'll probably stay full longer.

370
00:32:44,000 --> 00:32:52,000
Peanut butter may reduce cravings and actually help you consume fewer calories throughout the day.

371
00:32:52,000 --> 00:33:04,000
Peanut butter has both fiber and protein helping to keep you feeling full for longer, which can reduce unnecessary stacking later.

372
00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:05,000
Cool.

373
00:33:05,000 --> 00:33:12,000
And serving of peanut butter has more than 10 grams of protein and 2 grams of fiber.

374
00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:19,000
I knew it was good on that level. I just didn't know calorie-wise and carb-wise, but go ahead.

375
00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:23,000
They go into other things here.

376
00:33:23,000 --> 00:33:24,000
Okay.

377
00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:28,000
Your digestive system can improve.

378
00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:36,000
Speaking of fiber, peanut butter and jelly can keep your gut healthy and your bowel movements regular.

379
00:33:36,000 --> 00:33:47,000
Not only are peanuts high in fiber, but they also contain a good amount of myosin, which can help aid digestion.

380
00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:49,000
Okay.

381
00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:51,000
This is pretty cool. Go ahead.

382
00:33:51,000 --> 00:33:52,000
Wow.

383
00:33:52,000 --> 00:33:55,000
Yeah.

384
00:33:55,000 --> 00:34:01,000
The next one, you may experience blood sugar fluctuations.

385
00:34:01,000 --> 00:34:02,000
Uh-huh.

386
00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:18,000
So, uh, such as people with pre-diabetes or diabetes, you may need to pay attention to the impact PB&J has on blood glucose levels.

387
00:34:18,000 --> 00:34:30,000
A pattern could emerge with daily consumption, cluing you into the unique way your body responds to the sugar and carbohydrates in PB&J.

388
00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:43,000
This might be helpful for predicting an increase and thus indicating a change is needed for medications or insulin.

389
00:34:43,000 --> 00:34:44,000
Wow.

390
00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:47,000
So that one was one of those be-bitter things.

391
00:34:47,000 --> 00:34:48,000
Uh-huh.

392
00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:52,000
Next, weight gain is a possibility.

393
00:34:52,000 --> 00:34:53,000
Oh, I bet.

394
00:34:53,000 --> 00:35:03,000
Weight gain isn't always a bad thing or cause for concern. However, it could be something some people may need to watch out for.

395
00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:10,000
And unfortunately, eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches every day could drop weight gain.

396
00:35:10,000 --> 00:35:18,000
Well, you know, real quick, Rob, okay, you know that like fighters use peanut butter to bulk up.

397
00:35:18,000 --> 00:35:24,000
They use that protein with the workout and they burn more calories than they take in.

398
00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:26,000
So peanut butter is fine for them.

399
00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:31,000
So I think it depends on your metabolism and how much exercise you get, right?

400
00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:32,000
Right.

401
00:35:32,000 --> 00:35:33,000
Okay.

402
00:35:33,000 --> 00:35:34,000
It's what you do with it.

403
00:35:34,000 --> 00:35:37,000
Yeah, yeah, it can be good for you or bad.

404
00:35:37,000 --> 00:35:42,000
Doesn't do any good to take vitamins if you're not going to exercise type thing, you know.

405
00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:45,000
Yeah, yeah, yep.

406
00:35:45,000 --> 00:35:52,000
Okay, and lastly, you could experience a heart-healthy boost.

407
00:35:52,000 --> 00:35:53,000
Okay.

408
00:35:53,000 --> 00:36:01,000
Peanut butter contains fat, but its nutrient profile may also help protect your ticker.

409
00:36:01,000 --> 00:36:12,000
Okay, so is that the good fat, the LDL, not the LDL cholesterol, the good fat, you know what I'm talking about, there's good fat and bad fat that you can consume.

410
00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:13,000
Right.

411
00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:14,000
Okay.

412
00:36:14,000 --> 00:36:26,000
Healthy fats like mono-unsaturated and poly-unsaturated fats found in peanuts are beneficial against heart disease.

413
00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:37,000
One 2015 study suggested people with higher net intakes had lower risk of dying from heart disease.

414
00:36:37,000 --> 00:36:38,000
Oh, wow.

415
00:36:38,000 --> 00:36:39,000
Okay.

416
00:36:39,000 --> 00:36:44,000
I found this article pretty interesting.

417
00:36:44,000 --> 00:36:50,000
Also, there's stuff like, that's very interesting because I'm reading these articles on beets.

418
00:36:50,000 --> 00:36:56,000
I love beets and I didn't notice, beets are like one of the perfect foods for you.

419
00:36:56,000 --> 00:36:59,000
They actually help clean your arteries.

420
00:36:59,000 --> 00:37:05,000
They help dilate the arteries so it flushes the plaque out better.

421
00:37:05,000 --> 00:37:20,000
It's also a super food because it enhances your healing ability, your immune system and everything.

422
00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:22,000
I mean, do you know about beets?

423
00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:23,000
I think you do, don't you?

424
00:37:23,000 --> 00:37:24,000
I think we spoke about it before.

425
00:37:24,000 --> 00:37:25,000
Yeah.

426
00:37:25,000 --> 00:37:26,000
Maybe not on air, but yeah.

427
00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:27,000
Yeah, we have.

428
00:37:27,000 --> 00:37:31,000
But yeah, peanuts sound like it's kind of like similar to beets.

429
00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:35,000
You know, beets have a lot of sugar in them, but it's not processed sugar.

430
00:37:35,000 --> 00:37:37,000
So it's a little bit different.

431
00:37:37,000 --> 00:37:45,000
You know, it has the good cholesterol in it and it also has ingredients that dilate your arteries too.

432
00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:48,000
Just read about it if you're curious about it.

433
00:37:48,000 --> 00:37:52,000
Just read about it because it's a pretty interesting food.

434
00:37:52,000 --> 00:37:55,000
And I know they sell stuff like super beets and stuff like that.

435
00:37:55,000 --> 00:38:00,000
So you don't have to eat like 30 beets a day, which would like suck and add a lot of calories.

436
00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:03,000
You can get it condensed into a pill, I think, right?

437
00:38:03,000 --> 00:38:04,000
Right.

438
00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:06,000
So anyhow, thank you, Rob.

439
00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:07,000
That was a really good article.

440
00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:08,000
I appreciated that.

441
00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:09,000
Yeah.

442
00:38:09,000 --> 00:38:22,000
Well, I kind of hate to after that, Jim, I kind of hate to go into this, but I was reminded by a friend of mine about a prank that I pulled many years ago.

443
00:38:22,000 --> 00:38:26,000
I'd forgotten all about it, but it was a good one.

444
00:38:26,000 --> 00:38:34,000
So anyhow, my friend Phil, he worked at Burger King in a southern suburb of KC.

445
00:38:34,000 --> 00:38:36,000
Right, Rob?

446
00:38:36,000 --> 00:38:39,000
An extreme southern suburb of Kansas City area.

447
00:38:39,000 --> 00:38:40,000
Yeah.

448
00:38:40,000 --> 00:38:41,000
Yeah.

449
00:38:41,000 --> 00:38:47,000
He didn't have a car, so I would pick him up when I was headed home from my job.

450
00:38:47,000 --> 00:38:49,000
It was right on the way.

451
00:38:49,000 --> 00:38:54,000
He used to float me 10 bucks towards the old Dodge Dart with the reverse out.

452
00:38:54,000 --> 00:38:56,000
Remember that, bastard?

453
00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:57,000
Yeah.

454
00:38:57,000 --> 00:39:00,000
We used to have the Fred Flintstone hit, whatever we had to go in reverse.

455
00:39:00,000 --> 00:39:06,000
Everybody, stick your feet out and push it.

456
00:39:06,000 --> 00:39:13,000
Okay, I walked in one day and I noticed that someone was changing the electric billboard inside the lobby.

457
00:39:13,000 --> 00:39:18,000
This was done on the main counter right behind the special sign.

458
00:39:18,000 --> 00:39:23,000
The sign that said, like, today, two cheeseburgers for three bucks or whatever.

459
00:39:23,000 --> 00:39:24,000
It was right behind that sign.

460
00:39:24,000 --> 00:39:26,000
I saw the guy putting up another message.

461
00:39:26,000 --> 00:39:32,000
I realized I could reach it easily, you know, if everybody was, like, preoccupied.

462
00:39:32,000 --> 00:39:37,000
Okay, his manager I was friends with, he was an odd guy, but nice.

463
00:39:37,000 --> 00:39:43,000
He stuttered when angry and he made me laugh whenever he stuttered, you know.

464
00:39:43,000 --> 00:39:49,000
And anyhow, so I would say something to him to kind of screw with him and he'd go, hey, hey, hey, hey,

465
00:39:49,000 --> 00:39:54,000
and I'd be laughing at him and he'd get even angrier and make him stutter more and, you know,

466
00:39:54,000 --> 00:39:56,000
I was that kind of a bastard.

467
00:39:56,000 --> 00:40:03,000
So, you know, I was in there entertaining myself, getting him mad and listening to him stutter.

468
00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:06,000
You know, so one day I'm in there, I was waiting for Phil.

469
00:40:06,000 --> 00:40:09,000
When everyone was in back putting together a catering order,

470
00:40:09,000 --> 00:40:14,000
remember in the 80s, the late 80s when Burger King started pushing catering?

471
00:40:14,000 --> 00:40:15,000
Yeah.

472
00:40:15,000 --> 00:40:21,000
And they used to have the BK trucks and then, you know, like different functions like,

473
00:40:21,000 --> 00:40:26,000
okay, we're going to take 30 whoppers, 30 onion rings, 30 shakes, you know, stuff like that.

474
00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:30,000
Okay, so that's when they, right about the time they're pushing catering.

475
00:40:30,000 --> 00:40:37,000
So all the way back they're slapping together double cheeses or something for this catering gig at some hospital or something.

476
00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:46,000
So anyhow, I remember, you know, about the behind the counter of the billboard, right?

477
00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:54,000
So I changed the billboard to Rich Eats Ass, $1.99, forward to 10 p.m.

478
00:40:54,000 --> 00:40:57,000
So anyhow, no one noticed.

479
00:40:57,000 --> 00:41:02,000
Okay, so anyhow, for a forward 10 p.m. weeknights,

480
00:41:02,000 --> 00:41:08,000
so when I reached back to change the sign, I accidentally hit the alarm for the armed robbery.

481
00:41:08,000 --> 00:41:10,000
Oh my God.

482
00:41:10,000 --> 00:41:14,000
Yes. I can't believe I forgot all about this.

483
00:41:14,000 --> 00:41:19,000
And anyhow, unnamed guy, you know who you are, you didn't want me to give you even your first name.

484
00:41:19,000 --> 00:41:24,000
Thank you for reminding me about this because it was very scary for a little while.

485
00:41:24,000 --> 00:41:30,000
So they did have one camera at the register, but unbeknownst to me, it quit working.

486
00:41:30,000 --> 00:41:33,000
And they were waiting for it to be fixed.

487
00:41:33,000 --> 00:41:37,000
I was leaving with Phil when the cops surrounded the place.

488
00:41:37,000 --> 00:41:41,000
We got rounded up as well and everyone else.

489
00:41:41,000 --> 00:41:45,000
And I was holding my breath when the cops asked for the camera footage.

490
00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:47,000
And I was like, oh, fuck.

491
00:41:47,000 --> 00:41:50,000
And they're all talking about, yeah, if this was a prank, they're going to jail.

492
00:41:50,000 --> 00:41:52,000
You know, you can't do that.

493
00:41:52,000 --> 00:41:53,000
And I'm like, oh, shit.

494
00:41:53,000 --> 00:41:56,000
All I was doing was changing the billboard, but I accidentally hit this thing.

495
00:41:56,000 --> 00:41:58,000
And they're going to think I did it on purpose.

496
00:41:58,000 --> 00:42:01,000
I'm going to go to jail. So I'm like freaking out. Right.

497
00:42:01,000 --> 00:42:08,000
So anyhow, they go there, you know, and they're like, okay, we got to see the camera footage.

498
00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:09,000
And I'm holding my breath.

499
00:42:09,000 --> 00:42:12,000
And then finally they get the manager, the stuttering guy out there.

500
00:42:12,000 --> 00:42:15,000
And then finally he goes, oh, no, no, the camera's been broke.

501
00:42:15,000 --> 00:42:17,000
We don't have any footage at all, which was my friend.

502
00:42:17,000 --> 00:42:27,000
And I was like, so anyhow, then the next day in the morning, they noticed that, you know, Rich eats ass.

503
00:42:27,000 --> 00:42:31,000
Dollar 99, Monday through Friday, 4 to 10 PM sign.

504
00:42:31,000 --> 00:42:33,000
And he was furious.

505
00:42:33,000 --> 00:42:35,000
And he could never prove I'd done it.

506
00:42:35,000 --> 00:42:41,000
Even though we were friends, I'm sure he would have been very angry at me because I did that.

507
00:42:41,000 --> 00:42:46,000
And all the times I made him stutter because he was so mad, he still liked me.

508
00:42:46,000 --> 00:42:48,000
I don't know why.

509
00:42:48,000 --> 00:42:52,000
But anyhow, unnamed person, thank you for that reminder.

510
00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:55,000
So anyhow, Rob, you got something?

511
00:42:55,000 --> 00:42:58,000
Yeah, I do.

512
00:42:58,000 --> 00:43:01,000
I ran across an article.

513
00:43:01,000 --> 00:43:07,000
How many McDonald's are there in the world in 2024?

514
00:43:07,000 --> 00:43:09,000
I bet a lot.

515
00:43:09,000 --> 00:43:15,000
When it comes to fast food chains, name a more dominant force than McDonald's.

516
00:43:15,000 --> 00:43:19,000
The White Castle is the oldest burger fast food chain.

517
00:43:19,000 --> 00:43:26,000
McDonald's is arguably the most successful one with an empire that spans the globe.

518
00:43:26,000 --> 00:43:30,000
But exactly how many McDonald's are there in the world?

519
00:43:30,000 --> 00:43:38,000
Has the chain reached its, the sun never sets in the British Empire era or what?

520
00:43:38,000 --> 00:43:48,000
According to Statista, McDonald's had over 41,000 restaurant locations across the globe in 2023.

521
00:43:48,000 --> 00:43:55,000
There were 41,822 locations to be exact.

522
00:43:55,000 --> 00:44:05,000
McDonald's has steadily been growing its foothold internationally by combining its menu with local offerings.

523
00:44:05,000 --> 00:44:12,000
Restaurant appeals to regional taste by tweaking its staples like its fries

524
00:44:12,000 --> 00:44:16,000
and offering meals you couldn't find anywhere else.

525
00:44:16,000 --> 00:44:23,000
The restaurant chain has steadily been increasing the number of locations over the past few years.

526
00:44:23,000 --> 00:44:32,000
The chain leads the pack when it comes to world's largest fast food brands, followed by Subway and Starbucks.

527
00:44:32,000 --> 00:44:38,000
McDonald's is planning to broaden its number of locations in 2024.

528
00:44:38,000 --> 00:44:52,000
By the end of 2024, McDonald's will increase the total number of locations by 2,100 with 500 of those locations opening in the US.

529
00:44:52,000 --> 00:44:59,000
Well, does it mention Cosmax? Are they talking about Cosmax and McDonald's or are they just talking about McDonald's?

530
00:44:59,000 --> 00:45:04,000
They're just saying McDonald's and he's saying nothing about Cosmax.

531
00:45:04,000 --> 00:45:15,000
Okay, because Cosmax are spin-off that serves drinks, smoothies, coffees and finger foods, kind of, right?

532
00:45:15,000 --> 00:45:21,000
Okay, so this is just McDonald's, the restaurant that we know of.

533
00:45:21,000 --> 00:45:29,000
The restaurant chain also plans to open more restaurants in France, Australia and Canada.

534
00:45:29,000 --> 00:45:40,000
Apparently McDonald's is active in 118 countries with the US being home to the most.

535
00:45:40,000 --> 00:45:44,000
You know, Canada is Tim Hortons. Tim Hortons are everywhere.

536
00:45:44,000 --> 00:45:49,000
He was a hockey player, but it's like a bagel place and they are at every corner.

537
00:45:49,000 --> 00:45:54,000
McDonald's has a lot of room to grow in Canada. They're not like here where McDonald's is everywhere.

538
00:45:54,000 --> 00:45:58,000
Small town, big town, medium-sized town. McDonald's is everywhere.

539
00:45:58,000 --> 00:46:05,000
I-44, I-70, I-35, I-75, I-95. McDonald's all over there, right?

540
00:46:05,000 --> 00:46:11,000
But you go up to Canada and Tim Hortons is like that everywhere, but McDonald's has a lot of room to grow.

541
00:46:11,000 --> 00:46:17,000
So that's going to be interesting because I bet a lot of stores open up there.

542
00:46:17,000 --> 00:46:22,000
Yeah, there's four McDonald's between here and Bagnell Dam.

543
00:46:22,000 --> 00:46:26,000
Shit! That's not that far, really.

544
00:46:26,000 --> 00:46:29,000
About 20 minutes drive.

545
00:46:29,000 --> 00:46:32,000
And every one of them are packed?

546
00:46:32,000 --> 00:46:33,000
Yeah.

547
00:46:33,000 --> 00:46:39,000
Yep, just like up here. Wow. Anyhow, go ahead.

548
00:46:39,000 --> 00:46:41,000
No, no, I was good on that.

549
00:46:41,000 --> 00:46:49,000
Oh, okay. Let's take our second break and when I come back we can do nut tap, nipple flick,

550
00:46:49,000 --> 00:46:55,000
and then I can go into 80's products that will never come back. That sound good?

551
00:46:55,000 --> 00:46:56,000
That sounds good.

552
00:46:56,000 --> 00:46:59,000
Alright, we'll be right back.

553
00:47:09,000 --> 00:47:13,000
Next time you take a dump, listen to two douchebags and a microphone.

554
00:47:13,000 --> 00:47:20,000
It's been proven in laboratory rats to relax your anal canal. Get in cover.

555
00:47:20,000 --> 00:47:24,000
Now it's time for pick up lines from a loser.

556
00:47:24,000 --> 00:47:29,000
Hey, girl. Are you a beaver? Cause damn.

557
00:47:29,000 --> 00:47:33,000
Wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh.

558
00:47:34,000 --> 00:47:42,000
Hi, all. This is Chicago. I am the most dangerous city in North America.

559
00:47:42,000 --> 00:47:47,000
Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. You can't touch me.

560
00:47:47,000 --> 00:47:50,000
Oh, yeah? This is Kansas City here. Hold my beer, bitch.

561
00:47:50,000 --> 00:47:55,000
Two douchebags and a microphone remind you that you'll never get this hour back.

562
00:47:55,000 --> 00:47:59,000
Two douchebags and a microphone remind you that you'll never get this hour back.

563
00:47:59,000 --> 00:48:01,000
Sorry about your luck.

564
00:48:01,000 --> 00:48:07,000
Hey there, fuckstick. You're just in time for brand new feature news nobody gives a shit about.

565
00:48:07,000 --> 00:48:15,000
In a remote area in France, an armadillo was found alive and no one knows how it got there.

566
00:48:15,000 --> 00:48:20,000
This is a voice guide from your favorite podcast, Two Douchebags and a Microphone.

567
00:48:20,000 --> 00:48:24,000
People often ask us how they can find us when doing a remote broadcast.

568
00:48:24,000 --> 00:48:28,000
One, smell. Go to the city market and start sniffing.

569
00:48:28,000 --> 00:48:32,000
Our aroma has been described as a mixture of flea powder for goats,

570
00:48:32,000 --> 00:48:36,000
Tabasco sauce and old sock with dark fuzzy urine.

571
00:48:36,000 --> 00:48:40,000
Two, look for the spot absent of patrons.

572
00:48:40,000 --> 00:48:43,000
Three, the most dangerous place in the world.

573
00:48:43,000 --> 00:48:48,000
Three, the most telling sign is a crowd of patrons vomiting uncontrollably.

574
00:48:48,000 --> 00:48:54,000
Four, just call us at 816-512-7717.

575
00:48:55,000 --> 00:48:58,000
And now, deep thoughts with Mark.

576
00:49:02,000 --> 00:49:05,000
Sure wish my inner voice sounded just like Morgan Freeman.

577
00:49:05,000 --> 00:49:13,000
Hmm, that'd be cool.

578
00:49:17,000 --> 00:49:21,000
The apocalypse just happened. You don't know what to do.

579
00:49:21,000 --> 00:49:25,000
You don't know where to go, but we can tell you what you can eat.

580
00:49:27,000 --> 00:49:31,000
Dirt and apocalypse, don't forget the nuts. Hickory nuts that is.

581
00:49:31,000 --> 00:49:35,000
Yeah, we know, Hickory wood gets all the glory and all the love.

582
00:49:35,000 --> 00:49:43,000
Everyone loves the Hickory trees. They cut them down and they make great sandwiches out of barbecue and meats.

583
00:49:43,000 --> 00:49:46,000
They smoke them and it's a fantastic deal.

584
00:49:46,000 --> 00:49:49,000
But little does anyone know about the Hickory nuts.

585
00:49:49,000 --> 00:49:55,000
Dirt and apocalypse Hickory nuts could be the best thing you can find.

586
00:49:55,000 --> 00:49:59,000
Hickory nuts can be eaten raw, toasted or added to various recipes.

587
00:49:59,000 --> 00:50:06,000
Their rich buttery flavor and crunchy texture make them an ideal ingredient for both sweet and savory dishes.

588
00:50:06,000 --> 00:50:12,000
You can use Hickory nuts to make nut butter, pesto or even a unique Hickory nut milk.

589
00:50:12,000 --> 00:50:15,000
There are five types of Hickory nuts.

590
00:50:15,000 --> 00:50:23,000
Bitter nut Hickory, shag bark Hickory, pig nut Hickory, mocker nut Hickory and smooth bark Hickory.

591
00:50:23,000 --> 00:50:30,000
Hickory trees are considered part of the walnut species and are plentiful at least around Missouri and surrounding areas.

592
00:50:30,000 --> 00:50:34,000
So, Dirt and Apocalypse, don't forget to grab your nuts.

593
00:50:47,000 --> 00:50:49,000
Two douchebags and microphone on Mark.

594
00:50:49,000 --> 00:50:51,000
And I'm Rob.

595
00:50:51,000 --> 00:50:57,000
Before we go into the nut tap and all that, I just want to say someone ripped out the fifth month of my calendar.

596
00:50:57,000 --> 00:50:59,000
I am dismayed.

597
00:50:59,000 --> 00:51:03,000
Rob, go ahead.

598
00:51:03,000 --> 00:51:08,000
Oh wow.

599
00:51:08,000 --> 00:51:11,000
Okay, I'm going with this.

600
00:51:11,000 --> 00:51:13,000
Okay.

601
00:51:13,000 --> 00:51:16,000
A K3 fire engine means business.

602
00:51:16,000 --> 00:51:17,000
Okay.

603
00:51:17,000 --> 00:51:25,000
It's likely on its way to a motor vehicle accident, a serious medical emergency or a structure fire.

604
00:51:25,000 --> 00:51:26,000
Okay.

605
00:51:26,000 --> 00:51:35,000
Consequently, these emergency vehicles and their crews must reach the scene without the ways like traffic and parked cars.

606
00:51:35,000 --> 00:51:36,000
Uh huh.

607
00:51:36,000 --> 00:51:44,000
So, can fire trucks push cars out of the way to reach a burning home or business?

608
00:51:44,000 --> 00:51:46,000
Yes.

609
00:51:46,000 --> 00:51:47,000
Yeah.

610
00:51:47,000 --> 00:51:55,000
Like lane splitting in some states, a fire truck pushing cars out of the way exists in a gray area.

611
00:51:55,000 --> 00:52:07,000
For instance, a close friend firefighter I once served with reminded me that the departments he currently works with don't have formal policies on the subject.

612
00:52:07,000 --> 00:52:19,000
However, he assured me that in the event of a high-stakes emergency, a crew would push cars with a fire truck without hesitation.

613
00:52:19,000 --> 00:52:23,000
Furthermore, when I say push, I mean push.

614
00:52:23,000 --> 00:52:26,000
I've seen it happen, Rob.

615
00:52:26,000 --> 00:52:28,000
I've seen it happen.

616
00:52:28,000 --> 00:52:29,000
Have you?

617
00:52:29,000 --> 00:52:30,000
Yes.

618
00:52:30,000 --> 00:52:39,000
It was midtown and there was an apartment building on fire and there's all these cars parked in front of the fire hydrant.

619
00:52:39,000 --> 00:52:48,000
And literally, the truck just started pushing all three of them forward and got them out of the way to connect their hose.

620
00:52:48,000 --> 00:52:55,000
And then I saw another one where they smashed the windows out, put the hose through the car and connected it to the fire, to the fire hydrant.

621
00:52:55,000 --> 00:53:02,000
Yes. See, this story goes into breaking the window out to gain access to the fire hydrant.

622
00:53:02,000 --> 00:53:05,000
Oh, anyhow. Okay, go ahead. I didn't mean to spoil anything.

623
00:53:05,000 --> 00:53:12,000
Well, no, no. It's fine. It boils down to they're going to do what they have to do.

624
00:53:12,000 --> 00:53:20,000
If they can get around it, they will. If not, your cars are going to get moved or your windows are going to get smashed.

625
00:53:20,000 --> 00:53:27,000
Well, this is only to get to the fire hydrant. I think that's completely different than if a car is just kind of in the way.

626
00:53:27,000 --> 00:53:29,000
And you know what I mean?

627
00:53:29,000 --> 00:53:35,000
Yeah. Yeah, well, they will push a car out of the way to get through.

628
00:53:35,000 --> 00:53:38,000
Yeah, I've seen them do that because it was parked in front of a fire hydrant.

629
00:53:38,000 --> 00:53:45,000
And then after they push it out of the way, they called the tow truck and the tow truck took it away because it was illegally parked.

630
00:53:45,000 --> 00:53:55,000
So anyhow, yeah, I've seen that happen, but they did not take the cars in front of it because the cars in front of it were not breaking the law.

631
00:53:55,000 --> 00:53:56,000
Right.

632
00:53:56,000 --> 00:54:05,000
They were just in the way. So they pushed all the cars, but the car that was in front of the fire hydrant, they called the tow truck and got it towed.

633
00:54:05,000 --> 00:54:10,000
So anyhow. Wow. Good story.

634
00:54:10,000 --> 00:54:16,000
So anyhow, do you want to do the nipple yank nut tap and ass cheek bite?

635
00:54:16,000 --> 00:54:18,000
Let's go for it.

636
00:54:18,000 --> 00:54:21,000
All righty. Okay. I'll explain this really quick.

637
00:54:21,000 --> 00:54:27,000
And okay, this is something that we came up with. This is playful and this is just for effect.

638
00:54:27,000 --> 00:54:31,000
So when you'd like to do that, just to see the look on their faces isn't mean.

639
00:54:31,000 --> 00:54:35,000
It's not like hitting them in the nuts to where it hurts. It isn't biting the piss out of their ass.

640
00:54:35,000 --> 00:54:40,000
The nipple yank is just nothing but a little playful one. This is for fun only.

641
00:54:40,000 --> 00:54:44,000
So anyhow, Rob, go ahead.

642
00:54:44,000 --> 00:54:47,000
Okay. My nipple yank.

643
00:54:47,000 --> 00:54:51,000
Jeff Gordon.

644
00:54:51,000 --> 00:54:53,000
He might like it.

645
00:54:53,000 --> 00:54:57,000
Just so I can see how much he will cry.

646
00:54:57,000 --> 00:55:04,000
I think it'll ask for more.

647
00:55:04,000 --> 00:55:12,000
He'll ask for a hot oil next time.

648
00:55:12,000 --> 00:55:16,000
Okay, my nut flick.

649
00:55:16,000 --> 00:55:21,000
Goes to Sam Tennyson.

650
00:55:21,000 --> 00:55:26,000
I want to hear him hit a higher pitch.

651
00:55:26,000 --> 00:55:29,000
Oh, oh, oh, my balls.

652
00:55:29,000 --> 00:55:33,000
Yeah. I bet he hits a higher pitch.

653
00:55:33,000 --> 00:55:36,000
I bet he does too.

654
00:55:36,000 --> 00:55:39,000
Awesome.

655
00:55:39,000 --> 00:55:49,000
And then my ass cheek bite goes to the late, great, Rodney Dangerfield.

656
00:55:49,000 --> 00:55:56,000
The way he jumps around the back and some come up, bite him on the ass.

657
00:55:56,000 --> 00:55:59,000
Oh my God, he'd be all over the damn place.

658
00:55:59,000 --> 00:56:02,000
Oh yeah. Gosh, yeah.

659
00:56:02,000 --> 00:56:04,000
He knocked somebody out.

660
00:56:04,000 --> 00:56:06,000
Yeah.

661
00:56:06,000 --> 00:56:10,000
Well, that was cool. I liked that a lot.

662
00:56:10,000 --> 00:56:18,000
Anyhow, my nipple yank will go to Ric Flair.

663
00:56:18,000 --> 00:56:22,000
I want to hear him go, whoo, after you grab his nipple.

664
00:56:22,000 --> 00:56:25,000
And I also just want to see the look on his face.

665
00:56:25,000 --> 00:56:27,000
Oh, you really got me, brother.

666
00:56:27,000 --> 00:56:33,000
Oh, you got that nipple good.

667
00:56:33,000 --> 00:56:41,000
And then the nut tap, for no particular reason, I want a nut tap, Toe for Grace.

668
00:56:41,000 --> 00:56:45,000
That 70's show, movies, I can't think of that.

669
00:56:45,000 --> 00:56:47,000
That's interesting.

670
00:56:47,000 --> 00:56:51,000
I just want to see the look on his face when you do it.

671
00:56:51,000 --> 00:56:54,000
He does get kind of a dumbfounded look.

672
00:56:54,000 --> 00:56:57,000
Yeah, I want to see that dumbfounded look at him to go,

673
00:56:57,000 --> 00:57:02,000
I don't know why you did that, but I really don't like it.

674
00:57:02,000 --> 00:57:07,000
So maybe if you could possibly refrain from that activity, I would very much appreciate it.

675
00:57:07,000 --> 00:57:09,000
Thank you.

676
00:57:09,000 --> 00:57:12,000
Then you'd probably just walk off, normal.

677
00:57:12,000 --> 00:57:14,000
That's the way I see it, anyhow.

678
00:57:14,000 --> 00:57:23,000
And then my ass cheekbite goes to none other than Jack Nicholson.

679
00:57:23,000 --> 00:57:25,000
And I don't even want him to say anything.

680
00:57:25,000 --> 00:57:29,000
I just want to see the look on his face.

681
00:57:29,000 --> 00:57:37,000
And then just see that Jack Nicholson look, like, ooh, where did that come from?

682
00:57:37,000 --> 00:57:40,000
So hey, I think we both had some pretty solid choices there.

683
00:57:40,000 --> 00:57:42,000
What do you think?

684
00:57:42,000 --> 00:57:44,000
Yeah, I think we did.

685
00:57:44,000 --> 00:57:46,000
Yep, I'm proud of us.

686
00:57:46,000 --> 00:57:47,000
I'm proud of us.

687
00:57:47,000 --> 00:57:49,000
We always bring it on that.

688
00:57:49,000 --> 00:57:55,000
So in a week or two, we'll bring you another one because that's what we do here at Two Douchebags and Microphone.

689
00:57:55,000 --> 00:58:01,000
We come up with fake scenarios that are probably never going to happen,

690
00:58:01,000 --> 00:58:04,000
but we imagine that they do anyhow, right?

691
00:58:04,000 --> 00:58:05,000
Yep.

692
00:58:05,000 --> 00:58:06,000
All right.

693
00:58:06,000 --> 00:58:12,000
80s products that'll never come back.

694
00:58:12,000 --> 00:58:13,000
Bonkers.

695
00:58:13,000 --> 00:58:16,000
Do you remember them?

696
00:58:16,000 --> 00:58:18,000
Yeah.

697
00:58:18,000 --> 00:58:21,000
Yeah, it took me a minute, but I remember them too.

698
00:58:21,000 --> 00:58:28,000
Nabisco debuted a sweet treat in the 80s called Bonkers,

699
00:58:28,000 --> 00:58:33,000
which were advertised as chewable candies containing a fruity center.

700
00:58:33,000 --> 00:58:40,000
They're supposed to be chewy, but what they didn't figure out is after you chewed them up a couple of times, they were breaking teeth.

701
00:58:40,000 --> 00:58:42,000
Remember?

702
00:58:42,000 --> 00:58:44,000
They got really hard.

703
00:58:44,000 --> 00:58:48,000
They solidified in your mouth, and you never could chew one up.

704
00:58:48,000 --> 00:58:55,000
You might be able to swallow it, but you would not be able to chew it up because it would literally probably break a tooth off.

705
00:58:55,000 --> 00:59:03,000
So those are never going to come back because they don't want to pay all the people for new teeth.

706
00:59:03,000 --> 00:59:05,000
Handy Snacks.

707
00:59:05,000 --> 00:59:10,000
Remember them at all?

708
00:59:10,000 --> 00:59:12,000
Not a rare opportunity.

709
00:59:12,000 --> 00:59:14,000
It took me until I read it.

710
00:59:14,000 --> 00:59:15,000
Why?

711
00:59:15,000 --> 00:59:16,000
Because I didn't remember them either.

712
00:59:16,000 --> 00:59:18,000
They weren't real popular, actually, I don't think.

713
00:59:18,000 --> 00:59:29,000
People give guff to Lunchables for being unhealthy, but at least that cheese and cracker product invented in 1985 used actual slices of cheese.

714
00:59:29,000 --> 00:59:41,000
Before all that, we had Handy Snacks, which debuted in 1980 and encouraged you to spread a semi-gelatinous cheese product on fragile crackers with a plastic stick.

715
00:59:41,000 --> 00:59:44,000
Remember those?

716
00:59:44,000 --> 00:59:45,000
Okay, yeah.

717
00:59:45,000 --> 00:59:51,000
You had a plastic stick and that hard cheese and crackers that constantly broke when you took...

718
00:59:51,000 --> 00:59:55,000
And first off, that stick barely got the cheese out of there.

719
00:59:55,000 --> 01:00:03,000
And then you had this hard cheese that you couldn't spread on this cracker because the cracker would crumble when you tried to spread the hard cheese on it.

720
01:00:03,000 --> 01:00:13,000
So all you could do was really take a cracker, chew it up, and take a bite out of the cheese and mix it up like that.

721
01:00:13,000 --> 01:00:18,000
And if anyone doesn't know what I'm talking about, younger folk, Boomers and Xers will know about this.

722
01:00:18,000 --> 01:00:20,000
Anyone else, I don't know.

723
01:00:20,000 --> 01:00:25,000
Because I think it disappeared in 1985 or something like that, or was invented in 1985.

724
01:00:25,000 --> 01:00:33,000
And I think it said something like... No, it debuted in 1980 and it ended in 1985.

725
01:00:33,000 --> 01:00:36,000
So it lasted five years, which kind of surprises me.

726
01:00:36,000 --> 01:00:39,000
But if you're younger, just look it up.

727
01:00:39,000 --> 01:00:43,000
Handy Snacks with an I. H-A-N-D-I. Snacks.

728
01:00:43,000 --> 01:00:45,000
And they were horrible, weren't they, Rob?

729
01:00:45,000 --> 01:00:47,000
Yes, they were.

730
01:00:47,000 --> 01:00:52,000
And the cheese tasted what I imagine plastic would taste like.

731
01:00:52,000 --> 01:00:53,000
Yeah.

732
01:00:53,000 --> 01:00:56,000
It was horrible.

733
01:00:56,000 --> 01:01:00,000
The next one, Hot Pockets.

734
01:01:00,000 --> 01:01:01,000
Remember those?

735
01:01:01,000 --> 01:01:04,000
Yeah, I like Hot Pockets.

736
01:01:04,000 --> 01:01:07,000
No, I did too, but I guess a lot of people did not.

737
01:01:07,000 --> 01:01:13,000
There's an endless number of jokes to be made about the Hot Pockets.

738
01:01:13,000 --> 01:01:17,000
Comedian Jim Gaffigan made them very famous, remember?

739
01:01:17,000 --> 01:01:18,000
He'd do that.

740
01:01:18,000 --> 01:01:20,000
Hot Pockets.

741
01:01:20,000 --> 01:01:24,000
And he'd talk about how they're like little pouches of meat and all that.

742
01:01:24,000 --> 01:01:35,000
Well, I guess they got a bad rap because, number one, the meat in it would get so hot when people microwaved them that it would burn children's mouths, allegedly.

743
01:01:35,000 --> 01:01:40,000
And then also, it was like just a bunch of meat byproducts with sauce.

744
01:01:40,000 --> 01:01:43,000
It was very unhealthy for you, allegedly.

745
01:01:43,000 --> 01:01:53,000
And so people just, they quit eating them because, I mean, it took forever for them to cool off.

746
01:01:53,000 --> 01:01:58,000
And then you try to eat one, and as soon as you would bite through that, now remember this, Rob, think about it, okay?

747
01:01:58,000 --> 01:02:07,000
As soon as you bite through that little piece of dough, what was inside was boiling hot and would literally just burn the piss out of your mouth, right?

748
01:02:07,000 --> 01:02:08,000
Yeah.

749
01:02:08,000 --> 01:02:17,000
So for whatever reason, the product, the meat and the sauce inside of it got really hot and the outside of it wasn't nearly as hot.

750
01:02:17,000 --> 01:02:27,000
So anyhow, people would burn their mouth, and that's the main reason they quit selling them is because they got tired of complaints about little junior's mouth is burnt off, you know?

751
01:02:27,000 --> 01:02:34,000
So anyhow, the next one is Hubba Bubba Soda.

752
01:02:34,000 --> 01:02:35,000
Oh yeah, I remember that.

753
01:02:35,000 --> 01:02:42,000
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was the bubble gum, Hubba Bubba, I don't think it's selling anymore, do they?

754
01:02:42,000 --> 01:02:47,000
I don't know. I don't chew gum anymore.

755
01:02:47,000 --> 01:02:53,000
Oh, okay. I don't very much anymore either.

756
01:02:53,000 --> 01:03:05,000
But anyhow, it was a bubble gum that one, didn't stick to denture work, and two blew great bubbles, and three had unique flavors.

757
01:03:05,000 --> 01:03:16,000
But Wigley's rolled out the Hubba Bubba Gum brand in 1979, it debuted its now signature bubble tape in 1988.

758
01:03:16,000 --> 01:03:27,000
So the Hubba Bubba Soda was tempered after the Hubba Bubba tape, remember it was tape? It was like that fruit tape that kids eat?

759
01:03:27,000 --> 01:03:29,000
Yeah, yeah.

760
01:03:29,000 --> 01:03:34,000
Yeah, but it was bubble gum tape, it was Hubba Bubba tape, and you took pieces off it and ate?

761
01:03:34,000 --> 01:03:44,000
Well, the Hubba Bubba Soda was tailored after that, and that stuff was not very good tasting at all, in my opinion, and probably a lot of other people's opinions.

762
01:03:44,000 --> 01:03:52,000
So it didn't last that long, it lasted about two years according to this, and then it was gone, and it's not coming back.

763
01:03:52,000 --> 01:03:54,000
And they said it's not coming back.

764
01:03:54,000 --> 01:03:59,000
So, next one, Jolt Cola, remember that?

765
01:03:59,000 --> 01:04:01,000
I remember that.

766
01:04:01,000 --> 01:04:12,000
Yeah. Before energy drinks became the norm, we had Jolt Cola, a super caffeinated soda created by CJ Rapp in 1985.

767
01:04:12,000 --> 01:04:24,000
Despite a slogan that now sounds like a warning, all the sugar and twice the caffeine, and a persuasive urban legend about a kid dying after drinking the soda,

768
01:04:24,000 --> 01:04:29,000
it left popularity because people were afraid of it.

769
01:04:29,000 --> 01:04:36,000
They discontinued it in 2011, and the reason was because energy drinks started coming into the market in 2011.

770
01:04:36,000 --> 01:04:48,000
The fable about it killing children because there was too much caffeine and sugar was obviously wrong, but enough people heard it, they wouldn't let their children buy it anymore.

771
01:04:48,000 --> 01:04:54,000
And number three, it wasn't the best tasting stuff, people preferred Monster and Red Bull and stuff like that.

772
01:04:54,000 --> 01:04:58,000
And also, you couldn't use Jolt Cola as a mixer.

773
01:04:58,000 --> 01:05:06,000
It was no good as a mixer, but Red Bull and Vodka, Monster and whatever, it worked well, didn't it?

774
01:05:06,000 --> 01:05:08,000
I used to drink Red Bull and Vodka all the time.

775
01:05:08,000 --> 01:05:09,000
Yeah.

776
01:05:09,000 --> 01:05:17,000
Yeah, so the Jolt Cola, it wasn't a mixer either, so it went bye-bye while energy drinks entered the market.

777
01:05:17,000 --> 01:05:26,000
Next one, and I didn't know they quit selling this because I liked them for a lot of reasons, and Rob, you can say whatever you want, Pop Rocks.

778
01:05:26,000 --> 01:05:29,000
I liked them too.

779
01:05:29,000 --> 01:05:30,000
I did too.

780
01:05:30,000 --> 01:05:32,000
Pop Rocks have a turbulent history.

781
01:05:32,000 --> 01:05:44,000
In the early 80s, just a few years after the fizzy candy powder debuted, rumors popped up perpetrating the product could save, that could cause stomachs to boil.

782
01:05:44,000 --> 01:05:57,000
With another famous urban legend that Mikey Life Cereal Spose Kid died after combining the candy and soda together.

783
01:05:57,000 --> 01:06:06,000
The myth that didn't scare away enough kids as general food discontinued the Pop Rocks in 1983, they later returned to store shelves in the 90s.

784
01:06:06,000 --> 01:06:14,000
I guess they're no longer around though when they came to the shelves in the 90s.

785
01:06:14,000 --> 01:06:17,000
I guess they didn't sell very well, so they discontinued them again.

786
01:06:17,000 --> 01:06:27,000
But I had no idea that Mikey the Life Cereal Kid supposedly died from drinking soda and Pop Rocks together blew up his stomach or something.

787
01:06:27,000 --> 01:06:30,000
I did not know that either.

788
01:06:30,000 --> 01:06:35,000
I mean, I've heard that that could happen, but I didn't know Mikey did it.

789
01:06:35,000 --> 01:06:39,000
I don't think he did.

790
01:06:39,000 --> 01:06:42,000
I think it was an urban legend that got out of hand.

791
01:06:42,000 --> 01:06:45,000
I don't think Michael probably even knew what Pop Rocks were.

792
01:06:45,000 --> 01:06:50,000
So anyhow, the next one, Squeez-its.

793
01:06:50,000 --> 01:06:57,000
Squeez-its were always a questionable purchase, and not just because their name is way too close to Squeez-its.

794
01:06:57,000 --> 01:07:10,000
Introduced in 1985, the fruit flavored juice was mostly high fructose corn syrup, and because of its unique bottle design that had to be compressed in order to consume its contents,

795
01:07:10,000 --> 01:07:17,000
they were not resealable, they were never truly empty and constantly leaking everywhere.

796
01:07:17,000 --> 01:07:23,000
And in that case, you needed a reminder that Squeez-its were closer to candy than juice.

797
01:07:23,000 --> 01:07:31,000
The company once did a crossover with Lifesavers, but it did not save it because, like I said just a second ago,

798
01:07:31,000 --> 01:07:39,000
you never could get all of the juice out of that poorly designed package, and it always leaked.

799
01:07:39,000 --> 01:07:45,000
So you couldn't drink it all, and it always leaked combined into death for Squeez-its.

800
01:07:45,000 --> 01:07:56,000
But if you look at it, it actually spells, together, Squeez-its. Which also doesn't sound that good.

801
01:07:56,000 --> 01:08:04,000
This next one I don't remember, so I'm going to see if you do. Tidal Wave Bubble Gum.

802
01:08:04,000 --> 01:08:05,000
Tidal Wave...

803
01:08:05,000 --> 01:08:08,000
I vaguely remember that. I vaguely remember that name.

804
01:08:08,000 --> 01:08:09,000
Okay, Tidal Wave was like...

805
01:08:09,000 --> 01:08:11,000
Oh yeah, yeah I do.

806
01:08:11,000 --> 01:08:12,000
Okay.

807
01:08:12,000 --> 01:08:13,000
I remember.

808
01:08:13,000 --> 01:08:20,000
You would get into it and some sort of liquid would come out. It could have been like mint or it could have been cinnamon.

809
01:08:20,000 --> 01:08:22,000
It was gross.

810
01:08:22,000 --> 01:08:24,000
Yes. That stuff that came out...

811
01:08:24,000 --> 01:08:26,000
Oh my god.

812
01:08:26,000 --> 01:08:31,000
Yes. That didn't last but a couple of years, and it was disgusting.

813
01:08:31,000 --> 01:08:36,000
Anyone that was around then that knew this, knew it. I mean that tried it, knew it.

814
01:08:36,000 --> 01:08:41,000
It was the weirdest sensation to have this stuff that you had no idea what it was,

815
01:08:41,000 --> 01:08:49,000
and it came out of this thick square piece of chewing gum.

816
01:08:49,000 --> 01:08:55,000
So anyhow, that didn't last very long for obvious reasons. And that is all of it that I have to this article.

817
01:08:55,000 --> 01:08:58,000
So Rob, you got something you want to go into.

818
01:08:58,000 --> 01:09:02,000
Yeah, I pulled up Mikey from Life's Serial.

819
01:09:02,000 --> 01:09:04,000
Oh cool.

820
01:09:04,000 --> 01:09:12,000
According to Google, young Johnny Gilchrist was involved in more than 200 other commercial projects,

821
01:09:12,000 --> 01:09:17,000
but none left their mark as did Life's Serial's Mikey.

822
01:09:17,000 --> 01:09:26,000
After his time as a child actor, John went on to pursue continued education in communications.

823
01:09:26,000 --> 01:09:39,000
He eventually became the director of media sales at Mason Square Garden. That was as of September 27, 2022.

824
01:09:39,000 --> 01:09:43,000
So no, he did not eat pop rocks and coke.

825
01:09:43,000 --> 01:09:50,000
Okay, now on to another one.

826
01:09:50,000 --> 01:09:52,000
Okay.

827
01:09:52,000 --> 01:09:58,000
Everybody pretty much knows what the very first song on MTV ever was.

828
01:09:58,000 --> 01:10:00,000
Mm-hmm.

829
01:10:00,000 --> 01:10:01,000
Correct?

830
01:10:01,000 --> 01:10:02,000
Yep.

831
01:10:02,000 --> 01:10:08,000
Well, I have a list of the first ten songs played on MTV.

832
01:10:08,000 --> 01:10:09,000
Really cool.

833
01:10:09,000 --> 01:10:14,000
August 1, 1981.

834
01:10:14,000 --> 01:10:16,000
Okay.

835
01:10:16,000 --> 01:10:26,000
The first one, Video Killed the Radio Star by the Bugles. A lot of people know that one. That's a big trivia question.

836
01:10:26,000 --> 01:10:31,000
The second one, You Better Run by Pat Benatar.

837
01:10:31,000 --> 01:10:35,000
Oh wow.

838
01:10:35,000 --> 01:10:42,000
Number three, She Won't Dance with Me by Rod Stewart.

839
01:10:42,000 --> 01:10:54,000
I would have not figured that. Rod Stewart was still kind of hip, but I didn't think he was that hip to be introduced to MTV in one of their very first episode. Wow.

840
01:10:54,000 --> 01:10:57,000
Especially that song.

841
01:10:57,000 --> 01:11:06,000
Yeah, yeah. I could see like If You Want My Body or Young Turks or something like that, but wow. Anyhow, okay.

842
01:11:06,000 --> 01:11:12,000
Okay, the fourth one, You Better You Bet by The Who.

843
01:11:12,000 --> 01:11:14,000
No shit.

844
01:11:14,000 --> 01:11:17,000
See, I thought that one came out later.

845
01:11:17,000 --> 01:11:26,000
I thought it did too. You Better You Better. I thought that was Pete Townsend's solo anyhow. I didn't know that was The Who, but okay.

846
01:11:26,000 --> 01:11:28,000
No, it was The Who.

847
01:11:28,000 --> 01:11:29,000
Okay. Wow.

848
01:11:29,000 --> 01:11:39,000
Yeah. Okay, the fifth one, Little Suzy's On The Up by PhD.

849
01:11:39,000 --> 01:11:48,000
Little Suzy's On The Up. The only Little Suzy on the Up I know is the Tesla version of it. Huh, okay.

850
01:11:48,000 --> 01:11:50,000
This one's by PhD.

851
01:11:50,000 --> 01:11:53,000
I wonder if it's the same song.

852
01:11:53,000 --> 01:11:55,000
It might be. Tesla may have redone it.

853
01:11:55,000 --> 01:12:02,000
Yeah, because their song goes Little Suzy On The Up. Huh. Okay, anyhow.

854
01:12:02,000 --> 01:12:11,000
Okay, yeah. Yeah, I know that one. Okay, number six, We Don't Talk Anymore by Cliff Richard.

855
01:12:11,000 --> 01:12:15,000
That's an interesting one that I wouldn't have thought was on there.

856
01:12:15,000 --> 01:12:17,000
Yeah.

857
01:12:17,000 --> 01:12:21,000
Number seven, Brass In Pocket by The Pretenders.

858
01:12:21,000 --> 01:12:23,000
Oh, wow. Okay.

859
01:12:23,000 --> 01:12:24,000
I could see that one.

860
01:12:24,000 --> 01:12:28,000
I could too. The Pretenders were very popular.

861
01:12:28,000 --> 01:12:36,000
Yeah. Number eight, Time Heels by Todd Renger.

862
01:12:36,000 --> 01:12:43,000
Wow. Not one of his more popular songs either. Interesting.

863
01:12:43,000 --> 01:12:44,000
No.

864
01:12:44,000 --> 01:12:53,000
This has caught me off guard because there's a lot of songs. If you would have asked me if it was played in the first ten, I'd say there's no way.

865
01:12:53,000 --> 01:13:00,000
Well, you got to think. They're just putting videos together.

866
01:13:00,000 --> 01:13:03,000
They were just seeing what was sticking.

867
01:13:03,000 --> 01:13:12,000
And then I think they figured out later it wasn't a 25 to 54 audience. It was a 17 to 25 audience.

868
01:13:12,000 --> 01:13:13,000
Right.

869
01:13:13,000 --> 01:13:16,000
You see what I mean? It was probably much younger than they expected.

870
01:13:16,000 --> 01:13:23,000
Okay. Number nine, Take It On The Run by R.V.A. Speedwagon.

871
01:13:23,000 --> 01:13:27,000
I could see that. Yes. Yeah.

872
01:13:27,000 --> 01:13:32,000
And number ten, Rockin' The Paradise by Sticks.

873
01:13:32,000 --> 01:13:37,000
Yes. All right. That's a great song too.

874
01:13:37,000 --> 01:13:38,000
Yes, it was.

875
01:13:38,000 --> 01:13:39,000
Dennis DeYoung.

876
01:13:39,000 --> 01:13:42,000
I'm actually saving that.

877
01:13:42,000 --> 01:13:51,000
That is one of the perfect examples of, like I spoke about this before, Queen, Sticks, there's other bands too.

878
01:13:51,000 --> 01:14:02,000
They have the rocker, guitarist, and they have the flamboyant frontman that is into opera, jazz, and all that.

879
01:14:02,000 --> 01:14:06,000
And it's a constant struggle on how the song's going to come out.

880
01:14:06,000 --> 01:14:09,000
And a lot of times, like Rockin' In Paradise, you get both of them.

881
01:14:09,000 --> 01:14:16,000
You get Tommy Shaw rocking, and you get Dennis DeYoung doing harmonies and melodies.

882
01:14:16,000 --> 01:14:23,000
And like the famous Queen, Bohemian Rhapsody, or anything else that Queen had done.

883
01:14:23,000 --> 01:14:27,000
You always had that struggle between the rocker and the melodic guy.

884
01:14:27,000 --> 01:14:30,000
And that is what made the band so good.

885
01:14:30,000 --> 01:14:35,000
Because they were always interrogating this and trying to take over the song.

886
01:14:35,000 --> 01:14:38,000
It was truly a battle of brilliance.

887
01:14:38,000 --> 01:14:40,000
So, yeah, I could see that.

888
01:14:40,000 --> 01:14:53,000
And that was a great song that exemplified Sticks and how brilliant and how talented all the members were in it.

889
01:14:53,000 --> 01:14:56,000
So, I got one here.

890
01:14:56,000 --> 01:15:03,000
Gen Z thinks that all the other generations are nuts because they use a top cover on their bed.

891
01:15:03,000 --> 01:15:07,000
Did you know this?

892
01:15:07,000 --> 01:15:08,000
Really?

893
01:15:08,000 --> 01:15:09,000
Yeah.

894
01:15:09,000 --> 01:15:11,000
I got another one.

895
01:15:11,000 --> 01:15:12,000
Me too.

896
01:15:12,000 --> 01:15:14,000
They think it's ridiculous.

897
01:15:14,000 --> 01:15:16,000
They're like, why?

898
01:15:16,000 --> 01:15:23,000
Once again, the Youngians are flabbergasting the older generations with their disregard of things they deem unnecessary.

899
01:15:23,000 --> 01:15:27,000
There's always something that gets dropped or altered generation to generation.

900
01:15:27,000 --> 01:15:32,000
We learn better ways of technology, making certain things obsolete.

901
01:15:32,000 --> 01:15:34,000
But it doesn't matter how far we've come.

902
01:15:34,000 --> 01:15:38,000
Our beds still need sheets to cover the mattresses.

903
01:15:38,000 --> 01:15:43,000
The debate is on the use of top sheets, also known as flat sheets.

904
01:15:43,000 --> 01:15:46,000
They're the sheets that keep your body from touching the comforter.

905
01:15:46,000 --> 01:15:53,000
Most Gen X and Boomers are firmly for the use, like we are, of the top sheets as a hygiene practice.

906
01:15:53,000 --> 01:15:59,000
The idea being that the top sheet keeps your dead skin cells and body oils from dirtying your comforter.

907
01:15:59,000 --> 01:16:05,000
This causes you to have to watch it more often, which a comforter is more heavy.

908
01:16:05,000 --> 01:16:11,000
It really destroys your washing machine because it's so heavy when it's full of water.

909
01:16:11,000 --> 01:16:20,000
The idea is to wash that comforter as little as you can and to save the stress off your agitator on your washing machine.

910
01:16:20,000 --> 01:16:22,000
Right.

911
01:16:22,000 --> 01:16:29,000
Okay, so apparently millennials and Gen Zers are uninterested in using a top sheet while sleeping.

912
01:16:29,000 --> 01:16:35,000
In fact, they'd rather just get a duvet cover, though they may be cumbersome.

913
01:16:35,000 --> 01:16:47,000
A duvet cover can be washed fairly frequently, while some may opt out for a cheaper comforter that they don't care is washed often because their disdain for a top sheet is that strong.

914
01:16:47,000 --> 01:16:50,000
But why on earth do millennials and Gen Zers hate top sheets?

915
01:16:50,000 --> 01:16:53,000
It turns out it's mostly about practicality.

916
01:16:53,000 --> 01:16:59,000
Many millennials are on the move holding a full-time job and a side hustle or two to make ends meet.

917
01:16:59,000 --> 01:17:04,000
Adding an extra step when making a bed seems unnecessary to them.

918
01:17:04,000 --> 01:17:11,000
Where Gen Zers and Boomers, we have all the time in the world for stuff like that, right?

919
01:17:11,000 --> 01:17:12,000
Right.

920
01:17:12,000 --> 01:17:16,000
Well, they don't. And they deem it just unnecessary.

921
01:17:16,000 --> 01:17:26,000
So that's another one of those little things that you don't think about until you start seeing them on Reddit and other things about, you know, Gen Z millennials going, man, those guys are nuts.

922
01:17:26,000 --> 01:17:29,000
Why would you do a top sheet? That's too much trouble.

923
01:17:29,000 --> 01:17:32,000
So I do it for comfort.

924
01:17:32,000 --> 01:17:38,000
Me too. I love the feel of the top. It's cooler. A top sheet is much cooler than a comforter.

925
01:17:38,000 --> 01:17:49,000
And so on those days where it's a little warm or really muggy and your air conditioner wasn't quite turned up to where it should be when you left in the morning and you come home, you're like, man, there's a lot of humidity.

926
01:17:49,000 --> 01:17:52,000
It's a little warm in here. And let's say you got to go to bed.

927
01:17:52,000 --> 01:17:55,000
You're like, oh, shit, you know.

928
01:17:55,000 --> 01:17:58,000
So anyhow, that's my version of it.

929
01:17:58,000 --> 01:18:03,000
Anyhow, we're running well over an hour. Do you want to end this bitch or?

930
01:18:03,000 --> 01:18:07,000
Oh, hi, Opal. Hi, Jimmy. Hi, Ricky. Dodge City, Kansas.

931
01:18:07,000 --> 01:18:10,000
Rob. Hi, Grandma.

932
01:18:10,000 --> 01:18:15,000
Hi, Jenny. Hi, Ricky. Love you guys.

933
01:18:15,000 --> 01:18:22,000
Anyhow, do we want to wrap this bitch up with a bow and send it on down the river or do we want to keep going?

934
01:18:22,000 --> 01:18:24,000
That's right.

935
01:18:24,000 --> 01:18:26,000
I'll let it work tomorrow. All right, bitches.

936
01:18:26,000 --> 01:18:28,000
You've heard it. It's a done deal.

937
01:18:28,000 --> 01:18:33,000
Thank you for listening again. Our numbers are outrageously good.

938
01:18:33,000 --> 01:18:35,000
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

939
01:18:35,000 --> 01:18:38,000
So coming soon. Coming soon.

940
01:18:38,000 --> 01:18:43,000
Our our own thank yous to our top markets.

941
01:18:43,000 --> 01:18:49,000
So anyhow, hey, how did you like the new Gen Z promo I got in the middle there?

942
01:18:49,000 --> 01:18:53,000
I like it. Look, I'm a Gen Z er.

943
01:18:53,000 --> 01:18:57,000
I'm firmly a Gen Z er. So I can say this.

944
01:18:57,000 --> 01:19:00,000
I was one of the young ones that was never going to conform.

945
01:19:00,000 --> 01:19:03,000
I was the ones that never got chased the buck.

946
01:19:03,000 --> 01:19:06,000
What am I doing? All my life I chased the buck.

947
01:19:06,000 --> 01:19:08,000
What I do? What happened to us?

948
01:19:08,000 --> 01:19:11,000
Yeah. Yeah. We were the rebellious ones.

949
01:19:11,000 --> 01:19:15,000
Yeah. Yeah. We were the generation that was going to end the world.

950
01:19:15,000 --> 01:19:20,000
Now we're in corporations. So anyhow, look, that's what we do.

951
01:19:20,000 --> 01:19:23,000
We illustrate through the absurd. We make fun of everything.

952
01:19:23,000 --> 01:19:25,000
We say it at our first.

953
01:19:25,000 --> 01:19:31,000
We're we have no integrity in our journalistic quality at all.

954
01:19:31,000 --> 01:19:34,000
And we know this. We'll lie to make a story better.

955
01:19:34,000 --> 01:19:37,000
And we don't care. So anyhow, thank you everybody for listening.

956
01:19:37,000 --> 01:19:39,000
Good night, assholes.

957
01:19:39,000 --> 01:19:43,000
Thank you, everyone. Good night, assholes.

958
01:19:43,000 --> 01:19:46,000
Oh, no, looks like the show's over, kids.

959
01:19:46,000 --> 01:19:51,000
Mark has explosive diarrhea and can't afford a wireless mic.

960
01:19:51,000 --> 01:20:02,000
Fear not, assholes. They'll be back invading your ear holes soon.