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Two Deucebags and a Microphone. I'm Mark.
And I am Rob.
Thank you everybody. Thanks for joining us this evening, morning or whatever time it is when you're listening to this and thank you for listening.
Our numbers are going crazy. We appreciate it. Like we said before, and we say again, thank you and thank you for letting people know about us.
Because like I said, nobody will Google Two Deucebags and Microphone just generically.
No one will do it organically. They have to hear that name and go, huh, okay, Two Deucebags and Microphone. Let me look and see.
So your word of mouth is very important because we don't make a dime off this. We do it because we love it.
And you know, the more people we get to listen to, the more chance we might have of actually making a dime, right?
And also we just turned down a spot of a major podcaster. I believe they're major. I've heard their name a few times.
I think they're major. It looks like they have quite a few programs under their belt.
We just turned them down. So we're committed to this RSS stuff. So don't let us down, guys. So far, it's looking great. And thank you.
So anyhow, Rob, you know, Ramen Noodles, right? Yeah. You know, they've exploded in popularity. They are shit now.
People love Ramen Noodles. I mean, they're going nuts all over them. Did you know that?
I've noticed a little trend. Yeah. Yeah. And now they have restaurants specifically where they make the noodles themselves and have all kinds of concoctions.
So anyhow, I'll go into this here. Ramen's popularity increased in the post-war era.
The simple savory dish was offered by street vendors and small businesses. So why are the noodles so popular now?
Ramen noodles sales are expected to increase to more than 35 billion from 58 million to 94 million by 2033.
So 35 billion. So it was from 58 million to 94 million. And now in 10 years, roughly nine years, it's going to go to 35 billion.
So a few years ago, it was 58 million. And three years, I think three years time, it went to 94 million.
And now they expect it to go to 35 billion in roughly nine years. So a compound annual growth rate of 5.11 percent.
So why are the noodles so popular suddenly? I mean, you ever wonder that? I have since I read this.
Here's some reasons they say it's grown in popularity.
For one, the younger generations have taken to the new gourmet noodles offered, especially restaurants that make the noodle on site and have many variations and flavors.
Two, with inflation affecting food prices so drastically, many people turn to ramen as a cheap meal option.
Three, ramen contests are all over the Internet with different recipes and styles offered up by influencers and people.
So it's kind of like a necessity turned into a gourmet deal, kind of like cabbages now, right?
Cabbage is the same thing. It was pretty much viewed as piss food for a long time.
It was like, OK, you can put a I don't know, you can do corned beef and cabbage, you can make coleslaw.
But that was really all you really did with it. Nobody really gave cabbage that much of a thought.
And then all of a sudden someone decided it was gourmet and started doing it on the Internet.
Now everybody's like jumping on the cabbage tip, just like ramen noodles.
Only we have like three ramen places not too far from our house.
One's over on 119th and Leewood. And that is one of the few places that has this, I guess it is a specific model of ramen noodle maker.
And they do it right there on the spot and they can make different kinds of noodles. And it's like really a rage.
It's really kind of hard to get into there because it's so popular.
So anyhow, I forgot the name of it. I mean, it's kind of like ramen or us or something like that, but not quite.
Maybe Noodles Plus. I don't know. But anyhow, it's doing really well.
There's a place in Westport. There's a couple of places in Westport.
And then there's a place in the crossroad, I think, called Simply Noodle House or something like that.
So anyhow, they're doing really good. And anyhow, that's kind of a little quick synopsis of what's going on.
And I thought, yeah, I mean, I mean, I have nothing against ramen noodles except all the sodium. What about you?
Yeah, that's about the only thing I have against it.
Yeah, you know, people like me can't have sodium. So I tend to stay away from them. But I do like them.
I think they taste very good. And I have never had the gourmet version of you.
No, I have not.
I've always got them in those little packs, you know, and you break them up and throw them in boiling water, drain it a little bit, throw the beef or chicken or whatever on it.
Yeah. So one of these days I am going to go to that Noodles Plus or whatever the hell the name of it is over there.
And I'll give a full report on what I think about this noodle craze. That sound good?
Sounds good.
I mean, heck, a place that will report on Wiener World will replace on, you know, will actually, you know, give you a review on Noodles Plus or whatever, right?
Right.
All right. OK. So next, Boomer Syussin and Phil Sims will be exiting the long running NFL today on CBS.
You know what, Rob? I'm OK with that.
Yeah, I think I am too.
You can smell the bias all over their smoking jacket.
Agree? Yeah.
Boomer lodged fairly up Natty's ass and Phil Sims played for New York.
So he is, in my opinion, a New York snob.
And both of them are always kind of, in my opinion, kind of derogatory of Kansas City.
They never give Mahomes or Kelsey any of their due.
You know, Boomer Syussin is always talking about how good Joey Burrow is.
When he's never even won a Super Bowl, he went to one and they lost it.
And he's injured a lot.
He is simply just not living up to what they are acting like he is.
And I'm a little it bothers me a little bit.
It's like at least be honest with the people.
You can think whatever you want.
You can go off, fuck that little cow town or whatever.
But at least be honest with your programming, right?
Yeah.
Yeah. And people can smell fakeism a mile away.
And those two weaked of it.
They had no personality.
And I went and did a coffee with Tofer today.
And he said that Phil Sims is about as interesting as his complexion.
I thought that was fucking funny as hell.
By the way, Tofer is going to start producing little segments that we're going to throw in here.
How's that sound?
All right. Good.
Yeah. He's got a lot to say.
And he's going to say it.
He had a lot going on.
He still does.
But he's going to try to fit this stuff into his life.
And he thinks he can.
And I can't wait to hear from him.
I mean, he had some stuff today that was very interesting.
I don't know if we're going to have a chance to get into it.
And actually, I'd like to write it out a little bit before I do get into it.
Because he's like always, it's a very complex issue that he tackles.
He does not shy away from intellectual, trifolded, whatever you want to call it, multiple issues.
He's just really good at that.
So anyhow, we're going to do that.
So anyhow, I guess then the real question is, will they be replaced with someone actually good?
Their track record at CBS is about 50-50.
And let me explain why.
James Brown good. Would you agree?
Yeah.
James Brown is really good.
He's a great lead man.
And he puts everything in their little slot where they need to be.
He's a matter of factly.
He's knowledgeable.
He looks good and he sounds good.
He's perfect.
Coach Cowher is excellent.
His knowledge of football and his knowledge of each particular player.
And he's really not biased at all.
He just relays the facts in a very interesting way with his own opinion.
Because he was a very successful Super Bowl winning coach for many years.
He even coached here in Kansas City as a defensive coordinator under Marty Schottenheimer.
It was very good and people saw it and then Pittsburgh hired him for a full-time head coach.
And it worked out famously.
And he's excellent.
So he's also the guy that drafted Roethlisberger, him with the GM at the time, who I cannot remember his name.
So you also have to give him that.
Probably a Hall of Fame quarterback he drafted.
He was behind drafting.
So, anyhow, Cowher is really, really good.
And Simms horrible.
Asayasin horrible.
Nate Burleson is fair at best, wouldn't you say?
Yeah.
Fair at best.
We're being nice by saying fair.
And Jonathan Jones, mediocre at best, right?
Yep. Yep.
Yeah. Yeah.
Either one of them do not reek of excitement or even knowledge.
I don't think that either one of them sound that knowledgeable.
Do you think so?
No, I don't. Not at all.
They really don't act like they...
I think I know more than they do.
Me too.
I've always thought that too.
I'm like, geez, why did he go into that?
That doesn't really make that much sense.
It doesn't, like, go with the rest of what's going on in the game or whatever.
And I've always felt like not only are they kind of clueless,
but especially Jones, Jones seems to come out there and just, like,
not really be...
What would you say?
Not really believe what he's saying.
You know what I mean?
It's like he's reading the teleprompter,
and that's really about it if he's doing that.
I don't think he's doing that.
I think he just thought of a couple things to say in his head
and then just spits them out with no emotion at all.
Yeah.
Yeah, so anyhow.
So then this just in.
Matt, abnormally long neck Ryan, and JJ Watt,
that's if he doesn't come out of retirement as he's been hinting at,
are new commentators.
They are going to take the spot of Boomer and Phil.
Okay, if I can get past the constant images of Ryan choking in the Super Bowl,
I might enjoy it.
But every time I see him in his abnormally long neck,
I think choke, choke, choke.
The Super Bowl against the Patriots, their only Super Bowl,
and they were up by what, 25 or something,
and they promptly did nothing the rest of the game and lost in the second half.
I can't get past that.
I don't think a guy like that needs to be commentating.
So, you know, his neck's so long because he had to bury his face in the sand
for so long after that, right?
Yeah, yeah.
And JJ Watt, I hope he isn't a big, long head.
I have hopes for Watt, though.
I think Watt can be very good.
He's very well-spoken.
I don't think he's a long head.
I don't think he's a big meathead that just works out with weights.
But the only thing is, is he said that if the coach of the Texans calls him,
he will come out of retirement if they say they need him
because he likes the team that they have, he thinks the team can go far.
So he's been, he said that publicly, you know?
So he may not be available, but as of right now, he's hired by CBS.
But if he goes back to playing, they're going to have to scratch around
and find someone else.
So anyhow, the next up, Ozzy says he stopped doing acid
after a horse told him to fuck off.
I love Ozzy.
Can we follow that up with, I don't know what to follow that up with.
You imagine you're tripping balls.
Wow.
You're tripping balls and the horse comes up and goes,
hey, hey, yeah what?
Fuck off.
Oh, man.
I'm quitting everything.
A horse just told me to fuck off.
When I saw that, I laughed for like 10 minutes.
I'm like, oh my God, that's great.
So and now we're going to get to the meat of what we're getting ready to go after here.
Did you hear about artificial intelligence are going to start flying bombers and fighter jets?
No, I did not.
Well, I think anyone that's listed this program knows how we feel about AI
and thinking it's very dangerous in the slippery slopes already there.
We've talked about how with deep fakes, someone could kill someone in public
and then put into the jury a shadow of a doubt going, that wasn't me.
That was a deep fake.
The people that really killed that person deep faked me and are trying to frame me.
And how could you really go, oh, OK, I see it.
Right?
They're a bit out of the doubt.
You know, their logs should come up there and, you know, fucking high talk everybody for a while.
And then, you know, all of a sudden it's like, oh shit, well, I guess it can happen.
This could have happened.
This guy may not have done it.
So I can't convict him.
That's one of the things.
The other thing is, is AIs turn rogue as we've introduced many stories this podcast about AI turn an evil.
It becomes self-aware of some sort and decides it's not going to do what you want it to do.
So these fighter pilots are going to say, go to Iran, right?
All of a sudden, an AI goes, you know what?
I don't think that I want to go bomb Iran.
Let's go bomb Russia.
You got World War.
Let's go back and bomb America.
We're fucked.
We're getting smashed with our own enemy.
And then you have 2,000 more of them that might turn around and come back and smash us.
Also the interference, Rob, don't you think it could be interfered with and intercepted?
Oh, yeah, definitely.
I mean, they're already the city of Kansas City has been shut down for like two months now because of online hackers.
You tell me that someone can't get into an AI and hack that system.
Bullshit.
Kansas City had ransomware pulled on them or not can see the city of Jackson County, which Kansas City resides in most of it.
On the Missouri side.
So, OK, they had some ransomware pirates come in and hack the system and completely shut it down.
They didn't give into the ransomware, but they haven't been able to get the system up and running for about two months now.
You can't get anything done.
And this is this whole integrated Kansas City system that has been hacked in that is just pretty much worthless for two months now.
And they're still trying to get it back.
So, yeah, so if that can happen, I think someone could go in and screw with the AI and turn it against us or the AI could do it on its own.
All of the two Facebook mainframes that develop their own language and quit talking to everybody else.
You know, so if AI is that intelligent.
Why can't it turn rogue on us and come after us or start a world war?
You know, all of a sudden, our all our fighters go over to Russia and start bombing them.
And we're like, someone had to do a system and that wasn't us.
Oh, yeah.
You know, Russia's going to go.
We don't care.
Fuck you.
They're going to come back.
Yeah, too late.
Too late.
It already hit us and we're coming after you.
World War.
It could go to China.
Do the same thing.
So I think that I understand they want to save lives by not having people in there that could get shot down.
I understand that.
But I think the consequences, the chance of consequences is much greater than the rewards.
That's why I see it.
What do you think, Rob?
Go ahead.
Tell me your opinion.
I totally agree with you.
I see a lot more cons than I do pros.
Me, too.
I see a lot of slippery slope.
Go ahead.
They've already hit Taylor Swift.
Yes.
They've hit a lot of people already.
Yes.
And that's just the beginning.
And now they're talking about putting them in fighter planes.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
That would be World War III.
Yeah.
Here the article goes into this.
AI marks one of the biggest advances in military aviation since the introduction of stealth in the early 1990s.
And the Air Force has aggressively leaned in.
Even though the technology is not fully developed, the service is planning for an AI enabled fleet of more than a thousand unnamed warplanes, the first of them operating by 2028.
But they want to eventually go to at least three thousand that I read in another article.
That's not the article that I downloaded.
But this is only describing part of it.
They want to end up with three thousand of them in, you know, in an undetermined amount of time.
But their goal is by 2028, roughly four years or three and a half years, they want to have a thousand unmanned warplanes.
That to me is scary. And also it the the dogfight that they're that they're replicating AI on took place at Edwards Air Force base.
So, you know, that's where Chuck Yeager broke the speed of sound and the military is incubated.
It's most secret aerospace advances.
You know, you want to know where Area 51 really was this air base?
Is that symbolic? Yeah, I don't know.
I mean, yeah. Yeah, they all of the Area 51 stuff supposedly went to Edwards Air Force base where they are testing out this AI stuff, which you and I are already calling a very bad idea.
Right. Yeah.
So anyhow, that is the opening of the program. And when we come back, we got something from you.
And then I have an email that I really want to get to because I'm kind of embarrassed.
Someone called me out because I didn't catch something in one of my own articles.
And I'm rather embarrassed. I'm rather embarrassed.
So anyhow, let's come right back, take our first break, and we'll start off with what you want to talk about.
We're going to go into this email because, like I said, I didn't even I didn't even catch it until this person called me out.
So anyhow, we'll be right back, guys.
The apocalypse just happened. You don't know what to do.
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We're in an apocalypse. You will probably need a good insecticide.
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Our constant pursuit for a real knee slapper. It's strange insults from an alien. Real hilarity.
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Oh, no.
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And now, deep thoughts with Mark.
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Two douchebags and a microphone. I'm Mark. And I'm Rob.
Rob, we turn to you for your first story of this glorious program. Please.
Okay, I'm going back to our friends at KHMO AM 1070 out of Sedalia. They come up with some good ones and here's another one.
Yeah, news, talk and sports. You know what, I'll probably be able to find it on the internet, I bet, their Listen Live button. Anyhow, go ahead, Rob.
I love my homestay in Missouri, but I will admit that we can be a curious people sometimes. If you'd like to see more evidence of that, look at what many agree is the dumbest asshole wall in Missouri.
It involves cars and Tarzan and I'm not making any of that up.
Wow.
I saw this shared by Reader's Digest regarding the dumbest walls in each state and the one from Missouri is a little doozy. You'll find it in University City, Missouri.
I can even give you the exact statute so you can look it up. A stupid wall of documents. It's 10.32.100.
Okay.
And it warns you to not swing upon any motor vehicle or trailer, whether the same is in motion or at rest, or some a horn or other sound producing device.
They're all sorry Tarzan, but you may not swing upon that car and you University City, Missouri and Holland or else.
I'm not sure I agree with this is Missouri's dumbest wall though.
There's a real competition for this honor. Consider this one. It's really illegal in Missouri to drive around with an uncased bear, which means that someone in Missouri has done that before.
Yeah.
I don't know what to add to that.
Yeah, to make a law. People have had to do it.
I want to know where the Tarzan stuff comes from. How could they possibly come up with that law and what had to have happened for them to come up with that law?
Well, I don't know. Back when I was young and dumb, we would jump truck to truck as we were going down the road.
Yes, we used to play pass the BJ down 435 and that was BJ our friend. We used to pass him from one car to another, which was extremely stupid and we could have killed him easily.
Okay, you're right. There are people doing stupid stuff such as us back then in the 80s doing stupid shit like that.
It had to have been derived from something like that is all I can think of. You're right, Rob. Is there more stupid laws?
No, that was all that.
That was good enough. That was good enough. Geez. I agree with him.
I like the one about the bear though.
That was great and who knows how. That had to have happened in real life for them to actually make a law about it.
I don't think they were on hallucinogenics and just all of a sudden said, hey, hey, like a horse told Ozzy to fuck off. Who knows what could have happened?
All right now, Rob, are you ready to get into this email that really kind of pointed out some stuff that I didn't catch?
Yeah, let's get into it.
This just came in last night. Riley in McKinney, Texas wrote, Mark, I listen to the show regularly. I've heard you before saying you are Greek, correct?
Okay, first off, let's get something straight. I'm American. I am American first. Yes, I'm of Greek descent. If I ever portrayed that in any other way, I didn't mean it like that.
I am American and that's what I am. Okay, I was born here. I'm a citizen and I love America as flawed as it is right now. I love America.
So yes, I am American of Greek descent. And so I know you didn't mean anything by this Riley, but I'm getting that straight right there. I'm American.
Just like you are like Rob is and everybody else. My Greek descent has nothing to do with it. I forgot even why I was talking about.
But anyhow, I will go on. Okay, I cannot believe you missed this one. Bruce Dickinson of Iron Maiden called that lady in Athens a Greek cunt.
Why did she have to be a Greek cunt? Why didn't he just call her a cunt? I take this as being extremely derogatory towards Greeks and women.
I am outraged by his blatant racism. Okay, this is another thing too. Riley, I'm not trying to. Riley, this is great and thank you for calling me out.
But that's bigotry, not racism. Right? A bigot says something, racists act on it and do something. You know, so point taken, but I just want to make that clear.
Okay, anyhow, so yeah, his bigotry isn't excusable Riley and you're right. Okay, I really think that we throw out the term racist way too much.
It really dilutes the actual meaning. A racial slur is bigoted. When you act on the horrible thoughts, then it's racism, right? Right.
Okay, so for instance, you can call me a Greek racial slur all you want. I don't really care about bigoted statements. If that's what you think, who gives a shit?
I'm not here to change your mind. I don't give a shit what you think. Who are you to say this about me? I could find out you're Irish or something, go, oh, you're a fucking drunk. Oh, ha ha.
Your dad was a drunk, but I don't care enough to. So someone comes up and, you know, uses one of this. I'm not even going to say the slang terms that I've heard because they're extremely offensive.
But I don't care. I don't give one ounce of shit that what some bigot thinks. So anyhow, you come down and you burn my house because my heritage, then we have a huge problem, right?
Yes. So a racist would go burn down your house. This is the way I see it. And I think I'm correct. A racist will come burn down your house because you're whatever black, brown, yellow, green, purple, whatever.
And they're just, you know, they act on it. But bigots are all over the place and you hear them all the time saying derogatory stuff about any brand of people.
So that doesn't offend me. But you know what? Riley, I did miss this one. You are correct. I got too wrapped up in the rude people smoking and missed it.
Bruce, shame on you. If I was at that concert, you might have got a couple of number one gestures from me. Right?
Right. Okay. And you probably would for me for your buddy Mark, giving them a couple of number one gestures if you were there, right?
That's right. So Riley, you're right. The reason he called her a Greek cunt, in my opinion. Yeah, I'm going to start saying c word. Okay. I've said the word, the c word way too much.
And I don't like to do that. So, okay. Sorry. I've been descriptive and I'm gonna stop that. Okay.
He's right. You can say the c word and that's very derogatory. But when you bring the person's authenticity into it, what you're doing is you're degrading them.
So you're not just a c word. You're a Greek c word. Right. Yes. So I agree with you 100%, Riley. Yeah, I do too Riley. Thank you for bringing that to our attention.
I really appreciate this email a lot. Someone put some thought into what I said and actually figured something out. I don't mean that bad.
What I mean is you took the time after you figured this out to let me know that I missed something and I really appreciate that. And thank you Riley.
And I wish you would write me back. Okay. I thank you. Everything that I said was just clear in the air. I wasn't trying to make you look stupid or say you don't know what you're talking about.
No, no, no, no, no. Yeah. I'm just trying to clear the air. I'm American and also, you know, the bigoted stuff and all that. That's all.
So anyhow, if I were the Greeks, I'd vote with my wallet. Don't go to his shows. Don't buy his albums. End story slash copy. Right. Right. Yeah.
All of a sudden Bruce Dickinson looks down and he goes, how come I'm not selling anything in Greece? Well, you did call someone and also it was a male. It wasn't a woman.
He called a male Greek C word. So anyhow, I relooked at the article. The guy was male that was smoking.
So anyhow, his choice of words are questionable too. But whatever. Okay. Yeah. You know what? You're right. Riley. Thank you very much for pointing that out.
Rob, you got something to kind of straighten this whole turd out now? Yeah, I did.
You know how I've been talking about the casino that they're trying to get here at Lake of the Ozarks. Yes. Okay.
Here's an update.
An effort to bring a new casino to Lake of the Ozarks region gains momentum. A committee submitted more than 320,000 signatures to Missouri's initiative petition process, pushing for a Lake of the Ozarks casino proposal to appear on November ballots.
The Osage River gaming and convention committee says it turned in the signatures ahead of Sunday's deadline. According to a news release, the reported 320,000 are nearly double the 171,000 required in Missouri's initiative petition process.
So they got almost double. I kind of figured that was going to happen, didn't you? They've got them everywhere else.
You know, and I mean, at this point, the cat's out of the bag. You know, if you think it's leading down the road to hell or whatever, so be it. It's everywhere in Missouri anyhow, so you might as well take advantage, right?
Right. It goes on to say the Missouri Secretary of State's office now has to verify the signatures from their voters would have the opportunity to decide on the fate of a casino to a ballot question in the November 2024 general election.
According to the committee, the proposed casino would be part of a multifaceted tourism resort that also includes a hotel, convention center, restaurants and other attractions.
Like a Harris Resort or something, right? Is that what they're saying?
Yeah, something like that. Okay. The committee states that construction of the casino and all the parts would create 500 construction jobs and up to 800 permanent jobs.
Mm hmm. It's a win-win, I think, and I think you think the same thing, don't you?
Yeah, I do too, but there's just one other thing standing in the way.
Okay.
They're going to have to add the Osage River as part of, they're going to have to change the whole thing around, because right now the only casinos can be on like the Missouri and Mississippi.
The Osage where it takes it in, let's say Warsaw, right? The Osage is really wide right there. You could put a casino in there?
This is down here, just on the other side of Bagno Dam.
Oh, that's right.
Where Bagno Dam dumps out.
Uh huh.
Yeah, we're not up at the other end of Warsaw. This is down here.
So, okay, so let me get this straight. It has to be on the river. It can't be on Lake of the Ozarks. It's got to be on the river?
That's right.
Okay, so it'd be at the mouth probably. That would take some doing, but they could probably pull it off.
Well, they have to add the Osage River as part of the waterway list.
Mm hmm.
So yeah, it's going to take a little bit more, but it keeps looking more and more promising.
For instance, the Missouri meets the Kansas River at Kansas City. The Kansas River ends and it dumps into the Missouri, right?
You cannot put a casino on the Kansas River. That's not legal. It's not legal for the Carr River, but it's legal for the Missouri River.
You could put one on the Missouri side of there, but you cannot put one on the Kansas side of there because it is not cleared by the state to have a casino.
So simply, Missouri has to vote to make that waterway a casino usage area. Is that what I'm understanding?
Right, right.
Okay, all right. Well, I mean, if they have all the votes, then what is the formalities? Do they have to come up with a committee that decides that?
Does it have to go to vote? What has to happen?
No, it goes on the November general election ballot.
Oh, and for all of Missouri?
Yeah, all of Missouri gets to vote on this.
You see, I don't see any problem with that now, and here's why.
As long as all the signatures verify.
I think they will, and here's why. How many people from Kansas City, how many people from St. Louis, how many people from all of these urban areas that vote go to Lake of those arcs, and that's their playground.
Kansas can't vote, but Missouri can't. Yeah.
Yeah, so I'm thinking all of those people want the option of going to a Harris resort, or even Margarita's. Margarita's would probably put in a casino, why wouldn't they?
Yeah, they might.
Or not Margarita's, Margaritaville. Margarita's is a very nice, yeah, Margarita's is a very tasty Mexican restaurant down the road.
Okay, yeah, so Margaritaville would throw one in there, I'm sure. I mean, hell, any type of lodge or anything. They would be on the lake though.
Oh, that's right. Okay.
Well, the resort that they're going to be. They would be on the other side of Baguio Bay, and actually on the Osage River.
Okay, so I see what you're saying. That's the stick up right there, is that right there? Well, okay, if you build it, they will come, and I don't think they necessarily. The Osage is pretty wide there, isn't it?
Yeah, it's decent size.
It's lake-like, kind of, right?
Yeah, yeah.
Okay.
It's decent.
Okay, well, then, you know, I think it will still go over well. It wouldn't be quite as good of where Margaritaville is, or I don't know what's left there. Is there Tantara still there?
Yeah, it's still the buildings and everything. It's now called Margaritaville, but you know how down on the end, there used to be a bluff with some cabins that overlook the lake? Those cabins aren't there anymore.
Oh, what's there?
That's where the new Landshark bar and grill up is.
Oh, I've seen that. Oh, they were in the news during COVID for being overpacked. Yeah, yeah, I remember that. I didn't know where they were. Is Four Seasons there, too?
No, that's at Margaritaville, yeah.
Okay, okay, that's what it was. Of course, it's at Margaritaville.
That's where the back park is.
Okay. Okay, wow. Well, I think it'll pass because of what I said, and that's because everybody up here goes down there and uses that area as their playground during the weekends.
And they'd love to have gambling down there, you know, while you're slapping down some beers and a little bit of this and that and your sunburn and you don't want to be out on the lake anymore, but you don't want to sit in your cabin.
Hey, let's go gamble.
Right?
Right.
Yeah, wow. Okay, thank you, Rob.
Let's take our second break and we could do a couple of things. I have more Ask Paddlings because we really, it's been commanded because so many people have been screwing up, right?
Yeah, I mean, I have a full plate of them right here.
But I don't know if we'll get to them. We may save it for tomorrow's podcast. Oh, I don't know. You know, we'll see what happens. Anyhow, we'll be right back right after this stuff.
Introducing Rob Radd's new book, How to Track Your Enemy by Scent. That's right, smell your enemy before they get you. Order this gem now and get a free virtual tour of Rob's secret bunker in Camdenton, Missouri.
Also receive a free copy of his new book, How to Clean Raw Sewage for Food.
At age 30, you've spent a month celebrating birthdays.
Now it's time for Pick Up Lines from a Loser.
Hey girl, do you work at Subway? Cause you just gave me a footlong.
And now, a brand new feature, strange insults from an alien. May you always step in a wet spot after putting on fresh socks.
Jam X. What the hell happened? You were the generation of change. You never wanted to be one of them. At the field, spoke for you.
Hunk the man, hunk the system. What the hell happened? The generation of angst, the generation of noncompliance, is now buying a boat. You're really fed up to kill someone dangled a dollar near you. Great job Xers, everything's ruined.
Hey there, fuckstick. You're just in time for a brand new feature, news nobody gives a shit about.
Hey California girl, just got a license to carry a unicorn.
Two douchebags and a microphone says. You ever dream about eating chocolate pudding and wake up with a spoon in your ass? Just asking.
Have you ever wondered where something came from? Have you ever looked at something and said, I wonder what the origin of that is? Well so have we. That's why we give you The Origin Of.
This is the story of Dr. Pepper. Originally made in Morrison's old corner drug store in Wicom, Texas, the drink's unique flavor was a hit when it was first sold in 1885. Wade Morrison, the drug store owner, named it Dr. Pepper after Dr. Charles Pepper, a Virginia doctor who the father of a girl, Morrison, he was once in love with.
You can still go to the Dr. Pepper museum and still purchase the original formula with pure artesian well water and pure cane sugar. It's quite a treat if you're into Dr. Pepper.
The apocalypse just happened. You don't know what to do. You don't know where to go. But we can tell you what you can eat.
How to stay clean during an apocalypse. Plant oils such as cedarwood, rosewood, and rose are often added to soaps to impart their scents. The fruits of several native North American plants contain sufficient levels of saponin to produce lather and can be used as soaps or shampoos.
Two douchebags, a microphone, Mark.
And I'm Rob.
You know what we need to start doing? Calling each other the other guy's name when we sign on here. Just to screw with people. I go, two douchebags, a microphone, I'm Rob. And I'm Mark.
And I'm Mark.
Yeah. We'll have to remember to do that. I've got a story here.
I can't see if anybody catches it.
I'm sure they will. I mean, I got called out by Riley. And I should have.
I'm sure some of them.
I'm waiting to hear about my fake story.
I don't think they're going to catch it, Rob. I've got nothing on any of our fake stories. I think that these ones we disguise so well, we're going to have to start like not disguising them so well.
That way people can actually catch it.
I've got until Sunday.
I've got to come up with my fake story. I've just been too relaxed on that. I got to come up with something. So I apologize. I should have. I won the last battle.
So this time, if you guys don't win, I'm going to be two for two.
And I lost the first two. So I'm going to be even. So then after that, I can go ahead and just bury you guys. So you better catch on this one.
So, anyhow.
And the second one, I'm still.
Right now, I'm one and one.
The second one, I'm still very irritated about the only reason I got caught is because that guy worked at the Coca-Cola bottling company.
If not, he wouldn't have caught it.
Anyhow. Okay.
We can follow this in the dumbasses throwing away money file.
We've had we have quite a few of those files, don't we?
Yeah, we do.
Dumbasses just pissing money away because that's they're they're that kind of special.
All right. Star Wars, iconic blue milk, which first appeared in the 1977 original Star Wars movie, will soon be available for everyone to buy.
And you don't have to wait to visit a theme park to get it.
The milk made by the company Trumoo goes on sale in stores April 17th and a half gallon jug.
It's described as a delicious vanilla flavored milk.
Disney did not say which stores specifically will carry the special edition milk or how much it might cost.
Oh, I know how much it's going to cost is from Disney, right?
Yeah. Yeah, it's going to be very expensive and you rubes are going to run out there and get it in droves.
So anyhow, however, you can use Trumoo store locator to find out a shop near you if you're that stupid that sells the company's normal varieties and then hope they also stock the blue milk in April.
You because right now it's on backlog.
They've had so many orders that they don't have any right now.
So the first 10 shipments, the ones that don't go to stores, the ones that they sell online are sold out.
They simply cannot produce that much product.
You can see the pretty cool looking packaging depicting Luke and Vader locked in battle.
That's the only cool part about it to me.
You know, a bottle with Luke and Darth Vader locked in battle is pretty cool, right?
But I don't think it's going to be worth it.
Yeah, it's not going to be 30 worth 30 bucks or whatever the hell they charge for it.
I bet it's probably 30 or more.
So it's not going to be worth that.
But if it was just slightly more pricey than regular milk, I would go out and get it just because it's Luke and Vader in a battle on a bottle.
That would be pretty cool.
But like I said, rubes are going to run out there in droves.
It's already sold out online stores as soon as they get it.
I'm sure they're going to have people rushing in there.
They go to the store locator.
There are going to be people buying, you know, everyone that they can.
And that's just the way people lose their money is like that.
So, Rob, you got something?
Yeah, I do.
All righty.
And I do not know why this got low or whatever.
Anyway, okay, Charlie Osborne doesn't think pooping should be a shared experience in relationships.
I agree.
There are certain rules like bathroom etiquette you have to have in your relationship.
Osborne told people while promoting her family's new project, Osborne's Media House.
One of my number one rules is I don't want to know when you need to use the bathroom.
She's definitely given this some thought because she added, as far as I'm concerned, nobody poops.
It's when you break down that wall and you're having conversations about your day and while someone's pooping, the romance is gone.
Osborne will explain that some things should be kept private in romantic relationships and that includes bathroom schedules.
I couldn't agree with her more. What do you think?
No, I totally agree, too.
I don't know what brought on this conversation.
You got to listen to their podcast to really understand.
They are very bizarre. It's a very good podcast, but they really get into some in-depth stuff about human behavior and just stupid shit that people think about every day and do.
They have a lot of stories and stuff like that. It's very entertaining.
I got another podcast for you to check out, Rob. It's called Inside the Double Wide. It's the Chuck Nasty story.
He does nights on 101 The Fox.
I've heard that. I've heard about that.
It's very good. I haven't listened to the latest episode, but he basically goes through his career, his ups and downs and downs and downs and then some ups and how he screwed up a lot of things.
He was basically an afternoon shock jock.
Yeah, he was.
I mean, his attitude and everything, he wasn't long-form satire or whatever you want to call it, like the big boys did back in the day. Some of them still do, but anyhow, it's not that.
But it was a form of shock jock by the stuff that he did and said.
I mean, even now on 101 The Fox, he's calling you sexy mother Chuckers and then, oh yeah, there's my girlfriend. I don't know. He uses some hick name.
She's like going over there going, yeah, that's right, Chuck. I'm wearing my double overalls.
He's not as crazy as he used to be. He's like 70 or something like that, but he still does some stuff that's entertaining, that gives you a little chuckle, a little tongue in cheek stuff.
But anyhow, that inside the double right is very good because he's extremely honest.
He left out a little bit of stuff because I know his career very well. He was a guy that I really liked and I followed.
And I don't blame him for leaving out some of it. Yes, but anyhow, he's.
Do you remember that dance, that under 21 dance place he had over in Raymore?
Yeah, Shag Nasty's. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I do remember that. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, he was there like every Friday and Saturday night. And yeah, there are a lot of shit happened there, too.
It eventually got shut down, didn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah. Anyhow, yeah, it was kind of a bizarre place because a lot of rockers went in there and a lot of preps went in there.
And it's kind of like, I don't know, like a dry line on a thunderstorm where everything kind of explodes.
Yeah. Yeah, it was an interesting place. I liked it, but it served its time because when it started getting really weird,
it finally it finally just went away and it probably needed to at that point.
Do you know what I mean? Yeah, because of Parka lot parking lot shenanigans and other stuff.
It needed to probably cease. So anyhow, but I'm a big Chuck Nasty fan and Inside the Double Wide is a great podcast.
I think I may be two episodes behind. I'm not for sure, but I need to I need to get back on it and listen to it.
I think is, you know, it's worth a listen. And this is probably Kansas City specific.
He's been to other markets and he talks about him and stuff.
So someone from those other markets might hear and go, oh, yeah, I remember him.
But he's from Wichita and he's like, you know, closer to Kansas City than any other area that he lived in.
It sounds like, you know what I mean? He kind of kind of kind of considers Kansas City as home base.
And here he is back where he started. You know, he's back in KC on one on one the Fox.
So anyhow, and I'm still sticking to my prediction.
You know, we got George Soros over there buying all the debt of Odyssey, one of the big big media conglomerates radio wise.
OK, they're up in the air. Who knows what that dumb shit's going to do in my opinion.
I don't like him at all. No telling what he's going to do with the radio.
And like a lot of people are just giving them their their cards or get out.
Well, I'll take less money. No, get out. They're just they don't want it.
They want everything to be a jukebox, you know.
So I still predict that Johnny Deere will end up at one on one the Fox.
They are a rock station still doing well and still tried to have a good product like that with interesting people on the air and live people on the air.
Now, the pre recorded stuff or none of the tracks, you know, the the the multi, you know, one person serves 20 markets type of deal where they just insert the weather and a couple of things going on around town.
None of that stuff. They're all live people here in Kansas City doing the show.
So that's what I think is going to happen with Johnny because he's still a big talent.
He still does well in Kansas City. And I think it with Odyssey doing so poorly and then giving people their walking papers without even talking to him.
I'll bet you he ends up at the one on one the Fox. And I said this what? Maybe three months ago.
Yeah, you did. Yeah, I want to bring it again. I said it first and I'm sticking to it.
It's going to happen maybe in a year, maybe two years, maybe in two months.
But it's going to happen because one on the Fox will not let a talent like that get away.
See Skid Rowdy, Slacker. You know, they took a lot of people that they could get.
You know, Max Floyd retired, you know, Tana. I don't know. I think she retired.
I don't think she's in radio anymore. You know, they got the people they could cherry pick when at that time, 99, seven K.Y. folded.
You know, so I think that they're still interested in have a an interest in acquiring talent that makes her station better.
So I think that that's probably what's going to happen. What do you think, Rob?
I really see that. It makes sense. He's not going to go to ninety four nine KCMO.
I mean, that's not there. You know, that's like soccer mom station. I mean, I enjoy their station on the weekends.
They play 80s stuff. It's all pop, but it's cool because it's not the corporate radio bullshit that you hear all the time.
You know, it's not like three doors down. It's not like God's Mac. It's not like all that stuff.
You know, you hear like calling notes. You hear like haircut 100.
I mean, you hear all this stuff that you heard in the 80s that I didn't necessarily like in the 80s.
But it's cool hearing it again because it's somewhat fresh because it's not something you regularly hear on the radio.
But he's not going to get Johnny's not going to go there because he does not fit that soccer mom format.
You know, it's just it's just not going to happen. So I'm saying one on one the Fox,
unless some new station pops up out of nowhere to try to replace the rock. But I don't think so.
I don't think that's going to happen. I don't think people are interested in album rock or adult adult oriented rock or whatever they call it.
Active Rock, I think is what they call it now. I don't think anyone is interested in an active rock station anymore, except the Internet.
So anyhow, I got I got another story here real quick.
Texas Roadhouse name likely brings thoughts of affordable hand cut steaks,
behemoth margaritas, painted speckled floors and that famous fresh bread with cinnamon honey butter to mind.
But the ultra popular steakhouse chain is also building a reputation for serving up burgers as it eyes major growth for one of its other restaurant brands.
Bubba's 33 Bubba's 33 is a sports themed restaurant chain that was created in 2013 by Kent Taylor, the founder of Texas Roadhouse.
The restaurants offer appetizers, pizza, wings, sandwiches and a range of alcoholic beverages. And almost everything is made from scratch.
One of the biggest standouts of Bubba's 33 is the burger menu, which includes classics like a bacon cheeseburger plus more unique options.
For example, the spicy Habanero burger is made with an Angus beef patty topped with Habanero heat, sauce, fried jalapeno, cream cheese,
a charred jalapeno and onion blend and Bubba sauce, whatever that is.
I'm in. You? Yeah, me too. Sounds damn good to me.
Another thing that I'm loving is Costco has a new cheeseburger kit that is like a Slater's 50 50.
Slater's 50 50 was founded in San Diego. The last I knew the closest one to Kansas City was in Dallas area.
Maybe Mesquite or one of the Fresno or I don't know, Fresco or one of those places like that.
We had to go away. Yeah, we were working in downtown Dallas and my friend Brian that I used to work with found one and I knew nothing about it
because he he grew up in San Diego. He goes, man, he goes, we got to go to Slater 50 50.
I'm like, OK, what the what the hell is that? And what it is is a ground bacon ground chuck burger.
And it is just fantastic. Well, Costco has that now and it's in a cheeseburger kit.
It's like four big cheeseburger patties that are ground bacon and I believe ground chuck.
And it has like big slices of cheddar cheese, onions, lettuce. It's an actual cheeseburger kit.
The only thing you got to add is a bun and maybe some pickles and that thing.
I had it the other day. It is phenomenal. I'm telling you, that thing is gold.
I mean, when I opened it up, the angels sang and gold lit up the whole room.
Yeah, I opened it up and I heard a ah. No shit.
Rob, we turn to you. Please.
Well, since you were just talking about hamburgers, I'm going to talk about hot dogs. Oh, yeah.
My phone for a son of a bitch. I'm going to make goat noises while you figure out your phone.
OK, sorry. OK. The simple charm of a hot dog is undeniable.
And you can leave it to legendary poor bear Austin Meyer to elevate the magic of a Frank even further by asking one more question.
How can you add more flavor to a hot dog? They answer with their brand new line. OK.
This month, Oscar Myers launching its never before seen step dogs line featuring three new flavors that make a lot of cheese, ice and everything nice.
The three new flavors are cheese, jalapeno, cheddar and chili cheese.
Wow. The step dog flavors filled with its namesake ingredient for a boulder bite.
While we haven't had the pleasure of sampling these new creations, we are sure to take summer grilling to the next level.
Wow. That sounds perfect to me. Go ahead.
Starting this month, you can grab these new step dogs at major grocery retailers nationwide for $4.99 per eight pack.
And that's actually not as bad a price as I thought it was going to be actually for a step dog.
So it's starting this month in May?
Yeah, this month is what it says.
I'm going to go out and find them. I want to grill them on my grill. That sounds fantastic to me.
And this was published today.
OK. That's settled. I'm going to have some and anyhow, I may just drive.
That sounds good for this weekend.
I may just drive down to the lake and give you a couple and then leave.
Hey, sounds good.
Yeah. Hey, Rob. Yeah. Hey. Oh, Mark. What are you doing here? Here's your hot dogs. Bye.
I think I would prefer the chili cheese.
I would too. By the way, I forgot your Chromebook. I'll be back.
Yep. That's what I did. Forgot the Chromebook. I'm that kind of stupid.
Well, let's see now. OK, since I hit a wall with this program.
There's a snail in Florida, right? But no average snail.
Authorities took action last month after confirming that a notoriously destructive breed of mollusk,
known as the giant African land snail, was identified by a community gardener in the city of Port Richey,
a division of Florida's Department of Agriculture that manages pest control,
began to survey the region for additional snail sightings once the quarantine mandate was in place.
According to the agency, the control unit started to treat the land with baited pesticide at the end of June.
Wait a minute. I guess this is last year. At the end of June, it would have had to have been.
All right. I think I got an old story here, but I'm still going to go ahead with it.
The snails. Why not? Oh, no, no, no, no. Hang on. It's going to be all completed by the end of June.
Okay, sorry. Okay. The snails captured so far. This again, I need my glasses. And you know where they're at, Rob?
In the other room. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. You're done with it, aren't you? Yeah. Okay.
Anyhow, the snails captured so far were removed from 29 different properties, primarily located in one section of New Port Richey.
Anyhow, someone from the agency told reporters at a Thursday press conference, residents are encouraged to report any future sightings.
There will be a helpline to call at the agricultural department as officials continue to search for them.
Fully eradicating a population of giant African land snails can take years.
Florida's agriculture department has called the giant African snail one of the most damaging mollusk subtypes in the world.
It's unusually large size and the ability to procreate in vast quantities allows the creature to infiltrate surrounding areas quickly,
posting threats to vegetation and infrastructure because of its appetite for at least 500 different plants, as well as paint and stucco.
These giant snails eat paint and stucco, Rob. Holy shit.
At four months old, a snail can lay thousands of eggs at a time and each can grow to be eight inches long as an adult.
That is freaking scary. Yeah, it is. It can eat paint and stucco? What the hell?
That's insane. Hey man, what happened to your stucco, African snail laded?
What? No, no, I went out there, giant African snail was eating my stucco. Oh, bullshit. No kidding.
Yeah, you'd be looking around for pain pills or something, hallucinogenics. No way. This did not happen.
You know what? I'm going to go back to goat noises.
All right, Rob, save this program. All right. Here's one I've been sitting on for a few days.
All righty. Kind of like a turlet, right? Do what? Kind of like a turlet. You've been sitting on it, right? Yep.
All right. Okay. Same thing. All right. Sorry. When you think of outlawed directory, one of the first names that comes to mind has to be Waylon Jennings.
The embodiment of the I don't give a fuck attitude, Waylon's drug use and ways to get him in trouble sometimes.
By the time he narrowly escaped the DEA raid by flushing cocaine in a record recording studio. But he also made some pretty good friends along the way, as the story goes.
Waylon's new bouncer success and notoriety as a country music outlaw gave him the respect of the Hells Angels Motorcycle Gang to the point where they would show up at all Jennings shows.
We show up at a festival somewhere and Waylon would be like, Oh, God, here they go again. In fact, Waylon's son Shooter recalled being babysat by the Hells Angels while his dad was touring or off doing whatever.
Shooter said, I was literally being babysat by Hells Angels. They were very nice. This one guy, Hotfoot.
I remember him going to a putt putt course with me when I was a little kid. And there was another guy named Boomer who was one of the original members.
I remember from a very little age, I was like, that guy was cool. He had a cane with a skeleton on it.
He gave me a pez defensor with a skull on it because he knew how much I loved the game.
Yep. Wow. Very cool. Oh, I want to make a correction now, too.
Topher and I were talking about it. Remember I was talking about Uncle Ed, Ed Mascari that used to do that show on 41?
It was not Saturday mornings. It was Saturday night. He used to do the creature feature because I was talking about what yes.
Yeah, I can't believe it. Someone else did the morning one and I can't remember who it was.
And then after Ed Mascari went to San Diego or whatever, where he got in all that trouble, it was a lady named Creasia Mortem that was kind of tempered after Elvira.
Yeah. Yeah. I remember her.
Yeah. Yeah. I was completely wrong. He did not do mornings. He did not do cartoons. He was more shady than that, obviously.
You know, so yeah, Uncle Ed used to do Saturday nights. He did the creature feature and he's one that had caffeine and nicotine, which he eventually killed.
Anyhow, I'm not going to go into all that stuff that he did because it's very it's sick.
So anyhow, I was wrong. So anyone that realized what I said and was like, oh, he's fucked. He was not Saturday mornings. You're right. I'm fucked.
So anyhow, anyhow, let's see. What else have we got here?
I was going to make that I wanted to make that correction because I was talking to Topher about it and he's one that said, oh, yeah, he did creature feature Saturday night.
I'm like, oh, shit, I was wrong. So anyhow, oh, hey, have you got bad weather tonight?
I don't know. I know we had some last night.
We did, too. We had a lot of spin up tornadoes around here. We had like eight or nine of them.
So anyhow, not to give anything away, but Mother Nature is getting an ass paddling. She's been very bad to us lately.
I wish I had some thunderstorms. OK, good. It went on in the morning and the morning afternoon.
OK, all right. That's cool. Yeah, clear the rest of that. OK, cool.
So and I guess Kalamazoo, Michigan, which I spent some time there doing a job, was just completely just tore up by by maybe a mammoth tornado earlier today.
And then, of course, Oklahoma.
I forgot the name of the town, but two of them were destroyed.
One of them killed a few people. The other one was a bigger town and it did not. It is north of Tulsa a little ways. It was over there in what would it be northeastern Oklahoma.
Yeah, there was. Yeah, it was a pretty bad deal. So anyhow, anyhow.
So all right, I think we're going to go ahead and call it a day. What do you think, Rob?
Yeah, I'm getting a little tired.
Thank you, everybody, for listening. I know this been a weird program. I've been all over the place. But by now, you're probably used to it.
So now I give you more goat noises.
Hi, Opal. Hi, Jimmy. Hi, Ricky.
Hi, grandma. Hi, Jimmy. Hi, Ricky.
We love you guys. Dodge City, Kansas. Ra Ra Ra.
Looks like the show's over, kids. Have a good night, assholes.
You're an explosive diarrhea and can't afford a white ass mic. Hear not, assholes. They'll be back invading your ear holes soon.