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And now it's time for...

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The Daily Deucebag Pledge.

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Here at Two Deucebags in a Microphone, we don't stand behind our journalistic integrity.

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Go ahead and assume we got the story wrong. At least we admit it.

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Not like all those other guys, we can and will lie if it makes the story better.

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Two Deucebags and a Microphone.

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We Talk.

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Jesus.

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Tomorrow morning while grinding your coffee beans for your double mocha latte, remember to not get your genitals caught in the grinder.

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It really hurts. Who can afford plastic surgery?

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Stay safe everyone.

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Hey there, fuckstick. You're just in time for brand new feature news nobody gives a shit about.

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A pet turtle named Sashi is thought to be the oldest one in captivity at 120 years old.

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Jam X. What the hell happened?

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You were the generation of change.

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You never wanted to be one of them. At the feet. Spoke for you.

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Hunk the man, hunk the system. What the hell happened?

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The generation of angst, the generation of noncompliance, is now buying a boat.

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You're really fed up to kill someone dangled a dollar near you.

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Great job Xers, everything's ruined.

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Next up, Things Overheard in Hell.

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Baseball's third season of the year begins tonight.

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Yay.

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Two douchebags and a microphone. My name is Mark.

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And my name is Rob.

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Hey Rob, how's it going this morning? We're doing it this morning because I have a graduation go to this evening.

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Go ahead, I'm sorry.

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Oh, everything's going good man. Life's looking up.

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That's good, good to hear. Yeah, you sound perkier than you did before.

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Not that you never sounded horrible, you sound, I don't know, more bubbly, more happy. So that's good.

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Good, good, good.

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Okay, well what I have here is, according to Betway, the states were the rowdiest concert fans and then the states were the friendliest concert crowds, according to Betway.

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So, the number one, first I'm doing the rowdiest concert crowds and I'm not sure how they got this information.

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I guess they probably went to some concerts and observed it, I guess, maybe. That's the only way I can think.

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That and maybe critics doing reports on it, you know.

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Yeah, probably. Yeah, you're probably right. They're probably taking in several, probably numerous different denominators into account for it and then coming up with some sort of formula to come up with this.

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Okay, the number one rowdiest is Wisconsin at 13.1 and their calmest behavior is experienced, is what they're calling this. That's what Betway is calling this and this is through Loudwire that published this.

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Okay.

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Number two is Louisiana. Well, if it's anything like New Orleans and Mardi Gras, I could definitely agree with that and they came in at a 12.1.

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Yeah. Number three, and I'll tell you what, man, I agree with this and this just isn't rock concerts. This is a hip hop, they call it, I think, and hip hop and everything.

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Oklahoma comes in 11.8. Do you have experiences in Oklahoma, Rob, like I do?

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I have a few friends that live down there, but I don't spend much time down there.

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Okay, well, Oklahoma is pretty rowdy and I can agree with that 100%. I mean, and another thing about Oklahoma...

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I've heard stories.

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There's still dry counties in Oklahoma, right? So whenever these people that are in a dry county get to go drink in public, I imagine they just go nuts.

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So, anyway, Oklahoma City is a fun place. I mean, for not that big of a metroplex, you know, it really is. There's a lot to do and there's a lot of people happy running around there, so it's cool.

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Number four, and Oklahoma was 11.8, Massachusetts. They came in 11.6. Okay.

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Yeah.

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I could see Boston getting a little rowdy.

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Yeah, yeah, Boston's pretty unique. They have a lot of craft breweries there. They have a lot of stuff to do. So I could see that. Yeah, I guess it's 11.6.

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The next one, and this is probably true. I know people from Minnesota.

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Number five on the list coming in 11.6 is Minnesota. And I agree with that.

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I think that they're cooped up during the winter and part of the spring in their house. Can't really go out and do anything when they go out during the summer. You know they got to go nuts, right?

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I'm like you. I know a few people from Minnesota. I have to agree. Everyone is cool as shit, but they're nuts. Yeah, they're cool as shit, but they're crazy. But they're crazy. Yep. I love them.

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They're great. They're good people from what I've experienced. Number six, New Mexico coming in at 11.4.

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Any thoughts?

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Maybe boredom.

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Okay. Yep. Okay. Rob, I'm gonna go with that. They have nothing else going on.

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So when they go to a concert, they go net so.

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Yeah, there's distance between the towns.

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Yeah, that's true. And they don't get to see people as much as we do.

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We're kind of sick of seeing people.

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You see the same people.

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Yes, that's true. Good point. Yeah, like the rancher down the road and all that stuff.

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You know, we're here. We're sick of seeing people there. They're probably wishing they saw people.

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They're like, boy, sure would be nice to see another human around here. So anyhow, I could get it. So number six is New Mexico at 11.4.

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Number seven, and this is because they're the smallest state by far and they got a chip on their shoulder.

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Rhode Island at 11.2 and they are number seven on this list.

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Don't you think Rhode Island, you know, right across the harbor is Boston, big bad Boston.

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Yeah, you know, Rhode Island is probably like just they, you know, like Providence.

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You know, they're over there like when I'll go ahead.

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But they got to pick it up a notch. Yeah, they're looking at big brother Boston and going, we can outdo those fuckers.

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Yeah, yeah, yeah.

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Like Oklahoma City is to Dallas. You know, they built that huge Devon Energy building, which I went down there and worked on.

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And it's a huge building. So Dallas is kind of like a.

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Hey, wait a minute. I think Dallas, they had plans to build a taller skyscraper.

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But Oklahoma, from my understanding is when I was down there was they built that huge Devon Energy building that tall to have a taller building than Dallas.

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So there's kind of a rivalry, I do believe, from Rhode Island, you know, like Providence in Boston, which is right across the harbor.

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So they're probably like they probably have a chip on their shoulder and they're going nuts.

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So number eight, Maryland at eleven point one.

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Yeah, I could see that I've done I've been to Maryland numerous times and they are a unique class of people.

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You have any experience from Maryland?

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No, I do not.

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Baltimore is a fun town. Washington, D.C. is full of well, if you get away from the nutbags, you know, they're in Congress and all that.

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There seems to be a pretty tough breed of people up there.

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And I know D.C. is not necessarily Maryland, but it's right next to Maryland.

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And it's you know, it's a district. It's not a state. So I kind of entwine.

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Yeah. So and they came in number 11.1.

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I believe I mentioned that. But if I didn't, there you go.

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Number nine, Iowa at a ten point seven.

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Yeah. Yeah. Our friends in Des Moines. You guys are awesome.

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Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I've been to a couple of concerts in Iowa and they kind of remind me of Omaha.

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The people are just having a blast. They're just like going nuts.

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So going crazy. Nobody's pissed off because someone next to him screaming.

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You know, they'll probably join in if anything. Yeah.

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So, yep, I agree with that. Number ten is Florida at ten point six. I agree with that.

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Yeah. Florida is full of everybody from every place.

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You go there and you do any one of the tourist places.

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Fort Lauderdale is really bad about it. Miami is. Key West is horrible about it because everybody that lives there, not the tourists, everybody lives there is from somewhere else normally.

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Right. And people transplant to Florida because they hate the weather or whatever.

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There are a lot of New Yorkers down there. A lot of Massachusetts down there.

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You know, anywhere where it's a cold city, a lot of people have a winter house there or they just flat move there.

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So I can see that. So this is right here.

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The friendliest concert crowds, according to that way.

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Number one, and this goes with what I said a little bit ago about Omaha.

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Number one is Nebraska at two point eight. And yeah, I agree with that. What do you think?

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Yeah. Yeah. I've. The short time I've been around Omaha, I've met a lot of friendly people.

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Yeah. A lot of people from the Omaha area travel down here to Lake of the Ozarks.

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That's true. And I used to be in the kind of business. So I got to meet a lot of them, you know.

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Yeah. Yeah. They're generally pretty nice people and helpful, too. So yeah.

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And they're downtown. It's gorgeous. I love their downtown. They got a lot of parkways.

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They have. Oh, yeah. What is it? Hank, the talking bridge or something.

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And it's a pedestrian bridge. You walk halfway. You're in between Iowa.

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When you're halfway, you're half in between Iowa and half Nebraska. It's pretty good.

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It goes over the big muddy Missouri. So right.

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Anyhow, number two, South Dakota at four point nine.

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OK, I don't really know anyone from South Dakota. Do you? Not that I know of.

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No, I don't. OK. You know what?

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It's probably the same concept like you said of New Mexico.

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They don't see that many people. So when they see people, they're genuinely happy.

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Not like us. Right. Right. OK.

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Number three, good old Missouri coming in at seven.

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Have they ever been to Kansas City?

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In a concert? Yeah.

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I would say Missouri.

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Yeah. Well, I mean, this is by this is by state.

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So, I mean, that's the format that they chose.

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Maybe St. Louis and Springfield and let's see, Columbia, St. Joe and some of the bigger towns in Missouri.

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Maybe they're nicer. But Kansas City?

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I don't see it. Do you?

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Well, you have a bunch of smaller venues popping up like.

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Well, you're right. Like down there, like the Ozark Theater.

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There's different wineries around the state that have amphitheaters.

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You're right. It isn't all just the big cities.

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They probably absorb all of it and do their calculation like that.

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OK. Well, I think the rest of Missouri makes up for Kansas City and probably St. Louis.

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But I don't know. Oh, no, no, no. I have been to a concert in St. Louis.

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I saw Deep Purple there at the Harris.

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I think it's the Harris Amphitheater or something like that.

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And everybody was really nice. So, you know, maybe it is St. Louis that pads the stats on Missouri.

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Because they were really cool and helpful.

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And it was a great concert. I mean, it was Deep Purple with Alice Cooper opening up.

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And this is, I don't know, maybe 10 years ago.

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Nine years ago.

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An older venue. Yeah.

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Well, and that also probably has something to do with it, too.

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You know, there's a lot of geriatric there.

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Like when I went to Steeler Dan at a Starlight Theater.

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It was very depressing, Rob.

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There were a lot of people in walkers.

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A lot of people in wheelchairs.

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And everybody seemingly had white hair.

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It happens to the best of us.

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You're right. It happens to everybody.

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Father time carries a baseball bat.

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And the older we get, the more we realize that.

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That's true. That's true.

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Mortality is not a fun thing.

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So, we move on from there.

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Number four is Idaho at 7.1.

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I've met people from Idaho before.

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They seem like pretty centered.

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Good people. Wholesome. You know.

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So I think I can see that. They come in at 7.1 at number four.

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Number five. It must be the Mormons.

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Utah. 7.2.

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They are religious, very respectful people.

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I can say that about the Mormons.

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The ones I come in contact with have been very nice.

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They never did bother me about their religion or try to change me or anything.

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I can believe that. Utah probably is very nice people.

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Number six. Arizona.

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Arizona seems to me a lot like Florida.

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Everybody there is from somewhere else.

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I mean, especially like the old camps.

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The 55 plus camps they have there.

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You know, they're from all over the country.

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They're even from all over the world.

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A big destination for the oldy old sirs to go to is Arizona to retire.

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The reason is because Rob, you hurt, right? I hurt.

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We've done work all our life. Heavy work.

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Yeah.

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Okay. Arizona is a place where you hurt less.

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You have all these storm fronts coming in and this gravity trying to pull you to the ground.

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You know, with the barometric pressure being really low.

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Right.

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So I could see that just on that alone.

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People are transplanted and they're happy.

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Because they finally got good consistent weather.

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They're in the house that they wanted to retire in.

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Around the people they wanted to retire in.

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So I could see that.

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Not that any of them will be at a concert, but you never know.

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Steely Dan probably comes by there, right?

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Hey, you're feeling better.

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You're more apt to get out and go to a concert.

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That's true. Good point, Rob.

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Yeah.

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Okay. Arizona I could see.

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Number seven. Yeah.

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Yeah, except the Virginia.

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Virginia comes in number seven at a 7.9.

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Okay.

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Except around the DC area of Virginia where you got a lot of my opinion from what I've witnessed.

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A lot of snotty fucks.

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Other than that, you go down to Virginia Beach and stuff like that.

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And there's like naval bases there and stuff like that.

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And they're very nice people, well-centered people.

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So I think probably they didn't bother to go to DC because they didn't want to get carjacked.

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So they probably went to the nicer places in Virginia.

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So yeah, I could see that.

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I could see that too.

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Yeah. Number eight. Wyoming.

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We know there are aliens that went there from Wyoming, right?

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And I'm not talking about someone crossing the border.

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So if someone got their feathers ruffled, calm back down.

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I'm talking about from space.

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He's talking about extraterrestrials.

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Yes, thank you. I'm talking about ETs.

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So anyhow, yeah, they're all ETs.

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00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:30,000
That's how come they're so nice. They're trying to blend in.

222
00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:33,000
They don't know how humans really act, right?

223
00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:35,000
Supposedly.

224
00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:37,000
Yeah.

225
00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:38,000
Allegedly.

226
00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:39,000
I'll put that in there.

227
00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:40,000
Allegedly also.

228
00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:41,000
Yeah, allegedly.

229
00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:47,000
But I mean, I mean, to be honest, every show starts out when we have no journalistic integrity.

230
00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:50,000
And we will lie if it makes the story better.

231
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:51,000
I figured people...

232
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:53,000
I think that was fitting.

233
00:18:53,000 --> 00:19:01,000
Yes. And that's how come every one of them starts off after the Daily Douchebag Pledge comes at,

234
00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:04,000
because I feel that's important for people to know.

235
00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:07,000
Don't trust us for anything.

236
00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:08,000
Dumb move.

237
00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:12,000
So number nine, New Hampshire.

238
00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:15,000
8.3.

239
00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:18,000
Okay.

240
00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:19,000
You?

241
00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:20,000
Okay.

242
00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:24,000
Well, I do know people from New Hampshire, Jay and Cheryl.

243
00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:27,000
Very nice people, so I could see that.

244
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:28,000
Go ahead, I'm sorry.

245
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:35,000
I'm trying to remember exactly where this radio station I've been listening to is out of.

246
00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:39,000
But they're somewhere out of the Hamptons.

247
00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:40,000
So they're up in there somewhere.

248
00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:44,000
That's Hamptons is New York, isn't it? I was thinking.

249
00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:46,000
Oh well, you know what, yeah.

250
00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:47,000
Okay.

251
00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:49,000
Springfield something.

252
00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:52,000
I'd have to go in and look, find out.

253
00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:53,000
Okay.

254
00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:58,000
All right, they're rounding out the top ten, and then we'll go on to Rob's story.

255
00:19:58,000 --> 00:20:01,000
Oregon at 8.6.

256
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:05,000
And I'm saying yes, because one of our top markets is Oregon Boardman area.

257
00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:06,000
Yeah.

258
00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:11,000
We know everyone that listens to two douchebags or microphone regularly are nice people, right?

259
00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:13,000
Oh, it's got to be.

260
00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:14,000
Yeah.

261
00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:15,000
Yeah, so I would agree with that.

262
00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:17,000
Thank you, Boardman.

263
00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:22,000
You have a promo coming your way like all our other top markets.

264
00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:23,000
Still working on it.

265
00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:27,000
I just got done doing a bunch of news nobody gives a shit about.

266
00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:30,000
Oh, what else?

267
00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:34,000
Actually, Island of Horrible Jokes need to be refreshed.

268
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:36,000
So I did a few of them last night too.

269
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:39,000
So hopefully we'll get some new stuff in.

270
00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:41,000
I mean, you will.

271
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:44,000
Anyhow, Rob, we turn to you.

272
00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:45,000
All right.

273
00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:50,000
Well, seeing how it's Saturday morning, I'm going to ruin some people's Saturday morning.

274
00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:51,000
Good.

275
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:52,000
Good.

276
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:53,000
We like to do that here.

277
00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:54,000
Yes.

278
00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:56,000
Might as well start the day off right.

279
00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:57,000
Yep.

280
00:20:57,000 --> 00:21:00,000
Start it off shitty.

281
00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:06,000
Coffee drinkers across America who love not only the caffeine and coffee, but the actual

282
00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:12,000
taste of it might be in for a rude awakening sooner than later.

283
00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:22,000
According to FoodandWine.com, 26 million Americans drink a cup or more of decaf coffee per day.

284
00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:27,000
The coffee bean itself has caffeine in it naturally.

285
00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:29,000
There is no way around that.

286
00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:37,000
They found a way to side-scrub the caffeine in coffee through a process that uses methylene

287
00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:45,000
chloride, a likely carcinogen used in the decaffeination process.

288
00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:47,000
Okay.

289
00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:53,000
Currently, the FDA allows a small amount of methylene chloride to remain on beans for

290
00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:57,000
consumers, 10 parts per million.

291
00:21:57,000 --> 00:22:03,000
That tiny number is currently up for debate in terms of health and safety.

292
00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:06,000
Methylene chloride can be harmful to humans.

293
00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:14,000
It's a colorless liquid that has been proven to cause eye, skin, liver, and heart injuries

294
00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:18,000
and damage, according to the CDC.

295
00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:27,000
In January of 2024, the FDA proposed a major food change that would remove methylene chloride

296
00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:35,000
and other harmful ingredients from foods, including decaf coffee.

297
00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:37,000
Wow.

298
00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:43,000
So without this chemical, they're going to have to find another way of doing it, or you're

299
00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:46,000
just going to have to give up your decaf.

300
00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:48,000
There you go.

301
00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:50,000
Rob, thanks for ruining everybody's morning.

302
00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:54,000
Well, a lot of people's morning.

303
00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:57,000
I heard a massive deflation.

304
00:22:57,000 --> 00:22:59,000
If you hear dogs going off in the back...

305
00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:01,000
Right.

306
00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:03,000
They are starting to look into stuff like that.

307
00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:05,000
No, and I agree with it.

308
00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:09,000
Long-term stuff, and I'm glad they're finally doing it.

309
00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:11,000
Yeah, I am too.

310
00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:15,000
Health care costs are out of control, so preventative is probably the way to go.

311
00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:17,000
If you can prevent some stuff.

312
00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:21,000
If you heard the dogs going crazy, Val's sister's coming over, and we're all going to Warrensburg

313
00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:23,000
for graduation.

314
00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:27,000
So, anyhow, if you heard a bunch of dogs going nuts, that's what's happening.

315
00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:34,000
So, anyhow, let's take our first break, and then we're going to come back with an article

316
00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:37,000
and a Jeffy X list.

317
00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:38,000
Oh, cool.

318
00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:40,000
Yeah, Jeffy X.

319
00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:41,000
There's a sound on the list.

320
00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:42,000
God bless him.

321
00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:43,000
He's awesome.

322
00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:45,000
So, we'll be right back here in a couple minutes.

323
00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:18,000
Okay, so I have a shredded chicken soft taco.

324
00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:25,000
Now, I'm going to lay it flat, open it up, and then I'm going to roll it tightly the other way.

325
00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:29,000
Will it then suddenly become a taquito?

326
00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:31,000
Hmm.

327
00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:33,000
I may never know.

328
00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:42,000
Introducing Rob Radd's new book, How to Track Your Enemy by Seth.

329
00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:45,000
That's right, smell your enemy before they get you.

330
00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:50,000
Order this gem now and get a free virtual tour of Rob's secret bunker in Camdenton, Missouri.

331
00:24:50,000 --> 00:24:55,000
Also receive a free copy of his new book, How to Clean Raw Sewage for Food.

332
00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:02,000
Now it's time for Pick Up Lines from a Loser.

333
00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:03,000
Are you a parking ticket?

334
00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:05,000
You got fine written all over you.

335
00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:12,000
And now, deep thoughts with Mark.

336
00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:17,000
Hmm.

337
00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:24,000
If at first you don't succeed, maybe you shouldn't try skydiving.

338
00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:27,000
Just a thought.

339
00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:32,000
Hmm.

340
00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:39,000
This is a voice guide from your favorite podcast, Two Douchebags in a Microphone.

341
00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:43,000
People often ask us how they can find us when doing a remote broadcast.

342
00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:45,000
One, smell.

343
00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:48,000
Go to the city market and start sniffing.

344
00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:55,000
Our aroma has been described as a mixture of flea powder for goats, Tabasco sauce, and old sock with dark fuzzy urine.

345
00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:59,000
Two, look for the spot absent of patrons.

346
00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:04,000
Three, the most telling sign is a crowd of patrons vomiting uncontrollably.

347
00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:10,000
Four, just call us at 816-512-7717.

348
00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:22,000
Two Douchebags in a Microphone, I'm Mark.

349
00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:24,000
And I'm up.

350
00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:32,000
I saw this article the other day, and then Jeffy X saw it and sent me some things about this song.

351
00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:36,000
Dave and Busters, you know the food plus gaming?

352
00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:37,000
Yeah.

353
00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:38,000
Yeah.

354
00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:44,000
I mean, they're known for all their games and kids and, well, probably more adults.

355
00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:49,000
Like to go there and play the stand-up games, the board games, all of those.

356
00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:54,000
Dave and Busters are allowing patrons to place bets on the games.

357
00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:58,000
This will happen through the Dave and Busters app.

358
00:26:58,000 --> 00:27:00,000
Yeah.

359
00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:03,000
To make it a little bit more interesting, right?

360
00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:07,000
So, I mean, I think that's a great idea.

361
00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:11,000
You can see some really good rivalries going on already.

362
00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:13,000
Yeah.

363
00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:14,000
Yeah.

364
00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:16,000
I think that's a great idea.

365
00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:20,000
I don't know how they get away with it with states that don't allow gambling.

366
00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:24,000
Yeah, I see you got the legality of it.

367
00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:25,000
Well, I guess...

368
00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:27,000
That would definitely make it more interesting.

369
00:27:27,000 --> 00:27:28,000
Yeah.

370
00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:33,000
I'm going to look into it and see if it's like every state because of somehow the way they did it.

371
00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:36,000
You know, I mean, because you can call Vegas some place bets.

372
00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:38,000
So maybe it's kind of the same type of thing.

373
00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:40,000
So I don't know.

374
00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:43,000
And around here, it's so precise.

375
00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:46,000
State Line Road, you know State Line Road, right Rob?

376
00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:47,000
Yeah.

377
00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:49,000
Northbound is Missouri.

378
00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:51,000
Southbound is Kansas.

379
00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:57,000
If you're on Northbound State Line Road, your phone will not allow you to place a bet because you're in Missouri.

380
00:27:57,000 --> 00:28:01,000
If you're on Southbound, you can place a bet all day long.

381
00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:02,000
That's how precise that...

382
00:28:02,000 --> 00:28:03,000
Wow.

383
00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:04,000
Yes.

384
00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:06,000
And I heard about it and I didn't believe it.

385
00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:07,000
I was like, there's no way.

386
00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:09,000
Yes, that's true.

387
00:28:09,000 --> 00:28:11,000
That's how precise they are.

388
00:28:11,000 --> 00:28:18,000
So if you're placing bets in a air quotations illegal area, I don't know.

389
00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:19,000
You know, I don't know what happens.

390
00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:22,000
But, hey, this is what they said they're going to do.

391
00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:25,000
And there's a big article, but I didn't go into everything.

392
00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:27,000
All you really need to know is they're going to be...

393
00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:29,000
They'll allow betting on their apps.

394
00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:31,000
Oh, I think I know how.

395
00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:33,000
They don't mention money.

396
00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:34,000
I'll bet you that's it.

397
00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:40,000
They don't mention money, but you're playing, I don't know, full from down the road, right?

398
00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:43,000
You guys talk about money, each one of you, right?

399
00:28:43,000 --> 00:28:45,000
And then you place a bet online.

400
00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:47,000
Then you're like, okay, here's your 10 bucks, Phil.

401
00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:48,000
You kicked my ass.

402
00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:50,000
I think that may be how it works.

403
00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:51,000
Who knows?

404
00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:52,000
Anyhow.

405
00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:58,000
Well, Jeffy X, he came up with a list of bets that were denied by the National Gaming Committee

406
00:28:58,000 --> 00:28:59,000
out of Vegas.

407
00:28:59,000 --> 00:29:01,000
Okay, fair enough.

408
00:29:01,000 --> 00:29:02,000
All right.

409
00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:03,000
Allegedly.

410
00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:04,000
All this is allegedly.

411
00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:05,000
Okay.

412
00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:06,000
Okay.

413
00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:08,000
So, bets that were denied.

414
00:29:08,000 --> 00:29:15,000
Betting on whether a defibrillator was going to revive the person or not was turned down.

415
00:29:15,000 --> 00:29:16,000
I could see that.

416
00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:18,000
You know, guys laying on the ground having a heart attack.

417
00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:23,000
And then before the guy zaps, she's like, all right, hey, who's in, but I save him,

418
00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:25,000
and who's out?

419
00:29:25,000 --> 00:29:27,000
Right?

420
00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:30,000
Well, I would say that guy would have to stay out.

421
00:29:30,000 --> 00:29:32,000
It's everybody around watching.

422
00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:33,000
Yes.

423
00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:34,000
It's side bets.

424
00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:35,000
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

425
00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:37,000
That guy is not allowed to die.

426
00:29:37,000 --> 00:29:40,000
The guy on the, yeah, that's the one stipulation.

427
00:29:40,000 --> 00:29:42,000
The guy laying on the ground is not allowed to bet.

428
00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:43,000
Well, it did.

429
00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:46,000
No, the guy with the defibrillator is not allowed to bet.

430
00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:47,000
Oh, no shit.

431
00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:48,000
Yeah, he could.

432
00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:49,000
Everybody, yeah.

433
00:29:49,000 --> 00:29:53,000
Yeah, he could be, he could be in debt, and then the guy lying on the ground is in real

434
00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:54,000
trouble.

435
00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:55,000
So, okay.

436
00:29:55,000 --> 00:29:56,000
Yeah.

437
00:29:56,000 --> 00:29:57,000
That's a great point, Rob.

438
00:29:57,000 --> 00:30:00,000
Well, I think that's why it failed, probably.

439
00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:01,000
Okay.

440
00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:03,000
Anyhow, the next one.

441
00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:08,000
The betting line on a rural volunteer fire department response time was also denied.

442
00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:13,000
I think you have experiences with rural fire departments like I do.

443
00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:14,000
Yeah.

444
00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:17,000
To place a bet on them, I think, is easy.

445
00:30:17,000 --> 00:30:22,000
You go for the furthest amount of time and wait for the house to burn down, and then

446
00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:24,000
you bet that they show up.

447
00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:26,000
Yeah.

448
00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:28,000
Yeah, pretty much.

449
00:30:28,000 --> 00:30:29,000
Yeah.

450
00:30:29,000 --> 00:30:36,000
I know, allegedly, at a place that I might have grown up in, it was supposed to be the

451
00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:40,000
get away from your wife's club, according to people around there.

452
00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:48,000
So, there was fine people who did it, but this is all allegedly and just saying.

453
00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:49,000
So.

454
00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:50,000
All right.

455
00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:57,000
The betting on KC Pothill configuration after a downpour was too confusing and not approved.

456
00:30:57,000 --> 00:31:00,000
There's no way you could bet on them.

457
00:31:00,000 --> 00:31:03,000
There's 30 puddles right next to each other.

458
00:31:03,000 --> 00:31:04,000
There's no way.

459
00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:07,000
I mean, you have to go puddle A, B, C, D. I mean, you know.

460
00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:09,000
So, there's no way you could bet on the configuration.

461
00:31:09,000 --> 00:31:13,000
You can say, I think the puddles are going to be a T at the intersection.

462
00:31:13,000 --> 00:31:15,000
Nope, nah, they're everywhere.

463
00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:22,000
And no hope of getting them fixed because evidently Kansas City has money for a lot of

464
00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:24,000
things, except their roads, allegedly.

465
00:31:24,000 --> 00:31:25,000
So.

466
00:31:25,000 --> 00:31:28,000
Hey, it's not just Kansas City, just saying.

467
00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:30,000
Okay, no, no, I agree with that.

468
00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:31,000
It's everywhere.

469
00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:32,000
It's Missouri.

470
00:31:32,000 --> 00:31:34,000
The worst ever is Detroit.

471
00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:35,000
Oh my gosh.

472
00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:38,000
They have horrible winters up there and they seemingly never.

473
00:31:38,000 --> 00:31:41,000
These are interstates with fucking big potholes in them.

474
00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:43,000
Never seen a thing like it.

475
00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:44,000
Yeah.

476
00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:46,000
Was it interstate 75 or something?

477
00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:49,000
Anyhow, it doesn't matter.

478
00:31:49,000 --> 00:31:54,000
The betting on what meth lab was next to explode was turned down by the Bates County

479
00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:55,000
government.

480
00:31:55,000 --> 00:31:57,000
No one in the county would be able to sleep.

481
00:31:57,000 --> 00:31:58,000
I know, I know.

482
00:31:58,000 --> 00:32:05,000
I was really disappointed by this because I got a really good idea along the Miramazine

483
00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:08,000
there, a couple of supposed meth camps.

484
00:32:08,000 --> 00:32:12,000
I was putting them to blow up.

485
00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:14,000
What do you think?

486
00:32:14,000 --> 00:32:17,000
Yeah, yeah, I mean, come on.

487
00:32:17,000 --> 00:32:20,000
That's just old fashioned fun right there.

488
00:32:20,000 --> 00:32:21,000
Yeah, yeah.

489
00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:25,000
I mean, you hear a loud boom and you go there and look for the pieces.

490
00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:26,000
Yeah, I mean, yeah.

491
00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:28,000
I mean, that's good wholesome entertainment.

492
00:32:28,000 --> 00:32:31,000
I don't get what's wrong with that, do you?

493
00:32:31,000 --> 00:32:33,000
No, I don't either.

494
00:32:33,000 --> 00:32:34,000
Yeah, well, you know what?

495
00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:36,000
Some people are prudes, right?

496
00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:37,000
Yep.

497
00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:38,000
Okay.

498
00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:39,000
All right.

499
00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:40,000
Well, the next one.

500
00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:44,000
And then Bates County turned it down because they hear booms all the time.

501
00:32:44,000 --> 00:32:46,000
They become immune to it probably.

502
00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:48,000
They don't even hear them anymore.

503
00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:49,000
All right, good point.

504
00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:51,000
I'm immune to sirens.

505
00:32:51,000 --> 00:32:53,000
You know, I just don't hear them anymore.

506
00:32:53,000 --> 00:32:58,000
So because I live in Kansas City, that's why I'm immune to sirens.

507
00:32:58,000 --> 00:33:00,000
All right.

508
00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:03,000
We'll see here.

509
00:33:03,000 --> 00:33:04,000
Okay.

510
00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:09,000
The betting on the next tornado warning was denied because the constant sirens

511
00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:12,000
blocking the betting line.

512
00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:14,000
Yeah, lately.

513
00:33:14,000 --> 00:33:15,000
Yeah, I can see that.

514
00:33:15,000 --> 00:33:16,000
Yeah, lately.

515
00:33:16,000 --> 00:33:17,000
Yes.

516
00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:18,000
Yeah.

517
00:33:18,000 --> 00:33:19,000
Yeah.

518
00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:20,000
Yeah.

519
00:33:20,000 --> 00:33:24,000
Lately, Mother Nature seemed to get like a bushel of tornadoes and just sprinkle

520
00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:28,000
them randomly over a listening area in Kansas City.

521
00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:33,000
That way, any show you ever wanted to watch, you're learning about a tornado

522
00:33:33,000 --> 00:33:37,000
three counties up north.

523
00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:38,000
So.

524
00:33:38,000 --> 00:33:41,000
It could be off, it's like that every year this time.

525
00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:42,000
Yeah, you know what?

526
00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:43,000
You're right.

527
00:33:43,000 --> 00:33:47,000
It garners great ratings because people get on there to see it.

528
00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:48,000
Do what?

529
00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:51,000
Oh, people get on it to see it.

530
00:33:51,000 --> 00:33:53,000
They have people in the field driving there.

531
00:33:53,000 --> 00:33:57,000
They have Johnny Roller up in the Moose 9 chopper.

532
00:33:57,000 --> 00:33:59,000
People tune in to see the tornado.

533
00:33:59,000 --> 00:34:00,000
Right?

534
00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:01,000
Agreed?

535
00:34:01,000 --> 00:34:02,000
Right.

536
00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:03,000
Yeah.

537
00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:04,000
Right.

538
00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:05,000
Yeah.

539
00:34:05,000 --> 00:34:08,000
Anyhow, what were you saying, Rob?

540
00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:09,000
Oh, I forget now.

541
00:34:09,000 --> 00:34:10,000
Go ahead.

542
00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:11,000
Okay.

543
00:34:11,000 --> 00:34:12,000
All right.

544
00:34:12,000 --> 00:34:18,000
The bedding on the next terrestrial radio conglomerate to fold did not go through because

545
00:34:18,000 --> 00:34:22,000
it interfered with the online dishwashing applications for jocks.

546
00:34:22,000 --> 00:34:25,000
Oh, too soon?

547
00:34:25,000 --> 00:34:27,000
I can see it.

548
00:34:27,000 --> 00:34:29,000
I can see it.

549
00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:31,000
We love you, radio.

550
00:34:31,000 --> 00:34:33,000
This is where we got our idea from.

551
00:34:33,000 --> 00:34:34,000
But come on, man.

552
00:34:34,000 --> 00:34:38,000
You guys would make fun of yourself if you were still on radio, right?

553
00:34:38,000 --> 00:34:39,000
Yeah.

554
00:34:39,000 --> 00:34:40,000
Yeah.

555
00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:47,000
So anyhow, the online dishwashing apps are probably not that easy to fill out.

556
00:34:47,000 --> 00:34:51,000
So, you know, I get it.

557
00:34:51,000 --> 00:34:52,000
So, all right.

558
00:34:52,000 --> 00:34:54,000
So, we will move right along from there.

559
00:34:54,000 --> 00:35:02,000
So, anyhow, the bedding on little Skippy Bayless saying something idiotic was turned away because

560
00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:04,000
it was too easy of a bet.

561
00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:05,000
Oh, dude.

562
00:35:05,000 --> 00:35:06,000
Come on.

563
00:35:06,000 --> 00:35:07,000
Yeah.

564
00:35:07,000 --> 00:35:12,000
I mean, you would just be like, okay, today he's going to do it.

565
00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:13,000
Tomorrow he's going to do it.

566
00:35:13,000 --> 00:35:14,000
Next day he's going to do it.

567
00:35:14,000 --> 00:35:15,000
Okay, he's off Saturday and Sunday.

568
00:35:15,000 --> 00:35:17,000
Okay, Monday he's going to do it.

569
00:35:17,000 --> 00:35:21,000
I think the real bet is how many times he's going to say something idiotic.

570
00:35:21,000 --> 00:35:24,000
I see the over and under is probably about 80 per episode.

571
00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:25,000
What do you think?

572
00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:29,000
That might be what they took into consideration.

573
00:35:29,000 --> 00:35:31,000
They may have accepted that one.

574
00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:33,000
Well, I'm going to have to look into that.

575
00:35:33,000 --> 00:35:35,000
How many times instead of if he's going to.

576
00:35:35,000 --> 00:35:40,000
You know what, I'm going to have to look into that, Rob, because I'll bet you anything that

577
00:35:40,000 --> 00:35:42,000
they went ahead and approved that bet.

578
00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:43,000
I mean, that bet's great.

579
00:35:43,000 --> 00:35:44,000
Yeah, yeah.

580
00:35:44,000 --> 00:35:46,000
I think you're on to something there.

581
00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:48,000
Yeah, I would go with 80 probably.

582
00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:50,000
How long is our show?

583
00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:51,000
Two hours?

584
00:35:51,000 --> 00:35:53,000
Something like that.

585
00:35:53,000 --> 00:35:54,000
Undisputed.

586
00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:57,000
Okay, well, anyhow, if it's an hour, I'd still go 80.

587
00:35:57,000 --> 00:35:58,000
It doesn't matter.

588
00:35:58,000 --> 00:35:59,000
So, okay.

589
00:35:59,000 --> 00:36:06,000
And then the betting of two douchebags and microphone winning a Journalistic Integrity

590
00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:11,000
Award was put off because too much laughter in the voting room.

591
00:36:11,000 --> 00:36:13,000
Too soon.

592
00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:17,000
Too soon.

593
00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:19,000
Rob, I don't come up with these.

594
00:36:19,000 --> 00:36:20,000
Jeffy X does.

595
00:36:20,000 --> 00:36:21,000
I don't know what to say.

596
00:36:21,000 --> 00:36:22,000
I know.

597
00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:23,000
I'm flattened.

598
00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:29,000
Even after you gave him the flying bat suit and everything, I mean.

599
00:36:29,000 --> 00:36:31,000
At least they're laughing.

600
00:36:31,000 --> 00:36:33,000
Yeah, you know what, that's true.

601
00:36:33,000 --> 00:36:36,000
And I forgot to explain Jeffy X to everybody, so I'll do it afterwards.

602
00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:37,000
How's that?

603
00:36:37,000 --> 00:36:41,000
And then after that, I got a new mad shitter.

604
00:36:41,000 --> 00:36:43,000
Someone took the place.

605
00:36:43,000 --> 00:36:45,000
Uh oh.

606
00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:46,000
Yes.

607
00:36:46,000 --> 00:36:54,000
Rodeo CBS called right after, called the douchebags when they heard we had no Journalistic Integrity.

608
00:36:54,000 --> 00:36:57,000
Too soon?

609
00:36:57,000 --> 00:37:00,000
Too soon.

610
00:37:00,000 --> 00:37:02,000
Too soon.

611
00:37:02,000 --> 00:37:03,000
Okay.

612
00:37:03,000 --> 00:37:07,000
Jeffy X is our sleuth that goes in and uncovers all these things.

613
00:37:07,000 --> 00:37:09,000
Bad product ideas have failed.

614
00:37:09,000 --> 00:37:12,000
Stuff like this, you know, that failed.

615
00:37:12,000 --> 00:37:17,000
Anyhow, he always does this solid and comes up with these lists and we love him.

616
00:37:17,000 --> 00:37:23,000
He's always incognito, so Rob simply gave him some gifts.

617
00:37:23,000 --> 00:37:27,000
Okay, so he made embroidered underwear.

618
00:37:27,000 --> 00:37:28,000
Handmade.

619
00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:33,000
Handmade embroidered underwear with an X on the back and a Jeffy in the front.

620
00:37:33,000 --> 00:37:35,000
But that's not it.

621
00:37:35,000 --> 00:37:37,000
Wait, there's more.

622
00:37:37,000 --> 00:37:51,000
He put a special Steven Pearcy patch sewed into the inside of his embroidered underwear on the front so he could stuff a sock in there and look more manly, if you will, right?

623
00:37:51,000 --> 00:37:52,000
Yeah.

624
00:37:52,000 --> 00:38:00,000
Yeah, supposedly Steven Pearcy from Rat used to have a pouch sewed into the front of his spandex so he could fill and fool.

625
00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:04,000
But we're pretty sure that Jeffy X doesn't have to, right?

626
00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:06,000
Uh, yeah, we've met him.

627
00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:14,000
Yeah, so Rob made him some embroidered underwear and then he made him a Sgt. Pepper outfit that he refuses to take off.

628
00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:15,000
He's still wearing that constantly.

629
00:38:15,000 --> 00:38:17,000
He's a huge Beatles fan.

630
00:38:17,000 --> 00:38:18,000
It's a lie, dude. It's a lie.

631
00:38:18,000 --> 00:38:26,000
Yeah, and even when he puts his flying bat suit that you made him as a final gift, he even puts that over a Sgt. Pepper outfit.

632
00:38:26,000 --> 00:38:28,000
He refuses to take it off.

633
00:38:28,000 --> 00:38:36,000
So... Yeah, well, he told me that the extra ruffles on the suit helped in mid-flight.

634
00:38:36,000 --> 00:38:38,000
Oh, I get it. Okay.

635
00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:40,000
Yeah, yeah, he told me that. Yeah.

636
00:38:40,000 --> 00:38:42,000
Oh, okay. Well, that's great.

637
00:38:42,000 --> 00:38:44,000
And me, I'm a much more simpler man.

638
00:38:44,000 --> 00:38:49,000
I gave him enough money to buy 50 pounds of blow and 80 hookers.

639
00:38:49,000 --> 00:38:53,000
But that's if, you know, if he does that.

640
00:38:53,000 --> 00:38:56,000
We're not sure. He probably... he may have paid off some credit cards.

641
00:38:56,000 --> 00:39:03,000
But we don't break the law here at Two Douchebags and Microphone, so I could not deliberately buy him the blow and the hookers.

642
00:39:03,000 --> 00:39:07,000
So I just gave him the monetary equivalent and he can do whatever he feels like with it.

643
00:39:07,000 --> 00:39:14,000
So, and anyhow, real quick, we'll go to your story here in a second, but there's a new mad shitter, Rob.

644
00:39:14,000 --> 00:39:16,000
Yeah, I want to hear this.

645
00:39:16,000 --> 00:39:23,000
Okay. Well, there's this idiot, allegedly, that worked at Lewwood-Hurford House.

646
00:39:23,000 --> 00:39:25,000
You know, Hurford House, the steak joint?

647
00:39:25,000 --> 00:39:27,000
Yeah. Yeah.

648
00:39:27,000 --> 00:39:30,000
Allegedly, he worked there.

649
00:39:30,000 --> 00:39:35,000
Allegedly, he was putting fecal in people's food.

650
00:39:35,000 --> 00:39:41,000
And look the article up, Rob. It is disgusting.

651
00:39:41,000 --> 00:39:49,000
So I have to give the new mad shitter to him, even though I was, you know, I was accused to be in the mad shitter, but did not do it.

652
00:39:49,000 --> 00:39:53,000
So don't you agree he's the mad shitter now?

653
00:39:53,000 --> 00:39:55,000
Yeah. Yeah.

654
00:39:55,000 --> 00:39:57,000
And those of you who don't know, I'll say the story real quick.

655
00:39:57,000 --> 00:40:00,000
I mean, just listen to our programs, okay, and you'll get it.

656
00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:02,000
I've told it a hundred times.

657
00:40:02,000 --> 00:40:06,000
But I had a CPAP machine. I had the surgery.

658
00:40:06,000 --> 00:40:12,000
And anyhow, I had to take back my CPAP machine that day, otherwise, because the insurance wouldn't cover it anymore,

659
00:40:12,000 --> 00:40:16,000
because I went, you know, for an exam and they said you don't have sleep apnea anymore.

660
00:40:16,000 --> 00:40:20,000
So I had to take it back that day, otherwise I was going to get ungodly charges.

661
00:40:20,000 --> 00:40:25,000
I had to go to Clinton, Missouri, because I lived a little south of Kansas City.

662
00:40:25,000 --> 00:40:32,000
So I get there. I take it in just in time. And then on the way out, I mean, this is when 7 Highway was two lanes

663
00:40:32,000 --> 00:40:35,000
and didn't only have one station on the way out of Clinton, Missouri.

664
00:40:35,000 --> 00:40:37,000
I stopped in there. I think...

665
00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:38,000
Oh, God, that was a pain in the ass.

666
00:40:38,000 --> 00:40:43,000
Wasn't it? Yeah. And there's cops everywhere on it. You had to go 55. Otherwise, you get busted.

667
00:40:43,000 --> 00:40:47,000
So anyhow, I go in there and someone sprayed liquid shit all over the wall.

668
00:40:47,000 --> 00:40:53,000
I since found out through a nurse friend that that is a colostomy bag, how they do that.

669
00:40:53,000 --> 00:41:00,000
And anyhow, I was pissing as hard as I could so hard, I thought my urethra was going to blow up.

670
00:41:00,000 --> 00:41:05,000
And I'm gagging and this old man followed me in there and he points at the wall and he goes,

671
00:41:05,000 --> 00:41:08,000
I caught him, I caught him, I caught the mad shitter.

672
00:41:08,000 --> 00:41:10,000
And I'm like, I just got in here. There's no way.

673
00:41:10,000 --> 00:41:15,000
And I'm pissing as hard as I can and I'm hurting because I'm like dry heaving.

674
00:41:15,000 --> 00:41:17,000
And I go, I just got in here. There's no way I could.

675
00:41:17,000 --> 00:41:21,000
Pissed all over myself, but I didn't care. This old man's chirping behind me.

676
00:41:21,000 --> 00:41:24,000
I got him. I got the mad shitter. And I'm like walking out of there.

677
00:41:24,000 --> 00:41:30,000
And there's a subway that had joined it and they're all there like looking at me like I'm the mad shitter.

678
00:41:30,000 --> 00:41:33,000
So I walked up to the lady, you know, I'm like, I'm still getting my 7-up, man.

679
00:41:33,000 --> 00:41:37,000
I got an hour back to Harrisonville. Fuck that.

680
00:41:37,000 --> 00:41:39,000
You know, that's the closest place I can get something from here.

681
00:41:39,000 --> 00:41:41,000
You know, so I'm getting my 7-up.

682
00:41:41,000 --> 00:41:47,000
So I got my 7-up and I go to the front desk at the checkout and I go, I'm not the mad shitter.

683
00:41:47,000 --> 00:41:51,000
And she looked at me and she goes, sure you're not.

684
00:41:51,000 --> 00:41:56,000
So this guy takes the reins of the mad shitter. I am no longer the mad shitter.

685
00:41:56,000 --> 00:42:03,000
So Rob, we'll turn to you for something a little bit more substance and cleaner.

686
00:42:03,000 --> 00:42:04,000
Uh.

687
00:42:04,000 --> 00:42:06,000
Maybe, allegedly.

688
00:42:06,000 --> 00:42:08,000
Maybe, maybe.

689
00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:09,000
Okay.

690
00:42:09,000 --> 00:42:12,000
Because I have our dumb ass of the week.

691
00:42:12,000 --> 00:42:14,000
Oh! Hang on.

692
00:42:14,000 --> 00:42:20,000
Alright.

693
00:42:20,000 --> 00:42:22,000
Okay.

694
00:42:22,000 --> 00:42:32,000
The National Park Service issued a statement on Monday that a man who purportedly kicked a bison at Yellowstone

695
00:42:32,000 --> 00:42:42,000
and subsequently suffered minor injuries by the animal faces alcohol-related charges.

696
00:42:42,000 --> 00:42:44,000
You think?

697
00:42:44,000 --> 00:42:48,000
According to the statement,

698
00:42:48,000 --> 00:42:59,000
Purge Yoder of Idaho Falls allegedly kicked a bison in the leg while at the Park's West entrance road on April 21st.

699
00:42:59,000 --> 00:43:08,000
The statement reported that Park Rangers arrived after hearing reports about an individual harassing a herd of bison.

700
00:43:08,000 --> 00:43:14,000
The Rangers arrested Yoder and pressed four charges against him.

701
00:43:14,000 --> 00:43:20,000
Being under the influence of alcohol and endangering himself,

702
00:43:20,000 --> 00:43:27,000
disorderly conduct, approaching wildlife, and disturbing wildlife.

703
00:43:27,000 --> 00:43:32,000
According to NBC News, Yoder pleaded not guilty to the charges.

704
00:43:32,000 --> 00:43:33,000
Wow.

705
00:43:33,000 --> 00:43:41,000
Yoder was in the car with McKenna Bass, who was arrested for driving under the influence,

706
00:43:41,000 --> 00:43:47,000
failing to activate her motorcylites, and disturbing wildlife.

707
00:43:47,000 --> 00:43:53,000
Bass also maintains her innocence.

708
00:43:53,000 --> 00:43:55,000
Wow.

709
00:43:55,000 --> 00:43:59,000
Okay, I've been trashed numerous times before.

710
00:43:59,000 --> 00:44:03,000
Have you ever wanted to go fuck with a buffalo or a bison?

711
00:44:03,000 --> 00:44:08,000
Have you ever even wanted to mess with a dog, let alone a bison?

712
00:44:08,000 --> 00:44:10,000
A dog, yeah.

713
00:44:10,000 --> 00:44:12,000
Well, a dog, I'll pet and stuff like that.

714
00:44:12,000 --> 00:44:15,000
But I mean, you don't go up and try to kick a dog or a bison, right?

715
00:44:15,000 --> 00:44:16,000
No, no.

716
00:44:16,000 --> 00:44:17,000
Yeah, yeah.

717
00:44:17,000 --> 00:44:27,000
So this guy is particularly disturbing, and he deserves all the charges he gets because he's an asshole.

718
00:44:27,000 --> 00:44:29,000
Only assholes get drunk and do that.

719
00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:32,000
Go ahead, what?

720
00:44:32,000 --> 00:44:36,000
I am officially putting him up on the next ass-paddling.

721
00:44:36,000 --> 00:44:38,000
Oh, okay, hang on, hang on.

722
00:44:38,000 --> 00:44:39,000
You've got to write this down.

723
00:44:39,000 --> 00:44:41,000
You're right.

724
00:44:41,000 --> 00:44:43,000
Clarence Yoder.

725
00:44:43,000 --> 00:44:44,000
Got it.

726
00:44:44,000 --> 00:44:45,000
All right.

727
00:44:45,000 --> 00:44:47,000
Okay, you got it?

728
00:44:47,000 --> 00:44:48,000
All right.

729
00:44:48,000 --> 00:44:50,000
Got it.

730
00:44:50,000 --> 00:44:53,000
Clarence.

731
00:44:53,000 --> 00:44:54,000
Got it.

732
00:44:54,000 --> 00:44:55,000
All right, move on.

733
00:44:55,000 --> 00:44:56,000
Yoder, okay.

734
00:44:56,000 --> 00:44:58,000
That was the end of the story, by the way.

735
00:44:58,000 --> 00:45:01,000
Okay, let's see.

736
00:45:01,000 --> 00:45:11,000
Okay, what the hell was I going to...I had something I was going to go into, but I freaking forgot now, damn it.

737
00:45:11,000 --> 00:45:12,000
See?

738
00:45:12,000 --> 00:45:14,000
Got our minds off a thing, too.

739
00:45:14,000 --> 00:45:15,000
Yep, that's true.

740
00:45:15,000 --> 00:45:20,000
So, all right, let's take our second break, and we'll come right back with more stuff.

741
00:45:20,000 --> 00:45:21,000
Sounds good.

742
00:45:21,000 --> 00:45:25,000
All right, thanks.

743
00:45:25,000 --> 00:45:28,000
Our constant pursuit for a real knee-slapper.

744
00:45:28,000 --> 00:45:31,000
It's strange insults from an alien.

745
00:45:31,000 --> 00:45:32,000
Real hilarity.

746
00:45:32,000 --> 00:45:46,000
I will rescue the man my mom told me to not burn trash in the beginning.

747
00:45:46,000 --> 00:45:48,000
Have you ever wondered where something came from?

748
00:45:48,000 --> 00:45:53,000
Have you ever looked at something and said, hey, I wonder what the origin of that is?

749
00:45:53,000 --> 00:45:54,000
Well, so have we.

750
00:45:54,000 --> 00:45:58,000
That's why we gave you the origin of...

751
00:45:58,000 --> 00:46:01,000
What is the origin of Mountain Dew?

752
00:46:01,000 --> 00:46:06,000
Tennessee bottlers Barney and Ally Hartman developed Mountain Dew as a mixer in the 1940s.

753
00:46:06,000 --> 00:46:19,000
Soft drinks were sold regionally in the 1930s, and the Hartmans had difficulty in Knoxville obtaining their preferred soda to mix with liquor, preferably whiskey, so the two developed their own now known as Mountain Dew.

754
00:46:19,000 --> 00:46:31,000
Now, from his underground bunker in Camden in Missouri, stock-full of dried guts, canned food, and a couple of vibrating toys, is ramblings of a madman featuring Rob Rant.

755
00:46:31,000 --> 00:46:36,000
When you're young, you sneak out of the house to go to parties.

756
00:46:36,000 --> 00:46:42,000
When you're old, you sneak out of parties to go home.

757
00:46:42,000 --> 00:46:52,000
Somewhere in the heavens, your great-grandma Gertrude is crying because her little b-bo is listening to this film.

758
00:46:52,000 --> 00:47:01,000
Hi, all. This is Chicago. I am the most dangerous city in North America.

759
00:47:01,000 --> 00:47:05,000
You can't touch me.

760
00:47:05,000 --> 00:47:08,000
Oh, yeah? This is Kansas City here. Hold my beer, bitch.

761
00:47:08,000 --> 00:47:18,000
Oh, Lord! That man just saw a puppy in ha-

762
00:47:18,000 --> 00:47:21,000
Hey there. Don't worry. I have a clown nose.

763
00:47:21,000 --> 00:47:29,000
Oh, no! That drunk guy just hit my child!

764
00:47:29,000 --> 00:47:34,000
It's okay. I have a clown nose.

765
00:47:34,000 --> 00:47:38,000
Clown nose! Just put one on and you can do anything.

766
00:47:38,000 --> 00:47:45,000
Wanna run for office? Murder people in public? Just grab a clown nose and BAM! Everyone laughs.

767
00:47:45,000 --> 00:47:50,000
Clown noses are sold at gag stores online and pedophile conventions. Grab one today and make magic happen.

768
00:47:50,000 --> 00:47:55,000
We're just like a really funny radio show with all the funny taken out.

769
00:47:55,000 --> 00:48:05,000
The apocalypse just happened. You don't know what to do. You don't know where to go. But we can tell you what you can eat.

770
00:48:05,000 --> 00:48:12,000
Hi, all. This is Mark here. I'm usually the one telling you what to eat during an apocalypse.

771
00:48:12,000 --> 00:48:16,000
Well, this time I decided to go the other way.

772
00:48:16,000 --> 00:48:19,000
You ever consider just going to ground zero and saying, fuck it?

773
00:48:19,000 --> 00:48:26,000
Do you really want to be the guy running around looking for radioactive deer, guessing whether water is not contaminated or not?

774
00:48:26,000 --> 00:48:29,000
No food, no shelter, no nothing.

775
00:48:29,000 --> 00:48:36,000
Oh, no. There's a strong argument that says, you know what? Let's just go to ground zero and see what's for us after.

776
00:48:36,000 --> 00:48:38,000
Just a thought.

777
00:48:38,000 --> 00:48:45,000
Oh, shit. What's that over there? Oh, no. It's island of horrible jokes.

778
00:48:45,000 --> 00:48:55,000
I can't take my dog to the lake. The ducks keep attacking him.

779
00:48:55,000 --> 00:48:59,000
That's what I get for having a purebred dog.

780
00:49:09,000 --> 00:49:13,000
Please remember to go to Cole's dressing room, wait five minutes and scream,

781
00:49:13,000 --> 00:49:16,000
Hey, there's no toilet paper in here.

782
00:49:31,000 --> 00:49:38,000
We are back. Two douchebags and microphone. Hi, Opal. Hi, Jimmy. Hi, Ricky. That's what I was going to say, Rob.

783
00:49:38,000 --> 00:49:42,000
Hi, grandma. Hi, Jimmy. Hi, Ricky. Hi, Dodge City.

784
00:49:42,000 --> 00:49:47,000
Dodge City. We love you guys. Hopefully you got some rain out of these last couple of systems.

785
00:49:47,000 --> 00:49:52,000
Email me. Let me know. Love you guys. You guys are awesome. Keep listening, please.

786
00:49:52,000 --> 00:50:01,000
OK. After 15 years, Michael Irvin is no longer at the NFL Network, a source with knowledge of the situation confirmed to outkick.

787
00:50:01,000 --> 00:50:08,000
The Dallas Cowboys legend joined the league-owned media company in 2009, becoming a fixture on game day morning.

788
00:50:08,000 --> 00:50:14,000
I personally like his analysis. I think he's informative and well-spoken.

789
00:50:14,000 --> 00:50:25,000
I also met him in an elevator down at Ocean Manor and also Dennis Rodman, too, which was unfortunate because to me, Dennis Rodman, yeah.

790
00:50:25,000 --> 00:50:35,000
Yeah. Yeah. So Michael Irvin was really cool because I was wearing a Kansas City shirt and he said, I was wearing a Chiefs jersey, my homes.

791
00:50:35,000 --> 00:50:44,000
And, yeah, you from Kansas City? Yes, I am. And, you know, and I go, I couldn't see him because I just came out of the beach and there's a dark elevator.

792
00:50:44,000 --> 00:50:50,000
And I go, you sound familiar. He started laughing and his guys with him started laughing. I think they were also football players.

793
00:50:50,000 --> 00:50:58,000
They were as big as he was. And he goes, yeah, I get that a lot. So anyhow, we got to our elevator.

794
00:50:58,000 --> 00:51:11,000
Elevator, I turn around and I go, yep, yeah, I know who you are. But he was very nice. Anyhow, unlike what I think of Dennis Rodman.

795
00:51:11,000 --> 00:51:22,000
So anyhow, Irvin was previously suspended by the network last year after alleged misconduct with a woman at a Phoenix hotel while he was covering the Super Bowl.

796
00:51:22,000 --> 00:51:31,000
The Hall of Famer denied any wrongdoing and filed a $100 million lawsuit against the employee in Marriott, which was eventually settled.

797
00:51:31,000 --> 00:51:37,000
Irvin's lawyers released surveillance footage of the interaction with the employee.

798
00:51:37,000 --> 00:51:45,000
The two initially shook hands before entering the hotel bar and throughout the conversation Irvin appeared to touch her elbow twice.

799
00:51:45,000 --> 00:51:51,000
Irvin and the employee again shook hands and then she went back inside the bar a few seconds later.

800
00:51:51,000 --> 00:52:00,000
Irvin appeared to slap himself in the face three times before walking toward the main entrance to take a selfie with somebody and then back toward the lobby.

801
00:52:00,000 --> 00:52:14,000
The video provides no audio, but Marriott claimed that a visibly intoxicated Irvin made the employee visibly uncomfortable and asked her a sexually explicit question.

802
00:52:14,000 --> 00:52:28,000
Irvin and Marriott differed on the context of the conversation. Marriott says Irvin's sexually disturbing conversation, but the Hall of Famer says the conversation was never inappropriate.

803
00:52:28,000 --> 00:52:43,000
He was reinstated at the start of the 2023 NFL season, but it ultimately became his last. The move comes amid other layoffs with Andrew Siliano, Melissa Stark, Will Silva, James Palmer also got let go.

804
00:52:43,000 --> 00:52:50,000
After reading that article, at first I thought it was related to those charges. I don't think so now.

805
00:52:50,000 --> 00:53:02,000
Everybody is cutting back because no one is making money at media anymore really. Just look at radio, terrestrial radio. It's in shambles.

806
00:53:02,000 --> 00:53:09,000
There are many big morning and afternoon shows that they're not even offering contracts to.

807
00:53:09,000 --> 00:53:16,000
They're just like, you know what, we want to be a jukebox because that's what everybody wants.

808
00:53:16,000 --> 00:53:26,000
So they're a jukebox, they got one person programming like 50 stations, and then you got one jock, and then they just insert like the local time and weather and all that stuff.

809
00:53:26,000 --> 00:53:35,000
It's really depressing how the media, how it's become. So I can believe that Irvin was let go because, I mean, they just don't generate the money they used to.

810
00:53:35,000 --> 00:53:49,000
So, yeah, so I mean, it's kind of sad. And another note is, if you ever want to see Dennis Rodman or Michael Irvin, in my opinion, from what I witnessed, Ocean Manor, I talked to the consigliere there at Ocean Manor,

811
00:53:49,000 --> 00:54:01,000
and he said that the owner of Ocean Manor in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, is friends with football players and ex-players, and he allows them to stay there, I guess, for free, allegedly.

812
00:54:01,000 --> 00:54:14,000
And so, because he knows it creates buzz. Here I am on this podcast talking about it, right? So there might be a couple of people out there like, I'm going to book Ocean Manor, and it's not that high of a price of a place either.

813
00:54:14,000 --> 00:54:27,000
You can get in there maybe $130 a night, maybe a little bit less, depending on the time, you know, there's busy times, then off times. Off times you can probably get in less than that.

814
00:54:27,000 --> 00:54:31,000
And anyhow, they hang around the Tiki Bar and all that. Do what?

815
00:54:31,000 --> 00:54:34,000
Just from listening to you, I think I'm going to look into it.

816
00:54:34,000 --> 00:54:44,000
It's a cool place. They've got a great resort in the back. And also, the other thing is, and we didn't know this, I just read the article right before Val and I discovered it.

817
00:54:44,000 --> 00:54:58,000
There was a large iron cross that came ashore, this is quite a few years ago, and landed right there, right behind Ocean Manor. We didn't know that's where it was, because it said it landed on a beach.

818
00:54:58,000 --> 00:55:10,000
We didn't know it was that beach there in Fort Lauderdale. And we were going into the ocean and we spotted it, and we were like, oh my God, I just read that article and so did Val about the, they don't know where the cross came from.

819
00:55:10,000 --> 00:55:22,000
They call it their holy gift from the sea. No one claimed it, no one knows where it came from, but it's a large metal cross that washed ashore there and it's really neat. It's right behind Ocean Manor.

820
00:55:22,000 --> 00:55:35,000
And then right next door, Ocean Skies are pretty cool places to stay too. Try to get a balcony room that faces the ocean. And in the same way with Ocean Manor, you might have to pay a little bit more, but it's worth it.

821
00:55:35,000 --> 00:55:41,000
I mean, there's nothing better than sitting out there smoking a cigar, drinking a Yanling, looking at the ocean. That's my opinion.

822
00:55:41,000 --> 00:55:43,000
Sounds awesome to me.

823
00:55:43,000 --> 00:55:46,000
It is. I'll give you all the information, Rob, if you want to know that.

824
00:55:46,000 --> 00:55:47,000
Yeah.

825
00:55:47,000 --> 00:55:51,000
Anyhow, we'll turn to you for the next story, Rob.

826
00:55:51,000 --> 00:55:55,000
Okay, you ready to applaud me for the second time this morning?

827
00:55:55,000 --> 00:55:56,000
Okay.

828
00:55:56,000 --> 00:55:59,000
HAAA HAA HAA HAA

829
00:55:59,000 --> 00:56:00,000
Alright.

830
00:56:00,000 --> 00:56:02,000
I got you an American songwriter.

831
00:56:02,000 --> 00:56:06,000
Oh yeah. Alright. I got Wood, allegedly.

832
00:56:06,000 --> 00:56:10,000
I don't know if you want to say it to this one.

833
00:56:10,000 --> 00:56:13,000
Oh no, okay. I take that back.

834
00:56:13,000 --> 00:56:18,000
Five pop songs that reference nursery rhymes.

835
00:56:18,000 --> 00:56:21,000
I've got an Emmy right now.

836
00:56:21,000 --> 00:56:23,000
So go ahead.

837
00:56:23,000 --> 00:56:28,000
It's funny how I've done that this last couple.

838
00:56:28,000 --> 00:56:29,000
Yeah, yep.

839
00:56:29,000 --> 00:56:35,000
Okay. First up, Cats in the Cradle by Harry Chapin.

840
00:56:35,000 --> 00:56:36,000
Yeah.

841
00:56:36,000 --> 00:56:43,000
This song by Chapin and his wife, Sandra, is about the relationship between a father and his son.

842
00:56:43,000 --> 00:56:48,000
In the opening, Sandra, the father is too busy working to spend time with his young boy.

843
00:56:48,000 --> 00:56:53,000
In the final verse, it's the son who doesn't have enough time.

844
00:56:53,000 --> 00:56:57,000
It's a beautiful sad song about family and addiction.

845
00:56:57,000 --> 00:57:03,000
But it also seems to reference the nursery rhyme, Hey Diddle Diddle.

846
00:57:03,000 --> 00:57:10,000
I didn't know which nursery rhyme it referenced or was in the tune of.

847
00:57:10,000 --> 00:57:12,000
But yeah, I could see that now.

848
00:57:12,000 --> 00:57:14,000
Okay.

849
00:57:14,000 --> 00:57:20,000
Quote, Hey Diddle Diddle, the cat in the fiddle, the cat jump over the moon.

850
00:57:20,000 --> 00:57:27,000
The little dog laughs to see such sports and the dish went away with the spoon.

851
00:57:27,000 --> 00:57:28,000
You see.

852
00:57:28,000 --> 00:57:39,000
Chapin in the song on the 1974 album and the cat in the cradle and the silver spoon, little boy blue and the man on the moon.

853
00:57:39,000 --> 00:57:42,000
When you're coming home, dad, I don't know when.

854
00:57:42,000 --> 00:57:43,000
Okay, yeah.

855
00:57:43,000 --> 00:57:44,000
Okay.

856
00:57:44,000 --> 00:57:45,000
See you now.

857
00:57:45,000 --> 00:57:46,000
It's also brilliant, Rob.

858
00:57:46,000 --> 00:57:49,000
No royalty checks to anybody.

859
00:57:49,000 --> 00:57:51,000
Nobody owns that nursery rhyme.

860
00:57:51,000 --> 00:57:56,000
So yeah, perfect crime.

861
00:57:56,000 --> 00:57:59,000
Okay, next up, who I don't know.

862
00:57:59,000 --> 00:58:00,000
Okay.

863
00:58:00,000 --> 00:58:05,000
Peter Piper by Ron Dancy.

864
00:58:05,000 --> 00:58:06,000
Don't remember that.

865
00:58:06,000 --> 00:58:15,000
From the Rappidary Rap Group's 1986 album Raising Hell cites the well-known nursery rhyme, Peter Piper.

866
00:58:15,000 --> 00:58:21,000
You know that tongue twister all about Peter Piper picking a peck of pickled peppers.

867
00:58:21,000 --> 00:58:23,000
Hey, I actually said it.

868
00:58:23,000 --> 00:58:24,000
I can't believe it.

869
00:58:24,000 --> 00:58:25,000
You did very well, Rob.

870
00:58:25,000 --> 00:58:27,000
Very well.

871
00:58:27,000 --> 00:58:35,000
Now, Peter Piper picked peppers but Ron rapped rhymes.

872
00:58:35,000 --> 00:58:41,000
Humpty Dumpty fell down and his, that's his hard time.

873
00:58:41,000 --> 00:58:45,000
Jack the Nimble, what?

874
00:58:45,000 --> 00:58:47,000
Nimble and he was quit.

875
00:58:47,000 --> 00:58:54,000
But Jam Master much faster, Jack saw Jay's dick.

876
00:58:54,000 --> 00:59:02,000
Now Little Bo Peep cold lost her sheep and Rip Van Winkle fell to hell asleep.

877
00:59:02,000 --> 00:59:12,000
And Alice Chillin' Somewhere in Wonderland, Jack serving Jill Busta in his hand.

878
00:59:12,000 --> 00:59:13,000
Wow.

879
00:59:13,000 --> 00:59:14,000
Yeah.

880
00:59:14,000 --> 00:59:16,000
Okay, I think I do remember that.

881
00:59:16,000 --> 00:59:17,000
I didn't know the name of it.

882
00:59:17,000 --> 00:59:18,000
That's one of the Peter Piper.

883
00:59:18,000 --> 00:59:20,000
Yeah, I do remember that song.

884
00:59:20,000 --> 00:59:24,000
I remember hearing it and thinking how outrageous it was.

885
00:59:24,000 --> 00:59:31,000
A friend of mine was playing it and his Jensen speakers.

886
00:59:31,000 --> 00:59:33,000
And his Kreger wheels.

887
00:59:33,000 --> 00:59:34,000
Anyhow, go ahead.

888
00:59:34,000 --> 00:59:36,000
Only certain people would get that.

889
00:59:36,000 --> 00:59:40,000
I've never been much into rap but I'm getting into it a little bit.

890
00:59:40,000 --> 00:59:43,000
I really appreciated the out there.

891
00:59:43,000 --> 00:59:44,000
You know what I mean?

892
00:59:44,000 --> 00:59:47,000
The taking a chance and doing something like that.

893
00:59:47,000 --> 00:59:49,000
I was like, wow, this is great.

894
00:59:49,000 --> 00:59:51,000
So anyhow, go ahead.

895
00:59:51,000 --> 00:59:57,000
Okay, next up we have Humpty Dumpty by Amy Mann.

896
00:59:57,000 --> 00:59:59,000
I don't know this person either.

897
00:59:59,000 --> 01:00:00,000
Okay.

898
01:00:00,000 --> 01:00:08,000
This song from Amy Mann's 2002 album Lost in Space takes its title from the fame nursery rhyme

899
01:00:08,000 --> 01:00:11,000
about the egg who sat on the wall, Humpty Dumpty.

900
01:00:11,000 --> 01:00:17,000
The song was the album's first single and it also opens the record.

901
01:00:17,000 --> 01:00:24,000
To begin the track, which is all about the heaviness of life and love, man sings.

902
01:00:24,000 --> 01:00:31,000
Say you were split, you were split in fragments and none of the pieces would talk to you.

903
01:00:31,000 --> 01:00:35,000
Wouldn't you want to be who you had been?

904
01:00:35,000 --> 01:00:38,000
Well, baby, I want that too.

905
01:00:38,000 --> 01:00:48,000
And to conclude it, she offers all the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put baby together again.

906
01:00:48,000 --> 01:00:54,000
All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put baby together again.

907
01:00:54,000 --> 01:00:55,000
Okay.

908
01:00:55,000 --> 01:00:57,000
Unfamiliar with that, but cool.

909
01:00:57,000 --> 01:01:03,000
Yeah, I'm unfamiliar with that one too.

910
01:01:03,000 --> 01:01:04,000
Here we go.

911
01:01:04,000 --> 01:01:07,000
All the King's Horses by Dusty Springfield.

912
01:01:07,000 --> 01:01:09,000
Oh yeah, yep.

913
01:01:09,000 --> 01:01:19,000
This another song that references Humpty Dumpty, the track which is from Dusty Springfield's 2015 album Faithful,

914
01:01:19,000 --> 01:01:24,000
which was recorded in 1971, is all about heartbreak.

915
01:01:24,000 --> 01:01:28,000
It begins with Springfield singing.

916
01:01:28,000 --> 01:01:33,000
My friends keep telling me to pull myself together.

917
01:01:33,000 --> 01:01:37,000
They try to cheer me up, but it's not getting better.

918
01:01:37,000 --> 01:01:45,000
They say that time will pass and I'll love again someday, but time is standing still ever since you went away.

919
01:01:45,000 --> 01:01:52,000
Now all the King's Horses and all the King's Men, you'll never get me back together again.

920
01:01:52,000 --> 01:01:56,000
Because I just fall apart each time I look at you.

921
01:01:56,000 --> 01:02:03,000
Now all the King's Horses and all the King's Men are never going to make me smile again.

922
01:02:03,000 --> 01:02:05,000
Wow, okay.

923
01:02:05,000 --> 01:02:10,000
I remember that one. I don't remember the lyrics, but I remember that song.

924
01:02:10,000 --> 01:02:14,000
Yeah, yeah, and the same way I remember the song. I didn't remember the lyrics.

925
01:02:14,000 --> 01:02:17,000
Yeah.

926
01:02:17,000 --> 01:02:23,000
Okay, and this one I have no idea about because I've never heard this version of it.

927
01:02:23,000 --> 01:02:28,000
Country Grammar Hot Shit by Nelly.

928
01:02:28,000 --> 01:02:29,000
Okay.

929
01:02:29,000 --> 01:02:35,000
This one is the St. Louis rapper, Nelly's most popular songs.

930
01:02:35,000 --> 01:02:45,000
And one of the reasons is so is because Nelly knows how to use lyrics that relate to as many people as possible.

931
01:02:45,000 --> 01:02:53,000
One of the ways he does that is by using the children's nursery rhyme, Down Down Baby.

932
01:02:53,000 --> 01:02:54,000
Okay.

933
01:02:54,000 --> 01:02:56,000
I've never heard that one.

934
01:02:56,000 --> 01:02:57,000
Me neither.

935
01:02:57,000 --> 01:03:06,000
Stung often on the playground, the kids rhyme involves hand claps and sing.

936
01:03:06,000 --> 01:03:14,000
Down down baby, down by the roller coaster, sweet sweet baby, I'll never let you go.

937
01:03:14,000 --> 01:03:19,000
Shimmy shimmy, cocoa pop, shimmy shimmy pow.

938
01:03:19,000 --> 01:03:25,000
Shimmy shimmy, cocoa pop, shimmy shimmy pow.

939
01:03:25,000 --> 01:03:27,000
Okay, I remember that.

940
01:03:27,000 --> 01:03:30,000
I do too a little bit.

941
01:03:30,000 --> 01:03:34,000
Now, yeah.

942
01:03:34,000 --> 01:03:38,000
I know what they're referring to. Excuse me, my allergies.

943
01:03:38,000 --> 01:03:43,000
We're too poor to afford a cough button here at Two Deuce Bags and Microphone.

944
01:03:43,000 --> 01:03:45,000
Hey, I'll go ahead. What did you say?

945
01:03:45,000 --> 01:03:48,000
Well, let me go a little deeper in this one.

946
01:03:48,000 --> 01:03:49,000
Okay.

947
01:03:49,000 --> 01:03:57,000
On his famed hip hop track, which was the title track for his 2000 breakout LP, Nelly Raps.

948
01:03:57,000 --> 01:04:04,000
I'm going down down baby, go street in a range rover.

949
01:04:04,000 --> 01:04:08,000
Street sweeper baby, cock ready and let it go.

950
01:04:08,000 --> 01:04:10,000
Hot shit.

951
01:04:10,000 --> 01:04:12,000
Shimmy shimmy, cocoa what?

952
01:04:12,000 --> 01:04:13,000
Listen, dude.

953
01:04:13,000 --> 01:04:15,000
Do it, pound.

954
01:04:15,000 --> 01:04:19,000
Ride it up and take a pub pass to me now.

955
01:04:19,000 --> 01:04:24,000
I'm going down down baby, go street in a range rover.

956
01:04:24,000 --> 01:04:27,000
Street sweeper baby, cock ready and let it go.

957
01:04:27,000 --> 01:04:29,000
Shimmy shimmy, cocoa what?

958
01:04:29,000 --> 01:04:32,000
Okay, now I see why they're coming up with it.

959
01:04:32,000 --> 01:04:35,000
Yeah, yeah, I do too.

960
01:04:35,000 --> 01:04:38,000
Okay.

961
01:04:38,000 --> 01:04:39,000
Was that the?

962
01:04:39,000 --> 01:04:41,000
All right, wait. That was it for that.

963
01:04:41,000 --> 01:04:43,000
Okay.

964
01:04:43,000 --> 01:04:46,000
Excuse me here.

965
01:04:46,000 --> 01:04:51,000
Okay. Thank you, Rob. That was pretty good.

966
01:04:51,000 --> 01:04:54,000
Real quick and then I'm going to have to get off here.

967
01:04:54,000 --> 01:04:55,000
I already morning special.

968
01:04:55,000 --> 01:05:04,000
Yep. I'm going to do a couple of stories here and then I've got to start getting ready to go to Warrensburg for the graduation.

969
01:05:04,000 --> 01:05:05,000
Right.

970
01:05:05,000 --> 01:05:18,000
So rapper Osama Sun claims he is being sued by Iron Maiden after ripping off the powerslave era piece of Iron Maiden art for the cover of the deluxe edition on his latest album.

971
01:05:18,000 --> 01:05:26,000
As seen below in a screenshot of Osama Sun's Instagram story, which has since expired, news outlet,

972
01:05:26,000 --> 01:05:38,000
Kerco shared the news of an alleged lawsuit Iron Maiden is suing me. So the cover is gone. The rapper wrote lagging the band's handle or tagging the band's handle.

973
01:05:38,000 --> 01:05:43,000
Sorry, the ink is going out in this and it's kind of hard to read.

974
01:05:43,000 --> 01:05:48,000
Okay, so tagging the band's handle. Now it shows a picture here of it.

975
01:05:48,000 --> 01:05:56,000
And it it's obviously Eddie and I do remember that famous photo. I didn't remember it is off a powerslave.

976
01:05:56,000 --> 01:06:11,000
But yeah, interesting. The next post also shows the artwork for the rapper's flex music deluxe edition album, which was released in February, as well as Iron Maiden art in question.

977
01:06:11,000 --> 01:06:20,000
Also below is another screenshot of one of Osama Sun's Instagram story where he preaches positivity saying all love to Iron Maiden.

978
01:06:20,000 --> 01:06:26,000
The rapper also encouraged his fans to stop harassing the metal legends. Wow.

979
01:06:26,000 --> 01:06:37,000
So I guess people are harassing the fans of him. Osama Sun is is harassing Iron Maiden over the lawsuit. It sounds like that's what I got out of it.

980
01:06:37,000 --> 01:06:46,000
Yeah. And so that that article I got to get a new I got to find an ink cartridge somewhere because this is a different one.

981
01:06:46,000 --> 01:06:51,000
It's an older Canon. But I like it because it details everything better.

982
01:06:51,000 --> 01:06:57,000
And also you can take pages out and put in pages so I don't print up a bunch of stuff I don't need.

983
01:06:57,000 --> 01:07:03,000
And anyhow, I'm trying to locate it on Amazon or online, the specific cartridge that I need.

984
01:07:03,000 --> 01:07:11,000
And anyhow, so like if I'm kind of stuttering through some of these articles, won't my ink going out and I am not able to find an ink replacement yet a cartridge.

985
01:07:11,000 --> 01:07:16,000
So I got you. I got you. OK, cool.

986
01:07:16,000 --> 01:07:22,000
All right. I think we're going to go in and this because like I said, I gots to get ready and gets to going.

987
01:07:22,000 --> 01:07:29,000
So everybody, it's good. It's a huge auditorium. So we're going to have to get there early and get our spot and all that stuff.

988
01:07:29,000 --> 01:07:35,000
So there's going to be a lot of us. This one lets you know I bought three new Vinyl's yesterday.

989
01:07:35,000 --> 01:07:43,000
Oh, you did. What are they? I bought the original Montrose Montrose.

990
01:07:43,000 --> 01:07:49,000
73. With bad motor scooter and rock candy.

991
01:07:49,000 --> 01:07:58,000
Yep. I also bought Nazareth, Hair of the Dog. Oh, classic. Classic.

992
01:07:58,000 --> 01:08:05,000
Are you ready for this? Yes. Ozzy Osbourne, Diary of a Madman.

993
01:08:05,000 --> 01:08:10,000
Oh, that is a great album too. And I love the artwork on it.

994
01:08:10,000 --> 01:08:19,000
And the middle, the inlay, the when you open it up. Yeah, that is classic. Is it an original from back then?

995
01:08:19,000 --> 01:08:26,000
Yes, it is a 1981 original. Nice. That's what I'm doing. I'm buying all originals, man.

996
01:08:26,000 --> 01:08:32,000
And I talked to the guy. This happened to be from the same guy that I've been buying them from.

997
01:08:32,000 --> 01:08:39,000
I actually got the meeting yesterday. Okay. He's got a booth in a thrift store.

998
01:08:39,000 --> 01:08:46,000
And they've had some tents. Dude, you should have seen some of the albums they had.

999
01:08:46,000 --> 01:08:58,000
I wish I could have afforded all of them. But he's throwing a teeth and eye on me for a Wizard of Oz.

1000
01:08:58,000 --> 01:09:06,000
Does he do shirts too? He what? Does he do shirts also or just LPs?

1001
01:09:06,000 --> 01:09:26,000
Oh no. Right now it's just records. They have other music equipment. I got his card. We're going to stay in touch.

1002
01:09:26,000 --> 01:09:31,000
That's cool. I got a guy in Eureka Springs that can come up with any type of design.

1003
01:09:31,000 --> 01:09:37,000
All you got to do is take a picture of it. But he only does it on tie-dye. That's his thing.

1004
01:09:37,000 --> 01:09:43,000
And I hate tie-dye. And there's some certain designs I'm looking for. Someone could find the original.

1005
01:09:43,000 --> 01:09:51,000
Or even a copy of it that is in good condition. I have three different t-shirts that I want to buy from different eras.

1006
01:09:51,000 --> 01:09:56,000
And anyhow, he might be someone to look into. Alright, everybody, I have to go.

1007
01:09:56,000 --> 01:10:04,000
So everybody, thank you for listening. Have a great night. We'll talk to you guys on the next podcast tomorrow evening, right?

1008
01:10:04,000 --> 01:10:06,000
Tomorrow evening, my friend.

1009
01:10:06,000 --> 01:10:12,000
Alright, I will talk to you then. Good night, assholes.

1010
01:10:12,000 --> 01:10:15,000
Good night, assholes.

1011
01:10:15,000 --> 01:10:22,000
Oh no. Looks like the show's over, kids. Mark has explosive diarrhea and can't afford a wireless mic.

1012
01:10:22,000 --> 01:10:26,000
Fear not, assholes. They'll be back invading your ear holes soon.