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And now it's time for...

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The Daily Deucebag Pledge

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Here at Two Deucebags in a Microphone, we don't stand behind our journalistic integrity.

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Go ahead and assume we got the story wrong. At least we admit it.

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Not like all those other guys, we can and will lie if it makes the story better.

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Two Deucebags and a Microphone

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We Talk

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Gaze-A-S-E

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Next time you take a dump, listen to Two Deucebags in a Microphone.

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It's been proven in laboratory rats to relax your anal canal. Get in somewhere.

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Jam X

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What the hell happened?

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You were the generation of change.

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You never wanted to be one of them.

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At the feet.

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Spoke for you.

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Bunk the man.

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Bunk the system.

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What the hell happened?

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The generation of angst.

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The generation of non-compliance.

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Is now buying a boat.

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You're really fed up until someone dangled a dollar near you.

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Great job, Xers. Everything's ruined.

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Have you ever wondered where something came from?

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Have you ever looked at something and said,

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I wonder what the origin of that is? Well, so have we. That's why we give you The Origin of...

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The Origin of Socks.

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Believe it or not, the ancient Egyptians are responsible for knit socks.

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From around 300 to 500 AD were the first recorded knit socks worn by anybody in the world.

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Two douchebags and microphone. My name is Mark.

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And my name is Rob.

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Okay. I'd like to start out real quick with a neat little article that came across my board today.

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Yeah, because we are podcasters. I get a lot of podcaster news.

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And this is a big thing.

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Wilson, the ratings people, they're the people of great radio, right?

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Well, Wilson Edison Report, podcasts had 20% of ad-supported audio listening time in Q1.

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So this is ads that supported the audio. You see what I'm saying?

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Yeah.

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For Americans 18 and older, one every five minutes spent consuming ad-supported audio is from a podcast.

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That rate is even higher among the other listeners.

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Nelson Medicine Research have partnered with a new quarterly report called The Record,

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which focuses on audience consumption trends.

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It shows that among 18 to 33 year olds, 34 year olds, hang on, hang on a second.

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Okay. 18 to 34 year olds, podcasting accounted for 37% of their total listening time

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and ad-supported audio during the first quarter.

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The report says that the breakout mostly used by ad buyers 25 to 54 year olds,

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a quarter of audio listening time goes to podcasts.

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Broadcast radio is the biggest majority, but is way down.

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I could go into all the statistics, but you know, honesty just went bankrupt.

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And that idiot George Soros just bought him, so no wonder,

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no tell him what the fuck he's going to do with him.

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So anyhow, you have all these conglomerates failing because they've had all these big time radio jobs

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or no more.

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And I mean the industry is going to podcasts.

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And now you see the Nelson people or the ratings people,

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they're the people who give the great cards to radio, to terrestrial radio, right?

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They're now giving the great card to podcasts.

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Do you see what I'm saying?

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That.

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Yeah, that's exactly what he's done.

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Yeah, that is a major trend right there.

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Because once Nelson started going, okay, terrestrial radio is cool,

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but this podcast thing, we're going to have to start reporting more on it

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because it's really become a thing.

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So anyhow, I just wanted to start off with that.

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And I mean we don't have to go too deep into it.

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It's just something that I'm going to mention here

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because I believe it is very noteworthy.

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And I think it's the way that everything is going.

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Everybody wants their – they want to be able to load the stuff that they want

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and take it wherever they want and listen to it wherever they want

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with the eventual Bluetooth and all that they can.

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So once again, terrestrial radio is in trouble.

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And right now there is a law that is going through Congress

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that is trying to make new car manufacturers carry AM radio

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because they quit a couple years ago.

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Were you aware of that, Rob?

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Yeah, yeah, I was. Yeah, I was.

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But I had not heard that they're going to try and make them bring it back.

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Yeah, yeah.

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They're trying to make them bring it back.

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And that, if they fail, most of the cars will not have an AM radio in it.

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I know that you can pick up all these AM radio signals online.

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I know this.

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I know that everybody has a broadcast live button or streaming or tuning in or something.

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I know this.

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But what about the people that don't have – I don't know, that can't get bandwidth where they're at?

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Let's say they're out in the middle of Kansas, middle Oklahoma,

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and their cell phone is out raining.

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They don't have an AM radio and there's severe weather coming up.

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Let's say great food-size hail and tornadoes.

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Right, right.

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How are they going to know?

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They don't know that.

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Yeah, it very easily could happen out there.

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It's been happening out there and it's happening, I think, again tonight.

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So I pose this question.

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I know that they're kind of like we're going up against them or whatever, if you will.

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I mean, not really, but you know, they're kind of a little bit of a competition there, you know,

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with a lot of the new money like the Rogan's and stuff like that going to podcasters.

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So I guess there is a little bit of a competition probably.

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So my question is, should they save AM radio?

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I think so.

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Go ahead.

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Look, here's my thought.

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Okay.

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AM radio, well, I don't know about anywhere else, but around Kansas City,

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that's where you went to listen to your talk radio and it was some of the best shows.

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Yes, I agree.

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So yeah, I mean, I say save it.

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That's my vote.

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Well, I vote to save it too, just for the people that cannot get.

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And let me reiterate this too.

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Okay, I know you have emergency alerts on your phone.

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I get them.

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I've got them the last few weeks because all the severe weather we had around here, you know,

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it sounds like an amber alert or whatever.

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You get that tone.

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Then it says tornado has been reported in your area, tuned to local, you know, programming or whatever.

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Okay.

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Now, if you're bandwidth, if you can't pick up a signal out in somewhere nowhere, Oklahoma, Texas, Kansas,

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even Arkansas in the hills, okay, how are you going to pick up an emergency alert?

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Exactly.

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Yeah, where AM, you can pick up AM about anywhere.

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I mean, AM was, that's why they still have clear channels on AM dial is because, you know,

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it's still nationwide.

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You can get it.

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Well, if there's a national emergency, AM is the best form of radio to get anything out.

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You know, FM is a shorter, a smaller market, you know, where AM can go across the country if they turn the power up.

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There is a national emergency and there isn't really any internet going on because of circumstances like,

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oh, no, the grid going out or being blown up or something.

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Okay.

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You can turn down all the AM stations and put on two megawatt AM stations that are designed to do that.

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And you can cover all of America no matter where anybody is at, no matter where they're at.

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You can cover it with an AM station by simply doing what they used to do to clear, well, they still do to clear channel stations.

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Like, let's say there's a station, like the way I used to listen WLS at night from Chicago, the 890 signal here in Kansas City had to turn down at sundown.

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They had to turn their signal down so the clear channel 890 WLS AM could get through to here because that was a clear channel station.

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610 is a clear channel. I think 810 is a clear channel here in Kansas City.

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So, yeah, yeah, there's a lot of clear channels. I mean, still left.

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So, yeah, I think AM is essential even though it's not used every day.

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I think if there was some sort of emergency, it might be the only form that you could get any type of news out there for everybody.

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So, anyhow, I just wanted to go into that and talk about that a little bit.

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You know, podcasting has picked up so much that it's really an, you know, Odyssey is bankrupt, Soros bottom.

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The rest of the radio stations aren't doing all that hot.

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You know, what used to be billions of dollars in ad revenue are not now.

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I mean, you know, even these high price morning shows and the afternoon shows and everything, they don't get the money they used to because the ad revenue is simply not there.

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So, anyhow, yeah, I'm with you, Rob. And you know what? I mean, you got any thoughts on it?

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Douche B66, Yahoo.com. Douche B66 at Yahoo.com.

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Send us in your ideas. Tell us what you think about AM radio. Tell us we're full of shit. Tell us you're rah rah. We love you guys.

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Whatever. It doesn't matter. But just send us some feedback, man. We'd love to hear from you. Where you're at.

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What do you like about the show? What do you not like about the show?

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So, anyhow, Rob, I turn it to you.

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All right. Well, I know you and I are going to love this.

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All right. I know we're excited to get this out there. Whatever.

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And I'm hoping a lot of our listeners are going to love this.

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Okay.

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Okay. Fans of classic cartoons might have a new favorite channel.

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MeTV Toons.

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Ooh.

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You know MeTV?

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Yes, I do.

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Now they're going to have Toons.

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A new TV network dedicated to animated favorites like Looney Tunes, Scooty Doo, Tom and Jerry, and more will debut this summer.

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Nice.

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TV Line has learned. And that's where I'm getting this. A site called TV Line.

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Okay.

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The new channel for MeTV parent company, Wise Old Broadcasting Company, which will be available on over the air broadcast television.

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Yeah.

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As well as ad supporting streaming services.

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Will air beloved Warner Brothers discovery cartoons like Looney Tunes, Scooty Doo, Tom and Jerry.

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Mm hmm.

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The Flintstones.

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The Jetsons.

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Uh huh.

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Yogi Bear.

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Popeye and More along with.

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Rocky and Bullwinkle.

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Bullwinkle was a finalist in the Harry Asshole Olympics by the way. Anyhow go ahead.

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Yes.

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Casper.

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Awesome.

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Betty Boot.

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Mm hmm.

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B-Racer and others.

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MeTV Toons will officially launch on Tuesday, June 25th.

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Sold.

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I read this. I had to air this tonight.

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Dude. That's great news. Now the only thing I want is them not to fucking edit them.

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Because they did some of this, I forgot, on maybe TV land or something. And they were edited.

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Anything that was a little bit controversial. Like the Japanese pop bottle glasses, you know. All of a sudden they're not there anymore.

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Stuff like that. I don't want them edited.

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No editing. In their entirety. Like they are.

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So.

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Right.

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Anyhow. Very cool. I mean, you know, I don't support making fun of any type of race or nothing.

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But man, these are cartoons, man. I mean, they accentuate everybody being on the absurd side.

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That's why it's a cartoon. So I hope they don't take it too seriously. And I hope they just, you know, put it out there like it was originally formatted.

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So, excellent man. That sounds great. Thank you Rob. I love that.

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Alright. Yeah. I ran across that last week today. I said, man, we gotta talk about this one tonight.

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That's going up first.

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Thank you Rob. That's awesome. Man, that's great news.

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Yeah.

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And it's MeTV Toons is what it's called?

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Yeah. MeTV. Just like the channel MeTV. But it's Toons.

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Okay.

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T-O-O-N-S.

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Yeah. Not Toons as in music. Toons as in cartoons.

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Yeah. And the old ones. Just like MeTV shows the old shows.

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And when is it going to debut?

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Uh. June 25th. Tuesday, June 25th.

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Not that far away guys. Alright. Cool. Man, thank you Rob. Great news.

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You're welcome.

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Bruce Dickinson, Chastide fans who were smoking during his April 27th concert at the Opera Hall in Brasilia, Brazil.

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The Iron Maiden frontman who was out toured in support of his recent solo album, The Mandrake Project, which is excellent,

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became arrayed when air quality began affecting his performance.

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Now remember, he just beat cancer. Okay. So before he starts getting on him, thinking about it too bad there, you got to put yourself in his shoes.

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Here he is touring. He might be 70. I'm not sure. He's somewhere around 70. He's older. Okay.

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And anyhow, he beat cancer so he's probably a little bit sensitive to stuff like this. I'm just preempting this right now.

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I can't fucking breathe. Tanya O'Callaghan, Bruce's bassist, can't breathe. The singer declared as transcribed by Blabbermouth.

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The metal legend then directed by his attention to one fan in particular. You were the fucking vape over there.

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Yeah. It's not you, but please fucking do that outside alright.

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You know, if you can't stay for five minutes without having a fucking audition, then don't come.

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I do apologize for coughing. Some of you fuckers are smoking. Dickinson continued.

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I can't sing if you're going to smoke. Alright. Tanya's coughing her guts out. I'm coughing. My fucking wife is going blarg in the back there.

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Alright. It's kind of disgusting. Alright. But if you want to be disgusting, do it outside. Alright. Not in here.

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My throat's got work to do. It's got work to do. You pay good money to hear me fucking sing, not go blarg blarg.

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So, okay, and this isn't the first time he's scolded fans and I'm going to go into that, but I do think I agree with this.

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And it's because he was, he beat cancer, right? Right. Okay.

230
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He's in his latter years of his life, okay. He's worried about his health.

231
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And also, if it's a small venue, that vape stuff is very overpowering and it does suck to have to listen to, to have to smell it.

232
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It sucks bad. I mean, I've smelled it before and cannot stand it. I mean, it's...

233
00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:39,000
Right. Especially when you use so many flavors mixed together in one area.

234
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Oh, it's so preparing. And also I can feel it hurting my lungs.

235
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Yeah. Do you have the same? Yeah. You can feel it penetrating in there and not doing something good.

236
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So, I mean, I agree with Bruce Dickinson 100%. I'm not a prude.

237
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You know, if it's an outdoor venue and someone's got a little bit of weed or want to do a little vaping in back, I don't give a shit.

238
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But if it's in an indoor venue and it's a smaller venue and you're vaping like all nuts and a couple other people are, it's going to be rather overpowering.

239
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And it's very insensitive, rude, not giving a shit, selfish.

240
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So, anyhow, after the performance MCA concert, the promoter behind the show told Brazilian journalist Igor Miranda that the incident was due to a fan's vape pen accidentally exploding.

241
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They also added that the pepper spray was not used in the concert as Dickinson had suggested at another point.

242
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And this is another show that this happened at.

243
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This isn't the first time the singer had admonished his fans during Iron Maiden's 2022 concert in Athens, Greece.

244
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Dickinson called a fan as a Greek cunt and a fucking cocksucker for lighting a flare in the crowd.

245
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Well, OK, maybe his choice of words wasn't right.

246
00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:13,000
A Greek cunt is probably not a good word to use at all.

247
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But that idiot did light a flare that could have really seriously injured or killed people.

248
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So I understand his outrage, but I think he could have used a little bit different language, right?

249
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Right.

250
00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:34,000
Later that year, he called out fans for smoking weed during an Iron Maiden show in California.

251
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Dickinson said it affected bassist Steve Harris as well as himself.

252
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If you want to get completely stoned out of your fucking mind, go out the back and do it there, he said.

253
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Well, to not be hypocritical, I guess so.

254
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An outdoor venue, like I said, I don't necessarily care.

255
00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:05,000
But you know what? He's having the concert. It's his throat. He beat cancer.

256
00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:12,000
OK, I think I get it. But what do you think, Rob?

257
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His concert, he's the boss.

258
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:22,000
There you go. You know what? That's a great way of putting it, Rob. I don't know how else to put it, man. His shots.

259
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Yeah, he's the boss. It's his show.

260
00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:32,000
Yeah, OK. All right, hey, we will be right back. And guess what I've got, Rob?

261
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What you got, brother?

262
00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:36,000
Invisible ass paddlings. It's about time, isn't it?

263
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:37,000
Oh, I'm ready.

264
00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:42,000
Me too. Some people are long overdue and we are going to get to them.

265
00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:45,000
I'm in a frisky mood tonight.

266
00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:48,000
Me too. I'm ready to paddle some asses. What about you?

267
00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:50,000
I'm ready.

268
00:21:50,000 --> 00:22:13,000
All right, we'll be right back with said ass paddling.

269
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I'm going to enjoy Brick Shithouse energy drink responsibly. It's not readily available anywhere because of liability issues.

270
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Hi, all. This is Chicago. I am the most dangerous city in North America. You can't touch me.

271
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Oh, yeah? This is Kansas City here. Hold my beer, bitch.

272
00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:49,000
The apocalypse just happened. You don't know what to do. You don't know where to go. But we can tell you what you can eat.

273
00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:59,000
The wild violet is an unsung hero. Most people don't realize that the flower can be stewed to make a delicious vinegar for the fresh greens that can be picked in your front yard.

274
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The violet soap can be easily made as well. The flower is full of many essential minerals as well as vitamin A, C, and E. It is literally one of the first super foods.

275
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Two douchebags and a microphone. My name is Mark.

276
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And my name is Rob.

277
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Rob, you got a neat little story and it's going to be followed up by some invisible ass paddling. So, Rob, be my guest.

278
00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:34,000
I ran another one. Actually, at lunchtime today. Imagine that.

279
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You've heard about all the cicadas coming.

280
00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:45,000
Yeah. There's a way to remedy that.

281
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The cicadas are almost here and that means stow bellies for many animals.

282
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And that includes, could include you.

283
00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:58,000
People have been eating cicadas for centuries.

284
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Let's dive into the history.

285
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Cicadas have been on the menu in ancient Greece, China, Malaysia, Burma, Latin America, and the Congo region.

286
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Cool.

287
00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:27,000
Now, I'll tell you where to find this. This is on Columbia Daily Tribune. Anybody that wants to read it.

288
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It goes in how to safely prepare the cicadas.

289
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But here are six little recipes.

290
00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:43,000
Spicy popcorn cicada.

291
00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:48,000
Think of popcorn shrimp, but just a little buggier.

292
00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:53,000
Pour the bread, some cicadas, and fry in oil until crisp.

293
00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:55,000
Dip in cocktail sauce.

294
00:24:55,000 --> 00:24:59,000
Well, why wouldn't it work, Rob? Right? Why wouldn't it work?

295
00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:01,000
Because I could see it.

296
00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:08,000
Can you really taste popcorn shrimp anyhow? All you really taste is the breading and the oil and the spice.

297
00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:13,000
That's why you fry it. Yeah, yeah. So I could see that.

298
00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:18,000
Okay. Not that I will eat it, but I'm just saying I could see that.

299
00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:21,000
Okay, next.

300
00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:26,000
Actual cicada popcorn.

301
00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:29,000
Who doesn't love popcorn? Everybody loves popcorn.

302
00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:44,000
Cicadas and season with paprika, garlic, cayenne pepper, salt, pepper, and a little lime and add a bowl of popcorn and soy with a good movie.

303
00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:50,000
Okay. Yeah. Sure.

304
00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:54,000
Okay, next. Cicada cookies.

305
00:25:54,000 --> 00:26:02,000
All love sweets. Add some protein to your sweets by boiling and finely chopping cicadas.

306
00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:11,000
Add them to your favorite cookie recipe to turn your cookie into a meal. Kind of.

307
00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:20,000
It does make sense. It's just like the lionfish that's destroying the Gulf of Mexico. It's an invasive fish from Asia.

308
00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:24,000
Well, they found a way to combat it. It tastes pretty good.

309
00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:30,000
So they're encouraging everybody to serve it on their menus. That way hunters will go out and gather it.

310
00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:35,000
So this is the same thing. It's like you want to stop the cicadas? Make them a delicacy.

311
00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:43,000
People run out and catch the shit out of them and thin them out, right? Yeah. Yeah, makes sense.

312
00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:48,000
Especially in today's economy. This could help. Yeah, it could. Yeah. Hell yeah.

313
00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:53,000
These next two are some pretty good recipes, I think.

314
00:26:53,000 --> 00:27:00,000
See the price of shrimp anymore? A cicada is free. You go out and grab a couple and fucking deep-fry them. Yeah. Anyhow.

315
00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:06,000
Okay, next up. Stir-fry night.

316
00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:14,000
Stir-fry is a healthy dinner and you can make it even healthier by replacing your protein choice with cicadas.

317
00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:19,000
You can even make a Cajun stir-fry. Right? Yeah. Yeah.

318
00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:26,000
Boil the cicadas first and prepare your stir-fry as you normally would.

319
00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:31,000
I wonder how come they have you boil them first. Okay, and all these pan-fried stuff, they have you boil them first.

320
00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:35,000
I wonder why that is. Because you're cooking them again in the skillet.

321
00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:41,000
Yeah, but you want to make sure they're cooked. Oh, okay. Okay, gotcha. Yeah.

322
00:27:41,000 --> 00:27:46,000
Okay, that's what it is. Yeah, that's true. Okay.

323
00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:54,000
Okay, next up. Here we go. Taco Tuesday with a Buzz.

324
00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:57,000
You know where this is going. Yes, I do.

325
00:27:57,000 --> 00:28:04,000
Oil, seasoning, and then fry up some cicadas to make taco night for your family.

326
00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:08,000
Do you eat the wings at all or does it specify?

327
00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:15,000
It doesn't specify. I wonder if the wings burn off. I bet you the wings burn off.

328
00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:20,000
They're really thin. Yeah.

329
00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:28,000
I'm just wondering. Yeah, I have not read the whole thing.

330
00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:32,000
Yeah. But I have one more recipe.

331
00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:39,000
But then I do have to go in. Yeah, there is one other thing I have to mention.

332
00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:47,000
Okay. All right. Okay, next up. Cicada egg rolls.

333
00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:53,000
Why does that sound tasty? That sounds tasty. Why does that sound tasty and nothing else?

334
00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:58,000
Everything else is kind of questionable. Yeah, yeah. Oh, no.

335
00:28:58,000 --> 00:29:05,000
This one takes more effort as you'll need to make your own egg rolls, but well worth it.

336
00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:15,000
Look up your typical pork egg roll recipe and replace the pork with stir-fried cicadas.

337
00:29:15,000 --> 00:29:23,000
Wow. Okay. Okay, now here is a warning. Okay.

338
00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:36,000
If you are allergic to shellfish, you might also be allergic to cicadas since they contain similar proteins.

339
00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:39,000
Well, okay. Okay, you know what?

340
00:29:39,000 --> 00:29:42,000
So if you're allergic to shellfish, you may not want to try.

341
00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:46,000
I'll bet you anything they taste similar to shrimp then.

342
00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:52,000
I bet most bet. I bet they do. They have a shell and the proteins are similar.

343
00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:54,000
I'll bet you there's not that much difference.

344
00:29:54,000 --> 00:30:01,000
I mean, you know, I mean, if anyone that's listened a long time remember my cat burrito story, right?

345
00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:06,000
All right. Well, that night we thought it tasted pretty good until the next day when I thought about it.

346
00:30:06,000 --> 00:30:10,000
And I was like, but I can tell everybody that later after you get done here.

347
00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:14,000
I'll let everyone in on my cat burrito story for the people that have not heard of it.

348
00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:19,000
No, no, that was all I had. Oh, okay. All right. Well, that was the end of that.

349
00:30:19,000 --> 00:30:25,000
I'll bet you this would work because it's in the same category as shellfish and the same type of protein.

350
00:30:25,000 --> 00:30:28,000
So I bet it would work. So, okay.

351
00:30:28,000 --> 00:30:37,000
What I've got here is I'm pretty sure me and my buddy Steve had cat burritos one night, but we didn't think about it till the next day.

352
00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:42,000
We're at this bar down on Southwest Boulevard. I believe it's called the Oasis.

353
00:30:42,000 --> 00:30:51,000
And me and Steve got I thought Steve it was Steve's night to stay sober and Steve thought it was my night to stay sober.

354
00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:56,000
So anyhow, they're kicking everybody out. And I'm like, all right, man, here's your keys. What?

355
00:30:56,000 --> 00:31:01,000
You're driving. Huh? I thought you were driving. Oh, shit.

356
00:31:01,000 --> 00:31:07,000
So anyhow, it's the type of area that Steve didn't want to leave his truck in, you know, so we had to get the truck home at night.

357
00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:11,000
So, you know, if not, we would have called an Uber or whatever, a taxi.

358
00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:16,000
And took that home and been fine. Right. So they were like, oh, shit.

359
00:31:16,000 --> 00:31:22,000
Well, so we're walking towards the truck and there's this guy at the corner selling burritos.

360
00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:28,000
Okay. And he had hot sauce and all this stuff. So I'm like, hey, man, I got an idea.

361
00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:32,000
Let's go over here, buy some of these burritos, get the hot sauce on it, eat it.

362
00:31:32,000 --> 00:31:36,000
And by the time we're done, the hot sauce will price sober us up quite a bit.

363
00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:38,000
So he's like, all right, good idea.

364
00:31:38,000 --> 00:31:44,000
So we go over there and the guy, you know, took a couple of burritos out of the cooler, threw some of that little green sauce on it.

365
00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:48,000
Just burnt the hell out of you. So anyhow, we eat it's really good.

366
00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:53,000
And anyhow, like, wow, that was that was really good. I wonder what meat that was.

367
00:31:53,000 --> 00:31:57,000
And we're like, I don't know, man. So go home at night, wake up the next day.

368
00:31:57,000 --> 00:32:03,000
Talking to Steve, I go, man, that was a weird texture, wasn't it? Like, yeah.

369
00:32:03,000 --> 00:32:15,000
Well, I remember seeing in the in the alleyway there, a little hibachi and a BB gun.

370
00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:22,000
So, is it rat, cat or pigeon burritos? You take your pick.

371
00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:28,000
But I'm pretty sure that's what it was. I could see all three down there.

372
00:32:28,000 --> 00:32:33,000
You got the pigeons up in the highway bridges. Yeah.

373
00:32:33,000 --> 00:32:42,000
Yeah. How much that guy took him and just shot whatever he could, whether it was a rat or a pigeon or a cat, cut it up,

374
00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:47,000
seared it into their hibachi, made the burritos and sold it to idiots like us.

375
00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:53,000
Because after after the fact, we got to thinking there's nobody else buying from him.

376
00:32:53,000 --> 00:32:59,000
Only us. So everyone else knew.

377
00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:03,000
Hey, look, look at Amigo over there. He's buying the cat burritos.

378
00:33:03,000 --> 00:33:08,000
Ha ha ha. And we're like, you know, oh, my God, this stuff is so good, man.

379
00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:13,000
This is so good. So anyhow. All right.

380
00:33:13,000 --> 00:33:19,000
Excuse me. My allergies are horrible. I don't have a cough button.

381
00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:28,000
Everybody is. Yeah, we're too poor to afford a cough button here at two douchebags and microphone talk is cheap studio.

382
00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:32,000
So you're just going to have to hear me cough and gag and wheeze.

383
00:33:32,000 --> 00:33:37,000
So anyhow, like promised a little bit before, we have invisible last palanquin.

384
00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:41,000
That sound good, Rob? Oh, that's awesome. All right.

385
00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:46,000
Well, OK, I'm going to tell the story of this because a lot of people just started listening.

386
00:33:46,000 --> 00:33:50,000
Listenership has probably tripled in the last month, if not quadrupled.

387
00:33:50,000 --> 00:33:53,000
And thank you, whoever spreading the word. Thank you.

388
00:33:53,000 --> 00:34:01,000
Places like Purdue, Canada, Canada, Boardman, Ash Ashland, Des Moines, all you guys.

389
00:34:01,000 --> 00:34:04,000
Kansas City is still doing decent. Harrisonville is off the hook.

390
00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:07,000
You guys tune in so much. Thank you all.

391
00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:10,000
You're getting a promo for every one of you guys, each individually.

392
00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:15,000
We appreciate you guys. So, OK, here's what happened to the new people.

393
00:34:15,000 --> 00:34:19,000
Christopher and I started this podcast a couple of years ago now.

394
00:34:19,000 --> 00:34:25,000
And about four deep, we decided to do an invisible as paddling section.

395
00:34:25,000 --> 00:34:30,000
And this is where people that need as paddling's we turn invisible.

396
00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:34,000
We grab them and we paddle their ass because they need it. OK.

397
00:34:34,000 --> 00:34:39,000
We deem who needs it. And then we go out and seek these individuals out and we paddle their ass.

398
00:34:39,000 --> 00:34:46,000
We use Old Sparky, which is a replica of the one that was used at my high school.

399
00:34:46,000 --> 00:34:52,000
It was a huge paddle with holes in it that hurt like hell.

400
00:34:52,000 --> 00:34:55,000
I know. I've had it administered to me enough times.

401
00:34:55,000 --> 00:35:00,000
Very painful. So this is a paddle that we use, a replica of Old Sparky.

402
00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:06,000
Old Sparky is in the trophy case at Midway High, I do believe, still.

403
00:35:06,000 --> 00:35:11,000
So a lot of bottoms have been really, really affected by that.

404
00:35:11,000 --> 00:35:20,000
So anyhow, with that Old Sparky replica paddle, here's how we started this thing.

405
00:35:20,000 --> 00:35:25,000
Christopher and I was walking along the beach. It was in the morning.

406
00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:32,000
The sun was rising. The slight wind was blowing through our hair and the sun was glistening on top of our hair.

407
00:35:32,000 --> 00:35:36,000
And we were not holding hands, although Rob and his brother keeps swearing we were.

408
00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:40,000
We were not holding hands. We were just simply walking on the beach.

409
00:35:40,000 --> 00:35:41,000
Suddenly...

410
00:35:41,000 --> 00:35:44,000
Listen how you just told that story.

411
00:35:44,000 --> 00:35:47,000
It was a delicate moment. It doesn't mean we had been holding hands.

412
00:35:47,000 --> 00:35:50,000
I could see you staring in his eyes the way you told it.

413
00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:55,000
No, it was a delicate moment. And I stubbed my toe on this bottle.

414
00:35:55,000 --> 00:35:59,000
I'm like, oh shit, oh man. And I fold down. I'm screaming.

415
00:35:59,000 --> 00:36:03,000
And Topher's like, hey, that looks like a genie bottle. I'm like, no, it isn't.

416
00:36:03,000 --> 00:36:08,000
So I get up hobbling around and I go over there and I go, oh shit, I think it is.

417
00:36:08,000 --> 00:36:13,000
Looks just like a genie's bottle. So I uncork it and poof, this genie comes out, right?

418
00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:19,000
So the genie's very condescending. He hates us. You could tell he couldn't stand us rogues.

419
00:36:19,000 --> 00:36:20,000
He's like, ugh, you know.

420
00:36:20,000 --> 00:36:24,000
So anyhow, me and Topher are like, hey, man, we get three wishes.

421
00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:27,000
And he rolls his eyes and he goes, no you don't. You get one wish.

422
00:36:27,000 --> 00:36:31,000
You guys watch too much TV. And one wish and one wish only.

423
00:36:31,000 --> 00:36:36,000
And I suggest you use it wisely. He pretty much said use it wisely, idiots.

424
00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:43,000
So he said like maybe solving world peace, maybe the environment, something, you know.

425
00:36:43,000 --> 00:36:45,000
He said do something that makes a difference.

426
00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:49,000
Topher and I automatically looked at each other and said, we want to turn invisible

427
00:36:49,000 --> 00:36:51,000
so we can ass paddle people that needs it.

428
00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:59,000
The genie looked down at the ground, sighed, very well, I have to give it to you.

429
00:36:59,000 --> 00:37:02,000
He shook his head and he reluctantly gave us that power.

430
00:37:02,000 --> 00:37:06,000
So once a month, Christopher and I can turn invisible.

431
00:37:06,000 --> 00:37:09,000
And now Rob is doing it with me.

432
00:37:09,000 --> 00:37:14,000
So we turn invisible and we hold these people down and we paddle their ass because they need it.

433
00:37:14,000 --> 00:37:16,000
And this is where this list comes from.

434
00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:22,000
So, alright, invisible ass paddlings. They've been on this before and they're coming back

435
00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:26,000
because their tour is winding down and I got to looking at the ticket prices

436
00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:30,000
and it's just fucking astronomical and ridiculous.

437
00:37:30,000 --> 00:37:38,000
The Eagles, as in the band, for ridiculous ticket prices and pricing the average fan out of the venue.

438
00:37:38,000 --> 00:37:43,000
They get it again. I mean, I know I've given ass paddling before.

439
00:37:43,000 --> 00:37:47,000
This time they're going in the Hall of Fame, don't you think?

440
00:37:47,000 --> 00:37:48,000
Alright.

441
00:37:48,000 --> 00:37:55,000
Alright. So anyone that's with the Eagles currently, it's not like Joe Walsh or Glen Fry's gone,

442
00:37:55,000 --> 00:38:06,000
but the people that are with the Eagles currently that decided to just completely fucking fleece the fans

443
00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:10,000
for those outrageous prices, they all get the ass paddling.

444
00:38:10,000 --> 00:38:17,000
So next will be JP Morgan Chase for using existing customer's information, allegedly,

445
00:38:17,000 --> 00:38:25,000
to form a new company, allegedly, and sell said information to sell to, allegedly.

446
00:38:25,000 --> 00:38:35,000
They have a new company, supposedly from what I read, that they are going to be introducing this information to ads.

447
00:38:35,000 --> 00:38:41,000
They're like, okay, well, Mark is a 50-something male, Midwest, so we think he likes trucks.

448
00:38:41,000 --> 00:38:47,000
So they're going to target me for these advertisements and they're going to sell my info the way it sounds like, allegedly.

449
00:38:47,000 --> 00:38:50,000
So they get ass paddling for that.

450
00:38:50,000 --> 00:38:52,000
Okay.

451
00:38:52,000 --> 00:38:53,000
Yep.

452
00:38:53,000 --> 00:38:54,000
I'll do that.

453
00:38:54,000 --> 00:39:08,000
Yeah. Number three, Sean Ono-Lennon and James McCartney, that would be Paul's son and John's son, for putting out music that tarnishes the Beatles family.

454
00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:13,000
Horrible new song. They should have never even bothered. They should have left it alone.

455
00:39:13,000 --> 00:39:19,000
They put out horrible music. It tarnishes all of the Beatles family. They should have left it alone.

456
00:39:19,000 --> 00:39:22,000
I read a story about that today.

457
00:39:22,000 --> 00:39:28,000
Okay. Yoko's garbage is actually worse, but no one wanted to get close enough to her to paddle her.

458
00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:30,000
Understood, right?

459
00:39:30,000 --> 00:39:37,000
Oh, definitely. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, she might start singing and like, you know, blow your ear down.

460
00:39:37,000 --> 00:39:39,000
I think I might pass on that one.

461
00:39:39,000 --> 00:39:46,000
Yeah. Yeah. Me too. Yeah. Yeah. So, Yoko should have gotten an ass paddling, but no one wants to get close enough to her.

462
00:39:46,000 --> 00:39:48,000
Yeah. We can't handle that.

463
00:39:48,000 --> 00:39:51,000
No. No. So, we left it alone.

464
00:39:51,000 --> 00:40:00,000
Bulls GM Brandon Bean for having a no trade clause in Stavon Diggs' trade request, but then trading to the Chiefs

465
00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:05,000
so we could get this speedy worthy out of Texas who we wanted all along.

466
00:40:05,000 --> 00:40:10,000
And besides that, we don't overpay for receivers. Ask Tyreek Hill.

467
00:40:10,000 --> 00:40:13,000
You know, he's wanting all this money and we got rid of him.

468
00:40:13,000 --> 00:40:17,000
Subsequently, won two Super Bowls ever since.

469
00:40:17,000 --> 00:40:23,000
So, that Brandon Bean thing, it was just stupid to even do that.

470
00:40:23,000 --> 00:40:28,000
We were not going to overpay Stavon Diggs. He wanted a big payday. We were not going to do it.

471
00:40:28,000 --> 00:40:30,000
That is not what the Chiefs do.

472
00:40:30,000 --> 00:40:34,000
Patrick Mahomes makes receivers, not the other way around.

473
00:40:34,000 --> 00:40:37,000
So, anyhow, he gets an ass paddling.

474
00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:41,000
Almost put him in the Hall of Fame, but he needs to fuck up one more time.

475
00:40:41,000 --> 00:40:44,000
If he screws up one more time, he gets the Hall of Fame. Is that agreed?

476
00:40:44,000 --> 00:40:46,000
Agreed.

477
00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:47,000
All right.

478
00:40:47,000 --> 00:40:54,000
Next on the ass paddling list, Chief, no, not Chief, Chef, I spelled it wrong.

479
00:40:54,000 --> 00:40:56,000
I'm sorry. I'm sorry, people.

480
00:40:56,000 --> 00:41:04,000
Chef Zach Lamon for coming up with cicadas menus such as apple, almonds, blueberry, vingourette

481
00:41:04,000 --> 00:41:12,000
with roasted cicadas, and Cajun mustard and soy sauce sautee once again with cicadas

482
00:41:12,000 --> 00:41:16,000
and once again, parting rooms with their credit card money.

483
00:41:16,000 --> 00:41:21,000
So, this isn't the same, we talked about we had an article that was similar, right?

484
00:41:21,000 --> 00:41:22,000
It's not the same article.

485
00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:23,000
Yeah.

486
00:41:23,000 --> 00:41:28,000
This is one of the chefs that came up with the cicada menu, and he gets an ass paddling just for doing it.

487
00:41:28,000 --> 00:41:34,000
But whoever did yours, I kind of, I think that that's a little bit more in line, like the popcorn cicada and all that.

488
00:41:34,000 --> 00:41:37,000
So, he doesn't get an ass paddling.

489
00:41:37,000 --> 00:41:39,000
Zach Lamon does.

490
00:41:39,000 --> 00:41:42,000
So, all righty.

491
00:41:42,000 --> 00:41:50,000
Then next, college students that hate America, but then want to pay off America to pay off their student debts.

492
00:41:50,000 --> 00:41:52,000
Hey, idiots, it can't be both.

493
00:41:52,000 --> 00:41:53,000
No.

494
00:41:53,000 --> 00:41:57,000
You know, I could protest for rocks and garner 3,000 college students.

495
00:41:57,000 --> 00:41:59,000
They're that fucking brain dead.

496
00:41:59,000 --> 00:42:00,000
They're that stupid.

497
00:42:00,000 --> 00:42:01,000
They're that big of rubes.

498
00:42:01,000 --> 00:42:08,000
Anyone that says death to America enchants the end of America and then wants us to pay for their college,

499
00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:10,000
fuck you.

500
00:42:10,000 --> 00:42:12,000
Go to Russia and do that.

501
00:42:12,000 --> 00:42:13,000
See how easy that is?

502
00:42:13,000 --> 00:42:14,000
Go to China and do that.

503
00:42:14,000 --> 00:42:18,000
Go to China and protest and then demand they pay off your student loans.

504
00:42:18,000 --> 00:42:23,000
After they behead you, you know, it's fucking ridiculous.

505
00:42:23,000 --> 00:42:24,000
Fuck everyone, you idiots.

506
00:42:24,000 --> 00:42:26,000
Okay, anyhow.

507
00:42:26,000 --> 00:42:33,000
Ticketmaster Live Nation for again astronomical ticket prices and the bullshit dynamic pricing.

508
00:42:33,000 --> 00:42:36,000
Have you heard about the dynamic pricing?

509
00:42:36,000 --> 00:42:37,000
Yes, I have.

510
00:42:37,000 --> 00:42:41,000
Yeah, so they could they could say one day, well, you know what?

511
00:42:41,000 --> 00:42:45,000
This event is coming down to two days away.

512
00:42:45,000 --> 00:42:46,000
Tickets are going really fast.

513
00:42:46,000 --> 00:42:48,000
So we're going to raise it by 100 bucks.

514
00:42:48,000 --> 00:42:51,000
If you want one of these tickets, it was $50.

515
00:42:51,000 --> 00:42:53,000
Now it's $150.

516
00:42:53,000 --> 00:42:57,000
Dynamic pricing is bullshit and Ticketmaster is bullshit.

517
00:42:57,000 --> 00:43:04,000
And I've got a story we'll go into either this podcast or the next about bands that are standing up to Ticketmaster.

518
00:43:04,000 --> 00:43:06,000
And I agree with them 100 percent.

519
00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:09,000
They're trying to find alternative ways of selling venues.

520
00:43:09,000 --> 00:43:14,000
The problem is is Live Nation and Ticketmaster are the same organization now.

521
00:43:14,000 --> 00:43:18,000
They've been bought and Ticketmaster is bought by Live Nation, I believe.

522
00:43:18,000 --> 00:43:20,000
So now they have a powerhouse.

523
00:43:20,000 --> 00:43:22,000
They control it all and it's bullshit.

524
00:43:22,000 --> 00:43:25,000
So allegedly and all that good shit.

525
00:43:25,000 --> 00:43:26,000
Okay.

526
00:43:26,000 --> 00:43:34,000
Cheeseball Man in New York and all the brain dead rubes that watched this idiot for hours.

527
00:43:34,000 --> 00:43:38,000
You knew that was coming.

528
00:43:38,000 --> 00:43:42,000
You knew that was coming.

529
00:43:42,000 --> 00:43:44,000
Cheeseball Man.

530
00:43:44,000 --> 00:43:50,000
People watch this guy eat a whole jar of cheese balls with a mask.

531
00:43:50,000 --> 00:43:54,000
You know what?

532
00:43:54,000 --> 00:43:55,000
Yeah.

533
00:43:55,000 --> 00:43:56,000
Yeah.

534
00:43:56,000 --> 00:43:57,000
Okay.

535
00:43:57,000 --> 00:43:59,000
We're going to get every fan that was there and paddle them to.

536
00:43:59,000 --> 00:44:00,000
How's that?

537
00:44:00,000 --> 00:44:04,000
Okay, not only Cheeseball Man.

538
00:44:04,000 --> 00:44:06,000
Yes.

539
00:44:06,000 --> 00:44:14,000
We're going to get facial recognition from the streetlights and we're going to find every one of them and ask paddle them in the next month.

540
00:44:14,000 --> 00:44:16,000
So.

541
00:44:16,000 --> 00:44:17,000
Okay.

542
00:44:17,000 --> 00:44:18,000
Next.

543
00:44:18,000 --> 00:44:21,000
John Five for even thinking he could fill mixed Mars shoes.

544
00:44:21,000 --> 00:44:26,000
Motley Crue was in the Hall of Fame for their new horrible song Dogs of War.

545
00:44:26,000 --> 00:44:27,000
Is not.

546
00:44:27,000 --> 00:44:39,000
So Dogs of War should be in the Hall of Fame too and Dogs of War their song gets an ass paddling and John Five gets an ass paddling for even thinking he could even start to fill mixed Mars shoes.

547
00:44:39,000 --> 00:44:40,000
Agreed.

548
00:44:40,000 --> 00:44:41,000
Okay.

549
00:44:41,000 --> 00:44:43,000
And the song itself gets an ass paddling.

550
00:44:43,000 --> 00:44:49,000
We're going to figure out a way to take the song and sequester it and ass paddle it.

551
00:44:49,000 --> 00:44:53,000
It's going to be the first time it's ever been done that a song has been ass paddled.

552
00:44:53,000 --> 00:44:57,000
But we're going to figure it out Rob.

553
00:44:57,000 --> 00:45:00,000
I guess I may have an idea to talk about.

554
00:45:00,000 --> 00:45:01,000
Okay.

555
00:45:01,000 --> 00:45:02,000
All right.

556
00:45:02,000 --> 00:45:03,000
Oh, real quick.

557
00:45:03,000 --> 00:45:07,000
Have you had any luck on that silo that Montrose is looking for?

558
00:45:07,000 --> 00:45:08,000
No, I have not.

559
00:45:08,000 --> 00:45:09,000
Okay.

560
00:45:09,000 --> 00:45:10,000
All right.

561
00:45:10,000 --> 00:45:11,000
I just want to.

562
00:45:11,000 --> 00:45:12,000
Those are hard to come by.

563
00:45:12,000 --> 00:45:13,000
Okay.

564
00:45:13,000 --> 00:45:15,000
And then finally.

565
00:45:15,000 --> 00:45:18,000
Oh, I know silos are hard to come from come by anymore.

566
00:45:18,000 --> 00:45:19,000
They don't make them really anymore.

567
00:45:19,000 --> 00:45:21,000
They have the big bands and that's it.

568
00:45:21,000 --> 00:45:26,000
Anyhow, so finally, and you probably would have known this if you listened to last show,

569
00:45:26,000 --> 00:45:32,000
the Korean women that lost hundreds of thousands of dollars to an AI deep fake of Elon Musk.

570
00:45:32,000 --> 00:45:36,000
How stupid can you be?

571
00:45:36,000 --> 00:45:42,000
She gets an ass paddling and she's broke and gets ass paddled.

572
00:45:42,000 --> 00:45:45,000
So we got a trip to North Korea.

573
00:45:45,000 --> 00:45:53,000
That is the end of said ass paddling.

574
00:45:53,000 --> 00:45:56,000
Once again, you're welcome America.

575
00:45:56,000 --> 00:45:57,000
You're welcome.

576
00:45:57,000 --> 00:46:00,000
As part of the obvious people that need it.

577
00:46:00,000 --> 00:46:04,000
And there's a bunch more that I did not get to that's going to be on next month's because

578
00:46:04,000 --> 00:46:08,000
there's a lot of idiots running around out there that deserved ass paddling.

579
00:46:08,000 --> 00:46:11,000
So let's take our second break Rob.

580
00:46:11,000 --> 00:46:15,000
And let's come back with more stuff.

581
00:46:15,000 --> 00:46:16,000
Sound good?

582
00:46:16,000 --> 00:46:17,000
Sounds good.

583
00:46:17,000 --> 00:46:22,000
Alright, we'll be right back.

584
00:46:22,000 --> 00:46:29,000
And now, deep thoughts with Mark.

585
00:46:29,000 --> 00:46:34,000
How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

586
00:46:34,000 --> 00:46:40,000
I may never know.

587
00:46:40,000 --> 00:46:44,000
Next up, things overheard in hell.

588
00:46:44,000 --> 00:46:48,000
Well that new handsome CD is just a laptop.

589
00:46:48,000 --> 00:46:49,000
Uh huh.

590
00:46:49,000 --> 00:46:55,000
Now, from the makers of the Who-Mit-My-Asshole board game comes the Rob Rad Jigsaw Fuzzle.

591
00:46:55,000 --> 00:46:57,000
That's right, put Rob back together.

592
00:46:57,000 --> 00:47:04,000
This brilliant glossy photo of Rob wearing a loin cloth in a rain forest is the perfect stocking stuffer.

593
00:47:04,000 --> 00:47:08,000
Order now and get a free butt plug keychain.

594
00:47:08,000 --> 00:47:13,000
Two douchebags in a microphone invade your ear holes in.

595
00:47:13,000 --> 00:47:16,000
Hey, who took a dump in the cooler?

596
00:47:16,000 --> 00:47:19,000
Our constant pursuit for a real knee slapper.

597
00:47:19,000 --> 00:47:22,000
It's strange insults from an alien.

598
00:47:22,000 --> 00:47:24,000
Real hilarity.

599
00:47:24,000 --> 00:47:30,000
If you were a spice, you would be flour.

600
00:47:30,000 --> 00:47:33,000
Hey look, I think we found land.

601
00:47:33,000 --> 00:47:35,000
Oh my god, I think we're safe.

602
00:47:35,000 --> 00:47:37,000
Oh no.

603
00:47:37,000 --> 00:47:39,000
This is the island of horrible jokes.

604
00:47:39,000 --> 00:47:43,000
I'm going to get you all right.

605
00:47:43,000 --> 00:47:49,000
Why did the belt go to jail?

606
00:47:49,000 --> 00:47:52,000
Because it held up a pair of pants.

607
00:47:52,000 --> 00:47:55,000
Hehehehehehe.

608
00:47:55,000 --> 00:47:58,000
You're all aware of the Amber Alert, right?

609
00:47:58,000 --> 00:48:01,000
Well get rid of your disinfectants and rubber bedspreads kids.

610
00:48:01,000 --> 00:48:04,000
It's the all new Amber Heard Alert system.

611
00:48:04,000 --> 00:48:10,000
This fantastic early warning device helps one stay dry and rid of all those annoying mattress invoices.

612
00:48:10,000 --> 00:48:15,000
Simply hook up to child under six or psychopath and wait for the running water sound.

613
00:48:15,000 --> 00:48:18,000
This clever machine has three distinct settings.

614
00:48:18,000 --> 00:48:22,000
Bablin Brooks, ocean waves and roaring river for those close call.

615
00:48:22,000 --> 00:48:33,000
Order today and get a free Cinnabon Renuze It Cartridge.

616
00:48:33,000 --> 00:48:43,000
Two thimble dicks and a crash cart will be right back.

617
00:48:43,000 --> 00:48:45,000
Hey there fuckstick.

618
00:48:45,000 --> 00:48:49,000
You're just in time for brand new feature news nobody gives a shit about.

619
00:48:49,000 --> 00:48:59,000
In Tulupo, Mississippi, a structural steel company built a small bridge to go over a pothole that had been on the road for three years.

620
00:48:59,000 --> 00:49:03,000
Have you ever wondered where something came from?

621
00:49:03,000 --> 00:49:07,000
Have you ever looked at something and said, hey I wonder what the origin of that is?

622
00:49:07,000 --> 00:49:09,000
Well so have we.

623
00:49:09,000 --> 00:49:13,000
That's why we give you The Origin Of.

624
00:49:13,000 --> 00:49:15,000
This is the origin of the Big Mac.

625
00:49:15,000 --> 00:49:25,000
The original Big Mac sauce was created in 1968 out of McDonald's in Pittsburgh by a franchise owner named Jim Delegati to serve with the Big Mac itself.

626
00:49:25,000 --> 00:49:37,000
The sauce first came in two different flavors but then they were ultimately combined by McDonald's head honcho Ray Kroc in 1972 in order to ensure consistency.

627
00:49:37,000 --> 00:49:45,000
Hi Rob.

628
00:49:45,000 --> 00:49:47,000
Rob you got a story you want to go into?

629
00:49:47,000 --> 00:49:53,000
Because right after then I have 16 experiences that boomers went through that millennials have no clue about.

630
00:49:53,000 --> 00:49:59,000
Alright, yeah that one right in front of me.

631
00:49:59,000 --> 00:50:01,000
Alrighty.

632
00:50:01,000 --> 00:50:07,000
And this is from our friends at KHMO 1070.

633
00:50:07,000 --> 00:50:09,000
We love them.

634
00:50:09,000 --> 00:50:13,000
We're most in September.

635
00:50:13,000 --> 00:50:15,000
Alright.

636
00:50:15,000 --> 00:50:25,000
Okay, I may like to speed now and then, okay more than I should probably, but I am just going with the flow of traffic.

637
00:50:25,000 --> 00:50:33,000
At least that's what I tell myself, but I have never gone over the speed limit like one motorist did in Missouri.

638
00:50:33,000 --> 00:50:35,000
Okay.

639
00:50:35,000 --> 00:50:47,000
People get speeding tickets all the time but nothing like what's on record as the fastest speeding ticket so far that was given in Missouri.

640
00:50:47,000 --> 00:50:49,000
Okay.

641
00:50:49,000 --> 00:51:05,000
Back in April 2020 the driver of a Dodge Charger was caught speeding over 78 mile an hour over the speed limit.

642
00:51:05,000 --> 00:51:07,000
Wow.

643
00:51:07,000 --> 00:51:09,000
Okay.

644
00:51:09,000 --> 00:51:15,000
I get scared when I go over five miles speed limit, but could you imagine 78.

645
00:51:15,000 --> 00:51:21,000
Now you know why I didn't want that challenger that they ran and gave me the letter on.

646
00:51:21,000 --> 00:51:23,000
I'm like this is too much temptation.

647
00:51:23,000 --> 00:51:25,000
I got you Rob, I hear you.

648
00:51:25,000 --> 00:51:27,000
Go ahead, I'm sorry.

649
00:51:27,000 --> 00:51:39,000
Okay, this driver was caught doing 148 mile an hour on Missouri Highway 65, Pettis County around Sedalia area.

650
00:51:39,000 --> 00:51:41,000
Oh wow.

651
00:51:41,000 --> 00:51:47,000
On average Missourians are pulled over daily for going over 100.

652
00:51:47,000 --> 00:51:54,000
It doesn't say what the drivers' ability was, but I can imagine it was pretty hefty ticket.

653
00:51:54,000 --> 00:51:57,000
Does it say if it was on 50 highway or I-70?

654
00:51:57,000 --> 00:52:00,000
I bet you it's on 50 highway because I-70 you can't really do that.

655
00:52:00,000 --> 00:52:03,000
The truckers have that block constantly.

656
00:52:03,000 --> 00:52:05,000
It was on 65.

657
00:52:05,000 --> 00:52:07,000
Oh okay, that makes sense.

658
00:52:07,000 --> 00:52:08,000
Okay.

659
00:52:08,000 --> 00:52:09,000
Yeah.

660
00:52:09,000 --> 00:52:13,000
65 is a pretty good run there, four lanes, north and south.

661
00:52:13,000 --> 00:52:14,000
Yeah.

662
00:52:14,000 --> 00:52:15,000
Okay.

663
00:52:15,000 --> 00:52:16,000
Yeah.

664
00:52:16,000 --> 00:52:18,000
Wow.

665
00:52:18,000 --> 00:52:23,000
Yeah, the maximum speed limit is 65.

666
00:52:23,000 --> 00:52:26,000
He was doing 148.

667
00:52:26,000 --> 00:52:30,000
That required jail, didn't it?

668
00:52:30,000 --> 00:52:32,000
You would think so.

669
00:52:32,000 --> 00:52:34,000
I mean that's what I've always heard.

670
00:52:34,000 --> 00:52:37,000
That should actually be a felony.

671
00:52:37,000 --> 00:52:38,000
That's what I'm thinking.

672
00:52:38,000 --> 00:52:44,000
I thought in Missouri after so many miles which he obviously would have hit is a felony

673
00:52:44,000 --> 00:52:49,000
and you go to jail as soon as that happens, as soon as they catch you.

674
00:52:49,000 --> 00:52:50,000
Wow.

675
00:52:50,000 --> 00:52:51,000
Okay then, you know what?

676
00:52:51,000 --> 00:52:53,000
I mean he should have had his radar detector on, right?

677
00:52:53,000 --> 00:52:55,000
I don't even know if they work anymore.

678
00:52:55,000 --> 00:53:01,000
Someone told me that radar detectors don't even work anymore because they have a new system that you can't locate it.

679
00:53:01,000 --> 00:53:04,000
Do you know anything about that?

680
00:53:04,000 --> 00:53:07,000
No, but I've always had a problem with them.

681
00:53:07,000 --> 00:53:09,000
Yeah, I've never had them work with me either.

682
00:53:09,000 --> 00:53:13,000
I was actually sitting there one night.

683
00:53:13,000 --> 00:53:19,000
Cop had me might kick it when my radar detector went off.

684
00:53:19,000 --> 00:53:20,000
What did he do?

685
00:53:20,000 --> 00:53:21,000
Was he laughing?

686
00:53:21,000 --> 00:53:23,000
That's not bullshit.

687
00:53:23,000 --> 00:53:26,000
That was up at like 88th and Blue Ridge.

688
00:53:26,000 --> 00:53:27,000
Oh, okay.

689
00:53:27,000 --> 00:53:29,000
Right up by Loma Vista.

690
00:53:29,000 --> 00:53:30,000
Yeah, yeah.

691
00:53:30,000 --> 00:53:32,000
How fast were you going through that stretch?

692
00:53:32,000 --> 00:53:34,000
Just wondering.

693
00:53:34,000 --> 00:53:38,000
Oh, he got me for like 15 over.

694
00:53:38,000 --> 00:53:40,000
Oh, okay.

695
00:53:40,000 --> 00:53:46,000
Dude, it was like 89.

696
00:53:46,000 --> 00:53:48,000
Oh, I remember my Monte Carlo.

697
00:53:48,000 --> 00:53:50,000
I used to do that all the time.

698
00:53:50,000 --> 00:53:53,000
That was driving slow through there.

699
00:53:53,000 --> 00:53:55,000
Remember my red Monte Carlo?

700
00:53:55,000 --> 00:53:56,000
I used to get all the tickets out.

701
00:53:56,000 --> 00:53:57,000
Oh, yeah.

702
00:53:57,000 --> 00:54:01,000
Oh, yeah, that thing ran like a striped ass ape, whatever that means.

703
00:54:01,000 --> 00:54:04,000
You know, I'm going to look that up.

704
00:54:04,000 --> 00:54:05,000
What does a striped ass ape mean?

705
00:54:05,000 --> 00:54:06,000
I've got to look that up.

706
00:54:06,000 --> 00:54:07,000
I wonder.

707
00:54:07,000 --> 00:54:08,000
I'll ever report that.

708
00:54:08,000 --> 00:54:09,000
I've been wondering that myself.

709
00:54:09,000 --> 00:54:10,000
Yeah.

710
00:54:10,000 --> 00:54:13,000
I've got to look at some of these little sayings that we used to have, you know, like striped

711
00:54:13,000 --> 00:54:18,600
ass ape and stuff like that, because I wonder if there's actually any origin or if someone

712
00:54:18,600 --> 00:54:22,000
just said that one day and everyone was like, haha, I kind of like that.

713
00:54:22,000 --> 00:54:26,000
So, anyhow, all right, Rob, is that it?

714
00:54:26,000 --> 00:54:28,000
Yeah, that was it.

715
00:54:28,000 --> 00:54:29,000
Wow.

716
00:54:29,000 --> 00:54:30,000
Okay, thank you.

717
00:54:30,000 --> 00:54:38,000
And again, one of our favorite outlets, that's 1070 Sedalia, home of Mozart Fest in September,

718
00:54:38,000 --> 00:54:43,000
which I'm going to be at to watch Glenn Hughes and Head East and a couple other bands.

719
00:54:43,000 --> 00:54:44,000
I mean, that ought to be pretty good.

720
00:54:44,000 --> 00:54:46,000
And Rob might be there too.

721
00:54:46,000 --> 00:54:48,000
You're thinking about attending, aren't you?

722
00:54:48,000 --> 00:54:52,000
And also home of the Missouri State Fair.

723
00:54:52,000 --> 00:54:54,000
Yes, it's going to be excellent.

724
00:54:54,000 --> 00:54:59,000
It's going to be at the fairgrounds at that arena there, that amphitheater that they have,

725
00:54:59,000 --> 00:55:00,000
the outdoor one.

726
00:55:00,000 --> 00:55:01,000
It's going to be there.

727
00:55:01,000 --> 00:55:02,000
Right.

728
00:55:02,000 --> 00:55:06,000
So it's actually going to be on the fairgrounds, but the fair isn't going on in September.

729
00:55:06,000 --> 00:55:07,000
It goes on in August.

730
00:55:07,000 --> 00:55:11,000
So, but it's, you know, it's a three day fest.

731
00:55:11,000 --> 00:55:12,000
It looks pretty cool.

732
00:55:12,000 --> 00:55:14,000
And I'm going to talk about it more coming up.

733
00:55:14,000 --> 00:55:17,000
But anyhow, all right.

734
00:55:17,000 --> 00:55:19,000
Twenty one experiences.

735
00:55:19,000 --> 00:55:25,000
Actually, I narrowed it down to 16 because the other ones were like they were too obvious.

736
00:55:25,000 --> 00:55:26,000
So I just X'd them out.

737
00:55:26,000 --> 00:55:27,000
Right.

738
00:55:27,000 --> 00:55:28,000
Everyone knows.

739
00:55:28,000 --> 00:55:29,000
Okay.

740
00:55:29,000 --> 00:55:32,000
Here is basically I think 16 is what I got here.

741
00:55:32,000 --> 00:55:38,000
Sixteen experiences that boomers went through that millennials have no clue about.

742
00:55:38,000 --> 00:55:43,000
Number one, a Walkman.

743
00:55:43,000 --> 00:55:48,000
How would you explain a Walkman to a Azir or a millennial?

744
00:55:48,000 --> 00:56:03,000
It was a portable tape player that had very primitive speakers and a cord that went from

745
00:56:03,000 --> 00:56:06,000
the tape player to your head.

746
00:56:06,000 --> 00:56:07,000
Yeah.

747
00:56:07,000 --> 00:56:13,000
It was a horrible system now looking at all the Bluetooth stuff and all that.

748
00:56:13,000 --> 00:56:16,000
But it was awesome in the day.

749
00:56:16,000 --> 00:56:17,000
Yeah, it was.

750
00:56:17,000 --> 00:56:18,000
It was great.

751
00:56:18,000 --> 00:56:21,000
And the thing is, everybody could tell what you're listening to.

752
00:56:21,000 --> 00:56:24,000
Horrible on your ears because they were just speakers.

753
00:56:24,000 --> 00:56:25,000
There's nothing cuffed around you.

754
00:56:25,000 --> 00:56:29,000
They're just speakers that were really loud over your ears.

755
00:56:29,000 --> 00:56:32,000
And you walk up and go, hey, man, what are you listening to?

756
00:56:32,000 --> 00:56:33,000
Ted Nugent.

757
00:56:33,000 --> 00:56:34,000
Yeah.

758
00:56:34,000 --> 00:56:35,000
Yeah.

759
00:56:35,000 --> 00:56:36,000
Oh, man.

760
00:56:36,000 --> 00:56:37,000
That's a great song.

761
00:56:37,000 --> 00:56:41,000
You know, so that one, a lot of ones, a lot of millennials and definitely Xeris and Alphas

762
00:56:41,000 --> 00:56:43,000
would have no idea about.

763
00:56:43,000 --> 00:56:45,000
Next one.

764
00:56:45,000 --> 00:56:47,000
Dial up Internet.

765
00:56:47,000 --> 00:56:49,000
How bad did that suck, Rob?

766
00:56:49,000 --> 00:56:51,000
Oh, my God.

767
00:56:51,000 --> 00:56:52,000
First off.

768
00:56:52,000 --> 00:56:53,000
I got up.

769
00:56:53,000 --> 00:57:00,000
Whenever you were online, your phone would, and we didn't have cell phones, your phone

770
00:57:00,000 --> 00:57:03,000
would be busy so you couldn't receive calls.

771
00:57:03,000 --> 00:57:04,000
And it was slow.

772
00:57:04,000 --> 00:57:09,000
Half the time you would try to dial and it would have an error and you couldn't even

773
00:57:09,000 --> 00:57:10,000
connect.

774
00:57:10,000 --> 00:57:12,000
Then the other half the time it was interrupted.

775
00:57:12,000 --> 00:57:16,000
You couldn't hardly watch any movies or nothing because it would stop.

776
00:57:16,000 --> 00:57:18,000
It would buffer Internet radio.

777
00:57:18,000 --> 00:57:20,000
You couldn't, the primitive Internet radio.

778
00:57:20,000 --> 00:57:22,000
You couldn't because it would buffer constantly.

779
00:57:22,000 --> 00:57:24,000
And it really sucked.

780
00:57:24,000 --> 00:57:26,000
Dial up Internet was horrible.

781
00:57:26,000 --> 00:57:27,000
So.

782
00:57:27,000 --> 00:57:33,000
And this back in the Windows 95 and T kind of day.

783
00:57:33,000 --> 00:57:35,000
So anyhow.

784
00:57:35,000 --> 00:57:36,000
Next one.

785
00:57:36,000 --> 00:57:38,000
A fax machine.

786
00:57:38,000 --> 00:57:42,000
What would you call a fax machine?

787
00:57:42,000 --> 00:57:46,000
A letter that sent letter, a machine that sent letters.

788
00:57:46,000 --> 00:57:49,000
It photocopied it and sent it.

789
00:57:49,000 --> 00:57:50,000
Yeah.

790
00:57:50,000 --> 00:57:51,000
Yeah.

791
00:57:51,000 --> 00:57:53,000
That's about the only way you could.

792
00:57:53,000 --> 00:57:54,000
Yeah.

793
00:57:54,000 --> 00:57:55,000
It was a very primitive email.

794
00:57:55,000 --> 00:57:58,000
If you needed something to get somewhere really quick, the only way to do was to find a place

795
00:57:58,000 --> 00:58:02,000
for the fax machine that you could use.

796
00:58:02,000 --> 00:58:04,000
So.

797
00:58:04,000 --> 00:58:07,000
Next one is a floppy disk.

798
00:58:07,000 --> 00:58:12,000
Now how would you describe a floppy disk Rob?

799
00:58:12,000 --> 00:58:14,000
Um.

800
00:58:14,000 --> 00:58:15,000
Um a little.

801
00:58:15,000 --> 00:58:16,000
I don't know.

802
00:58:16,000 --> 00:58:18,000
I always felt like I'm paying the ass.

803
00:58:18,000 --> 00:58:19,000
They were.

804
00:58:19,000 --> 00:58:20,000
They were.

805
00:58:20,000 --> 00:58:24,000
They were little plastic disks with a little disk in the middle.

806
00:58:24,000 --> 00:58:28,000
A little like what would be a disk now or a CD-ROM back then.

807
00:58:28,000 --> 00:58:29,000
A very small one.

808
00:58:29,000 --> 00:58:36,000
And a little plastic clip that you pushed into your computer to put information on and

809
00:58:36,000 --> 00:58:38,000
then took it back out.

810
00:58:38,000 --> 00:58:39,000
Really.

811
00:58:39,000 --> 00:58:40,000
Yeah.

812
00:58:40,000 --> 00:58:41,000
They were really bad.

813
00:58:41,000 --> 00:58:42,000
They sucked.

814
00:58:42,000 --> 00:58:43,000
So anyhow be glad.

815
00:58:43,000 --> 00:58:44,000
Look it up.

816
00:58:44,000 --> 00:58:47,000
Any of this stuff just look it up if you have any questions about.

817
00:58:47,000 --> 00:58:48,000
Um.

818
00:58:48,000 --> 00:58:49,000
Phone directories.

819
00:58:49,000 --> 00:58:50,000
Remember the yellow pages?

820
00:58:50,000 --> 00:58:51,000
Yes.

821
00:58:51,000 --> 00:58:52,000
Yes.

822
00:58:52,000 --> 00:58:53,000
Yeah.

823
00:58:53,000 --> 00:58:54,000
Um.

824
00:58:54,000 --> 00:58:55,000
Phone directories.

825
00:58:55,000 --> 00:59:00,000
There used to be this thing called the yellow pages.

826
00:59:00,000 --> 00:59:05,000
And they sent it to every household in every city that had a phone.

827
00:59:05,000 --> 00:59:09,000
And literally someone in a truck or a van would drive up.

828
00:59:09,000 --> 00:59:12,000
And this big phone book would be thrown out of there.

829
00:59:12,000 --> 00:59:16,000
Hopefully it didn't hit you or your cat or something because it would probably kill you.

830
00:59:16,000 --> 00:59:19,000
This phone book was bigger than any encyclopedia.

831
00:59:19,000 --> 00:59:23,000
And it was in a plastic bag.

832
00:59:23,000 --> 00:59:25,000
And they threw it in your yard.

833
00:59:25,000 --> 00:59:30,000
And then you're going hey hey hey I think the yellow pages are here for this year.

834
00:59:30,000 --> 00:59:31,000
And you run out there and you grab it.

835
00:59:31,000 --> 00:59:35,000
And then this is the only way you could find phone numbers.

836
00:59:35,000 --> 00:59:39,000
Like if you want a number to somebody a residential and you're like hey man what's Chet's number.

837
00:59:39,000 --> 00:59:41,000
I don't fucking remember.

838
00:59:41,000 --> 00:59:42,000
Oh okay let me look.

839
00:59:42,000 --> 00:59:43,000
What's his last name?

840
00:59:43,000 --> 00:59:44,000
I don't know.

841
00:59:44,000 --> 00:59:45,000
Blanket Chet.

842
00:59:45,000 --> 00:59:46,000
Okay.

843
00:59:46,000 --> 00:59:47,000
And then you look it up and go oh there's four of them.

844
00:59:47,000 --> 00:59:51,000
Does he live in Parkville or Gladstone or does he live in South Kansas City?

845
00:59:51,000 --> 00:59:53,000
And then you'd have to do that.

846
00:59:53,000 --> 00:59:56,000
So it was like a really big pain in the ass just to get someone's number.

847
00:59:56,000 --> 00:59:57,000
Oh yeah.

848
00:59:57,000 --> 00:59:58,000
Restaurants.

849
00:59:58,000 --> 01:00:04,000
You had to look through them like RC's down here or Jess and Jim's or Jack's Deck.

850
01:00:04,000 --> 01:00:06,000
You'd have to literally go to the R's.

851
01:00:06,000 --> 01:00:09,000
Okay Reggie.

852
01:00:09,000 --> 01:00:10,000
No no no.

853
01:00:10,000 --> 01:00:11,000
Reginald.

854
01:00:11,000 --> 01:00:12,000
Okay Riley.

855
01:00:12,000 --> 01:00:13,000
Oh hey here it is.

856
01:00:13,000 --> 01:00:14,000
RC's.

857
01:00:14,000 --> 01:00:16,000
You know you'd have to do that.

858
01:00:16,000 --> 01:00:19,000
And there's thousands of pages in these things.

859
01:00:19,000 --> 01:00:21,000
And it was very time consuming.

860
01:00:21,000 --> 01:00:22,000
And it sucked.

861
01:00:22,000 --> 01:00:26,000
So in-house cordless phones.

862
01:00:26,000 --> 01:00:28,000
Remember those?

863
01:00:28,000 --> 01:00:29,000
Yes.

864
01:00:29,000 --> 01:00:32,000
These things were awful.

865
01:00:32,000 --> 01:00:39,000
Because after they had about a couple of months usage on them they wouldn't work as well.

866
01:00:39,000 --> 01:00:43,000
So anytime you tried to get a private call in like you're calling a girl or something.

867
01:00:43,000 --> 01:00:49,000
If you didn't want your parents to hear and you tried to go upstairs or around the corner outside.

868
01:00:49,000 --> 01:00:52,000
It would break up so you have to go back within their listening range.

869
01:00:52,000 --> 01:00:54,000
So you couldn't get anything by them.

870
01:00:54,000 --> 01:00:57,000
You know we used to have code words like me and Davey.

871
01:00:57,000 --> 01:01:03,000
And his mom later on in life told us she knew what our code words were.

872
01:01:03,000 --> 01:01:08,000
She just let us do it because that's you know it was our experiences that we had to go through.

873
01:01:08,000 --> 01:01:14,000
There was these little bitty eight ounce Paps blue ribbons that we got from a liquor store in Martin City.

874
01:01:14,000 --> 01:01:16,000
It's no longer there.

875
01:01:16,000 --> 01:01:17,000
Okay.

876
01:01:17,000 --> 01:01:19,000
And there were 35 of them.

877
01:01:19,000 --> 01:01:25,000
So Davey we knew that his mom would listen in on our phone calls to find out what we're doing.

878
01:01:25,000 --> 01:01:28,000
Davey would go hey Mark you got that 35 cents?

879
01:01:28,000 --> 01:01:29,000
You owe me?

880
01:01:29,000 --> 01:01:31,000
Hang on let me check.

881
01:01:31,000 --> 01:01:32,000
Yeah yeah I got that 35 cents.

882
01:01:32,000 --> 01:01:33,000
Alright cool.

883
01:01:33,000 --> 01:01:35,000
Well I'll meet you I don't know downtown or something.

884
01:01:35,000 --> 01:01:36,000
Okay.

885
01:01:36,000 --> 01:01:40,000
And she later on told us every one of these ones and what they were.

886
01:01:40,000 --> 01:01:41,000
She said I knew what they were.

887
01:01:41,000 --> 01:01:43,000
I knew your code words.

888
01:01:43,000 --> 01:01:45,000
I just had to let you guys go through your experiences.

889
01:01:45,000 --> 01:01:46,000
I couldn't stop you.

890
01:01:46,000 --> 01:01:48,000
You were going to do it one way or another.

891
01:01:48,000 --> 01:01:51,000
But I knew you guys never got over on me.

892
01:01:51,000 --> 01:01:54,000
You knew Davey's mom right?

893
01:01:54,000 --> 01:01:56,000
Yeah yeah yeah.

894
01:01:56,000 --> 01:01:58,000
Yeah yeah she pretty much let us know.

895
01:01:58,000 --> 01:02:00,000
She knew all of them.

896
01:02:00,000 --> 01:02:05,000
So anyhow we had to have code words and all this shit and half the time they knew anyhow.

897
01:02:05,000 --> 01:02:08,000
So anyhow the in house cordless phone sucked.

898
01:02:08,000 --> 01:02:12,000
VHS tape.

899
01:02:12,000 --> 01:02:22,000
It was a huge tape that you stuck in this box a VCR and it would play a movie.

900
01:02:22,000 --> 01:02:27,000
They would unravel.

901
01:02:27,000 --> 01:02:30,000
Also good for slacking your brother upside the head.

902
01:02:30,000 --> 01:02:33,000
Oh yeah oh they were fantastic for that.

903
01:02:33,000 --> 01:02:37,000
Oh if you get them with a corner it would hurt so bad you'd want to fucking cry.

904
01:02:37,000 --> 01:02:40,000
And sometimes maybe I did I'm not admitting to it.

905
01:02:40,000 --> 01:02:44,000
So the VHS tape was a piece of crap.

906
01:02:44,000 --> 01:02:48,000
Half the time they would like get all garbled and scrambled.

907
01:02:48,000 --> 01:02:53,000
And then you try to take them back to Blockbuster and hopefully they wouldn't notice or airway.

908
01:02:53,000 --> 01:02:55,000
Yeah yeah.

909
01:02:55,000 --> 01:03:00,000
You'd be like okay rewind it really quick just enough to where they can't see the garble.

910
01:03:00,000 --> 01:03:02,000
And maybe they won't know we ruined it.

911
01:03:02,000 --> 01:03:05,000
So anyhow half the time worked half the time it didn't.

912
01:03:05,000 --> 01:03:08,000
How about a beta tape?

913
01:03:08,000 --> 01:03:10,000
Beta was supposed to be.

914
01:03:10,000 --> 01:03:12,000
Oh those were garby.

915
01:03:12,000 --> 01:03:17,000
Yes they were they were supposed to be the big hot deal because they were much smaller than a VHS tape for movies.

916
01:03:17,000 --> 01:03:22,000
And you would put them in there but their quality wasn't they just sucked.

917
01:03:22,000 --> 01:03:25,000
And they went nowhere they fell flat on their face.

918
01:03:25,000 --> 01:03:28,000
Yeah VHS took out beta.

919
01:03:28,000 --> 01:03:31,000
Yeah yeah beta went yeah plunk plunk.

920
01:03:31,000 --> 01:03:32,000
Yeah.

921
01:03:32,000 --> 01:03:38,000
So how about the big RCA Victor TVs without a remote.

922
01:03:38,000 --> 01:03:41,000
We were the remote remember.

923
01:03:41,000 --> 01:03:42,000
Oh definitely.

924
01:03:42,000 --> 01:03:43,000
Yeah.

925
01:03:43,000 --> 01:03:46,000
Robbie go over there and turn to channel 5 the news is on.

926
01:03:46,000 --> 01:03:47,000
Yes dad.

927
01:03:47,000 --> 01:03:48,000
Yeah.

928
01:03:48,000 --> 01:03:49,000
Yep yep yep.

929
01:03:49,000 --> 01:03:55,000
Marky get off your ass go over there and turn it to channel 9 the weather is about ready to come on.

930
01:03:55,000 --> 01:03:56,000
Right Rob.

931
01:03:56,000 --> 01:03:57,000
What?

932
01:03:57,000 --> 01:03:58,000
Nothing.

933
01:03:58,000 --> 01:03:59,000
Sure thing dad.

934
01:03:59,000 --> 01:04:00,000
Yeah.

935
01:04:00,000 --> 01:04:05,000
Yep and if not you may got hit over the head with a VHS tape right.

936
01:04:05,000 --> 01:04:06,000
Yeah.

937
01:04:06,000 --> 01:04:09,000
Which hurt like hell.

938
01:04:09,000 --> 01:04:12,000
Just over and reach a dad's chair.

939
01:04:12,000 --> 01:04:14,000
Yes sir oh yeah yeah.

940
01:04:14,000 --> 01:04:17,000
Yep that or the belt.

941
01:04:17,000 --> 01:04:26,000
I was just telling I was just telling the grandson about about how we used to get the belt administered on us.

942
01:04:26,000 --> 01:04:31,000
And I remember really this one we lived in northeast Kansas City and I was just a little turd.

943
01:04:31,000 --> 01:04:32,000
OK.

944
01:04:32,000 --> 01:04:35,000
And I was the only one with my mom because the two elders were in school.

945
01:04:35,000 --> 01:04:37,000
I wasn't quite in school yet.

946
01:04:37,000 --> 01:04:38,000
I was like four or five.

947
01:04:38,000 --> 01:04:42,000
I do all this stupid shit and my mom would get so fed up she go.

948
01:04:42,000 --> 01:04:45,000
Wait till your dad gets home Marky.

949
01:04:45,000 --> 01:04:46,000
I'm like oh shit.

950
01:04:46,000 --> 01:04:47,000
Oh man I took it too far.

951
01:04:47,000 --> 01:04:48,000
Oh my God.

952
01:04:48,000 --> 01:04:49,000
I'm going to die.

953
01:04:49,000 --> 01:04:50,000
It's over.

954
01:04:50,000 --> 01:04:51,000
It's done.

955
01:04:51,000 --> 01:04:52,000
Oh no.

956
01:04:52,000 --> 01:04:53,000
OK.

957
01:04:53,000 --> 01:04:55,000
So all day I do this like I don't know midday and then I had till 430 to think about.

958
01:04:55,000 --> 01:04:57,000
It and distress about it.

959
01:04:57,000 --> 01:04:58,000
OK.

960
01:04:58,000 --> 01:04:59,000
So all right.

961
01:04:59,000 --> 01:05:06,000
If I couldn't talk her out of it and be nice and talk her out of having my dad belt me.

962
01:05:06,000 --> 01:05:17,000
If it was absolutely going to happen I used to look through the curtains in the front and when he pulled in the driveway I would rate the look on his face.

963
01:05:17,000 --> 01:05:23,000
If it looked like he had a horrible day at work and his boss punked him all day I knew I was going to get murdered and I'd be over their mom.

964
01:05:23,000 --> 01:05:24,000
Dad's already mad.

965
01:05:24,000 --> 01:05:25,000
He hadn't even come in here yet.

966
01:05:25,000 --> 01:05:26,000
Please please please man.

967
01:05:26,000 --> 01:05:27,000
I swear I won't do that again.

968
01:05:27,000 --> 01:05:28,000
I'm sorry.

969
01:05:28,000 --> 01:05:29,000
I'm so sorry.

970
01:05:29,000 --> 01:05:30,000
Please mom please.

971
01:05:30,000 --> 01:05:31,000
He's going to kill me.

972
01:05:31,000 --> 01:05:32,000
Look at the look on his face.

973
01:05:32,000 --> 01:05:33,000
He's already mad.

974
01:05:33,000 --> 01:05:35,000
So sometimes it will work.

975
01:05:35,000 --> 01:05:36,000
Sometimes it wouldn't.

976
01:05:36,000 --> 01:05:38,000
Sometimes like no no no you're going to get murdered.

977
01:05:38,000 --> 01:05:46,000
And I come in and I hear that I'd be in the other room and I hear a little Marky did and all of a sudden you hear that sigh.

978
01:05:46,000 --> 01:05:50,000
What did little Marky do?

979
01:05:50,000 --> 01:05:54,000
And then next thing you know you hear the door crack open in your room and you're toast.

980
01:05:54,000 --> 01:05:55,000
So anyhow.

981
01:05:55,000 --> 01:05:56,000
So anyhow.

982
01:05:56,000 --> 01:05:58,000
I forgot how I got the other remote.

983
01:05:58,000 --> 01:06:03,000
Twice a day mail.

984
01:06:03,000 --> 01:06:08,000
Remember when mail used to run twice a day?

985
01:06:08,000 --> 01:06:09,000
No I don't.

986
01:06:09,000 --> 01:06:10,000
You don't remember that?

987
01:06:10,000 --> 01:06:13,000
That was back in the days of the milkman.

988
01:06:13,000 --> 01:06:17,000
The milkman ran twice a day and so did the mail.

989
01:06:17,000 --> 01:06:21,000
Okay I remember the milkman but I don't remember the mail being twice.

990
01:06:21,000 --> 01:06:22,000
It was.

991
01:06:22,000 --> 01:06:28,000
It used to be twice a day and then they went it to once and now it's like whenever you're lucky enough to get it.

992
01:06:28,000 --> 01:06:29,000
Yeah.

993
01:06:29,000 --> 01:06:44,000
Here's one for you that's really odd because as up to 15 years ago I was working in Broken Arrow Oklahoma on a job and they still had smoking in the cafe.

994
01:06:44,000 --> 01:06:50,000
Because that little town that was next to Broken Arrow that the cafe that we went to allowed smoking in public places still.

995
01:06:50,000 --> 01:06:54,000
And this is like 15 maybe 17 years ago something like that.

996
01:06:54,000 --> 01:07:01,000
And we'd go in there to get like I don't know our chicken fried steak or something and the place would just reek of smoke.

997
01:07:01,000 --> 01:07:09,000
And people like smacking their dentures and smoking I don't know fucking Lucky Strikes or whatever Winston or whatever.

998
01:07:09,000 --> 01:07:10,000
And oh man.

999
01:07:10,000 --> 01:07:17,000
But people used to smoke in public everywhere movie theaters restaurants cars everything.

1000
01:07:17,000 --> 01:07:22,000
Everything used to just be all smoke filled all the bars used to be all smoky.

1001
01:07:22,000 --> 01:07:25,000
That's something that the younger generation would not get.

1002
01:07:25,000 --> 01:07:28,000
Wow people used to smoke like in here.

1003
01:07:28,000 --> 01:07:30,000
Yeah this movie theater.

1004
01:07:30,000 --> 01:07:35,000
So next one paper maps at gas stations.

1005
01:07:35,000 --> 01:07:40,000
Remember you'd be headed out towards the lake or Arkansas or wherever.

1006
01:07:40,000 --> 01:07:50,000
And be like man I better go into the Sinclair here and grab a map because I'm not quite sure what road we turn on we turn on F or we turn on Z.

1007
01:07:50,000 --> 01:07:58,000
You know that we have to go in there and get a map and then come out there and start looking over it all figure out where we're at all that.

1008
01:07:58,000 --> 01:07:59,000
OK we're near Centralia.

1009
01:07:59,000 --> 01:08:02,000
So OK let's see let's look over here.

1010
01:08:02,000 --> 01:08:03,000
OK here we are.

1011
01:08:03,000 --> 01:08:06,000
This is a corner Z and F you know.

1012
01:08:06,000 --> 01:08:12,000
So hey that's all for me.

1013
01:08:12,000 --> 01:08:13,000
Oh Centralia.

1014
01:08:13,000 --> 01:08:16,000
Yeah yeah it's not too far.

1015
01:08:16,000 --> 01:08:17,000
The next one.

1016
01:08:17,000 --> 01:08:26,000
Now they may remember this the younger ones because they're still there still are some pay phones pay phones.

1017
01:08:26,000 --> 01:08:35,000
You used to have to that if you were lucky you found one that you could pull your car up to and then roll down your window and talk from there.

1018
01:08:35,000 --> 01:08:40,000
But everybody used to stick their face up to that receiver and spit all over it.

1019
01:08:40,000 --> 01:08:49,000
It was so nasty and half the time the receiver would be broke because someone's mad at somebody and smashed it against the phone.

1020
01:08:49,000 --> 01:08:52,000
Anyhow I'm glad there's no more pay phones those things sucked.

1021
01:08:52,000 --> 01:08:57,000
OK and then finally.

1022
01:08:57,000 --> 01:09:00,000
Oh yeah yeah that happens a lot too.

1023
01:09:00,000 --> 01:09:01,000
Hey watch this.

1024
01:09:01,000 --> 01:09:10,000
And then your car broke down and you're like oh good there's a pay phone I got a quarter you go up there and the receivers missing motherfucker.

1025
01:09:10,000 --> 01:09:14,000
So yeah and then finally the Cold War era.

1026
01:09:14,000 --> 01:09:21,000
The Cold War era was particularly scary because it wasn't actually a war.

1027
01:09:21,000 --> 01:09:28,000
It was a bunch of chest puffing and threatening and everybody in America was on ease.

1028
01:09:28,000 --> 01:09:31,000
They were building bomb shelters selling them.

1029
01:09:31,000 --> 01:09:36,000
People are swearing up and down that we're going to end up in a nuclear holocaust with Russia which may still happen.

1030
01:09:36,000 --> 01:09:45,000
But this is back in the 60s and 70s and people were literally skilled scared to death because the Cuban Missile Crisis.

1031
01:09:45,000 --> 01:09:54,000
Russia and I think it's Brezhnev and all those guys threatening us constantly and us threatening them and you know it's a pretty scary time in America.

1032
01:09:54,000 --> 01:09:56,000
So anyhow that's what I got.

1033
01:09:56,000 --> 01:10:00,000
I think we're running pretty late here aren't we Rob?

1034
01:10:00,000 --> 01:10:02,000
Yeah yeah we are getting there.

1035
01:10:02,000 --> 01:10:08,000
Alright you got anything you want to cover before we put a bow on this bitch and call it good night?

1036
01:10:08,000 --> 01:10:11,000
Not actually I'm good I'll save the rest for next time.

1037
01:10:11,000 --> 01:10:16,000
You know what I got a bunch of stuff for next time too we didn't get two so anyhow everybody thank you for listening.

1038
01:10:16,000 --> 01:10:18,000
Have a fantastic night.

1039
01:10:18,000 --> 01:10:20,000
Keep telling your friends it's working.

1040
01:10:20,000 --> 01:10:21,000
It is working.

1041
01:10:21,000 --> 01:10:23,000
Our numbers are just going nuts.

1042
01:10:23,000 --> 01:10:25,000
So thank you.

1043
01:10:25,000 --> 01:10:26,000
Good night.

1044
01:10:26,000 --> 01:10:28,000
Hi

1045
01:10:28,000 --> 01:10:31,000
Yep hi Opal, hi Jimmy, hi Ricky.

1046
01:10:31,000 --> 01:10:33,000
Love you guys Dodge City Kansas.

1047
01:10:33,000 --> 01:10:34,000
Ra Ra.

1048
01:10:34,000 --> 01:10:35,000
Half the town's listening.

1049
01:10:35,000 --> 01:10:36,000
Three of you.

1050
01:10:36,000 --> 01:10:37,000
Love you guys.

1051
01:10:37,000 --> 01:10:38,000
Matt Dillon.

1052
01:10:38,000 --> 01:10:39,000
Ra Ra.

1053
01:10:39,000 --> 01:10:40,000
Have a good night.

1054
01:10:40,000 --> 01:10:41,000
Good night assholes.

1055
01:10:41,000 --> 01:10:45,000
Good night assholes.

1056
01:10:45,000 --> 01:10:48,000
Oh no looks like the show's over kids.

1057
01:10:48,000 --> 01:10:52,000
Mark has explosive diarrhea and can't afford a wireless mic.

1058
01:10:52,000 --> 01:11:11,000
Fear not assholes they'll be back invading your ear holes soon.